#They're still very much like themselves

[camilleflyingrotten]

There's a universe where Aziraphale was the one who fell because he thought the suggestions box was a great idea and Lucifer encouraged him doing so... Angel!Crowley, seeing the cherub's fall, decided to never question God (at least not in front of her)

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #demon!aziraphale #angel!crowley #reverse roles #They're still very much like themselves #demon!Aziraphale is kind and thoughtful and sucks at demoning #he has a passion for demonic books tho #angel!crowley is chaotic af #and Ofc they put fear of God in everythg they own bc it’s funny #digital art #my art

[bonefall]

I personally like Thunder's prosthetic. Explained it to my friend (who does use a mobility device, a cane and wheelchair, and listens to me rant and infodump about BB) and they agreed, it's important to know that not every person needs what someone wants to give them. It's another example of "bad ableist person does a thing that hurts a disabled person because they are bad and ableist".

Clear Sky got Jagged Peak killed and would have killed Sunlit Frost! He would absolutely force his disabled son to be "normal" and present it like a privilege. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else, it's special, why don't you want to be helped?"

Thunder Storm should toss it in Clear Sky's face. (I would say toss it into the river but we do not pollute waterways in this house)

Thank you for telling me this, and tell your friend I'm thanking them too! If they have anything else to add please forward what they have to say

Since BB!DOTC tackles some of the heaviest topics in the entire series because its canon equivalent is so dark, I think very carefully about what I do here and how I show it. I take feedback on its sensitive aspects very seriously. If I'm understanding the criticism properly, it's that I should avoid stigmatizing prosthetics by making sure Thunder Storm's not the only one with it-- which he's not! And I'll add even more.

I don't want to avoid something only because it's uncomfortable if the topic is important, and my portrayal is respectful. Ableism IS uncomfortable! There are some situations where a prosthetic is not wanted! I think the rejection of this particular one is both a good opportunity to show a type of ableism and ALSO is very fitting for the characters.

In BB!Clear Sky's mind, the villain, he's fixing an old mistake. He can't admit that he got Jagged Peak killed or take REAL accountability for it (though he will, occasionally, apologize insincerely), but deep in his bones, he knows what he did was cruel. He'll never tell anyone this because he doesn't really cognate it himself, but Thunder Storm NEEDS to take his gift.

If Thunder doesn't take it, it blows a hole in his newest story. You see, throwing Jagged Peak out was All That Could Have Been Done back then. It was a Tragedy and he simply Made A Hard Choice. He regrets it very much, But You Have To Understand.

But now? Now? Well, behold. Look at what he's accomplished since the tragic death of his little brother. His cats are well-fed, cared for, and stable enough to make such incredible advancements. If only Jagged Peak had been able to hold on longer, if only he could be here now, I could fix him.

Just like I can (MAKE YOU JUST LIKE ME) fix you.

"Everything I've ever done is for Jagged Peak. For Fluttering Wing. For you." Thunder Sky is SPECIAL, but if he rejects any gift, tries to turn down the "privileges" offered to him, in an instant that becomes ungratefulness and arrogance. He both forces him to be special, and then leverages it against him if it's rejected. "Spoiled brat, doesn't appreciate what I've worked so hard to give him."

It all goes back to him and his own guilt. He can NEVER be wrong. He can't accept his family doesn't have to be "normal" or reflect his own ability. He won't see himself as a bully, let alone a murderer. It was never about his son's comfort or finding out what Thunder Storm wants or needs, it was about his own ego.

...All that said I'm still taking feedback if there's anything else I should keep in mind, or if anyone has a counter point, especially if you also have experience here.

(In the interest of having a link trail for posterity, here's the critique/call for feedback this is in response to)

#ALSO also I will take suggestions on other characters who should have prosthetics #Sunlit makes sense and it will make a really nice character moment later for him to have one built #There's also an amputee in RiverClan few people talk about called Stonestream #I can give him one and bump him up into a bigger character. In BB he is the sibling of Willowshine #BB!DOTC #better bones au #Also just as a side note... I love writing BB!Skystar. My ire for the character comes from his redemption arc so I feel like I get to-- #--write the character I WANTED to see #Same with Bramble in other BB arcs #cw ableism #tw ableism #ableism #They're fascinating in that they always have to see themselves as the victim or the hero #They believe every lie they tell. #If you ever catch them in a contradiction they will still try to find some way to turn it on you and YOUR lack of understanding. #Interestingly both of them are ableist. Sky's is just more obvious because he's LOUDLY bigoted. #But BB!Bramble is *notably* less close to Jay for a very sad and very subtle reason. #Jay just doesn't serve his ego like the others do until much later in his life. #unfortunately most bigotry is like that. #the type you have a hard time calling out because it's a deniable bias. the constant gaslighting of being part of a marginalized group #Maybe I need to address the criticism by adding a character with a prosthetic to THIS arc even earlier #Problem is that like... Thunder's small merc group is already full of disabled characters and their THING is forming in response to ableism #OH maybe I'll put someone in the Forest Cat group which is lead by Slash? #I need to finish that last book and then gather up all the cats for sorting into allegiances

[saints-who-never-existed]

Y'all ever think about Goodsir, Fitzjames, and Blanky?

Y'all ever think about those three characters in a show about every kind of consumption under the sun - physical, mental, emotional consumption, being eaten up by the landscape, by your own demons, by your fellow man. Those characters who don't resist it in the end?

Who die, in fact, with the express intention of being consumed?

I think about them. Not coherently, but I think about them.

#The Terror #The Terror AMC #No coherence only vibes tonight #Harry Goodsir #James Fitzjames #Thomas Blanky #There are a lot of little contrasts in how they do so too #Fitzjames dies with the intention of saving the lives of others by allowing them to consume him #Goodsir dies with the intention of taking the lives of others by allowing them to consume him #Whereas Blanky's a little bit of both - he intends to try to take Tuunbaq's life in order to save his fellow men #Fitzjames and Blanky allow themselves to be consumed when they know they're dying anyway #Goodsir is dying too of course but he specifically takes his own life first in order to be consumed #I feel like there are very much themes of identity and self-actualisation at play too #There's still a lot to unpack #Observations #Random Observations #Meta

[yesokayiknow]

everyone’s always like aw man sorry that you brought your friend back to life and she came back wrong and twelve’s like >:| bc clara’s exactly the same as she always was

#doctor who #the doctor #twelve #clara oswald #tho i do think it'd be super cool if she did in fact Come Back Wrong #like beyond the obvious fucked up mental trauma n shit #imagine like. like being so Wrong that even normal humans call tell #like if you look at her too long you might start to notice that her chest isn't rising and falling. that she doesn't blink #her pupils don't react to light #when she smiles her mouth is just a little too wide. teeth just a little too sharp #there is a reason the time lords didn't just do this with all their dead and it didn't have anything to do with the harm it caused to time #but because in doing this you create something. something Not Right. something Not Meant To Be Seen #(the worst part of course is that it is still very much that person. they're very much still themselves #very much aware of how Wrong They Are) #not to eldritch post on a shitpost again 😔

[alexcabotgf]

not to be true crime posting on main but i think i'm falling down the wm3 rabbit hole again

#xenia.txt #when i tell you this case keeps me up at night to this day #not even the murders themselves as much as the general public's reception to and opinions on the case 3 decades later like #i get why it;s always been so divisive especially after the pl docus came out (lots of opinions on those btw none of them are good #from the bottom of my heart fuck you joe berlinger and bruce sinofsky) #but it's truly baffling how no one is willing to do the research on what is arguably THE most well documented true crime case in recent #history like. everything that's ever been released to the general public is available online and i mean everything #you can find all the court files trial transcripts depositions interogation tapes aerial photos you name it it's out there for anyone with #internet connection to access at any and all hours of the day #and yet people are still foaming at the mouth fighting on reddit abt their innocence based off nothing but a couple of movies like #bffr with me right now!! almost every point the innocenters make can be easily debunked by scrolling through callahan for 15 minutes #'but they've been pushing for dna testing since their release so they can't be guilty' baby the case is closed! #it's been closed the second they took the plea. they can be striking under that courthouse and it still won't change a thing and they knowi #that's why they're pushing for it in the first place but that's just my opinion #^ and i say they but it's really only echols which makes a lot of sense to me personally #and if you want to talk abt dna testing let's talk abt the one that was done in 2011 and how the defense hurried to propose the plea as soo #as they got the results! let's talk abt those cause no one's ever seen them and i would very much like to #braga share the results the people want to know!! #makes me wonder which pieces of evidence they even submitted for that 2011 testing because if i'm remembering correctly #there was one that would've closed this case instantly and maybe that's why the results were never disclosed and the plea was rushed #but that's also just my opinion #and it's also interesting how the majority of people who have in fact deep dived into this case #(and i'm not talking abt big true crime youtubers as i'm very sceptical abt their research abilities) #all collectively lean towards guilty. much to think about #i was hoping someone would make another ~actually~ unbiased documentary for the 30th anniversary and go over all the case files #but i don't think that's even realistic at this point seeing as everyone and their mother has some sort of an opinion on this case #hbo deserves another lawsuit for this. they should've never won the first one in the first place #true crime tw

[good-beans]

You talked a little while ago about why you don't think Shidou would make a good father to Amane (agreed) and proposed the idea of Mahiru adopting Amane. That's cute but I want to tell you about my post-MILGRAM headcanon:

Amane joins the Kajiyamas

Not Fuuta specifically adopting her, but like him taking her back to his family's house. I'm sure they'd have a spare room

I think people don't think about Fuuta's homelife much, or if they do they take Fuuta's one interrogation question where he calls his dad an old fogey and assume its like, abusive

And don't get me wrong, I don't think the Kajiyama household are perfect. Fuuta' beautician sister surely hasn't helped when it comes to Fuuta's body image issues and I'm betting they're all a bunch of tsunderes too embarrassed to say they love each other

But in a series where most of the abused characters are still convinced their abuser loved them/acted out of love. Seeing a guy not be afraid to call his dad a loser is almost a green flag

I think it'd be good for Amane to not necessarily be adopted as the lone child to a single parent but get to be introduced to a very different style of family unit from her own One where its normal to express different opinions or disagreements or even have arguments and not have it be the end of the world

Amane already has a snarky side to her, I bet it'd flourish in a brash household like the Kajiyama's (or at least how I imagine them to be)

OOHHH wait I love that so much! >:O

I agree -- I never interpreted Fuuta's family as abusive or harmful, just not super close and struggling a bit after his mother left. (And yeah, all as openly emotional as him😭) They seem stable and very capable to taking in a extra, very well-behaved child. Assuming Fuuta is the way he is because of them, that atmosphere of being very honest and forward would work well for her. They say things as they are, little by little pointing out the harmful parts of her worldview. Like you said, none of them make excuses about harmful behavior stemming from love, so she'd get a really healthy dose of truth in that area. She never feels coddled or treated like a baby. They care for her while treating her very maturely.

I absolutely love how well she and Fuuta get along, with that snarky side to her that you mentioned. It would allow her to fit in well in the new household, getting the sense of belonging she'll lose after leaving the cult. Also, seeing how Fuuta and his sister let things slip and aren't perfect sons/daughters, she'll be able to relax about earning a parent's love through perfect behavior. She'll probably stay exactly the same, but her stress about it will fade <3

I doubt Fuuta's father can ever replace the hole she'll have from her own father, but the addition of an older sister will be huge. Amane will never get the feeling her mother is being replaced, but the woman will still fill the gap of the older, same-gender role model she needs. Her beautician job may throw Amane at first (being an indulgence in vanity), but it isn't as in-your-face as other careers. I think she could definitely ease Amane into accepting it, and over time, accepting her own personal "indulgence."

Plus, her moving in would also be really good for Fuuta! I think he'd recognize there's a ton of fun things she missed out on, and that heroic side of him outweighs the part that cringes: he gripes and groans about going to "kid places," but he's always the one to announce "I can't believe you've never been to __, we're going right now!!" This allows him to touch grass leave the house and experience his own life to the fullest. He's able to channel his desire to help society into a healthier outlet. Also, seeing her studying habits and plans for the future might even inspire him to do the same. (might.) He becomes the stereotypical good big brother, though of course he denies it viciously...

I have recently been going insane over their friendship so I'm completely taken with this idea OUGH thank you for telling me ;-----;

#milgram #amane momose #fuuta kajiyama #i am going to think about this nonstop now 😭✨ #ive literally been thinking of how much i love their sibling relationship but didnt consider them becoming Actual siblings ;---; #my heart... #the way i interpret the family theyd be able to give her a good mix of treating her like an adult and still giving her the 'childish' care #that she missed out on #and that honesty would just be really healthy for her #she learns not to fear punishment because if someone has a problem with her theyll just say it and move on #she is also a very straightforward person so shed communicate well with all of them #and yeah... i never realized how good an older sister would be for her but thats perfect #also i dont think fuuta is that fucked up lol but it sounds like he has no commitment to school/his future #so once he realizes he wants to help amane and be there for her he really buckles down on everything #if anyone can Fix Him amane can asdfsdfs #now im picturing all the adults scrambling to prepare themselves and trying to figure out if they're in a state to take on a new child #the time comes to leave milgram and they plan this whole speech to ask amane who she'd feel most comfortable living with and all this stuff #then they spot her walking away with fuuta while hes actively trying to get her to stop following him 💀💀💀 #ask #rose posts

[vulturevanity]

Thinking about ScarVi's overarching theme being The Truth Shall Set You Free. I am so normal about this

#spoilers in tags #pokémon #pokemon sv #Arven initially being closed off and not trusting you because he was neglected by his parent and learned to only rely on himself #realizing very early on that being honest is the best chance he has at healing his Mabostiff #but still not opening up about his bigger issues until it was absolutely necessary which pushes the story forward into endgame #Penny hiding herself behind Cassiopeia to protect herself from bullying #getting an entire group of outcast kids into a team to scare their bullies off #only for the plan to backfire splendously when they're mistaken for the bullies #and Clavell in a rare display of clarity ffrom an adult in a position of authority #rather than simply punishing them for it opted to team up with us to understand what was really going on #and that made him much more lenient in punishing them (because they did still cause trouble!) #the truth of Turo/Sada spiraling into their work and refusing to see the damage it was doing to EVERYTHING including themselves #to the point that they DIED #and the AI they built explicitly for the purpose of continuing their work ran the calculations and realized said work was Bad #and that truth made it go against its own programming which is what kickstarts the main story to begin with #and may I contrast all that with NEMONA whose sheer energy and eagerness is 1000% GENUINE #I've seen so many people say they thought she was going to eventually be angry for losing to us all the time #but the whole point of her character is that she's free to do whatever the fuck she wants and she's pretty happy with her life #she has no reason to fake happiness. she's just like that. she is free from the beginning and she's always be free and that's the point #in a story where no one else is!!! everyone else is bound by some complication or another that holds them back from being honest #i changed my mind i'm insane about this. no longer normal #pokemon sv spoilers #babbles

[moe-broey]

ALSO LIKE???????? IN MY MIND I NEVER THOUGHT ALFONSE WAS LIKE. That fucking popular??????????? LIKE....... one thing I've always liked about my online space specifically is how niche it feels and to me. Loving Alfonse so much so dearly felt like. SUCH a niche thing. Like there are one million Fire Emblem characters from main series games who are vastly more popular who have insane fanbases just on their own. To me Alfonse being in top 20 or top 10 always felt like he was an underdog. To me Alfonse has always felt like Just Some Guy and I love him for that. I have ALWAYS been of the belief his ass is NOT getting a Brave alt EVER. You can dream but he's just some guy. A FEH OC. Yeah the Main Fucking Character FEH OC but like. Idk somehow he just felt like. Like liking him and posting about him and drawing him all this fucking time it has always felt like he's an underdog. Guy you have to look at twice to really start thinking about him. And once you start Thinking about him oh dude it is SO fucking over for you (and who knows maybe that's exactly how he won)

#fire emblem #feh #THE WAY I VOTED FOR HIM TWICE THIS YEAR TOO LMFAOOOOOOOOO #the way i was dreaming of fraud....... only being able to do it for bruno but i WAS fully considering it. for both askr sibs as well #I GOTTA KNOW. WHERE SHARENA PLACED. DOES SHE HAVE A SHOT???????????? #could it happen all over again.......... 😳 #BECAUSE. THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT ALFONSE IN THIS CONTEXT VERY MUCH APPLIES TO SHARENA TOO #ESPPPPPPPP honestly MORE SEVERELY. bc ESPPP early on she was SHAFTED SO FUCKING MUCH #to the point where i wholeheartedly believed the writers themselves weren't giving her a chance. that if they DID #then it would have a ripple effect on the fanbase and she would REALLY get to shine #WHICH!!!! I THINK HAS HAPPENED!!!!!! TO A DEGREE NOW!!!!!!!! sharena ABSOLUTELY feels like #a character who stands on her own now and has a lot of compelling things going on and is just charming as well #and like ALL THESE THINGS were present before but now they're stronger. idk if i'm explaining it well #AUAHGHH........ i am. so . still in disbelief tbh. i'm so proud of him though #fe alfonse

[j-ellyfish]

He's so pretty in this pic, I love the expression - or lack thereof. Like, his expression is almost neutral, but then he also got the slight frown in his eyebrows, the very subtle pout and he's breaking eye contact so it's like he's lightly bothered by the situation but you can't tell in which way, if he's actually hiding annoyance, embarrassment or what else. Or if there's just something on his mind he's trying to ignore but cannot. I love these kinds of expressions so much.

#I am not a fan of exaggerated expressions but man I LOVE it when an expression is *almost* blank but if you look at it more closely it is #full of subtle hints of hidden emotions #love this so so much I also love drawing this kind of stuff #I don't think my art comes across as very expressive in the faces because I like the expressions to not be all over the place #I like it if they're not 100% showing their emotions but there's something at least a little bit that is held inside #like for instance that drawing where Spain is telling Austria about the Northern Star I think he doesn't come off as super extroverted and #bubbly like he's more open about his emotions than Austria but I wanted him to come across as if he was trying to hold in a bit of his #excitement instead of letting it go all out because they still hadn't been married for *that* long and they're still a little afraid of #letting themselves go completely in front of the other #sorry idk how this ended up about my drawing preferences but aaaaa #I should draw again I've felt a bit down lately so yeah #but in the past couple days I've been wanting to draw again #aph austria #ary spoke #aph official #hetalia

[shallowrambles]

So I've been thinking. It's funny how enjoying meta is somewhat embedded with trust.

Like, if you're "friends" and have followed a person for a long time, you have more a sense of their values, and it's easier to read their difficult meta because you trust more that they're being charitable/nuanced.

If you don't know them, it's harder to trust that they're not funneling difficult topics into rationalization of liking/supporting gross shit.

#meta thoughts #case in point - so much of the wincest community still comes off super classist to me and it sorts of...leaks into their meta #you'll be going alone with an interesting character study and then you read stuff that just BOOM classism about family ties #then you go to their page and you find that yes they're into that shit and there's typically a desert of thoughtful cas military angels etc #they tend to like benny cause benny is an idealized brother substitute / sam parallel and it's given the most uncharitable reading #just because you choose a partner than is familiar and like your fam members does not mean you're into your family members oh my god #and sure there's tons of visual and overt racism in SPN in general but to me that at least gets discussed #the classism inherent to narrative fangirl obsessions with incest? not as dissected #familism and community are seen as Weird (TM) to them and they kind of tell on themselves with that imho #and like with racism there are just some things you can't overlook to enjoy a series if you're black because that's your day to day life an #with classism it's hard too bc sometimes you can't escape the reminders of day to day life #and when ppl in the fandom see the villain's monologues as TRUTH you just wanna shake your head but know it's not worth arguing #communal living is more normal than america wants you to think...rich folks want it labelled *weird* bc they want you separated and drained #i am begging us to deconstruct suburbia instead of defaulting to TEEHEE incest bc shitting on pooled resources is paramount in a rigged gam #I find the inherent isolation of american living-to-work without any time to visit each other VERY isolating indeed...also... #like how did we get here #where we're so afraid of labels like*cults* and *helicopter parenting* and *enmeshment* than we isolate as a form of hallowed independence #american success culture has a dark side too #and separating low class families is the aim #get them to spend more $$$ and go for lofty ideals in pursuit of american dream instead of pooling their resources and meeting their needs #meanwhile rich folks do so much respectable nepotism and pretend they're *self-made* #to me that's what the symbol of zachariah is ALLLL about #and if you're blind to what his taunts ACTUALLY mean...i'm very suspicious of your worldview #if resource sharing and co-living becomes shameful and *incestuous* for lower classes then they won't pool their power at all #american exceptionalism #spn + class #class #class warfare #giving up college dreams to be a caretaker seems way more common in poor families too #i suspect we see the incest reading less from brown families / hispanic fams...cause familism is more common

[ryan1014n2]

After the closure of the Mid Sodor Railway and being sold to the Peel Godred Aluminum Works, Falcon and Stuart were the closest thing each other had to any sort of home.

Stuart tried to stay cheerful enough for the both of them, but it was much easier said than done.

#before the official 'decline' of the msr (selling half of the engines and closing part of the line) #falcon and stuart considered themselves to be friends #and they eventually came to see each other as being like brothers as they grew up together under duke's teaching #after their other friends were sold off they (along with duke) became much more important parts of each other's lives #but it was after they were sold to the aluminum works when they became incredibly close and amost inseparable #it was not a very loving environment and so through the unfortunate circumstance they quickly became each other’s 'home' #they remained as such through their transfer to the skarloey railway and thus their name changes #although sir handel had come out worse from the aluminum works and was not a very cooperative engine #and sir handel became rather jealous and upset with how quickly peter sam befriended rusty #but he got over it once he also got on rusty's good side (after a bad first impression) and all three got along from then on #with both sir handel and peter sam eventually adopting the skarloey railway as their new home #they're not as dependent on each other as they once were which is refreshing and good for both of them #but they are still much closer and more comfortable with each other than they were before the msr's closure #and when duke was rescued and restored he was pleasantly surprised to see how close his boys had become #and duke was welcomed into the railway's family with open arms-- er-- buffers #ttte peter sam #ttte sir handel #ttte headcanon #(especially in the tags I think) #my doodles #my post

[enjolrasofficial]

ngl i hate the "denny needs a father figure" rhetoric . it highkey implies that the parents he has are not enough and i'm so not here for it. this might be controversial but that and chim accepting his father in his life as well as buck rebuilding a relationship with his parents are all storylines i don't understand and don't like mostly bc they all give me the feeling that they'll blow up in their faces bc that's what abusive family relationships do. i really hope they're going somewhere with this whole "blood is thicker than water" thing bc i came here for the found family trope and i wanna see more of that. what i don't wanna see buck or chim or denny get hurt bc people believe they "need their rEaL" families in their lives

#i want them all to be happy and i don't fuckkng trust any of the people who call themselves 'their parents' bc no. bobby is bucks parent . #the lees are chims parents and karen and hen are denny's parents non of them shoul be subjected to thei bio parents #i do however find it VERY interesting that they're putting this much focus on the contrast between bio parents and parent figures esp #with chris and buck in the role of a father figure and buck in the role of a sperm donor #the contrasts are so strong mainly bc how it's framed and i keep being like 👀👀👀 #leen watches 911 #911 #911 spoilers #also please don't hate me i still love the show and i understand that sometimes show runners will make choices i don't agree with but in #this case it just feels too deliberate if you get what i mean

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

That nosleep post about the lady who killed her husband who came back six months later is making me think things

#random thoughts #horror #six months ago you killed your husband and buried him under your petunias #and as his body laid there and was fed to your flowers it. awakened something in them #they infest him. digging their roots through his nervous system and thoroughly rooting themselves in his brain #eventually they dig their way into his lungs and they take a breath filled with moss and soil #they dig their way out under the dead of night #and their memory is limited but from what limited synapses are still firing they remember you. and they know your touch. #you grew them from seeds. you are their mother. you are their god. you are their wife. you are everything. #they are mostly piloted by muscle memory. they know not of what drives them to do the things they do #complete removal of inhibitions. not weighed down by other people's expectations of what they're supposed to be #in some ways this is the best you've known your husband in all the years you've known him #they awaken from their dirt nap and begin to wander #your husband is found the next day by the local lake. his clothes are nowhere to be found. #(they wanted to become clean for you) #so your husband returns to you. he becomes reclusive. rarely leaving the house. spends most of his time in books or otherwise reading #(they want to become knowledgeable for you) #he treats you with reverance. he stays one step behind you like a living shadow. he will not leave the house without you there with him. #(you are all that matters) #btw this is very much a hivemind situation going on. several tens of petunias now form your deceased husband's cerebral cortex #they lack very much distinction from each other but they ARE multiple #their blood is thin and watery. they eat little unless asked. they become sluggish and sleep for days at a time during cold weather. #their body is self-seeding. their consciousness will remain but vary due to new seedlings taking over as the old ones wither and die within. #feel like when they awaken they know who YOU are and that they are YOUR husband and then they become obsessed with being the perfect husband #and then have an identity crisis when they learn your ACTUAL husband was. less than stellar #'i can be whatever you want as long as it gives me purpose' #when kissed they taste slightly sweet. mostly earthy. kind of floral. with a bitter aftertaste #your old husband didn't want kids. this confuses new husband #like even after they work through their 'i am an object to fulfill a need' phase they just REALLY want kids #you two have a daughter named melissa :-]

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

#well. i AM probably a monster for how much i dislike this lady #but i don't ACT on it #and i genuinely couldn't care less about her. i participate in decent human pleasantries because i am a decent human. #and at work we're stuck together #the thing that's irked me so much about this conversation is just.. her self centeredness #that she thinks everyone is out to get her. to undermine her. whatever. #bitch nobody cares about you enough one way or the other to put in that kind of effort. i sure don't #i empathize but i do not sympathize. to feel that pit that makes you feel like the worst kind of center of attention #i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you #you are not the cat with all the knives pointed at it #it's a terrible feeling to feel like you are! but when it influences your behavior to the point that you are making snide comments #to people who have no option not to interact with you then uh. then you're in the wrong buddy #and the people around you (who cannot easily leave! bc work!) should not have to bend over backwards to assure you #that they're not pointing knives at you. to protect themselves from your feelings making you say mean shit #like yes. i can be more clear with my intentions. i'm generally not the greatest at that. but my baseline that i want to #modify my behavior from is NOT one that a regular well adjusted person would take as anything but kind #and if a regular well adjusted person got a little offput by me volunteering to take work off their hands we would've had a very chill #3 sentence conversation about it MONTHS AGO. #i understand and respect (even if i find it annoying and overbearing) the need for me to announce my intentions like im working in a kitchen #and saying 'hot water' or 'knife' as i move around other people but we shouldn't have reached this conclusion this way #and frankly who's to fucking say me being more clear with my intentions will only feed the flames of her thinking i'm out to get her! #'i caught up on my stuff and your plate looks full. i'm bored. anything i can do to help?' could be a pointed knife for all i know!! #and if it is- and my actions still hurt her in that scenario- am i still responsible for the hurt caused?? #like WHERE DOES IT FUCKING E N D ? #personal #*exhales* okay i feel better now #i just hate talking about my interactions with her bc i just want NOTHING to do with it. i want her out of my head!! #but until i process it i can't let go #and i'm still going to have to go over all of this with my shrink tomorrow #it just makes me mad how much of my time this bitch takes up. i'm not getting paid to think about work right now!!!!

[3vocatio]

obm devs are a joke lmfao the fact that they had the audacity to self-plagiarize such a tender scene with solomon still irks me to this day.

vs

#obey me #omswd #obey me spoilers #obey me solomon #obey me diavolo #the scene with diavolo was so unnecessary too #sure i get that theres people who're into him but there was NO plot relevance whatsoever. the scene itself could very much be thrown away #and the story would still continue as is #but solomon's scene..that scene was SO pivotal to understanding more of his character. so much #what does diavolo in that scene have to offer us?? absolutely nothing #just like most of s4 i guess kjsnfsk #you could argue oh well they're both side characters ofc the brothers hog mc WRONG #'oh ofc they'd say similar things' NO!!! #you're wrong the obm devs are trying to pit us against each other #if they just push themselves they might be able to figure out that they can actually make an interesting plotline *gasp* #/without/ constant fan service that serves no purpose to the main storyline.

[cathymee]

promised myself that i'm gonna fix up my notes from last sy so i can share it with upcoming humss students but i also keep going 'but what's the point'

#there were already so many from years ago who have posted and shared theirs #except theirs weren't as detailed; just the general summary for each topic #and mine are more detailed and i'm also contemplating translating them to tagalog #like this could serve as y'know. notes they could refer to to prepare themselves for the upcoming topics they'd tackle #but also...would i be robbing them of the experience to learn things on the pace their own teachers are setting? #in my own experience i only sought notes in the first few weeks of classes to ease myself into each subs and to learn what i'd be- #getting myself into #but i had fun just anticipating the upcoming topics without knowing anything about them #idk...is this just the result of me constantly mourning the state of the educational system in terms of the garbage curriculum and the- #general unpreparedness of most youths in choosing their tracks especially after the setback that the pandemic has brought on that are still #not given attention to by this garbage administration #combine that with the study of humanities & social science being looked down/underestimated by most filipinos #no wonder they're picking the stupidest and useless politicians & public servants. no wonder they're not paying much attention to the- #credentials of people they're electing to lead the country. ngayon letche-letche HGGSGAHSHAJS #anyway so many of the humss students i know chose careers that aren't consistent with their track and it's sad to see. sayang 2 years my- #loves :') #sigh......gonna do it now anyway #brain be very scattered rn. hate that <3 #catdrain #rambles #non fandom