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unexpectedcronchiness · 4 years

Text

CINDERELLA AU I WROTE FROM THE GROUP CHAT PART SOMETHING

WARNING: mentions of abuse yall its now on ao3 so if youd rather read it there go ahead https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003439

It wasn't Remus's fault he was a werewolf. If anything it was the blasted moon's fault, for taking the sanity of his mind once a month to fulfill its own personal desires. it wasn't his fault his parents and sisters didn't like him. Well most of the time. He would be lying if he said he hadn't egged them on every now and then but not often, not often enough for this.

Remus gingerly rubbed his arm,one of the many areas whipped and beaten tender and raw frequently. It would have been nice to think that his loving family were smart enough to not have left marks, but alas, they weren't. Not that it mattered. He'd had marks since his first moon, when he was six.

The marks were just one other thing that showed how he was a monster, less than human but close enough to know how much he wanted to be one. His eyes, that reflected light like a wolf, his canine teeth, just a bit larger than normal, enough to be unsettling, and his ears, that could hear the slightest of sounds outside of the full moon.

His ears he didn't mind so much, they were nice and offered him his only friends, the animals near their manor, but they were still unnatural. Speaking of his friends he heard a familiar scatter and quickly made sure the door to the attic, his room, was locked.

Peter, as the rat had told him his name was, scurried into the room. Peter on the outside seemed like a rat in every sense of the word until you talked to him. It seemed he was the opposite of Remus in a sense, a human with just a taste of being something less than, to know to avoid it.

ya got any of that good cheese the rat squeaked. Remus rolled his eyes, Peter also had a very one tracked mind.

"sorry friend, no meals for me for a while" he stated matter of factly. Peter groaned as well as a rat could groan.

What did you do this time? You know you shouldn't egg them on.

"Why, little ol me?" Remus mock gasped, "I would never." then he laughed "Well I would and do, but not this time. This time it was because I forgot to clean the chicken coop a third time, silly me."

Peter looked stern

you could leave, tear them apart, you're a werewolf for merlins sake, you have magic, wandless magic most wizards would kill for it.

"you forget" Remus added bitterly "Most werewolves kill for it. Or well jealousy of it. doing wandless magic would be like waving a sign saying "hello, I'm a werewolf, incredibly dangerous and unstable, grab your pitchforks and torches, please, go ahead and kill me. Besides it's not like I can have my wand, its locked up remember." This much was true, his wand had been locked up since he had first been bitten. Peter squeaked in indignation, he didn't like when Remus spoke so casually about such things or used his wry sarcastic voice like such.

Remus would have continued if it weren't for the thudding of someone coming up the ladder to the attic. Peter started squeaking in fright.

"Shhh, Peter, be quiet, hide." Remus hissed, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice.

The trapdoor swung open and his father, Lyall Lupin, stepped in in disgust.

"You'll be getting a reprieve, lucky you." Remus tried not to perk up at this, knowing that the rest of the story was yet to come.

"The black family is holding a ball for their sons 19th birthday and we are invited. We, of course, means not you." Remus resisted scoffing, naturally.

The Lupins were high society and therefore high enough to be invited to many gatherings, occasions, balls, parties and such, even by the Black Family. To be honest, the black family mostly gained its respect and wealth from fear and other unsavory going ons.

still, he couldn't help the pang of remorse of knowing that he could never go to one, much less the blacks. He had heard that Sirius black, the heir to the blacks title, was a sight to behold.

Even with successfully having kept his emotions in check, one look of misery flying across his face was enough for punishment.

"crucio '' Lyall whispered, barely audible. but Remus's ears could hear it, Remus could recognize the hatred that would flare in his father's eyes, and the way his lips moved, and his arm raised ever so slightly. He would have known what was coming even without being a werewolf.

Remus didn't scream.

For the first 3 seconds at least. a new record, a small part of his brain laughed.

Finally after years, the pain ended and Remus was on all fours, choking up blood, and clawing at the floorboards.

Crucio was not a favorite in the Lupin household but it was used when deemed necessary, or ya know, when someone was just angry or stressed enough.

"Remember your place, monster. You do not, have not, and will not ever deserve to feel emotions. Emotions are for humans" Lyall sneered and then spat at Remus.

and with that he left, crying out a list of chores and a "We'll be back at 3 in the morning, have them completed by then."

Remus didn't dare nod. He sat in silence before he remembered that Peter was still in the room.

"Oh shit, Peter are you ok? SHit I'm so sorry you had to see that." While Remus had screamed whilst being taught his lesson, he had not cried. He frequently chalked that up to simply having no more tears left to cry, or that monsters simply didn't cry but as he saw Peter shaking in fear under his bed covers, his heart broke.

"Peter, shh, shh, hey, im ok, see im ok, everything's alright"

I should be comforting you! The cruciatus is illegal!

"so is a werewolf living unregistered."

thats different

"How so, please enlighten me between using a spell that makes you a monster and being a monster." Remus snapped.

Peter paused, then tried to keep his voice even.

Remus, you can't believe him, you are not a monster in any way shape or form, please tell me you don't believe him

"Oh really Peter, would a human be able to smell the fear on you, because I do, you're afraid Peter, afraid of me, afraid of the monster I am."

I am afraid for you, huge difference Peter retorted as calmly as he could muster. Remus sighed.

"I know, you're right, im sorry Peter. its- its been a long day, I think im going to take a walk"

don't be too long, its a full moon tonight.

"how could I ever forget" Remus said with a smile, and with that he left.

------------

Remus took a walk around the grounds, and finally collapsed on a stone bench by the moonflowers. ugh fucking moon flowers, he hated them. they only bloomed at night and only the magical ones bloomed on full moons.

Draping his arms and head across the bench as he knelt in the grass Remus sighed, trying to steady his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. but then the pace changed, the rhythm uneven, interrupted by hiccups, some breaths shallow, others unbearably deep like it was the first breath of air he'd ever had. Oh, he was crying, Remus realized. apparently he was still human enough to cry. Then he looked at the moon, steadily rising in the night sky and cried even harder.

"-i wish,I fucking wish" he hiccuped. "that I could just be fucking normal for one goddamn night, get dressed up even. Hell maybe I could go to the fucking black party." He mocked a posh voice "Wouldn't that be a ball" and he was laughing as he cried. He heard a rustle behind him, felt the shadow being cast on him and looked up.

A stag, a rather large one at that. That was odd, something about him reminded him of Peter.

it's dangerous to wish upon moonlight, hadn't you heard

"I think I've apparently preemptively paid my price, thanks for the concern." then Remus was looking at the stag oddly, he was different in the same way Peter was.

"besides," Remus continued conversationally, "I hear that werewolves come out on full moons, nasty things those werewolves are, can't trust them. You better run along before you get mauled."

you only change at midnight, I think im fine

this shocked Remus, he did not expect the stag to know he was a werewolf and was hoping for him to run along and let him continue being dramatic in the moonlight.

so about those wishes, what would you do for them

Remus could tell when someone was trying to change the topic, so he obliged.

"what would you do if you were in my situation?" Remus asked, not willing to play the stags games.

i would kill, hurt, take my revenge, my justice, take what's mine, my rights

"you and I are not very alike then, I don't think I ever could do that." This seemed to please the stag as it's upper lip curled just a bit.

please, call me James

and with that Remus felt the tingle of magic under his skin, yet it wasn't in a bad way like normal. Not understanding what was happening, but embracing the feeling, Remus shut his eyes, stood and let whatever the apparently magical deer wanted to happen, happen. Was it odd to say that he trusted this deer as much as Peter?

when Remus opened his eyes, he was wearing a white suit with blue and gold accents and he was standing in something hard, but not uncomfortable. He looked down. Fucking moonstone shoes. what the fuck. how were they not a) heavy as all get out b) uncomfortable as all get out and c) why there weren't literally any other material that wasn't moonstones.

"look while I appreciate being told I need fashion help,I don't think i-"

I'm not finished, the stag, James, said amused. then he turned around to a pumpkin in the garden.

Suddenly the pumpkin was growing, then it was paling in color, and then it was hollow, and then there were craters and oh shit, James , a deer, James the deer, had a fucked up sense of humor turning a pumpkin into a moon carriage that glowed in the other moons moonlight. Moon moon moon moon moon. Remus thought to himself in disgust. Remus just wished he understood what the punchline was.

"again, while I appreciate being told I need better wheels I still don't-" James laughed, or neighed, or whatever it was that stags did.

you're very impatient and then there was a rustle again, this time smaller

James turned around, not angry, not amused, but like something he had rather wished not to believe had made sense.

and look, now we have our mighty steed! James whipped his head around, and Remus cried out, recognizing Peter. Peter squeaked in fear and turned to run but was too slow. at an uneven pace his body began growing and shifting until he was a "mighty steed" as James put it

"Peter, are you ok, can you hear me?" the horse, Peter, nodded. James looked shocked, well as shocked as stag could look Remus supposed

you call him Peter?

"yes,I call you James and I call him Peter, there are these things called names you see, they're very funny" Remus retorted, angry that his friend had been turned into a horse

"Look mr.I would murder someone stag,I don't appreciate my friend being turned into a horse and would rather you tell me what's going on or turn him back this instant." James grinned,

for a smart one you can be stupid. I thought it was obvious, you have to arrive at the black mansion in style of course.

Remus gaped, no he couldn't do this, what if he was caught by his family, what if he hurt someone, what if he-

as he started to voice these complaints to James he was cut off

you've got one shot at normal, maybe even turning your life around, will you take it?

Remus didn't know if he could bear tasting normalcy and then having it ripped away from him but he couldn't bear it either way so he nodded.

good, because otherwise all this transfiguration would've gone to waste.

"transfiguration- wait- how do you , can you-"

well would you look at the time, the party's about to start, hop on lets get going, no time to dawdle and James nudged Remus into the carriage where Peter had hooked himself up begrudgingly.

"wait why are you doing this, what are you?"

who knows, maybe I'm your fairy godmother or something, did you ever think of that hmm, and frankly,I don't care.

and with that, James was gone.

----------

Sirius sighed. He would have much preferred a quiet celebration with his best mates Peter and James but sure, why not, throw a lavish party, thank you.

Still it's not like he could complain, he liked dancing, he liked people, sometimes, and he liked meeting young men. Sirius knew part of the reason why his mother was hosting this party, so he could find a nice wealthy respectable lady, get hitched, get her prego and create another bundle of tiny blacks.

Not like that would ever happen if men kept looking the way they did, and that didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon so he got ready for the ball.

An hour of prep later, freshly showered and clothed in a black suit with red and gold accents, standing in front of the mirror Sirius was wondering if he should even go to this party in his honor. He could just bail, it's not like he didn't already know all of the men going and that they were all pretty damn straight. and boring, can't forget boring. He could just grab James and Peter, get some firewhiskey and waste the night away, yeah that sounded nice.

Speaking of James and Peter, he was beginning to get worried. Peter had been pretty flighty as of late saying shit like he was seeing his "werewolf friend named Remus that was being abused" honestly, Peter should have outgrown imaginary friends, but that seemed rude to say so Sirius went along with it. He was beginning to grow rather concerned as Peter's description of his, Remus's, abuse was growing rather vivid, and very violent. James on the other hand, well they were attached at the hip. while the blacks and potters didn't necessarily historically get along very well, that had never stopped James and Sirius. maybe he was out prancing in his animagus form? He had been doing that a lot too lately as well. Or maybe he was trying to woo lily, who knew?

finally, James showed up, a half hour before the party started covered in leaves and looking magically exhausted muttering something about "a moon, a giant moon, damn im so fucking good" and laughing to himself.

"Oi James, fucking finally? Where have you been? does this mean we're skipping" James swayed a little in place and Sirius immediately fetched him some water. At the word skipping James straightened up, trying to keep a calm face.

"No no no, it's your 19th birthday. I think you should go, I have a feeling this one'll be special."

that was odd. James and Sirius both knew that his birthday often turned into a shit show as they both grew bored with the company and the whole thing in general and decided to plan a monstrous prank. not something "special." giving up trying to understand the inner workings of James's mind Sirius sighed and said simply

"i have a green suit that will go nicely with your eyes in my closet, get the leaves out of your hair, try to make yourself presentable and I'll go get it" James grinned that classic James grin and saluted

did not mean to hit send yet whoops

"yessir" and began fussing with his hair trying to get leaves and sticks out. Sirius rummaged around in his closet, still worrying about Peter. when he voiced this to James, James merely grinned wider and said "I think he's hanging out with his werewolf friend"

"On my birthday?" Sirius whined James laughed and said simply

"as much as it tries to, the world does not revolve around you."

Sirius sighed dramatically once more, looked at the time, and got ready to go greet his arriving guests

-------------

Remus's family was wealthy, he knew that much, but what he did not know was that his wealth was inconsequential in comparison to the blacks.

a mass of black brick, gargoyles and buttresses that was the black mansion spread across the horizon as the steady line of extravagant carriages grew nearer.

Remus swallowed his nerves and adjusted his hair and after what seemed like ages they arrived. Remus tentatively walked the steps, not trying to feel self conscious as he was walking alone, while everyone else was in groups of around 3 or more.

"name sir?" Oh shit, Remus forgot about this part, the overly dramatic "hey let's announce your whole presence so your abusive family knows you disobeyed them and shit" part. panicking, Remus said baldar io. baldar after one of the arabic words for moon and io after jupiter's moon. shit. he just named himself moon moon.

"SIR BALDAR IO" the man cried out, and more than a few heads turned, at this unfamiliar name.

Remus shrunk under the attention and decided he would make his way over to the buffet as gracefully as possible when the large double doors at the end of the room flung open. Out walked a woman and three men, all with jet black hair. Remus would have assumed that they were all related if it weren't for the jet green eyes of one of them, while the others had a stark grey.

Remus couldn't help it, he was a little amused, and a little disappointed. The infamous blacks were rather ordinary looking, the younger one, that Remus assumed must be Sirius, had short black hair and a hollow gaze. and Then all of them shifted, and Remus's eyes widened as a hush filled the room.

"the young Sirius black!" the woman, his mother, announced. Sirius black was more than Remus could have ever imagined beauty to look like.

his hair was long and black, obviously, but it curled at odd romantic angles, his jawline looked like it was sharp enough to kill, but would settle for helping give gentle kisses instead, his eyes lacked the piercing violent ferocity that the other 3 blacks had, but looked as though it's own ferocity was nothing to be mocked.

Remus openly gaped, and even heard a couple of chuckles around him as people noticed.

the man, Sirius black looked bored yet intrigued by the whole thing, like he was waiting for something special to happen but was disappointed it hadn't happened yet.

Remus had to leave he had to get out, shit how could he even be in the same room as this man without combusting he would never know as he turned to leave, Remus realised he was gathered in the middle of the dance floor with everyone else and the music began to swell.

shit shit shit shit shit.

"I can't help to notice you're looking a little lost." without turning around Remus chuckled

"you would have noticed correctly then"

"So what brings you to the dance floor if not to dance?"

"I was-" Remus turned around and silently gasped, Sirius black was standing in front of him, smirking.

"well then, shall we show them all up and dance absolutely divinely, badar io?"

"I-I'm afraid I wouldn't be doing much showing up as I have no clue what this is,"

"Well you see, this is called a waltz, Shostakovich Waltz No 2 to be precise." Remus rolled his eyes at sirus's teasing.

"Believe it or not I can recognize shostakovich when I hear it, I mean, I do not know how to dance to it. this one looks very specific." Sirius's face broke out into a full fledged grin as he said

"No better time to learn than the present, and I happen to be an excellent partner."

"And a modest one too" Remus said dryly as he awkwardly shuffled, not knowing what to do with his limbs

Sirius noticed and took pity on Remus as he gently grabbed Remus's wrists, and guided the left hand to his shoulder, the right enclosed in his own and then sirus's hand was on his waist, unconsciously circling the fabric there with his thumb. Remus's breath hitched. He was in for a long night.

--------

this one, this one was funny, he was interesting, bloody gorgeous, and best of all, as gay as Sirius was. He had recalled hearing the unfamiliar name "badar io" and was immediately intrigued, but also confused when James laughed like this was the funniest thing since his first prank.

James, taking mercy on Sirius's confused and desperate expression, happened to point out the young rugged looking man that was confused on the dance floor.

And so Sirius had walked up to him, smirking, laying on the Sirius style charm, and then he didn't know how to dance which Sirius really shouldn't have found as endearing as he did, and then, one itsy bitsy final test, Sirius put his hand on badars waist, circling it, very consciously mind you, with his thumb and did a victory dance in his head as badar's breathe hitched.

he was at least a little gay alright.

So the night went and Sirius had only eyes for badar, and it seemed badar only had eyes for him, but more so than in the "hey it's Sirius black, how cool is that" way. like Sirius was his own person, interesting and attractive, and Sirius could've drowned in that look the entire night.

Instead he settled for flirting and far too personal questions. He had never really had the time or patience for small talk and this man was obviously his soulmate.

Sirius had had no belief in soulmates whatsoever until he laid eyes on badar. and his beliefs were only confirmed as he had begun to relax, get into the flow of the music, crack wry and witty jokes, and eventually flirt back.

Sirius had held no belief in true love either, or love at first sight, but as he was quickly learning, he needed to open his mind more.

"favorite color" Sirius asked, dead serious. ha, serious he thought, the pun never failing to amuse him. badar laughed, a sound Sirius thought might possibly be his favorite in the whole wide world.

"You go from, biggest fear, greatest insecurities, what are some of the morals you live by, do you believe in second chances to what's your favorite color?" badar laughed again. "you seem to enjoy doing things backwards. it's silver. What about you?" Sirius stared intently into badars eyes and his answer had changed from the usual red or maroon to a brilliant gold, just like badars own irises

"gold"

"ah yes like your suit which is not at all gaudy in any way shape or form"

"Oi ill have you know this suit is top of the line thankyouverymuch."

"I'll have you know that top of the line can be gaudy, thankyouverymuch"

Sirius laughed for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"do you want to get out of here," he asked?

badar coughed

"ar-are you propositioning me????"

"what- OH- oh no no no, shit, no,Ithought we could go into the garden, give you a break, check out the lights and talk some more maybe?"

"oh, ok, that sounds lovely. but ill have you know I'm not accepting because im tired, im accepting because you look tired and Iobviously have far to much stamina for you"

Sirius laughed again, but truth be told, he wanted to see how much stamina badar really had, he wanted to-

coughing and adjusting himself, he led badar out to the back gardens.

--------------

The blacks had certainly not spared any expense when it came to floriculture, the garden was decked out in strongylodon macrobotrys, chocolate cosmos, dendrophylax lindenii, shenzen nongke orchids and-

Remus laughed, moonflowers, but only magical ones. only ones that bloomed on full moons,

It was odd, hearing Sirius laugh and pay attention to him like he was the most interesting person in the world.

It was odd, hearing himself be referred to as badar.

it was odd, he rather liked badar, it was like an alter ego, a persona, except it felt real. With a start, Remus realized that was because he was simply being his genuine self.

it was odd, seeing the usually confident Sirius black shyly not make eye contact as his soft hands intertwined with Remus's.

It was odd, feeling his own arm move over to run his fingers through Sirius's soft hair.

it was odd, being close enough to count his eyelashes, to feel his breath on his lips, to see every detail of his eyes-

it was odd feeling soft lips pressed against his own for the very first time

it was odd as he relaxed into Sirius's arms, as his eyes fluttered shut, as the tingling drifted from his stomach all the way to his finger tips.

It was odd trusting a person so completely and fully as he did Sirius, and have them not even know his real name.

His moment of bliss was interrupted as he heard an ominous dong of the giant clock in the garden.

Shit shit shit fuck shit fuck dammit fuck

Remus didn't know how he would handle going back, knowing the tenderness he was missing, the soft hands against his own, something kind and loving that was in the world, but he knew he must.

He pulled away frantic and said

"thank you, thank you so, so much- b- but-I really have to go." Sirius looked crestfallen at this but reached out and grabbed Remus's arm before he could fully flee.

"will I see you again" that set off the waterworks for Remus

"No, I don't think you will." The clock rang out again. and pulled Sirius in for one final chaste kiss. and then without knowing what he was doing he cried out "Remus Lupin!"

And he left, stumbling down the stairs of the garden that led into the forest, the one that connected with his own, leaving a moonstone shoe behind.

--------

when Remus woke up approximately an hour later (the moons were shorter when he was happy) He could remember feeling his paws pound against the forest floor. He could remember smelling home, he could remember only barely ripping out his own skin. Then he woke up, in a different kind of agony, like grieving a loss. Then he remembered the list of chores that had been left for him, that had barely seemed possible when he had an extra 3-5 hours to complete them. groaning he got to work.

Peter showed up, and was only mad at Remus for a little bit before he began trying to clean in his own little way.

finally after centuries, though it had only been two hours, Remus finished and, he tucked away his other moonstone shoe, (that for some reason had not transfigured back) and he fell into his bed and right before he fell asleep he could hear a door downstairs open, and the voices of his family walking in.

----------

Sirius was absolutely miserable it was three in the morning and he had gotten incredibly drunk with James and Peter immediately after badar had left. he didn't know why badar had left, why he cried out Remus Lupin, why he had kissed him so sweetly just to say he'd never see him again.

Sirius threw a pillow against the wall, feeling the impact of the sobering potion he had taken, and rubbed the moonstone shoe, the only thing that was reminding him that badar wasn't in fact a hallucination or a dream.

"James, he was just so perfect-Ijust-IthinkIlove him James,I Love him James and i'll never see him again, did you know there was never a badar io in our little town? He gave a fake name James!"

"what about the other name he gave, have you looked into it."

"What do you mean, other name- OH MERLIN ITS A NAME" A glimmer of hope shone in Sirius's eyes as he ran to the library where he knew there was a magic record of all legal documentation of families in their town. Was it illegal? yeah, but Sirius couldn't think about the morality of that right now, he was in love.

"Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin, Lupin Remus, Lupin Remus, Lupin Lupin Lupin ahA!" he cried out after flipping through pages, finally finding the Lupin line. "Remus, Remus, Remus" wait, that wasn't right, that couldn't be-

Remus Lupin, declared dead at age six, cause unknown signed- signed the entire Lupin family, what was going on, he looked down and saw a little photo and a sharp intake of breath could be heard behind him and honestly he did the same.

"James it-it says he's dead- but- but he felt- felt so- so- so- real" tears began to well in Sirius's eyes "How can he be dead?" but James wasn't paying attention, he was staring at the paper muttering

"they're worse than I thought I can't believe they would do that,I Can't believe-"

"James what's going on?" Sirius asked, his voice small.

"I guess you deserve to know,-"

James continued " what happens on a full moon?"

"What do you mean what happens on a full moon, James the hell?"

"What happens on a full moon at midnight" something clicked in Sirius's mind though he wasn't quite sure what yet.

"Werewolves but James what-"

"What would a wealthy, respectable family do if they had a son bitten by a werewolf at age six but couldn't kill him?"

"I Mean maybe fake his death and keep him hidden but don't see-HOLY SHIT" James nodded gravely.

"Those bastards, how could they do that to him!!!?!?"

"Before you decide to go charging in, you need to think, you're still the heir to the black family, think of something crazy, ridiculous and plausible that could get you safely into the Lupin household."

"Jamesy my boy, do you even know who you're talking to?" Sirius said with a mischievous grin

------

Sirius woke to the sound of giggling and his sisters running downstairs.

It was 11 in the morning, they had let the monster sleep him, how nice. He must have done a good job last night at cleaning. Gingerly he climbed down the ladder and stopped one of his sisters, Drizella.

"Drizella, what's going on? Remus queried. Drizella sniffed

"If you must know, Sirius black has announced he's looking for his true love, and whoever fits the shoe that was left behind by her!"

"Who's ‘her’?"

"Apparently he danced with one maiden and one maiden alone the entire night and she had to leave at midnight but didn't give him a real name and as he ran off, she left behind a moonstone shoe!"

A maiden now, was he? Remus chuckled in his mind and headed back to his room.

As he sat down, he pulled out the moonstone shoe and held it softly against his chest as a reminder of-

Suddenly he heard an outraged squeak to his left and saw his father standing in the trapdoor of the attic, looking royally pissed off, and then he saw the door shut, heard the key lock, all before he could get there

And then he was pounding on the door, splinters in his fists scrapes on his palms and then he heard "he's coming by today, your prince charming, and he will marry one of my daughters and you'll never, ever see him again."

Remus cried out and buried his face in his hands unsure of what to do.

This time hours went by, and Remus was sure they were hours because he counted every last second. Then he heard a scritching noise under his bed so he looked and out shot Peter, looking concerned as he could be

what'd you do this time to be trapped in here Peter squeaked, horrified.

"I wooed the ever charming Sirius black and that was a no no"

Peter sputtered nonstop, starting and restarting sentences, when at that moment something crashed into Remus's room from the window.

"What the-" Remus began but was cut off by the new black haired green eyed arrivals

"Ok so Sirius is down stairs getting ready to slip the shoe on your sisters, he would rather only try you but we didn't count on you being locked up here" wait, was that.... James?

a voice behind them piped up.

"We could try to explode the trapdoor!" Pete added- wait Peter? Remus whipped around and groaned Peter was not a rat, well not at the moment, but he was still Peter. Remus could smell him, could hear the intonations in his voice.

"Animaguses,I Should have bloody known"

James just grinned that classic James grin and continued. "you better hurry,Ithink you're father's gonna try to fight the magic that Sirius placed on the shoe."

"what magic, why would he need magic."

"well, he kind of said... thathewouldmarrywhoevertheshoefit, because they would obviously be the one he danced with all night, and then-" James trailed off, thinking of words.

"-he knew that people would "be dying to get their paws on him maritally," his quote, not mine and so he placed a spell that the shoe would only fit the person it last belonged to but there are ways to overcome a spell and you're fathers attempting them right now also a sacred oath may or may not be involved in the whole 'ill marry whoever the shoe fits' thing."

"if the shoe fits, wear it" Remus muttered under his breath and then louder continued "Okey dokey so we don't have time to unpack all that but first- why this whole finding the feet of my 'princess' thing? if he really wanted to see me couldn't he have just, i don't know, broken down doors to find me or something."

"Always the romantic, Remus" Peter rolled his eyes.

"well, see, he's the heir to the black title, and well as much as he would love to abandon it all, he thinks he has a chance to use all that wealth and influence for good." Remus vaguely remembered Sirius implying something of the sort last night so he nodded, and James continued "so he couldn't just waltz in peoples houses being like 'ayo, are yalls Remus Lupin, lets get funky if you are' and such so thus, the extravagant plan was hatched." Remus laughed, that was just so like Sirius to do that it was ridiculous.

then at that moment a scream could be heard downstairs. shit

The three of them paled and Sirius and Peter ran over to the trap door, having a heated conversation back and forth about "what could we do" "uh levicorpus" "thats an ankle levitation charm, idiot." "Well maybe it would have levitated the ankle of the trap door and we could have gotten out." Peter hissed back, but Remus was barely paying attention to them.

He was instead, looking out the broken window James had crashed in on. realizing what must be done, Remus stepped on the window sill, and jumped.

To be honest, Remus had never tried to jump from 3 stories before but he could do 2, so what was one entire story difference? A lot apparently as he landed on his ankle with a thud, there was only so much a non moon werewolf could do.

Not letting it deter him and ignoring the confused cries from James and Sirius, Remus ran around to the front door.

when he finally arrived he could hear muffled sobs from Anastasia and his father's cold, uncaring voice. Not wasting another second Remus flung open the door, rage in his face.

Remus gasped as he entered the room, seeing the pile of blood at Anastasia's feet, seeing Drizellas shocked expression that she was next, seeing his father's frigid and determined expression, and his mother's sickly face that looked like she was regretting many things. Lyall had cut off her toes to fit the shoe. The bastard.

tired, ageless rage filled Remus and he was about to make good use of his werewolf wandless magic but stopped when he saw Sirius's confused, terrified, and admittedly freaked out face about the whole toe thing turn into one of relief and unmitigated joy. That stopped Remus cold in his tracks.

No, he'd made it this far in life with being a werewolf without killing anyone,no, he'd made it this far in life without being a monster and he wasn't about to change that now. Remus waved his hand and Drizella gasped as Anastasia's toes stitched themselves to her foot. Then he pointed his index finger at lyall.

His father was flung against the wall, pinned by an invisible force. Remus stepped forward coldly. He thought of everything he felt for Peter, Sirius, and even James, the meddling bastard. He thought of how it felt to be in Sirius's arms, how it felt to have them taken away and any lingering doubts disappeared.

"I am more human than you will ever be" Remus hissed and with that he dropped him, leaving him gasping for air.

Sirius recognized his cue and got on one knee, presenting the no longer blood covered shoe, thanks to a quick cleaning charm.

"hey Remus, sorry about all this."

"it's dramatic and gaudy and undeniably you,I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sirius grinned at this, and said "you know,I don't think you should ever consider a future in fortune telling, you said I would never see you again, and look where we are."

Remus's voice cracked "you have no idea how glad I am I was wrong." he whispered.

Sirius gestured to the shoe and Remus's scratched up bare feet, "may i" he asked nervously.

Remus slipped his foot into the shoe cautiously and then there was bright blinding light emerging from the shoe and then all at once it stopped.

Remus was standing in the suit he had been wearing the night before and so was Sirius.

Unable to help it, he flung into Sirius's open arms, needing to reacquaint himself with the feeling.

tenderly, Sirius tipped Remus's chin up

"hi" was all Sirius said, but this time it was Remus who closed the gap.

"hello, my names Remus, soon to be black I think at this point" Sirius beamed at this and said

"Remus black, I think I rather like that, well at least a lot more than moon moon" he teased, Remus laughed

"I panicked ok?"

"and so your instinct was just 'moons'? I'll have to keep that in mind in case I ever spring anything on you. 'hey babe can you do the dishes' 'uh hi my names esmeray ophelia'"

"ah, resorted to the dishwasher,I take it my fortune telling career did not go so well."

"Nope, i'm afraid it didn't, but it's so nice that you have an incredibly wealthy boyfriend/fiance/husband thing, how nice is that."

"Yes I am eternally grateful for my sugar daddy, my glucose guardian, my carbohydrate caretaker, my sucrose sweetheart-" Sirius laughed, and put his hands up in defeat

"you win, you win"

and Remus thought of all that he had gained in a matter of a day, his humanity, the love of his life, friends that were actually human (that part was rather weird and he was still reeling) and an escape from his family.

"Yes I rather think I did" and closed the distance once more

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mandaloriangf · 4 years

Text

you know what fuck it alternate last jedi scenes

not fully thought out but roll with me

were introduced to luke as rey tries to give him back the lightsaber. his face is full of sadness and there is an air of palpable loss. he pushes it back into her hand, closing her fingers overtop of it. they have some dialogue, where she pleads to be trained and he declines, referencing the loss he experienced the last time he taught force users. she pleads again, trying to emphasize the necessity and drastic situation witu the force order. luke doesnt answer and instead asks her how she found him. rey responds that a few droids, and commander organa helped her. luke visibly perks up at the mention of organa, and quietly asks "...Leia?". Rey nods and replies "She misses you. R2, and Threepio too." Luke sits down, and motions for rey to join him, and she does. Luke stares out over the sea towards the horizon. Almost wistfully, he begins to speak. "We trained together, once. Leia and I. She took to it like a fish to water. We had to stop, though. Force training.... It takes time. Time she didnt have. The galaxy needed her, still needs her. Theres always a place for women like her, strong, devoted, determined, focused. Always somethin that needs doin, needs fixin." He pauses for a moment, staring off into the sea. "...Theres no place for people like me anymore. Not out there. Im a relic of the past, just like the temple here. Past its time..." He looks over to Rey. "The battle youre facing, it wont be easy. Whenever shadow falls over the galaxy, it spreads. Fast. And it doesnt let go without a fight. You, Leia, your friends... I hope you're prepared for a war, because thats what theyll give you. And.... I can't send you into somethin like that unprepared. Couldn't call myself a Jedi otherwise, not that theres anyone left to care. I'll train you, as best i can, make sure you have a fighting chance." As he says this, Rey grins widely, and excitedly goes to hand him the lightsaber, but his face becomes stern. "Only in the force though. No lightsaber training." Rey goes to protest, that she has to know how to fight the first order, but luke repeats himself. "No. Thats my one condition. I'll train you, for Leia, and for the light, but I wont train you with the saber, not now and not ever." His expression is one that brokers no arguments. Looking dissapointed, Rey agrees to his terms, and Luke lightens up, and now you can see some of the luke of the original trilogy luke in him. Rey gets her own room, and Luke trains her in the ways of the force. She has noticeable strong points and weak spots. Shes a natural at aspects of using the force on people. She excels at using the forces connections to people, to persuade like in the interrogation room, but luke shows her other aspects of it as well. It is revealed that during her fight with kylo in tfa, she unconsciously tapped into this ability and used the force to bolster herself, to sharpen her senses and reflexes, and to use the force to predict kylos attacks, and that it was triggered by her worry for finn. Luke further explains that through the force all things are connected, and noticing her natural inclination towards force connections, encourages her to try and see if she can use the force to see someone. luke explains that its easier with people you feel a strong bond and connection to, and as rey meditates, we see the screen pan to finn, before hes awoken from his coma. Rey frowns, and murmurs to him "I promise I'll make this right for you, Finn" and, as if in response, we see Finn stir slightly, but doesnt awaken. She then visits chewie, who is working on the milleniun falcon with poe, and then to Leia, who senses Rey and smiles towards her, knowing that shes found luke and that theyre both okay. Afterwards, Luke explains that most of the study of the force focused on its ability for combat, and that reys talents could have uses even he might not know of, foreshadowing the use of the force to heal in TROS (rn im leaning towards force healing and force inspiration being finns primary talents, and finn healing poe).

Sometime during the night after training with luke, rey has another dream, similar to the one when she held anakins lightsaber. We hear a familiar voice repeat "Rey... these are the first steps..." as the camera pans through the island towards a secluded location. Another night, rey decides to find it, and follows the path in her vision, until she finds someone in a cloak. As she approaches, the figure turns towards her, and pulls down the hood, revealing ewan macgregor!obi wan, in the outfit he wore as ben on tattoinne. they have some small talk, and obi wan says that while he understands lukes reasoning, its important for rey to know how to wield her saber. rey asks what he means, because luke wont tell her. obi wan recounts the betrayal of ben solo and how he became kylo ren. rey asks how he knows luke, and obi wan replies that he was the last of the jedi, and that he trained luke as he trains rey now. rey notices his use of past tense, and how that would make him even older than luke now, and yet he doesnt look it. obi wan replies that the universe is out of balance, and that those that have passed may return through the force, if there is a need for it. From then on, as luke trains rey in the force, obi wan trains her to use a light saber at night. During the montage we notice that while rey starts off strong, she eventually starts to struggle with the saber, and gets frustrated. Obi Wan explains that the wielder and the saber must be as one, and that the saber chooses the wielder. In confusion, rey asks "Didnt it choose me?" referencing her vision in tfa. Obi Wan explains that the saber is old, and that it was calling out for someone, and that rey heard it, but its true wielder is someone else. Obi Wan then explains that to continue her training, she must forge her own light saber, and explains what that entails. Rey seems excited at the prospect, and her background as a scrapper is put to use. She makes the handle with ease, using bits and pieces of scrap around the island, and seems pleased with the result. The handle is inelegant, but not ugly, and while cobbled together from various pieces, there is a kind of unity to them. It more closely resembles reys staff. The final piece is kyber crystal, retrieved from within the jedi temple. While Rey journeys through it with Obi Wan, they talk, and Rey comments on how familiar obi wan is, despite never having met him before. Obi Wan smiles sadly and remarks that she reminds him of someone as well. Long ago, the jedi werent hunted down, and he had to flee into hiding after losing everything dear to him. He tried to settle down into a normal life, and met someone and started a family, but their child was force sensitive, and drew the attention of the empire. His family was split apart as they fled, and he never saw them again. Luke, to him, reminded him of the family he never got to have, and now he is reminded once again...

I have no idea how to continue from here, but heres some key points

-Rey Kenobi babeyyyyyy that was always my fave theory. Obi Wan never got to raise his children, and they lived their life unaware of their force sensitivity. They eventually had rey, but her own force sensitivity drew the attention of the first order. They left her on jakku to keep her safe, intending to return, but the first order killed them before they could

-FINN SKYWALKER anakins lightsaber chose him, but because of age and neglect, could only weakly call out. Rey was the first force sensitive who touched it, sparking it to life. After finn used it in tfa, it yearns to go back to him, and fulfill its destiny of restoring balance. Both finn and the lightsaber cast off their dark past to restore balance and justice to the galaxy

-Some nice scenes with obi wan and luke, and some with leia and luke. its a damned shame they didnt interact more in the sequel trilogy.

-Snoke abuses reys force connection ability, as that is also his talent, and uses kylo to block and antagonize rey

-Most of reys training is interspersed throughout the movie as the pov changes between her, finn, and poe

-lots of references to the last jedi so the audience thinks it could mean different things, until the end of tlj, where finn finds out hes force sensitive and the heir to the skywalker legacy and lightsaber, and that its him who is the last true jedi

-i didnt watch tlj or tros so i have no idea what happened in those movies to reference those plot points here, sorry (unu)

-TLJ is interspered with scenes of kylo bein a nazi fuck and plot build up for him and snoke being the anatagonists of tros

-disney pay me for the emotional damages i suffered from knowing r#ylo happened

OMG i really really really like your way of explaining that the lightsaber actually calls to finn

#long post #tros spoilers #sw spoilers #submission #star wars

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rantshemlock · 4 years

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you heard it right folks, for the second year in a row i watched

Every Halloween Film

it took around 18 hours. there are eleven movies now after all. next year there will be twelve, and next year i will throw myself into the river thames if i make myself watch Rob Zombie’s Halloween II again.

this time i wrote it out as a journal. it is a mess. i will not edit it. if you read the entire thing you dont get a prize. im very, very tired. i watched eleven movies today. i like five of them.

9:27- I boot up Halloween (1978). I don’t know if this is the movie I’ve seen the most in my life, but I’ve certainly seen it dozens of times, and it never loses its impact. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m reading into micro-expressions on actors’ faces and I don’t know how much any of this was ever intended, but it certainly enhances my own reading of the film. I catch the expression of slight annoyance on Judith’s face when Michael walks into her room; it’s clear she had just no idea this was coming.

9:37- The staging of the opening of Halloween is so like a nightmare, a comparison I keep using this year for the movies I watch, but there’s a sense of being placed in the immediacy of what’s happening with no context and a burden of responsibility that only exists in dreams in the first few opening scenes. You don’t know where you are or what you’re supposed to be doing, but something huge and terrible is happening and the thick, dark shadows combined with the pale white-blue light the film uses makes everything emerge out of the black but never truly divorce itself from the darkness.

The way Loomis talks about Michael like some kind of animal is such a point of fixation for me. He calls Michael ‘it’ and wants ‘it’ to be locked up for life. Maybe it’s just being of a crazy persuasion myself but being the responsibility of a doctor who despises you and refers to you as an untreatable evil doesn’t feel like it would be much help to me. I just don’t think Loomis is a great doctor, is my point.

Laurie’s introduction is such a surge of light in a film that has up until now been shot almost exclusively in darkness. We are shown someone good, normal, happy, but the long, distant shots mean we are not accompanying her on this journey from her perspective; we are following her. Halloween legend suggests Michael doesn’t start stalking Laurie until she approaches the Myers’ house, but it feels like his eyes are lingering on her long before she does that. He casts a long shadow over her life before she even knows he exists.

9:42- The fact the film approaches the idea that it doesn’t make sense Michael would know how to drive a car but doesn’t explain it at all is weirdly funny. Just fuck it man, he can drive.

9:45: I really love the focus on Michael as a physical being. The fact we see him touch someone with his hands, open a car, steer while driving, run his hand over a fence… All of this adds a sense of Michael being tangible that I think is so vital. Michael Myers is a human being, not a demon, and that’s precisely why he is scary. Halloween as always meant to be a movie about the person next door; the fear comes from the fact that something inside your apparently nice, normal neighbourhood is rotten to the core. Laurie herself is incredibly on edge almost from the start; she knows something is wrong. She just hasn’t figured out what yet.

9:57- The gravekeeper’s insistence that something like this happens in every town is probably right on the money. It’s definitely what the film wants you to understand. The apparent nicety of your hometown doesn’t mean it’s free of violence, only that you’re trained not to notice it.

10:01- at exactly 0:33:16 Michael drives by in the background right behind Loomis without Loomis noticing, which is hysterically funny to me. I imagine Michael finds this incredibly funny too.

10:02- Laurie saying she’d “rather go to the dance with Ben Traimor” smacks of being a teenager and gay and saying the name of the first kid you know who’s nice to you because you guess that’s what having a crush is?

10:05- Loomis’ insistence at 0:37:12 that Michael killed and ate a dog raw is incredible to me. Also, I can’t say “Michael raw dog” to my friends without them screaming hysterically at me. They’re fuckers, and I hate them

10:07- From Loomis’ description, he met Michael when Michael was six, already condemned by the doctors as an incurable patient, and stopped treating Michael and turned to insisting he be locked up by the time Michael was fourteen. I think about this a lot.

10:13- “I’m not about to let anything happen to you.” I’m always very touched by Laurie’s immediate assertion of her position as a protector of children.

10:19- Lindsay caring literally only about watching horror movies is incredibly relatable. Truly a hero I can finally understand.

10:28- The house across the street, Lindsay’s house, is almost as haunting as the Myers house itself. It’s certainly a beautiful spectacle, the huge white building with its pillars and vast, blank windows, looming out of the darkness like a moon-lit tombstone. Laurie always seems so lonely when she watches it from the outside.

10:33- The head tilt after Michael pins Bob to the wall is so fucking iconic. It’s the first time it was done, I believe, and while it’s a cliché now it’s still chilling. The way Michael just studies Bob’s corpse, thoughts completely unable to be interpreted. The fact he turfs up in a ghost costume wearing Bob’s glasses moments later is so strange; there’s really no reason he would do that at all, other than the idea he finds it funny. There’s more showmanship to what Michael does than people recognise a lot of the time, I think. It’s like he really wants his work to be seen.

10:43- The shot of Annie on the bed under Judith’s tombstone has to be one of the most beautiful shots in the franchise. The perfect arrangement made just for Laurie to walk in on and experience in one precise way is so meticulous. Michael’s obsessiveness nature manifest in so many ways. The final showdown between Michael and Laurie is only around ten minutes long but it’s an incredible endurance test of a scene; the way Michael grows out of the shadows like he’s being formed within them is still beautiful and terrifying.

I think a really underrated part of this sequence that makes it so frightening is how Laurie is pointedly not alone; the neighbourhood she’s in is populated, and there are people around her. But when she runs to the neighbours for help, screaming and banging on the doors, they choose to ignore her. Seeing something they don’t like in their neighbourhood, they shut it out.

10:50- the closet scene is an incredible piece of filmmaking. There’s really never been anything before or since. I love art with a lot of lines and shadows and seeing the shadow of Michael moments before he breaks through the door is so haunting.

10:52- Laurie desperate and holding the knife in her hands is stunning. I love her.

10:54- I love the brief glimpse of seeing Michael’s face and how it stops him dead in his tracks. The fact he looks so painfully normal is so important too.

10:55- There’s a lot to be said about Loomis confirming Michael is ‘the Boogeyman’. I think Michael’s definite physical humanity in this movie is so important because it contrasts so strongly against the dehumanisation of him by the characters around him. We can only accept there’s a nightmare inside our neighbourhoods if we choose to believe it isn’t natural to it; that someone like that could not form there, but must have been artificially summoned, like a demon. Later movies and the remakes run with this idea; that Michael is somehow an outsider, but I think that defeats the entire point. Michael is part of this world just as much as Laurie is, whether we want to believe it or not.

10:57- I should be starting Halloween II but unfortunately, I have to go to the pharmacy. It might be Halloween, but prescription medications wait for no slasher villain.

11:13- I start watching Halloween II (1981). I like that this movie starts off with Mr Sandman. Horror movies having nursery rhymes in them now is another cliché, but this is such an interesting pick for Michael. I suppose it fits with him being the Boogeyman; he’s a creature of nightmares that slinks into our homes only through dreams. Allegedly.

I like the decision to pick this movie up right after the last one stopped, something that it looks like 2020’s Halloween Kills will be duplicating. It just makes a straightforward kind of sense.

11:21- The hysteria of Loomis screaming “I shot him six times!” over and over is sort of funny and sort of sick. There’s a slight traumatised, obsessive lunacy in Loomis the same as there is in Michael. I like the parallels between them. Loomis raised Michael more than Michael’s own parents did; it makes sense he’d have a lingering affect.

11:23- The shots from Michael’s perspective both in the first movie and this one are great. I love that we’re challenged to be inside his mind. We follow Michael a lot in this early opening. There’s an obvious strategy to his actions in this film, but the randomness of his kills are new. In the first movie, all the kills either get him something or revolve around Laurie. In this one, he kind of just does whatever, a theme that carries on for the rest of the movie.

11:24- A difference I don’t like so much in this movie is that the neighbours are so much more keyed into each other; they pay attention to the screaming and the strange noises, watch out for things that look out of place. I feel like it clashes with the first movie’s themes of isolation simply through your neighbours not caring what happens to you.

11:32- Ben Traimor getting hit by a cop car which crashes into a van and then explodes is one of the funniest fucking things that’s ever happened in this franchise. It is so completely fucking inexplicable and suddenly violent and pointless that it becomes hysterical, which is unfortunate given it’s meant to be a serious scene.

The breakdown scene that follows, where the Sheriff Brackett finds his daughter Annie is dead however is excellent. Charles Cyphers manages to carry the weight of the tragedy pretty effectively for a film that can veer into the goofy too easily, and Dr Loomis’ more measured delivery on his beliefs about Myers is Donald Pleasance at his best.

Halloween II isn’t any longer than Halloween, but the pacing is worse. It lets go of the original’s constant, haunting tension and delivers a sloppier movie as a result, too padded with side characters and people passing through the world with no consequence. The character of Brett is probably one of the most obnoxious characters in the franchise, which is saying a lot.

11:46- Laurie literally not knowing it was Michael Myers who was after her until she’s told is weirdly sad. Like of course she didn’t know, but it’s still sad. She feels very small and vulnerable in this movie, very lost in the big, empty hospital. The fact her parents are inexplicably missing and never shows up makes me crazy. I always wonder if there was a dropped plot thread where Michael was meant to have killed them, or something, because there’s really no explanation.

11:53- The musical stings in this movie are so odd. They’re too bleepy. Don’t know what the hell happened.

11:55- I take the laptop into the kitchen to make a sandwich while I watch the movie. It’s early for lunch but I don’t eat breakfast and I can actively feel my braincells hurting me.

12:01- I’m fascinated by the shots in this of the faint dream Laurie has of seeing a boy in the hospital when she was a child. I can never decide if these are real or not; if she’s unlocking some strange, contextless memory from childhood or just imagining it, instinctively feeling the connection between her and Michael without knowing the truth.

12:04- Bud’s off-screen death is so unsatisfying. Also, so continues the trend of Michael being mistaken for people’s boyfriends. Guess he’s just boyfriend material. Seems unbelievable to me she wouldn’t notice how dirty his hands are, though. And Jesus, the boiling her to death kill is really pretty brutal and graphic, after kills in the first few movies are so relatively restrained.

12:07- Michael writing SAMHAIN on the wall is so over the top. Yeah, I can believe he’s fucking 21 years old. Michael is a performance art student.

12:09- Laurie having Michael’s ability to go deadly still and silent is neat. I like them having links. They’re siblings after all. Runs in Myers family.

12:11- The needle into the side of the head kill is bizarre. Also, the head-tilt here feels cheap. I have already started stealing candy from the bowl intended for trick-or-treaters. In my defence, I could, and I wanted it.

12:20- I like that Laurie has an instinct to run, hide and defend herself. I don’t know if it’s the trauma of surviving or a prenatural sense that Michael is coming for her, but I like it. I don’t like that this entire movie is like twenty minutes longer than it needs to be, or how little Laurie is actually in it.

12:28- The reveal that Laurie is Michael’s sister is so great. It fits so well. I say bullshit to anyone who doesn’t like it. The repetition and obsessiveness of Michael’s behaviour, the strange links and parallels between Laurie and Michael. The fact that the two of them are just as much parts of Haddonfield as each other. It just feels right for them to be related. They are related.

12:31- Laurie crawling on the street begging for help as Loomis ignores her again – this man is truly useless.

12:33- Michael walking directly through a glass door is hysterical.

12:38- Laurie calling Michael’s name, stopping him for a second, blinding him with a shot… This last sequence is fantastic. There’s an enormous amount of pity in seeing Michael blindly stumbling around, swinging his knife, unable to see but still so desperate to kill. The fact she stops him by calling his name is great. The way it almost, for a second, perks some recognition inside him. I think a lot about Michael’s sense of identity. Who does he think he is? I guess we’re never going to find out.

12:43- Halloween III: Season of the Witch time. There’s a trend now of saying this is really the best Halloween movie. I can’t really argue with people’s personal takes, but there’s always a sense to that to me of denying the classic to favour the underdog. People love an underdog. But Halloween III definitely does kind of rule. As much conspiracy thriller as it is horror movie, Halloween III is deeply weird and creative, but packed with great performances and truly memorable special effects, with a killer soundtrack to boot.

1:11- Halloween III is so distinct feeling; it almost feels like a John Carpenter movie, but more like The Thing than Halloween. The film is less aesthetically distinct than Halloween; it takes place over days, in many locations, following the characters as they dig into the conspiracy behind the menacing Silver Shamrock company. It’s well-written and often pretty witty and builds an incredible sense of menace and strangeness. The little company town surrounding the Silver Shamrock factory is bizarre and frightening and although the film can be a little heavy-handed in its depiction of a surveillance state, it certainly builds up atmosphere.

1:20- The scene of the old drunk being taken out by the corporate men in black rules in how suddenly violent and horrible it is. We love a horror movie.

1:26- Some of the digital effects leave a little to be desired but god the practical effects are fucking incredible, and so goddamn memorable and horrible.

1:33- The over-the-top niceness of the Silver Shamrock owner is so pitch-perfect. He’s so nice that it’s obviously, blatantly menacing. What owner of a big corporation like this just gives shit away for free? I mean, come on. I really love the apparent legends that surround him, though, the reputation of being a genius and a great man.

1:48- The complete calmness with which the whole plan gets revealed is so good because you really sense how fucking little threat our heroes pose; no one here thinks they have a chance in hell of stopping Silver Shamrock. The plan in itself is absurd, but like, who cares. It’s fun. The fact Cochran is like, delighted to show off his big ideas because he’s so confident nothing will stop them. And in a way he’s right; at least partially, the heroes do ultimately fail.

2:00- the speech Cochran delivers about the power of Samhain rules. It’s so intense and menacing. Fucking great performance here.

2:07- As much as I like the ending, I think how much it drags on kind of kills some of the tension. Feels like it could have been cut back. The imagery at the very end is fantastic though; it’s so weird. The way this movie embraces strangeness is great; I’ll always take a film that tries to be something different and weird over anything that plays it safe.

2:20- Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. Jesus we’re starting down a dark path now. Halloween 4 is pretty thoroughly ‘ok’ and even has a couple of good moments but God. The decision to return to just being about Michael Myers after risking and flopping with an anthology movie is fine by me, but Halloween 4 plays it as safe as possible and lacks any of the flair or charm of the original. It just doesn’t have any style, and the forced drama falls short. Jamie Lee Curtis’ absence also feels like a sucking void in the film; it’s too painfully obvious that she was meant to be in this movie, and the fact she isn’t, the fact she died off-screen in some completely nondescript way is so depressing. The filmmakers assumed no one watching gave a shit about Laurie, and that’s so wrong and so disheartening.

2:25- the other doctors hating Loomis really adds to my reading of him as a man on the brink. He must be insufferable to know.

2:30- It really feels so painfully fucking unfair that Laurie would go through so much to just die in a random car accident. Or maybe there’s a kind of poetry in her dying without Michael’s involvement; just part of her own life.

2:36- Donald Pleasance is such a mensch. As stupid as these movies get, he never stopped bringing his fucking A-game and giving them as much respect and gravitas as he could. What a fucking legend.

2:41- Loomis seeing Michael in the diner is so fucking good. Loomis’ quiet pleading, asking Michael not to go back to Haddonfield but just take him instead, the quiet God damn you. Such a great moment. Would be better if Michael didn’t just suddenly teleport out of the room with no explanation, but you can’t have it all.

2:42- Why are later Halloween movies so fond of explosions.

2:43- The kids literally chanting ‘Jamie’s an orphan’ at her is incredible. Not in a good way.

2:50- I fetch the kitten to keep him on my lap because my house is colder than Michael Myers’ black heart.

2:55- Michael looking at Laurie’s photos… Ugh.

2:56- Why do people not just believe Loomis when he says Michael is back. We have this thread every week, comrade.

3:06- Michael just kinda standing around in the background doesn’t really do much in terms of fear. It’s just silly. And his mask looks ridiculous.

3:12- This film is a masterclass in failing to raise tension.

3:23- There’s an attempt to manufacture conflict by having the police clash with a group baying for mob justice, but it all feels completely inert. Nothing in the film carries any weight or drama, and the tension is all derived from using familiar music stings to try and kick your brain into recognising it’s an appropriate place to feel something.

3:25- The kitten bites me, drinks my water, and goes to sit in a box instead. I hate him. The kill where Michael stabs someone through the gut with a shotgun and pins them to the wall is the most flagrantly absurd thing I’ve ever seen. The fact she’s immediately found also really kills the tension. Also why is Michael so fucking strong. He’s so strong.

3:31- I can see the intention with the roof scene, but there’s too much unintentional comedy and Michael is so unthreatening that it doesn’t hold together at all. I especially hate how Michael will just suddenly appear out of nowhere; the first movie utilises his forming out of the shadows so well, but it doesn’t fucking work the same if he’s just there, in a formerly empty and well-lit corridor. He’s not being beamed in by a spaceship.

3:39- God this film is slow. Michael’s hands look absolutely terrifically fucked up. I wish Laurie was here.

3:41- It is insufferable how this film has like ten climaxes. Jamie running to inspect Michael really just doesn’t make any sense. I understand why the filmmakers did it, but it doesn’t make sense. They allude to some connection between the two, but it’s really underplayed and doesn’t pay out well when so much of the movie is her being flatly scared of him. They could have – and should have – acted more on the idea of her finding some sort of familiar connection between them. Famously, the movie ends with the idea Jamie might have somehow inherited Michael’s drive to murder, but the plot thread disappointingly gets dropped after this movie.

3:47- It’s time for Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. God, this movie is such a non-entity in the franchise. It doesn’t have 6’s turbulent history or 4’s dramatic ending. It just like, occurs. It occupies space and time. It tries to further the connection between Jamie and Michael, turning it into something psychic and supernatural, and begins to introduce elements of the Cult of Thorne before that takes over as the plot of 6, but none of it is interesting and I also hate the attempt to make Halloween a supernatural franchise.

4:04- The totally legal for sure stream I’m using starts fucking up so everything takes a break while I find somewhere else to watch it.

4:05- Contemplate if life is worth it.

4:06- Film returns. It’s not worth it.

4:27- If screaming at kids was always Dr Loomis’ brand of psychiatry no wonder he couldn’t help Michael.

4:30- You really need to put in more effort than this if you want to make someone being murdered in broad daylight scary. If you’re not putting in the kind of effort Midsommar does to sell the death, you aren’t gonna get there. Halloween as a franchise seems obnoxiously dedicated to doing shit in the middle of the fucking day, for something who built the power of the original scares so much off of the quiet and darkness of the shadows.

4:39- Imagine leaving a traumatised child alone because you want to get laid. Tina’s character is fucking absurd. There are far too much entirely interchangeable faces in this movie screaming incoherently.

4:57- The scene of Michael desperately trying to run Jamie over with a car while the camera swings around hysterically and then the car inexplicably exploding is like peak mid-sequel Halloween. It really exemplifies how much the franchise started relying on noise and flash instead of like, being scary.

5:02- Loomis begging Michael to ‘fight the rage that drives you’ and saying that killing will never drive the anger out is too little too late, ain’t it. I like the idea of an appeal to his emotions but there’s so little emotional weight to the rest of the movie that it fails to maintain a meaningful tone. All the moments where Jamie is communing with Michael are supposed to drive tension I guess, but it mostly is just very silly.

5:09- Every set in this movie look so much like a set. Considering the first movie was just shot in a house I don’t understand why they didn’t do the same. I like the prospect of Loomis trying to talk to Michael, to get through to him emotionally, but seeing Michael just standing there in the really goofy fucking mask they gave him this film is just ridiculous. Donald Pleasance can only do so much.

5:19- Again we return to the idea of getting through to Michael emotionally. Jamie calls him uncle and asks for him to take his mask off. He does, even. But there doesn’t feel like there’s any understanding of who Michael is; there’s no consistent psychology or examination, only the gut feeling that family has to be important. But we know how Michael feels about family, and it’s not tender. He speaks his own language.

5:21- Where the fuck did Loomis even get a giant chain net and tranquiliser drafts.

5:25- Sure why wouldn’t a guy with a machine gun show up and just start slaughtering everyone like who the fuck cares.

5:28- I take a break to gather my thoughts and feelings emotionally so I can handle watching Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:32- I change the cat litter to avoid watching Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:40- I start Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:50- The woman calls into radio station and says she’s in love with Michael Myers is the only person in this film I respect.

5:51- The decision to bring back Tommy Doyle as a conspiracy theorist who’s obsessed with Michael is a great concept, which is why I’m glad Tommy Doyle is in Halloween Kills so I never have to say Halloween 6 makes a point again. Paul Rudd (yes, that Paul Rudd) is shockingly terrible in this movie, and also, I don’t like him as an actor, so nothing about this performance endears him to me. I have no fucking idea what they directed him to do. It is miserable.

6:01- I am straight up not having a good time bro.

6:03- This is the only Halloween movie in a long time to actually try and show off its location; Halloween 5 could be set literally anywhere and is unfollowable, but Halloween 6 at least attempts to ground the movie in Haddonfield and show that this is a normal neighbourhood. Unfortunately, this movie takes place in nonsense magic doo-doo land so any attempt to ground us in anything is a waste of fucking time.

6:13- There’s a lot of reasons I don’t like this movie; I think the additions of mythology are absurd and go against the themes of the original, the conclusion is dumb as hell, the story is boring. It isn’t scary and it isn’t well-shot or well-written. But on a more abstract level, I hate its schlock, cheap understanding of what obsession and trauma does to someone. I fucking loathe that it uses rape as a shock tactic and how much abuse it puts its female characters through for no catharsis.

6:50- This curry I’m eating sucks ass. I want that on the record.

7:22- Jesus fucking Christ it’s finally time for Halloween H20: 20 Years Later. I love this movie. I love it for the ambition it had. It might not be a as fully realised examination of trauma after time as Halloween (2018) is, but I admire it for its vision. It doesn’t try to mimic the style of the first film, and I guess there’s a certain loss in aesthetic as it’s more akin to Scream or other fairly uniform 90s slasher movies in appearance, but it’s a far more confident movie than the other middling Halloween sequels. It has a clear understanding of what it wants the movie to be and is genuinely tense and thrilling because of that, as well as more readily grounded in reality. It has a genuine respect for the original that others fail to and tries to build an original film that follows it in a meaningful sense.

7:56- Laurie is really condemned to be around people who don’t listen to her but as much of a horrible little punk shit her son is, narratives about inherited or family trauma make me go insane, so this all affects me still.

8:01- I like the discussion of fate in Frankenstein as parallel to the discussion of fate in the first movie. It’s silly, but I like it, and that’s on me.

8:07- One of the smartest moves this film makes is using its own score. A lot of the middling sequels just lift from the original without any care, but H20 puts in some effort into building up some actual atmosphere.

8:13- I like that Laurie is a mess but still holding it together. She’s jumpy and always watching, with a bottle of alcohol a little too close beside her. It’s not exactly the most monumental depiction of lifelong trauma, but the film makes an effort. I love its effort. I love Jamie Lee Curtis as well.

8:26- This film brings back a theatricality to the presentations of Michael’s victims that I feel the movies sorely lack. If it doesn’t look like an art project why bother? I was going to say I wish there was more development of the relationship with Michael and his nephew, but I don’t. I want more Laurie. Love Laurie.

8:28- Michael’s not good with keys. I love the fact that his hands and eyes are so clear, though. It brings back that kind of essential physicality he had in the original. Him making contact with Laurie, the shot of the two of them through the glass looking at each other is so fucking good.

8:34- Laurie standing in the drive with a fucking axe screaming Michael’s name as the Halloween them kicks in fucking rules so goddamn hard. The final fight scene between these two is an all-time great.

8:39- Laurie pulling a gun on a cop so she can kidnap the coroner’s van so she can make sure Michael is actually dead is fucking incredible. She’s the best person who’s ever been written. The final conclusion of the film, with Michael reaching out to her when he’s pinned down, and it’s unclear if he’s asking for help or trying to reach out to hurt her one last time but his eyes are filled with desperation is one of the best moments in any of the films, and the power of Laurie just delivering the killing blow makes it even better. The fact they both get to be so vulnerable and so human and have a moment, just a moment, where their hands touch for any reason other than violence is so fucking strong. I love this fucking movie.

8:45- Halloween: Resurrection. Because after just seeing Laurie fight for her life and get out alive, triumphing over Michael once and for all, obviously what we want is to have the whole thing turn out to be bullshit and a fake out and for Laurie to die in the first five minutes of this film? Fuck this movie man. Like fuck this movie.

8:59- as bad and stupid and shallow as this movie is, the slight manipulation Michael performs is pretty great, and Laurie’s line “Are you afraid of me?” is an all-time great. This film doesn’t earn Laurie’s death, though, and it doesn’t deserve Jamie Lee Curtis. I’m not even totally against the idea of finding out what Michael would do if all his family was dead, but this movie’s option of ‘be in a reality show being filmed in his house’ is probably the answer I never, ever, ever wanted.

9:03- I have given up.

9:25- People make a big deal out of the ending scene where Busta Rhymes electrocutes Michael Myers in the nuts but it is really the only moment of levity in what is otherwise the most boring experience anyone can have.

10:00- I am eating leftover candy and contemplating my life.

10:17- I boot up Halloween (2007). I have accepted death.

10:19- Yeah, what Halloween was really lacking was a guy yelling “I should crawl over there and skullfuck the shit outta you!” before hitting on his teenage stepdaughter. The level of overt grossness and extremity that Robert Zombert brings to this franchise is so fucking putrid and unnecessary. All he brings to this franchise is insane amounts of unbridled misogyny and pop psychology. I said the same thing last year and I’ll happily say it again; this movie’s idea of what makes a serial killer is like something from a daytime TV movie. I’m sure it was intended to be edgy, but the demonization of the working class and sex workers and the position of Michael as the lower-class outsider to the nice suburbs is the most conformist class politics in existence. Halloween (1978)’s depiction of a serial killer who was a part of and came from inside the nice, safe, upper middle-class suburb will always be a far, far more revolutionary statement than this.

10:44- I don’t believe this really gives Michael ‘more backstory’ since it basically just re-treads what the first movie did, but it sure does it worse. The film just takes an incredible amount of time to say ultimately nothing at all. What really gets me is that this does really destroy the Michael is the big bad boogeyman myth simply because the childhood it gives Michael doesn’t fit with who he is. The change just feels forced. The suddenness of his violence feels forced. There doesn’t seem to be any observation here other than it would be scary if a nice kid was actually murderer.

10:56- Why does Michael’s mother own a huge projector. The melodrama of her killing herself is so absurd.

11:03- Michael Myers gets called the F-slur so many times in this movie that I’m officially adopting him as part of the LGBT community.

11:12- people criticise the original for not having the most natural of dialogue for its teenage girl characters, but the teenagers in this film are so incredibly obnoxious that it’s borderline unbearable to watch. Their dialogue is unnatural too, because it’s the kind of shit a weird old man really, desperately wants teenage girls to say.

11:23- There isn’t a scene in this that doesn’t drag on for too long in a completely unfunny, charmless way. It’s also insanely aggravating how Zombie is incapable of holding the camera still for longer than a couple of seconds at a time, and why everyone in the movie always has to be twenty feet away at all times.

11:25- This movie is just the first movie but longer with people screaming fuck constantly and added rape scenes. It is so insanely fucking worthless it really defies description.

11:28- I could be hanging out with my friends but I’m watching a bad movie. Contemplating life again.

11:45- I wish Robert Zombert wasn’t so horny.

11:51- I like truly never want to hear screaming again. There’s so much noise in this movie all the time. There isn’t a fucking second of silence in this film that couldn’t be filled with someone screaming hysterically or shit breaking. There isn’t a moment where the camera holds still and lets us take in the information in the frame without wobbling deliriously or swinging around like it’s on a fucking office chair.

12:10- I wonder if I can go see Doctor Sleep tomorrow. It’s technically not Halloween anymore, but if I manage to watch all these films within twenty-four hours I think it still counts.

12:13- We’re on Halloween II (2009). I like that this movie opens up with an explanation of what the symbolism of the white horse represents, in case you’re too stupid to figure it out for yourself. I like that the flashback is also completely drained of colour, in case you’re too stupid to figure out that it’s a flashback, even after it had a title card explaining it was. Just in case you thought Michael turned into a kid again, or something.

12:17- Glad we’re back to the constant screaming and camera swirling, just in case you thought for a brief second you’d have a moment of fucking peace.

12:21- I joked about the absurdity of Ben Traimor in Halloween II (1982) getting hit by a van and then exploding but it really doesn’t match up to the pointless fucking spectacle of violence that occurs roughly every ten seconds in Halloween II (2009). There’s no reason whatsoever to have the coroner’s van full of rapists crash into a cow and have the most incredibly bloody crash scene ever while one of them screams fuck over and over, but it happens. It isn’t scary, funny, or interesting, but it sure happens. That just about sums up this movie. Loud, bloody, and gratuitous, but not, y’know, interesting.

12:39- What an exploitative ‘I think crazy chicks are hot’ vision of trauma this is.

12:48- The idea of Loomis cashing in on his fame and becoming a celebrity psychologist is a good idea, but in classic Rob Zombie way, it’s done in the least interesting way possible.

1:04- What the fuck is happening.

1:13- it is like fucking incredible how boring this movie is. None of these scenes have any purpose. It’s just stuff, it’s stuff to put on film, with no larger thesis or point. I don’t fully understand why anyone bothered making this movie.

1:29- Great, a party sequence. That’s what this film really needed. More pointless noise and scenes that go nowhere. It was way too quiet and plot-heavy until now.

1:31- Does Mr Zombie know he can just make music videos. Like wouldn’t it be easier.

1:55- The ending scene in this movie is so incredibly incoherent and unwatchable. The bringing of the strange psychic ghosts that haunt Michael and Laurie and making them real, physical presences only makes the film more incoherent. It’s all jerky, wild camera movements, strobe lighting and screaming from here on out. Michael is such a non-entity in this film. He’s in at least half the movie, but he’s not himself. He’s just like a big guy with a beard and one line.

1:59- The slo-mo is so unnecessary. Like you fucking had to make this movie even longer? For who? For what?

2:00- I wish we were all dead.

2:01- I think I’ve seen Blade Runner 2049, a movie I deeply love and cherish, less times than I’ve seen Rob Zombie’s Halloween II.

2:02- Feel depressed about this.

2:03- If I ever hear Love Hurts again, I’ll kill myself.

2:04- Spent two minutes in silent contemplation.

2:06- It’s finally time for Halloween (2018). It’s hard to understate how much respect I have for this movie. Like I said earlier, I admire H20 a lot for its attempt to be a reaction to Laurie’s trauma and grief, but it does not manage to pull this off with anywhere near as much grace and effectiveness as Halloween (2018). And on top of that, the film is stunningly shot, the only film on par with the original in terms of how beautiful and memorable the cinematography is.

2:10- The distance from which we see Michael initially is so great; there’s so much restraint. He’s unmasked for a good portion of the early movie, but the film holds back in a way that makes his face completely unreadable and instead focuses on people’s reactions to and fear of him. It gives a sense that he’s almost too frightening to be fully captured on film. We can never really understand the legend of Michael, the same way people who don’t see him ‘in the wild’ can’t; we can only see him through legends.

2:14- The soundtrack in this movie is a fucking incredible beast. John Carpenter is God, frankly.

2:17- I adore Laurie’s portrayal in this movie. She’s so cold and defensive towards people who don’t believe or respect her, but there’s a painful, raw vulnerability to her as well. She’s traumatised person who has run the gamut of people refusing to understand or respect her trauma or the worldview she’s developed. There’s such a profound mixture of power and pain, a sense of immense dignity to her. She’s sick to death of the lack of respect and cruelty she’s faced. I just love how much emotion was put into her performance, how much the filmmakers really cared about making her a fully realised expression of trauma and the way people react.

2:24- Dave blowing up a pumpkin with a firecracker is the most accurately teenage thing that’s ever happened in these movies.

2:25- Laurie standing on the sidewalk outside the school in a mirror of how Michael did rules. The callbacks in this movie are always so underplayed that they feel like they take actual meaning, rather than just being a case of demanding fans look at something cool they recognise.

2:31- I am deliriously sleepy. Laurie’s breakdown at family dinner is so painful. She carries so much grief; she is, in her eyes, the only one who does and who may ever know the truth, surrounded by people who can’t understand her because trying to put themselves in her world hurts them too much. I think Laurie’s daughter’s description of what it was like growing up in a survivalist environment filled with anxiety and paranoia is so key; it was traumatising for her to grow up in a trauma-based environment. I hope she gets more time in the next movie.

2:43- This is the third movie in the franchise where Michael kills people in a public toilet, but definitely the best time it’s been done. Michael throwing teeth at the journalist writing about him is something that is so insane that it’s now burned itself directly into my brain and I am incapable of not tweeting ‘i wish michael myers would throw teeth on me’ at least once every three weeks.

2:46- The gravity that’s given to Michael putting the mask on is mesmerising. Again, I love the physicality of his hands and motions; this movie doesn’t forget he’s a real, physical person.

2:52- I’m obsessed with Michael’s decision not to kill the baby. He’s on a random murder spree, killing anyone who he sees without any particular cause, but he passes right by the baby. Looks at it, and then chooses not to. He made an actual choice not to. I always wonder what was going through his mind at the time.

2:59- Alyson’s costume was a really great way to have her end up with the same silhouette as Laurie in the first movie without having her just straight up dress like her grandma. Nice touches.

3:01- “You are so getting dry-fucked tonight” is probably one of the most wretched lines of dialogue in this franchise.

3:09- Laurie hunting for Michael is so good. She’s so fucking ruthless in this movie; she’s afraid but she’s fucking tuned in completely to her revenge hunger.

3:13- Sartain is a character I really love. The set-up is obviously that he’s Loomis 2, Laurie even refers to him as “the new Loomis”, and he reflects and subverts this in interesting ways. I like that he calls Michael “property of the state”; it’s his own way of dehumanising Michael. To him, Michael is an asset, something to be poked and prodded and studied. But of course, unlike Loomis, his obsessive interest in Michael is far more appreciative.

3:16- This film’s ability to just use silence is so good.

3:17- The first time Alyson sees Michael is incredible. The musical sting. Fuck me. God, I love this movie. And God I love this fucking soundtrack.

3:22- The twist of Sartain turning and killing the cop, protecting Michael and trying to seek out what it feels like to kill is great. Also, the way he stroked Michael’s face? I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t think they were fucking? Grow up.

3:30- I love the drama of Michael’s corpse arrangements. Back to the good old art student days, I see. He’s having a midlife crisis. Every time Laurie and Michael see each other is so fucking powerful. The connection between the two of them is so vibrant. And her shooting half his hand off? Iconic. Really excited to see how the makeup department carries that on next film.

3:39- The final showdown sequence is incredible. Laurie and Michael nearly being on equal terms sounds like it should make it boring, if she can match him hit for hit, but the film never drops a level in tension. It manages to be surprising not just for us but also for Michael, who obviously wasn’t expecting to be on the back foot with Laurie, which only makes the scene more intense.

3:42- WHY IS HE SO STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:43- The performance of Karen screaming she needs help and she can’t do it only to shoot Michael point blank and then have Laurie emerge out of the shadows the way she does is one of the best fucking moments in cinema. The three women working together to defeat Michael and kill him where he stands, absolutely kicking the shit out of him and then setting him alight is fucking incredible. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a triumphant fucking ending in anything. The Strode women’s win feels like such an incredible fucking win. I have no fucking idea how Halloween Kills is going to follow this up.

3:46- I love this movie. The house burning down with Michael inside it is so striking. The way fire is shot is so powerful, and the ending shot of the Strodes? With Alyson holding the knife? A perfect movie.

3:47- I have died.

#rantsfilmwatch #my writing #halloween

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loftyexecutor · 6 years

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besotted

pairing; addels [ISDE] rating; k category; fluff wc; 1610 notes; ive been working on this for a while and im excited to have it finally done!!!! features @dezimaton‘s aaaaaaamazing art, i cried seeing it!!!! enjoy this soft date setting!!

ao3 mirror

Who would’ve thought cover-all-body-parts, shy and stay-at-home-even-at-all-times Esper would willingly go outside in sweltering heat, clad in a dress that left his shoulders and arms completely bare. Not that Infi is complaining, mind you, quite the opposite, actually.

Though it feels a little switched to have Esper lead him around the Velder square this time, hand gripping Infi’s in an almost possessive hold as he shows Infi shop after shop, always stopping in front of the windows to peer inside.

It’s no surprise that whenever Esper spots anything cat-themed, he has to go in and get it. It’s not like he can’t afford it. Not even an hour into their outing and Esper has a bag chock-full; he couldn’t pass up the cute cat-face hairbands when his hair had been getting long enough to put in a tiny ponytail; neither could he say no to the hand-painted shirts; and Infi couldn’t not buy him that big-ass cat plushie that doubled as a pillow, not when Esper’s eyes quite literally lit up when he saw it.

A few thousand ED to see Esper glowing, the widest smile adorning his face? That’s a deal Infi would agree to even at three in the morning, sleep-deprived and on the verge of passing out.

He’s still stuck in his little reverie when Esper grasps his hand, fingers squeezing as he drags Infi through the cobblestoned square. “I’ve never shown you my favorite cafe,” Esper says, a little giddy and a little breathless, and Infi doesn’t have it in him to remind Esper that out of the two of them, only one likes anything related to coffee, and his name sure as hell doesn’t start with an ‘E’. He’s losing a battle with a smile occupying his face, anyway.

He cafe turns out to be tucked away in one of the many alleys branching from the main square, and it’d be easy missable, if not for the — admittedly — cute banner protruding from the wall, a cheery yellow against the wooden structure.

There’s a bell that chimes overhead as they enter and as soon as the door closes after them, they’re engulfed in the tranquil atmosphere of the place. Dark wooden tables are set up with floral tablecloths, far enough apart that the three people scattered in the corners wouldn’t even eavesdrop on them. Probably.

Infi can see why it’s Esper’s favorite; with the light walls and pastel curtains letting in the natural sunlight, it seems to be the perfect place to sit down and think for a while.

Esper chooses a table for them while Infi is busy admiring the colorful decor. He chooses the one directly by the large window, overlooking the other side of the street.

“Do you sit here?” Infi asks, reclining on the chair, “When you come here by yourself, I mean.”

Esper nods, peering out the window. “I like this spot, it’s pretty.”

Infi bites back a remark — ‘not as pretty as you, hah!’ — and follows Esper’s line of sight to the outside. For some reason he’s not surprised to see a garden; a field of grass beneath a tall tree, no road in sight. The breeze is toying with the leaves, casting moving shadows and glittering spots of light onto the luck greenery. Daffodils sprout in the endless grass, thousands and thousands yellow spots scattered all over. They look soft and almost beckon to be laid in while swaying to and fro to the whims of the wind.

Infi doesn’t usually pay attention to such things — and how could he, when it usually doesn’t matter what’s around them as long as it’s not toxic or actively trying to eat them whole.

“Hey,” he says, tearing his eyes away from the spring display to find Esper’s gaze trained on him and him alone. Infi swallows, choking up a little as he looks at Esper, really looks at him for a second, frozen in the swaying sunlight that makes his eyes positively shine. He doesn’t look like a fierce warrior capable of tearing time and space itself at that moment; he looks like everything bright in Infi’s life at that one single point, pink cheeks and sharp teeth and all.

He feels compelled to lean over and kiss those plush lips, so he does, catching Esper off guard, if the little squeak he gasps out is anything to go by. Esper’s face colors an adorable shade of pink and Infi grins like a madman when he pulls away.

“Thanks you for showing me this place,” he says, leaning on his forearms. His face is set in a really sappy expression, probably. Esper squirms in his seat, averting his face; Infi can see the whites of his eyes turning dark. It’s so endearing to see Esper losing his composure over something so small.

The time traveler is saved further embarrassment when the server comes over to their table, fidgeting with her hands as she side eyes Infi, obviously favoring Esper’s side of the table.

“Hello, what can I get you?” she asks, tapping the tip of her pen against a notepad. She’s wearing a dark parron over a pastel green dress, a combination that both fits into and stands out in the cafe at the same time.

“Uh, I don’t know, I don’t really like uh—” Infi starts, but Esper pipes up to shut him up, chuckling.

“I’ll order for you,” he offers, and who is Infi to argue when the menu has five entire pages of coffee specialty bullshit he doesn’t understand a word of. Esper motions the server to lean down and she does so he can whisper something to her and she nods, scribbling onto her notepad so she doesn’t forget the order. Esper flashes her a jagged grin that makes her recoil, but she goes to the back room to get their… whatever Esper ordered them.

“She seemed nervous,” Infi remarks, staring at the door that she disappeared behind.

“You’re well-known, dont’ you know?”

“But why would she be so nervous? Of me?”

“Rumors fly between people. I bet people heard you took in the dark El, and those who don’t know you don’t know you’re… yeah,” Esper trails off.

“I’m?...”

“Y’know… nice and sweet,” Esper mumbles, looking anywhere but at Infi.

Infi grins. “Aw, you just called me sweet!” her taunts, without any malice.

Esper’s face turns about ten shades more red. It’s really endearing, if Infi does say so himself.

“Shut up,” the time traveler grumbles. He’s positively pouting.

Infi can't get enough of his cute face, especially not now, but alas, his attention is pulled by the server that returns with a tray, carefully setting their order in front of them.

Infi gawks at the cute slice of cake she places before him, alongside a small tea kettle and a porcelain cup. The cake is pink, with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles on top, and what appears to be vanilla cream in the middle. Esper had ordered himself a big black coffee, though Infi knows so little about coffee that it must have a four-word title that would give him a headache to even try and pronounce.

There’s also a cone of pistachio ice cream — that he can name, thank you very much! — complete with a small metallic holder to keep it up.

“Thanks,” he mumbles to the server and at least this time she doesn’t recoil from him.

Esper takes a sip of the coffee, ignoring that its still piping hot. Infi watches him do it with a mi of bewilderment and aversion, pouring himself the tea to cool down like a normal person. It smells amazing, but the only thing he can discern among it is apples.

“What’d you even order us?” he asks, lifting a fork to the cake to try it, “What is it?”

“She calls it a ‘piece of heaven’,” Esper laughs, “but I think it’s just a strawberry cake.”

Esper takes his cone from its little holder and licks a stripe of the green thing, licking his lips at the taste. Infi is dazzled by the bit at the corner of his mouth that he doesn’t get, eyes glued to the smile on those eact lips.

“Want some?” Esper asks, holding the cone out for him.

“Sure!” Infi says, excitement creeping into his voice. Instead of going for the cone, however he leans over and licks the spot off Esper’s lip with no hesitation.

Esper squeaks again, almost dropping the ice cream. His face is on fire when Infi pulls back, flashing a toothy grin. “Tastes great!” he exclaims, “But that might’ve just been you, so…”

Esper punches him in the upper arm with his free hand, hardly enough to hurt. “You’re an idiot.”

“Aww, but you liked it! Don’t even deny it, your cheeks look the same as my hair right now!”

Esper grumbles something under his breath, but he doesn’t actually deny it.

“I don’t mind cleaning you up when you get it on your face again,” Infi promises.

Esper steals the fork from his fingers with a swift move, grabbing a bit of the whipped cream from the cake. Before Infi can even realize it, he’s smearing it all over Infi’s lips and chin. There’s a shit-eating grin on his lips when sets the fork back down.

“Then I guess it’s only fair if I do the same, hm?”

Infi bursts into a laugh, taken aback by Esper’s quick wit once more. His heart kind of wants to get out of his chest and into Esper’s hands. But it’s already there, he supposes.

“Nothing’s fair in love and food!”

#elsword #addels #isde #.elsword #.fluff #.1k #.addels #.isde #i had so much fun writing this one hhhhhhhhhhhh

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