#also another note from me: i apologize for all those “they get it” “they dont get it”

[felizusnavidad]

"i don't think i'll ever understand musicals the way you do" is something i've heard from one of my friends a couple of days ago when i told him i'm about to cross the whole country just to see one of those (my favourite one!) live in theatre. and i can't blame him. if you'd have told me a year ago that i would do something like that, i'd probably have laughed in your face. life is so unpredictable. i guess i have changed a lot. and i could write thousands of essays about how musicals helped me get through the shittiest period of my life, but we are not going to talk about this today. today we are talking about in the heights, the first musical i got a chance to experience live in theatre, hopefully not last. so grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable, this is going to be the longest essay you've ever seen, friends.

a little warning: spoilers. a lot of them actually. so if, by any chance, you haven't seen/heard it yet and you are going to, don't read it.

first thing i feel like i need to mention is that they had this mini bar inside the theatre and you could order a lot of different drinks there and one of them was called abuela's coffee. i heard one lady explaining to someone that it's actually coffee with condensed milk. my jaw dropped and i was like CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER, PLEASE? for those who don't understand why, here's a quote from the first song:

USNAVI: abuela, my fridge broke, i got café but no con leche ABUELA CLAUDIA: try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk

so this was my first "OH! THEY GET IT!" moment (a little note here: i had a lot of oh, they get it moments, mostly because i don't have any people around me who understand musicals the way i do... honestly, you'd have to live inside my brain). that was the first time ever when i could actually be in the room where it happens with all those people who get it and care about it as much as i do (mostly actors and people responsible for the whole show tho, but we will get to this later).

let's get to the show. so when i finally went inside and i saw the stage, i already had tears in my eyes (don't judge me please). usnavi's store, abuela's door, daniela and carla's salon, all those puerto rican, cuban and dominican flags (one couple behind me was trying to figure out which one is which and it was funny because i knew and i wanted to scream)... listening and memorizing the whole soundtrack is one thing. being able to experience it all live is something else. all those things around me were so familiar and this was the first time in months (MONTHS! OR EVEN YEARS!) i felt really understood. after all, it was all like a little celebration of lin's story (the one i love with all my heart) and i truly felt like home. so that was another OH! THEY GET IT! moment.

i don't think i'm going to talk about every single song here, that's not the point. i will talk about my favourite moments, but also about things that didn't work very well in my opinion (again: this was a polish version so all the songs were translated into polish. and they did a really great job here, surprisingly. but it wasn't perfect, more about that later).

one thing you need to understand is that i will never be normal about musicals so of course i had to burst into tears at the very first song (i don't even know why, i think i was a little bit too excited). i was actually crying in the most random moments like when i first saw nina or at the end of carnaval del barrio because I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT (who the hell cries at carnaval del barrio when everyone is having the time of their lives lol, me apparently).

ok, so the first song. the choreography, oh my god. it was everything. the translation was also pretty good here, i need to say this was probably one of my favourite moments. imagine me leaving today giggling like a child when usnavi came on that stage and started rapping, i was in heaven. also, i have to admit, the cast was amazing. i could never imagine anyone better for this role (and again, i am talking about polish actors because everyone knows who's the best usnavi of them all). he was cute and charming and awkward and so adorkable and also really handsome. he was actually perfect in my opinion.

i kinda lost my mind when i saw nina for the first time. first of all: i already knew who was going to play her and let's just say i fell in love with this actress before i even saw her live on that stage. this was important to me, because (as some of you know) nina rosario is my favourite character. and oh my god, she was an absolute perfection. what a voice, sweet jesus. i'm being serious, this girl is so talented, give her every award (i honestly hope i will have a chance to see her again one day, i'm just crazy about her). and breathe was so good! polish version was amazing, i was so scared they would screw it up, but they didn't, so all's good (this song is very important to me, ok?). also, she's a phenomenal actress, i could feel all her emotions for real. and of course i cried, what did you expect?

i don't have that much to say about benny, except that he was really cute and he had amazing chemistry with nina, so once again, the casting was really good. i mean, he is not chris jackson of course, but i have decided i'm not going to compare all those actors because everyone knows at this point how much i love OBC, i was trying to have an open mind. vanessa was also pretty great, amazing voice and her dancing skills, wow, just wow. i could talk about all those actors for days actually, but i'm not going to do that, so i will just quickly mention that i absolutely loved daniela and carla, abuela claudia made me cry, sonny was the funniest character in the whole play and i don't think i will ever recover after piragua guy's performance (i was the only person in the audience who was laughing when he came on that stage, they don't get it, ok? polish people have no sense of humour and that's a fact). actually, there were a lot of funny moments (obviously) and i was the only person who was laughing, god help me.

so let's get to the first thing that was a little disappointing for me. you will not believe it, but it was actually... 96,000 (this is one of my favourite songs and i seriously can't live like this). it's not the translation tho (it was honestly fine), it's the voice overlapping part at the end (again, the best thing ever, just listen to we don't talk about bruno from encanto and non-stop from hamilton and you will understand why it works so well in every lmm's song). the thing is, you could actually only hear vanessa's part and i wanted to die, because EXCUSE ME. i always sing usnavi's part and you could barely hear a word from it. but apart from that, the rest was fine, the choreography was amazing and it's just something i needed to mention because i had thoughts about it.

paciencia y fe! ok besties, i have thoughts, again. abuela claudia was absolutely incredible, also, her relationship with usnavi is something that you can't see in the movie version (they were so sweet i wanted to curl up and die. i knew about it before, i saw slime tutorial with obc on yt, ok? i'm pretty sure lin would be mad at me for watching bootlegs lol. i just wanted to say this). the translation didn't work out at the very end of the song tho, because when in the og version abuela sings about the "winning ticket", everyone knows already she won the lottery. i don't remember polish translation exactly, but it was something with double meaning, depends on how you interpret it, and i'm 100% sure people who didn't know the plot just didn't catch it. the rest of the song was absolutely beautiful tho.

when you're home. i was so afraid of this one, because i am totally crazy about this song (did i ever mention lin wrote this one after one of his first dates with vanessa? no? yes? ok i'll shut up about this now). oh, they did a really great job with it and it's a relief. i have nothing else to say, except that i was crying like a baby, but this song always makes me cry so what did you expect exactly? one of the best moments for sure. again, nina and benny's chemistry was absolutely incredible.

as much as i loved the club, i was actually really disappointed with one part, which is usnavi's famous "jealous i ain't jealous, i can take all these fellas, wHaTeVaaaaa". i've been waiting so long for this! and they messed it up with their stupid cringy translation which i don't even remember at the moment but usnavi was actually mad at benny and he cursed? ANYWAY. the rest of the song was great and the choreography was absolutely phenomenal, oh vanessa! let me get the next one! (i love her so much, she was amazing here). a little note from me: no one was laughing at the "no hablo ingles" part, NO ONE BUT ME!!! THEY DON'T GET IT! WTF! i was so mad (i am aware of the fact that most people probably didn't even know this story before and they just wanted to see a musical, not THE MUSICAL, which is totally fine. but sweet jesus, where is their sense of humour? they left it at home or what?).

and blackout was that part where the voice overlapping effect worked very well, so all's good. actually, one of the best moments for me as well. people were actually so confused when all the lights went down, but that was just so amazing. all the panic! everybody was screaming, crying! WE ARE POWERLESS! THE END OF ACT I!!! oh, i had the time of my life.

i had this weird feeling that they didn't exactly know how to translate most of hundreds of stories so they just made this song shorter than it actually is. which is fine i guess. honestly, it's better than bad translation, so i can forgive them. what i absolutely can't forgive tho is that the audience wasn't laughing at US NAVY. polish people, you have no fucking taste. i said what i said. and then again, usnavi and abuela's relationship was so sweet this song actually made me cry (mostly because i knew what was coming but also, i was just this weird girl who was sitting there in the second row and was crying at the most random moments).

ok, guys, honestly. carnaval del barrio was the best moment from the entire musical. oh, how much i want to experience it again! daniela was absolutely incredible, carla was so sweet, piragua guy stole the whole fucking show for me (seriously guys! he was just so amazing!). also, those little details i have never noticed before? i can't even tell if the same thing happened in the original version (the quality of that bootleg is actually terrible), but benny dancing with american flag somewhere in the background was so fucking funny and i don't think i will ever get over that part where at the end they were all still dancing and celebrating and nina and usnavi just ran away as fast as they could because... because you guys know what just happened. also, this is the moment i started crying.

i was so scared of it. let me tell you one thing, i experienced abuela's death at least fifty times and i still cry every single time. so atención is something i have to mention, because all the emotions and kevin's shaky voice made me burst into tears right away, and this time i wasn't the only one because i saw a lot of people crying when they realized what happened (i also heard a lot of OHs when he said abuela passed away, so yes, most of them didn't know this story and they were surprised). and alabanza was something else. believe me when i tell you i am writing this with tears in my eyes, i have never cried so much in public. this was the moment i was the most scared of and i was absolutely right because holy fuck. i was a mess. all the actors with those candles singing alabanza a doña claudia! (yes, they didn't translate it, all the spanish parts were left like in the original version and i am so grateful for that), it was just so sad and so beautiful. and this time i was actually like oh, they get it now (everyone was speechless and people were crying).

everyone must know at this point how much i adore champagne and i wasn't disappointed (thank god!). once again, usnavi was absolutely adorable here and people were actually laughing this time (also thank god!). how do you get this gold shit off? (my favourite line from the whole musical) was translated really well and the moment when usnavi and vanessa kissed! with all lights on them! this was so emotional and the audience reacted so well! we were all clapping (it was so funny to pretend like i didn't know it was gonna happen haha i was just as excited as all of them and once again i was like OH! THEY GET IT!). 10/10, would recommend.

if you think i wasn't crying during the last song, think again. one thing i absolutely hate about the movie version is that they actually changed the graffiti that made usnavi stay in washington heights, but i'm not gonna talk about that and i'm not gonna talk about vanessa also being there in the movie. in the original version it was a portrait of abuela claudia made by graffiti pete and oh boy, i lost my mind (i knew about it but i still lost my mind because it was absolutely beautiful). i got the feeling it was a little rushed in our polish version, but i can forgive them because it still made me cry. also, at the very end, usnavi did not only finally acknowledge he's home, when the song was over he pretty much told the audience that we are all home right now and may i just say... i felt that. i was home. they made me believe for the first time in my life i was where i belong, and somehow that was everything.

one thing about me is that this is actually all new to me. this was my first musical i saw live in theatre (and also lin's first child, which is exactly how it was supposed to be i think), and believe me when i tell you i've never had this much fun in my entire life, not even at all the concerts of my favourite artists. it was worth every money. it was worth spending 11 hours on the train and 11 more on my way back home, which by the way we should normalize (people are doing crazy things just to see their favourite artists on the stage and it's considered normal, so why can't we consider THIS normal?). anyway, i don't expect anyone around me to understand it the way i do, but i feel like i really found my thing, and it's all because of lin-manuel miranda, our beautiful puerto rican genius. he made me believe musicals can be cool and i truly wish i could thank him for that one day.

and like i said, in the heights is my favourite story with my favourite characters and i listened to it so many times i have memorized all the little details. experiencing it live is something completely different tho and i think it's safe to say this was the best night of my entire life. even tho most of the people in the audience didn't really get it, i finally felt like i was a part of this world created by my favourite genius and for the first time ever i felt understood. so i think i can say that now: i found my island, guys, i'm there, i'm home!

#if you were able to read the whole thing: congrats #also another note from me: i apologize for all those “they get it” “they dont get it” #i swear to god i am not making fun of anyone #you guys just know how much i am into it #and if other people were just there to enjoy it it's totally fine! #not everyone has to be obsessed! #but i am! #so i just wanted to explain it ok? #good. #also i apologize for it being so long but i had so much to say and i still feel like i didn't say everything i wanted #feel free to leave a comment or ask any questions if you want #now if you think i will finally shut up about in the heights on my silly little blog think again #i love it even more now if that's possible #and another explanation: i'm gonna tag this as my countdown because again i want all my ith posts in one place #thank you for your attention #it won't be long now* #why do you write like you're running out of time* #(not gonna tag this as ith cause this is only for my moots cause you guys get it) #(the last time one of my ith posts was seen by people who dont even know what that is i was depressed for days but that's another story) #(iykyk) #(and you know cause you left me tons of sweet messages guys i love you)

[beaniegaebie]

i don't really have any solid conclusions about this yet but i noticed A Thing in a rewatch and i haven't found it mentioned elsewhere yet so here we go

(apologies for the appalling image quality you're about to see, i can't screenshot easily rn pls bear with)

OKAY so in the scene where crowley confronts gabriel about "shut up and die", something about the arrangement of book stacks caught my eye a little

the majority of the books are angled so that we mostly just see the page edges and not the spines clearly, EXCEPT for a particularly shiny and familiar colour combo right here-

but nothing too weird going on there, i thought, crowley coloured books in a bookshop so what? right up until i registered crowley's line when we get a closer look-

hhhhmmmmMMmmmm yes yes "everything just the way you wanted" huh, very interesting considering that we know how much thought goes into props huh

and for most of the shots we get of crowley in this position those freaking books are just quietly nestled right there in the corner-

look at that god damn framing i fuckin see you, you glorious bastards

so i paused to see if i could figure out what the hell was up with those fuckers and this is when i absolutely lost my mind, your honour

A and C you say?? in crowley colours???? framed like this?????? localised entirely within your kitchen???

anyway long story short they're two books from an Agatha Christie Crime Collection set (24 volumes, three stories per volume) and guess whats on the mfing front covers I'm-

(its a rant for another post but when paired with this other set of initials spotted in s2 i want to scream actually)

ANYWAY back to the books, through an absolutely unhinged comparison of the formatting of gold text blobs i reckon the two we have here are:

(on top) The Pale Horse; The Big Four, The Secret Adversary

(on bottom) 4:50 From Paddington, Lord Edgeware Dies, Murder in Mesopotamia

(I'm fairly confident but if anyone has a better image to confirm/correct this pls do)

now here is where I'll need a bunch of help from some Christie-heads out there bc I haven't read any of these and I've only seen the tv adaptation of one of them, so i dont know for sure if these are like A Clue, or A Cool Thing, or if I've just fully brainrotted myself into a fun lil corner here? wa-hoo

but here's some initial stuff that jumped out at me after skimming the basics:

(some of) the titles: Pale Horse/Big Four - death's horse ofc, the four horsemen mayb? the them+adam?? ; Mesopotamia is a very biblical choice bbz ; 4:50 From Paddington- azi likes trains i guess? idk that one's tenuous lmao ; honestly no idea with the other two but Secret Adversary feels a tad ominous

iirc Big Four just has kind of an unusual history, it was initially twelve short stories that she later compiled into one, and it was published fairly soon after christie's mysterious disappearance/reappearance

in Big Four, poirot fakes his death at one point and doesnt even let hastings in on it and I'm hoping sure its totally irrelevant to the ineffable bois

part of the Pale Horse story is a group of assassins that basically try to pass off all their murders as being actually caused by like ✨satanic powers✨ which is interesting

christie knew a fUCkton about poisonings thats why she wrote so many into her work and, while i don't believe the poison coffee theory myself, it sure is an interesting link with how cyanide is associated with almond smell/flavour and that metatron chooses almond syrup in particular

(ALSO random side note that is mostly meaningless but I've worked in a good few uk coffee shops and have never worked anywhere that stocks almond syrup; almond milk yes, hazelnut syrup yes, but never almond syrup...? prob just the places i worked though lmao)

EDIT forgotten point: I've seen some speculation that the bently's plate reading "CURTAIN" could be a reference to poirot's last story, along side that alternate scene of crowley ordering the sherry for "miss marple", its just one too many agatha christie references for my melted brain to handle and I'm SUS

so this is where i run out of idea steam and hand it over to you lot because i have no clue what this could mean, if it even means anything other than a cool set feature

is there something here actually or am i yelling into the void just for fun?

who knows, who cares!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens meta #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #agatha christie #hercule poirot #miss marple #can't wait to hear y'alls thoughts #SO WHY IS THERE A KNIFE THROUGH THE 'A' HUH #AND WHY IS THE 'C' ON THE CHALKBOARD SO FADED HMMM #GAIMAN EXPLAIN #things that make me go ngkk

[screaminglygay]

KINKTOBER day 1

pairing: siren! natasha x reader

summary: working on a boat sounds like a fun, but what if there is a cold weather?

word count: 3.6k

warnings: heavy manipulation!!!, mind control, toxic dynamic, humping a tail, dirty talk, just smut!, badly written description of what sailors do

an: so the time is here!!!! I’m exited and also anxious, aghh. I’d appreciate any of your feedback and don’t be scared to send me some thoughts! If there are any typos, i sincerely apologize, just let me know and I’ll fix it!

an2: there is a part that was inspired by hp and goblet of fire, i’ve changed most of it, but left some parts, since natasha is siren. felt like it was fitting. and it’s exactly how I imagine natasha’s style of singing.

(italics = your thoughts)

!MDNI!

Enjoy this spooky time and be safe!

Working on a coast was an incredible experience and for such a long time you were happy to have the oppurtunity to see new things, but most imporantily feel new things.

This spontanious work trip helped you with your mental health more than your therapist in years. You didn´t even mind working alone somedays, since your coworkers had some days shift off. You enjoyed those quiet days, where you didn´t even overthink, you just let your thoughts peacefully be and surprisingly they did the same thing to you.

Seeing things, the old things but with a different font was something you never get tired of. Everything was bigger and prettier. Colorfull sunrises and sunsets, bigger and shiny stars. But when the warm and fuzzy wind was changed by heavy rains and scary thunderstorms, you were really changing your opinion and wishing you were back in your comfy king sized bed, watching another stupid show on Netflix. Not everything was so colorful all the time.

Especially when the weather got cold and nothing was so warm and fuzzy as in the summer. When the first storm came you thought that you can hadle it, alone. You did, but barerly.

But from todays morning, you knew something big is coming and nothing could prepare you for that. You woke up and checked your phone, like you did every signle day and noticed you have one unread message, saying that your coworker, Tobias, can´t make it, because he got sea sick, from all the sailing he did this week. Which is little weird since you´re positive he´s been sailing the day he was born. But even the best of us can get sick sometimes. So youre all alone. You let out a big sigh. You werent mad, no. You were just little scared of the storm that might and most probably will come today.

When you finally got up and looked from the window you could feel that the wind was freezingly cold. Goosebumps begin to form on your arms and neck. The cold feeling seeps through your skin deeper, like a stealthy intruder, sending shivers down your spine. It's an icy touch that grips your body, making your muscles tense.

It´s gonna be a long day.

As always you packed your stuff, fuzzy socks, warm coat, another shirt just in case youll get wet. Lastly you took some snacks and a big amout of soup, hoping your heater wont let you down. And last but not least a lots of tea. As your boss always says "Tea and rum is better than a warm coat." Well you dont have the rum, but the tea will do, at least that´s what youre saying to yourself.

When you got to work, you checked all the papers from yesterday, made sure to know what your tasks will be today. And of course you had to check if the boat is in a good shape to sail the next day. It´s a lot of work, but at least you have a job to do. Not like a week ago, where you just sat and watch as the waves hit the rocks for 12 hours. You noticed that even waves have a simple patterns, its was so hypnotic to watch it hit the big rocks again and again and again.

You slowly checked all the papers to not miss anything important and undeerscore everything that you need to do today. You checked your watch and made a mental note to put the kettle on soon.

Youre working here for about a 5 months now and you still havent figured out your routine. Even though most of the times youre still doing the same job all over again, checking something, writing what needs to be fixed, checking the load, or just watching over the boat, you still do everything at the same time. So sometimes (read it as most of the times) you just forget to do the simple things as taking care of your basic needs. When you and Tobias have shift together, you two kinda take care of eachtoher, but when he´s not there it´s just so easy to forget about it.

But today you did quite good job, after checking the lower deck you came back up to unlock the kitchen and put the kettle on. When youre water was getting ready for your favorite and only tea you had here, you wrote some documentary about the first ship load you had to check. Everything was correct and you were happy that you didn´t have to unpack it and count it manually. Your first break of the day fly past very quickly as you finished your tea, that didnt make you feel warm at all. You put the cup in the sink and went on another round of checking the boat lower deck.

As you stood up something red caught your eye in the distance, you took a few steps closer to the window, hoping you would see better at what it is. It was weird seeing something so bright in the distance, where only the gray waves were moving. But to your disappointment, you didnt got the answer, it was probably some coral from the shore. You shake your head slightly and moved to another task.

When you came up you noticed that it was already dark outside, shockingly it was the same tempetrure as throghtout the day. Which was a positive thing.

How long have I been downstairs? What time is it? I didn´t have lunch... again.

As many thoughts at the same time speed through your mind, you heard something under the boat. You just closed your eyes, taking few deep breaths to calm your nerves. You put down the paperwork and the pen you were holding. Making your way to the kitchen, youve notice that you didn´t even drank much water. Cursing yourself, you drink a half of the bottle right away. The fresh water finally hitting your needs. Refreshing shockwave going through your body. Every cell awaken and all of your sences light up. Already feeling better, taking a moment to make soup and overall just refresh yourself. As you´re finishing your food, you hear it again.

Bang.

This time is was way louder, so you took all of your courage to go out and look what it was. Sometimes you were tought, or maybe you just act before you think things through. You were terrified of the dark and most importantly what´s in it, but this time something made you go out. You were surprised by yourself, but you didnt question it, much.

When you got out you checked the boat, slowly analyzing if something is wrong.

Was it an animal? A fallen brench into the water?

"Hello?" You immidietly cursed yourself. "Im an idiot." You mumble as you walk around. "There is no more pathetic and stupid way to die then just say hello to the dark." You mumble under your breath.

After a while walking around the boat a big strike apeared on the sky. And after few second of a complete silence there was a big thunder coming, that made you run back inside. There it was the big storm you were so terrified of. It was way worse than the last time and you were hoping to survive it.

That´s a little bit dramatic, but your heart was pounding fast, your hands started to shake and even in this cold you very still incredibly sweaty, like if you just ran a marathon in the desert. After few hours of tinkinkng you´ll die, the storm suddently stopped, leaving you all tired and scared at the same time. Until youve heard another sound, it wasnt another bang, it was more like a humming.

Maybe someone from the sailors is here? But they are all men. Maybe someones wife? Again, your thoughts are running milions miles per hour.

The humming sounds so warm, like the old days, back in summer, where everything was colorfull, fuzzy and it felt generally so good in your ears. You stood up and without second guessing you step outside. There was complete silence, not a single person outside, The sun slowly coming out, trying to fight those stromy clouds that were showing the only evidence of heavy storm.

As soon as your hand laid back on the door handle a beautfiul voice start to sing a melodic song. You didnt understand it, it was some language you never heard, but you liked it, your brain might not understand the words, but your body understood the melody. And suddenly you didn´t felt cold, it was the other way around actually. Your cheeks were on fire, like you were running a fever, but you didn´t feel bad, no, you actually felt the best you ever did.

When you turn around you saw her. Unbeiebly beaitiful, goddess looking woman. Her hair was red, not like an apple red, more like a bright fire that is keeping you warm at the coldest nights. Each strand seemed to catch the sunlight that was finally going up, setting her aglow with a vibrant, fiery aura. Her green eyes were pierced at you, she was looking at you, waiting for your move. But you just stood there and watched her, your breathing started to speed up. You tried to remeber evertything about her, but as soon as your eyes fell lower, you noticed how light her skin looked. It reminded you of a fresh marble that was just ready to be cast in. But what caught your off guard the most, was her tail. You´ve never seen aynthing like that and it was very obvious, because youre face made it very well known. It was mixed feeling between shocked and amazed. The siren's tail was a fluid masterpiece, a shimmering blend of oceanic blues and greens. With each sinuous movement, it created a mesmerizing scene.

"Hey sailor." she smirked, her voice sound way raspier than it did when she sang.

"I- I- I´m not a sailor. This is uh not my uh- boat... I just work here." You stutter out, cursing yourself for seeing the prettiest woman your eyes have ever laid on and you ramble out this sentence.

"You just work here? Oh what a pity, I wanted to ask for some help." The red haired frown, which made you feel sad right away.

"I can help! I just... not my boat." You awkwardly chuckled out.

Her eyes immidietly fell back on you. "Oh really? I don´t want to bother since you´re not the sailor of this boat." Her voice sounded so soft, yet harsh at the same time. It was luring you, by every word she said, you felt different emotion each time. A good emotions.

"I mean I´m on a shift now, so teoretically I am sailor of this boat." You smiled, youre pupils were so big and you felt like you were in euhporia.

She smiled softly. Her smile could make a whole army fall to their knees. You knew it, but most imporatnly she did too. But there was only one person she want to fall on their knees. And that person was you.

"Okay then, sailor..." her raspy voice now coming lower to your body, slowly eletrucing you. "I just need a little favor, my tail..." She let out a little whine, completly changing her body language. She didn´t seem so confident, she looked so fragile and sad. And you have to help her.

"Are you hurt?!" You imidditetly walk closer to her. Crouching so youre on the same eye level. She place her hand on yours, looking at you and finally, she bonded. Her touch made you feel cold and warm at the same time. Butterflies flying everywhere not just in your stomach and her eyes. Her captivating eyes has already read you like a whole book. Her eyes were an entrancing shade of emerald, deep and captivating like the hidden depths of the sea. They held an enigmatic allure, with a hint of mischief and ancient wisdom that drew you in, ensnaring your heart and mind.

"A little-" she sigh and looks away. "-maybe you can help me get back, to safety, where no one can find us." The soft spoken woman look at you, making eye contact again, while her hand is still on yours.

"Us?" Your words caught her off guard.

"Yes, us, darling. You know, not all people are kind as you are. Youre the only one who ever made me feel safe. Youre the only one i can trust now. Youre-" she blinks a few times, leaning closer to you. "-youre my saviour. Will you help me, darling? Help us to get to safety? The world is too cruel and we need to decide right now."

This was the task you were waiting your whole life on here. Make sure she is safe, there is nothing else that is more important than this. You nod, still making eye contact.

"I will. Of course!" You nod again, taking this job very seriously, as you felt like you were born for this.

"Say it. Say what you were made to do, darling." Raspiness was now the only thing that you´ve heard. You were less and less interested in your work and your tasks before her.

Before her there was... was there anything before her?

"I will help you. I will help us get to safety." Your eyes scanned her face, hoping these words will help her.

"Thank you my darling, will you follow me? Please?" her eyes were watery, she´s holing back tears and that tears your heart.

"Yes." You say without hasitation.

"Yes, what, darling?" She asks.

"Yes, uh-" suddnely you feel this sensation, your head feels fuzzy and your view is more and more bright. Your words are caugh up in your throat, when you looked at her lips you can see them moving, but your ears cant catch the word she´s saying. But your mind does.

"Yes, mistress." you whisper back as it´s the only thing you can say.

As you closed your eyes for a second, the world around you seemed to blur and fade. The warm feeling never leaving your side.

Time itself shifted, as if you were wrapped in a comforting cocoon. The soft, rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore became a lullaby and there is it was again. Her singing. Her soft and heart warming singing.

When you finally stirred, it was as if you had awakened in a dream. The dimly lit cave, adorned with iridescent seashells and many other decorations, that suited the cave. And there, before you, was a siren of unparalleled beauty, her emerald eyes reflecting the cave's soft luminescence.

"Hello, darling..." she slowly moved towards you "...slept well?" her smirk grew wider as she saw your hand immidietly going between your legs as there was some unbeliveble aching you were feeling.

"I- uh huh" You only nod, not realizing that your hand is going lower on your body.

The siren´s hand falls on your cheeks as she tuck some of your falen hair behind your ear. Not even for a second breaking eye contact. Without second thinking you grab her hands and put them on your body, that was covered in your wet clothes.

"P-please!" Was all you could have said. She just chuckled and squeezed your breasts.

"You don´t even know my name and you want me to fuck you? Aww darling, youre way easier than I thought you would be. So so so easy" She tsked and suddenly, you didn´t felt her hands on you anymore.

"I don´t care!" You yelp as the aching was even worse now. Is this what drugs do to you? You just want more and more and still it isn´t enough.

The siren looked at you shocked, her hand was placed on her chest as a sign of being offended. "Darling, you don´t care what my name is? That´s rude." She pout. Tears immidietly filling her eyes. "And I thought you don´t want to hurt me, yet you´re just like the others." She looked away.

"Wait- No, no, no! Im not like the others, Im sorry! Im so sorry! I want to know your name. Oh gosh I didn´t want to be so selfish!" You grabbed her arm. "Please, tell me your name, I bet it´s beautiful just like you!"

"You think Im beautiful?" Her green eyes falling back on you.

"Very." You nod.

"It´s Natasha." She wiped her tears.

"Okay, Natasha. Im sorry for being selfish, It was really mean, let me make it up to you, please." You felt so sad, like every joy just left your body forever. Like you didn´t even experience a single happy thing in your life. Like everything was just dark.

"You´re right, you did act very selfish and mean. And you should definetly make it up to me, (Y/N)." Natasha seems so small right now, like a small fish in a big dark ocean.

"Anything you want, just please- forgive me." You basically whined at this point.

"(Y/N), you truly hurted my feelings, I don´t know. How can i trust you not hurting me again?" The horrible feeling of guilt is forming not just in your stomach, but also in your head now.

Natasha looked really hurt by your words. And you felt like if you´ll lose her, you´ll lose yourself, forever.

You squeezed her hand. "I will never. How can i prove it to you? Please..." You knew this will work. "... mistress, let me prove to you, I won´t ever hurt you and Im truly so sorry!"

Her eyes shifted, her pretty green color in her eyes just dissapeared and turned into black.

"Take of your clothes. They´re wet, you will get sick. Aren´t you cold, darling?" At her words you did feel the cold breeze. Actually you were freezing.

"Y-y-yeah, Im freezing." You said while your teeth chattered.

"Oh, darling! Clothes off, righ now!" She ordered and you did as she told. "I don´t want you catch a cold!" Her voice was caring, so caring you didn´t think you deserve it, after how mean you´ve been acting towards her.

As you stand there, completly naked the shivering didn´t end, it got even worse and your nipples could cut dimonds now.

"You´re still cold? Oh, darling, come here." She pointed at her tail. "My tail is warm, it´s gonna keep you from freezing to death." Her smile could cure everything negative thing in this world.

Without second guessing you almost jumped at her, your hand wanting to touch her tail, but you stopped yourself. "May I? Mistress?" Natasha just nodded. You hand immidietly touching her tail.

It´s so soft, oh my god and warm! So so warm.

"Sit on it, darling." She take your hands and guided you on her tail. "It will make you warm, so warm, it will end the shivers, I promise."

So you did. You sat on her tail and if you felt tingles everywhere before, then now there are tignles even in places you don´t have. Running your fingers along its sleek, supple surface was like caressing a piece of heaven. Its velvety texture and gentle, soothing warmth enveloped you in a sense of euphoria, as if you were touching a living embodiment of comfort and enchantment, a sensation that melted away all of your less important other thoughts.

Natasha noticed you´re still shivering and put her hand on your hips. "Darling, if you start to move you will stop shivering. Fast friction makes heat and you really need to be in heat now, darling." Natasha was right, her words were exactly what you needed, but you just didn´t know how.

How can I do this? I don´t want to hurt her tail.

"You won´t hurt my tail, darling. I will guide you, okay?" Her strong hands squeezed your hips and slowly made you move back and forth. "Just like that, you´re doing so good."

After a little while you start to get the hang of it and you felt that amazing friction again. Everything started to feel so good, all the lost joy, all the good feeling are back. All the happy thoughts.

"Oh my god- it´s really working!" You screamed.

"I know, darling. I can feel you on my tail. Keep going." She wispered in your ear.

You did. Oh boy, you did. You moved your hips back and forth faster and faster. And at the same time it got easier, maybe it´s the tail, or maybe it´s the fact that your juices were all over Natasha.

You definetly felt the heat.

Few moments before you came and let all of your juices on the siren´s tail, she started to sing again. In the same language you couldn´t understand before, but you can now. It´s like you know the song all your life.

"Come seek us where our voices sound,

We cannot sing alone in the dark,

And while you're searching, ponder this:

We're gonna take what you'll sorely miss,

But not for long you gonna think,

Let us help, and you won´t sink.

Your life might have been so perfect,

Too late, it's gone, it won't come back."

After the red head stopped singing, she looked at you and finally closed the gap between you two. Your first kiss was a moment of exquisite tenderness, a meeting of souls that overlap the boundaries of land and sea. As their lips brushed together, it was a gentle, captivating exchange of warmth and desire. In that soft, lingering kiss, they found a connection that was as deep and boundless as the ocean itself, a love that defied all expectations and left you utterly in her arms.

"I forgive you, darling." Natasha said and you knew, you found your life task. As she holds you close on her tail your eyes fell back into the warm fuzzy feeling, you didn´t mind be in forever.

Hope you enjoyed first day of KINKTOBER!

Thank you for reading!!!

#adele writes #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #kinktober 2023 #marvel universe #natasha romanoff smut #siren!nat #first day

[starillusion13]

A Night for Apology

Pairing: bf! Hongjoong x f! reader x bf! Yunho

Genre: Angst, Smut, Non Idol au, Mature

Warnings: very suggestive things, mature themes, mention of ( brat, bitch), boyfriends being angry with you, controlling and possessiveness (don’t know what more to add, if these all are giving you hints what more can be there so be aware of it please)

W.C: 3.6k

Note: My horny ass for pissed off Yunho and Hongjoong made me write this after watching a reel on the insta so bear with my work.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere

@yeoobin @anyamaris (I know you both are down for mad Yunho and Joong)

MINORS DONT INTERACT UNDER THE CUE!🔞

🩶

*under the cut*

“Where are you now?”, your friend is asking you for the third time this evening. She is calling you for past two hours but you were not picking up as you were not sure whether you can go to your destined place for today. The plan to spend the whole day at your friend’s place for a girls’ sleepover was planned last week when you all four suddenly met at the mall. It was all fine until today when you received a call from your boyfriends telling you they can be possibly home before the date of return. You were tensed after the call but somehow made up your mind to take a final decision and picked up your friend’s call when it was the fourth time for the missed call.

“I will be there in thirty minutes.” You are staring at the mirror while on the call to check your look for the nth time before heading out. With one hand, you hastily packed up all the necessary belongings for the sleepover in your vanity bag and the other hand is still busy pressing the phone to your ears to hear your friend ramblings.

“Are you sure you will be coming today? Our meeting was supposed to be started two hours back but neither we saw any sign of your coming nor you were picking up the call. Are you okay?” The phone got snatched away from your friend. A rather louder voice spoke up now.

“If you have any problem then we can arrange this for another time.” Another time? Oh, not possible. This is the only chance you have until your boyfriends return from the business trip. If your boyfriends get to know about your today’s plan then it would not go well for you.

“Oh! its okay, both of you relax, I will be there soon. Don’t worry too much.” Switching off the lights and locking the door of your grand house, you walked towards the main street. You can’t take your car because they have taken your keys away as you are being disobedient to them for last two months. They have banned you for going out when they found out your sneak outs with your friends with whom they have warned not to meet. It’s not like they don’t want you to meet with others but they don’t trust two of your friends as they think those two don’t have good intentions to you. But you being persistent and still going to meet your best friend where those two friends will also be there.

 It’s okay as far as they are not aware of this.

Getting inside the cab, an uneasy feeling settles down at the pit of your stomach as to what can possibly happen if they ever get to know about today. The ring of a phone call takes you out of your thoughts, without looking at the id you picked up hoping to hear your friend’s voice.

“Y/N where are you?” your eyes go wide on hearing the deep masculine voice for which you double check the id and it shows ‘Yuyu’. Pity you, being always in a hurry leads you to this situation. Not coming with a fast excuse rather you cut the call when the driver made the horn sound indicating your arrival to your friend’s place. You still looking at the screen which went black for getting turn off after thirty seconds of screentime. Dim street lights are still enough to reflect your shocked eyes into the tiny phone screen. Debating in your mind for the 5th time, you made up to go back to your house. Telling the driver to drive you back, you quickly sent a text to your friend telling her about your sudden headache to which she insisted you to take rest and not to think about turning them down like this.

The whole ride back to home was a mental battle for you and your thoughts as to what to tell him after calling him back. Well, you are a bit confused as why neither one of them yet called you back when you without replying a word cut the call back then. You are looking at the phone screen in anticipation to get a call but silence; neither a call nor a single text. Maybe they are busy in any business deals or so, they would might call you back later so you need to prepare some believable excuses before the interaction. You were so lost in thoughts that you didn’t notice the cab pulled in by the main street stop. It was prepaid so you quickly got down and head towards the house. The silence of the night is contrasting the loud thoughts inside your head, the shiny backless short dress making you the brightest star on the street.

Unlocking the door, your senses hit with a familiar smell of a perfume. Why is this smell so strong now? Switching on the lights, you keep your bag on the top of door side cupboard, back still facing the main area of the living room.

“So, you really went there again?” there is someone in my house and this smell all around, so that means he is here.

Turning around you face the reality of the current situation, Hongjoong sitting on the centre sofa with legs spreading wide with elbows placed on the knees and hands joined above with chin on top of it, eyes staring daringly to you.

“Ho-hongjoong?........” you are still shocked to see him at this hour here. They were supposed to return next week but the early return was not expected to be so early.

“What? Why are you like a cat being caught?” giving you his wicked grin.

“You are back so early? I-I didn’t expect you to be here.” He is still wearing his outside clothes; the black leather jacket with funky black jeans and a black tee inside. You looked around to find any trace of other presence when you noticed a bigger size black jacket placed on the handle of the other sofa and now you are sure Yunho might be taking shower in upstairs.

“Are you not happy or are you disappointed as we are interrupting your brat routines of sneaking out to places you are being banned to?” he is not joking, he is dead serious with you even though he is grinning. His eyes are travelling all over your body, under his gaze you are really feeling exposed also your dress is not helping but adding the anger in him. His expression is dark full with anger but lust in his eyes. The cold air of air conditioner is hitting your skin making you realize you need to change the attire and also not to become the prey to the person before you. You hesitantly placed few hairs behind your ears and breaking the eye contact with the eyes which are now focused to your movements, you turned towards the stairs.

 “Where are you going now?” the question made you stop in your tracks in a fast reflex. You have already messed up the situation and also don’t have well prepared explanation and now without giving him a proper reply, you are going to your room. Is it really a good way to escape?

“I will just go to my room. I’m fe-feeling sick right now.” Your stuttering never helped you to act strong in front of them.

“Really? Come here.” Joong signalled you to sit beside him on the sofa.

 “No no its okay. Its just a minor headache, I can take care of myself.”

“Headache? The one suddenly occurred after the call from Yunho?” dang! How does he know about your excuse to your friends?

“I really d-don’t know what you are talking about.” You just want to run away from this house and hide in a place somewhere where they can’t find you until everything about today is forgotten.

“Oh my poor baby. I think your memory is becoming short then . You might be thinking so much about something.” The words are so soft but you know this is him mocking you with a dangerous look on his face which is only caused when he is mad at you. After warning you so many times, you still went to meet those friends even without asking them for once.

“Come here.” He blankly stated while staring at you the way he would jump on you anytime if you try to move in any other direction.

“Look, you are not going to control me or tell me what to do.” Wow. The strong woman is appearing in you. You are really pissing this man to the edge. Edge? The man stood up abruptly and with quick steps came in front of you facing close to you. He glared at you in a way, you can melt down in that place right at that moment. He holds your hand and the grip is way tighter and then pulled you towards the sofa and made you sit with him. The sudden bending made your tight dress to ride up the thigh a bit exposing lot more skin. He glanced there but quickly looked up to glare at you.

You tried to glare at him as well but miserably failing when a hand comes near your forehead to wipe away the hairs and then he pressed four fingers to your forehead. He might be a menace but a softie if you are sick or when you need something. He smirked at you when he caught you staring at him.

“Don’t have a fever so I suppose you don’t have that little headache as well.” Hearing his statement, you scoot backwards to run away from there. You are now leaning to the cushioned handle of the sofa, Joong keeping his one arm over the headrest of the sofa and lifted one leg on the sofa slightly bending the knee joint to sit comfortably facing you.

“I’m sorry……” you whispered.

“What? Speak loudly. I can’t hear you.” Joong is no more smiling but having a pissed off look which is referring to your deeds have surpassed his limits of temper.

“I’m sorry Joong.” You look down feeling guilty and keep on fiddling with your two thumbs. He loves you a lot but why you are still not listening to their warnings. They have always treated you like their princess but still their possessiveness sometimes is way too much. But no matter what you love them the most, they mean your world and the only family.

“I don’t think you are really sorry.” That’s it. You are going to say the world good bye this night. This voice alone can make you fall on your knees and ask for forgiveness. The new guest in between the moments of you and Joong is the real menace. While the other one can be a softie for few moments but this one is a total egotistic. You craned your neck to the direction of the voice.

Standing at the last step of the stairs with wet hairs and a white t-shirt with a casual trouser. The fresh lavender smell filled the atmosphere of the room. The tall frame throwing daggers at your small frame from the distance. He is totally looking like a fresh meal but to your disappointment you are not getting it unless you are sincerely apologizing to them.

“Yuyu, I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t call me that when you are just going to be a disobedient girl later.” You tried to pout at him but his glare made you shut up.

Distracted with Yunho, you didn’t notice how Joong’s eyes travelling longingly over your every exposed skin, literally eye fucking you. You felt tug in your hands and suddenly Joong pulled you on his lap.

You yelped on this sudden act and you can feel a different sensation in your stomach.

“What should we do with you?” Joong whispered.

“Joong…..” you moan out his name when his hands trail upon your thighs and on your back which is exposed because of the backless dress. His warm hands giving the perfect feels in the cold room.

“Don’t give her the satisfaction for anything Hongjoong.” You can hear Yunho speaking behind you. His presence is near to you yet far away to feel his touch.

“I’m not going to give her anything when she is just being a bitch like this.” Joong spoke glaring at you. You are so immersed to feel his touch, your eyes shot open on hearing his words.

“No….why?”

“Why?” Titling his head, Joong asked you. You felt a third presence on the sofa just right behind you.

“You are really disappointing Y/N.” Hearing your name from his lips for the first time this night making you feel excited and anticipated of what can happen next. The large hands coming up to your scalp brushing the hairs and then messaging it when you felt a harsh pull to make you face the owner of the voice.

“She is really enjoying this.” Joong spoke up while playing with your fingers.

Yunho leaned his back on the cushion handrest and spread his long legs in front of him reaching to both side of your frame on Joong’s lap. He signalled Joong to make you sit between his long legs with your back resting to his chest, your legs are now spread similarly like him but so tiny compared to him. Joong made himself comfortable and sat facing you both.

“So, as you know this was your last warning.” Yunho’s deep voice near your ear and his vibrating chest in contact with your back is igniting the sensation in you but you know you are helpless in this situation when he is just so mad at you.

“I said am sorry but you both should know that you can’t always control me in every situation.”

“This is too much. You have disobeyed us and now arguing with me.”

Joong chuckled and now your attention is to the opposite male. He moved a bit forward to slightly hover your tiny frame. The hand in your hair is no longer there but tracing over your sides slowly, very slowly.  You tried to move a bit forward but you were held back by Yunho. He is gripping your forearms tightly to make you still. Your thighs rubbed together to feel any sensation to reduce the heat and wetness pooling between your legs. Hongjoong noticed your actions when he placed his knee between your thighs to separate them. You close your eyes in frustration for loosing friction.

Yunho’s big hand slaps your bare thigh to make your eyes water on the burning sensation on the skin. You look back towards him and see him devilishly smirking at you on your helpless state. Again, you move your attention towards Hongjoong. Yunho’s hands travel a bit upwards to lower your thin straps of your dress down exposing your shoulders and the upper chest. Joong eying the actions of his friend. They might be once close friends but their common interest on you and you accepting them made them become closer. Suddenly his eyes met yours.

“If you are thinking, you will be repeating this again and getting treated like this so good then you are wrong baby. We are just preparing you for the punishments later you will be receiving. I might let you slide sometimes but yunho would never.”

“I will never. Why don’t you listen to us?” his fingers intertwined with your one hand and your other hand is playing with Joong’s fingers.

“I really wanted to meet them. They are my friends after all.” You said looking at where Joong’s knees separating your thighs.

“They are not your friends. They always try to distract your mind by telling you that we are not nice people and you should stay away from us. Despite you keep on insisting to meet them. At this point I think you are starting to believe them.”

Yunho’s grip become tighter on hearing Joong. He can’t deal with any of such nuisance when anything is bothering you or his relationship between your or with his friend.

“No!....I don’t  believe them…..”

“When we have already warned you from meeting them, you started to sneak out and lying us that you are going somewhere else.” Hearing the voice laced with anger from behind you made you realize that how disappointed they are with you.

“Look at me.” You glanced up to see Joong’s face is so near to you. He added, “your friends keep telling you that you should find another man for yourself who will be better than us and you without ignoring them, still being friends and even meeting with them often.” His thumb brushing your lips and then gripping the jaw tightly. You tried to move your hands up to hold his hand but got held back when Yunho locked your hands to both of your sides.

“You are not in charge in what to do. We will be controlling this tonight. We will be punishing you in such a way that when your friends meet you next time can know that you are claimed by us for the lifetime and no other man should ever think of coming near to you nor getting a chance with you.”

Joong smirked on his friend’s words. His glanced at yunho and then slowly comes near to your face that you can feel his mint breath and he kissed you. He is not kissing you but totally devouring on you and your lips is his last meal. He moved his knee a bit forward and pressed it to your heat. He paused for a moment before taking off his jacket followed by his black tee. He is only in his jeans now and again he smashed his lips on you. Your fingers are aching to touch those abs in front of you but this is not happening today.

Joong pulled you towards him in between the kisses when he bit your lips to enter your mouth. Meanwhile, yunho takes off his t-shirt and Joong again pushed you back to his friend’s chest. Your bare back coming in contact with the bare chest of Yunho making your back arch a bit and toes curling in the sensation of his abs. You can feel something poking in the lower back. You are closing your eyes to take in this intimate position. You tried to move your body to Joong’s knees but you were restrained.

“Stay in place. You are not getting anything.” Yunho commanded.

Breaking the kiss while gasping for air, you whispered “please……”

“What?” Joong wiping the saliva from the corner of his mouth asked you.

“I need you both……”

“No!” Yunho again slapped your thighs and your watery eyes needily look towards Joong.

“I can’t do anything now if you are asking for help as I’m equally pissed off with you.”

Suddenly you felt wet kisses over your shoulder and hands busy removing the hairs from your neck and shoulders and keeping them in a high knot over your head. Yunho is griping your hairs tightly in his big hands. Biting and kissing all over your exposed neck and shoulders with Joong’s knee to your heat is taking to your edge of neediness. You closed your eyes and moaned out loud when Yunho bit just below the ear as he knows your sweet spot where you are most sensitive. 

“Yunho…..”

“Oh! My baby is enjoying this then we should stop here.” Joong spoke in between pushing the dress upward from your thighs exposing more of your wet heat. He bent one of your legs and kissing them from the knees trailing to the inner thigh, still pressing the knee to your heat.

Your eyes shot open, “No please….this is too much…I can’t take this anymore….”

“I’m tired so……I want to go to my room”, You added thinking to get off this frustration off on your own inside your room.

Yunho huffed and harshly made you turn towards him. “You don’t speak here today when the fault is yours. Suffer like this or I have some other ways to make you follow my orders.”

“Well, I know something to make it more fun.” Joong suggested while standing up from the previous position. You lose every contact with him which makes your heat ache more for any friction to the spot. Standing beside the sofa, he takes in your form with Yunho. He smirked to the view in front of him before signalled you both to stand up.

“what’s more fun to you?” yunho questioned his friend.

“Isn’t she tired then we can all take a shower all together.”

“No I- “

“Oh! That.” Yunho made himself and you to stand up from the sofa. Your dress falling down exposing your whole figure only in your underwear in front of the two males. Yunho eyed your whole frame a bit longer before smirking at you and then looked towards Joong who was already halfway through the stairs.

“Let’s resume this game from where we paused in there. Right tiny?”

“That’s going to be a long night to accept your apology baby.”Joong loudly alert you from the stairs.

(Let's be friends if you are in need of any friend. Also, I like to hear from my beautiful readers if they liked about any sudden parts in the fic so please do tell me.)

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #hongjoong x reader #yunho x reader #poly ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez smut #ateez poly #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez au #ateez yunho #ateez hongjoong #ateez hard hours #cultofdionysusnet #kvanity

[gaoau]

you'll never resemble a human, so stand up on your claws and kill your own God

theory of the two demons warnings — this is set in the bsd beast universe, so if you havent read/watched that, i do not recommend reading this. theres spoilers and it probably wont make much sense anyway if you dont know what the fucks going on for everyone else that has read beast, have fun word count — 5.5k note — bonus 😝😝

prev.

"have you ever heard about the theory of the two demons?"

"i haven't. what does it say?"

"that to combat a great evil, you need an even greater evil. say, for uprisings against the government, the government can suppress the people with forced disappearances, for example."

"so it's bad against worse?"

"precisely. it cancels out. it reaches a point where evil is just the norm. a demon against another demon; do you get it?"

"i see. like… fighting fire with fire. only a demon can kill a demon."

"yeah, that's… that's a good analogy."

"where did you find this theory? it seems interesting."

"that's not important. i just thought you'd like to know about it."

"why's that?"

"so you don't resent me after i'm dead."

"i'd be surprised if you're actually mortal at all."

"now that's a very cursed thing to say, [Name]."

"my apologies, boss."

[Surname] [Name] is not required for his plans by any means, Dazai knows, but there's a needle of an unnamed feeling pricking him on the back of the head. he sits in Mori's office, reading old newspapers from two or three years ago. it's his latest special interest, so Mori doesn't question it and keeps supplying him with new material. but Mori also questions it, because Dazai doesn't give anything that isn't worth it the time of day. it is an interesting topic, he admits, but it raises his suspicions just as much.

strange murder cases across Japan are not uncommon, what with ability users running wild. he tries not to think much of it. he can't, though, not when Dazai excitedly gasps, "Mori-san! this one could be useful!" as he points to a particular article from Nagoya. spontaneous deaths concentrated in a relatively small radius—likely the work of an ability. an interesting one. one that Dazai knows he doesn't need. one that Dazai hears murmurs of from unilateral memories.

Mori hums, "what is it?" he wonders what could have possibly caught the demon prodigy's eye. but as soon as he glances over to the newspaper and the bold kanji from two years ago, a chill runs down his spine.

"spontaneous deaths, no signs of physical trauma or any diseases, unrelated and irregular victims," Dazai starts listing off. Mori knows this case like the back of his hand. "it's clearly an ability user, wouldn't you agree?" Mori's had his eye on this one for the past two years. "probably a child, too, seeing how erratic they are."

Mori thinks Dazai is aware of a lot more than he's letting on.

"we should fetch them like we did with Q. they might be an ability worth having in the mafia's arsenal."

Mori blinks blankly at the cunning child staring right back into him with an unassuming grin. suggestions of a mind with normal thoughts, those abnormal people wouldn't be able to fathom. because Dazai is not special, however his schemes may play out. he offers him a smile, a bit more strained than he wishes to express. "okay, Dazai-kun, i'll leave that to you." 

and a parallel story comes to life—a story where kids can't cry, but they can pray for their lives.

it's easier to find something when knowing exactly where to look for it. Dazai doesn't waste any time paying a visit to the ruins of a research facility in Nagoya. whatever shall be rebuilt from these remains, he'll make sure it doesn't impact his plans. admittedly, he doesn't know what is waiting for him at the next location on his to-do list. among the rubble and the blood, he finds a stainless steel bracelet. he knows who it belonged to and he knows where to keep it for the sake of repentance.

after his short detour, he makes his way to Shizuoka. he's all smiles and innocence when he speaks to the lady in charge of orphaned children. when he's allowed inside and the woman calls [Name]'s attention, he hears the echo of a gunshot ringing in his ear. he remembers cursed words meant to follow him in every new page.

[Name] is sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall and taking up space as their legs are stretched out. one of their little brothers—Dazai doesn't know which one—sits against them, holding a book. as soon as the woman calls their name, [Name]'s head shoots up. they pat their sibling on the shoulder, chuckling at their childish whining, before approaching their beckoning mother. she introduces the two to one another with a warm grin and promptly leaves them to talk in private.

as they're sitting outside, watching children of all ages play with a ball, Dazai presents them with the cheap bracelet. "do you recognize this?" he prompts them to take it, but they don't budge. they scan the jewelry with their eyes briefly. then they shake their head. Dazai sighs, returning the bracelet to his pocket.

he lets silence settle between them, leaving space for [Name] to ask any questions. without stained walls and dying children, he wonders what this version of [Name] has to say to him. how sharp are their teeth? how deep do they bite? how much do they burn? but they don't look at him as they say, "i don't know who you are or what that bracelet is." they flinch when one of their siblings falls face first on the grass. their eyes are soft, without any trace of fear. "why are you here?"

amiability and [Name] are dissonant, Dazai thinks, but truth stands that the looming cloud of anger clinging to their shoulders doesn't exist here. he considers the many paths he can take them down, between violence and comradery. "listen," he starts, choosing to stand neutral where he knows he shouldn't disrupt, "it's your choice, but the ability you have—" [Name] snaps their neck towards him, "—is very useful, and a lot of less than nice people will come to get you for it." 

the last time [Name] used Mirror Mirage was two years ago. the last person to ever know about it was a man in a lab coat. "i'm past using my ability. it's been long enough." with their family and their life, they hardly feel the need to steal from others anymore. they look Dazai in the eye with a passive stare, harmless, curious, willing. the stare of an older sibling scolding him for acting so childishly.

"about that…" he trails, rising from the bench. he can't see [Name] from his peripheral vision. he knows [Name] has no hostility within them unless he gives them some. "i was told to burn this orphanage down just to get you. but i'm being nice about it." and he won't give them any reason to bare their teeth. he's learned his lesson. he knows better from his own parallel mistakes. "you're a smart kid, aren't you?"

"are you extorting me?"

"not quite, i'm just looking out for you." a chuckle slips from his tongue. there's a fine line between his lies and his benevolence. it seems he cannot change his ways—he can only make them softer.

[Name] purses their lips in thought as they ponder over his words. "will everyone here be safe if i go with you?" they crane their neck to look up at him. he's not that much taller than them, even while standing up, wearing nothing but black, hiding behind his bangs and bandages. he still feels unreachable, too big and too lonely, like he takes up too much space whether he wants to or not.

"you can watch over them yourself," Dazai reassures them. he takes a step and turns to face them, offering them his bandaged hand.

"okay then." without a moment's hesitation, they reach for his fingers. they rise to their feet. "i'll go with you."

"welcome to the Port Mafia, [Name]."

Dazai feels in their hand the moment they realize exactly who he is and where he comes from. they blink owlishly at him as he smiles back without a trace of animosity. [Name] relaxes their muscles, now knowing they've made the correct choice. later that same week, they meet again with the man in the lab coat; the head of the Port Mafia itself.

it's fleeting, [Name] realizes, but it's very much there—the unadulterated, baseless animosity creeping up their legs. when they walk into the training room on their first day, Dazai is waiting for them while leaning against the wall. they see it in his eye as he turns his head to look at them. it's a hollow stare, a bottomless pit of strife, reaching out in echoes from the sobs of a child. his lips curl into a small smile. [Name] feels the hairs on their nape bristling in alarm, like there's a bigger threat looming nearby, but all they can see is Dazai.

and Dazai, with that look in his eyes and that simper on his lips, is not a threat at all.

when he's standing so close to them, when he isn't hiding in the sunlight, he feels much smaller. it's almost as if they could see his hands shaking. it's almost as if they could see the tears wanting to overflow. there's a stirring in their stomach where pain bubbles, purely and innocently. Dazai is so, so far away.

he pushes himself off the wall and stands across from [Name]. stepping closer, he finds it unusual to not see their muscles tense in alarm. then he remembers the usual hasn't been established yet. "those scars…" his sentence dies down as he tastes the words. they feel familiar on his tongue, so he finds a way to flip them upside down. "do you want to die, [Name]?" his eye casts down to their uncovered arms. they look the same.

"i'm sorry?"

a sigh tumbles from his lips. "your scars, those are self-inflicted."

"ah." instinctively, [Name]'s fingers reach up to touch their neck. Dazai doesn't look at them. "there was a time, back in the labs. i've grown out of it." they speak nonchalantly, shrugging their shoulders and acting like craving death was nothing more than a short phase. a little something they tried for fun and stopped once they got bored of it—it doesn't follow them, it doesn't cling to them, it has left them alone because they don't want to die anymore.

"why?"

"what do you mean?"

"why did you want to die?"

he sees how [Name] stops to give it some thought. their eyes flicker down and to the side briefly, then return to him, alive. "i'm not sure. it was just easy."

"those tests they ran on you," he prompts.

"yeah." they blink and something flashes in their eyes. it's unnoticeable, but Dazai can see it clearly. he considers briefly, just briefly, keeping his mouth shut. [Name] continues with an explanation that only makes sense to normal people like themself and Dazai, "living things became trivial."

"and by consequence, so did you."

[Name] nods. it's odd, they think, how easily he understands without them explaining a jumbled mess of forgotten thoughts. maybe it isn't that odd, especially considering he's read their files already. "do you want to die, Dazai-san?" but they see him as soon as their question slips from their tongue.

"yes."

in a quick answer with no hesitation, [Name] sees the innocent boy on the verge of tears. he's gritting his teeth and covering his ears with trembling hands. [Name] grimaces, because the closer they try to step, the smaller he becomes. so scared, so lonely, so vulnerable. they feel sorry for him. they pity him. he feels just like another little sibling from the orphanage, one [Name] could easily hold until his breathing settles down again. but as soon as they blink, he fades away, melting into the shadows where they can't reach. in his stead, they meet Dazai's hollow stare.

[Name]'s fingers twitch on instinct. "can i ask why?" they think, ignoring the bristling hairs on the back of their nape, that Dazai has been standing alone and alienated for far too long.

"some may call me a fool," he answers, voice light and airy, shrugging it off like it's something he's heard a billion times before. but then [Name] feels it again, when he looks them right in the eye, the unnerving animosity trying to drag them down. it's as if he's looking at someone else—looking at words he's heard from the same voice, but not quite the same person. "others," he emphasizes, "may call me a coward."

[Name] recoils. they take a step backwards. that statement—that complaint—was not directed at them, [Name] understands, but it was directly for them.

Dazai lets a chuckle drift into the silence. he recognizes he shouldn't be speaking anymore. he recedes and takes his contempt off [Name] with him. "is that enough of an answer for you?"

"i think… it's your choice." ([Name] tries—wants—to understand.) "whether you want to tell me or not."

they don't bite. "you're a lot more agreeable," Dazai hums. in a world in which he hasn't stolen anything from them, [Name] has no reason to bite back. if he hadn't been so childish, maybe they could have held a conversation like this in the right story.

[Name] contemplates asking for clarification, but they keep their mouth shut as Dazai steps closer. he feels small again. he's a kid. he's nothing but a kid, all over again.

with weightless steps, he stands a few feet away from [Name]. "attack me with all you've got."

Dazai can recite this scene from memory. [Name] hesitates, argues, and he makes sure they understand where their loyalties should lie from the get-go. he's long decided to teach them the same lessons in a different way. their attack is as predictable as the first time; he wastes not a single second striking his leg against their ribcage. as [Name] bounces off the wall, Dazai sighs to himself.

"lesson number one," his voice echoes through the training room, "don't rely on your ability alone." he watches unblinking while [Name] struggles to pick themself up from the floor. "you're gonna need a lot of martial arts training."

[Name] can barely register any of his words when their mouth is overflowing with blood.

Dazai gives them time to stand back up on their feet. quietly, he turns towards the door. "that's all for today." [Name]'s blurry eyes follow him as he begins heading out. his back is so, so small. "the closest infirmary is on the ground floor. same time tomorrow, yeah?" he stops at the door, glancing over his shoulder.

finding support on the wall, [Name] clutches the forming bruise on their side, stumbling in an attempt to stay balanced. their head spins, but they answer, "…yeah, okay…" despite the sickening taste of blood on their tongue.

"i'll use a gun, so be ready."

"…gotcha."

[Name] listens to their own choked breathing and takes a moment to properly stabilize themself. Dazai hears an echo in his brain, voices from the dead he has never heard, but he nonetheless remembers. it haunts him, whether he wants them to or not, because wisdom only has worth when a writer is dead. he takes it upon himself to not stress [Name] out too much. promptly, he exits the training room, leaving the door wide open for [Name] to follow once they gather their bearings again.

they think, while heading for the door, that Dazai is simply a lonely kid drowning in future regrets.

Dazai knows better than anyone—or rather, he's the only who knows—that he cannot interfere where he isn't allowed. the best example of this is [Name]'s natural gravitation towards Chuuya. he lets the years pass, working for things to play out the exact same way, changing the course only where it's needed for his plan. while he's busy throwing a quiet tantrum in a former assassin's apartment, he leaves [Name] in Chuuya's hands.

Nakahara Chuuya has read [Name]'s files—only the most relevant ones, because it would take him a lifetime to even scan through everything that has been documented since the moment of their birth. empathy simmers in his chest in the face of another humane monster built from experiments.

that which resembles a human. resembling humans, all of them, dancing on a chessboard in someone else's pocket.

however smart Mori may be, however much respect he may have for the boss, Chuuya believes leaving a kid with suicidal tendencies to a suicidal bastard is undeniably cruel. [Name] is nothing like Dazai, because they value life, because they don't regret being born, because they don't taunt death in an attempt to free themself. and yet despite knowing they are so, so different from the demon prodigy, there still is something. there is something, and Chuuya doesn't know what, but it's very much there. something in their eyes, something very deep in a parallel mirror; something on the scar on their neck and something in their voice.

something, whatever it is, making [Name] feel horribly similar to Dazai.

Chuuya has seen his friends die time and time again. that's just the way the mafia works. he fears he's going to see [Name] end up being another corpse in a pile of distant memories.

after a strenuous day of training, he offers them a cigarette. the more they take from him, the less they'll follow in Dazai's footsteps—he hopes, at least, because Dazai has a plan. Chuuya doesn't know what it is or why he's so determined to see it come to fruition, but he does know no one is safe. so he leans against the wall, taking another drag, listening as [Name] explains their experience in the research facility. out of curiosity, out of concern.

if there's an input, there's an output.

[Name] shakes ashes off their cigarette. they finish their retelling with a closing thought of, "at some point, the concept of life became trivial, as Dazai-san put it." it sounds natural and it rolls off their tongue with the tone of an older sibling. Chuuya argues that it sounds dissonant; that agreeing with Dazai shouldn't be a willing choice. "i could kill anyone and anything, but i couldn't kill myself. they wouldn't let me."

he sighs heavily, "that explains why you feel so much like that lousy suicidal bastard."

with the way [Name] turns to blink owlishly at him, he'd think he's offended them. their brows furrow in thought for a moment, before they chuckle sardonically. "i think Dazai-san's in a league of his own." as a pained afterthought, they add, "sadly." they cast their gaze down to their shoes, a grimace twisting their face. pity burns on their tongue. "there really isn't anyone out there to feel so much like him."

"hopefully," Chuuya snarls, rolling his eyes, "there really shouldn't be."

"do you hate him that much, Chuuya-san? i know he's a lot to handle, but he's just throwing a tantrum." the laughter that falls from their lips is ironic. they don't mean it. they're at a loss. the cigarette between their fingers slips and bounces off their shoes.

Chuuya clicks his tongue. "he's just a cunning bastard with a plan to fuck everyone over." he flicks his own cigarette off to the side to emphasize his words.

[Name] lets his snarky remark swim into their ears, processing each sound with careful consideration. they stare silently at the floor as they take into account everything the mafia has shown them for the past two years. they're well aware Dazai is always slithering around, a heavy presence looming over everyone's shoulders to make sure everything goes according to plan. they know he's doing something, whatever it might be, and it's very important. that's why he's been gone for over a week already. from where [Name] stands, it simply seems capricious.

"i think he's a little kid," they speak up with a hint of hesitation. a knot in their throat tries to keep them from spitting words a parallel story would set them on fire for. they clear their throat, turning to find Chuuya's eyes. "doesn't he feel like a neglected toddler to you?"

immediately, Chuuya throws his head back and cackles from the core of his chest. he pats [Name]'s shoulder harshly, shaking them in a fit of pure amusement. "ha! that's your best joke so far." he pretends to wipe a tear off his eye. the moment his laughter fades away, a peeved frown pulls his brows down. "that shitty asshole's a demon that's been alive for centuries. i wouldn't waste pity on him." as if it were an unimportant discussion about ants on the ground, Chuuya shrugs his shoulders. he's done with his smoke break and he cares little about sympathy for malicious intelligence.

[Name] watches him head back into the Port Mafia building. the demonic crown Dazai wears weighs on him more and more as the years go by. centuries upon centuries of living in isolation should give a demon like him all the wisdom in the universe, and yet he's nothing but a child. even Chuuya is only a child with issues of his own. they all are. and when kids are scared, some cry, some bite back, and some simply cower in a corner while gritting their teeth.

with a sigh, [Name] crushes their struggling cigarette with the sole of their shoe. they follow after Chuuya once the fire has died.

it's strange, Dazai thinks, and it rattles him for a moment. he only has the memories of what will happen, but he's convinced he can still feel frail bones crushing under the pressure of his foot. the moment he sees [Name] in broad daylight, crouched over in an awfully familiar alleyway, he stops dead in his tracks. his fingers twitch. he almost wishes [Name] would try to hide away in the shadows. he doesn't have to even look past them to know there's a box with three puppies in it.

"what are you doing here, [Name]?"

[Name] cranes their neck back, finding Dazai's eye staring down at them with a blank gaze. "hello, Dazai-san," they greet him normally, because they don't know and they can't guess. they step to the side to let him see the three dying dogs, huddled together for warmth inside a humid box. Dazai blinks. these puppies don't just look frail, they look sick.

"what are you doing?"

[Name] turns back to the box. with one hand, they keep searching for a way to help these dying creatures; the other one offers a sense of comfort—or as much as they can—scratching their heads gently. "i found these guys abandoned here. i was thinking of getting 'em to the vet, they don't look too good." when [Name] removes their hand, one of the puppies stirs. it tries to call out in a faint cry. it barely has the strength to breathe.

"oh." Dazai hums in understanding. he doesn't like dogs. he doesn't care about what happens to these dogs. something is probably eating them from the inside out and he knows for a fact they will not survive a ride to the vet. they're on the verge of death already; [Name], this time, is too late. "yeah, that's a good idea." he doesn't care about what happens to these dogs or to [Name] themself, but he lets them do whatever they want. it is not a dare. it is not a challenge. it's simply him taking a step back.

"do you know of any vets nearby? i can't find anything on my phone."

"…i don't really like dogs so i don't know anything." he lies. he does know. he cannot step back more than this.

it's fleeting, but [Name] feels that same baseless animosity trying to drown them. "i see." they pretend it's fair. they don't pry. with a grimace, they turn again to look at Dazai. "do you think they'll make it? they might be a lost cause."

"you should try."

the longer they consider it, the more pity simmers in their chest. when they scan their eyes over the puppies one more time, they're agitated, struggling to breathe. "i'd rather not put 'em through that… i'll just let 'em pass peacefully." an orange glow surrounds their body as they use Mirror Mirage to steal the dogs' lives from them. painlessly, the three of them grow weaker until they ultimately die.

Dazai glares quietly. he watches with a hollow stare as [Name], with their eyes closed, claps their hands and says a short prayer to the lives they've taken.

"i'll find a place to bury them. excuse me, Dazai-san." picking the box up from the floor, [Name] bows their head to him. he trails his eyes after them while they disappear down the sidewalk.

Mori Ogai knew eventually Dazai would take his place. evil expects evil from others. when he finds [Name]'s hand around his throat, he chuckles. he figures this is exactly why Dazai wanted to take them from their orphanage and bring them into his arsenal. he's not given much choice and lets the children do with him as they see fit.

at age eighteen, Dazai Osamu becomes the Port Mafia's boss.

[Name] doesn't mind the changes in the mafia, especially considering they aided the new boss. there's a hefty weight of unbearable responsibility pressing down on their shoulders. they're aware Dazai isn't their problem, and neither do they feel the need to interfere. he is doing something—[Name] doesn't know what it is or why, but they hope he can accomplish it so he'll finally sit down and breathe. they know better than to meddle. but the duty of an older sibling compels them to at least check in on everyone around them.

(Chuuya isn't content. they've heard all of his complaints again and again over cigarettes and drinks. he says he doesn't blame them for helping Dazai out in taking Mori's head. they hardly believe him.)

Dazai calls them into his office. something feels off when they step inside, bowing as per usual, speaking politely like they did with Mori. he's leaning back on his chair and reading a book. the cover is worn, but they can make out the characters for war and crime. the look in his eye darkens considerably as he lets it flutter shut before dropping it in his trash bin.

he leans into his desk and towards [Name], an empty smile curling his lips. "i have a task for you, [Name]." he gathers documents scattered around, brushing off a paper airplane that falls off the edge. [Name] takes them from his hand with a nod. "i'd like some information on this orphanage."

"of course, boss."

they bow one more time to excuse themself. Dazai considers letting them go with their task, but curiosity gets the best of him. he can't keep his mouth shut. "say, [Name]," he starts. [Name] stands up straight, listening attentively. "have you ever heard about the theory of the two demons?"

[Name] blinks, brows rising. it doesn't ring a bell. "i haven't. what does it say?" Dazai knows it doesn't ring a bell.

"that to combat a great evil, you need an even greater evil." it's taken him years to understand what this theory entails. it's taken him memories that do not belong to him to wrap his head around nonsense such as this. the best experience comes first-hand. "say, for uprisings against the government, the government can suppress the people with forced disappearances, for example." he cannot pretend to laugh at this anymore.

"so it's bad against worse?"

"precisely." Dazai snaps his fingers. there's a childlike ring in his voice, like he's happy to finally hold a conversation with the [Name] he's known. "it cancels out. it reaches a point where evil is just the norm. a demon against another demon; do you get it?"

"i see. like… fighting fire with fire." they're close. "only a demon can kill a demon."

like saying long time no see to someone he's supposed to have never met. like stabbing his own leg for someone he knows doesn't have the choice to stray. like offering lies to someone who cursed him in a different story. like babbling words that are not his. "yeah, that's… that's a good analogy." like a corpse smiling back at him. (like animal blood staining his shoes.)

"where did you find this theory? it seems interesting."

Dazai glances at the trash bin only briefly. "that's not important." [Name] doesn't catch on. "i just thought you'd like to know about it."

"why's that?"

"so you don't resent me after i'm dead." he's always known they aren't anything like him.

[Name] lets an innocent chuckle slip, "i'd be surprised if you're actually mortal at all."

"now that's a very cursed thing to say, [Name]." he offers them a smile. it's the smile of a child, innocent and ignorant. it's heavy.

"my apologies, boss."

Nakajima Atsushi is a mellow boy. it doesn't take a genius to realize he wasn't as lucky as [Name] was when drawing straws in the orphanage lottery. he's been blessed with a powerful ability, but he's also been cursed to never tame it. Dazai seems to have been prepared for this inconvenience since the day he was born. [Name] considers that's probably exactly the case.

they analyze the collar Dazai has given them, before their eyes fall on Atsushi. he's mellow and he's scared. he sits quietly on the floor, hugging his knees close to his chest to make himself small, hiding his face in search for safety. [Name] crouches by him, wearing the same gentle simper they used for their youngest siblings.

"i'm sorry about this, Atsushi-kun," they speak softly, careful not to make unnecessary loud noises, "but Dazai-san said it's to keep your ability in check."

"i know. i understand. it's okay." he lifts his head up only slightly. he meets [Name]'s pitying eyes.

they frown. the theory of the two demons states that, in order to take down a great evil, one requires a greater evil; [Name] thinks this is what Dazai meant when introducing them to such a wicked theory. a sigh tumbles from their lips, "it's not okay, but it's necessary." it burns on their tongue, rotten words they should swallow.

they purse their lips and clasp the collar around Atsushi's neck. somehow, they wince harder than him.

Dazai Osamu has completed his plan.

he hits the ground, blood splattering and staining the ground a crimson red, because even in death, Dazai can't keep himself from being a nuisance. his body twitches as the last remnants of life slip away from him.  it's unexpected—not that he managed to fulfill his own goals, but the way he chooses to celebrate. in the moment, [Name] thought their words were ironic. as they catch a glimpse through the corner of their eye, they think they spoke too much.

they freeze, shoulders taut. with wide eyes, they find Chuuya's glare across from them, seemingly just as perplexed. both turn towards the wall of windows; neither dare take a step closer to confirm their suspicions.

"…Chuuya-san," [Name] speaks up with a hesitant tone. Chuuya doesn't answer. "Chuuya-san, was…" their voice trails off, unsure of what to say in the face of suicide. "Chuuya-san, was that Dazai-san?" by the time they manage a coherent sentence, Chuuya is no longer by their side.

[Name] watches from up high in an empty hallway. from this height, Dazai's bleeding body is nothing more than an ant out of line. they sigh heavily, eyes closed. they clap their hands together and say a short prayer for the life that now sleeps forever in solitude.

—あごす (agosu) • 2023

#theory of the two demons #bungou stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #nakajima atsushi #mori ougai #bsd beast #bungou stray dogs beast

[niuniente]

Hi Nui! I'm going to be visiting a friend in Finland in about a month, and was wondering if you had any advice so I don't look like an absolute FOOL to them and all other Finns I run into on said trip (Also, if there's anything I absolutely have to do/try/see while visiting, that would be appreciated!)

These kind of questions always remind me of this Tumblr user whose father went to visit Finland. He learned Finnish and practiced his pronouncing. When he met a Finn and greeted him - very fluently - the Finn asked "Where are you from?"

The father was a bit bummed that his Finnish wasn't as good as he had imagined and asked was it his accent which gave him away? The Finnish guy replied: "You smiled when you said hi".

So, some dos and donts which came to my mind quickly, depending of course a bit where you will be heading and with whom you'll be spending time with. A 60 year old women from East-Finland is going to be different than a 20 year old guy from the capitol :D

Don't touch Finns Forget hugs, cheek kisses etc. with Finns. You may hug your close friends when you meet but it depends on your friends, of course. Don't touch Finns when speaking as we have extremely wide personal space and its violation will not be taken well. Touching another person in Finland is reserved for family members and a spouse/date. A hand shake is most appreciated if needed :3 Give Finns space It's rude in Finland to go too near of unknown people unless you absolutely have to, like in a crowded public transport. Always leave space between you and a Finn.

(Finns waiting for a bus in a rush hour and giving space to each other)

Be quiet and modest Yelling, talking loudly, screaming and being overall loud is considered rude in Finland. Especially in public places. There are others there, don't bother them with your yelling and scream-talking. Being too lively and expressive is considered rude.

Take your shoes off indoors! Extremely important! Don't walk inside with shoes! Leave them in the mudroom. Walking inside to someone's home with shoes on is probably the rudest violation you can do. Even construction workers etc. apologize before getting inside with their work shoes (and those are allowed because they're work shoes).

No small talk, no talking to strangers We don't have small talk pleasantries in Finland. I was just watching The Block from Australia, where every single phone call, with every single person, is always started as "Hi! How are you? Thanks, I'm good, too!" and then you tell why you called. Forget that. Just go to the point :D Don't talk to strangers unless you really have to. There are area differences in this though, and for example in East and South East it is fine to strike a chat with unknown people.

Be honest Now, while polite manners are good in every country, Finnish people appreciate honesty. If you don't, for example, like some food you are offered, you can say "Sorry, but this isn't for me" or "Sorry, I didn't like it that much." A Finn will feel like you're making a fool out of them if you, for example, don't like the food their offer but go "Hmmm, this is so tasty!" The Finn will most likely just feed you more the food you absolutely hate because hey, you said yourself that you liked it! Also, if you need something, ask for it. There was an article on a newspaper years ago about Finnish families who hosted exchange students. When asked had there been any issues, one woman said that they had a student from Japan. When the student went to take a shower, the family forgot to give her a towel. Instead of asking for a towel - because that would be extremely rude in Japan - the girl tried to dry herself with toilet paper, messing the whole bathroom. Now that in Finland is rude - you just made a mess, used a full toilet roll and humiliated the family because you didn't note them that "Excuse me, I need a towel."

Don't talk bad about sauna Sauna is a sacred place. You can say that it's not really your thing but don't talk shit about sauna. Again, would you want to go to sauna but you want to wear a towel, say so. Finns will understand.

Apartment buildings and house areas have Law of Silence for the nighttime All Finnish apartments have a silence time. It's a law and if you (or your guests or pets) constantly violate that, you will be evicted, especially if you are a tenant. Avoid loud noise between 10pm to 7am. While it's not illegal to take a shower between 10pm and 7am, if you can take a shower before 10pm or after 7am, please do so. That's being polite towards neighbors and that's how most of the Finns live.

We don't have a word for please Finnish language is straight to the point and doesn't have a word for please. When speaking English in Finland, you can drop "please" out from it. Would you want to be very polite in Finnish, you can use kiitos (thank you) in customer service for please. But otherwise, just ask for what you want without any sugar coating - that's not rude but honest :3 (I so struggle to use normal polite language in English because it doesn't make any sense to me lol)

Watch out for pickpockets in Helsinki If you come to Helsinki, watch out for pickpockets, especially during summer. During summer many criminal groups arrive from East Europe to Helsinki to steal stuff from tourists. You need to be mindful only in the central and tourist attraction spots, though.

Anything you can imagine comes lactose free! Not really a guide but just a little note that if you can't have lactose, Finland is full of lactose free products. Stores have a little L on the price labels for Lactose Free products. Laktoositon = Lactose free. Overall, all kind of different food restrictions are well handled in Finland.

I like to say that if you didn't do it in Japan, because it's considered rude or distributive, don't do it in Finland either and you'll be fine :3 Except for saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

#finland #ask niu #IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE FROM THIS LIST #TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF WHEN INDOORS!!! #AND DON'T TOUCH FINNS

[kzpearce]

kiss > keys. alhaitham x reader

gender neutral reader! not really proofread (so i apologize for the wrong grammar that you would encounter) and it's also another alhaitham (supposedly ayato butttttttt yeah 😓)

also it contained language so read at your own risk! 😵‍💫

author's note. by the way, thank you so much from my previous post it had gotten a lot of attention! i love you guys <3 (poor ao3 and wattpad i'm still not giving them updates 😣)

edit. LOL i forgot to tag and i feel like this would flop and i dont wanna repost it anymore cuz itd like 1am here so 😔

you had decided to stay at kaveh’s apartment (that you weren’t aware he had a hot roommate he said he didn’t like), only because you had nowhere to stay and your budget wasn’t enough to rent a place. after all, you managed to enter the akademiya because of a scholarship, and it was an opportunity because the akademiya was one of the great schools in teyvat.

but after a few days of staying at kaveh’s apartment, he announced to you and his roommate that he would be going on a trip, and it was a requirement for his task. you glared at your cousin who suddenly made a decision (that he said, he didn’t have a choice) to leave you with the roommate he didn’t trust.

“i thought you didn’t trust your roommate? and now you’re leaving me with him?” you asked unbelievably to your cousin.

“i don’t. but i trust you that you knew how to handle yourself already,” he retorted, placing his clothes inside his baggage. what’s worse was he will be out for a few months, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get enough mora (when you’re only helping in the library and they only gave you a few) to rent a place.

the reason why you were also willingly to come here and accept the scholarship. it’s because your parents declared that your cousin was studying here and you could stay at his place (they also didn’t know he has a roommate).

“bitch your roommate owns this apartment and you didn’t even say a word? to us?” you remembered rolling your eyes and crossing your arms when you managed to have alone time with kaveh.

he reasoned that he didn’t bother saying anything anymore, so that there wouldn’t be more questions coming from the family (since they won’t shut up when there were happenings around you and kaveh’s lives).

meh, understandable, but still. what the hell?

“alhaitham,” kaveh averted his gaze to his grey-haired man roommate, who had never left his sight on his book. “if you did something to my cousin i would burn you and your house alive.”

you snorted. he was so good at threatening people, but you knew that he would also never do it.

when kaveh left, the first few days with alhaitham was awkward, and the house was really silent unless they would ask each other about the house details like where would he be eating for tonight, whatsoever. other than that, nothing more.

nevertheless, time passed when there was a project you needed to do. but when you asked for your professor’s guidance (because there were difficulties on your part), he suggested that alhaitham should teach you.

you were annoyed, but it eventually became okay because he was your roommate for quite a while and hopefully he wouldn’t neglect you since your professor asked him to do it.

“you were doing it the wrong way,” that was his line whenever you talk to him about your project. you couldn’t help but sigh, but it was also okay for you because you’re taking this as an opportunity to become better.

during those days, you would make small talks when things went silent, and he oddly cooperated. you had never thought that this would be an entrance to make the two of you closer.

and you would be lying if you didn’t find him more attractive that you wouldn’t stop yourself from falling.

“i wonder how much information you know since you never stopped reading,” you said when both of you were getting some fresh air outside, yet his eyes were still focused on his book.

“enough that it would make your mind stir,”

you blinked.

twice.

either you got that or you didn’t. there were no betweens.

“well, you might be considered as the smartest man in the world since you contained a lot of information that would make your mind stir,” instead, you made a joke out of it. you chuckled out of foolishness.

he snorted. “that was a terrible joke.”

you rolled your eyes, “of course it was. that wasn’t a joke anymore at some point.”

his lips curved.

the chemistry friendship between you had gotten closer and if both of you had free time, you would hang out together. and it didn’t mean you would go out and do things, but staying at one place and letting the silence eat the ambiance away was enough to consider as a hang out.

you might have considered it as a rest too. the his presence was so comfortable and peaceful that you would never want to go away and his arms wrapped around you would make you simply not care about the world anymore.

his face wasn’t always buried in the pages of his book. instead, you two hung out more and you could see his facial softened whenever he was talking to you. you could see his smile frequently too.

you knew you were falling, yet you’re scared that things wouldn’t be the same if ever he didn’t like you back.

a sigh escaped your lips when you knew you had to live for two days because of a project in port ormos. you knew you would miss him (even though it’s only for two days—maybe you had gotten very comfortable and used to his presence to the point you didn’t want to be away from it anymore).

“see you in two days, roomie,” you giggled at the nickname you suddenly made. he glanced at you interestingly.

“since when did you start calling me that?”

“since now,” you teasingly smiled, remaining in eye contact with him.

“okay, be careful when you’re there.” he said, still maintaining eye contact. His eyes were so pretty.

“okay, roomie,” you teased.

he slightly rolled his eyes but his beautiful smile carved on his lips that you knew you would miss.

you wore your backpack on your back and prepared to walk away from his apartment.

yet you suddenly hovered your hands on your pocket, realising you forgot the keys with you.

“haitham,” you spoke softly, “you forgot to give me the keys,”

the next thing you knew, a soft lips were pressed in your lips. your eyes expanded and how your body reacted started to become uncontrollable.

without giving you time to adjust, he moved away. and your lips suddenly felt empty.

“haitham, the keys of the apartment not a kiss,” you pressed your lips together, maintaining your composure. “but that was better,”

he smirked, “you want me to kiss you again?”

you smiled, unable to trust yourself with how and what you will answer.

the next thing you knew, he leaned, feeling his delicate lips on yours that was lasting for only seconds but it felt long.

“haitham, the keys,” you whispered when you pulled away.

“that would be unnecessary, baby. i’ll be heading with you.”

“wait, huh?” you tried to prevent yourself from smiling because of the endearment, and the news he declared. “you’re coming too?”

“yes, i need to meet someone there for a day,” he answered. “i’ll wait for you to finish before we head home again.”

“thank you, haitham,” you smiled brightly, planting a small peck on his cheek.

“besides doing it for you, i’m also doing it for myself,” he replied with a smile. “two days without you would be insufferable.”

#genshin x you #genshin headcanons #genshin various men #genshin x reader #genshin impact #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #genshin impact alhaitham #alhaitham #kzpearce3

[toastyliltoasts]

Purely A Coincidence

Part 2

< Previous | Next >

Pairing; Prince!Wilbur x GN!reader

Words; 2.3k

About; After being sent away by your mother, abruptly might I add, to a whole new kingdom; a new life, as a physician's apprentice, you run into a complete asshole.

Warning(s); Swearing, Mention of pillory (although idk if that's a warning), dont know why but usage of cringey ass names cus I dont know wtf to call the characters (apologies to all the Isaacs), Mention of dagger, Not proofread :)

A/N; So uh holy shit. came home back to 21 damn notes on the last (first) fic I posted so I just guessed somehow that you all are in love with Wilbur.. So here's another one ✌️ (Also Niki, our beloved, is here <33)

Taglist; (I forgot to add this but uhhh lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist)

The rest of the story contracted very shortly, you had ended up in prison after the prince, who you now knew as Wilbur, had ordered for you to be sent to jail for six nights and then made you lovely reservations to the royal stables to muck it out clean. The thing is, that wasnt even the best part. You had to sit through approximately more than 3 whole hours, being lectured by your uncle, inside prison might I add, about how that was 'irresponsible' and could've gotten you in trouble. He wasnt wrong, not one bit, but that self obsessed ass really got on your nerves. Plus, you were pretty sure the jailors were also tired from the continuous scolding.

So after what felt like a lifetime of being lectured, Phil let you know that he talked to Wilbur's father who was, surprise surprise, a really good friend of your uncle's and managed to get you out of that hellhole after two nights but apparently, you had to keep your end of the deal as well.

And that's how you found yourself, trapped in a pillory, as rotten tomatoes, apples and other decaying fruits and vegetables were thrown at you by children and adolescents at surprising speed.

Needless to say, Phil had to draw you a huge bath and help you get pieces of unrecognizable fruit that stuck to your hair. And you're probably never seeing your tunic again either. After that the lectures did indeed stop, as you made a begrudging Phil promise, yet the infamous raise of his 'better not try anything' brow did not. You already had a daily entitlement to that hawk look of Phil's ever since he found out that your mother sent you to L'manberg because she was afraid for your safety.

She had sent a letter with you to hand over to Phil which probably mentioned something about your 'gifts', or whatever she called it. It was true that you would probably be considered an outcast there if anyone but your mum and your best friend, Isaac had found out. You knew that you had a little bit of, if not the whole of your existence, related to Merlin Ambrosius according to all the bed time stories you've learned from you mother. So it made some sense that you were related to sorcery. But that just made Phil more concerned about you and try to keep you out of possible danger, which you appreciated in some way.

And so, with countless warnings to you about keeping your 'special abilities', as he liked to call it, out of hindsight, he just pushed some vials full of, what you guessed were probably disgusting, medicine into your hands and told you that those needed carrying to various people around the castle and village, whose names you probably would've forgotten if Phil didnt drill it into your mind. So off you went on you 'merry' way to only run into the person you least expected to meet.

"Ah, I see some time in the stocks were just what you needed" Wilbur smirked with a raised bow as if asking you to confirm his suspicions. Keep walking, keep walking, keep wal-

"Come on now, no need to be afraid of me" he sounded pretty satisfied with the jab as your legs pause to let yourself take a deep breath.

"From you ?" you asked, still with your back facing him and not letting him have the satisfaction of ticking you off. Honestly, you've genuinely had enough of him.

"And the idiot speaks" he smirked. You hear the contact of his boots clashing with the hard rock of the surface.

"Look, I already told you you're an ass. Guess I just didnt realize that its a prince's one" you slowly turned around on your heel only to be met with his slightly amused look of shock and his other 'henchmen'.

"What's this now ? Got daddy's men to protect you ?" you gestured to the men surrounding him. He chuckles, his caramel eyes glinting with a hint of gold in the sun light though you could only interpret him as 'up his own ass'.

"You do know that Im capable of handling myself right ?" he replied sarcastically, though he seemed pretty adamant that he could knock you out with one blow (which he probably could and you already knew you were in trouble)

"Never knew that" you sent him a mock shocked expression before continuing.

"Care to set an example ?" your tone was nonchalant yet your mind was running feral. Genuinely not because of this dumbass infront of you but because you were in for another lecture when you're done.

Wilbur raised a brow in a challenging manner, chuckling lightly before maintaining direct eye contact with you.

"You dont know what you're getting yourself into, do you ?" he paused for your confirmation.

"I am very much aware, actually"

Well, another long story short, you were done. Wilbur had handed you a flail to make the 'competition' fair and things commenced. Both Wilbur and you had flipped over dozens of carts and boxes as he tried to corner you in for easy access and your weak spots while, to be honest, you were just swinging the flail around in defence with slight co-ordination, having never picked up the said mace in your life before. You could feel the now forming crowd's eyes burning into you as he had effectively trapped you between a wall and a wooden stall.

Before you could even process it, your eyes flashed a shade of gold, which thankfully no one saw, and his mace was stuck, wrapped around a pole. It bought you a bit more time to get properly on your feet and grab a near by broom. Just as you neared him, to demand for him to submit, you saw your uncle Phil in the crowd with the most disappointed and disapproving face he could muster which made you feel more guilty than you've ever been in your life. You felt something in the bottom of your stomach, some itch of sorts. Almost as it you were gettng deja-vu. And in that moment of weakness, Wilbur managed to grab another broom, land a hit on your head, which hurt like hell thank you very much, and trip you. But, surprisingly, he let you go just as the gaurds were about to drag you to the stocks again, saying something about how 'there's something about you that he just cant put his finger on'.

Phil had, instead of the gaurds, dragged you back to physician quarters, scolding you the whole way there. Unfortunately, he had seen your little stunt you pulled to distract Wilbur and went absolutely berserk on how you shouldnt use magic in front of people, that it would get you nowhere but the pyre. You were honestly sick of this, you were sick of this kingdom and you were sick of everything in it, especially that royal prat Wilbur. So you just wordlessly went into your room before throwing yourself on the bed like a ragdoll and spent the rest of the day there. That is, of course, until Phil came in with some kind of poultice to apply on the bruises forming on your arms. You both just conversed like nothing happened before you brought up the topic of your magic. Phil just told you that it was there for a reason he didnt know, but for a reason nonetheless. He gave your head and hair a fatherly ruffle before leaving dinner on your table and out the room.

You woke up slightly numb but better with rest. You left your room and sat down on the wooden dining table as your uncle made you breakfast. You apparently had to give some sort of sleeping draught to the lady Niki because, for some reason, she had trouble sleeping. And while gulping down your breakfast, your uncle informed you of some visiting neighboring king and how there was some sort of welcoming celebration that, as court physician's apprentice, you were allowed to attend. You werent exactly the most excited for hours upon hours of treacherous, boring speeches you've seen back in Willowdale. But you just thanked Phil for the lovely breakfast and carried on with your day. You found the way to lady Niki's chambers with the help of multiple gaurds and got there with slight ease, only since you had directions of course.

Niki was, undoubtedly, the nicest royal you've ever met. She was headstrong and had a lot of courage, while being extremely humble to the point you couldnt even believe she was blood related to that snob. She was incredibly polite and made you feel like you were back with a childhood best friend again. And after giving her the draught and leaving, Niki promised to let you know if she needed anything else. You giddily walked back to the quarters with a smile etched onto your face at your interaction with the lovely lady.

You followed Phil like a lost kid, gawking at everything your eyes land on. The castle was lit with absolutely beautiful shades of colours painted on the candles and the gold decoration shined under its glow. The ambiance was definitely lively with bits and peices of conversations between other people enter your ear.

"You sure this isnt some coronation, Phil ?" you asked, baffled at how above and beyond the royals went for a simple welcoming party. Phil chuckled.

"Of course not," he spoke as if you were a child, even as he said your name.

"As I see you've met Wilbur countless times, him and his father dont take celebrations lightly" Phil let you know with a playful glare at the previous statement. You scoffed, annoyance directed at the specific royal probably more visible now.

"I can see that very clearly, Phil" you glared at the prince you spotted previously, a few moments after you entered the ceremony hall.

You also spotted several well known royals around the kingdom and even outside of it. And of course, along with the visiting king who had all this ceremonious stuff done for him as just a 'gift' from L'manberg, its royals and people.

The celebration went on for a bit more before the royals of L'manberg had to deliver their speech. You had to stand a bit far away at the table and had to stay besides Phil as you listened the never ending string of words. You, god knows why, got that feeling that you've done this before, even when you've lived at Willowdale until now. You shook it off as your mind trying to entertain your bored self.

That is, until you saw a blur of glinting sliver under the low dim of the chandelier. Your eyes tracked down the metal just as it was thrown and, as soon as you saw its designated target, your eyes flashed gold. The dagger slowed its path as you, for whatever reason, found yourself at Wilbur's side in a spur of a second and instinctively pushed him out of the way. You both hit the ground with a thud while you heard worried gasps and murmurs accompanied by the sound of a slash. Wilbur, still dumbfounded, stared as the dagger imbeded itself in the chair he was on mere seconds ago. The sound of hurried footsteps met your ear, the gaurds seizing the man responsible. Wilbur's surprised eyes found yours while yours was still on the dagger. You found Phil staring at you worriedly but he knew not to jump in at this moment, you had just saved the prince's life, albeit putting your own one slightly at risk, but saved it nonetheless.

"Wilbur," you heard the king's concerned voice, making both you and Wilbur scramble to stand up. The king checked Wilbur for any fetal damage but ended up with none.

"You saved my boy's life" he turned to you and you immediately felt all the attention on you. You wished you could smirk in that prat's face, for his 'I can handle myself' bullshit but maybe, just maybe, your mind was a bit more occupied from recent events.

"Gratitude must be repaid" you shook your head at once. No, watching Wilbur's pissed off face in a couple of hours after everything calmed down would be more that enough.

"Dont be so humble, this requires a special merit" the king insisted and, even before you could utter a word, he continued.

"Henceforth, you shall be Prince Wilbur's personal servant" your eyes widened. Sorry, what ?. Even with incredibly delvished hair, Wilbur looked more deadpanned than ever.

"Father!" Wilbur exclaimed in an offended manner but, unfortunately, the king was hearing none of it and left you both, staring at each speechless. You were just about to start jumping at eachother's throat when Phil dragged you both to the physician's quarters to check for injuries.

This whole servant thing was not going to be fun.

#wilbur soot x reader #wilbur x reader #wilbur x you #wilbur soot x you #BBC merlin #bbc merlin :0 ? #Princebur

[bil-daddy]

hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers #life advice from bildaddy (results may vary) #have an ox rib (platonic) #bildaddy #bildad brainrot #bildad nation #bildad the shuhite army #oh bildad we're really in it now #oh bildad the shuhite we're really in it now #bildad my beloved #shutanic temple #bildad the shuite #bildad #bildad the shuhite #bilday #obstetrician thursday

[sofasoap]

I would like to apologize for the spam liking but I couldn’t help myself. Once I started reading the Lastochka series, I couldn’t stop until I read everything! I think that you single-handedly made me fall in love with Nikolai and I thank you for it!!

Like playing with Russian roulette, even Lady Fortuna's luck runs out.

This is hands down one of the best lines I’ve ever read anywhere! I was literally frothing at the mouth after reading it!

Nikolai screaming “SHE IS MY WIFE!!” will forever be seared into my brain.

"My brother in law."

"I am not your fucken brother in law."

"Yes you are."

"I didn't agree for you to be in my family. grabbing the glass of vodka Sergio offered to him, he sniffed it before taking a sip. " Steaming Jesus, this is some strong stuff.?

"Best Russian Vodka you can get out there".

"Hm. still a bit short compared to the best Scotch whisky." Soap remarked.

Awww, they’re bonding!!

"I am sure my Russian charm will win them over very quickly." Nikolai laughed.You rolled your eyes, his optimism and ego never cease to amaze you.

His charm will win me over any day.

The crack fics literally made me fall over laughing! Like she was more worried about her floors than marrying him. And the “don’t worry, I’m from Russia” taxi meme had me struggling to breathe. 😂😂😂

Also his nicknames for her…..if anyone calls me those I will marry them on the spot!!!

Your Russian was pretty spot on, coming from someone who is part Russian, so you have nothing to worry about on that end! Side note off of that: Anya is also one of my nicknames so it was fun to see it pop up in your story!

I cannot wait for the rest of your Lastochka-Raging Waves series and more Nikolai stuff from you!! Thank you so much for introducing me to this!!! 💕💕💕

First of all… let me give you a hug *hug hug hug* spam reads are always welcome here on this blog ( unless you are a bot lol )

Second.. * deep breath in *

@siilvan @nrdmssgs @gamergirlbones @roosterr @homicidal-slvt we have another victim for the club!!!

Welcome to Nikolai club, or we have another sub-branch, Slavic man club. * handing out brochures * here you will find Nikolai, Makarov, Yuri, and my secret love, Sobieslaw "Gromsko" Kościuszko

I am so happy I have another tick of approval from another Russian speaking person!!

Oh Nik and Soap has this love hate relationship with each other. Poor Mini is the one to keep the equilibrium, keeping the Russian Bear and Scottish Unicorn in check.

As for crack fics… dont ask me what I have in my brain as well when i started it lol. I have a lot of fun throwing crack ideas in, i just want to share my wacky ideas with you peeps out there 😝

Seriously when I started this series I didnt even think too much of it, until middle of it I started to notice there’s other Nik lovers out there slowly crawling out. And to you guys, thank you so much for the support!

Ill try my hardest to make Raging waves a decent series, even if it burns my brain and souls out…,

And again, thank you so much, you have no idea how happy I was waking up to this ask *hug again *

#ask and answer #asks #call of duty #nikolai cod #lastochka series #sofasoap writes #thank you so much

[riley-phoenix]

Pairing: Malia X Reader(gender not specified), Scott X Kira, Alisson X Isaac, Jackson X Ethan, Lydia X Aiden, Stiles X Derek, Theo X Liam, Mason X Corey

Canon: Teen Wolf

Content: General stupid teenager trip stuff, smut, fluff, alcohol, nudity

Author's Note: I saw this post by @rottenstyx and it inspired me to write this fic, apologies if someone has already written it. Also, sorry this took SO long to write. I'm always busy and I never managed to find the time.

Summary: With graduation just around the corner, the senior members of the pack will soon be leaving Beacon Hills High School. You suggest the entire pack take a road trip together and just do some normal teenager things for a change, but what happens when you take a break from hunting evil and go on vacation?

The end of the school year. It was that time of year again, that time of year that normally brought a sense of joy along with it. That time of year that you and the rest of the pack would normally wait for eagerly... But not this year. Because this year, it was your last school holiday before college.

You had two things on your mind. Firstly, an unforgettable time with your friends. You wanted to spend one last, villian-free trip together before the end of an era dawned, and the majority of you would officially end your tenure at Beacon Hills High.

Secondly, and most importantly, you had a college decision to make. A hard one. Your girlfriend, Malia, had been placed on the waiting list at Santa Ana. While you were on the waiting list at both Santa Ana and Stanford. However, in a moment of madness, when questioned about it by Malia, you froze and only mentioned Stanford. Why would you do that? Because Stanford had always been your dream school. That was until you got another dream, to go to the same school as Malia. It was all you talked about for the past month. Sharing a dorm, walking each other to class, coming down together for the holidays; and now you were split between worlds.

You walked into your room to gather the last of your things for the trip. You were all driving up to Lydia's family's Lake House for the weekend. You sighed as you packed some clothes into a suitcase when Scott walked in.

"Ready?".

"Almost".

"What're you planning on doing when we get there?", Scott asked curiously.

You paused, "...I thought we were just gonna hang out. Why? Is there some serious conversation you needed to have?".

"Yeah... With Kira".

"Right! She's taking a gap year to go on that Asia trip with her parents".

"...And I dont know what we're gonna do since we were supposed to go on all those campus tours together. I can't just do nothing for a year".

"But you also don't wanna be a year ahead of her".

Scott nodded his head, "What about you and Malia? You guys probably have some stuff to clear out since you're going to different colleges".

"That's... Not the only problem we're having", you said shyly.

"Meaning?", Stiles said as he entered the room.

"Well... We've been dating for a while now. And we've said 'I love you', but we haven't..."

Scott and Stiles looked on in confusion.

You sighed, "Y'know, we haven't... Done it yet".

"Ooohhh", they said at the same time.

"Yeah, you ought to have that talk", Stiles said.

"Oh, Please", you responded, rolling you eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?", Stiles asked.

"You've had a crush on Derek for years and you haven't even talked to him about it yet".

"I have a pact".

"With?", Scott asked.

"Liam. I'll talk to Derek when he talks to Theo".

You and Scott laughed under your breath and Stiles rolled his eyes, "Can we go now?", He asked impatiently.

"Yeah, Let's get moving", you said as the three of you headed outside.

About an hour later, you all arrived at the luxurious cabin. You shuffled inside with multiple bags in hand and threw them inside an empty room.

"Hi!", A voice called out enthusiastically. You turned around to see Malia, with her arms outstretched, moving towards you. She placed her arms gently around your neck and gave you a peck on the lips.

"Hi", you said, as you kissed her back.

"How was your drive?", She asked.

"Fine. Where's everyone else?".

"Outside. Mason and Corey are starting a barbeque".

You walked outside, hand in hand, and found Mason had already set up the barbeque stand while Corey prepared the meat.

Later that evening, you sat on a fold-up chair and praised a hotdog, possibly the best you've ever tasted. "Oh my god, Mason what is in this?".

He smiled, "It's Corey's secret recipe".

You looked at Corey expectedly.

Corey put his hands up in defence, "A magician never reveals his secrets".

You laughed, took another bite of the delicious hotdog and noticed something out of the corner of your eye. On the edge of the dock, Scott and Kira were sitting side by side on the wooden platform above the water, engaged in a conversation; and it looked serious.

"I... Don't know what I'm gonna do next year", Scott said.

"What'd you mean?", Kira asked.

Scott sighed, "We were supposed to go on all those campus tours together, pick one and start the year together. Now you're taking a gap year... I don't wanna do nothing for an entire year but... I also don't wanna start a year before you".

Kira sighed, "Right... The Asia trip. It meant so much to my parents I didn't think about how it would affect... Us. Do you want me to not go?".

"Only if you don't want to".

Kira sighed, "But I do want to, Scott... But I also want to start freshman year with you... Together".

"...Are we gonna be together next year?".

"Yes! God, yes... I love you, Scott McCall".

"I love you too... So... What are we gonna do then?".

Kira thought for a second, then, an idea sparked in her head, "Come with me".

"What?".

"Come with me. On the trip, and we'll do the campus tours after. That way you don't have to spend a year waiting for me and we can still start freshman year together".

Scott considered the idea, then he smiled. A big, bright genuine smile. "Okay", he said, as he leaned forward to cup her cheek with his hand and kiss her passionately.

You couldn't hear what they were saying but you were happy they made up, and seeing them have the tough conversation they were avoiding made you realise there was a talk you'd been avoiding as well. You looked around for Malia but couldn't find her. Excusing yourself, you headed inside the house to look for her. You opened the door to the room you had kept your bags in, and at the very same time caught Malia exiting the shower; completely naked.

"Oh--Sh--Sorry!", You exclaimed as you turned around.

"*your name*, I'm fine with you seeing me naked", she said with a chuckle.

"I'm not"

Once again, she chuckled, "You're cute... What's up?".

"I... Wanted to talk to you about something".

"Okay then", she said as she waited patiently for you to speak, although an impending silence filled the air.

"Can you put a towel on please?".

"Ugh, fine"

You waited a few seconds for her to cover herself up. "You can turn around now".

You turned around and saw Malia wrapped In a white towel, folded neatly just above her breasts and her hair still slightly damp. "So... You had something on your mind".

"Yeah. I was thinking... We've been dating a long time...".

"We have".

"And I was thinking... Before we graduate. There's something we haven't done before that I think I'm ready to do... But not sure if you feel the same way about--".

"You wanna have sex", Malia says quite bluntly.

"Yeah", you say, with a hint of embarrassment.

"Why're you so nervous about this".

"Because I... I haven't...", You sighed, "I haven't done this before".

"You're a virgin?".

"Yeah".

Malia paused, and observed the situation carefully before speaking again, "You said you were ready", Malia said, with her big, brown, soul bearing eyes staring into yours.

"I am. I just wasn't sure if you were".

"I am", she says, with absolutely no hesitation. "So...."

"I don't know", you say shyly.

Malia leans forward and kisses you, then she leans back, and slowly, seductively, removes the towel and let's it fall to the floor. She's completely naked. "Now you", she says.

You start removing your clothes. Following her moves, you take them off slowly and let them fall to the floor, letting her watch and enjoy and allowing her lust for you to grow stronger. Soon you're both completely naked.

Malia leans forward to kiss you again, this time you place your hands around her waist and push her down onto the bed. All of a sudden, the door swings open and Stiles and Derek barge in, half naked and kissing each other.

"Stiles!?", You scream out.

"*your name*!?", Stiles responds.

"Derek!?", Malia exclaims.

"Malia!?", Derek shouts.

"WHAT!?", Derek and Stiles scream simultaneously.

"GET OUT!", You and Malia yell in response.

Embarrassed, Stiles and Derek stumbled out of the room. You sighed, "Maybe we should take this somewhere more private?", You asked.

"Agreed", Malia said desperately.

You both streaked naked out of the room and ran into a nearby closet. Inside, it was pitch black. Despite not being able to see a thing, you started again. You took Malia in your arms and, chest to chest, you started embracing each other in passionate kisses, earning small moans from each other along the way.

You felt a hand reach around your neck and pull you in.

Then a second one around the small of your back.

And then another one touch your leg.

"Wait, what?"

You turned on the lights and turned around to see that Theo and Liam, also naked, were also in the closet.

"Liam!?", Malia exclaimed.

"Malia!?", Theo shouted.

"We are NOT doing this again", you said with a hint of annoyance. You grabbed Malia by the hand and once again, streaked across the house naked back to the room you were in originally. You placed a tie on the handle for privacy before shutting the door. You knew you were going to be in there for a long time.

You woke up the next morning wrapped in the sheets with Malia asleep next to you. You leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. Her eyes fluttered and she smiled. "Good morning", you said, as you kissed her again.

"Good morning", she replied, and paused before speaking as if to say something emotional or meaningful "I was hoping we could do this for the first time before we leave. Since we're going to different schools, y'know?"

"Yeah... I know exactly what you mean", you say with a hint of guilt.

You walked outside, hand in hand, both with untidy hair and joined the others for breakfast. You noticed the twins laughing about something.

"Ethan, Aiden, What's up?", You asked. They both signalled for you to be quiet as Jackson entered the room. He had a magic marker moustache and goatee drawn on his face and yet still, he walked with his usual sense of self confidence.

"What's wrong?", Jackson asked as he noticed everyone staring.

"Nothing, babe", Ethan said as they kissed.

Everyone laughed under their breath and you heard a sound come from your laptop. You opened it up and noticed that there were two notifications from your emails. You opened them and horror fell upon your face as you read them.

An acceptance letter from Santa Ana.

And...

An acceptance letter from Stanford.

"Shit!", You exclaimed

"What was that?", Malia asked.

"Hm? Oh, nothing".

You knew this decision was going to be hard. Do you go to your dream school or do you go to school with Malia? Both would be amazing. In truth, you were hoping fate would make the decision for you by getting you accepted by one and rejected from the other, leaving you with no choice. Well, here you were with a choice, and you didn't wanna make it, but time was running out.

"Hey guys, I invited a few people over to have a party later tonight", Jackson said.

"Should be fun", Aiden says, with his arm around Lydia's shoulder.

"Nothing too crazy, Jackson. My parents will kill me if this place gets trashed".

"Relax, it's just a few people".

A few hours later...

Literally every 12th grader from Beacon Hills High is stuffed into the cabin. Loud pop music plays in the background as people dance and play party games.

At the dart board, your team needs a bullseye to level things up, and Isaac has been your shining star so far. He's hit the centre on 7 out of his previous 9 attempts. Allison's team watches on in anticipation, if Isaac misses, they win.

"Miss, Isaac! Miss!", Allison screams in the background.

Isaac turns to her before throwing the dart. "Sorry babe, nothing's making me miss this shot".

Allison lifts up her shirt and bra and reveals her breasts to Isaac. Drooling over them, he doesn't pay attention to board and throws the dart completely wide.

"NO!", you scream in despair as the other team begins to cheer.

The party went on late into the night as people played spin the bottle, truth or dare and beer pong. Alot happened but somewhere in the night, Malia kissed Lydia causing everyone to cheer. You were asked to tell the truth about when you lost your virginity, and when you replied "Yesterday", it was met with silence followed by uproarious laughter and Allison proved to have a surprisingly high alcohol tolerance.

The next morning, everyone besides the pack had left, and you were all just about finished cleaning up the cabin. When you were done, you threw the garbage bags aside and sat around a fire. "I've got the strong stuff!", Lydia says as she joins the rest of the pack with a bottle of Jager in hand.

"This is it", you say in a gloomy tone. "This is the last thing we do together before we leave for college".

The statement sends a ripple effect of sadness throughout the pack. An impending silence fills the air for more than a minute as you all reminisce about everything that's happened over the last few years. "To Beacon Hills", Lydia says as she takes a large sip of Jager and passes it along. Soon everyone has taken a sip of the strong alcohol and said, in various different tones, "To Beacon Hills!".

As everyone finished up their conversations, you pulled Malia aside asking if you could talk, and she obliged. "What's up?", She asked.

"Malia... I haven't been completely honest with you. There's alot I need to tell you, so... You need to promise to let me finish. This is important".

"Oh...okay", she says softly.

"I was on the waiting list for Santa Ana, but what I didn't tell you was that I was also on the waiting list for Stanford. I didn't tell you because even though I really really wanna go to the same school as you... It's always been my dream to go to Stanford. And I've just been accepted to both. I've made My decision...

... and I'm going to Stanford. Look, I know what they say about long distance relationships, but we're special, we can make it work--"

"--*your name*", she says.

"--Because if you think about it were going to be really busy with classes anyway, and I know you really wanted to share a dorm and I'm sorry--"

"--*your name*", she says again.

"--But I swear I'll come and see you every holiday and every time I'm free and I'll call you all the time as well--"

"--*YOUR NAME*!", She exclaimed, much louder than before.

"Yeah?", You asked, expecting the worst.

"I'm happy you're going to Stanford".

"Really?".

"Yeah... 'cause... I haven't been entirely honestly with you either".

"What'd you mean?"

Malia reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, "This", she handed it to you and you unfolded it. It was an acceptance letter to Stanford.

"YOU GOT INTO STANFORD!?".

"Hey!", She said as she squinted her eyes, slightly offended.

"Sorry", you said with an apologetic chuckle. "...Why didn't you tell me?", You asked.

"The same reason you didn't tell me about Santa Ana".

You laughed, you laughed in relief and then Malia joined you, placing her hands over your shoulders and leaning her face closer to yours. "So... What're we doing?", You asked.

"We're going to Stanford, *your name*, and we're going together".

You smiled a huge, beaming smile of relief and pulled Malia in for a long, tantalizing kiss. You looked out into the sunset, unsure of what your futures hold, but grateful you get to experience it together.

The moment is interrupted by Stiles' police radio message, "We need all units available to make their way to the woods we have found half a dead body, I repeat we have found half a dead body, over".

Stiles raises his finger and opens his mouth to speak but is cut off.

"NO!", Everyone yells at once.

Masterlist

Fandom List

Taglist

Tags: @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @melthedwarf @emilyjade22 @cactuwus

#teen Wolf #teen wolf smut #teen wolf fandom #malia x reader #Malia hale x reader #malia Tate x reader #teen wolf fanfiction #McCall pack #Skira #Alisaac #Jethan #Sterek #Laiden #Thiam #Morey

[kursed-arcana]

Psycho Pass Providence Review

I saw it in theaters and it was even better then I imagined.

Turning Akane into a tragic heroine may have been the best choice for her character after all. Her self sacrifice elevated her character to another level in my eyes.

I have not yet watched season 3 or first Inspector due to patiently waiting for the dub, but knew akane's fate and how it resolves. I went into this movie hoping it would explain how Akane was imprisoned and fearing she would take the fall for Shindo based on the context the film provided, instead I was pleasantly surprised to see our heroine take her fate into her own hands and make a difficult choice. Her self sacrifice was flawless and I was nearly in tears when she broke down. There is even a fantastic parallel between her choice here and Kougami's at the end of one. They both leave each other letters and both call the other an idiot for their decision. I left the theater fully satisfied.

I really appreciate how Kougami and Akane are always on eachothers minds and how their past interactions motivate their present actions even when they're apart. I think they'd make an excellent couple and Kougami being such a stubborn baby and not apologizing to Akane and being shocked when she hung up on him was too funny. I feel like them understanding eachother so well is both a strength and a weakness. It could very well be what keeps a a clear canon paring for them from happening. But I feel like this ending for Akane opens a lot of doors for them going forward. In the eyes of sybil, they're now two of a kind. The power imbalance barrier from their different statuses is now gone! And from what I hear about season 3 and first Inspector, I believe we'll be able to get more content of the two of them working together again in the near future.

On to the rest of the movie and cast.

I can't help but enjoy Mika. I think her character arc in 2 was actually really interesting and a nice contrast to Akane. And seeing her devastation at Akane's actions after she had just tried to save her, really spoke to me. I feel like she's still very much that broken girl from season 1 and Akane's loss probably opened up those wounds again. Her character has a lot more potential than most fans acknowledge.

Gino also has a prominent supporting role in this movie. Whether interacting with Kougami, Akane and Frederica he really shines. He is clearly happy to be with Kougami again, but let's his pride get in the way. But at the end of the day, they are both incredibly loyal to Akane. While Gino protects her as a shield, Kougami fights for her like a sword. It offers a unique dynamic. They essentially have Akane on a pedestal, as does sybil itself, which makes her very public and on purpose fall from grace all the more interesting. What will these two men do now that Akane has made herself a martyr for the justice her ideals strive to protect? I think we all have an idea of where the story goes from here whether we've watched the next material in the timeline already or not.

Finally its worth noting that essentially the entire supporting cast gets a few moments to shine, whether from season 1 or 2, and of course some characters from 3. The cast from 3 may not be the focus this time but they are still present in the background and I believe this movie answers some questions about their pasts.

In closing some stray thoughts.

- I can't help but ship Frederica and Gino now. They had great chemistry and a moment of theirs mirrors and earlier Koihami x Akane ship baiting moment in the movie. Keep yours open for it!

-we lost a good man this go around. His death generally shocked me. Keeping it vague so I don't lessen the impact!

- the music for this movie is A+ however, there is no after credit scene if you dont want to listen to the ending

#psycho pass #providence #shinya kougami #akane x kougami #akane tsunemori #spoilers #review #psycho pass providence #movie review #analysis

[submalevolentgrace]

hi hello, sorry it's another amputee question, idk if you get tired of these. i found your blog and i like how you share your experiences, thank you for this. im abled myself but im writing a story, and i want my main girlie protag to have a prosthetic leg and here's the thing, i dont really have a reason for it. i guess it says something about me, don't know what, but i just don't know if that's considered, well, offensive, or rude, or something. i don't plan to have any focus on it in the story. the medium is a comic so it's going to be always visible as a prosthetic, but i don't want to explain it in-story either, no backstory, she would probably just have it since early childhood. it won't affect the plot. and that's where i don't know if that's even okay. it feels weird to want that, to include that, almost as if i need to somehow turn the story about it, to have some kind of statement. which i don't actually want to make or even feel able to make as never experiencing it. i want for her to have a prosthetic leg just because. and i don't have anyone to ask this, and i don't mean to offend you by this, and i apologize if i somehow did. but if it's okay with you to answer, i'd appreciate reading. if it's gonna be an angry rant i'd like to read it too. i know you're an upper body amp, but idk, i feel like this question isn't much about the use of prosthetics and more of the general amputee characters, and im scared to ask reddit, i don't even know if that ask made sense. thank you if you read that all, please don't feel pressured to answer. hopefully you'll have something good that brightens your day a little!

thank you, i actually really appreciate this ask! sorry that the response is long and wordy, i got a bit carried away…

so, i've gotten a lot of asks/dms/notes from writers asking about how to write their amputee characters/ocs after my big "writing advice" post, and i think i've ended up ignoring every single one of them, because… well, not to be rude to all those people, but they seem to have completely bounced off the whole 'know why you are writing this' thesis, too caught up in the excitement of their own fantasy to even notice the bit about understanding your own intent as an author and why that matters, let alone really engaging with it. and at that point, i don't think there's any advice or feedback i can give that would break through, especially when it seems what most people are seeking is little details and nuances to add authenticity to their token representation characters or unintentional stereotypes.

but, without any other details or nuances that shape a character's portrayal, based solely on what you've said in this ask, i feel like you're on the right track and probably gonna do fine. the thing that sticks out most clearly to me is how you phrase it, "i WANT to write a protagonist to have a prosthetic leg", you are acknowleding your role as omnipotent author, and i honestly think that's worth a lot more than many people realise when it comes to crafting fiction. you've acknowledged your desire for this character to be a certain way, and you're being introspective about the source of those desires and how it will come across - and that means you're almost certainly also thinking about how it interacts with the rest of the story, how it serves your themes, and how it will be interpreted and understood by the audience.

a lot of responses or people asking me for advice say things like "i am writing a character who HAS an amputation", implying it's an observable fact, pre-concluded before their authoring of them, and therefore something they're much less likely to examine critically. maybe it's unfair of me to draw such deep conclusions from shallow choice of language, but firstly, so many people have been far more obvious about it, saying a character "revealed" or "told" them about the amputation, or just straight up talking abot them as independent entities with their own agency, as if it's a biography and not fiction. and secondly, what are we even doing talking about improving the craft of our writing and how it will be recieved by the audience if we're not going to think about how framing affects interpretation? if someone is reaching out to me asking for writing advice, you bet i am going to assume this is a person who wants to improve the details of their own writing craft, and i'm going to critically engage with the tiny snippet of writing they've given me and analyse how it reflects on them, even if it is "just" a tumblr interaction. i don't even consider myself a writer really, the art i mainly dedicate myself to is music, but i still put careful thought into anything i write that's more than a few sentences, and think about the audience it will be seen by.

sorry, that's a whole other tangent… not at all about what you asked. but by way of example and segue back; what i see you reveal in the writing of your ask is a nervousness and anxiety to 'do well' in your writing, to create a character with an amputation in a way that holds up to scrutiny and criticism, and also a fear of what unfortunate things you might be saying and the responses it would provoke if you misstep. i can totally understand that, not just because you messaged me and i personally have a track record of going off on people lol, but also… yeah, people are very eager to judge and attack art based on a hidden metric of how 'well' it does 'representation' or handles things, and be vocal about the failings of things that make an earnest attempt. and i can see that it's very appealing to want to pull back and hide from that; a character who has a prosthetic leg opens you up to your audience critiquing how well you've handled it, most of them not amputees, many of them with the subtlety and media analysis skills of a sledgehammer… while if you write a story with no amputees in it, nobody has anything to critique.

unfortunately, no matter how well or carefully or authentically you write, there will always be someone engaging with it in bad faith yelling loudly about how awful you are; i recently made a short sharp post giving a trigger warning for medical abuse and body horror in the new zelda game that painfully evoked some of my own experiences, i still got people reblogging it telling me i'm ableist for saying disability is body horror (piss on the poor reading comprehension) and should apologise to all amputees (waves my one hand and nub around in a comical hello gesture). maybe that is on me for writing it quickly in an upset huff instead of making at least two proofreading and editing passes and oh geez, this is getting waaay too long and off topic. okay, to the point.

honestly, from what little you've told me, to be overly reductive, i'd give it a stamp of approval. sometimes people just only have one leg and that's fine, people are born like that, it's a thing that happens - and it doesn't need to shape the entirety of their lives, and reflecting that in fiction is more than just fine, i think it's what we need. sure any amputee character i write is going to be an overt commentary on ableism and medical abuse, because that's what i live, that's what affects me. but i know because i've watched their stuff on youtube, that there are so many people out there that were born limb different that just, don't care about it, and it doesn't really affect their life at all. if your protag has a prosthesis, sure she's had to get fitted for it and train for it, and it might benefit you to do an afternoon of research into that if you want to see how it might holistically flesh out her worldview (look up osseointegration vs external sockets, if you want keywords to help, look for patient experiences instead of doctors).

but also, if her other leg has finished growing and she's got a prosthesis that works, she may not have thought about it literally for years, maybe decades depending on her age. i had braces as a teen and it has zero impact on my life, i've had foot and back problems in the past, and it's irrelevant to me now other than getting new off the shelf shoe inserts every few years. i can think of at least one (australian) celebrity with a pretty long and successful comedy career who most people don't even know was born without one foot, it's just not relevant.

sometimes people just have things going on in the background that don't matter, and sometimes characters should have something just going on in the background too, no matter what "save the cat" sort of writing advice tells you. sometimes cutting literally everything out of a story unless it serves the plot or themes is bad actually, and i guarantee you, even as a hand amputee, i would absolutely LOVE to see a leg amp character who is just having a life, doing other plot relevant things. especially much more than i want to see all the characters of people leaving tags saying some version of "thanks OP, now i can write the suffering and torment of my oc much more authentically". think of the hypothetical little girl born without a leg that just wants to see someone like her.

and finally. what i think is maybe at the core of your anxiousness, at least to my read of your ask. you've thought about your role as author and self reflected about why you want to write a character with a prosthetic leg, and you can't find an answer in you, and you're not sure if that means it's something bad. well, assuming good faith from you, i think that's fine too. people who fetishise prostheses or amputations, people obsessed with the suffering or (percieved) depenedncy, or whatever else it is that makes them yearn to write their hacky awful robot arm characters; they probably don't do the introspection, and if they did, they'd find their answer right away (horniness or power fantasy usually), although i doubt they'd be honest with themselves about it, let alone others. assuming good faith and honesty, if you can't find in yourself WHY you want to write this character with a prosthetic leg….. it's probably just a harmless aesthetic preference.

if you wanted it to do cool things or make her more powerful or more special than others or be endless inconvenience and suffering or make her the chosen one because of it or something, that'd set off alarm bells for me yeah, and i'd be reading into it as a much more harmful aesthetic choice, and responding much more aggressively. but if you want to write a story about other things that features a protagonist who just so happens to have a plausibly normal boring prosthetic leg…. that seems fine to me, honestly. i tend towards having characters with certain hair and eye colour combinations that i find aesthetically pleasing, and as long as i'm thinking about how that could come across and trying to avoid any pitfalls around fetishisation and nastier implications, i think it's probably fine.

there are really only three concrete pieces of advice i would give you:

one, when you've got a cohesive first/beta draft, try to find at least one sensitivity reader who's got as similar disability experience as possible to your character (lower limb, same kinda circumstances, same general use of prosthesis), and listen to their feedback.

two, while i totally acknowledge that leg protheses can be super useful everyday kit for many people, i still have a general aversion to "this character NEEDS a prosthesis or they're helpless" readings, and many people don't want to or can't use leg prostheses… if it were me doing it, i'd make acknowledgement of that, and in a visual medium like a comic, i think that's as simple as having a single panel showing your character waking up in bed without the prosthesis, and maybe at her home there are forearm crutches leaning against the wall as background decoration. maybe if you have any scenes where she's woken up in the middle of the night, or interrupted before being fully dressed for the day, you could show them in use. but that's a personal value suggestion from me, your judgement or sensitivity readers might disagree on the importance of that.

three, you will absolutely need to establish as early and overtly as possible that the prosthesis and amputation DOES NOT MATTER to the story or her character arc. people still very much have a default normative body in mind when engaging with fiction, and anything that deviates from that will 100% be interpreted as a checkov's gun that they will be anticipating and theorising about going off, unless you squash that down. if you want to make a statement about it not mattering, unfortunately i think you're going to have to spell that out as obviously as possible without breaking the fourth wall, or else the audience trained on existing robot limb tropes will be waiting for the traumatic tragic backstory or secret rocket booster to become relevant.

but also…. i'm just some bitch on the internet, talking like i'm more important than i am, getting loudly angry about limb difference when i'm a pretty recent and unusual addition to the group myself. so like, don't take anything i say as absolute, and while it's always good to listen to others, at the end of the day you still gotta synthesise all their thoughts into your own.

i don't really have a nice concluding statement other than to say, thankyou for appreciating my post, and most importantly, thankyou for caring about the craft of writing enough to critically analyse your own authorship, and being curious about how to improve on a sensitive topic.

[unlimitedhorsepower]

having some of the worst times of my life ever and im scared things could get worse... how? well you see. they might create more tnb some day even after all of this.

after massacring my boy ryan like that live on screen... smack cam... removing any of ryans narrative worth or meaning just to have him show up and be cringe which i did enjoy but for real guys. my friends. if they had just had everyone do something random and lackluster it wouldve been fine but ryan showed up to drive the plot and continue his character arc from the rising (and then he didnt, as a joke).

karinas lack of real character arc (AGAIN!) so that she can uhhhh talk about crushes... instead of, for example, have her be an equal hero on-screen to the guys who have already been king of heroes and she works arguably harder than anyone else (she is a hero, an idol, and a student). shes so interesting, theres so much to her! but most of her appearances just serve to further some guys character arc (like the whole blue golden episode is mostly about ryan!.. or kotetsu even! cmon)

the character arc that antonio got that wholly ignored that hes friends with nathan and which makes me actually lose my mind when i think that those two have frequently been shown together but they didnt have a single convo together so that nathan and keith can be confined to a cage where theyre only interacting with each other instead of having any real plot relevance despite them both being really interesting!..

and the fact that antonio/agnes made its way into the show bc the director likes him and you know... agnes was her stand-in, and another reason to not let nathan talk with antonio ever because yknow?.. it just tastes like ash in my mouth to feel like the director felt some type of way about nathans and antonios prior relationship...

the buddy hero system was utilized so poorly! it threw so many characters under the bus like ryan seriously got way too much time in blue golden and their prior relationships with each other were ignored so much like man... i just love them all interacting. i dont love whatever the hell was going on with, for example, nobody noticing that thomas is gone. my heroes wouldve noticed immediately btw. instead of subaru and thomas being in a cage where they only interacted with each other, the buddy hero pair curse of 2nd cour that almost everyone suffered from

lets not even get into that even if they say that yuri is actually fine haha! they cant remove that scene where kotetsu and barnaby stared at him and went like “hmm thats rough buddy... anyway”. what the hell... kotetsu is one of the characters i think of the least and it was just so grossly OOC and just plain disgusting... the entire abuse apologism arc with yuri and lara overall as well

what about that fucking scene with jungle where they implied shady shit was going on when subarus communicator didnt go off and he was recruited as a double for thomas anyways and uhhh (checks notes) literally nothing came out of those plot threads btw. jungle CEO was introduced for no reason

and they cant remove what they did to ouroboros (the way they made it all-powerful illuminati-esque organization instead of plain old corruption etc), and the whole NEXT disease ooohhh-thing, and the literal internment camps and the various deeply bigoted implications thereof plus lackluster new character designs (oops! almost all white, pale-haired and blue/green-eyed).

how could they bounce back from this and do i even want to see them try to ignore OR try to grapple with any of the above. oooh when i get my hands on the people who were in the writers room...............

cant they just please retcon that my favourite character fucking exploded to ten thousand small pieces. excited for scraps of my fav characters like usual but then?.. its also like spitting in my face after all the shit they pulled. put me out of my misery

#tiger and bunny #im trying to think of things that are less bad than current life happenings so im just thinking about tnb #devastating yet way less bad than my life rn

[hananoami]

[03/24] Deepspace Trials Progression

A little late to post, but I've successfully clear all three directional orbit stage 70s, unlocking their personal title soles Xavier's [Sands of Time], Zayne's [Dream's Finale], and Rafayel's [Scarlet Thorns]! Additional rewards for clearing the directional orbit - stage 70 are the following: 40 diamonds + 1 Empyrean Wish + 4000 gold. This stage did not have an achievement locked behind it, so no achievement points were gained from successfully clearing these stages.

Sundays are the best days for deepspace trial progression because all three directional orbits are available. I generally try to keep a record of the stages I've done that gave me difficulty to clear in case others might find my experience insightful for their own attempts. I apologize if my explanations are a bit confusing! Most of my notes are me rambling, but my inbox is always available if there are any questions. Feel free to leave a comment and I will try my best to help any way I can.

𝚇𝙰𝚅𝙸𝙴𝚁 (3/3) stage 73 to 75

stage 73

was such a pain in the ass trying to kill those frenzy mobs fast enough in order to get the dmg buff. you'll have to do it do it 3 times throughout the fight, with each round getting progressively more challenging. 1st round had 2 mobs with 3HP bars no shields + 1 frenzy mob 3hp no shield. round 2 had 1 tanky af wanderer with 3HP bars + 2 shields; then another tanky af frenzied wanderer with 3HP no shield. last round had the final 'boss' with 4HP bars + 4 shields. the frenzy wanderer had 3HP no shield. was there a stellactrum? idr, but i dont think there was? anyway, my advice for this stage is to group up the wanderers as close together so you can use [Active Skill] on cool down to burst damage faster. use [Resonance Skill] to break down wanderers with shields, and once those shields are broken use [Active Skill] to deal a burst of damage to a weakened wanderer. the targeting system in his game isn't the best. to avoid hitting a different wanderer i usually try to face the frenzy wanderer, standing as close as possible to focus target it in order to center all damage around that specific one. if defeated within the time limit you should get a notification about receiving an active damage buff. MC also emits a red glow.

stage 74

nothing worth noting. just go in and do some big deeps!

stage 75

the game sets x0 and x5 stages as more challenging than the others. this was pretty easy imo. 4 wanderers spawn at once with 3HP bars + 2 shields each. group them up, break shields, and burst damage them down.

𝚉𝙰𝚈𝙽𝙴 (1/3) stage 77 to 80

stage 77

nothing worth noting. just go in and do some big deeps!

stage 78

required 4 ruby and 1 pearl for protofield stellactrum bonus. i don't have [Neon Night] for the NT pair, but i do have his HC pair from the [Heartfelt] series. this stage was to stand near the sensor until it reached 100%!

stage 79

this also required 4 ruby and 1 pearl for protofield stellactrum bonus. was a kill all wanderers type of stage - 2 rounds. each had 2 wanderers with 3HP bars + 2 shields and 2 monsters with 3HP bars. it helped to group them all together in order to do AOE dmg. would recommend matching the stellactrum for the bonus bc it really helped here to break down their shields -- even if the memories are low leveled!

𝚁𝙰𝙵𝙰𝚈𝙴𝙻 (3/3) stage 70 to 73

Successfully cleared his directional orbit: fire stage 70! I do not have a clear vod for this fight, but I can provide screenshots of my team set up and their attributes.

Team 1 required 4 pearl + 1 ruby to match the protofield stellactrum. there were 5 mobs with 3 HP bars + 2 shields. using his [Resonance Skill] to group up the mobs really helped. blessed to have his myth cards.

Team 2 required 4 violet + 2 amber to match the protofield stellactrum. ngl i had so much trouble with this one. in my case it was more of a skill difference than a stat issue. what worked for me was to save my [Resonance Skill] to spam on cooldown and only use the [Active Skill] when the shields were completely broken for maximum dmg. also remembering to pick up his beacon when it drops [Passive Skill] with charged attacks and being able to move out of dmg areas/dodge in time to gain their [Support Skill] really helps.

#love and deepspace #deepspace trials #;orbit prog notes #;not me rambling into the void #;sakura snapshots #;achievement notes #;affinity notes

[underratedandoverit]

slipping out of my fingers

912 words past orangekip

im sorry i wrote angst i. i dont know. my mind is dealing with something rn clearly even tho its not on the surface but like. yeah. this has been plaguing me the past few days and so i just barfed the words out and here we are. this is kinda alternative events post immortal fears there is no happy ending. im sorry

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate (im tagging yall since you wanted to be tagged in everything, not cause i think you'd enjoy suffering tonight)

on ao3

-------------

The house was so quiet it almost made him nauseous.

Cassidy had been dragging himself through every room possible, being met with the same silence and loneliness every single time. Every single light of hope had dimmed after another, every single door opened to an empty room without a single soul inside it.

Without him ever encountering that smile he had grown so fond of. The laugh that still rang in his ears whenever he heard certain words. The arms that always wrapped around him in a comforting manner when he needed it the most. The soft lips he was so used to be able to kiss whenever he wanted.

He couldn’t find any of those inside these rooms anymore. There’s nothing left behind but darkness.

Heartache.

Every curtain was closed. There were no open windows. The deafening silence lingered around stronger with each room he peeked into, eating alive the final pieces of hope Cassidy had.

He would just need to accept it.

The heartache.

Standing in front of the last door, his hands were shaking. Cassidy didn’t want to face this, but he was told he needed closure. That he needed to embrace the acceptance, that he needed to do this for himself. For their sake.

For Kip's sake.

The door handle was so cold. The tingling feeling shot through his entire body, making him shiver. It wasn’t always like this. This used to be one of the places he spent most of his time when he was home, the one room Cassidy could guarantee he would find company whenever he entered it. The room where most of the tears were shed, but also the one where things had been pushed into motion. Where they had healed, alone, separately, together.

Where they had finally said those faithful words.

There were no sunglasses to hide the tears tonight. He wasn’t even trying to hold them back as he pushed the door open finally, getting slammed in the face with every single memory at the same time, looking over the dark, messy room that hadn’t been occupied in what seemed like weeks now.

The bed covers that either of them so rarely made. The extra darkened curtains to make this a safe space. The dresser half pulled open, single clothing items draped over the edges of the drawers.

Everything just as he remembered leaving it when he walked away the first time.

Cassidy wandered slowly into the room, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. The air was still, heavy with dust, not at all how he remembered it. This had been a place of love before, holding so many strange, heavy days and nights for them both. He could vividly remember every late night conversation they had sitting on the floor at the same time. The way that hand ran through his hair, the way those eyeliner heavy eyes looked at him after they cried together for what felt like the millionth time.

There had been times before, both good and bad, making up, apologies, words that shouldn't have been said but were still shared out of both love and desperation. 

And he wasn’t going to get any of that back again.

He rustled through his jacket pocket for a brief moment, pulling out the note he had found from the kitchen counter earlier. The handwriting was familiar, but it seemed shakier than usually, even after getting better it rarely returned to this bad anymore. Or at least as far as he could remember, it didn't. This was something else, this wasn’t the usual relapse.

Cassidy read the note over and over again, until the tears made it impossible to see the letters anymore, forcing him to crumble the piece of paper, dropping it to the floor.

He carefully laid down on the bed, eyes filled with dust and tears, staring blankly at the ceiling. He had seen this view so many times before, but those dark, lonely nights were nothing compared to the pain shooting through him right now. At least before he would know someone would come for him, help him up on his feet again, be there for him at a moment of weakness like this.

This time, and from now on, he would just be alone.

The phone buzzed in his pocket. On an autopilot he pulled it out, some sense of sick hope in him making Cassidy think this was a sign. No. No, it was just Chuck. He was outside, asking if Cassidy was ready to go.

He slowly sat up, replying to the text barely registering the letters he was punching on the screen. There was no reason to wallow in it, he had to accept the fact that this was how it was going to be right now, and this was how this was going to be from now on. And that he couldn't do anything about it. 

Cassidy took one more glance around the room before he stood up. He didn’t want to leave, but at the same time the happy memories inside here were too much for his heart to handle. Everything was already broken, there was nothing he could do to fix it. Turning on his heels, he dragged himself out of the room, closing the door slowly behind him.

Closing the final door to the love he could possibly receive back from Kip anymore.

We have decided to try again with Penelope. I’m sorry. I love you.

#drabble #setting: belt corruption arc #character: orange cassidy #i dont think any other characters are worth mentioning since technically nobody else is there. i dont think orange is really there either #anyways #aew fanfiction #wrestling fanfiction