#Which was annoying making them because Margaret only shows up so many times

[lucreziaq2001]

•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: Mentions of a baby who died in his mother's womb around 37 weeks into the pregnancy, his mom going through the whole pregnancy without a partner or spouse by her side (by choice), her having to give birth to her son after having found out he had passed away, her having to leave him at the hospital and go back home, mentions of a baby's funeral, her feelings after the loss of her baby (grief, wanting to isolate her friends and many others), her accepting to meet her friend's newborn baby, but entering into a delusion in which that child is her son, her baby watching over her from Heaven and praying she'll be okay one day and her finally letting out all her feelings with one of her two closest friends helping her.

•This One Shot is an AU in which JJ and Will's second baby didn't die and was born alive in mid 2011. I named her Margaret because Maggie, the name JJ said she would have given her in the show, is not a full name, it's more of a nickname and it is her nickname here too. Emily also didn't go through the "thing" with Ian Doyle and JJ didn't have to leave her team in this story.

•I know JJ and Will weren't married yet in 2011, but to make things easier for myself, I chose to refer to him as her husband, since that's what many people do in my country with live-in partners, mostly if they have kids together. I hope this doesn't bother you.

•I don't fully know how maternity leave works in the USA, especially for an FBI agent, so I made those details up. If you know more about this, feel free to correct me, though.

•I don't know if Emily was religious in "Criminal minds", but even not religious people say that their dead loved ones are in Heaven, so I used that word around the end of the story.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @arabellavernierwrites (who helped me write this a pretty long time ago), @asolitaryrose3, @oneshotnewbie, @whotfskai, @marril96, @babiebom.

Until they'd meet again

On July 5, 2011, her first day back at work after her five-weeks-long leave, when Emily Prentiss walked into the bullpen, the first thing she would have liked to do was scream as loud as she could.

Why?

Well, because not really knowing what to say to her, all her co-workers and friends just asked "Are you alright?".

What Emily would have wanted to say was "No, I'm not! Who the hell would be alright just one month after their baby's death?!?", but to avoid worrying her friends and most of all, knowing they wouldn't have been able to understand what she was going through, what she ended up telling them was just "Yes, I'm okay".

She knew they didn't believe her, also because she wasn't able to look them in the eye while saying that.

Most of them were FBI profilers, after all.

Analyzing human behavior was their job.

None of them pressured her to open up, though, and Emily was partly happy, partly annoyed by that.

Less than half an hour after she had arrived at the office, she was already convinced that the worst part of her day was going to be having to stay at work, around people who didn't know how to talk to her, but shot pity-filled looks at her every few minutes, while all she actually wanted to do was go back home, the only place were she would have been alone, lay in bed and just miss her baby boy.

Her beloved Isaac, whom she had gotten pregnant with thanks to a sperm donor, had died in her womb in late May of that year.

His mother had found out about that on May 28, exactly thirty-eight weeks into her -at least until then- healthy pregnancy.

Hearing her doctor say "I'm so sorry. There is no heartbeat" had been more devastating than anything she had ever been through to Emily, and finding out she still had to deliver her son was even harder.

After two days spent locked up in her apartment, mostly crying and staring mindlessly at the TV, in the late afternoon of May 30, Emily had gone to the hospital to give birth to her much loved and wanted little boy.

The next morning, at 10:40 am, Isaac William Prentiss had come into the world, lifeless, but still perfect in his mother's eyes.

For the next two days, Emily held him every second she could, trying to memorize every single one of his features, talking and singing to him and taking more pictures than she could have counted.

Then, the time had come to say goodbye, and leaving Isaac to the nurses while she went back home was one more heartbreak for her to deal with.

For almost five whole weeks, she stayed cooped up in her house, only going out on the day of Isaac's funeral and one evening because her friend Penelope had basically forced her to go out with her.

That night, Emily had just wanted to go home as soon as possible, but on her first day back at work, in spite of her still very present heartbreak, she craved nothing more than to have normalcy and a healthy routine again.

That was why, although it had only been a little over a month since her son had passed and she would have had the right to three more weeks of paid leave, she had insisted on returning to the bureau.

There, however, everyone was tip-toeing around her, going the extra mile to make sure everything within their job maintained some sense of balance.

The team was trying their hardest to provide stability to the grieving mother Emily now was.

The next day, however, their friend and co-worker JJ, who had given birth to her daughter Margaret just three weeks prior, had decided to come see them.

She hadn't brought the baby with her, but she knew she was going to have to bring her up at some point.

Everyone else on the team had already been to her house to meet little Margaret for the first time, and JJ was now nauseous at the idea of having to find a way to invite Emily's freshly broken heart.

"Emily" she said, tapping softly on the door to her friend's office "Can I talk to you real quick before I go back home?".

Hardly looking up from her papers, Emily nodded and just responded with "Of course".

JJ timidly entered the room, still unsure of how to say what she wanted to tell the older woman.

"I thought now would be a good time to talk to you about this. As you know, I just had a baby. If you refuse, I understand. I want you to do what's best for you now. Don’t feel pressured or think that you somehow have to spare my feelings in any way-" she started to explain, but Emily soon interrupted her.

"JJ" she told her "You can ask the question".

JJ swallowed intensely.

"Would you like to meet my daughter?" she then asked.

Even though she had given her friend permission to ask her that, when she heard those words, Emily felt like she had just been punched in the stomach.

She tried to hide the fact that that question had knocked the wind out of her, but even a brief mention of a baby was enough to send her back into the pit of despair she was actively trying to claw her way out of.

"I can’t wait" she still forced herself to say, giving JJ a half-fake smile.

She was genuinely happy for her, but also fighting a losing battle inside.

The idea of her friend's new baby stormed up inside Emily.

She remembered what it felt like to hold her little one for the first time, his soft skin, his tiny fingers and toes and his impossibly long eyelashes.

He was perfect, but no screams had come from him.

Unlike all the other babies there that day, he hadn't been born alive.

So much of Emily was happy that JJ was getting to experience becoming the mother of an alive baby for the second baby.

One of the most precious things life could offer was in the palms of her friend's hands.

But still, heartache consumed her.

She was devastated that there was still so much life and beauty in the world, when she had just had to experience a death so earth-shattering.

The idea of meeting JJ's baby made Emily's heart race, but still, she agreed to do it, and a few hours later, there she was, sitting on JJ's couch, an evening full of homecooked meals and genuine conversation leading her up to that point.

"Here she is, Auntie Emily" JJ told her with a smile on her face, placing her baby girl into Emily's protective arms.

The older woman's first reaction to that was a chuckle of disbelief she just couldn't hold in.

Her mind twisted at the memory of her own sweet baby, the one that she had been grieving so violently over.

She wasn’t sure what it was, motherly hormones or just pure reality-distorting heartbreak, but she felt like she was holding her late son.

That thought poisoned her mind, the maternal instinct pumping through her veins, her heart intertwining with the one of the baby in her arms.

"She’s perfect" Emily whispered, overcome with emotion.

"She is, isn’t she?" JJ replied with a smile on her face, taking a seat in a chair across the room, keeping an affectionate eye on the two of them.

"You're just the sweetest thing, aren’t you?" Emily then cooed, completely enamored with the infant in her arms.

She felt like she was getting sucked deeper into the sickening hole of motherly grief.

She didn’t feel real anymore and to her, the baby she was holding wasn't JJ's daughter.

It was her son.

Her innocent child she should have protected from all things evil in the world.

Now she had a second chance, and anyone and anything that would have even tried to harm that baby would have died at her hands before being able to come near the child.

"You just need someone to keep your little heart safe, sweet boy" she cooed as she stroked the baby's big, round cheeks with love "You need your mommy to keep you safe".

By that point, JJ had become weary of her friend's behavior, since she had witnessed a shift behind her grieving eyes.

"Will, how about you go upstairs to see if Henry is sleeping?" she decided to tell her husband, mostly wishing to salvage the image of her co-worker, not wanting anyone else to have to witness what she pretty much knew was coming.

"I can protect you, my son" Emily then promised, still looking at the baby with so much love in her eyes "As your mommy, I swear I won’t let anything ever hurt you".

"I think it’s time she goes back to bed, Honey" JJ tried to tell her, wanting to get her baby back into the hands of someone with a more present mind.

"I can’t" Emily replied, her eyes filling up with tears "I can’t have my baby taken from me again".

"Don’t you want us to have our baby back?" Will, who had come back downstairs by that time attempted to ask her.

As a response, however, Emily shook her head.

"No, he is mine!" she then exclaimed "I have to protect my baby!".

"Come on, she needs some rest" JJ told her, gently rubbing her back.

Suddenly, Emily’s brain felt like it could have exploded.

It was so full of heartbreak, confusion and despair.

The thoughts that had been racing through her mind for weeks pounded on the walls of her skull, desperate for an escape from the pain that brewed in her mind.

She just wanted something she could hold on to, something that she could have a second chance at, something that would stay alive.

"No, I can’t" Emily told her, tears streaming down her face by that time.

All the sternness in her voice had disappeared and there was nothing in her tone except pure defeat.

That was when JJ knew she wasn’t just talking about the baby.

She was talking about everything she had experienced since the day she had found out Isaac had passed away.

Everything that had swept her off her feet in the tornado of losing a child.

She couldn’t do it any more.

She couldn’t live with that missing piece in her life.

She couldn’t plaster on a smile and show up to work like she hadn't just lost the person she loved the most.

JJ was careful, removing her baby from Emily’s arms and quickly giving her to her husband, who took her upstairs to give the two women a moment alone.

"I can't do this" Emily sobbed, her figure collapsing entirely against her friend.

Her body heaved violently as everything that had been building up was let go.

The excruciating experience of losing her baby boy had broken her.

Maybe one day there would have been a way out of all the pain she was experiencing, but at that moment, everything around her seemed dark and the only good things were JJ's arms around her and the fact that in a way, she still had her baby boy in her life.

He was watching her from Heaven, loving on his mommy and praying for her to be able to find peace and the strenght to wait until they were meant to meet again.

[silikat]

Margaret and @screenshotsofdespair

(Previous: Jaeris, 90s Dude)

#AT4W #Atop the Fourth Wall #Linkara #I had too many to fit in the photoset for Margaret #Which was annoying making them because Margaret only shows up so many times #BUT LIKE I LOVE HER SO MUCH #Rewatching clips to get these screenshots was fun #I really noticed this time around how good an actor the kid playing Margaret is #Especially in her last two appearances #Also: Erin and 90s Dude's faces in the background there are Big Mood

[emmithar-blog]

Low Honor Arthur

Let's take a moment and talk about Low Honor Arthur. This is simply my take and nothing more.

One of the things I hear quite often is that 'Low Honor Arthur' feels wrong and doesn't seem to fit the general flow of the story. It goes against what Dutch (prior to his breakdown) and Hosea often preach, and against many of the things Arthur calls out during the game (Reprimanding Sadie for wanting to rob the general store, chastising Micah for the Strawberry incident, disagreeing with Dutch on multiple accounts). Sure, it's fun being the big bad gunslinger and tearing through the towns and causing trouble, but it's jarring from a story point to go from a cold-blooded murderer to helping a photographer take pictures of animals in the middle of nowhere.

Which leads to my perception of Low Honor Arthur. Rather than being an evil, bloodthirsty murderer, I see him more as someone who doesn't care. He's a disgruntled worker who's long grown tired of the song and dance and false bravado put out by Dutch and the others. He's very aware that they are the 'bad guys' and there's no amount of preaching that can convince him otherwise.

Arthur makes a comment to John that he was once the 'Golden Boy'. Now he's just the work horse. He's tired, burnt out, and he simply doesn't care anymore. He shows up when asked and does the bare minimum to not be called out, and if he does? Well, he's got plenty of excuses to use. (I've been sorta busy, ect)

Think for a moment about how the honor system works – you get honor by doing camp chores. By greeting folk in town or on the road. For donating money to the camp. For helping strangers who are bitten or lost or had their horse die beneath them and need a ride into town. High Honor Arthur isn't just about doing the 'right' thing, but more about the 'selfless thing'.

Ergo – Low Honor Arthur isn't 'evil', he's just selfish. For example – he wouldn't do chores. He's been with the gang long enough he has a bit of seniority and as far as he's concerned, other folk can get off their lazy bums and do them. Despite preaching about donating to camp, Low Honor Arthur doesn't – why should he? As a senior member, he takes his fair share and keeps it. There's enough folk about to donate, so why should he bother?

When he's out and about on the road, he's not inclined to stop and help the man bitten by the snake or stuck in a bear trap. It was their damn fault in the first place and he's not going to suck venom out of a stranger's leg or risk losing his fingers. As for the young miss who needs a ride into town? He's got no time for that. It's out of the way and he has no obligation to her. She has perfectly good working legs so she can walk or find some other poor soul to take her.

Would Arthur rob her?

Perhaps.

If it seems like there's something of worth/value she's carrying and there's nobody around to witness. He wouldn't kill her, though. This belief is supported by the fact he questions Dutch for killing Heidi and calls him out for murdering the woman on Guarma. So no, I don't support the fact that Low Honor Arthur would murder random women. Nor would he stroll into town and try to gun everyone down because he's not suicidal.

Robbing side businesses? Sure – they're shady to start, so they were asking to be robbed. Beating up/shooting folk that run their mouth? Certainly. Arthur isn't one to take abuse and he's not afraid to stand up for himself. After all, they shoot folk as need shooting, right?

But only those that annoy him.

Not everyone annoys him though. Some folk he finds interesting.

Mason, for example. He's intrigued by what the man's doing and genuinely finds Mason and his work interesting. The same goes for Jeremy Gill and all his fish. He wants to the truth behind Jim 'Boy' Calloway. He wants to see what new 'creature' the dinosaur bones will make. He has childlike joy when helping Marko Dragic. Not to mention Miss Margaret.

All these and more follow a similar theme. They're out of the ordinary; something different and a bit strange. Sort of like a puzzle. Arthur's bored of his place in life (and in the gang) and he wants something new. The stranger missions provide these and Arthur persues them because he finds them interesting. It once again comes down to him being selfish.

His lack of concern, the fact he's out for himself explains how he can go from cruel to 'preaching' during missions. To me, this fits better. Not to mention that you don't have to go out and constantly shoot people to achieve low honor. This comes naturally as you progress the game and complete challenges (Bandit challenges, am I right?)

At any rate; this ended up being a fair bit longer than I intended and it's late so I'm tired, but yeah...enjoy my ramblings and share your own thoughts with me :)

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #fan theory #low honor arthur #rambling thoughts

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi!! i recently got into johnlock and the universe has somehow directed me to your blog (which is an absolute godsend omfg). have you got any good possessive!john fics?

Hi Lovely!!!

AHHHH!! I’m so glad you enjoy my blog!!! <3 Thank you so much! <3

AHHH you know what??? I don’t get asked this all that much at all! I think mostly because it’s easier to find Possessive Sherlock fics and people then just... forget LOL

So guess what?? You’re the prompter for any fics I actually tagged or filed with Possessive John! <3 A pioneer you are! LOL I’m combining it with a few of the Obsessive fics as well, since I don’t have many new ones.

As usual, gang, feel free to add your own!! <3

POSSESSIVE / OBSESSIVE JOHN

See also: 

Specifically Jealous John b/c of Other People

Jealous John

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Display by 221b_hound (E, 2,377 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Tattoos, Public Hand Jobs, Exhibitionism, Possessive Sex, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John) – A new client has been flirting with Sherlock and, finding no joy there, with John. John seems annoyed to be second-best, Sherlock thinks, so Sherlock decides to give the departing woman (and maybe also John) a demonstration of who, exactly, John belongs to. But there's more than one level of sexual jealousy and more than one display of possession going on here, outlined in the window of 221b Baker Street. Part 2 of Lock and Key

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w.,1 Ch. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

Caves in the Mountains Are Seldom Unoccupied by starrysummernights & TheMadKatter13 (E, 7,925 w., 1 Ch. || Were-Creatures ||  Werebear John, Pseudo Bestiality, Rimming, Heavy Dub Con, Rough Sex, Come Inflation / Eating, Size Kink, PWP, Bratty Sherlock, Rutting) – “This isn’t something to play at, Sherlock,” he snapped. “If it doesn’t work out- what you’re asking of me- we can’t shrug and say 'oh well, at least we tried'. If we do this… I could seriously hurt you. Do you understand? I could lose control. I could… I could kill you.”

My Life for His by QuinnAnderson (E, 8,816 w., 1 Ch. || Guardian/Protector, Greek Mythology || Growing Up, Sex, Religious Themes, Suicide, Minor Character Death) – It began when Sherlock was eight, and he attempted to climb all the way up to the highest branch in the old willow tree in his back garden. He'd thought he was still small enough that it could support him, but the second he'd grabbed hold of it to pull himself up, the branch snapped, and down he went, plummeting a solid twenty metres. The odd thing was, he never actually hit the ground.

Of Course I Forgive You by allonsys_girl (E, 10,735 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Canon Divergence, First Time, Frottage, Wall Sex, Infidelity) – What if things had gone differently on that train car?

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending, Obsessive John) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time, Obsessive John) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That's all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition. (PUBLISHED AS ‘The Sea Ain’t Mine Alone’)

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

Free Falling by twistedthicket1 (M, 203,574 w., 38 Ch. || Guardian Angels AU || Guardian Angel John, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Kidlock / Teenlock, Light Mystrade, Passage of Time, Possessive John, Drug Use / Overdose, Victor Trevor, Graphic Bullying, Big Brother Mycroft, Hard Drug Use, Depression, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John, Panic Attacks, Nightmares/PTSD, Pining, Healing Abilities, Kidnapping, Violence, Torture, Blow Jobs, Virgin John, Emotional Development / Attachment, Mortality, Happy Ending) – All Guardian angels are born with a Chosen human. When this child is born, the angel comes into being to protect and care for them during their life on Earth. For John Watson, all he cares about in the world revolves around his Chosen, Sherlock Holmes. Watching him grow up though, the angel soon learns that God must have had a sense of humour the day he decided to make Sherlock, as trouble seems to follow him like a magnet wherever he goes. John can't decide what's worse, the idea of losing his Chosen one, or the fact that he may be breaking the most taboo law of heaven as he disguises himself as a human to better protect and befriend the beloved detective he's always watched from afar. He was meant to care for him. But what happens when caring evolves into something more? What happens when an emotion an angel is supposed to be incapable of possessing comes to life suddenly and viciously inside John's chest?

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #possessive john #my fic recs #safebannie

[liptonsbabe]

Chains of a family [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Grant! Reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Summary: The reader has left the burrow trying to hide from Molly’s harsh comments. Bill’s mom doesn’t want his son near you cause she thinks you’ll hurt him judging you for your family reputation. Arthur thinks differenly so he’ll try to make amends between you two

Word count: 3.4 k. Too long I’M SORRY

Warnings: none

English not my mother language so pleeeeese tell me if something’s wrong

A/N: Hey! Another chapter for you’all. Thanks for keep reading this. The next part will be updated soon and yeah, hope you like it! If you want to be tagged just tell me and i’ll do so :D

Chapter 3: Expectations

It was bitterly cold outside the burrow, and you wondered if winter had come early. Your icy hands clenched your sides, refusing to go back inside even if your knuckles burned and your bare feet began to crack from the hardness of the grass on your soles.

You walked on the grass feeling the dew wetting your fingertips. On the other side of the garden the gnomes were burying one of Molly's ornaments with what, you guessed, the woman would be very angry when she found out, but no more than she already was. Molly's words were harsh. Even if her intention was not to make you feel bad, she had managed to put a huge weight on your stomach after the fight.

You didn't blame her, it was almost certain that Molly would react that way, however, you hoped that within her there was a bit of empathy for the situation you were experiencing with your family. It wasn’t easy for anyone to go through a war that could have been avoided in one way or another, however, for the Grants it was an even more difficult challenge knowing that the trigger for such a war was grandpa Tim Grant's half brother.

You walked around the house, crossing the barnyard, watching the chickens peck at a rubber boot on a very rusty cauldron. The cornfield grasses moved with the wind at the same rate. From right to left, right to left, right to left and then they changed the rhythm from left to right, left to right, left to right ...

The barn was just behind the thick grass rising into an old stone sty, which had several crooked stories attached to it. Four or five chimneys dotted the roof of the cellar, and most likely the entire building was held up by magic due to its crazy bolt-on construction. You took a look back at the main entrance of the house where you could hear the voices of Bill's brothers next to Molly's, deciding to get away from the Weasleys before starting a new fight.

You crossed the cornfield finding a pond full of frogs that you dodged with a little scream and a ballerina jump. Then you came across an old broom shed that was half stowed and a pervasive smell. You headed there, thinking of helping out with the cleaning and wasting some time in the process until William came home from the ministry in the early afternoon.

The brooms were on top of each other in a corner of the shed where the garden gnomes used them to play with each other. One of the gnomes had gotten a match with which he had managed to light a couple of strands of the broom of one of the twins -You knew it because each of the brooms had the initials of Molly's children painted on the base. That one had a huge G in the center - which soon expanded into the rest of the broom's dark fibers. You immediately turned it off earning yourself a tiny kick from the gnome.

The smoke from the fire mixed with dust, and the foul smell of expired wax made your eyes water . You wondered vaguely when was the last time that place had been cleaned up, however, the density of the raised dust and the rottenness of the broom wax on the floor told you about the nonexistence maintenance of the shed. The orchard was contained within a paddock, so you assumed there would be no problem cleaning it up later.

You collected each thing by hand placing them where you thought they should go. You finished cleaning the shed earlier than expected, securing the door when exiting to prevent the gnomes from entering and destroying everything again.

You continued your way in a straight line until you reached the barn where a thick layer of dust hid the doorknob. You opened the warehouse with your wand finding the worst scenario ever imagined. The walls were hidden in ghastly cobwebs, the shelves were clothed in huge mountains of dust, and Muggle stuff were strewn everywhere. Mr. Weasley's old Ford Anglia was on the left side of the barn,  storing certain flying objects that you couldn't recognize from the cloud of dust that rose and entered to your eyes.

Well, that seemed like an even bigger challenge than the shed on the other side of the garden. You started by washing the car using your wand to launch several aguamentis causing a waterfall of mud falling from the roof to the fender. Then the car doors flapped open like a pair of wings, letting out the flying objects. You raised your wand by closing the barn door blockig them the exit and initiating a chase that lasted a couple of hours to catch each object, throw it inside the Ford Anglia and finish polishing the hood before the flying, spoiled car got upset.

You forgot the last time you helped your household servants clean a simple fireplace ornament. Years before, when you were little and your brothers liked to spend time together, you helped the butler to clean some objects in the house because it was more fun when you formed competitions between you, Anthon and Margaret to know which of you cleaned the house ¿faster . You had fun and old Alfred got less tired. But that was a long time ago and in the present you didn’t remember what was the proper order of cleaning.

You were lugging box after box for several hours getting a terrible allergy in the process. The last box was made of recyclable paper where you put Mr. Weasley's old newspapers and Molly's worn recipes. You carried them to the fourth shelf from the right, previously cleaned, raising it with both hands. A speck of dust flew across the room, stopping on your nose causing you to sneeze so hard you fell backwards with the box on your face. The papers flew around the corners causing a disaster worse than the initial one.

“Shit”

You stayed lying on the floor taking the box off your face staring at the ceiling. Undoubtedly that would be a difficult life without anyone to help you doing the things more than yourself, however you were willing to try ‘cause you didn’t want to return home where things were simple but with a high cost. You weren't sure you wanted to trade your freedom for a few extra comforts. You let out a sigh ready to stand up when a singular sheet of a recent newspaper flew towards you, stopping on your chest. You caught a glimpse of a fairly familiar photograph in the ink, so you took the paper and read:

"Dark Mark sparks panic." Muggle family murdered.  Death Eaters numbers grow”  Your hands trembled over the paper, caressing each of the words, reading them over and over again. The weight on your stomach grew and grew, as if it were suddenly going to explode. A huge picture of uncle Tom stood in the middle, with that toothless grin and throbbing nostrils “Merlin’s beard”

Your fingers tingled, and you couldn't help but run your touch over your uncle's face trying to think how he got to that point. Grandpa Tim never talked so much about his half brother and you never had the courage to ask him even if the curiosity was eating your insides. There were few times where Tom Riddle's presence was in the family conversations and if that happened, then your father changed the topic from one second to another. It was annoying living in the shadows, but it was even more to be tied to a cause that no one sympathized with, not even his own brother. But Tim Grant was reserved, perhaps too reserved. Maybe that was the reason why he allowed the actions of his little brother to escalate to those levels and allowed too that his only son had choose the wrong side. However, you didn’t understand - or support - Voldemort's ambitions, neither did your grandpa and that cost you to be rejected by the rest of your family.

Your eyes watered and you didn't know if it was because of guilt or if the damn dirt had entered your eyelids. You looked at the ceiling in the haze. You searched your mind and realized that the situation affected you too much. You weren't welcome with the Weasleys, nor with the Grants. You felt desolate, as if the barn walls were closing in on you.

Molly's reaction was valid, you repeated yourself as many times as you could, because anyone who had lost a large part of it’s family to a member of another's would have done the same thing or something so much worse. You shook your head, once again feeling the rejection you were used to.

The barn door opened suddenly, letting in a gust of wind hitting your body directly on the ground. Your skin prickled from the cold causing the newcomer to laugh.

You looked up to find yourself face to face with the distorted figure of Arthur Weasley who was holding a couple of drinks along with a weird smile that made you laugh. The man sat on the floor next to you leaving the glass next to your face.

"I'm sorry I scared you. it’s freezing cold out there and in my defense, nobody comes to this place”

“It’s okay, I wasn't expecting visitors”

"Fine, then" Arthur took a sip of his drink licking his chapped lips, but still showing you that smile so much like Bill's. You folded the newspaper on your lap, nervous. "So ... what are you doing lying in my barn?"

"I ... I was trying to clean this place up”

"Is that so? ‘cuz It seemed like you were about to take a nap."

“Yeah, i had a little mishap here”

"I see, do you want to get up?"

"Yes, thank you." Arthur held out his hand, slowly pulling you up to leave you sitting in front of him. He offered you the drink and you clinked glasses before drinking. It was hot chocolate, you guessed, made by Molly. Your stomach churned.

Mr. Weasley glanced around the barn, surprised to see more than half perfectly arranged

“This place hasn't been so clean since Bill was born”

“Sorry?

"No, no, it's okay," he mentioned, waving to play it off, "Molly had been asking me for a long time to do it, so I think you just made my job easier."

"It's nothing, Mr. Weasley

"Did you see something you liked?"

"Uh, yeah," you answered wiping your lips. "Ignoring the fact that your car almost killed me, I noticed that you have a lot of muggle stuff."

“Ah, yes. They are fascinating, don't you think?”

"Certainly, but I also realized that most of them are useless, why do you still have them here?"

"I like to collect them," he replied, taking another sip of his drink. You mimicked his action “to be honest, I don't even have a clue how these things works, but I suppose I'll find out in time. Muggle devices are not as advanced as ours, much less functional, however, I find them entertaining and special somehow, did you know that they use a subway to transport themselves underground? And they must leave coins in a machine so that they give them a little ticket. A ticket! The first time I used one I was deadly excited!

You smiled, imagining how it would to see Mr. Weasley that happy

"I could help you understand how they work." You winced when Arthur looked at you with wide eyes. "My ... my grandfather lived with Muggles for a while and knows a lot about this artifacts. Several times he spoke of his usefulness to my brothers and me”

“Fantastic!” He replied cheerfully. You smiled “It's wonderful (Y/N), thank you”

“No problem”

Then a silence settled between you, being cut off only by the babble of the gnomes outside the barn kicking the timbers trying to get inside. Arthur cleared his throat as he ran his little blue eyes over each of the walls of his newly renovated barn. He smiled again placing one of his hands on your shoulder

"I found out what happened with Molly in the morning," he mentioned. You nodded “My children told me what you said to each other and ...”

"I'm sorry I spoke badly to your wife, Mr. Weasley" you interrupted, sipping your glass all at once, leaving it on the floor. "I know after this I'll have to talk to William and find another place to stay."

“She is not like that. She rarely has such behavior with the people and I can only think that my Molly has a lot of mixed feelings. The war has us all nervous and the fact that the memories of the past have arisen again ... they make her have reactions that are not very usual in Molly.”

"I'm not blaming her. I think she's right”

“Why?”

"What I did to my family ... running away, betray them..." You started playing with your fingers on your lap, embarrassed. "It's not something a trustworthy person would do."

“What are you talking about?”

“For the Grants, it’s very important to support the family in their endeavors without stopping to think if that could be harmful to the others. With uncle Tom becoming the most dangerous dark wizard of all times ... people would think that his relatives would follow his steps and they did “Mr. Weasley listened attentively, ignoring the screams of his wife announcing that the food was ready “At least most of them. Now all of us are tied to the He-who-must-not-be-named, whether we want it or not. It ruined our lives and I couldn't stay in that place forever

"Why aren't you on his side?"

"Because I can't see my brothers make a wrong decision" You crumpled the newspaper with your hands looking at how the pic of Lord Voldemort turned into a streaked stain "I have my own convictions, even if you don’t believe so”

"I don't believe anything of you, (Y/N)" Arthur's voice turned stoic as he stared at you harshly. "Neither the good nor the bad. I am a believer that you should judge someone by what demonstrates, not by what it’s said about them. Right now you aren’t showing me anything but that there is something in your family that you don’t like and that the dirt in my barn is intolerable to you”

You smiled

"We're all here waiting to see what are you capable of. Good or bad, you get to decide who (Y/N) Grant is from now on. Starting over. Forget that the Grants' actions make you worthy of the consequences”

Warmth attacked your chest. It was comforting to feel for the first time the acceptance of someone who wasn't doing it out of mere compassion or that it was Bill. That Arthur gave you the benefit of the doubt encouraged you to continue as before: trying, trying, trying.

"I think his wife doesn't think the same."

Arthur Weasley patted your shoulder.

"I'll talk to her, she'll understand. Meanwhile let's go home, it's time for lunch”

"Did Bill come back?"

"Yes, my son and I came back from the ministry a while ago.He wanted to find you, but I asked him to let me do it. You know, because sometimes it's good to have the daughters-in-law on your side”

Your cheeks heated up and then the rest of your face turned completely red. Arthur studied your reaction, smiling as he realized you were just a kid looking for approval. He patted your shoulder again, inviting you to leave the rest of the mess and accompany him to the burrow.

"These aren’t a good times to trust the Daily Prophet," Arthur mentioned, noticing the crumpled newspaper in your hands. You skipped the pond and skirted the cornfield until you reached the garden entrance where Bill's brothers and Bill himself had set up a long table near Molly's apple tree where they planned to spend the afternoon. One of the twins raised his wand putting the cuterly across the table, one set for each of the family members. You wondered if there would be a place for you at the table “Honestly, these are not good times to trust anything or anyone, so if you accept my advice, don't worry too much about reading the newspapers, they will leave you more questions than answers, Hey, you will break that!

Arthur scolded his twins when they fiddled with forks in a battle to find out which of them would wash the dishes after eating. Arthur ran towards them while Bill approached you greeting you with a kiss on the cheek. He frowned, watching you closely and then removed his coat, draping it over your shoulders.

"What the hell were you doing outside without a sweater?" It's freezing!”

"You worry way too much," you told him, pressing the faux fur against your shivering body. The truth was that, after the exchange of words with Bill's mother, you didn’t have the time to get a sweater before leaving and of course your wounded pride wouldn’t let you get dressed again before going to hide in the barn. Bill clicked his tongue rubbing your arms. "I'm fine, I just lost track of the time cleaning your father's barn and I didn't feel the cold until now”

"You're bad at lying, did you know that?"

"You should stop asking so many questions." You smiled at the grimace on the older Weasley's face. "Nothing happened."

"That's not what the twins told me," he suddenly mentioned. You felt the tension in Bill's body when Molly passed by him giving you a dangerous look, however you decided to ignore it for the good of both of you “ What my mom said ...”

"It’s okay, it doesn't matter I discussed it with your father and we worked it out”

“Are you sure?” You nodded “I hope so. Not because she’s my mother I will let her offend you in any way”

Your smile widened. You couldn't possibly love that man more than you already did. You approached his body, throwing your arms around Bill's neck, having to stand on your tiptoes to reach only to kiss his chin. He lowered his head, managing to bring his lips together.

“Help your brothers set the table, I'll go take a bath”

"Don't you prefer i help you instead?" You laughed

"I can do it by myself, thanks”

"Hmm ... you sure?”

"William ...”

"Okay, okay, okay," he urged you leaving a couple of kisses on the corner of your lips. "Don't be gone too long. i’ll miss you, love."

“I will not. Wait for me just here, yeah?”

You went upstairs to the room you shared with Bill and jumped into the shower enjoying the warmth of the water above your head. You leaned against the tiles thinking that your first day in the burrow had turned out very bad, but better than you had thought. Even if Molly didn't believe your words, you would do your best to fullfil the expectations of the others members of the Order. You would be loyal to them, to the Aurors, and you would fight whoever you had to to prove that your actions were worth more than the rumors surrounding the Grants did.

You were going to prove how wrong they were with you and, incidentally, you would forge a reputation of your own, one of which you would proud of

Tag:

@purple-vodka-99​

#bill weasley #bill weasley imagine #bill weasley x reader #domhnall gleeson #domhnall gleeson imagine #harry potter imagine #harry potter cast #harry potter x reader #domhnall gleeson x reader

[quolant]

Mash, Beejhawk, Hawkeye

Thanks!

001 - MASH

Favorite character: Either Hawkeye or Margaret. BJ is a close third when he's not being annoying.

Least favorite character: Frank. He's just — awful.

5 favorite ships: beejhawk, houlifield, hawkeye's parents (i'll explain this), piercintyre, and sherman potter/mildred potter

Character I find most attractive: Margaret! She's beautiful. Also, hatefully, BJ. Damn you.

Character I would be best friends with: Probably like, Klinger, to be honest. He'd be an awesome friend.

A random thought: GFA made me cry when I first watched it, RIP.

An unpopular opinion: I don't think Trapper not leaving a note is a valid argument to why he's 'better" than BJ (see: GFA, baby booties, Period of Adjustment) and I also don't think the two of them should be pitted against each other. They're both different people, and both of them deeply cared about Hawkeye, at different time periods, and I think they were each who he needed at that point in time. Plus, like, Trapper is interesting to dissect emotionally since we only got him in the sitcom half of MASH, so when you see him get serious, it's really sobering.

My canon OTP: Potter and his wife have this great relationship, and I love how it's both tender and funny and how Potter clearly knows her inside out and vice versa. It's very quirky and fun, with all the anecdotes Potter throws in, but also really heartfelt, with the letter he gets from her in that one episode. Also, okay, like this is only technically canon in that it must've happened, but Hawkeye's parents. With the amazing help of @finestkind4077 , I now have a giant headcanon about when Daniel met Hawkeye's mom (Abigail is our OC name for her), how they fell in love, how and why they moved to Crabapple Cove, when Hawkeye came along, and so on. So, I love them.

My non-canon OTP: BJ and Hawkeye. They’re ridiculous and tender and funny and also sort of assholes, but I love them. I love how they met and kind of sort of clicked together, but also how they have their bumps along the way, and I love how they complement each other. I also like how their relationship evolved in complexity over the show from like, it’s starting point as BJ being the straight man to Hawkeye’s... wackiness. I also love their banter and how it’s very give and take between them, and I have so many ideas on post-war stuff for them. BJ has to get over his mountain of issues first because like, he’s flawed as hell, but I digress. 

Most badass character: Father Mulcahy, TBH. Like, that episode where he stole the pentathol basically sold me. 

Most epic villain: Flagg. Like, the dude makes no fucking sense, but he’s just — crazy. I love it.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Both Margaret/Frank (for obvious reasons), and Margaret/Donald, because he was just flaky as hell, and then like, dumped her via letter, which was — bad. 

Character I feel the writers screwed up: Trapper — by not really... exploring him, I guess! Margaret, and later BJ and Charles get the evolution he didn’t, and he’s interesting in that he’s generally pretty easy-going a lot of the time, but then there are parts you see where you can see that the war really, really grates on him! But none of that gets explored because he leaves! Also, Oliver because he was written out for like, no good reason, at the beginning of the show (and the reason actually turned out to be inaccurate!), and I think him being a main character could’ve added some nuance to the general sentiment of the show, which wasn’t really there at the end of things.

Favorite friendship: Margaret and Hawkeye! I didn’t expect to, when I originally watched the show and they were so antagonistic toward each other, but their arc in the whole show is one of the best parts of it. I like seeing how they changed, and how that reflected in them becoming close to each other, and I like that they really did respect each other in the end, when they came down to it. I also think Margaret and Hawkeye are great complements, and that comes out in their dialogue, which is some of the snarkiest/funniest stuff in the show. 

Character I most identify with: Probably Hawkeye. I’m a whole mess of emotions and can be random as hell depending on the time of day, LOL.

Character I wish I could be: Margaret, TBH.

002 - beejhawk

When I started shipping them: When I watched Welcome to Korea, to an extent, because like, Rudyard Kipling and all, but it really started with that scene where BJ talks to Hawkeye in the bus in The Late Captain Pierce.

My thoughts: Whew! There are... many thoughts. I think they work and they get together and are happy in the end, but I also think that they probably take their time to get there. BJ is, as we see, not really that emotionally equipped in dealing with his own emotions, much less Hawkeye’s during the war, and Hawkeye probably doesn’t even think he’s going to see BJ again, so they probably have some distance after the war before they reunite. I think they’re wonderful and assholish and tender and crazy, all wrapped in one, and I think that — well, there’s something about how they come together that you can see really stick with them throughout the whole show, and I would hope that they find that again, even when they’re not in the middle of a war, and live happily together, eventually. But I think it takes them a while. I also think they need some distance, first.

What makes me happy about them: I love how domestic they are, honestly — one of my favorite episodes of MASH is A War For All Seasons, which I think embodies this really well. They’re funny and snarky and snipe and gripe at each other, but they also have really tender moments, like what you see in the aforementioned episode, and in the end of something like Where There’s A Will, There’s A War. I love how bantery they are, and how their dialogue has this great ebb and flow to it, and it also stays really interesting. And I love them individually as characters, so seeing them together is great. 

What makes me sad about them: BJ being an asshole to Hawkeye sometimes, like in Period of Adjustment, and trying to act morally superior or something, and then ending up looking like a hypocrite. Also, GFA, because of multiple reasons — BJ leaving with no note, that whole horrible conversation in the funny farm, and then them arguing over whether they say goodbye — I can see them both wondering if their relationship was a product of wartime and trying to see if it has legs outside of that. I think that’s something they both fear; they just have different reactions toward it. 

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Having BJ not being emotionally complicated, or painting him as this perfect person and Hawkeye being the messy one. BJ is flawed — you get to see his cracks show as the show progresses, and you can see that he can be selfish and jealous and mean and self-centered in the worst of times, and he’s kind of a huge liar, which are all parts of him that don’t just go away if he gets with Hawkeye. I think a lot of fic tends to explore Hawkeye as being complicated, which makes sense and is demonstrated with the show, but I don’t think the same is done with BJ in a majority of fic! That said, there are really great fics that really dissect BJ’s whole thing, so this is just my opinion, LOL.  Also, fics that don’t show that they can be dysfunctional at times; the show did, and I don’t think that ends if they enter a romantic relationship, even if I do think it does get better than where it was in Korea. Also, like any kind of fic that fridges Peg (literally or otherwise) or basically avoids her entirely, because like! You can’t do that! She deserves to be explored and fleshed out just as much — and I think when you look at BJ, and the stuff you get in canon, the person that she ends up kind of being super interesting.

Things I look for in fanfic: The above, and sometimes domesticity, if it’s established relationship sort of deal, though I think reading fics about them getting into arguments and hashing it out is also really interesting. But I think it’s dependent on the fic. 

My wishlist: To eventually write a modern hospital take on Welcome To Korea. I just — I really want to. And I want to see them in a modern lens.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Honestly? I don’t know, LOL. I think it’s hilarious if they both accidentally end up hooking up with Trapper at different points after the war (Hawkeye knows who he is, BJ doesn’t) and BJ only realizes at the MASH 4077 reunion when Trapper shows up or something. 

My happily ever after for them: In the canon universe, they reconnect about a year or so after the war (after BJ has sorted out his shit, and Hawkeye has sort of come to terms with his), sort of hash out their deal, and live happily at Stinson Beach throughout the rest of the 50s and 60s, coparenting Erin with Peg and her girlfriend, who also gives so much shit to them, since Hawkeye and BJ are incapable of like, any kind of home repair, LOL. They open a surgical practice eventually, after the hospital ER stuff starts to hit too close — that happens until Erin goes to college around 1969 or 1970, and then they move and semi-retire to Crabapple Cove and run the town practice there, and live happily ever after.

003 - hawkeye

How I feel about this character: Hawkeye is one of my favorite characters on MASH, but he's also in general one of my favorite characters. He's enduringly interesting, and he really has a lot of individualism that makes him stand out from the general sea of characters you see. He deals with horrible situations with humor, but doesn't ever obscure what he really feels or thinks about the war, or the whole situation of being in a war to begin with — I think you see that in The Interview. He's not an optimist, or a pessimist - he's a realist in an intriguing way. We get so much of him, and we see how he changes across the 11 year run. By the time GFA rolls around, he's profoundly different than where he was in the pilot, even if his base characteristics are the same. He grows regardless of whether he wanted to, and we only ever see him in the lens of the war, since the show ends right after. I think he's incredibly fascinating.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: BJ, mainly and primarily (and endgame-wise), but also Trapper and Carlye (mostly pre-canon, though, but I find The More I See You fascinating.)

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: I think Hawkeye's relationship with Daniel, even though we never see Daniel on screen, is so good to watch. It's clear that they love and care for each other immensely, and that their history is layered and sentimental and interesting, and it's generally super heartwarming to see a healthy father son relationship!

My unpopular opinion about this character: LOL, I don't have like, a major unpopular opinion. The only thing I can think of is that Hawkeye is great in the kitchen but cannot bake anything for his life.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I want an episode where Hawkeye got to acknowledge that he's tired of being everyone's emotional support system at the 4077 - or at least for the show to acknowledge that the wellbeing of the 4077, though not really by his own choosing, has come to rest inadvertently on his shoulders. Hawkeye is constantly looked at the source of advice and emotional support in the unit, and I don't think it's acknowledged how much of toll that takes on him until the last few seasons. I want him to be exhausted and upset about it - to acknowledge that not everyone needs to, or has to rely on him - that he's a person too, just like them. Also, more calling out on the misogynist stuff in the earlier seasons, because — uh, some of that stuff was not good, though I think Hawkeye grew from it to a pretty good extent.

Favorite friendship for this character: See above for Hawkeye and Margaret. I do really love Hawkeye and Father Mulcahy's friendship too. It's fun and quirky and funny and can be solemn and sobering when it needs to be, and I think it's super interesting.

My crossover ship: Hawkeye Pierce/Leonard McCoy. I just. I want them to meet. Also Hawkeye Pierce/CJ Cregg.

#mash #ask #marley-manson

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Even opposite cakes attract

Summary: James and Lily assist to Petunia's wedding as their unofficial first date.

“Hello?”

“HI LILY!!”

“You don’t have to scream, Prongs”

“SORRY!!” he screamed anyway.

Lily laughed. Her laughter was so delicious and delicate. James’ heart overloaded with joy. It was easy now, making her laugh. She didn’t get annoyed, or yelled at him, or called him names. James felt as if he was doing things better.

“Moony, get out of here” he said whispering now. He wanted some privacy.

“Are you sure you can handle the, what did you call it? Oh yeah, the tellyphone, alright?”

Lily heard Remus’ voice because she laughed on the other line. James could see Padfoot and Wormtail cracking up laughing outside the booth.

“Just-get-out-of-here!!” James grunted

“Alright” Remus rolled his eyes, then yelled to the phone “BYE LILY!”

James heard her reply “BYE REMUS!”

James shooed his friend outside. He closed the door of the booth but soon enough his three dumb friends were making faces, sending him kisses across the glass.

“Sorry about them, darling” James decided to ignored them, they even deserved a middle finger. “Those assholes”

“It’s okay” Lily giggled “I know perfectly how those assholes are”

James laughed.

The whole summer, James and Lily chatted over the muggle phone. Luckily there was an old booth a few miles away from his house. Even if it was once a week, James was happy to talk with Lily, hear her voice. Really this muggle invention was ten times better than owls. It was like having Lily next to him, if he closed his eyes.

“How have you been?” James asked “How’s your summer so far”

“Stressful” Lily sighed “Petunia is getting married this weekend and my house had been a chaos with preparation and people coming over…”

“Your sister?” James asked. He had heard Remus mentioned her several times when he retold Lily’s stories to him. It was the only way to get to know her. But now, Lily had been telling him things.

Friends. Only friends. James could do that. He wanted to respect Lily’s wishes. Lily knew exactly how he felt. They had kissed. But something seemed to stop them every time, actually someone. Snape. He kept manipulating her, even after what he called her. And Lily was too good to realize it. After their first kiss, they fought about it. Then, they were okay again. Lily suggested starting from the beginning. They had been on the wrong foot before, they wanted to make things better this time. Know each other for real, not the wrong perception of each other they had before. So, friends, for now.

“Yeah… That bitch”

“Lils! I think it’s the first time you insult someone besides me” James teased

Lily snorted “You’re an idiot”

“Exactly my point”

“I just don’t want to be there alone, with Tuney’s pretentious friends and Vernon’s pretentious sister and…. OH MY GOD!!”

James jumped and his ear hurt. And he regretted now having shouted on the tellyphone before.

“Are you okay, gorgeous?”

“Sorry… It’s a stupid idea. I just had a stupid idea” Lily said nervously

“Okay…” James smiled again. James had found out that Lily was adorable and sometimes talked to much, but James could hear her talk all day. Apparently, Lily was different than what he thought. James liked this Lily better.

“Well is actually a good idea” Lily snorted “Yeah it’s definitely good” And James imagined her biting her lip as she did when she was nervous. “But I don’t know if you’re going to like it. Maybe it is horrible idea for you. I don’t know why I thought about it…”

“Hey, Lils” James interrupted “Just tell me”

Lily was definitely adorable.

Lily took a deep breath “Would you like, I mean maybe if you can and you have time… would you like…maybe come to my sister’s wedding with me?”

James was too shocked to even speak. Lily was asking him out? To Petunia’s wedding? Petunia being her sister, meaning her family would probably would be there. Her Parents!

He was sure his cheeks were burning. The Marauders were going to laugh at him. But when James turned to look at them, he saw they had given up and were seated by the grass, smoking.

“James?” Lily asked after a while “Oh Lord, I knew this was a bad idea”

“NO…NO…NO….NO….NO”

“Those were fives no’s, you definitely don’t want to come”

“NO! Shit! I mean YES!! Of course, I would like to come. I would definitely come. Just be sure I would be there, darling!”

Lily laughed relieved while James blushed profoundly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, sure”

“It wouldn’t be… awkward?”

“Why?”

“Well… We are going slowly. And now you’re going to meet my family”

James swallowed nervously “Friends meet each other’s families, right?”

Even though I don’t want to be your friend Lily

“Right” Lily answered after a while

Then, they were in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence. They were feeling each other’s breathing, planning on what to say. In James case, he wanted to tell Lily how much he loved her. How much he wanted to see her, kiss those lips again, how much he missed her. He wanted to say ‘Fuck being friends, please Lily be my forever and only’. But no. James was a new and improved man. He was so scared of fucking it up and going back to cero. James was going to respect her even if he had to wait forever.

“Okay then…” James began

“Okay then…” James could almost feel Lily’s smile on her voice.

“I’ll see you this weekend”

“It’s on Saturday, ten o´clock” Lily laughed “I forgot to tell you that”

“Yeah, that’s good to know” James snorted

“And I will send you the address so that you can apparate here”

“Right”

“Oh, and can you wear a muggle tuxedo? Ask Remus” Lily continued “My family is very muggle, you see”

“Don’t worry babe, I’ll be as muggle as possible” James’ intention was to impress Lily’s family.

“Now that I think about it, you probably don’t own a muggle tuxedo” Lily hissed “I am so stupid…”

“Hey gorgeous” James interrupted with a smile “I’ll figure something out, don’t’ worry”

“Okay…” Lily said now more relaxed “I’ll see you on Saturday, then”

“I’ll see you on Saturday” James answered

“Bye”

“Bye”

Silence

Lily giggled “Hang up James”

“I don’t know how”

Lily laughed louder “Right, then I’ll hang up…Bye”

“Bye gorgeous” James smiled. And then he heard a bipping sound. But James just stayed there grinning like an idiot. He just put the phone back to it’s case.

James turned to look at his friends. Moony was fast asleep on Sirius’ lap. And Peter was laying besides them, chewing a lolly.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

James knocked the door excitedly until his friends saw him. They jumped. But as a matter of fact, they turned to look. Even Moony was awake.

James grinned “I HAVE A DATE WITH LILY!!” he shouted.

It wasn’t technically a date. But he didn’t care.

His friends must’ve heard him, because they started cheering and clapping. James was so happy.

Lily had been very happy all morning. She felt like anything could stop her. She shouldn’t be feeling that way. But that was James Potter provoked on her. Lately she was bloody happy around him. Lily had been looking forward to see him again, perhaps kiss him again and run her fingers through his untidy hair…

But James and Lily were on good terms now. And Lily didn’t want to ruin it. She had realized James was an important person in her life. And Lily was afraid, because she had been hurt before. Turned out, the boys she’d met had been horrible to her, Luke, Severus, Jhonny. And she had thought James was on that list too. But actually, he had been acting differently. Remus had said he didn’t change, he was always like that. Only he was controlling his idiocy and his desire to show off. Lily didn’t know if she hadn’t known James at all, or if he had changed. The thing was that Lily liked this James. She liked him a lot.

And Lily was stressed and nervous about today. If Tuney wasn’t fucking hysterical, then maybe Lily wouldn’t be the same.

“Just untie the bun!” Petunia was shouting to her friend Margaret who had been working on a salon for a year and was assigned to comb Petunia´s hair for the event.

“But you wanted that bun” her friend replied nervously

“IT IS HORRENDOUS! TAKE THE BUN OUT!”

Lily understood it would be stressful to get married. But honestly, wasn’t Petunia in love? She was marrying the love of her life today. She should be happy. Lily had suggested to fix her hair with magic, but Petunia’s hateful glare and her mother’s gasp shut her down. That word was forbidden in that house. Magic. Lily missed her dad. At least he was interested in magic, Hogwarts and Lily’s subjects.

Lily was helping her mother fold some napkins for the reception when they heard the door bell rang. Almost everyone in the room yelled and panicked. Most of them being Petunia’s friends, and Lily’s aunts.

“The car isn’t supposed to be here, yet!” Marge yelled furiously. Vernon’s sister had been drinking many glasses of wine so far. Lily was afraid she wouldn’t make it to the ceremony sober.

“Lily, darling, Open the door please” her mother said “It’s probably the cater or florist”

Lily sighed before walking to the door. But when she opened it, the wasn’t any cater or florist outside. It was James.

He was wearing a blue tuxedo and a red tie. Lily remembered telling Remus she once saw Robert Redford using one in one of his movies and how sexy he looked. Lily was glad that Remus helped James dress up. Wow. And he was caring a bouquet of blue lilies. Lily was momentarily out of breath.

His iconic grin disappeared when he saw Lily’s shocked expression. James was early. So early. Lily wasn’t even dressed. Her hair and makeup were fixed already but she was waiting to put on her dress, in case it was ruined. Or else, Petunia might actually kill her.

“You look beautiful” James said running his hand through his hair, which made him even hotter.

Lily tried not to blush.

“What are you…”

But James was openly staring at her outfit, which meant her body. Lily unconsciously wrapped herself tighter with her dressing gown.

“Perhaps I am wrongly dressed” he looked down to himself “Remus said this would be fine”

Lily couldn’t avoid laughing.

“No James, you’re perfectly fine and very handsome” she blushed “But you’re like” she checked the house’s entrance clock “An hour early” she smiled at him.

“Yeah” James said confused “Moony said that muggles arrive one hour early to every event, and I wanted to…”

Lily bit her lip to avoid laughing. Probably James noticed.

“And he totally lied to me….” James closed his eyes embarrassed “FUCK REMUS LUPIN! I am so sorry… I am an idiot”

James sighed profoundly. And he started pacing and rubbing his hair uncontrollably. Lily giggled as she watched him.

“I can leave and come back if you want to…” he continued “Or I can leave and not assist at all… Fuck…. Remus…. Arrg…”

Lily laughed louder. She was so happy now that he was here.

“James, it’s fine…”

He looked at her.

“It’s totally fine” she repeated “Actually it is good that you arrive early” she took him by the arm “We need more hands to help” she dragged him inside.

James looked around like a little kid in the zoo. Lily found him adorable. He was even adjusting his glasses. Lily’s house wasn’t a big thing. It was small and average. Remus had mentioned how big James’ house was.

“There are quite a number of people in the room” James pointed amused. Like a kid showing their parent something interesting. Lily smiled.

“All of them are muggles?” James asked

Lily nodded. Her mother had two sisters, each one with their husbands. And her father had an older brother who had a lot of children and younger single sister. Her aunt Katie was her favorite, maybe because she reminded her of her father. And then, there were all Petunia’s friends: Ruth, Genevie and Margaret. Marge had been added to the group of bridesmaids as well as Lily.

Lily nodded “You and me, the only freaks”

Lily meant that as a joke, but James didn’t laugh.

“Don’t worry. I have my wand buried in my pocket” he said as he patted his chest “Today I am as muggle as the rest”

Lily knew Severus would’ve hated being here. He would probably had said something mean about so many muggles, how they were different and superior than them. Probably he wouldn’t have wanted to come at all. Lily was happy she had invited James.

She smiled “Let’s go. I’ll introduce you to everyone”

James was polite with everyone. He smiled, accepted handshakes and kissed the girls in the cheek. Some of Petunia’s friends were even eyeing hungrily at James. And Lily tried not to be jealous.

Lily’s aunts even mentioned that her ‘boyfriend’ was adorable and easy going. Lily decided not to correct them. And she enjoyed the grin and red cheeks on James’ face.

“Boyfriend, ha?” James raised an eyebrow once they were out of sight

“Shut up” Lily laughed “You need to meet Petunia and mum”

James seemed more confident. But Lily was not. Petunia wasn’t the nicest person to be around.

They got to the kitchen. Lily’s mother was busy talking, or better yet yelling at someone on the phone. So, Lily decided to go to Petunia first.

Margaret had managed to keep Petunia’s blond hair loose. With tiny flowers on top and curls falling down to her shoulders. She looked beautiful. Although her expression didn’t seem cheerful. She was looking at her reflection and deciding what to do with it.

“Wow Maggie” Lily said as they approached “It looks nice”

“Thanks Lily” At least Maggie was nice to Lily, when Tuney and Ruth weren’t around.

“Tuney…” Lily swallowed “This is my… eh friend James Potter”

Petunia didn’t seem to be listening to her. Lily bit her lip trying not to be embarrassed.

“From school” Lily added.

And now Petunia seemed interested, she looked up finally at James.

“Hi Petunia” James offered her his hand “Lily had told me loads about you. I’m James”

As adorable as ever. But Petunia didn’t seem swiped by James’ charm.

“I thought you were going to invite Snape” Petunia simply said looking at Lily. James lowered his hand slowly.

Lily was just asking one thing from her sister. A little bit of kindness towards her friend, boyfriend… well James. Just like she had shown to her friends or Vernon and his irritable sister, none of who had been nice to Lily. And James was being kind to her. In fact, he had been acting like a proper gentleman.

“No… I told you we aren’t friends anymore” Lily side glanced at James. They had discussed about Severus in the past. And Lily didn’t want to cause trouble.

“Good” Petunia said “I reckon he is better than Snape” then she turned to James “Your hair is widely untamed”

“I’ve been told” James nodded

“Nice. Maybe Maggie could fix it”

Maggie laughed nervously “I don’t think I…”

“I am only joking” Petunia said

James tried to laugh “You’re funny”

“Lily…” Petunia made Lily lean for her to whisper in her ear “I know he is one of...your kind. If he doesn’t behave…”

But Lily pulled away furiously “Your hair looks nice, Tuney” she crossed her arms.

“Oh, Lily why aren’t you dressed yet?” Mrs. Evans appeared behind Lily

“Mum, does my hair look good?” Petunia asked

“You look wonderful, darling” Mrs. Evans smiled “Lily. We are about to leave and… Oh, who are you? I don’t know you” she stared at James.

James immediately offered his hand and a wide smile. Lily was grateful.

“Mrs. Evans, pleasure to meet you. I am James Potter. I go with your daughter to school”

“Oh, I see” Mrs. Evans shook his hand “Nice suit”

“Thank you”

“He speaks like royalty” Mrs. Evans offered. Lily giggled. James tended to speak like a fine English man when he was around adults. He did the same with teachers.

“Lily does know strange people” Tuney commented

“Oh, I believe Vernon speaks funny as well” Lily spatted. Her mother, James and Maggie laughed. Petunia just glared at her. She began everything. It wasn’t Lily’s fault.

“Lily!” Mrs. Evans chanted “The dress!”

“Coming”

“Oh, and James can help me fold the rest of the napkins”

“Oh, I would absolutely adore to do so” James smiled

Mrs. Evans smiled “Very polite”

“You’ll have to teach him, mum” Lily grinned “He hasn’t folded a napkin in his life”

“I can fold napkins!” James protested “With a bit of magic” he whispered on Lily’s ear.

“No” she whispered back.

James smiled and winked at her.

“See you in a bit” Lily kissed his cheek and ran upstairs before James or herself could react to that gesture.

“REMUS JOHN LUPIN!” James didn’t shout loudly in case anyone heard him “Sirius put me with Moony! I can’t hear him laughing in the back!”

“I tell you mate; Remus is a bloody genius” Sirius roared with laughter.

James was freaking out. Mrs. Evans had tried to make a proper conversation with him. But James started talking about how fascinating the microwave was. James didn’t know how to talk to muggles. Not because they weren’t cool. But because he was so afraid of dropping something suspicious and magical. So, James had excused himself and locked in the restroom. Luckily, he had brought the two-way mirror.

“HE IS AN IDIOT THAT’S WHAT HE IS” James spatted “Did you have any idea about this?”

“Nop…”

James raised an eyebrow

“I swear! It was all Moony’s doing. I know as much about muggles as you”

“Arrive one hour later, talk a lot about microwaves… Bloody bastard!”

His two friends laughed hysterically.

“Put me with Remus Traitor Lupin…” James frowned “Oi! Are you in my pool?” James caught a glimpse of his familiar pool at home.

“Oh hi, James” Remus appeared in the mirror, grinning like an idiot.

“Traitor!”

“Sirius said this is his house as well so he is allowed to use the pool, which is not only yours” Remus said sipping lemonade “And Sirius invited me, so”

“Ha ha ha, you’re so funny. You fucking twat”

Remus giggled.

“Lily is very important to me, okay? Therefore, her family”

“At least I gave you a sweet tuxedo” Remus said

“It was well accepted” James said “What, are you hanging out without me? Where’s Peter?”

“I didn’t invite him” Sirius’ face appeared as well

“You didn’t invite him?” Remus asked “I thought you said he couldn’t come”

“I wanted to spend the day with you” Sirius shrugged

Remus looked embarrassed, and James saw him blushing. Or maybe was the sun.

“What the actual fuck?” James teased “The pretty good best friends, ha?”

Remus and Sirius smiled. James rubbed his hair.

“Okay, I need advice. And this time GOOD ADVICE JOHN LUPIN”

“Oh, I am going to call you John now” Sirius grinned

“Don’t you dare!”

“Lily has been flirting with me, okay?” James continued “I know it. I know it! And she kissed me on the cheek…”

“Wild” Remus commented

“Use protection!” Sirius gasped

“Idiots” James rolled his eyes “I just really want to push her against the wall and kiss her senseless. But at the same time, I want to be her everything and marry her and have her babies. And I won’t be able to do that if I push her like I did last time. Like I know we are just friends, but we keep flirting and I don’t think I will be able to stand her gorgeous face and body any longer. I mean I am sweating just thinking about her. I cannot sweat!”

“Relax, Prongs” Sirius whistled

“Just be yourself” Remus suggested “Actually don’t be yourself. Be more like me. Maybe you should behave”

“I bet you would be snogging her by the end of the night” Sirius said grabbing his glass of lemonade.

“Did Effie prepare lemonade without me?” James pouted

But Sirius didn’t listen “Or if you’re lucky, you can sh…”

Remus knocked over the drink over Sirius.

“MOONY!”

“Stop talking shit, Sirius”

They started discussing, as they always did. James was used to them discussing and liking each other as nothing happened. But he was more preoccupied on the possibility of doing something with Lily. He was sweating. And then he heard footsteps outside the door.

“I gotta go, they think I am pooping”

And James hung up pocketing the mirror and exiting the bathroom.

James smiled at some people on the hall, before walking to the kitchen again.

“Napkins look good, Mrs. Evans” James announced.

Mrs. Evans laughed. She had already changed to a discreet dress and was fixing her hair.

“You look nice as well, Mrs. Evans”

“Thank you, James” Mrs. Evans blushed “You are really a wonderful young man. You remind me of my husband when he was young”

James knew Lily’s father had died a year ago. James had tried to apologize for the Snape incident. And Lily had yelled at him horrible things. But he didn’t know she had lost her father until Marlene mentioned it later that day. The good thing was that James and Lily were on good terms now. Excellent terms.

“I wish I had been able to meet him” James said “Lily speaks highly about him”

Mrs. Evans smiled as she put on some earring.

“He would’ve liked you” she said sighing.

“Who doesn’t like the incredible James”

James turned around to see Lily. She looked so beautiful, so gorgeous. She was wearing a violet dress, with a pink ribbon on her waist. The dress revealed a bit of Lily’s breasts. She was wearing a heart shaped necklace. The one she always wore. Her hair was loose with red curls going down to her waist. She was wearing makeup and red lipstick which made her lips more desirable. She was so beautiful; James felt his legs trembled a little. His heart raced.

I want her, I love her. James thought.

But even if she was a few meters away, she seemed unreachable. Forget about Quidditch. Lily was the best thing in the world.

“Wow” James sighed “You look… am…” he moved his hands from his pockets to his hair “There are no words to describe how dashing you look, darling. I mean literally wow. A piece of art”

Lily’s face adopted the same red color as her hair. She bit her lip and looked down but she was smiling.

“You are wow yourself, Potter”

James grinned. James had forgotten that Mrs. Evans was there until she laughed.

“I think Tuney is not the only one in love this evening” she said. James and Lily blushed. “Do you want to come in the car or you prefer to walk?”

“We’ll walk” Lily said smiling at James

“Be there on time, Lily”

Mrs. Evans smiled at James and followed Petunia’s moans and complains somewhere in the house. But James too concentrated in Lily’s green eyes, staring back at him.

“We are going to walk there?” James decided to break the ice

Lily smiled “Church is only a few blocks away” she explained “But Tuney wanted to arrive elegantly in a car. I bet Vernon and the rest are already there”

“Okay…” James showed her his arms for her to take it “Let’s go milady”

“I bet that in an hour I will take these horrible heels off” Lily said “Try to use heels one day”

“The next wedding, we assist, I’ll promise I wear a good pair of heels”

Lily laughed.

“Deal”

They walked talking about many things. From their families, to the war, to their plans for the future, to silly things like food or music preference. It was so easy talking to each other. There were a lot of things they actually didn’t know about each other, even if they’ve been class mates for six years. James made Lily laugh a lot. And James laughed a lot. It just felt that the two of them where the only ones in that street, in that town, in that world.

“If there was a fire in your house, what’s the first thing would save?” Lily asked

“Oh, we are going with the deep shit questions, aren’t we?”

Lily giggled.

“Amm…” James thought about the question “It depends which one is my home and who I am living with”

“I thought you were going to say your broomstick or something” Lily smiled

“I am not that shallow!” James protested

Lily laughed

“I guess if I cannot rescue my parents or anyone alive…”

Lily shook her head.

“I would save our book, me and my folks’ book”

“What book?”

“We have this family book full of photographs and paper clips, and letters we saved through the years” James explained “I remember we started it when I was six. My parents were my best friends back then, they still are. But now I have The Marauders, and you and the girls. But they are everything to me. So, if everything burns, I would like to save that”

James didn’t say this to impress Lily or anything. It was actually true. He wasn’t ashamed of having a good relationship with his parents. Because he had the best parents in the world.

But Lily was looking at him in a very different and intense way. James decided to clear his throat.

“What about you?”

Lily smiled “No. I think I cannot beat your answer, I’m afraid”

“Now I’m curious”

“I was going to say my collection of records”

“I don’t believe you” James laughed “Come on, you don’t want to tell me!”

Lily laughed too “Really that was going to be my answer, because I thought you were going to say your broomstick… Now, I look like an idiot”

“Okay, okay” James laughed “I change my answer, I would save my broomstick. Happy?”

“In that case I would save my dad’s favorite books, the ones he used to read me when I was little” Lily said “Now my answer is better than yours” she grinned

“And I am the superficial asshole again”

“Exactly” Lily giggled

“You are worse than Moony”

Lily laughed “We arrived” she announced.

James even forgot that they were heading to a wedding. Petunia’s wedding. The church was a very large building with black windows. The guests were entering the place and taking their seats. Some were chatting on the entrance. James swallowed, more people to meet and impress.

Lily stopped before stepping inside.

“I might cry I lot in there” she said “Promise to hold my hand and don’t laugh?”

James dared to take her hand right now. And he kissed her cheek.

“Promise, love” he whispered. And they stepped in.

They sat on the front rows, still holding hands. James was so happy. He felt a sort of feeling of protectiveness towards Lily. Like Lily belonged with him. Like they were meant for each other.

And suddenly he didn’t need to snog or do other things with Lily. Like he wanted to do so of course but this was ten times better than any physical pleasure. Just sitting with Lily in silence. Holding hands.

Many people asked Lily if James was her boyfriend. She simply nodded, smiled or blushed. James didn’t know what to do about it. But she wasn’t saying no. Lily whispered on James’ ear who these people were, how they were related to her, and a quick funny anecdote about them.

“That’s my father’s cousin Maurice. Legend says he hides pot in his wig”

James and Lily giggled and some people shushed them up. That made them giggle even more.

Vernon was a short, chubby lad with the largest moustache James had ever seen. He looked nervous but pleased with himself.

“We don’t particularly like each other, me and Vernon” Lily whispered “I think Tuney deserved better”

“Love is blind, they say” James answered “Although I don’t see how can I be more blind than I already am”

Lily giggled with this. She was trying so hard to contain her laughter. She looked adorable. James dared to kiss her hand. Which he was still holding.

“Lily please” Mrs. Evans warned

“Sorry”

“Sorry, Mrs. Evans. Lily is nervous” James whispered

James found Mrs. Evans was really fond of him and she smiled at him a lot.

Music started and everyone raised to receive the bride. Petunia walked in accompanied by someone who Lily said was her uncle and Petunia’s godfather since their parent couldn’t be there.

“Every child has a godfather? Because I don’t have one” James whispered as Petunia entered

“Not magical children, no”

“Maybe they should”

Lily smiled and then squeezed his hand hard. James grunted in pain.

“Sorry. She looks so beautiful and she is getting married” Lily’s eyes watered.

The ceremony was beautiful. James had assisted wizard weddings when he was a kid. He remembered more rituals, spells, magical shows and performances. But this was nothing like those. This seemed more intimate, simpler. James wanted his wedding to be like this. And then, he started fantasying about his wedding. Could it be with Lily? They could get there. And start a live together. James stared at Lily. How beautiful she was. How much she cared about her sister. James wanted to live that with Lily. Maybe in the future he hoped. For now, he was holding Lily’s hand, and he wanted to kiss her. Only once.

Even if Lily hated Vernon, the way they had looked at each other in the ceremony. Him and Petunia were truly in love. Even if Lily couldn’t understand how Petunia could love someone like that. Lily had read about that one true love in books and watch it in movies. And Lily aspired to that. Finding her one true love. It didn’t happen with any of the boys she had met.

But James was different. It wasn’t exactly love…yet. But Lily knew she had a special connection with him. She’d never laughed so hard with someone, or be so relaxed and safe with someone. She’d never wanted to snog someone so badly. She’d never fantasized about it. She’d never felt so intensely happy with someone.

The reception was held on The Evans residence. It wasn’t that big so everyone was squeezed between the living room, the dinning room, the kitchen and the backyard.

Lily went upstairs to change to flat shoes before her feet broke. So, she was ready to dance after lunch. Dance with James. Lily had been considering all afternoon if she should kiss him. Would it change things? Lily was scared of staring a relationship with him and somehow fuck it up or James being someone else. James had tried to get with Lily for three years. What if Lily accepted, the spell would break and James wouldn’t like her anymore, what if he moved on to flirt with another girl? It was easy being that way. Just friends, like being in a very comfortable bubble. But oh boy, Lily wanted to kiss him and break it so bad, but she was scared.

They chatted over food with Lily’s mother, and the new wedded.

“Congratulations Vernon, is it? I think you two look very happy together and make a lovely couple” James tried casually, but Lily could tell he was nervous because he moved his leg a lot under the table.

Vernon and Petunia were caught of guard by James' intervention. They stared at him with displeasure. Petunia whispered something in his ear and Vernon’s eyes widened. Lily squeezed her napkin under the table.

It had been in New Year’s when Vernon found out about Lily’s “condition”. She had wanted to tell him because he had proposed over Christmas and Lily wanted him to know Petunia’s family. Where he was getting into. Petunia avoided the subject, and simply replied with a ‘I’ll tell him eventually’. Lily had cornered Vernon at New Year’s party and told him everything. She even made magic without her wand, which wasn’t registered at the Ministry. Vernon ran away, started his vehicle and left for the night. He didn’t speak with Petunia for days. She was devastated. And Lily felt guilty. She tried to contact him without response. She apologized with her sister and he was furious. Eventually, the couple worked things out, otherwise they weren’t here at their wedding. But Vernon flinched every time Lily was around. Vernon was scared of her. Probably Petunia mentioned James was the same.

“Thank you, sir” Vernon simply answered. And continued chatting with his sister.

Lily felt sick. Vernon was now her family, and he was always going to look at her with disgust.

But James looked pleased “He called me, sir” he whispered smiling.

James was so pure, so amiable, so wonderful. Lily was not going to permit that either Vernon or Petunia treat him badly, even if it was their wedding.

Later that evening, many people were dancing. Others drinking and smoking now that the party had officially initiated. James and Lily were on their desserts while Vernon went on and on about the cars, he was planning on buying for him and Petunia.

“Why did you order chocolate?” Lily asked ignoring Vernon. There were two types of cake. Thanks to the various bakers on the family. One chocolate cake, one lemon cake.

“Chocolate is the best!” James protested “Moony would’ve adored this one”

“True” Lily said “But too much of a chocolate is not good”

“Why?”

“It ends up getting too sweet to enjoy. And then you hated it, and you avoid chocolate for days after that”

“That’s better than ordering lemon”

“It’s actually pretty good”

“Yeah?” James raised an eyebrow “Can I try it?”

“Can I try the chocolate one?”

James nodded grinning. Lily took a large bite of the chocolate cake, while James took a large bite of the lemon one.

“Yeah it’s not bad” James said

Lily moaned when she tasted chocolate “So good” she licked the spoon.

James looked at her amused with his cheeks slightly red. Lily decided to ignore that.

“What about the nonsense of chocolate is bad?” James asked

“I told you. Only in little amounts, otherwise is awful”

“Remus would disagree with you”

“I know” Lily smiled “What if we mix them?”

“What if we mix them indeed?” James raised an eyebrow

They both giggled as they took a bit of one flavor and a bit of the other. And put them in their mouths at the same time.

It was actually pretty good. Lily laughed. James and her hit palms happy for their discovery.

“Opposites attract” Lily said

“Even opposites cakes attract” James added

Lily thought it was true. That was them. Chocolate and Lemon cakes falling in love and making a better mixture. Lily thought they couldn’t be more different, but they complemented each other in such way, it was beautiful.

“Maybe we can make this a tradition” James said “Order different flavors and mix them up”

Tradition. James saw her in his future. Lily giggled. And Lily had never wanted him so badly. She was leaning in, ready to kiss him, snog him senseless. Even if everything changed after that. James noticed this and his expression changed, he was leaning as well…

“What car do you own, Mr. eh….”

Vernon had ignored James all evening and now he tried to chat with him, just now…

“Potter” James answered quickly, clearing his throat and rubbing his hair, kind of blushing for what they were about to do “And I don’t own cars, I own a broomstick”

Vernon jumped at the sound of that word as it was obscene. He looked around, luckily no one was there. Just the three of them. Petunia was chatting with different relatives as well as her mother. Marge was gulping more wine. Vernon’s parents were dancing.

“We don’t ride cars” James said “We…” he looked around and leaned over whispering “wizards”

Vernon jumped again and blinked hard.

“I see…” Vernon said, he looked around trying to find an escape, regretting his decision of chatting with James in the first place “Then your kind… doesn’t have very much money, I assume? For having…eh… tricks?”

Lily almost laughed. She had tried to explain what her world was like, but they never payed her attention.

“Oh no” James laughed “We have money just like you, in fact my family owns a big portion of money. Not to brag or anything. And I just buy the best broom on the market just like you own the best muggle transport…”

“James…” Lily hissed

Vernon looked disgusted and scared.

“And we have a bank and everything to store our money, Gringotts. Guarded by goblins” James nodded and took a sip of his wine “The most secure place in the world they say”

“James…”

“It must be some sort of joke” Vernon grunted “Did I hear correctly? Go-goblins? Guarding your money?”

“Yeah. They are very serious when it comes to money” James nodded

Lily sighed. Vernon looked purple now.

“Are you mocking me? Are you truly laughing in my face?” Vernon snaped “Lily…”

It was the first time he said her name in a long time

“You bring a fool to my wedding so that he can mock me?”

“I am telling the truth!” James protested, but Lily grabbed his arm

“Nonsense!” Vernon raised up “I don’t like your behavior mister. I very well hope you had too much wine to justify your loose tongue. Excuse me” And with that he stormed out of the table towards his new wife.

“Very rude! I was telling the truth… I was very well telling the truth. You know that” James protested “Fuck, sorry, darling. Maybe I should go there and apologize…”

“No, it’s fine”

“Lils, I don’t want to be on bad terms with your family. They are very important to me because you are”

Lily’s heart started racing.

“Let me just…”

But before James could move, Lily kissed him. Lily, never in her life, had done something so reckless without thinking about it before. But there she was. She wanted to avoid more chaos, but the main reason was that she had been wanting to do that since the end of their first kiss, back in June.

James was shocked at first. But then, he responded to the kiss. And he moved in a way that sent shivers down her spine. After they were done, Lily smiled embarrassed. Her face was hot and red.

She snorted “Do you know how to dance?”

“What?” James was still in shock which was adorable.

“You don’t?” Lily said “Don’t worry. I will show you”

She took James’ hand and she dragged him to the dance floor.

“You have to put your hands on my waist” she instructed avoiding the urge to kiss him again and the embarrassment she felt. James obeyed.

“I’ve heard dancing involves a lot of kissing as well” James said

Lily laughed and everything was back to normal. Lily decided that was a green flag to kiss him again.

“Now focus” Lily laughed and wrapped her arms around James’ shoulders. He smelled so good. “Now we have to sway to the music”

Lily closed her eyes feeling her heart beats mixing with James’. She placed her head on James’ chest, confirming how much his heart raced. If this wasn’t love, it must be something very similar.

“Am I doing it correctly?” James whispered

“Perfectly fine”

“The dancing or the kissing?”

Lily laughed “Both”

“You’re good at both as well, gorgeous”

Lily loved when he called her gorgeous.

The rest of the evening was wonderful. They decided not to worry about anything and had a good time. They drank, ate more, danced a lot, sang a lot. And kiss a lot.

Petunia and Vernon left for their honeymoon at some point before sunset. The party continued. And Lily didn’t realize there were actually many people leaving, but the party was still on.

“I’m tired!” Lily announced after a while collapsing on her chair. She had to be fair, she was slightly drunk. Maybe more than slightly. “Do you want to take me to my room?”

When Lily saw that James went red as a tomato, she laughed. “Just to tug me in bed and then leave, you little perv” she was definitely drunk.

James seemed drunk as well. But many years of experience of after match parties, made him resist alcohol a bit more. James smiled widely. Then kissed her.

“You’re so gorgeous” he said

“So, do you” Lily said and they kissed again.

They climbed upstairs making sure they weren’t seen by the rest of the guests, specially Mrs. Evans. But she seemed too busy being host.

As soon as they got there, Lily collapsed on the bed. Her bed. James seemed unsure to be there. He was such a gentleman.

“I don’t bite” Lily grinned “Com’ere”

James lied beside Lily. Within the silence of the room, Lily could clearly hear his heart beats and his heavy breathing. James was nervous. Which made Lily want him more.

“I want your jacket so I can have your smell when you leave” Lily concluded that alcohol in her system was like Varitaserum.

James laughed “At this rhythm you’re going to strip me down”

Lily blushed at this, and her body felt warmer at the thought of a naked James.

“Here…”

Lily sat down and let James place the jacket around her. And she was happy she asked for it, it smelled really nice, just like James. She lied down again next to James. But James was already kissing her. And she kissed him back. James was being so nice. He respected when she wanted to stop, they giggled for a while and continued. James tried not to touch her where she didn’t want to or felt too uncomfortable. He didn’t even try to take off her clothes.

They stopped kissing after a while but facing the ceiling. Then Lily dared to hold his hand. They stared at each other only through the moonlight.

“I had a wonderful time” James whispered “Thank you for inviting me, beautiful”

“I am going to miss you for the rest of the summer” she whispered back, now closing her eyes. She was getting sleepy.

“Me too, Lils”

Lily knew he wanted to ask the question. What were they? Were they a couple now?

I love you. I love you. I love you. But I am scared of you getting tired of me. I am scared of this feeling being over.

“Would you stay with me until I fall asleep?” that’s what she said instead.

“Of course” James whispered before kissing her forehead.

Lily slowly drifted to sleep.

The next day, Lily woke surrounded by James’ scent. She smiled. She was still wearing James’ jacket. Lily hugged it, like it was James himself. She giggled. In the pocket, she found a strange pocket mirror. And a note that said:

With this, we will be able to talk and see each other until the end of summer. So, the longing would not be eternal.

Love,

James.

#harry potter #marauders #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #james potter #lily evans #jily #jily fanfiction #james x lily #remus lupin #sirius black #petunia dursley #vernon dursley

[arty-e]

My Tudors series ‘review

Y’all asked for this so here comes my rant review about the Tudors:

TW: Rape mentions

First things first let’s address the biggest elephant in the room and that is the costumes. Holy shit series 1 was fucking painful with the costumes. At least they got the basic dress shape for the women but other than that the women costumes were painful to look at. The headdresses were the biggest crime of them all. There were no French hoods, at least no accurate French hoods. Also why were there so many sequences! What was going on with all that glitter!! Don’t get me started on the hair! One lady in waiting (Joan Bulmer) had a fucking bob! A bob! The men costumes weren’t great at the beginning but as the series went on they did improve quite a lot. I’m gonna give credit where credit is due and say it did improve as the series went on as a whole (but not by a lot).

Now that we’ve got the costumes complaints out the way lets actually talk about the ‘contents’ of the series. First of all why the fuck was Charles Brandon such a big deal in this?! He wasn’t as important as the series implied him to be. I feel they only added him so that there was a consistent character through out the show and who was at least a little likeable (tbf on Tudors the main people who played a part in actual Tudor history were often executed or removed at some point).

On the subject of Charles Brandon they did get one thing right; he did marry one of Henry’s sisters, Mary Tudor. However in the series he married Margaret Tudor which made no sense at all! It appears to me that they merged the two sisters together and merge I mean they had the Mary Tudor history then gave them Margret’s name. In actual history Mary Tudor married the old sickly King of France and when he died she then married Charles Brandon. However in the tudors she marries the old sickly king of Portugal???? And because she doesn’t want to remain married to him kills him????? I know why they did this because they had already showed the king of France (Francis) who was young at Field of Cloth and Gold episode so it would make little to no sense to have her marry him. But that leads into my next complaint, the timeline.

Several things in this show don’t make sense with historical context because it’s all jumbled up. A couple of examples here are Henry Fitzroy, they killed him off when he was six in this, he died when he was 17 just before Edward was born. Along with that they also made claim that the Act of Succession (the act allowed Mary and Elizabeth to become Queens after Edward) was passed before Henry had married parr. The whole reason the Act of Succession ever came to be was because Parr had helped reconcile Henry and his two daughters and pushed for him to legitimise them and be added to the line of succession after their brother. Those are just a couple of examples that stood out to me when it came to the timeline.

Also the way they Jane portrayed as an innocent type and a ‘perfect’ woman was also painful. She acts all sweet to Elizabeth when the real Jane only payed attention to Mary and called Elizabeth the Bastard.

Now for my biggest complaint; the heinous misogyny in this thing. The way they treated the female character in this was (in my opinion) worst than actual Tudor history. Women in this show were constantly objectified and the amount of sex scenes in this thing is fucking painful! Did nobody have anything better to do!? In series one they took away Anne Boleyn’s agency and made her a complete puppet of her uncle and father. Anne was a very intelligent and charismatic woman and you don’t see this at all. To be fair on Natalie Dormer she fought with the writers for Anne to be more than sex object for series 2 because she had done her own research on her and fought for Anne. By Series 2 Anne got a bit more agency but they made her somewhat cruel and failed to really show her charisma. Now alone with Anne they were unspeakably cruel for what they did to Katherine Howard. They literally called her prostitute and even an episode synopsis they out right  call her prostitute. She was an abused child and they decided to do that. Along with that they also make it look like that her claim that Francis Dereham raped her was a lie and that she was only saying to save herself. It was truly disgusting. I do appreciate them trying to strongly tell the audience that Katherine was just a child (act all excitable, have dancing around the place) but the rest of her story was handled extremely poorly.

Catherine Parr is my next big complaint. They practically stripped her of everything that made interesting and took away all achievements while married to Henry. Ive already talked about the Act of Succession so I won’t go into that again. They only briefly show her being Queen Regent while Henry is away fighting in France (they were much more focused on Henry’s war), also when she discovers that there is an arrest warrant after her she sits in her room and cries for ages until Henry comes in asking what its wrong. They took away her going to him and winning back her life from him. When Henry does forgive her he is asked by one of his servants if they shoulda top the warrant but he tells them not to all because he wants to catch Gardiner out! What bullshit is that!? They took away Catherine’s indolence and replaced with Henry out smarting his evil bishop!? Henry was too fucking thick to do!

So overall I found this so frustrating to watch from costume and historical inaccuracies to the misogynistic choices to strip the few of the most important women in English history of their agency and independence. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world but still it was really annoying. My advice is for you to watch Game of Thrones instead because then you don’t have to complain about inaccuracies because it’s all fantasy and doesn’t claim to be a historical drama. (Also Natalie Dormer is also in this)

also if you want a good Tudor drama then watch wolf hall. Costumes are amazing and its very well done (only complaint Cromwell is painted too well in it)

(Also Elizabeth needed WAY more screen time)

#me #the tudors #my opinion #rant #what teh fuck was this cluster fuck #everyone was going on how this was a great tudor drama (while complaining about the spanish princess) #yall lied to me #history #natalie dormer was the best thing in this #where was Elizabeth!!!!! #boleyn howard and parr were all done dirty #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #jane seymour #anne of cleves #katherine howard #catherine parr #henry viii #charles brandon #mary tudor #margaret tudor #tudors #YOU ALL ASKED FOR THIS! #tw #tw rape mentions #rape mentions

[nzvalley]

Rewatching some Star Trek: Enterprise

It’s been a long time since I have done one of these posts. What I kind of expected to happen did happen: once I hit season 3 and saw the network meddling, Trip/T’Pol, and the radical shift in tone of the series, it was hard to keep going. But I’m hoping to power through this season, and get to the much improved fourth season.

Just to remind anyone who is here for the first time. I’m doing a rewatch/analysis around the Archer/T’Pol friendship/partnership/relationship, based on my favorite episodes. I will be focusing on them, because that’s the aspect of the show in which I’m more interested.

Catch up on my previous rewatch posts here!

There will also be spoilers, not just for this episode but for the whole show.

Twilight (3x08)

Even though this is easily the shippiest episode for Archer/T’Pol, this isn’t one I automatically turn on when I’m doing a rewatch.

In part, it’s just too sad to rewatch frequently. Partly because it gets total forgotten with no impact on canon. It’s also just an annoying reminder of when the show and these characters were in a much better place.

However, it’s a really great episode overall and for Archer/T’Pol. It reminds the audience of how devoted T’Pol is to Archer specifically, calling back to T’Pol’s speech to Archer before following him into the Expanse. It feels out of place to the rest of the season, like it could have been written before the network mandates.

Just next episode (“Similitude”) we get a T/T’P plot that is equally a standout episode, but which is fully in everybody’s memories and has lasting impacts on the season. This contrast illustrates the suddenly differing priorities of this season.

Up until now, it’s worth reminding, the backbone of the show was how the relationship between Archer and T’Pol (and Shran!) shaped the formation of the Federation. But even in the worst of times, there seems to be a contingent in the writers room who still felt as strongly about Archer/T’Pol as they did in the first two seasons.

The start hooks you in immediately, with Archer’s confusion mirroring our own. Archer stumbles (shirtless!) into Captain T’Pol’s bridge. Seeing T’Pol commanding in her own right is so cool.

After the frantic and engaging teaser, we get a massive time jump. A gray-haired Archer wakes and makes his way through a home he doesn’t remember. He finds a devoted… caretaker… whose effort he can’t fully appreciate yet.

The altered dynamic immediately apparent between Archer and T’Pol, and the obvious changes in her look and demeanor, set the tone for the rest of the episode. Jolene Blalock is amazing as usual. She can play any version of T’Pol. There are great performances throughout, especially by Jolene and Scott.

Pretty much everything in this episode, barring the initial crisis itself and T’Pol’s accident, aren’t canon. As far as I can tell, not even the main two remember the alternate timeline, except maybe on an unconscious level. It’s one of those stories that gets completely stricken from the record, which is why it’s hard to fully appreciate.

Archer saving T’Pol at his own expense reminds the audience of how much he cares. Although it gets erased T’Pol repays that sacrifice in turn, devoting her life to his care.

Phlox’s dedication to finding a cure for Archer, and his overall concern, is another aspect of this episode that’s awesome. For me, the trio of Arhcer/T’Pol/Phlox was always the most interesting.

This episode shows one nearly concrete future where the Xindi win, showing how fragile the mission remains. The slow reveal of how complete the Xindi victory was, and the fragility of their settlement, is nice. This storyline was ahead of its time. Just a few years later BSG told a similar story, though much better and in a much-expanded manner.

Jolene does a good job, but has to explain so much story in so little time. This story seems like it should have been given more time to breathe, like it should’ve played out over 3 or 4 episodes. At least one more!’

T’Pol and Soval always have great scenes.

T’Pol: I won’t leave them. Soval: Them? Or Him?

T’Pol reiterates her choice of Archer and the humans over her own species, much as she did when initially choosing to join the mission to the Expanse.

T’Pol reveals she knows Archer’s deepest secrets now, even the proposal that was rejected because Margaret Mullen didn’t want to become a Starfleet widow. Has T’Pol made herself into a kind of Starfleet widow?

“Our relationship has… evolved over the years.”

Future Phlox is looking sharp. T’Pol’s hope about the treatment shines through.

Captain Tucker! Malcolm’s goatee!

Given the seeming romantic bias of the writer, it’s not all that surprising Trip/T’Pol sours pretty quickly in this timeline. Not only did T’pol and Trip’s dalliance fall apart, but they have seemingly stayed apart for years. T’Pol and her concern continues to follow Archer.

I may have missed similar instances before, but T’Pol’s casual, intimate, comforting touch in private is so cute. And a great visual indicator of how much T’Pol has grown. Archer seems on the verge of broaching the topic of the intimacy when he starts, “If this works…”

T’Pol once again turns down a chance to leave Archer’s side, even after he has seemingly healed.

Phlox: I understand I may have a passenger on my voyage home T’Pol: I’m remaining at the settlement for the time being. He may need my help during his recovery. Phlox: Have you told the Captain how you feel about him? It’s obvious you’ve become quite attached.

The blitz of exposition from Phlox and T’Pol to Trip about changing the past… there’s just so much going on in this episode. This story needed at least one more episode… Or maybe this could have been the plot to an Enterprise movie. Which still could work, given that the narrative necessitates the actors be older for most of it.

General Shran!

The bridge is gone. There are so many intense and devastating moments here… and then it all gets totally erased! Ugh.

Archer remains self-sacrificing to the end, deciding to just blow himself up if that’ll destroy the parasites. Ultimately saving the timeline through the same impulse that set it astray in the first place. He tries to get Phlox and T’Pol to save themselves, but they remain as steadfastly loyal as they have ever been. I love these three so much!

All three die carrying through the mission to the end. Phlox, then T’Pol, then Archer. Archer and T’Pol fall together and are laying together when this timeline comes to and end. The closest the ship ever came to being canon… and poof it’s gone.

There’s a tag at the end that’s real, with T’Pol admonishing Archer that he should have left her in the hallway accident that initially debilitated him. This calls back to her similar claim after her experiences on the Selaya. Archer, who has been isolating himself and becoming more ruthless, reverts back to his old self when it comes to T’Pol.

T’Pol: You could have been seriously injured. I told you to leave me behind. Archer: Fortunately, I don’t take orders from you. T’Pol: I believe you wanted to see this? Archer: Rosemary’s Baby? T’Pol: You were obviously looking forward to it. And since you’re not going to be able to attend tonight… Archer: Thanks.

T’Pol is always there for her Captain, whatever the situation! But the second half of the scene kind of ruins the sentiment. For as good as the rest of the episode is, this end scene is muddled in terms of what tone the writer was going for. I don’t think the actors quite got it either. It seems like Archer repays T’Pol’s kindness by being a brat. And when he drops a ‘nurse’ line… do they remember on some level? Or was that just for the audience? Either way, it’s a weirdly comedic end to a heart-wrenching and emotional episode.

#Star Trek Enterprise #Enterprise #Twilight #Captain Archer #T'Pol #Jolene Blalock #scott bakula

[stilloutofmyvulcanmind]

The Wedding

Pairing: Earth-2 Harry Wells x Female!Reader

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: None

Summary: Needing a date for a cousin’s wedding, you ask your colleague and friend Harry to pretend to be your boyfriend for the day. But is it really pretend when you’re already secretly in love with him?

A/N: My first fully-fledged Harry fic! Ahhhh! If you guys like it and want more, there may be a smutty sequel

                                                       ~

"Got any plans the weekend, Harry?" Cisco asked, leaning back in his chair and stretching his arms. "Or you just gonna wait here for us to get back?" 

Harry glared at him from behind his coffee mug. "Actually, Ramon, I do my best work when I don't have your incessant drivel in my ear."

"Oh yeah, hot stuff? What grand piece of technology are you gonna bless upon us on Monday then? A personality transplant?" Cisco laughed, narrowly swiveling out of the way of the pen that came hurtling towards his head. 

"Nothing this week. I have other plans."

"Suuuch as?" 

"Y/N invited me to her cousin's wedding and asked for me to…pretend we're together. So she doesn't get inundated by annoying questions."

"Ohhh myyy God!" 

"What?" 

"Look, I know my fiction tropes and fake dating? It's a classic! And it's only gonna end one way, my dude."

Harry raised an eyebrow and took a sip of coffee. 

"With you two declaring your love for each other."

Nearly choking, Harry coughed up the drink, his grip on the armrest turning knuckle white. "I...are you…suggesting that I… love Y/N?!" 

"And that she loves you, genius."

Spluttering, Harry shot up from his seat. "Don't be absurd, Ramon! Y/N doesn't love me! The only reason she asked me was because you and Allen are already in relationships! Th-there's no love! Or any romantic…feelings. Why would there be? She's…smart and kind and beautiful! She's brave and strong and I assure you there's no universe in which she'd ever love me!"

Cisco looked at him a moment, smile curling up on his lips. "See, I was just teasing you before, but wow, dude, you're really in love with her."

"Maybe you're in love with her!" 

Cisco simply raised his own mug, failing to hide his own smirk behind it. 

"... Shut up, Ramon." 

~

"Thanks for agreeing to this, Hare," you said, smiling over your shoulder at him before resuming your task of unpacking. 

"It's fine. Nice to get out of the Labs for once." Harry dropped his bag on the armchair of the hotel room you were sharing and hooked the one carrying his suit on the bathroom door frame. "But uh," he gestured to the one bed in the room, "how are we going to negotiate this?" 

"I've got that covered." Reaching into your case, you pulled out the rolled-up sleeping bag.

Harry made a face. "You expect me to let you sleep in that?" 

"I expect you to play me for it." Dropping the bag down, you held up a closed fist. "Paper, rock, scissors."

Harry stared at you a moment then laughed. The sound made your stomach flip in the giddiest of ways. "You should know I've never lost a game," he said, walking towards you. 

"There's a first time for everything, Doctor Wells."

"Bring it on, Y/L/N."

~

You looked yourself over in the bathroom mirror a final time, adding the final touches to your make-up and clasping a silver necklace in place. You were ready, and looking pretty damn fine. Knee-length and with a cold shoulder, the midnight blue dress fit you perfectly. Exiting, with the intent on adding your shoes, you stopped short when you saw the sight in front of you. 

Harry was dressed in a suit that matched the shade of blue you wore, an unintentional but useful detail for your ruse, the white button up standing out stark against the jacket. The most distracting detail was the fact that he'd left one too many of the top buttons undone, leaving a tantalizing amount of neck on display.

Not for the first time you wondered if asking Harry to be your fake boyfriend for the day was your smartest idea. Being forced to share a bedroom and pretend to be smitten with the man you were already in love with was definitely going to take a toll on your sanity. But showing up to yet another family event filled with happy couples on your own, and having to deflect the endless questions as to why seemed worse than having to spend forty-eight trying not to go mad. 

"Y/N," Harry's voice broke you free from the trance, "you...you look…nice."

"Thanks. So do you! Who knew you scrubbed up so well." You moved around Harry quickly, avoiding looking at him too much and sat on the edge of the bed, to pull on your heels, while he tucked the sleeping bag he'd ended up using away out of sight. 

"Ready?" You asked, finishing up and grabbing your purse. 

"As I'll ever be." Harry opened the door for you, then locked it behind you both before passing you the key to tuck away in your purse. 

Even though the hotel had been booked by your cousin for all the out of town guests, you hadn't expected to do much pretending until the reception. While guests were mingling on their way to the ceremony, there wasn't much time to chat yet, so not much time for prying questions or close observations either. Harry, however, seemed prepared to delve straight into it. He took your hand in his almost immediately, giving you a quick glance to make sure it was okay, then walked with you to the elevator. It was a simple gesture, but it sent your heart racing. 

How the hell were you going to survive the day? 

~

You were starting to think you'd accidentally brought another Wells doppelganger to the wedding. A much more polite, charming doppelganger, because it had been two hours now and Harry had yet to reduce anyone to tears or be anything more than a little sardonic. 

"Who are you and what have you done to Harry Wells?" you whispered in his ear as you lined up outside the fancy hall to congratulate the newlyweds and take your seats for the reception meal. 

Harry chuckled. "I don't think your family would approve of your new 'boyfriend' if I was my usual self."

"Okay, fair. Still, it's weird. I wasn't aware you even knew how to be charming."

"You don't build a billion-dollar research company by not knowing how to occasionally butter people up."

"Well, thank you. It must be painful for you, and I appreciate it."

Harry smiled at you softly. It was the same one you'd only ever previously seen him use on Jesse. It did a funny little thing to your heart and nearly distracted you from the hand that came to rest low on your back as he guided you forward. 

"Annie! Congratulations!" You beamed, hugging your cousin and kissing her on the cheek. "You look beautiful!" 

"Thank you!" Both she and her new husband couldn't stop grinning, and you loved how happy they looked. 

"Uh, this is Harry, my boyfriend." The word sounded strange to say. 

"A pleasure. Congratulations," Harry smiled, shaking both their hands. 

"I could hardly believe it when Y/N told me she'd be bringing a plus one! You kept that one quiet!" 

Laughing nervously, you shrugged. "We wanted to keep it on the down-low for a bit."

"Wanted to keep him to yourself more like!" 

"That too."

"You know, you look kinda familiar, Harry, but I can't- oooh! I know! You look like that scientist Y/N used to crush on! What was his name again, Y/N?" 

Feeling the heat rapidly spread up your neck and across your cheeks, you looked at anywhere other than Harry. "I, uh, I can't remember now."

Annie gave you a knowing look, but Harry came to your rescue before any more embarrassment could be had. "We'll let you greet the rest of your guests. Congratulations, again."

"Thank you, Harry. Talk later."

Harry led you into the beautifully decorated hall, his hand still hovering on your back as you made your way to the table. You were the first ones there to take a seat, which meant you were unable to escape the look he gave you. 

"So, you used to have a crush on Harrison Wells?" He asked with an amused eyebrow raise. 

You groaned, wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole. "In my defense that was years before I joined the Team and found out about the whole evil speedster thing. Don't mention it to anyone, please?" 

Harry looked at you a moment longer, then nodded. "It stays between us."

"Thank you."

Other guests began to arrive at your table, and the topic was dropped. 

~

The food was amazing and the company just as much, and with the distraction of other people to talk to, it was easier to ignore the constant butterflies in your stomach. 

After the meal and the speeches and the first dance, people began to mingle. You and Harry mostly stayed at your table, however, talking with your Great Aunt Margaret. The woman was in her nineties now, but she was just as sharp as ever, and probably one of the members of your family you were closest too. 

"Another drink, ladies?" Harry asked after a little while. 

"Gin and tonic for me, dear."

"Y/N?"

"Just an orange juice." As tempting as it was to just drown your feelings in alcohol, keeping a clear meant it was far less likely you'd make a fool of yourself by saying something you regretted. 

Harry nodded, standing from the table and heading over to the bar. 

"So, who’s he really?" Margaret asked as soon as Harry was out of earshot. 

"What do you mean? He's my boyfriend." Margaret fixed you with her infamous 'cut the bullshit' look. "He's a co-worker. A friend. I asked him so I wouldn't have to show up to another family function alone."

Margaret watched you thoughtfully. "That's what I thought. You've been too skittish around him for you to be together."

"Was it that obvious?" 

"Only to me, dear." She smiled and leaned across the table to you. "But you two need to talk."

"Why?" 

"Because it's clear he's more than just a friend to you, and he's hopelessly in love with you."

"Wh-what? No, he's not!" 

"Dear, I don't think I've ever seen a man more in love."

"I…" Looking away and down at your hands, you chewed your lip. "How do you know?" 

"The way he looks at you. It's plain to see."

"No, no, I'd have noticed if he'd been looking at me like that!" 

"We don't reveal our true feelings when the object of them is watching. We wait until we think they aren't looking. And the way that man looks at you when you aren't paying attention...it's like you hung the moon. I can tell you there aren't many people lucky enough to be on the receiving end of that kind of adoration."

"Oh." 

Margaret's smile was kind when you met her gaze again. "Talk to Harry, Y/N. You deserve to be happy, and I get the feeling he does too."

"He does. He's been through a lot." 

"Did I miss anything?" Harry returned carrying your drinks. 

"Just some girl talk. Thank you," Margaret said as he set the glasses down in front of you. "Why don't you two have a dance?" 

"Oh no, you know I'm not much of dancer-" 

"Nonsense! I went to enough of your dance rehearsals to know better!" 

"Aunt Margaret-" 

"All the other couples are up dancing! You don't want to be the odd duck, do you?" To anyone else, Margaret's happy grin seemed innocent enough. You knew better. "Go on! Off with you! I'll watch your drinks!" 

Before you could protest further, you were being poked out of your seat by her walking stick in your ribs. 

Harry followed suit before he too came under attack, and took your hand as you merged into the crowd already on the dance floor. 

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm the one who should be apologizing for this-" Harry pulled a few moves that could really only be described as 'dad dancing.'

Muffling a laugh with your hand, "That's…something," you giggled, swaying your own body in time with the music. 

"Told you."

"Maybe one day I'll teach you a few moves. Ready for when you have to do your Father/Daughter dance with Jesse."

Harry groaned, "Don't. Don't make me think about that."

Giggling again, it turned into a squeak of surprise when Harry suddenly grabbed your hand and twirled you around. 

"That's what happens when you tease," he grinned, hands landing on your hips to steady you. 

"Not the worst punishment I could think of."

"Oh, and what is?" 

"Wouldn't you like to know?" 

"Maybe."

Realizing you were suddenly on the border of flirting, you shrugged. "You know, the usual. The same stuff everyone else hates as punishment," you mumbled. 

"I see." It seemed like Harry was going to step back and let go of your hips when the song changed. A slow song. A slow, romantic song. Harry swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing, "We should...head back?" 

You were going to nod when you looked across the floor to spot Margaret. She motioned for you to move close together. "Or...we could stay. Unless you want to get whacked with a walking stick that is."

"No. No, I don't."

It was awkward for a moment, then Harry took you into hold, one hand staying on your hip while he took one of your own in the other, with your free arm finding it's way to his shoulder. 

He smiled. You returned it. Together you started to sway softly to the music. 

It was way too intimate. More intimate than you really had the capacity to deal with, especially after your earlier conversation with Margaret. So you did the only thing you could think of to not have to look Harry in the eye. You lay your head on his chest. 

For a split second, Harry's breath seemed to hitch, then it evened out again, though his hold on you tightened slightly, drawing you in until there was no space left between you. 

Okay so maybe this was actually way more intimate. But at least now, with your head tilted away from him, you didn't have to hide the sappy smile that spread across your face.

Yet your mind was still racing. Was Margaret right? She'd never been wrong before. But that would mean Harry actually loved you in return, and that...that was nearly enough to make your brain explode. 

You would have to tell him. He'd never say anything himself. But when? Now? Later? Tomorrow? Next week? That would be safest. If things went sour you wouldn't have to share a room or a car, and you could simply retreat to the safety of your apartment and eat away your feelings. Yet it felt like if you didn't say anything soon you'd implode. 

It was so hard to think when he was still swaying you like this and was he…he was resting his cheek on top of your head. He was relaxed. Enjoying it just as much as you were. 

The song came to an end, and Harry's grip loosened enough for you to take a step back. He didn't say a word. Just looked at you with that soft smile again. 

You had to say something. Now. Just say the words and tell him. It'd be fine. You just had to say three little words. 

"I...I'm really warm. I'm gonna go get some fresh air."

Coward. 

Turning before you could see his face drop, you wormed your way off the dance floor and made a beeline for the door, exiting out into the garden and the cool night air. 

"Stupid, stupid!" You muttered under your breath, pacing up and down the cobblestone path. How could you have chickened out like that? The opportunity was right there. And there was no way Harry would've bought the 'needing fresh air' excuse, which meant now you had to come up with something more believable or leave it feeling awkward. Why did you have to fuck it all up? 

"Y/N?" Harry's voice from behind you nearly startled you out of your skin. Spinning around, you saw him approach, illuminated by garden lights that lined the path. "Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

"If I did something-" 

"No! You didn't do anything. You've been amazing all day, Harry."

Nodding, Harry came to a stop in front of you. "You ran out so quickly, I thought...maybe…"

"It's not you, I just...I had to get out before I did something potentially very stupid. We both know how much you hate stupid."

"The last thing you could ever be is stupid."

"Says the man with seven PhDs. Pretty much everyone is stupid to you."

"Never you."

The way he was looking at you...it made you want to turn and run. There were too many emotions in his eyes, and it almost made you hate the hope that bubbled up in your chest. 

Harry was the first to move, running a hand through his hair as he turned away. "Ramon...he said this would happen. I thought...I told him not to be ridiculous. Now here I am…he'll never let me live it down."

"What did he say would happen?" You asked, voice barely above a whisper. 

Taking a breath, Harry faced you. "He said I'd end up...saying how I love you."

The world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you, the din from the party could no longer be heard, the garden disappeared, only you and Harry and the thumping of your heart remained. "You love me?" 

"How could I not? You're...special. I'm not an easy person to get on with. I know I'm an annoying, cantankerous dick, and while I can act the charmer, when I'm just being…me, I can't, I don't...I don't always find it easy being around people. Except you. From the start being around you was easy. You know when to call me out or when to let me rant, and always you're kind. You're smart and brave and beautiful and I love you."

You stood in shock, simply staring at him. You'd never expected him to say anything let alone make a confession like that. 

Harry cleared his throat, "Of course I value your friendship above anything else. Say the word and I'll never mention it-" 

"I love you too. I wanted to say it in there, after our dance, but I couldn't…I was too scared it wouldn't be reciprocated." 

For a breath, Harry hesitated, then he took your face in his hands, fingers curling around the back of your neck and pulled you into a kiss. Your response was immediate, kissing him back as fiercely as he kissed you, your own hands clutching at his arms. It was everything you'd ever imagined and then some. 

Breaking the kiss Harry stayed where he was, holding you as if he were scared you'd slip away if he let go. 

"Wow," you whispered, leaning your forehead against his. 

"I should've said something sooner."

"I should've too, but it doesn't matter now."

"No, it doesn't."

Unable to stop the giggling like a schoolgirl, you kissed him again. "Just so you know I'm going to want a lot of these kisses." 

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

"I love you, Harrison Wells."

"I love you too."

Best wedding ever. 

Like what you read? Consider buying me a coffee! I’ll love you forever!

Tagging: @pinkdiamond1016​

#harry wells x reader #harrison wells x reader #earth 2 harrison wells x reader #harry wells #harrison wells #harry wells imagine #harrison wells imagine #the flash imagine

[donteattheappleshook]

Some Cupid Kills With Arrows

***

A Captain Swan AU loosely based on Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing for the @captainswanmoviemarathon​

Rated M

Read on Ao3 because tumblr eats my italics

Summary:

Emma and Killian hate each other. They have since the night they met. Or at least since the morning after. So Emma is dreading having to deal with them being Maid of Honour and Best Man at her brother's wedding. But, as their friends grow more and more annoyed at their constant bickering and a masquerade Stag and Doe turns everything on it's head, the entire bridal party come to a startling realisation: Emma and Killian might just be perfect for each other. With a little scheming and some well-timed chaos, maybe they can stop yelling at each other long enough to realise it too. 

An enormous, huge, giant thank you to @ultraluckycatnd​ for her fantastic beta work and for helping me with this fic right up to the last second despite all my procrastinating. You are lovely and the best <3

Part One

Her head. Oh, god, her head. Why did her head hurt so much? Emma groaned, a pathetic whimper coming out as she tried to roll over on the couch. Her stomach gave an uneasy roll of its own at the movement, protesting against the liquor that was still swirling around inside.

Right. Liquor. Drinking. Drinking last night. Drinking with David. David. She was going to have to kill David. David, who insisted she show up early to this weekend extravaganza disguised as a wedding. The one who claimed that since he’d lost his best man when Mary Margaret stole his little sister to be her maid of honour that he was entitled to a brother-sister pre-bachelor party. It’s only fair, he’d insisted, flashing her those big puppy dog eyes and Emma had caved. She always caved when it came to her brother - or his fiance for that matter. She was weak when it came to those two. And now she had to murder one of them. Murder her only brother two days before his wedding for forcing what must have been an entire bottle of expensive scotch down her throat while they played poker and smoked cigars (and later sang along to the entire Mama Mia soundtrack - not that she’d ever admit that). Pity. She really liked David.

“Emma, Emma, bo-bemma, Banana-fana fo-femma, Fee-fi-mo-memma. Emma!” The loud singing announced her brother practically bouncing into the room and throwing himself on the couch near her feet. Emma groaned again and threw a pillow over her ears to try and block out the off-key hollering from the asshole next to her. She was liking him less and less with every passing second.

David laughed and ripped the pillow out of her grasp. “Rise and shine sister-mine!” he chanted. She was actually going to murder him. She reached out, a pathetic attempt to strike him but her hand just fell limply at her side.

“They will never find your body,” she told him. He laughed again and Emma cursed David and his super liver. She’d been his sister since she was ten; since Ruth found her on the street, burning a book of fairy tales to keep warm, and had taken her home for the night. That night had turned into forever and now, after eighteen years of living with the man, she’d never once seen him suffer a hangover.

“How are you so chipper?” she asked. Her voice sounded like she’d gargled sandpaper. David smiled, hauling her up by the shoulders until she was sitting like an almost-human.

He threw his arms out. “It’s a beautiful day?” he offered. “I’m one morning closer to marrying the woman of my dreams? Everyone who I love and who loves me is on their way to celebrate the happiest moment of my life?” Emma frowned at him. How dare he be so happy so early. David laughed at her misery again but patted her shoulder sympathetically before rising up and walking across the hall to the kitchen. Then, as if out of nowhere, a giant cup of coffee, a bottle of water, and two extra-strength Tylenol capsules appeared on the table in front of her. She wondered if she’d fallen asleep for a minute there.

Emma reached for the coffee like it was a lifeline - which it really was if she was being honest. She drank deeply and felt the effects almost immediately. She downed the pills and water next. She couldn’t quite manage a smile since this was still technically his fault, but she offered David a thankful look for taking care of her. Okay, maybe she wouldn’t have to murder him. Just some light maiming.

“You might want to jump in the shower,” he told her as she shuffled into the kitchen, he himself already looking and smelling fresh as a daisy. “You look a little rough,” he said with a grimace. Emma scowled at him and threw a nearby banana at his head which he easily dodged. She caught a glimpse of her reflection though, in the metallic gleam of the toaster and, well, he wasn’t wrong. “Just thought you’d want to freshen up and wake up before everyone gets here,” he suggested.

That’s right. It was Thursday. Everyone was arriving today. Oh, God. Emma had not played this right. Getting hammered on the night before the festivities even began. Today everyone would be arriving and settling into their respective rooms in the estate (read: mansion) owned by Mary Margaret’s parents - seriously the place was enormous. Mary Margaret had told her once how many bedrooms it had but the number had been so ridiculous and so superfluous that Emma had struck it from her memory. Nobody with an only child needed a house with rooms in the double digits. And this wasn’t even their home. No, they considered this place their ‘summer cottage’ where they would entertain friends on the private lake. It was convenient for a wedding though, she had to say. The whole bridal party was staying there for the entire weekend.

Tonight was the Stag and Doe. Leave it to David and Mary Margaret to find a way to avoid having to be apart even for their bachelor and bachelorette parties. It wasn’t like they’d ever been apart since they were fourteen years old - why start now? It was themed. Of course it was themed. Mary Margaret loved themes and David loved Mary Margaret so he let her have whatever damn theme she wanted, and since her parents had put their foot down against their daughter getting married on Halloween, they were having a costume stag and doe . She groaned. There were so many people coming. She knew. She’d had to organize it.

Tomorrow was the spa day for Mary Margaret and her bridesmaids and she assumed the boys would be treating David to some sort of manly pre-wedding tradition. All the out of town family would be arriving for the rehearsal dinner on Saturday. And then finally, the wedding was on Sunday. This weekend was a marathon, she mused, not a sprint.

Dozens of decorators, caterers, florists, and lots of other jobs Emma had never heard of were already running around the grounds - yes, the place had grounds - setting things up for what would certainly be the most lavish and extravagant (knowing Mary Margaret’s parents) yet classy and intimate (knowing Mary Margaret) wedding the world had ever seen. And all of them were under the direct orders of Regina Mills, David and Mary Margaret’s wedding planner and probably the most terrifying woman Emma had ever met.

Emma needed to boot and rally. She was the maid of honour and the groom’s sister. This weekend was not about her. Her job was to make sure everything ran smoothly. That the two most important people in her life had the most amazing few days of their lives and nothing and no-one was going to stand in her way.

Except maybe her speech, Emma thought as she turned on the shower and stepped under it. The hot water felt good and helped wake her up a little. The speech. The speech that she’d had nearly a year to write and still only had a blank page to show for it. How was she supposed to write a speech about love when she didn’t believe in it herself?

Well, that wasn’t completely true. She believed that some love was possible. But only for certain people. People like David and Mary Margaret who had found ‘The One’ when they were in the eighth grade and had never looked back. But they were the exception, not the rule.

Love had only ever left Emma hurt and alone. Love had only ever left her behind. First her birth parents who abandoned her on the side of the road as an infant. Then the string of foster parents that had cast her aside when they decided she wasn’t what they wanted. Then Ruth who had died far too young and left her and David behind. Then Neal, her high school boyfriend who had been her first everything before he disappeared to another city without so much as a ‘see ya’ text. And now David and Mary Margaret were getting married and starting a family of their own - one she wouldn’t be as much of a part of, no matter how much her brother insisted things wouldn’t change.

No, love wasn’t in the cards for Emma. She told people she didn’t have time for it but really she just didn’t have the heart for it. A heart could only take so many blows before it learned to rebuild itself out of something stronger. The taunting lilt of ‘always a bridesmaid, never a bride’ flitted through her head and she shook it away. She was fine like this. She was happy. She had a job she loved, a nice apartment, and good friends. She didn’t need love.

As she finished drying her hair and putting on enough makeup so that she didn’t look like an extra from The Walking Dead, Emma heard the commotion of people arriving. She could pick out Mary Margaret, Belle, Elsa and Ruby’s voices easily and she rushed out to greet her friends. They squealed when they saw her and her head only protested a little as they wrapped her up in a tangle of limbs that passed for a group hug.

Mary Margaret gave her a sympathetic look. “How was the pre-bachelor party?” she asked and Emma only grunted in response.

“You guys got here okay?” David asked, squeezing in to grab his bride-to-be and give her a kiss that would make you think she’d been away for months and not for a night.

“Save it for the honeymoon would you?” Ruby said in mock disgust and David looked at her with a wolfish smile.

“Don’t be jealous, Ruby! I’ve got one for you too!” David rushed to grab a protesting Ruby and planted a big, sloppy kiss on her cheek.

Emma smiled as she watched her friends laugh and joke and tease each other. She loved having them all here together. Soon the boys would get here too and for one, perfect weekend everything would be just the way it should be. All her friends in one place, celebrating together for the first time since her college graduation.

Well, almost perfect. All of them being here also meant he would be here. He and his snark and his ego and his womanizing ways. She supposed it was a small price to pay for the reunion. And she couldn’t deny that she really enjoyed the look on his face when she put him in his place.

“Oh! It’s Killian,” David said, pulling his phone out of his pocket to check a message. Speak of the devil , she thought. “He says they should be here in five,” David informed them, tucking his phone away.

“Great,” Emma said sarcastically and David shot her a begrudging look. She saw Ruby and Belle roll their eyes as Elsa and Mary Margaret started putting things away.

“Be nice,” David warned her.

“I’m always nice!” she insisted, offended. “ He’s the one who can’t seem to manage to be a decent human being for more than five minutes.”

“Come on, Emma,” Mary Margaret insisted from the kitchen. “You’re just as guilty. I don’t know why you egg him on.” She shook her head and Emma balked.

“I do not! I just think that the man needs reminding every now and then that he’s not God’s gift to women.” It was David who rolled his eyes this time. “Seriously, David, how you can stand to have him be your best man -” she started.

“Nope,” he cut her off. “You don’t get to complain about that. You chose Mary Margaret over me when we both asked you, so I had to find someone else. Besides, Killian is my best friend.” She balked. David rolled his eyes. “My best male friend,” he corrected. “So, again, be nice .” He gave her a stern look.

“But he’s just so… so…”

“So what?” Ruby asked, looking like she was really enjoying this.

Elsa shot her a look. “Don’t encourage her, Ruby.”

Ruby grinned. “Oh come on, it’s fun! It’s like a free show watching those two go at each other.”

“We do not go at each other!” Emma insisted again. “I just find it hard to say nothing like all of you do when he goes around acting so… cocky.”

“Cocky?” Ruby prodded and Belle elbowed her.

“You know what I mean. Every time he comes here, it’s all, oh, I’ve done this and don’t worry, I know how to do that ... Look at me, I’m so handsome and -”

“Handsome?” Mary Margaret interjected with a raised eyebrow.

“Shut it!” she cast her friend a warning glare. “I mean he thinks he’s the hottest thing since the Hemsworths. And it doesn’t help that he always drags along some bimbo whose sole purpose in life seems to be to fluff his ego and his…” she made a vague hand gesture, “you know.”

“Woah, Emma, tell us how you really feel, why don’t you?” Ruby laughed.

“He’s really not actually -” David started but she cut him off.

“Look, it’s nothing against the women okay - I’m sure on some level they’re really nice or whatever, or have some great heart or talent, but honestly, any woman who is willing to be Killian Jones’ date must have the IQ and backbone of a slug.”

“He’s not bringing a date,” David told her before she could go on.

Emma reeled back from the news. Killian Jones without a date? Impossible. The man couldn’t stand to be caught dead without something shiny on his arm.

“What? Has he finally slept with every woman in America and abroad?”

David rolled his eyes. “He’s bringing his brother. Something about him being on shore leave and wanting to spend time with him.”

“Oh my God,” Emma groaned, putting her head in her hands.

“See?” Belle piped in softly, misunderstanding her distress. “I’ve always said you judged him too quickly-”

“ There’s two of them !?” she demanded, hoping someone would tell her it was a joke. There was a collective groan and a small laugh from her friends. “Is one Jones in this world not enough?” she asked the room.

Before anyone had a chance to answer, a smooth, accented voice called from down the hall. “Hello? Is someone getting married here?”

“Robin!” Mary Margaret cheered, perking right up as though there was anywhere left for her to perk. “We’re in the kitchen!” she called.

“How the bloody hell do we find the kitchen?” came another accented voice, this one rougher around the edges. “This place is a maze.” Will! Emma rushed out with Mary Margaret to help their friends navigate the enormous house.

They found them looking confused in the front hall and Emma practically threw herself in Will’s arms as Mary Margaret greeted her guests.

Will had been in the same foster home as her when they were little. He was only a few years older, but he’d made a point to look out for her when most of the older kids had been inclined to pick on the smaller ones. She’d run away when he’d been transferred to another home for fighting and, after Ruth adopted her, she thought she’d never see him again. But with some help she’d managed to track him down in high school and was happy to find out he’d been placed with a distant relative the state had managed to locate in the area - a second cousin, Robin.

Robin was in college and on his own at the time, but took Will under his wing and had brought him up more like a little brother than a son. When David, Mary Margaret, and Emma had all ended up at the same college as Will and Robin, the friendship had been inevitable. Will introduced them to Ruby, and Mary Margaret became quick friends with Belle and Elsa when they all joined and felt like the odd ones out in the same sorority. However, Will had also unfortunately introduced them all to his classmate and drinking buddy, Killian Jones - something Emma would never forgive him for.

“Hey! You’re going to ruin my shirt!” he told her, pretending he wasn’t hugging her back.

“Your shirt’s already wrinkled,” she told him.

“It’s disheveled,” he corrected her. “There’s a difference.”

“Come now, Swan, I know it can be difficult to find men at your age, but there’s no need to throw yourself at poor Will like that.”

And there it was. Ninety seconds. He’d lasted a whole ninety seconds before saying something rude and asshole-ish and just… ugh. She hated him.

She opened her mouth to retort but Robin beat her to it. He turned on Killian, finger extended in warning. “You! No. None of that. We talked about this.”

Killian snapped his mouth shut and held his hands up in innocence but she could see him biting back a smile. Ugh, he even looked smug when he was being chastised. She looked him over, arming herself for the battle that was soon to come, scanning for anything she could throw back in his face when she needed it, something to bring him back down to size.

He was handsome - she had to give him that. He was probably one of the best looking men she’d ever met and she remembered thinking so the first time they were introduced. But when he opened his mouth... god. The sheer level of douche that was contained in one man. It made her shudder at the thought and angry at her past self for judging a book by its cover. Why her friends put up with him, she’d never understand.

The others had joined them in the hall by now and pleasantries were being exchanged. But as she hugged Robin, and Killian exchanged how-have-you-beens with David and Belle, she could feel his eyes on her. That was another thing that drove her crazy about him. He always seemed to be paying too much attention to her - probably sizing her up the way she did him.

But sometimes… sometimes she’d caught him watching her with an expression that wasn’t mirthful or arrogant - a small smile curling the corner of his mouth as if against his will, his brow softened from it’s usual expressiveness. It made her unsteady, made her feel unbalanced because she didn’t know what to make of it. What to make of the fact that she kind of liked it. That scared the shit out of her.

“Allow me to introduce my brother,” Killian was suddenly saying and she realised she may have been the one staring this time. “Everyone, this is Liam. Liam this is… everyone,” he smiled. Emma raised her brow at them both. Another Jones. This could not end well. “It’s Liam’s first time in the States,” he informed them as Liam shook hands with everyone.

“Well,” Liam interjected, “first time off a ship anyway.”

“Welcome,” David said, patting him on the shoulder.

“We’re so happy to have you here,” Mary Margaret cheered, hugging him.

“Nice to meet you,” Elsa smiled, offering her hand. Liam looked from Mary Margaret to her and for a second his eyes went a little wide - Elsa could have that effect - before he took her hand and held it a fraction too long. Elsa’s smile shifted as she looked at him and Liam finally released her hand.

“Thank you,” Liam smiled, looking down at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck. “I do hope I’m not intruding,” he offered. “Only it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to see my brother and…” Holy shit. Was he blushing? Emma thought. How the hell was this guy related to Killian?

“Of course you’re not,” she found herself saying before she could stop herself. He must be adopted. That was the only explanation. “This family has always had a soft spot for picking up strays along the way,” she insisted. “Emma,” she told him her name.

“Ah, Emma,” he said, casting a look at Killian. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Emma cast her own look at the other brother, skeptical of what he could have possibly said about her. He maintained his look of innocence. Liam smiled and took her hand, shaking it. “A pleasure,” he said and she smiled back almost instinctively. Maybe her judgement had been off when she’d first met Killian but she liked to think she was a pretty good judge of character. And Liam, well Liam had an air about him. It was the opposite of Killian’s. Where Killian exuded cockiness and pretense, Liam was modest and sincere. Well what do you know, she thought, there is a Jones out there I could like.

Quickly, once all the greetings had been taken care of, Emma informed everyone of the schedule for the weekend. “What will the guys be doing tomorrow?” she asked, looking pointedly at the best man.

“We’re going camping,” Killian informed her. It almost pissed her off how perfect a choice that was. David loved camping. “Lots of good old fashioned male bonding,” Killian joked. “I’ve packed enough cigars and whiskey to take down a horse. Let’s see if we can get Dave hungover for the first time in his life shall we?” Emma braced himself for whatever he was going to say next. “Besides, it will give us a chance to give him some tips for the wedding night.” He winked at the groom.

“Well, that’s our cue, I think,” David said, rolling his eyes at his friend. “Let’s go find everyone a room and have a drink and maybe some pizza before people get here.”

As the gang headed into the kitchen, Killian went about hanging up his jacket and setting his keys down before picking up his bag, calling after them. “Don’t worry Dave! I can tell you what to do so you don’t bleed your first time!” Emma lingered behind. She couldn’t help herself.

“You know you talk a lot for a guy nobody listens to.”

And there it was, that cocky, amused smile he seemed to save only for her. Emma ignored the little flip her stomach did - convincing herself that it was just leftover hangover symptoms.

“ Swan ,” he said almost affectionately, but there was a mocking there too. “We didn’t have a chance to say hello! You look…” He paused, taking in what she was sure were dark circles and pale skin. “Alive... mostly. How absolutely wonderful for someone, I’m sure.”

She didn’t even let it phase her. If he was already relying on physical insults she’d already won. “I noticed you didn’t bring a date.” He eyed her skeptically. “Did you forget to pay your tab at Escorts ‘R Us this month?”

He smiled. “I don’t see your date, Swan. Or is he already making a hasty escape out the bathroom window? Don’t take it too hard. Not everyone can have as many suitors as some.”

She rolled her eyes. “Ha,” she snorted. “Yeah I know all about your many suitors. Tell me something,” she started, inching closer and speaking low like it was a secret. He leaned in almost like a reflex. “Does your right hand know that you sometimes cheat on it with your left?”

He laughed outright at that. “Ah, love, it might shock you to discover that some of us are capable of finding willing partners for the world’s oldest dance. But I can understand how some might be led to believe one’s hand is one’s only option.”

She tilted her head. “Yeah, I’m gonna bet that partners like you are part of the reason so many dancers prefer their own hand. Might have something to do with why you only ever have a date for one night...”

It was his turn to inch forward. He stepped closer until there was barely any breathing room between them but Emma held her ground, tilting her chin up at him and meeting his gaze. “Oh, believe me. My prowess leaves nothing to be desired,” he promised. His voice had dropped, sounding gravelly and making his accent more pronounced. Emma steeled herself,  ignoring the way the heat of him and the smell of his cologne warmed her skin. He always smelled so damn good, like leather and the sea. It was destabilizing and she nearly stumbled on her next words.

“And yet, you brought your brother as your date. Something tells me he doesn't put out.” He smiled at her and it was that smile she’d seen before - the unsettling one. The one that messed with this thing they had going - this mutual distaste. She needed to wipe it off his face. “Maybe I should find out,” she added with a suggestive brow and watched with pride and a small flicker of disappointment as the smile fell from his face.

“I’ll not have you defiling my brother, Swan!” He said it in jest, but he didn’t seem quite committed to his mock offence. She worried she may have pushed too far.

“Emma! Killian! Let’s go!” Belle shouted from the kitchen. “We’re ordering pizza and Ruby is getting hangry. Killian I swear she’ll put mushrooms on yours if you don’t come tell us what you want!”

They broke apart and it was only a second before Killian’s regular cock-sure bravado was back in place.

“Shall we?” he asked, indicating that she should lead the way down the hall.

Only four days. She told herself. She could handle four days.  

-/-

“So tell me, Mary Margaret,” Killian asked later as they were all eating their pizza. Emma had nearly let slide his ‘ really Swan, anchovies?’ comment, but then suggested he try the one with garlic since it was unlikely he would find anyone desperate enough to kiss him tonight. He refused, insisting that experience had taught him to be optimistic. She’d muttered something about women with no standards before Robin had told them to knock it off and eat their bloody pizza. “What exactly does this party tonight entail? All Belle said was that I had to dress up? It’s lucky I still had my Halloween costume from last year.”

“You mean your halloween costume from every year ,” Emma snarked. Killian smirked.

“Why mess with perfection?” he asked. “Besides, Captain Hook is always a killer with the ladies.”

“No!” Mary Margaret covered her ears. “We’re not supposed to know what you’re dressing up as!”

“Way to ruin the surprise,” Emma said harshly and regretted it when she saw genuine surprise and regret cross his face. She ignored it, turning to the groomsmen who weren’t aware of the plans for the night. “We’re having a masquerade ball. Belle and Elsa spent weeks making everyone gorgeous masks to choose from and wear with their costumes. Nobody can know who anyone is, though. We’re doing this the right way. Nobody reveals their identities until midnight. That’s how long Mary Margaret and David have to find each other once we separate them at the beginning of the party.”

“I’m sorry, are you trying to tell me that these two haven’t told each other exactly what they’re dressing up as? I don’t buy it,” Robin shook his head.

“We took care of that,” Emma laughed. “Well, Belle did. Belle picked out their costumes and has kept them a secret. Thanks again,” she said, turning to the woman in question.

“My pleasure,” she said. “Actually, Elsa helped a lot. Her taste is impeccable.”

“Well, you couldn't have left Swan to do it. They’d both be wearing jeans and leather jackets.”

Emma shot him a look but Elsa was quicker. “How exactly is that different from your everyday look? Worried she might have picked out the wrong shade of black?” she challenged, eyeing up his black jeans, black boots, and black shirt. His black leather jacket still hung in the closet in the front hall. Liam hid his guffaw behind his hand and Elsa smirked proudly.

“Don’t worry,” Emma jumped in. “Killian doesn’t need a costume. He’s always dressed like a giant tool.” It wasn’t her best insult but hey, they couldn’t all be winners.

Killian smirked, stepping closer to her, invading her space a little, His voice was low and suggestive. “I’d be happy to show you my giant tool, Swan,” he offered and Emma pulled a face.

“ Oh my god, just bone already ,” she heard Ruby mutter under her breath.

“What?” they both snapped but Ruby pretended like she hadn’t heard them.

Liam laughed again and Elsa turned to him with wide, almost sorrowful eyes. “Oh, Liam,” she said and he turned to her. Emma wasn’t sure if she imagined the slight redness on his cheeks. It was very like his brother’s. “I’m so sorry. Killian didn’t tell us you were coming,” she glared at her friend. “Do you have a costume? I’m sure we could put something together if you -”

“Don’t trouble yourself, love,” he answered. “Killian forgot to mention a costume when he invited me.” He shot his brother a look. “But thankfully, my brother still had his costume from the time he played Westley in that Princess Bride stage play in college.”

Emma lit up just as Killian grimaced. “I’m sorry, the time he what ?” she asked, beaming. Oh, this was too good. She definitely needed to hear that story. Liam smirked, looking at his brother’s embarrassment and Emma once again marveled at how much she liked the older Jones brother.

“Hey! No more costume talk!” Ruby jumped in. “We can’t have David and Mary Margaret knowing who anyone is! It will spoil the game!”

“Sorry,” Liam said, looking a little abashed. “Mum’s the word,” He cast Emma a glance out of the corner of his eye, leaning in to stage-whisper. “He had the ponytail and everything,” he told her conspiratorially. It took everything she had not to burst out laughing, instead settling for tossing a shit-eating grin and a ‘ just wait ” look at Killian. Killian looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“Liam, you might be becoming one of my favorite people.”

He grinned.

“We should start getting ready,” Belle chimed in. “People will be arriving soon.”

“Oh I can’t wait to see the costumes!” Mary Margaret squealed and then turned suddenly. “Emma!” Emma jumped. “Will you let me do your makeup? Please? You never let me and it’s my wedding!”

Emma sighed, giving in to her friend’s decades-long attempt at dolling her up. The last time she'd caved had been prom night. “Fine.”

“Oh thank you! You’re going to look gorgeous!” Mary Margaret squealed before quickly catching herself. “Not that you don’t always look gorgeous!”

Emma saw Killian open his mouth but didn’t give him the chance. “Can it, Ponytail.”

He pressed his mouth into a tight line but the corners turned up despite how obviously he was trying to fight it.

“Wait, first let me show you your costume,” Belle said to Mary Margaret. Emma didn’t know which one of them was more excited at the prospect.

“Okay! Emma, meet me in my room okay?” The bride-to-be waited for Emma to nod in agreement (defeat) before rushing off with Belle, Elsa and Ruby following quickly behind. Emma stood shaking her head as they ran away giggling. David corralled all the boys, rushing them off in the other direction to do… whatever guys did to get ready for a party. She watched them all disappearing down the hall, whooping and cheering. She thought she might have heard Will shout something about David finding his True Love and she shook her head.

“This is why I’m never going to fall in love,” she groaned to nobody in particular, shaking her head. “It makes people act like idiots.”

“At least we can agree on one thing,” she heard a voice answer. Her eyes snapped up to see Killian, still hovering in the doorway. He smiled slightly at her. “Not in the cards for me either, I think.” There was something vulnerable about the way he said it, like there was some secret that she was missing. Just for a second, she caught herself wondering what it was, feeling a slight tug in her chest at the defeated way he spoke. A connection? She smothered that feeling right away.

“Lucky for the women of the world,” Emma answered.

He only gave her another one of those small, half smiles before following the others down the hall.

“Emma! Get your ass up here!” Ruby shouted from one of the bedrooms. Emma left the kitchen, doing her best to ignore the way getting the last word with Killian hadn’t left her feeling as smug as it usually did.

-/-

“Ah, there’s my best man,” David said as Killian walked into the room. “Leaving me in my hour of need already?”

“Please, I was gone for less than a minute. Couldn’t you guys keep yourselves entertained for that long without me?” he asked mirthfully.

“What were you doing back there?” Will asked, sounding like he knew the answer already.

“Speaking with the lovely Emma, I’ll wager,” Robin answered with a smirk.

“What else is new?” David asked, rolling his eyes before Killian could defend himself.

“Why is this your hour of need, exactly?” Killian asked, choosing not to contradict them. He had, in fact, been talking to her, so he didn’t really have a leg to stand on.

“Because Robin has a better costume than me!”

It was Killian’s turn to roll his eyes. “His name is literally Robin. Who else could reasonably dress up as Robin Hood?”

“But that’s just it! She’ll never suspect it!” David insisted. The men all paused, exchanging looks. David held up the costume that had been laid out for him on the bed. “Belle dressed me as Prince Charming. I love her to death, but she’s just as much of a romantic as Mary Margaret. It’s too obvious, she’ll find me in a second.”

“He has a point, you know,” Robin agreed.

“Hey, Belle put a lot of work into picking your costumes,” Will reminded them. He cleared his throat when Robin shot him a wry look. “And the others. They all put in a lot of work…”

Killian grinned. “And wouldn’t it just be great to see their reactions when they realise we’ve switched it on them?” Even David smiled, excited at the harmless though somewhat juvenile prank. Will looked nervous though.

“Listen, I just don’t want to be the reason we ensue Elsa’s wrath,” he defended. Liam glanced at Will, and Killian noticed a slightly downtrodden look on his brother’s face. He frowned.

“It’s my Stag and Doe,” the groom insisted. “I say we do it.”

“Aye,” Killian agreed. He slapped a hand on David’s shoulder. “Let’s see if true love really does conquer all, shall we?”

Robin considered this for a moment, arms crossed as he stroked his beard. “All right, but if we do this, we should really commit. Everybody confess what your costume is so we can pick the most un-David-like one.”

Will still didn’t look convinced. “What’s with him?” David asked.

Robin smirked. “He’s just worried that Belle will be mad at him. Or is it that you picked your costume with her in mind and don’t want to give it up?”

“Really, Will? You’re still hung up on her?” David joked. “Why don’t you just tell her already?” Liam perked up then, looking back at Will after having been staring at the floor for a moment.

“Oh, I was under the impression that Elsa was your girlfriend,” he said casually. Four pairs of suspicious eyes turned to him. “You just seemed so set on not upsetting her is all…” Killian didn’t buy it.

Will looked at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Bloody hell, Elsa? No. She just scares the hell out of me and she should scare you too,” he warned. “That is not a woman you want to cross.”

“Indeed,” Robin agreed, coming up behind his friend and wrapping an arm around him. “Will only has eyes for Belle.” Will elbowed him. “Elsa is, as of present, unattached.”

“Huh,” was all Liam said, suddenly far too uninterested in the conversation. It took Killian a moment, frowning at his brother, trying to read what he was hiding before it hit him.

“ Oh, no, ” he groaned and everyone’s eyes snapped up to him.

“What?” Liam demanded, playing innocent.

“No, no.”

“ What?”

“My own brother!” Killian cried. “Abandoned. Betrayed by my own kin!”

Liam rolled his eyes but his tone was way too defensive. “Shut up, Killian.”

Robin snorted but hid it quickly behind his hand as Killian shot him a death glare.

“Am I missing something?” David asked, looking between the brothers.

“What you’re missing, Dave, is that my brother, sworn bachelor, the last of the sworn bachelors, the last of the Jones’ to carry on the good name and reputation of man about town and sea, has fallen in love.” He cast his eyes to Liam again. “Traitor!”

“Oh, come on, Killian. Stop being dramatic. I’m not in love.”

“Not yet!” he cried. “But I’ve seen that look before - it’s in the eyes. I’ve seen it in my fallen comrades. First David, then Will. Robin was lost to me before I even met him, married at nineteen like some lovesick fool.”

“Careful now, that’s my wife you’re talking about,” Robin warned. Marian and Roland were joining the group the day of the wedding, thinking that subjecting a six year old to three days of wedding festivities seemed unreasonable.

“And now my own brother! Seduced! Stolen away by the Ice Queen. We stood together! Now I stand alone.”

“That’s a bit much don’t you think?” Graham said.

“You like Elsa?” David asked Liam and Killian rounded on him.

“ That’s what you got from what I just said?”

“I mostly tune you out if I’m honest,” David said casually before focusing on Liam again. “If you like Elsa you have the perfect costume. The Princess Bride is her favorite movie. She and Emma are obsessed with it - it’s a little annoying actually. If you wear that, you’ll definitely get her attention.”

“Oh, well…” was all Liam said, clearly flustered to Killian’s disgust. He did not like how pleased his brother looked at the idea.

“Killian,” David said then. “Let’s see your costume. Mary Margaret won’t come near me if she thinks I’m you. She’s seen your pirate costume a million times now.”

“I think the hair might give it away, Dave,” Killian laughed, gesturing to his own dark hair that contrasted so drastically with the groom’s fair head. “Besides,” he smirked. “You don’t have the cleavage for it.”

David rolled his eyes. “Oh, far be it from me to deny you the opportunity to wear a shirt unbuttoned to your waist.”

“What exactly is your obsession with this Captain Hook costume, Brother?” Liam piped up. “I’ve never seen it but it would seem it’s rather famous. Why the fixation on Peter Pan?”

“It’s because he’s the boy who never grew up,” Will offered, receiving a punch in the arm from the person in question. “At least that’s what Ruby dubbed him for all his womanizing.”

Killian rolled his eyes, familiar with the nickname. He never bothered to mention that he liked the character of Hook, not Pan. Not the devil child but the melancholic man who clung to the last bit of hope left in him.

“I’m hardly a boy,” Killian glared. “And I don’t womanize. Every woman I take out knows exactly my intentions. I’m not some child playing games.”

“Then you won’t mind giving up your costume,” Robin insisted.

“I told you it would be too obvious,” he reminded them again.

“So am I understanding correctly?” Will asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’re just all throwing the girl’s rules out the window?” Will asked with a bit of annoyance in his tone. If Killian himself weren’t so annoyed at Will’s crush on Belle, he’d have found it funny.

“Yes,” David said simply. “Liam, you keep yours so that you have an ice breaker with Elsa and Killian, well, I guess you can keep yours for your vanity.” Killian rolled his eyes. “The rest of you,” he demanded. “Let me see what you have.”

David, Will and Robin spent far too long debating who should wear which of the three costumes, even going so far as to look through the clothes they had brought to see if they could make a new, fourth costume, before finally making a decision nearly an hour later. As they headed to their respective rooms to change, Killian noticed his brother lingering. He sighed again.

“So, Elsa then?”

“I mean, she seems nice,” Liam answered but Killian could see him trying to fight the little smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Nice? Elsa? I mean sure she can be friendly sometimes, but I’ve always found her to be a bit cold, distant.”

“Perhaps she just doesn’t like you, brother.”

“Nonsense,” he smiled. “All women like me.” But then looked at Liam again. “You really like her?”

“I don’t - she seems interesting. I’d like to get to know her better, yes.”

“Unbelievable. You’re in the country for ten minutes and you’ve fallen for the first blonde you’ve seen.” He shook his head, utterly, totally disappointed by his brother.

“I wouldn’t be the first Jones now would I?” Liam muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Unbelievable,” Killian sighed.

“You keep saying that,” Liam pointed out.

“Well it is! A few years ago we were all free, unattached. We could head to the bar, meet some nice girls, have some fun. But now, I swear David has to ask permission before he goes out with us. And Will won’t go anywhere unless we agree to invite Belle along so he can stare at her like a git and not say a word. When did all of the bachelors die off? When did all my friends drop off the face of the earth. I’ll tell you when. When they decided to fall in love!”

“Don’t you think you’re getting a little old for this, Killian?”

“How dare you?” Killian snapped. “I’m thirty-two. I’m hardly at the age of needing to settle down.”

“Then pray tell what age is appropriate to settle down?”

“I’ll let you know if I ever hit it,” Killian smirked. Liam rolled his eyes.

“So what, you’re going to keep man whoring around? Don��t you want to be with someone? Have something real? Fall in love?”

“Love is overrated. I plan to die a bachelor.”

“You mean alone,” Liam corrected him. “I don’t believe you for a second, brother,” he said, but he shook his head in a way that told Killian he didn’t plan on arguing any further. Let Liam disbelieve him. He didn’t need his brother’s approval. He’d tried love once and it had brought him nothing but wasted years and endless torment.

Killian had learned young that love only ended in pain and heartbreak. He’d seen it with his mother, who’d been unhappy her entire married life only to pass away young and leave behind a father who was so heartbroken of the loss of the woman he mistreated that he abandoned his two sons.

He’d sworn off love at six years old. He’d only faltered once since, despite his best efforts to resist it. And that time had only served to reinforce his belief that he was right. Love was a waste of time. He didn’t need it. And he didn’t want it. Let the Davids and the Robins and the Wills - and apparently the Liams - of the world have love. He would stick to one night. One night was clear. One night left no expectations, set no precedent. One night was safe.

“So then,” Liam started, snapping Killian from his admittedly rather gloomy train of thought. “What about Emma?” he trailed off.

Killian’s head snapped up as though he’d been struck. “What about Emma?” he asked wearily.

“She seems nice, is all. Funny, smart, rather beautiful too…”

Killian felt his heart jump into his throat. Emma? Liam and Emma? Was his brother really suggesting that he was interested in Emma romantically? Or even just physically? The idea of his brother and Emma together stirred a feeling inside of him that he didn’t like. The same feeling that had come over him when Emma had taunted him with the idea of her and Liam earlier. What was it - anger? Disgust? Jealousy ? No. He wasn’t jealous. Emma could sleep with whoever she wanted. So could his brother for that matter. So could he. He swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“I’ll admit that she’s rather pleasant to look at but believe me, the woman is a harpie. She’s got a wicked tongue on her. She’s cold and defensive and she has walls a mile high.”

“She seemed rather pleasant to me. Witty too.”

“Oh, aye, she’s got wit, that’s for sure.” He caught the corner of his mouth ticking up and forced it down. “She’s quick and rather amusing when she’s not yelling at me.”

“You don’t seem to mind her yelling at you.”

He laughed. “She’s quick to anger, that’s all,” Killian shrugged, trying to go for blase but knowing he was failing. “Makes her rather fun to argue with. She has a way of seeing people… she’s quite perspective really.” She was. She could and would call him on any and all of his bullshit. He was always surprised to realise how much he enjoyed that. But she had him pegged wrong. Always had. And he couldn’t forgive her that.

“So you don’t like her then?” Liam continued, frowning. “I suppose I can understand that. I heard you talking in the hall. She does seem like she can be rather…”

“Rather what?” Killian said quickly, shocked by how vehemently his body reacted to the idea of someone speaking poorly of his rival - someone besides him anyway.

Liam’s eyes went wide and then settled into a knowing expression Killian didn’t like. “Nothing,” he said, but the word held weight.

“She’s just… she’s had a hard life,” Killian found himself saying. Shut up, why are you defending her? he demanded of himself, but he couldn’t stop the words that came out. “She’s been through a lot - like we have. And she’s done some rather impressive things with her life despite it. She’s a detective you know?”

“Yes, I know. You’ve told me. You’ve told me a lot about her actually…”

“Right,” Killian caught himself. Clearing his throat. He didn’t like what his brother was implying. Killian didn’t want Emma. Of course he didn’t. They fought and they bantered and they teased but that was all their relationship was. It was all it ever had been - well, almost. There was that first night... But regardless, he didn’t want his brother to get tangled up with her either. For his brother’s sake only. Emma pushed everyone away. He wouldn’t want to risk his brother being hurt like... “Well, yes, she is cold and distant and incredibly frustrating and - I don’t know if you want to go there. Not worth the effort I think and -”

“ Killian.”  

“What?” he snapped.

“I’m not interested in Emma,” he explained carefully and Killian was angry at the relief he felt. “But I think maybe…” Killian steeled his jaw, fists clenching and shoulders straightening as his brother eyed him with… pity? sympathy? Whatever it was, he didn’t like it. Something in his expression must have warned Liam off. “Nevermind,” he finished.

Killian let out a heavy breath, thankful that this conversation was over. “Shall we go get ready?” he asked. “I think people will be arriving soon. I’ve seen Mulan’s car pull up. And if she’s here, the party is bound to get underway quickly.”

“Aye,” Liam said, swinging his arm around Killian’s shoulders. “Let’s.”

-/-

“Emma!” she heard Elsa call for her from the room next door. She banged on the adjoining wall to let her friend know it was fine to come in. A second later Elsa was making her way into the room, awkwardly looking behind herself as she struggled with her costume.

“Could you give me a hand with these laces?” she asked, referring to the corset like back of her Swan Lake ballerina costume. It was pretty, graceful, and understated like her friend.

“Sure,” Emma said, gesturing for her to turn around so that she could help her with the intricate lacing. When she was done, Elsa brushed her hands down the front of her dress, making sure it looked right.

“Thanks.” She looked Emma up and down and frowned. “You’re not ready yet? The party’s already started. I’m running late because of these damn laces. What’s your excuse?” she asked, taking in Emma’s jeans and leather jacket.

“Oh, I’m ready,” she said, grabbing a hat and a pair of sunglasses and putting them on.

Elsa frowned. “What the hell are you supposed to be?”

Emma clipped her badge onto her hip. “An undercover cop.”

Elsa stared at her for a long moment before crossing her arms in front of her chest and frowning. “Are you fucking kidding me, Emma?”

“What?” she asked defensively. It was either this or a sheet with holes cut in it,” she said. “You know, to be a ghost,” she clarified when Elsa didn’t react.

Elsa let her head fall into her hand, rubbing at her forehead in frustration. “Jesus Christ, Emma. It’s a costume party. You are a cop. You can’t just go as yourself. This is a pathetic excuse for a costume and you know it.”

“You were actually a ballerina!” Emma insisted, gesturing at the dress she knew her friend had worn in a real performance in college. Elsa glared at her. She was annoyed at her friend, but probably more at the fact that she knew she was right. She’d really hoped they’d have let her get away with it. She was never one for dressing up.

“That’s different,” Elsa explained slowly, like she was talking to an idiot. “I wouldn’t go around wearing this on the street. You haven’t even changed out of what you were wearing when we got here.”

“So you think I should go with the ghost?” she asked, smirking a little. Elsa shook her head in exasperation.

“Emma, this party is for Mary Margaret. You know what she wants it to be. She wants magic and beautiful dresses and men dressed as princes and heroes. This is her fairytale wedding and you cannot wear jeans to a masquerade ball.”

Emma sighed. “Okay, but it’s a little late now. I don’t have another costume and nothing I brought is fancy enough to qualify as a gown.”

Elsa thought for a second, looking her over as she tapped her fingers against her crossed arms. “Hang on a second,” she said finally. “I might have something.” And with that, she disappeared out of the room, trailing crinoline and feathers behind her.

Emma pulled the hat and sunglasses off, groaning as she pulled her hair out of it’s messy ponytail. She should have seen this coming. She should have known her friends wouldn’t stand for her cop out of a costume - they fought her every Halloween and this was her best friend’s wedding. She just… she didn’t have it in her. The whole fairy tales and True Love and princes and princesses - it just all felt so… fake, unrealistic. She didn’t want to get dolled up and attract the attention of some guy who would make her promises and then break them as soon as the lights came on and the masks came off. She remembered the last time she’d let some guy she met at a party convince her she meant something - she’d learned that lesson quickly. Never fall for a pretty face - especially one with an accent and a penchant for seducing blondes.

“Here,” Elsa announced, returning to the room and shaking Emma out of her thoughts. She was holding a dress on a hanger, the skirt of it draped over her arm. It was beautiful. Ice blue and floor length with intricate beading. The neckline was modest but she could see the plunging back. It was Elsa embodied: elegant, sophisticated, and just a little ethereal.

“This is gorgeous,” Emma said, reaching out to tough some of the delicate stitching. “Where did you get it?”

“I wore it to Mary Margaret’s black-tie New Years Eve party last year, remember?” Emma shook her head. “Oh right, you weren’t there - you had that case. Anyway, I forgot it here in the morning and haven’t been back to pick it up since. I feel like it would do nicely for tonight.”

“You’re going to dress me up as a princess aren’t you,” Emma squeezed her eyes shut. Elsa beamed.

“You bet your ass I am!” she laughed. “If your brother’s going as Prince Charming, it’s only fair you get a royal makeover too. Come on. If I know Mary Margaret’s mom, I’m sure we can dig up a tiara or something in one of these rooms. Shall we?” Emma bit her lip. She knew she wasn’t going to win this one. “Hey, you’re doing this for Mary Margaret,” Elsa reminded her and then gestured pointedly to her own costume. “We all are.”

Emma sighed. “Okay. But you better have a damn good mask. If David sees me in this, he’ll never let me live it down.” Nor would Killian, she thought, cringing at the teasing that would surely ensue from him seeing her in something other than jeans. Elsa laughed and dragged Emma along in search of a crown.

-/-

“Liam!” Killian called, poking his head into his brother’s room and looking around for his absentee sibling. “Are you nearly done putting your face on? The party’s in full swing and you’re missing it!”

“There’s a slight problem,” Liam’s voice carried across the room from the bathroom as he walked out and Killian had to put his fist to his mouth to stop from laughing at the sight of his brother. It didn’t work. “Shut up,” Liam warned as Killian burst out in a fit of laughter. Liam stood in front of him, looking not at all impressed in the tightest shirt and pants Killian had ever seen. The sleeves ended several inches above his wrists and the pants several inches above his ankles. Liam threw the mask he was holding at his brother.

“I’m sorry,” Killian apologized, trying to contain himself. “I don’t think it fits,” he pointed out the obvious.

“Clearly it doesn’t fit, little brother ,” Liam said with a glare. Killian returned it.

“Younger brother,” he corrected.

“No, I believe in this case little brother is correct,” he smirked, gesturing to himself again. He turned around to head back to the bathroom and Killian, who had been glaring, burst out laughing again.

“Oh, I do hope Elsa’s an ass woman,” he said. “You’ll certainly win her over with pants that tight.”

“Alright, enough. Give me your costume.”

“My costume,” Killian demanded, stepping back and placing a protective hand out in front of him. “Why?”

“Because this is your fault. You’re the one who gave me your old costume without accounting for the fact that I am the much taller and broader shouldered of the Jones brothers.”

“Or the one who needs to cut back on sweets,” Killian shot back. “Besides,” he challenged, “how will this costume fit you if you’re so big and strong you can’t fit into that one?”

“Give me the jacket and the jewellery,” Liam said. “I’ll find a pair of black pants and a buttoned shirt and it will have to do.” He eyed his brother who was still clinging protectively to his costume. “And the hook,” he demanded.

“What will I wear then, if you’re going to take the very shirt off my back?”

“This,” Liam answered, gesturing to himself. “Should work. You’ve barely filled out since college,” he smirked.

“I’ve never had any complaints.” Liam gave him a leveling look and Killian rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he ceded, shedding the beloved jacket from his shoulders and tossing it to his brother. Liam caught it in one hand and headed to the bathroom to change, pausing at his suitcase to grab a pair of pants and a shirt.

“You know you’re blowing your chances at winning over Elsa though, don’t you? No dashing childhood crush to seduce her with.”

Liam cracked the bathroom door open and poked his head out, tossing the costume at him. “I’m not trying to seduce anyone,” he frowned. “Besides,” he smirked. “Even if I was, I wouldn’t need a bloody costume to do so. Not all of us need glamour and trickery to convince a woman to speak to us.”

“Oi!” Killian shouted, offended. “I don’t need any tricks to get a woman to speak to me!”

“Is that why you pick a fight with Emma everytime you see her?” Liam’s voice was muffled through the door.

“I have no idea what you’re insinuating,” Killian snapped. He was getting very tired of his brother speaking cryptically about he and Emma’s relationship. As though they were anything but friendly rivals. So what if he looked forward to seeing her at these get-togethers? So what if he was disappointed when she was kept away by work. He simply looked forward to having someone to spar with, someone who kept up with him and could challenge him. He loved a challenge, and if Emma Swan was anything, she was a challenge.

“Of course not,” Liam patronized as he emerged in Killian’s jacket. He held out his hand and Killian passed him the pirate necklaces and the clip on earring that completed the look. “Better get dressed, party’s started,” Liam told him then looked him over carefully. “Isn’t ‘The Princess Bride’ Emma’s favorite movie as well?”

Killian looked down at the costume he held in his hands, ignoring the fact that it was, in fact, her favorite and that she might, just maybe, forget their rivalry for a second if they had some common ground. It would be interesting to speak to her without their prickly game standing between them for a moment. The last time they’d done that had been… well, a very long time ago indeed. “What of it?” he asked his brother and hoped Liam wouldn’t push the subject.

“Nothing,” Liam said and when Killian met his eye he saw the same look he’d seen earlier. It unsettled him. But then his brother smirked and the moment was broken. “Just too bad you don’t still have the ponytail.”

Killian scowled, whipping the hook off his arm and shoving it a little too forcefully against his brother’s chest, turning to storm out of the room to the sound of Liam’s laughter following along behind him. “It was one semester!” he shouted but Liam only laughed harder.

-/-

Emma poured herself another drink from the bar, readjusting her mask which unfortunately, though beautiful, had the annoying habit of sliding down her nose. One corner was still damp from when it had dipped into her drink. She didn’t know how people did this back in the day. Wearing masks was fun, the mystery of it all and the anonymity was almost thrilling, but it was highly inconvenient. She set the drink down to tighten the silk string that kept it on for the tenth time that night.

The party was in full swing. The house was packed, every room full of people squished together dancing, laughing, drinking, and shouting at each other to be heard over the music. Emma looked around proudly. She had to say, she’d done a pretty good job for someone who hated fairy tales. She loved parties, though, so she chalked it up to that. Well, that and Elsa and Belle’s beautiful masks and Ruby’s awesome taste in music… and David had helped with the decorations. It had definitely been a group effort.

Emma scanned the crowds, trying to spot any of her friends and realized that she couldn’t. She almost laughed. The masquerade thing really did work. She knew what Elsa and Liam - and likely Killian - were dressed as, but she hadn’t seen anyone else from the bridal party’s costumes and there were so many friends and family here to celebrate that she wasn’t even sure she knew all the guests, let alone that she’d be able to identify them with half their faces covered.

She made her way across the kitchen which was being used as a bar and into what could only be described as a great hall where people were dancing, hoping to spot Elsa among the throngs of people. She perked up when she caught sight of white feathers and excellent posture. Squeezing between Cinderella and Gaston who looked about two seconds away from making out - weird - she crossed the room toward her friend, only to stop dead when she caught sight of a silver hook and a generous display of chest hair.

Ugh. Killian. Elsa was talking to Killian. His face was half covered in a silky black mask but she’d seen that stupid pirate costume enough times to know it had to be him. She rolled her eyes as he leaned down to say something in Elsa’s ear and her friend threw her head back laughing, her hand coming up to rest on his bare chest as she leaned in closer.

Gross . Emma thought Elsa had better taste than that. She wondered what Killian could possibly be saying to make her friend blush and giggle like some infatuated school girl. She swallowed against the lump in her throat and the uneasiness in her stomach when Elsa ran her hand up from his chest to his shoulder under the guise of trying to hear better over the music. His hand went to the small of her back and the smile on Killian’s face felt like a punch to the gut. She’d seen that smile, relaxed, excited, soft. She’d only ever seen it so rarely before and only ever…

She turned away, done with watching the disturbing display in front of her. If Killian and Elsa wanted to flirt and whisper little secrets to each other and exchange meaningful little touches, she wasn’t going to stick around to see it. Really, she thought Elsa had better taste. She thought Elsa was a better friend than to… what? What exactly was Elsa guilty of? Cozying up to her hot friend? Getting close to Emma’s… rival didn’t feel like the right word.

She just wasn’t prepared for it, that was all. There had always been some sort of unspoken thing between the women of the group - Killian was no man’s land - or, rather, no woman's land. Despite his constant flirtatiousness and innuendos, nobody ever took it seriously, nobody ever really considered dating him or going to bed with him, at least not since that night. But there was never really a reason, no agreement made. Elsa could do what she liked. Emma didn’t care. Why would she care? Killian, while awful, was undeniably attractive and if Elsa wanted to - well, Emma didn’t care.

“I see my brother’s not wasting any time,” she heard behind her, the voice somewhat dulled by the thrumming of the music. Emma turned, smiling when she was met with bright blue eyes, just noticeable through a black leather mask, and a cheeky smirk. She looked over the costume he wore so well, a little flustered despite herself at seeing someone dressed as her childhood (and adulthood) crush.

“Liam,” she greeted, holding up her glass in a toast. “How are you enjoying the party?” The smile slipped from his face for a moment before he bit his lip against another.

“Well, I must say it’s just gotten infinitely better,” he answered.

“Ah, so I see Killian isn’t the only smooth talker in the Jones family,” she teased.

“Alas, it’s a family trait. Inherited from our father unfortunately,” he answered, his smile faltering for only a second. “What do you suppose he’s saying?” he asked, gesturing at his brother and Elsa.

Emma scoffed. “If I know him, he’s probably showering her with insincere compliments and using that inherited silver tongue to convince a perfectly intelligent woman that she wants to do something incredibly stupid.”

“And what’s that?”

“Sleep with Killian Jones.”

“I feel as though I should defend him.”

“No need,” Emma assured him. “Everyone knows who Killian is.”

He frowned. “And who is he?”

“Take your pick: playboy, womanizer, egomaniac. I swear David and the guys must just keep him around for entertainment. There is not a sincere bone in that man’s body. Well,” she laughed, turning from the scene in front of them back to the better-Jones. “Maybe one.”

“I see.” His jaw was tight and Emma worried she’d gone too far. She’d forgotten for a moment that this was his brother. She thought about how she’d feel if someone talked about David like this. But then again, David would never deserve it.

“I’m sorry,” she said, regardless. “I shouldn’t insult your family.”

He shrugged. “I’m sure you have your reasons. I summarize then that you’re not a fan of him.” There was a long pause before he spoke again. “Surely he can be a bit of a scoundrel at times but I wonder… What exactly is the nature of your feud with my brother? Killian never told me anything apart from the fact that you seem to despise one another.”

Emma hesitated. She’d never told anyone this story before. Sure, her friends had asked in the past, wondering why she hated him so much, especially given their first meeting. But she’d always skirted the question, not wanting to explain herself, not wanting to admit how stupid she’d been, how blind and how reckless. It was humiliating really. But Liam was sweet, and seemed genuinely interested. And she’d just spent the last few minutes insulting his only brother (as far as she knew) and she felt she at least owed him an explanation for it.

“Did Killian ever tell you about the night we met?”

He cleared his throat. “I don’t believe so,” he said, bringing a finger up to scratch a spot behind his ear in a way that was so reminiscent of his brother it threw her for a moment. Between their eyes and their mannerisms and their smiles, for all their differences, the Jones brothers certainly had a lot in common. There was no mistaking their kinship.

“We met at Will’s birthday party about five years ago. He and Killian had a class together so Will brought him along with our usual group. You might not believe it, I don’t think anyone would really, but I didn’t hate your brother the first time I met him.”

“Oh no?” he asked, waiting for her to continue.

“No, we - we actually hit it off really well. He was funny and easy to talk to and actually kind of…” Emma trailed off, finger running over the rim of her glass as she remembered his easy smiles and the way his shoulders shook when he laughed. She remembered the way he spoke, loudly and animatedly with the group but also softly and what she’d thought was sincerely when it was just the two of them. “Sweet,” she finished lamely. “He was sweet.”

She cleared her throat. “I liked him. I was stupid and young and he was charming and well, you know how he is, he’s your brother.” She couldn’t look at him now when she told him the story. It was too embarrassing. She felt as vulnerable now as she had that night and while she’d let herself then, it had been a hard lesson on why she should avoid letting herself feel that way again.

“I do,” he said.

“Anyway, we ended up spending most of the night together in a back booth in the bar. Everyone was dancing and drinking and we just sat there talking.” They’d talked for hours. They’d talked about nothing, silly things, movies, books, what they’d wanted to be when they grew up. But also about real things, things Emma had never talked about with anyone apart from David, not even her closest friends; about her childhood before Ruth, about Neal, about what she wanted out of life but was afraid of going for, afraid of failing. She hadn’t even meant to tell him most of it, but he’d listened in that rare way so few people do, the way they do when they actually care about what you have to say and aren’t just waiting for their chance to talk. She felt stupid now for all the things she’d told him.

“We didn’t even realise the others had left until the lights came on and we were being kicked out because the bar was closing,” she continued. “He, um,” she cleared her throat. “He asked me back to his place but I said no.” She rubbed at her neck, feeling awkward now sharing this with Killian’s brother as she recalled the details of the night and the next morning. She’d said ‘no’ because she liked him, ‘no’ because she didn’t want to go and ruin something good by turning it into a one night stand.

Suddenly, his hand was on her arm, fingers brushing over the bare skin there and her breath caught at how warm he felt against her. It was comforting, familiar though, and almost unsettling in that familiarity. She remembered another set of fingers running up her arm outside her apartment building years ago.

“You don’t have to tell me -” he started.

“No it’s okay,” she cut him off. “He was surprisingly okay with it,” she said. Well, not so surprising considering what he got up to later. Liam didn’t need to know about the kiss - or the other one for that matter. She bit her lip, remembering. “It was late so he offered to walk me back to my apartment. I lived in kind of a shady area back then,” she explained. “He did and we went our separate ways,” after a while , she thought, “and we made plans to meet up the next morning.”

“So, what happened?” he asked, his fingers still idly tracing patterns on her arm up to her shoulder.

“What happened,” Emma started, clearing her throat again as the anger set in. Anger was good. Anger helped with the humiliation, with the hurt. “What happened is I went to his place the next morning and some girl in a towel answered the door.” She saw his eyes widen. She couldn’t see his eyebrows but she knew they were likely shooting up to his hairline.

“What?” he asked, mouth gaping open.

“Yeah. Some blonde, obviously a blonde. He’s got a type, you know. She told me Killian was in the shower and it wasn’t hard to figure out that after I turned him down, he went out and found someone else to get his rocks off with. So yeah, that’s when I realised exactly what kind of guy he is.” He’d probably only walked her home as a favor to Will.

“I’m sorry, love, that must have been awful,” he said. Emma shrugged.

“It is what it is. Honestly I’m just annoyed at myself for not seeing it sooner. I’ve met enough guys who are only after one thing and I don’t know why I convinced myself he wasn’t.” She gave him a small, insincere smile.“Must have been the rum,” she shrugged. There hadn’t been any rum though. Neither of them had had a thing to drink since they’d sat down in that back booth, hadn’t felt the need for it. It had been so easy.

“Perhaps,” he started, and Emma turned to look at him. She’d been fixated on her glass for the last few minutes. She couldn’t really make out his expression in the dim lights, his voice soft enough to be nearly drowned out by the music. “Perhaps you should ask my brother about that night,” he suggested. Emma’s eyes snapped to his in surprise and what almost felt like betrayal.

“Why would I do that?” she demanded, feeling defensive. She pulled back a step, wanting to put a little distance between them after this unexpected turn - what was it with her and baring her soul to the Jones brothers? Was she that much of a sucker for blue eyes and an accent? - but he followed her, moving with her and leaning in close to speak so he wouldn’t have to shout over the music.

“Because, Swan, there are two sides to every story and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that it’s always better to give someone the benefit of the doubt.”

Emma blinked at him, slightly distracted by him being so close to her. The room was crowded and she felt the stickiness clinging to the back of her neck from the heat of so many people packed into one place. A lot of that heat seemed to be coming from him. His hand was still on her arm, having drifted down to her wrist, his thumb tracing over the back of her hand as he spoke, his mouth next to her ear and his breath warm against it. The smell of him was heady around her, like leather and sea air and - wait, had he just called her Swan?

She looked up then, narrowing her eyes as she tried to make out his face under his mask. Something about him… something was familiar, more familiar than brotherly resemblance. His jaw ticked, the muscle clenching in a way that was so… she'd seen it before, it - Oh. Oh, no way . She looked him up and down, taking in the lean frame, the dark, flippy hair that stuck out of his mask rather than the curls she expected, the sharpness of his jawline where Liam’s was softer, the shape of his mouth… Killian. Oh, he was a dead man.

“Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do,” he said.

She turned her head up to meet his eyes, set her chin like she always did when she was ready for a fight. “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” she started, ready to call him out on his little ruse and rip him a new one for tricking her.

“You’re right,” he said and some of her fight was lost to her surprise at the way his voice softened. Who the hell was this Killian in front of her now? Where was the fight, the ego? His hand was still stroking hers, his eyes were sincere and unpretentious and even a little self-deprecating. “So, just who are you, Swan?”

She pulled back, drawing her hand from his and crossing her arms over her chest, trying to wither him with her stare. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” Wouldn’t he indeed. She was sure he’d love to find out all about her so that he could use it as fuel for their arguments, like some game. The nerve of -

He ducked his head, catching her eyes and stepping even closer to her. Her breath caught at the openness and the sincerity she saw there. “Perhaps I would,” he said and Emma felt her heart pounding against her ribcage. He hadn’t looked at her like that since that night. Since the night she felt for the first time in years that she’d found someone who understood her, someone she connected with, another lost soul, someone she could actually care about, maybe even - She wanted to believe him. She wanted it to be real. It sounded real. It felt real. And he was so close and the way he looked at her..

Emma didn’t remember moving, didn’t remember putting her drink down, but suddenly her hands were gripping the sides of his face and pulling his lips to hers as she rose up on her toes to meet him. He froze against her for a moment, in shock probably she realised, and she grasped the reality of exactly what she’d just done and how stupid it was. But before she could step back, his arm snaked around her waist and pulled her tightly against him, his body flush with hers as his other hand traveled up to tangle in the hair at the nape of her neck.

She should stop this. This was Killian for god’s sake. Killian, who she hated. Killian, who she swore she’d never let get under her skin again. Killian, who was currently backing them against the wall behind her. She gasped as her back collided with the hard surface and he used the opportunity to slant his mouth over hers, letting his tongue slide into her mouth, making her let out a sound she should have been embarrassed about as heat rushed into her belly. He growled as his hand found her hip, tugging roughly and pressing them even closer together.

She knew she should stop it. This was Killian. Killian, who knew how to push every single one of her buttons, who’d pushed her and challenged her from that first night. Killian, who she looked forward to seeing at every get together if only so they could spend ten minutes insulting each other and she could see his mouth twist into that playful smirk. Killian of the Swans and loves . Of the soft smiles that crinkled his eyes. What if she’d been wrong? What if she’d misjudged him? All these years.

Emma slowed, her hands which had at some point ended up in his hair released their grip and she let one settle around his shoulders, the other sliding down over his chest to rest in the v of his shirt. She could feel his heart racing under her palm, matching her own’s frantic beating. Killian froze again, and then something changed. His hand released it’s nearly painful grip on her hip and slid up her back to rest between her shoulder blades. The hand that was fisted in her hair came around to cup her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek as his lips slowed over hers, his movements no longer desperate and needy but gentle and exploratory.

She let him kiss her, let him open her mouth wider under his own, let him pull at her lips and slide his tongue against hers with a give and take that felt so familiar it sent her heart racing again as a warmth built in her chest and in her stomach and bloomed out through her limbs. She felt his shoulders relax under her own as he melted against her, pressing her against the wall like he wanted to feel every inch of her skin against his through their clothes, feel her heart beating against his and drown her in the warmth that was radiating off of him. She was burning up from the inside out.

He pulled back after a long moment, pressing his forehead to hers, eyes still closed and lips still close enough to touch if she just tilted her head every so slightly. The hand that had been at her cheek slid along her jaw, thumb brushing over her bottom lip as his breath puffed hot against her face. His fingers trailed slowly and featherlight along her spine.

“Emma,” he breathed as her hand came to his cheek, tracing the stubble under her fingers. She was only just pulling him back in when the music stopped.

The lights coming on were like a bucket of ice water being thrown over her. Somewhere, someone was announcing that it was midnight, that it was time for everyone to remove their masks and reveal who they really were.

She saw it in his eyes, the regret as he reached for his mask and it hit her like a blow to the chest. She caught his hand, stopping him from ruining the only excuse she had. If he didn’t, then she could claim she didn’t know it was him. She could convince herself it was all just a mistake. “Swan,” he spoke again, searching her eyes for something she couldn’t give him. This wasn’t who they were.

“Tell anyone about this and I’ll kill you,” she warned. She watched as his lips pressed together and his head fell before he nodded.

“Fair enough,” he said, dropping his hands and stepping back just enough that she could squeeze by.

She did. And then she ran.

***

***

tagging @kmomof4​ and @xsajx​ because you asked :)

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in part two!

#captain swan #captain swan fanfiction #captain swan fanfic #cs fanfic #cs fanfiction #cs au #captain swan au #much ado about nothing #captain swan movie marathon #csmm #shakespeare au

[welllpthisishappening]

We’re watching the Blues white vs blue scrimmage and I’m so excited hockey is almost back! I think this calls for a Blue Line re-read because it’s so, SO good and I’ve read through everything on ao3 at least 5 times. 💙

This makes me the absolute happiest! Thank you for reading! And then reading again! I am unreasonably excited about the start of the season and the length of Chris Kreider’s hair and I was going to post a quick Blue Line one-shot here, but it was basically just original characters in that it was literally just Matt Jones being an idiot while meeting his future wife, so I wrote something else this morning and winning the Stanley Cup would mean they’d have to change their before-the-season starts ritual. Anyway, here’s like nearly 4K of everyone ragging on each other just before the season after Blue Line, while Emma and Killian try to figure out where they can make out without anyone noticing: 

————

“Still looking?” “Yup.” “What she look like?” “Like the actual description of her face?” 

Something dug into the bottom of Emma’s shoulder blade, and it took her far too long to realize that it was the jut of Killian’s chin because even the idea of Killian crouching behind her so as to avoid the overall force of Regina’s glare was something that hadn’t even crossed her mind. Until it was happening, apparently. “She’s staring,” Emma muttered, “got that little pinch between her eyebrows that always shows up when she’s—” Killian groaned. Directly where his mouth was resting, which was also on Emma’s back and likely just above the ‘o’ in his last name, if her knowledge of the jersey she was wearing was any indication. Maybe in between the ‘j’ and the ‘o,’ actually. 

“You’re ridiculous.” “Me?” Killian countered, and Emma wished she hadn’t already finished that first glass of wine. Blurry thoughts bounced across her sleep-deprived brain because there was only one more sleep ‘til Christmas, or whatever Kermit sang in The Muppet Christmas Carol. Presumably Christmas. And not hockey. Or the start of the hockey season. 

Splotches of ink still dotted the sides of Emma’s right hand, the product of dragging that same hand over forms she had to sign and other plans she had to approve, and the blue carpet wasn’t coming until next week because the home opener was actually three games into the season, which was not as comforting or stress-reducing as she thought it should have been and she simply did not have time to mitigate an argument between her boyfriend and his agent. 

Even when that boyfriend was very good looking. 

In his Christmas sweater. 

The traditions of hockey players continued to boggle the mind. Emma’s, specifically. 

If she drank any more wine, she was going to fall asleep standing up. “Yes,” Emma said, “you, but only because you’re the one currently trying to burrow your way into me. With your chin.” Humming in confusion, he lifted his head, and that wasn’t really a mistake, per se — but it did leave his soft exhale brushing against the side of Emma’s neck, and that sort of guaranteed that goosebumps appeared on her neck and she should have been more annoyed. By Killian’s immediate laugh. Of the vaguely victorious variety. 

“What do you think about the sweater?” “That you’re fishing for compliments.” “I think I make Locksley’s stitched-on face look very good. Doesn’t get stretched out at all—” Killian ignored Emma’s groan, pressing a kiss to the exact spot her shoulder met her still goosebump-covered neck, and it was the wine’s fault. For the state of her increasingly wobbly knees. “—Which is more than I can say about his current face.” “Oh, that’s rude,” Emma argued. “And I’m not entirely sure it even made sense.” “Are you Locksley’s self-appointed defender, then?” “Are you the single most superstitious player in the entire National Hockey League?” That kiss came with a graze of his teeth and a noise Emma immediately regretted making. Something like a squeak bubbled out of her, flinching in the sort of way that only ensured she was even closer to Killian, and stepping on one of his toes would have detracted from the overall romance of the moment. 

“You can’t do that sort of thing in public, Swan,” Killian chided, and he really did have very good reflexes. Spinning her, Emma’s hands flew to his chest — pointedly ignoring the stitched-on face of Robin Locksley — and he didn’t move. Didn’t stumble or come anywhere close to falling. Just arched his left eyebrow and had the gall to smirk at her like they weren’t in a restaurant filled with their friends and teammates and—

“I’m not taking the shirt off, Gina,” Killian yelled over Emma’s head, “so you can stop whatever you’re doing with your face.” “Trying to turn you to stone,” Emma mumbled.

“Last I checked, she’s not a Greek myth.” “Far as you know.” He moved. Shook really, once his laugh started to echo between Emma’s ears, and they definitely had more pillows in their house than blankets, but the sound of Killian’s obvious and consistent joy was oddly similar to the softest piece of fabric Emma could imagine. Like it was capable of wrapping around her, warm without being suffocating, just this steady presence that didn’t weigh down on her and made everything feel like—

Home, she supposed. 

She was so happy; she was positive it simply poured out of her at this point. And the sweater really did not look half bad. Fit very well, at least. 

“This worked last year,” Will called, shuffling between Roland and Henry. Several wads of napkins littered the floor by their feet, a makeshift hockey game that, as far as Emma could figure, had ever-evolving rules and a tendency to knock chairs over. Roland’s jersey wasn’t quite as long as last year, the hem stopping well before his knees. 

Henry still had a twenty on his back. 

“Still looks ridiculous,” Regina countered. Her wine glass was also empty, sitting closer to Robin’s chair than she had been ten minutes earlier. “Do you think you should send them an email?” Killian’s eyebrow dropped. Pulled low in perfect tandem with the other one, Emma’s head tilting with her own sense of confusion. 

Something slammed rather loudly into one of the walls. Eric might have been doing shots behind the bar.

“What?” “An email,” Regina repeated, “to whatever website makes that monstrosity, so you can let them know that they should get more creative and offer more wardrobe choices to—” “—Idiots?” Robin quipped. 

“Professional hockey players.” Ariel clicked her tongue, ignoring her husband’s objections when she jumped onto the edge of the counter. Only a matter of time until several kids tried to follow suit. “Is your husband not a professional hockey player, Gina?” “Yes.” “Oh, that was far less of an argument than I expected,” David mumbled, stepping next to Emma, and he couldn’t quite bump her shoulder when she was still standing so close to Killian. “And kinda rude,” Will added, “all things considered.”

Regina shrugged. “I cannot possibly overstate how much I hate that sweater.” “Take it up with Banana,” Killian said. “Her gift; makes it her problem. All I am doing is—” “—Wearing it?” “And wearing it well,” he promised. If Emma’s cheeks turned red, no one mentioned it. Which might have been one of the nicer things anyone on this team had ever done for her. “Plus,” Killian continued, “Scarlet’s right. This worked last year. If you want to risk tradition and potential—” A chorus of jeers greeted his near-jinx, complete with pointed fingers and one of Ariel’s legs kicking out like she had any chance of actually reaching Killian. Or wouldn’t be annoyed by whatever harm she could possibly inflict on his upper thigh. 

Regina looked very pleased. “This does not mean you won, Gina,” Killian said, but she only shrugged again, and the first blast of Arthur’s whistle was as shrill as any sound had rights to be. 

More cries bounced off the walls and the balled-up napkins, Arthur’s hand resting on Gwen’s shoulder because at some point in the twelve seconds between the first whistle blast and everyone regaining their ability to hear; he must have decided that standing on a chair was actually a good idea.

Killian’s entire body shook behind Emma’s. 

Getting rid of the goosebumps would be something of a rather large miracle. Especially if he kept his arm around her waist like this, fingers splayed over her stomach. 

“Are we ready yet?” Arthur barked, only to be met with murmurs and more confusion, and Emma didn’t think much before accepting the glass Mary Margaret was practically shoving into her hand. 

“Is there a reason for the collective?” Robin asked. “Did you mean to include yourself in that? Are you not ready for your own speech?”

Arthur was not as good at glaring as Regina. No one mentioned that. No one had to, really. He took a deep breath before he started. “Day before the opener. We know what we did last year, and I want to be the first to tell every single one of you that I don’t give a flying fuck—” Another round of loud objections rang out around him, Arthur not quite able to wave them off because his balance really was awful, and Killian had to let go of Emma to haul Roland up his side. “—Anyone asks you about last year,” Arthur pressed, entirely unperturbed by the frustration of his team and their assorted families, “and you better tell them you don’t give’a shit about it.”

Emma tried to cover one of Roland’s ears. The other one was pressed against Killian, so she couldn’t really do anything about that. “Does he think you haven’t been quoted—like, all off-season?” “The ultimate idiot,” Killian grinned. 

“Is this over yet?” Will demanded. “I’d like to know when I can boo without threat of interruption.”

Belle kissed his cheek. 

While Ruby mumbled curses under her breath, all too aware of just how many people had asked about the Cup run and would keep asking about the Cup run and her job was not going to get any easier if the professional hockey players in that restaurant refused to answer questions all season.

“Nothing that happened last year means anything this year,” Arthur said, but it was starting to sound a bit like a proclamation or maybe an affirmation, and Emma was terrible at yoga. Never had enough patience for it. “So we are playing for something brand-new, and you better not start by screwing it all up on Thursday.” He nodded once. Glanced around because Emma knew he was waiting for some sort of reaction, but the only reaction he got was Will’s promised boo, and that was more than Arthur deserved. Especially when he knocked over the chair while getting down. 

“Tell me he’ll be better with fans,” Emma said, and Killian had to shift Roland, but then he was the one doing the cheek kissing, and the quiet guarantee of absolutely, love was nice until he added—

“Can totally beat him up if he’s not.” “You’re a violent guy, Cap.”

Nosing at the side of her jaw did not impress Roland at all. Fair, really — but then Roland was on the same counter as Ariel, her sliding down the makeshift wood to get an arm around him and her phone already out and ringing, and Will stopped boo’ing. 

To announce, in no uncertain terms, “It’s time! Leader better not screw things up, or I’ll walk to Colorado and kick him in the shins.”

“What a threat.” Robin groaned, but his phone was making noise too, and neither Elsa nor Liam were doing a very good job of sharing space in the frame. Anna was waving with both her hands, already talking a mile a minute with her sister and they were all wearing team-branded merchandise, as the ritual dictated, but this also felt like the first legitimate time Emma was part of the ritual and all three Vankald and/or Jones faces beamed when they noticed her. 

“A,” Will sighed, “you’re supposed to tell us before the taxi squad gets on the call. Then we can prepare and we don’t have to go through this every year.” Anna’s eyes noticeably thinned. “What is this, exactly?” “The gossip wheel you’ve got to run through before we can—” “—Emma’s wearing KJ’s number again!” “We live together Banana,” Killian reasoned, and the jump in Emma’s stomach was undeniable and even more uncalled for. She also hoped she didn’t mess up the ritual. 

“Still.” “Expand on that for me.” Will might have snarled. “We do not have time for this.”

“Are you an actual adult participating in this situation?” Ariel challenged. “Because I am not getting that right now.” Careful to stay out of Regina’s eye line and certain that Roland was at least momentarily distracted by another plate of onion rings, both of Will’s hands moved when he flashed specific fingers. Ariel nearly fell off the counter, she laughed so hard. 

Elsa and Anna were absolutely having their own conversation. 

And Killian kissed Emma’s hair that time. 

“Also,” Elsa added, “should we be collectively annoyed by the taxi squad marker? That’s kind of—” Her voice dropped “A dick move, right?” “You’re a picture of parental responsibility, El,” Killian said. “Buy new clothes.” “See,” Regina cried, arms thrust nearly above her head in what wasn’t quite celebration but might have simply been her innate desire to be right at all times. “Liam, you’re going to have to say something different now, you realize that?” None of them had, quite clearly. Soft gasps and quiet oh’s echoed around their spot at the end of the bar, but Liam’s chin was doing something as well. So maybe it was just genetic. Jutting out, the confidence practically dripped off him, which would have been a disgusting thought in any other situation, but there was something to be said for constants and stability, and not one of them had so much as thought the phrase back to back all offseason. 

“Your lack of belief is disappointing, Gina.” “I’m just covering our bases.” “Wrong sport,” Liam laughed, grabbing the stick that had been leaning just out of frame and it took some finagling to hold it out in front of him. Without also knocking the phone over. He nearly knocked the phone over three different times. 

Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose. “Alright,” Liam started, and Emma didn’t think she imagined the way Killian stood up a bit straighter. Robin and Will, too. “Wait, wait, shit, sorry Rol—no, but how many years is this?” “Oh my God,” Ariel grumbled. “This is kind of messing it up.” “Leader, do you not know how to do math?” Will shouted, grabbing more than one of Roland’s onion rings. Like he needed something to occupy his hands with. 

Blotches of color appeared on Liam’s face, Elsa’s head shaking back and forth now while several different grown adults tried to do the most basic math problem, and no one else heard Killian at first. Emma did. Presumably, because she was almost standing on his sneakers. 

His arm was back around her waist. “Nine years,” he repeated. 

Liam hummed. “Yeah, yeah, that’s right.” “I know it is.” Nothing about those words was enough to immediately catch Emma short, but the fingers pressed against her might have started pulling on her shirt ever so slightly and whatever look Elsa and Anna shared as soon as she circled her arms around Killian’s middle wasn’t important. Now, at least. Emma had every intention of getting them to give up whatever they knew later. 

They definitely knew something. 

She’d worry about that after the home opener. “Alright, alright, alright,” Liam chanted, the stick back up and Will’s salute lacked any sort of legitimate respect. “Nine years ago now, we all stumbled back into this stupid city and laced up skates and tripped over ourselves on the ice.” He had to glance down. Reading it off an index card, then. Emma’s heart gave a small, but sure tumble in her chest. “And we were God awful. Terrible. Embarrassingly bad. But, as with most things, we figured it out. We stopped tripping over that giant emblem at center ice and we didn’t stutter during post and we actually started scoring goals.”

The stick was starting to shake. Retirement affected forearm strength, it seemed. 

“And we inexplicably won a first-round series and made the backpages of tabloids and then something kind of incredible happened.” Emma waited for the tension, for the sound of Killian’s knuckles cracking, or the exchange glances between Robin and Will. None of it came. It was stupid to think it would. And Liam was far from done. “Down two games in Pitt—” “—Oh my God,” Ruby hissed, “who calls it Pitt?” Liam ignored her. “A two-game hole, and totally fu—messed up media in Los Angeles, but none of that mattered because you guys kept scoring goals and the entire Kings organization is a black hole of talentless idiots.” “This is scathing, Leader,” Will said, “truly. Did you practice this?” “Yes,” Elsa said before Liam could open his mouth again, and Emma’s neck was going to give up sooner rather than later. Emotions twisted between the muscles there, another weight that somehow made it easier to breathe, like they had anything to do with her lungs, but none of her cared and all of her wanted. This, specifically. “There’s more though, Scarlet. Stop interrupting.” He saluted again. 

“Getting everything you wanted’s kind of a weird thing to wrap your head around, but that’s because this isn’t everything. Not yet. Somehow you guys are still capable of scoring goals and—y’know, your quotes leave a little to be desired.” “Here, here,” Ruby murmured. 

Liam might have been the best at glaring. Like, out of all of them. “But that just means the pressure’s on. Vankald cliché requirement; patent pending.” None of the boos that garnered had much bite to them. “Keeping the tradition alive is half the fun of hockey, this dumb sport with weapons on our feet and in our hands and it’s up to you guys. All over again. Start of the season, fresh slate, knowing you can do it because you already have. You ready, Rol?”

Roland nodded more than once, enthusiasm in every jerk of his head. “To the Cup,” he shouted. 

“To the Cup,” the crowd repeated, not much enunciation between the lot of them when both of the phones had a slight delay and there was a baby crying in Colorado. Still, neither Elsa nor Liam moved and the shot glasses Eric put down were rather quickly grabbed. So as to avoid Arthur’s ire. 

Alcohol burned the back of Emma’s mouth as soon as she tilted her head, shivering against the strength of whatever it was she just drank. If she cried, she was going to be really annoyed with herself. 

And the restaurant never got too loud, or too warm, but Emma’s heart stayed at its above-average rate for the next two hours, making the prospect of walking out the door and standing at the edge of the sidewalk all the more appealing. Especially when she remembered how—

It took him two minutes to follow her. Give or take. 

“Feels like we’re in a time warp,” Killian said, leaning against the side of the restaurant while Emma desperately tried to temper her own emotions and she had more emotions than she knew one person could be capable of containing. 

“No dancing, though.” “Banana and I went to a midnight showing of that on Halloween once.” “Seriously?” “Mmmhm. Have I mentioned that I am ridiculously in love with you yet, today?” Her head fell. Neck finally giving up, Emma’s cheek twisted on top of Killian’s shoulder, and his sweater, and if there was a quota for kisses pressed to the crown of her head, he was certainly trying to reach it. Competitive weirdo. “I don’t think so.” “Idiotic.” “Eh, we’ve been busy.” “I love you,” he said, and she smiled. Wide and easy and so goddamn happy, it only occasionally felt like a massive joke. And it still wasn’t enough. As selfish as that might have been, but Liam was definitely right and this wasn’t the end, might have just been another point on a circle and hints of wholly enjoyable déjà vu. “Is this the part where we talk about dating some guy on a team?” Left eyebrow, that time. Perfectly arched while his ability to smirk continued to infuriate Emma just a little, whatever sound she made when he ducked his head and caught her lips somewhere between joy and laughter and the seemingly perpetual talent to make her swoon wherever she was standing. 

They’d definitely gotten better at kissing in the last year. 

A fact Emma had every intention of pointing out — once she was done sticking her tongue in Killian’s mouth. Or trying to get her fingers under his sweater, his soft hiss at the lack of temperature in her fingertips some kind of victory she’d think about until the home opener and possibly until the All-Star break, and the overall arch of her back wasn’t particularly comfortable. But then her hips bumped Killian’s and that drew another sound and made champagne bubbles of the far more metaphorical variety explode in the general vicinity of her heart. 

One of her feet left the ground, not doing much to help her balance, but Emma had already spent too long considering the pros and cons of balance and she scratched at the back of Killian’s head. When her back pressed into the wall, threatening to scratch through her jersey and his fingers weren’t as cold as hers, because he might have just exuded heat, which likely wasn’t a sign and she wanted it to be a sign and—

“I love you,” Emma breathed, harder than she wanted. The force of his answering smile could have melted ice. In several prominent arenas across North America. 

“You worried?” “Very vague question.” “Swan.” “No,” she said, pleased to realize she meant all three letters. With just about everything in her. “Coming out here was—” “—We could have just made out in the restaurant.” “Pushing me up against a wall probably would have gotten us kicked out.” “Which would have led us here and then home, so,” Killian shrugged, “I fail to see the problem.” “You want to go home?” His eyes closed. His smile didn’t waver. Just pressed into the side of Emma’s neck and under her jaw, scruff, and strands of hair that were a little longer than they’d been last season, and she felt him inhale. Like he was trying to breathe her in, or possibly them. The specifics didn’t matter. They were something of a package deal now, anyway.

“Did you cop this jersey from equipment?” Leaning back was impossible with the wall behind her, but Emma was something of a glutton for emotions now and inherently greedy. Killian’s eyes noticeably darkened when she moved her tongue. Directly across her teeth. “Nah, I own this.” The thump of his forehead falling to her shoulder was the most satisfying sound she’d heard in two weeks. Bar none. 

“We’re leaving now,” Killian said. “Now.”

“You don’t want to—” Lacing his fingers through hers, he didn’t quite tug her back down the alley, but it was awfully close and Emma was glad she’d thought to bring her phone with her. “They’ll figure it out.”

She hoped they did. 

Checking her phone was somewhere near the bottom of the list she had absolutely no intention of making that night, opting instead to leave a trail of clothes back to their room and she couldn’t wear the jersey to the game. They made out in the hallway outside the visitor’s locker room, though. So Emma figured it something of a wash; and the first win of the season. 

#cs ff #blue line rambles #blue line one shots #LET EMMA AND KILLIAN MAKE OUT IN EVERY NHL ARENA 2K4EVER #this has been sitting in the back of my mind for weeks #so here it is in all its sports emotion glory #sammyjojaaaa #laura rambles

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #442

“the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?”

Would you ever sell your soul? No. Do you believe that something is going to happen in 2012? Welp, clearly not. I never believed it. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to! When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? Uhhh not since I visited Sara, I think. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, for sure. Louder than I should listen to. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No. What’s the last song you heard? "The Bird and the Worm" by The Used. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. What are you most likely to do when you’re exhausted; take a nap, drink some coffee, or go for a run to get yourself pumped up again? Naps definitely win. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Mental illness, for sure. What is your favorite month of the year and why? October, bc aesthetic. What’s your least favorite animal? Probably wasps. They're mean fuckers that kill bees. What was your class song when you graduated? Some super shitty country song. Have you ever had to spend the night outside (not camping)? No. What`s the scariest living animal that you`ve petted? A tarantula, I'd say. She was a sweet rose hair that I literally did pet, which you absolutely should not do to tarantulas, but I knew nothing about them at the time. The urticating hairs on their abdomens cause serious itching, and I tell ya, that sure happened. So did you play old school Nintendo or Atari or Sega? If so which one? We had an old Atari for a long time. When/where did you meet your first love? In the hallway, during my sophomore year of high school. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? Hm, what qualifies as "regularly," really? I don't like my sister's husband, who I see semi-regularly, but I don't really talk to him. Does your family eat any unique foods for Thanksgiving that aren’t the norm? If so, what are they? Nah, not that I can think of. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? Milk; I don't like it with water. I only eat the apples and cinnamon kind. Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video? If not, what was it of? It's a let's play. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? Yes, and I still love it. What was the last book you had to read for school? Did you enjoy it, or were you just trying to get through? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I loved it. Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery? If so, how much did they win? Would/have you ever play(ed) the lottery? No to both questions. I have a very addictive personality, so I don't really mess with dangerous things that might tempt that behavior. What band/celebrity/etc. do you know the most information about? Who would you like to learn more about? Markiplier, ha ha. As for who I'd like to know more about... hm. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Girt has. Who has made the biggest difference in your life? Jason. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Also Jason. -_- What is the name on your birth certificate (feel free to withhold your last name for privacy reasons)? Brittany Marie is all you need to know. Even if shopping isn’t your favorite... every girl has a favorite store. What’s yours? My favorite physical store is Hot Topic, but my favorite store overall is Rebel's Market, which I'm pretty sure is just an online source. Which type of undies do you wear most: Thongs, bikini/briefs, bootyshorts, or granny panties? Don't you dare laugh, I prefer "granny panties" lmfao. They're what I'm comfortable in, okay. How many nail polishes do you have, if you were to take a guess? *I* have none. Idk about Mom, but I know not a lot. Are you on birth control? Do you use condoms? I use birth control to regulate my period and ease cramps. If I was sexually active though, both would be musts for me. When did you start your period? How did you react? Who did you tell first? When I got home from school sometime in middle school. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was EXTREMELY upset. Like, I cried, because I didn't feel like a kid anymore. My mom was the first to know. Have you ever had sex while on your period? If so, would you ever do it again? NO NO NO NO THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS LKASDFJ;AJW;LKERJA;WEJLRKQWLKE;JR. Which way do you swing (boys, girls, or both)? I'm bi. Or pan. I really don't know. Tell me ALL about your longest/most serious relationship. Are you still in that relationship? How about I don't, because doing that I'm sure will send me in a PTSD spiral. No, we're no longer together. Who is your ALL TIME best friend (don’t count your boyfriend, either, silly!)? Sara. I don't think I've been as close with any other best friend. Which one of your friends has the best singing voice? SARAAAAAAAAAAA. What shade are you in foundation or concealer? I don't have a clue. I don't wear either. Have you ever showered with someone? Boy or girl? Were you completely naked? "Were you completely naked." No, I shower with underwear on. I've showered with my little sister as well as my best friend as a kid. I've never shared a shower as an adult and don't want to. Do you think you’re good enough for the person you like? No. Are you a cuddler or no? If I'm really into you, YUP. And if it's not hot. Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night? No. I miss it sometimes. Have you ever walked on a beach at night? Yes. It's beautiful. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Pretty easily, yeah. Would you marry someone you didn’t love if you were paid 10 thousand dollars? No. I just wouldn't be able to stomach doing that. I'm solely marrying for love. Have you had sex today? I haven't in many years. Do you still care about your last ex? Very very much! Do you own more then one bathing suit? Nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Yeah, but none I like. Who have you recently made up with after fighting? Nobody. Who do you WANT to make up with? Jason. Megan. Do you get scared easily? Hm. It really depends on the situation. Have you seen UP? Never the full movie, actually. I need to. How many coats of mascara do you use? I use it so rarely that I barely know. Two, maybe? What’s your favorite bracelet? The one Sara gave me. I used to always wear it, but it's worn down with time and is too loose for me now, so it's just with my jewelry. What color hair does your mom have? It's naturally gray now, but she dyes it black. Favorite song to listen to when you are mad? "Headache" by Motionless In White does it. What restaurant would you want to work at? NONE. I ain't working with hungry people. I don't want to work with people - period. When people ask “how are you?” do you say “good” even if you aren’t? Depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger or someone I barely know, odds are I'm just going to reply with "fine" or something like that. Were you honestly a good kid? Yes. Is anything wrong with your eyes? I have to wear glasses, so. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? No. What is your mom’s and dad’s favorite TV show? I don't really know for either. Mom watches loads of shows, and I don't live with Dad, so. I know he really likes The Big Bang Theory, though, which Mom also loves. Have you ever suspected your mom or dad of having an affair? No, but ~supposedly~, Dad did with his now-wife. I don't know what the fuck is true between my parents, though. Do you think buying second hand clothes is gross? It depends on the type of clothing (ex., used underwear is a huge fucking no), as well as the state it's in. Does it gross you out when your parents kiss? They're divorced. That would be incredibly weird, uncomfortable, and impossible with how I know at least Mom feels towards Dad. Do you have a playlist made on YouTube? Yeah, multiple. Do you like dollar stores? I mean, sure? They have good deals occasionally and are a good option to stop for a quick snack or something. Mom doesn't actually *shop* in them, though. What’s the last thing you bought from one? I think a honeybun. Do you think it’s weird how babies are made? Well, yeah. Science can be crazy, though. Have you ever lost a friend over the opposite sex? No. Are you comfortable in a short skirt? I wouldn't be comfortable in ANY skirt. Do you and your family go on a vacation ever year? We essentially never do. Vacations cost money. We don't have money to spare. When you were going out with your last ex and you had the chance to date your celebrity crush, would you have left your bf/gf for them? No, because it's not like I know him personally, while I know her very deeply. Who was your most romantic moment with? Jason. Do you sweat easily? Like you wouldn't BELIEVE. A side effect of one (or even multiple) of my meds is hyperhidrosis, so I can sweat an ocean in two minutes, it seems. It's disgusting, and I am so self-conscious about it. What’s one memory you wish would just vanish? Just a specific moment with Jason that is particularly agonizing to recall. Are you in love with someone? No. Partying or watching a movie? Partying isn't my thing. I'd have more fun watching a movie with friends. What pisses you off the most? Child molesters/rapists, probably. Where do you want to be at a year from now? I just want a job by then, dude. I also hope I've lost a lot of weight. Do you like pickles? Only dill pickles. If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help? Honestly, no. I don't trust people. What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? We put our plastic bags into one big bag for later use. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yes. How often do you use Flickr? I don't. I only ever check my friend's for meerkat photos, ha ha. Share three nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. No, unless you want me to cry. Have you ever made any of your friends cry? Not deliberately of course, but yes. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? God no, I look high. Out of all the guys you know, who would you trust to not cheat on you? Girt. I know he never would, especially because HE'S been cheated on. How do you plan on disciplining your children? NOT by physical means, I can tell you that much. If I actually had kids, I'd teach them through (hopefully) primarily deeply talking things out. If need be, there'd be time out, grounding, things like that. I do NOT support methods like spanking your kid, so that's a big no. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? Yes; Canada. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Quinn, probably. What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? It's a tie between depression and anxiety. What is your cure for hiccups? NOTHING works for me. It's the worst. Did you ever do anything in class that annoyed other students? I mean, I don't think so. Have you used a Ouija board and had a freaky experience with it? I've never messed with one, and I don't want to. I don't know if I believe in their supernatural abilities or not, but I ain't fuckin around and finding out. Do you stick with a political party, or vote for who you like best? I pick based on their policies and morals, not necessarily their party. Do you know anyone who is an albino? No. Word search or crossword puzzle? Word searches. When you watch a game show, do you like to see people win or lose? Aw, who wants to see them lose? It's great to see people win and be so excited. Do you have a pair of fake redneck, vampire, etc. teeth? No. What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Do you get really mad when you lose a game? Not at all. I'm not very competitive, and games are about having fun. When was the last time you used a pay phone? I actually don't think I ever have. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Jason. Do you go to church every Sunday? I never go to church as I'm not religious. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? Who the fuck cares. If they're comfortable and at least have a shirt on, let 'em. Most women have breasts, big whoop. Do you even like politics? God no. What’s it like at raves? Oh god, I'd never go. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? lol yes

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''self esteem'' by the offspring

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/7/2020

I missed THE GOLDEN GLOVE at Fantastic Fest last year. It was one of my only regrets of the whole experience, but it was basically mandatory since the available screenings were opposite the much-hyped PARASITE. As annoying as that sounds, it was actually a major compliment, since what could possibly serve as a consolation prize for the most hotly anticipated movie of the year? Needless to say, I heard great things, but I could never have imagined what it was actually like. I'm still wrapping my mind around it.

Between 1970 and 1975, an exceptionally depraved serial killer named Fritz Honka murdered at least four prostitutes in Hamburg's red light district. Today, we tend to think of the archetypal serial killer in terms of ironic contradictions: The public is attracted by Ted Bundy's dashing looks and suave manner, and John Wayne Gayce's dual careers as politician and party clown. Lacking anything so remarkable, we associate psychopathy with Norman Bates' boy-next-door charm, and repeat "It's always the quiet ones" with a smirk whenever a new Jeffrey Dahmer or Dennis Nilsen is exposed to the public. The popular conception of a bloodthirsty maniac is not the fairytale monster of yore, but a wolf in sheep's clothing, whose hygienic appearance and lifestyle belie his twisted desires. In our post-everything world, the ironic surprise has become the rule. In this light, THE GOLDEN GLOVE represents a refreshing return to naked truth.

To say that writer-director Fatih Akin's version of the Fritz Honka story is shocking, repulsive, and utterly degenerated would be a gross understatement. We first meet the killer frantically trying to dispose of a corpse in his filthy flat, wallpapered with porno pinups, strewn with broken toys, and virtually projecting smell lines off of the screen. One's sense of embodiment is oppressive, even claustrophobic, as the petite Honka tries and fails to collapse the full dead weight of a human corpse into a garbage bag, before giving up and dismembering it, with nearly equal difficulty. The scene is appalling, utterly debased, and yet nothing is as shocking as the killer's visage. When he finally turns to look into the camera, it's hard to believe he's even human: the rolling glass eye, the smashed and inflated nose, the tombstone teeth and cratered skin, are almost too extreme to bear. Actually, suffering from a touch of facial blindness, I had to stare intently at Honka's face for nearly half the movie before I could fully convince myself that I was, in fact, looking at an elaborate prosthetic operation used to transform 23 year old boy band candidate Jonas Dassler into the disfigured 35 year old serial murderer.

Though West Germany remained on a steady economic upturn beginning in the 1950s and throughout the 1970s, you wouldn't know it from THE GOLDEN GLOVE. If Honka's outsides match his insides, they are further matched by his stomping grounds in the Reeperbahn, a dirty, violent, booze-soaked repository for the dregs of humanity. Though its denizens may come from different walks of life, one thing is certain: Whoever winds up there, belongs there. Honka was the child of a communist and grew up in a concentration camp, yet he swills vodka side by side with an ex-SS officer, among other societal rejects, in a crumbling dive called The Golden Glove. The scene is an excellent source of hopeless prostitutes at the end of their career, who are Honka's prime victims, as he is too frightful-looking to ensnare an attractive young girl. These pitiful women all display a peculiarly hypnotic willingness to go along with Honka, no matter how sadistic he becomes; this seems to have less to do with money, which rarely comes up, and more to do with their shared awareness that for them, and for Honka too, it's been all over, for a long time.

Not to reduce someone’s performance to their physical appearance, but ???

To call Dassler's portrayal of Honka "sympathetic" would be a bridge too far, but it is undeniably compelling. He supports the startling impact of his facial prostheses with a performance of rare intensity, a full-body transformation into a person in so much pain that a normal life will never become an option. His physical vocabulary reminded me of the stage version of The Elephant Man, in which the lead actor wears no makeup, but conveys John Merrick's deformities using his body alone. Although there is an abundance of makeup in THE GOLDEN GLOVE, Dassler's silhouette and agonized movements would be recognizable from a mile away. In spite of his near-constant screaming rage, the actor manages to craft a rich and convincing persona. During a chapter in which Honka experiments with sobriety, we find a stunning image of him hunched in the corner of his ordinarily chaotic flat, now deathly still, his eyes gazing at nothing as cigarette smoke seeps from his pores, having no idea what to do with himself when he isn't in a rolling alcoholic rampage. The moment is brief but haunting in its contrast to the rest of the film, having everything to do with Dassler's quietly vibrating anxiety.

Performances are roundly excellent here, not that least of which are from Honka's victims. The cast of middle-aged actresses looking their most disastrous is hugely responsible for the film's impact. These are the kinds of performances people call "brave", which is a euphemism for making audiences uncomfortable with an uncompromising presentation of one's own self, unvarnished by any masturbatory solicitation. Among these women is Margarete Tiesel, herself no stranger to difficult cinema: She was the star of 2012's PARADISE: LOVE, a harrowing drama about a woman who copes with her midlife crisis by pursuing sex tourism in Kenya. Her brilliant, instinctive performance as one of Honka's only survivors--though she nearly meets a fate worse than death--makes her the leading lady of a movie that was never meant to have one.

So, what does all this unpleasantness add up to, you might be asking? It's hard to say. THE GOLDEN GLOVE is a film of enormous power, but it can be difficult to explain what the point of it is, in a world where most people feel that the purpose of art is to produce some form of pleasure. This is the challenge faced by difficult movies throughout history, like THE GOLDEN GLOVE's obvious ancestors, HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER, MANIAC and THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE. Describing unremitting cruelty with relentless realism is not considered a worthy endeavor by many, even if there is real artistry in your execution; some people will even mistake you for advocating and enjoying violence and despair, as we live in a world where huge amount of movie and TV production is devoted to aspirational subjects. (The fact that people won't turn away from the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies, no matter how monotonous and condescending they become, should tell you something) How do you justify to such people, that you want to make or see work that portrays ugliness and evil with as much commitment as other movies seek to portray love, beauty, and family values? Why isn't it enough to say that these things exist, and their existence alone makes them worth contemplation?

A rare, perhaps exclusive “beautiful image” in THE GOLDEN GLOVE, from Fritz Honka’s absurd fantasies.

You may detect that I have attempted to have this frustrating conversation with many people, strangers, enemies, and friends I love and respect. I find that for some, it is simply too hard to divorce themselves from the pleasure principle. I don't say this to demean them; some hold the philosophy that art be reserved for beauty, and others have a more literary feeling that it's ok to show characters in grim circumstances, as long as the ultimate goal is to uplift the human spirit. Even I draw the line somewhere; I appreciate the punk rebellion of Troma movies as a cultural force, but I do not enjoy watching them, because I dislike what I perceive as contempt for the audience and the aestheticization of laziness--making something shitty more or less on purpose. A step or three up from that, you land in Todd Solondz territory, where you find materially gorgeous movies whose explicit statement is that our collective reverence for a quality called "humanity" is based on nothing. I like some of those movies, and sometimes I even like them when I don't like them, because I'm entranced by Solondz's technical proficiency...and maybe, deep down, I'm not completely convinced about "humanity", either. However, I don't fight very hard in arguments about him; I understand the objections. Still, I've been surprised by peers who I think of as bright and tasteful, who absolutely hated movies I thought were unassailable, like OLDBOY and WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN. In both cases, the ultimate objection was that they accuse humans of being pretentious and self-deceptive, aspiring to heroism or bemoaning their victimhood while wallowing in their own cowardice and perversity. Ok, I get it...but, not really. Why isn't it ever wholly acceptable to discuss, honestly, what we do not like about ourselves?

The beguiling thing about THE GOLDEN GLOVE is that, although it is instantly horrifying, is it also an impeccable production. The director can't help showing you crime scene photos during the ending credits, and I can't really blame him, when his crew worked so hard to bring us a vision of Fritz Honka's world that approaches virtual reality. But it isn't just slavishly realistic; it is vivid, immersive, an experience of total sensory overload. Not a square inch of this movie has been left to chance, and the product of all this graceful control is totally spellbinding. I started to think to myself that, when you've achieved this level of artifice, what really differentiates a movie like THE GOLDEN GLOVE from something like THE RED SHOES? I mean, aside from their obvious narrative differences. Both films plunge the viewer into a world that is complete beyond imagination, crafted with a rigor and sincerity that is rarely paralleled. And, I will dare to say, both films penetrate to the depths of the human soul. What Fatih Akin finds there is not the same as what Powell and Pressburger found, of course, but I don't think that makes it any less real. Akin's film is adapted from a novel by Heinz Strunk, and apparently, some critics have accused Akin of leaving behind the depth and nuance of the book, to focus instead on all that is gruesome about it. This may be true, on some level; I wouldn't know. For now, I can only insist that on watching THE GOLDEN GLOVE, for all its grotesquerie, I still got the message.

#blogtober #2020 #the golden glove #fatih akın #heinz stronk #jonas dassler #margarete tiesel #difficult cinema #horror #slasher #serial killer #period piece #adaptation #historical #biopic #fritz honka #i may have been watching a lot of powell and pressburger movies recently #sorry...

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                                                                JULY                                   2021

 THE RIB PAGE

 *****

They are still uncovering statues on Easter Island.

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Everyone is talking about ‘Exterminate all the Brutes” from Raoul Peck.

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Vampire bats, prevalent in Latin America may be on the way to the U.S.

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What they call faith, I call strength.

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Criss angel will open CABLP, a restaurant in Overton, Nevada. The letters stand for breakfast, lunch and pizza and will include a free meal outreach program to help under privileged and pediatric cancer families.

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A fifth ocean in Antartica??** There have also found 4 new ocean species: Apolemia, Tegula Kusairo, Leptarma Biju and Duobrachium Sparksae.

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In China they have found a possible new species in a skull that is 140,000 years old.

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Why would Jeffrey Toobin be back at CNN?? Surely there are more young deserving talking heads around.

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The Keystone pipeline is dead.

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5,000 pounds of explosives were discovered in a home in South LA. LAPD seems to have detonated the fireworks in a truck right there in the neighborhood. They were too dangerous to transport but not enough to blow them up??? How stupid are these people??

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Days alert : So glad to see Clyde again even if it is only for a moment!! **BTW, I do not understand the Daytime Emmy noms this year as they relate to Days. I really was pulling for Victoria Koneful (Ciara) and she won but George DelHoya (Orpheus), Tamara Braun (Ava) and Cady McClain (Jennifer)??? I was shocked when Cady McClain won. I mean, she was so whiny. I question my own ability to judge a performance. In most categories, the winner was usually the one I thought was the worst option. I was happy for Max Gail and CBS Sunday Morning.  Some performances were sure overlooked. What about James Read (Clyde), Paul Telfer (Xander), Bryan Dattilo (Lucas), Robert Scott Wilson (Ben), Daniel Kerr (Eli) and Lindsay Arnold (Allie) ?? As annoying as the Kristen character is and as long as it took me to get used to Stacy Haiduk in the role, she kicked ass this year. Did they even submit clips?? And,  they are not often on but Tony and Anna forever!!!!!!** And how wonderful is it to see the Dimera boys all together and recounting the whole fam for the votes? **And one more thing, Days was not even nominated for writing while Bold and the Beautiful spends every other show with the Liam character standing in front of the fireplace making excuses for the same shit! Just push repeat, C,mon!!**Philip had a great line for Brady about following Kristen like a zombie.** Dis Eli really say, “Peacock and chill??’ Are these the things they will have to do to do to stay on the air? It took me right out of the show. It was the same day the ads for Days on Peacock started. OMG

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Texas Gov. Abbott vetoed a bill that would make it illegal to chain up dogs without water.**ATexas churches have lost their 501(c) (3) status because it actively ‘educates’ its members on electing specific Republican politicians. –Pete West* This should have been happening long ago. Many churches I know of do this and should not be allowed to have it both ways. #tax the church

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Ellen Burstyn, Jane Curtin, Loretta Devine, Christopher Lloyd, James Caan, French Stewart and Ann-Margaret in Queen Bees and directed by Michael Lembeck?? Yes please!!

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NY has suspended Giuliani’s law license.

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Miracle Workers: The Oregon Trail is coming to TBS, this will be season 3 in the series.

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What is this about Bowen Yang?? A podcast about a sperm bank heist?? Yeow!!

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David Geffen has given $150,000,000 to Yale drama school: Every student will be tuition- free in perpetuity.

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Allison Mack was sentenced to 3 years.

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The latest in sexual assault news: James Franco has agreed to 2.2 mil settlement in sexual misconduct case.** Kyle Massey was charged with immoral communication with a minor.**Bill Cosby is out and here are some reactions: A terrible wrong is being righted.: a miscarriage of justice is corrected. I fully support survivors of sexual assault coming forward.- Phylicia Rashad*I really don’t ever want to hear again as to why many survivors don’t report their rape or assault.- Charlotte Clymer* Women are showing great restraint in not burning everything to the ground right now and I don’t know how they do it.-Jeff Tiedrich

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Amazon is making a series of A League of Their Own with Nick Offerman as the coach.

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Does anyone else have family members that are rich, transient, know it all snobs??

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It looks like New York’s ranked choice voting is leaning toward Eric Adams for Mayor.

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Michigan republicans investigating voter fraud found 2 incidents. One is for a lady who voted by mail and then died, the other was confusion over a man who had the same name as his Father. That was it!

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Jamie Lee Curtis will get the Golden Lion for lifetime achievement at the 78th Venice International Film Fest in September.

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Jerry Seinfeld will star in and direct ‘Unfrosted’ about Pop-Tarts.

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Why is Airbnb still listing properties in illegal settlements and outposts in Palestinian occupied territories? –James J. Zogby

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Merrick Garland has announced that the Justice department sued Georgia over the voting rights.

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The NFL says that it will halt the use of “race norming” which assumed black players started out with lower cognitive functioning in a $1 billion settlement of brain injury claims. The practice had made it harder for black players to qualify. –The Associated Press.

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Scary Clown 45 ended his ‘From the desk of Donald J. Trump’ blog after 29 days. Word is that he felt he was being mocked in the media.

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Religious leadership keeps engaging in partisan politics on behalf of politicians that are particularly unpopular with younger people and they wonder why younger people are disenchanted with the church. – Schooley ** Give young people credit as well for seeing through the hype and lies of these religious hypocrites who use God only as a weapon and a threat. –Larry Charles

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Amazon will stop drug testing for employment. Can every other company jump on this bandwagon? Let’s judge employees on the work they give.

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The Backstreet Boys and NSync are going to work together??!!

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Showtime is bringing back American Gigolo with Jon Bernthal.

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If Biden can carry out air strikes without proper authorization, the Senate can raise the minimum wage without the Parliamentarian.  –Alexandra M. Hunt

Reality Winner is out!!

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Judy Woodruff has been given the Peabody award for journalistic integrity.

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Donald Glover is bringing us Hive. Malia Obama will be a writer.

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Nicholas Cage has married Riko Shibata.

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Catch and Kill: The podcast tapes, is here on HBO.

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Bryan Cranston and Annette Bening will star in Jerry and Marge go large.

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Amblin Partners and Netflix are partners.

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Fall 2022 will bring the Roybal School of film and television production for underserved communities. They are looking to help 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade students. Among others, the program was cofounded by George Clooney, Don Cheadle, Kerry Washington, Mindy Kaling and Eva Longoria.

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Will there be a Wedding Crashers2??

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The Mysterious Benedict Society stars Tony Hale.** I would love to see he and Danny Pudi in something together.

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Actor Stephen Amell from Arrow was removed from a plane after getting into it with his wife.  A source said he was drunk and screaming. An official source said that they removed “an unruly customer.”** Andy Dick was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, allegedly assaulting his partner, Lucas with a metal chair.

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So.. Fox news was digitally altering the faces of people they did not care for??? Is there no end to their bullshit????

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Mark Ronson is set to marry Grace Gummer.

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Crime shows seem to be in the cycle of prisoners and the women who get a thrill from helping them escape.

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Wolfgang Van Halen has released a debut album: Mammoth

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Everyone seems to love Danny Trejo’s memoir and its honesty.

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David Spade will take over as host of Bachelor in Paradise.

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I am sickened when I see the first question that pops up on an online search is the net worth of a person. Oh this twisted world.

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Life is a short pause between 2 great mysteries. –Jung

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Prince Harry and Meghan had a daughter that they named Lilibet ‘Lili” Diana.

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Michael Flynn’s brother Charles (who withheld help from the capitol on Jan. 6), leads the U.S. Army Pacific and commands 90,000 troops.

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I am so excited to read ‘The Boys’ from Clint and Ron Howard, due out in October.

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Dave Chappelle closed out the Tribeca film fest with a surprise concert. This was the first in person film fest since Covid. Look for This time, this place which premiered there.

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Ron Wood will release the album Mr. Luck: A tribute to Jimmy Reed on Sept. 3

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Howard Stern signed a new $500 mil contract with Sirius XM. He is taking the whole summer off and many fans say they will cancel their subscription because they don’t want to pay for a summer of reruns.

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Acorn will bring Jane Seymour back to a series. Seymour will be co -executive produce on Harry Wild. Her character will be a retired University professor who loves her whiskey and solves crimes.

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Annie Murphy  stasr in ‘Kevin can f*** himself about a sitcom wife which airs on AMC.

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I still do not understand why Rep. Mike Nearman hasn’t been arrested for letting insurrectionists into the Capitol.

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There is a wing shortage??

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The Pulitzer prizes have been announced. The list includes Ben Faub, Barry Blitt, Katori Hall, Emilio Morenatti, AP photographers Marcio Jose Sanchez, Alex Brandon, David Goldman, Julio Cortez, John Minchillo, Frank Franklin II, Ringo H.W. Chiu, Evan Vucci, Mike Stewart and Noah Berger. There was a special citation for Darnella Frazier who filmed the death of George Floyd.

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Conan’s last TBS guests were Martin Short, Jack Black, Bill Hader, Mila Kunis, Dana Carvey, Patton Oswalt and JB Smoove. There were some surprises.  The big musical number never happened when Jack Black hurt himself. It was all funny and sweet but Conan never mentioned the band in the last show WTF????????????????????????????????????????? Music is so important to him and he does not thank the band? ** Colbert and Brian Stack gave Conan a cute send after4, 368 shows on CBS calling him a ‘Slenderman Ron Weasly’.  Kimmel wished Conn well also.** Hope his HBO MAX variety show goes well.** BTW, the Duvall interview with Colbert was great to see but why does nobody ever mention ‘Get Low?’ What a performance!!

*****

Tattoos are on the rise.

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Fast food drive thru’s sometime close with fake excuses like the equipment is down or something because they don’t feel like working. Good people can’t find work and so many waste the opportunities they have. AAAAGHH!!

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Valerie Bertinelli and Demi Lovato will star in ‘Hungry’ on NBC.

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Hulu will bring us David E. Kelley’s Nine Perfect Strangers with Nicole Kidman, Michael Shannon, Regina Hall, Bobby Cannavale and Melissa McCarthy.

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R.I.P. Gavin Macleod, Frank Bonner, Joy Vogelsang, Benigno Aquino, Champ Biden, victims of the Miami building collapse, Robert Sacchi, Stuart Damon, Johnny Solinger  and Clarence Williams III.