#and I just hate to see what she’s become to a whole generation of fans

[about-faces]

“God, I hate Talia so much?! Why don’t more people hate her?!”

Because some of us actually read older comics and care about characters who get fucked over by writers who throw them under the bus. We don’t let more recent versions, much less animated media, redefine who these characters were before that happened.

#sorry for the Talia spamming lately I’m just getting salty #I’ve been interested in her for three decades now #and I just hate to see what she’s become to a whole generation of fans #feel free to block the Talia tag if this annoys you I don’t plan on stopping #talia al ghul

[corroded-hellfire]

You Belong With Me - Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: modern!au. Eddie is dating Chrissy, but she’s making him miserable. What would it take for him to notice that he’d be better off with you? Based on the Taylor Swift song.

Note: Oh, so many thoughts about this one. I’ve never been a big fan of song fics, but this song just screamed this dynamic at me and wouldn’t let me rest until I wrote it. And it physically hurt me to write Chrissy as the “bad guy” because I just adore her and Grace so much. But for the fic, it had to be done. Lastly, I literally stayed up all night to write this so I apologize if my sleeplessness caused any more errors than usual.

Warnings: modern!au, language, sex jokes, mention of gun, I think that’s it?

Words: 8.7k

“But that’s not what I meant. No, no, I- Babe, it was a joke. It wasn’t about you! You know I don’t like basketball game- Yes, I’m coming. Of course. I’m sorry, okay? Like I said, it was a joke- Okay. Yeah, okay. I’ll see you there. Okay. Bye.”

Eddie tosses his phone down on your bed and rubs his hands over his face. You sit up near your pillows, wincing through the whole phone call. Eddie getting frustrated like this was becoming far too common for your liking.

“You okay, Eds?” He isn’t, but you’re not sure if he’ll want to talk about it or not.

“Fine,” he says. He has to know you don’t believe him, but he also knows you won’t push him. He climbs on your bed, leaning against your footboard.

“I made a stupid joke,” he says. “I said something about watching a basketball game being like watching a goldfish swim around in its bowl. You’re just looking back and forth at the same thing the whole time!”

It’s not the appropriate time, but you can’t help but laugh. “It’s true, though.”

“Thank you!” he says. “It was a dumb joke but somehow Chrissy took that as me saying I hated going to see her cheer. Is it my favorite thing to do? No. But I do it because she’s my girlfriend.”

You nod your head at him, not sure what you could say. There are a million things you want to say. Break up with her. She’s not good enough for you. I’ve been in love with you for years, you doofus. But none of that would help him. It’d only stress him out even more, which was the last thing you wanted to do.

“I swear, the only saving grace at those God-awful games is that you’re there with me. If I didn’t have you to make snide comments with, I don’t think I’d be able to stomach it,” he says.

It should make you feel better, you think. But in reality, it just makes you want to smack him on the back of the head and say, “then what does that tell you, dumbass? Spending time with me is better!”

“We’re going to the game tonight, I’m assuming,” you say. It’s a Tuesday so there wasn’t a Hellfire meeting, which was the only acceptable reason, according to Chrissy, that Eddie could miss a game. Even those, she wasn’t thrilled he skipped games for.

“Don’t have much of a choice,” Eddie mumbles, picking at his rings. He looks up and meets your eyes. “I mean, you do, though. You don’t have to come with me.”

And make him do this alone? You couldn’t. Even if you had to sit there and pretend not to see Eddie watching Chrissy, or just pretend to not see Chrissy in general. It was never a choice for you if there was an opportunity to spend it with Eddie. You’d stand blindly by his side, supporting him however you could.

“You can’t get rid of me that easy,” you tell him.

He smiles and tosses one of your stuffed bears at you. “Like I’d ever want to get rid of you.”

Looking into his eyes suddenly makes you feel like you could cry, so you jump off your bed and head over to your Bluetooth speaker.

“What do you say? Some Ozzy?” you ask.

Eddie groans and drops his head forward. “God, I wish I could stay and listen. I’ve got two deals before the game tonight, though. I’ve gotta head out.”

You pout and press play on the machine anyway. Ozzy Osborne was not what was queued up next, however. The acoustics of a Taylor Swift song start to play into the space of your bedroom.

Eddie groans again, louder this time. You stop the music and start to skip through the shuffled playlist.

“I am so tired of pop songs. It seems like that’s all that’s playing in my car lately and it’s driving me up the wall. I can listen to it sometimes, but God forbid we listen to any of my music as I’m driving around with her.”

Your pout grows as you keep your back to Eddie. You never know what to say to him when he complains about Chrissy. He wanted to date her so badly that you didn’t think anything could hurt you worse. But seeing the way she treats him? That beat all.

“I thought you didn’t even like Taylor Swift,” Eddie says. It just shows how much Chrissy must be making him listen to pop if he recognized the song by the opening chords.

“I like some of her songs,” you say, turning to face him. “Sometimes it feels like she took a page out of my diary and wrote a song about it. I love Metallica and Black Sabbath dearly, but that is something they just don’t do.”

Eddie stands up off your bed and grabs his leather jacket. He smirks at you as he slips it on. “So, what you’re saying is, Taylor Swift understands you?”

You roll your eyes at him and plop back down on your bed. “Yes, Eddie. That’s exactly what I’m saying. The pretty, millionaire singer, that’s dated all of the hottest guys in Hollywood totally gets me.”

“You sing,” Eddie says with a shrug. “In fact, I wish you did it more. How many times have I begged you to come sing with the band again?”

“It was once, I was drunk, and I’m still grateful that I don’t remember all of it,” you say.

“You were good. I’m not just saying that as your best friend, I’m saying it as a musician. You never sing around me. Why are you embarrassed to?”

The teddy bear in your lap is easier to look at than Eddie. “M’not embarrassed.”

“Oh yeah? Then why not in front of me at least? You’ve seen me puking my guts out and have taken care of me after a hangover, but you’re too shy to sing in front of me?”

“To be fair,” you say, eyes now finding Eddie’s, “you have also seen me puke and taken care of me when I had a hangover.”

“Yet I still sing in front of you.” When you don’t say anything, Eddie starts to get annoyed. “You know, I told Dustin that I wished you’d sing more, and he seemed confused because apparently you sing all the time around him.”

“That’s different!”

“How?” Now he sounds like he’s starting to get mad and it’s the last thing you want. Chrissy had already worked him up and you didn’t want to make it worse.

“You know, Dustin is always singing songs from movies and stuff. You’ve seen him and I singing Suddenly, Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors together. See? I’m not embarrassed in front of you.”

“Yeah, but you were also putting on that squeaky voice the woman has in the movie.” He sighs and takes a few steps towards your bed. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just like it when you sing.”

You look up at him and give him a small smile. “I like when you sing, too.”

“We’ll go to a karaoke club soon then,” he says with a smirk, and you’re not sure if he’s teasing or not. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll come by in a few hours to pick you up?”

“Mhmm.” He heads out of your room, but you call out for him before he can fully leave. “Eddie! Can you hit play for me? I think I got the right song up now.”

Eddie clicks the button on your Bluetooth speaker and Crazy Train starts playing, Ozzy’s maniacal laugh haunting your bedroom.

“Much better,” Eddie says over his shoulder as he walks out of your room.

After dinner with your parents, you head back up to your room. Your mom and dad assume it’s to finish your homework, but you’d finished that a little after Eddie left. Instead, you pull up your metal-only playlist and let it run on shuffle. The synthetic voice comes over your Bluetooth speaker.

“I am iron man.”

This song instantly has you reaching to turn the volume up. Black Sabbath’s iconic sound rings through your room and you jump on top of your bed. You head-bang to the opening notes, feeling more pumped up by the second. You spin around, scooping up your hairbrush from your nightstand to use as a makeshift microphone.

“Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all? Or if he moves, will he fall?”

You fall to your knees on the mattress, openly air-guitaring as you sing along.

“Is he alive or dead? Has he thoughts within his head? We'll just pass him there, why should we even care?”

There’s a new voice joining in with yours this time. You slowly turn around and move the hair out of the way that’s covering your face from all your whipping it about. Eddie leans against your doorframe, arms crossed against his chest, and the biggest smile on his face that you think you’ve ever seen. You hadn’t realized how long it’s been since you’ve seen him smile like that. Months? At least.

“Enjoy the show?” you ask as you hop down from your bed.

“Very much,” he says. “Don’t stop on my account.”

You give him a playful glare as you walk over to your mirror. You use your hairbrush/pseudo microphone to get your hair out of your face and looking somewhat presentable.

“How’d the deals go?” you ask as you grab your sneakers.

“Fine. Two usuals so it was quick and painless,” he tells you as you lace up your converse.

Unlike this basketball game will be, you think to yourself.

“Save any for us to use tomorrow?”

“Well, duh. But we’ll have to go somewhere to smoke it. Wayne’s got an old army buddy coming over for dinner,” Eddie says.

“The park?” You take a look at yourself in the mirror and adjust your Iron Maiden shirt. Steve once told you that you should wear school colors to a game. You told him to find you a band t-shirt that had the God-awful orange and green of the basketball uniforms and you would.

“Park sounds good to me,” Eddie says. He pulls on your arm to yank you away from the mirror. “You look perfect, let’s go.”

Your face flushes as you follow Eddie out of your room. Both of you wave to your parents in the living room before heading outside. Climbing into Eddie’s van is second nature at this point, and you make yourself comfortable by putting your sneakered feet up on the dashboard.

Eddie starts the car and Metallica begins blaring through the air. You drum on your knees as Eddie makes the short drive to Hawkins High. Hopefully, Lucas will play tonight. Since he’s been getting better, the coach has been putting him in more. It was great to see his confidence grow.

The parking lot in front of the school is almost as crowded as it would be if school was in session. Eddie slips the van into one of the few empty spots and you both get out. The murmuring from the gym could be heard out in the parking lot. Was this an important game? Was our team doing well this year? You had no idea. You came to most, if not all, of the games, but you hardly paid attention to any of it.

The sounds of the crowd talking loudly to one another, the squeaking of sneakers on the shiny floor, and the cacophony of instruments tuning up in the band section of the bleachers smack you in the face as Eddie opens the gym door for you. You nod to him in thanks before slipping inside. He follows behind you and you wave to Nancy who is on the sidelines with other students from the school paper.

Robin waves and gives you a big smile when you walk past the school band. You blow her a kiss, and she pretends to catch it. In the middle of the bleachers there’s a small gap where you and Eddie could fit. When you get closer to it, you can see it’s empty because Max, Dustin, and Mike have their feet there; their attempt at saving the seat for you guys.

“Finally,” Dustin says. “Thought someone was gonna sit on my feet any second.”

“You better move them quick then,” Eddie says. He moves to sit on the boy’s feet and all three of them bring their legs back to themselves.

From where you’re sitting, the cheerleaders are straight ahead. They’re in your direct line of vision and you get the feeling that your neck is going to be sore tomorrow because you’ll probably spend most of the game looking and talking to Max behind you.

Eddie raises his hand to wave, and you leave your eyes in your lap. You don’t need to see her pretty smile or her bright eyes. Her hair that was never out of place. You reach up to smooth over your own hair self-consciously.

“Stop,” Max says. She’s leaned in towards you so she can whisper in your ear. “Your hair is fine. You look great. And you know he’s going to spend more time talking to you than paying attention to her during the game anyway.”

With a sigh, you turn your head to give her a small smile. She reaches forward and squeezes your shoulder. Your girls knew how you felt about Eddie. With Nancy and Max, they said they had known before you even told them. The pair of them thought it was incredibly obvious to anyone who was paying attention, while Robin was shocked when you told her.

A whistle blows, signaling the start of the game. Your eyes scan the white jerseys moving around the court and on the sidelines. Number eight is standing on the side, hands on his hips and swaying from side to side. From the back, Lucas looks tense and nervous. Maybe this was a big game.

The cheerleaders began with their cheers, the sounds of pompoms crashing against each other catching on the air. Eddie watched the first few cheers before he turned to you.

“I’m already over it,” he says.

“Let me know when Lucas gets out on the court and I’ll care,” you answer him.

“Hey,” Dustin says, popping his head in between yours and Eddie’s. “You hear about the contest down at the bar?”

“What contest?” Eddie asks.

“What bar?” you ask.

Mike breaks his eyes away from the court to join the conversation. “The karaoke bar over by the grocery store.”

“They’re having like, a talent show - karaoke version - or something. I think you win $500,” Dustin says.

“When is it?” Eddie asks. He loved singing in front of people, and if he could win some money in the process, why not?

“Friday, you losers,” Max says, looking at Dustin and Mike. “You seriously didn’t notice that it’s the same night as Hellfire? The end of your campaign?”

“Shit,” Dustin says.

“Damn, that would’ve been fun,” Eddie says. “That’s a pretty big place, too. Nice sized audience.”

“Get up during halftime and sing to this crowd then,” you joke to Eddie.

“Oh God, don’t put that in his head. He’ll do it,” Mike says.

“These people wouldn’t know good music if I blared it in their ears,” Eddie says as he looks around the bleachers. “Ah, look. Harrington with another date. Who’s that one?”

Both you and Max crane your necks to try and see who Steve is with. He’s a few rows higher than you and closer to the band.

“Heidi?” Max asks.

“I don’t think so. Steve said he wouldn’t go on another date with her. Plus, Heidi’s hair is lighter than that,” you say.

Steve catches you and Max looking at him and mimes putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. Max rolls her eyes while you let out a laugh.

“Poor Steve,” you say. “All these girls just aren’t right for him.”

“I keep telling him that he’s gotta figure out what he wants but he never listens to me,” Dustin says.

“Does he listen to anyone?” Max asks.

“Robin, maybe,” you add.

“Has he ever asked you on a date?” Eddie asks you. You furrow your brow in confusion. Why was he asking this? Just curiosity?

“No,” you say. “We’re friends.”

Eddie shrugs. “Sometimes that’s the best thing to be before becoming something more.”

You take a deep breath and feel your stomach clenching.

“I’ve got to use the bathroom,” you say. You stand up and Max stands behind you.

“I’ll come with you,” she says.

The two of you walk out of the gymnasium and into the quiet school hallway. Max stays quiet until she confirms there aren’t any other girls in the bathroom.

“You’re entering that contest,” Max says.

“What?”

“Find a song that expresses what you’re feeling and let it out on stage. You’re good. Good enough to win. And you know the guys won’t see because they’ll be playing DND.”

“I don’t know, Max.” You lean against the sinks and Max leans next to you.

“Oh, come on. You’re telling me a song about wanting someone who you can’t have comes on the radio while you’re driving, and you don’t angry belt it out?” Max asks.

“Yeah, alone in my car,” you say.

“And it’s cathartic, right?”

“I guess.” You shrug and avoid Max’s eyes because you know what’s coming next.

“If that feels good, imagine getting all those emotions and feelings out on stage,” Max says. “I already signed you up.”

You sigh and rub your hands over your face. It makes sense and you hate it. Music has always been your way of expressing yourself. Maybe doing this would help you release some of your anger and sadness.

“Fine,” you finally concede.

“Yes!” Max says. “We’ll bring Nancy and Robin and it’ll be great.”

“No one tells the guys about this, though,” you say. “I don’t need any of the headache that would come with that.”

“My lips are sealed,” Max says.

 After the game, in which Lucas made the game winning shot, friends and family mingled with the players and cheerleaders. You would’ve gone with the others to talk to Lucas if Eddie hadn’t all but steered you in the direction of Chrissy. His hand was on the small of your back and you’d let him lead you anywhere like that. Even here.

“Eddie!” Chrissy calls. She runs forward and wraps her arms around his neck. He wraps his around her small waist and lifts her up, her short skirt riding up her ass. You divert your eyes from the pair of them, scanning the rest of the crowd for your friends.

“You were great,” Eddie is telling her. “And you looked so hot.”

Your fists clench and your fingernails are digging hard enough into your palms to draw blood.

“Like you even watched me,” Chrissy says with a laugh. “I saw you talking the whole time.”

Eddie frowns and his brows pinch together. “I did watch you.”

“Okay,” she says as she gives him a pat on the arm. It’s the condescending tone that’s dripping from her voice that makes you speak up.

“He pointed out to us in the third period when you did the new cheer. The one you came up with when you became cheer captain,” you say. You bite back from adding, “So, see? He pays attention to you even though you’re horrible to him and he deserves far better than you could ever be.”

Chrissy turns, looking at you as if she just noticed you were there. “Oh, hi.”

“Hi,” you respond, trying to keep the venom in your voice to a minimum.

She turns back to Eddie and wraps her arms around his neck. “I’m hungry. Can we go get pizza?”

Eddie glances at you out of the corner of his eye before looking back at her. “Uh, I hadn’t planned on that. I was going to give y/n a ride home.”

Chrissy pouts and it doesn’t suit her. Her lip goes too far out and her eyes scrunch in a way that looks more painful than sad.

“But I hardly got to see you today. Can’t she get a ride with someone else?” Chrissy asks.

“Don’t talk about her as if she’s not here,” Eddie says, pulling back from her a little. Her pout turns to a glare as she looks at him.

“It’s fine,” you say, taking a few steps back. You didn’t want to make this worse for Eddie and you certainly didn’t want to be stuck in the van with the two of them.

“But…” Eddie trails off.

“It’s okay,” you say, though your heart is telling you the opposite. “Go get pizza.”

He frowns deeper but nods his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here.” You give him a small smile before disappearing into the crowd.

Hopefully, Steve didn’t drive his date here and she had her own way home. You look through the mass of bodies for the familiar head of brown hair but come up empty. You don’t see a baseball cap with curls spilling out of it or a redhead either.

With a sigh, you walk to the doors. You head out into the dark evening, the stars and moon shining bright down on Hawkins this night. Most of the parking lot has cleared out and you don’t see a car you recognize other than the big brown van that used to bring you so much comfort.

Home is only six miles away, so you decide to walk. It’s a chilly night and you wrap your arms around yourself, hands rubbing up and down your arms that are bare in your t-shirt. You’ve made the walk before and you estimate it will take you about two hours. Thankful that you wore your most comfortable sneakers, you head up the hill and off school property.

The streets are quiet and dark, which unsettles you. Weird things happen in Hawkins all the time and you’d wager this is how a lot of them started. After walking two miles, a total of three cars have passed you by. You were almost more afraid when you saw the cars coming towards you rather than walking alone in the darkness.

You hear a car coming from behind and you take a step closer to the tree line and out of the road since the driver probably can’t see you.

“Y/n?”

You look back and Robin is hanging out the passenger window of Steve’s car.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Walking home,” you say as if it was a normal occurrence. Maybe if you act as if this wasn’t that big of a deal, they’d believe it.

“In the dark? Alone? At night? Are you insane?” Robin says. The driver door opens and Steve steps out. He walks over to you and looks at you in concern.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine.”

“Where’s Eddie?”

“He, um. Well, Chrissy wanted pizza. So, I said I’d get another ride, but I couldn’t find one. And home isn’t too far.” You shrug, not meeting his eyes.

Steve rests his hands on his hips and sighs. His typical mom stance.

“Come on. I’ll drive you home. You’re going to have to pile in though.” He doesn’t give you a chance to argue, wrapping an arm around you and guiding you to the car. “Jesus, you’re freezing. You know, you could’ve called me. Or Robin or Max or Dustin or Mike.”

Steve opens the back door, and the three younger faces look back at you. Max scoots over until she’s sitting on Dustin’s lap.

“I don’t know how I feel about this,” Dustin says. He raises his arms in the air so he isn’t touching Max at all.

You slide in and Steve closes the door behind you. Dustin refuses to look at anyone, cheeks flushing. You can’t help the small smile on your face as you tug Max over to sit on your lap instead. She settles easily enough and rests her head against the window.

The car smells like fried food and you find out why when Mike holds a bag out in front of you.

“Burger? Fries?” he offers. “Or…” he rummages around in bags between his feet. “Onion rings.”

“Toss one,” you tell him. He smiles as you open your mouth and tries to throw the fried onion inside. Surprisingly, he makes it, which makes the four of you in the back cheer.

Robin gets dropped off first, her living the closest to school. She grabs her band hat and trumpet out of the trunk and waves before she disappears inside her house. Dustin takes the opportunity to jump into the front seat. Technically, Max should’ve been the next one dropped off, but Steve kept driving straight past the trailer park. Max didn’t say a word, knowing why Steve was avoiding the neighborhood for now.

“Why didn’t Nancy drive you home?” you ask Mike as Steve pulls into the Wheeler driveway.

“Because she’s a priss and has to stay late to work on the stupid paper,” he says.

“Hey!” Both you and Steve yell at the same time as he scrambles out of the car.

“You try living with her,” he says before waving his hand in a goodbye.

Your house is next, and you sag in relief when it comes into view. You hadn’t been expecting to see it for at least another hour at the rate you were walking before.

“Thanks for the ride, Steve,” you say. “I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime that idiot leaves you high and dry just call me,” Steve says, looking at you in the rear-view mirror. You smile to yourself, thinking this must be what it’s like to have a big brother. You now understand why the kids all gravitated towards him.

“Thanks,” you repeat as you get out of the car. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” you say to Max and Dustin. They wave as you head up to your door.

 School the next day is weird. People are excited because the basketball team won; so, the halls were buzzing with that energy. But most people were tired as well, having stayed up later than usual to come to the game. It all gives you a nice cover for how you’re feeling. You feel sluggish and irritated. Though you can’t put your finger on the exact reason why, you knew the people it could be blamed on.

Eddie leans up against the locker next to yours between second and third period as you’re exchanging your books out.

“You didn’t text me last night,” he says.

“What?” you ask, not looking at him.

“When you got home. You didn’t text me to let me know you got home okay.”

“You didn’t ask me to,” you point out.

He frowns. “I didn’t think I had to. It’s just kind of something we do.”

“Well, sorry, I guess.” You close your locker and turn to him. “Was there something else?”

“Are you mad at me?” he asks. His big puppy dog eyes are shining and it’s truly your damn kryptonite.

You take a deep breath. “No.” You don’t know if that’s really true or not, though.

“You’re sure?” Eddie raises his eyebrows at you.

“I’m sure,” you lie.

“Are we still on for the park later?” he asks, hope glimmering in his eyes.

“Of course,” you say, eager to see him relax.

“Perfect. I’ve got everything in my backpack already to go.” The weed, he means. You can’t think of a better day to get high than today.  

 School simultaneously drags on and ends too quickly. Chrissy has cheer practice, so you don’t have to deal with her while you walk to Eddie’s van. Once inside, he cranks Sweet Child O’ Mine because he knows it’s one of your favorites. When you don’t hum along or even tap your foot along to the beat, he knows something is up.

He parks the van across the street from the park and grabs his backpack.

“Ready?” he asks.

You nod in affirmation and hop out. The two of you walk down the street to the crosswalk. Normally you’d just jay-walk to cross the street, but this intersection was notorious for pedestrian injuries. When you get your signal that it’s okay to cross, Eddie trips and you hear the ripping of material. You look down and see he’s ripped his own jeans by stepping on the hem of them while walking. The tear that was at his knee has now tripled in size and he could easily stick his whole leg through it. You giggle to yourself, and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief at the sound.

The two of you find your usual bench at the park and claim it. It’s hidden by a copse of trees so it’s easier to hide your illicit activities, but still allows you a good view of the park.

Eddie pulls out the two joints he’d rolled and lights one before handing it to you. Though you were used to the sickeningly bitter odor, it didn’t mean you liked it. You wrinkle your nose before raising the bud to your lips. You inhale, letting the burn curl down your throat and into your lungs. You were pretty good at not coughing by now. The first few times you’d ended up in total tears because of the intense hacking.

Eddie takes a hit of his own joint and rests his head against the back of the bench, blowing smoke straight up towards the sky. He closes his eyes and you take the time to admire him. He’d forgone the denim vest today and just settled on his leather jacket over his hellfire shirt. Hints of stubble were starting to appear on his chin and his lips were a little chapped. His long, dark eyelashes kiss his cheeks as his eyes move under his closed lids. He’s so beautiful it physically aches you.

He opens his eyes and turns his head to smile at you. It’s a real Eddie smile and it warms your heart. It’s so rare these days but it’s so bright it could rival the moon at night.

“What’re you thinking about?” he asks.

“The moon,” you say.

Eddie chuckles and takes another hit. “Oh yeah?” He releases the smoke. “What about it?”

“It’s so bright. But you only notice the brightness at night.” You came up with it off the top of your head, but it sounded good to you. You raise your joint to your mouth for another puff.

“Like some people I guess,” Eddie says. He doesn’t sound like he’s finished talking so you wait. “Sometimes you don’t see how amazing some people are until everything else around you dims, but they don’t. They’re still there bright and shining.”

It could be that he’s having a profound thought about his life, or the pot is kicking in, so you can’t be sure.

“I want to go to the moon,” you say. Eddie laughs and you can tell both of you are feeling the effects now.

His laugh is infectious and causes you to start laughing as well. You curl in on yourself, abdominal muscles starting to cramp, and you slide to the side to lay across Eddie’s lap.

“Eds?” you ask, eyes staring up at the clouds above.

“Mm?”

“I miss you.”

He frowns down at you and pokes your forehead with his ringed index finger.

“I’m right here, silly head.”

“I know,” you say.

“I like when we talk,” Eddie says. His head is moving all around, taking in all the sights in the park around you. There are a few squirrels scampering up the tree closest to you. Birds sing in the distance and the laughter of kids comes from the playground a few hundred feet away.

“I like it too,” you say. “It’s so easy to talk to you.”

“Always has been. Since we met.”

“You’re my favorite person,” you tell him.

He grins and drops his head down to look at you. “More than Timothée Chalamet?”

“Mhmm,” you hum in confirmation.

“Wow,” Eddie says with a laugh. “That’s saying something.”

The two of you decide to lay in the grass as you let the pot work through your system. Eddie won’t be able to drive for a while anyway, so you take advantage of the nice day.

“I had a weird dream last night,” Eddie says.

“Yeah? Tell me.”

“I was playing at The Hideout. But when I looked down, I was playing the wrong guitar. It was a nice guitar. It was gold and smooth and sounded beautiful. But it wasn’t my guitar. I put the gold guitar down and tried to find mine. I started freaking out because I thought I lost it. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it.”

“Did you find it?” you ask.

“I did. But some guy was playing it and it made me so mad.”

“What guy?” You let your heavy eyes droop closed.

“M’not sure. He didn’t look familiar. Could’ve been anyone, I guess. But he was playing my guitar and I wanted it back. But he said I was too late. And it made me really really sad.”

You frown and reach over to take Eddie’s hand in yours. “It’s okay, Eddie. No one is going to take your guitar away. Why would it want to leave you?”

 The high lasted a few hours and by the time Eddie got you home for dinner, the munchie effect was still going strong. You devoured the lasagna your mom put down in front of you. The bloodshot look had faded from your eyes, so you were just hoping your parents thought you were extra hungry today for some reason.

 You should’ve gone to sleep hours ago. It would’ve been easy; you always slept better on days when you got high with Eddie. But you still hadn’t picked a song to sing at the karaoke competition. Your head was in the middle of your bed, and you rested your legs up against the wall over your headboard. You scroll and scroll through playlists, trying to find a song that expresses what you’ve been feeling.

The sound of brakes squeaking makes you move your legs down and sit up on your bed. Your phone tells you that it’s 3:17am. You walk over to your window and see Eddie walking around the side of your house. You frown at him, and he notices you up in your window. You point towards the back door and Eddie nods.

Eddie would sometimes come by in the middle of the night, but he’d usually text first. You creep down the stairs as quietly as you can, avoiding any creaks. Your cat picks his head up from where he’s sleeping on the top of the couch to see what you’re up to. He decides he doesn’t care though and adjusts himself into a new comfortable position to fall back asleep.

Luckily, your dad had fixed it so the back door didn’t stick anymore when you tried to open it. It glides open silently and Eddie steps inside.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” you whisper to him.

He nods but he won’t meet your eyes. You frown and take his hand in yours. As you walk back past your cat, he picks his head up again and deems Eddie worthy of his affection. Eddie scratches his head two times before following you up the stairs.

You pull him into your room and quietly close the door behind you.

“What’s up?” you ask him.

He shrugs and sits on the edge of your bed. “Didn’t want to be alone.”

The sheets are messy, and you crawl on top of them, making yourself comfortable against the mountain of pillows against your headboard. Eddie glances back before leaning backwards so his head ends up in your lap. You start to play with his hair. You haven’t done this in a while, and it warms your heart. His eyes drift closed, and you think he’s fallen asleep until he quietly kicks his boots off so he can pull his legs up on the bed as well.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask.

He opens his eyes and stares at your ceiling. “I feel confused.”

“About what?”

“That’s the thing. Everything.”

You frown and trace your pinky finger along one of his curls. “Elaborate?”

“I don’t know how,” he says. “Feel like everything is upside down. I feel like I want things to go back to normal, but I don’t know what’s changed to make me think things aren’t normal. Am I making sense?”

“Sort of,” you say.

His eyes begin to water, and it breaks your heart. You’d give anything to be able to fix what’s wrong, but he doesn’t seem to know.

“Where do I belong?” he asks.

“Here,” you say without hesitation. “Here with me and your uncle and Dustin and all your friends. Here with your favorite guitar and your band and your loud as all hell van.”

That makes him chuckle and your heart feels ten pounds lighter. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again.

“Did you miss something on that list? Or someone?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” you say carefully. “Did I?”

He licks over his lips before answering. “I don’t believe you did. I think that was a pretty complete list. Doesn’t need anyone else.”

“No?” you ask.

He opens his eyes and shakes his head. “She reamed me out for an hour before because I hadn’t bought prom tickets yet.”

“I didn’t even know they were on sale,” you say. You’re trying to keep your voice calm for him, but it’s proving difficult.

“Neither did I,” he says. “But she goes on and on about how she already bought her dress and the, and I’m quoting here, ‘the prettiest high heels in the world.’”

“Shouldn’t she have waited until, you know…at least until you asked?”

“Right?” he huffs out. He runs his hands over his face, and you start to play with the small curls along his forehead. “I’ve got to end it.”

“I think so,” you say in a small voice.

He tilts his head up so he can look at you. “Friday, yeah? Tomorrow I’ve got a test, so I don’t want the stress added to that. I need to pass this class.”

“Biology again?” you ask. “I thought you were doing better.”

“I am, but I won’t if I bomb this test.”

“You should probably get some sleep then.” You almost said “go home and get some sleep” but that’s not what you really want. He nods and goes to sit up, but you catch his arm.

“Here?” he asks.

You shrug and slide yourself under the covers. “Why not? I don’t have cooties. I got the shot.”

He smiles and shrugs out of his leather jacket before sliding in the bed next to you. Your heart races as his head lays on the pillow next to yours, noses almost touching.

“Goodnight,” he whispers.

“Goodnight.”

 On Friday, you only get to see Eddie between second and third period at your locker. His plan is to have lunch with Chrissy outside and break up with her then. Your paths don’t cross after lunch, and he has Hellfire and you’re meeting with the girls to get ready for the karaoke contest right after school. Your stomach will be in knots until you find out how it went.

Nancy dusts your eyelids with silver eyeshadow as you sit on your bed. Max and Robin go through your closet, deciding what you should wear tonight.

“No, that might be see-through under the lights.”

“What about this?”

“It clashes with the silver eyeshadow.”

“Any texts from Eddie?” Nancy asks quietly as she cleans up the edges.

“No,” you breathe out with a sigh. “But he’s never on his phone during Hellfire. I think that would be blasphemous in there.”

Nancy hums her agreement.

“We’ve got one!” Robin announces.

You open your eyes to see Max holding a royal blue dress that accentuates your curves and feels silky smooth against your skin. You wrinkle your nose at them.

“It doesn’t go,” you say.

“With what?” Max asks.

“My song!”

“Oh, you’re right,” Robin says.

“Fine, fine,” Max says. She puts the dress back in the closet and starts to dig through your drawers.

“I hope there are no sex toys in here,” Robin says as she joins Max.

You roll your eyes as Nancy touches up your eyeliner.

“Jeans,” Nancy says as she works. “She should wear jeans and a t-shirt.”

“That’s what she wears every day,” Robin says.

“Exactly,” you and Nancy say at the same time.

“Okay, fine,” Robin acquiesces. “But what one?”

“Iron Maiden?” Max asks as she picks one out of the drawer. “There’s also Guns ‘n Roses, Black Sabbath, Metallica. Geez, any from this century?”

“Corroded Coffin,” you say. Max looks at you and grins.

“Where is it?” she asks.

“Top drawer.”

Robin and Max pick out the best jeans to go with your favorite tee. Nancy tells you to get dressed before she fixes your hair. She doesn’t do much, just spray a little product in it and tussle it up.

“Perfect,” she says.

 You pace back and forth backstage. You’re not exactly nervous. Not about the singing, anyway. About letting your feelings channel through you in this way. It was a vulnerability you’d never shared before. Even if the audience just thought you’d picked this song because you liked it, you and your friends knew the truth.

The girl on stage now is singing Madonna and you take deep breaths to settle yourself.

 “Hey.”

Nancy jumps at the voice in her ear. She turns her head to see Eddie sliding into the seat next to her. Her eyes widen comically, and Eddie raises an eyebrow at her.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here either, but do I look like a ghost or something?”

“What are you doing here?” Robin demands from the other side of Nancy. Someone in the crowd shushes her, but she doesn’t care. “You’re supposed to be at Hellfire.”

Eddie shrugs with a devious smile and Dustin plops down in the seat on the other side of him.

“His stupid campaign wiped us out in the first half hour,” Dustin says. “We remembered this was happening, so we figured we’d catch the last half.”

Max’s leg bounces nervously on Robin’s other side and Eddie notices the motion.

“What’s wrong, Red?” She raises her eyebrows and shakes her head at him. “Wait, where’s y/n?” he asks.

Robin leans in to whisper in Max’s ear. “Do we have time to warn her?”

“No,” Max whispers back. “She’s up next.”

“Maybe she won’t see with all the lights,” Nancy leans over to add.

Robin groans and drops her head in her hands.

The girl wraps up singing Papa Don’t Preach and the audience claps politely. The manager steps out on the stage and reads from a clipboard.

“Next up we have y/n y/l/n.”

Eddie’s jaw drops before a huge smile forms on his face. He was going to get to hear you sing again. Finally.

You step onstage and Eddie’s taken aback. He didn’t expect an elaborate outfit or anything of the sort but seeing you in a Corroded Coffin shirt took him by surprise.

The music begins and the notes tickle his brain. He knows this song. He knows that he knows it because of Chrissy, even if he can’t place it. Why would you choose this song?

You grip the mic tightly in your grip and lift it to your mouth.

“You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset. She's going off about something that you said, ‘cause she doesn't get your humor like I do.”

It’s Taylor Swift, Eddie recognizes. This confuses him even further. What was it you said about her music?

“I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night. I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like, and she'll never know your story like I do.”

You feel your confidence picking up as you keep going. Looking at the audience doesn’t seem like a good idea, so you keep your eyes vague as they move across the open space in front of you. It feels good to have a microphone in your hand.

“But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts. She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time.”

Eddie’s stunned to his seat. His jaw hangs open as he recalls what you said. It was like Taylor Swift took a page out of your diary and wrote a song about it. There was no mistaking what and who this song was about. Even for someone who knew how dense he could be at times.

“If you could see that I'm the one who understands you. Been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

The grin that spreads across your face is freeing. You never knew being vulnerable could feel this good. You’re sharing your heart with the people in the audience and most of them have no idea.

“Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans, I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be. Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself, ‘Hey, isn't this easy?’ And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town, I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down. You say you're fine, I know you better than that. Hey, what you doing with a girl like that?”

All three of your friends in the audience are caught between watching you work the stage like you were born for it and looking over at Eddie to gauge his reaction. Nancy notices the way his hands are gripping the armrests and she doesn’t know what that means.

“She wears high heels, I wear sneakers. She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time. If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me.”

You catch a flash of red hair in the audience, and it widens your smile. So that’s where your friends are out there. You’ll have to get a good look at them when singing the next part.

“Standing by and waiting at your backdoor, all this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

There’s a small instrumental break and you take the opportunity to lower the mic and look at the row your friends are in. But your eyes catch a very familiar pair of brown ones and your veins ice over and your stomach bottoms out. Eddie’s staring at you with those eyes and they’re enough to make you melt on the spot without all the lights on you adding to the heat. You try not to let it break your stride on stage. Spinning on the sole of your shoe, you face the back of the stage to compose your face and take a deep breath. You continue. The show must go on.

“Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night. I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry. And I know your favorite songs, and you tell me 'bout your dreams. Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me.”

You realize it’s all out in the open now. The Band-Aid has been ripped off and you might as well finish the song off strong. It’s easy to find Eddie’s eyes in the audience, wide as they are, and you keep eye contact as you sing the next part.

“Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? Been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me.”

Eddie isn’t fully sure he’s awake. This has to be a dream, right? He’d pinch himself if he were able to move a muscle. Your eyes boring into his and baring your soul to him. There’s pressure on the back of his eyes and a fist clenching around his heart. How long have you been hurting over this?

“Standing by and waiting at your backdoor all this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

Adrenaline is coursing through your body and you’re already worried about what’s going to happen when it wears off. You wish the song wouldn’t end so you don’t have to leave the stage and deal with whatever comes after.

“You belong with me. Have you ever thought just maybe, you belong with me? You belong with me.”

The cheers and applause are white noise to you. There’s only one other person in the room and he hasn’t moved a muscle; not even on his shocked face.

You give the crowd the best smile you can before exiting the stage. You drop the mic on a table and find the most isolated corner of the backstage that you can. Resting your head against the wall and taking big, deep breaths is all you can focus on.

Hands land gently on your shoulders, but you still jump. You spin around quickly and come face to face with the one person you no longer knew how to talk to. His big brown eyes are wide and glassy. He’s never resembled a baby cow more than he does in this moment. His mouth keeps opening and closing, as if he wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say. That makes two of you.

“I didn’t know,” he finally says.

You close your eyes and nod. “I know. I didn’t want you to.”

Eddie shakes his head. “That’s not, um. That’s not what I meant.” He squeezes his eyes closed and licks over his lips. “I didn’t know. But she did.”

Your brow pinches in confusion and you shake your head. “I don’t understand.” The last thing you thought would be happening right now is Eddie trying to explain something to you.

“When I broke up with Chrissy.” Eddie sees the wince on your face at her name and it breaks his heart. How had he never noticed before? “She knew I loved you. She said she knew from day one. That’s why I didn’t text you right after I did it. I needed to think. About how true it was.”

“And?” The word barely squeaks out of you. Every nerve in your body was on edge, awaiting his response.

“After that?” Eddie gestures to the stage. “How could I have any doubt?”

His hand cups the back of your head gently and brings your mouth against his. His other hand snakes around your waist and your arms automatically come up to encircle his neck. It’s a gentle kiss, but it gets across all the emotions floating between the two of you. Relief, joy, love, excitement, fear, to name a few.

Eddie’s lips dance across yours again and again. You pull him closer, and he gets the hint, his tongue coming out to glide across your bottom lip. You happily part your lips for him.

“Y/n y/l/n….y/n y/l/n…y/n y/l/n?”

Eddie finally realizes your name is being called and pulls back from your lips. You whine and go to chase them, but Eddie chuckles and points towards the stage.

“Babe, I think you won,” he says.

You grin, never taking your eyes off him. You cup his jaw and lean in to press a soft kiss against his lips.

“Oh, I know I did.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfic

[lovl3igh]

alicent as a mother is always so intensive subject, cause where tg refuse to admit that alicent was a bad mother, tb don't give her justice in reasons why that happened (it's not general, both teams has exceptions ofc)

tg defend her saying it's not her fault, she was used, she didn't want those children, they forced her, but was it said otherwise? yes, she was bad mother because of her own trauma and assault she experienced but she was still a bad mother. having an "excuse" don't change that

and not every time that someone said she is not a good parent, they need to add why. no need for assuming that person who says it, doesn't know the reasons. they can say why alicent became bad parent or the way alicent shows bad parenting or that she is just that, bad mother, they can say all of it or just one thing. all of that coexists

before I'll start: there's most stuff from the show, but there's book spoilers, maybe that will be also show cannon in the future, I dunno, sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language

we have evidence of her being basically sold by her father, sa'd by viserys, forced to birth one child by another. she was motherless child forced to becoming a mother before she was ready. she was not a fan of her children, we see her unhappy with them, and when she speaks it's about dry facts like the labour and not her feelings. she does not care for them that way, which is fine bc she not wished for them and she's still a child herself, but that's a fact

we see her later with her kids and again we cannot say she became better while becoming older. she sees them as her duty (her worst enemy), her responsibility and also (admit it or not) way to put rhaenyra down. otto said to her way before jace was born that he wants aegon on the throne, he already could be accused of treason but alicent remained silent and later she acts the same way. she puts on aegon big pressure, responsibilities and also involves him in act of treason (because again she thinks it's her duty to the realm)

what's more she abuses him physically and mentally. we see her beating him more than once, screaming or neglacting him (all of that are forms of abuse). blames him for aemond's losing an eye while it was her responsibility to watch her kid or a servant and guards', not his (you can say also viserys', there was never a dispute if he's a good father, we know he isn't, it's about alicent only discussion then)

aegon in his 20s has to ask his mother if he's being loved, how sick is that? that he drowns in need of attention? (you can say he deserves all of this but the truth is alicent - and viserys ofc - failed to raise him well and now she fails to punish him, cause he should be sent to the wall, instead she beats him and let's him be a monster to another girl, now as a "king". all not to protect him but to protect his reputation, all she does there is bc of her sense of duty)

helaena hates being touched by her own mother, why wouldn't she? child bride alicent did the same to her daughter, knowing what a menace her son is. she does not understand haelena, she forces her to early marriage, childbirting, unhappy life. (and be fr, haelena might not like touching generally but 1. it's speaks even worse about alicent who touches her againts her will and married her to sexual predator, 2. she didn't mind being touched by jace who not really knowing his aunt was far more gentle)

absence of daeron would say more about their relation if not for long time skips, the truth is sending away little child is a form of neglacting however we do not know if they were in touch and how often. i know it's a common practise, i am glad that baela was at least sent to her loving grandmother in her later childhood, but I still do not like the whole ward thing and i won't comment on it in daeron's case, cause we did not see it here how was it done

I will speak about aemond x alicent relation though which is by far the most interesting. he is the only one we can say that he loves his mother and cares for her which doesn't automatically means she was a good mother for him. for the dynamic he observes alicent needs protection from men around her (rightfully so) and decides to lie to the king to protect her. not only he usually lives meeting her expectations (ekhem ekhem not anymore ig) but can initiate his actions to please her even if that means he'll go against his own wishes (searching for aegon to make him a king)

the fact is he was much miserable for not having dragons AND for being bullied. yet two things we have: first alicent as queen could easily arrange aemond going to dragonstone to claim dragon or take rhaenyra's deal to have syrax's egg. second - she blames velaryon boys as if she wasn't the one who destroyed good relations between kids and as if aegon weren't bellwether for bullying actions (YES, JACE AND LUKE ARE GUILTY TOO, but we discuss here alicent dynamics with her kids, so I point her fault right now) and she raised one child to bully others, his own siblings

then we have the children's fight and aemond loses his eyes. one of the best scene when alicent attacks rhaenyra, 10/10 love everything here. that's gonna sound harsh but alicent's behaviour here screams about duty too. it shouldn't at all, her child just lost his eye, her priority should be to comfort him. instead she wants rhaenyra to take responsibility for having bastards (that's not the case), aegon for not taking care of aemond (it's her responsibility), viserys to admitting her own sacrifices weren't for nothing. she put here herself and her needs above aemond, she used his wounds to attack rhaenyra and her children (no, I do not say she didn't care aemond got hurt, don't put words in my mouth)

"if the king won’t seek justice the queen will" she wants so called "justice", but stated by her only, where's justice in taking child's eye after accident? would she also break aemond nose for "justice"? if he'd killed luke or jace, would she call for killing aemond? it's not caring mother, it's the queen wanting revenge cause she doesn't like princess' privileges (and also privilege that bastards here have). she calms down when she realizes that she went too far, "neglected her duty", that's not aemond's doing (and also fcked up that her assaulted child feels that he needs to calm her down)

"she was ready to die for her children" desperate actions in the worst scenarios to not matter that much with previous behaviour, especially since her children were doubting if she would do that for them in the first place (that ig you can take as opinion, but if mother abuses child for years how much does it counts if she gives up her life for this child?)

regarding rhaenyra she doesn't understand a good mother patterns as well. she either doesn't care nyra will suffer or doesn't understand that mother who just gave a birth to a child, will not send it away even for a second. she doesn't care or understand mother will not allow for taking her child's eye for "duty". she doesn't understand that bastards are not any less worthy of love. her view of motherhood is sacrifising herself, not enjoying what she can

perhaps she did not know any better, her mother was a child bride (forced by old pedo otto) just like her, she did the same to helaena and unfortunately later that happened to jaehaera. she was abused in many ways but later also became an abuser. and all that because she thought life is about duty and sacrifice. she had every reason to be bad mother and she became one but that it should be seen as a fact while some of you see it as an opinion and criticism

if you read all of that - seven hells okay

#her worst enemy but there's also otto lmao #young alicent defender #older alicent hater #whyyy did they put her through it #otto when i catch you #anti alicent hightower #anti alicent stans #alicent hightower #hotd #house of the dragon #aegon the elder #aemond targaryen #daeron targaryen #anti otto hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #otto hightower #anti viserys targaryen #viserys targaryen #anti aegon ii targaryen #helaena targaryen

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑆𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑀𝑒

Summary: Remus loved Defence Against The Dark Arts, even though every year, he would have to listen to his class and their hateful words about werewolves. What they said was right, and he was getting worse, everyone was worried but they didn't know what to do.

Who knew, all it took was a kind spirit reminding him of his homeworks and bringing him chocolate?

Warnings: General hate about werewolves, self-deprecating thoughts, mentions of thinking of "unaliving"

Inspiration: this, this

A/N: Tiktok should be banned for me, really. Every time I see a cool pov video, I get inspired and that's why I have a bunch of unfinished works but still start a new one *sighs angrily*

Remus Lupin was your rival.

That was a fact almost everyone one in the whole school knew.

It wasn't an unpleasant one that would make everyone cower in fear, or get uncomfortable around you two. It wasn't the kind of rivalry which would end with pranking the other one or scare the hell out of you by suddenly appearing beside you.

It was a sweet one, where you two would sit together in the library with candy and chocolate covered lips as you both studied and made bets who was going to get the higher grade.

Remus, naturally, was someone friendly and even cute, dare you said. With the mop of brown hair and big eyes that twinkled with mischief- not many knew but he was actually the mastermind of the best pranks they did- you knew, because he often explained those pranks to you in the middle of your study session in which you had to stiffle your giggles because how much chaotic the school would become sooner and unknown to you, he would try to hide his blush at your cute reactions too.

The first time you noticed him, was when you both answered one of the questions of Slughorn at the same time. You looked at him with squeezed eyes and a slight hmph, a playful smile over your face as you made a mental note to talk to the boy who was way too shy to look you in the eye after class.

But the first time he noticed you was the very first day of coming to the Great Hall and staring at you laughing to your heart's content at one of Sirius' corny jokes. The sight made him blush slightly, something that would become more intense through the years, but also remind him that he would never be the reason of that laugh.

After all, seeing his crush laughing with his bestfriend who every girl had a crush on and would giggle and blush at wasn't an ideal sight for an insecure boy like him to watch through the years. He never blamed Sirius, though he often wondered how he was able to get all the girls of the school around him even with that flirty, Casanova persona of his.

And, as the self-destructive boy he was, he often pushed aside his friends' teasings about how you always eyed him and stared longingly, so sickly in love at the scarred boy.

"No way that she is looking at me, Pads. She is looking at you." He pointed to where you were sitting as usual, reading, without even looking up, making James whistle teasingly at him.

"And how do you know that, Moony? You didn't even look up~" James smiled as Remus sighed out tiredly and lifted his head to answer the boy...

But instead was met the shining eyes of yours catching his own across the Hall.

"Aaand just like that, we have lost our Moony for good, mates." Sirius teased him as he leaned back like a proud mother but soon found himself falling, pulling James with himself when he wanted to grab him for balance, and made both of them fall on their butts.

"Dude, not cool! What if I broke my glasses and my precious lilyflower saw me and..."

But Remus didn't even listen to them, their words becoming blurry as he stared at you with his own shining eyes.

He was impressed, and a little bit bashful, at how intensely you were looking at him and how... in love you looked. His heart started to beat faster and harder, his sweater suddenly became too much for him and he had to fan himself quietly. He wasn't even doing anything remotely different like Sirius who often winked at the girls and blew kisses at them with a charming smile!

He was the same boy who chose to read his book as his friends goofed around, the same shy boy who couldn't look a girl in the eye- especially his longtime crush who was also a "rival" at this point-, the same boy who studied and then gave a last-minute lecture to his friends so that they could pass...

But also the same boy who thought himself to be a monster who deserved nothing good in life.

You frowned when his eyes downcasted and he didn't even nod his head at you. No smile, no acknowledging.

Nothing.

You nervously shuffled on your seat as he continued to read his book, though his eyes stayed fixed on one page and you were sure he wasn't reading but instead was pretending. Though you were saddened by his actions, you were also proud of yourself for being able to hold eye contact longer than the last time and got a reaction out of him without bursting into a fierce blush yourself, you were worried about Remus.

You knew how smart Remus was, you saw it firsthand at Slughorn's test or the Charms lessons when you both answered the question at the same time. Or that when time in Minnie's class when you both were the first ones to achieve performing Evanesco and then later Vera Verto in the same lesson, and earned praises from the stern yet soft you two's favourite teacher.

A rare occurance by itself.

But he wasn't just as academical smart. He was also emotionally smart too. You weren't sure if it was about him being silent and often watching around himself, but for some reasons, he always knew what mood people were in.

He always knew when you were feeling overwhelmed, for example. He would come with your favourite sweets and some water to keep you hydrated since you often forgot, and though he used to scowl at those times, you knew he cared for you.

His worry and wide, caring eyes gave it away even if he tried to hide.

He is really so pretty, so handsome, so caring is what passed your mind as you sighed out lovingly. You knew he was insecure of the scars decorating his face and body, you knew he often stayed away from you or didn't touch you in fear of disgusting you with his touch. How absurd, you thought while eating your dish. He doesn't even know how smart he is, how lovely his smile was and how elegant he looked under one of the trees near the lake, hand holding his book gracefully-

Oh, you were so in love with him it hurt.

But then again, you two were nothing but friends, friendly rivals. Besides, talking to the Marauders took a huge toll on you by how... intense they could get, especially if pranks are included, so you kept your distance most of the times but instead spend time with the calmer one in the quiet confines of the library.

But lately... He had been sadder than normal, more quiet and kept to himself, he fiddled with his hands more than usual, picked on his nail more than he did and made them bleed painfully. You always carried cottons and bandaids for him solely for that reason and had they not run out of stock, you wouldn't even realize it.

And it worried you, not being enough to comfort him.

Because you were obviously at that state where you were more than friends but below lovers. You couldn't exactly go up to him and demand answers but also couldn't leave him to suffer. Maybe it was the secret he kept from everyone, or something concerning his family... Why were you so concerned anyways? He wasn't anything to you, though the soft exchanges between you, the shy touches of hands under the table and stares you gave to each other, the way he hugged you close to himself whenever you fell asleep accidently on the table said other wise...

A few more days, you thought bitterly as you collected your things and left the Hall in hurry to go to your next lesson.

A few more days, and if things don't go for the better, I will talk to him...

As his group of friends watched you walk away silently, they angrily turned to Remus and put a pause to their bickering- which said enough about the importance of the situation at hand- as they exclaimed how he could do that to his future spouse and their sibling-in-law.

Which they deserved to be hit with a bludger, and then hang upside down on on the ole of course, right straight in their skull for.

This was for the better, he thought painfully as he slowly put his books back in his bag with a frown. With slow steps, he would make you dislike him enough to stay away and save yourself from the misery that was him.

Remus never let anyone know about it, even though his friends already did from how fond he grew of you, but to him...You were a miracle.

A miracle that lightened his dark and empty life.

All his life, especially after his condition, he had come to make a peace with the fact that he wasn't and would never be normal in people's eyes. He knew how people viewed werewolfs, how they despised and even feared them and he didn't blame them.

He also feared himself and what he was capable of doing.

He had seen what he could to in his wolf form, to both himself and those who deemed as family. When he turned, he wasn't the same kind boy everyone thought him to be. He wasn't the same boy you had come to have feelings for, both of you laying your heads on the hard surface of the table in the library and dozing of together, though he secretly watched you with an easy mind and peaceful smile.

He was a monster that could end your life in less than a second.

Therefore, he pushed and pushed everyone away to protect both himself and others whenever the Full Moon came and he was turned to a bloodthirsty, carnal monster. The last thing he wanted was to hurt the only people who he cared about, the only people who knew his biggest secret but still chose to love him and stay next to him.

The Marauders and above all you, were the most important thing in his life. They were already deep in this mess anyways, but he wouldn't taint your happiness and innocence with a disgusting person such as himself. For the longest time, he pushed his friends' teasing remark about how he was smitten by you- even though they never said your name bir he still knew it- and how you also felt the same for the boy beyond that academic rivalry.

Making friendships was already hard enough for him, he needed months to just to open up to them about normal, mundane things! You and him didn't talk that much outside of those "Study Dates" as Sirius and James called it with wiggling brows, even if he wanted to talk to you about anything and everything like any other person.

Like, your favourite hobby, or movie, perhaps music band? Or what kind of books you wanted to read, places you wanted to visit or simply, what you wanted to be when you were out of Hogwarts.

But he... destroyed all of those chances when he burst out at you right before the full moon. He already felt awful, like a total and royal douchebag, and it was no excuse for him to act that way when you both were finally able to land on a playful and friendly "friendship" but the teasing of his friends had become too much alongside the stimulation he felt.

He knew he could never be a decent boyfriend you deserved, this accident proved enough, someone present and whose emotions didn't change depending on the moon. You definetly didn't deserve someone who kept secrets, someone who was scarred badly either.

You deserved someone who would be your rock when you needed, someone who would hold you without any fears of ever hurting you. You were so adorable, so pretty and he could never taint it.

So, if he needed to be turned into a douchebag for you to hate him... He would do it, even if hurted him more whenever he would see your frown after his mean word and draw back to your shell.

The loud, cheerful, bubbly and teasing person was gone and instead... A shy and silent one came, in fear of irritating Remus more than usual even if you were worried for him.

But, that was also the end of your "friendly rivalry" since you two no longer talked... Which concerned even the teachers.

"Moony, I'm sure they would understand... Just, why don't you give a chance to-"

"I said no, Prongs, and that is final. I'm not gonna talk to them."

"Even if it makes you and them miserable when they don't even know what they did wrong?"

Remus groaned at his friends from where he laid on his bed, face buried in his pillow in a pitiful attempt to hide away from the truth reflecting in their eyes. To be honest, his day was already shitty and his misery of treating you harshly 2 days ago added salt to his wound. His body was aching painfully, and his own mind and body was restless. The usual quietness of the common room and even their dorm was nothing but suffocating, like water slowly rising in level and coming closer to kill him mercilessly, in fake comfort. He planned to retire to his bed to sleep, the assignment he was supposed to be working laid all by itself on the table in the common room.

One that he was supposed to write with you.

Instead, he buried his face deeper into his pillow, tears of frustration escaping his thightly closed lids as he tried to find some sleep. The reason of his yet another meltdown was... Everything piled on his poor heart and mental state.

The harsh words spoken about him, inderectly or not, in the class... How he felt the immense guilt crush him slowly whenever he looked at your face, still smiling at him kindly with a hint of sadness... How his friends' pitying eyes turned to him before Sirius and James almost threw the desk at the people who uttered all those... insults.

"Monsters, that's what they are!"

"They all should be kept away!"

"They would kill you the moment they see you!"

"To be honest, they only deserve death."

He didn't do anything except making a cacoon of some sorts with his arms, burying himself there with tears stinging his eyes and without listening to the rest of the lesson as the teacher scolded both sides for it and continued as if everything was fine.

It wasn't.

Because as Sirius comforted him, or at least tried to, Remus' mind was in a frenzy. Maybe what they said was true? Why did he even think that somehow he could have a happy life? What did he do to deserve it anyways? All he ever did was hurting people...Maybe he should come closer to the cliff next time and...

Your eyes, even from the first rows, didn't leave Sirius and Remus, as you and Lily tried to make what they were doing and feeling. Sirius supported a frown on his face, lifting it only to shook at you with sad eyes as he let Remus be with a single pat to his shoulders but still sat close to him.

The sight of him all miserable, at the verge of tears made your heart clench painfully as your hands bundled your uniform anxiously. You were blaming yourself for not speaking up before, not confronting him because of your crush on the boy and the "rivalry" between you two.

Even if his outburst at you a few days earlier, not showing up to any of the sessions or book readings said enough to you: He didn't care about whatever was happenig between you two, or in other words, could have happened.

Besides, the reason of your absence had a logical explanation in your mind to you, and it was utterly understandable when you didn't want to irritate someone and therefore stayed away.

You thought you were alwasy disturbing Remus, by how he would glare at you silently with a frown (not knowing it was one of the many times he was considering to just blurt everything out and let you hate him freely in his mind) even if your intentions were good. You were only worried for him, especially after DADA lessons, much like this one, or whenever he didn't show up for classes after full moons. James and Sirius often tried to play it off by teling you to not to worry and that he was just having... A bad day, a headcahe that just wouldn't leave poor Moony alone, or how he was having the flu that made his body ache slightly.

They assured you that he would be fine and come back to your "library dates", looking at you cheekily as you blushed and grumbled at them before slipping away, head and heart full of worry for the kind and soft boy.

Because, even if you two were "academic rivals of some sort"... You knew what was going on with him.

Yes, maybe they thought of you to be an idiot or not, but it was plainly obvious what Remus was, by how he disappeared the night before the Full moon, during the Full Moon, and the next day of it. At first, you weren't sure about your suspicions, after all it could be something else.

But when it became regular, and he would come back with more scars visible on his arms and face, and when you saw Madame Pomfrey comforting a crying Remus wrapped in bandages, was how you knew it.

And it did nothing to change how you saw him.

To you, he was the same boy who always offered you a piece of his chocolate under his friends' shocked eyes, he was the one who would land you one of his jackets when it was colder than normal, he was the one who knew where to find you whenever you cried, he was the one you always found in your usual spot just to irritate you and watch fondly as you lost it, he was the one who hugged you when shit went down and you needed someone to believe in you...

But above all, he was the boy you loved.

Even if he hated you, or didn't want you near him... You had to help him, confront him if needed. This could go in two ways: You leaving with tears as he kicked you out, or achieving your goal successfully.

And you made sure that the second one would be the case as you brought your notes from today and the books he had forgotten in the class, knowing that if he was in a good shape enough to talk to you, he would let you in with all these.

As you walked towards the boys' dormitory with an anxious biting of your lips, you were sure that you would make it all clear.

How you didn't see him as a monster, how he deserved good things in the world and even more, how there would be people loving him unconditionally even if he pushed them away...

Maybe not immediately, but through time.

James already made sure that none of the Marauders would enter or disturb you both, silently cheering for his ship that was about to sail as Sirius watched from next to him while biting on his fist with proud tears in his eyes. You could still hear their choked cries as Peter mumbled a surprised what the fuck, giggling to yourself as you slowly knocked on the door and let yourself in.

You already guessed Remus would be out for good, sleeping as he recovered from the night of Full Moon, so you quickly took a look around and sighed to yourself at the messy state of the dorm.

Boys, you sighed affectionately yet still tired. Putting everything together and tidying up didn't take much time and soon you were seated on Remus' bed with a thundering heart, silently cooing at how cute he looked with his mouth slightly open, face smushed to the pillow he held it thightly to himself.

"You're really pretty..." you murmured softly in admiration and love softly, heart flipping inside your chest as you swiped his slicked with sweat hair back, feeling the slight burn of his forehead under your finger tips. All this time, you always stared at him from afar and everything was fine, you could control your body's reaction from that distance but now that you were so close to him, eyes raking through his half-naked upper chest and back, you didn't know what to do with your shaky hands and heart full of love for the boy laying before you.

Watching him sleep, laying prettily was probably a good idea but you were sure the boys would be able to hold back anyone entering only for so long.

And even if no one entered, Peeves would, since the ghost loved drama and "peeving" into students' lives.

"Rem, wake up." you shook the boy slightly to not alert him suddenly, giggling when he mumbled a groggy five more minutes Sirius when his eyes snapped open at your next words and he stood up on his hands shakily, still not quite out of the clutches of sweet sleep.

"Wow, Sirius wakes you up with swiping your hair back and so softly?"

After the initial shock wore off at seeing you right in the middle of his dorm, smiling down at him with a soft smile as he stared at you... He didn't know how to feel and just blurted out whatever was in his mind as he leaned back on the bed frame.

"Why are you here?" he internally cringed at how hoarse and rude the question left him, hoping that you weren't angry but you only shrugged your shoulders noncholantly and smiled at his obvious confusion.

"I saw you in the infirmary and offered the boys to help them with their assignments for 2 weeks to leave us alone."

"That one was one big deal you got yourself, love." he couldn't help the sweet name leaving his lips, so naturally that he didn't realize it at first but soon flushed as soon as possible, looking at anywhere but you with his ears tinted red on the tips.

"Well, it was worth it. Besides, I needed to talk to you. And you forgot your books and I brought you the notes of today's lessons." you tried to hide the blush covering your cheeks at how the word warmed your insides sweetly and lifted your eyes to gaze at his confused ones. This was the only time he wasn't irritated and you had to make the most of it. (Remus would never be that asshole to you again, not when you came here even if you didn't have to and he had become calmer at your presence.)

"Then... What's the problem? If it's about the infirmary, you don't have to-" he immediately started to ramble excuses as to why you should never be worried about him, as if it was something forbidden which made you sigh tiredly and take his hand between yours, thoughtfully rubbing circles on his much larger ones and shutting him up immediately at your warmth coursing through him as his eyes widened.

"Why don't you accept that someone could care for you because they want to, Rem?"

Well, why would you when he was a bloodthirsty monster?

"I'm not that good of a guy as you think of me." Remus spitted angrily, venom towards himself visible to you as your heart once again broke for the boy, and felt anger at the injustice and harshness he was met all his life. You had a good guess that his sour mood was a product of those comments from before, as normal as it was, but still... Remus was never this affected, this sad and... gloomy.

It was something else, but for now... You wouldn't comment on it.

You hummed thoughtfully to yourself. Of course, it was normal for people to have different sides that they didn't show to everyone but yet again... Remus was like an open book to you, whether he tried to hide the biggest secret of his life or not.

"Why? Because you are a werewolf?"

Your question made the boy freeze in shock and fear, mind suddenly running with questions and trying to find a way to dodge your "assumption".

But as soon as he saw your understanding and kind eyes, he crumbled and a single tear rolled down his eyes.

"Who... Who told you that?"

" No one, I figured it out a few months ago when you started to act weird with me but waited until you came to me with your will... I wish I came myself though, maybe you wouldn't be miserable right now." you wiped the tear softly and craddled his face as if he was a delicate doll, the harsh skin of the scars running his face. To think that he thought he was ugly and disgusting...

If only he saw himself through your eyes...

"I see you for who you are. Doesn't matter if you turn into a wolf every month for a day, I want to be there for you to take care of you..."

"Besides, the boys don't know shit about taking care of a sick person." that made the tension disappear in a second as you both stared at each other for a few seconds and soon burst out laughing. Maybe you wouldn't be able to confess your feelings today, and Remus wouldn't actually talk to you about the probelm he has, but as you two hugged thightly just like you used to...

Everything felt right.

And, without you knowing, you saved Remus from committing or doing something he would regret later, from ending it all in one transformation day... It was you reminding him of his homeworks every day from that day on, always being there for him through thick and thin with your soft touches and kisses, coming to his dorm with a bunch of books and his favourite chocolate...

And accepting him for who he was.

"By the way, I know you knowingly did the last question wrong on the last week's test."

A deep chuckle as he hugged you thighter.

Yes, maybe he deserved happiness.

#remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus x reader #remus x y/n #remus x you #moony x reader #moony imagind #harry potter x y/n #harry potter imagine #harry potter x you #harry potter x reader #fluff #angst #remus lupin x you #remus lupin fluff

[karuuhnia]

I've been a Pokémon fan since the very beginning and recently a friend asked me who my favourite character was. I couldn't answer with just one character. So instead I gave her my top 3 favourites from each generation - and then turned it into this. lol

A little bit more info under the cut if you're interested.

_______

Please do not alter, repost/reupload or redistribute my artwork anywhere! (Reblogging is perfectly fine, of course.)

Gen 1:

Blue: The original rival, you loved to hate him. :D

Erika: I loved her design as a kid, even though I had no idea what a kimono was back then lol

Bill: No idea tbh lol. I like his hair and that he's a nerd, I guess? Honestly, Gen 1 did not have that many memorable and fleshed out characters, so I kinda struggled here.

Gen 2:

Lance: Honestly, he was my fave in Gen 1 already. I love his strength, his design, his virtuousness, his bravery, his code of honour, his everything. To me he's like a knight in shiny armour from old fairytales. lol I could spend a whole day describing all the things I love about him, but I don't wanna bore you.

Eusine: Probably a weird pick for many because he is kinda obnoxious in the game lol I've always had a soft spot for him though and I really wanted him to get Suicune in the end, after he'd changed.

Morty: I love his design and colours and that he's Eusine's bff and voice of reason.

Gen 3:

Steven: He is classy, wears a really awesome suit, has very cool Pokémon and is still a huge nerd. I love it!

Archie: (I see you, @chipsncookies) Big hunk with a big smile and a cool outfit. Beard. Not a bad guy, actually. Learns that he was wrong and does everything to make things right again. Frienemies with Maxie.

Maxie: Scrawny beanpole with a silly (but very cozy looking) outfit. Secretly a dork. Not a bad guy either. Learns from his mistakes and wants to make them right again. Frienemies with Archie.

Gen 4:

Riley: I was a huge fan of Sir Aaron in the movie and Riley is just as awesome. I love his hat too. His personality is also similar to Lance's, so that's a huge plus.

Cynthia: I really, really like her. She is so cool and strong and her theme is amazing. Just like Charizard she's become too popular and that gets a bit tiresome sometimes.

Looker: Okay, I admit, it took me a while to get used to Looker. But now I like his quirky, funny Inspector Gadget shenanigans. What changed my mind was the aftergame of XY. ;__;

Gen 5:

Ingo & Emmet: I couldn't do it. I couldn't choose who of them I like more. So they share the first place.They're a duo anyway. And absolutely inseparable. R-Right?

Elesa: I like her mainly because of the fanon that she's bffs with the subway twins. But she's also not the bitchy supermodel that I first thought she was. She's actually kind and supportive.

Alder: Funny grandpa with awful hair, but a big heart and a great theme song.

Gen 6:

Lysandre: His design always gave me Ganondorf-vibes. That's pretty much it. His goal is stupid.

Emma: Her storyline in the post-game was by far the best thing in XY. And her theme is so beautiful!

Sycamore: I still wish he had actually turned out to be evil. I still like him.

Gen 7:

Kukui: What is not to love about him? He's a hunk, he loves his wife, he takes in Lillie, he punches Pokémon with his bare hands.

Lillie: Sweet little girl who deserves all the love from her friends and her adoptive parents instead of all the shit her psycho bio mother put her through.

Burnet: She's sweet and smart and kind and I wish she had a much bigger role in the game. Her anime part was great though <3

Gen 8:

Piers, Sonia and Raihan: Honestly... These are pretty much the only characters that I remember lol Gen 8 was very underwhelming for me.

Gen 9:

Arven: Just a poor neglected boy who wants to save his sick dog. In contrast to his shitty parents he's got a big heart, is caring, nurturing and supportive.

Clavell: The twist about this character was that there was no twist. He is just a very kind grandpa who genuinely cares for the well-being of his students. I also LOVE his battle theme.

Hassel: This game really is full of wholesome boomers. Hassel's got a huge heart for art and his students and Pokémon. He's also not afraid of showing his emotions.

#pokemon #pokemon blue #pokemon erika #pokemon bill #pokemon lance #pokemon eusine #pokemon morty #pokemon steven #pokemon archie #pokemon maxie #pokemon riley #pokemon cynthia #pokemon looker #pokemon ingo #pokemon emmet #pokemon elesa #pokemon alder #pokemon lysandre #pokemon emma #pokemon sycamore #pokemon kukui #pokemon lillie #pokemon burnet #pokemon piers #pokemon sonia #pokemon raihan #pokemon arven #pokemon clavell #pokemon hassel #karuuhnia draws

[blackcatsnstrawberries]

Iron Flame Thoughts! (Spoilers)

I finally finished Iron Flame (IF) and I definetly have some thoughts about it. I've seperated my thoughts into Liked, Disliked, Predictions BELOW THE BREAK LINE so people don't have to see spoilers. Also it's not in any particular order, just how it popped into my head.

Liked:

Tarin and Andarna's bickering. Her sassiness with his grumpiness was just the bees knees of adorable.

Cat, this may surprise some people but I really liked her development as she and Violet got to know each other

Gryphon Riders in general were a nice addition, I want to know more about their school/lifestyle/countr(ies)

Violets development was really good. It was great to see her know her own strength more and stand up for herself/dragons/loved ones. Huge contrast from Fourth Wing (FW)

The relationship between Violet, Mira and Brennan. Loved the way Mira punched B when she saw him but ultimately loved having her brother back. Can't wait to see more

Mamma Sorrengail's sacrifice for her kids/everyone. Heartbreaking but only way she could redeem herself

Dain's return to the "good" side. It was great development to have him see the error of his ways, say no to Varrish (which is huge for him) and then prove himself again during the hike with the Riders and then again in the final battle.

Aaric/Cam, I love me a rogue Prince so this hit all the right spots (more on him later)

Andarna being a seventh dragon. Excellent. Amazing. Can't f*cking wait to know more

The reveal of Xaden's second signet. Shook, but obviously bb knew how to control it

The relationship between the main four in Iron Squad (Vi, Rhi, Ridoc and Sawyer.) I love a good platonic friendship (more than romance stories) because I think having found family in your friends is just friggin beautiful

Sawyer and Jesinina (I know that's spelled wrong)

Varrish, bare with me I hated him but props to RY for writing and awful character. I clapped when he died.

The battle at the end

HALLUCINATION LIAM!!!

Disliked:

XADEN AND VIOLETS CONSTANT BICKERING. It gave miscommunication trope over and over.

Xaden and Violet fighting and then being like you are my gravity, I love you so f*cking much etc. This seemed very Twilight-y (and toxic TBH)

Xaden with holding everything from Violet because she wasn't asking the right questions. Frustrating.

Having Vi tortured/injured over and over again (and I say this as a whump fan) I think she does it to show Violet's strength/resilience, but it's not necessary we know she's strong.

Markham being an asshole =(

Jack Barelow coming back- I understand why I just don't like him and wanted him to stay dead

Honestly, don't like Xaden turning Venin. Obvs as of right now we don't know why she made that choice, but I don't like it.

What I think will Happen Next

Next book Xaden is going to be fighting his Venin nature for the whole book but will ultimately choose to leave at the end- fourth book he will be barely there and fifth he will either come back still fighting his Venin self OR be full Venin.

Navarre/Basgiath/Aretia will fall to the Venin

Aaric/Cam will ultimately become important because I think the King will die and Aaric will have to step up as next in line.

Andarna will be the most badass dragon in the world

I do think Violet and Xaden will be endgame IF he lives. Here are my thoughts on that:

1) Violet and the others will find a cure for the venin and save Xaden

2) Xaden will become a full Venin but when it comes time to kill Violet he will unalive himself instead (Ben Solo redemption arc) in a moment of regaining his former self. I don't want this to happen at all.

I think Xaden's mom is the Queen/Lord of the Venin, which is why they want him so badly.

This is everything that came to mind, I am sure I will find other things that fit into these lists. Let me know what you thought, or we can compare lists!

#iron flame #iron flame spoilers #iron flame predictions #rebecca yarros #dain aetos #violet sorrengail #the empyrean #violet and xaden #tarin #andarna #sgaeyl #fourth wing #xaden riorson #rhiannon matthias #iron squad #venin #wyvern #ridoc #sawyer #imogen temult #mira sorrengail #brennan sorrengail #dragons #random thoughts

[wildpeachfarm]

this is meant lighthearted : instead of “all men are trash, women do no wrong” a secret third thing “PEOPLE suck in general”

as someone who grew up with an absent father who tried to make life difficult for my mother once she took him to court for child support for me and my siblings - ing…I grew up with a not nice view of older men BUT my grandpa was a big big influence in not making men a negative experience for us.

the recent shift of the last 4-5 years has been worrying. I used to liked jkr and could emphasize where she was coming from originally. but it was scary to see the gradual descent into where she is now and the stuff she is saying. Bc she is so far removed from what she originally stood for. It can happen to anyone, I even get worried if I’m on that slope sometimes. This whole situation had me second guessing myself bc I gave gnf time and believed in him. I had a moment when a few female creators made remarks (not from mc community) and I checked myself bc I was scared I was falling into the conservative rhetoric to blame women and protect men. Then I saw others who had more information and actually looked into it and also found this blog where the nuances were being discussed and let out a breath of relief that I was just using my critical thinking skills lmao

There are so many men out there who just aren’t given a chance bc society is set up for them to fall into a certain role. And I think a lot of men are trying to break that role and stereotypes. I became a dream fan bc I saw him doing this, saw a gamerboy in 2020 who was passionate and excelled at the game but didn’t fall into the toxicity of the space, actively fought against it.

and women should not be encouraged to drag men through hell bc they feel empowered by the rhetoric of recent years. women can and are just as selfish and shitty people as men. Sometimes they are worse

we’ve gone so far off center, we’ve essentially gone from one extreme to another. Which I learned two years ago was called terfs 😂 the movement needs to go back to its previous meaning. Feminism is not solely female empowerment it is the deconstructing of the patriarchal roles and belief that push men and women into boxes. Feminism, as I was taught over a decade ago, was the fight for women and MEN to be equal and have the same rights and opportunities. We can uplift women without putting down men. if this feminist movement doesn’t correct itself, it will allow more men like andrew tate to grow and influence young men.

The lack of female representation in the sphere cannot be corrected by women. It just can’t. Men need to be part of the change bc if the environment is not corrected, women cannot succeed and thrive. They can become successful but the hate and obstacles directed towards them is crazy. This is in general not just for streaming.

It can’t just be women solidarity, men need to learn and actively engage in calling out misogynist behavior. Women need to talk with their males friends and call them out when they say or act in disgusting ways. Women need to hold women accountable as well! It is unfair and unattainable to put female equality solely in the hands of women. We need to All work together.

Puffy is so good at this when she streams, especially on the smp. Hell, she even created a whole villain arc to call out the people telling her to “be a therapist to Tommy, omg your like dreams mom”. Puffy is awesome 🥹

men =/ bad

women =/ good

PREACH ANON

this breaks it all down so well and i really sympathize with you about having a poor view of some men in your life and trying to not let that influence your views but also not go so far off the other end that you end up blindly defending them without critical thinking.

Really important discussions and introspection about how your thought processes work that I think everyone should have at least once when situations like this come up

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

[animentality]

(Leaps in askbox now its clear) Howdy! I'm curious about your opinions on the companions, like initial thoughts and now that you've clocked in an unhealthy (affectionate) amount of hours? We know what you'd change but how about everyone as is? Thanks!

Alrighty, I can finally answer this one...

Ok.

Man. This is gonna be a long one.

We're gonna start with the shorter opinions first.

Minthara:

I have not done a run where Minthara was alive in Act 2. I literally know almost nothing about her.

I think she's hot and has the sexiest voice of all the female characters, but I know nothing about her story, other than she was a lesbian with Orin. I do wanna try and romance her, but.

Who knows if I'll ever get around to it.

Minsc:

I get that he's a fan favorite from the old games, but I kind of hate him. He feels like fanservice, and I didn't get a nostalgia boner for him, so he does nothing for me as a character.

I honestly kill him. Not out of malice, just more out of, why even have him be here?

Plus I tend to go through the entire game without swapping my party members, because I'm pretending it's a real dnd campaign.

And I ain't changing my team comp for this weirdo who only shows up at the very end.

Sorry to his hamster when I kill him, though.

Jaheira:

She's ok. I don't hate her, but she doesn't do it for me. I don't get why she's Russian. And apparently the only Russian in the whole game.

She also feels like fanservice.

Plus she fucking drops ice storms on everyone's goddamn HEADS when they're already in Hunger of Hadar, and honestly?

We have beef. I let her die sometimes, for that crime specifically. I also skip her house, because it doesn't have good loot, besides the scimitars, and I don't play races or classes that use scimitars. like ever.

Halsin:

I like Halsin generally, he's inoffensive to me, but his "romance" is so bad. It's shallow, it feels tacked on, which it was, and everyone knows how much I HATE how little his sexual trauma is focused on.

I romanced him twice, and both times, I was underwhelmed and kind of shrugged him off.

He should just be a fling option like Mizora. He shouldn't have become a "romance" option. It's fine for him to be a big buff bear hippie that you can fuck, but a companion?

He's got nothing to do with Act 3. It's a detriment to his character and the game, tbh.

Ok, that's the smaller ones out of the way. Now mains:

Astarion:

I got into BG3 for Astarion.

I fully admit it. I saw a scene of him screaming at Tav for blasting him with the sun beam from the githyanki creche, and it was funny as fuck.

Neil Newbon is highly charismatic, and truly elevates a character I don't find that physically attractive. His personality and enthusiasm shine through, and his voice acting is superb. And I am a sucker for angst and redemption and themes of abuse and breaking free of toxic relationships. And darkly, I admit. I do like the more twisted nature of his backstory, the way he had to use his body to survive, has a bad relationship with sex, and was tortured repeatedly. As anyone who reads my writing knows...I am a disgusting sadistic pervert.

That being said.

I no longer like Astarion. Well. No. I like Astarion.

I don't like his fans, or his rhetoric. Astarion has the better writing of BG3, but the lack of nuance from his fans annoys the shit out of me, and overexposure to him as a character, since Tumblr and TikTok are obsessed with him?

No me gusta. I don't hate him as a character, but I can't stand to see Astarion is so perfect posts. He's not, and that's the whole point. He's awful, but you people don't appreciate that. I don't want to see Astarion x Tav headcanons. And I especially do not care about the BookTok crowd being obsessed with him because they just like a dommy vampire, and disrespect his narrative with absolutely no self awareness.

BookTok Astarion is SO GODDAMN BORING. They really just reduce him to a hot dommy vampire daddy, and that's why I never take BookTok recs. Pure garbage.

So. TL;DR - I got BG3 for him, but overexposure to his fans made me be significantly less interested in him. It's a good thing. If I was obsessed with Astarion, I'd be forced to interact with his fans. Thank god for Gortash... I'm free of that prison.

Lae'zel:

I loved Lae'zel the minute she was mean to me.

She's hot as fuck, like seriously, so hot, her neck makes me sweat something fierce, and her voice is sultry and raspy and hostile. just how i like my women.

But I admit...she's too fucking meta. gameplay wise, she's probably the strongest companion you can have for DPS...so I admit...I've had her on my teams so much, that I am sick of her.

And again! It's not because she's badly written. I actually think her character is really strong, and really awesome. I also think her arc is amazing, going from this devoted cult member to basically saying I'm going to fucking kill a god.

I actually teared up a little at the creche this one time, when I had to beg her to stay, and she was like, you knew I had no other path to follow, but this one, or something like that.

But.

But I have beaten the game with her in my party like three times. I've had her in my party on Honor mode like...a million times.

So, tl;dr - I love her to death, but gameplay wise, she's so strong that I can't play her anymore.

Shadowheart:

Ok...I admit it.

I don't like Shadowheart. I find her boring visually, because she's just this generically hot white girl. She was designed to be the companion that all straight cis white men would want to see naked, and that's fine but uh.

Does absolutely nothing for me.

I don't care for her personality either. I don't like her lines, all coy and vaguely condescending. I don't really like how mean she is to you, and it's different from Lae'zel, because at least Lae'zel came from a warrior culture that doesn't put much value on flowery language. Lae'zel makes sense.

Shadowheart is an amnesiac who's just mean to you because.

I also don't care for her story, at all.

Don't care about Shar's Gauntlet or her kidnapped backstory. Don't give a shit about her parents. Don't care that she's scared of wolves or that her hand hurts.

I like the overarching thematic bridge that her character exists on, specifically that the gods will demand everything of you, and will hurt you for their own amusement.

But as a companion...no.

I have never been interested in romancing her. I never have her on the party, except to get that achievement.

I also don't like clerics. I think they're kind of weak, tbh. They're heal bots. They're really only good for spirit guardians, glyph of warding, and removing status effects. Just don't care for that. I'm an all dps team, we have no room for healers.

TL;DR: I don't think Shadowheart is interesting design wise, story wise, or gameplay wise.

Karlach:

I loved Karlach the moment I saw her, I fell deeper in love with her the second I heard her voice, and I knew I would die and kill for her, when I saw her excited "I love you" confession scene.

Seriously.

I have said this before, and I will say it again.

Out of all of these characters, romanceable or not...

I would only marry Karlach in REAL LIFE. I'd never date a man like Gortash or Astarion. I might be friends with Gale, but he's too smart to be my boyfriend.

But Karlach. She brings the wife energy. She could throw me over her shoulder and bash me against the concrete, and I would say thank you, ma'am.

she's also so fucking fun to play. barbarian options in bg3 are so goddamn funny. you can intimidate everyone and just break shit. it's great. you can also constantly throw people AT PEOPLE. And it's great. She's way more fun than Lae'zel because of it.

No notes. Top tier character design. My wife.

But also FUCK the developers for only giving her two fucking quests, one of which is a FETCH IT quest and the other is just a lame boss fight.

And FUCK THEM for only originally giving her an ending where she either dies or becomes a mindflayer. WHY.

And the Avernus ending still annoys me, because the ENTIRE PARTY should be there too.

FUCK YOU LARIAN. Why do you hate Karlach???? You're monsters. She's never done anything wrong, and yet all you do, is wrong her.

Bullshit.

Wyll:

Ok.

Hard truth time.

Wyll is the hottest male companion.

Like.

No cap. Everyone who says Gale, or Astarion, or Halsin-

Incorrect. It's Wyll. He is literally so hot, with the white eye and those sexy throat scars. Hrrrrrrr.

Also, controversial opinion. I actually like his devil form.

I think it makes him even hotter. I do wish he had wilder hair, though.

That being said...

He's horribly underwritten.

I went in, thinking, he's so kind and nice and hot...and then I was disappointed by how little they gave him.

He, like Karlach, got hit with the cut content curse.

And it's so ugly.

And gross.

And honestly, I suspect it's racist.

But yeah.

I think he's really sweet and I like romancing him and all. But they didn't dedicate any time or effort to his romance, and I hate that. But not him. Never him.

TL;DR - my first impression of Wyll was wow, he's hot, I wanna know more about him, and my last impression is, wow, he's so hot, I hate that he has nothing going on because Larian simply didn't bother to give him shit to do.

Gale

Alright, I left Gale for last, because he has the MOST complicated relationship with me.

So I initially missed Gale, because my friend failed the strength check to get him out of the portal.

So for a while, I didn't even know he existed.

Then I started to see more of him on Tiktok and Tumblr, and I was like oh...ok. So...we missed him. Damn.

So I decided to try romancing him fairly early on....only to find out...

I absolutely despised that when he dies, he killed me with necrotic damage.

That pissed me off. In the early days, when I was new to the game, I think I once had a whole team wipe, because Gale and Lae'zel went down, and then Karlach went rampaging, set me on fire, and then died to Gale's necrotic...which is funny in hindsight, but it was annoying at the time.

The eating magical items thing was mildly annoying, but that was far worse.

I pretty much never ran Gale for a long period of time.

As the Dark Urge, I'd often kill him, in fact, just so I wouldn't have to deal with his Arcane Hunger.

And honestly, initially, I kind of disliked his personality too.

I think the first scene I ever saw of him was when you tell him he's ok in bed, and his response is like, I guess I'll go kill myself.

And honestly, I thought he had incel vibes because of it. Then add to the fact that he's rude to you, no matter what, when he needs his third item...and also add that to the annoying gameplay, PLUS the fact.

That I was rocking Sorceror and Warlock for most of my early runs, so didn't need a wizard...I said, no. No Gale.

I don't like Gale.

BUT.

Here's the thing, right?

I got into Gortash... and then I stepped away from Astarion. Started being obsessed with the Dark Urge...

And then I noticed that all of my Durgetash friends were super into Gale, and I didn't get why...

But then weavewithshadow specifically alerted me to the fact that... there are Gale and Gortash parallels...specifically, that they're both brilliant, scruffy, are blinded by ambition, can't appreciate the things they have, and keep chasing after things they can't quite reach.

And then I was like...ok, maybe I've been harsh on him...

So I did his romance...and I felt bad.

Because he's actually very sweet.

And his voice is reallllly lovely when it's soft and fond.

He's a poet...and then I felt bad for all the times I had chewed off his arm.

And honestly, with experience...I now know what to feed him. Mostly garbage magic items like Komira's dumb locket or the ring of color spray from the harpies' nest, or those dumb boots that electrify the water you stand in.

Plus, I'm smart enough to know how to keep Gale alive now, so the necrotic thing isn't an issue.

So.

So. TL;DR I had a very complicated relationship with Gale, first with his mechanics, then with this random out of context scene where he's kind of nasty to you. But I came around, and honestly...right now...I like him more than Astarion.

All he wants to do is...live.

And I relate to that.

And his romance scenes are nice, and he has more of an arc than most of the other companions, Astarion aside.

So there you go, anon.

This took forever to write.

Thanks for the ask, though.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Round 1 Part 2 (3/8)

Propaganda under the cut!

BEN LINUS

One of my fave characters of all time! Also a prolific liar. Almost every single thing this man says is a lie. He lies, manipulates, murders, and feels very little remorse, all in the name of “protecting” the magical Island where he and his people live. Ben is fueled almost exclusively by bitterness, stemming from an entire childhood’s worth of abuse from his alcoholic father, who blamed Ben for his mother’s death in childbirth (Ben did eventually kill his father, along with the whole community he grew up in). Additionally, Ben is desperate to have some great destiny or higher purpose, and his bitterness toward the fact that he’s just an “ordinary” man and jealousy toward the man who DOES have a higher purpose drives Ben to commit various acts of cruelty and murder. Ben does act as a villain for most of the story (save for the last season, in which he’s more of an anti-villain and eventually an anti-hero), but he has two redeeming qualities: his love for the Island and his love for his adopted daughter, Alex. The latter is complicated by the fact that he kidnapped Alex as a baby from her biological mother, a woman stranded alone on the Island. However, when forced to choose between protecting the Island and saving Alex’s life, Ben ultimately chooses the island and deeply regrets this decision for the rest of his life. He’s eventually forced to reckon with his many, many mistakes and undergoes something of a redemption arc, but he spends enough of the show establishing himself as a villain that I can easily see the good denizens of Twitter attacking his fans.

IANTHE TRIDENTARIUS

Her number one hobby is ruining every person's that she knows life. Her second hobby is being soooo slutty about it despite looking like a literal wet rat. Her third hobby is having an extremely unhealthy relationship with her twin. Her other hobbies include cannibalism, wearing a maid outfit, being extremely convinced she is the main character, the badboy sexy love interest and the villain. 'Why', you may ask. Well, the answer is, for shits and giggles #justgirlythings i, aswell as literally everybody else in the fandom have gone through the pipeline from hating her to desperately wanting to fuck her. expect for i still fucking hope she dies and doesn't come back for good. (that would literally solve all of everybody's problems) as god intended (EXPECT FOR. one of her hobbies literally is gaslighting god) She is fucking horrible i will love her until i die and even after that

parks and recs jean ralphio voice she's the woooorst!! The moment she learns she has to kill someone to become a Lyctor (aka a more special necromancer), she doesn't hesitate to kill and cannibalize the guy who has been her cavalier since childhood… cavalier who she also totally bullied as kids, she was allowed to choose one guest for her and her twin sister's birthday party each year, and she would always pick whoever she thought her cavalier didn't want to see there! While other characters are shown to regret the process of becoming a Lyctor (which involves someone close to them dying)/were forced into it because of circumstances, Ianthe has absolutely no regrets, she believes she did what she had to do

The author once said of Ianthe: "I don't think she's been nice to anyone, if she has I'll go back and change it." She killed and ate the soul of someone she has known all her life so that she could become a necromantic saint and tormented him plenty before that. General negging, ganging up against him, always inviting people he didn't like to their birthday parties. She doesn't regret killing him. I think she is repulsed by the idea that his digested soul is affecting hers. She helped her crush lobotomise herself so she would be in Ianthe's debt, and later lied and said she didn't see the corpse of a woman her crush killed under her bed (why did she do that? I do not know). She has a bone arm because her original arm was cut off, she hated the replacement so her crush cut THAT off and grew her a new one out of just bones. She had it gilded and only after that did she decide to help her crush deal with the person who had been repeatedly trying to kill her. She wants so badly to be the main character but people keep interrupting her villain monologues.

she has her own content warning tag pollrunner's note: this is the most compelling propaganda I've ever seen for a character, thank you for submitting

She's such a bitch to everyone all the time, she causes nothing but problems, she tries to do a villain speech but fumbles it because her tummy hurt, she is the awfulgirl of all time

#awful characters tournament #tournament poll #awful characters round 1 #lost #benjamin linus #the locked tomb #tlt #ianthe tridentarius

[aikoiya]

LoZ: LU - The Chain Meets the Past

Something I've noticed... I haven't seen the Chain really meeting Fi or Sun.

And when I say Sun, I mean while knowing that she's essentially Hylia.

Specifically, I have yet to see the Links in the Chain that resent the 2 really confront them.

Especially Time, who is honestly being pretty unfair.

Hell, even Wild to a degree if only on Flora's behalf!

More than that, I wanna see the Links have to contend with the fact that Hylia... is just a person doing her best.

Possibly even the fact that the gods don't see their situation as a game. Not in the least, or at least Hylia doesn't. That she did everything she could.

What's also weird, I haven't seen a situation where Warriors mentions Marin & Legend loses his shit.

Like, why haven't I seen these sorts of fics yet?

Or them learning that their reincarnating wasn't a curse, but rather the natural state of being mortal. That the actual curse is them being followed in every life by trials & heartache because an asshole was a sore loser.

That, what'd generally been intended for all of them, were relatively ordinary lives that become less so based on their own choices.

And I really mean it, dude. The amount of Buddhist themes all throughout the games is just so evident when you start looking at the Japanese text. Especially the amount of times that reincarnation & the theme of escaping it comes up.

And the more I learn, the more positive I am that a bunch of the fans are looking at the cycle from too much of a western lense. Because shit starts making a whole ton more sense if you look at it from an eastern perspective.

Or even learning that Hylia herself is now trapped in the cycle as well due to giving up her godhood & thus couldn't really give Flora anything because she is Flora. That by hating Hylia, the Links are hating their own Zeldas & them having to confront that.

Something else I don't really see, is someone asking the Links that resent them what they would have done in their places.

Like, really make them think.

Not to mention the fact that Demise's exact phrasing indicated that not only would the Links & Zeldas be suffering, but so would his own incarnations.

LoZ Linked Universe Masterlist

#loz #legend of zelda #lu #linked universe #fi #hylia

[loudmound]

jingling miserably across the floor to bring you yet another goddamn post about james sunderland (and the broader themes of sh2 in general)

part one: silent hill is the world's worst exposure therapist and that's honestly it

for starters, i think it's best to get out of the way the notion that the town itself is actively punishing its inhabitants is... silly. it's just silly. when you operate by the logic that silent hill is punishing james for what he did to mary, that logic quickly becomes concerning when we take angela and eddie into account.

does angela deserve to be tormented by a manifestation of the sexual abuse she endured from her father? does eddie deserve to be tormented by manifestations of the emotional and verbal abuse he faced from his bullies? if you have any modicum of compassion, you'd say no.

but we cannot then say with a handwave that "oh well angela and eddie don't deserve it, but james does! because james did something bad!" and like... yes, i do agree that there is a sort of sliding scale of moral justification and negligibility given each of these characters' acts of violence, but all of these people did such to escape their circumstances. and, most importantly, angela, eddie, and james all feel like they deserve to be punished in some way, shape, or form.

angela's been so horrifically abused that she's resigned to the notion that she deserved what happened to her. eddie's been so horrifically abused that he's resigned to the notion that he is just a fat piece of shit. and, with james, while having a tangible distance from any kind of abuse, feels he deserves to be punished for killing mary; something that he'd unwittingly repressed to even keep himself upright. he drove to silent hill to kill himself—to be with mary in death in the last place they were happy together.

and that right there is exactly what silent hill is doing; silent hill is a functionally amoral entity, i'd argue. it does not care whether its inhabitants live or die, it does not care about punishment or exoneration, it is merely drawing from their psyches and projecting manifestations as a means of confrontation, and seeks to see what that person chooses to do in the face of the darkest and ugliest parts of themselves, traumas and all. will you succumb or will you overcome? that's the only question it cares to ask.

part two: stop pretending james is a violently misogynistic sex pest

now, this part is gonna come off as biased, because i am a james fan. i like him a lot. but i'm also not going to pretend that he's not a divisive character or that he did nothing wrong. he most certainly did. that's not the point and i don't want to come off as defending his murder of mary, nor am i trying to convince people to like him. he's a fictional guy, like and hate whomever. i don't care.

what i do care about is analysis, and some people insinuating that james killed mary for the sole, superficial, and juvenile reason that she wouldn't fuck him anymore? it truly baffles me beyond words.

i've seen this take enough times for it to be concerning; the notion of james' deed solely surrounded being denied sex and lashing out with murder because of it. if that sincerely were the case, james would be a very different man and sh2 would be a very different, markedly worse game, because how fucking one-dimensional is that? seriously, think about it for longer than 3 seconds and let it sink in how much worse that would be for sh2's story and overall message.

contrary to this belief: james loved mary! james loves mary! that's kind of the whole point, really! i'm not denying that there isn't a sexual component to the whole ordeal, there most certainly is. maria is the apex of that, as are a good handful of the monsters like the mannequins and the bubblehead nurses. hell, i'm not going to deny that there aren't shades of misogyny within these monsters' looks, either!

but these monsters aren't made for james' wanton, sexual consumption; they're a means of confrontation. they're terrifying and warped. there's a certain shame about them, too, in so far as they're manifested from a man who seems guilty about even existing as a person at all. that he even has sexual thoughts to begin with when his wife lay sick and dying in her hospital bed.

james doesn't seem particularly enthusiastic about much of anything, least of all sex. him never even alluding to such or even saying the word out loud speaks volumes to me at just the magnitude of shame he feels surrounding such a concept, when everything around him is so loudly saying that it's a part of him he's terrified to look in the face. (think of the pin-up he sees in the hospital where he mutters to himself in his head "...this is no time to be looking at a stupid poster.")

your libido doesn't screech to a halt when your significant other is terminally ill, and finding other people attractive when you're in a relationship with someone else is pretty normal, so long as those feelings don't breach the bond you have with said partner. if james fantasized about fucking the hospital nurses or whatever, so what? that's within the realm of fantasy, and i'm sure he's cognizant of such. that doesn't make him an "incel", that doesn't make him unfaithful, it makes him a regular person with a sexuality, and he feels shame for such because his partner—the one that he truly wants—is sick, dying, and sexually unavailable because of the latter facts. the audacity to think of sex at a time like this? how dare he? how disgusting of him!

(sidenote: i really don't like the conflation of the term "incel" with "misogynist". yes, incel culture at large is misogynistic, but literally anybody can be a misogynist and incels are largely self-identified. misogyny is systemic, and incels are a symptom of that. also, james has a partner and is certainly implied to have had sex before. by definition, he is not an incel. a strange, miserable man, yes, but not an incel.)

part three: james did it for so many reasons and sex wasn't one of them

james killed mary because he couldn't watch her suffer any longer. james killed mary because he wanted his life back—to be free of such a burden on his shoulders. james killed mary to be with her in death not long after, because without her, he's got nothing. together, beyond the grave, they could be happy once more.

while james is not a reliable narrator, it's impossible to me that the reason he did it was purely because he couldn't have sex with mary anymore. it's reductive and insulting to insinuate that sh2, a game about death, about grief, about guilt and loss and trauma, as well as love and sex, would have its main protagonist be a flat as a fucking board when it came to the reason he did it.

hell, i'd argue that his reasoning is more complicated than angela's and eddie's reasonings for their respective deeds because they're fucking rock solid reasonings. it's easier to empathize with an sa survivor killing their abusers and a victim of bullying finally snapping and attempting to kill their respective abusers than a man who finally got so sick of it all and killed his wife before the disease eating her from the inside out could kill her instead. there is an obvious callousness in james' deed that repels such a level of compassion, and that's perfectly reasonable. which is why it's so goddamn complicated!

it's already such a terrible thing to do to somebody else, imbued with so many reasons, both selfish and selfless, both loving and resentful, and to just write it off as "oh well james did it because he was mad he couldn't get his dick sucked anymore and silent hill was so bad for him because the town thought he deserved it <3"... see me after class.

anyways, thank you for reading. i'm gonna go the fuck to bed now.

#stormy shouts #james sunderland #silent hill #brave enough to tag james now that it's not 3am

[lialovesstuff]

It's so interesting to me, as I grow older to see how some of the reactions these kids have are very mild considering that they go through the most traumatising experiences.

I was listening to the anubis backwards podcast interview with Brad Kavanagh (which if you are an anubis fan I highly recommend you go check out because it is super interesting), and he did mention something about how the reactions had to fall in line with the fact that it is still a kid's show. So the reactions could never be too strong.

Taking this, it makes me think about how mentally distressed these students are but they could never really express that because of the PG nature of the show. Having recently rewatched the show I realised how traumatising the things that happen to these kids are and how irl these things would affect a person mentally, but sometimes it makes you angry that these things are sort of just brushed under the carpet.

I want to start off by talking about my girl Patricia. She was gaslit by everyone around her, kidnapped, betrayed by the people whom she trusted would take care of her, has no memory of what we can assume is weeks of her life, and based on the whole Piper situation we can possibly assume she feels neglected or overshadowed. I think this is what leads her to not be vulnerable in front of anyone. Yet, we don't see her express her PTSD at any point after the whole nightmare situation with Rufus. I would have really liked to have seen her PTSD or trauma addressed in some form. For example, how her and Eddie becoming a couple helped her with her nightmares because she finally felt safe with someone and she finally feels like someone believes her and loves her unconditionally.

Then there's Joy. There is so much to talk about when it comes to Joy and I will forever be mad about how the writers address istg maybe 4 times since she came back. She was kidnapped by her own father, betrayed by her teachers, almost sacrificed to some Egyptian cult, had no contact with the outside world, had her education, friends and freedom taken from her at the young age of 16 (I assume), and after all of this still being forced to go back to school and be taught and associate with the people who caused all of this. I really hate how when she came back no one even asked how she feels to be back or just generally checking on her mental health. I’m surprised she went back to that school at all tbh. It was all business as usual and even she didn’t exhibit any ptsd symptoms. I think something as simple as just showing her being terrified of being left in the same room as these teachers would make for an interesting plot point, or talking to Patricia about how she feels scared going back to school. The only time when Joy does exhibit any form of PTSD is when they are forced to wear the robes in S3 and the poor girl literally looks terrified. There’s so much to unpack with Joy, so the last thing I will say is that in S2 I feel like one of her arcs could be learning to deal with the trauma and overcome it. Also it makes me so mad that none of the adults apologised to her.

Moving on to Eddie Miller. This boy has probably dealt with abandonment issues his whole life from his dad leaving. His whole 'rebel' persona probably came about from him not having a male figure in his life and was almost trying to fill that void or not being able to cope with his dad leaving. This is probably why Eddie finds it hard to open up to people, with the first person he truly trusts (besides his mum probably) is Patricia as he says multiple times that he trusts her and he tells her directly that he likes her, which he says himself was not easy for him. He does start to build a relationship with his dad but once again it is something that gets resolved in like 5 minutes and from there they seem to have the building blocks to start building a relationship. This is nice, don't get me wrong, but given that Eddie's dad has been out of his life for years and all it took was a 5-minute convo to get their relationship rolling seems unrealistic. In the conversation, Eddie does say "you didn't want me then, and you don't want me know", which I think is a very deep line for a nick show but still I think irl a boy in Eddie's position would have had a lot more of his true feelings and emotions flow out.

Jerome is a similar case to Eddie. A boy who struggles to reconnect with his father after years. I will say I always thought this arc was really deep for a nick show. A boy finds out his father is in prison and tries to rebuild a connection with him. I do have to say that arc of Jerome rebuilding his relationship with his father has a better pace in comparison to Eddie and his dad, but still, I do imagine a boy discovering his estranged father is in prison would cause a bigger reaction, but once again going back to the idea that it is a kid's show they had to keep his reaction relatively 'neutral'. Also considering that Eugene Simon is a great actor I think he would be able to represent those emotions really well.

Of course, there is still so much to say about all of the characters in the show, but I do find this an interesting observation also in line with what Brad said on the podcast.

#house of anubis #hoa #hoa rewatch #patricia williamson #eddie miller #joy mercer #jerome clarke #brad kavanagh #anubis backwards #nickelodeon #teen nick

[2demon2slayer]

What does the not-friend group think of Sabito?

giyuu obviously loves sabito a whole lot. they're the best of friends. he's very nervous about being sabito's sort-of-caretaker now that he's a demon and kind of needs to be hidden from people. but giyuu's also kind of dealing with sabito's turn into a demon worse than sabito himself and is banking his entire mental stability on turning sabito back into a human. he's a little bit codependent

kanae was initially cautious about sabito (as you would be upon meeting any demon, no matter how friendly they supposedly were), but basically the moment she realizes that sabito really is a Good Demon, she's all in on becoming best friends with him. something about his existence is just . it gives her so much hope. hope for what demons could be. (arguably, maybe too much hope. she ought to be more careful or i'll write her another tragic death, but on-screen this time)

shinobu doesn't really know how to feel about sabito. she's distrustful of him at the start, but she's rational enough to recognize that he really is harmless towards humans. so she's generally nice to him, but she still finds mr fox boy sort of off-putting

despite his brother's relative faith in sabito, kyoujurou still didn't really trust the demon for a while! after all, it's a demon's nature to want to hurt and kill and eat people! he doesn't say it because he loves his brother, but kyoujurou thinks senjurou's a bit stupid for trusting sabito. but all it takes is one mission together for kyoujurou to realize that sabito's not only a genuinely good dude, but he's also Very strong. kyoujurou ends up dragging him over to train together a handful of times and ultimately decides that sabito's also very fun to be around. they get on like a house on fire. (kyoujurou also maybe goes to his brother afterwards and is like "hey, i'm sorry i thought you were stupid" and senjurou, heartbroken, goes "you thought i was stupid????")

gyoumei was initially distrusting of sabito, but with his teacher's (genya's) approval of the guy, and eventual proof that sabito's not bad, he decides that he's fine with the kid. they don't interact much, but if ever gyoumei encounters a weird fox that feels a bit too much like a demon, he'll give it a little pet before moving on

look. see, here's the thing. sanemi kind of has this thing where he cannot let himself believe that any demon could do any good. because if he follows that train of thought, it'll lead him to the ultimate realization that he murdered his mother for no reason when she could've been saved and reasoned with. and sanemi can't have that particular breakdown, so he hates sabito on principle. because fuck demons, am i right?

obanai has never encountered a demon who wasn't terrible awful. and in his mind, he never will. because sabito is also terrible awful and obanai Does Not like or trust him. nothing more to say than that

tengen thinks the fox boy is kind of scrawny, but pretty flashy! he definitely approves, even if he's not usually a fan of demons. honestly they don't really interact much.

and sabito interacts with kaigaku even less. kaigaku's kind of on the fence about sabito. he's heard good things from both zenitsu and tengen, but also sabito is a whole ass demon. kaigaku sometimes finds himself almost envious of sabito. all the power of a demon without any of the hunger. the guy's not even an actual demon slayer and yet he's allowed to follow around the goddamn sun hashira on missions. if kaigaku was a demon- ah, well. he's not, so it doesn't really matter

mitsuri thinks sabito's kind of really cool! he's a demon, which made him kinda scary at first, but then he turned out to be a good demon which is crazy but also super cool! he's a genuinely kind guy and really strong, too! mitsuri properly met him when he started hanging out with kyoujurou, and so the three of them tend to hang out all together! also, very important tidbit: his fox form is so fucking fluffy!!!!!!!!!

#kny #demon slayer #queries #sun hashira and tsuguko au #scramblings

[kaleen-art]

Lupin Zero Sucks (Clickbait)

Spoilers. Duh.

Lupin Zero is a 2022-23 6 episode miniseries following the adventures of Lupin III and Daisuke Jigen as teenagers. I watched the full series recently. It’s very rare I watch a show and am both in awe and also disappointed. Here are my thoughts:

Chapter 1: Aesthetic

Lupin III Part 1 is my favorite Part. It’s where I think the characterizations are at their best and the A-Production episodes with the involvement of Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata are some of the best Lupin adventures to this day (not a big fan of Osumi’s “deep and emotional” episodes, will make another essay about this probably). Zero takes a lot of influence from Part 1 and I love it. The music is on point and matches with the very late 60s-early 70s stylings of the first series. The animation and expressiveness is also on point. The artstyle is always distinctive and it’s amazing how they were able to translate the artstyle of the original series into a digital era when I felt like previous attempts (see: digital Part 1 art, Return of Pycal (sorry Shmeepy)) failed. I hate the filter applied over the series though. Besides it just muddying up very nicely done backgrounds and artwork, it also makes the whole series feel like a TikTok “edit”. It’s gross. But at least everything else about the series’s aesthetic is strong enough that this is only a minor nitpick.

Chapter 2: Lupin and Jigen

The best part of Lupin Zero is definitely the relationship between Lupin and Jigen. Jigen is a stone-cold criminal with experience to his name at the start of the series and Lupin is (though he wouldn’t admit it) a rookie crook. Both have exactly what the other one needs. Lupin gives Jigen the love Jigen seemingly gets from nobody else, and Jigen provides Lupin with a partner in crime. Their dynamic as the show goes on, especially prominent in Episode 4 (The Best One) and Episode 5 (Had the great scene between them) is great and the highlight of Zero. The gay vibes are strong on this one and I’m pretty sure this is the part of the show the writers wanted to do the most. Like I said earlier, the show ties in with Part 1 very nicely and the Lupin-Jigen dynamic is no exception. I love Part 1 Jigen so it’s no wonder why Zero Jigen is also great. I like when he Has Fun and Smiles I wish they let him do that in Part 2 and the new stuff.

Chapter 3: Lupin and his legacy

I really like how they executed Lupin’s relationship with his family. Lupin (the Third) and Arsene Lupin both want him to become a thief, but Lupin the Third wants to forge his own path instead of adhering to his grandpa’s expectations. Meanwhile, Lupin II wants Lupin to follow the “straight and narrow”. I think this show not only speaks to the feelings of teenagers of every generation, but especially the generation growing up in the 50s and 60s who would become adults in the 70s. Speaking as a teenager who is in the Gen Z generation I understand how it is to feel the weight of the previous generations and their expectations for you, but I also know this was an especially prevalent issue amongst the youth of the mid 20th century, and I think Lupin in Zero really represents that. At the end of the show, he is able to forge his own path and later becomes the Lupin we know and love, resolving this generational conflict. This is another aspect done great in Zero.

Chapter 4: Lupin and Yoko

Fuck Yoko. She ruins the show. This isn’t a joke.

Yoko is… I think? Lupin’s love interest? “But isn’t that Jigen-” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING! The show felt the incessant need to add a female lead so they could have boobies on screen. The problem is it’s really gross in Zero. Yoko is an adult ass woman flirting with Lupin the 13 year old and it’s very groomy. In the first episode she even sings about forbidden love (with someone younger than her) to Lupin and Jigen. She contributes close to nothing to the show up until Episodes 5 and 6 (a two-parter). In those episodes, she has a plot with this guy named Gaucho who is like, the villain, and like… She loves him but she also loves Lupin, and it gets really convoluted and dumb. If it seems like I don’t care, it’s because I don’t. 

At the end of the show Gaucho dies and Yoko is in a life-or-death situation, so she decides to kill herself to die with Gaucho. She does this in front of two children, one of whom she is fully aware that he's in love with her. This is a character we are meant to feel sad about when she dies.

She's a total creep and throws me out of the show whenever she's on-screen. I feel like if she didn’t show any interest in Lupin besides an innocent friendship, and Lupin just fell in love with her anyway, that would be significantly better. As is, she gets way too flirtatious with someone literally less than half her age for me to give a fuck when she dies.

I think if they really needed her to be in the show (she does not need to be there) they should’ve removed her and Lupin’s “romance” entirely and instead tried to parallel Lupin and Jigen’s romance plot with her and Gaucho, showing how she and Gaucho are like a bad version of the two. That, in my opinion, would’ve worked a lot better.

Chapter 4: Too Much, Too Little

My biggest problem with Lupin Zero is it tries to cram too much into 6 episodes. If it had just stuck with Lupin and Jigen’s relationship blossoming + Lupin vs. his family, it would’ve been killer, but the stuff with Yoko as well as the final two episodes’ weird war-government plot just muddies up a great idea. It leaves me disappointed because I think Lupin Zero had so much potential but it was ruined by the writers forcing in ideas that detract from the themes already present instead of adding to them. 

Conclusion

Overall, is Lupin Zero worth a watch?

I mean it’s only 6 episodes, you might as well if you like Part 1 or Lupin x Jigen or anything of that sort.

But do I think it’s as great as people have said it is?

God, no. It’s messy and I think overall it’s a 6 or 7 out of 10. 7.5 on a good day.

Good but nothing remarkable. But if this kind of show is what Lupin III series…es went forward with? I wouldn’t be mad, not one bit.

Anyway don't forget to like and subscribe for more bad takes, ok bye see you when I remember I have a tumblr again

#lupin the 3rd #lupin sansei #lupin the third #lupin iii #lupin zero #shoutout to shmeepy #he watched it with me

[cubeapples]

I saw your anti-Jegulus post, and wanted to offer my two cents. I actually don’t personally mind Jegulus as a ship itself (I wouldn’t call myself a fan or anything, but I’m not too bothered by it), but I actually do think a lot of the fanon portrayals of Jegulus have constant hints of misogyny. For example, I’ve seen a lot of Jegulus fics/headcanons about Lily having a baby and essentially abandoning her family in order to leave room for Jegulus raising Harry. It’s a very tired cliche of fans of MLM ships trying to get women out of the way any way they can, as long as they can get use out of them first (in this scenario, Lily giving birth to Harry).

Another common thing I see is the criticism/opinion that Jily is boring (which is absolutely fair, everyone is entitled to their opinion) but then project a lot of Jily’s tropes onto Jegulus (some that I’ve seen are matching patronuses, James being extremely infatuated and pining over Regulus, or making Regulus’ personality identical to canon Lily’s and then turning Lily into a bland, one dimensional character). I think where people are coming from is that because of this, it genuinely feels like these people would in fact like Jily, and the only issue they have with it is that Lily is a woman. I also find myself genuinely wondering if Regulus would be as popular as he is now if he were a female character.

I don’t think people who like Jegulus are individually being misogynistic, I think it’s more of the general concept of Jegulus becoming popular and the treatment of all characters involved has strong undertones of misogyny.

This isn’t meant to be hateful or combative btw, so I hope it didn’t come off that way. I just saw your post and wanted to offer my perspective on it.

oh no worries anon, your message is clear. and you are right, the jegulus fandom is misogynistic in the way that you say that they are, and i dislike that.

but the point of my post is that you can't exactly be mysogynistic towards lily evans, because the author herself is already misogynistic towards her. my point was that jily is no better than jegulus.

think of it this way, lily evans, the mother of the protagonist of the series, whose love saved the protag’s life should have a more prominent role in the series. but instead, her whole life is portrayed to revolve around male characters. her role in ths story is reduced to being a mother. [i'm not saying motherhood is a bad thing, i just wish it was explored with more complexity and nuance.]

jily is also the most basic, misogynistic heterosexual pairing ever imo. james is immature, lily is mature, and james changed for her because he wanted her to like him.

that's it, that's literally it. the fact that james 'changed' himself is the more important part of their dynamic. lily herself is not shown having any feelings for james, and how she went through the process of forgiving him. james is this manchild, with atrocious behaviour and he's expected to change for lily. it's like lily isn't even her own person anymore!

i don't like the jily dynamics as well because james was lowkey blackmailing lily into dating him and the way that their romance is pprtrayed, it feels like she just eventually accepted it, after he 'changed.'

at this point, even though it was lily's love that saved harry's life, she is such a non-entity in the series. harry is portrayed to be more interested in learning about james, and lily is depicted as having NO concrete friends in canon! the mary detail in canon hardly counts because that scene was more focused on snape! another man. seriously! every aspect of her life revolves around some GUY.

not to mention, after she graduates, guess what. she stays at home to take care of the baby while james becomes a strong auror! are you seeing this?! she's a trad wife. she's literally a stay-at-home mum because she decided she wanted to get knocked up in the middle of the war. the only counter-point to this is if voldemort wasn't after harry, she might have gone to work, but it is iffy, too, because who decides it's a good idea to have a baby in the middle of a war? she could have fought alongside james but nooo she has to watch while james puts his invisibility cloak on to goof around with sirius while her baby's life is in danger.

"it genuinely feels like these people would in fact like Jily, and the only issue they have with it is that Lily is a woman." <- you're right anon, but this doesn't matter to me as i feel that both the ships are equally bad.

tl;dr: jily is also a lowkey misogynistic in my opinion. jegulus is just as bad, and you are right, some of its fans are misogynistic as well.

#anti jily #anti jegulus #anon.ask

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Well - even though the camerawork made me quite dizzy at times and thus I couldn't totally keep up with what was going on in each story - I thought Casualty was rather good, if also incredibly sad.

Rash's storyline made me cry tonight. It wouldn't have even occurred to me when the ep started to think that Ashok would die. I'm not sure how to feel about this: on one hand, I sort of feel like the Rash, Rida, and Ashok story deserved more emphasis throughout if this was going to be the outcome.

But on the other hand, having the Ashok story as just one of several stories running through the ep was an excellent way of making the way it turned out shocking and upsetting and sudden to the audience just like it was to Rash. As I say, it made me cry, and it's not all that common for Casualty to do that.

Neet Mohan's performance was brilliant. The way Rash just started sobbing like a scared little boy - wow. And it's just so sad to think that Rash is only about 30 or so and he's already lost both of his parents. Poor Rash.

I hope the show handles Rash's grief well. And Rida's, for that matter - she may not have known Ashok very long, but she clearly cared a lot for him and wanted to look after him. I imagine she'll feel like all of this is her fault - it's just an accident no one could have seen coming, of course, but in such a situation it would be so easy to end up thinking you caused it. Sarah Seggari was fantastic at conveying Rida's reactions tonight.

Speaking of Rash, I love how Dylan's become a sort of mentor to him. It's very sweet. I hope it continues. And while I'm not much of a big Joe McGann fan - that's another story - there was still something quite entertaining about seeing John Gaskell's fourth-cousin Wyatt!

I just like pretending every other Holbyverse character played by one of the McGanns is a relative of John's in some way. Considering we knew nothing about John's family - John himself knew nothing about his family - it's entirely possible. So I will continue to tell myself Wyatt is John's distant cousin. Although, I'm fairly sure Joe McGann has played so many guest characters that this would mean John has a lot of distant cousins who look oddly alike to one another. (Stephen and Mark, meanwhile, I think have only been in Casualty once or twice each.) Maybe all his characters are more closely related to each other than they are to John? Hm.

The Stevie story was intense. I'm not sure at all how to feel about it, or where any of it seems to be going, on a narrative level. However, I think when it came to the characterisation for Stevie this was the best ep in a while. It did very well at showing her PTSD, and it felt less like it was treating her like Henrik - i.e. making her character defined by trauma in a way that doesn't do any good for trauma survivors - than some others have. Stevie is a complex morally ambiguous character and I think, with the right effort, the show can let her stay that way while also showing more sympathetic angles to her.

I like that Ngozi is finally getting more backstory now. I'm interested to see where her storyline goes, though I don't have lots to say about it yet because we still don't know much. But I've loved Ngozi this whole time, so I'm glad she's getting more to do.

I'm not interested in a Teddy-Jodie-Cam love triangle. What is it with all these love triangles recently? I'm also not that interested in Cam in general - I don't hate him or anything, I like him well enough, he's just a bit boring to me. So I'm bored by love triangles and I'm becoming bored by Cam. I can think of much more interesting stories Teddy and Jodie could have whether separately or as a couple, than this.

Where was Max this week? I thought his absence was odd after he was so strongly involved last week.

Can Jacob please, please get a meaningful story? I'm tired of him being used as Iain's sidekick. He can do so much more than that. And I hate any scene where he talks about Faith because it just makes me think about how Faith is basically just exactly the same character as Tina was except Faith isn't acknowledged as an awful person. Sigh, again.

So, all in all: the Rash storyline is great, I have mixed feelings on the rest.

#BBC Casualty #Casualty spoilers