securitywaiter headcanons bc i found out about this ship an hour ago and i'm already too deep into it
-generally agreed upon but ness is DEFINITELY a conspiracy theorist. i think he was into conspiracys since he was younger, starting off with more silly ones like birds aren't real and the moon landing is fake and then getting into deeper ones with maybe a bit of a lean towards true crime. then when the local pizzeria had missing children well...
-mike takes abby to the diner for her birthday bc what can u do in a small town! they give a free slice of cake for birthdays and have the workers come around your table to sing except ness is the only one to genuinely enjoy singing it and he's also arguably got the best voice out of all the workers (or at least he does in mike's opinion)
-abby ships it. yknow how little kids are almost too observant and then proceed to say the most cryptid things?? yeah, she notices mike smiling and making more small talk with ness than with any other waiter they get and suddenly shes playing matchmaker
i'll probably have more once i let them microwave in my head a bit
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stoner!mike who feels everything 10x more when he’s high and ur both lying in bed high off ur ass post sex
he definitely does (and i feel him. i love being high and i’m out of weed 💔)
you’re both sitting outside, enjoying the sun, when mike pulls a joint from his hoodie pocket. he waves it around in the air, eyes wild with amusement.
“my favorite part of the day,” he muses, and you hum in agreement, watching with intense eyes as he lights it up and takes a nice long hit.
you pass it back and forth until you’re burning your finger on the filter, and mike scoots closer to you, all touchy-feely and begging for it.
you’re quick to usher him inside before he takes you right on the front porch, and you both run to the room giggling like teenagers.
he’s pulling your clothes off piece by piece while he kisses you, your arms wrapped his neck and shuddering at the movements on your skin.
he takes it slow, making sure you have a pillow under your head and hips, and that you’re okay throughout the whole thing. asking, “still with me?” and “doing okay?” between position changes.
he makes you feel so nice, caressing your skin and holding you close to him in missionary, whimpering and babbling about how good you feel and how much he loves you.
afterwards, when you’re covered in a thin sheen of sweat and breathing raggedly, you both think you’re higher than you were before you had sex. it’s a nice feeling, a tingle that reaches all the way to your toes.
you curl into his body, basking in his warmth and grazing your fingers over his broad chest and shoulders. he’s staring up, eyes following the ceiling fan around and around and around.
“you okay?” you mutter, placing your fingers on his chin delicately. you turn his face to yours and giggle at how high he looks. he’s absolutely gone, and you don’t mind it.
“yeah…just…more fucked up than i thought.” you hum, watching the ceiling fan with him. it emits a dull buzz, and it’s all you focus on until he speaks up again.
bzzzzzzzzzzz, bzzzzzzzzzzzz—-
“feels nice to be like this sometimes. i feel weightless. only thing i feel is you.” you kiss him on his temple. you understand; this was one of his only ways of winding down, and while you were in the same boat, you’d never know how it felt to him. you hated that he ever felt pain or stress, and wanted to take all that away.
“i’m glad you’re able to feel like that,” you whisper, and he turns his body so that he can wrap his arms around you, squeezing you into his body and instantly dozing. “you deserve it.”
cute (: sorry if this was bad lol (me: sorry if this is bad, this: *post on my blog with the most notes* (((: love you all)
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