#but I get that when it comes to cishet people and how gay people are presented to them the standards are different

[deerainy]

I'm totally for not getting a season four and I do think it would never be the same as if we had gotten it when we should have but my soul longs for it. I just want the ending we deserve. Will and Hannibal's narrative is the only one in media I have come across that actually portrays an unconventional queer relationship without ever calling it queer. It's just two men who love each other and everyone knows and nobody is homophobic because it's the least of their problem... Like I'm aware it's silly to think that but I'm just sick of queer media making everything in a queer character's personality about being queer even though it's necessary it's all we have and it seems to push deeper the difference between us and cishet people. Like can't we just love? Can't two cannibals also be gay without it being the main point of the show? that's what I love about it. How the story isn't about Will and Hannibal being gay but just being complex and interesting fucked up characters who also happen to be gay. We need more of that. Please.

#hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #nbc hannibal #hannibal x will #will and hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal meta #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy

[boyquiet]

What counts as queer rep? If you're only talking about subtext then you have to ask if it's really rep or if you have a colored view of the character in question. The thing about MGS is that it's not afraid to label it's queer characters as such, like vamp, Dr Strangelove, Volgin. Confirmed in canon is what I consider representation otherwise the plot gets misunderstood or motivations are misunderstood. Everything else is just interpretation, which is loose and subjective so not true rep since the subtext may be unintentional. A character isn't queer just because fans think so or want it, it has to be confirmed before it's Valid representation.

I get how you feel but the point I’m trying to get at is that too many people are concerned with what counts as Good and Valid Representation and scrutinizing every character who might be queer under a microscope so they can determine whether or not the character said enough gay things and give the work Validity Points. I agree that there is a difference between intentional and unintentional subtext but at the end of the day there’s no true way to tell aside from word of god, and subtext is subtext and not text for a reason, so the viewer can come to their own conclusions without having everything spelled out for them, and I think it can be degrading to storytelling to suggest that subtext is an invalid form of representation. I agree that it is important to have more textually canon queer people in media, but to me the idea that every queer character has to be confirmed as gay on screen and behave in an acceptable way to be considered Valid is harmful to storytelling—subtext is an important tool for all writers. I like MGS because there are queer characters on all levels of text ranging from “up to the viewer” to “confirmed by word of god” to “explicitly canon” but the levels of “canon” are pretty hotly debated when it comes to characters like bb, kaz and ocelot, so my point of view is to be less concerned with how much evidence there is and try to recognize for myself why the storytelling decisions were made, why some characters get to say they’re bisexual or lesbian but some don’t. And a lot of all of this has to do with the context of the media and the time period and all, like a lot of people try to pick apart every character under a modern lens of what’s acceptable by our current standards. like ocelot doesn’t say “im gay” or kiss big boss because aside from that not being fitting for his character or appropriate for their story, it likely would not be allowed to be made (kojima had to fight his own team to include shots of venom and kaz standing close together), but some people would only be concerned with the fact that he’s not “textually” canonically gay. anyway this is a very long winded way of saying that the “validity” of someone’s textual queerness can be very much up to interpretation, but there are many reasons why a character might be subtextually queer and trying to qualify characters as either Canon and Good or Not Canon and Queerbait is a waste of time that could be spent enjoying a character, and that character sexuality debates should be handled on a case by case basis instead of trying to make a quantifiable scale of how canon something is

#im not the authority on any of this and I know tumblr has a very different dynamic when talking about queer media as opposed to like. #a discussion irl about mainstream tv #im really really bad at being concise but I guess the point is. #representation comes in all shapes and sizes and we should be less concerned with what qualifies as Good #and spend more time just like. appreciating and connecting to the characters #cause a character being canonically gay doesn’t automatically make them better representation than someone who is subtextually gay #but I get that when it comes to cishet people and how gay people are presented to them the standards are different

[carcinized]

i have srsly had irl queer people make fun of me for being queer + liking sports and tell me that is like, not gay or something. like ok just say youre chronically online. womens soccer is the queerest thing i have ever been a part of hands down. also youre an awful person

#tobin talks #ITS ABSURD. HOW CAN YOU BE THAT MEAN #this was when i was 15 so maybe thats why. but like..... its so awful. like 15 yo's always gonna act like that #but come on. lots of us online are older than that. we could be better and NOT teach this behavior to 15 yo's #because you know they learned this shit online. the specific person who did this to me was most active on tumblr. #not even tiktok or twitter this was a tumblr gay. begging you guys to change the culture 😭😭 #this goes for more than just sports obvs its about general pushing stereotypes #which is how you get queer people sacrificing parts of their identity in order to be accepted into the community #as opposed to sacrificing the queer parts of their identity to be accepted into queerphobic communities? #like tell me how thats morally sound. accept ppl as they are and not just for things theyre systemically discriminated for?? #be a nice fucking human being?? #the queer community can tear each other apart lately i wish we would go back to the pure love of it all #bc like for me it is not worth it to be close with most queer people anymore. my friends are mostly all cishet #because guess what even though they dont understand my queer identity at least theyre not assholes about my entire personality otherwise #its so awful Like. can we all agree to not be cliquey #you dont have to be a paletable aesthetic gay. you dont have to be chonrically online and never go outside. you dont have to not drive #you dont have to be bad at math. what other fucking stereotypes are there man #its so fucking stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!! like 'let people enjoy things' goes for all things not just online stuff like this is a two way street #yes non online/gay/neurodivergent people should be kinder about 'cringe' interests. but hey that doesnt mean we get to be dicks to people #with more common interests or like... idk man im talking in circles here. but god when did the lgbtq+ community turn into a clique #do this do that if you dont we'll ignore that part of you or actively make fun of you for it. #STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 #non rebloggable im just ranting here this is not one to rb. but like. ITS SO AWFUL AND MEAN. STOP

[cryptidunknown]

girl help i came out as a lesbian at school and i kinda wish i hadn’t

no one’s been homophobic but i didn’t realize how fast stuff like that would travel. i told friends and they told their friends and now like everyone knows :/

i don’t really enjoy how i’m perceived when people who don’t know me well know i’m gay

also recently i’ve been wondering if i’m ace so that doesn’t help

#op #it’s just community college so i won’t be here long but still #probably just won’t come out again when i transfer #i don’t mind people knowing but i also kinda don’t think it’s anyone’s business yknow #also i told this one (cishet) guy friend i wasn’t out to my parents and now he’s being super weird about wanting me to come out to them???? #he’s like ‘you’re gonna have to tell them EVENTUALLY’ and ‘they’ll get over it it won’t be so bad’ idk how to explain homophobia to him #like how do you explain to a white cishet male that my family finding out i’m gay will have. consequences

[ghost-orion]

.

#personal #i still have like a deep seated hatred for people who like girls and i have no idea why #i've been like this since 15 what's going on. like i can't get to the bottom of it?? where did this come from?? #it's bisexuals it's lesbians; straight guys are like. idk not really 'off the hook' but i guess they're like 'well whatever' #cishet guys are like 'well what would i do with you anyway' and i relate to trans straight guys on the basis of being trans #but i just. idk. i just seethe #it goes away when i hang out with -lw people but when i'm alone and i see someone be like 'yeah haha i've been talking to a girl' #or someone 'simping' in the comments of a girl's selfie or whatever i'm like '!!¡!' #and like this has a root somewhere but i can't really find it? i think the closest is like jealousy ig. but idk?? #it's not like i want lesbians to be attracted to me lol or that i need everyone to drop everything Look At Me >:[ #disclaimer: this is something that i'm working on and i don't tell anyone i'm just putting it here to say it somewhere #it might be like a gender thing. i'm like kinda genderfluid in some way and #and i'm a trans person who considers itself to 'have been a girl and now live as not-that' #so maybe it's like. 'i've been called a pretty girl and now i've abandoned this for an uphill battle of chasing gay guys who fucking hate #trans people' #and by that i mean gay guys around here are just. woof #i am in fact not into transphobes dkdkksks #it's just. idk #if you're reading this and you like women i don't hate you btw jdnjs this is a me problem and you're fine lol i realize how fucked up it is

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #gay #lesbian #bisexual #aromantic #asexual #trans #transgender #non binary #nonbinary #enby #ftm #trans man #trans men #trans boy #trans girl #trans woman #trans women #trans lady #transfemme #transfeminine #transfem #transmasculine #transmasc #genderqueer #gnc #drag

[sarasade]

One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".

Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.

That's the TL;DR version of this post. 

ANYWAY here is the long version

Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".

One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.

Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.

It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.

This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.

People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.

I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.

Anyway if you want to read more:

- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info

-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos

-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.

-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa

- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.

-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge

#Also I don't mean that you can always tell if someone is a transphobe or a TERF based on a couple of things they have said. #My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too. #This is not a call out post about how we should go around accusing anti-fujoshi people #todd in the shadows #hbomberguy #sarasade text #even I've got those “Fandom is mostly straight women fetishizing gay men” comments once and it begins to sound kind of passive-aggressive #when you're a bi woman. Lot of fandom stats at AO3 show that fandoms are montly bi women. who are these people calling straight exactly hmm #also straight women are completely ok leave them alone. I know I know Yes I'm so brave for saying this #cw: transphobia

[gentlemanbutch]

I truly wish I could get cis people and non-butches to understand how inherent transness/butchness/gender-nonconformity is for so many of us, specifically related to how visible it can be even when we do our damndest to hide it.

My parents suggested I detransition/try to appear “womanly” because it’s getting really dangerous where I live, and I’m just like…there is no world in which I can make that work. I was getting called a lesbian and a dyke as a teen before I even figured out I was gay. I was shoved up against a wall in college and sexually assaulted in public when I was in the process of coming out and presenting very femininely, specifically because I was a lesbian. Even when I spent hours playing with makeup because it was kind of fun (because I did wacky styles that make me think I was using it as a drag thing more than anything) I still stuck out next to cishet girls.

I’m not saying I can’t do things to improve my safety, but I have been butch/trans/gender-nonconforming my entire life. I cannot undo that from the fabric of who I am; even if I cover it up, the people who want to do harm can typically still pick up on it.

#it’s probably also an autistic thing! cause femininity was very much part of my attempt at masking and it did not work. #butch #trans #gender nonconforming #butch lesbian #butch dyke #trans butch #transmasc butch #transmasc lesbian #transmasc #nonbinary lesbian #nonbinary #lesbian #dyke #tw sa mention

[faggy--butch]

sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"

theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?

of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.

and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.

anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.

I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men

but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.

being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon

#transandrophobia #asks

[catnippackets]

disclaimer: as a sex-repulsed aroace person myself--

on one hand, there is definitely a bit of a double standard when it comes to handling canonically queer characters like, from what I've seen in the circles that I frequent (if you've had different experiences then great but I'm just telling it how I see it). for example, you're morally reprehensible if you ship a canon lesbian with a man or refer to a canon bi character as a lesbian. people will be so angry with you. and it's understandable, since there's so little queer rep in comparison to cishet rep that when there IS a rare actual queer character, the unofficial rule is "don't take that away from them when you add more headcanons to them". like, respect that this one is REAL and NOT just a headcanon. I think it makes perfect sense to feel upset when people take that away, even if it is just fiction and not even canon to the original source. and yet, whenever there exists a canon asexual character suddenly it's all "oh well asexual people can still have sex so it's fine if we headcanon THIS canon sexuality as something different". it makes me feel so genuinely heartache-y and depressed to see ppl ignoring that aspect of a character.

and by "canon" I'm also including characters that were never specifically referred to with a label but are very obviously coded as something, because those characters will still get the "even if it's not stated it's pretty obvious!!" treatment when it comes to showing attraction to the same gender, but not when they DON'T show attraction to any gender. like aro and/or ace coding just doesn't count. I understand that it's kind of hard to represent an absence of something, especially when you're only implying it and not even directly showing it, but it's not impossible. there's a lot of characters that you could argue are aroace coded the same way you could argue a character is gay coded. obviously to a degree every queer identity gets disrespected in fandom and it's something you just kinda have to deal with, but it's easier to notice when it's something you personally relate to. I don't think it would bother me as much if we didn't have that unofficial "respect the canon" rule and everyone just went wild with whatever, but the double standard does genuinely hurt me, especially when I see people I thought were cool about this stuff participating in it. so whenever I see someone fiercely defending an asexual character it really makes me feel good, like I'M being defended, not a random fictional character that I might not even recognize the name of. I feel safe, like that person will respect ME.

THAT BEING SAID,

AS a sex-repulsed aroace person who enjoys thinking about the entire spectrum of intimacy and where a character may fall exactly on that spectrum, ALSO as a person who is aware that "asexual" simply means "does not experience sexual attraction" and not necessarily "is violently repulsed by anything sexual", sometimes I DO want to play out scenarios for my own enjoyment. sometimes I DO want to think hm I wonder where this ace character's line is, compared to a different ace character. I wonder if there is anyone who would be an exception for them, and how they could go about dealing with that exception. I wonder if they're favourable, neutral, or repulsed. if those aspects of their character aren't explicitly stated then what's to stop me from playing around with them and working through my own issues in a controlled and non-canon environment? if they have the same identity as me, I am way more likely to want to play around with them like a doll and perhaps play out scenarios that I might have thought about before but don't actually want to do for real. I'm not taking away their identity, after all; I'm just, in this scenario, imagining this ace character as an ace that might have sex on at least one occasion for whatever reason. either just to try it, or because they do have someone they'd make an exception for, or if they got bored enough, whatever the reason. it isn't quite disrespecting their truth unless it's explicitly stated either in canon or by word of god that it's something they're uncomfortable with. and to be honest, if I see another asexual creator headcanoning a character as somewhere on the asexual spectrum and depicting them in sexual situations, it makes me almost happy, to know that they're still acknowledging that character's canon identity and accepting and exploring the nuance that could come with it, even if I personally believe that this specific character would be repulsed instead of neutral or favourable. there's this understanding of "I'm doing a character study exploration thing", and not "I don't care I just wanna sexualize this character"

but I literally feel GUILTY when I want to write what is essentially a thinkpiece disguised as a fanfiction or original story on asexuality and take an asexual character (canon or coded) and involve them in sexual situations to explore different avenues of the spectrum. I feel like I'm betraying everyone who's like me and is frustrated with how aroace characters are treated within fandom. I'm like "am I being just as bad as those other people who will disrespect a character's canon sexuality just because they think that character is hot and want to ship them with someone? do they do the same thing with other types of queer characters? how does this reflect that person's view of people, if they're explicitly told someone feels a certain way and decides to ignore it for their own amusement? or is it just because they're fictional and not real people and I'm being really sensitive and thinking way too much into it? am I not doing the exact same thing? do I have more credence to explore scenarios like this because I am aroace and sex-repulsed myself and therefore have a pass to do whatever I want and it won't come off as a little weird the way it might if someone who's allosexual did it?"

and these two opinions are at war in my mind constantly. like both of them can and do co-exist but I still struggle to accept that lol

#ramblings #asexuality #I almost kinda wanna make a video on this bc I feel like just writing does not even explain what I'm trying to say

[buckttommy]

umm. pause. guys. guys. gay tommy has been canon this entire time. what the fuck. like. oh my god. no. like. okay. okay. so. 2x9 (hen begins), sal [deluca] is talking about his girlfriend dragging him to see twilight. he makes a homophobic joke about tommy being team jacob and tommy's like "i don't even know what that means." chimney says "he's insinuating that you're gay" and tommy blows deluca a kiss. fine. whatever. but THEN you skip to 2x12 (chimney begins), and—i stg it's a blink and you miss it moment—tommy and gerrard (racist captain) are having this conversation in the background

tommy: what about that burger place? gerrard: tommy i hate that place. hey wasn't your girlfriend supposed to come and cook us dinner? tommy: uhh. next tuesday. gerrard: promise? tommy: uhh. uh. yes. yeah. i will promise.

and it's like. number one, this sounds like a conversation they've had before. something to the tune of "hey, how come you never bring your girlfriend around" which i can't help but think was intentional considering the members of the old 118 were entirely familiar with deluca's girlfriend gina. but number two, no straight man who has a girlfriend sounds that unsure that they have a fucking girlfriend. it was very much giving "ah yes. this human lady that i love that most definitely exists. absolutely. also i like breasts." and it's just like. ok. what the fuck. like. i don't know if this was the plan all along. i don't think it was. i still maintain buck/eddie were supposed to go canon after the shooting and the powers that be got in the way. but. but. the idea that this canon queer character has been hiding in plain sight (subtext) is just. wild to me. like. i've always headcanoned tommy as gay, mostly because every character he plays seems fruity as hell. but bro. i don't think it's a headcanon anymore. and i don't think it ever has been. what the fuck.

there's also the idea that. like. so i've been watching the begins episodes again trying to figure out what, exactly, tommy's crime against the members of the 118 has been. like. he worked in a -phobic/-cist environment. he was definitely complicit in making hen/chimney feel like outsiders in their workplace yes yes all these things are true. but as far as i can tell, tommy has rarely ever actively been anything except spineless. deluca makes a homophobic joke? tommy laughs. gerrard makes a bunch of sexist and racist comments? tommy looks, but doesn't say anything to encourage (or discourage him). hen gives her monologue? he looks chagrined.

and his complicity would be absolutely shitty and inexcusable if he was just a cishet white man. no questions asked. but if — if — you view his behavior through the lens of the fact that tommy is queer himself? that tommy is, and always has been, a member of a marginalized community who felt it was easier and safer to assimilate than it was to be openly queer and have a target on his back? his behavior becomes a whole hell of a lot more understandable. yes, it's still shitty, but. there's a purpose behind it. and this idea is supported by the fact that, when gerrard leaves (flashing forward to bobby begins again), even before bobby gets there (because we always credit bobby with making the 118 the family it is today), like. the atmosphere is completely different. tommy and hen? are friendly with each other. chimney and tommy? also friendly with each other. which we also know because in 2x14 broken, he calls him up for help. which lends credibility to the idea that the problems tommy had (or thought he had) with henchim were not about them as people but more about whatever manufactured conservative boys club bullshit gerrard fostered.

and it's just like. motherfucker. bitch. what the hell. like. first of all, leave it to 9-1-1 to tell a story like this in the most subtle way possible. like if that was indeed the intended implication, i'm throwing my tv off a bridge immediately. but also. second of all. what is wrong with this show. they're crazy. i want to eat it like a loaf of bread. just shovel it in my mouth because the idea that tommy has been queer all along, that he wasn't brought back just to be a stopgap on buck's queer journey to eddie, but that he's been haunting the edges of the narrative like a gay ghost is sooo like. ohhh. okay. [throws up]. like????? okay. anyway. i'm going to be thinking about this the rest of the day.

#tommy kinard #head in hands.....................HEAD IN HANDS #tv: 911 #jack.txt #There's also something to be said about the idea of FOX main characterizing Buck/Oliver #around the same time they put a stop to Buddie #Something about like. Conventionally attractive (dark hair / light eyes) white men are not allowed to be loudly quee #and like. I KNEW there was something there #I knew it. And I love Michael and David and Karen and Hen don't get me wrong #those are my emotional support gays #but I was just like ''hm. kind of funny how every queer character connected to the mains is a person of color right?'' #and I never vocalized this thought to ANYONE but I always kept it in the back of my mind #even the men michael would be seen with *before* David — always black #and there's nothing wrong with it it's fine #but the idea becomes a LOT more insidious when I consider FOX's politics—when i consider that both racism and homophobia are inherent to #their brand. and then it's just like ''ohh. you guys made the black people dirty queers because white is right. okay got it'' #anyways. let me stop talking. lol

[punkeropercyjackson]

Yeah,no,Zutaras don't care about representation for anyone other than themselves.Because if they did,why do they

Call Aang white because they don't like him while knowing full well he's tibetan and come up with every insult in the book for him because he's a femme boy

Say Mai is a pick me and toxic because of her autistic-coding and trauma responses and dosen't 'deserve' Zuko even though he canonically finds the former attractive and has the latter too

Accuse Zukka shippers of being fujoshis who 'just hate women' for wanting Sokka to be bi and Zuko his boyfriend when most Zukka shippers are queer minors who only started the fandom because Atla got put on Netflix so that's how they found out it then instead of when it came out

And completely disregard Ty Lee as an even potentional love interest for Zuko by calling her 'too much of a bimbo' and 'stereotypically girly' for him when she was written with deconstructing that archetype in mind by giving her real emotions and what it puts girls through by misogynists who want to police how we present even if it's a healing/coping mechanism like in her case?

If moc queer or not love Kataang,they get called dudebros with no basis.If autistic women instead of just 'quirky nerds' love Maiko,they get strawmaned as 'creepy alt girls who're trying too hard'.If gay and trans people love Zukka,they get the classic 'these FILTHY GAYS are RUINING our HETEROSEXUAL SPACE' take.And if autistic queer girls who're femme in ways that aren't palpable to allistics and cishets love Ty Luko,we get told we aren't even worth considering romantic options because we're too 'stupid' and can't 'really have deep connections' that aren't being someone's annoying friend.You wanted Zutara to be canon because you're a woc like Katara and had a crush on Zuko?Cool,i feel the same way about Ty Luko and so do certain Maiko and Zukka shippers with their ships but none of run around cyberbullying school children and causing unnecessary infighting over it!So be quiet,not everything is about you and at this point we've proven we're too good to be near you so leave and don't forget to let door hit you on the way out♡

#anti zutara #kataang #maiko atla #zukka #ty luko #t4t kataang #t4t maiko #t4t zukka #t4t ty luko #katara #zuko #aang #mai atla #sokka #ty lee #atla geekery #pro aang #aang defense squad #pro mai #pro ty lee #pro katara #pro zuko #punk katara #trans ty lee #kataang defense squad #pro maiko #pro zukka #pro ty luko #autistic girl summer #summerposting

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

PRIDE MONTH PROMPTS 2024

They are here!!

Last year I released them in May, and I asked you when I should release it this year. You agreed I should release it early/mid april. And I think the perfect time is now! You have plenty of time to prepare your things for June!

So, here are 30 prompts, 1 prompt per day, for all of June! Use them for writing, or for art, or why not for something else creative you can come up with?

I will now write all the prompts in the list if it's hard to read, plus some explanations/suggestion what you can do for them.

Day 1. Actually, I'm not straight. Someone kicking off pride month by telling their nearest and dearest that they aren't straight, like everyone seems to think!

Day 2. Surprise! We're dating! A couple comes out to their friends ;)

Day 3. Early signs. Early signs someone was not straight, or not cis. Or both!

Day 4. Gender euphoria. Euphoooooriaaaaa forever to end of time /j Ok no but yeah, someone experiencing gender euphoria :) It's great :)

Day 5. Surprise! We're engaged! Surprise engagement! Did people even know they were dating?

Day 6. Proposal. You can choose to show the proposal for the couple at day 5... or a brand new couple! :D

Day 7. Pride flags. Are they making pride flags? Buying pride flags? Identifying pride flags? So much you can do! :)

Day 8. Prideful baking. A return from last year! Who's baking? Are they doing it with pride? Are they making rainbow cakes? This is also a way to make some ships be cute together as they bake.

Day 9. Wedding. To quote Sam from Glee: "YEAH! COME ON GUYS! GAY MARRIAGE GOOD!"

Day 10. Shenanigans at the Pride Parade. Time to let those characters run wild at the pride parade!

Day 11. Coming out as trans. Pretty self explanatory I think ;)

Day 12. Planning for a child. Two women, two men, maybe a trans couple... any not-cishet couple are planning for a child <3 Are they adopting? IVF? However they're doing it, they're gonna get that child :)

Day 13. Two moms. Two mommies thriving with their kiddos!

Day 14. Are they dating or not? People are speculating the relationship of some people.

Day 15. First crush. Aww, someone's first crush! Have they ever felt this before?

Day 16. Alternate universe. Go crazy with this! This could mean anything from "a universe in which this ship is canon" to "they live in a fantasy world". Do whatever!

Day 17. Realizing they're ace. Self explanatory ;)

Day 18. Two dads. Two daddies on request (Sorry I've watched too much of Papás por encargo (Daddies on request) to not make that joke). They'll do anything for the kids!

Day 19. I thought everyone liked both? What??? They don't?????

Day 20. Fruity sleepover. Anything and everything can happen at a sleepover!

Day 21. Pining. They pine so hard and yet... will their crush ever notice?

Day 22. Secret dating. Or are they as they secret as they think? How much chaos do they end up in to keep this?

Day 23. Dinner. Maybe just a normal dinner in a queer friendgroup. Or maybe someone coming out at dinner. Maybe the first dinner at their partner's house. Or maybe someone's making dinner for their loved one.

Day 24. Confession. Coming out confession? Confession to your crush? Just a confession about your favorite food in the middle of a pride parade? Yeah, you decide!

Day 25. Date. THEY'RE ON A DATE THE BABIES!!! Is it a good date? I hope so!

Day 26. Gender is a construct. Not everything is binary.

Day 27. Queer group meeting. You can toy around with this a lot. A group meeting with closeted gays? A group meeting with every character from your different fandoms that you headcanon as bi that you want to interact in the group meeting for disaster bi's? A group meeting for aces just vibing? Maybe we'll meet a lot of different groups!

Day 28. Accidental coming out. Oops!

Day 29. Alternate time period. You want to play out a little love story but instead they live in the 1950s? Or maybe they live in the future! Maybe they live in the medieval times! Woah!

Day 30. Growing old together. Look at them now. Who knew they'd find each other in the world and now they're here?

I hope I'm gonna see some of you in pride month! It's always a pleasure! Also, when the time comes in June, and you want to use one of these prompts, don't forget to tag me ;)

#pride month prompts #prompts #pride month

[genderqueerdykes]

happy international asexuality day!

April 6th marks International Asexuality Day, a day meant for recognizing, validating, educating and embracing the asexual umbrella of identities, including, but definitely not limited to asexual, aroace, demisexual, greyasexual, aceflux, pomosexual, quoisexual, and other aspectrum identifying people.

i began identifying as asexual as well as aromantic in the early 2010s before silently dropping the label as tensions around whether or not asexual people were "truly" queer/lgbt rose. i felt ashamed of that part of me and stopped talking about it, but as time has passed, the asexual community has started to rebuild, and the entire queer community owes it to the asexual community to help us rebuild and establish ourselves.

we have been the butt of many jokes for years and its time to get rid of the stigma this identity has once and for all and accept that in a society that demands sexuality from each and every person, asexuality is undoubtedly queer. to stand in the face of a society that barrages you with sexuality and sexual imagery, innuendo and conversation almost 24/7 and say that it is not for you, or that you do not approach sexuality in the same way as it has been forced upon you is extremely queer.

cishet or not, every asexual spectrum person falls neatly into the queer community. throwing us under the bus isn't acceptable. we struggle in cisheteronormative society just as much as other queers and it's time to acknowledge and embrace that. it was safer and easier for me to talk about being a gay man than it was for me to talk about being asexual. it was easier for me to talk about being transgender than it was for me to talk about how i don't like having sex with people and don't experience sexual attraction very often and when i do, i have no plans to follow through with it unless it is to meet the other person's needs in a logical fashion.

i have been guilted and forced into sexual relationships that i did not enjoy multiple times over the years. i do not enjoy having sex with people. it's not for me. i've done it many, many times and the conclusion i come to every time is that i don't enjoy it and i come out the other side feeling worse than if i just hadn't done it at all.

i don't really experience the drive to do it in the first place, so why should i force myself to? even if i occasionally find people attractive, if i don't want to follow through on it, i shouldn't have to. nobody should have to engage with sex at all if they don't want to. sex is morally neutral, but it can be very bad for some people to interact with, and this is okay.

whether you're sex repulsed, neutral, favorable, or something else, happy international asexuality day to you! be proud to be yourself, there's no shame in being asexual or asexual spectrum. let's get rid of the stigma around aspec identities once and for all

#asexual #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #asexual spectrum #acespec #ace spectrum #ace #demisexual #grey asexual #grayace #gray ace #grey ace #gray asexual #pomosexual #quoisexual #our writing #about us #aceflux #aegosexual

[johannestevans]

Yentl: A Trans Man Studying Talmud is Distracted by Gay Thoughts

Yentl (1983, dir. Barbra Streisand) and Yentl the Yeshiva Boy by Isaac Bashevis Singer.

Any of us would be distracted from study by Mandy Patinkin. Via IMDb.

It’s a sad thing, hearing cisgender people talk about Yentl — especially the short story — and think they understand it, that they’re getting everything from it, while at the same time, they can’t conceive that transgender people even exist.

It’s a strangely joyful short story to read as a trans man, as sad and complex as it is, and the film has a similar bittersweet warmth to it.

“Yentl — you have the soul of a man.” “So why was I born a woman?” “Even Heaven makes mistakes.”

From Yentl the Yeshiva Boy, by Isaac Bashevis Singer

At the beginning of Yentl (1983), we see Barbra Streisand as the titular Yentl walking around in Yanev, ostensibly to buy groceries — including a fish — for dinner. She’s bored and distracted as the other women discuss how to study a fresh fish or how to distinguish between the different types — the bookseller is coming through town, calling out that he has novels and picture books for women and sacred books for men.

Yentl approaches the bookseller and surreptitiously takes one book from the men’s shelf, a book exploring the mysticism of creation and the similar mysticism of language that was being discussed by some yeshiva students a moment ago, and the bookseller interrupts her — “You’re in the wrong place, Miss. Books for women are over there.”

He tells her it’s the Law that women can’t study such books; she retorts, “Where is it written?”; he says, “Never mind where: it’s a Law.”

She says the book is for her father, Reb Mendel, and the bookseller finally relents, whereupon she goes home and reads the book herself.

Mendel is a widower, and although he scolds Yentl gently for not being an adept cook and tells her that studying is for men and not for women, he studies with her anyway and teaches her — it makes Yentl the subject of gossip in town, with one of Reb Mendel’s students remarking that his father says a woman who studies Talmud is a demon — it doesn’t help that Yentl is unmarried.

From the short story:

But Yentl didn’t want to get married. Inside her, a voice repeated over and over: “No!” What becomes of a girl when the wedding’s over? Right away she starts bearing and rearing. And her mother-in-law lords it over her. Yentl knew she wasn’t cut out for a woman’s life. She couldn’t sew, she couldn’t knit. She let the food burn and the milk boil over; her Sabbath pudding never turned out right, and her challah dough didn’t rise. Yentl much preferred men’s activities to women’s.

From Yentl the Yeshiva Boy, by Isaac Bashevis Singer

As a trans man, I’m always keenly aware of the things many of us cite in childhood of the first things we knew weren’t right for us and the things that were — Yentl has no skills that should be right for a woman, mentions that she cannot sew or knit or cook, and she prefers to study.

Many of us played with “boy’s toys” or took interest in “boy’s activities” instead of girl’s ones, wore “boy’s clothes” and did “boy things” — the label as to the boyishness or girlishness to most of these being arbitrary.

But Yentl’s first thought here is the rebellion in it — not only will she be forced to begin bearing children and raising them by the circumstances of her marriage, but she’ll be forced to submit to her mother-in-law’s will and orders.

In my experience as a trans man, cis men are rarely the biggest enforcers of the gender binary, nor the ones who most policed my incorrect or flawed gender expression as a child.

When cishet men do complain and correct gendered behaviour, it’s often to do with what they perceive as a desirable woman or girl being kept from them — their complaints are far more to do with dress or physical appearance because, to a cishet man, the first thing that matters in a woman is her sexual availability and her aesthetic value, particularly in regards to her sexual appeal.

Cishet women’s aggressive and virulent desire to correct what they feel are gender transgressions are more subtle than that and are far more about the deeper social value a woman holds — about her ability to cook and clean, to raise children, to exist in a space with other women, to manage the men in her life and to willingly submit to parenting adult men as if they’re also her children.

What would Yentl experience from her mother-in-law? Picks not just at her appearance but at her behaviour, her priority, and her thoughts. It’s not enough to perform gender correctly — they want you to internalise it and to be entirely beaten down with it.

All your thoughts as a cishet woman, especially in a traditional M/F marriage, should be about the men around you and their needs — sacrificing your own needs and desires should come naturally to you. A lot of cishet mothers will completely confidently say that sacrifice of the self, of personal identity, of privacy, of rest, is an integral part of motherhood, and they will become very angry at the idea that it isn’t, or that it shouldn’t be — pointing out that the same expectations are not made of fatherhood will if anything make them angrier, and they’ll say blandly that men and women are different, and refuse any further word about it.

Why are men and women different?

They just are.

Why do they have to be?

They just are.

There was no doubt about it, Yentl was unlike any of the girls in Yanev — tall, thin, bony, with small breasts and narrow hips. On Sabbath afternoons, when her father slept, she would dress up in his trousers, his fringed garment, his silk coat, his skullcap, his velvet hat, and study her reflection in the mirror. She looked like a dark, handsome young man. There was even a slight down on her upper lip.

From Yentl the Yeshiva Boy, by Isaac Bashevis Singer

Obviously, trans men and mascs’ gender shouldn’t be judged by the extent of their ability to pass, but a thing that I really like about this aspect of Singer’s short story is that it puts aside the argument of sex essentialism.

“Men and women are different, and you can tell they are different because they look different — if they were meant to be the same, why wouldn’t they look the same?”

And here, Yentl has the soul of a man, and his body is not wholly that of a woman’s and can easily be “disguised” as a man’s because it already has some men’s characteristics — tall, thin, bony, not much to the chest, without the wide, child-bearing hips people often want or expect of a cisgender woman. Once Yentl is dressed in the right clothes, she looks like a dark, handsome young man.

If men and women are truly so irrevocably different, if they are truly two sides of a wide binary with a great chasm between them, everyone would always be able to tell trans people and crossdressers and intersex people and anyone else outside or in-between from a line-up, and you can’t.

Read on Patreon / Read on Medium

#musings #yentl #barbra streisand #trans #trans man

[queer-reader-07]

crowley and aziraphale being sexy is not mutually exclusive from them being asexual. y’all do realize that, right?

i’ve seen people say “i just want them to be ace icons, they’re an old gay couple they’re not meant to be sexy!!” and while that’s well intentioned and i can see where you’re coming from, i have to disagree.

don’t get me wrong, i don’t necessarily want a sex scene in canon. i did and still do read both of them as ace. the wanting them to be ace is not the issue.

i take issue with the reasoning some people are providing. let me put this bluntly: old people can and do have sex. old straight couples have sex, old queer couples have sex. being old is not synonymous with someone not being sexually active. and it says a lot about how you all view aging and old people when you act like old people can’t get it on.

secondly, aziraphale and crowley can be sexy and also never have sex. ANYBODY can be sexy and never actually have sex. because sexy is vibe, it’s a state of mind, it’s about your physicality and the way you carry yourself. you can think someone is sexy and never want to fuck them, you can think you yourself are sexy and not go any further than that.

so yeah, crowley can look hot and sexy in his turtlenecks and waistcoats. and aziraphale can look sexy in his waistcoats and button downs. you can look at david tennant’s jawline and be enamored and you can look at michael sheen’s nose and think it’s beautiful. and they never have to actually have sex with each other for any of that to be true. sexiness does not necessitate sex.

not to mention, every time i see the “they’re an old gay couple they don’t need to be sexy!!” argument it feels very much like sanitizing queer relationships and love for the sake of cishet comfortability. too often queer people are not allowed to be sexual, or for fucks sake, not just sexual but physical with their significant others. because physical manifestations and displays of queer love make the cishet world uncomfortable. and not allowing that kind of physical love to exist in media only serves to further perpetuate the issue.

queer love and queer people don’t have to be palatable to a cishet audience. queer love should get to exist authentically and queer people should get to exist and present in however way they see fit.

and in the context of good omens i think that means letting aziraphale and crowley be sexy even if they never have sex. that means letting them be physical in their love. because queer people deserve that, especially old queer people

#i don’t even know if this makes sense but here ya go #can’t believe i (an asexual) unironically wrote ‘sexy is a state of mind’ in an otherwise serious tumblr post #anyways let aziraphale and crowley be sexy even if they never have sex #asexual aziraphale #asexual crowley #asexual aziracrow #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta