#Trying To Understand Myself

[luke-o-lophus]

Listening to metal music in unhealthy high volumes feels like my brain is being pressure washed slowly.

#help #why is this #i swear that's the feeling #metal #metal music #lamb of god #trying to understand myself #always

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[stil-lindigo]

HELP PALESTINIAN ARCHITECT EVACUATE HER FAMILY FROM GAZA

This is a verified fundraiser for a family of four to evacuate to Cairo. The fund's creator, Amal Abu Shammala, reached out to me personally to share this since she's failed to get her fund on Operation Olive Branch and Let's Talk Palestine's fundraising linktree.

As of right now, she has raised €2,397/ €42,000. You can see the breakdown of what the money will be used for in the fund description.

Please give generously!

#ive talked to amal myself and can vouch for her #she was so understanding about me having to verify her story first #its so bullshit how people have used the tragedy of a genocide to masquerade as palestinians in need #perhaps its selfish for me to personally advocate for only a few families in need when so many people require help #but i feel like the way i stay sane is to just. focus on one family at a time #im gonna try to do another fundraising event (?) soon idk how successful it'll be #i just dont have enough money man #palestine #free palestine #free gaza #donations #gaza #rafah #khan younis

[saltmalkin]

tiangou

#watercolor #artists on tumblr #illustration #wolf #my collection of watercolor rejects continues to grow but I feel myself starting to understand how this medium works #trying to get over the part of myself that says everything I post must be perfect #I made a lot of mistakes with this one but I really like where it went

[mountainshroom]

sooo i borrowed a drawing pad from school and serennedy was in my head once more 

#serennedy #leon s kennedy #Leon Kennedy #luis serra #resident evil 4 #resident evil 4 remake #Fanart #digital art #my art #i'm srsly trying to understand these brushes and settings still so sorry if it looks wonky af :') #but i had so much fun drawing this tho because THEM #can't wait to play this game myself in the next 3 years when i have the money lmao

[amanfromnewjersey]

I am going insane about these stoats

(my insta is @trisideseye and that's where I mostly post art. I'm purely posting here bc @quiddie is active on here and I need aabria to know, personally ,how fucked up I am about these stoats)

#burrows end #burrows end spoilers #burrows end tula #tula burrows end #brennan lee mulligan #aabria iyengar #i. abandoned tumblr. i am trying to not use tumblr for any more than following people. i used to post here but i gave up bc i got annoyed #im in physical pain. every ounce of me doesnt want to post my cool art on fuckung tumblr. #tumblr CANNOT be my main social again. I need to give my socials to EMPLOYERS. i want to make art for a JOB #but there are more dimension 20 bitches on tumblr than insta bc its the mentally ill platform #and i need. peiple to understand how fycked up i am abt this stoat mom. #im insane. im insane. im insane. im biting this piece of media im the jugular like i myself am a stoat #and i cant SAY that on instagram the EMPLOYERS will have my ass!!!!!! #anyways. #dimension 20

[tubbytarchia]

Sorry, last one, swear!! I'll try and finish this by the 10th and then I will leave you all alone. I'm experiencing some long missed joy in creating this, please forgive my impatient excitement

#Just need this to be done already but its not so I just need to share one last bit of it to keep myself motivated. Please understand #Mercy... Thank you for all the support though but I'll express more of that at the end of this #scarian #desert duo #trafficshipping #trafficblr #those pink forest backgrounds are like the only ones I remotely like in this entire animation #but I'll try to redo and improve some of the others before I dare show them to the public eye. My backgrounds suck ass #seriously though wahhh I am so miserable but alas... the joy of creation #sorry for speaking like this is my magnum opus and everyone needs to look at it. I just dont know when I'll ever create smth like this agai #to me this means a lot #too many tags #tubby art

[ewwww-what]

an archdevil and a presidential candidate sneak into a gay bar

flatcolor + closeups below :)

#they love each other so much you guys don’t understand #they’ve lived together for years. they have seen each other at their worst. #THEY HAVE CHOSEN EACH OTHEROVER EVERYTHING SO MANY TIMES #ITS ALL ABOUT FRIENDSHIP #ITS ALL ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE #ITS ALL ABOUT TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER #my brother just brought me fettuccine alfredo #which is an important addon to this post #(it’s all about taking care of each other) #BY THE WAY #I understand the ‘they are sisters’ response to lots of my bad girls posts but I need to make it so clear that it’s more than that #not to be that guy because I do get it but I’m in a constant state of twisting myself around my art to avoid some things #and something I get a bunch is people seeing things as either ‘they’re siblings’ or ‘they’re dating’ when neither was my intention #because what I’m trying to get across here isn’t romantic and it’s not really sisterly either. love is such a wide range beyond that #+ and I want those types of love to also be understood within my art y’know #all that to say that it’s not that deep and they love each other very very much any way you slice it #d20 #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 fanart #fantasy high #fhjy #kristen applebees #fig faeth #fig fantasy high #kristen fantasy high #kristen chilis applebees #fantasy high fanart #undescribed #my art

[callmebliss]

The ADHD and autism crossover function where you thoroughly overpack for trips

not because you are bad at organization and planning and control but, rather

you know the unpredictability of the world and the possibility of the arising of Conditions or Circumstances which change which outfits or clothing items you can wear, including being two days out on your trip and your electric meat deciding without warning that most of what you brought if now illegal

So your overpacking is self-knowledge and planning for control in the uncontrollable

that is a thing right that’s not just me?

#adhd #autism #trying to battle The Lonely #and understand myself #please hold my hand through the ether and tell me #you too

[fudgelling-away]

Don't panic, he's not attacking! He's saving your butt.

What is he looking at? Maybe you were just about to fall off a ladder or *insert something that makes sense*

Let me know how you freaked him out so much. Or better yet, draw what was going on a second ago!

In any case, you owe him a new coffee, that's for sure.

#sansnomaly #sans x reader #sans x you #ut!sans #sans #don't try to understand the light source here #I don't understand it myself #I had no reference and no idea what I was doing #my art

[herotune]

their friendship ingame is soooo cute to me and i had to draw something with them..

also lae'zel's hair looks both difficult to maintain and hard to do on your own and i think astarion would be the perfect person to help 🌟

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #lae'zel #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanart #herotune #comic #my comics #my art #i love them both sooooo much ough...... #i demand more fanworks w them being friends but i may have to do it myself 😭 i try to avoid fanbase beyond my friends n just #posting my art but from what i understand lae'zel isnt that popular and it makes me so sad....shes the best ok #also yes im making astarion trans #im making all the bg3 characters trans actually. and no one can stop me

[ankerias]

i think you should get 80% discounts on boots if youre a transsexual and another 20% off if youre goth

#im trying to convince myself to buy a new pair & havent had luck thrifting #& i understand sturdy = pricy im going to whimper really obnoxiously through the whole process though

[sidecast-deactivated]

the thing about queer exclusionism besides being blatantly hypocrytic is that it treats being opressed and discriminated as something meriting authority within the community. "youre not opressed so you cant be part of our community" who are you to decide what counts as opression? how can you judge an experience you havent lived? queerness has so many levels and intersections with other factors that you will never be able to completely santise it to your liking. there will always be people and labels that you dont understand and distinctions you think are futile in the grand scheme of things, but you have to learn to be civil towards them, you have to learn about intersectionality. you cant decide who is "opressed enough" opression doesnt have levels, its not something you can rate, its something you fight against and thats it. if you want to defeat opression, you cant use it as a unit of measurement.

#sorry i usually dont post things like this i just saw too many idiots today #and i am in no way trying to pose myself as an authority on this topic #i have my own set of pet peeves and things and labels i dont understand the application of #but you will never see me exclude someone from being queer based on the opression argument #queer community #queer

[exhuastedpigeon]

Just thinking about how 9-1-1 is a network television show and Evan Buckley is a stereotypical hot, macho man. How this show isn't niche or 'gay'. How people from all walks of life watch this show. Millions of people watch this show.

Someone out there watched tonight's episode and realized they've felt that way before. They realized they aren't alone.

Someone out there watched that episode and gained a better understanding of how people can figure out their sexuality later in life.

Someone out there watched tonight and saw that there isn't one way to be queer.

Someone's parents watched that episode tonight and realized that just because their kid isn't stereotypically gay or bi or queer, that doesn't make their sexuality less valid.

Someone watched this episode and realized that just because their friend/sibling/cousin/etc has only dated the opposite gender before, that doesn't mean they can't be bisexual

This episode matters so much. It matters so much.

#911 #911 spoilers #i'm crying okay #i wish this episode had existed when I was 18 #and hated myself because i didnt understand why i was so jealous and selfish with my best friends time #i wish it existed when i was 23 and trying to tell my mom that no i'm not 'softening the blow for when I tell her im a lesbian' i'm BISEXUA #bisexual #lgbtq #queer

[you-makestedehappy]

Line deliveries that play on repeat in my brain.

Season 1, episode 4 - Discomfort in a Married State

🐈‍⬛❤️‍🩹🍆💦🏴‍☠️ [ep 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10]

Bonus :

#i'm on FIRE guys #any time i tell myself “this line isn't going to make the cut” i feel like i'm committing a war crime #trying to appease my guilt by making bonuses yeah #today's runner-ups are : #“Yes - abso... oh you can tell” #“I'm not a fucking mermaid.” #“Useless fuckin' fuckers!” #“Ed! Do you know this guy? He's a complete asshole!” #“Maybe they understand ecclesiastical Latin.” #our flag means death #ofmd #my gifs

[catnippackets]

an obscure thing I find attractive in people (not romantically just in general) is readily admitting when they find horror media terrifying instead of making fun of it. it always irks me when people are like LOL SORRY I LAUGHED or THAT'S ACTUALLY FUNNY NOT SCARY LOL or making jokes about it (that are like actual jokes not just "I'm scared so I have to joke or else I'll die of fright"). I think the best reaction to horror media will always be fear!!! omg that's horrifying!! if this happened to me I would cry!! thanks now I can't sleep!! like please engage with the emotion the media is trying to convey in you omg I'm not gonna think you're cool and tough if you laugh at horror I'm gonna think you're annoying

#ramblings #like as a horror creator myself I would feel completely awful if I was trying to be scary and everyone just laughed at me #I know that for some reason there is an overlap w horror and comedy but for the life of me I do not understand it at all #please be scared it's so fun in itself already