#am literally fine just

[liminalweirdo]

probably i just need to eat but i feel like i'm fucking losing my mind today

#am literally fine just #simultaneously over and understimulated i am so sick of winter and it hasn't even been bad #i need the sun and a vegetable #also fucking random but i want to try la croix and i cannot fucking find it anywhere i'm so tired of ordering things online #i know everyone says la croix sucks but i want to try it!!! i hate it here #i wish people would wear masks in public i wanna go out in the world again #it comes back to this so often -- just wear a mask don't you care? #we should've gone to nyc when we had the chance #also i'm just so unhappy with my writing lately like #i used to be better than this before the big autism burnout of 2018 and i've been improving; but man #sometimes ij ust feel like everything i write sucks lol #liminal scrawlings

[lazylittledragon]

hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.

#ramble #literally very hot. like very hot #there is so much sweat #'oh you're just trying to paint a pretty picture that it's all fine' yeah i am!!! it's fucking great. i love it #trans people aren't sad clueless little babes who don't know what's going on. if you want to go on hormones you Know what it's going to do #and you WANT THAT WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE DOING IT #i hate hate hate seeing detransitioners like 'it destroyed and mutilated me' #*proceeds to list the normal effects of hormones* #it's all fearmongering and it's SICK #personally i think we should start glorifying transition more. because it's BEAUTIFUL

[mayasbishops]

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (2003) dir. Peter Jackson

#the return of the king #1kplus #lotredit #filmgifs #userhella #userrainbow #userelio #usercats #mialook #useraish #userzaynab #underbetelgeuse #alielook #useralison #usertj #userraffa #userfanni #userteri #userairam #userpayton #treena.gif #doN'T LOOK AT ME #I'M FINE #I'M JUST HAVING A SPIRAL #I LITERALLY HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT THEM SINCE WATCHING #I AM NOT OKAY

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking. #nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference #anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose. #isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat act 6 spoilers #isat loop #isat siffrin #isat bonnie #isat nille #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #doodlebyte #---------------------------------------------------------------------- #anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!) #which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around) #and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but #They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt) #and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good #(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit #distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally #stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine) #the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly. #but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief) #as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur #BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule #which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation #ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.

[kaladinkholins]

Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.

And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.

And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.

Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.

This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.

And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.

Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.

So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.

It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.

Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.

These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.

Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.

Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.

And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).

But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.

Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.

On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:

"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."

Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.

And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.

Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.

So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.

This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.

In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.

To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #just in case... im gonna tag this as #mizukemicritical #akemizucritical #though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters #for that reason lemme also tag this as #wank.mp3 #feel free to disagree of course but please be civil #and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3 #fandom.rtf #meta dissertations.pdf #shut up haydar #edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun! #it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it #it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future #but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me #but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!! #plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!! #i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!! #but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.

[nuinokata]

If you ever find yourself questioning your own intelligence, just remember that Jujutsu Kaisen gave us a character who is the undisputed strongest living being in his universe (so much so that his birth altered the balance of the entire world around him) and is canonically able to do anything he tries; who could have decided to spend his entire life doing absolutely whatever tf he wanted because there is literally no one and nothing with the power to stop him, but instead chose to use his strength to protect and train the next generation to be strong and intelligent enough to overhaul the current oppressive system that would have stripped those innocent kids of their lives and precious youth in the same way it did his own generation, and this was a good portion of the fandom’s reaction to said character:

mostly based on one (1) line removed from 5 layers of context. When the majority of the story wouldn't have taken place at all if not for his strong sense of morality. I am so Tired.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #and it’s fine not to like him!! you don’t have to like fan favourite characters!!! #you’re not obligated to like any character for any reason cause it literally doesn’t matter! they’re not real!! #but you can just dislike them for their canon characteristics without feeling the need to make up super ooc fanon stuff #in order to justify it! it’s simply unnecessary!!! #also i am once again asking people to PLEASE just google what the term 'god complex' actually refers to ashgsadk

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt in Memes 4

Another prompt, but in memes because trying to gather my thoughts is hard sometimes lol.

#prompts #memes #batman au #batman #cryptid batman #cryptid batfam #cryptid batfamily #batfamily #batfam prompts #batfam #Bruce: This surely will be fine :) #Dick: Gotham made me like they made B :) #League: the what did what now #Barbara: I formed from his tech & could get away with all your murders :) #Jason: I am the embodiment of Crime Alley and Retribution :) #Cass: I am Gotham's shadow :) #Tim: Oh I'm a child :) #The league: Oh thank fuck a normal child- #Tim: Well at least my body is a child but TECHNICALLY- #Steph: I'm his twin and the other side of his Chaos :) #Duke: Hi I'm the Bat Signal :) #Damian: I am the blood son #The League: Oh gods he means that literally doesn't he like some sort of creature made entirely from blood- #Bruce: I am not sure why I expected this Not to escalate but it's too far to go back now #Why yes they can all fit in his cape even when they become older and no one knows how or why #If they even age I mean Gotham could just be Like that where people sometimes stop aging #Kind of like what's going on in Fawcett just more goth #meme

[odakota-rose]

so many gems in the Doctor Who script library the BBC just released but today I'm here in 4x02, The Fires of Pompeii

#doctor who #donna noble #tenth doctor #the fires of pompeii #literally this is donna's second trip #the first time she met the doctor she saw what he was capable of #and this episode does that too but in a different way #somebody far more eloquent than i needs to elaborate on how this was on a small scale reminiscent #of what the doctor had to do to end the time war #(or at least at this point thought he did. not getting into the timey-wimey retcons rn) #and how he always seems to end up having to make these soulcrushing choices on his own bc that's what being the doctor means #but donna does something very different here and chooses to take half the weight of this impossible choice #and i am very 😭 about it #don't mind me just spiraling over a sixteen year old episode of doctor who on this fine thursday afternoon #as one does #wait.... it's tuesday. dammit. #my posts

[magnetic-rose]

being in the bg3 fandom when you think astarion is just alright.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #i don't hate him! he's FINE #but like that's literally it... he's just fine lmfao #like i think every other companion is more fun than him #like i am OBSESSED with karlach and gale and shadowheart #i'm becoming increasingly more intrigued with wyll the more we find out with him #lae'zel is my problematic little meow meow #and halsin is good vibes #astarion is just... there lmao #getting mad at me for doing good things and then getting mad at my for not wanting to have sex with him

[stuckinapril]

me stoically navigating my way through drama bc bigger things are ahead and it’s not my fault people are dumb

#kissed a guy at a kickback and thought we caught a vibe only to find out he just wants to fuck me. next #friend’s bf of 7 years drunkenly hit on me at the same kickback (I was not ok w this). they ended up beefing over me. he denied everything. #do I want to be involved in this? no. and so I simply ignore it and keep it pushing #and the guy I kissed is cancelled. like he is dead to me. so that’s also taken care of #it’s back to studying full-time for the mcat #going to the gym/taking walks daily #volunteering at the refugee center + clinic #getting published in orgo research papers #and trying to snag the opportunity to shadow doctors at a massive cancer research center. like I’d kill for it #december was such a mess but I’ve finally made peace w the fact that most of the stuff that happened I couldn’t prevent #but I’ve mourned it enough !! whatever drama comes out of it I’ll handle just fine #i literally want to be a multitasking academic weapon everyone is intimidated of this year #i am not letting something as puny as a dumb man (both of them btw) stop me. goodbye #also everyone involved is older than me (they’re both 23) but it all just feels like such high school behavior #this is not a euphoria episode like I’m literally just not entertaining any of this #had to get this off my chest. i feel better #p

[tomorrowillbeyou]

my submission for @runningfreetoday 's war all the time zine!

#sorry for posting literally 1 day before deadline i am the procrastinating procrastinator -_- -_- -_-.... #also credit w just my url is fine ^_^ #war20zine #my art #thursday band

[rythyme]

really not a fan of boston very explicitly saying "I want to be exclusive romantically but not sexually" only to be told "You're lying to yourself. I think you should be alone."

#like... p'jojo. you gave us 3wbf??? what's going on bud #only friends the series #ofts #am i misinterpreting boston? did I miss something? is this just a poorly executed representation of something else entirely?? #idk this really just did not sit well with me #i love pretty much everything else in this show so i'm disappointed that this was the last thing we got #bc I've been saying this the whole time!! boston DOES want a romantic relationship and he's spent the whole show coming to terms with that #he really does love nick #and he wants romantic exclusivity (see: Boston getting upset and jealous when Nick is with other people) #but physical stuff doesn't need to have the same exclusiveness for him and that's literally fine #idk i just wish that last conversation had been written slightly differently. a couple different wordings could have fixed it all for me #like if Nick had SAID ''i can't do a non-exclusive relationship but i hope you find someone someday who wants that with you'' #that would have been fine #not ''i think you should be alone'' #idk. just really sat wrong with me #lgbt drama #thai drama #theo.txt #100

[cupoteahatter]

In the wake of the cancellation of Warrior Nun, I am imploring anyone who has Disney+ to watch Willow (2022).

It features a woman loving woman romantic subplot at the forefront, meaning it’s not in the subtext. Episode 1 has them kiss and afterward the lines of romance exist so throughout the narrative for these two characters that it is current and seen to the point that it cannot be argued away.

But there’s next to no buzz for it, only the Disney+ app really promotes it as something to watch with the odd ad showing up on Instagram of the cast playing mini games.

On top of that, it is a well written show that holds all of the love of the original film from the 80s.

I know that it would appear that numbers don’t seem to matter, but I am begging people to watch this show because it is a fantastic piece of media that delights in paying homage to the source material it comes from.

Also hot women with swords. Hot women with swords who could KILL you-

#willow #willow series #willow (2022) #Warrior Nun #Netflix #First Kill #Netflix cancellation #Twitter #like it’s not subtle and it’s fantastic at showing the Bodyguard Royalty romance / Friends to Lovers pipeline #It’s only up to ep4 with weekly releases but #*Yells* It’s use of fantasitical horror is just amazing #genuinely I am in love with it #Cheesy fantasy mixed with horror queer romance and rock music??? #Plus Boorman is the perfect Blorbo for the ‘I don’t want to fix him but if he could make me worse that would be fine’ crowd #And that’s just the tip of the iceberg #Especially if you want a Chosen One who knows nothing about being a chosen one but is quite literally the only one who can cook #It’s like watching a D&D campaign tbh #Anyway Kit and Jade should get to hold hands and be married

[extra-somethin-somethin]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week? #yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her) #i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀 #it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺'' #''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

[4n-4ng31]

HELLO???? THIS MANNNNNNN😩😩😩

He’s actually so fucking fine like why is he smirking and smoldering and omg i have a thing for blondes and this man has me BARKING Jesus Christ🙏 AND THEN THE SMILE LINES??? WOOF WOOF WOOF BITCH UGH WHY OS THIS MAN SUCH A DILFFFF OMG

#disney twst #vil schoenheit #luxe couture #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst event #twst spoilers #eric venue #vil’s dad #i am going to explode #im literally just a girl #and this man is too fine #i’m actually legally vil’s new stepmom

[moeblob]

I am really tired of a situation rn.

#fe three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet! #anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine #can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 ! #why am i getting your insurance company calling me today ! #also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp #and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene #so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth #literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic #i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck! #im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like #bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved #cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered #idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy #got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam #and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified #there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them #and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious #its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it