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lulupen2023 · 1 year

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My very first BellDom Fic 18/23

awww, thanks for the hearts here and there *O* If you're reading, I hope you're laughing special thank youuu to the lovely chaoticbebop , also for the kudos on ao3, it means sooo much to me *O*

Summary:

Do you want to meet a Matthew who sees conspiracy everywhere (oh wait, this is not big news!) and is so fond of his trolley that he treats it like a sort of puppy? Do you want to meet a Dominic in love with… himself (and with Matt, too, of course!)? And do you want to meet a Chris who wants to prove to the world he's the most masculine guy ever… but is unavoidably attracted by every… female hobby? This is what you'll find in this story, among lots of BellDom and… craziness!

Summary of the chapter: Matt and Dom need a good plan…

Notes:

Warning: Lots of fluff and crazy stuff (Uh! I made it rhyme, lol!)

Chapter XVIII: From Number Fifty-Seven!

WHAT'S THE WORST THAT I CAN SAY?

THINGS ARE BETTER IF I STAY

Matthew sings a cappella, at the end of their show, as he waves his hand and invites the crowd to do the same and also to sing along with him, at the Jobing.com Arena, the new tour date.

SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT, SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT

The crowd sings back as loud as they can, waving their hands even more than him, but for the frontman is not enough yet.

AND IF YOU CARRY ON THIS WAY

THINGS ARE BETTER IF I STAY

SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT, SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT

Matthew incites them with the second verse and this time the crowd sings along with him since the beginning.

Chris observes the whole scene dumbfounded, wondering which evil entity has possessed his friend to make him do such a thing.

Anyway, when he sees that Dominic seems to be very pleased by that and he is even laughing about it, he hopes that the drummer will promptly clarify things to him.

"Enjoy the rest of the show with My Chemical Romance! Thank you, Phonenix, see ya soon. Cheers!" Matthew greets the crowd, going towards the backstage as the other two follow him.

"I can't still believe I did that damn thing for real!" the singer comments, horrified.

"A payback is a payback!" Dominic states.

"Yeah, but it's unfair, I didn't even damage them at the show in Salt Lake City, at the very end; quite the contrary, people thought it was a joke and enjoyed that, laughing with them, not at them, as I wished!" Matt complains.

It's enough for the two lovers to see Chris's still confused face to understand what his question is, even before he asks them.

"Matt got the My Chemical Romance's guitars out of tune at the last show, that's why you heard that terrible noise at the beginning." Dom explains shortly as he glares at Matt.

"Yeah, and Mr. Fair here forced me to tell them the truth." Matt goes on, glaring back at Dom.

"Yeah, and the band looked for their more than deserved revenge. So they forced Matt to get the crowd ready for their arrival, singing a little bit of one of their most famous hits!" Dom concludes, glaring at Matt once again.

"So, that was one of *their* songs! I thought it was a new work in progress of yours and you hadn't told me about that. After all, you have the bloody tendency to hide so much stuff to me!" Chris strikes back as he glares at them both.

"Oh, c'mon, we told you everything at the end, didn't we? And we could never work on something new without letting you know about that!" Matthew assures him.

"Yep, except for the geezers' song." escapes from Dom's lips.

"Dominic! Damn you and your bloody mouth!" Matt snaps.

"Hey! If memory serves me right, yesterday you didn't complain at all about my bloody mouth!" Dom reminds to his boyfriend, making him blush.

Also Chris goes red... but with rage.

"What? Are you still working on that horror?" he roars.

"Can we just forget about the last minute and start it over again?" Dom attempts to ask them.

"No way!" Matt and Chris yell at him in unison.

"If only I had my time-machine!" the drummer mutters.

"Oh, c'mon, Chris, let's make a deal: you can work on a project on your own and Dom and I won't say a word!" the frontman tries to bargain.

"Don't you even try, Bells! Just abandon once for all this suicidal idea, you'll never make it! I'll warn every single recording studio in the world not to let you in, if I'm not with you; and if I see you two try something funny during one of our shows I'm gonna intervene, *violently* if necessary!" Chris threatens them and it works, of course.

"Ok, I got the message. " Matt ruefully surrenders.

"Gee, Chris, why do you have to be always such a pain in the ass? Plus, you're way too bloody serious!" Dominic snorts.

"I'm not serious, I'm just normal... but I can't say the same about you two!" the bassist defends himself. "And don't forget that Ricky from IV A is the coolest guy of the High School because he looks like me a little bit!" he adds before leaving, as he proudly remembers the diaries he read at Salt Lake City.

This time it's Dom and Matt who look dumbfounded, but they just decide to ignore that.

Plus, Dominic has something else to worry about.

"Sorry, Matt, I didn't do it on purpose..." he backs off prudently.

"But you did. When it's a matter to keep a secret you're worst than a gossiper!" Matt scolds him.

"You're right. I've been such a bad boy. I need a punishment." Dominic reckons.

"Yep, you do, so..." Matt agrees, but then he realizes the way the blond is looking at him. "Gee, Dom! You can't always turn everything into bloody sex! This is a serious issue!" he protests.

"But I'm bloody serious. Punish me!" Dom insists.

"Well, it doesn't work this way!" Matt grumbles.

"Why?"

"Because you don't look like someone who is gonna be punished." Matt makes him notice as he approaches him, still showing a serious and stern face.

"How do I look like then?" the drummer asks him, curious.

"Like someone who's gonna have a lot of fun!" the other strikes back

"Oh. And tell me, aint't so?" the blond wonders rhetorically as he resorts to his unfailing weapon.

As a matter of fact, Matt's harsh expression is replaced by a sexy smile.

"Damn you and your irresistible pout! Let's go to our room, can't wait to *punish* you!" the brunette growls as he drags his lover away with him.

---------------------------------------------------

Since he has found at the Salt Lake City airport a handbook of crochet-hook that answered even to his deepest inquisitions, after buying it and hiding it from his friends, two days later, at Los Angeles, Chris can finally take advantage of that. He knows that he can dedicate some time to his beloved hobby without being disturbed.

Mostly because Dominic and Matthew have something else to do.

They're lying on the bed, placidly, taking advantage not only of the free morning, but of the free day at their whole disposal.

Matthew is searching around the web at random, with his laptop on his lap as he takes notes on his Hello Kitty notebook about the potential changes of their playlists.

Dom looks at him absently, since he's all engrossed in listening to his iPod.

He wishes with all his being that Matt had not the brilliant idea of tugging on an earphone and listening to the music with him, because no matter how tender that gesture would be, Matt would end up listening to something he violently dislikes; since it's one of My Chemical Romance's songs and, maybe for a trick of fate, it's just the one he had to sing a cappella at the end of their last show.

Luckily for Dom, Matt doesn't seem interested at all in joining to that listening. Out of the blue, the blond starts caring less about the music and more about his mate who is drawing doodles around the pink, tied ribbon of the kitten with the date of January 20th above.

Suddenly realization hits them both.

"Tomorrow it's a whole week since we've been shagging like rabbits!" Dom exclaims.

"Tomorrow it's a whole month since we've kissed for the very first time!" Matt exclaims at the same time, but that doesn't prevent them from hearing each other.

"Oh, what you said is much more romantic!" Dom recognizes with a sweet smile.

"But what you said is much more exciting!" Matt replies with a horny look.

"So, tomorrow we'll have a double important occasion to celebrate. We have to get ready pwopewly." the brunette goes on.

"A private party?" the blond realizes with an expectant look.

"Yep, a very, very private one, my dear!" the other confirms.

"But tomorrow we have the show!" Dom reminds to him. "So, how..."

"We have all day long to find a way to escape right after the show!" the singer winks at him.

"You're right. By the way, since it's almost midday, can we finally open the window or what?" Dom changes topic.

"Already? Why? Dark rooms with switched on lamps are so nice, even better if the lamps are replaced by candles." Matt protests.

"Well, unlike you, my dear vampire, I happen to like the sun!" Dom strikes back as he pulls the curtains and opens the window. "Now we can start. You know, I plan better in the sunlight!" he grins, as he bathes in the sunlight.

Too bad that his boyfriend is still busy recording in his brain his previous sentence.

"Vampire?" he repeats as a question.

"To begin with, you're so pale..."

"Said the Californian surfer!" Matt strikes back, sarcastically.

"Well, at least I have sunlamps sometimes... whatever! That's not the point! Back to what I was telling you, you always lurk in the shadows and you seem to be much more active at night ... almost as if you spent the day recharging your batteries... just like vampires do!" Dom goes on.

"But I don't recharge my batteries sleeping in a coffin!" the brunet points out.

"Well, this is irrelevant. Plus, sometimes you can be so, so evil. Just think about what you did to those poor, dear guys on stage!" Dominic reminds to him.

"What about what *they* did to *me*? Wasn't it evil as well?" Matt makes him notice.

"Nope, that was just fair!" the blond clarifies, before he starts staring at him with diffidence. "Hey, wait a minute. How can I be sure that you don't eat food just for cover?" Dom insinuates as he starts enjoying that a lot.

"I'm not a vampire, Dom! Quit it, bloody quit it!" a fiery Matt snaps.

"You said 'bloody ' which reminds to blood. So, you do are a vampire! You... you... VladyMatt!" Dom strikes back, enlightened.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Matt roars.

"But it's what you are. And you're even growling now, just like a proper vampire. VladyMatt, VladyMatt, VladyMatt!" Dom insisted, amused as a child who has just discovered the funniest game ever.

"If you don't quit it I'll call you SpiderDom!" the brunette says, thinking that he's threatening him.

"Oh, please, do it. I like that!" the blond reveals.

"What? That's not fair. You weren't supposed to like that..." his boyfriend pouts.

"But I really do and I'll tell you what. We should dress up like these characters when we... you know!" the drummer suggests.

"Really?" the guitarist wonders, very intrigued.

After all, Dominic doesn't know that he has been thinking about that eventuality for awhile.

"Yep. You should get a black and red velvet cape and talk to me with Transylvanian accent... that would turn me on so bad!" the blond whispers at his ear, as the brunette shivers in pleasure.

"Sounds bloody good. So, can I also tell you what to do?" Matt purrs at his ear, but Dom pushes him away.

"No way! You can't tell me anything. After all, SpiderDom has already captured VladyMatt in his web, hasn't he?" he moans languidly as he lies down on the bed and with his look invites his partner to join him.

"Hell yes, he has!" the other smiles, as he crawls slowly on his giggling lover and places a tender chaste kiss on his soft lips. "Now, Dommy, get ready, because I'm gonna show you how much *active* I can be even during the day!" he warns him, before they both vent to their endless desire.

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"Please, repeat. You are going to do... WHAT?!" Chris exclaims, so stunned that the titbit of steak that he took with his fork falls inexorably on the plate, along with the fork.

"Just what we said. Tomorrow, after the show, we're going to escape and go celebrate our first week sexually together!" Dom explains to him again, with a wide grin at the thought.

"And also our first month since our very first kiss!" Matt adds, grinning as well.

"That's why we need our time to celebrate." Dom states, as he cuts his fillet.

"The more time we have, the better. That's why we need to skip the fans' time, although there will be just a few people, since we're not the headliner here!" Matt retorts as he makes the red wine spin around his glass, slowly and widely, before sipping it.

"But you usually adore fans' time... both of you!" Chris makes them notice.

"Yep, but not tomorrow!" Dominic remarks.

"Oh, c'mon, all they ask for is a bunch of minutes to spend with us..." the bassist insists.

"Well, tomorrow all the bunch of minutes I have will be just and only at my Dom's disposal and there's no fan who can make me change my mind!" Matthew states resolutely.

"Gee, you're so mean!" Chris grumbles.

"Well, after all I'm VladyMatt, am not I?" the frontman sneers, glancing at the drummer.

"So, you do like it at the very end!" the blond figures out, enthusiastically.

"Yes, I admit I do... but just a little!" the brunet confesses.

Chris has no idea what they're babbling about, as he keeps turning his head to one and then to the other, as if he was watching a tennis match.

"How did you just call yourself and why?" he asks Matt. "No, wait. On second thought, I don't wanna know!" he corrects himself a few seconds later.

"Oh, c'mon, Chris, think about the positive side of the situation: if Matt and I are out of the game, you'll get all the fans' attention!" Dom makes him notice.

"Uh! Well, I hadn't thought about that..." the bassist answers, delighted by that idea, but then he jumps to another conclusion. "Are you hinting that I'll get all the fans' attention just because I'm the only one left? Have you mistaken me for a stopgap?" he wonders, insulted.

"No, never! How can you think such a terrible thing? You rule, you're awesome, you're great. Does Matt have to dedicate another song to you in order to convince you of that?" Dom replies.

"Nope. One is enough. Ok, I believe you. Just what am I supposed to say if some fans ask me why you're not there?" Chris asks them.

"Uhmm. Maybe you could tell them that our girlfriends made us a nice surprise and joined us during this date of the tour, so we want to spend as much time as we can with them." Dominic suggests.

"We couldn't be more liar than that!" Matthew shakes his head.

"So? Do you have a better idea, maybe?" Dom asks him.

"I'm not saying that I don't agree!" the other points out.

"So, Chris, we can trust you, can't we?" Dom needs confirmation.

"Yep, but don't you dare complain if from tomorrow on all our fans will ditch you to spend their time with me!" Chris smirks.

"One more thing; Tom will never know about it, promise to me!" Matthew asks as he can already picture in his mind a never ending lecture from their manager.

"Oh, Matty, now we have to find the perfect plan to escape tomorrow!" Dom incites him.

"Why? Haven't you thought about it in the morning?" Chris asks them.

"Oh, no, we've spent the whole morning..." the blond informs him, but Chris immediately stops him, raising his hand.

"Please, shut up, this is another thing I absolutely don't wanna know!" he clarifies, before he leaves the room and after awhile also the other two follow his example.

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Saying that he needs his space sometimes, Dom spends the afternoon hanging around the town, going shopping, but mostly staring at himself from every shop-window Los Angeles has to offer him.

Matthew agrees without any problem, also because he has a pretty busy afternoon to deal with.

This was the fifth travel Dom made with Pinkie, so now his rightful owner has finally taken possession of his beloved trolley again.

He goes towards the bedroom, holding some tubes of red glitter and a set of golden wheels, ready to celebrate its return in the way he had promised to it.

He takes it from the closet, very carefully, and places it on an armchair.

"C'mon, Pinkie, let's get the party started!" he announces and the most worrying thing is that he's pretty sure that he's not just talking to himself!

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After they had their dinner, Chris stays in the hall, entertaining himself with the barmen and some of the customers of the hotel, as Matthew and Dominic come back to their room.

The blond opens a drawer and takes a scratch pad and a blue felt-tip pen, as he starts writing 'Escape'.

No, they're not restudying that famous song of the Showbiz era.

As they have already decided, they're just plotting their way of escape.

Instead of writing, the brunette prefers drawing.

"So, we are these two.. " Matthew explains as he sketches in a very childish way two guys who are holding their hands, with a little heart in the middle.

"Aawww!" the blond melts down.

"And this is the Arena..." Matt goes on, turning page and drawing a circle with lots of rays that symbolize the several exits, but then he realizes that Dom isn't even looking at him anymore.

Following his gaze, he realizes what has drawn his attention so much.

"Gee, Dom, stop staring the sketch about us!" he reprimands him.

"I can't, you made me gorgeous even in this drawing!" the other states.

"Oh, c'mon, you don't even know which one is you!" the frontman teases him.

"Hell yeah I do, I'm the one on the left. To begin with, he's the taller one." he explains, turning the sketch towards Matt in order to make him see it better. "Then, the one on the right has crazier hair, see?" he goes on, snatching the felt-tip pen from his lover's hand and adding spiky and messy hair on the sketched out guy on the right. "And finally, didn't you notice that? The one on the left is holding drumsticks!" he concludes, drawing said drumstick in the guy on the left's free hand.

And then he admires his artwork very pleased.

"Dom, you're impossible!" Matt rolls his eyes.

"Well, we were plotting, weren't we?" the blond changes topic.

"Yeah..." the other replies, turning pages again. "So, these are the exits... how are we supposed to leave?" he wonders. "And please, don't you even try to name your bloody time-machine!" he summons him immediately after.

"Ok, also because the time-machine wouldn't help this time. C'mon, let's concentrate, we need an idea, a very good one!" Dom comments.

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"For the last time, Matthew, no, no, and fucking NO!" Dom snaps after more than three quarters an hour of the brunette's impracticable suggestions.

"But why? It would be genial!" the other protests.

"It's impossible. We can't have a sort of spaceship and take off directly from the stage. We can't have the damned space skateboards you would also like to use at Wembley. And, mostly, there's no bloody, damn, sodding paralyzing ray that we can use on the crowd!" Dom explains to him, not very patiently.

"It would be so fun!" Matthew sighs unhappily and then he concentrates on the sketch of the Arena again, with the blond.

"Well, I bet that everyone expects us to get out from the exit number One... " Matt starts reckoning seriously.

"Or from the last one. It also would make sense." Dom adds and the other nods, before realization hits him.

"Let's go out from number Fifty-Seven!" the brunet exclaims.

"Why just from number Fifty-Seven?" Dom asks him.

"Because no one expects that. Plus, it's far from both of the main exits. It's a number like the others, nothing special. So, as everyone will wait for us at the main exits..."

"We'll escape from number Fifty-Seven! Yeah, that's brilliant!" Dominic rejoices.

"I'm sure it will work!" the other smiles.

"I think so, too. So, now that we made our plans... can I resume staring at my sketched out version?" the blond asks him eagerly and Matt is just too worn out to complain, so he lets his boyfriend do as he pleases.

TBC

What can I say? All the stuff involving VladyMatt and the infamous Number Fifty-Seven comes from the Muse Show at Verona in 2007, more specifically from all the absurdities my friends and I babbled about on our way back (but VladyMatt popped out from my degenerated mind... and I'm scarily proud of that, lol!)

Of course, I preferred to meet the dear guys instead of receiving this mad inspiration, but... whatever, lol!

Well, in case you didn't notice, I have a thing for Vampire! Matt... but you can't know, not here, at least, I've never posted 'Just a little bit' here ...

You know, I guess this is one of my favourite chapters of the whole fic, so I really, really hope you'll like it! ;)

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eolewyn1010 · 2 years

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Today's Dracula comment in parts again, 1/2:

Let's open with some Victorian racism! Jack thinks he can judge from Jonathan's face that Jonathan is an uncommonly clever man. Phrenology or physiognomy or whatever; I wish they would stop that. Anyway, Jonathan tags along to the asylum and joins Mina; Jack later hears them in their room- *spit take* "They are hard at it"??? Jack, don't listen in on them, you perv, they are newlyweds! ...oh, wait, he means typewriting. What an exciting honeymoon. Mina is doing Matt Kirkland's work, putting all events down chronologically. Also, relations are finally deduced! Mina, you brilliant mind. Jack even realizes that Dracula hiding next door explains some of Renfield's behavior. Renfield is all calm and sunshine for now and has some normal conversation with Doc, even proposing the idea of being discharged sometime soon. Jack is pretty dismayed that Renfield might begin to think! No, he really put it that way. The horror.

Meanwhile, Jonathan has been tracking down boxes full of dirt. He has also inherited Jack's and Mina's thesaurus syndrome; who says "paucity"? He learns how dusty and creepy exactly the dusty, creepy mansion is that he acquired for Dracula and is pretty relieved that none of the boxes - and thereby no sleeping vampire in them - has gotten lost. Mina is happy that he's doing so well, all clear, busy, and determined as he hasn't been since the sanatorium stint. Which makes her "wild with excitement". I mean, fair. They are newlyweds. Still, Mina meets Lucy's half of the polycule, and Quincey goes on a walk much more subtly than Jack did so Arthur can pour out his heart to Mina, about Lucy and his grief. "Without it feeling derogatory to his manhood", as Mina notes. Why is everyone talking about Arthur's manhood? The scene of them grieving together could be pretty sweet and emotional of Stoker wasn't determined to squick me out; he just has to give Mina a maternal role in this and compare Arthur to a baby. He's probably older than Mina, just saying. What would be so wrong about them just being friends? I can't with this book's idea of ideal femininity.

When the crying is done and Arthur has basically sworn eternal loyalty to Mina (I mean, valid), she runs into Quincey once more who asks about Arthur. I'd think that is sweet, too, if there weren't more bullshit about how only a woman may truly comfort someone. And if he wouldn't call her a "little girl" after she has kissed him and he's pledged his friendship, just as with Lucy before. Mina, that isn't cute! It's inappropriate and gross! Right after the maternal bullshit, she's gotta be infantilized? I just... Onward!

Jack shows back up when everyone is up to their ears in studying collected evidence materials. Of course, Mina has the same effect on him as on the rest of the dude squad, making him feel at home and prompting him to describe her as wonderful ad pretty. And so, the polycule lives on. Mina, the weird little nerd, asks to talk to Renfield to find out how exact his Dracula radars are. Renfield is not opposed to meeting her, but he wants to tidy up his cell first. By swallowing all of his flies and spiders at one go. Okay, this made me cackle.

#Dracula Daily #I'm getting sick of Stoker's sermons on women

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farfromstrange · 1 year

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Foreigner's God | m.m

Previous Chapter ° Series Masterlist

Chapter Forty-Four: Cold As You

Summary: Eliza searches for answers in the one person she thought she would never have to see again, but she is desperate to figure out what is going on with her mind. Breaking into SHIELD proves harder than planned and she finds herself with more decisions to make than she wanted, and finally hits back at the man who ruined her life.

Warnings: ANGST, nightmare, panic attack, blood, emotional hurt/comfort, attempt at humor, bad legal talk, Infinity War & Endgame spoilers, allusions to child molestation, mentions of past mental manipulation and torture, mentions of suicide, mentions of sex (but nothing explicit), fixing the Karen erasure by giving her a time to shine

A/n: I'm back at it with the angst. It's been a while since I've written something darker, so I'm finally making my big ANGST comeback because it is written in capital letters and we all know what that means... take the warnings seriously, please. Also, this only has like 9,000 words. I managed to get under 10,000?? That is new for me and I'm kind of proud of myself for keeping this on the shorter end. Have fun reading! (Also, thank you all for your support! It really means the world to me and I can't wait to continue this story with you all)

She was trapped in the circle again. The crystals around her drove in circles around her, offering no point of escape. What were they trying to tell her? They were speaking a language she didn’t recognize, voices only she could hear inside her head. They kept getting louder like a swarm of bees in her eyes, or the flapping of million of flies’ wings.

She pressed her hands to her temples, trying to keep her head upright, but the noise only kept getting louder and louder and louder to the point she felt as if she was about to explode. Her brain couldn’t comprehend the pictures she saw, the blue and purple galaxy around her, and the voices that were familiar yet so strange.

Out of the fog, a familiar face appeared. “Matt?” she asked. His picture was getting clearer now.

The stones wouldn’t let her through. She was forced to watch in horror as his limbs turned to dust and he fell to his knees, disappearing into the floor. He was swept away by the universe.

“No,” she slapped a hand in front of her mouth, “This can’t be real. This isn’t real.”

Beginning to slap her cheeks, she squeezed her eyes shut to somehow escape the hell she was trapped in. But as soon as she did, she was falling again, and this time the ground seemed too far out of reach. She was free falling to her death. She wished she could turn to dust like the man she loved, it would make the suffering worthwhile, but she was alive and she was forced to see what her existence meant. Destruction, chaos, blood, and death.

She was caught in a time loop, it seemed, where she had to watch her friends and family living and dying. The same thing happened over and over again, in different places and different colors. The lines across the universe broke apart with every picture she saw, the stones traveling the same distance she was falling.

She had to watch the man she loved die over and over again, in all kinds of cruel ways. Every time she tried to reach for the open hole in the galaxy to save him, another gush of wind made her fall even faster. She could scream his name as many times as she wanted to, but he continued dying with every flashing picture, and she couldn’t stand it anymore. She was crying. She couldn’t lose him anymore, she couldn’t watch him turn to dust over and over again; she just needed this hell to stop.

Eventually, though, she accepted her fate. And when she opened her eyes, the stones exploded into a thousand tiny pieces and she finally hit the same mirror she had once broken. The galaxy broke apart, holes were torn into the sky, red clouding her vision, and she woke up with a loud gasp, trying to get the lost air into her lungs.

Distraught, her arms flailed wildly to get rid of the suffocating touch on her arm. “Sweetheart,” Matt’s voice reached through to her. He wasn’t dead, although it felt as if she was dreaming once again. He would turn to dust if she touched him, she was sure of that.

Dust… why dust?

“Baby. Baby, look at me!”

She was panting, eyes switching between the wall and the door. What if someone came in to hurt them, but they would leave her and killed him instead? Just to hurt her, they would kill him. It would be her fault.

She jumped out of bed, hands at the ready to fight whatever enemy would come their way. She wasn’t quite present yet, and no matter how cold the floor felt under her feet, reality only seeped in agonizingly slowly and kept the alarms in her head burning brightly. The sound made it impossible for her to hear anything.

Matt sat on the bed, his hair disheveled, and his sightless eyes pointed somewhere at the wall next to her. They were wide, eyebrows raised, and his mouth slightly agape. He stretched his arm out. He wasn’t the enemy, but she knew that. She was waiting for someone else to come through the door. She wasn’t scared of him, she was scared of what was out there.

“Eliza,” he said her name, and she knew it was serious. It made her mind reel in a completely different direction, what are you doing?

She looked around, not sure what to say. She wasn’t sure what was happening.

“Liz, hey,” he kept his voice soft, “It was just a dream. You’re okay, I’m not trying to hurt you. You’re safe here. I need you to breathe. Can you breathe for me?”

She tried, but she couldn’t. Her back hit the wall and she slid down slowly, knees pulled up to her chest. The water rose to her lungs.

He scrambled out of bed and knelt before her. “Okay, I need you to breathe. Focus on your breathing,” he said. “I’m here, you’re okay, I just need you to breathe for me.”

Eliza stared into his eyes through the tears that blurred her vision. She looked at him as she tried to get the air back in through her nose and out through her mouth. She followed his instruction, the world slowly becoming clearer with each passing second, and the burning in her chest turned into a tiny flame that she could stomp out.

“There you go. Good girl. You’re okay.”

She shivered, wrecked by a sudden wave of sobs. “You died,” she choked out. “You died so, so many times. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t save you. I can’t- I don’t know what’s happening to me, Matt. I’m scared. My head- my head is splitting. The world is falling apart. Space and- and time, everything’s breaking. I can’t- I can’t stop it. It won’t stop. Make it stop!”

He was next to her suddenly, wrapping his arms around her shoulder and pulling her into his chest. Matt held her tightly, her ear pressed to his left, right over his beating heart. He covered the other, tuning out the noise around them. He rubbed soothing circles over her heated skin and the bandage he could now smell the blood out of. She popped her stitches when she was writhing in bed, probably leaving the wound wide open. Eliza didn’t seem to notice. She was crying so heavily, he considered shaking her to get her to stop and breathe. He hated to feel the pain she was in but not knowing how to stop it or make it easier for her to deal with.

The sound of his heartbeat coaxed her back into consciousness, his hand on her ear stopping the screaming in her head. She exhaled, the sobs subsiding but leaving her shaking, still. She clawed at his shirt. He was her lifeline.

“You’re doing so good,” he murmured into the crown of her head.

Her muscles relaxed, melting into him, and she let him carry her.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered.

They were lying in bed and had been doing so for a while before she allowed herself to speak.

Matt shushed her. “Don’t apologize. I get nightmares too.”

“This was different. It felt so… real.”

“Our minds can play cruel tricks on us.”

“I had the same dream while I was knocked out. What is happening to me?”

She hoped he would offer her something she could hold onto that would make her feel less insane.

“You hit your head,” he said. “Pair that with the blast of alien tech, I think you were just confused. I could feel the power in the air, and it was stronger than anything I felt before. You took the whole force, so I don’t think you’re going crazy, your head is just a little banged up right now.” To underline his words, he stroked her hair back. “But you’re okay,” he reassured her, “because you’re not alone. I have you.”

That sufficed. “Okay, thank you,” she said.

“Get some rest now. I’ll make sure the demons stay away.”

“Matt?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

She fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

The next day was a blur. Eliza sat over the legal files she was supposed to write a report on, but all she could think about was that godforsaken dream. All she could think about was the pictures she saw, the stones and the endless fall, and on top of that, she kept thinking about a gigantic lie she carried with herself and now had to entertain because it was too late to tell him — Sister Maggie is Matt Murdock’s mother. It kept continuously hitting the back of her head like a bouncing ball.

How does one go about dealing with such knowledge? There was the possibility of a multiverse, a threat she couldn’t put her finger on and then there was her boyfriend, someone so kindhearted, he didn’t deserve to be lied to, but she did it anyway. She did the one thing she promised herself she would never do because she knew damn well what it felt like to be lied to.

Her head hurt and so did her heart. Everything hurt. Her soul was torn apart. Her head was splitting. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her composure.

She needed to understand why she dreamed what she had dreamt. She needed to understand what was happening to her heart, why her powers were acting funny, and why the infinity stones she saw were suddenly trying to speak to her when she was close to them, even if it was just a hallucination. Reality works in funny ways and she could feel it in her hands. Time ran through her fingers like an hourglass.

Eliza figured the happiness she had felt before wouldn’t last. It was the calm before the storm. She couldn’t let this destroy her life or her relationship like the secret of Matt’s mother would if he ever found out she lied to him. She had to keep quiet for his sake and partly for hers. It was selfish, but she didn’t care. The truth would tear him to shreds, Father Lantom was right. It was too late to pull out now, anyway.

Her father was dead, and so was her mother. Her file told the truth about her heritage and what she was born with, but it didn’t go into detail. The video Anton left her explained nothing, it only made her feel more guilty about selling him out and made forgiveness an easier task. The letter her mother left her was just as useless when viewed from a rational standpoint that relied on facts and figures. She didn’t know what was happening, and the foreshadowing of her parents did nothing but put her on edge when she thought back to what she heard.

Who else could help her? Bruce was lost somewhere, Tony wasn’t a doctor, Happy was just a man and she couldn’t go to a doctor’s office and have her checked out. The only people who knew or could figure out what was going on were either dead or off the planet — Thor and Asgard could help; she was half confused why they hadn’t shown as her father predicted, but perhaps they were right about her purpose and she was worth more on earth than somewhere else. Right now, she didn’t care though. She needed to know.

She thought about Mueller. He killed himself. He could have found answers, but he died too. They were all dead. All of the sources she could have turned to were gone and so she was left with a burden too heavy for her to carry.

Except there was one person. The man who raised her. The man who helped shape her into what he wanted her to be.

“Oh, no,” she muttered to herself.

It was not a thought she was supposed to have. But she was desperate and desperate people make stupid decisions, especially her. She swore she would stop being reckless, but opinions tend to change and hers switched as soon as the thought crossed her mind. She hated the thought, but her mind told her that it was the only way, and even the rational part of her agreed. This wasn’t being reckless, this was being desperate for answers, and she would take the risk gladly.

The door to the conference room was open, but she still missed when Karen came in. “Hey, is your wifi working?” she asked.

Eliza jolted, her head shooting up. When she saw her colleague, she closed her eyes and sighed a breath of relief.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I should have knocked.”

She waved it off. “It’s fine, I’m just a little jumpy lately,” she said. “Not your fault.”

Checking the icon on the bottom left of her laptop, she noticed the exclamation mark next to the wifi symbol.

“Yeah, no, mine’s out.”

“Great,” Karen cursed, “I was just doing our tax reports and the damn wifi stops working halfway through.”

“Have you tried banging on the router?”

“I did, yeah. Twice. It’s not working.”

“Okay,” Eliza rose to her feet, “Let me take a look at it. Sometimes it’s a glitch in the system. I’ll see if I can fix it.”

She sighed, “You’re a lifesaver.”

One look at the router told her that the issues with the wifi were caused by how old it was, and they chose the cheapest model, too. She hit it with twice Karen’s strength, almost breaking the plastic, but then the lights went on and her laptop chimed in response.

Karen beamed. “Thank God!”

“You need to hit it harder, sometimes to the point it almost breaks,” Eliza explained, “Or else it’s just not gonna work. But now that we’re already on the issue, we should work on getting you better internet. This thing is old as fuck.”

“It was the cheapest,” she jumped to her defense.

“I know, but you guys are financially stable now and I want to make sure it stays that way. Functioning internet can go a long way.”

She looked between the offices on either end of the room. “Where are they, anyway?” she asked.

“They-” Karen’s frown told her that she was supposed to know why Matt’s office was empty and Foggy was nowhere in sight either. “They told us earlier that they had a meeting at lunch,” she said. “They were going to check the police station for possible cases. They do that sometimes. You don’t remember?”

Anyone else would have made fun of her for being so forgettable, but she just looked concerned.

It dawned on her. They did say that in the morning, Eliza remembered. Looking at the clock, she also realized that it had been five hours since then and that she spent the duration of those five hours staring at a blank page.

“Huh,” she scoffed. “You’re right, I completely forgot.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… I haven’t slept that much last night.”

“Oh, because of-” her smirk turned suggestive and the heat rose to her cheek at what she was suggesting.

“No!” Eliza stammered. “We didn’t- it’s not because of that. Jesus, no. At least not last night.”

Karen’s smirk grew even bigger. “Okay, that might be too much, but is he any good?”

Her blush deepened.

“'cause, I mean, he is attractive. Foggy said he was quite active in college, so I was just wondering. Two hot people-”

“Wait,” she said, “Two- you find me hot?”

“What?” It was Karen’s turn to stammer. “Well, I- okay, this is getting weird.”

She was bright red now, too, her pale skin making it easy to see the embarrassment embedded in her skin. Her blue eyes turned anywhere but forward, hands fidgeting, and she made sure the hair fell into her face to cover most of her blush. It didn’t work.

Eliza licked her lips, scratching her temple, then turned back to her. “He is good,” she answered. The situation grew no less weird, but at least she steered off the awkward conversation about why Karen found her hot, not that it mattered, but they weren’t exactly close friends that would say such things about each other.

“How good?” Karen questioned. “I’m not asking this because I’m a pervert,” she chuckled, a high-pitched sound in the hot office air, “No, I’m just asking because I am getting way too little action, like none at all and I was just curious. I need to hear crazy sex stories or I might go crazy.”

“Six times good.”

“In one night?”

“Sometimes seven. Eight when I don't tap out first. The highest we went was ten, I think, but that was with snack breaks. And yes, in one night."

“Oh, God!” She slumped into her chair. “I need sex. Like, I need sex that is that good. I mean, honestly, ten times? And you-" Karen wasn't sure how to phrase it, and she was too much of a chicken to say it flat out.

"Cum?" She had absolutely no filter. "Oh, I do. I always do. Did you think the ten times were all for him?"

"Oh, that sounds so good."

"It is good. Amazing, mind-blowing, out of this world," Eliza counted down all the adjectives she could find to describe just what it felt like to have sex with Matt, but nothing cut even close and she felt proud that he was so incomparable.

She whined again. "Ugh! Why does life hate me? I'd be happy with just one orgasm, but I just can't find a man that knows how to do shit."

Eliza hated what desperation did to her. She had always been rather sneaky, but this was a new one. The worst part was, she didn’t feel guilty. She wasn’t doing this just to be selfish, it was a quid pro quo, but poor Karen didn’t even know what she would be helping her do.

She pulled a chair toward her desk and settled down. Other than Natasha, she never had a real friend of the same sex that she could share steamy stories with. Not sure how those relationships worked, she decided she would try her best going by what she observed.

“Let’s make a deal,” she said.

Karen raised her eyebrows. “A deal?” she asked.

“Yeah, a deal. I’m going to tell you something now. I’m going to tell you what happened behind what you saw on the news because I want you to know that I take this seriously, and then you’re going to do me a favor. In return, we are going to hit the streets and I am going to help you get laid. I know quite a few places here in New York where you can find good-looking guys or girls, whatever floats your boat. The quality of the sex needs to be judged first though 'cause I think finding a Matt Murdock is impossible, but anyway! The question is, do you trust me?”

She seemed taken aback. The sun hit her blonde hair in a way that made it look red. Karen contemplated, weighing the pros and the cons, and then settled on an answer.

It was an unconventional friendship, but she needed one of those.

“I trust you,” she said. “So, we have a deal, as long as you won’t lie to me.”

“We have a deal, that kind of secures my promise of honesty. I used to be an Avenger, and we take loyalty seriously.”

Loyalty. She was a hypocrite. She lied to Matt, the person she swore her undying honesty to, and she broke that. He didn’t yet know she broke it, but he would find out eventually. All of the decisions she made would come back to haunt her and bite her in the ass. She would be the one to ruin their relationship, she would ruin the future Matt seemed to be planning and she would ruin all the good she built for herself in such a short amount of time. It only took one bad decision and everything was back to being as fucked up as it used to be.

At the beginning of the retelling, Karen didn’t think much. She expected to encounter some information that would mess with her brain, but she was prepared for setting foot into a world so foreign yet so close. She had been around for the Battle of New York, and she knew that aliens existed and what they could do. She knew about the Avengers, accepted what they could do, and accepted there were things she could never truly understand if she didn’t live the same life as the group of heroes.

When Sokovia happened, she watched the news in shock, but her life had already been messy enough back then to care. When Lagos happened, she found herself wondering about how dangerous mutants might be, and then the Sokovia Accords were set in place to control the very mutants she questioned before. She never once agreed with the decision made by the court. Of course, mutants were different, but they weren’t more dangerous than the criminals walking the streets, and treating them like animals weren’t the right way to approach the topic.

She wasn’t a big fan of Tony Stark, especially not after what happened with Union Allied and the fight with Fisk that almost broke them apart. She hated rich people. It was a part of her she didn’t want to change. To her, billionaires were pretentious bastards and deserved nothing. She was an anti-capitalist, and she stood by that.

Though as Eliza told her the story of what she had been through, she started to understand more about why she was the way she was. It broke her heart. She treated her like an intruder when she was anything but, and she would curse herself for a long time for what she did.

“Your staring is quite unsettling,” said Eliza. Her words had long faded and she watched Karen intently for a sign of life. “I know this was a lot, but maybe you can say something?”

She swallowed. “I’m-” Why did her voice sound so weak? Karen cleared her throat and tried again to say, “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, thank God, you’re alive.”

“You- you almost died because you were shot?”

“Yes.”

“Hydra took you as a child, experimented on you, tortured and brainwashed you, turned you into an assassin, but then SHIELD saved you, trained you to be someone better until the Avengers came around and then you became a hero?”

She nodded again. “Yes.”

“And then Hydra came back to get you, but you were working with Daredevil – the Daredevil, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen – so you unveiled their plan, but they ended up kidnapping you, tortured you again, killed your father, and then tried to kill you?”

“And they almost succeeded, too. I was clinically dead for thirty minutes, but I came back, so now I’m not dead.”

“Oh, my God.” If thoughts were visible, there would have been smoke coming out of Karen’s ears. “I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“Daredevil saved my life,” Eliza said. “I know people say he’s dangerous, but-”

“I know he isn’t because he saved my life too.” Karen’s hand found hers. “You didn’t deserve any of the things they did to you,” she said, “and I’m so terribly sorry that I judged you by the lies the media spread about you. It wasn’t fair. Or judging you for your relationship with Matt when you are one of the most mature people I’ve ever met. You’ve been through so much and treating you like that wasn’t fair. I get it now. I’m so sorry.”

She squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, I’m better now.” She wasn’t, she was spiraling down and something wasn’t quite right with her head.

“So, uh,” Karen tried to regain her composure, “You said there is something I can help you with? Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Could she?

“I need you to help me get away with something so Matt doesn’t find out,” she said, and the look she received was one of confusion. Eliza gnawed at her bottom lip. “It’s nothing bad, he’s just very overprotective and I need to be alone for a couple of hours.”

“To do what, exactly?”

“I need to meet an old friend. A friend I had when I was still an Avenger.”

Eliza could be extremely quick on her feet, especially when it came to telling lies. She scared herself at how easily the words came over her lips.

“And he can’t find that out because it’s a little dangerous in the legal sense,” she said, “and he wants to make sure I don’t go to jail, which I understand, but this is a short meeting I have to attend because I need answers on something no one else but that friend can give me.”

He wasn’t a friend, he was a foe, but Karen didn’t need to know that.

The explanation seemed to make her curious and maybe a little suspicious, but she had her fair share of secrets, so she gave in. “Tell him we’re going out tonight to bond,” she said.

“What, seriously?”

“We made a deal. We’re going to pretend that we’re spending time together while you go about your business and then tomorrow, we’ll go out so I can get laid. That was the deal, right?”

“Right,” she answered quickly, “You’re right, that was the deal. Thank you, Karen! I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“He’d probably find out and lock you in at home like Rapunzel in her tower.”

“That-” she laughed, “Okay, that’s true.”

“And I desperately need a wingman,” she said.

And for what Karen was willing to do for her, she deserved Eliza’s best performance at finding someone that would absolutely destroy her in the best ways possible.

Her plan was simple: Get a taxi to the SHIELD base, sneak in through the back, and have Maria Hill, the only person willing to help her always, disable the security so she could get in unnoticed. Once she was inside, she only had to stay away from the security cameras and find her way to the prison cells in the basement. For that, she needed security clearance, but she convinced Maria to give her the key that would give her access to every inch of the base. Then, she only had to outrun security, distract them or knock them out to reach her target that was locked away in one of the most secure cells in the entire compound. It was simple and sounded so easy, but the not getting caught part was the hardest one.

She had infiltrated many government facilities, but Nick Fury was smart and he had his ways. Thanks to Maria, she could get in unnoticed, but the rest was on her. And if Maria was asked, she would have to fold to keep her job, which would get her cover blown faster than she got in.

Viktor Volkov was a murderous asshole that ruined her life and took her childhood and her pride, but she was in control now and he was locked away with no opportunity to touch her. She was safe from him. She had the upper hand. He was an asshole and a pedophile but he was the only one who knew her ‘condition’ better than most. She grew up with him. He raised her, supervised the experiments, and used her in the ways he saw fit, which meant he knew the extent she could go to back then, and after figuring out what was really inside of her, he still knew more than she ever did. He was the only one who could help her and she would get her answers, come what may.

She made it as far as the lower level, the hallway she had to get through to reach the stairs that would make it easier to go lower. She triggered a sound distraction at the opposite end, causing the guards to split up and jog in the opposite direction. The red light of the security camera shut off and she thanked Maria for being such a good friend. She didn’t even have to explain, she just told her she had to speak with him and get some things straight and that Fury wasn’t to find out. She agreed to help. One hand washed the other. She owed her. This was treason, technically, going behind his back, and she risked a lot by helping her out. But when did Maria Hill ever care about being a rebel? She was born for it.

Eliza looked around the corner first. The hallway was clear. She looked to her left, taking a few steps back. She thought she ran back into the wall, but instead, she hit something a lot… softer.

She jumped around when she realized it was a body, hands at the ready to fight, but the red eyes looking down at her almost in pure disappointment made her scream.

“Jesus Fuck!” she held her heart. “You scared the crap out of me.” Taking a closer look, her face fell. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” she asked. Her voice sounded shrill and he flinched, purposely so.

Matt opened his mouth, surprised she even had to ask. “What am I- what are you doing here?” he shot back.

“I asked first.”

“I asked second.”

“I was just… visiting my friends,” Eliza said. “What’s your excuse, hm? You don't have any friends here."

He cocked his head. “You were just casually visiting your SHIELD friends in a secret government facility, in your suit, the one I had Melvin design for you?”

She shrugged. “I felt fancy.”

“The suit isn’t fancy, it’s practical. It’s meant for fighting. It's not meant to be paraded around, but you know that. The fact that you used it so you could break in-”

His lecturing tone made her roll her eyes. That he even got to judge. He broke in too, after all.

“I didn’t break in. I had a key.”

“Where the fuck did you get a key to this place?” His voice grew more and more agitated with every passing word from her end.

“Obviously not fucking eBay,” she deadpanned. “I got it from Maria, who just happens to be my friend.”

“Oh, so now Hill’s helping you break into her workplace, a secure government facility with a security presence higher than the Empire State?”

“So what if she did? You broke in too, you hypocrite!”

“Because I was following you,” he said.

“You were following me?” She was afraid of that. “You stalker!” Eliza screeched. “Can’t I just have one night to myself?” Her face was starting to grow red and he didn’t look better.

The argument was useless. She was fucked anyway. He made her and now her mission was at risk. Matt wouldn’t let her proceed, not even when the Devil came out to play. He wanted to kill Viktor and he would do so still if he ever got the chance, but he also wouldn’t because he found back to faith and himself. It was a weird space in the in-between, and she hated it.

He sneered, “You can if you’re not getting yourself in danger. What did you tell me? You were going to have a girls' night with Karen?”

“Maybe I was.”

“No, you weren’t. I could tell she was lying the second she said she was leaving to meet you. Seriously, you got Karen into this? What did you tell her?”

“She’s my friend,” she argued, “and also, I told her everything. That’s why she helped me.”

He stared blankly behind the mask.

She huffed, biting her cheek guiltily, and dropped her shoulders. “I told her some things,” she corrected herself at his deadpan expression. “Doesn’t matter anyway. I needed her to stall so I could get in here because I knew you were going to try and stop me.”

“Damn right, I did! You are so reckless,” he snapped, “what is wrong with you?”

“From the top of my head, I’d say a lack of parental affection and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and crippling depression.”

“Would you mind taking this seriously?”

“Would you mind leaving me alone?”

She was being childish, she knew that but the fact he followed her to stop her did not sit right with her and she was beyond pissed off.

Matt chuckled. It was one of his dark chuckles, the one reserved for either roleplay in the bedroom or for all the nights he walked the streets of Hell’s Kitchen as Daredevil, the man without fear. It was the breathless chuckle that left most criminals shaking because he proved to them how much he enjoyed enforcing justice, how much he enjoyed beating them to a puddle so his city could be a better place. It was then that Eliza realized she had fucked up, and he wasn’t going to let this slide.

“Sweetheart, you better tell me what you’re doing here before I have to force you,” he said. His voice resembled a low growl, sounding like boots scraping over gravel.

She pouted, answering, “I was visiting my friends.”

“Stop bullshitting me!” He echoed through the hallway and she flinched.

“Jesus, Matt, stay quiet!”

“Tell me,” he demanded.

She couldn’t say no to the Devil, but oh did she want to, and he had pissed her off enough for the night. She loved him but this went too far. He had crossed clear boundaries and she wasn’t going to let this slide.

She opened her arms in exasperation. “What do you care?”

“What do I— I’m your boyfriend.”

“No,” Eliza replied sternly, “Right now you are Daredevil and he has no business being here or following me.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll take the mask off.” He did so, removing the cowl and staring at her intently. “There,” he said, “I’m Matt Murdock, your boyfriend. Now tell me what the fuck you’re doing here!”

“I don’t answer to you. You have no right to control me. I’m not your property.”

“I’m not treating you like property, I just care about you,” she was surprised at how soft he sounded all of a sudden, “and I really want to know what you were thinking so I can make sure you don’t get hurt.”

He heard the footsteps too late. The security guards came around the corner, guns at the ready, and the pair sighed in defeat. It was of no use fighting the SHIELD Agents tasked to protect the facility, especially not so deep down, and since the light on the cameras was blinking again, Fury knew exactly where they were and what they were doing.

They put their arms up and behind their heads.

She sighed. “Great,” her eyes rolled back, “You managed to trigger the fucking security alert, congratulations.”

“I did?” Matt retorted. “You were screaming bloody murder.”

“Well, now we’re getting arrested-” she hissed when one of the guards pushed against her back. “I took measures to make sure this doesn’t happen. You completely fucked with my plan.”

“Oh, sorry I was trying to protect my girlfriend from getting killed!”

She struggled to find words, “Who would kill me in here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then why are we arguing?”

“I don’t know!”

"Honestly, the audacity you have sometimes-"

The security guards pushed them down the hall, into the elevator. They both stood trapped with the heavily armed men in the small space that slowly started to feel suffocating.

He turned his head to her. “Should we fight them?” he asked.

In response, a gun pressed into his lower back, as did hers.

“Nevermind.”

Eliza scowled at him. "You are so not getting laid the next two weeks," she said.

"I can take good care of myself, thank you," he retorted. "I'm not the one who has trouble masturb-"

"Okay, would you stop? You are disturbing the security guards."

"You started talking about our sex life."

"Which will be non-existent for three weeks now," she grinned sourly at him, "Congratulations. Have fun with your hand- hey!" One of the guards dug his gun further into her hip. "Would you mind?" she asked.

He didn't even look at her.

"Unbelievable."

They were forced into a room somewhere on the first floor, and the door shut behind them as fast as it had opened. On each end of what seemed to be another conference room at the other side of the compound, a guard stood to protect the doors.

Eliza realized they weren’t there to prevent Matt from leaving because he had accepted his fate, they were there to make sure she didn’t make a run for it.

She paced the floor with angry steps, her fists balled at her sides, and she muttered curses under her breath that were anything but friendly.

Matt sighed. “Would you stop pacing?”

She glared at him. “No.”

“Eliza, please, just sit down. It’s of no use-”

“If these guys would do something other than standing around and being useless,” she said and stepped up to one of them, “I could get out of here, but I am once again held against my will, which would be terrifying if I couldn’t break his fucking neck if I wanted to right fucking now.”

The guard flinched back.

“Would you stop threatening the security guards?” he asked from behind her, at this point beyond tired of her shenanigans. “Sit down,” his demand was louder this time, “or I’ll pull you into my lap and make sure you stay there.”

“Take your shot.”

She should have known he would stay true to his promise. His arm slung around her waist and pulled her back into his chest. She struggled, but he had her pressed tightly to him, she couldn’t move. He wasn’t sitting however, he was holding her as he stood, and her heart calmed at the grounding stroke of his hand along her side.

He cooed into her ear, “I know you’re mad at me right now, but I only followed you because I was worried. Now, you can hate me all you want, but at least I got you in my arms again, safe and sound.”

His silver tongue be damned.

“Whatever brought you here, it’s okay, we can talk about it.”

“I don’t want to talk,” she said, “I just want answers.”

“Answers about what?” he asked.

“Myself.”

“What?”

The door opened and his grip on her eased. They turned to the man that entered, his black leather coat dangling dangerously close over the ground. Nick Fury stood in all his one-eyed glory, the look of disappointment causing his forehead to wrinkle, but then again he always looked like that. His arms were crossed behind his back, undoubtedly holding something he didn’t want them to see yet.

He eyed Matt first, then Eliza. His face fell even further. “I taught you better than that,” he said. “That was an awful break-in.”

She chuckled sourly. “Well, I was in a hurry,” she said.

“Still weak. And talking about your sex life while guns are pointed at your backs? What are you?" he cocked his head, "Twelve?"

“What do you want, Nick?”

“I’m curious as to what led you two fools here.”

“I had a mission, he was following me.”

Matt scoffed, “You make me sound like an asshole.”

“I love you, but right now you are,” she said.

“Whatever your marital dispute is,” Nick cut their bickering short by stating, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Seriously?” Eliza said at the same time Matt said, “What?”

Their forehead wrinkled in confusion, unlike his look of disappointment, and she searched for answers in his face. He was expressionless as always. A goldfish displayed more emotions than him. He was hard to read, impossible even.

“Yeah, I was actually going to contact you, but your insufferably reckless ass somehow made it here without me having to waste valuable time to call you. And your puppy is somehow always on your ass, so it was kind of predictable he'd break in too, which he seemed to be better at than you," he said.

“You make it sound like I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s because you don’t."

His arms came forward, the thick brown folder in his hand almost bursting with documents. He threw it on the table. It slid toward her, landing right in front of her. Eliza stared at the missing title, then back at Nick.

“What’s that?” she asked.

He slid the same file only with a Braille imprint toward Matt, who caught it with his palm. “Same question here,” he said.

“Well, Matthew, I'm sure you'd like to know that your girlfriend was planning on sneaking into our prison quarters and speaking to Viktor Volkov who is locked away pretty good in a special cell, but she knew that already,” Fury’s working eye switched to her, “Didn’t you?”

Matt’s eyelids fluttered wildly. “You were planning to do what?” at the end, his voice hitched an octave, and he looked almost angry. She didn’t answer, only staring down guiltily at the closed file. “Are you out of your goddamn mind? Eliza, what has gotten into you?”

“I wasn’t planning to kill him if that’s what you’re insinuating,” Eliza said, and in her defense, she really wasn’t. He could hear it in her heartbeat.

He scoffed, turning away. “Why?” he asked.

She glanced over at his sharp jawline, the way it twitched ever so lightly, an inner conflict displayed in his face. He didn’t understand and she couldn’t blame him. She really didn’t understand it either. She was supposed to find her answers elsewhere, not turn back to Viktor, but in her mind, it had been the right choice to make. It still was, in some way. She still wanted to ask him because damn her father, he wasn’t alive anymore and she was at a loss for answers.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t,” said Nick, “because I have something for you that I need to talk about. I’m glad you’re both here ‘cause you’re going to need a lawyer for this one, Bennett.”

She frowned. “What did you do?” She didn’t trust him, especially not with strange files that were never opened before. There was still a seal on it.

Matt toyed with the paper. On his face, the same question was displayed.

“This is all the information we could pull from the White Room and what was left of Hydra. It includes government secrets and reports on the experiments conducted, new and old. The reports date back to twenty years ago, even before you came along. It’s filled with death certificates and profiles of each Hydra Agent that was responsible for Project Chaos, and the new variant they were trying to create. This file has all the evidence on what happened at the new facility,” he told them, “which makes this very valuable. The government would kiss my feet if they got this. But that’s not all. It has all the information on the men that hurt you, especially Viktor, Ivan, and that scientist Mueller. I compiled every last sliver of information in this file-”

Her jaw tightened. “What does it have to do with me?” she questioned.

“Because it’s also a record of everything you did in Hydra’s name.”

Shit.

“Now, I know this may seem like a lot, but I encourage you to take a look at it. There is a decision you have to make,” he said. “We either burn this thing or we get it to the FBI, including Viktor, and this thing goes to trial. You have to choose one of them.”

She had to choose? Eliza stared at the file, her eyes blank. She came in to talk to Viktor, not be overrun by Fury’s twisted idea of justice. She wasn’t prepared for it.

She flipped the file open. Her eyes skimmed over the secrets Hydra had collected over the years, many of those that could threaten governments all around the world. She recognized some of the secrets because she was the one who got them. The diplomat’s daughter that she killed, everyone dead around her, every last record of what she did, who she killed, it was all out there. Or, it was in the file, anyway. Every child that died at Mueller’s hand and Viktor’s command. The faces were partly familiar, partly strangers.

When it came to the records of what happened a month ago, she saw the outline for the new White Room, the records of the people kidnapped, the procedures that were done and killed so many more. The ones who got out were put into witness protection, it said in the file, and it made sense. She was listed as one of the kidnapped victims, and what they planned to do to her and her blood was briefly documented, but the record also stated that most of the documents were burned or shredded.

Ivan was pronounced dead and so was Anton, her father. Ivan’s murderer wasn’t mentioned; they blacked Natasha’s name out, thank God, because if the government found out, they would send an even bigger search party and prosecute Eliza for more than what was stated in the file.

Matt read the file at the same speed she did, but he picked up a little more than she did. The lawyer in him read the information she had told him long ago, but it still made him swallow. In a legal sense, this didn’t look good and if it got out - he didn’t want to think about it, and the fact Eliza seemed so deep in thought was unsettling.

“Angel,” he said, “You can’t let this happen. The pardon that was made-” he tried his best to glare at Nick, “It would mean nothing if this goes out. Why would you even suggest this?”

“Because the FBI and DODC can lock Viktor Volkov away for good and make sure he never sees the light of day again,” Nick said. "They can give him a proper trial and put him somewhere he won't come out again because the people in jail, most of them, at least, hate child molesters. He'd suffer far worse there than here. This is a five-star hotel in comparison and quite frankly, it's pissing me off."

“Well, this isn’t just about that asshole, although I would love nothing more than to see him suffer. Believe me, Fury, I get why you’d want him locked away somewhere that isn’t your basement, but this isn’t about you or Volkov,” he said. “This is about Eliza. She’s the only thing that matters here.”

“With all due respect, and I don’t often say that to just anyone, but it’s not just about her. This is about putting a criminal and enemy of the state behind bars that are not in a SHIELD facility but far, far away from here.”

“No,” Matt’s chuckle sounded dark, and his eyes matched his tone, “absolutely not. This is about her, you and I both know it. Don't put justice in front of her. She matters more than that."

Nick turned to Eliza, his head cocked to the side and his eye expectantly boring into her frame that seemed smaller than usual. “Bennett,” he said.

“Eliza,” said Matt.

She closed her eyes, rolling them behind closed lids.

“Sweetheart, please, you can’t consider this. From a legal perspective, this will screw up the freedom you just gained back. The statement of what happened at the facility, I— you broke the Accords more than once, sweetheart, and if the government got their hands on this, no one is going to show you mercy. And this is not your boyfriend speaking, this is your lawyer who is cautioning you against this. As your boyfriend, I can’t lose you, but as your lawyer, putting you in jail by releasing this would be completely counter-productive because your imprisonment would be entirely different from a normal inmate, and right now your lawyer’s words are what matters the most. Even Foggy would tell you the same thing.”

Her thoughts raced. His words met her ears, but they floated in her brain like weightless clouds, speaking a foreign language she never learned. She wasn’t sure what to say, think or do. All of the information that her eyes picked up was messy and she knew how risky it was to consider it. She agreed with Matt that it would get her locked away faster than she could say she was innocent, but the part of her that craved to see Viktor suffer found Nick’s offer alluring. She considered it and she hated that she did.

She looked up eventually. “I want to see him,” she stated.

“Absolutely not,” Matt jumped in once again. He didn’t mean to sound controlling, but it seemed Eliza was being controlled by a force she couldn’t see, a cruel little monster that told her exactly the opposite of what was the right thing to do. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. We should sit down and think about this,” he said.

“I want to see him,” she said. Her voice played one note. “Let me see him.”

Nick shared a look with the two guards. “If that’s what you really want—“

“Fury, with all due respect, you can’t do this.” Matt was determined to stop this before it could get worse. “You can’t let her talk to him.”

Her eyes were dead when she turned to him and said, “It’s my choice to make, not yours.”

He feared she might slip away from him again.

“I need to see him, and I’m going to do so with or without your support. Now, are you gonna stand in my way, Matthew, or are you going to put your role as my boyfriend aside to support me in my decision to paint my own picture before I sell myself out to the FBI?”

Viktor always put her in a terrifying mindset, but the more he listened to her erratic heartbeat, the more he realized she couldn’t be swayed, and she was just as scared as him, although her moral conflict prevented her from showing how badly it hurt.

His question, “Can we listen in?” was answered quickly by a nod from Nick.

“We’ve got surveillance everywhere,” he said, then nodded to the guards. “If that’s all, take her to him.”

Matt caught her arm. "Hey," he said, and his voice and eyes had softened visibly, "I didn't mean any of what I said earlier. I'm here for you, always, no matter what."

She smiled, "I know."

"I know you have to do this and it's your right, but... be careful, okay?"

"Okay," she said.

Eliza thought she would never see him again. She didn’t want to see him. She hated him. She loathed him with her entire being, but sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do to get results.

It reminded her of the time she went to visit Mueller, but this time, she didn’t have to sign a waiver or talk to his lawyers. She could talk to him and there was nothing he could do about it because he was trapped behind glass. She had never felt so powerful as she did when she finally stood in front of him.

She chuckled. “I was looking forward to this.”

Viktor sat on the bench of his cell. At the sound of the door opening, he had looked up. His eyes sparked curiosity, but he didn’t get up, not even when she stood right in front of the glass where the red border was drawn on the ground. Don’t cross, it said.

“Not particularly this,” she said, “but seeing you locked in a cage while I’m out here, free of the chains you bound me with when I was a kid. How does it feel to be the ant instead of the boot?”

He rose to his feet, finally, and approached the glass.

“Does it feel humiliating? Does it make you feel smaller than you are like you have no rights and are merely existing for the purpose of someone else?”

“Oh, I’m so glad to see you again,” he purred. His voice had gotten deeper and his hair had grown out. With the white suit on he was right where she had once been and the fact he was chained to the ground meant she really made it out and now it was his turn to suffer. “How have you been, malyshka?”

“Don’t deflect.”

“I heard what happened with Ivan. I knew you’d survive, of course. You always do.”

She eyed his face. The scars of what she did to him were still visible. “I survived because you were not my only reason for living,” she said. “I survived because I deserve it, you don’t. The truth is, I should have killed you when I got the chance, but I learned that I am better than the killer you made me out to be. I’m not defined by what you did to me, so I’m glad I didn’t kill you so you can see me thrive now and watch yourself lose over and over again when you look into my eyes and see yourself trapped in a cell, not me.”

He chuckled. “Attitude,” he said, “You’ve always had that. Feisty you were, especially as a child. But this undying hope that you have… I never taught you that.”

“Yeah, you told me hope was for the weak and that a good girl doesn’t hope, she only obeys. That kind of sucked, by the way.”

“What brings you here?” he deflected once again. “Did you miss me?”

“You disgust me,” she spat.

“Now, why are you being so vulgar? I didn’t do anything to you. I just showed you who you really are, but you didn’t want to see it, did you? You still don’t want to see. You’re blind, malyshka. You want to be blind because you know what you’re going to see is so much worse than who you pretend to be. If anything, you owe me.”

“I owe you?” She laughed. It was hilarious. He still spoke as if he had any control over her, but she knew better. Finally, she knew better.

A month ago, she would have struggled with not believing him, but now she knew that he was merely trying to turn her into the monster he wanted her to be. He didn’t own her and she didn’t owe him, especially not after what he did to her.

She could fight back and she would because she had to, not only for herself but for all the innocent children he hurt, for all the girlhoods he took and the innocence he stole from her. She had to fight for the death and destruction he caused and the families that suffered at his hand. And she had to fight for her future to be free of his memory. He didn’t deserve the kind of power he had over her, and she was finally done falling for him.

She stepped forward, barely breeching the tape. “I owe you shit,” she said. “I followed your command for so long, listened to all the lies you told me, and I let you shape me the way you wanted to. You manipulated me to the point I started to believe that I was as worthless as you said and that I only lived for Hydra. You made me feel so small,” Eliza shivered, the tears clogging her throat, but she pushed through them, “You made me feel like a toy and while I might have loved it back then, I realize now that you made me dependent on you simply because you thrived off of taking the power and innocence from little girls. You think I owe you because I was the only one who survived your torture? That I owe you for the mercy you showed me when I disobeyed you back then? You really think that?”

His eyes darkened. The monster was about to come out, and she realized that she had seen the same darkness in herself, but she wasn’t a monster. He made her believe she was born to be a monster, but that wasn’t true. The way she viewed herself was heavily influenced by what he taught her and it was time she broke that cycle. She had to take back the power she lost.

“Newsflash, Viktor, I no longer live for you. I don’t live for anyone but myself. So you can take your manipulation and shove it so far up your ass, it comes back out of your mouth, and then you will choke on it because you don’t deserve the air you breathe. You don’t deserve anything but what’s coming for you. You think washing your hands is going to make what you did go away? It won’t,” she told him, “and you know why? Because I am going to show everyone the blood on your hands and I am going to make you suffer for what you did. Now that I’m grown, I’m scared of ghosts. Every last memory of you is burned into my brain and I keep thinking about what I did wrong. But it wasn’t my fault,” Eliza said, “and I get that now. I used to be weak, I used to be smaller than you and afraid to hit you back because I was scared of punishment. I used to pray for the day I got bigger than you, but I was too caught up in your game to grow up. But I am grown now and I understand that what you showed me wasn’t love. This ends with me. Now I live for the thrill of hitting you exactly where it hurts you the most, and that started with tearing down Hydra, and it’s going to continue by putting your files out there and getting every last government organization involved in getting you somewhere far, far away from here where no one can ever get hurt again. I’m taking back my girlhood, Viktor. I’m taking back the power you stole from me and you are so going to burn for all that you ever did in your miserable life.”

He bared his teeth, suddenly so close to the glass. “You think I’m scared of a little girl?�� he asked.

“Look at me. Do I look like a little girl to you?”

“You say you’re big enough to hit me back, but you’re hiding behind a facade. Deep down, you’re still a scared little girl and nothing that you do is going to break me. If anything, if you publish those files, I am going to break you–“

“No, you don’t get to break me. You don’t get to do that. I won’t give you the satisfaction.”

“Oh, malyshka,” his words spat venom and she swallowed it up at the first glance, “This is not up to you. You think you’re in control, but I’ll always be in your head. I’ll always be in control of you. I made sure of that.”

Eliza clenched her jaw. “Is that why I’ve been seeing strange things, huh?” she said. “What kind of mind games did you play with me? Why does it feel like my head is being split in two every damn night? Was that you because if it was, I want to know just what you did so I can reverse this madness!”

“I didn’t do anything. And even if I did, there’s nothing I can do about it now. The real power is in your blood. The truth is up to you and God now. Maybe you should ask your father- oh, wait,” he smirked, “He’s dead.”

Her hand collided with the glass. His laughter rang out and it only got louder. She needed him to stop. The sound was all too familiar. It was terrifying and it hurt deep within her chest. It tore her skin off her bones and threw it into a smoldering pit of fire. He pulled at her heart and took her soul with his laugh, he toyed with her and broke her mind with every word he spoke.

He didn’t get to have control over her anymore, but the anger did and he knew how to play with her anger. Oh, how he knew how to play with her anger. He was a master manipulator, after all.

When her hand hit the glass, it shook, and the guards behind her broke their motionless stance to storm after her. She broke the barrier right through, standing right in front of where he was locked away, and the sound of her palm against the cage vibrated in the large room.

“Take his name out of your mouth!” she hissed. “Answer me! What is wrong with me? What do you know, huh? Tell me!” One of the guards grabbed her arm, but she shoved him away. “No, I need to know. I need to know what you know, Viktor. You don’t have anywhere to run, so you gotta tell me before I get in there and fucking rip your throat out, you useless fuck!”

He only laughed harder. He was making fun of her. Viktor got off on how desperate she was, the fury in her eyes and the fire in her bones. He thrived off of seeing her struggle like a fish out of water, and it only made her angrier.

The arms of the other guard wrapped around her and pulled her back behind the tape. She shrugged him off but remained where he had forced her to stand. “If you know anything, I’m gonna find it out. You don’t get to destroy who I am,” she said, “and I’m no longer scared of you. Do what you want, I’m done. I’m going to dedicate my life to ruining you, and you have to watch as I burn everything in your way to set you on fire, too.”

Eliza glanced at the security camera where she suspected Nick and Matt were watching her, and she exhaled a heavy breath, one that was as determined as she was. “Publish the file,” she said loud enough for the speakers to pick up.

She turned to the exit, ready to make a run and punch the first wall she could find, but then his voice rang out again and it made her blood run cold.

“The real enemy here is you,” he said. “There’s a reason you’ve been having those dreams, and if the world ended, it was probably your fault. Destroyer of Worlds.”

The words were in Russian, but she understood. “What did you just call me?”

Viktor only laughed again.

“What did you just call me?”

“You’re going to destroy yourself before you destroy me,” he stated, unrelated to her question, and he settled back down on the bench. “I’ll be here waiting for you to join me in jail.”

She looked at him again. She wasn’t going to join him anywhere. He could try as hard as he wanted, but she wouldn’t listen. She refused to cave.

“They can try to lock me away, but I would rather kill myself than be anyone’s captive ever again, and trust me, I will. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“But did you ever succeed?”

“Trust me, if I get prosecuted for what you did, I won’t hesitate to pull you down with me. That’s not a warning, Viktor, it’s a promise. You’re done here. You’ve lost. I’m taking the power and control you took from me and I’m going to channel it into destroying you,” said Eliza, the door opening before her and revealing the brightly lit hallway behind it, “Whatever it fucking takes.”

#matt murdock #daredevil #foreigner's god #matt murdock angst #matt murdock x ofc #matt murdock fic #matt murdock x female!oc #daredevil fic #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x oc #karen page #foggy nelson #marvel #mcu

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brownflower23 · 3 years

Text

Drowning Ch.1

Matthew Simmons x Reader

Short Series

*Explicit content warning* Angst/Smut/Fluff

Summary: Reader helps Matthew work through getting divorced, but how much of herself can she give before breaking?

"Daddy!" The screams get louder the harder I sprint into the black hall. I can't get to them. "I'm right here. I'm here." I yell breathless, reaching out to the end of the hall. Just as my hand touches the wall, the hall stretches into further darkness. "Daddy, please!" They scream again and I feel my airway tightening. My babies. I can't stop, I have to get to them.

You failed.

"Tell me where you are" I shout trying to listen for them over the constant overbearing dripping sound, wailing as a timer of my horror. "Why aren't you here daddy?" I recognize my youngest daughter's cry that time, stopping my feet from moving, buckling to my knees.

You can't protect them.

"I'm here baby, I promise." I cough crawling to her voice, becoming blinded by smoke. The dripping it's faster. God, it won't stop. I can't breathe. I can't make it to them.

Drip.

"We see you, daddy." I squint up, still trying to drag my body across the burning floor. It's them. I can only see small shadowing figures, but it has to be them. It has to. "Hey come here, it's okay." I smile, as the figures slowly float toward me.

Drip.

You're going to lose them.

The ground shakes, a large crack splintering in the floor traveling toward them. They scream scrambling to hold each other. "Daddy the ground is moving."

Drip.

"Hold on, I'm here." Get up, Matt. Get up now.

Drip.

"We're falling daddy, save us." My burning eyes freeze, watching the ground begin to crumble beneath my loves, my reason for living.

Drip.

"Matt..."

"Matt!"

She half stepped backward to let me stand, towering over her frame once I was in front of her. She shyly dropped her eyes, scanning over the t-shirt and gym shorts I slept in to keep her comfortable. "Sorry to wake you, I'm going to grab a shower to relax" I announce causing her to look back up. She only nodded before clumsily whirling toward her bed.

"Matt you need to wake up." I lunged up from the bed, looking at Y/N staring at me with worried eyes. "Are you okay?" She whispers gently touching my shoulder. My hand still clenching my chest, gasping for air to calm my body. I look over to her hand on my shoulder, causing her to withdraw it quickly, looking down to the ground sheepishly.

"I'm okay. Bad dream" I answered trying to convince myself also. Her eyes narrowed contemplating to push further, biting the corner of her lip pulling my eyes down to the plump flesh. "Okay. If you need to talk, I'm always here." She smiled so sweetly it was almost annoying. Reverting my eyes to her own, I nodded weakly, before standing from the bed.

Once in the small bathroom, I turn on the water first to let it warm before undressing and stepping under the stream. The hot water only reminded me again of the awful dream I keep having, making my muscles tense. Realistically, tense had been my only state the past months. I'm going to snap if it gets any worse, but I don't see any glimpse of hope. All I feel is lonely. And angry, so damn angry.

I haven't even been able to relieve myself since I moved. With so much worry and pain always clouding my mind, I feel like an unstable bomb waiting to blow. Desperate to release some of this pressure I wrap my hand around my cock, using the warm water to gently stroke over myself.

I let my head fall back against the shower wall, clenching my eyes shut tight, biting onto my lip to keep in a deprived moan. Just think of anything but her.

"Fuck, come on." I pump faster, feeling my chest starting to rise faster. My hips jerk toward as my thumb circles over my tip, a groan vibrating through my chest. Finally, I was getting close. I'd give anything to hear a pretty little voice crying my name.

You're losing them.

No, God, please. Not now. My throat instantly squeezes, the haunting burning feeling in my chest returning. I tried to stop the loud sob that bypassed my pride, folding my face over into my hands, letting the salty tears mix with the water running over. I can't do this.

I flip the water off, taking one step out of the shower before catching a glimpse of the defeated man in the small mirror. Before I could stop myself; my fist collided with the wall. The full force of months of frustration shattering the mirror.

You were just about to drift back to sleep when you thought you heard a moan come from the shower. The shower Matt just entered. You freeze to listen more carefully, you then hear a faint profanity moaned again. You feel guilty that a shock tingled straight to your core, but it wasn't meant for you to hear.

Even if you weren't invading his privacy, Matt has a beautiful family. You shake the thought, turning to face the wall opposite the bathroom. Of course; with your damned luck, his next moan was louder, you couldn't stop the mental image of Matt's tall, muscular body flexing as he pleasured himself. Stop, this is wrong.

Matt and yourself had been friends a couple of years, ever since your start at the BAU. You adored his loyalty to his family and held a secret guilty pleasure of watching him be a badass in the field. That's why when there was a shortage of rooms you agreed to room with him because it was never awkward, he always made you feel comfortable.

You clench your thighs trying to stop your thoughts, but it honestly didn't help. Your thought is interrupted by a loud crashing sound from the shower. You jump up running to the shower, pushing through the door. "Matt are you okay?" You yell as the door swings open, but the sight in front of you silences you.

He slowly looks up to you, his chest still heaving, water dripping down his body that had nothing covering it. After looking for a second too long you turn your face to the side, feeling the blush taking over your skin. "I'm so sorry, I thought you were hurt." You stutter, seeing him reach for a towel out of your peripheral vision.

"It's okay." He finally breathes, his voice doesn't sound the same. It sounds empty. You turn back slowly, finding him still staring at you with the towel clinging lowly on his hips. There was undeniable pain in his eyes, it made your heart wrench. You wanted to ask him again, something was clearly bothering him the past months. You couldn't even recall seeing him smile. Not wanting to pry, you turn from him to walk away from the embarrassment.

"Kristy and I separated." It's barely a whisper, but you caught it just as you exited the door. Your feet became heavy, not sure how to react to the information. You look back at his dark eyes, everything in you wanted to hug him, but after the recent events, you decided against it. Matt let out a long sigh, almost as to be relieved to say it.

You initially wonder why he would choose to tell you first, he was closer with some of the other team, like Luke. You always hated situations like these. How do you respond to that news? There is only so many time a person can hear "I'm sorry" before it's as dreadful as the event itself.

"How long?" You ask softly. "6 months" He cringed slightly at his words. "I'm so sorry Matt." You offer not knowing what else to say, by the way his jaw clenched signaled it was ill-timed. "Stop. Please. I don't need sympathy right now, okay?" He snapped taking a step closer to you. You had sadly been through a heartbreak, so you understood how he feels.

"Well, what do you need?" You ask, purposefully not making it about yourself. His eyes drop slowly over your body, making you feel naked in your silk pajama set. He took another step forward, only leaving an arm's length between your bodies, the air around you suddenly feeling thick.

"I need to forget." His delayed answer making your air hitch. "Forget how?" You stare at him with doe eyes, asking if he was implying what you believed he was. "With you." Is all he answered, and you never believed two such simple words could make you question your morals. "I just need to forget for a little while." He continues, but now closing the space between you. Your heart pounded against your ribcage, trying to convince yourself not to sleep with your coworker.

"We work together." You use your last bit of self-control to alter. "Yeah, and last week I remember you saying it had been a while for you because we work so much. We can help each other." His reasoning sounding much more appealing than your own. Your eyes graze down his abs again, following the v-shaped lines that faded under the white towel, causing you to let out a defeated sigh.

"Stop biting that damn lip." He groans boxing you in between his arms, but still refraining from touching you. A smirk played at your lips looking up at him. "I can't help it." You admit pushing yourself back flush to the door frame. "Then I can't help this."

Matt's kiss was powerful and soft at the same time, cupping both hands to your waist. One of your hands hooked around his neck while leaving the other free to feel down his torso. You thought you could've been dreaming until you felt him lightly nip the lip he told you to stop biting, causing you to moan against his lips. He paused kissing you to pick you up pushing against the frame, as you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist.

"Stop me now." He muffled into your neck kissing teasingly over your pulse point, holding you up by your hips. "Don't you dare stop" You groan needing more. He smirks against your skin before carrying you to the closest bed, pushing your bodies into the mattress.

You pull him back down to you but passing his lips to attach wet kisses down his neck, running your fingers through his short hair. His cool hands send chills over your skin as he explored your curves, stopping eventually at the band of your silk shorts. He tugged them down slowly also hooking your underwear, sitting up to finish removing them.

After throwing the clothes to the ground, he ran a hand up each of your legs parting them enough to admire your bare center, your body squirming just from his stare. He settled back between your legs, using his hips to further spread you for him.

"Matt, please." You whine growing impatient. He chuckles lightly at you before you finally caressing over your pussy with his fingertips. "God, you're so ready for me." Matt moans feeling you, making your hips buckle from the light touch.

Not wasting any more time, Matt tugs his towel away, letting you take in his naked body for a second time. Now bare, he wraps his arm around your waist sliding you down to better align with him. He left a few more kisses along your jaw before burying himself into you, his hands flung up to grip the headboard, crying out at the sensation of feeling you mold to him. His head hung between his arms hovering inches above yours, he kept his eyes on yours as he began to thrust slowly. Tears form in his eyes again, everything he was feeling swimming in them.

"I - I'm sorry...I haven't" He starts trying to explain, but you didn't need an explanation. "Shhh. You're okay." You whisper holding both sides of his face tenderly. He didn't say any words, but his eyes thanked you for understanding. You sweetly smile and kiss him gently again, running your hands over the painfully tight muscles in his shoulders. After reassuring him, he gradually increased his pace until you couldn't help sinking your nails into his back, rocking your hips to match his rhythm.

"Fuck" Matt grunts against your neck, as you wrap your legs tighter around him to go deeper. He fucked you harder causing you to gasp, you could have never imagined Matt making you feel like this. The headboard began making cracking sounds under the pressure of Matt's hands, you looked up to see how hard he gripped it with both hands, causing his knuckles to become white. Unsure of his own strength at the moment, he let the frame take the force of him, gripping harder as you drove him mad with each thrust into your oasis.

"You feel so good Matt, I'm so close." You cry feeling your climax building. He moans at your words, lifting himself to see your face. You reach for the pillow beside you to muffle the scream you felt building in your chest the closer he pushed you to finish, but Matt tore it away from your face just as you begin unraveling.

"I want to see you cum y/n" He demands, on cue it makes you scream his name falling apart under him, finally gripping onto you to steady your thrashing body. Matt groans out at you squeezing around his pulsing cock, drawing out the last of your orgasm before he rushed to his knees retreating from you. You watch breathlessly as Matt takes himself in his hand to finish all over your stomach, with a hard jerk of his hips, his eyes fluttering trying to stay on you.

"Shit, that was so hot." You smile once you both could speak again. "Oh yeah?" He chuckles at you and then heads to the bathroom to get a washcloth. He returned handing you then warm cloth, awkwardness filling the air between you. The awkward tension that you feared would come from this.

"Uh, thanks" You mutter keeping your eyes down. Quickly wiping your stomach, and retreating to the restroom. Once the door was closed, you rested your head against it, taking in a deep breath as your body still tingled. You couldn't stop the smile that formed thinking about what just happened.

After gathering yourself and using the restroom, you walked back into the hotel room to find Matt gone. What did you do wrong? You look to the alarm clock that blinked 5:12, far too early for work. He just left without a word. You pick up your phone, noticing a text message from Matt.

Matt: Went to the gym

Is all he sent.

Reader: Be safe

You reply throwing the phone on the bed with a sigh. Now you were the one feeling lonely.

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