#actuallyaudhd

[call-me-chaotic]

"hey google how do I recover from a meltdown?"

The results:

"if your child--"

"if your autistic child is having a meltdown "

"[anything by autism speaks]"

"what to do if your toddler has a tantrum"

#actuallyautistic #asd #autism #audhd #actually autistic #actually adhd #actually audhd #actuallyaudhd #adhd #autism problems

[genderqueerpositivity]

(ID: four ADHD pride flags with text; text reads "nothing about us without us", "ADHD and proud", "my ADHD brain is beautiful", and "celebrate neurodiversity".)

#actuallyadhd #adhd #actuallyaudhd #actually neurodivergent #op #genderqueerpositivity #q #neurodiversity

[grlfreak]

in a distant future, i am 34 and have known i am autistic for 5 years now. i still struggle, of course, as i always will, but things are different. i have the tools, now, the knowledge of myself, my diagnosis, all of which make me better able to handle overstimulation, stressors, changes, and feelings. i own my own home. i have a dog. i finally have a masters degree, and i am working as a psychologist/therapist. i am helping other autistic people, other youth, and lgbtq people. i feel comfortable. things are finally good.

PSA: hateful comments / reblogs will be blocked

#personal #i’m manifesting #autistic #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #actually audhd #actuallyaudhd #autistic feels #autistic women #autistic culture #autistic community #autistic adult #autistic things #autistic pride #late diagnosed autistic #being autistic #autistic experiences #autism

[angelshizuka]

I'm not a parent at all, but besides that I relate to Lucifer in basically every way.

He's the most perfect example of depressed while neurodivergent (personally headcanon him as AuDHD) and trying so hard to be "high functioning" while in reality you're falling apart inside character I've ever seen in any medium.

Depressed neurodivergent characters my beloved!

#(i hate the high and low functioning labels that's why I put it in quotation marks) #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #actuallyaudhd #actually autistic #actually adhd #actually audhd #autism #adhd #audhd #neurodivergent #depression #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #personal

[neurodiverge-aunt]

autismTM moment of the day:

an author i DMed said "happy stimming" after i requested that she post her drabble to Ao3 (she said yes!!) and for some reason i read that as a command/wish like bon appetit or Happy Easter, and i was like "thank you!! i am happy stimming!!"

#only now i realized SHE was the one stimming bc i flattered her with my request lmao #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #actually audhd #reyna's ramblings #story time

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Character Hyperfixation Talk: Cravings

[I talk about Character Hyperfixation, Maladaptive Daydreaming (potentially fictive??), Neurodivergency, and what it's like for me personally - in terms of Hobie Brown]

(Actual footage of me staring at a picture of Hobie Brown)

One of the things that happens a lot when it comes to Character Hyperfixations are cravings.

Although it's super common to get the compulsion to look into things that trigger your fixations - but with character fixations, it can be so much stronger, and even moreso - emotional when we get these cravings.

Some days its easier, for me at least. Sure, I'll still be thinking about Hobie and how much I appreciate him - but I won't need to see him.

And then there are days like today - where I experience 'cravings' for lack of a better word.

I REALLY wanna see Hobie. Like I can't stress this enough.

It's hard to describe HOW visually and mentally stimulating Hobie is to me during times like this. And although it may sound like a humorous exaggeration, I do genuinely feel the urge to stare at these photos, and to focus on nothing but them.

During these times, pictures of Hobie, or watching his scenes are extra stimulating to me, and they can make me excited or just really happy. Like seeing someone you grew up with come home from the military - literally that mental and physical response.

Sometimes I can feel it in my body, like a light or happy feeling in my chest.

The details draw me in more - even small unnoticable details, or ones that don't matter at all.

For me, this only really works if it's art OF Hobie - as in direct screenshots of the movie. And although I love fanart - only 'Actual' Hobie helps the urge any.

Today, this photo was particularly interesting to me.

For small details like the shading on his ears - the three different shades of brown they use. Or the shading of the tendon in his neck. I wanna touch it. Or the studs on the back of his jacket and how realistically they're placed. Or his eye color which we don't get to see often. The lighting of the orange light so close is GREAT and the earring-

I can go on and on.

It's not like this everyday - though I do have to look at Hobie and set aside time for daydreaming everyday.

But cravings are also really hard to satisfy.

Photos help, and videos too. But, to understand where I'm coming for, I have to explain that there is a fully-formed Hobie in my mind. As in a whole personality, independent of a lot of my control.

He exists in his own detailed space. He tells me what he wants about his character, and if I don't know something, it feels more like not knowing a fact that you know exists (like not knowing how tall a celebrity but knowing they have to have a height) vs a creator who can't think up a detail to give a character.

If I don't know Hobie's favorite color - I can't just decide it's purple. I have to ask him. And if I decide something without asking him, it feels wrong.

Sometimes he may tell me an answer I don't like - too bad. He said what he said, and because he's independent enough in my psyche and daydreams to do that, I have to deal with it.

The photos and videos I watch will never exactly replicate the form of Hobie inside of me, so they'll always be a sense of longing there, so long as I can't be in the same room with him - which NOT POSSIBLE.

So cravings are moreso a feeling of longing that with character hyper-fixations that you kinda have to wait to pass.

If you're lucky, maybe the form or fixation in your head is fully formed enough to comfort you on this front, or if you can daydream them vividly enough that can help. But it's never fully gone until it passes.

A lot of time I can't tell how much of a 'Daydream' it is.

I know what's reality and what's in my head - I just don't know how much of it I'm consciously coming up with.

Because a lot of times I don't feel in control. Sometimes Hobie will do or tell me something that surprises me, or that I kinda feel iffy about. Or Diane will have an emotional response that..I be like 'girl...'

Recently I even had Hobie introduce me to another character, who can talk to me directly. He chose to do this. For a long time I wanted to meet his character - his MJ - but Diane was scared, and Hobie was hesitant. So she wasn't in the picture.

But then yesterday Diane and Hobie rushed through a couple daydreams showing Diane growing emotionally through a dark time, and then boom, Hobie is like okay i think its time and suddenly his MJ is there, basically fully formed, her relationship already pretty solidified and defined.

Without me doing anything. Like I'm just sitting there like I'm sitting in the middle of a room at a party with people talking at me.

Whatever they are, the forms seem to have distinct personalities, wants, emotions, and feelings about each other. And towards me too????

Yesterday Hobie and Diane were extremely quiet. Okay, so I asked them what was up and they showed me all that stuff with Diane that was pretty heavy. Makes sense why they were so quiet.

But then today, Diane is like 'I miss Hobie, I want to see Hobie. Let me be with him-' a.k.a hey go daydream I got stuff to do.

And in doing so - I don't know if it's me craving Hobie so she does as a reflection of my behavior cause she's not independent or real or idk if she wants time with him because yesterday she didn't get a lot of time with him even though I was fine not daydreaming a lot yesterday, only curious - SO I'm???????????? HUH??????

And now MJs here and that's another person 'on the houseboat' where they live AND ITS A LOT

Anyway. That's me ranting and talking about hyperfixation cravings and daydreams and the gang doing things realll suddenly and yeah.

If you relate to any of these experience ID LOVE TO HEAR like if you experience cravings or if you have daydreams, if the people in them are independent/can do things you dont want etc etc

Bye.

#atsv #hobie brown #neurodivergency #neurodivergent #actually adhd #actuallyaudhd #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #madd #fictives #sysblr #systems #ADHD #autism #AuDHD #hyperfixation #hyperfixations

[wlfgrrl]

#ADHD #ActuallyADHD #neurodiversity #ND #story of my life #AuDHD #ActuallyAuDHD #actually neurodivergent #unconventionalorganisation

[parasocial-work]

i made a feels wheel!

link to the actual resource here

oh god I hope it works and helps someone out there somewhere

#actuallyautistic #EmotionalIntelligence #mentalhealth #actuallyaudhd #livedexperience #depression #anxiety #Youtube

[romeomahbromeo]

i love you chewlery i love you noise cancelling headphones i love you pomodoro method i love you personal accommodations that help me function as an adult with audhd

#audhd #autism #adhd #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #actuallyaudhd #neurodivergent

[truly-fantastic-me]

Life Hack if you're a read/write neurodivergent person like me: if any other adulting is way too much for you, have a book on life skills, career help, or any other adulting advice book and read it for as long (or not as long) as you want. Take some notes. I'd recommend citing them, even if it's just the book name and author. This helps with gaining knowledge on skills so you can practice them later on when you do have the energy to adult. Or do the Thing™ while reviewing your notes.

#actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #actuallyneurodivergent #this could also be for anyone else who finds use eith it

[genderqueerpositivity]

(ID: two glittery ADHD pride flags, one has a white butterfly symbol in the center)

#adhd #actuallyadhd #actuallyaudhd #op #genderqueerpositivity #actually neurodivergent #q

[grlfreak]

i wish i wasn't audhd (autistic + adhd)... (cw: mention of SH involved meltdowns)

i wish i didn't hit my head when i'm upset. i wish i didn't punch my legs, slap my legs, hit my head, scratch, or bite myself when i'm in a meltdown. i wish my head didn't feel as if it were about to explode or that i need to do this to regulate my brain.

i wish i had a brain that wasn't so strict with deadlines, so rigid with rules, so tightly wound with expectations that if they aren't met, i wouldn't fly into an uncontrollable mess of emotions.

i wish i could have a brain that conceptualized things better. one that would make my parents proud, rather than irritated with me for a lack of "self control". i can't save money to save my life, i can't seem to keep a good routine, i can't lose weight (because i can't seem to eat healthy), i can't keep my apartment clean, etc.

i am a mess of a human being.

i'm supposed to be an adult and yet i mostly act like a toddler. i will scream and cry if my brain doesn't get what it wants immediately. people are constantly angry with me or irritated with me or upset with me over what feels like the most tedious minutiae of tasks, like sending a text "too early" or being "too demanding".

i'm too much to handle.

i'm so fucking tired of it. i just want to be normal. i'm tired. anyone who thinks people want to be autistic is kidding themselves.

#personal #cw: internalized ableism #cw: ableism #cw: meltdowns #cw: SH #cw: self harm #cw: vent #venting #autistic #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #actually autism #actually adhd #actuallyaudhd #actually audhd #adult audhd #audhd problems #audhd things #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism

[seroqueldreamer]

Cw; Breakups, suicidal thoughts.

What have I learned from this breakup so far?

My mental illness is a burden to others I care about. I am not allowed to fall apart without telling someone first. I shouldn't rely on people if I am going through something difficult. Without the intent to, I hurt people I love and inadvertently manipulate a situation into my favor.

I will always have "a lot" going on, but it's also due to the current living situation I am in. And it's stressful, it's depressing, it's something I can't change unless I leave the environment, which financially, is entirely not possible. I'm stuck.

I wanted to kill myself. I still want to kill myself. I lost 2 partners, and a person I thought was my friend because I was dealing with mental illness by myself and have PTSD and trauma from previous relationships in the past with people I thought I could trust and was hurt.

I won't pretend I don't know what I did. I know ghosting people was fucked. Especially my partners. And especially for 3 weeks. But how do you tell someone that you love and care about, "hey, I am heavily dissociating and daydreaming about killing myself when I'm not dissociating."? especially when you can't identify the trigger as to why those feelings happened.

I'm not sure. Mentally I'm doing better-ish. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. I'm on medications to manage my mental health, I'm trying to be better.

But it's hard. And scary. Especially going at it with a really small support network and continuing trauma. But I'm trying, I'm learning, I'm putting in the work, I'm getting help. Thank god it's free.

#personal #stardust update #tw suicide #cw: breakups #depression #actuallyaudhd #insomia #anxiety #PTSD #trust issues #dedicated to that one bitchass comic that sent me into a spiral!

[unholybinchicken]

shout out to all my fellow autistic and adhd homies who can’t perform neurotypicality today for whatever reason

#actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #actuallyaudhd #mentally ill

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I vibe with hyperfixating w/ characters. To varying degrees I’ve fixated on: Armin from AOT for a while, 1D had a DEATH GRIP on me for a few years, (SEVEAL book characters through my teen years)I had an Alucard from castlevania fixation for maybe 3 ish years (‘ending’ only recently) and now Hobes lives in my head rent free ngl.

I get the “being sad cuz you can’t meet them” part, I’ve felt it. I try to not daydream TOO much cuz otherwise it takes over my life and I’m doing a considerable effort to live OUT of my own head, but BOI do I LOVE just daydreaming about my blorbos of choice.

I don’t speak too much about it (mostly the daydreaming) cuz to an extent it feels like a “me thing” (like something I don’t wanna share with anyone cuz it’s special to me), but if given the chance I DO info dump on my fixations.

I don’t think it’s cringe, not at all. These things are stuff that helps us process the world and our experiences with it. I believe everyone has sensitive weird shit that they don’t talk about, but if there’s something Ive learned is that we hardly ever have completely unique experiences. Most people just hide their oddness. Fandom being a prime example of how much our blorbos can mean to us. I think it’s okay and normal. (Until it goes overboard and people send idk violent messages to others because they headcanon something differently idk, the unreasonable stuff imo)

Can’t believe our of everything people would dare to make JOY and INTEREST the things with negative connotations. Being mean should be cringe, being a bully should be embarrassing. But unashamedly enjoying stuff?? That’s wonderful.

Anyone too embarrassed of their own vulnerability that they deal with it by making others feel bad about their interests are the most immature out if all of us.

Joy is everything that’s good with the world.

Even just seeing the letter 1D makes me wanna scream (in a good way!!) cause it takes me back to high school lol 1D was a bit older than me so my grade had Mindless Behaviour (does anyone remember them, where they even popular) but I remember the days where 1D was like the definition of summer songs

And I can totally understand the 'me thing'. Like I never really spoke about it but I felt like I knew my daydreams were more substantial or vivid than the 'average person' so to say.

Or when I spoke about characters to other people, I understood that neurotypicals likes characters, but they often didn't see them as fully formed 'persons' in the way I do - as to say, they didn't speculate or see emotional backstory, connections, or their behavior the way I did.

I never really shared any of my daydreams because like - I can't even get into it that's like asking someone to explain Star Wars to someone who doesn't even know space travel exists.

I grew up in a time on the internet where self-inserts and OC were seen as cringe, and someone would be very quick to call out 'Mary-Sue's (or flawless OCs) whenever they could.

It's not like that now - but in juxtaposition to canon x canon shipping, that bias is still there I feel like. Like it, as a work of fandom art has less 'value' that art or fics of canon only characters

It kinda bums me out still.

I think OC and daydreams and self-indulgent inserts are all the best part of fandom because it's the purest way of fans connecting with content on a personal level.

I'm happy that I see more people pushing back on that lately. Like after years of seeing people viciously hate furries when most of them seem like very nice, fun people, it's refreshing for people to be like 'nah, actually this thing is cool. and im gonna spend of time and/or money on this thing cause i makes me happy;

like you remember when the new Star Wars movie trailers came out and that dude reacted to it and he was moved to tears and people made fun of him??

yeah fuck everyone else that dude knows whats up.

Like yes, openly cry to your faves. Fantasize deep meaningful daydreams that help you process your feelings. Draw your OC with them, or learn every single thing their is to know about them.

That's why I wanted to talk about this. Because I've never heard it spoken about before. Maladaptive daydreaming, yes - and that can be harmful. But I hardly ever hear people talk about the basic mundane experience of it - or even how it can enrich our lives and help us emotionally develop of neurodivergent people.

When I think of it that way, it's something that makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe it fully, and that's the point. Our stories are private to us, not because theyre embarrassing, but because they're so us that to even describe it would like describing a new world top to bottom

I love it. It's what makes humans humans.

#Thank you for this!!! Reading this is like living on planet Earth for once like yess!!! You get it!! #neurodivergency #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #actuallyadhd #adhd #autism #audhd #character fixations #hyperfixations #cringe culture

[neurodiverge-aunt]

that adhd feel of chewing a pencil surrounded by brain fog like an film noir detective with a cigarette

#actuallyadhd #actually adhd #actuallyaudhd #actually audhd #this post came to me in a vision #a brain fog induced vision to be exact #reyna's ramblings