#also this is a side note but going back to the whole 'when i was growing up i was more feminine' angle

[loveluvrs]

heaven l lando norris x reader

request/summary – reader being clingy with lando in the mornings

author's notes – a little blurb while im doing finals. please keep sending me requests!!!

I groan as I reach around for Lando in bed, but feel nothing. I open my eyes, just barely, to see that his side of his bed has the blanket pushed to the side, an empty space where my boyfriend usually is. With a sigh, I sit up in bed, putting on my glasses. I drag my feet outside his room to find him humming in the kitchen. 

I sit on the kitchen counter next to where he’s working. His face lights up and he gives me a big smile. “Morning, baby,” he says in that raspy morning voice of his, “‘m making pancakes for us. That okay?”

“More than okay,” I say softly with a hum. I reach out my arms towards him to signal for a hug. He immediately paused what he was doing as he came over to stand between where my legs were swinging, his arms wrapping around my waist as he leans in for a hug. “Did you sleep well?” He asked softly since he knew about my all too frequent sleeping problems. 

I hummed in response. “Yeah, I did since you were there. I love you,” I say softly with a contented sigh. “I love you too,” he says softly as he gives me a squeeze in the hug before letting go, placing a kiss on my forehead. I pout as he goes back to making the batter for the pancakes. “Lan,” I say with a whine, “come back, I want more time with you.”

He laughs. “Love, would you rather get your hug a few minutes later or would you rather us starve because I was too busy giving you a hug?” He asks playfully. “Starve,” I say with a deadpan expression. He scoffs and playfully rolls his eyes at my answer as he says “you’re so annoying.” I giggle. “Yeah but you love me for it,” I tease, “now let’s go, you owe me my morning cuddles. I’ll help you finish the pancakes later.”

He reluctantly caves in, only because I had a pout on my face that he absolutely could never refuse. He tucks himself into bed, his arms open to wrap around me. I scoot in close to him, my head in his chest as he places a kiss on the top of my head. His hand runs through my hair as we settle into a comfortable silence. 

“You’re so beautiful, seriously,” he says in a quiet whisper, in awe of the sigh in front of him. He could see his beautiful girlfriend, all messy and tired and sleepy, wearing one of his hoodies, with the light streaming in from outside perfectly catching onto her hazel eyes and lighting up her whole face. “I don’t think I could ever get tired of this, even heaven might be a letdown compared to this,” he says lovingly as he pulls me up into a kiss. “You’re a sweetheart, and also too far head over heels for me,” I tease softly. He hums with a bright smile. “Only for you, baby,” he says with a loving look. A look that made my insides melt and made me want to stay in this moment for the rest of my life. I could miss out on everything else and it wouldn’t matter, not when I had the love of my life here with me. 

I giggle at his cheesy words and Lando felt like his heart might burst at the sound, his favorite sound, from his favorite person. He looked into the same beautiful eyes he’d been seeing for three years now, with the way he loved it when his girl’s eyes lit up and cirinkled every time she laughed and smiled. That smile of yours, god, he could see only that for the rest of his life and he wouldn’t ever complain. In fact, it was at this moment he realize he did want to see only that for the rest of his life, from the only girl he’d want to spend forever with. 

#lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris oneshot #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic

[mattyriddlesbitch]

matty + ravenclaw reader 🙏🏻

(a little bit of smut if you want

I love this because I'm a Ravenclaw and am in love with Matty, so I got you!

I think Mattheo is actually really smart, like could get straight As type, but doesn't apply himself, so he wasn't too thrilled when McGonagall told him he needed to get a tutor and she already assigned him one. Which was obviously you.

He'd seen you around, thought you were pretty, but he never really talked to you. He thought you'd be some type of annoying know-it-all.

So imagine his surprise when you had your first tutoring session and you were actually pretty chill. He didn't actually need to be tutored, he knew that, but you didn't and kept trying to get his focus back on the work while he was trying to distract you the whole time, either with jokes or asking questions about yourself. He loved when you got annoyed at him and tried to get him back on track.

That's how all study sessions went. About a few minutes of studying and then he was trying to get you off topic. He actually did want to get to know you. You were so pretty and smart and witty and pretty. That's what he thought. Even when he was quiet and not trying to distract you, he was staring at you, whether you were talking or not.

I will always stand by this, he is almost stalkerish when he likes a girl, trying to find out everything about her, befriending her friends. You're no different. He's trying to catch you out of classes, trying to catch you in the library, or even in the halls between classes.

Will 100% annoy you when you're trying to study in the library if he finds you there. He'll sit down with you and try to get your attention, taking your books or notes. Loves your glares.

After a few months of study sessions, he tells you he doesn't need them. You think he's lying, his grades haven't improved. He makes a bet that if he can get 100% on his next test, he gets to take you out. You roll your eyes but agree. Just imagine the smug face he makes when he comes up to you the following week with perfect marks on his test.

And he takes you on such a nice date. He may love annoying you and playing around with you, but he actually wanted to impress you, show you he can be a decent guy. He finds out from your friends what your perfect first date would be and tries to do that as best as he can. Coffee shop date? Perfect, he'll take you to the nicest one in Hogsmeade. Movie and dinner? If he can't take you to a theater, he'll set up a projector in his dorm and bribe the house elves to either make you guys food or let him make it in the kitchen.

He loves reading, but isn't an obvious and reads everywhere type of person, but he loves just relaxing together and reading, while occasionally annoying you until you threaten to leave. Will also read the books you read. Better hope he doesn't see any of your smutty books. Or maybe hope he does. He'll recreate some scenes with you.

Loves how smart you are, brags to his friends about it all the time. Will always go to you with questions. But will also tease you if you don't know something that he does.

Will start making your grades a competition too. Likes annoying you by scoring higher. It does help his grades in the end anyways, so you take it as a win. McGonagall wasn't expecting this outcome, but is pleased with the result.

I also think he would send McGonagall a 'thank you' letter/note for putting you two together but will never admit to it

He loves you so much. He loves the sweet side to you and the sassy, witty side as well. He loves that balance you give him and knowing how to read him to tell what side he needs.

Taglist:

@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath

Let me know if you wanna be added!

#slytherin boys #slytherin boys x reader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #slytherin boys headcanons

[mylittlevsoldier]

Mike's "Will Voice". - An Essay by me.

If you’re a byler you know about the “Will Voice '' . But if you somehow don’t or you’re new, the “Will Voice" is the voice that Mike uses when he is talking to Will and ONLY Will. Normally Mike is a little abrasive and defensive to most people when he is talking to them. But when talking to Will, his voice is soft and quiet, just above a whisper, gentle. 

Before we get into it, I think you should just know that the “Will voice” isn’t just something Byler’s made up! The directors tell Finn (the actor that plays Mike) to use a “special voice” when talking to Noah (The actor that plays Will) when filming.

DISCLAIMER - i actually didnt think this was going to be this long so sorry in advance but here are my thought i hope you enjoy! i love you!

“It was a seven, the Demogorgon. It got me.” - Season 1

One of the VERY FIRST SCENES in the show is Mike using his “Mike voice” Even if he really doesn't have to say anything at all. After Karen tells everybody to leave and all of the boys are hopping on their bikes to go home, Will is the only one left behind with Mike. Will admits to Mike that in the campaign they're playing, the Demogorgon got to him and killed him. 

Something about this scene is just so…. The look of understanding, the nod. Mike is just more gentle with will than anyone else. 

Right before this he was just arguing will Dustin about weather his sister is cool or not but with Will it’s different. 

Unfortunately, since Will really isn’t in the whole rest of the season, because yknow he’s in a whole other dimension there aren't a lot of other scenes where Mike is using his “Will voice” However, Mike was the person who wanted to find will the most behind maybe Joyce. Saying that he “was the only one who cared about Will”, so that is something. 

“Crazy together.” - Season 2 

In my opinion, season 2 is like beak soft byler. The first season 2 byler moment was..

The Arcade Scene

As soon as Mike snaps Will out of his trance, his vision, whatever you want to call it, he goes right back to Will's comforting voice and tries to make it feel better and distracts him with a dig dug. 

In the next episode, it Halloween. And we ALL know what happened on Halloween night of 1987.

Will’s episode on halloween 

When Will has a bad vision, who is the first name he calls? Mike. Not Lucas, Not Dustin, not even Max. Mike. Not anyone else but Mike. And who was the first one to find Will and the first one to comfort him? Micheal Fucking Wheeler. And he was using the same soft voice he always does when talking to Will, barley over a whisper. Not to mention that Mike wouldn't let anyone touch Will but himself after Will snapped out of his episode. 

Talk in Mike’s Basement Scene

After Will had this awful episode, Mike takes Will and only Will back to his house. Will rambles and rants about how he feels stuck and Mike? He is attentive, sweet, listening, letting him get all of his words out. I’ve noticed with other people Mike can come off like he’s abrasive and harsh but with Will he is nothing close to that. 

In this conversation also consists of Mike helping Will express his feeling by finishes his sentences for him when he just can’t get his words out. In the few times Mike does speak, he does not break out of the gentle voice and literally never breaks his gaze from Will, not once. 

EVEN WHEN MIKE TALKS ABOUT EL HE TALKS IN HIS WILL VOICE. AND THE ONLY REASON MIKE BROUGHT UP EL WAS FOR WILL’S BENEFIT. 

And then the most iconic Byler line in Stranger Things history, “If we’re both going crazy, we’ll go crazy together, right?” “Yeah, crazy together.” So gentle, so sweet, so wholesome.

The hallway scene 

Mike immediately notices something off with Will and has to make sure everything is okay. 

Side note: even when Will isn't with Mike and the party, Mike will literally do anything he can to help Will. That’s his only priority at the moment. 

Will’s bedroom scene

Even when Will is talking about “Him” Mike still reminds him that Will is a good person, calling him a “super spy” Mike is doing absolutely anything he can to comfort Will and make him feel any better. (P.s. this moment is so wholesome I love it.)

And then the “yeah, yeah I really do” The PRIME example of “Will Voice” The gentleness, the voice, the look, the nod, the reassurance, AND THEN THE REACH FOR THE HAND. 

Hospital Scene (Will wakes up)

Will wakes up and Mike is obviously right there (‘cause he slept in the chair next to the bed, WHICH IS LIKE MY FAVORITE BYLER MOMENT OF ALL TIME) and asks if Will is “hurting again”, Mike keeps his eyes steady on Will. His only focus is Will right now. He keeps his voice soft and he asks will things to make sure he understands and that he is hearing what Will is going through right now. 

Mike recalling how they met 

Even though the poor boys voice is shaky because he is literally trying (and failing) to hold back tears, it’s still soft and reassuring. 

“It’s not my fault you don't like girls!” -Season 3 

The movie theater scene

This scene is one of my favs from Season 3. Mike is the first and only person to realize something is off with Will and say something to make sure he’s okay. The "you okay?” and “you sure?” are so gentle and soft. It reminds me a lot of someone jumping at a scary part in a movie and their partner wrapping their arm around them and asking if they’re okay. 

NOT TO MENTION THE NOT SO SUBTLE LIP GLANCES. 

(Also the little gay panic Will has after Mike ask if he’s okay and the blush on Mike’s cheeks before) 

The scene right before the fight scene

Mike immediately notices Will is upset after Mike makes his “joke” and he goes back to his voice that always gets Will and tries to convince him that they (him and Lucas) do really want to finish the campaign. 

The fight scene

Mike IMMEADLEY goes back to his will voice after he drops the bomb shell because he know he fucked up and he did it BIG TIME. The big difference between Mike’s “Will Voice” in Season 2 and Season 3 is that in Season 2 he was really using that voice with Will because he knew that it was comforting to him but now in season 3 he uses it because he knows Will will fall for it. 

(Also you know how Max says to El that Mike will come crawling back to El in no time? The only person he came crawling back to apologizing was Will.) 

“Get away from the door” Scene 

@myname1sca1 brought up a great point! The scene where Max is trying talk to Billy through the door, Will has a feeling that “He’s here” and Mike turns and say to Max to get away from the door a=in a gentle, quiet, soft voice and when she doesn't listen, he turns away from will at screaming at her do get away from the door. He was only using that voice because he was looking at Will and dropped that voice as soon as he looked away. 

The “Not possible” Scene

Toward the end of season 3, Mike realizes that he was being (in his own words) an asshole the whole season and starts caring about Will again. And when Will comes out and puts his box of D&D on the donate box, the thing he has loved since forever, Mike makes sure that he knows he is giving it away. 

Will knows he’ll just use Mike’s when he visits the won’t join another party. That’s not possible.  

(Plus the look on Mikes face after Will says “not possible” is adorable.)

"I didn't say it." "You didn't have to."

Will's bedrooms scene

OMFG THIS SCENE

Immediately Mike is relaxed. His voice low and calm and he lightheaded. The "You didn't have to" AND THE SMILE. This is a COMPLETE contrast to has he is around El in this part of the season. When with her, he is all tease and feel like he can never say the right thing.

Also, the absolute adoration for Will in his voice. When he says "It's Hawkins, it's not the same without you."

You can also really tell that Mike is really confiding in Will and letting his guard down which he never really does with anyone. Including El. Especially with the whole line "I don't know what's going to happen next." And if you know Mike Wheeler he never tells ANYONE that he is wrong or that he doesn't know what's going on. So, the fact that he feels comfortable enough with Will is something.

"But you make her feel better for being different." Season 4, Vol 2

"We have to Kill him." "And we will." Scene

The MOMENT Mike finds out that Will can feel that 001 is there, he jumps back into being his reassuring, gentle self for Will. This scene reminds me a lot of the "Yeah, Yeah i really do scene for season 2.

OMG WE ARE DONE, if you made it through all of that, I love you so much. If you want to see more things like this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know because i love writing essays about Byler analysis!

also let me know if there's anything I missed because if i miss enough things i will gather it and but it in an update!

RESOUCES

Stanger Things I The First 8 Minutes - Series Opener [HD] (Still Watching Netflix on YouTube)

Stranger Thing 02x02 - Mike and Will 'Crazy Together' Scene (Raghaua Daroui on Youtube)

Byler compilation (Season 2-3) (GoraculGerard on Youtube)

every byler scene 1080p I Stranger Things Season 4 Vol 1 (longbttms on Youtube)

byler 1080p scene pack I Stranger Things Vol 2 (longbttms on YouTube)

@myname1sca1 's post!

people who wanted to be tagged!

@lebylershipper

@ash-the-wise

@tender-emotional-music

@wallywise

@willbyerswatch

@hearteyes-wheeler

@paloma-ascends-into-hellfire

@hollarious2

#byler #mike wheeler #stanger things #will byers #byler endgame #byler is real #stangerthings #stranger things 4 #stranger things 3 #stranger things 2 #stanger things 1 #bylerrrrr #byler writing #bler essay #essay about byler #making everything about byler #byler analysis #byler angst #writing #sagey writes

[shockercoco]

Unwanted Help

Feyd Rautha x sister!reader

Warnings - nothing just fluff

Word count - 2587

a/n - it's my birthday, so i thought I might as well get this out of the drafts and give you guys a gift too :) also let's just pretend Feyd never killed his mother and his upbringing wasn't so terrible lol. Thank you guys for all the love and enjoy :)

“So, how do I look?” you ask as you step out of your walk-in closet. 

Your mother and your brother Feyd had been waiting in your bedroom to see your dress for the debutante ball; Feyd was looking out the window with his hands clasped behind his back, while your mother made herself comfortable at the edge of your bed.

You do a little spin as you walk out of your closet, for the theatrics of course, before turning to face your family. A smile instantly appeared on your mothers face as she clapped her hands, while Feyd turned his attention away from the window to give you a questionable look. It was obvious he wasn’t a fan of the dress.

“It’s gorgeous, my love,” your mother beams as she walks over to gather your hands in hers.

“I’ve seen better looks on the commoners wandering the streets,” Feyd declares as his eyebrows furrow, looking at the fabric like it was one of the ugliest things he’s ever seen. Your face drops and your mouth falls ajar at Feyd’s statement.

“Feyd-Rautha!” your mother exclaims, scowling at your brother.

“I’m sorry, I thought she was asking for our opinions,” he dully states with a shrug.

“An opinion doesn’t mean tearing her down,” your mother retorts. “Besides, there are only a handful of people that could afford the seamstress that designed your sister's dress.”

You pull your hands out from your mother’s grasp and walk over to the mirror on the wall to see your appearance for yourself. She follows and stands behind you as you look at your reflection, while Feyd keeps his place by the window. The gown was everything you could imagine and more – and it should be, given the fact that you gave the seamstress explicit directions in order to bring your visions to life. You turn to the side and assess the back of you before turning back and running a hand down your dress.

“It’s perfect,” you say, mainly to yourself, then turn to frown at your brother, “You’re an imbecile, Feyd.” 

He just rolls his eyes in response.

Deep down, Feyd did appreciate the way you looked, but all he could think of was the amount of men that were going to be looking at you later tonight. His skin crawled at the thought. He made a mental note to make sure to keep a blade under his robe.

You also knew that Feyd wasn’t completely disgusted with the way you look – even though it would take a lot for him to say that out loud – so his opinion didn’t affect you too much. Feyd was a huge softie when it came to you, but also extremely protective.

“That seamstress could’ve made you something that wasn’t so…revealing. There’s no doubt people will be looking,” Feyd says.

He was referring to the way the dress accentuated your breasts, and how the corset helped give your body an hourglass figure.

“That’s kind of the point. The whole point of a debutante ball is to help a woman find a suitor, you know, and of course to show off to everyone else,” your mother smirks at the end.

Feyd’s eye twitched at the idea of you marrying some pathetic man.

“Does father know?” Feyd asks.

“Of course he does, and he’s fine with it because he understands,” your mother tells him. Feyd frowned at her response. “Now, enough of this. Let’s leave her be until it’s time to go.”

Your mother started to walk to the door of your bedroom, and when she noticed Feyd hadn’t moved, she whirls around to give him a look. Feyd rolls his eyes, but then moves to follow her out of your room.

Later that day when you and your family were walking into the building, you felt excited and nervous. Most of the public outings you experienced had to do with Feyd’s games or business meetings off planet, so you rarely enjoyed more casual outings. 

It didn’t take long for you to start socializing with some of the other girls that you did know – they were princesses of lords or barons your father had done business with in the past. They were kind and easy to converse with, but you found yourself having to listen to them putting your brother on a pedestal; they talked about how strong and undefeated he was, or they talked about how attractive they found him and who they thought could get with him first. They didn’t seem to care about the fact that his sister was standing there talking with them as well, or maybe they did and was hoping you would mention one of them to Feyd. You wouldn’t.

There was of course that one group of girls that formed a clique to gossip about everyone in attendance, like how much each family was worth and which one had the higher place in society, but they also made sure to discuss who was dressed the best and who had the best chance of finding a suitor. You saw a couple of them whispering and pointing at you, but you just rolled your eyes because you knew each one of their backstories, such as the fact that a few of them belonged to families that were going bankrupt. There was no doubt they were projecting their own insecurities.

It also didn’t take long for men to approach you to strike up conversation, or to ask you to join them in the middle for a dance. Those who said they would be back later to get to know you more never did. You just figured that those men weren’t really interested in you.

Little did you know, Feyd was watching you the whole time, but he mostly cared for the men who had the audacity to approach you. He was standing in a group of well known men, your guys’ father amongst them, discussing politics and whatever else they felt was important. Feyd, of course, had to chip in every now and again, but that didn’t stop him from keeping you in his sight and leaving the conversation when needed.

“May I have this dance,” a gentleman known as Prince Killian approached you, his hand extended out for you to take.

Apparently, he was next in line to inherit his father’s title as lord –  a man who had recently gotten sick with an incurable illness.

“You may,” you smile as you hold out your hand for him to take. Why not, right? He was a kind and humble man, according to what you heard from word of mouth, but was too gentle and soft to take his father’s place. He was also awfully easy on the eyes.

Prince Killian led you to the center of the packed ballroom and guided you through the music. He made sure to ask about your interests and your hobbies, what occupied your time during your days. He even made sure to compliment your dress. His eyes remained on yours and he kept a gentle smile on his face the whole time. You enjoyed your time with him, and the feeling seemed to be reciprocated on his end.

When you had to excuse yourself because your mother wanted to pull you aside, you didn’t notice Feyd swiftly and smoothly making his way over to Prince Killian. Feyd had been waiting for this moment since he saw the two of you getting very close during your dance. He saw the way Prince Killian looked at you, and there was no doubt in Feyd’s mind that he was interested in you.

Feyd didn’t approve, Prince Killian was too soft as a man after all. Did you really want to be tied down to someone with that kind of a reputation? Would he be able to protect you? Feyd felt disgusted just looking at him. He had to stop this relationship from blossoming even further.

“What is your business with my sister?” Feyd asked the prince. He had snuck up on him from behind, so Killian had gotten startled. He faced Feyd and tried his best to keep his cool as Feyd stood there expressionless with his hands clasped behind his back. Feyd intimated him, he intimated everyone.

“Nothing of ill intent, I promise you, na-baron,”Prince Killian says to him and holds his hands behind his back, mimicking Feyd and trying to seem unaffected.

“Is that so?” asks Feyd while giving him a once-over. “So you’ve taken a liking to her then?”

“Yes, I have,” Prince Killian nods.

“And you would like to pursue her?”

“With your permission, of course,” Prince Killian offers a smile.

“How unfortunate because you don’t have it,” Feyd gives him an insincere smile.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t question me. I’ll-,” Feyd stops when he sees you enter the room, scanning the crowd for the prince in front of him. “I don’t want to see you around her again, for the rest of the night and for the rest of your life, however long that may be,” Feyd tells him before walking away, not giving Prince Killian a chance to say anything else.

Prince Killian gulps as he watches Feyd leave. He decides it would be the wisest to listen to your brother and leave you alone. Princes Killian goes up to his mother to tell him he doesn’t feel well and that he wants to leave. His mother is upset, but agrees to leave. 

You don’t see him leave the room as you continue to look around, but Feyd does. He stops a smirk from forming on his face as he joins his father in another conversation. 

Your heart drops once you don’t find Prince Killian anywhere. After all, he did promise to find you after your mother was done with you. Did you really read him wrong? Did he not like you just like the other men you had met throughout the night? Was there something wrong with you?

Tears form in your eyes as you begin to doubt yourself, but you quickly hold them back, not wanting to be seen crying in public. You go to find your mother once again to tell her that you were ready to leave. The whole evening had basically been a complete waste of your time. Your mother notices the difference in your mood, but doesn’t question as goes to ask the car to be brought around and gather Feyd and your father.

You spent that night locked in your room crying, feeling defeated. Your mother came to talk to you, but you didn’t open the door, feeling too embarrassed to explain. It was your fault for getting your hopes up in the first place, wasn’t it? A couple of your favorite lady’s maids also came by to check on you and asked from the other side of the door if there was anything you could do, but at the moment there wasn’t.

You stayed in that gloomy mood for the next couple of days before deciding it was time to get over it. You were a Harkonnen, after all.

About a week later, you were sitting in the library reading like you usually do at some point in the day. Today though, you were interrupted by your mother barging through the library doors with an unpleasant expression on her face, her gown flowing with her steps with your brother not too far behind. You thought you had done something wrong, causing you to replay the past few days in your mind, but you couldn’t find the problem.

That’s because you weren’t the problem.

“Mother, I don’t think this is necessary. There’s no need to get her upset all over again,” Feyd says. Is that panic in his voice?

Your mother holds up her hand to stop him from saying anything else.

Feyd had walked past your room several times, hearing your cries flood out of your room. He would stop outside of your door and wondered if he should knock and go talk to you, but each time he decided not to. He wasn’t a fan of hearing you in pain, but he figured there was no use in saying anything because the damage was done.

It got to the point where he felt guilty so he decided to confess to his mother what he had done, not thinking she would react this way. Though when the words fell out of his mouth, she was fuming; she had every right to be.

“Tell her what you just told me, or I will,” your mother glares at Feyd. 

You look between them in confusion, deciding it was best to put your book aside. Feyd’s jaw tensed as he stared his mother down, not really wanting to say it aloud again. He finally gives into her gaze and looks away.

“Feyd?” you question as you watch the wheels turn inside his head.

He shakes his head as if to shake the thought away, but of course it remains. Might as well just get it over with.

“The reason why Prince Killian didn’t return to you that night at the ball, or any of the men that had approached you, was because of me,” Feyd tells you. You can’t see it, but his fists are clenched behind his back.

“Tell her how you threatened them to never go near her again,” your mother tells him. Your eyes widen as you look over at your brother who seemed to be uncomfortable. 

Feyd lets out a frustrated sigh before looking you in the eye. “It’s true.”

You don’t know whether to be angry or relieved. “All this time I thought it was my fault, but it was you?” you ask, but it’s honestly more of a statement. Feyd nods in response.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” your mother asks him, and Feyd avoids her gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you, and he means it no matter how hard it was for him to say it. You can tell also, but that doesn’t make it all better.

“And?” your mother prods, her arms folded across her chest. 

“I will make it right, if you will let me, of course,” he says.

And he did. The next day Prince Killian had arrived at your home, by the request of your father, knowing he wouldn’t come if it was Feyd who had asked. You weren’t entirely thrilled because you weren’t sure if he would still feel the same towards you, if there were any feelings there in the first place. Your worry quickly turned into happiness as the two of you reconnected with Prince Killian telling you what you wanted to hear.

Your mother and father watched from afar as he bent down to kiss your hand before standing straight again, your hand still in his. Feyd was also there beside them, not entirely pleased with the sight in front of him, but as long as you were happy he would have to learn to deal with it. Of course if Prince Killian ever decided to hurt you or stop pursuing you, he would have to take matters into his own hands.

“This is the man, huh?” your father asks with a tilt of his head. 

It brought Feyd joy that his father was also unsure about the man standing in front of you.

“Would you both quit it and be happy for her,” your mother scowled at them both before fixing her face as you turned around to face your family.

#austin butler x reader #austin butler #austin butler imagine #feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha #dune fanfiction #dune part 2

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

04/28/24 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Nathan Foad; Damien Gerard; Watch Parties; Fan Spotlight; Cast Cards; OFMD Colouring Pages; Community Q's Love Notes; Daily Darby / Today's Taika;

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

= David Jenkins =

I think this picture speaks for itself.

Img Src: @simonenathan Twitter

= Nathan Foad =

More Love's Labour's Lost with Nathan! So good to see him having such a great time!

Img Src: Nathan's IG

= Damien Gerard =

Our crewmate @/rosiemegglemoth on twitter saw Damien this weekend and he got to meet little Edward! I've seen Edward travel all over the place and I'm loving that he and Damien got to meet up <3 Thank you Rosy Meggie Moth for letting me share this with everyone!

@rosiemegglemoth's Twitter

== Watch Parties ==

= Palm Royale =

Palm Royale WP May 2 via @LCWebsXOXO with the lovely @/dominicburgess approx. 4pm EDT/9pm BST/1pm PST!

= Wrecked Season 1 =

Another week of Wrecked Season 1 is on the docket! Don't have access? Reach out to me on @gentlebeardsbarngrill on tumblr, or @aspirantabby42 on twitter.

Days: Apr 29 - May 3

Times: 3:30 pm PT / 6:30 pm ET / 11:30 pm BST

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Tonight's cast card is Pop Pop's Son! Thanks @melvisik for bringing him in too! I thought he looked familiar.

== OFMD Colouring Pages ==

Thank you @patchworkpiratebear for more colouring pages! This time featuring Calypso's Birthday!

== Community Q's ==

Starting something new today friends! I want to hear from you all!

What's your favorite interview featuring the OFMD cast?

It could be just Rhys or Taika and Rhys, or just David, or just Samson, or any number of cast members! It could even just be an interview of a cast member for another movie or show they did (doesn't have to be ofmd related except that an actor/actress also played in OFMD)! I just would love to hear what your favorite cast interviews are-- and if you have a link to it even better!

== Love Notes ==

Hey Lovelies. I'm sorry it's been so hard lately. Everyone I talk to seems to be struggling in one way or another right now, and I know it's been a lot. Remember to vent if you can-- even if a lots been happening for a while, you're not a burden if you need to vent again.

We all go through so much in our lives, and sometimes those hard times go for a lot longer than we'd like, we're allowed to be just as frustrated with them as we were the first as the 100th day we're dealing with them.

But you know what? You're so incredibly resilient lovelies. Seriously, look at you. Look at you getting through each day even when things are tough. If you had a great day, or you cried your eyes out, the fact that you're still here is so incredibly important.

YOU are so incredibly important. I know sometimes it feels like we are our struggles, but you are so very much more than them. Your struggles might be chronic, you may never be rid of them, or they may be temporary, so please, feel them, fight them, experience them, learn from them, but know that when you come out of them at the end of the day you are not those struggles.

They influence you, and they are a piece of you, but they are not the whole of you. You are a wonderful, kind, an beautiful individual that means so much to so many people, and you are so very complex and you have so many sides to you.

You are wonderful lovelies. Remember that. Good luck this week, I'm rooting for you so hard.

Img Src: @goldiealexx Instagram

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

I always come back to this being one of my favorite interviews so that's tonight's theme, fav interviews. Today's gif courtesy of @celluloidbroomcloset

#daily ofmd recap #daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #rhys darby #taika waititi #save ofmd #ofmd #our flag means death #damien gerard #nathan foad #david jenkins #chaos dad #watch parties

[iliveraee]

SYNOPSIS — Falling in love with Sae Itoshi brings out a lot of different emotions within you. Particularly misery, when, under the sparkling snow, he is leaving to grow up—to make all your dreams come true.

note: im so pissed off that i cant log into my other account but whatever guys hii i am bel !!! again!! this is intended to be an extension of my previous thingy on my first acc but this can be a standalone

You're not sure what you should do. You've been by Sae ever since you can remember—and now, only now, he was leaving. You haven't been alone for so long, and now you're going to be forced into it. You don't know what to feel.

You're pissed at Itoshi Sae—no matter how selfish it is of you—for leaving you like this. In love. Alone. Miserable. You're also pissed at yourself for being mad at him—because you know this is for the best, you know it's for his bright future as the star you always knew he was—but deep down, you wished he would stay, even if just for you.

Walking through this park with him by your side—the moon shines down and creates ripples in the sky's vast ocean, painting the world with a honey-like glow. It smooths over Sae's face like the moon itself is kissing him goodbye—like the world itself is miserable with his parting. You sure know you are.

Your hand is clutched tightly within his, and you don't ever want to let go of this warmth. Your stomach twists into knots, and you can't even savour this moment of affection because of how much you're dreading it. Him leaving for Spain—a place across the globe, so far you're not sure your phone will be able to handle a five-minute call without lighting on fire.

The silence might feel even worse than this sense of impending doom, actually. Neither of you said a word since school ended—a perk of knowing Sae Itoshi for so long, is that you can tell what he's thinking with just a glance.

People say that getting a read on Sae is hard. 

You don't think so.

You just have to look for the little things.

You've always looked at him.

"I'm leaving for Spain soon," Sae says, shattering the quiet and his voice buzzes in your ears like static. Will you ever hear this voice again? You pray you do. "For Re Al."

You already know this. Why is he telling you again? Does he find it amusing to see you blink back hot, wet tears and sniffle like a baby?

"You're going to just be with Rin now." He pulls up his red scarf with his free hand, breathing out lowly through his mouth and causing a puff of smoke to escape his lips. It's beyond freezing out here, and you can feel your lips shake. Though, you're not as sure that it's from the cold, as it is from holding back sobs.

You know that you'll have Rin. You've known Rin as long as you've known Sae—but it won't be the same. You won't have late-night talks, or walks around the school when he isn't practising—nor will you even see him at practice. The only reason you became a manager for his team was so you could spend more time with him, and watch how incredible he was.

Now, what is there for you?

You hadn't realised when your life had become so dependent on his presence—perhaps it was the moment you had fallen in love with him, or maybe even that day you first met, ten years ago.

Your life is so enveloped by Sae, that the mere thought of him not being here sends tears welling up in your eyes.

You're pathetic.

You're pathetically, and miserably in love with him.

You grip his warm palm harder, snow fluttering around you. It's cold. He's your sense of warmth. You don't want to let go. "Sae..."

You're positive he can feel your grip tighten, and there's an undeniable wobble in your voice. Sae is too intuitive to not have picked up on this—but still, he does not mention it with a word. He lets you grip him as tight as you wish, and lets you dig your nails into the back of his hand. "Rin's going to be alone, and I want you to take care of him. Our parents don't get the whole football thing..."

He pauses, stopping in his tracks and by extension, stopping you too. He looks down at you, snow fluttering into his red head of hair—it takes everything within yourself to not reach up and swoop it out of the bright fire because you know it will burn your fingertips, "But I know you do. I ask only one other thing of you... Watch me become the best in the world."

Your heart speeds up. It beats so fast you fear it may go flying out of your chest. Your stomach does knots and you want to lean closer so bad your chest hurts. Fuck.

Sae... you're the worst in the world. I hate you.

You feel tears fall down your cheeks and you let out a muffled sob, wracked into your hands when you slap them over your face. You don't want him to see you like this—a mess without him holding you together like glue.

He wraps his arms around you, tugging you close and resting your head in the crook of his neck—buried in the red scarf—and you can only sob when he draws lazy circles on your back. 

I hate you, Sae Itoshi.

You clench your fingers into the back of his shirt and clutch him tight, as if he may disappear within your grasp—and soon, he will.

I hate you more than anything in the world. You're the worst. You suck.

It takes a little longer for you to stop breaking down—you hiccup a little, and step away from his arms (as much as it kills you to do so) to wipe your eyes, curled lashes now completely fallen by now, from the wetness of your tears. Your eyes feel red, and you look like shit.

Still, Sae looks at you like you're the only thing in the world, and you can't help the hotness that falls over your face—despite the winter air that surrounds you.

I hate that you made me love you, stupid fucking Sae.

The silence that ensues between you both isn't as excruciating as before. It's nice. Almost comforting. You feel a little more willing to let him go. 

"... Are you okay, now?"

There it is—the sense of concern laid in his tone and it all comes crashing back down to you again. This time—you do not cry like a baby, and you only swallow thickly and nod.

"... Yeah."

Your voice is quieter than you remember. Everything is different to how you remember. That's how it is, when you grow up.

Silence fills the space between the two of you once more. You're cold. Your fingernails are a pale purple and red dusts the apples of your cheeks (though, you're not too sure whether it's from said winter or the burning fire that stands in front of you).

He stares at you, almost uncomfortably quiet, for a little longer. If it were anyone else, they'd just think Sae was a little weirdo who doesn't know what to say. You are not anyone else. You know Sae is a little weirdo who doesn't know what to say—but you also know that he is considering something.

The furrow of his brows—the squinting of his eyes—it's all so vivid to you. 

You want to empty out your stomach when he slowly removes that bright red scarf from around his neck. The pale skin on his face grows slightly redder with the loss of such a warmth the cotton brought. He does not look bothered by such a loss. 

He brings his arms up, and wraps the red around you, instead. Instantly—it is second nature to you—your fingers dig into the material and you stare up at Sae with wide, bright eyes.

"... Sae..."

Your voice is still quiet, but it is almost seeming to sound hopeful. Hoping for what? You yourself are not too sure, either. 

"I know this might be a lot for you, [name]." He begins to talk, with a lower tone than you've ever heard from him—like he's worried that, even in a snowy, empty park, somebody else will hear the words only meant for you. "But I'm doing this for us."

For... us...?

Your breathing picks up as his gloves hand places itself lightly on your cheek. "We're growing up, [name]. We aren't kids anymore. Your dreams—our dreams—they can become a reality, if only we try."

You've never heard Sae sound so assured in himself. Or maybe you have—but you've just never listened like you have now. He is so warm in front of you. Your heart beats so hard you think it may just go flying out of your chest.

"I promise I'll make all your dreams come true." 

A small, harmless-sounding promise—it would've been so if it were anybody but Sae Itoshi. If it were anybody but the man you loved so dearly. If it were anybody but him—you would've thought so.

This is Sae Itoshi.

You place your hand over the back of his—where it rests on your face—and tilt your head into his touch. He looks pleased at this action, and leans in a little closer. His breath is warm, fanning onto your cold face.

"Sae..." You mumble, mouth shaking with every word. He is listening, intently. "We're going to be grown-ups soon, right? I... don't really want to grow up. It sounds so scary."

He doesn't say a word, so you continue. "But... if it's with you... then it won't be so bad, right?"

A snowflake flutters onto the tip of his nose and melts as soon as it makes contact with his cherry-kissed skin.

"Will you give me one last kiss... before we're all grown up?"

A soft whisper at only he could possibly hear—but it did not matter, because right now, the only two people that existed in the world were you and Sae Itoshi.

Your parents, his mother, Rin, his teammates—nobody else mattered in this moment, when Sae leaned in slowly and your lashes fluttered shut against your cheek. Nothing in this world mattered, except for Sae Itoshi, kissing you under a streetlamp that showered gold onto you like it were honey.

Your heart explodes in your chest and you've never felt more love than in this moment. You aren't too sure what kind of love, yet—but you have all the time in the world to learn.

The moonlight makes him look etheral, you think. The snow that has gathered atop his hair gives it a cool white sheen and you giggle as you brush it out of the blazing fire once more.

To grow up—you're willing to do so, so long as Sae Itoshi promises to make all of your dreams come true.

© ILIVERAEE 2024

#bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk fluff #bllk x you #sae #sae itoshi #itoshi sae #itoshi sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #sae x reader #blue lock sae #bllk sae #itoshi brothers #itoshi #blue lock fluff #itoshi rin #© iliverae 2024 !

[tangerinesgirl]

Pull Some Strings

Fem!Reader x Frank/Adam Barrett (Abigail)

Word count: 1.1k

Rating: 18+, explicit

Warnings: smut, denied orgasm, GodComplex!Frank, JOI, degradion, Frank swearing a lot (as usual), pet names, vaguely non con if you squint bc mind control

Summary: You've been flirting with Frank the entire evening. He tests his new vampire powers and turns you into his puppet. Things get freaky.

Notes: this seems too good to not have been done before, I did have a search beforehand so I'm sorry if it does exist! We need more Frank smut ASAP! Also, reader has nipple piercings in this and there's use of Y/N.

You jump awake with a burning hot pain in your neck. You reach to touch the wound but you find nothing there. Memories start to play in your mind, how Frank willingly accepted the offer to be turned into a monster, while you sat on the floor helpless. You were heartbroken that he could turn into a traitor like that, after the two of you fighting so hard together, but the other part of you couldn't keep your eyes off him, seeing him covered in blood, moaning as Lambert gave him his new life. You watch in horror as he stakes Lambert through the heart, you try to grab the shelf behind you to get up, but Frank stamps on your arm, breaking it instantly. You scream as he pulls your hair, exposing your neck to him.

Frank whispers in your ear, "I'm going to make you my puppet, and we're going to have a little fun". You whimper as he pecks a little kiss on the side of your mouth, and dives his teeth into your neck. You can feel yourself getting colder, your body twitching as you loose consciousness.

*

"Y/N....you are mine"

The sound of Frank's voice lures you back awake. You're in a bedroom somewhere, but you can tell you're still in this god forsaken house. "Oh good you're awake". You look around the room instinctively trying to find the source of the voice.

"What's going on?"

"Keep up sweetheart, did you not pay attention to what happened to Sammy? Or were you too busy trying to get me to fuck your brains out?"

Your mind jumps back to how you flirted playfully with Frank the whole evening. The car ride where you were zipping your hoodie down to make your breasts pop out. When you brushed past him to open the door. The way you would look at his lips, and chew the bottom of yours every time he gave the crew orders. You found him very attractive, and the dominance was a huge turn on for you.

You sit next to him at the bar in the house, "You know, I'm very much into the hot boss scenario". Your hand brushes against his as you reach for your drink. In a split second, Frank pins your hand to the counter and grabs your neck with the other one, "You're really going to flirt with me when we have bigger fucking problems right now?"

Everyone in the group stares at you as you go bright red from embarrassment. You decide to roll with it, liking how agitated Frank is getting at your advances. Afterall you've nothing to loose, no one will know your true name after this. You moan loudly with a "oh yes, harder daddy". Frank lets you go in disgust. He spits out a "fucking whore" under his breath. You hear him and giggle, "only for you" and blow him a kiss as he walks away.

*

Your mind snaps back to reality. "I know how you like being told what to do, and I'm curious to see if this actually fucking worked first time... So...Frank says, take off your hoodie". You immediately unzip your hoodie without a moment's thought, "What the fuck?"

"Frank says undo your bra". You do as he says, part of you is very much into him finally reciprocating what you've been putting down the whole evening, even in these circumstances.

"Frank says play with your nipples". You moan as you grab your breasts and tug gently on your nipples.

"Wait I can feel something cold...do you have piercings? That's fucking hot... Frank says undo your belt". The belt clinks to the floor, you can somehow tell that Frank is doing the same, wherever he is.

"Frank says undo your buttons". You unzip your jeans, and dip your hand in further, you can feel the wetness growing in your underwear as you try and find some kind of friction.

"Frank says stop. Frank didn't say to do that now, did he?"

You shake your head.

"Use your words"

"No"

"No what?"

"No sir"

"Good girl. Now. Frank says to circle your fucking clit. Slowly"

You moan softly, it's painful for you not to do anything else right now.

"Frank says stop"

The slow orders are making you impatient, you need more of a release, "please".

"Please what?"

"I need more"

"Then you fucking wait"

You can feel Frank playing with his cock, it pains you that you can't see, but you can feel him growing hard, the pre cum on his hands. You can even hear his subtle moans as he palms himself.

"Frank says dip your index finger into your pussy".

You sigh in relief as your hand finally enters you.

"Frank says insert another finger"

You fuck yourself open, Frank can hear the sound of your wetness and swears under his breath.

"You sound fucking soaked, the sound of my voice gets you this wet huh? Now...play with your clit".

You start to do so and Frank laughs, "Frank didn't say "Frank says" now did he?"

You cry out in agitation, "Frank please".

"Nah ah, what do you call me?"

"Sorry, sir"

"That's better baby. Frank says touch your clit"

You can feel yourself getting closer, Frank can too. "I'm going to cum Fr-sir, please can I cum?".

"Frank says stop"

"No!" You whimper as you pull your hands out of you. Denying you of your orgasm makes Frank's come quicker, the power over you as well as being a newly turned vampire makes him feel like a God. He takes off his shirt as he starts to cum on his chest. You can feel the hot liquid on your chest too. Your hands feel around but there's nothing there. You're really pissed off, but still very much aroused. Frank moans as he continues to empty himself on his chest, it seems to last forever. As he finally comes to a stop, he lets out one last big moan. "Do you want to taste?"

Part of you wants to give him the silent treatment for the way he just used you, but you say "yes sir" like the good puppet you are.

Frank takes a finger of his cum off his chest and wipes it on his lips. He licks it up with his tongue. You can feel the taste slowly seeping into your mouth, you bite your lip and swirl your tongue around, lapping up every invisible drop. It's salty, with a hint of iron, but oddly creamy at the same time.

"I think that was a pretty successful test, wouldn't you say, Y/N?"

You finally find your backbone after Frank and his stupid voice turned it into mush, "Fuck you".

"Oh I will, right after I kill me a vampire"

#frank x reader #frank (abigail) x reader #fanfic #abigail #movie #dan stevens #adam barrett #adam barrett x reader #horror #vampire #frank abigail #frank

[mishy-mashy]

I said this in a whole reblog, but just copy-pasting to a separate post because I think it'll give some reading comprehension and reblogs don't show up in the search feature.. again, I'm reiterating what I said in another post.

Go check out @demidokuriya 's post for this; OP's post made me put this all down in like. 20 minutes. Mind went vroom vroom cuz HEY THEY'RE ONTO SOMETHING.

(They also reblogged the post with some hint to some behind the scenes of what led to the ideas if you wanna check that out)

Look below at how, when Mineta told AFO to spare Tokoyami, AFO specifically went "..."

He remembers Jirou and thinks, The braying howls of the weak...

He was going to take Tokoyami's Quirk. He took Hawks'. But after Mineta pleaded with him, AFO just straight-up left and didn't take anyone else's Quirk.

AFO saw Yoichi in Mineta.

These scenes are near-identical to each other.

Mineta and Yoichi (at that time) are both much smaller than the normal person at their age

They're both hurt, yet dragged themselves up from the ground to throw something at AFO, to get his attention and make their voice

Both are considered weak, even if they have a Quirk (Mineta's Pop-Off and Yoichi's undeveloped Factor)

The fact that Yoichi got AFO's attention here by throwing a can at him, while Mineta got his attention by throwing a Pop-Off ball; and it stuck.

Mineta's call for his attention landed and actually stuck to AFO. This is unlike when Yoichi and his can bounced off, and AFO kicked him, not listening to him; AFO listened to Mineta and left Tokoyami alone, technically doing what Mineta wanted—to not hurt this person.

AFO just went on to hurt more people away from Mineta's [Yoichi's] eyes so the small weakling wouldn't see.

Yoichi and Mineta both cried to AFO to not hurt in his ways, when AFO was intent on stealing people's Quirks

AFO even stole Hawks' Quirk during this time.

He had time to steal Hawks' Quirk, and though he could've tossed him to the side, he let Hawks stand in his way.

He had the energy. Right after this event, he flew off and left the scene. But he didn't go for Tokoyami immediately.

And this let Mineta play his part, and remind AFO of Yoichi.

"A putrid, festering Quirk Factor."

That sounds like Yoichi, AFO.

".. such garbage."

Hey hey hey, what did Yoichi throw at him when they were kids?

A discarded can. Garbage.

This chapter (385) where AFO listens to Mineta is literally called [A Youthful Urge].

Mineta told AFO to take his Pop-Off (hurt him) instead. But last time, AFO hurt Yoichi by kicking him; this time, AFO not only listened to Mineta to not hurt Tokoyami, but didn't touch Mineta at all.

Even though this time, Mineta [Yoichi] offered to take that place of suffering.

Yoichi didn't do that back then. AFO just turned on little Yoichi anyway.

Yoichi through his whole existence is literally [the braying howls of the weak]. AFO acknowledges he's weak and idealistic, yet he still loves him.

Side note about this panel, I think it's interesting that in this vision, this was the first time we saw Yoichi's eyes: when he was being defiant, despite being pushed down by someone much stronger than him.

Really characteristic of him, honestly. Yoichi's soft-spoken and frail, but it's always reiterated that Yoichi had a powerful will against his stronger big brother.

Mineta at this moment reminded him too much of Yoichi, because the two scenes are near-identical to each other. Parallels, really.

Reiterating something from OP's post that I reblogged this from;

"The reminder of his brother made him uncomfortable, so he hurried away."

AFO didn't want to hurt Yoichi again.

#i really dont mean to steal the post from op this fandoms reading comprehension just bothers me #cuz i see too many takes being that horikoshi is an IDIOT who DOESNT KNOW WHAT HES DOING and RUINED A GREAT STORY #and this should only be FEEL-GOOD- #ahahahaha NO. #horikoshi is a genius and him labeling the manga as shounen attributes to a worse-level-of-understanding from the audience #reblog #technically #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #yoichi shigaraki #minoru mineta #afo #all for one #ofa #one for all #spoilers #the reason i started posting bnha stuff was to add some of my own reading comprehension #horikoshi is really smart honestly #poor yoichi AFO saw him in mineta #minetas supposed to be likeable but hes creepy toward girls #but if mineta were tall and nothing else changed i bet some people would like him romantically #reblogs dont show unless its from someone you follow or in the fyp page and i go to the chapters of rewound afo a lot #cuz. cough. hes hot. why #hes an ugly baby and more western or greek(?)-looking as a grown man but between those ages? hes hot and looks like yoichi #im sorry im not trying to hijack anything i swear #im not very smart but i like psychoanalysis and foreshadowing #this was just my reblog adding onto what op said. check the og post for more context #i wouldnt have thought about this on my own. originally thought AFO sparing tokoyami was just for the series fans

[cinamun]

Finally Mercy!! It’s like I knew she was going to do it once the bomb dropped about Jackson and she was still there with him but seeing actually happen is wild and I had to go back like 10x. All I really have to say is hurt people hurt people and Bishop should’ve took the warning after the tv threat cuz maybe she wasn’t joking. Should’ve definitely left after the first assassination attempt. He thought he could still get in her head even after finding out her secret and well…she got in his chest. It’s crazy to think all that time she was allowing herself to go through all that as a punishment when she had it in her all along but it took Jayce finding out about Eva to make her remember why she did it. I can’t wait to see how Mercy continues to develop after this. And there’s still so many other situations to check in on still! Way to wrap up a story arch we’ve all be waiting for while still keeping us on the edge of our seats for a new one to begin! Your writing and directing is phenomenal. I’ve been here since Indya was pregnant with Hope and I always say this needs to be a show or a physical visual novel!

Side note: do you ever get nervous or anxious about publish big scenes that you’re unsure how it’ll be recieved? Or excited to publish scenes like this where you know it’ll blow the rrr doors open? This had to be hard to sit on for two weeks!

"He thought he could still get in her head even after finding out her secret and well…she got in his chest."

Say it again for the villians in the back!!!

Listen, she gave him 3 whole opportunities to do what he said he was going to do, which was take her home:

Maybe he was feeling himself a lil bit after putting the math together. Who knows, but what I do know, is that's exactly where he fucked up. He left her without a choice. At least, he left her FEELING like she didn't have a choice.

Anyway, THANK YOU for the kind words friend. Yes I was super nervous about this and didn't finish the dialogue until this morning tbh lol I also get excited because I absolutely LOVE the suspense and psychological shit that fucks with our perception of reality. Writing this arc has been super fun and we're STILL not done. I would say what makes me nervous is the subject matter. Anytime we get into heavy subjects I worry about triggering folks or losing folks. I try to be mindful of that but I also just write what comes to mind and hate to censor myself even when I think of wild shit.

#story stuff #you have the best takes friend!! #THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU #what a ride!

[venerawrites]

Hiii

Can ask for shino and shikamaru (separate) (angst)

A story about them having a crush on reader but then they found out that someone likes them too??

Maybe they were about to go see reader until they saw them with another boy 😭👊👊👊

author's note: wow, I took a while with this request, but I was waiting to be in the right mood so I can write it! I changed the story a bit with Shino, I hope that's okay! I really hope you enjoy and thank you so much for requesting! <3

Shino

Being best friends with Kiba had ton of pros - you always had something fun to do, his mom made the best fried spinach rolls and you also had unlimited passes to snuggle Akamaru any time you want. It also gave you the chance to join him and his teammates' training, despite not being a ninja yourself.

Spending so much time observing them, you grew somewhat closer with Hinata and Shino too.

The girl was shy and timid at first, but once she got to know you, she started to relax and speak more. For your surprise, she was also quite quick witted, offering remarks and comment the second Kiba said or did something. You didn't had a lot of common, but she had a vast knowledge in very different areas and could keep conversation on almost any topic.

Shino, on the other hand, was more difficult to get to know. The first few times you showed up at their training, he just silently nodded his head as a greeting, before continuing his sparring. Even when it was time for his break, he choose to sit by himself in the opposite side of the field, rather next to you. After a few months, however, your patience paid off and he started to have small chats with you, usually cantered either around nature or insects.

Naturally, at first you thought that maybe he didn't like you. You've seen him talk with other shinobi on the streets of Konoha, and he sounded quite blunt with the rest of his team, so you didn't think he was shy or embarrassed. But when you finally shared your thoughts with Kiba, he just laughed, resting his arm around your shoulders:

"Don't worry, Y/N! He is like that with everyone - trust me, I know him like the back of my hand!"

Unbeknown to you, meters away, standing in one of the many alleys leading to the central road, was the devil himself. Shino's eyes remained focused on the hand around your shoulder, his lips instinctively pressing into a thin line.

Shino often questioned how did he got to his current position.

Being in a team with the Inuzuka, he knew who you are before he even met you - Kiba never missed a chance to say how beautiful and funny his best friend is, and how one day they are going to finally gain the courage to ask them out. At first, Shino didn't think much of it - his teammate was famous for getting a new crush every second week of the month.

But soon every second week turned into a whole month and then to six months, before it was finally a full year and Kiba got bold enough to bring you to one of their training practices.

Oh, how wrong it felt for Shino's breath to hitch in his throat, the moment he laid his eyes on you for the first time! Thankfully his stare was well hidden behind his dark glasses, because he was sure if the other boy noticed, he wouldn't hesitate to attack and that would surely affect his team's future dynamic.

Knowing he should not lust after his friend's interest, the man tried his best to stay away. He avoided talking with you, sitting near you or even looking at you for too long. The more he resisted this pull he felt toward you, however, the harder it got.

"What if I just give myself a little taste? Maybe once I get to know them, all these feelings would fade away", he thought to himself when he finally got brave enough to sit next to you.

Any hope he had that he would lose interest once he talk with you, quickly disappeared into thin air, once you looked at him with your big eyes, eagerly nodding for him to continue his explanation about dragonflies and the metamorphosis after their larval stage. He wasn't used to someone questioning him so much or show such keen interest in what he was talking about, so when you did, he couldn't help but realise he was in love.

Shino considered himself a good and loyal friend. But the more he watched Kiba wasting his time without saying anything to you, the more selfish he started to feel.

Why shouldn't he show you his interest? His teammate was obviously not going to do it, so it was technically not a stabbing in the back... right? It was your choice at the end of the day who do you want, but he had a right to compete for your heart too!

After months of thinking it over and over, Shino knew he had to tell you how he felt, even if the risk of you rejecting him was big. But as he watched Kiba sitting you down on one of the benches, his hand still around your shoulder, while the other one shyly pulled a flower from behind his back, he knew he was too late.

He had lost without even being given a chance.

Shaking his head, he threw the small box of your favourite chocolates bonbons in the nearby bin, before turning away and stuffing his hands in his pockets. The sound of your laughter ringed behind him and he had to stiffen his whole body, stopping it from taking a glance and hurting his heart even more.

Maybe one day things would be different - it would you be you and him on that bench, and he would pour his whole soul in front of you, promising you the world if you only give him the chance for him to give it to you.

Maybe one day he would be able to be with you, without feeling the rotten feeling of guilt and disgust with himself.

Maybe one day, but today was not that day.

Shikamaru

Clear days like these were rare - no clouds, no wind, not even the slightest movement in the air - just the unforgiving sun shining brightly at the Village Hidden in the Leaf. Time felt just like a concept when the hours kept dragging slowly after one another, each feeling like a whole eternity.

A loud yawn escaped Shikamaru's lips and his feet dragged through the dirt, making their way to the training grounds where he was sure you will be. While you didn't posses any special abilities or unique jutsu techniques, nature has gifted you with extremely sharp mind, wide imagination and skilful hands, which were able to build any type of weapon. When you were not away on a mission or hanging out with Shikamaru, you liked to spend your time resting the improvement to your latest gadgets.

The friendship that blossom between you two in your late teens was both surprising and unexpected. Back at the Academy you both shown quite hostile behaviour toward each other and while you were not exactly “enemies”, you couldn’t stand each others presence. The Nara boy did not like how loud, unpredictive and spontaneous you are, seeing your carefree attitude as both annoying and dangerous, especially during missions.

On the other hand, you were also not a fan of him. While you acknowledged his intelligence and gift for coming up with quite interesting strategies, his laziness, sarcasm and constantly bored expression were something you would never want in a fellow comrade.

Yet, a few years later you were almost inseparable. His knowledge combined with your handiness made you a powerful duo and you were often combined in missions together, especially when it came to tracking and ambushing rogue ninjas. What started as strictly shinobi work soon turned into daily hangouts. You learned from each other and often spend whole nights talking and brainstorming how to better your teamwork.

But respect and friendship were not the only thing growing between you two. Shikamaru didn't know when or how exactly it happened, but one morning he woke up next to you on the sofa, after both of you fell asleep playing shogi, and he looked at you, suddenly realising what the funny feeling inside of his chest was. He reached out to you that day, gently removing the hair out of your peacefully sleeping face and wishing that one day he will wake up next to you as your lover, not just the friend you accidentally fell asleep next to.

Months passed since that time and he never said even a word about his feelings. Every day you met at the exact same spot and exact same time, spending your whole days together, just like you were before. You continued acting the same way, enthusiastically talking about your latest inventions, completely unaware of your friend's longing looks and blushing cheeks. Or maybe you were aware, but you were nice enough not to say anything about it.

Shikamaru rarely felt fear, but for weeks now this was the main emotion squeezing his heart. What if you didn't return his affection? What if you wanted to just be friends? What if you realised his feelings and decided to take a step back, thus making him lose you forever?

All these questions were actively torturing his brain every waking minute, but as he stood near the entrance of the training grounds, watching you laughing, head buried in Naruto's chest, he couldn't help but squeeze his hands into fists.

What was this dobe doing? And since when you were SO close?

Feeling someone's glare burning the back of your head, you lifted your head from the blonde's jacket, before turning around. Spotting your best friend near the gates of the grounds, you ignored his narrowed eyes and annoyed frown, instead waving your hand high in the air.

"Shika!", you smiled brightly, pulling away completely from Naruto's embrace, "You are late today!"

The black haired male only hummed in response, slowly walking over to you, his eyes dancing between you and his other friend. While your demeanour seemed normal, the Uzumaki's face was all red and he kept glancing at you every few seconds, his teeth deep into his bottom lip.

"Am I interrupting something?", the words came out heavy with sarcasm and your brows immediately furrowed. Shikamaru hasn't used this tone since your academy days, when he used any chance to show his dislike toward you.

Naruto finally acknowledged the other male, one of his hands making his way toward the back of his neck, where he nervously scratched the skin. He grinned at the Nara, stepping over to him and extending his arm for a handshake.

"H-Hey, Shikamaru! Didn't expect to see you here, heh...", his hand shamefully retracted, once the other boy did not take it, instead glancing at it with disgust. You watched the weird interaction, while pulling your weapons in your bag, confused at why both of them were acting so strange in each other's presence. They were not the best of friends, but they were still pretty close and it was unusual of them to be that nervous around each other.

"I was just asking Y/N if they want to come and grab some ramen with me-"

"They are busy", Shikamaru impatiently interrupted, briefly moving his eyes to you, "We have plans already."

The blonde man let out a small "oh!" and he looked over to you with a confused expression. Having all your weapons neatly packed in your bag, you stood next to both of them with crossed arms, you face twisted in annoyance.

"Actually...", you moved over to Naruto, taking his hand in yours and giving him a small smile, "I am so starving, I would love to have some ramen now! If you go and wait for me near the gates, I will be there just in a minute."

The man smiled at you, nodding his head at your words, before reaching toward your shoulder and taking the heavy bag from you. He passed Shikamaru, nodding his head as a goodbye, but the dark-haired male was too busy glaring at you in order to give any type of response.

Once Uzumaki was at a safe distance away from you, you turned your attention back to your friend, almost hissing at him:

"What the hell is your problem?"

He scoffed at your words, one of his brows arching high up.

"Naruto?", his name feel out together with a mocking laugh from his lips, "Really? You are ditching me for Naruto?"

You rolled your eyes, both annoyed and baffled by his bizarre behaviour.

"I'm not ditching you!", you defended yourself, before crossing your arms once again, "I am absolutely starving and technically, laying in the middle of a field and sleeping is hardly counted as "plans". Naruto was nice enough to ask me to join him-"

"That dobe likes you! His face looked like he was about to explode when he was next to you!", Shikamaru didn't even wait for you to finish your sentence, before huffing at you. He took a step closer, his jaw clenching, "I though you are better than entertaining stuff like these from... people like him."

The way he said these words, filled with so much venom and dislike... You didn't know who the man you was, but he was definitely not your best friend.

"Dobe? People like him?", you repeated, taking a step back, "Okay, calm down Sasuke 2.0! Don't get your panties in a twist and go rogue or something, because you can't handle the idea of me hanging out with people other than you!"

Before he can reply, you stepped around him, making your way toward Naruto, who was patiently waiting for you near the gates of the training grounds. After a few steps, you looked back, your eyes full with dissapointment:

"I really thought time has changed you... If you decide to stop being a d*ckhead, you know where to find me! Goodbye, Shikamaru!"

The young Nara stood there in the middle of the grassy field watching your figure become smaller and he loudly gulped, when he saw the blonde taking your hand in his. He knew he acted irrationally, based on his jealousy and anger, and know as there was nothing but silence around him, he realised that maybe he did already lost you forever.

cc artwork: Clement Tingry

#shino aburame #shino x reader #shikamaru nara #shikamaru x reader #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #naruto requests #shikamaru angst #shino aburame angst

[wintfleur]

i miss my fav couple (dahlia and stella) so here’s a though about then with their side pieces (will and rut)

the four of them totally travel together this summer. like the girls organize everything and the boys are just like “okay 😃” but they have so much fun.

i see them going to europe like croatia or somewhere near there cause the beaches are soooo pretty. or even thailand or indonesia. they like the nature aspect of the countries more than the cities.

the tiktoks and insta post are so cute and adorable during their trip too, like they’re just always taking candid pictures of each other.

the girls would lowkey make a scrapbook when they get back 🤭🤭

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( omg our fav couple and there side pieces going on a vacation together . . . i love it 🤭 )

au masterlist - you can find everything under #👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ Stella Hughes!

I definitely see them going somewhere tropical !!! They have been planning it for weeks in there group chat . . . well Stella & dahlia planning it, and Rutger and will are just happy to be involved tbh !!!

the girls have the whole trip planned to a T, everyday they have something to do and something to see !! You are absolutely right, they definitely love the nature aspect. I can see them going hiking, and trying to find a waterfall and all the beautiful spots not a lot of people know about !!!

They take so many pictures and Stella has so much filming there trip, wanting to be able to look back on it with them in the future !!! I can literally picture them renting a jeep (or some sort of car with the roof can come off) one of the boys driving while the girls are in the back seat, there hair wiping wildly in the wind as they laugh and sing along to the music on the radio.

Oh they spend so much time at the beach !!! and they have so much fun trying new foods and learning about the cultures, it’s a wonderful experience they all have together, and they never want it to end !!!

ohmygod and the sleepovers ??? They have tons of snacks, playing games and watching movies and just having fun! And the night swimming at the hotel pool ,:&::):&:! Oh it would be sm fun !!!

They definitely post a tiktok where it’s like ‘when the trip leaves the group chat’ or however it is, there friends are def a little jealous from how much fun they look to be having but they can’t wait until they get back and tell them all about it !!!

I see Stella and dahlia creating the scrap books at the lake house when they come to visit after the trip !!! and omg I also see the girls making matching friendship bracelets for them and the boys for the trip !!!

they are the best omg I love them sm :(

#👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ Stella Hughes! #💌stellahughes! #👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ stella & dahlia #౨ৎ bri #will smith hockey

[paper-cuts-and-fresh-bruises]

So I thought I'd make a post on this as it's been a minute since the season 3 trailer dropped and what I'll be talking about was something that was making the rounds and I thought I'd say something when the craze had died down; but amongst the various topics of conversation, weirdly Colin's virginity seems to have come up, along with the general nature of his sexual experience. So be warned I'm going to be referring to spoilers at points from what's been posted by others on here and on Reddit, I'll leave a gap between this paragraph and the next so there you go, read at your own discretion. (note: post may be long, whoops)

So even if you've remained away from spoilers and seen only the trailer and other official promo stuff, it's clear that Colin has returned from his travel's more experienced this time in more ways than one, namely it is clear that he has been deflowered (kind of hate this term but I couldn't think of something else), and beyond that he's then also become particularly experienced in the bedroom and in the ways of charming women and such. I've seen some people say that they wished he'd still been a virgin more so because they would've found the dynamic of both him and Penelope being virgins something interesting to see as a shift from dynamics of previous seasons, and whilst I don't necessarily hate that, what's disturbed me is the way other people have had such a visceral reaction to Colin having any involvement with any other woman ever and getting ridiculously angry; which is funny when really they should be seen as interesting points of character development. In episode 1 of season 3 he returns home obviously looking as he does now and there's the whole sequence of the dropped glove that he picks up and kisses the hand of the lady in question it belongs to, Colin has returned feeling he has a solid sense of himself but also thinks himself untethered to the necessity of connection in order to engage in sex or even just flirtation, but this is important as the season progresses. In episode 2 from what I've read, he visits a brothel in which he pays for the services of a woman who works there, everything goes fine, I don't know exactly how much we will see of that encounter but it'll probably be enough; also to note, the source of this information stated very clearly that this interaction and a following one in episode 4 do not bear significance or even compare on what we will get with Polin in terms of an array of content that this season delivers.

Speaking of episode 4, reportedly he goes again but this time he's unable to engage as well as he did before and without a doubt this is due to Penelope. Additionally, this is an interesting look at sex in terms of it just being for gratification, and sex in terms of connection, a means to an end versus an act of love. In previous seasons, the depiction of brothels/sex work establishments doesn't really bear the same importance plot wise (side note I am not nor should you go shaming these people in that line of work as it's one that deserved respect like any other, it is simply functioning as a part of the conversation here), unlike here where I think that it's really important as it show's Colin's inner need for connection in order for it to work, because when he was away he probably had no issues getting his kicks because he convinced himself this felt right and back home would be no different, but that only lasts briefly and why you may ask? because the friend who he'd left and returned to transforms from a woman only in name to a woman in fully realised form, from a wallflower into an Emerald, and this kicks into gear the real maturity he needed to gain, realising from not just her appearance but the other qualities she possesses and the ways in which he is both attached and attracted to her, that she is who he has truly loved this whole time, he just needed to get out of his own head. It should also be pointed out that in the show, Colin has always drifted with finding himself let alone sorting out his feelings, so it is highly likely whilst he was technically violating polite society rules with his interactions with Penelope and this should've fired something off in his brain, that it caused him instead to think this is simply something that someone does with a friend they value highly versus being a by-product of his underlying feelings that he has with no one else. And as such, whereas Penelope was the one pining before, now he will be the one doing so and he's no longer on the pedestal he was previously so they'll be on even ground to start something real.

On a quick note, this is a friends to lovers ship but I want to make it clear, especially with men and women dynamics, that not all friends are going to have this trajectory whether we're talking about characters or irl people; friends to lovers tropes should be understood as two people who's connection starts with friendship and there's always a sense it could be something more whether or not both parties are consciously aware and it's to do with how they explore that, and is NOT in any way the case that these friends can somehow never be just friends with a strong connection, case and point Penelope and Morgan from Criminal Minds, close friends and nothing more and they're great.

Something also to say is that the obsession with Colin's sexual experience is just as bad as they way women are treated for their sexual experience, it creates this weird value and attributes a weird rating system of respect to something that's not our business, as well as fetishizing what people do or don't do with their bodies and making assumptions about their activities, so you know maybe we should agree to not do that. Beyond that, how about we actually watch what happens instead of spiralling out of control about this stuff. Also, if I see anyone who aren't fans of this ship to begin with, just leave, you're wasting energy on something that you literally don't need to be, do what the rest of us do and exit out and invest your time in what you actually enjoy instead of festering hate.

#bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #polin #penelope x colin #colin x penelope

[apple-spider-vinegar]

Something I feel often goes unrecognized in discussion of Harry Osborn is the fact that he is the Only Child of a Single Parent.

In my experience/observation (both real and fictional) the only child/single parent bond is so inexorable it's hard to fully comprehend. Few other things will bind two people together in such a way.

Like many familial relationships, it's full of a thousand little hurts that will probably never get brought up again. Sometimes you let the relationship go by the wayside in pursuit of your own life goals because you take it for granted that family will always be around. But there's a unique flavor to it.

Deep down inside you there's an awareness that it's Just The Two Of You. For the child, it may have been just the two of you from your very earliest memories. Sure, you know other people. There are extended family and friends and maybe the parent has a romantic partner or two. But at the end of the day, in your home, in your hearts (something you carry with you no matter where you go) the two of you are all you have and all you feel you can really depend on.

A world in which the two of you aren't together is almost impossible to picture and you don't want to try, even in the moments you wish you could just get away from each other. Being an only child separated from a single parent for the first time ‐ even on normal and amicable terms like when you move out on your own - makes you realize, again and again, how many ways your parent has influenced you. The things you say that you heard from them first, the habits, the opinions. You love them, but sometimes it feels like they still... OWN you, even though you are your own person. Sometimes that frightens you, but the alternative is even more frightening.

Like all love, it'll make you behave selfishly and irrationally at times.

And it'll really make you DEFENSIVE.

If you're Harry Osborn and complain a bit about your dad being a dickhead while deep down wondering if he really even cares about you, that's one thing. But if anyone says a word against him in your presence you have to backtrack. You have to argue in his defense because he's all you have and you're all he has. Loss would unbearable.

Look, guys. It has been years since Harry and Norman Osborn have gotten along or been able to really enjoy each other's company, if they ever could. But if anything happened to the other they would kill everyone in this room and then themselves, do you understand what I'm saying?

#i've seen comic panels where norman is on the verge of going back to being the goblin #and he's thinking 'i must be going mad but if something bad happens to me who will look after harry' #my brother in christ YOU are the bad thing that is happening to him #also when is someone going to draw the osborns with the 'i just wish you liked me' scene from ladybird #it should be noted my analysis is mostly based on the raimiverse but i don't think that's missing the whole picture #i think this may apply to most harrys to some degree #even the '94 cartoon had this to some extent though it was more from norman's side... wish that show cared about harry #kinda feel like i exorcised a demon making this post #hope it opens some eyes to this aspect of the character #harry osborn #norman osborn #green goblin #spider-man #raimiverse #op

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Imagine finally going on your laptop to work on your project that is rapidly becoming due because u beat the executive dysfunction and finding ALL your files deleted (art, apps, sentimental screenshots etc)

And then while you’re fixing your dad’s dumbass mistake file explorer itself corrupts 😞

#FORTUNATELY with my son Dism (the Deployment Image Servicing and Management tool) I was able to fix it 😌 #Which reminds me of when this laptop had it’s usb and camera functions corrupted too #That was a whole affair that involved me having a seperate laptop for a while but the most humiliating thing #was after I came back to this one and had it factory reset my dad said it was from a bad double image #and I’m like 😭😭😭 we could’ve used the DISM… like my beloved head child #Ok real talk the nature of how Dism’s name came about is going to have to come out sooner or later #I was planning on taking it with me to the grave but Dolphin consider this a treat for us becoming so close #It’s extremely embarrassing but it’s also 100% the truth #Dism and Archus have their names taken from a persona YouTube channel I used to watch obsessively….. #like the channel name literally is their two names smooshed together in that order #The funny thing is as I got older I learnt that those names were actually the names of the YouTuber’s OCs themselves 😅 #They REALLY were meant to be placeholder names but when the time came I really couldn’t find anything that suited #Dism better than his non-name 😅 it’s too fitting to the story and his character even now. especially now. #And I really love the dichotomy between the warm and loved Archie vs the cast-off broken Archus it’s so good for him too #And as a side-note. My Dism is the superior Dism ✨ #just pav things

[gibbearish]

hi i’m not really sure how to do this but i came from your uquiz and you seem knowledgeable and nice and so i’m asking you a question now i’m sorry

uhm, so, i think i maybe might be trans (ftm) because i’m super dysphoric and i sometimes look at guys and i get really jealous because they just get to, like, exist like that (i’m not really sure what the “that” is, but god, do i want it) and i very much don’t and when i refer to myself using he/him pronouns in my head it feels, uhm, at the risk of being a cliche, right, i guess.

but the thing is that i don’t really fit into any of the stereotypical trans guy things. like a lot of my friends when i was little were girls and though i have some stereotypically masculine hobbies (sports and physics) i also sew, and when i was little i was obsessed with being a princess for like a month before i started refusing to wear dresses.

i don’t think i’m non-binary, i tried using they/them pronouns this summer and while they didn’t actively hurt like she does, they didn’t really feel right.

so, like, am i lying to myself? i don’t know, maybe i just want to be special (i don’t want it, though, if i could just be happy as a girl i would).

sorry i just unloaded half an essay on you you obviously don’t have to reply and i know you’re probably not qualified to answer anyway, i just needed to tell someone, you know?

anyways, i hope you’re having a nice night or day or whatever. thank you, for, like, existing on the internet i guess. your quiz was very nice. bye.

howdy anon! dw i am always glad to answer questions abt this stuff even tho it make take me a while lol

my best advice for situations like this is i know its easy but don't let yourself get caught up in the trap of "well this is the label that makes me feel best but i dont technically check off every single box for it so am i just lying?" people arent video game quests, you dont have to hit every single box for it to count, youre allowed to have stuff fall outside the technical definition of a term while still calling yourself it. im very similar to you, i was in tap and ballet growing up, wore dresses and makeup for most of highschool, sewing crocheting knitting the whole shebang. but the important part is that none of those things make a difference to your identity. knowing how to sew doesnt make you a girl, it can just make you a guy who knows how to sew. its a thing you do, not who you are.

all that being said, i think another helpful angle to look at things is "does the distinction between two similar labels actually make a difference to me?" using myself as an example again, i dont call myself a trans man because while i do prefer presenting masculine, for some reason the term 'man' just doesnt feel right for me. but at the same time, to the rest of the world that's functionally what i am, right? so does that change /who/ i am? no. so for me personally, ive deliberately chosen not to file myself into either "trans man" or "nonbinary" and just move on with my day, because to me it doesnt actually make a difference which one i am, im still gonna stay on t, i still want top surgery, i still want to be perceived masculine, and thats not gonna change no matter what name is on the box so who gives a shit. just do what makes you happy

#also this is a side note but going back to the whole 'when i was growing up i was more feminine' angle #one thing ive found is that the more masc i get the more pressing the Need To Be Masculine becomes #so like. accepting that identities can be fluid and change over time can be very helpful imo #maybe i was a girl at one point and now im not‚ or maybe i never was‚ who cares. either way‚ im not one now‚ and thats what matters #gender is a game we were all forced to play from birth‚ youre allowed to say fuck all these rules im just gonna exist how i want #i hope this all makes sense and isnt an incoherent ramble labflsbfksbfkeb ive been having brain fog lately so i tend #to lose track of where i am when im talking sometimes #i dont think youre lying to yourself‚ i think introspection and understanding your identity are very difficult things to do #and i think like a lot of trans(?) people pre-everything youre scared that the answer will be 'yes‚ you are trans‚ and now you have to #figure out how to live in a way that feels right' #not to say nonbinary people dont have to deal w the same stuff as trans ppl obv bc Hello Thats Me ksnfkshfkek #but like. i feel like most ppl see it as 'figure out identity then work on transition goals' but like you absolutely dont have to #you can just say 'idk what i am but i know doing xyz will make me happier' and just go from there #and who knows! maybe doing so will change your understanding of yourself to the point you find picking a label far easier #or maybe it wont! you wont know till you try though #anyways hope this ramble helps have a good day osbfksbflsnls

[artemisbarnowl]

I just got home from Melbourne today. I was meant to leave melb for work interstate on Thursday but i had a cough so was benched. I had to organise my own flight home since it wasn't work that put me in melb so to save money I came home today. I got nearly two weeks visiting and I gotta tell ya most of it was pretty lame

#still had to hold back tears leaving though #also weird side note ive always wondered if i actually like clothes or its just an easy feminine behaviour to do #easier than make up or whatever #but after spending the whole time in 2.5 outfits i can confidently say that is not the case and what is the case is #i need to wear different clothes as enrichment or I'll die or something #again the downside of komari method is if youre a joyful person you're going to miss your belongings when you're apart from them