#am I still alive on this blog

[kurogoesinthedas]

the last couple of sessions have been an emotional rollercoaster (what happens when the DM puts your characters through a trial that basically goes "you can go back in time and save your loved ones/fix your life at the cost of your current one") pain but we don't want to change a thing.

#the caleb widogast of it all #fley'rani #campaign: hunt for the surging revolution #dnd #dnd character #sketches #am I still alive on this blog #Fley art

[uc1wa]

making out with jason in the backseat of his car mhmmmmmm

tags: fem reader, slight dumbification

it was exhausting, the bickering that hadn’t seemed to stop after leaving the gala you and jason had attended. you weren’t sure where it started, but it was painfully obvious that jason’s vigilante work was stressing him out, on top of bruce forcing him to go to gala’s every weekend.

gala season was exhausting in itself, but when working a job during the day, attending galas every weekend, and being a vigilante at night, jason was frustrated.

fifteen minutes from the gala and twenty minutes from yours and jason’s home, he had pulled his car into a commuter parking lot that was empty. flickering yellow lights partially illuminating the space, but the dark tinted windows didn’t allow much of it to make its way inside of the vehicle.

you’re turned in your seat, arched eyebrow while jason’s hands are holding the steering wheel with a grip that had the potential to snap it in half.

jason wasn’t saying anything as he took his hands off the steer, opening his car door and closing it with a harsh sound, making his way to the back end doors and taking a seat in his backseat, eyes looking at you knowingly.

"please don’t make me wait," his words come out like a warning, like if he has to ask again, he’s not going to touch your body for the next week.

your eyes watch his figure, the way he’s sat in the middle of the three seats that line the section of the car. his legs that are spread in a way that’s inviting you to take your seat where you belong. one arm is crossed over his chest while the other is resting on it, hand holding up his tilted head that has a bored expression on it, lips in a straight line and eyebrows holding no emotion.

you know better, so you do as he says, slipping into the back seat and sitting on his lap comfortably, the top of your head touching the car roof, but the slight discomfort is wavering as you're stared at with dark eyes.

"you know i’m tired baby. don’t you?" he asks, crossing his hands over his chest, careful to not touch the hips that he would usually claim as his. your head nods, eyes widened at the fact that your boyfriend isn’t all over you yet.

his eyebrow arches half a centimeter, moving back down to where it was not a second later. "then why do you keep testing me? can’t ever listen to me when i say be quiet, can you? just wanna keep running your mouth, and at a gala too? no fucking manners."

he's right, you know you need to stop blabbering on when jason tells you to be quiet. you know how to act at galas. hell, you've been to hundreds, it felt like. but... can you blame yourself for wanting attention? after all, you're getting it just like you'd planned.

you're quiet, looking at every line on your boyfriend's face, like studying the face you've grown to love will give you an answer on what to say next. but, jason knows what you're about to say; he knows the way you're about to apologize one-too-many times, all pathetic.

so, uncrossing his arms from his chest, a hand grabs your chin and pulls you forward, smooshing your lips together with his in nothing but harsh intent. a kiss that's short of sensual and filled with teeth and uncomfort—until it isn't. until jason's tongue is licking the inner of your cheeks and the roof of your mouth. until your lipgloss is smeared over his lips and it's hard to catch your breath and you can't help but to grind yourself down on his growing erection. as always, you'll get the attention you deserve, that jason swears he'll never give you, 'till he does.

note: am wishing everyone a good and great finals season. scheduling this 4 saturday so my blog isn’t dry asf hahaha. wooohoooo two more weeks!

#this was one of my first reqs on this blog I AM SORRY FIR THE DELAY! #also hi i’m still alive. am going through finals season and realized i had this finished and meh am scheduling it for sat night so hi sat #hello saturday HOW ARE WE DOING #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #red hood x you #red hood x reader #red hood x y/n

[nwarrior777]

MY FRIEND SAID ME THAT SHE KNEW FROM UNIVERSITY LECTURES ABOUT LITERATURE THAT HAMLET SUPPOSED TO BE FAT, THERE IS LIKE, HINTS OR MENTIONS OF IT IN ORIGINAL TEXT BUT PEOPLE JUST STARTED MAKING VISUAL THINGS WITH HIM AS THIN BECAUSE BLA BLA BLA MELANHOLIC SAD HERO = THIN

BITCH! FAT HAMLET!??? WHAT A CONCEPT

i am SO will read it in original (i read not in eng long ago, eng not my first) and i WILL SO MAKE HAMLET BACK FAT YOU KNOW I CAN DO THIS SHIT OOOOH

#hamlet #sorry for too much text in this blog these days #it's still art blog! #i just work on big projects and commissions #well i am actually work on staying alive these 2 days and draw nothing but you got me ahah #i am fine just feel a little sick and sleep troubles #not worst thing i had!

[yellowjacketsource]

Jackie & Shauna (Yellowjackets, S01E10) "End of Beginning" by Djo

#yellowjackets #yellowjacketsedit #jackieshauna #tvedit #djoedit #i am not back this blog is not alive again i just got an insane random spur of inspo for this #i still havent watched s2 <3 #i watched the first 3 eps but then the fandom got real mean to a comfort character so i stopped but perhaps i will try again #i have had 0 time i havent been here i havent been on the discord i have been a ghost and im sorry for that #at some point it had been so long since i existed in this fandom that showing up was too scary ksdjhsfd #and it will stay that way goodbye i love u all but i do not have the time or energy to stress over online stuff #anyway enjoy this i am actually very happy with it #gifs #**

[mikhailogallaghermilkovich]

spencer reid + purple

#>mac talks tv: criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #cm #all images are from pinterest i just put them together #ps i am still alive i missed this blog

[napping-sapphic]

really want a girl to hide me in her ridiculously oversized sweatshirt so i can be safe from The Problems™️

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #hello i am still here #unfortunately not being surrounded by a girls gigantic sweatshirt #but still here nonetheless #if the sweatshirt is big enough we can both duck down and hide in there #me putting on oversized clothes: this is going to fix me #and by that completely sound logic a girl putting me in her oversized clothes would heal me forever #simple math obvs #im so tired and forgot what i was saying but point is still alive as is blog just busy! #as always lol #hope you’re all well <3 #im gay and i like sleeping

[dailynakaharachuuya]

6. Yokai AU

#bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs chuuya #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #skk #soukoku #inktober 2023 #(No ones gonna understand what this means other than me since I have not mentioned anything about it) #(But thats okay haha) #(I love yokai au) #(Did you know I use to run a BSD yokai ask blog?) #(Do ask blogs still exist? Or am I too old) #(I wonder if theres any skk discords to join) #(I dont want to be the owner I can never keep a server alive) #(Okay okay enough of my rambling hahah thanks to anyone who even reads these tags)

[lotrmusical]

tell you what. i love being older than i used to be. and more transgender also

#side effect of having had the same blog for over a decade is sometimes someone likes a post you made in 2015 and provides a quick method of #time travel back to a bygone era of excruciating personal posts. and let me tell you #i am by no means the pinnacle of mental health and emotional stability. but at least it isn't 2015 anymore. #being alive! growing! making better friends with my selves past present and future! #idk i just live here but like i'm very glad i still do. #yknow. #gay belligerence

[bogkeep]

it was always a strange dichotomy. every middle school classmate i had told me i'd be a millionaire when i grew up, a Famouse Artisté. it's easy enough to imagine as a teen, i suppose: skill equals fame equals money. i was doubtful about this prophecy, not because i wasn't confident in my ability to draw, but because it was hard to imagine a world where i'd be paid for it.

it was an ice breaker game at summer camp. horrible one, really - everyone in a group were given a character profile. now we had to imagine that it was the zombie apocalypse, and the helicopter to safety was two seats short and we had argue why we deserved a spot. the character i got was an asshole doctor of some kind. i don't remember if i argued my way into the helicopter or not, but i do remember the feeling that's been hanging over me my entire life - if the apocalypse happens right now, i have nothing to contribute.

there's something really painful about it. i have cultivated a skill for my whole life, i can make art and tell stories that are entirely unique to me, there is no way to get someone else to create in the exact same way i can, and yet - i've contributed more to capitalist society by sitting in an empty hotel reception for eight hours a day.

which made me develop anxiety, to boot.

i illustrated two children's books. they're some of my best work. the contract i signed was industry standard and the indie author who had hired me was incredibly kind... but even after stock sold out i had earnt little more than some pocket change.

in high school we had an outing to dig our own snow caves that we would spend the night in. in teams, thankfully. i have so little physical strength to speak of, most i could do to help was clear away the snow rubble and toss it outside. i know, i know, my classmates reassured me it was an important job to do, i was an invaluable member of the group, sure - but it's that feeling, you know?

what would my task be in the communist solarpunk commune?

a person cannot be useless. it's a human being. they just exist, no ifs and buts about it. one can only be useless in the eyes of an ableist, capitalist society that sees no value in being alive beyond production and profit.

sometimes i receive messages from internet strangers to tell me something i said - often several years ago - was helpful to them. maybe it was a throwaway comment on a forum. maybe it was replying to a question they could've googled the answer to. maybe it was an encouraging reply to someone's artwork. turns out it mattered to someone. huh.

of course you can learn new skills. i have learnt plenty over the years! i have also learnt that there are limitations to what i can do. that some of the obstacles i face are not in fact obstacles everyone faces. it's not that i can't break tasks into smaller steps, it's more that half of those steps are going to be "rinse your hands because you Touched a Thing and now you're going to have to touch Another Thing." i wonder if that's adding to my cognitive load or something.

i was never raised to be a man, so by all accounts i do not understand why i'm so haunted by the spectre of toxic masculinity - what would i do if i was a medieval peasant and a war broke out? what if i was in a pre-historic hunter gatherer society and i was expected to hunt? what if i was a humble farm boy discovering the sword of the chosen one and the world depended on my non-existing courage to face certain death?

look, it's stupid. these are not scenarios i will find myself in. besides, pre-historic humans depended on community and taking care of each other. that's how we survive.

i'm not useless and i decided to make peace with being useless anyway.

we're surrounded by digital clocks. we can't really escape them. do we need watchmakers? would they save me a spot in the zombie apocalypse helicopter? no, don't answer that. i'm just happy i found something that requires a light touch and an observant eye.

#too long for twitter #I AM NOT ASKING FOR ADVICE I AM JUST MUSING AND WRITING A BLOG POST FOR THE JOY OF WRITING BLOG POSTS #not mentioned: the bachelors degree in art history i took to procrastinate with my life. #i would love to work as an illustrator still. if the opportunity to do so comfortably comes along i will take it #but im also happy to pursue my passion in my free time as something that belongs to me #number one question im asked whenever i tell someone i go to watchmaker school is 'BUT DO YOU STILL DRAW??' #it's like asking if i still breathe. yes! i still do the thing that makes me feel alive #it's just. we live in a world that's hostile to Live Comfortably and Pursue Creative Passions at the same time #and a society that can be so largely dismissive of art sometimes; all the while consuming it en masse #ah you probably get it. you dont need me to tell you

[doctorbethanysartblog]

A person holding a bunch of plushies of their friends is like top tier

#yogscast #xephos #yogs #Hello I am alive! #brain went aaaa for a bit #Anyway here i am with xephos because i love him i might make a blog for all the cluster stuff i wanna throw in #have some dumb fun with stuff #am i tagging everyone no but yes there are two randoms here #brain thougth this in shower EVERYONE ELSE STILL EXISTS #I dont know why i felt like i needed to justify that

[mrpenguinpants]

oh my god I finally got this card (The Hero's Journey and it's one (1) bullshit requirement)

#uh hi im alive again #for a limited time only #just came by to drop this achievement because holy shit I've been working on this on and off ever since i saw it #its probably not a big deal but it is to me ;-; #ah but anyways important news #i actually managed to cobble together my little spare time to write a fic #its not genshin sorry its hsr #super old fic that i was working on when i was really into hsr (still am but ik this is mostly a genshin blog) #but it was the one fic that was mostly finished so it didn't take a lot of time to edit and finish #will be uploading that tmr #sorry sunday i meant sunday

[fraseris]

most of you guys couldnt handle it if i embraced being polygon adjacent again

#honestly celebrities talk about their normal lives before becoming actors or whatever #thats what polygon tumblr is to me. like my childhood #text #i am posting #ive been following every polygon adjacent blog i see in my notes. many still alive and kicking #do you guyse remember little old meeee...

[anghraine]

My best friend was like, "It's kind of funny that Trump's son has the same name as your dog."

I very indignantly defended the honor of my dog's name and insisted it might be pronounced the same but is totally different.

Best friend: the dog's name is Baron, right? B-A-R-O-N? Pretty close.

Me: It's Beren, with two E's, like the Tolkien character. My dog was named for the coolest man in the Silmarillion.

#no i am not accepting criticism at this time #we named him when my cat mithrandir was still alive #i wanted another tolkien name and it seemed sufficiently cool for an aspirational Youth #and he's so loving (unless someone fucks with him or his food) that it ended up kind of perfect #anghraine babbles #legendarium blogging #beren the puppy #(we still call him a puppy even though he's a full grown lab/golden retriever cross) #anghraine's pets

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not? #how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with #is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe. #why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain #i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself #that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it? #just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once #but never never never liked enough #i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting #i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out #i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again #but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough #for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay. #maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find #maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months #anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning. #on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you #god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie #but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down #blah #personal #not st

[edenorisshitposting]

Henlo

I don't do cross promotion a lot, but I'll make an exception this time.

I would appreciate it if you lads could share my latest Instagram post. I'm seeing a lot of anti Israeli/antisemitic sentiments online, and I feel like the world needs a reminder we're human.

In the link, are a few war time sketches I made during this insane time.

#art #my art #sketch #sketches #war #illustraion #traditional art #sketchbook #I am in fact still alive #and doing as well as I could be #yes I'm Israeli #I've been vauge about where I'm from the entire time I ran this blog #but I'm tired of it #I'm tired of being expected to apologise for my nationality #I'm tired of needing to clarify I'm ''one of the good ones'' #I'm tired of western leftists projecting their history onto me as a way for them to repent their colonialist past #your history isn't mine #your history is of conquest mine is of deportation #I'm going to stay here and fight for my country because fuck it #I have nowhere else to go #and if you're gonna unfollow me for that than good riddance #Instagram

[helyannis]

march-warden, 2015

#tolkien #mablung #this is a tinted charcoal love blog #time to post something old since I have nothing new to show :D #i am in fact still alive #this is postcard-sized btw