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clownd1ck · 2 months

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trouble, j. miller | chapter one

mob!joel miller x fem!reader

chapter summary: after getting fired from your job at the bookstore, your grandparents introduce you to the man who’s been helping them out for awhile: joel miller. now, it’s his turn to help you.

chapter warnings: reader swears and has dry humour (she’s a bit of me x), mentions of vip’s getting touchy but it’s hypothetical if that makes sense?? reader calls her grandparents ‘pops’ and ‘nonna’, no beta cause i cba, blah blah blah that’s it

also no hate to anyone who reads romance/physical smut books, the hate is simply towards minors who read them & their parents for allowing them LOL

word count: 2518

(series masterlist)

you really don’t know how much longer you can do this.

you’re six hours into your ten hour shift. you’re bored, you haven’t had your lunch break, and your phone is charging behind the desk where you were watching criminal minds before two teenage girls walked into the bookstore.

you’ve watched them for the past twenty minutes. they practically ran to the romance section, picking up books and flicking to certain pages you know had the most pornographic scenes in them before they’d giggle amongst themselves and add it to the pile they were building.

can teenage girls even afford this many books? you had been working since you were sixteen, and you’d barely get enough money to buy yourself two books whilst the rest would be stored away for college. and is this what people were reading nowadays? a male character that exudes toxic masculine standards whilst the author plays into the whole “innocent, virginal” female character who hadn’t the slightest clue about sex or life? is this what parents were allowing their children to-

“we want these books.” a demanding voice speaks to you, and you almost have to do a double take when you see the two teenage girls stood before you at the counter. god, you couldn’t even rely on the younger generation to be polite these days, especially not when one of them is judging you for your oversized hoodie and sweats and the crocs that sit on your feet.

“of course.” you force a smile, biting back on the insults you wish to hurl upon them. but, your boss is in the back. probably doing jackshit like she usually does, leaving you to work your ass off without any breaks.

the scanner scans the barcode on the back of every book before placing them in two bags. dante’s nine circles of hell sounds more appealing than this. you might just grab one of the books and hit yourself with it, hoping you hit so hard you might pass out and get to leave early. not like your boss would allow it, but the thought of having a hot shower and slipping into bed sounded nice.

“and your total is $194.68, is that going to be cash or card?” you rest your hands on the counter, looking at the two girls. one of them whips out a card, so black and matte you almost feel the courage to ask her if: it’s her fathers, and if so, is he single?

you hand her the card machine where she taps the card, and once the payment is deemed successful, one of the girls takes the bag, looks into it and frowns. “these aren’t in the right order.”

“excuse me?”

“the books aren’t in the right order.”

there’s a right order to put books in. none of them were even a series, and even then, does it really matter if your fucking fairy porn trilogy is separated?

“did you ask for them in a certain order?”

the girl gives you a look. “no?”

“so then why would i know what order to put them in?” you’re so done. you’re so fucking done, mentally, physically, and in the eyes of your boss, as well. the girls look at you, mouths agape, probably because they didn’t think they’d be spoken to this way, but you always said that the second a customer is rude to you, you’re being rude back.

the duo scowl at you as they leave the store, muttering insults under their breaths like it was a middle school friendship break up. you sigh, going to turn around to grab your phone when you jump back, spotting your boss leant against the wall.

“you’re fired.” she states.

“yes!” you fist pump the air sarcastically, grabbing your stuff and practically racing out the store. you didn’t even care if you were supposed to wait until the end of your shift to fully leave your job. you were hungry, tired, and your pops and nonna had told you that pops’ infamous burgers would be made for dinner and you were eager.

on your walk home, you listen to your music. it was relatively dark outside, and ideally, as a woman, you shouldn’t be wearing headphones in the dark. but you had always been more frightened by the noises you could hear rather than the ones you couldn’t.

you step into your home, taking your shoes off by the door and walk into the kitchen. you stop at the sight. your pops and nonna were stood in the kitchen talking to a man you have never seen before and you’re almost offended that your grandparents hadn’t allowed you to meet him because jesus christ and all things holy, that man is beautiful.

he’s tall. scarily tall, actually. and not to say you have a thing for muscular men but you would not mind letting this stranger throw you about. he leans on the kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest as he eyes you up.

“he. who is he?” you point to the man, looking at your grandparents.

your nonna tuts your name. “he is joel miller, helps us out where we need it. why are you home so early, sugar, i thought you had a ten hour shift today?” nonna embraces you, kissing your cheek as she taps your arm, signaling for you to sit down at the kitchen table.

a faux laugh escapes you. “heh, well, you see-”

“don’t tell me that damn boss of yours ‘s been givin’ you a hard time again.” your pops speaks up this time, interrupting you this time. your pops was a scary man. he used to be involved in a lot of shit back in the day, constantly being chased down streets and alleyways by the police, always having them on his doorstep which would cause his mother to scold him. you can’t count the amount of times he’s threatened to come down and give your boss an earful on both hands.

“she actually fired me. apparently addressing one’s stupidity isn’t allowed. however, i am more focused on joel. joel, what is your purpose in this here house?” your head turns to look at the man as he addresses you, and he gives you a small smirk, walking over to the table and sitting across from you.

“she got a mouth on her, don’t she?” he asks your grandparents, and your nonna chuckles.

“always has. only started living with us when she was eighteen because of college, but she’s always had something to say.”

“something that’s gotta be shared with everyone.” your pops adds, and you give him a playful pout.

“right here guys, right here.” you announce. “back to the topic at hand. joel, why have you interrupted my pops’ burger night?” you’re facing each other now, your eyes analysing his face but all he does is smirk and since when was smirking so attractive on a man?

“well, your grandparents here mentioned how you hated your job, and i just so happen to have one that needs filled at one of my clubs.” his texan accent was prominent and full as he spoke, his brown eyes never leaving yours. “‘s if you want it, of course.”

“what club?”

“apocalypse.”

you slam your hands on the table with a wide grin. “i’m sold. when do i start?”

joel chuckles. “no questions about the pay, the shifts?”

you shake your head. “nope, don’t care. you know how hard that club is to get into?” you turn your head to look at your grandparents. “extremely fucking hard, i’ll tell you that right now. and i’ll get to work in there? god, life is so generous to me sometimes.” you exhale lightly, jokingly.

joel doesn’t stay for your pops’ burgers, but he’s given some to take home anyway. you decide to walk him to the door, being the ever so kind woman that you were, ready to see him off when he stops.

“ya’ start at five p.m. tomorrow, alright? i’ll have someone show you around, get you your uniform ‘nd all that before the club opens.”

nodding your head at joel, you bid him goodbye and watch as he makes his way to a sleek, black porsche, get in, and drive off.

____

“what do you mean you’re working for joel miller?” alicia asks you. alicia was the first friend you made at college after you chewed her ear off for the entirety of your first class. a girl who followed gothic fashion and was an absolute sweetheart compared to the people you’ve known in the past.

“i mean exactly what i said, babe. he’s apparently been looking after my grandparents for awhile and he offered me a job at apocalypse after that old bitch fired me.” you shrug, taking a bite of burger you got from dining hall.

“but joel miller is…he’s dangerous! everyone says his clubs are just money laundering schemes to hide his actual money.” naomi spoke up this time. ever the worrier, she was.

“money laundering would mean that no one was using his clubs and they were just there, naomi. the clubs are exclusive. i mean, we’ve all seen the lines to get in. we’ve been in those lines!” alicia somewhat comes to your defense even though you know she’s fully against you working there.

“my friend tina, the one from the political science class, worked there last year, and she says the pay is amazing!” a woman with black curls approaches your trio, another close friend of yours: georgia. “don’t get me wrong, she said some shady stuff happens in the v.i.p. lounge, but probably just guys gambling or something.”

you embrace georgia. “see, good pay and all i have to do is not ask questions. i’ll be fine, guys. and you,” you look at georgia “need to meet me at our cafe so you can tell me about that little masc lesbian of yours.”

you finish the rest of your burger, and pick up your bag. “gotta get home, but i’ll fill you all when i see you.”

you wave goodbye to your friends, walking out of the building as you scroll on your phone. when you get to the street, you bump into someone, about to apologise until you look up and gasp dramatically. “you! are you stalking me. god, joel, i didn’t know i was worth being stalked. that’s so flattering.”

joel scoffs, and opens the passenger door to his black porsche. “get in. ‘m gonna drive you down to the club.”

“don’t have to tell me twice.” you get into the passenger seat, placing your bag down in between your legs and joel closed your door. he rounds the front, getting in beside you and starts the car.

“ya’ hungry?” he asks, driving away from your college building.

“i ate just before i left. had a cheeseburger. not the most edible thing i’ve ever had, but it worked.”

“if you’re hungry when we get there, i’ll take ya’ down to the kitchen and grab you somethin’ there. house mom might have some snacks for ya’ too.”

brows furrowed, you turn to look at him. “the fuck is a house mom?”

“older woman who works with the dancers, takes care of ‘em in between dances. she’ll have snacks, spare outfits or shoes, hygiene products. helps ‘em all like a mom would.”

“nice.” you nod your head, and soon you’re in the private parking lot for the club. joel gets out first, rounding to your side and opening the door up for you. “gotta love a southern gentleman.” you snicker, walking into the club behind him.

he walks up a set of marbled stairs, heading to the second floor. “you’ll be working in the v.i.p. lounge, ‘s where all the dancers are and most of our staff.”

the second floor of the club is lit with red led lights, creating a sultry atmosphere. there are private rooms scattered all around, but there are booths scattered in the middle. joel walks you down to a hidden room and opens the door.

“this is my office. you can put your shit in here.” you walk in and place your bag down on the cushioned sofa, taking a seat beside your belongings. “i’m here when i’m not in the booths doing business, but if anything happens out there, ya’ come and find me, alright?”

you nod your head at him.

“all v.i.p’s know dancers and staff aren’t to be touched, but you gotta promise you’ll come find me if that rule is broken.” after promising, he continues. “i’ll take you down to adele and see if she’s got any spare uniform for you. she’ll walk you through anything else.”

joel guides you down the haul with a hand on your lower back, and if there was a camera following you, you would’ve hand an office moment with this simple touch.

“momma!” joel yells, knocking on a pink door.

the door opens, and an african-american woman opens it. she looks at joel, then you, and embraces you in a tight hug. “welcome, baby. this the new girl we’ve been hearing about?”

“yes ma’am!” you answer before joel can, shooting him a shit-eating grin.

joel speaks your name, and your eyes meet his. “go inside while i talk to adele, she’ll be back to help you in a minute.”

as you step inside the room, you’re met with an abundance of dancers. some are singing, doing their hair and make up, zipping up their heels, and others are lay on sat around eating some snacks.

“hi guys!” you wave at everyone, and they all squeal when they see you, immediately asking questions.

you answer them as best as you can until adele comes in. “now, i gotta get her some heels and her uniform, and when i come back-” adele glances around the room, pointing at an east asian woman with pin straight black hair. “lucy, do her make up, just so she knows what the standard is. your hair is fine, baby, don’t need anyone touching that.”

lucy smiles and waves at you, and you return it as adele leads you into the changing rooms. “uniforms are simple. black shorts, black long sleeve, and…what size shoe are you, baby?”

you respond, and she goes over to a rack of black, leather heeled boots. they’re platformed, shiny, and you know your feet are going to hurt the second your shift is done. “and these. i’ll let you get changed and you just come straight out when you’re done. help yourself to some snacks as well.”

“i don’t have to pay you for them?”

adele chuckles. “no, baby. joel gives me the money to buy the snacks. anything for you girls, joel pays for.” and with that, she leaves the room.

you sigh, looking at the mirror in front of you. this was a new job, with a hot boss, and from what you could tell, the rest of the girls in there were lovely.

this was your life now.

____

a/n: first chapter mother fuckers let’s GOOOOO

taglist (if you want to be added, pls let me know!! & if your name is in bold, i couldn’t find your account :()

@dugiioh @amyispxnk @skysmiller @alyhull @noisynightmarepoetry @elliaze @dendulinka6 @zliteraturehoe @atyourmerci @al33naaa @mermaidgirl30 @lulawantmula @nana90azevedo @endlessthxxghts @getitoutofmymind @you-taste-so-sweet @blazeflays @iveseenstrangerthings50 @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @aquanatalie @katw474 @ludwigxii-blog @eloquentdreamer @kyloispunk @txmel @din-jarring @daddysmilf0123 @sofiparallel @dunkinzjm @runningmom94 @ashhlsstuff @moel-jiller @isimpforfictionalmen @drewharrisonwriter @stormseyer @rodriguez31 @elliesswearjar @vvitchesh3x @joeldjarin @untamedheart81 @ellishamae25 @pedropascalfan221 @mellymbee @pedritosgfreal @yassspose @casa-boiardi

#joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller x you #the last of us #joel miller series #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller au #joel miller smut #joel miller angst #mob!joel #mob boss!joel

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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year

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The Yakuza daughter! S/o x Gun basically made me fangirl as I imagine them being a power couple lol. I now wonder if you got part 2 in that like Goo just discover Gun ring on his hand and a photo of his fiancée/wife in his photo (I just imagine that he took a photo of s/o in a lingerie lol)

Ughhhh Sam, this idea is too fun. Here's a much much quicker follow up with a lot less Yakuza-ness (sorry 🙇🏻‍♀️).

Gun Park x Reader: After I do (feat Goo)

Goo finds out. Follow up to 'I do' fic here

"How was Japan?"

Goo watches Gun washing the blood from his hands. Something about Gun has changed. He seems... different. Goo couldn't quite put his finger on it. Maybe it was Japan. Maybe it's the guy just being a freakshow as per usual.

Gun side-eyes him. The response is clipped, short, singular.

"Fine."

"Not like you to take an extended leave."

"..."

The lack of answer doesn't deter Goo, all too used to his partner's silence. "Business or personal?"

"..."

"Anything I should worry about?"

"..."

"Are you planning anything?"

"..."

"Did you pick up my Sanrio-"

Gun thrusts his hands in the dryer, the blasts of air drowning out Goo's incessant questioning. Unfortunately, this doesn't last long enough. Nothing ever does once the blonde's curiousity is piqued.

As soon as the whirring stops, Goo opens his mouth once again and Gun finally responds. "No, no and no. Shut up."

Hmph. Looks like Goo won't get anything else from this asshole. With a glint in his eye, he asks his final question, "You owe me for covering your duties. Was Crystal always this annoying?"

Gun reluctantly smiles. "Yes."

"What does our big bad boss want?"

Gun scans his phone. The message from just moments ago wasn't anything of significance to their mission. Although. The selfie of you in a seductive pose and risque underwear might be a distraction.

He appreciates it for a beat longer then locks the device. "It's not our boss."

That's the end of that conversation. Or so he thought.

"Huh?" Goo's eyes dart over to him with increasing frequency and the car starts to swerve.

Gun will not die by his hand because this fucking maniac can't keep his eyes on the road. Begrudgingly, he elaborates, "It's personal."

The blonde's eyes bulge out at this admission, "During work hours? Who wants to text a mean bastard like you?"

For fuck's sake. Can't this fucking idiot ever mind his own business.

Goo continues, "Who the hell would even want to be friends with you? I hope you're not plotting anything against me..." A malicious snicker, "Or are you dating? You should introduce me to them, they must be a firecracker!"

Gun tunes out his partner, a skill he has long mastered.

But when his phone buzzes for the third time in as many minutes, with you no doubt sending yet another racy image, Gun has to physically restrain himself from looking (and internally curses you for your poor timing).

Goo tries to swipe at the phone. "Hey, let me text back!"

Gun moves it effortlessly out of arm's reach. "If you're not going to keep those eyes on the road, then I can just pluck them from your head."

"You're no fun." Goo pouts, narrowly missing driving into a ravine.

"Oppa~ do you want a bite of this sushi?"

"No."

"Are you sure? It's really delicious!"

"..."

"Just a little taste!"

"Come near me again, I'll jam the sushi and the chopsticks down your throat."

"Ahhh~! Goo, your friend is so mean!"

What the fuck? Gun seems to be in an even more sour mood than usual. The last time the both of them were at this Gangnam bar, Gun had no issues with the women. Someone to warm his bed for the night, he had figured.

This evening though? He didn't even bat an eyelid in their direction.

"Gun! You can at least be nice to these sweethearts!" Goo snaps.

"No." Gun replies simply, getting up to leave.

What a fucking weirdo, Goo thinks. Oh well, more sushi for me.

"Since when did you wear jewellery?"

Goo snatches Gun's left hand, pulling it up to his face and holding it so close he is cross-eyed behind his glasses.

He absolutely has not seen this before, his brows furrow at this very odd addition. A plain, silver-coloured ring wrapped around the fourth finger.

Yanking his hand back, Gun responds. "Since I want to."

"A plain ring? On that finger?" Goo trails after him as he strides off, "You know what that means right? Wait..."

Goo completely stops in his tracks, "A couple band? Engagement? Are you...?"

Gun completely ignores him, increasing the distance between them.

No fucking way, right? The simple band on his hand is definitely something, but-

There's just-

No. fucking. way.

Who the fuck would be able to put up with Gun Park?

"Who's that?" Goo peers at the picture of the smokeshow on Gun's phone, catching a glimpse just before he tucks it into his pocket.

Having that image is certainly... a choice. Who is she though? A new k-pop idol? Gun doesn't seem like the type that would have an image of an idol or a celebrity as their background.

"My wife."

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Focus." Gun commands, as a gang of men come at them with knives and baseball bats.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Goo repeats, ducking to avoid a slash.

"I said, focus." Gun easily tanks a couple hits before returning some of his own.

"WHAT THE-" Goo's words are cut short as some thug takes advantage of his diverted attention and knocks his glasses off.

"FUCK- Fine." Goo elbows the guy in the solar plexus then easily plucks the baseball bat from his now slack grip. "Let me just borrow this~"

"You must be Goo Kim!"

Turning on the hostess charm, you note how Goo has to almost literally pick his jaw off the floor with your entrance.

Gun leans against the doorframe, observing with quiet smugness at the reaction. You had dropped in at the HNH offices to join Gun for lunch. Usually he would pick a better time and place but the level of questioning from Goo had already surpassed absurd levels ever since he found out Gun was married.

The last few weeks had been hell.

"When did you get married?! You didn't invite me to the wedding? I wasn't your best man? Tell me, who was it! I'll beat them up! When can I meet your bride? Or are you scared I'll charm her away?"

And Gun had promised you a partnership of equals. With your short time in South Korea, you had more than enough proved your usefulness and loyalty. It's about time he cuts you in on the Crew business.

He surmises this is a way to kill two birds with one stone.

You're Gun's wife? This absolute knockout? With him? That fucking boring asshole?

Goo would have thought this is Gun's twisted idea of a prank if he hadn't found out that the guy barely had a sense of humour a long time ago. That time had almost ended in stitches for Goo.

"Mrs. Park!" He gives you a theatrical bow, "I've been so looking forward to working with you!"

"Just call me Y/N," you giggle.

Goo takes your hand, pressing a loud smooch to the top of it. Gun's entire body tenses at the contact. This does not go unnoticed by you.

You retract your hand back, subtly wiping the kiss away, "I can't wait to get stuck into all the details."

"Of course, Y/N!"

"There won't be any trouble from you, right, Goo?"

"Princess, don't you trust me?"

You look Goo dead in the eye, seeing through the fake hurt on his face and dropping your own act.

"No. And," you grab onto his crotch, digging in your nails as Goo yelps, "If there is even a whiff of anything amiss then I'm coming after your balls." Your grip tightens as he tries without success to push you off, "Got it?"

"ACK!! Fuck! Got it, got it!"

You release him, relishing at his squeal.

"If you've broken anything," Goo scowls, struggling to stand and cradling himself tenderly. "Ugh, you two are fucking made for each other. Psychos."

Gun arrives at your side with a smirk, he guides you by the small of your back, leading you out.

"Not bad," he murmurs into your ear, "You were wasted in Japan."

#sorry goo my poor baby #lookism #lookism x reader #lookism headcanons #lookism hc #lookism fic #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #gun park #gun park x reader #park jonggun x reader #park jonggun #goo kim #kim joongoo #wannaeatramyeon

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allgremlinart · 1 month

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i did not know how to use the internet when atla first dropped, what doujins do i keep seeing you and other blogs keep referencing?? what did i miss…

ADsdhs yeah atla is getting up there in age as a fandom so... obviously over the years there have been numerous doujins/fan comics !! The ones I've talked about on here have mostly been ones I remember seeing as a tween in the 2010s, which was mostly jetko and various slash. I think it would be absolutely impossible to find and list all of the atla doujin that's ever existed, only because there are corners of the fandom that I simply do not visit regularly, and so I'm sure there's stuff I don't know of. HOWEVER !! Fuck it. I'll put together a list of the atla doujins/fan comics I DO know of....

2009 Jetko Doujin Anthology The link above is to a yaoi website and is only accessible through the Wayback Machine. The physical anthology was, at some point, available for purchase, but obviously not anymore. There were multiple artists and stories, but it was all centered around modern au jetko. A friend recently helped me finish a translation of one of the stories - by prolific 2000s/2010s jetko artist Avici1881 - in this anthology - you can find links to most of the full translated story here <3

Jetko Doujin by Avici1881, 愛之門 (The Gateway of Love) The artist originally posted this doujin to their Deviantart, but the translation is a little rough, and it's hard to read in the correct order. Tumblr user @/zaqscans created another version of the translation, which is easier to understand, and can be downloaded here. The story is kind of a riff on "The Cave Of Two Lovers," and it's great.

Zukka Doujin by Avici1881 Like the last one, this one is a spoof on "The Cave Of Two Lovers," although this one is much shorter and more goofy. The only place I've been able to find it is Avici's Deviantart. All of the pages are there, it just takes navigating Deviantart's terrible organizational layout to find them.

Astronaut AU Jetko Doujin by kyosa-europa Now I've never actually been able to find any scans or translations for this one, only what's been posted to the artist's Deviantart. It's an astronaut au. That's about all I've got for it.

Mooncake Festival Jetko Comic by kyosa-europa I think I've seen a Chinese version of this comic too, but I can only find this translated version posted to the artist's Deviantart (which works fine for me, obviously). It's very cute. I believe it is unfinished.

2024 Zukaang Doujin by Yishu (@/shange0211) Rejoice! Doujin from the 2020s! The tradition lives on! I have not personally read or purchased this one, but this artist's work is cute. It's the only one of these that I've compiled that you could actually buy, lol. I do not believe there are any translations of it.

Now obviously this doesn't scratch the surface when it comes to the amount of pairings in atla/tlok (I believe I remember a korralok doujin floating around somewhere at some point) but this is the span of what I've probably referenced on this blog.

#allgremlinasks #jetko #zukka #zukaang #doujinshi #any other atla doujin aficionados... chime off if you want. this is mostly jetko.#long post under cut

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dreamkidddream · 9 months

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🌻morning glory: what is their favorite form of physical affection?

🌻honeysuckle: if their s/o was hurt, what would they do?

For Mammon please -////-

It has been TOO 👏🏾 LONG 👏🏾 since I wrote abt our first man- reader is gender neutral!

Plant Ask Game 🌸! *open!

🌻 Morning Glory: what is their favorite form of physical affection?

Kisses- Mammon loves your kisses. Don’t get me wrong, he loves holding and touching you too- but it’s just something about your lips on his that makes his mind go blank. Whether it’s on his cheeks before you leave, on his forehead as he’s dozing off, or even when you pepper them over his face to reassure him- he loves it all.

They’re just so soft, and it gives him a momentary high that even the casino can’t give him- not to mention that it makes him feel so weak. He wants to feel embarrassed with how needy he gets with, but the more your lips press against his, the less he cares. The heat growing on his face is very noticeable, but it’s obvious that he doesn’t mind with how much he keeps leaning in. It’s hard to snap out of his daze after your lips leave his- that’s just the type of effect that you have on him (which he’s not complaining about one bit).

If you ever want to find a way to distract or shut Mammon up, this is the most effective way. But be ready to give all of your undivided attention to him- we all know he’s greedy, and one kiss isn’t enough for him.

🌻 Honeysuckle: if their s/o was hurt, what would they do?

If you were hurt by something small (ie. A paper cut), Mammon’s already scolding you for not being careful. He’s complaining about always having to watch over you since you’re so careless while placing the bandaid on your injured finger (which we know he doesn’t mean- but he still chokes when you thank him and ask him to kiss it better lol).

If you were hurt by something serious, his first priority would be to get you away from whatever (or whoever) hurt you- he knows first hand how fragile humans are, how fragile you are- he’s already whisked you away from the threat, hands roaming and eyes scanning all over your form. He’s staying calm on the outside, but inside he’s trying not to panic. If you’re conscious, he feels a huge weight lift off of him- if you’re unconscious, he’s panicking and already has you in arms, flying to anyone who could help- whether it’s his brothers, Solomon or Lord Diavolo himself- repeating that you’re gonna be okay even if his hands are trembling.

It was already hard to leave your side before, but now he’s really not leaving. Mammon is practically your second shadow, from when you wake up to when you go to sleep, he’s right there. He’s trying to do everything for you so you don’t have to it, not willing to take the risk of you getting hurt again (you have to convince Mammon that you can move on your own without him carrying you everywhere).

It takes some time before Mammon (somewhat) eases off of you, but he’s still on guard just in case (not that he minds being with you anyway).

As far as taking care of whatever/whoever left you in this state, he’s already working on that…

#dream answers 🌤#dream rambles about obey me 😈💜#bestie hack 🔮#plant ask game 🌸#obey me x y/n #obey me x reader #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x you #obey me mammon x reader #mammon x reader #mammon x y/n #mammon x you #mammon x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader

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writtenontheport · 9 months

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The Haunted Boy and His Ghostly Girlfriend

Pt. 2 (Prologue) (Pt. 1)

Anthony Lockwood x fem Reader

Warnings/Tags: A bit of angst in that being a ghost is probably lonely LOL, Lockwood’s a bit more levelheaded here, purely just setup, SLOW BURN!!!, How do you write romance with ghosts, Lockwood is in love with you, He’s a bit stupid about it really, OH YEAH WAIT I FORGOT TO ADD: Reader is literally a ghost LMAO

Notes: I’M SO SORRY IF THIS PART IS A BIT,,,, DISAPPOINTING,,, I know this part isn’t fluff heavy, but I was struggling so hard figuring out how to make this fluffy like I usually do,,, but most of my fluff is exploring physical touch as a love language and if Lockwood touches the reader here he will literally DIE. That is not metaphorical it will kill him… she is a literal ghost 😭

Summary: Lockwood introduces you to the library, which, in the future will become your regular haunting. He’s also pretty sure he would do about anything for you to smile, which might not be the best thing to say to someone you just met so he doesn’t say it!

Word Count: 1.3k+

Lockwood presses the clamps of the silver-glass case open, taking out your necklace and gently laying it on the cushion of his chair. It sits there, on a plump throw-pillow, glimmering in the dark of the room before you appear. Miasma seeps into his bones with a cold chill, but his heart beats three times faster and his cheeks warm at the sight of you.

(In the future, Lockwood would have trouble separating those feelings during cases after spending so much time around you. It was a bit troublesome, but he’d never complain about it— it wasn’t your fault, after all, that your mere presence in the living world brought about a form of death.)

Disorienting as it was, Lockwood is quick to adapt as always and shoots you a grin oozing with charm. It takes you a moment to relax at the sight of it, lips falling into a small smile as you settle to the floor. The silence is thick, but not uncomfortable, and Lockwood is glad about that. He hopes the quick beating of his heart isn’t audible from where you are, or it would quickly become a very uncomfortable silence.

“Lucy and George are, um, upstairs for now,” He says to break the silence, resting his hands on his hips. “Lucy said something about changing out of work clothes and… well, George could be doing anything from reading to doing yoga in the nude, so no idea what he’s up to.”

You smile cheekily at that; a blinding thing when you glow so brightly in other-light. Lockwood’s sure that even without it, your smile would still outshine the moonlight that drenched you when you’d first met. It made him wonder for the first (of many times) what it would have been like if you’d met when you were alive. He wills the thought out of his head and instead focuses on you now as you are, ghostly and all. Really, he was lucky to have met you in general.

“I have a question, if you don’t mind me asking.” He shakes off his jacket and moves to rest it on the back of the chair, gesturing for you to sit. “Though it might be hard to answer now that I think about it.”

You look amused at the gesture and pick up the throw pillow and necklace to put aside, sitting down. Your eyes scan about the room, widening as you gesture to a book on a nearby table and mime writing with a pen. He picks up on it quickly and whips a pen out from one of the many nooks and crannies of the messy library, picking up an empty notebook George must have left here.

“Brilliant thinking,” He says, beaming. Sliding it over to you from across a small table, he rests his hand on the wood of it and leans on that arm, resting the other hand on his hip. It’s a mindless thing that makes you watch him for a moment longer than usual, but it’s enough to make him feel a bit coy. Something about your eyes leaves him rather helpless, but he’s not complaining.

The pen seems to lag behind as you drag it across the page; just for a second, just enough to make something about it seem wrong. It only makes Lockwood feel rather curious, not at all put off. You put the notebook down on the small table but keep the pen closer as you slide him the open page.

‘Ask away,’ you’d written. Your ghostly hand draws the notebook back as you smile lightly up at Lockwood from where you’re sat. Something about it is so soft that it has him weak, clearing his throat as he tries to remember the question.

“Do you know how long you were there for, at the Thistlebrows’?” He watches your lips purse into a thin line, before you scribble an answer back that you turn for him to see.

‘Not really,’ you’d written, something so distinctly lovable seeping into the way you write, ‘Only that it felt like an eternity before I met Pepper. It was rather lonely before her; I lost track of time.’

That made sense, with what he knew about type threes. Lonely sort of ghost, Lucy once described; George had backed that up with, They wait forever for someone to be able to notice them, of course they would be. Right now though, he sees the glimmer in your eyes dull and the smile on your face flatten. It must have been a terrible afterlife to live alone for so long; it must have been doubly terrible to have the only person who could hear you taken away. The thought wraps its horrid fingers around his heart as he watches you hover the pen over the page as if frozen in time; your eyes focused on Pepper’s name.

Something lurches in his gut, urging him to say something— anything— that might make this better. This is something that will follow him for every day that he knows you, and every single time it will feel like it will be the death of him as much as your gorgeous eyes.

“Pepper was very upset at being sent away, you know?” He says quietly, watching as you turn up to him in surprise. “Her grandparents told us about it, said you were her best friend.”

You drop your eyes back onto the page, a little smile playing at your lips as you write. Lockwood could live off your smile for the rest of his life (and afterlife) if you’d let him, the beauty of it beyond description. It wasn’t strange to feel so proud of making someone smile, right? Especially if said someone was the most beautiful girl dead or alive.

‘Her parents were deathly protective of her, barely let her outside. I was her only friend.’ Lockwood knew tacitly that she was yours too, but chose not to bring it up.

“We could send her letters, if you want?” He suggests, taking long steps over to the chair across. You eye him cautiously, and he finds it a bit (correction: quite a bit) endearing. “We’d give them to her grandparents to send for us, of course. If her parents are that dour, I’d doubt they’d let her read a letter from some random agency housing ghosts.”

With your brows raised and the impression of a smile, you write to him ‘Maybe you aren’t that dull after all.’

He huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes, leaning deeply into the chair. “I think you’ll find I’m actually quite brilliant.”

He can’t hear it, but your shoulders ruffle in a bit of laughter and he’s struck frozen by your beaming face. Maybe it was simply the effect of a type three, but Lockwood was feeling the exact opposite of ghost-lock; a heart threatening to beat out of his rib cage, and a warmth filling his lungs despite the cold air. Miasma and thick quiet be damned, your presence brought him something warm and comforting in all the ways he could never explain.

Before you could write back whatever clever reply you wanted to, footsteps heavy and full ran down the stairs (echoing through the walls, they were so loud) and startled you both. Lockwood sends you a smile as he raises from the chair.

“Get ready; if that’s George you’re about to be questioned for the next hour at least,” He grimaces playfully. Your smile blooms as the warmth in his chest does, unfurling like other-light and a warm haze in his heart.

(George, who actually can hear you when he holds your source, does proceed to ask you questions for at least an hour that day alone. Lucy, who can hear you just fine, told him off if he said anything a bit too insensitive. Lockwood? Well, he asked so many questions too that Lucy begged him to just learn sign language with you so he could ask them himself. The way his whole face brightened— you were sure it made your dead heart beat.)

A/N: IM SORRYYY,, I know I know,,, I said this part would be more… MORE…. BUT I JUST… UGH… I LOVE writing plot important scenes 🤞🤞🤞🤞 My ass just keeps wanting to establish shit before I head into the next interesting part (LIKE IK,,, ITS KINDA BORING BECAUSE THEYRE JUST HAVING A SMALL CONVERSATION,,,, BUT HEAR ME OUT,,,) I’m all out of lies… I just love writing soft fluff I’m sorry…

Taglist 🏷️: (Please reach out if you want to be added or removed from the taglist)

@tangledinlove

@naive-daydreamer (sorry I didn’t know if you wanted to be tagged or not so I kept you tagged!! Please tell me if otherwise!!)

@daydreamingabthar

@wordsarelife

@brain-has-left

@superiorjam

#portie writes fanfic #lockwood and co x reader #anthony lockwood x you #anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood x reader #lockwood x you

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make-me-imagine · 2 years

Text

Expectations

Plot: Y/n, pressured to do better by their over-demanding father, overworks themselves, something Tom will not allow to continue.

Request: pls i need some angst to fluff of iceman x pilot!reader, preferably with some sort of argument about one of the two spending too much time on work and overworking themselves, and the other worrying for their health. Requested By: @perseus-666

Pairing: Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky x GN!Reader - established relationship *Readers Call Sign is Nike (Mythology, not the brand lol)

Warnings: Mentions of physical and mental exhaustion.

Words: 909 - short but sweet

Tom's eyes scanned the room as disappointment slowly filled his chest. He couldn't find you anywhere. You hadn't shown up at lunch, and you barely stayed for breakfast. During class you seemed so caught up in watch the instructors were teaching you had barely spoke a work to each other.

Hearing footsteps, he turned to see Hollywood walking past. "Hey Hollywood, you seen Y/n?"

Hollywood looked back at him and smiled a bit "Nike scheduled another training course."

"Another? They've already done two."

Slider shrugged "I know, but I saw them before they got into the jet, they looked determined to go up again."

"When did they go up?"

"About ten minutes ago, they'll probably be done any minute now."

Tom nodded in thanks as he left. He thought of how you had been acting recently, he frowned to himself. You had been doing more training courses than any other student in the last week, and taking less breaks. He had barely seen you eat anything, your smile was less bright, and your laugh quieter than normal.

He had noticed this change ever since you came back from a visit with your father. He knew your father was an Admiral, highly decorated, so he knew he expected a lot from you, what had he said that made you start working so much harder? You were already doing so much better than most. What else did he expect?

Tom only worried more when you didn't show up for dinner. He went to your room but you weren't there. And he didn't see you until later in the evening when he came to your room to find you again. All the others had gone out for the evening, and you of course, had stayed behind.

Knocking twice, he held his breath as he waited for your voice from the other side. Hearing you softly call out, he let out a small breath of relief before walking in. Seeing you sitting on your bed, he immediately felt his chest tighten. You looked exhausted, and you were still in your uniform.

You smiled at him as you set down your notebook, but your smile faded when you saw the look on his face. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head softly as he looked you over "You." You frowned in confusion and he continued "You look exhausted Y/n, what are you doing to yourself?"

He saw your face change rapidly from realization, to dejection, to anger before you shook your head softly as you stood up, throwing your notebook on your desk. "I'm fine."

He scoffed a little "Clearly not, you look like you haven't slept in days, and what is this about you doing more training courses?"

"What I'm not allowed to?"

"I didn't say that, but Jesus Y/n, you're gonna kill yourself, have you even eaten today?"

"I'm not a child Tom, don't treat me like one." You spat.

Tom let out a bewildered sigh as he turned away from you momentarily, rubbing the back of his neck. Turning towards you again he took in a deep breath "I'm not trying to treat you like a child Y/n. I'm worried, you're gonna overwork yourself to the point of no return."

He saw your face fall as you looked down at your feet "You don't get it." You met his eyes and he felt his heart twist, seeing your eyes growing misty "You don't have to over work yourself, because you are already the best. Your expectations are your own, you don't have to deal with the condescending lectures and the constant 'you could do better' from your father. You don't know what it's like to be looked at like you aren't enough." Letting out a shaky sigh you sat back down on your bed.

Tom watched you in silence for a moment before he walked over to you and knelt down in front of you.

He met your eyes and shook his head softly "I'm sorry." He whispered. Reaching up, he gently wiped his thumb under your eye, wiping away a tear that had begun to fall. "You're right, I don't have to deal with any of that. But Y/n, I'm jut worried about you. I hate seeing you like this. Taring yourself apart for someone who will never appreciate you for who you are. You are in Top Gun for a reason, you are better than most at what you do. He should be proud of you, like I am. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, even him. You are more than enough. He's the one who should do better."

You smiled softly at him as you let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, you didn't deserve that. You were right I am exhausted, and hungry." You let out a soft chuckle.

Wrapping his hand around yours he brought it to his face and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. "Then how about this. I go get some food, bring it back here, and we eat together. We relax, talk, anything but work. And then you get some sleep. No arguments."

You smiled at him and nodded your head "I think I can do that."

He smiled "Good." As he began to stand up, he quickly pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Don't you dare open up that notebook while I'm gone."

You giggled softly "Yes Sir."

xx End xx

Sorry it's so short but I didn't have much for this lol

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000, @imaginesfire, @rexit-mo, @onuen, @witchygagirl, @alexxavicry

Top Gun Taglist: @malindacath, @hotch-meeeeeuppppp, @sarcastic-sourwolf, @stargirl-05, @persephonesportal,

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manias-wordcount · 1 month

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Futaba, Ann, and Makoto with a S/O who is the Phantom Thieves trump card, despite not really being the sharpest tool in the shed, their incredible physical and athletic abilities as well as bulky build make up for TREMENDOUSLY, but they can be extremely reckless and wild to the point where they don't listen to common sense or orders, like when there is a something blocking their way that is very dangerous when in physical contact they just go: "Don't matter how dangerous somethin' is if ya punch it hard enough!" and just combos the thing to pieces with a flurry of punches with a wide sharp toothed grin on their face, like their a shark in a saturday morning cartoon. And despite their large build and muscles they're sweeter than sugar.

(Plus they just wanna earn praise from the people around them and impress the girls) Pls, thank ya, and have a nice day. :)

S/o who is Dumb and Buff HCs ( Futaba Sakura, Ann Takamaki, Makoto Nijima)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗺! 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀! 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 :)

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

Futaba Sakura

She loves a lot about you

Truly she does…….but…..

Doesn’t love how she can’t hold a conversation with you about things that aren’t surface-level

That being said, she does love nicknaming you all her favorite no-brains all brawns anime and video game characters

And she probably eggs you on when you’re about to do something stupid and dangerous in the metaverse or a palace

(Much to everyone’s displeasure)

But she does know something is way too far and she’ll be the first one to frantically ask if you’re alright and scan you for injuries

She’s also going to be the first one to try to study your brain and body structure because how did you not die from doing whatever crazy thing you just did?

Truthfully, you both are a really really odd pair

But you adore each other so hey- it works

Ann Takamaki

She’s your biggest fan and biggest cheerleader

She’s definitely smarter than you but chances are, you guys are on the same wavelength most of the anyways

So you both get along very well

Especially because you always like being in her good graces and always want her attention and affectio haha

When you’re doing something dumb in the metaverse or a palace, she’s probably right behind you about to join in

Your energy and your spirit definitely gets her fired up!

She does worry about you when you’re about to take on a task it doesn’t look like a single person can handle on their own

But she knows better than to doubt you

Because for some reason you always make it out okay!

And always with a smile too!

Makoto Nijima

Polar opposites

Like it’s a miracle you two are even attracted to each other let alone a couple

But she does love you……………..BUT

You not being the smartest does

Partly because she’s definitely the type who wants to sit down and have a deep, thoughtful discussion and she can’t exactly do that with you

But mainly because you constantly get yourself into unnecessary danger and drama that she knows could be perfectly avoidable or might have a better way of solving it

Again, she loves you but something you are way more trouble for her than what’s honestly worth it

Likely story, if you don’t start learning some forethought and learn how to use your brain instead of rushing into everything, this relationship won’t last forever

But while you’re still together, carrying the hearts and hopes of the team on your back, she’ll still love, admire, and worry about you

But she’ll probably have to ask herself everyday if raising her blood pressure like this is even worth it LOL

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soma-shitposts · 1 month

Note

Hello!!!!!!!! Hope you're having a nice day!!!! I'm insane about your SOMA au, it's so nice to see an au where Simon is spared from The Horrors

Your au has so much potential and I think that's really neat, was anyone there when Simon woke up? Imagine how scary it must be if you're a pathos employee just chilling and then one of the dive suits gains sentience and starts freaking out, I'd hate to be the one to explain to him that he's not human and he's 100 years in the future

You said in one of your posts that he becomes the poster guy for robot rights, what did he do to become that popular? I'm genuinely curious about what some guy at the bottom of the ocean can do to become a major figure in what sounds like a civil rights movement

*emerges from the salt marsh covered in conference presentation abstracts and barnacles* oml I haven’t thought deeply about my beloved Paranoid Android of Pathos II AU in too long… I’m so glad that goofy little concept has been fun for you too!

1. Was anyone there when Simon woke up?

Kind of? In my head the diving suit+scanner was an abandoned pet project of Catherine’s that was quite literally shoved in a closet somewhere when other projects began to take priority. (The world isn’t ending; research is just Like That sometimes.) The closet happened to have a structure gel leak which contaminated the suit and bam! Simon is Very Confused and concerned about suddenly being in a closet. Catherine is in her office at the time, so hyper focused on her work she doesn’t really hear him come out of the closet and when he asks where he is/what’s going on she kind of assumes he’s a technician that got lost until she turns around and promptly Nopes Out. Explaining to him that he’s not human and 100 years in the future is Ross’ job (AI psychologist - that’s kind of in his job title, right?)

2. Why does Simon have international acclaim for pioneering android rights?

I’m not gonna lie that was a joke based entirely on the crack premise of him getting arrested for stealing from the on-station Panera Bread restaurant (which is entirely my own ridiculous invention for silliness purposes). I guess the reason why the world would care is because like…you arrested a robot. Does the robot’s ‘creator’ get prosecuted or does the robot? I imagine the case was dropped because it was so absurd and had never happened before but it technically set the precedent that a) AI scans are independent of their physical ‘creators’ and b) are entitled to basic rights insofar as the legal system and its proceedings.

A bit of a stretch to call it a civil rights movement since Simon is the only scan that’s ‘awake’ although I’m sure the Carthage Industries Ethics Committee is having a hell of a time figuring out if they need to stop using such scans/should they try to make more androids like Simon for profit/etc. Bad day to be in the corporate offices.

…although I reiterate that factoid was born from the joke premise of Simon stealing from Panera. A restaurant on Pathos II. At the bottom of the ocean. Because Carthage Industries has taste. So this is all a goofy crack scenario anyway lol

#soma #soma game #soma (game)#answered asks #simon jarrett #paranoid android of pathos ii #long post #I have GOT to write more of that. I do have that like opening scene/Ross attempting to prove to Simon that he’s not human all written out #tbh I think the roadblock ended up being the wiki? I wanted a few key details for something but the wiki is sooo unreliable and full of #fanon that I just got too intimidated to replay the game and catalogue every detail I would need.#I’ll have to write more but. not today lol I’ve been at a conference all week talking about bugs and fungi and wow I’m tired.#I’m gonna try and repopulate this blog’s queue I’ve been neglecting it for so long….wish me luck o7

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birchbow · 10 months

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How exactly do moirails work? I keep getting confused between what constitutes a matespiritship and moirailegence. I know that moirails are able to help sooth and calm but I feel that there is way more to moirails than just that and I’m having a hard time understanding.

Ahhh, well, this is one of those things that's really only defined in-comic in a fairly skeletal way, and the form it takes in fics is always going to be like 50% headcanon, minimum. And in my case probably more because I've been fascinated by the concept of non-sexual romance/intimacy for a long time and so I've written a LOT of pale content lol. SO here's some rambling about moiraillegiance, which I'm pre-emptively putting under a cut because I know myself.

First, a brief review. Pale-related things we get in the canon, at a quick top-of-my-head scan, are basically:

some trolls are a more emotionally unstable/violent and will find somebody who complements their personality and helps keep them from murderously flying off the handle.*

of the four quadrants of relationships trolls are expected to have, this is not a concupiscient (sexual) one** but it is a (positive emotions toward your partner) one, which Karkat and the narration frame as "pity" (see "****")

At one point, a scene that appears to be setting up for a death-match is defused by one party shh-ing the other one and patting their face until they calm down, from which fandom took 'shooshing" and 'papping' as terms, from the sound effects in those panels.***

talking about your thoughts and emotions is mentioned several times in the context of pale relationships****, and I believe at one point called a feelings jam although I don't have it in me to dig back and see if that one is canon

that is the canon stuff that occurs off the top of my head

*how much of the part where the narrative explains quadrants is biased (because of what a shitshow Alternia is) is up for debate **fandom interpretation varies on this from "having sex with your moirail is a huge taboo" to "it's totally fine, it's just not one of the quadrants the drones demand contributions for". ***And also where I (and quite a few other people I would guess) started thinking about trolls having separate, alien instincts and responses to stimuli that humans would find relatively unremarkable, like having their face patted or having somebody shush them ****Alternia aggressively punishes perceived weakness to the point that seeing another troll being vulnerable and not killing them for it is narrated as "pity" which is the closest we seem to get to an Alternian-culture concept of "love". ANYWAY that probably has a finger on the needle RE: how exclusive it is to ONLY talk to your moirail about your feelings, because they're in a relationship with you and therefore hopefully won't cull you for it.

Things that are NOT canon include: most of it lmao. If you wanted an itemized list of things in my Troll Society writing that were made up almost entirely whole cloth, we would be here all day. Moving on!

When it comes to writing pale vs flushed, I mostly go by vibes, tbh lol. I suppose if I had to organize my criteria a little bit,,, I am going to spitball. Bear with me.

Pale looks at its partner and goes "I see the things wrong with you, and instead of culling you for them, we are going to fix them" and also "the place where we both are is a place we're both steady and safe" (passive/steadying/protective),

and flush is more like. "I see the things wrong with you, and instead of culling you for them I'm suffering them with you" and also "the place where we both are is a place where we Want More" (active/passionate/aggressive I guess??? Can't find the word).

or to rephrase

pale->unpicking feelings, controlling violent impulse, steadying emotional state, physical touch to invite a sort of subspace-adjacent hazy alien-arousal-that's-not-arousal.

flush->passionate, intense, active attraction, sometimes kind of violent! sometimes too passionate for its own good! Physical touch to work each other up and drive each other higher in a positive way (hopefully) (mostly) (trolls are violent assholes tbh)

I DON'T KNOW DUDE there's no guide for this stuff lol. As evidenced above, canon basically has just like a skeleton framework, so we are all out here putting these lines down ourselves.

Making this more complicated: regardless of what the author of any given fic headcanons as the social norm, it also makes sense to me that there are variations in trolls just like in humans. I usually don't write my pale pairings fucking, but it seems reasonable and inevitable to me that some trolls would be into that! Or trolls who were attracted to concupiscient quads but didn't want to bone down, although that's dangerous and untenable for reasons mentioned in previous asks.

fig 1: Meenah and Kurloz's swinging back and forth² from the (hate+fucking) quadrant to the (love/pity+no fucking³) quadrant in PoF felt like it came naturally as I was writing, because what else are two of the oldest, most powerful trolls in the universe going to do, when each of them is the only person around who comes close to actually knowing the other enough to hate/pity?

²Switching back and forth between quadrants is actually called "vacillating" and seems to be a fairly common event in troll society and media--the blurring/combining pale and pitch that they're doing is the more scandalous part, according to general fanon ³I have always preferred to write pale relationships with a lot of the traits my culture associates with sexual relationships (nudity, intimacy, an industrial porn complex lol) but to cut the sex and leave the rest and play with that contrast. How much of that is because I'm personally not sexually attracted to people, and I'm deeply Emotions about a society recognizing that kind of relationship as crucial and desirable??? I mean idk boss y'all don't pay me for introspection lol.

ANYWAY that also means the boundaries of what any given troll defines as "too much intimacy not to be pale" or "the feelings you're talking to me about are too personal for this not to be pale" or "you're touching me in a way that seems pale (or flushed)" are going to be different, which makes this extra hard to answer. Example!!

When I write Kurloz, I write him with an old-fashioned and strict view of what quadrants entail, but also being too old and above too many laws and social norms to give much of a shit about whether he blurs those lines or not most of the time. The little nods to things like it being slutty In His Time to wear your hair short and show off the roots of your horns hopefully bring across some of the cranky old man vibes lmao.

VERSUS when I write Karkat, I'm writing a much younger guy who spends a ton of time thinking about relationships and watching romcoms, synthesizing his own very in-depth thesis of What Feelings Are--and also just coming from a much younger generation. He's not nearly as comfortable blurring the lines, but he also places those lines in very different spots than Kurloz does.

TBH follow your heart haha it's just an alien sandbox and we're all just slapping sand around.

#ask time!#Price of Forgiveness #this is a long-winded way of saying ''eh I mean have fun with it'' but hopefully there's some helpful shit in there somewhere lol

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ssa-atlas-alvez · 2 years

Text

Whumptober Day 3 (Luke Alvez x Male BAU Reader)

No. 3 A HAIR’S BREADTH FROM DEATH

Gun to Temple | “Say goodbye.” | Impaled

This is my 1,800th post lol, that’s absolutely mental, also I went all out on this one, please please please read the warnings and tags.

Also there’s aspects of it that aren’t perfect but I’m okay with that, maybe I’ll change it in the future, maybe I won’t, who knows lol

Warnings: major character death, guns, suicide, suicide attempt, Russian roulette, failed suicide, dead body (not graphic, I don’t think)

Word Count: 2034

@whumptober-archive

"Say goodbye," You motion vaguely to your mouth, duct taped shut, with as much sass as you physically could. "Ah, not you. Bad hostages don't get to say goodbye. Bad hostages don't get closure." You glare at the man as he taps your nose with a grin. "No, you don't get closure." He turned around, scanning the other hostages, eyes settling on Luke who's in front of you. "He can get closure,"

You shut your eyes, hoping that, to outsiders, it looks like your mourning not being able to say goodbye to those you love. You know you're being selfish, but you don't know if you can listen to Luke exchanging his last goodbyes with Lisa.

This unsub (name still unknown) had taken large groups of citizens hostage, hurting and threatening them, before forcing members to phone their loved ones and say goodbye before he killed them. He had done this four times already with no hostages making it out alive. You and Luke were just on a coffee run when the unsub took control of the room, it was only a small coffee shop (you had convinced Luke to support a small business, he had rolled his eyes with a small smile before agreeing), and now here you were.

The unsub drags Luke to the phone, who punches in some numbers before it begins to ring. It takes three rings for Lisa to answer.

“Hello?” You furrowed your eyebrows at the voice. That certainly wasn’t Lisa.

“Hey,” Luke voice wavered

“Luke? What’s wrong?”

“Emily, I-” Luke cut himself off, swallowing. He needed to make this sound as believable as possible. “He’s making us say goodbye,”

“Luke-”

“Just let me talk, let me talk, please,” Luke’s eyes drift from the phone to you. “I know we work together and we aren’t really supposed to have relationships at work but the second I get out of this- the second, I want to be with you. I love you, I think I have for a while, but I just, things got too messy and I couldn’t say anything, I was with Lisa, you were with Kai and it just didn’t line up. But if- when I make it through this, you and I? We’re going to make up for lost time.”

At the police station, Emily’s eyes flicked up to Rossi, “We’re going to be together, you’re going to get out of this,” She hoped Luke would get the message. We’re coming for you.

Garcia’s heart ached as she and the rest of the team watched over CCTV. The situation was not good to say the least. They watch as Luke confessed his love to you through Emily, they watched the emotions fly through your eyes despite your best efforts to mask them. They saw your hands trembling slightly in front of you as you listened, as Luke’s eyes filled with tears, hands twitching towards you. All he wanted to do was embrace you, love you, be with you.

“I love you, so much, so much it physically hurts, but in the best way possible,” Luke said, only breaking eye contact to take a breath. “I’m a better person for knowing you, even if we don’t get the chance to be with each other, I’m a better person for loving you,”

Your sob was muffled by the tape covering your lips, but your shoulders still shook, the tears still trickled down your cheeks, sliding past the tape and under your chin. He loved you too. All this time, all those years could have been spent together. All this time wasted dancing around each other when you could have been together. Perhaps you would live together by now, engaged? Married? Thinking about kids? You’ve always known you wanted kids. You let yourself imagine having kids with Luke, him chasing them around the garden, the kids and Luke in a fit of giggles while you hold a hot cup of coffee close to your chest.

“And I’m so sorry that we may never become an ‘us’,” Luke added gently.

The unsub’s smirking, until he sees your shoulders shaking with silent sobs. He presses his gun to Luke’s temple. “You’re not talking to her, are you?” He spits.

Luke doesn’t answer until the unsub pushes the barrel of the gun harder into his temple. “No,”

“You’re speaking to him, aren’t you?” He says, using his other hand to point at you.

“Yes,”

The man gives a laugh before turning to you, gun still against Luke’s head. “You, get up,” When you don’t move, he shoves the gun harder against Luke’s head, “Get up!”

You scramble up the best you can with your hands tied. “You too Luke,” The unsub’s hands are clenched around Luke’s shirt collar, “You, not-Luke, in front, come on.” You stand in front of Luke, “Good, now, you’re going to lead the way, try anything, I put a bullet through lover-boy’s head.” You nod sharply.

You follow the unsub’s directions, it leads you down into the basement, under a drain and into the drain systems. You do as he says, not finding a safe opportunity to try and disarm him, not whilst his gun is flush up against Luke’s skin. There’s not even a chance to disarm him when he climbs up the ladder. He’s quick to put the cover back on. You look around, you appear to be in an abandoned warehouse. He forces you and Luke both on the ground, kneeling against the concrete floor, opposite each other but still relatively close.

When the unsub takes the duct tape from your mouth, the first words that come out are aimed at Luke, an urgent ‘I love you too’, he smiles and nods with a quiet ‘I know’ and you find yourself smiling.

The unsub, disgusted by this, doesn’t waste any more time. He tips the bullets out of the gun, placing one back into it’s rightful place in the chamber before pocketing the rest - the two of you too caught up in the moment to notice - he spins the chamber before shoving it into its position. He aims the gun and pulls the trigger.

The team back at the station split up, getting in their cars, speeding to the location Garcia sent them - she was able to narrow down which tunnel he would take based on the profile. Emily, Rossi, and Tara get there first, Matt, Spencer, and JJ pulling up a second later. Emily orders Matt and Tara to head round back, the rest of them are going through the front. There’s the familiar sound of a gunshot and the team starts running.

There’s a loud bang and something warm splatters against your cheek. You watch as a small strip of blood rolls down Luke’s temple before his body collapses to the ground, lifeless, eyes already beginning to gloss over.

You don’t realise you're screaming until the unsub’s hand clamps over your mouth. You struggle against him. Luke. You needed to get to Luke. You shout, bite, everything you can think of. Eventually, he decides it’s not worth it and he stops, turns and runs. Leaving you alone with Luke. Sobbing, you scramble to your left, grabbing a piece of glass from the floor, frantically cutting at the rope on your hands - not caring as you accidentally scrape the glass across your skin. “Luke? Luke, hang on!” When the rope’s off your wrists, now a bundle on the floor, you scan the room, spotting the phone you dial Garcia’s number, it being the only one you have memorised (other than Luke’s). Garcia answers, patching you through to everyone as she’s tracking your phone. You drop the phone, no longer caring about them on the other side - help was on the way, now you needed to be with Luke.

You crouch beside him, hands hovering for a moment before pulling him up and into your lap, his back flush against your chest, his head lolls to the side, lifeless. You press your forehead in the crook of his neck. “Luke?” The silence makes you whimper, “Luke please,” Your hands clench the fabric of his t-shirt tightly, you sniff, “Please?” You clutch him tighter to your chest, a sob wracking through your body. “I love you too,” You cry, “So much, so please don’t leave me,”

In the silence, you open your eyes. You spot the gun, not too far from where you’re sat. You could join him. You could finally be with him, after all this time. You’re moving slowly, sluggish. It’s heavy and cold in your hands, sending pins and needles up your hand, of anticipation? Anxiety? Grief? You’re not sure. You draw in a deep breath as you close your eyes as you lift the gun to your temple, waiting for the courage. A tear slips past your eyelashes, you draw in one final breath. You’re ready. You nod to yourself, keeping your eyes closed as you begin to pull the trigger.

“(Y/N), no!”

There’s a click and you’re ready. But nothing happens, your face falls and your eyes snap open, no. No, no, no, no, no, please no. You open the chamber and there’s nothing there. “Fuck!” You growl, you look up, locking eyes with Emily, “It’s empty, there’s nothing there!”

“(Y/N), we need you to give me the gun,” Emily’s voice is level but you shake your head.

“No,” Your answer is immediate, “No, he- and I-”

You don’t process Spencer running towards Luke, checking his pulse with JJ, before he looks up at her and shakes his head. You don’t see Rossi and edging closer to Emily. You don’t hear Matt and Tara walking up behind you.

“I know,” Emily answers softly. “I know, but I need you to give me the gun,”

“There’s nothing in it!” You yell, “It’s fucking empty!” You throw it, following it with your glare. And it lands, a foot from Luke’s body. Luke. You’re about to run to him when you see Emily give a small nod and Matt’s arms wrap tightly around, pulling you close to him. “Get off!”

“(Y/N), it’s okay, it’s me,”

“Get off me!” Your breaths coming in pants as you try to manoeuvre your way out of the hold, all you want is Luke. You want to be with Luke. Why can’t you be with Luke? A sob leaves your lips, “Luke?!” Part of you expects him to sit up, joke about having a headache, for him to glide over to you and gently envelop you in his embrace. Your frantic eyes meet Emily’s, filled with tears. “I need- I need to be with him, please-”

Rossi comes into your view, tears trekking down his cheeks, but his voice is even, “Kid, I need you to listen to me,” Your eyes meet his, a sense of comfort rushes over you. “I need you to take some deep breaths with me, okay?” You nod frantically, wanting him to know you’ll try, you will. “Okay, breathe with me,”

You follow his breathing, in for four, hold, out for four. Your breath hitches for a moment, before his voice calmly guides you through it. Five minutes pass and they’re no longer worried you’re an immediate threat to yourself, Matt’s arms are gone and you miss the comfort. They were helping ground you. You turn to him, chin wobbling as you remember and he understands and gently wraps his arms around you. Emily and Dave send him a look and he sighs before turning his attention back to you. “I’m going to need to put these on, just as a precaution,”

You nod, what else could you do? With the handcuffs in place (in front of you), Matt places an arm around your shoulders, you bury your head into his shoulders. He rubs his hand in circles in the centre of your back, “Let’s go,” He says softly.

Shaking your head you whisper, “I can’t see him like that again,” The image flashes past your eyes, body, lifeless, pool of blood. You shudder, hands gripping Matt’s shirt as you try and push the image from your mind.

“That’s okay,” Matt answers, “We’re going out the way I came in,”

“Okay.”

“We’ll get you through this, (Y/N), I promise.”

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itookyoudown · 7 months

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A second from "killing strangers":

He don’t mind it so much when the boys die in the end, but he minds when they hurt at the wrong time. Raylan doesn’t like it when Boyd hurts them before it’s time to get the knives out.

"Shh," Boyd says. Still gently put and softly spoken. "You hush now, it's okay. There we are. There's my good boy."

The boy ain't the only one being shushed now.

Tim slumps in Boyd's hold. He stops moving. The boy runs out of air and slips off into unconsciousness. That is their cue to move. Raylan pops open the trunk of the car and Boyd packs Tim inside it. He plays lookout, eyes scanning every corner of the parking lot as Boyd gets the rope to tie Tim’s hands and ankles. When the work is done, Boyd slams the trunk shut and turns to Raylan. He smiles with his teeth. It’s so big it takes up his whole face.

“Let’s go home, baby.”

He don’t mind it so much when the boys die in the end, but he minds when they hurt at the wrong time. Raylan doesn’t like it when Boyd hurts them before it’s time to get the knives out.

Raylan's not a sadist in this. Or not one on the same level that Boyd is. Raylan has no qualms about killing their victims, but I liked to play with the idea that even this very dark version of Raylan still hangs onto a sliver of "twisted heroism" and is sensitive/ sympathetic to the suffering of someone who's well and alive.

I made it an ode back to his own abusive background and that's why there's a childishness and coyness in the phrasing (hurting at the "wrong" time AKA hurting someone without immediate killing intent).

He's fine with murder, but not with torture. Hurt that has a purpose/is a means to an end is fine, but violence just for violence isn't acceptable. Not in Raylan's fucked up moral viewpoint.

"Shh," Boyd says. Still gently put and softly spoken. "You hush now, it's okay. There we are. There's my good boy." The boy ain't the only one being shushed now.

This was just an early nod to the fact that I wanted to show Boyd's emotional control over Raylan and how he has mastery in comforting/pacifying Raylan's temper. He knows how to cajole Raylan. It's one reason why they've worked so well as a team.

This was also meant to be a very early compare/contrast of power dynamics that I intend to explore in the story. Boyd having emotional control over Raylan but having only physical control over Tim -- that's a theme that'll continue on.

Tim's not dead just went to sleep!!

This was also meant to be another nod to Boyd and Raylan's teamwork. That in the moment they're such a well-oiled machine that they can switch roles. Now Boyd is the one actively taking "care" of Tim while Raylan plays lookout and waits for Boyd to do his job.

And of course that specific ending line was chosen because I wanted a tidy end to the chapter while also leaving myself a good opening point for the next one ... Boyd and Raylan taking Tim to their kill site.

This is definitely a fic I have every intention of coming back to in the future and finishing. But with the indulgent pitch-dark themes and vibes, it's one I have to have a certain inspiration to write. I should rewatch Hannibal to trigger those feelings lol.

(author commentary ask game)

#tooks.txt #justie author commentary #boyd/raylan/tim #crowgivenson

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unmitigatedsuperiority · 1 year

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Hi! Congrats on finishing your multi-chaptered fic!! For promptober may I ask for post-prison ralvez angst? Thank you! ❤️

hello!! thank you for the prompt i was SO pumped when i got it. hope this scratches the itch for ralvez angst plus it's technically a one shot bc it's 2k words lol

PROMPTOBER REQUEST #4

Pairing: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid Category: Angst Warnings: Depression/Anxiety/PTSD

Throughout history, many societies used significant events as a way to track time. One specific moment to build their calendars against.

For the majority of Christian Europe, the birth of Jesus marked that significant event. It was also a way to get away from previous methods of dating—such as Romans counting from the founding of the city of Rome. This gave us what we know now as B.C. and A.D.

For Spencer, the birth of Jesus wasn’t his year zero. While it was undeniably a significant year for humanity, it didn’t have quite the impact the year 2017 had on him. No, for Spencer, his time wasn’t about that. It wasn’t before and after Christ. It was before and after prison.

Before Prison, Spencer Reid knew exactly who he was. He was former boy wonder, now adult genius. IQ of 187. Seasoned criminal profiler. Addict, several years in recovery. Avid reader with a speed of 20,000 words per minute. Bisexual. He knew all these things about himself. He also knew he was seriously, deeply crushing on Luke Alvez.

Ever since Luke’s first day on the job—no handshakes, your reputation precedes you—Spencer had been drawn to the man. Like a compass needle pointing toward true north. He found himself gravitating toward Luke, and he could’ve sworn Luke had been doing the same. Now he knew that he had been. Doing the same.

It all happened days before Mexico. Maybe even a week before. It seemed like a lifetime ago now. But Luke and Spencer had stayed late after work and got to talking which eventually transitioned into a late-night dinner and an almost kiss and…

And then Mexico. Cat. Prison.

After Prison, Spencer couldn’t keep things right in his head. He was traumatized, he knew that. But that didn’t make living like this any easier. Was he still the adult genius if it took him so much longer to connect the dots? Could he still boast his reading speed when now he often found himself having to scan the same paragraphs over and over for that comparable level of comprehension? Could he still consider himself to be crushing on Luke Alvez if the concept of letting the man in now terrified him to his core?

Luke was the one to bring Spencer home that first night back from prison. The first one to learn about the nightmares that haunted him. The things he had to do to survive. And that wasn’t even everything. Spencer’s chest felt achingly hollow when he thought about having to tell Luke about everything he’s done. Even just him seeing what he did to Cat…

It was too much.

It was though he had been pushed past the point of overstimulation and into this empty numbness. And, yes, he still felt fear. He still felt anger. But mostly, he felt nothing. Nothing at all.

And on nights where Luke would offer to spend the night—on the couch because he had always been such a gentleman—on nights where Spencer could see his fingers twitch to reach out and provide some kind of physical comfort…well. He knew things couldn’t go back to the way things were Before Prison. This was After Prison. After Spencer had been charged with murder and assaulted and watched people die and witnessed so many horrible, terrible things that were all his fault, he knew he couldn’t bring Luke into the mess he’d made. Luke was offering a shoulder to lean on, a safe space. And for that? Spencer was grateful. But it couldn’t be any more than that. He wouldn’t let it. Even if he would see the way Luke would watch him, fondness and sincerity in his gaze. A simple hand on the shoulder that lingered far longer than the standard acceptable time for friends. Spencer wouldn’t take it any further. Because things were different now. He was different. And Luke deserved better.

Tonight was one of those nights. Luke had taken it upon himself to show up at his apartment right at sunset. Spencer didn’t have to say anything—Luke knew that nighttime was the worst. From the nightmares to the cravings, being alone certainly wasn’t helpful. It was basically a daily occurrence at this point. Having Luke over. It made Spencer feel better and worse all at the same time. He eyed the man in his doorway now.

“I figured we could watch that documentary you talked about that night we got dinner after work?” Luke lilted his voice at the end, transforming the statement into a question. Like he had a solid plan and then second guessed himself at the last second. Spencer let him in, motioning through the hallway before shutting and locking the door behind them both.

“I remember that,” he said. In After Prison times, Spencer was grateful to remember so many trivial things. His memory wasn’t what it used to be, and he found himself celebrating the small victories: He remembered. It was Luke’s idea in the first place to celebrate the little wins, even if part of himself laments the fact that this is what it’s come to. Gratitude for feats that used to be nothing for him. “That sounds good to me.” Luke gave a small smile at this, and Spencer felt that same feeling in his chest again. Like someone had scooped out everything behind his ribs, leaving a hollow space behind.

The documentary had been interesting enough to keep Spencer’s attention, and Luke didn’t seem to mind watching it. Though that was what Spencer liked so much about the man in the first place—how intent he was to just listen, even if Spencer was rambling for minutes on end. It would never be boring to Luke.

If Spencer were better, he would put Luke’s listening skills to use and tell him everything he was feeling. Everything that went down in prison. But he couldn’t handle Luke having to see him in a different light. Who he was back in prison, who he is now? That’s not the same man Luke showed interest in all those months ago. Spencer was different now, and he couldn’t risk him not liking what he saw. No, this in-between state they were in, Luke a comforting friend and nothing more, that was how it should be.

Interrupting his thoughts was Luke resting his arm behind the couch, not quite touching his shoulders. Spencer wanted to lean back. But he also wanted to lean away. Everything felt too…open. Too vulnerable. Exposed. He chose the second option, noting the way Luke’s expression deflated just the slightest bit. Spencer sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

Luke looked over at him, confused. “Why are you sorry?”

Spencer rested his elbows on his knees, scrubbed at his face with his hands before running them through his hair. “I’m sorry I’m…like this.”

“Like what?” Luke was prodding, but it was gentle enough. He always knew what to ask and how to ask it. It drove Spencer mad.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I just know this isn’t what you signed up for.” He let his words stop there. They’d hadn’t been much of anything Before Prison. Definitely something. But they never really talked about what it was. It was hard to have that conversation when days later he was behind bars and suddenly the what are we conversation didn’t feel quite as important. And maybe it was good they never got to have that conversation. Because the guilt wasn’t quite so crushing now.

“I signed up for you,” Luke reassured him.

“You didn’t sign up for this, though.”

“What—this or,” he waved between the two of them. “this?” Spencer licked his lips as he turned away. He couldn’t bear having this conversation right now. Right now, he was held together with tape and glue and if he opened himself up, really opened himself up…

He’d fall apart.

“…the second one,” Spencer finally spoke. Luke blew out some air.

“Huh.” Luke furrowed his brow, and something about the kindness, the care in his tone, made Spencer’s skin crawl. He was so understanding, but that was a dangerous line. And what they’re doing…the dinner and the movie, the countless nights spent together? Was only bound to end in flames. Spencer took a breath.

“I know you want to come here and comfort me and do all the things that boyfriends do, but you’re not my boyfriend, Luke. I never asked you to be.”

Luke reached out to him, but Spencer didn’t move. “Hey, I just want to help. I want you to feel safe, and maybe it’s selfish but I feel better being here with you. Knowing that you’re okay.”

“You’re right, maybe that is selfish,” Spencer rebutted. Luke’s jaw twitched and Spencer felt his heart drop to his knees. He couldn’t take it back though. Couldn’t risk what would happen if he apologized and Luke forgave him. This wasn’t Before Prison times, anymore. Things were different. He was different. But Luke wasn’t getting that.

“Do you want me to leave?” He asked, soft, like he didn’t want to know the answer. And for a moment, Spencer didn’t want to give him one. Let them float in this limbo for a while longer.

No. “Yes.”

Luke nodded, disappointed in a way that made Spencer want to reach out, grab onto the man and never let go. But he stayed put. Luke got up and walked towards the door, the action sending a sudden chill through Spencer’s core.

He paused. “I know you’ve been through a lot,” he started. Spencer scoffed. Luke propelled forward. “Trust me, I was there. Maybe not there with you…I will never be able to understand what it was you went through. But I spent every day trying to get you out. Every day worrying, hoping, hell praying even, that you were safe. And you still got hurt. I—” He shook his head, collected himself. Spencer pushed himself up off the couch but didn’t come any closer. “I thank God every day that you’re okay. I didn’t even know if I believed in God, but I still thank Him every day that you’re…here. Even if you don’t feel okay. You’re here. You’re safe. I’m making sure of it. So, you want to push me away? Go ahead. But I’m going to keep coming back. I’ll be here tomorrow to keep you company and make sure you’re still safe. And I’ll be back again the next day. And the next day.” He shrugged on his jacket and opened the door before turning to face Spencer again. “You’re well within your right to do what feels best for you, set boundaries, move at your own pace. But you can’t shut everyone out. It’s not healthy and you know it.”

“Luke—”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Spencer.” Luke smiled, a sad thing, before slipping out, shutting the door behind him. And Spencer was alone.

He hadn’t spent a single night alone since he’d come back. Even if it was just a phone call to Luke in the middle of the night. He’d never felt this sense of isolation. Not since he was in prison. The thought pained him, spread through his body like poison, a cold feeling swallowing him whole. He didn’t know how to spend a night like that. Feeling…this terrible loneliness, this numbness. The pain and regret and guilt just lingering below the surface. No distractions.

Spencer itched for something to do. He still knew the number for his dealer by heart—something his eidetic memory would unfortunately never forget. But he thought of Luke’s promise. He’d be back. And the disappointment, the sadness on Luke’s face if he found out years of sobriety were down the drain…no. Spencer couldn’t do it.

Luke would be back. He had to be. Spencer would just have to make it through the night to see it. So, he would. Even if Luke never showed up again, he had to prove to himself that he could do it. That he could live in the After without someone to lean on. He didn’t need him.

Spencer walked to his room, dissociated, and laid down on top of the covers. It was just one night. He could do this.

He had to.

taglist: @ropoto @reidselle @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reidsbookclub @mikaylafairy @honeydjarin

masterlist | join my taglist

#criminal minds #spencer reid angst #spencer reid #ralvez #luke alvez x spencer reid #luke alvez #ralvez angst #ralvez fic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds blurb #spencer reid fanfiction #asks #rj's promptober

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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year

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Hello! Can i request for a dating James lee/ DG hc?

Like the reader is big fangirl of james since their highschool years, she just adores whatever he does and literally believes he can do no wrong (she does stop him from doing what she thinks is not good for him or his future)

The reader isn't a fighter but more like Eugene, a better eugene who brings strong allies on her side but they alliance isn't forced and she isn't black mailing anyone unless they are DG/James's enemy

James has also being whipped for the reader since the beginning without her figuring out, she just thought she was too annoying and clingy for anyone to like so she never even approached James once. She knew what he was doing and even helped him alot, so James was the one to approach her first as James lee and helped her by boosting her confidence and took care of people responsible for this, (whenever they appeared)

James doesn't come between when someone insults the reader unless it is a physical fight.

[Sorry if its too much! Please delete this if you don't feel comfortable! Do not take any pressure from this]

Not at all - and thanks for the ask! I've never really thought much of DG lol. I described him as a plain wet noodle of a man here lol... But this actually popped some ideas in my head?!

ngl, found this difficult and hard to make him in character. Not sure I succeeded. Here's a little scenario for you... Uh, enjoy?

DG x Reader: Daniel Park

Pre-PTJ Entertainment Arc. You have some concerns

"What about Daniel Park?" James lounges on the chair in front of you, his body poised as if waiting for a photographer.

You try to suppress a snort at his posing. He has wholly embraced the persona of DG, the K-Pop idol. No matter how much he has changed, you still remember him as your delinquent James Lee. The same boy that would scribble immature notes to you in class and protect you from assholes. "I've got a bad feeling about him," your eyes continue scanning the screen as you scroll through documents and intel. There was surprisingly little on this Daniel Park. And he lives with someone else called Daniel Park? Something seems off.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I can't pinpoint it. I just think there's something going on."

Forever trusting your instinct and advice, James nods. "Sure. I'll keep an eye on him."

"You should keep him on side... just in case. Keep him sweet."

"Like how I keep you sweet?"

You look up from your files to see James with a teasing smirk on his lips but undeniable fondness in his eyes. He steals a kiss.

Whether he is James Lee or Diego Kang, you can't deny how well he takes care of you. He has always been aloof and arrogant, but you are his one soft spot he keeps shielded from the world.

He has defended you ever since you were in school together, and safeguarded you even as he ascended to fame and fortune as DG. But you know, and he knows, you are his absolute confidant. You know all his secrets and he knows yours.

You pull away giggling and ruffling his ridiculous pink hair, "You should definitely only do that with me."

"Hmm. Guess I'll have to think of other ways... Speaking of keeping you sweet-" Your ears perk at his sudden change in tone, "-I heard there might be a spot opening up for the CEO of PTJ Entertainment... and a No.2."

"What?! Really?"

"Yeah, I heard Charles Choi is looking to make some moves soon. So what do you think, I become CEO and you join me?"

You see the same light in his eyes as you did back then."You wouldn't mind working with me everyday?"

"Nope."

"And seeing me around all day everyday?"

"Nope"

He really does keep you sweet.

#im sorry i really dont know what to do with him #lack of creativity strikes again #lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #lookism x reader #lookism fanfics #lookism fic #diego kang #kang dagyum #dg x reader #lookism dg #lookism headcanons #lookism hc #wannaeatramyeon

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whentherewerebicycles · 5 months

Text

I am soooooo sleepy still but god I feel so much better physically and emotionally. the swelling isn’t totally gone but it’s not as noticeable and it doesn’t hurt anymore so massive improvement over the last couple days. I have a feeling the anxiety will come creeping back in as it always does but I’m going to try to really savor the post-healthy scan reprieve and I hope that the next time it surges I’ll be better equipped to handle it (more data, therapy, etc).

I also feel better having gotten through that workshop! there was a small group of boys in the back who talked through the entire thing—I was kinda shocked the prof whose class I was visiting didn’t say anything to them?—so I had to do a lot more classroom management than you typically have to do in a college class, but idk when I sat down with them in small groups and facilitated the activity they did a decent job with it. the other two groups (all girls lol) were super engaged and had a great discussion. so whatever lol. I get the sense that students here are very used to being talked at and then when they do small group activities some of them view that as like, well the teaching has stopped so I can do whatever I want now as this obviously doesn’t matter. but it was fun to think on the drive home about how I would tackle that challenge if I was their long-term prof. I think in my past classes we tend to do a lot of activities upfront that are tied to content but are really geared towards teaching students how to be in this type of class (where there’s only brief bursts of lecturing and most of the actual work is hands-on or student-led in their groups). so then you get practice and you learn the expectations and hopefully also you get to experience how much more engaging/useful it is to learn that way so there’s more buy-in from the group as a whole. anyway much to think about. I hope they let me teach soon!!!!!

okay. I have two workshops left this week but only one of them requires more prep (and even that one won’t be too bad—I just gotta find a bunch of specific examples and add a few more slides). today is a campus day but it’s a super easy one. here goes:

6:30-8 can do some mindless scrolling but also brainstorm for slides, answer faculty emails, etc.

8-9 shower/get ready

9ish leave for work… I will let myself buy a nice coffee and a breakfast burrito again if I want. I am giving myself lots of little treats this week as it has been a kinda rough one lol.

10-11 CJ mtg

11-11:30 brainstorm troika problem (I think use the DS program/summer programs issue)

11:30-12:30 lunch with KA

1-2 faculty mtg

2-3 team mtg (troika)

3ish drive home so I can walk the dogs before it gets dark maybe?

3:30-4:30 take an actual long walk with the dogs these poor creatures have been trapped inside for days.

watch hockey game but remember therapist is calling at 6 to schedule. maybe put the game on the TV and then try to finish slides on my laptop while watching

6:30-9:30 choir

collapse into bed zzzzzz these “late nights” on thursdays kill me lol I need to be tucked into bed by 7 these days

#soooooooooooo close to the weekend #and then SOOOOOOOO close to thanksgiving break!!!!!!#daily processing

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squirrelkiln-art · 1 year

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Unearthed Revision - Chapter 1 Notes

If you haven’t read Chapter 1 of the Unearthed Revision, read it here! This post is gonna have some behind the scenes details and minor spoilers for the chapter it’s about.

Since this is the first chapter behind-the-scenes post, I’ll explain the premise. These posts will have a link to the chapter/s they’re talking about, a quick note by me, and after a ‘read more’ will have my thoughts on things. (I usually have more to say than I feel appropriate putting in AO3 notes so I’m using this.) Later chapters will have more visuals in the way of art and concept work. The first few, however, will be all or majorly text. Anyway, onto the post.

Oh boy, the start of the adventure! I’ve read this chapter so many times it actually bores me, in both the old version and the revision. Still, I like how I revised it from the original. For now, here’s some notes I took or remembered while doing this. They’re pretty rambly, but if you’ve read Unearthed you’ll be used to me doing that anyway! I’m aware I’m more excited about these notes than others but it’s nice putting them out there.

Minor spoilers ahead!

This chapter was stuck in my drafts upon its initial writing years ago because I struggle so much with titles I couldn’t even think of the proper name for Unearthed. And to think I wanna give them chapter names now. Ha! We’ll see.

For some reason the talk of the stakeout business at the start of the chapter really messed with my sense of timing in this fic. It still does, actually, and I have a written timeline because of it.) I’ll probably share that in a future post once I neaten it up a bit.) Though the entirety of Unearthed takes place over the course of only a few days, I like making timelines for multi-chapter fics.

Ben's stimming when he’s anxious (clawing at his arms, pulling his hair and clothes) is a reference to what I do, or rather did, when I was majorly struggling with my health. It's not stated in the fic itself but my version of Ben is often based on myself via projecting, including my autism and ADHD. I’m the author I say what disorders my protagonist has! (/lh)

Even in the first chapter, Rook’s improvement between versions is practically tangible. In the Old fic, he brushed Ben off because he was impatient and didn't really take Ben seriously. Here, he does acknowledge and validate Ben’s concerns, but only denies them because he believes that they're still unlikely. As a result, he insists Ben gets sleep for his own wellbeing and not to get rid of him.

“The human curled around his spare pillow and clutched it for some sort of comfort, a life raft in the raging black ocean of his furiously beating heart." Theatre/musical kids might recognize some of this line. It’s a reference to the song Lifeboat from the Heather’s musical (TW for that song) thanks to my working on that musical in school, around the time I wrote this fic. This song got stuck in my head SO much during revisions lol.

"...And, fortunately, he didn’t find himself trying to hero in his sleep again…" This is a simple callback to an OS episode, Midnight Madness!

"...His eyes scanned the various squares of paper from top to bottom–dancing groups, physical therapy, an advert for a lost Galvan Organization table, a single card from a trading card game..." This line about the trading card is a small, admittedly silly reference to the Yu-Gi-Oh! GX abridged series by ShadyVox. These abridged YGO series shaped my sense of humor growing up more than I’d like to admit.

"He could recognize it as something he had unfortunately felt nearly every day since he was ten years old. It was fear." This line was more for the emotional impact overall, but is a sight reference to the game OFF. The line it’s referencing goes, “He has your eyes... They are full of fear.”

For the first couple chapters I plan on posting their BTS Notes today and editing the AO3 chapters themselves to include a link to their respective Tumblr post. Anyways, thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far. I hope you can enjoy the rest of the Unearthed Revision as well as the notes I leave behind.

#Shut up Sky #Unearthed Behind The Scenes

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