#to lose track of where i am when im talking sometimes

[gibbearish]

hi i’m not really sure how to do this but i came from your uquiz and you seem knowledgeable and nice and so i’m asking you a question now i’m sorry

uhm, so, i think i maybe might be trans (ftm) because i’m super dysphoric and i sometimes look at guys and i get really jealous because they just get to, like, exist like that (i’m not really sure what the “that” is, but god, do i want it) and i very much don’t and when i refer to myself using he/him pronouns in my head it feels, uhm, at the risk of being a cliche, right, i guess.

but the thing is that i don’t really fit into any of the stereotypical trans guy things. like a lot of my friends when i was little were girls and though i have some stereotypically masculine hobbies (sports and physics) i also sew, and when i was little i was obsessed with being a princess for like a month before i started refusing to wear dresses.

i don’t think i’m non-binary, i tried using they/them pronouns this summer and while they didn’t actively hurt like she does, they didn’t really feel right.

so, like, am i lying to myself? i don’t know, maybe i just want to be special (i don’t want it, though, if i could just be happy as a girl i would).

sorry i just unloaded half an essay on you you obviously don’t have to reply and i know you’re probably not qualified to answer anyway, i just needed to tell someone, you know?

anyways, i hope you’re having a nice night or day or whatever. thank you, for, like, existing on the internet i guess. your quiz was very nice. bye.

howdy anon! dw i am always glad to answer questions abt this stuff even tho it make take me a while lol

my best advice for situations like this is i know its easy but don't let yourself get caught up in the trap of "well this is the label that makes me feel best but i dont technically check off every single box for it so am i just lying?" people arent video game quests, you dont have to hit every single box for it to count, youre allowed to have stuff fall outside the technical definition of a term while still calling yourself it. im very similar to you, i was in tap and ballet growing up, wore dresses and makeup for most of highschool, sewing crocheting knitting the whole shebang. but the important part is that none of those things make a difference to your identity. knowing how to sew doesnt make you a girl, it can just make you a guy who knows how to sew. its a thing you do, not who you are.

all that being said, i think another helpful angle to look at things is "does the distinction between two similar labels actually make a difference to me?" using myself as an example again, i dont call myself a trans man because while i do prefer presenting masculine, for some reason the term 'man' just doesnt feel right for me. but at the same time, to the rest of the world that's functionally what i am, right? so does that change /who/ i am? no. so for me personally, ive deliberately chosen not to file myself into either "trans man" or "nonbinary" and just move on with my day, because to me it doesnt actually make a difference which one i am, im still gonna stay on t, i still want top surgery, i still want to be perceived masculine, and thats not gonna change no matter what name is on the box so who gives a shit. just do what makes you happy

#also this is a side note but going back to the whole 'when i was growing up i was more feminine' angle #one thing ive found is that the more masc i get the more pressing the Need To Be Masculine becomes #so like. accepting that identities can be fluid and change over time can be very helpful imo #maybe i was a girl at one point and now im not‚ or maybe i never was‚ who cares. either way‚ im not one now‚ and thats what matters #gender is a game we were all forced to play from birth‚ youre allowed to say fuck all these rules im just gonna exist how i want #i hope this all makes sense and isnt an incoherent ramble labflsbfksbfkeb ive been having brain fog lately so i tend #to lose track of where i am when im talking sometimes #i dont think youre lying to yourself‚ i think introspection and understanding your identity are very difficult things to do #and i think like a lot of trans(?) people pre-everything youre scared that the answer will be 'yes‚ you are trans‚ and now you have to #figure out how to live in a way that feels right' #not to say nonbinary people dont have to deal w the same stuff as trans ppl obv bc Hello Thats Me ksnfkshfkek #but like. i feel like most ppl see it as 'figure out identity then work on transition goals' but like you absolutely dont have to #you can just say 'idk what i am but i know doing xyz will make me happier' and just go from there #and who knows! maybe doing so will change your understanding of yourself to the point you find picking a label far easier #or maybe it wont! you wont know till you try though #anyways hope this ramble helps have a good day osbfksbflsnls

[itgirlgyu]

HOW I THINK GAMING WITH TXT WOULD BE LIKE!

authors note! —this was my first ever request!! i apologise for the inaccuracies of my gaming knowledge I've never played a game except for exclusively beginner version of solitaire or those old nokia snake mobile games.

YEONJUN

it's actually quite enjoyable

will talk hella smack before yall like get your hands on the controller

swears he's pro

p.r.o, he actually spells it out

I don't think he understands some rules either

nevertheless

he's actually good until he gets too fancy with his moves to show off

and then keeps on dying a few hundred times

and then he's quiet like yo iMMA focus

"imma set the money where the mouth is at"

still keeps losing the more he focuses

which is EXACTLY why it's worth playing with him.

man just hilarious to look at while he's getting his ass getting handed back to him

I'm not saying he's a sore loser but like maybe, like just a few dozen times, he will put in casual conversations that, he wasn't in particular flow that day so you should play with him again

rinse and repeat

if he wins, he's gonna use that against you for like half a year

SOOBIN

1/2 worst person to play with

catch me jack hammering a rusted nail into my feet rather than playing with him

THIS MAN is like so fucking smug

but like he gets to gloat bc HES GOOD AT GAMES

and that's the problem, is that that he's way too good and I hate that

like lose sometimes for new flavor maybe?

what's even worse is that he's like actually talented at games, like crazy

just go play for the country then mf

lifeless loser

and what's worse is that he'd be like so casual about it

like oh yeah I beat your ass 200 times, I guess I got lucky, I'm just such a natural.

but like in games

"biTCH QUIT WHINING ABOUT KILL STEALS. TRY TO STOP ME IF YOU CAN U CXNT ABHAHAAB"

I'm telling u he's shady

he gives off that one student in class whose like oh i didn't study for shit and ends up getting 98 percent.

play with him, but never against him.

BEOMGYU

2/2 worst person to play with

runs his mouth more than than the fingers on his console

tries to gaslight you into giving up items for him or not kill him

not really a honorable move but sometimes it works so I guess you gotta do what you gotta do to survive

talks smack but like the type to drag your mother into it but if you do it back he will cry

the console smasher

will blame anything and everything

"IT'S NOT Fault I PRESSED THIS BUTTON WHY DIDNT IT WORK?!"

his luck is the worst like man will be trying his hardest and then get jumped by someone for fun

excels in those sniper games tho

might actually get into debts to buy items so keep an eye out for it

is also a sore loser but unlike yeonjun he won't coax you into playing another game with you

more like bully the fuck out of you to get into another game with him until he beats you

you can't even escape him by pretending to lose

he's got hawk eye

like suddenly developed a conscience

this man's evolution is questionable

good luck to you

TAEHYUN

best option tbh

like I see no (apparent) red flags

but I don't think he's that into gaming a lot so you'd have to drag him into it.

I don't think he understands the rules either but unlike yeonjun he's more discreet about it because he doesn't wanna get bullied

improvise, improve, eliminate

im sure it didn't make sense but literally ends up learning about the game as he goes and he actually gets good at it

like slightly, but it's the effort that counts

"so which team am I on?"

"taehyun you died."

his teammates will actually help with shit and item

acts like he's fine in the games when he gets his ass beat while in reality he's not fine

acts like he doesn't give a fuck about winning or losing

but he does indeed give many fucks about it

will improve his gaming skills to avenge his bruised ego

if provoked enough , he will track your ip address down and doxx you.

HUENING KAI

It will be a fun time for sure

maybe not the best player but it's the effort that counts right

he's all cute and nice when yall are playing civil games like animal crossing looking at each others island and stuff

but nay nay dont fall for his sweet looking dumb smile

go into shit like among us or other brutal games

man's gonna backstab u in a second

hes so shady but like unlike soobin he isn't quite successful at it

like cheats whenever cheating is possible in anyway

but hes just such a poor executioner of it

its actually pitiful

gets you wondering should i just die for his sake

loves gaming but maybe not the best at it lmao

he's so cute so it's always such a good time with him

"I will report you if you talk about shoving someone's bead into a horse's backside again tho, animals have the right too! what if the horses don't like pegging?"

doesn't give you a headache like the rest of them except for a few bald stops you get by ripping your own hair while stopping him from blind siding you

bombastic side eye for the amount of times he tried to go behind your back tho

he's actually a good player to have on your team tho

© to itgirlgyu. feedbacks are always appreciated!!!!

#txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt fluff #txt au #txt funny #txt reactions #txt crack #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu reactions #soobin reactions #soobin scenarios #yeonjun reactions #yeonjun scenarios #taehyun scenarios #taehyun reactions #huening kai reactions #huening kai scenarios #yeonjun fluff #soobin fluff #taehyun fluff #beomgyu fluff #huening kai fluff #txt headcanons #kpop crack #kpop headcanons #taehyun imagines #beomgyu imagines #soobin imagines #yeonjun imagines #huening kai imagines

[zappedbyzabka]

In TKK era, after every thing is over does Kreese have a moment of clarity that he fucked up? Does he keep track of Johnny? Or does he assume Johnny is safe in that big house in Encino Hills, not realizing that Sid's will kick him out as soon as he can? Does he panic when he loses track of him? Does Kreese find Johnny ? Does he grab him probably drunk off his head, takeshim back to his apartment to sleep it off? Desperately strategizing for a way forward. It's not the way he'd hoped to get Johnny in his apartment, definitely not the way to get him into his bed. But he sleeps on his couch, or in a chair, ready to get him water, or an aspirin or a snack when Johnny wakes up. He'd thought maybe it'd be nice to make a quiet home one day. A simple home. Johnny's suspicious when he wakes up, hungover and tired, maybe he doesn't have anywhere else to go and Kreese jumps at the chance to offer, seems real genuine, to let Johnny stay. And he does, but he keeps his guard up. But he's lonely and eventually he agrees to go with Kreese to a bar, they have dinner and play pool and it's almost like it didn't happen. Almost like Johnny had expected it to be. Kreese's hand falls on his shoulder, close to his neck though and he flinches and then he waits for Kreese to berate him. And Kreese almost does, old habits are hard to break, but that's his fault. So he doesn't, because that hurts Kreese's heart, drags up all the sour feelings of having pushed it too far. So he tries something instead. Asks after Johnny's love life. Johnny is so relieved not to have to defend himself, that there's no fight over his flinch that he thinks maybe Kreese truly has changed and they talk. He'd had Ali but then hadn't and then...well. Things weren't so great. Kreese gets that, mentions that in the army, in the war, sometimes a bud would help a bud out. It's thrown out like it's nothing in the bar watching a game eating peanuts but Johnny is still stunned. Especially with the nonchalant way Kreese asks if he's ever tried it. If he wants to? And Johnny thinks of the cobras, thinks of Daniel and nods quietly into his beer. When they go home Kreese offers to get him off. Least he can do he says and Johnny believes him, especially when Kreese sucks him off. But once doesn't seem to be enough. He's got more apologizing to do and he asks what else Johnny's tried, not much he realizes, and then Kreese has got him all curled up, almost a stretch he remember from the dojo, legs all spread and his toes almost touching the mattress above his head, but able to watch as Kreese eats him out, until he's practically sobbing. He tries to hide it. No flinching, no crying, all banned in the dojo. But Kreese likes it, likes that Johnny's crying from pleasure from his tongue, opening up for him the way he'd hoped. He decides he'll do that more. Whenever he can. Hell, Johnny can sit on his face whenever he wants, he decides. Maybe he'll buy him cute outfits. But he has to explain something and he pulls his tongue out and looks over and down at Johnny. "Is this the dojo?" "Huh?" "Is this the dojo Johnny?" "No." "The rules in the dojo don't apply at home do they? Not with just us. Let me hear you cry when you come." And he does. And Kreese keeps going. Tongue and mouth and fingers until Johnny looks at him with glassy teary eyes and asks if he's going to put it in. Kreese declines. Even though he's hard as hell and doesn't remember the last time he was so hard. No, not yet. And not the next time. He knows how to play his games. He's got a strategy. He'll wait till Johnny's begging for it and then he'll ensure it's so good, that every night Johnny will ask him for it, and he won't stop until Johnny can't come any more, and maybe past that, until he can't move, and then he'll know, when he gets up and goes about his day, exactly where his golden boy is.

YASSSS anon. im so sorry for the late reply. I am awful😩.

He keeps track of Johnny because he didn’t have much to do without Cobra Kai, he realized. He got thrown into the war with no time for hobbies—no time for much at all. Before that, he was trying to pay the bills, and that's where his days went, but there was Betsy. He was sure he knew what true love was when he met her—innocent and beautiful inside and out.

Then again, he felt that way when he met Terry too. The man who shook in his boots and was thin as a stick. Pissing his pants and sniveling in that cage, making Kreese feel so much pity for him that he got up and put his life on the line for him. He had no mom, and he had no girl to go home to. Nothing. 

But he realized nothing didn’t have to be death, but freedom. A strength—absolutely no one and nothing to hold him back. He despised his sergeant, so he killed him, and that felt like breaking a chain.

Cobra Kai became his everything, and he cared for it like it was his baby. He kept it clean and bright, full of life. That’s how he shows his love. 

Then there was the boy who had the same name as him—lanky with a rainy-day demeanor and bags under his eyes. Demure and knobby- kneed like a lamb just out of the womb. Kreese felt protective indifference then. Perhaps he’d been a little impatient to make Johnny progress; making him train for hours every day after class was probably too much for a little boy. Kreese was only trying to help him get better—in case someone attacked his mother. In case the stepdad he cried about decided to try more than verbal abuse on him, in case some older kid tried to steal his headphones again, He was trying to raise him, but he was never a father to Johnny. He was so precocious, and his crush on Kreese was terribly apparent; he was sure everyone must have known.

He always cared about Johnny, he refused to let anyone say otherwise. However he could allow, he loved him. Loves him. He wanted to be someone he could rely on and always fancied himself a steady rock; he supposes putting someone in a headlock and not letting go until they’re fighting for their life isn’t the best, maturest way to do that.

He freaked out, he does that. He has flashbacks and nightmares and fits of blind rage.

He couldn’t handle the thought of losing his dojo. Its integrity down the drain. He was seeing red, panicked about Cobra Kai's loss, and wanting his champion all to himself—it made him vicious.

Who the hell was Johnny to be acting merciful to that waste of space runt? Who was he to accept defeat so easily? 

He didn’t know how to tame Johnny anymore when he was seventeen, nearly eighteen, and defiant. snapping, “Screw you.” at him with his bruised face flushed in emotion. He had never dared to bite the hand that fed him before then, and it’s engraved in Kreese’s mind. He was perfect. 

He always enjoyed it when Johnny fought back to some extent. He loved it when Johnny hurt him too much. Encouraged him to go all out and attack him when sparring—kick and punch him, get his face if he can. (Who cares if any of it is illegal contact?) That was all under order.

Johnny must have forgotten he was still small. Taller than other boys his age but an ant under Kreese’s shoe. He showed him that.

He never contacted Kreese again.

Finding Johnny swaying on his feet outside a bar was a blessing. He looked so vulnerable and sad—so easy to snatch up, he might as well have worn a red hood and been carrying goodies. Anyone could have taken him. Kreese’s mouth watered at just the freckles on Johnny’s shoulders the closer he got—even some spattered on his cheeks, but few. The smell of alcohol was so potent that he could taste it.

Johnny fell into him and allowed himself to be put in Kreese’s car. He slurred something about being sorry to the “taxi driver” because he doesn’t have any more money with real guilt before drifting off, sniffling like a bunny.

Kreese knows himself. He knows men. They take pretty things and violate them. There’s a root of evil there that Johnny never really had. He hurt people, but could never tear away from that desire to be good in the back of his head. He’s soft inside, and Kreese tried to make him callous like himself.

“Ingénue,” Terry muttered, staring at a photo of Johnny a few days before the tournament. 

“He kicks high?”

“Yes, real high. He’s a lot like you with that. Used to cry a lot like you did too.”

Terry shrugged dismissively. “When are you going to let me meet him and see how flexible he is myself?”

Never. He never let him.

He’d have had the same vile thoughts Kreese had about the expanse of that sun-kissed skin and long lashes shading big eyes. He’d wonder if those pouty lips were the same color as that surely sweet boycunt in his jeans.

Johnny is a snake as much as he’s the golf club you use to kill one. Every time he walks past Kreese in the apartment and gives him an eyeful of that round ass in his tiny briefs is another swing to the skull. Every time he falls asleep in Kreese’s lap, so warm and clingy. Every day Kreese wakes up to the smell of bacon and eggs and a plate ready for him on the table, and Johnny’s red cheeks with a shy pride in his gaze while Kreese eats every single bite. Even with all Johnny’s defiance, Kreese is metaphorically dead at this point.

When he’s got Johnny laid out like a sacrifice and supper on their shared bed wearing the outfit Kreese bought him, he licks and worships his little hole lazily, like the world could never end. Eats him like the birthday cake he never had growing up. It takes every bit of military discipline in him every day to not bend him over and take him. It’d be easier to give him everything he wants without making either of them admit anything.

But he can make his boy wail and arch his back like a bow with just a single hand.

He never let Johnny touch his dick or see it. He pulled back and waved away those grabby hands from his clothes. Steeled himself whenever he’d get a frown in return. He figured the less he gave him, the more likely Johnny would be to come begging on his hands and knees. 

But then he let Kreese cover his mouth with his hand and wrap the other around his throat while Johnny rubbed on whatever part of him he could. That was a big, big step forward.  Johnny had said he didn’t want to be afraid of it anymore. He didn’t want it (him) to have that power over him. Demanded that Kreese restrict his breathing, a fire in him Kreese was glad to see.  He’d fuck him with the trauma he gave him if he asked.

After the first panic and useless struggle, Johnny started to get off on it, or maybe he already was. He squirmed and got so worked up that he wasn’t able to stop his hips from bucking against air as he was strangled until Kreese practically laid on top of him. Made choked sounds behind his palm and looked up at him, all helpless and needy, ever the depraved little soldier. Johnny had earned the privilege, so Kreese made an exception and let him watch him wring one out the next night. See him naked instead of keeping himself covered up like he had been since he decided to work Johnny up to a breaking point.

And that’s how they end up with Johnny set out on the coffee table, the heels of his feet hooked on the edge, and his puckered pussy on display for inspiration. Kreese’s stolen shirt hanging off his shoulders, and his pink lips parted as if he’s in awe as he watches the up and down of Kreese’s fist on his prick. His own cute cock dripping at the sight, pearly wetness dribbling down flushed flesh.

“Nice to have that pretty thing crying for me. You need something, don't you, dollface?”

Johnny nods quickly.

“Didn’t I teach you to speak up?”

He swallows. “Not to you.”

“No? Bullshit. You’re always running your mouth.”

“So are you, Dickhead.

“Attaboy.” Kreese leans in. “Is there something specific you have in mind? Something you’re dying to have?” 

The younger man ducks his head. “Stop messing with me.”

Kreese sighs in exaggerated disappointment and gets on his knees, grabbing the back of Johnny’s to pull him closer to the edge so he can burrow his face between those peachy cheeks. He digs his tongue into that delicious heat and suctions his mouth on it, shaking his head back and forth like a lion with fresh meat. 

Stubble scraping Johnny, who tangles his fingers in Kreese’s honeyed curls. 

Johnny used to dream about things like this and wake up ashamed and wet all over—images of hairy hands, deep voices, and barrel chests pressed to his. “Just like that—mmm—just like that.”

Kreese stuffs his tongue in as far as it’ll go, curling it and thrusting it in and out, circling the ring occasionally.

He spanks a cheek harshly, then again on the other, smirking at Johnny’s groan and grabbing two handfuls to jiggle, sitting back with a string of spit connecting his bottom lip to the soaked opening. He caresses it with his thumb.

“Yeah? You like that? Want something a little thicker?”

Johnny sniffles, tears welling prettily. “I want you to stop pulling away.”

Kreese ignores that, probing him with his calloused thumb and tugging down on the rim a little. “Did. You. Like. That?” 

Johnny’s foot slips off the table, and he grips the edge. “Yes, sir…” 

Kreese smiles with warm satisfaction in his chest. “That’s my boy.” He kisses the inside of Johnny’s thigh. “Taste like heaven and look it.” Kiss. “Always make me so fucking hard.” Another kiss. “and I belong in jail for all the vile things I’m gonna do to you.” 

For all the things I have already done to you.

He throws Johnny’s calves over his burly shoulders and sticks another rough digit inside that scorching canal, diving back in for more, spreading his fingers to try and sneak his tongue right in the middle.

Johnny keens, arms tired from holding himself up but too desperate to see Kreese’s eyes and figure out what he’s thinking about at the moment. 

Johnny always came second. Cobra Kai’s gone. Should he ask, “What do you love most now?”

Hot slickness swirls vigorously between his legs, and everything melts away. 

“Kreese,” He whimpers, yanking the older man’s hair, watching his sparse lashes flutter as if he likes the pain.

Kreese falters—wary of pushing too hard and causing Johnny to run off like before. He attempts to move away, but Johnny keeps him there with his heels digging into his back. “Where are you going?” He whines.

Kreese goes still, cock twitching as he continues to massage Johnny with his talented tongue and an aching jaw. Like he’s submitting. Who else can say they’ve had him like this? Subdued happily. Suffocating as he deserves.

Johnny rolls his hips and rides, going until Kreese’s lapping slows and his lungs burn, pushing him to his limit because he can. Like Johnny was always forced to.

He pulls him back to admire his saliva and lube-slick face—giving the impression he really could have been indulging himself in some drenched pussy. It gets Johnny off like nothing else to see him like that. He cups Kreese’s cheek. “John,”

Kreese’s brows furrow as he heaves. Johnny’s never called him that before. He’s only ever caught him tracing the name scribbled on old photos, gazing at them with too much understanding and too much care.

“You’re sweet as pie, cowboy,” he responds simply, and Johnny grins, his angelic face lighting up as he leans down to kiss him tenderly. Too gentle. Kreese prefers the feist, the hurricane of feelings turned physical. Yet he needs to have that mushy side of Johnny, so he’ll learn to be gentler too. More than he has been.

But right now, he needs him kicking and screaming.

Kreese nudges Johnny’s legs off his shoulders and grabs his little waist to heft him up, laughing at his surprised yelp and throwing him on the couch like a ragdoll before getting on top of him.

“Put your ankles together and up.”

Johnny does as he’s told, biting his lip as his ex-mentor then grasps his ankles in one big hand over his own thinner ones and folds him in half, his knees now pressed to his chest and his legs as straight as they’ll go. It hurts a little—a small strain for the proud look on the older man.

Kreese prods Johnny’s rosy hole.

“Gonna play with your sweet little cunt till you squirt all over yourself like a mutt in heat.” He rasps, sinking two fingers into the blond roughly, liking how he squeals.

“Yes!”

Johnny’s almost at his end. Almost ready to give in and beg. He wants to be used by Kreese. Rammed into like a toy. Just the thought of it makes him clench up excitedly.

Kreese buries his fingers to the knuckle and twists his wrist, stroking the spot that makes Johnny shake. “Hah! Oh. Pleasepleaseplease—”

“Nasty little bitch. Look at the mess you’re making.”

Johnny looks down, his ears growing hotter at the sight of pre cum in small droplets on his stomach. “Give me another, c’mon. Stretch me out, I can take more.” 

He wants to prove himself. He wraps an arm around the back of his legs to keep himself presented.

“Relax. Let me do what I want to you.” Kreese orders, pressing in a third finger insistently and plunging them in and out with no remorse.

Johnny arches his back and digs his nails into Kreese’s thigh, leaving crescent-shaped marks that will last for days.

“Give it to me, pussycat, come on. Show me how you love it when I play with your hungry cunt. Thank me for it.” 

Johnny’s jaw goes slack, and he cries out, twitching as he spills on himself with the realization that even his body can’t help but listen to his old sensei. “Thank you!”

Kreese stares down at him appreciatively.

“Good fucking boy.” He praises. The fact that Johnny’s legs are still obediently where they were put not going unnoticed.

He doesn’t stop fingering him. “That all you got?”

Johnny sobs and turns his head to hide.

“What a diva,” He huffs, rutting his cock against Johnny’s plump asscheek. “Be a good girl and open your legs now.”

The blond obeys sluggishly, languid as he clutches his knees and spreads himself wide. “Yes, s-sir…” he hiccups.

Not a single protest.

Kreese searches for that sweet spot again, grinning like a shark when he finds it and starts massaging it relentlessly. 

Johnny jerks. “A-ah! Ah!”

“Does it hurt?” He hovers over him, grabbing Johnny’s face and squishing his cheeks together. He whimpers, shaking his head, a small but lovely gold curl moving with it. 

Kreese raises his brows, hand sliding down to grip his neck. “No?”

Johnny wheezes and shakes his head again. Gazing up at him with shimmering eyes.

“Then I’ll do it until it does.”

The younger man’s face crumbles, a devastated noise leaving him. “Please, just…just—“

“Just what? Just keep going? Just stop?” Kreese coaxes.

Silence.

He pulls his fingers out to scoop up the milky fluid on Johnny’s belly and taste it, never breaking eye contact. “Don’t be so troublesome, Lawrence.”

“Oh god. Fuck me.” Johnny breathes.

There it is.

“Wasn’t I?” He teases, adoring the flustered expression he gets in return. His boy is absolutely delectable when he’s embarrassed. 

“Not…not with your fingers. You know, man.”

“Specify for me, exactly, what you want me to fuck you with, if not my fingers.”

Johnny glowers—but it's weak combined with his overall debauchery. Lashes wet and sticking together, tears streaking his cheeks and a small bit of clear snot leaking from his elegant nose. 

He just looks precious. Why did Kreese ever feel the need to hurt him so brutally? What if…he still likes hurting him?

He fondles one of Johnny’s thick thighs, striking one, then caressing the hot skin. “Maybe I’ll make you press these together so I can have some fun. I think all the pancakes have gotten to them, babydoll, and I can’t say I’m upset.”

Johnny's jaw ticks. “No…your dick.” 

“Hm? What was that?”

“Your fucking dick! I want you to put it in me, you lousy bastard!”

Kreese almost pats himself on the back. What a victory. What a high. Having this catty thing shouting at him for his dick.

“Or maybe I should stuff that disrespectful mouth since you forgot to ask Daddy nicely.” Johnny looks distinctly interested in that, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek. “After I plow your pretty little ass into the couch,"

Johnny closes his eyes in relief, going boneless.

Kreese spits into his hand, which was already damp with sweat, and slicks up his dick, lowering his head to spit on Johnny’s open hole and enjoy the way it gets swallowed up.

He slightly dips the tip of his length in, enough to make Johnny shudder and hold his breath. He’s just torturing them both at this point. This has all been a long time coming. Inevitable. “Tell me you want it.”

Johnny peers up at him, dewy and captivating. “I want it. I want you to fuck me, sir.���

“Yeah, you do. I bet you just can’t wait anymore.”

Kreese pins him down by his hips and continues to press in, cramming in half an inch before Johnny tightens up instinctively and winces. He feels like he’ll be split open—and he wants it so badly.

“Easy does it; there you go.” Kreese murmurs like he’s in a trance, easing in the whole inch and another half when the smaller man manages to loosen up.

Johnny’s toes curl. “Kreese!” His heart thumps in his chest like a squirrel’s. “Oh god, are you real?  It just keeps going."

“I’m not even halfway in.” Kreese chuckles breathlessly. “Call me my real name again.”

He bends down to nose at Johnny’s neck, inhaling the musk on him and feeling his dick pulse at the scent. He wants to lick him everywhere like a goddamn lollipop. “Fuck,”

“John…” Johnny nuzzles against him, pleasure building the deeper Kreese gets. It’s like he can feel every vein and ridge on that thick cock. He thinks it’s in his guts, he can’t possibly imagine how he lived without this before when it fits so well with everything else inside him.  “Break me. Break me with your cock. Do it." He babbles.

“Jesus, doll. You’re gonna take it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna. I’m gonna take it, I’ll be so good. I’ll make you feel so good.”

“Oh, I have no doubt you’ll feel as good as you taste. Open up for me. Stay open.”

“Yeah, yes. Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes sir!

Kreese lifts his head, and they catch each other’s lips. He drinks down Johnny’s blubbering until he’s filled him to the brim, hips flush to his ass.

He straightens up slowly and runs his hands down Johnny’s body, pressing a hand to his tummy and wishing he could feel his cock through it. See a clear bump to make him understand just how deep Kreese is. Make him feel owned by the space he’s made for himself in the most private parts of him.

“Tell me how it feels, sugar.” He turns his focus to where they’re connected, slipping out just a bit to see the way Johnny’s delicate pucker spasms like it doesn’t want him to go, and his face flash with hazy panic. “You took all of it. You were born for this. Crafted for my cock, aren’t you, kid?”

Johnny shivers all over. Nothing behind his red-rimmed eyes, like he’s gone to another planet. Dumbed down and high on it. So fucking hot and tight inside.

Kreese slaps him across the cheek, hard enough to sting. Johnny just licks his puffy lips and blinks at him like a happy cat.

“Answer me.”

“I was made for you to fuck me, sir.” 

Everything is fuzzy, and that felt good to say. The picture of his mentor’s blissed face above him is unreal. Older or not, his heart would still burn with painful fondness at the sight of him however he changed.

“You’re a little slow there, baby. Just need to get your ass stuffed and you turn into a brainless floozy for me, hm?” He gruffs, pressing his lips to the middle of Johnny’s tits. Flattening his tongue there and slithering it to his nipple, flicking it, then closing his mouth over it to suckle. He leaves no more room for adjustment before he starts slamming into him over and over. 

“Uh huh! Oh, my god. Oh fuck. Please!”

He moves his attention to Johnny’s other pec to leave evidence on that one too. 

One day he’ll take Johnny to the mountains—after he convinces him to move there. A cottage far away. He can always borrow money from Twig to get one built. Which mountains is the question? He’s sure Johnny would be happy on their very own patio with a view of something wild and alive like him.

Johnny places a hand on Kreese’s chest and buries his fingers in the thick fur there, tugging it painfully in a way that gets Kreese pounding into him violently, like he’s taking his request to break him seriously, biting into the soft part of his breast.

He hisses, gritting his teeth and trying to meet Kreese’s thrusts. Scratching down his chest to make welts, brain floating higher each time the older man hits his prostate. Sick sounds of squelching and the creaking couch—which threatens to skid if Kreese gets any rougher—filling the room.

“Who ruined you? Who’s breaking in this virgin pussy?”

He knows he isn’t exactly a virgin, but isn’t it great to pretend?

No response.

He wraps a hand around Johnny's throat again, and Johnny grasps his thick forearm with both his hands, making no move to stop him. “You need to start answering me, or I’m going to have to discipline you a lot more. Might even pull out and spank you raw." Like he’d ever pull out right now.

“No…please!” Johnny protests, face glowing redder. A pitiful look on it that Kreese will die thinking about. His dick can't get any harder, and he refuses to cum this early. 

“Then answer my question: Who popped your cherry?” He Leans his weight into it a little.

“You. Y–fuck—you did.” The blond croaks, feeling ready to burst. A mess of sweat and tears and his own cum.

“I did what?” Kreese squeezes tighter just to be mean, just to watch that pink tongue peek out for a gasp that won't come. Johnny likes it if his swollen prick bobbing adorably is anything to go by.

His lips move but he can’t speak, and he tenses up the longer he’s choked, still doing nothing to stop it even as his vision starts to blur.

Kreese only lets go when Johnny goes cross-eyed and limpish. 

Johnny takes in desperate, rattling inhales, still getting fucked into so forcefully that his chest bounces, and he feels like one of those double-D having chicks that complain about back pain.

“You sure you didn’t give that prima a piece of you? Worthless Wimp thought he had a chance; did you give him one? Do some charity?”

He still wants to kill LaRusso. Rip him limb from limb, to be honest. He’s kept up sometimes, wondering if he and Johnny met up at any point during the times he wasn’t keeping track—if Daniel touched what’s his after destroying his life. The thought of Johnny defending him is sickening, but he knows he just might.

“Wha—? N-no.”  But he’s thought about it. He wanted it.

“And our silly Cobras? Did you reward them for being such heroes or are they still below me?”

He knows he’s being risky. Johnny was all but a momma duckling to those boys and was sweet on them. It was always more handy than annoying, but he couldn’t help but rile them up. Remind them that he could say whatever, and they couldn't say anything because he’s fucked in the head. He’s sure they got even closer after the incident, and it's hard to believe they never took advantage.

“Do-ah!- don’t talk about them. Don’t talk about them like that. Fuck you.” Johnny fusses, kicking his shoulder. Cloud of lust briefly lifting just to admonish him.

Kreese flips him over before he can say anything else, shoving back inside and getting right back to work. 

Johnny pants, shoulders trembling. Tears and spit soaking the armrest. He’s mewling so pathetically that you’d think he was being attacked. Kreese reaches over and jams two fingers past the seam of his lips to pacify him. 

“Just lay there and take it, baby. I’m gonna leave you spilling with it. Ha, Maybe I’ll even knock you up if I do it often enough.”

Johnny hums around his mouthful dopily, overstimulation making him feel like he’s buzzing all over. 

So much better than a tobacco zing.

Kreese watches a line of drool spill onto the armrest and feels it go down his arm

“Yeah, that’s right, make a mess. Such a sloppy fucking whore for my cock that you drool like a puppy no matter what.”

Johnny’s slutty moans vibrate through his fingers, making all sorts of things go through Kreese’s mind—like what he'd look like gagging on him with his nose smushed against his Kreese's hairy stomach.

He's right there. Right there and ready to jump off the edge, he just needs a little more.

He abandons Johnny’s mouth to hold his clammy nape and rock into him faster. “What are you, Johnny?”

“I’m your boy.” Johnny slurs like he was the night Kreese swept him up and away from the world. like he's drunk and doesn’t know what he’s saying at all but means it. 

Your.

“Mine.” Kreese nearly growls, grabbing one of Johnny’s elbows and his jaw, yanking him back against his chest to spear him as deep as possible and get in every drop. Humping into him wildly as he reaches his climax, grunting like an animal. 

He saves the happily violated look at Johnny’s face to memory, looking down to see the wet spot Johnny left on the couch as soon as he comes back to his senses.

“Oh. You liked that I came inside you so much that you ruined my couch. What a perfect thing. My little creampuff—“

Johnny breaks away from him with an annoyed sound and falls flat on his belly with his feet up. Kreese just scoots down to rest his cheek on his ass and lap at the bright handprint he left. “I heard laying like that after getting bred is a surefire way to get pregnant.” He mumbles.

Johnny huffs, an image of what his and Kreese’s kids might look like crossing his mind and making him feel such longing that he wants to drown in a pool. He shouldn’t love him, but Johnny would love a stain on the floor for staying.

“You might have to try again just in case it didn’t take.” He purrs, leaning on his forearms and peeking back at Kreese enticingly. Reminding him of his stamina.

Well, if he wants to give Johnny a decorated left hand, then he’ll have to keep up.

He pushes the flannel up and mouths the dip of Johnny’s back, crawling up to mount him again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

#kreerence #nsft #tw age gap #tw feminization #tw spit #I just adore that Martin called Billy a cowboy #Brief daddy kink #Kreese is into it and Johnny just assumed he was being weird #Liked it too tbh #john kreese #He loves it

[draggged-leer]

SEE YOU AGAIN?

Jake mason x Michael yew

Timeline — during the battle of manhattan/TLO

_________

Right after Percy divided the campers to go their separate ways, Michael Yew the new head counselor of cabin 7, was watching his younger siblings hug their friends goodbye and wishing them luck as some of the Apollo kids would stay behind to help heal the wounded.

When Michael was about to gather his siblings up, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He was about to shove the person away until the random kid spoke.

“Don’t be stupid, I can’t lose you either.” Michael turned to look who was speaking to him, it was his boyfriend, technically secret boyfriend since they haven’t came out yet but it was obvious they have a thing for each other.

“When am I ever stupid?” Michael said, Jake gave him that look.

“Fine yeah whatever I won’t, and don’t think your losing me, I’ll be that annoying mosquito that won’t leave you alone, I’m always gonna be by your side, just not in the bathroom and when you’re sleeping or that’ll be creepy.” Michael grinned, Jake rolled his eyes and shook his head before pulling Michael into a hug.

“Just please be careful, for me?” Michael blushed, jake always had Michael on chokehold every time he did those puppy dog eyes, and would they work on Michael? Yes, all the time.

“Fine, just stop doing those eyes.” Jake smiled. “Same goes to you, be safe.” Michael said, jake nodded.

“I will. Now we have to get going.” Jake started walking away Michael stopped him.

“Jake!” Michael yelled to get his attention

“Yeah?” Jake said turned around to see a mischievous smile on Michael face.

“Can I get a kiss?” Michael said as he walked closer to Jake with that flirtatious look on his face. Jake rolled his eyes at Michael, with a small smile, then leaned down to kiss Michael, it was a short kiss.

“Man, can you make it last forever?” Michael said as Jake pulled back, Jake looked at him confused.

“What do you mean if I can make it last forever?”

“It was too short, I need it longer.” Michael said as his cheeks grew pink.

Jake smirked, it was funny seeing Michael ask for more since he wasn’t really big in physical touch. “And why would I do that?” Jake said as he started fixing Michael’s hair.

“Im about to go to War, Jake. I need something to keep me motivated.” Michael cupped Jake’s face and making him lean down to be face to face. “And kissing you is what keeps me on track.”

Michael was always the flirty one, he would always get Jake flustered, occasionally Jake would flirt back and he found laugh every time he would see how Michael’s face would get, his cheeks go bright red, his eyes would dilate and he would sometimes stutter over his own word even if it was just a simple pick up line.

Jake kissed him, again. This time a little longer, he still had his hands in Michael’s hair as Michael had his hands holding Jake’s face.

“Now why would you want me to kiss you? Like in public where anyone can see?”jake said as he fixed his posture.

Michael sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know if I’ma see you again, and so I just want to experience that one last time.” Michael grabbed Jake’s hand and squeezed it.

“I love you.”

Jake felt like he was about to burst into tears, he didn’t know why Michael was talking like he was going to die, he couldn’t. They both were going to stay head counselors together, and Michael would never let 13 year old Will take all the responsibility now. So Jake just sighed.

Jake grabbed Michael’s left hand and pulled up to his lips before leaving a small peck on it.

“I love you too.”

#brb crying my eyes out rn #I really need more fanfiction of them #should I post this on Ao3???? #jake mason x michael yew #michael yew #michael yew x jake mason #jake mason #pjo #the last olympian

[strawhatsoraya]

Yo ! How are you doing ? :)

As an ADHD girl, I was wondering if I could request headcanons for Corazon, law and Luffy with a female SO who has ADHD (inattentive type) ?

To help you with it (especially if you are not familiar with it) my symptoms are :

-forgetting and loosing things constantly

-being overwhelmed when there's is too much things happening (especially at work), like multiple people talking close to me ect, If someone talks to me and there's someone else speaking loudly or close to me I won't be able to filter anything that's being said to me and I'll lag haha

- when I'm sitting I'm either constantly moving (fidgeting, scratching my skin all the time, looking around...) Or I'll look super calm and absent, zoning out completely and working on autopilot and just daydream constantly or planning stuff in my head

- I often get distracted during conversations, I think about something else and I'll miss half of what they were talking about. I'm either going to bid my head and deal with the little infos I got or ask "what is happening? What did you say?" Even though I was there looking at my friends the whole time and when they don't respond and move on I feel isolated :( I have two people close to me that often asks me if I understood everything and I often say no and they repeat, it helps me (but I know it's annoying to do so I don't expect it)

-I will often not look in someone's eyes when they are talking to me but looking around or let my eyes get lost in the void. I'm listening (if the conversation is short) and responding but idk why I won't look at you

- I actually harm myself fidgeting when I walk and scratch my leg with my shoes (I can't help it) and it gives me scares and I bleed :( (I'll try fidget toys and see if I can get over this)

-im so bad with time I constantly am paranoid of being late so I'm always one or two hours early at meetings because if I'm not too early I'm late, there's no I'm between (when I'm with my friends they must tell me to chill and that we will be on time if I follow their rythm and it helps)

-im afraid I'm being too obnoxious and childish sometimes :( so I often apologizes when I'm happy, (but recently I've been told I shouldn't because it's funny and it's nice to have some positive) example when I'm outside with people : "OH this is so pretty!", "It's so beautiful!", "Look at that tree ! So beautiful!!!" Every 10 seconds, jumping around ect. BUT with people I don't feel comfortable with or not enough I undereact to hide how easily excited I am to the point people think I'm not interested

I hope this helped! Thanks 😊

Hey! I'm doing well for a Sunday lol. Thanks for sending in your request. As someone who struggles with ADHD I totally related to your symptoms lol. I constantly lose track of my belongings, and have the worst time management ever. I have like 100 alarms on my phone and somehow manage to snooze them all. It's a problem. I know. Anyway, I wrote a few drabbles for you for this cute little headcanon. I hope you enjoy!

Corazon

 eyes that (don’t) commit

He hadn’t noticed at first. It was a truth he’d be too ashamed to admit. He hadn’t noticed the way your eyes always flit from spot to spot–quick as a butterfly, your attention always split in between worlds. He hadn’t noticed the way you always responded a beat or two too slow, or the way you’d repeat his last words like a parrot–a cute one–as if that would help jog your memory; or perhaps you were stalling, trying to buy time.

He never really understood why; truthfully he didn’t see a reason for it.

You were you, and that was fine. You laughed at his jokes, and had once, very boldly, with your whole chest made fun of his laugh only to confess very quickly that you loved it too; loved how it made you laugh, and what more could Cora ask for?

Your laughter followed his own wherever it went. It didn't matter if your eyes didn’t. He knew your heart was with his.

Law

where focus goes energy flows

At first, it irritated him. You were unable to follow through for lengthy conversations. He’d be staring at a book, expecting you to understand his instructions. When he’d look up, you’d be staring blankly, a little smile on your lips. 

It was both infuriating, and endearing.

You always seemed embarrassed after, deeply apologetic. You’d say the word over and over and over, like it would ease his heart. A ‘sorry’ did nothing for him. The expression on your face, the pained look behind your eyes was infinitely more worrisome than any bit of conversation that you had missed.

How many before him had failed to understand you? How many had turned your heart away because they lacked a certain kind of tolerance? He couldn’t tolerate the mere idea of it.

The day it finally clicked, he found you in a corner of the Polar Tang, as if you were trying to remember where you were headed. He chuckled beside himself, and gathered you in his arms, squeezing you tightly.

“I really hate it when you say: huh,” he could hear your voice now, see you blinking. It made the corner of his mouth twitch. “But it’s okay. You can keep saying it as many times as you need.”

Luffy

what a plot twist you were

The Sunny could be so loud sometimes; in so  many ways. You could handle the chaos most of the time. You thrived in it, almost, the way there were always so many conversations going on at once. It did; however, become inconvenient when you were trying to pay attention to your boyfriend.

You were both sitting on the head of the Sunny, ocean vast and wide ahead of you. You knew you had been observing the rippling water, the way the waves became white and foamy as the ship sailed on. Then what had happened? You’re not sure.

It’s Luffy’s pinger poking your cheek that brings you back. You turn your head slowly to look at him, eyes wide, head empty. He smiles widely at you, a small wheezy laugh shaking his shoulders. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks brightly, eyes crinkling at the corners. You return his smile. This is what you loved about Luffy; this and many things. The easy way he made you feel like you belonged, right there next to him. No judgment. No pretenses. 

“I don’t have any. Do I still get a penny?” you ask him. Luffy’s chuckles become softer, a little mischievous. His eyes narrow slightly, as he wrinkles his nose.

“How about a kiss?” he says and he leans to capture your lips with his.

#fic request #one piece headcanons #one piece hcs #donquixote rocinante #corazon x reader #corazon x you #one piece corazon #law x y/n #law x reader #law x you #one piece law #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n #luffy x you #one piece luffy #one piece fluff #luffy fluff #law fluff

[dotster001]

i am humbly asking for a type one match up for obey me. describe myself, you say? okay i can do that. i spend a lot of my time doing chores and lazing around on the internet. i'm a decent cook and i listen to video essays (usually philosophytube) when i'm doing house stuff. i am pretty indifferent to what happens around me in a day-to-day sense but i love losing myself in books or manwhas. i also have a lot of trouble keeping track of time and i cry when i get angry (this seemed important to bring up)

that's it im probably rambling BUT congrats on 1.5k !! <3

(I have seen your humble request, and have made you a match. I hope you enjoy this my dear!)

I match you with Leviathan.

Sometimes it's really hard to make a match, but this one I knew immediately. And you may have seen this one coming, but still 😂.

He's so pumped that you like to hang on the internet. He's probably a reddit troll, let's be real, so he enjoys just the two of you sitting quietly and doing your own thing on the internet, maybe leaning over to each other every once in a while to show the other a meme. The other brothers usually find you both cuddling and on a device. It's really cute, and Mammon may or may not have started a viral Devilgram account of just the two of you being cuddly together.

You're both giving Lucifer early gray hairs. Especially when you both get eachother a new book or a new manga, and it's ten hours later and neither of you have left his room. He definitely has concerns.

Though, those concerns are eased a little but when he sees you just cleaning Levi's room one day…doing chores? Without him even asking? Just for like…fun?

Levi:Would you like to stay for dinner?

Lucifer: Would you like to stay forever?

Leviathan, someone who can go off for hours about his favorite fandoms, and someone who has lived for eons…play any of your philosophy vids and he has OPINIONS. Unasked for opinions, usually, but it's cute to see him go off for hours about something that is essentially just…..subjective and subject to change depending on society and the audience. Honestly, there's plenty of times where he's waxing on about life's meaning as he mindlessly destroys bosses in a game. Meanwhile, you're just sitting there staring at him like, huh?

He gets really scared that he fucked up the first time you start crying in the middle of an argument.  He's one to talk considering how often he summons Lotan. When you've both cooled down later you'll have to explain that you just cry when you're mad, and You're not breaking up with him. Afterwards, it's easier. Turns out he also cries when he's mad, he's just trained himself over the years to wait until the person he's arguing with has left the room. 

You were chilling in your room when you heard your beloved boyfriend scream.

You rushed to his room in a panic to see him scrolling through a Devilgram account  that looked like pictures of the both of you snuggling and playing games, or reading, or looking at videos together. Pictures you didn't remember taking.

"MAMMON YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Levi screamed, not realizing you were standing right there.

"Levi!" You shouted covering your ears, and startling him back to reality.

"Sorry," he murmured, "but look what Mammon's been doing!"

You leaned in, trying not to get flustered by how nice your boyfriend's scent was, and began scrolling through the pictures.

"I mean, they are cute pictures…."

"Yeah, I guess," Levi pouted.

"And it looks like there's a lot of followers who want to see what the Avatar of Envy's everyday life is like…"

"Uh huh…"

"And most of the comments are pretty positive, they seem happy for us. And those that aren't are because they are envious that they don't have the Avatar of Envy," you said with a smirk as Levi started slumping in his chair and trying to hide his reddening cheeks. 

"Hmmm…. Well once we get those cameras he hid out of your room…. I'm gonna follow this account."

"Nooooooo……" he whined.

"What? My boyfriend's cute," you giggled. "Plus, we spend most of our time cuddling like this, so it's nice to have pictures."

"Stooooop," he whined, burying his face in his hoodie.

You sat in his lap to get a better look, and subconsciously ran your fingers through his hair as you scrolled through. 

"I'm making this one my lock screen."

"Please stooooop!"

#obey me #matchups #1.5k followers #obey me x reader #om! levi #leviathan x reader #levi x reader #om! leviathan

[desperate2lose]

hi, i’m Des. i haven’t had an @na/mi@ account since i was probably 14. that was the last time i was thin. all my life i have had weight issues, which i now know are due to PCOS (i’m ftm, have been for 12 yrs). the only 2 times i was ever thin were when i was 9 because i played sports, and when i was 14 because i was r3stricting. i’m 5’6, and i should be somewhere in the 120-150 range to be considered healthy. my lowest was 130 in high school. i’m currently at my highest, somewhere between 250-280. at about 18 i started ballooning, rapidly gaining weight no matter how much i worked out. since then i’ve rel@psed a couple times but it never stuck because i was so scared of being how i was in high school.

back then i was a zombie. due to mental health issues but also because of my ed. i was constantly tired and sad and i wanted to be a skeleton. i preferred being d3@d thin rather than fat and alive. i don’t feel that way anymore. i don’t want to be underw3ight, i don’t want to d!3. i want to be thin, i want to lose.

i’m aware that reverting to this lifestyle and r3stricting isn’t the healthy way to lose. however, it’s the only thing that has worked for me in the past. and i believe it’s the only way to regain my self control. i definitely b!nge sometimes for emotional reasons and i am not okay with that. whenever i’ve tried to diet in a “healthy” way, i fall off of it, or i don’t hold myself accountable enough.

i feel like i’m the type of person where if i say i’ll only eat 1200 cals it turns to 1500. if i say i’ll only eat omad it’ll end up being tmad. so my theory is that i have more than enough to lose, so if my goal is to eat n0thing, i’ll probably fail but still progress.

some things i’m trying to avoid:

• ending up malnourished

i plan on taking vitamins and if i do eat, making sure it’s the right type of food to get me thru my physical job/working out/life.

• my mental health declining

i’ve been working very hard on my mh and i’m not going to throw that away. so i’ll be tracking my moods and modifying what/how much i eat to keep myself stable.

• “⭐️vation mode”

i dont want to end up keeping my fat on because my body goes into this mode. so i’m gradually going to reduce my calories over probably 6 weeks.

• going under my ugw

if i even hit my ugw it’ll be a miracle, but i don’t want to become so @ddicted to r3stricting that i continue rather than maintaining if i eventually get there.

• my loved ones finding out

i plan on making it seem like im just changing my lifestyle. i don’t want to lie, so i’m hoping no one will notice.

• failing

pretty much the only perk of me being obese right now is that my doctor wants to put me on appetite suppressants. i just have to figure out which i’d rather have, do some bloodwork, and then i’m golden.

DISCLAIMERS

i’m not in the mindset to be swayed into not r3l@psing. so pls don’t try to convince me.

i’m not fatphobic. i don’t see anyone worth less no matter what their body looks like. this is solely about me and how i see myself.

i’m not into shaming/triggering each other on purpose to promote progress. you can do that but leave me out of it. if i see anyone insulting me, i’m blocking them, period.

i (in general, sometimes i have bad days) do not hate myself. i understand that this corner of the internet tends to have a lot of self hatred, sh, etc. that’s not where i am in life. this is strictly about w3ight to me. if you are sewer slidal, post sh, talk about sh, or constantly post self hatred, i probably won’t follow you. i hope you love yourself soon though.

any tips on how to lose/vitamins to take/recipes/etc are appreciated.

so thats basically it. im gonna be blogging some kind of mix between ana and d!et stuff. some healthy stuff. some not healthy stuff. i’m not trying to fit in any boxes, just trying to figure out what works for me because i am so fucking desperate to lose at this point.

#ed not ed sheeran #tw ed diet #ed not sherran #ed no sheeran #tw ana diary #calorie deficit diet #low cal diet #diet #ana rant #ana moots #ana meal #ana mention #ftm ed #weight loss #i wanna lose weight #i need to lose so much weight #need to lose more weight #thinspø #thin$po #help me find moots

[arsenicflame]

hi i'm really interested in space lesbians! where are they, who are they? how can i see them? (shows, games, books?) also what are you most excited about in s2 of ofmd?

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY

soooooo my space lesbian enthusiasm refers to 3 separate medias!! (it used to say gay space vikings bc that was an even more specific niche buuuut im way more into tihylttw these days s o) one day i am going to make a fuckin venn diagram of my girls because they all have so many similarities. (loki/sigyn and angela/sera are basically the same characters change my mind.)

this is about to get real long bc im unhinged about them <3 10/10 would talk about them all day if the communities were there

our first space lesbians are loki + sigyn from the bifrost incident! TBI is an album by the band the mechanisms which you can find wherever you listen to music (youtube here) its a norse mythology inspired rock/steampunk-esque album and it is SO GOOD- it takes place on a train in SPACE in the format of an incident investigation. its a story so you have to listen to the tracks in order :)

--

next up! this is how you lose the time war- our lesbians in this are called red + blue because we have deconstructed this trope to its most basic format at this point :') its a short book, and you may be familiar with it as it went viral from a trigun fan tweet a few months back. (my url (and sewing blog url) are actually references to a quote from this book!) you can get it wherever you get books and id recc the audiobook if youre into that i am also in possession of the pdf if you wantto try before you buy.

tihylttw is a story told through the exchange of letters between two agents on opposite sides of a war- it usually gets described as enemies to lovers but id personally use rivals as i think it describes them better. the book is known for being incredibly poetic and sometimes pretentious in its writing and i just think its the most beautiful thing ever. lesbians do it better

honestly theres nothing i could say for tihylttw better than it could say for itself, i just adore the universe theyve built and i want to KNOW MORE. i love you and i love you and i want to find out what that means together

--

saving the best for last is my girls angela + sera. the most of all time. nobody compares to them for me. they consume me

angela + sera are from marvel comics and you can find my complete reading list here, but if im talking about them positively, im usually talking about one of the titular Angela comics, and more often than not queen of hel.

honestly i love the angela comics so much that im making myself speechless trying to figure out where to start. Angela falls into the asgard side of marvel comics, though she is a lot more fluid in her affiliations, her whole thing being that she deals in deals- nothing for nothing everything has its price. she is at times described as emotionless and is generally quite a stoic character, especially around strangers. the major exception to this is her wife, sera. seras one of marvels few canon trans characters and i think she is just so wonderfully written. shes witty and cheeky and doesnt take shit from anyone, even when it gets her into trouble- and oh boy does sera find herself in some predicaments! the angela comics are often just as poetic as tihylttw for me, theyll drop an 'as long as you are with me, i am not afraid' and ill need to go smother myself in a pillow for a sec. in QOH they adopt a daughter who is Also a lesbian, shes an alternate version of leah of hel and i ALSO adore her.

im desperately trying to avoid plot points but god. the main arc is 21 issues of smooching Shakespearean space angels what more could you want?

(through sera & angela we get a lot of heven lore and honestly that could be its whole own thing for me im SO fascinated.)

my girls are currently in comic hell, i am praying they will get something good soon 🙏🙏

--

and what am i most excited about for season 2? can i just say izzy? can i just say anne + mary? dude im so ready for some lesbians you have no idea actually you probably have a very good idea if you made it this far down. im incredibly excited to be seeing izzy get a favourable arc this season, im really hoping to see him develop relationships with everyone else, see him grapple with feelings around ed (actually im really hoping he chooses not to forgive ed. for growth) im excited to see whats gonna go down with his leg, im excited to see wtf is going on w ed + stede because i have no idea what the continuity is at the moment, im just excited!!!!!! i honestly dont think theres anything im not excited about everything looks so good so far

#category 10 nyx autism moment #i wrote way more for the others than TBI but its not bc i like it less theres just. a lot less lore? #honestly we dont know much about loki/sigyn outside the incident on the train #and talking about that is just. tellin u the story #the angela section just turned into stream of consciousness im sorry i was tryin to avoid just. esplaining the plots ghfnjfnj #if u read angela and u like it please talk to me g o d i am full of thoughts about them #i was trying to be restrained here but but but #god sera sera i love her shes no damsel in distress shes in control of her own destiny!!! #angelas conviction on things!!! itd be easier to argue with a mountain!!!! #i want to know EVERYTHING i want to scream about everything god #[explodes] #i need to lie down now actually im insane about them #if the angela fandom was half as big as ofmd i would probably never consume a new piece of media again #instead i mentally debate myself as to whether the lines about the scent of battle/blood in her eyes are supposed to be read as a #trans women are real women commentary or a rebuttal of hevens misandrist tendencies (i like both) #(its fun to try and read into this i love sera i love how they handled her being trans i love heven lore i love the anchorites #[explodes harder] #ok stopping. to reiterate. category 10 nyx autism moment #nyxtalks #ask #i am so. so sorry

[mrbabygirl]

XieFan Fluff For My Sweeties

Wujiu is a very openly chaotic person but he and Bi’an are both flip on a dime type of people or one extreme or the other but for the most part they’re both very chill Wujiu just has the tendency to be a little shit more often and whenever Wujiu is unaccounted for there’s always a bit of worry in Bi’ans soul, even when he knows where he’s going if he acts a little too cocky he knows something is brewing in that head of his. Of course he has faith in Wujiu he’s very down to earth most of the time and level headed for the most part, Bi’an is just a worry wart. But sometimes… he does shadow him from afar just to quell his own mind.

Today he’s tracking him to spy on what he’s doing watching from the bushes putting on disguises trying to piece together what he’s up to and he’s taking notes and he’s looking at it like ‘What dastardly deed will he do with a teddy bear, roses, a candle, and a Valentine’s Day card? 🤔’ and it’s only then he realizes what was going on and then he’s suddenly panicking and depressed because he just ruined Wujius surprise for him… He feels like a jerk for also making the assumption Wujiu forgot about him and he comes clean and tells him and Wujius just like ‘…Bibi I’m meant to be the dumbass what the hell’ just teasing him but it doesn’t bug him he just thought it added to the affect ‘A-Jiu you’re not unintelligent, I am for thinking something so ridiculous!… what is this all for anyways?’ A confused look appears on Wujius face. ‘Bibi you did remember it was Valentine’s Day right?’

Crickets.

The longest pause known to man kind.

‘…FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK- A-JIU STAY THERE ILL BE BACK’ because he’d been so busy he DID forget and it honestly makes Wujiu lose his mind laughing because it’s so absurd like something from tv he’s not mad and even try’s telling him it’s fine but Bi’ans just like ‘IM DOING SOMETHING STAY THERE DONT MOVE ILL BE BACK’ and he’s gone for awhile and Wujius just hanging out with the plushies he bought Bi’an and suddenly Bi’an rushes in

And he ties a blindfold on him telling him near nothing and Wujius confused and starts trying to find out what’s happening and Bi’an is just like ‘You’ll see~🥰’ and Wujius just waiting in anticipation and usually something like this would trigger his fight but he trusts Bi’an with every fiber of his being so he’s cool with it even when they start walking in what sounds like a forest he feels nothing but safe with him.

Then through the blindfold he sees a few little lights and then Bi’an stops and takes it off him and they’re at Nantai Bridge and Bi’an decorated the area with fairy lights and flowers and anything that would make it even more magical and he guides him onto the bridge and he had set up a little picnic all of Wujius favorites! From wine to the spicy seasoning he loves and the fancy beef baozi he gets excited for it’s all for him! Then when done they just hold each other for awhile just talking and in the distance fireworks start going off but those were a pure coincidence but Bi’an takes advantage of Wujiu being distracted and leaves his touch for a moment and Wujiu immediately notices and he turns to see Bi’an kneeling with a little box and he’s like ‘Xie Bi’an whats wrong?’ Just oblivious to what’s happening and Bi’an just goes on about how much he loves him more than life itself and he’d do anything to see him smile and he wants to forever call that smile his and he opens the box and there’s a ring and it finally clicks with Wujiu what’s happening and he starts sobbing and falls no hug Bi’an because he’s so happy and Bi’an just waits until he’s calmed down enough and is like ‘Will you marry me?’ And Wujius like ‘YES YES YES YES YES YES YES’ and starts crying more again when he puts the ring on him and just cries a lot out of pure joy and then when he’s stopped crying he just starts tackle kissing Bi’an saying how much he loves him like Bi’an did to him earlier.

It’s the best Valentine’s Day of either of their lives! Perhaps it’s a good thing that Wujius such a little troublemaker.

#identity v #idv #fifth personality #identity 5 #identity five #identity v headcanons #idv headcanons #fifth personality headcannons #xie bian #fan wujiu #xie bian identity v #fan wujiu identity v #wu chang #wu chang identity v #xiefan #identity v xiefan #identity v fan wujiu #identity v xie bian #xie bian x fan wujiu #xie bian x fan wujiu identity v #identity v wu chang

[softxsuki]

Hello-hello! May I request an AoT and a Demon Slayer matchup? Thank you very much in advance for your hard work!

My pronouns are She/Her, I don't really have a preference for who to be matched with:) Romantic matchup please! My mbti is ISFP and in case you want it, my enneagram is 7w6. My sun and moon zodiac are Leo, Sag in the rising:) I really value intelligence both emotional and mental. I really seek deep conversations and deep emotions both in friends and partners. Basically I look for partners for life, and not just people to sip coffee with. That is what acquaintances are for. I also look for caring and open minded people who I can share my views with and not be judged. Creativity is also important! I constantly write stories with my friends. Oh, and of course a good sense of humor.

My type is blondes. I love people with light hair. Not much else, I have no care for body type or height:)

My personality.. If I were to describe myself, I'd say I am a bit irresponsible and forgetful and I am quick to give up.I am described by others as a little intimidating If you do not interact with me. But when you get to know me I am very sweet and caring. I am full of ideas and jokes. Whenever I am in the mood I crack jokes all the time. I love anything art and music, I am currently learning how to tune vocaloids. I also write and read quite a lot. And I drum every Friday in a therapy circle. Physical activity is not my forte though. I'd much rather go paragliding or swim with sharks instead of going to the gym. I really dislike routines.

Scenarios.. Probably how they would take care of me when I am sick? Or perhaps, how they would introduce me to their friends? Hah, I'm not too sure. In any case, thank you very much and take your time!

1000 Follower Event Matchup #25

This event is CLOSED. You can view the event masterlist here.

Note: Here ya go. Hope you're still around to see this, sorry for the long wait.

I match you with ARMIN and RENGOKU

Runner-ups were: Erwin (can’t think of anyone else for demon slayer)

Armin: 

This one has all the intelligence you’d ever need in a man

Deep conversations and late night chats where you open up emotionally to each other, they’ll happen with Armin

He’s in this for the long-run with you, marriage in mind and everything. If it’s not you, it won’t be anyone else

He loves hearing all your ideas, and likes to add onto them as you both lose track of time talking about them

He’s blond :D 

Probably the most caring person in AOT; actual sunshine

So he’s definitely understanding about everything with you, he’s your go-to person to tell everything to

He listens intently and has lots of advice to offer if you need it

He loves going on little adventures with you around town, holding hands and lying down together under a tree in the shade as you enjoy each others company

How does he introduce you to his friends?

I picture him being a little shy and awkward about it

Eren is definitely going to tease him about it, like wow Armin you actually managed to get a girl, impressive

Mikasa welcomes you as friendly as she can lol, but she warms up to you quickly, thinking she could trust Armin’s judgment, so long as you never hurt him

But Armin is excited to introduce you to his friends since he really cares about them, he wants you to be close to them too

As for his fellow comrades, he also wants everyone to know you’re together, but he may or may not get a little possessive when others get too close to you

Rengoku:

I MISS HIM SO MUCH IM CRYING

As goofy as he looks sometimes and how unserious he can be, I think Kyojuro has a lot to offer mentally, a lot of wisdom and intelligence hidden in that handsome head

Most of your deeper conversations happen late at night when he’s sleepy and not as energetic

Since he has a lot of past trauma, with losing his mom and his fathers abuse/dismissiveness, he definitely has a lot to share, and he’d love to hear all your secrets and feelings as well

He’s PERFECT OKAY. He’s in this for life, you’re his and he’s yours, never doubt that (not that he’d ever give you a reason to <3)

This man is as open minded as they get. You can tell him the craziest thing and he’d probably laugh and say “how wonderful” :D 

He finds your forgetfulness adorable, and leaves little notes around to help remind you about things

Takes you out for many adventures with him whenever he has to go out on a mission, but he makes sure he keeps you somewhere safe while he deals with the demon (unless it’s too dangerous and he has no choice but to leave you behind) but once the demon is dealt with, he’d walk around town with you, making new friends with the locals and enjoying time together

At night he likes watching you read or write :D 

How does he take care of you when you’re sick?

Well, he stays calm and tries to assess what’s wrong with you and figures out what he needs to do to help you quickly 

He practically took care of his little brother growing up after his mom passed away, so he knows a thing or two about caring for someone sick

Rengoku takes care of you, never leaving your side until you’re better

A part of him fears he’ll lose you like he lost his mom, but on the outside he’s pretty calm

Probably a little more serious and isn’t as loud as usual, but gives you smiles and hugs despite the risk that he may also get sick

He won’t be back to normal until you’re better <3 only then will he be able to fully relax

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 7/31/2023

#aot matchups #demon slayer matchup #aot x reader #demon slayer x reader #armin x reader #rengoku x reader

[lesbiansandco]

An unstoppable force (madd taking up all of my waking and sometimes half-awake! hours) meets an immovable object (the urge to post about madd on my tumblr blog)

i swear i want to relate to my fellow tumblr madders but to do that i would have to Stop Daydreaming and i am not yet strong enough for that (different madd criteria/madd questions) "how many hours a day do you daydream?" bitch all of them?!?!? except for sleeping but i have chronic insomnia not related to madd but guess what my brain does to fill the insomnia gap? daydream and so i lose time before bed too and the first thing I do when I wake up? daydream i've gotten so good at it too - daydreaming all of the time about anything whatsoever without it showing to other people and that doesn't mean it doesn't impact my life (or else it wouldn't really be madd) but i can hide my struggling so well and even snap out of the daydreaming for just enough time to talk to people/function somewhat normally before being sucked right back in the second its possible im a functioning addict but not for alcohol or other drugs Its Just Madd (and its driving me mad[d]) "avoid your triggers" everythings a trigger. everything. anything could spark a daydream or daydream scenario. I have over 10 different AUs for my current main paracosm bc of shit like this (and yes I can keep track of them. who needs brain function for normal human activities when you have daydreams!). and if there are no triggers around? i'll replay a scene just to watch it again or to go through and make little changes to improve the scene. or create another au. there's no escape and the hard part is: i don't want it to go away. at least not right now. i love my paras and paracosms (well, most of them). but i hope one day my life will get to a point where i don't need to daydream all of the time to escape reality and i can just be an immersive daydreamer and a functional human. but right now? that's not gonna happen. and i'm okay with it. and the worst part: i don't control my daydreams. they're set off by random triggers or boredom and i can't control what i daydream about or when, or for how long. usually its fine, but sometimes i'll daydream something disturbing. or gory/graphic. or generally unpleasant. and these scenes are always extra vivid. and when that happens? i want to stop daydreaming. just for a few hours. a little bit of time. but no. its somehow even harder to snap out of it for a little bit and i have to ride it through. and just for a moment, i hate it. i hate madd. and then it provides an enticing, not horrific escape a while later, and i don't hate it anymore. this wasn't supposed to turn into a rant. for anyone who read it, thanks for listening. may your daydreams (madd or otherwise) be pleasant.

#madd #madd rant #maladaptive daydreaming #actually maladaptive daydreaming #madd problems

[chanyoungies]

heyyyy dearest <3 how about drippin &/tbz 💗🌻✨

hewwo bieloved <3 thank u mwah

la la la la la la la la la la la la la nostalgia

first bias: yunseong!!!!!!!!! bewoved

current bias(es): still yunseong 00 liner whos a leader n dancer what else do i need

album ranking: boyager > zero > a better tomorrow = villain > free pass

how i got into them: i mean we r still in the process of getting into them but like casually listened to them since debut (boyager aoty) . n then i think i tried to get more into them for a sec bc of brina? n then . well then ina happened (nd now ure helping a great lot i think)

which member would be my best friend: minseo is my bestie he's my cat he lives on my couch BUT also i do think i cld b besties w hyeop i think we'd be a great bestie duo

something i associate with them (or with a bias/any member): INA................ n that one clip of yunseong w the cake/cream on his face i think abt it 24/7 . also the word nostalgia literally hasnt been the same since they debuted . also pink ribbons w minseo

THE boyz (tm)

first bias: haknyeon (& hyunjun)

current bias(es): scratches head....idk u tell me (chanhee sunwoo hyunjae . additional rotation juyeon jichang jacob . sometimes hak)

album ranking: reveal = breaking dawn > chase => the start > maverick > the sphere = dreamlike => the first > thrill-ing > the only > tattoo > bloom bloom which is VERY VERY VERY VERY different from my title track ranking it's almost funny (bloom bloom n no air n tattoo are my fave tts)

how i got into them: omg ok so like idk if i actually rlly liked juhak during broduce or if i only got attached to him after it ended?????? def thought his pig thing was cute (why did i phrase it like that . idk but u get it) when he was announced to b debuting i was rlly excited i made a tbz twt KKSDBJKBKDSJKF but like without actually looking much into the other ppl .. but being on there i started seeing fantakens of hyunjun i was like i Need to know who this guy is . nd then i kinda forgot abt them rip sorry nd it didnt help that i rlly didnt like giddy up so i like lost interest fully by then BUT THEN around no air i think? maybe? i was like i like this kevin guy (???? which is wild to present me like ure telling me i had a KEVIN PHASE????????????????????????????) but also . smth thats insanely funny to me is that i had a whole . losing my mind moment over how there was a guy that kept catching my eye in the no air showcase stage (breakdown documented on my old twt acc) BC it turns out it was haknyeon n i was like ??????WHAT R THE ODDS LIKE WHAT..... nd idk if this was at the same time or before or after but at some point i figured out that i actually love right here?? so i watched their weekly idol episode from that era nd i was like i am in love with sunwoo now ........ nd then i forgot abt them again KJBSKBK like i kept being a casual listener for the absolute longest time from debut to like . possibly rtk????? i think i fully got into them during rtk???????????? but it doesnt feel like it because like .as u can see . we have a bit of a history . we go way back

which member would be my best friend: i would kill to be friends w any of them . i would sell my soul to b friends w chanhee but like hes too cool for me like fully entirely like they all are but he's like on a whole different level like . i had a dream where i was besties w kevin n jacob & it was pretty fun we were a nice friend trio that cld be cute . i also think hyunjae's the type of person i gravitate towards BUT i wld end up falling in love w him so again mayb not the best idea

something i associate with them (or with a bias/any member): i think the group in general just ....... the feeling of belonging like coming home after a long time like talking to your best friend after weeks or months of silence and realizing nothing has changed u know ... hak pigs & horses & straw hats farmer vibes im so sorry hak . chanhee plum/peach/cherry blossoms & fluffy sheep & the smell of books & glitter & pearls & spring breeze n the smell of spring when you open your window & holding pinkies don't ask . jichang hermit crabs & bedazzled jackets & chucky & gabi & giraffes & brown poodles . jacob aléks & lockers filled with homemade chocolates and love letters on valentine's day that he's too kind to refuse . sunwoo's 38472398472839 hour long vlives & happy comfort & chestnuts n walnuts & just like the feeling of coming home after a long day but its not an empty home there's someone u love waiting for u u know . i was gonna add jaehyun n juyeon but i have said Too Much already sorry guys

#bie 🌼 #millie's rep #i talked so much im sorry ok bye i will disappear now

[e8luhs]

since cataclysmalbound has been p much abandoned in favor of refactoring (i assume?), would u ever consider talking abt more of the plot of cb that you didnt manage to get to? or does refactoring borrow enough of the story that it would be too risky? im v curious abt the fate of the characters! also hi if youve noticed somebody listening to the cataclysmalbound playlists. that was me <3

THIS IS SO SWEET im actually shocked that people are still getting into cataclysmalbound or are at least remembering it fondly all these years later. like it wasnt THAT long ago in the grand scheme but it feels like its been such a long time since i was working on it. im glad that people can still enjoy what was put out :,,)

i dont think i would ever completely reveal everything i had written for cataclysmalbound from start to end, because first of all it is a little bit embarrassing to look at my writing from when i was 15 years old now that i am 20, and second of all with cataclysmalbound i had a plan for about half of it and was flying by the seat of my pants for the other half of it. which was just how my writing style was at the time, and thats definitely something that has changed a lot for me since then. but that just means a lot of things werent fully fleshed out so its kind of hard to share. probably a little disappointing for some #cataclysmalheads to hear but it is what it is

HOWEVER, here is some random trivia that i am okay with revealing as a treat

sebran was going to go grimdark at some point due to being exposed to the horror terrors (just lose it go crazy go stupid ahhhh). the whole sequence was going to be called sebrovania btw because lilia cantripped my friend lilia cantripped composed a track for that, called sebrovania of course, which you can listen to here. lilia is so fucking awesome for making this and other songs for cataclysmalbound by the way.

kapreo was going to become a rainbowdrinker. rivian was also going to godtier. fucking OBVIOUSLY vergas died at the end but i think that was pretty clear to everyone on the planet. yay <3

each act was going to be named after a tarot card, and the events that would take place during each act would correlate with the card. so act one was the fool because it was of course the beginning, but also because of everyones innocence around the true nature of the game until its too late. act 2 was the hanged man, act 3 was the tower. those three were the only ones i ended up figuring out cards for because i didnt know exactly how long i wanted cataclysmalbound to be

the base premise for the universe that refactoring is set in (vitium) came from my favorite arc that i had planned for cataclysmalbound where lyreni and vergas were going to both be warring via the code and altering reality through it as well. thats really about it though. i thought it would be cool to expand upon that. anyways see below for my favorite note about said arc:

refactoring really doesnt bear any resemblance to cataclysmalbound otherwise. at the very start of its creation, i did take some traits from the cataclysmalbound characters and used them as jumping off points for creating the new characters, but honestly 3 years down the line my brain guys have been developed SO far beyond those super initial concepts at this point that even i forget about their roots sometimes

so yeah. hope this helps and thank you for asking :)

#ask #BTW IM SO GLAD THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE OUT THERE CAN ENJOY THE CATACLYSMALBOUND PLAYLISTS STILL #600 songs... 600 songs i put together for those. im literally fucking insane

[the-second-tonks]

Hello! I just found upon your account and think the way you do ships is super cute 🥹

I was wondering if I could get a Harry Potter (marauders or golden trio era - dealers choice or both) ship!

My pronouns are she/her and I currently identify as straight, I’m an ENTP/7w8/8w7/Gemini (if that matters) who thinks differently about themselves every other hour. In terms of appearance, I have medium skin, longer dark hair that can barely hold a curl (sad), 5’5”, pretty athletic,and my clothing aesthetic has been described trendy casual but I love the academia vibe! I’ll attach pictures that I’m currently enjoying so you can get a sense of who I am. Here are some emojis I’ve been liking recently too - 🫠☁️🦕🪐🍯🐝🔆🌱😵‍💫

I listen to music almost 24/7 and am a big nerd for the humanities. My favorite tv show is currently Fleabag (I’d highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it yet). I feel like I’m always thinking but that doesn’t mean they are intelligent thoughts. I love *tasteful* tattoos so much and really want to get a few pieces done. I think I like the bad boys but in reality I’d probably be better with a spicy nerd. My dry humor and quick wit are things I like about myself and like in other people. I love people watching, talking about things that excite me and learning about the people I care about. Im the friend that asks “what fruit represents you and why” or “what’s the worst and best thing you can do for someone” at 3am in the morning and follows the question with a bunch of hypotheticals. I’m like a chaotic perfectionist where everything has to be right but I kind of lose track of it at the same time. I want to be a lawyer or something like that since i have a strong personality with a secret soft side. (One day I hope someone writes me a love letter - preferably with a wax seal on it). I think I’m a little overwhelming to some people but also think I’m very cautious with the people I give my energy too. If the vibes feel off you don’t get to see the fun side of me. People will often say they didn’t think I liked them initially but then learned later that Im a complete fool (in a good, cute way).

I’m afraid of failure and losing value. I thrive off of validation and think I like the cat and mouse game a little too much. I can sometimes be a shameless flirt but I’m also incredibly dense. I dislike people who don’t know when to stop talking, I hate dog earring pages, and think that the world would be a better place if everyone could get some therapy. Thank you so much so reading all of this! I hope you liked it and hopefully it gives a good representation of me - it’s a little messy though (not unlike myself I guess). I look forward to hearing from you soon! 🖤

Hello buddy! Finally to you now! Aww thanks!!

Omg the pictures are amazing , i especially liked the metro one and the one with the dark room and stairs idk why ! The choices of emojis are also so cute! And the information is so good, i think I'll be able to ship you pretty nicely! Fleabag🤔I'll surely try my best to watch it! Thankyou for the recommendation . For marauder's era , i ship you with Remus i mean isn't that obvious hahaaha.

I ship you with —

Neville Longbottom

This cute nerd . Yep. For ya!

He's gonna be so bloody nervous omg I can already imagine him stealing glances at you .

If you make an eye contact with him for more than five seconds .. *dham!* "Neville's fainted" Seamus would yell.

You pair's gonna look pretty cute though. He might often admire your tattoos if you get some!

The questions that you ask at 3 am are really liked by him ..! Literally.

It could be that even he felt like you didn't like him in the beginning.. or he was the only one who everyone felt you liked you since the beginning lol

I personally believe neville's gonna be one of the fastest five people in your life who'll get access to your soft side.. like real quick . You'll just vibe with him so much and so good..

Whenever our Mr.Malfoy bullies Neville , your smart wits and dry humour would help him out .

During your low days or whenever you face your worst fears (failure ,etc) he's gonna be there for you and he'll help you heal and bring your confident self back .

You being shameless flirt .. him being extremely timid ! Such an opposite match .

His love language would be words of affirmation and acts of service according to me , so yeah.. he's gonna be a real help to you!

Such a cute match!

Your bestfriend would be —

Strongly leaning towards Hermione Granger

Not you both sharing the same fears hahaha . Lol , you both would often discuss how you both fear your fears!

You wanting to become a lawyer tells me that you could be a very logical or technical thinker.. so that definitely helps Hermione and is a good match for her !

Facts aside , Hermione is super supportive when you're playing .. but I'd be ready to pay your 1000 bucks if you get her to play a sport

A nice , balanced friendship!

Your secret admirer —

Bad boy Malfoy !

Isn't it obvious? Hahahah.

It could be that he is your ex .. and still has feelings for you .. but you realised that you're meant to be with our cinnamon roll Neville!

Long story short..he messed up with your feelings and especially your fears.. causing you to brutally breakup with him .

He still has feelings for you and i don't recommend you going back with him , sorry not sorry !

I tried to add gifs in this , but it kept showing errors! So here are they :

Also , I've added an extra gif for the delay! I'm sorry for the delay!

Gifs

#tree top dreams #harry potter

[alexwhitton]

Hardest thing in life to do is let go of someone we love there nothing harder then that to be honest, but you got remind yourself if you truely love someone you want them to be happy and you be in pain for awhile, I say to anyone going thought the same pain leave nothing unsaid speak your truth I told my ex that my feeling for her where forever true and that I loved her to pieces and I’m sorry for all my mistakes as the regret of losing her was eating away at me at night, when I thought before she would be here after work but that isn’t the world I live in anymore , I guess I hope everything comes across not crazy as sometime it can be seen as that but more of just being true to myself and them so that I know I’m a good person for not lying or leaving nothing unsaid, I was listening to a talk the other day if you don’t speak your truth then life will come for you some point not now but later and something with set it off and I been reading so much after work I was like I need to say what I need to say so I know it been said I can’t lie to myself be like oh were ok if they never know how much I still love them and miss them it’s like why would I put myself thought hell if I can just take a moment and release what been eating away at me for ages then I can work though it , just remember too that if you left nothing unsaid then you can move forwards as you have nothing to look back on but the knowledge knowing you left in peace and you let them know that you loved them to pieces. Im hoping after everything I said I can tell my soul free itself from the past and realise I’m not that person anymore I’ve bettered myself and my life by gaining a career and working none stop to make a future and to work everything towards my future as it been hard losing someone I loved and was my soul mate to me, I’ve been so busy with work that I forget I’m still getting over a lose. Im hope one day the feeling of the lose will get off my chest and let me rest, I keep forgetting I got to ask myself how am I feeling after work as I’ve been getting so much on track and crazy busy days for me one of knees have been going lately but I’ve been like I need to reach this goal I keep going,

It’s really odd because some days I’m like oh I’m reaching this goal and this and my life is going well and then other on a night I break down because of losing someone I held dear honestly I hope maybe all this being done will help me deal with it all knowing now I’ve done everything, first time for me if I’m honest with myself that I thought I was going to marry her and see her everyday after work that how much she was in my heart she used to give me shit for being sloppy , I hope one day someone see me for my worth now I’m not that Alex anymore lazy and uniformed, I’ve grown up

#lifelessons #mindful movement meditation #feelings #lifecoach #heartbreak #lost love #reflection #breakup #life improvement #quotes #self care #youtube

[pinkchampagneproblems]

i have so much to say that i don't even know how or where to start but as i was re-reading what i've been writing here over the past years, i realized i move move move and never really moves. stil stucked in this nightmare that is my life - i truly am obsessed with being dramatic, i know, but i swear this isn't drama. I still hate my daily routine and I still rather be dead than doing this over and over and over again, not knowing when (and where) this will finally end. I'm so tired of everything. where did I lose the track of my life? I read somewhere that the pandemic would have the same effect in us that wars had back then - obvs talking about perception and feelings and stuff - and this makes total sense to me. i'm literally right where they left me. my friends are graduating - i am literally doing college exams all over again because i was miserable with the one i was doing. it's not only that i feel extremely behind of every single person, but i am told i am. growing up being compared to every person i knew has been (and probably always will) impact and haunt my life forever.. childhood trauma really is a bitch, huh? and lately i've been analyzing myself and having these little insights like "oh... maybe im like this because of that situation i had growing up". also realized that this must be one of the main reasons why i wanna be a mom so bad - to treat my baby the way i wish i was treated. there are so many little things that has such a huge impact in my life, the way i am and the way that i react to what happens to me.. talk about healing you inner child. i dead serious have no idea what i would be without my granny. she is everything to me - and to everyone. truly an angel on earth - and everytime i think "i don't wanna be like my mom at all", the thought of "i wanna be like my grandma" comes along. sometimes i get sad that my children won't have her as a grandma - but i am so grateful that I did, that i was this lucky. I love her more than life and lol im crying writing this cause i know someday she won't be here anymore and i think about this day more than i should. maybe is because i'm going to so many funerals, losing so many loved ones in a row. this thought is inevitable. that will be the worst day of my entire life and there is no way im surviving that. no way at all, and i say that from the bottom of my heart. i literally can't live in a world without her. wow this is not what i was thinking about when i started writing this lol just took a whole different direction. and now im crying thinking of how much i love and need my grandma and how she is the sun of my life and how lucky i am for having her. her birthday is coming up in 12 days and i'm seriously thinking about tattoing (wtf is that even a word???) her name. not only vs has an Arlete that was also Angel, i have mine too <3