#WHEW THAT WAS A DOOZY

[ralexsol]

Okay, so I just rewatched S1 of Loki. And since the last time I watched, so many opinions of mine have changed. Instead of focusing all on Lokius and their character arcs, I went into this viewing instead looking at Sylvie, completely throwing my initial dislike of her out the window to be unbiased.

And MAN, am I glad I did that. Because I connected to Sylvie on a WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL.

In my eyes, I see her as a trans allegory. Lokis are usually genderfluid, right? I mean, that's the impression I get - our main 2012 Loki, who's only difference from the Sacred Timeline was escaping with the Tesseract, is classified as genderfluid. And that makes perfect sense, he's a shapeshifter and all that, yadda yadda stuff that's already been said, love it.

But here's the thing. The thing that made Sylvie a Variant, to our knowledge, was that "she is a woman!" So, let's think about this for a second. She's different because she's STRICTLY a woman. Not genderfluid. She/her in her bio. And it finally clicked for me that she's... trans. Literally trans. AND THATS WHAT GETS HER ARRESTED BY THE TVA! She wasn't the right gender, she dared to do something nobody wanted her to. She was different, unexpected... a Variant. And she had to be annihilated because of that.

I know, I know, I'm just stating what all of us already know, we KNOW thats why she was arrested. But you have to actually think past the annoying "oohhh she's the only girl Loki great original idea Marvel" in order to sympathize with her character, because she is VERY sympathizable.

She's literally just a kid, living as her truest self. She's ripped from her family by essentially the government of the universe. She's taken to a trial that nobody walks away from innocent. But Sylvie is different. Lokis are the definition of chaos, the unexpected, defiance. And she's the most defiant of all, because she defied even the preset she was given as a physical person. Nah, she didn't want to be a man or even nonbinary. She was a woman, and they wouldn't let her be. That wasn't allowed. They would hunt her down just for fucking existing in a way that didn't match up with their perception of Lokis.

Her entire life was fighting against a system that wanted her dead. They would rather have order and their precious little clean, easy system (that in reality is harder to maintain than letting people be free) than to let her just fucking exist as she wanted to.

The resentment grows. Of course you want to take down the entire system. Of course you want to burn it all down. Because not only did the government hunt you down, they had already hunted down an infinite number of people just like you. People who didn't find happiness in what was force-fed to them. People who didn't want to tread down the only path provided.

Isn't that what all of us people in the LGBTQ+ community want? To tear the system to pieces, to start over anew? I mean, that's what I want. Because it's flawed right to the very core - at least, where I'm from (the USA), it is. It was made to keep rich, white cishet men in power. A system built from discrimination and power-hoarding cannot be reformed. And even if you tried, it would take too long. It HAS taken too long, and it's cost countless innocents their lives.

You can't undo all that trauma instantaneously. Of course Sylvie would burn it all down. Of course she would kill He Who Remains. Of course she wouldn't want the TVA to keep existing. Yes, there are people in the TVA now that want to change it for the better. Yes, she needs to open her heart and realize burning it down doesn't fix everything. Because you can't rip everything to shreds and not create something new in its place. Fighting tyranny doesn't just end with kicking the dictator out of power - you have to set fair rules to prevent the same thing or worse happening again.

I understand why she didn't want to come back. She had fulfilled what she thought was her only purpose, and finally settled down into the life she utterly deserves. But her story isn't over yet. She can be at peace with having created a new world in which the tyranny is over. In which everyone makes their own choices. In which she can be a woman and never fear time itself imploding. It's just hard to let go of something you've been holding onto for so long. You've been fighting to keep yourself alive and true, and it's hard to accept when maybe... you are winning.

You are not a Loki because you are Sylvie. You broke your guidelines so deeply that you are your own person. There is nobody like you because deep in your very soul, you are the truest Loki to ever exist. You defy. You survive. You and your glorious purpose, to smile and know you are a woman and nobody can tell you any differently. You are exactly whatever you choose to be.

THATS NOT EVEN ALL OF IT THOUGH. THERE'S MORE. And yes, it's about our main Loki and Sylvie's relationship.

I'll come right out of the gate: I've been a Lokius shipper since literal day 1, and nothing will ever change that. I don't ship Sylki and I never will, end of story. I don't see them as romantic at all. What I DO see, however, is looking yourself in the mirror and feeling love for yourself, having survived everything and still more. Let me explain what I mean.

The whole first season, Loki gets to know Sylvie and more of her backstory. And obviously they have the fun dynamic of being two "Lokis" (I hesitate calling Sylvie a Loki anymore) because they're both insanely arrogant and backstabby, yadda yadda. But Loki becomes fonder of Sylvie. Why?

Because they see this other version of themself that went through something so similar yet so incredibly different than them. They are still genderfluid - and bisexual - and they went through that journey of self discovery. They realized they didn't exactly fit the mold, classic trans story. But the difference is that while their family came to accept that and they got to live their life as themself, they see this distorted mirror of what could've been. They see a life where Odin and Frigga didn't accept them. They see the life they were lucky to escape, a life of hardship and a battle they never had to fight.

Sylvie was so brave. But she's been broken time and time again, and she's lonely, and she's never had anyone to care about her. It's you. She's alone and you've just been told by an old friend that you will be alone until the end of time. That you are unlovable. You are the same. You feel so much empathy and you realize something important.

You're looking at this beautiful person. A person who has endured so much pain, and she is beautiful because she is herself. She fought so hard to exist and she has never had a win and she's never had anyone who ever truly understood her. She is you but not you because she is herself.

It's a similar feeling to looking into a mirror and seeing yourseld as a child. Different but the same. Your lives as a whole are completely different. But you still face the same issues. You look in the mirror and the other you is broken. The other you, just like you, thinks they are unlovable.

But you know what they are going through. And you love them more than anyone ever could. You understand more than anyone ever could.

As someone who is on the aroace spectrum and struggles to parse if I'm feeling romantic or platonic feelings (I won't even get into that), I see the Sylki kiss as a complicated but understandable action. The idea of feeling romantic feelings towards yourself is something unfathomable as nothing really can equate to it in our world. I won't get into the morality of it, because honestly, the answer to that is completely based on subjective opinion, since it's an abstract concept. Anyways, my point.

My POINT is that Loki has a lot of feelings and doesn't really know how to express them. Also, like, I'm pretty sure Sylvie only kissed him because she wanted to trick him into letting his guard down to kick him back to the TVA lollll.

As for the end of S2? Well, after the incredible mind-boggling Ep4, I have no idea what way the plot will turn from here. But as for character arcs, I think Sylvie will come to realize that this new TVA can be a force for good. With a new code for keeping the timeline safe from multiverse jumpers who wish the conquer multiple planes - AHEM Kang or others -, and NO PRUNING INNOCENT TIMELINES, why not keep it around? It's a whole different system at that point. It's no longer forcing people to be exactly as intended. It let's them live out their lives however they want to, safe from existential threats.

Sylvie can sit in the back of her truck looking up at the stars in her McDonald's uniform, breathing in fresh air, and thinking about how good it is to be no longer the only one like her.

#loki #marvel #loki spoilers #sylvie laufeyson #loki laufeyson #loki series #whatsupray? #WHEW THAT WAS A DOOZY #Might make a post about Ravonna once I rewatch the first 4 eps of S2

[firsthumandisaster]

The humanoid typhoon would find himself strapped to a table. The restraints were made with him in mind. His metal arm had been stripped from him, and instead, someone had used the opening to bolt him more firmly to the table. Scientists gathered around him. Their faces were indistinguishable around their masks. They all spoke at the same time and there was no telling who was saying what.

"....brother." He could hear one of them say. "Sister..." was another voice.

The lights shined on him, blurring their figures even more. There was the shine of a scalpel in front of him and the prodding of an IV needle in his arm. Was it the drugs that made this all seem so surreal? That made everything hard to decipher?

"We don't want to lose this one yet." He heard finally. Yet? that didn't sound good. He took a look around. He was surrounded by large chambers filled with something he couldn't truly discern. He focused on it, trying to get whatever it was to come into view.

Then he saw her face. It was a plant. Not even an independent like him, but simply an angel floating in clear liquid. Her limbs, however, had been severed. There was a large cut down her chest that had been sewn back together. There was a similar line of stitches over the top of her head. And her expression was that of a soundless scream.

He had to look away, he couldn't look at it anymore. He turned his head the other direction. That scene was no better. The only difference, was the plant that floated, stitched from being torn to pieces. Was his twin. Knives' eyes were still open, staring at him from the tank. But his hair was black. And his life was gone.

Giving Vash nightmares! || How cruel of you...

The nightmare held Vash fast to its terror. He couldn't break free of the table in the dream, and breaking free from the dream felt impossible. He was crying out, anyone near by might hear, but he was choking on his fear and tears as the images of the Plant and Knives drove into his mind in a way he knew he would never forget.

"Stop! Knives!! You can't be--CAN'T BE!! Help me, Nai!" He was screaming in the dream, and possibly out loud, fighting against his blankets to be free of the bed. The room was filled with light, feather protrusions were stretching from his shoulder, back and right arm.

Falling from the bed was the examination table overturning. Vash hit the ground hard and the blankets were tearing away from his body in a rush of heat. Inside the nightmare was warping around him. The scientists were screaming. There were incoherent words about "out of control" and "sedate him!" and "KILL IT!"

"NO!" Vash's shout was of fear, fear of them and fear of himself. His body was twisting and arching as the restraints broke under the flexing of power he was not controlling. "Stop! Please stop!"

Feathers curled around his real body as he fought the nightmare raging inside him. He was sobbing and yelling incoherently, still struggling to move properly.

Without his prosthetic, Vash was powerless to move properly as his arm morphed and bulged, light breaking through the skin to reveal a young sun blindingly bright and radiating searing heat.

"STOP!! STOP IT PLEASE STOP IT!!" Larger feathered shaped surrounded the bright sun at the core of what was his arm, his body was moving on his own, no matter how much he tried to stop himself.

Knives was right, Vash. If we don't stop them now... They'll wipe us out for good... But what about Meryl? Nick? Zer0? Where were they? Would he kill them if this canon fired and took out another city? Would this time be the end for him? A withered husk like all the others after their power was used up? "No! It can't end this way--Nai--Nai is--he's--" Nai is dead. And so is the rest of this place for killing him.

With a violent jerk that slammed his head into the wall, Vash woke with another shout. The Plant curled up, shaking violently as the feathery glow pulsed in time with his racing heart. He clutched at his right shoulder with the prosthetic that was thankfully whole in the waking world.

"It's okay..." he whispered out loud to hear the words as much as to speak them. "You're okay, its okay. Nothing's wrong. It was a dream.."

A shaky sob escaped him. "It was a dream, right?"

#[Nightmares] #whew that was a doozy #he could use a friend though #someone to let him know he didn't blow something up again #[Vash] #[Diablo;;The Devil's In The Details]

[ssomepersonn]

campfire night

(unshaded vers under the cut :] )

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #razputin aquato #lili zanotto #dogen boole #sam boole #frazie aquato #morris martinez #gisu nerumen #dion aquato #mirtala aquato #adam joseph gette #lizzie natividad #norma natividad #i think thats everyone WHEW #my art #this one was a doozy to do sdkjsd #but it was fun to do another big piece after a while #i think lili would love burning marshmallows to ash

[distant-velleity]

🍦🍝💘🧡 for all your skrunklies pls! (Or just some if you don't want to do all of them <3)

🍦 SOFT ICE CREAM — what is/are your oc's favorite ice cream flavor(s)?

chrysos will eat any ice cream flavor, pretty much. no favorites. i can imagine santiago enjoying any fruity (haha) flavors, and davis is basic he just enjoys plain ol vanilla or chocolate

on any given day you can find yu favoring either mint chocolate chip, raspberry sorbet, or cookie dough

🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)?

i made davis' favorite food sandwiches as a reference to a certain song from newsies. even if he doesn't sing that line. i have no regrets

yu and santiago are both fruit enjoyers, so anything light and fresh like that,

and i dont think i need to talk abt my favorite "carnivore" chrysos who craves fish/meat

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

sorry this might go into angst territory <3

chrysos - at least until he goes to nrc, and even then it remains somewhat of an internalized mindset, his most important person is rielle--for better or for worse. definitely for the worse. his life so far has just revolved around rielle, whether it was protecting him or wanting to be better than him or wanting what he has

santiago - he'll say it's himself, and he certainly acts like it sometimes, but he really considers the people around him the most important; and it's hard to tell if that caused his periods of low self-esteem or vice versa. um also you could very much look at the way he's supposed to covet material riches like his movie counterpart buuut

davis - i think what's always been most important to him is justice or fairness, basically doing what's right... he grew up believing that lying was bad, so of course he didn't do it, but it wasn't so much about lying itself as it is about his conscience and very strong sense of morality, so. i mean we get to see that degrade but he still cares a lot about justice

yu - himself, or rather the perception of himself, because his self-worth is literally non-existent and he ends up putting his relations with others and their views of him above all else since. he absolutely despises what he is without those things to cushion himself... dude you have serious problems

🧡 ORANGE HEART — does your oc tend to prioritize family or friends?

chrysos - friends (he has no family for a long time)

santiago - friends (his family is blatantly neglectful and try to appease him with material presents)

davis - family (they're very close, for the most part)

yu - friends (aside from having no family in twst -- at least at the start -- his biological family did not get along very well)

#ask #ask meme #twst oc ask #headcanons #quinn !! #whew this one was a doozy

[tanjir0se]

Kiss the Devil, Chapter 5

In a forward-flying leap, Kyojuro’s hand found Akaza’s throat, gripped it tightly, and tackled the other demon to the ground. He held him against the earth by the throat and a knee pressed into his chest. His face inches from Akaza’s, Kyojuro bared his teeth.  Akaza blinked up at him, then grinned with bemused delight. “What, they’re letting you keep pets now?” He asked in Giyuu and Tanjiro’s general direction.  “Not very well trained, is it?” He was cut off as Kyojuro lifted him by the throat and slammed him back down into the earth with such force that it cracked the ground beneath them.  “What did you do to me?” His voice was such a ferocious snarl that Tanjiro and Giyuu could hardly make out the words at all. Akaza’s grin faded. He looked unflinchingly up at the demon holding him down, stared into those uncanny bright eyes, like twin suns. Where have I seen those eyes before?  “What did you do to me, you bastard?!” The familiar demon roared again, slamming him back into the earth a second time. His cascade of fiery hair fell over the both of them. Akaza’s eyes went wide.  “Kyojuro…?”

Chapter 5 of Kiss the Devil is up on AO3! I hope you enjoy, and as always Happy Rengiyuu Wednesday!

#rengiyuu #kny #demon!rengoku #go read my bullshit !! #whew this chap is a bit of a doozy #and the angst is merely beginning #gonna go ahead and tag this with #renkaza #bc it's the most overtly renkaza we've gotten so far and may continue #giyuu's jealous #same lmfao #ok enough rambling #my stuff

[the-nysh]

After finishing up my trigunbookclub reread of volume1, I feel I've come to a greater understanding of some of its first themes presented.

If the first story arc (ch00-04) introduces us to the tone & setting, where even on such a harsh, inhospitably dry desert planet to live, humanity's so often pushed to resort to violence to even survive, we're also shown how those unfortunate conditions and choices--even for this necessitated way of life, doesn't mean that humanity itself is inherently evil or a lost cause. :O I feel that's one of the biggest distinctions made.

Then in the Sand Steamer arc (ch05-09), I've come to appreciate the significance of Rem being introduced here--in a way that metaphorically (and successfully) puts her core beliefs directly into practice. Leading Vash towards a greater understanding of what it means for people to keep on living with hope ('blank tickets') for the future.

[First page (left, in ch5) poses his ongoing question to himself & Rem in his dreams: in a world (his reality) so terribly dry--even people's hearts, he wonders why people would go on living. Vs the second page (right, in ch9) after his whole experience on the Steamer, where he feels he more closely understands her belief and the answer to his question.]

Because everyone's 'tickets' riding on the Steamer's seemingly doomed course could be changed and averted to a whole new destination! Through the help of everyone choosing to come together to work to survive this and make it happen. Where humanity is capable of course-correcting itself despite even the worst conditions, and that demonstration of humanity's potential very much aligns with what Rem believed in, and represents why she gave her life for the rest of humanity to even have that chance of a future too. :')

Then paralleling Vash's experience (vs one half of the Nebraskas and following his epiphany about Rem on the Steamer), Meryl gets her own arc (ch10-12, vs the other Nebraskas, among continuing themes of family) that gives her the confidence boost to choose and commit towards her own course in life--her own 'blank ticket,' with greater faith and understanding too. Without holding herself back or closing her heart off towards what matters to her either, by taking action and contributing even in small but significant ways towards the course she wants to aim for. :') (More in-depth Meryl commentary here.)

Chapter-by-chapter commentary of vol1's first arc written here, but the Sand Steamer's in-depth commentary continues below:

Ch05: 'Assault'

True to his word in ch4, when Vash promised he'd take care of the lost 'stowaway' kid who's evidently in trouble, he TAKES CARE of him by providing extra food & shelter (in first class; no more insufficient space in third; wow, sweet caretaker Vash~) Even if he has to evade those sharp suspicions from the girls about what he's sneaking around doing. :P

Vash making small talk with the boy (while having one eye winked closed) feels almost like he's fishing for info, like Vash knows more than he lets on when he mentions stuff about the possibility of a 'raid' tonight. 👀 (Pretty sure he noticed the kid had a knife the prev ch too, so the kid is...def hiding something.) Along with some philosophical musings about their origins on this planet: has it been a happy blessing or a curse? For humanity to have arrived here yet be essentially stranded on this harsh, dry place to live. While on the other hand, the kid gauges him as well, thinking Vash seems to speak very oddly about such things (and it is odd to ask a child about this; how would he even have enough life experience to know?) since the kid--Kaite/Kaito has never had to compare his life's current tough situation or circumstances beyond what he's always known on this planet. So to him, it's as if Vash were speaking much like those who first arrived here and experienced the fall more than 100yrs ago. 👀👀 As if Vash knows (or feels with longing?) there's any other (better, happier) places for humans to be, with memory of places beyond here. Suspicions suspicions! (going both ways here, and this seems to be one of the first times Vash--or at least his perspective, comes off much older/different than he appears, especially to a young kid who can sense it.) Hmmm...but it seems Vash silently noticed too late that his drink had been drugged with something that suddenly puts him to sleep. That kid is much sneakier and skilled than he lets on! (You can't even take your guard down around kids here!) Despite how much he thinks of Vash as a 'nice guy.' :'D

Unfortunately cause the kid does have a priority job to prepare for...cause he's basically the scout ready to signal for when it's time for the Bad Lads' raid to begin! (hmm~ irony after Vash had just mentioned it before) The kid's worked ahead of time to disable the Steamer's main defense room so the ship can't shoot back, by putting all their security personnel to sleep the same way as Vash--by placing that same drug to dispense thru their air vents. So then I suppose the kid considered Vash part of Steamer's security too? :'D Enough to put him to sleep like the rest. He did see how much the caravan guy (prev ch) had tried to hire Vash to join before, so perhaps the kid took the extra precaution just to be 'safe.' To keep Vash from interfering too.

Anyway, Vash may be put to sleep but the GIRLS ARE AWAKE! Startled by all the commotion. (And god, what uncomfortably tight and claustrophobic crew's beds those are! D: But bonus cute: Milly loosely ties her hair back with bows for bedtime~)

But Vash being asleep means we're shown his first dream of Rem! (Looks like the kid was nice enough not to leave Vash snoozing on the floor, and somehow hauled him up onto the bed before he left.) One of Rem's first 'cues' is to the comforting, nostalgic sound of singing, and I like how the 98 adapted a whole song that basically represents 'her.' But if you remember in the prologue ch00 about how the 'same song of humanity still sang'....well, you can probably symbolically link the two together: she and the 'song of humanity' are likely representative of one in the same. Or rather, she represents (the best of) humanity itself - to HIM (as his mom an ideal he often seeks guidance from when lost), is the feeling I get.

UUuuruhghghh;;; man, ok, the line he asks her really gets to me. About him thinking how everything in this world (that he's seen so far in his life) is so terribly dry, even people's hearts :')) (Really? even from all the other people besides her he's met? even the kind ones? or has he just been..so tired.) That he just sits here (almost reverting to a childlike mentality--in the 98 anime he often speaks this way to her using 'boku' as his pronoun), wondering with no easy answer, repeatedly asking himself--and her, the same question: how can people can still find reasons to keep on living. :'))) And GOSH, he frames this to her as if the dry world (his reality) he knows of is that dream, while his preferred 'reality' is....this safe, familiar, comforting (ideal) peaceful dreamworld based on his memories with Rem. Man;;; escaping reality vs dreams...it's like which world would he prefer to keep on living in? When the one he knows upon waking is so continually dry and hard even for him to find those reasons to keep going...just how do people do it? God, do you see what I'm getting at. ;o; (Especially after he asked Kaite, the boy, whether their arrival--or birth/fate here is anything to be happy about...man, alright, so maybe that was Vash's subtle way of asking a fellow kid how to stay happy before he asks his mom about it.)

Her only advice and guidance for him...is about her excitement knowing that their futures have no set destinations; they've been handed blank tickets at birth to go wherever and make whatever of their lives as they please. Their train tracks don't simply lead a one-way ticket to somewhere so dreary and dooming like that, nowhere that seriously fated at least. :') So in a way, that's her positive outlook on life: to ask her heart where she most wants to go, cause that choice of destination is always open to make or change no matter what happens. Their future's not fated or set in stone. So that belief keeps her hope (and sense of happy, youthful fun) going. ONLY.......her destination became......[something so earth-shattering Beyond his reach] that remembering even fragments of that almost like a dream shifting to a nightmare jolts Vash to wake up (fallen over the bed, shaken and un-grounded--or I imagine, he tried to reach forward to save her from falling, only there's nothing he could do, save for him falling back to reality) with nearly shed tears. :'))

Following THAT whole speech about unset destinations and such, there's some...interesting framing/contrast going on about how the Steamer's treasure vault can't be opened until they reach their destination, and something something...the way BDN forcibly resets their course and speed to reach their destination HIS WAY. (Wanting to speed towards a huge crash at the end to bust open that treasure.) Which in his words, "The best thing for a meager [Dark Horse: 'rotten'] life is an early, glorious death!" Where if it's not flashy, then there's no point! Well then! D: How 'bout that course of life--to go out with Style gee what would he say about Rem's... (So that's the kind of adrenaline 'ticket' BDN chooses to live by, enough that he drags everyone else into it...!)

Ch06: 'Die Hards'

We learn BDN likes gutsy people who meet his flashiest standards (enough that he kills people who're literally true to their word! or who meet their most honorable/'beautiful' end to his liking), that the boy argues he was only here to take care of the ship's defenses (putting everyone to sleep) as his deal to make way for BDN's arrival....and that the ship belongs to kid's father, so he absolutely does NOT agree with BDN's choice of 'end' destination for it!!! D: (also really cool art shift to a sketchy graphite style for how grave of a matter this is for the boy's resolute stance to not destroy the ship.) This display is absolutely not to BDN's liking, so the kid's dangerously pushing his luck towards an untimely death-beating. Kid, you're gonna get yourself killed! (even the other grunts can see that!)

And now I have no clue how Vash made it outside to climb his way up to the bridge (maybe that was the fastest route!) but he makes his cool Big Damn Hero moment arriving just in the nick of time to save the kid from BDN's killing blow, by shooting through the windshield (while hanging upside down!) and swinging in through the broken window with Style~ (also lmao he grabs some of the grunts' guns to keep those guys back using his other hand) He keeps his eyes focused on BDN from behind as he beckons the kid over to him, and BDN's sneaky enough to try a reverse shot from behind as more of his goons come in too, that I honestly can't quite tell if Vash actually reacted fast enough to dodge or feign the impact of getting shot to make a big display jumping backwards out the window to escape with the kid. :O His expression next panel (while grabbing the kid who's screaming in confusion) looks like he's fine, like Vash did it on purpose (either way, BDN looks jazzed for more), but then the two of them aren't fine flailing around outside getting pelted by incoming crashing rocks!

MEANWHILE, Meryl & Milly sneakily trap and beat up some goons in the dark to...?! 👀 (Plus, the guy's weird comment probably refers to the scent of a women's perfume or soap nearby, since all they're used to is their sweaty greasy dirty bucket suits, hah. :P)

Back 'safely' inside, Vash and the kid's interactions are so goofy, like Vash is annoyed and sassing how the kid's kind of an ungrateful brat :P (drilling him some manners to say thank you!) But when he learns the Steamer's on a crash course towards Doom, and the kid starts moping in regret for what he's done to his father's dream (selling the ship to BDN for some quick cash, for things to have ended up like this...) with some self-depreciating, shameful, almost fatalistic ways of thinking (when the kid is actually quite skilled/talented)...Vash butts in both berating and motivating the kid to keep his (their) head in the game in times like this. Cause it's not over yet (their 'destination' can still be changed!) and they've still got a job to do--to try and save/stop the ship! Schooling your spirits to stay strong (determined!) and focused on task to survive...that's basically the reassuring ~vibe~ Vash gives off here. :'3

Ch07: 'Rem'

Interesting how BDN has plans to bail early from the ship before it meets its 'end' rather than going down in a glorious bang along with everyone in it....(hmm hmm, curious Rem contrast~)

Vash makes his way thru the ship taking out goons as he goes, while the kid helps him navigate the fastest route after commandeering the ship's communications room. Eavesdropping on everything happening while relaying the safest directions to Vash thru his special pen-earring radio receiver (old lost technology!! so it seems his earring does serve a practical purpose besides cosmetic) EVENTUALLY though, it seems BDN cleverly figures all this out, enough to lead Vash right into a trap (ambush) waiting for him inside the bridge. The boy had warned Vash not to underestimate the gang--or all of humanity for that matter, as tricks and betrayals like this are all-too common. (So did the kid know this? and lead Vash right into this trap despite his trust? Or was it all BDN's doing and the kid's innocent. Either way, there's something interesting to be said here about who you can trust.)

But one of the biggest takeaways this chapter is that Vash isn't perfect. As even he can slip up to mistakenly shoot more damage than he intended, enough that he gets shot/injured too. :') But in classic Vash fashion, he's more worried about the other guy he shot (he's not about to let anyone die), rather than tending to his own wound. He chooses to take care of others before himself. But the kid berates him for this, how this kind of irrational 'hero' behavior is only going to get himself killed if he keeps this up.

BUT STILL, even if Vash concedes he looks rather foolish/pathetic at this stuff (hmmm those self-pity/depreciation vibes...) he stresses he still does all this (protects life) as a promise to Rem. It's because of her that anyone on this planet is still alive, so he's going to do everything in his power to ensure her legacy faithfully lives on too. (So her sacrifice for humanity isn't in vain...) That even if mistakes happen, you can still turn things around and start over again to change the course (destination) of your life. Reiterating Rem's very same words/advice to him we saw from his dreams--preaching her belief like a mantra to call forth morale: their 'tickets to the future are always blank.'

Ch08: 'Duelists'

I see this is where Vash's coat gets pelted full of bullet holes! (tattered coat tail aesthetic incoming~) Standing firm in the face of the showering onslaught. The boy gets caught too (so looks like yeah, his directions to Vash were innocent) that BDN commends how far their little ragtag team's gotten, but....tsk tsk "reality isn't so beautiful." OHHHHHH---god, cause remember the whole dreams vs reality thing back with Rem? About which one's idealistic and beautiful vs the one that's terribly harsh and dry?? Aaaa, cause Vash already knows (and feels) living this harsh 'reality' at his core, despite how much he chooses to believe in Rem's dreams too. :')) So he can't be about to die here, is he!?

But what's this? Just when you might've forgotten about the girls, SURPRISE!! Once again they come as (disguised) reinforcements to Vash's aid! 8'D Derringer Meryl & Stungun Milly to his rescue again~ (Just like in the first arc!) Breaking the tension. Hah, it's funny how Meryl 'reminds' Vash to be his 'kind, responsible, peace-loving' adult self again :P to focus his timely priority on stopping the ship. Like she's the one nagging him this time to keep his head in the game, while also announcing his title to everyone else in the entire room. (?! whoa was that wise? now especially BDN knows who he is.)

Curiously, the only thing BDN wants to confirm about him is whether Vash is truly the one responsible for July's destruction, and if so, how did he manage that feat without leaving any bodies/corpses behind? (Oho, and Vash wonders if he's asking for the sake of any lost family...interesting empathetic approach. 👀) But here we see that Vash doesn't know, cause he doesn't remember anything (oop, amnesia~) aside from the debris... Our mysteries still stand. But I like how BDN kinda...takes this as a word of honor, man-to-man kinda deal, promising Vash's request to stop the ship if Vash wins their duel....right outside on the deck!

~Fancy moves~ though, because upon the start of the coin toss, Vash moves behind some flying rocks to shoot and destroy BDN's hidden shoulder guns (his dynamos)...only, ulp! That movement only rips open Vash's previous gut wound. Which BDN notices. Enough that he shoots away any more rubble from crushing Vash (sparing him) as he collapses. Apparently, Vash risking it all even while not at full strength, was enough for BDN to appreciate and honorably concede defeat. Vash's 'flashiness' wins BDN's approval~ ...But the accelerating and dangerously overheating ship still needs to be stopped!!! D:

Ch09: 'Between Wasteland and Sky'

lmao at Meryl grumbling she wants some extra indulgent job compensation to buy herself a fancy prada purse after all this trouble~ ...To listing more and more fancy indulgent things as their situation just goes from bad to worse. :'D IF they can make it out of here alive in one piece without the ship exploding!!! Hah, so shall the ship explode first or fall & crash into the upcoming ravine....even those stakes make Vash's gut-wound hurt all over again~ :P He jokes, he jokes, but still...his wounds close up pretty fast without any obvious...patching up required, even the boy notes that's kinda odd--is Vash really ok? 👀

Still, the Steamer has problems that need to be resolved in two places for stopping it to effectively work. (Basically manually releasing the pressure valve for the brakes, and containing/cutting off the engine's power from overloading the Plant.) The boy wants to take responsibility for allowing this--and the deaths of the ship's crew on his hands, to happen (interestingly, Vash watches all this silently with a knowing look 👀) so even alongside the distrustful crew, the boy's off to take care of one problem the only way he can, while Vash is off to 'babysit' an unruly/selfish 'little girl' from throwing an explosive tantrum~

God, we see some our first up-close Plant fuckery explained--as in a power plant (not leafy garden variety plant, although geo-plants that make greenery for terraforming are a variety shown later in this volume) much like a nuclear reactor or generator, that's able to create things (energy, resources, matter) in a way that surpasses all known physical law. But they're a species of organic creature, harnessed as lost technology, such that no one really understands how they work, and the biggest spooky thing is how they resemble 'the messengers of god' 👀👀 like biblical angels taking feminine form in full body horror glory, while humans are basically co-dependent on these mysterious Plants to even survive on this planet! Whew!

Anyway Vash looks resolutely and suspiciously calm despite all the screaming noise and imminent, critical danger...👀 and also interestingly yes, he refers to the Plant as a 'her' - as a sister with personhood (opposed to an 'it') he treats just as gently as he would any other human in pain or distress. :')) I remember when I first read this part, I was so curiously, morbidly spooked and hooked like 👀👀👀 wondering what in the world Vash even is. What is he even doing!!! Especially with the teasing flare of wings like he's an angel, able to calm down and resonate with such a creature in ways beyond our understanding~ He said he could only 'hold' her for another 4mins, which looks to be temporarily suspending both their heartbeats & breathing rates in tune, almost like within in a trance.

But even with the Plant contained and the brakes finally engaged, it might not be enough to stop in time! GUESS WHO comes in clutch keeping his promise to Vash: BDN himself, ramming his car into the side of the Steamer's hull, to smash it into the side of the canyon just in time before falling off the cliff. So interestingly, all 3 guys--the kid (who almost burned himself), Vash (stopped his heart to contain a nuclear meltdown), and BDN (willingly crashed his car) all made some bold, risky, self-sacrifice plays to cooperatively bring the ship to a halt. :'D (In Stampede, it took the 3 combined roles of Vash, Meryl, and Wolfwood staying on board with some risky moves to stop the ship together too.) Woohoo!! Their course's final destination had been changed~

Ah! Now just how sweet and symbolically fitting it is, that the ending notes to this whole disaster close off with Rem's song. :')) Sung under a wide open sky... Somehow, even the young boy knows of it, that hearing it again moves Vash to tears. Cause he feels he more closely understands her core belief now, about what it means for people to go on living with hope for the future, after seeing it directly play out (and succeed) from this whole experience. Their 'tickets' on the Steamer's doomed course could be changed, with the help of people choosing to come together and work to survive this. :') Humanity can do it, and Rem traded her life believing that they could, for the chance that humanity could even have that hopeful 'blank ticket' for the future too. And I feel I better understand now, the significance of Rem being introduced in this arc that metaphorically puts her beliefs into practice. So thank you Sand Steamer arc for showing us and Vash more of the way!

[The next arc with the geo-plant mission focuses on Meryl--paralleling Vash, choosing to lead her own 'blank ticket' course in life with greater hope & confidence too! Continued here.]

#trigun #commentary #trigunbookclub #meta #long text post #WHEW that was a huge mental doozy but now i feel ready to continue onto vol2

[frstcorinthians]

fic writer ask !

thank youuu @almost-a-class-act !!

How many works do you have on AO3? just six! i haven't been posting for long

What's your total AO3 word count? roughly 48.6k

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. graveyard shift - which still surprises me lmfao it's the oldest one i have so i guess it makes sense?? the people are clamoring for fun retail worker content 2. cowboy cassanova - i still dont think i spelled that correctly. alas. jake seresin nation rise up 3. rest your head one more time - and here comes rooster with the steel chair! 4. maybe everything that dies someday comes back - i Will get this to the number one spot its literally the best thing ive ever written and ive barely started 5. angels that have no place - coming in clutch, my most recent fic

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? YESSS i love them i always reply they make my heart very full

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? i think the answer has to be the half-dozen ive left fully unfinished. nothing more depressing than that

What the fic you've written with the happiest ending? probably angels, given that it's the only one i actually finished. winning by default, it would seem

Do you write crossovers? i don't currently but there's still time. i'm not opposed to it!! i just havent gotten around to it yet

Have you ever received hate on a fic? nope! there's still time

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i do lmfao i don't think its very good?? but its usually surrounded by at least a semblance of plot

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not yet. there'd better not be time for this one.

Have you ever had a fic translated? no, unfortunately!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? also no but....if anyone's out there......

What's your all-time favorite ship? OH MANNNN i don't even know

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? rosary-strung, my weird nonsensical self-indulgent sandman fic. maybe once season 2 comes out i'll get sucked back into it? it needs some serious reshaping and revision to make it make sense at all, though

What are your writing strengths? i think i'm good at describing feelings! i think i tend to use weirdly specific metaphors and sensations when i describe them, so i think it sticks in the mind well.

What are your writing weaknesses? i'm bad at getting everything i'm thinking/picturing out onto the page, as in i'll make some jumps that make sense to me because i can see the whole picture in my head, but i forget to put them down onto paper, so the reader is like "what..just happened"

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i wouldn't dare, unless it's like a canonical thing a character does? like if its a term of endearment or something, that's a thing real people i know in real life do sometimes, so it wouldn't seem so out of place i think.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? wayyyy back when in elementary school i wrote REAMS of h*rr* p*tt*r fanfiction. in my defense i was in north carolina and ten.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? the pacific! i'm finally watching it now and there's a lot more to chew on and wrestle with, which is...maybe not a thing for fic to do; or maybe it's the thing only fic can do. we'll see. also mota because some ocs have wandered into my mind and won't leave. they also won't pay rent help

What's your favorite fic you've written? my nebraska fic, hands down. its my baby my everything my darling my firstborn. i love her and she loves me.

i will humbly tag @venus-haze @blood-mocha-latte @shoshiwrites and @latibvles !! if you've already been tagged my apologies it's late late late in north carolina

#aleks.txt #whew this one was a doozy and also a fun trip down memory lane #aleks.chat

[adrift-in-thyme]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Here’s a bit from the upcoming Give the Lion Fangs chapter

Crimson levels his golden gaze on the hero now, something warm within it.

“I had one other rider before you, little hero. My first, chosen during a battle for Hyrule’s fate. But he died a long time ago, eons before you were born. I saw no reason to share such a tale with you. He swore to ride with me forever and neglected to keep that promise. That is hardly the most encouraging story for a young rider.”

“That means you…” Sky drags his gaze over to Link. “You were his first rider. The rider who…who died.”

A beat passes. Then, suddenly, his eyes blow wide as the realization hits. He gasps.

“You’re the first hero, aren’t you? The one from the stories I heard as a kid?” He takes a step forward, eagerness in the movement. “That’s how you knew about the Skyward Strike!”

And here it is, the moment he has been dreading. Link smirks, bitter and guarded. He almost feels numb, now, calm in the face of what is coming.

“You are correct, Knight of Skyloft. I am the First Hero.”

#whew this one’s been a doozy #it’s hard trying to shove so much plot into one chapter #but I don’t feel like it should be two #still hoping to be able to publish this on Sunday #trin writes #linked universe #lu first #lu sky #first meets the chain au #wip wednesday

[marcmorrigan]

various ygo sketches and WIPs and such... love 2 draw these kids in ridiculous outfits obviously. i will finish these eventually 😤😤😤

#ygo #yugioh #ygo dm #ygo 5ds #ygo gx #bonds beyond time #my art #oh boy tagging characters on this is gonna be a doozy #ryou bakura #marik ishtar #atem #yami yugi #tea gardner #yugi mutoh #joey wheeler #tristan taylor #yusei fudo #jaden yuki #WHEW!!! <--- as though i said all those in one breath #i lov yugioh so much... its so crazy theres not a single seto in this. i cant draw him bc i get giggly and distracted oop <3 #anyway i am CHUGGING THRU that marik/bakura one and will hopefully have it done and posted soonish #and then i might try to finish the one of the nerd herd!!! its a cute sketch and its from like. at least a year ago lol #and i LOOOVE the concept + the faces on tristan and joey... yugi is also cute but he and tea are less cleaned up obvs #i kind of like the idea of doing a little series of like... scrapbook photo-y polaroid vibes drawings of the DM cast #and that one + the marik/bakura one fit that vibe rlly well... i HAVE to do some kaibas for it if i do that tho. vital #ALSO IN CASE ANYONE IS WONDERING yes that is yami/atem as jareth from labyrinth... i have thoughts and theories #and a deep love for jim henson and 80s fantasy in general lol... that dark fantasy vibe suits ygo rlly well ugh. i lov it #i also love. bonds beyond time lololol. AND SPECIFICALLY... BONDS BEYOND TIME ABRIDGED... my go-to autism movie. i can recite the dialogue #i lov the idea of the protags being celebrity friends who hang out on the tournament/con circuit... #hand signs r supposed to be ✌🏻💖🤘🏻 but yuseis looks more like 🤟🏻 QAQ. and i think i literally refd gene simmons 4 him lol. oops!!!

[drunkonschadenfreude]

reached an extremely funny part of tumblr

#the interaction under this post is a doozy #the first one is genuinely funny #the second confuses me because how do you both use the quintessential antideutsche parole and then complain about antideutsche #the third one straight up implies the existence of jews in a society is a punishment for that society which. whew. whew lad

[snowangeldotmp3]

since you requested ronance asks: robin confronts nancy about why she throws herself headfirst into danger without thinking to save other people. they argue about it. nancy finally admits that it's because she can't lose anyone else to this shit. they collapse in each other's arms and just hold each other. they're both traumatized. but they're together in this. it's a moment of clarity for both of them.

first off, obsessed with the halloween themed username. werewolf robin stans RISE.

second. i had to open up a word doc to write some of this down, bc i'd imagine it goes like this:

“are you out of your mind?” she spits at robin, who’s equally as furious. they've just come back from another demogorgon hunt. robin opens her mouth to fire back, but nancy beats her to it. 

“you could’ve been killed!”

“yeah, but i wasn’t! so it’s no big deal.” 

nancy spins on her heel. “it is! it is a big deal. “

“how, nancy? how is it such a big deal that i saved you?”

“because that’s not your job,” nancy hisses, dangerously close to robin’s face, “it’s mine.”

robin stops, anger melting away at the admission. nancy seethes, nostrils flaring and jaw clenching.

“nance…” she reaches out, hand hovering on nancy’s shaking form. nancy shrugs her hand off, refusing to look up at robin.

she knows nancy. knows she doesn’t like being vulnerable, knows she doesn’t like feeling weak. nancy’s not weak, that’s for damn sure. but no matter how many times robin’s tried to explain to her than emotion does not equal weakness, nancy’s still always incredibly hesitant to open up.

robin doesn’t blame her. she’s met ted wheeler.

this feels different though, different from their emotional late night talks. this feels heavier. robin can feel it. the weight of it hangs in the air in-between them.

nancy looks back up at robin, tears threatening to spill, bottom lip downturned, quivering. “i can’t,” she chokes out, “i can’t lose you. i can’t. i’m supposed to protect everyone and i can’t do that if you’re out here running around like a self-sacrificial idiot. i can handle myself.”

robin’s heart shatters. nancy thinks she has to handle things by herself. robin wants to let her know that she doesn’t have to. nancy sniffles, returning her gaze to the ground.

“nance, i used myself as a distraction because it was heading straight for you.”

“yeah, and you shouldn’t have done—“

“let me finish,” robin inhales deeply, steadying herself before she loses her confidence, “nance, you can’t protect anyone if you’re dead.”

robin must strike a nerve, because nancy breaks. she sobs, robin wraps herself around nancy in a bone crushing hug. nancy sobs and sobs and sobs. robin knows at one point she’s crying too. she doesn’t have the words for this, not yet anyway. she hopes nancy can pick up everything she can’t say. i’m sorry. i’m here for you. don’t leave me. i love you, i love you, i love you.

they stay like that, holding onto one another. anchoring them to each other. robins not sure for how long. they sway in the kitchen, just the tiniest bit. robin, in a moment of bravery and love, plants the softest kiss to brunette curls.

“you’re not gonna lose me, nancy wheeler.” it’s a promise. a threat to all the shit they’ve seen, everything that they still have to see.

“you’re not gonna lose me either, robin buckley.” nancy mumbles into the shoulder of robins sweater.

robin smiles softly. nancy means it. they’re stuck with each other now.

robin finds that she can live with that.

#got mail! 📩 #werewolflesbianrobin #WHEW that was a doozy. sorry it took so long. i kept getting distracted. #gonna be honest. i misread the ask at first. so thats why nancy blows up at robin 😅 #anyways. hope u enjoy!! #stranger things #robin buckley #ronance #nancy wheeler #i might post this little guy to ao3 too tbh

[the-official-account]

Breaking in Breaking Cadewyn

ALBERTXANDER IS A FRIEND NOW i love this already

I fucking forgot that Iris looks like a poodle moth until just now im obsessed. ASCE USES ANY PRONOUNS TOO represent bestie. one of us!

ooooh the gamblers card seems cool as fuck.

ASCE IS A FUCKING CATTTTTTT OH MY GOD

asce with his fucking kitty cat voice im...im in love with him holy shit

the quiet "I guess the cat's outa the bag now" ansdfahjsdlf;ja

miss keisha....mis kiesha.... oh my fucking god he went to fucking space

asce SPECIFICALLY REQUIESTED to work with cadewyna sdfjhasdlgfhasdf

no farmer needed askrghsdfghag

the amount of fucking drive they spent on this emaciated man holy shit

in the highest octave possible "HOW?? HOW?? IT A DESK??? IT DOESNT MOVE???"

Is this evil toaster like a person???

CADEWYN VANISHED??? holy shit cadewyn

IS CADEWYN TINY???? asce should eat himas dfbasdfasdf

holy shit they REALLY dont want you to talk that building

*iris casually considers murder*

okay no cadewyn giving this brother backstory with cadewyn taking the fall is making me OBSESSED angorad? I.....Okay like im obsessed.

whyyyyy is everyyything trying to kill cadewyn????

alddfshgaldsgjasdfl THINKING GUN THOUGHTS

i DO NOT like this mr potato head thing

iris just fucking murdered those guards, huh?

"you nimbly kitty out of the way" [everyone make dodging kitty sounds] asdfasdflhjd

I think kitty asce deserves ALL of the weapons, sword cat FOR life

HIS SILK BOXERS WHICH H AVE KEEBLER ELVES ON THEM ASFGADFADSFGASFG

THE DOUBLE DECKER DESK NEXT TO THE DESKLESS CUBICLE IS FUCKING SENDING ME, HELPPPPP IM IN THE MAILLLLLL

a relatively short liveblog for such a long episode, So much of this was me sitting there going 0.0 (and then proceeding to stab myself in the fingers because I am embroidering and not vey rgood at it.) i am so SO excited to see these guys again. I might actually go back and edit the fic I have so that iris is in it because shes SO good and there's already a perfect spot for her. And Cadewyn and Asce are giving me ideaaaas. Like fuck. These guys are so so good.

#is this...is this the last liveblog? #theres still the novella and bloopers I haven't finished so not exaaactly #but WHEW asdljfhasjldfhalsdfhaksdf #this one was a doozy #that episode name sure can name!!!!! #edil chats #edil liveblogs three of hearts #three of hearts #three of hearts pod

[angelsaxis]

god im remembering how during my internship i literally read so many manuscripts that were just blatantly racist and/or misogynistic. those were the two most common reasons i voted no (besides them being generally bad). also someone subbed a reylo fic and i rejected that the second i figured it out

#angel posts #WHEW some of these were a doozy #multple i had to drop before the min page limit because they were WILDLY unsalvageable i was like yeah hi. i cant do this #for my own sanity

[rootlessly]

things (feat. face pic) —

been doing a lot of emotional processing lately and it’s leaving me drained. i recently realized that there’s a lot that i still haven’t dealt with; things i pushed aside or hid from that are starting to bubble to the surface.

i want so badly to write again. i start, i manage to churn something out, and then i freeze. it’s because i want my writing to be as good as it was around the time i stopped blogging. of course, i’m out of practice and it’s normal to be rusty. i don’t want to let my fear of “not good enough” keep me from trying.

i’m also feeling sentimental. and needy. and lost. and truthfully, typing these feelings out on the internet is making me physically cringe, but i’m tired of feigning nonchalance. i liked who i was when i was willing to let my emotions move through me instead of resisting them. i liked who i was when i had the courage to sit with my discomfort and allow myself to be witnessed by others.

writing is what helped me become that version of myself i loved so much, and i want to find her again.

#whew what a doozy #don’t mind me🥲 #me

[chryblossomjjk]

hi love! How much more of the weekend do you have left?

hi friend!! i've been making lots of progress lately!! about 1k words a day (which is a lot for me lol)!! i think i have maybe like... 3k-4k words left probably? so it should be done p soon! <3

#anon #fic: the weekend #get out ur tissues friends !!! #is a doozy #theres a song that gets mentioned in it #u have to listen to it after u read bc... #shit kinda has me tearing up WHEW

[zensations35]

4, 14, 65, 69?

4: Are you insecure?

Absolutely. 120%. Always.

14: Do you miss someone?

I don't miss the person. I miss having a connection with another writer; I miss having someone who cared about my work, my OCs, my worlds, enough to continuously ask about them. But I don't miss the person at all.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you. What do you do?

Throuple!! (half joking, it really depends on the situation)

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I'm sensing a pattern with these asks...haha. Actually, yes I believe in soulmates, but I do NOT believe they're specifically romantic. I think we can have soulmate friends. Soulmate siblings. Soulmate business partners. The term "Soulmate" to me, just means "Perfect Mesh", and I think that can be any relationship.

I do NOT believe that there is ONE person for everyone. I think love and partnerships take time, communication, and compromise. Love can happen anywhere.

#zen answers #ask #horrible questions #whew these were kinda doozies #thanks for the asks!