#a discussion irl about mainstream tv

[boyquiet]

What counts as queer rep? If you're only talking about subtext then you have to ask if it's really rep or if you have a colored view of the character in question. The thing about MGS is that it's not afraid to label it's queer characters as such, like vamp, Dr Strangelove, Volgin. Confirmed in canon is what I consider representation otherwise the plot gets misunderstood or motivations are misunderstood. Everything else is just interpretation, which is loose and subjective so not true rep since the subtext may be unintentional. A character isn't queer just because fans think so or want it, it has to be confirmed before it's Valid representation.

I get how you feel but the point I’m trying to get at is that too many people are concerned with what counts as Good and Valid Representation and scrutinizing every character who might be queer under a microscope so they can determine whether or not the character said enough gay things and give the work Validity Points. I agree that there is a difference between intentional and unintentional subtext but at the end of the day there’s no true way to tell aside from word of god, and subtext is subtext and not text for a reason, so the viewer can come to their own conclusions without having everything spelled out for them, and I think it can be degrading to storytelling to suggest that subtext is an invalid form of representation. I agree that it is important to have more textually canon queer people in media, but to me the idea that every queer character has to be confirmed as gay on screen and behave in an acceptable way to be considered Valid is harmful to storytelling—subtext is an important tool for all writers. I like MGS because there are queer characters on all levels of text ranging from “up to the viewer” to “confirmed by word of god” to “explicitly canon” but the levels of “canon” are pretty hotly debated when it comes to characters like bb, kaz and ocelot, so my point of view is to be less concerned with how much evidence there is and try to recognize for myself why the storytelling decisions were made, why some characters get to say they’re bisexual or lesbian but some don’t. And a lot of all of this has to do with the context of the media and the time period and all, like a lot of people try to pick apart every character under a modern lens of what’s acceptable by our current standards. like ocelot doesn’t say “im gay” or kiss big boss because aside from that not being fitting for his character or appropriate for their story, it likely would not be allowed to be made (kojima had to fight his own team to include shots of venom and kaz standing close together), but some people would only be concerned with the fact that he’s not “textually” canonically gay. anyway this is a very long winded way of saying that the “validity” of someone’s textual queerness can be very much up to interpretation, but there are many reasons why a character might be subtextually queer and trying to qualify characters as either Canon and Good or Not Canon and Queerbait is a waste of time that could be spent enjoying a character, and that character sexuality debates should be handled on a case by case basis instead of trying to make a quantifiable scale of how canon something is

#im not the authority on any of this and I know tumblr has a very different dynamic when talking about queer media as opposed to like. #a discussion irl about mainstream tv #im really really bad at being concise but I guess the point is. #representation comes in all shapes and sizes and we should be less concerned with what qualifies as Good #and spend more time just like. appreciating and connecting to the characters #cause a character being canonically gay doesn’t automatically make them better representation than someone who is subtextually gay #but I get that when it comes to cishet people and how gay people are presented to them the standards are different

[spidermanifested]

this is not my usual type of post but ive been rotating some thoughts and i guess my blogs as good a place as any to get them organized. okay so this is basically my take on the entire discourse surrounding the "feminine (presumed cis lets be honest) women are uniquely oppressed for being feminine/making female characters quote unquote Less Feminine is antifeminist" thing. which i keep seeing come up. on this internet of ours

context being im a trans guy. grew up largely seen by others as female, probably, sort of. was about as far from a cishet womans feminine as you can imagine. not in a cool tomboy way. not in a way that society had a box for. and thats the thing, is that when you fail at gender, whether youre conscious of it or not, theres this extremely profound loneliness that comes with it. part of it was the autism but i made like 6 real-life friends total from ages 4 to 18 and there were no examples of anyone with an even remotely adjacent experience i could find in the media or irl. anytime a female character skirted a little too close to actual masculinity in a tv show or movie shed get that makeover eventually. i was bullied by both boys and girls but the girls who bullied me were uniformly very feminine.

and so i see people talking about how hard feminine women and girls have it, how the world hates them for being beautiful, and on the one hand its like okay, Misogyny Exists. thats not really refutable thats just the reality of it. society hates women. and as for eurocentric femininity specifically i understand its a hard tightrope to walk!!! you have to put on all these masks BUT make them seem natural, youre forced into these narrow boxes of acceptable behavior and appearance and desires, and if you under- or over-shoot then people get reminded the whole thing is a farce and get mad (often violently!) at YOU for it

........but then my thing is, that on one side of the tightrope, the "overperforming eurocentric femininity" side, the tradwife or girlboss or blonde bimbo side, theres an entire history of structural trope-crafting to break your fall, right. like its a shitty box but its the box society WANTS you to be in. they look at you and go "yep thats a woman. we dont like those but that sure is one". there are known social niches to carve out. theres a script.

on the unfeminine side theres just. nothing. its stone cold concrete down there. and apparently twitter would have you believe its actually that the "more masculine" somebody presumed female appears the more society respects them but that to me is the wildest and most nonsense take on the planet because if people see you as a woman or girl who has not taken the needed steps to justify your place as one of those things you might as well be an alien, or even a monster. theres no script at all. and i feel like this is one of the major experiences that trans and gnc people of every gender share-- god knows trans women get the brunt of the vitriol-- and from my knowledge a lot of nonwhite people too, and also fat and disabled people, like. there are SO many things that affect your ability to achieve even a fraction of success at this aspirational femininity.

ive had to see people for real make the argument that princess peach making an angry face is masculine. i think the most masculine woman anyone on twitter can imagine right now is like a businesswoman in a form-fitting pantsuit and light mascara. maybe the struggle of succeeding at femininity under patriarchy deserves exploration, ive seen plenty of coherent and reasonable points, its not without worth as a discussion. but i do not trust the general public with the topic without immediately sliding into bog standard gender policing and transphobia, and so in closing, when the mainstream feminist take on the whole thing seems to be "the more you perform the femininity expected of you the worse you have it", i get the sensation that nobody told me it was opposite day and im about to feel real silly

[haikyuupaladin]

You’ve asked that I direct further comments to your blog as opposed to spamming the whumptober notifs, and I respect that, and I also appreciate how respectful and considerate you have been in this discussion.

I do want to preface this by saying that I do consider myself disabled, although I don’t think that I should be obligated to disclose that to write what I want to write in fiction. I do think that there is ableism in the whump community, just as there is generally ableism in the world, but I don’t think that writing about disabilities in whump is inherently ableist.

I hear what you’re saying, I understand that peoples writing can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and that there is a lot of misinformation out there about disabilities. But the same can be said for abuse or torture or the treatment of gunshot wounds. Where do we draw the line of what’s okay to write about for fun and what isn’t?

I don’t see people complaining that the way that people write torture is inaccurate. I understand that these issues around disability are closer to peoples hearts and personal experiences maybe, but anything we write about could have been experienced by someone irl. And torture happens to be my special interest so yes sometimes I do get frustrated that people show torture for information as being effective, for example, but I can also recognise that this is a work of fiction and doesn’t have to reflect reality.

I also don’t see people complaining about half the medical inaccuracies in tv shows about actual doctors. Why should casual online writers be held to a higher standard than productions with a budget and a research team?

The best way to fight ableism and stop misinformation online is to give people resources and to educate people about disability. Telling people that they can’t write something is only going to shut the conversation down. Calling people ableist for writing something wrong will not make them want to do better. It will make them feel defensive or scared to even approach the issue.

I apologise for the long ask but it’s a complex issue and I respect that it’s quite personal to you, but I do really appreciate you having this conversation with people respectfully -S

TLDR; Disability in whump is not inherently ableist but it shouldn’t be treated carelessly in any situation in writing, whether that’s in mainstream media or fanworks.

Thank you for actually taking me up on the offer to discuss this further!

First of all, I do want to clarify a few things. I also don’t think you should have to disclose your disability to have this conversation. And I don’t think writing whump about disabilities is inherently ableist. Some of my epilepsy awareness fics that I’ve written can by some definitions (though admittedly not usually my own) be considered whump in that the epileptic character spends a good portion of the fic in at the very least emotional distress.

Personally, I would consider abuse to go under a similar category as disability but torture and gunshot wounds (in most cases, though depending on the specific topic either of these can be swayed to the same category as disability) to be a different category. People who are being abused and people with disabilities have to deal with these realities on a daily basis, and it’s fairly common, and it’s also fairly common for people to turn to media, whether that’s mainstream media or fanfiction, to look for representation of those experiences.

A character getting shot or tortured is far less likely to be in the same or similar situation as someone in real life experiences every day (I’m not saying that it never happens, just that most likely, it’s not an every day situation). If you’re writing about a situation where the whump is happening for a more realistic reason, you might need to tread more carefully, but if you’re writing about a character getting shot as something like canon-typical violence or something that could easily be extrapolated from canon then a) it’s less likely to be a realistic scenario and b) it’s less likely to take someone by surprise.

I also want to stress that this isn’t just frustration that seizures and other disability related topics are being portrayed inaccurately, it’s about the effect inaccurate portrayals can have. I’ve heard countless stories from other members of the epilepsy community of someone deciding it would be a good idea to hold them down while they seized and it causing them further injury, or of someone trying to stick something in their mouths when they have a seizure, and while I’ve thankfully never had a seizure around the people who tried to argue this point with me, I’ve had people try to tell me that they should stick something in my mouth if I had a seizure. People get these ideas because they’re so prevalent in the media they consume that they assume it’s conventional wisdom instead of a myth.

The issue with not seeing as many complaints about mainstream media is two-fold: a) people are less likely to boost discussions of things happening in mainstream media. People get too attached to popular media to boost criticism of it. And b) people who are likely to have criticisms of medical dramas have likely given up on watching medical dramas because the portrayals are always inaccurate. Whereas fanfiction is more likely to be written by someone with lived experience. So we’re more likely to accidentally stumble across something with ableism in it when reading fanfiction.

I’ve actually talked more than once on this blog about bad representation in mainstream media, though usually in more generic terms, and admittedly I’ve talked more in length about the issues with strobes in mainstream media, because that’s an even more pressing issue than representation at the moment and epilepsy doesn’t commonly get any representation outside of medical dramas or adult cartoons. (It’s also important to note that discussions of ableist representations of all sorts of disabilities are actually frequently discussed if you know where to look, particularly in the disability tag or tags for those conditions, though I was taking a moment to explain what you might see if you scroll through my blog).

I actually do provide a lot of resources here, and am willing to be a resource myself where I feel capable, as do a lot of people with different disabilities. And I’m not saying people can’t write about epilepsy or disabilities in general. Just that they should do their research to be able to handle the topic respectfully, which an event like Whumptober inherently doesn’t allot a lot of time for and thus using disability related topics as prompts tends to lead to a majority of the fics filling those prompts to be ableist by accident. But while I’m always willing to educate where I can and help with finding resources, it’s also important to note that I can’t educate everyone nor should it be my responsibility or any other disabled person’s responsibility. If I tried to educate every single person who wrote an ableist fill for the seizures prompt this year, I wouldn’t have the time to do anything else, and a lot of them would be likely to respond incredibly negatively or even, as we’ve learned from multiple incidents in the past, potentially even try to trigger a seizure by sending me flashing gifs. (Thankfully this hasn’t happened to me specifically before but it happened to the reviewer who reported on the photosensitivity issues with Cyberpunk 2077, and it’s happened to I believe either the Epilepsy Foundation or Epilepsy Action for bringing up similar issues in other media).

It’s an unfair burden to expect us to educate everyone, so instead I asked Whumptober to not include prompts that are likely to produce ableist fills in the future, and to encourage people to educate themselves if they are going to write about these types of topics. Because unfortunately we can’t educate every writer in the Whumptober community but by presenting prompts that are less inherently tied to disabilities, it’s less likely that people will write about disabilities without taking the proper care with writing them. People might still find a way to write about a disability based on a prompt and they might still end up writing things that are accidentally ableist, but it will at least be less common.

#abuse mention #discussion of ableism #whumptober #discussion of torture #discussion of gun violence

[ace-thinks]

While I totally agree with your statement that it’s about lack of sexual attraction and not lack of interest in sex. I do think interest is the term that’s being used because to a non-Ace audience that’s an easier to understand word. Especially if the audience isn’t mostly LGBT then throwing around terms like ‘lack of sexual attraction’ might just get more confusing or draw out the scene more than needed, especially for what’s supposed to be a moment that’s suppose to be quick and sweet and not made a big deal out of.

I think there is a big difference between Hollywood getting it wrong and Hollywood making accessible representation. I know plenty of Ace people that use the term interest in casual conversation while discussing their Asexuality. So like idk I just feel like there should be more nuance, because yes, when in a discussion about asexuality we should use the term lack of sexual attraction, but often using more ‘simplified’ words like interest can be an easier introduction to the Ace community for non-Ace people and can help avoid making the characters Asexuality a whole ‘thing’. Again I agree with you and I hope none of this is coming off as trying to attack you, but I just think it’s a discussion that needs to be had more on when specific words matter, where they matter, and why they matter. (Also let’s be real here. Non-Ace people get confused enough when I tell them I’m not interested in sex, cause I’m repulsed by it. So I doubt any straight non-Ace person is gonna understand someone saying lack of sexual attraction. And even if they did get it then I doubt they would understand the difference between lack of sexual attraction and lack of interest in sex.)

For reference, this person is talking about a Legends of Tomorrow scene that I posted about a while back:

(Here's the full post if you want to see more of the scene.)

I totally see where you're coming from, and I agree that expecting perfection or some super in-depth definition of asexuality to come from a passing scene in a mainstream show is totally unrealistic. Like, I'd never expect two characters to casually start unpacking all the potential microlabels within asexuality or debate the merits of the Split Attraction Model etc. lol

And like you said, I know plenty of ace people who use "interest" when talking about themselves since that phrasing is accurate for a lot of people's personal experience of asexuality, and the burden of word choice is way lower for a one on one convo than it is for a major TV show.

(Honestly, the show couldn't gotten away with saying "interest" if it had been a character describing their own experience rather than someone providing a general definition of asexuality as a whole)

I also agree the average allosexual viewer might struggle to distinguish between "interest" in sex and "sexual attraction."

However, this is a really meaningful distinction for a lot of ace people and people who might one day realize they're ace.

There are so many ace people who absolutely love sex and have a high libido that they prefer to satisfy by having sex with other people. But they're still ace because they don't experience sexual attraction.

When media casually says "ace people aren't interested in sex" they invalidate all of those people. Even if a lot of ace people are comfortable enough in our identities to brush it off, there are countless people who are questioning/new to the identity who could end up on a spiral of self doubt just from that 2 sec scene.

Not only that, but asexuality is still super rare in the mainstream, so for a lot of people, these little snippets in shows is all they know.

So when allos see these definitions in the media then walk away with an incorrect understanding of asexuality, that becomes their reality—and it gives them more ammo to (knowingly or unknowingly) invalidate ace people they encounter online/irl.

It's one thing not to dive deep into a definition, but it's another thing to use incorrect or misleading terminology.

Don't get me wrong, the scene is still really cool and it made me happy to see it! Like overall they handled asexuality with a lot of care and it was obvious the writers actually wanted to do right by the community. But I also think it was irresponsible to use that phrasing.

Imo, they wouldn't even have to go on to change a lot to make it better. All they'd have to do is swap out her wording so that she says, "People who ID as ace experience little or no sexual attraction."

Sex Education did that really well in a scene that (if I remember correctly) was pretty short:

Now, to be fair, this still isn't ideal.

It'd be preferable if the counselor had said "little or no sexual attraction" like they did in Legends of Tomorrow. But imo this omission is less detrimental than exchanging "attraction" for "interest."

And the scene overall is still a masterclass in how you discuss asexuality in a simple, easy to understand way without getting lost in the weeds.

Anyways, I say all that to say: I agree that it's unfair to expect perfection or demand that mainstream media put on a Gender and Sexuality course every time they introduce an ace character, but there are ways to keep a scene concise and accessible while still being accurate and avoiding potential harm.

#ace asks #ace representation #asexual representation #ace #asexual #asexuality #sex education #legends of tomorrow #asexual awareness #ace awareness

[mirandamckenni1]

Kazumi: Every Girl Wants a Gangbang! It's the return of Kazumi! The G a n g b a n g Gal is back to give all the updates on her transition from content creator to a highly in-demand mainstream porn star. Plus she reveals how a dominatrix prepped her for a n a l, and gushes about her new Erika Lust g a n g b a n g, 'Kazumi's Party'. She and Holly discuss: can a gangbang be feminist. She says YES-- and makes her case for why every girl deserves a g a n g b a n g....and we don't disagree! Adam and Eve is the ultimate online superstore for anything sexy. Use code HOLLY at AdamEve.com to get 10 free gifts, 6 movies, plus free shipping! SHOW NOTES: :25 introducing Kazumi 2:34 differences between content and mainstream 6:20 being worried about working with AI 10:39 if her parents know she does porn yet 12:33 her relationship update 13:27 diversifying her income 15:20 starting a streetwear line 16:26 her upcoming tv show 19:38 what she's going to do after porn 20:40 asian performers in the industry 23:17 her new gangbang "Kazumi's Party" 28:55 the way the gangbang was shot 33:52 doing double vag 37:22 doing gangbangs IRL vs on cam 44:20 if people assume she always wants to have sex 47:00 having a dominatrix help her with an enema 52:55 the best food to eat for anal prep 56:05 the qualities she values most in a friend 57:00 the best compliment she's ever gotten 57:54 what makes her happy 59:26 where she sees herself in 10 years 1:02:15 her favorite subject in school 1:03:25 a lesson everyone should learn in their life 1:04:30 3 books she would recommend 1:06:40 social and "Kazumi's Party" shoutouts Want more from this podcast? Get access to tons of perks by joining my Patreon! We have exclusive bonus content such as live streams of our interviews, early releases, exclusive Q&As, access to my fine art photography and video, plus so much more! Join our community now at Patreon.com/hollyrandallunfiltered To support my show: https://ift.tt/v4Wo0BX Follow my Facebook page: https://ift.tt/i3ktgCy Follow me on Snapchat: https://ift.tt/l6eTOCq Shop my merch store! https://ift.tt/5Kt0ijy Follow me on Instagram: https://ift.tt/XjEWV7P Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hollyrandall Follow me on TikTok: https://ift.tt/jhuwNzy Visit my Official Podcast site: https://ift.tt/1HXPq39 To make a one time donation: https://ift.tt/S7GdFzk Fan mail: 26500 Agoura Road, Suite 102-838, Calabasas CA 91302 via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aofFEyreFIg

#IFTTT #YouTube #Youtube

[deadlyflan]

TLDR: I’m from old-fandom, decades ago when bullying was not acceptable. Please respect your fellow fandom freaks. Because you're one too.

TMNT fandom used to be an incredibly accepting place. We were all horrible little freaks with a weird and socially-unacceptable habit of day dreaming and writing and drawing and, honestly, obsessing about hidden turtle men in the sewers. 

Social pressure from real life kept us humble and grateful for the existence of others like us online. Because outside of fandom, the world was full of  people who had normal hobbies, like sports or crafting or gardening or volunteering for soup kitchens. Those normal people could talk about their interests in public! Mention their safe pursuits in mixed company! Claim their talents and their results in the social circles at school or at work or at church!

Make-believe man-turtle enthusiasts had nowhere in our real lives where it was okay to admit the depth of our interests without being bullied or shunned or branded as a complete freak. Whether you were a kid or an adult! 

And I have said nothing about shipping or smut or specific versions of our mutants.

If you wrote/drew/enjoyed the tamest, sweetest, most pure turtle content, you were still an IRL freak!

That's why, when us fans found each other online, space was made for all of us. Our only requirement: love the turtles. 

I get that newer fans don't have those extreme social pressures. Times have changed. 'Fandom' is not mainstream, but it's understood to exist for thousands of TV shows and movies and games. Now, the internet is everywhere and it's easier than ever to find people who agree with you. Heck, there's every expectation that there are people who agree with you; you don’t have to wonder if you’re alone.

Loving the TMNT is not an isolating experience anymore.

That's great.

But it also means that current fandom takes its fans for granted. Fans that write the wrong kinds of fiction are bullied. Fans who draw the wrong arrangement of characters are shunned. Fans who enjoy more than one type of story are disposable, worthless, and unwelcome to speak or share with the larger group. 

Fandom is meant to be a refuge for all us freaks.

How did the real world become kinder while fandom got meaner? How does that make sense? Why are the people who have the most in common doing the most damage to each other?

Of course, rate your content, tag your content, respect requests not to discuss certain topics/ships in specific settings or with specific people. Yes, yes, yes. Consideration and respect for each other's boundaries is fundamental in fandom and is how we have been able to co-exist for so long!

But respect and consideration are built on treating each other--all of each other--as if we all have value and worth and dignity. 

Every member of fandom is a real person with feelings. 

Every member of fandom likes a variety of content. 

Every member of fandom deserves to have a safe space where they are not insulted or tormented or excluded for their thoughts or creations.

Please, live and let live. Co-exist. Respect your fellow freak, you fandom weirdo.

#shipping #shipping discourse #tmnt fandom #neutral #anti #pro #pro ship #kindness #inclusion #safe space #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #fuck bullies #sharing is caring #back in the day #mailing list #forums #yahoo groups #aol instant messenger #ocs welcome #freaks (affectionate) #soapbox

[persepholline]

I've read that article about the romanticization of the Darkling and while I absolutely understand people who are pissed off/sad and I agree that it's shitty, I find LB's attitude towards Darkles stans very funny in a "girl what are you doing" sort of way because it's so petty like I've never heard of a bestselling author writing a portion of their fans into their books as a crazy cult before, it clearly hit a nerve

I'm new to the fandom but the feeling I get is she wrote something problematic ten years ago and became very embarrassed about it afterwards so she turned on the fans that liked it as a way to absolve herself. Especially since fandoms in general have become a lot more focused on discussion of what constitutes healthy/acceptable relationships to write about. And in a way I get it I had a huge Twilight phase in high school and afterwards I was super embarassed about it because of how problematic and cringe it was. But now with distance and more maturity I'm able to both still see why it was problematic and also why I was drawn to it (mostly the very unhinged representation of female desire) and like...it's really not the end of the world and no it never made me believe that breaking into somebody's room at night to watch them sleep was actually ok in real life lmao. This feels so obvious to me but apparently it needs to be said.

(More under the break this is turning into an essay, I've been thinking of this a lot recently)

And of course it's good to have these discussions about how historically romance tropes have echoed social dynamics of men's shitty behavior being romanticized and excused. But these days they often are so simplistic and focused on chasing clout that they become this weird new puritanism and moral panic about oh now women are reading novels it's going to make them hysterical or something

So you have these weird assumptions that you can't like a character and also be critical of their actions, or enjoy certain parts of a character and not others, or wish they were written differently and like them more for their potential (which I'm sure stings a bit for an author lol) - it assumes that if you like a character it means you would approve of their actions in real life, or that people just stupidly reproduce whatever they see on TV. That tendency to treat fictional characters like real people is the thing that actually worries me, to be honest, because it indicates a lack of distance and critical capacities regarding how stories are used and received. But people - fans and authors - are so scared of being called out as problematic and harassed for it that they're going to shy away from any nuance.

And yeah I think that it's good that standards of what constitutes an ideal relationship are evolving and becoming more feminist and communicative and all that and we definitely need more of that. But not all fiction has to be aspirational! Sometimes you just want to read about fucked up shit, because it's cathartic or fascinating, even healing at times because with fiction you are absolutely in control and can choose when to close the book. Toxic relationships in fiction can have an appeal specifically because they go to extremes of feeling that we don't want to go to in reality, in exactly the same way as horror movies or very violent action movies - which I don't see a lot of people besides fundamentalist Christians argue that they turn you into violent psychopaths (and that feels very obviously sexist). And for women, who are often taught growing up that love is the purpose of life, the "saving someone with your ability to love" can be a power fantasy in the same way that being a buff superhero who saves the day with their capacity for incredible violence can be a power fantasy for men. Still doesn't mean those women are going to fall in love with actual murderers or that those men are going to start beating up people at night. And love is scary, and weird, and weirdly close to horror at times, with all the potential for loss of self and being vulnerable and overwhelming feelings and potential for being horribly hurt and it should be possible for stories to explore that without anybody screaming about how this is going to Corrupt the Youth or something

And I mean I get it LB wanted to write a cautionary tale for teenagers, but it just did not work for reasons a lot of people have already written about - the fact that the Darkling is the leader of an oppressed minority and is the only one with a real political agenda to end that oppression in the first trilogy, the fact that he helps Alina come into her own power while her endgame LI is someone she keeps herself small for, that she's shamed for wanting power after growing up without any, a generally very wonky conception of privilege, and a lot of other stuff with yucky regressive implications to the point where stanning the villain actually feels liberating and empowering which is a surefire sign that the narrative is broken (unless it's a villain focused story lmao). But of course that Fanside article makes almost no mention of the political dynamics, it's all about interpersonal stuff which is an annoying trend in YA, there are those massive events happening in the background but it's made all about the feelings of the hero(ine) ; war as a self-development quest (which is kind of gross). Helnik is kind of an example of this too - I like them, I think they're fun ! But Matthias spends a big part of the story wanting to brutally murder Nina and her kind, and he mostly changes his mind because he finds her hot. Like you don't feel there is some sort of big revelation that his entire moral system and political framework is completely rotten ; it's all better because of feelings now.

As a teenager that kind of sanctimonious bullshit would have annoyed the hell out of me ; I read those books in my early twenties and I found the ending so stupid I wouldn't have trusted any message or life lessons coming from them. And I liked reading/watching dark stuff as a teenager, as a way to deal with the very intense inner turmoil I was dealing with - and I turned out fine ! Meanwhile I've seen several times women in very shitty relationships being obsessed with positive energies and stories ; they were so terrified of their life not being perfectly wholesome they ended up being delusional about their own situations.

Like personally I think the Darkling is a compelling, interesting, alluring character and also a manipulative, murderous piece of shit and that Alina should get to punish him (like in a sexy way) - but he's also the end result of centuries of war, oppression and trauma and reducing that to "toxic wounded boy" feels kind of offensive ngl ESPECIALLY since the books don't offer any kind of systemic analysis or response to oppression beyond "the bad guy should die" and "now the king/queen is a good guy our problems are solved!!!!"

In Lives of the Saints, we see how Yuri is abused extremely badly and almost killed by his father, and so when his father dies when the Fold swallows Novokribirsk, he thinks the Starless Saint has saved him. Later in KoS/RoW he's turned into this fanatic who explains away all the Darkling's crimes. The other followers talk about how the Starless Saint will bring equality for all men. Then the Darkling comes back and actually thinks his followers are pathetic, which feels again like a very pointed message to his IRL stans. Which is absolutely hilarious to me. Like oh no, if he was real he would not like you and think you're pathetic ! Yeah ...but he's not. Real. Damn right he would not like the fics where Alina puts him on a leash. I'm still going to read them. What is he going to do about it, jump out of the page ? Jfjfjjdhfgfjfj

Anyway I think the intended message is "assholes will use noble political causes for their own gain and to manipulate people" and "being abused/oppressed is not an excuse to behave badly." Which. Sure. But that's kind of like...a tired take, honestly ? A big number of villains nowadays are like this ; either they've been bullied as kids, or they're part of an oppressed group, or they have "good ideals but too extreme". This is not surprising because a lot of mainstream heroic narratives present clinging to the status quo as Good and change as chaotic and dangerous. And like sure in real life people often do bad shit because they're wounded and in danger. But if you want to do a story like that, you have to do it with nuance, talk about cycles of violence, about how society creates vulnerable people to be exploited, about how privilege gives you more choices and the luxury of morals, etc. The Grishaverse does not have this level of nuance (maybe in SoC a little bit but definitely not in TGT). So it kind of comes off as "trauma makes you evil" and "egalitarianism is dangerous" and "if you're abused/oppressed you're not allowed to fight back". And ignores the fact that historically, evil generally comes from unchecked privilege.

I guess my point is that there are many things I like about LB's writing, she knows how to create these really exciting character dynamics, and the world she has created is fascinating. But these stories are not a great starting point for imparting moral lessons. And her best characters tend to be, at least in canon, the morally grey ones. I hope one day she'll be at peace with the fact that she wrote the Darkling the way she did and leave his fans alone but in the meantime I'm just not going to take this whole thing seriously I'm sorry

#darklina #the darkling #alina starkov #aleksander morozova

[do-you-have-a-flag]

saw a video commentating on how toxic (buzzword, i know, but i want to capture the general sense of the term before it got overused) twitter is and while it was 100% correct in it’s points (addictive design, harmful culture, negative impact on mental health, encouragement of harassment, lack of control over how things spread ect) hearing this sort of stuff discussed over and over again is kind of repetitive to me and really reminds me that not everyone had the same internet experience i do

i have a moderately addictive tendency with entertainment, i know it so i am extra careful to moderate my use of online spaces so i don’t fall down hate motivated engagement too often (e.g: i will watch a carefully worded essay about an internet weirdo for the sake of curiosity, i won’t view or engage with direct bullying of that person) 

i spent a chunk of my teens in the 2000s looking at memes on one of the most extreme online forums and while it was definitely less consumed by actual hate groups then it still contained a LOT of horrible content so i quickly 1: got desensitised to shock images 2: got to see the risks of being a victim of online targeting 3: learned the syntax or tone of edgy internet humour/trolling. So I learnt how to spot certain patterns and be wary of certain types of people

the result of all of this is that even when encountering tumblr’s brand of harmful content (the sheer amount of E//D and S//H in the early to mid 2010s on here was atrocious) things like dogpiling and sock puppet accounts and drama provocation didn’t really phase me i learnt how to curate it and the same goes for twitter (although i have less control there of how much shit is promoted BY twitter trending)

so like i sympathise with criticisms of tumblr or twitter or tiktok or any other social platform because the attention driven infrastructure of these types of websites really accelerate the WORST messages and behaviours. but at the same time i kind of despair what i consider to be web literacy. 

Web literacy, for lack of a better term, is the kind of learned practicality in using online spaces similar to how people should ideally be taught to evaluate the news and media and social interaction ect. i’ve said it before but when computers became more household standard in the 90s there was a push for child and adult education that was primarily hard/software based, in the 2000s there was SOME online safety stuff introduced but it’s really not until now that the actual impact of the internet as a social space is discussed in how it effects culture. I feel like there’s a gap where older adults have little frame of reference to cope with the web, children lack the critical skills to deal with it on their own, and teens and young adults grew up having to figure a lot of this out on their own so there are gaps.

I wish there were more standards and oversight for how people are taught to interact online and what large web companies were allowed to do with their platforms. i wish other than grouping everything in with “bullying” cyber safety was paired with lessons in curation and restraint and critical thinking. i wish that the predatory and gambling-esque practices of bigger online companies in their infrastructure was restricted and penalised. I wish that the internet was treated as a utility and people’s information and attention weren’t bought and sold as products to companies. I wish a lot of things about how people behave and react online.

i spend too many hours online and not all of it is constructive or engaging with positive topics. but i’m careful about malicious content and negativity bingeing. i make sure that the online spaces i do frequent are wrangled either via algorithm or organised exploration into environments i find fun and engaging. mainstream media like tv and radio didn’t allow for the level of customisation we have now and i like to take advantage of that fact, i acknowledge that the way i engage with the internet creates a bubble.

but just because i am under-informed about the darker aspects of web culture at the moment doesn’t mean i take for granted the existence BECAUSE i spent my teens and early 20s seeing the worst of it. the last several years has been an eye opener in just how much online behaviour is not just an extreme version of real world behaviour but it also feeds back into irl spaces creating new and complex problems. the kinds of problems that MIGHT be less pervasive if we had more social structures to support digital literacy and critical media engagement. 

sorry about the essay but tumblr was originally intended as a blogging platform so consider this a semiformal blog post of my thoughts idk. internet’s fucked but no more than the rest of reality. I wish more people actively worked to make their online spaces pleasant for their own sakes at the least. 

#long post

[eddiegirls]

what are ur thoughts? 👀 (on broad city)

ok SO i think broad city has the best representation of friendship between women that i've seen on TV. i feel like it was so well done and the love between abbi and ilana feels so real (prob because they're actually friends lol). i love that their relationship was the actual focus of the show - not romantic relationships, not their careers, not the other things that shows about women are typically about. they're just unapologetically soulmate best friends who are a little bit in love, and they choose each other every time, and i think that's honestly somewhat revolutionary for mainstream media. i also think bc it started off as a web series rather than a big network show, it feels more authentic. like they're not constantly trying to sell me something and everyone's not gorgeous and perfect 24/7...it's just a show about best friends made by 2 irl best friends.

obviously it's a very white liberal feminist show. i think they TRY to do it in an ~ironic~ way sometimes but imo it does not always land...like you can tell that the majority of writers and producers are white. the hillary clinton episode for example. obviously also did not like the episode where they travel to isr*el. i was honestly surprised that i've never seen anyone discuss it critically since ik a lot of people love this show?

#honestly i thought broad city was the same show as fleabag until i watched it lol #ask #anonymous

[bandomfandombeyond]

Thank you very much. Deciphering the morals of this has been really hard for me. I appreciate AO3 for what it is, but recently I've heard about real children being written about explicitly. I've had a hard time confirming fics like that exist b/c idk any famous children, but if it's true, isn't it bad? Obvi it would be hard to prevent abusing the system, but don't we have a moral responsibility to protect real kids by not enabling pedos to use our space to fantasize about harming real kids? 1/2

So this actually hits on one of my personal squicks, which is RPF! I avoid that shit like the devil because it DOES cross the line for me of what's okay to depict happening to a fictional person vs a real person.

However, let me ask you some questions. This isn't accusatory, just provocative.

Why is AO3 on the hook to remove those works that have RPF of children, but Dan Schneider was able to use his position as a producer for nickelodeon to create multiple shows that catered to his pedophilia? Why does AO3 have to censor works when CSI Miami can show explicitly "dead" bodies of children and spend entire story arcs talking about the methods and desires of pedophiles on public television (csi came out of cbs right? And that's a public channel.) Why does AO3 have to remove works when mainstream TV shows us soft porn of people who are supposed to be teens in high school? Why do the fans who use AO3 have to feel morally responsible for every minor user on the site when their parents should be monitoring their internet access?

I don't feel that I and my fellow fans ought to be on the hook for sheltering children from the world. I feel that parents are overburdened by the financial realities of the world and this creates situations where their children are babysat and raised by the internet. That's not my fault or your fault, and it's not our responsibility. Will those kids end up fucked up? Maybe. And that will be on their parents, because internet controls aren't exactly hard to set up. My parents kept me from reading porn or really any fanfic til I was 18 and on my own (which is a different form of abuse because isolation also fucks with kids and they need a gradual ramping of responsibilities and independence to grow into adults rather than just being kicked out as children with adult age.) using internet monitoring and actually spot checking what I was doing. Do I think they went overboard? Yes.

Did they also prevent me from being sexually exploited by a teacher my sophomore/junior years? Yes they did.

Essentially, this boils down to, perhaps, an overinflated sense of personal responsibility. 'See something, say something.' However, you cannot allow yourself to carry the weight of every bad action on the internet. You are not responsible for everyone else's parenting choices. You are not responsible for what other people post or consume on the internet.

You are responsible for how you treat yourself, how you treat others, and how you respond when you see IRL injustice.

I think part of the anti brigade Issue also comes from an overwhelming inability to... Feel like they're making a difference in the real world? Like the internet connects us but also isolates us, and if you (generalized) are the sort of person who wants to step in when bad things happen but your only contact with the outside world is the internet, that can create situations where you have no real ability to change the bad, so your actions end up creating a different kind of bad instead.

Addressing the "isn't allowing pedos fantasies making them more bold" I will admit I don't know enough about the psychology of pedophilia. I don't know if it starts as fantasy and escalates like with serial killers, or if consuming fantasy media actually helps them control their urges. I don't know, and I can't comment.

I will say this: something that enables predators can also be cathartic for victims. There are always going to be competing access needs -- and that's why opt-in/opt-out is really important.

I have personally been mocked for refusing to follow or speak to minors on Twitch, tiktok etc. Other people's opinions on my boundaries do not change that the boundary exists. My morals are not compromised by ignoring the existence of problematic content when I cannot change it, my morals would be compromised if I engaged with or created content that went against them.

I hope this makes sense and if I didn't completely address your points or you'd like to discuss more, feel free to keep sending asks!

#ao3 discourse #in defense of the archive #ao3 woes #nonnymouse #anti anti #pro shipping

[rosalesbeausderholle]

since when were there ftm characters with male characters on anything? there was the one on the l word a long time ago and that’s it, no? the only mtf with female characters i know of would be that show transparent and maybe one or two random movies put on lgbt film lists. what shows are you referring to honestly?

Off the top of my head, Faking It did it, so did Druck (German Skam) and Shameless. Orphan Black did an episode when they kind of played with that with the gay character but afaik it went nowhere (even as a libfem I thought that was weird) I think there's another one but I can't remember rn.

And it's not just about pairing male characters off with trans men characters (or vice versa). On principle, I'd have nothing against trans characters being in media and depicted in relationships. I'm against it when homophobic conversion therapy-like rethoric is brought into it and that rethoric on tv is what I was talking about. The specific shows I was referring to had a storyline that was about the trans men character being like "I'm a man even if I have a vagina so you have to like me" and the gay character being eventually "taught" (ie coerced) to "get over his prejudices" (yep, they have sex in all those shows, despite the gay character's initial reluctance, yes it is as fucked up as it sounds).

Of course there's also trans women characters paired off with female characters in media (other than the ones you said, Sense8, Euphoria and more) BUT the difference is that while these pairings also have homophobic connotations, esp because the female character is always implied to be a lesbian, I have not yet seen a storyline in which a trans woman "convinces" a supposedly lesbian characters to have a relationship/sleep together because "she has to see past the physical" the same way I've seen this storyline several times with trans men/male pairings. In the stories with trans woman/female character pairings I've seen, the female character is always into the trans one from the get go, there's no need to convince her to be attracted to anyone, which is the difference, despite the homphobic elements being there still. I'm sure that story has played out with "lesbian" characters and men (in the past, at least, can't imagine it'd be popular now), but I don't know of it happening with trans characters.

And I think that has to do with how people know that it'd look bad to people in general, because regardless of identity, when you have someone who looks physically male not accepting a woman's "no", it doesn't look good, even if they believe the female character is in the wrong here, there's a difference between seeing the situation abstractly in your mind and on tv. Also, ironically, trans people would call it a transphobic depiction of trans characters (I've legit seen them be like "ok we don't have to use rapey language when you talk about genital preferences there's other ways!" hint: every discussion about "genital preferences" is inherently rapey).

Maybe I'm wrong, and we just haven't seen this specific storyline in mainstream media because of other reasons? Still, it's weird that in media it's gay men that need to be "convinced" to "be attracted to trans men" when irl it's us (lesbians) who are hit with this rethoric the most (obvs many gay men get it too and their experiences are just as painful and shouldn't be dismissed).

[gottaenjoythelittlethingzz]

Happy Storyteller Saturday! I saw in an ask your wip was based on a tv series? Witch one and how much did it influence it?

Oh boy. Are you sure about this one mate? It’ll reveal me as a fraud! Alright then.

I’m a FanFiction writer. That’s how I learned I liked to write, that’s how I learned to write fiction and separate it from school or else I would have stopped entirely years ago.

The Reaper’s Only Daughter is based off the tv series Sons of Anarchy. It centers on a motorcycle club that has a Reaper as their symbol.

I fell in love with the show in May of 2018 and have been working on Schuyler as a concept character for 2 years (and you see how little progress I’ve made on the actual WIP 🤦🏼‍♀️😹). Technically, I’ve only been working on TROD since the winter of 2018 and this is because the concepts for it as a work have gone through several changes.

When I first started out, I created Sky as well as the world around her that was based entirely off the series. The club and outlaw life, certain familia bonds, and similar villains as her club did the same work as the original from the series. However, I was so obsessed with the show, (newly) obsessed with who are now my favorite actors in the business, and so beholding to the screenwriter of the series (a career I’d like to enter) that the ideas fell through completely. I scraped all hopes for writing an original series (rather, I established my ideas as a backstory for Schuyler) and instead decided to grovel at the foot of the masters and inject her directly into the vein of fanfiction. TROD is a ff, a completely none monitizable work; and for good reason.

Sky’s story is a ‘add in scene/fixing canon’s mistakes’ story. Especially in the beginning (though the further I get into it, the more confidence I gain to venture away from canon), I flat out copy and paste dialogue, much less whole scenes and plot lines (just adding characters, changing who says what and when and to who, and changing relationships drastically). Though, the dialogue parroting is because I’m following the original story so closely, there’s hardly a way to change the delivery of information and the characters’ use a certain style of speech I’m unfamiliar with and still learning to write for. 😬✍🏼

The truth is, I’m very unconfident with my writing, ideas, and especially my dialogue. But, the more I write and the more I learn, the more I’m thinking “well hey, maybe I can go back and change this discussion just a tad” just to fix the dialogue and make it more my own work/characters.

It is funny you should ask this question. I woke up this morning with the idea (like I have many times before) where I think, “why don’t I try to write just the first chapter of what Schuyler’s story would be if it were completely my own and removed from canon”? Because I do have her, her family, and a large sum of characters to make up her extended family and one antagonist mapped out/fleshed out and characterized just ready to be written into a story of their own. And at least two plot lines, goddamn it!!

It wasn’t in the outline, but there is a scene in the chapters that I have posted where she “phones home” and has a discussion with her best friend. And in 1000 words the best friend’s entire life story, their entire friendship, and a bit of Sky’s past is revealed. I’ve been considering working in a similar phone conversation with her mother but haven’t found the right spot yet. This is all to say, I now see it is possible to do my own stuff!

Going back to writing the first chapter of an original story, I was wondering if I could detach myself enough to make it into a flash back, but since I don’t plan on writing flashbacks and I’m so focused on the story I am writing, I haven’t convinced myself to try it out just yet. Maybe one day!

There are two problems that keep me from making the jump from canon to original work:

There is nothing in my body that wants to do research for a project

In order to create the world for Sky I would have to do a mess ton of research. Title change (story can’t have anything to do with a reaper anymore 😾), research on IRL motorcycle gangs and federal officials, and organized crime (crimes). Everything that the TV show handed me on a plate would have to be scraped and I’d have to craft a new motorcycle gang that has nothing to do with any in irl or else I’ll make some very real people angry. Believe me, it’s a lot of work I’m not prepared to dedicate myself to.

There are some smaller caveats. Would the world (outside fan culture/FF) accept a female in such a masculine world, even in fiction? Would I have to make Sky a guy? Is the mainstream media ready for a polyamorous couple? I’d have to create two new characters (or revamp the ones I currently have) to take them away from the canon characters her partners already are. Or would I have to scrap this amazing relationship I’ve spent two years dreaming on entirely?!

Which brings me to my second issue:

(#2) I’m not confident enough in myself yet to write a convincing/entertaining/compelling story.

Which is a whole caveat in itself. I’m afraid my dialogue is garbage, my OC characters are not compatible/relatable, and my action scenes are bland. I’m afraid to hurt or put characters in danger that I cannot get them out of convincingly. I don’t want to take risks or make mistakes in a story. Which is a huge learning curve I’ve got to get around before I can make Schuyler a real original story concept

All of this to say, going back to the previous ask. (!)Yes, I’ve considered making Sky into an original character in an original fiction book series AND television series. (!)I’ve considered writing TROD totally following the original tv series and hardly changing anything. (!)I’m most recently considering changing things drastically and only following the series up to about S4 (but this prediction keeps dropping in season numbers and I keep thinking of new story lines for my character). (!!!) I’ve also considered finishing TROD (in 10 or so years) and then going back to write a prequel titled “The Reaper’s Sister” and a third book “The Reaper’s Mother”; both titles being totally original 👀👀👀👀☠️

I have a lot of ideas, a lot of time on my hands, and almost no will to complete any one project because projects take me years to do anything of substance with.

Regardless, I appreciate the opportunity to ramble and I’ll keep tumblr updated as far as if I ever suddenly go completely insane and start researching for my next trilogy blockbuster critically acclaimed series extravaganza!!

Thanks so, so, so much for the ask! 🖤 I appreciate the interactions. I’ll be answering questions for Storyteller Saturday this week!!

#please dont feel pressure to respond im just in lock down with family and going mad and worrying about my future writing and idndjdndjd #answered #writblr community #storyteller saturday #writeblr games #writeblr event #writer friends #my wips #my ocs #tag me in stuff #fanfiction writer #writers of tumblr #lets interact #invade my inbox #send me asks #ask my about my process #writeblr problems #writeblr community

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

The Problematic Elements of skam

(an essay no one asked for)

DISCLAIMER, this is my opinion, and i know not everyone is going to agree so im open to discussion in the comments as long as it is kept civil.

Often times, when a new season of a remake comes out or a new remake is announced, the first thing i notice is people saying what they wish is changed from the OG becuase its problematic, whether it is William’s behaviour, Isak and Even cheating on their girlfriends or Noorhelm breaking up among others.

and while i understand the sentiment, and share it to some degree, i think most of us have kind of missed the point of Skam when asking for this things.

The thing most of us liked about skam in the first place its how real it was, there was no over the top highschool drama, no dialogue no teenager would use, no ridiculous situations that wouldn’t happen in a million years irl, just the reality of what its like to be a teen, depicted on a tv show with an innovative format.

And seems to me sometimes ya’ll forget that teens in real life are also problematic, no one goes around life behaving like mother theresa all the time, making good decisions and not unnintentionaly hurting anybody, cause no one is perfect. And while a lot of the times there is a necessity for the mainstream media to depict healthy behaviour, we most also decide if we want a realistic show or just something where we push the characters just enough to take away from them their fundamental flaws.

the solution for this, in my opinion, is how the show handles the consecuenses and the actions pf the characters after the problematic thing is commited.

For William for example, this is better handled in Skam Italia, Edo and Ele follow pretty much the same storyline as Noorhelm, except in this remake, when they go on their date, you see Edoardo actually listening to Eleonora, he even says you are right, he absorbs what she says, admitts thing, and then also exposes his point of view to her, they are having a conversation where in the og, at least for me, it always felt like William was just waiting for her to finish so he could say what he thinked.

their relationship is once again fixed in the aftermath of the SA. The one thing that made me dispise season 2 on the OG was Noora falling to the floor after William found out what had happened, it was a very low point for her character and one she didn’t deserve, being there is the middle of the school yard screaming to be heard is something she shouldnt be doing cause she is the victim, and seeing how a lot of the times the victim is blamed for what happened to her in real life, it just made me hate the scene a lot more.

now, i know there are a lot of remakes that take this scene away, and i applaud them, but im going to continue to use Skam It cause its the one who follows the storyline more closely. and here they made two fundamental changes that while it still kept the problematic element of William walking away, it fixed the aftermath, and th.erefor, how the viewer interpreted his actions.

the best thing in my opinion is giving Eleonora power over her own story, but what really sold it for me is how they handle Edoardo. You can see in every scene he is in, he doesn’t hate her, he never once looks at her like she is less of what she was before, you just can see his struggle not to hold her and i have to appalud Giancarlo for the reunion scene, where William felt apatic and i just wanted to punch him Edoardo looked terrible, he admitted his mistake and his struggle not to do what he wanted to do out of fear of what could happen to Eleonora was tangible.

They ekpt the same problematic element, but framed it between the story in a way that the viewer both knows what he did is wrong, but can also redeem him beacuse of how is acts later on.

About their breakup in season 4, i think the worst thing about it it’s how it invaded Sana’s season. i think it’s pretty resonable for a couple of teens living together to have problems and make drastic decisition...but taking over a season was just....wow.

And finally...Evak cheating on their girlfriends.

cheating is never ok, ever, im not going to justify it in any way, but im also not going to suggest it gets taken away from the story. My main problem with this in the OG is how Even and Isak get away with hurting people just because both their girlfriends turn out to be shitty human beings, it was a smart move from Julie to make them that way, cause then we can justify Even and Isak not actually apologizing, but i would much rather have them be semi decent beings and Isak saying “im sorry for what i did to you, but this is who i am”.

In live people are never black or white, when it comes to morals and actions we are always different kinds of grey, and in that part of the Evak season i felt like there was clearly a white and a dark side and that’s how they got away with hurting this people without ever apologizing for it.

just to clarify.

THEY DONT NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING GAY, ever. 

they just need to adknowledge their actions hurt people, unnintentionaly or not.

so basically my conclusion to this whole thing is that the problem with the problematic behaviour from some characters depicted in Skam its not the thing itself, but how the show frames it, and treats it.

if we want real life in film, we got to be prepared for our favorite characters to do bad things sometimes, and we also need to be prepared for them facing the consequences and learning to grow from the expirience,

#skam #skam italia #skam france #skam spain #skam austin #skam nl #druck #wtfock

[soulvomit]

My hot take on some aspects of liberal culture

I need to get around to talking about "lifestyle liberalism" and how it had a lot of characteristics of an apolitical subculture more than anything else. I feel like "lifestyle liberalism" has more subcultural traits than political ones. It's a whole way of moving in the world. A lot of the new 90s liberalized middle class white mainstream culture was really about white kids pushing back on 80s culture's restrictive monoculture, with absolutely zero analysis beyond that.

For Boomers, this lifestyle liberalism meant being newly able to have the sexual, entertainment, and consumer access previously only available to some very rich people (and this probably had something to do with economic forces). This was conflated heavily in the public imagination with real civil rights struggles due to the adjacency effect of early gentrification - my mom grew up poor in Venice in the 50s and 60s, and talks a lot about how hippies came to share space with marginalized artists and radicalized outsiders, and claimed to speak for them.

But at the end of the day, lifestyle liberalism was about giving *middle class white people* more freedom of consumer practice and self expression - and it was largely successful. Even though the 80s had a weird nostalgia for the 50s and a hegemonic TV based middle class monoculture, it was... not exactly the same. Remember that lots of middle class white 50s families were still first generation middle class, and there was still the cultural baggage of the Depression and WWII. In many cases, new innovations were aimed at making the housewife's job easier, but they weren't aimed at making *her* personally more fulfilled or making time for hobbies or self-actualization any more than my mom's boss switching to a computerized office really translated to greater fulfillment of the employees. Additionally, male achievement was propagandized around the provider role.

The 80s middle class image was a cult of self-actualization and *personal* wealth, and homes optimized around the greater earning power of *two* professionals.

A shitty aspect of lifestyle liberalism is that it paved the way for Gen X and Millennial bully culture - we increasingly had a culture where young white men could do and say anything they wanted in public, with fewer and fewer restrictions, and now they could even argue that you were taking their existing freedoms away if you expected them just to play nice.

In the past, the elder generations (such as Silents) of middle class white people had a considerable power over the culture, and though they belonged to a hegemonic monoculture, there were *rules.* But that generation began dying off, and the Boomers - the privileged of whom, had been the pioneers of a massive movement of lifestyle liberalism - became the dominant cultural force. (I can't really argue with Gen Z people who argue that Gen X is actually "peak Boomer culture" in some ways. They're... not actually wrong? I feel like the self-absorption peaked in my age group. And I have a long analysis about how dating really sucked in the 90s in special kinds of ways. But it feels like a secondary topic to the topic of lifestyle liberalism.)

Lifestyle liberalism is the culture of affluent quasi-mainstream California liberalism as described by people outside of that space, whether by marginalized and counterculture people or by more traditionalist people in other spaces. I feel like this is the foundational framework of other things I talk about. Such as toxic culture and relationship memes I grew up around.

Basically these are the later white thrillseeker hippies whose main draw to 1960s-70s counterculturalism and radicalism wasn't the Civil Rights Movement or any actual political praxis. It was the fact that a liberalized middle class mainstream culture meant more personal opportunity and enjoyment for them, and greater access. And these people have always existed, hoo boy was the Victorian era rife with them!

The whole point in the 70s and after was the liberalization of the upper middle class white *lifestyle.* and it was very tied to social class, much as displaying one's travel souvenirs or name dropping the yogi they studied with, were once major social capital. Basically, an upper class behavior was now available to a growing middle class.

I feel like lots of discourse represents a growing pushback against lifestyle liberalism, but the framing often gets confusing to people outside of spaces that actually contain it, because you're describing a very specific set of subcultural behaviors that weren't universal across middle class white culture until relatively recently in my lifetime, and still aren't even observable in plenty of traditionalist American communities IRL. Doesn't mean they're not racist or what have you, but that it's a different set of social behaviors. If you're white and American, then chances are, your Silent Generation racist grandpa didn't want you to be a cultural appropriator, either, though the issue wasn't framed in any way that didn't fundamentally center white people.

To lots of lifestyle liberals, the deployment of extracultural stuff was heavily about a form of social capital previously only available to the actual rich, and about pissing off that same racist grandpa.

For what it's worth - something something baby something bathwater - the thing is, there are lots of civil rights discussions that *are* fundamentally rooted in the needs and human rights of *individual people,* so any further discussion probably warrants some framework around that. Lifestyle liberalism is individualist (it's *especially* individualist in economic approach) but all individualism isn't lifestyle liberalism, and many rights we presently enjoy (some of the most fragile and threatened ones) are based in individualism.

This isn't about whether or not people have human rights as individuals.

It's about whether or not one's relative proximity to other populations, or even pseudo-allyship, is basically a one way street granting more opportunities to the already privileged party. Such as free speech discourse that privileges only one group of people - people who already had hegemonic power, who in the 90s and 00s got to say whatever they wanted in a growing number of public spaces, and we were supposed to just let them.

#this is related to the mess of 90s dating i promise

[twentyghosts]

Earlier @fourteenacross wrote this post about our experience of getting to see the dress rehearsal for Rent Live (which I guess turns out to mostly mean that we saw the actual performance of Rent Not-Live) and I wrote this mess of feelings about my 20 year history with Rent the musical as well as the online and IRL community surrounding the musical. I’m depositing it here beneath a cut. (If you’re friends with me on Facebook: it’s the same thing I posted there.)

I've lost count of how many times I've had to awkwardly explain to someone, "I used to be into the musical Rent. No, like….REALLY into it?" Just in case I've never had to explain it to you: I used to be REALLY into the musical Rent. My junior high school chorus sang "Seasons of Love;" I adored it and eventually purchased the 2-disc CD set at Best Buy. I listened to it, oh, let's say 525,600 times. I convinced my mom to take me to see the tour for my 14th birthday. In Green Bay, Wisconsin, a 6-hour drive from our home. I loved it; I spent hours hogging our dialup internet connection to talk about the show with strangers. My friends at school didn't get the obsession. I'm not entirely sure I get the obsession; I was a 14-year-old straight cis white girl from the Midwest hung up on mostly-queer starving artists in New York. (I note this because I know for a lot of Rent fans, part of the excitement was seeing themselves represented in a way that they weren’t often repsented in the media in general/musical theater in specific; I know that wasn’t my situation.) The closest I can come to identifying the source of my obsession might be the line "connection in an isolating age." Loving Rent brought me into a whole community of people who, in some way or another, didn't quite fit in a lot of places. I met new friends waiting overnight in rush ticket lines to see the tour (bless my parents for indulging my quest to sleep outside of every theater in the Midwest; I think my mom in particular understood that something about this was giving me a place to fit in).

But mostly I talked to my Rent friends online. We talked about the musical, our favorite songs and actors and characters, but we also talked about our lives. At first I was one of the younger ones on the boards and mailing lists, and in retrospect I'm pretty sure I was a monster, but I felt so empowered to talk to cool adults who were like, IN COLLEGE and stuff. I learned about their lives and what was possible outside of my rural hometown.

As I got older, I grew apart from Rent. I stopped listening to the cast recording so much, then entirely. I got embarrassed about how obsessed I'd been. I knew the general consensus was that Rent was cheesy and overwrought. Ha ha, yes, of course, Mark and Roger should just get jobs. Benny's just trying to follow his dreams of real estate ownership. Ha, right, what even IS a "season of love"?

Then in 2009, my best friend Megan, who I'd met through Rent--who co-ran a Rent website with me, who waited in Rent lines with me, who had simply the stupidest inside jokes in the world with me….died suddenly. I was devastated, obviously, and for a long time after that, Rent was just ruined for me, simply too emotionally overwhelming on every level. Some department store started using "Seasons of Love" in their commercials and it was like a kick in the face every time I heard even a few seconds of it.

In 2012 I took a trip to New York and decided to go see the Off-Broadway production of Rent. I went by myself and wasn't sure what to expect--I knew the staging was different from what I was familiar with. I honestly don't remember a fucking thing about that production except that I cried for pretty much two hours straight, at varying levels of intensity, from the very first opening note through the finale. It was emotionally overwhelming and really just a reboot to my system.

2016 marked the TWENTY YEAR anniversary of Rent, and with it, a new tour. I saw it in 2017 with another dear friend I'd made through Rent fandom. Again: I remember nothing of this experience except crying. Well--and talking to people in the lobby while waiting for lotto to be drawn; other people with very fond memories of having seen Rent years and years ago, people who remembered the message boards and the drama.

Last year, they announced one of the upcoming live TV musicals would be Rent. "That's wild," I thought. Rent was now mainstream enough to be broadcast on network television, like Grease. But hey--I'd watch it.

At the beginning of this year--2019, 10 years (5,256,000 minutes) since Megan died--I saw a posting for an online raffle to win a trip to see the dress rehearsal for Rent Live. I entered it of course, not thinking anything of it.

And then 2 weeks ago I got an apparently legit email--I'd WON this drawing. It didn't seem possible--so many people must have entered, how on earth would I win? (Like: I'm not saying that the ghost/angel of my Rent-obsessed best friend somehow rigged this online contest for me, but I can't prove that she DIDN'T.)

The rules of the contest didn't allow me to publicly announce it, and I was scared to talk about it anyway because I was not fully convinced that it was real. Still, I asked Kait, one of my other best friends--who I also met because of Rent, twenty years ago, and who remains a hugely integral part of my life to this day--if she'd want to be my guest on this trip, proving it turned out to be real.

It was real. We went. I felt very stressed and uncertain about it all, but on Saturday, January 26th we turned up at Fox Studios and they accepted my paperwork and gave us paper wristbands and made us wait in a long line and eventually? They let us sit down on chairs in a big studio, and some actors performed Rent in that studio. It was an amazing experience; there were 1300 other fans in there with us, all so excited to see this show that must have meant something to us--it wasn't easy to get tickets to be there, everyone there wanted to be there. While we were waiting for the show, all around us we heard people reminiscing about seeing it on Broadway, meeting the cast, hating the movie version.

There were changes made to the script and staging--of course we noticed, of course we all of us had the entire full text of the original show preserved in amber in our brains. For the most part, I didn't mind--most of the changes I thought were good, or at least okay. A few annoyed me but mostly...it was Rent! I cried, of course, the minute the lights went up and Mark began his familiar monologue. Eventually I stopped crying and I laughed and screamed and just enjoyed the songs; enough time had passed that I could experience the show in a new way. It felt like coming home.

(Years on Broadway message boards have made me aware of how unprepared I am to actually discuss theatrical performances; I don't know musical or theatrical terms, I can't tell if things are off-key unless it's very drastic. I am overall a very forgiving audience member; I want to like shows and performers and generally I do, though of course sometimes I have critiques. As I type this it's been a day since Rent "Live"--which turned out to mostly actually be the dress rehearsal that I saw, due to Brennin Hunt's injury--and plenty of people have plenty to say about how low energy it was, how so and so couldn't hit the appropriate notes...and I don't know about any of that. I just know that when I was there, watching it, I felt every moment and fell in love with every character, even though yeah they should totally try to get actual jobs or whatever.)

And then--we'd already known, from the internet, from some of our old Rent friends, that the Original Broadway cast was there that night too. We suspected they'd make an appearance for us; surely they wouldn't be there just to observe. And indeed...after the finale, they bounded out on stage and sang a reprise of "Seasons of Love." If that had happened to me when I was 16, I think I might have literally passed out. I'd listened to them on the cast recording so so many times, but of course they'd all left the show by 1999, when I got into Rent. (I've been lucky enough to see original actors in other projects since then, but not Rent.) Seeing them, hearing them...honestly I felt like I had full-on Beatlemania, I was literally shaking. I couldn't believe I was so lucky to see that and hear that and feel that.

And then the next day, I got home from LA in time to watch 2/3 of the show on TV. I livetweeted it and chatted in a group chat with a bunch of my Rent friends, people from all around the country. And that's what Rent is about, really--it's about the power and importance of community, and I'm so grateful to be a part of this one. #CompulsiveBowlers #FriendshipIsThickerThanBlood #NDBT

Anyway that's why I was in LA last weekend.

#dumb stuff i make up #my emotions

[thotyssey]

On Point With: Laé D. Boi

A face of the new era of Brooklyn nightlife, this socially conscious fashionista has carved out a niche all her own in just about a year’s time. Spearheading events and shows with purposes ranging from celebrating the city’s POC queens to geeked-out Pokemon tournaments, she has certainly gotten her lay of the land... it’s Laé D. Boi!

Thotyssey: Hey Laé D., thanks for talking to us! So Pride is nearly upon us... are you excited, or are you dreading it at all?

Laé D. Boi: Thanks Jim! The pleasure is all mine. Really excited, because it’s my first working Pride as a drag queen. So it sorta, like, feels like my first Pride altogether.

This is only your first drag year? You’ve come so far!

Thank you! I like to think so! I’ve been “dragging it up” for a year and a half now. But I have major imposter syndrome, so I always feel like I’m playing catch-up to my peers.

That's, like, an epidemic for performers.

It truly is! I feel like that would be my “inner saboteur.” But in all honesty, it has been my main motivation to grow--mainly because this community is such a “pressure cooker.” But I grew up in similar scenes in Los Angeles, so you think i’d be used to it!

Speaking of inner saboteurs, you were with Crystal Hart for her Drag Race viewing party at The Bedford last night. So for the second season in a row, the Top Four will all move on to the finale as a Top Four. Um, are we surprised?

We aren’t surprised in the least bit. It’s on mainstream TV now, so they are gonna milk the seasons dry.

Who is standing out for you as the winner?

My Top 2 out of the 4 are Asia and Aquaria. They are both fierce competitors, but also amazing performers. I’m a visual person, and the looks they turned out were out of this world. I mean, Asia’s “Hats Incredible” and Aquaria’s saboteur looks were right up my alley.

Then right after the episode, you went and hosted the Wallbreaker benefit show at Macri Park. Yes, and It was so surreal. I am always humbled when performers lend their time and talent for a great cause. We raised $635. Major shout out to Anna-Lisa for being a great producer.

So, growing up in LA, were you very connected to showbiz people?

Not so much showbiz, but fashion. I worked as a stylist in LA, which is what brought me to NYC. Super-competitive, but I learned a lot! I kinda fell into drag / showbiz, funny enough.

What drew you to drag in the beginning?

Heartbreak, haha! 2016 was a rough year for me. I had a falling out from my childhood best friend who moved out here with me, the guy I was dating at the time and I had a traumatic breakup, and then Donald Trump became president. I was feeling a lot all at once, so I wrote about it as a poem, added music to it, then premiered it at a birthday performance at [The Deep End party] Otter Box. I kept going out in face until I got my first booked gig.

Is there a story about how your drag name came to you?

I love puns and dad jokes. My off-duty name is Ololade (o-la-luh-day). One of my cousins growing up would always call me Laday, and I love androgyny, so I thought lady boy. Originally it was Lae DuBoi (lay-du-boy), but people would always mess it up, so I shortened it to Laé D. Boi.

I remember seeing your name that other way! 

How did you fall into the Brooklyn scene in particular?

I only knew of Otter Box at the time because i was friends with [The Deep End’s co-owner] JEM, and followed them to The Deep End. There I met Thee Suburbia while she was working the door one day, and she gave me the lay of the land, so to speak. Still one of my best judys.

Do you sew or design for other queens?

I WISH... I can’t even sew for myself! However, I just got my first hot glue gun about a month ago, and it has been life-changing! I’ve been making all sorts of new props. Though I’ve always believed, it’s not what you wear, but how you wear it that counts.

Absolutely! So, how would you describe your performing style to the uninitiated?

Live and in color. I predominately do raps and live numbers, though when I do lip syncs, I’m a total prop princess. I live for the drama.

Props to props! And you did this past MR(S) BK pageant, right? Yes!! It was such a fun experience! I consider it to be like a drag cotillion--a fun way to “introduce” yourself into to the scene.

One great thing about the Brooklyn scene today is that there is such a diversity of performers, as far as race, ethnicity, gender, aesthetic, etc. There are more young BK queens of color turning it than ever before. But the BK audiences are still made up mostly of cis white guys. Is this a weird dynamic?

It’s so funny that you say that. This was the inspiration behind my bi-monthly party REPARATIONS at the Deep End. My co-producer Maé B. Dolores and I discussed how queer spaces that draw predominantly cis white males often use our culture, language, and music. But we would often not feel welcome in those spaces, so we decided to create our own. We feature all black performers, and have raised over $1,000 to different POC organizations like The Audre Lorde Project and Black Lives Matter.

The next REPARATIONS is coming up soon, right?

Yes!! Its June 30th. I’m so excited because its our Pride theme. We have Munroe Lilly and Merlot, and starting this month we will feature a non-black POC performer--because all POC’s deserve Reparations--and our first feature is Magenta.

Reperations underway! Before this, you’re going to perform this Saturday in the West Village for Emi Grate's “A+” revue at the Monster, which usually consists of all-Asian queens. Are you Asian at all?

I am! My grandfather on my mother’s side has family in Bihar, which is eastern India. Though I’m a huge mutt: my Dad is From Nigeria, and my Mother is Indian, black, and white.

You're Everything in every way!

Aw, shucks!

And you're gonna perform a cute party / show at Macri Park this Sunday, Resident Shevil! What's the theme behind that one?

Well, Resident Is an open platform dance party that is focused around club beats. It’s the love child of my URL-to-IRL friend DJ Dreamcast--it’s his resident party in San Francisco. If you love to dance, this is the party for you!

Then you’re kicking off Pride Weekend with "Lets Have a Tiki" at the Dromedary Bar, where I believe you've previously hosted a Pokemon Tournament! Angelica Sundae, Mini Horrorwitz, Mary Con & DJ Lady Simon will be there with you. This should be cute!

Anyone who’s worked with me knows that I love food, and Dromedary has a great menu. I’ve had my anime-inspired party there, Annie Maé, and thought, “why not have another party there too?” It’s gonna be a Pride bash that celebrates the past, with a twist. There’s even gonna be a virgin sacrifice!

Anything else coming up?

Yes, I’m releasing my first mixtape at the end of July. It’s called The Mx. Tape, and will have all my original songs I've performed over the past year: songs like, “Boyfriend Twins,” “Breaking Binary” and “Baroque n’ Boujee,” to name a few!

That’s incredible, congratulations! And finally... if you were stuck on a desert island with a BK nightlife sister or brother, who would you choose to be stuck with?

Hmmm... that’s a tough one! I’d say my drag sister Yoya. No other queen makes me laugh like she can. She’s crazy and a mess, but also vastly loyal... and taking care of people brings out the best in me.

Thanks, gurl!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Laé D. Boi’s upcoming appearances, and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

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