#and also feeling anxious over responding to ppl

[stupidnaturals]

.

#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me #bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer #and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on ! #unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. ' #and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out #and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like #' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that #but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to??? #and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand?? #also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me ' #or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever #and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance #which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away #like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!! #oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2 #or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too ' #and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs? #or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours #anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie? #so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again! #i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me #and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening???? #anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me

[petitprincess1]

Previous anon, I'm sorry for having send you this ask, I really shouldn't have. I didn't know I would come off like that, English isn't my first language and I was upset because I kept getting antis in my for you page, despite having blocked the tags. Again, I'm really sorry for having dumped this in your inbox, it was wrong of me

No, you're perfectly fine. I apologize for snapping at you.

I understand getting apprehensive over antis and their bullshit. As I've stated before, DO NOT feel bad liking something no matter who is attached to it. I'll include Harry Potter this time. As I said, you can like the property, but it's when you start defending the person is when it becomes a problem. At least, that's how I view it in my eyes.

I didn't need to react like that. Just something about it made me feel...prickly, for lack of a better word. I really need to breathe before I respond to asks like that. I know you meant nothing bad by it.

Just pls understand that Vivzie can only do but so much about the ppl she's working under. You're fully allowed to feel anxious, but also know her decisions are not malicious.

#hazbin hotel #ask answered #ok 2 rb

[arospecbandgeek]

I'm baaacccckkkk with a doodle and questions.

Doodle-

Teehehe I gift my silly drawings to people

1- What's her Music taste?

2- Is she only scared of Bonnie because shes a juvie convict? Or is she scared of all convicts in general?

3- Do you think that the cheerleaders, and Color Guard would have sleepovers after the performances/games? And if so, would the two be separate? Or would both teams be together?

4- Favorite animal and food?

5- Is she scared of cops? Like she knows she's a banzai blaster, so when she sees a cop or Percy (or even someone related to Percy *cough* Parker *cough*) does she get anxious like Carcrash does?

6- Any info on Blaries family? Any siblings? Is she close to anyone in particular?

7- Have you been hit by the square anon yet?

Again, I lurk and I love OC development so I'm gonna be here. Feel free to like, not answer. And don't be afraid to like ask me abt my characters. Again, I like talking Abt them and hearing ppl talk abt theirs.

thanks for the doodle! length warning again.

BLAIRE KATCHADORIAN (EE OC)

1- What's her Music taste?

Mainstream rap (90s - Now) and alternative pop (Basically the in-universe equivalents to Lana Del Ray and Florence and The Machine).

2- Is she only scared of Bonnie because shes a juvie convict? Or is she scared of all convicts in general?

Yes and no. She’s afraid of Bonnie because she could be a threat, her being an ex-convict is the main part of her reasoning, though. She knows that people go to jail for many different reasons, even if they aren’t violent, it’s just that Bonnie is a mix of both which makes her worried.

3- Do you think that the cheerleaders, and Color Guard would have sleepovers after the performances/games? And if so, would the two be separate? Or would both teams be together?

Yes. Note that I plan on showing other OCs that are cheerleaders later (I’m working on Monica, the head cheerleader, but I draw slow as hell so I’ll probably be done days from now), and I feel like they would have sleepovers. I can’t speak too well for the color guard, since they’re not my OCs, but I think they would too.

I don’t know if they’d mix sleepovers, but it would honestly be funny if they did. Like going from bickering over a practice field on Friday to watching a movie and eating ice cream the immediate day after.

4- Favorite animal and food?

Unicorns and vanilla ice cream. Unicorns because she’s an avid MLP (or equivalent) fan. She keeps that a secret though because it would be “lame to like a kids show”. She likes vanilla ice cream because it’s sweet but simple.

5- Is she scared of cops? Like she knows she's a banzai blaster, so when she sees a cop or Percy (or even someone related to Percy *cough* Parker *cough*) does she get anxious like Carcrash does?

If this AU takes place before the redwood run arc, then no. If it takes place after, then only Percy. She also wouldn’t be afraid around Parker after finding out who her relatives are, but just makes sure not to do anything illegal around her.

6- Any info on Blaries family? Any siblings? Is she close to anyone in particular?

She’s an only child with two parents named Isabella and Daniel who are (un)happily married. Blaire isn’t that close with either of them, with Isabella being a borderline neglectful wine mother who cares about business more than her kid, and Daniel being an enabler.

7- Have you been hit by the square anon yet?

The who? /gen

Again, I lurk and I love OC development so I'm gonna be here. Feel free to like, not answer. And don't be afraid to like ask me abt my characters. Again, like talking Abt them and hearing ppl talk abt theirs.

No, you’re fine. If anything I actually kinda appreciate these asks. I genuinely have nothing better to do right now. 😭 By the time the weekend’s over I’m obviously not gonna respond this quickly, but I still probably will.

I’ll ask about your OCs too, I’m just idea bankrupt right now.

thanks for the ask! 💞

#epithet erased #epithet erased oc #epithet oc #epithet erased au #bonnie murdoch (sadsoftserve) #parker king (sadsoftserve) #blaire katchadorian (arospecbandgeek) #sadsoftserve #bandgeek-oc #bandgeek-writings

[agapintheskin]

as someone who has troubles finding irl friends due to autism, fear, awkwardness, very little time and energy etc, having some sort of online community is essential for me to form friendships or at least likeminded people. People to talk to whether that's on a very superficial (fandom) level or then moves on to more personal things.

irl I've had some very good friends that I'd still consider ppl I love but I still have issues finding time and energy to meet them and essentially what happens is that you lose some connection over time, whether you like it or not, there will be things in your and their life that you might try and catch up on once you meet again but it will still feel like there's distance growing bigger and bigger. And I've also had plenty of friends, especially friends within larger friend groups, that ive lost due to fights, lack of shared interests, just growing apart.

In general, irl friends have never been close enough or stable enough to really trust them with deep shit or physical closeness. And for many reasons I've lost trust and got more anxious in getting close to people for fear of abandonment and, well autistic social reasons I guess.

On the internet it's very linked to my hyperfixations, lose it and the friends and acquaintances will most likely move on as well. Each time I find people that I legitimately have love for even if I will most likely never meet them, maybe sometimes because of it. I guess the physical distance tho sometimes lends itself to a different sort of closeness tho, more daring in what you open yourself up to.

At the end of the day I know rationally that those people I now, at this moment in time, found for myself, will not stay in my life for long, or at least not forever. And as an overthinker I'm already thinking of losing them, it's seriously annoying lmao. Like it's almost mean how I just know I'll have to say goodbye to them at some point while I'm actively having a great time.

All this to say, there has been people in my life, even recently, that told me they consider me their best friend and I have such difficulty to respond to that. It's not that it's not probably a mutual feeling (i don't know, what is a best friend?) but there's also expectations and fears connected to that for me. The loss would be bigger, the disappointment in me not being what they thought me to be would be bigger. It's so hard to explain. I just know that very few people so far have stuck with me, I don't have the strength to invest in friendships, i barely have the strength to invest in myself, and I know the people who consider me a friend, a best friend even, deserve to have someone that can't just make them laugh a lot but someone who can also be there for them when they're in trouble. And I'm so preoccupied with my own struggles that I can barely handle those situations.

I'm just a very selfish friend unfortunately. Idk what this is I just felt like writing this down, feel free to ignore, thank you if you read tho.

#personal

[facedented]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN. || respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?

uhm well i've been obsessed w/ this band & these characters ( especially 2D ) since i was a wee teenager,,,,,, his muse kinda came out of nowhere after a few years of being quiet & ran me over. he does not have a license.

is there anything you don’t like to write?

well obviously i wont write anything reprehensible or nasty but just like, surface level?? not that i can think of. it depends who / what muses im writing with, too.

is there anything you really enjoy writing?

any opportunity i can get to swim around 2D's head & make him retrospective is always a good time. i love exploring the complex thoughts characters have that we, as an audience, don't really get to see often -- or only catch glimpses of. i like getting messy & philosophical with it. but ofc angst tropes i adore, as well as found family. certain ships with 2D i also wouldnt mind exploring.

how do you come up with headcanons?

a lot of it is lived experience, i think. it'll be like "this character is just like me fr" & then i'll think of ways to make them even MORE like me. it's nice to see yourself represented, even in little ways. but sometimes i'll be inspired by fanfictions, music, tv shows . . . like i listened to an old panic! song & came up with a hc for 2D that way lmao. sometimes i'll just see humans doing human things & relate it to characters. my mind just doesn't shut up tbh

do you write in silence or do you play music?

always music. i feel like i'll pass out if i don't have some kind of sound going on constantly

do you plan your replies or wing them?

9 times out of 10 i'm winging it. sometimes, especially with first time interactions with muses from different fandoms or oc's i do some planning -- just to kind of get a grasp on who the other person is playing & how 2D would interact with them, or how their worlds would intersect. but if i worry too long it just makes me anxious haha so i just try to have fun with it & hope everyone else does, too!

do you enjoy shipping? 

im lowkey kind of reserved with my ships for 2D fjksljflks i only really have two & im not really looking to do shipping rps unless someone mused those characters & felt comfortable, but it's fun to reference his feelings in threads!

what’s your alias/name?

you can call me cal!

age?

24 years young.

birthday?

september 7th! 5 more months.

favorite color?

probably green!

favorite song?

i love music, it changes all the time.

last movie you watched?

a friend of mine showed me the second avatar movie lol

last show you watched?

'baby reindeer' on netflix. chilling.

last song you listened to?

superfast jellyfish -- gorillaz. ( shocker. )

favorite food?

idk man i love to eat but uh. i am always in the mood for chinese food.

favorite season?

fall, by far.

do you have a tumblr best friend?

not atm! most of the gay ppl in my phone are on discord lmao

tagged by : shamelessly stole it

tagging ( only if you want to! ) : @rebelpuff , @manaborn , @poeticvocals , @okoden & @moralpuppet. & anyone else who would like to!

#( ooc. / dash games . ) #should get to replies & things when i'm not so sleepy ghsjfs #so here's this in the meantime <3

[the-real-amazing-karnak]

what do you think the choirs’ parents/families/etc reactions would be if the choir open up about what happened to them in purgatory/whatever happened to them after they die, specifically about karnak since he’s like. human now

great ask!! heres what i think, character by character

Noel: his mom, i headcanon, is really sweet and is lowkey a defacto mom for his friend group since they dont all have great parents. she would be the most understanding and would actually believe him, maybe not right away but noel isnt a liar. hes very honest, and she knows that. she sees how upset he is and does her best to reassure him when she can. shes been anxious around karnak before this but isnt one to judge ppl based on preconceived notions. when noel tells her abt what karnak used to be, shes not surprised, instead is like "that explains so much." she and karnak become good friends over time bc of their shared parental instincts regarding the choir

Ocean: her parents literally do not care when she opens up to them. they either think she had a bad trip (something theyre not mad about given their backgrounds) or made the story up to try to get their attention. they play it off like a joke which obviously greatly upsets ocean bc it makes her wonder if they'd even mourn her if she died. they know of karnak bc hes usually picking ocean up for "playdates" with savannah, but they dont really like him, and vice versa. he treats oceans parents coldly, as he should. they suck.

Mischa: he would not willingly go up to his adopted parents and tell them what happened. i could see him coming home drunk one night, them confronting him, and him going on a tangent about how they wouldnt miss him when hes dead. they tell him thats ridiculous, so he spills about the cyclone accident. like, spills everything. theyre too shocked to respond, so he just goes to bed and forgets everything by morning. they arent sure if they believe him or not, but the whole idea of it terrifies them. and the way karnak catches them side glancing him in a way they hadnt before on the rare occasion where they interact, he wonders what mischa has said to them about him

Ricky: he was probably the first to tell his parents as they are the only people who actually listens to him. they think its another one of his creative stories, but hes extra adamant about this. hes never told such a sad story before, so theyre half inclined to believe him but wonder if he had a bad nightmare or something. they feel its better not to broach the subject unless he brings it up first, and they comfort him whenever he seems extra down or anxious. and no, they dont believe karnak was a robot. they assume the man is just autistic, something they know a lot about

Constance: it takes her a long time to open up about it, but she eventually does spill everything to her parents. not just about dying but also about how crappy shes been feeling. they encourage her to seek therapy, which really helps. they become closer after. they think what she said about dying was more metaphorical, even though its oddly specific. theyre the only parents besides maybe noels mom who approaches karnak about all of this, and he admits to pieces of it. he tells them whether they accept it as real or not, constance needs them to support her in the belief of its realness, so they do.

#child neglect #shitty parents #ride the cyclone #rtc #the amazing karnak #human karnak #ocean rtc #noel rtc #constance rtc #mischa rtc #ricky potts

[thesherrinfordfacility]

(last anon= me, was a bit anxious it might not go over well for some reason- off now bc changing the capitalization was a pain)

i agree on the human aus! love their flexibility, the sorta "yeah, may as well happen" you get clicking on something (with love) completely ridiculous. it's also so much fun to see what people do with crowley's eyes and his relationship to the glasses.

i'm very very early in planning this, but i want a&c to be as close to theirshow characterizations as i can possibly get them (book boys are amazing but i want the drama). i don't know that i'll do a very good job at justifying it with their backstories, but i'm gonna try. (idk. people have different opinions on personality being nature vs nurture. i can claim majority nature if it's more convenient)

i'm thinking here that crowley, personally, would have had to kill somebody or a couple somebodies, in an absolute (it at least appeared so, still does), life or death, them or him scenario (only his life saved). said somebody or somebodies would have attacked first, and out of desperation-- not totally their choice either. i'm assuming for the sake of the fic that he'd be able to do it at all, and then survive a couple decades after, so there's... something.

i just can't figure out exactly how he'd have coped with it, and whether he'd, later, think of it as justified, like how much guilt there would be. don't know what's even plausible.

my biggest problem is that framing him as 100% Good and Pure (and weirdly helpless?) like ppl do sometimes is literally my biggest fear writing this (huge mischaracterization in general). i don't want to go for the exact same indifference as in the show, for reasons you mentioned (and also that level of apathy would fuck up the entire rest of the fic), but not too far in the opposite direction, either.

tysm for the first response and considering a second, this seems a whole lot more solvable- and sorry if it's a lot to ask to go over all this (although your ability to hold a shit ton of information at once and then respond eloquently is impressive asf, looking at like every chain with LWA), i just drew a bit of a blank. also my bad if it's got a little heavy for your blog, just realized looking at the tags 😭

oh @aq-uatic you silly goose!!!✨ im absolutely fine with asks like that, please feel free to sling them my way anytime!!! ultimately tho, that's what the tw was for; just in case it was a bit heavy for someone else, but for me, personally? there's not a lot of themes that i feel uncomfortable discussing, almost all topics are welcome and i'll soon say if they aren't!!!💕

ooooh okay, so a self-defence angle!!! i think that that could be interesting to explore, because - well, you could take it from the perspective that crowley is initially very righteous in defending himself, rightly thinking that he deserved to protect himself, and the use of force was proportionate. he could initially come across as quite dispassionate and apathetic about it, "me vs. them? well of course it was going to be me!", and ultimately not want to address the whole concept of having committed murder because, on face value, it was justified. and maybe he privately doesn't want to examine it bc he's apprehensive about what he'd find?

but then as plot (and character) develops, turns out that because the whole thing was so fast, fuelled by adrenaline and the instinct to survive, crowley ends up... not being able to remember much of it? and as details start to come back, i think that's where the cognitive dissonance element would play - that he then has to reconcile himself as being someone who he feels is morally sound, 'would never harm another human being', a good person... but then is starting to remember his fear in the situation, confronting his own mortality, and what it says about him to be able to take another life with little thought other than his own self-preservation? as well as remember the specific physical details of what happened? the sounds, the smells? looks in the mirror afterwards and sees a different person looking back?

obviously without knowing the full motive of the person attacking him, who they are, what their story is etc.,... i think crowley could end up dealing with it in a way that he accepts that he cannot control others' actions, only his own. that that person chose to put him in the position of having to defend himself, and whilst, yes, that person may have had a family, friends, potential... when he's in a position of ensuring his own survival, he may have actually made the best decision he could have at the time. idk if you're planning to explore the attacker's circumstances in any depth, but if - for example - they were trying to rob him out of their own desperation (e.g. homelessness/austerity, fund addiction, peer pressured/gang context, mental health), maybe crowley would deal with that by exploring charitable work, or good causes, that seek to alleviate that very desperation? and that's how he heals from the experience?

again, hoping this might be some food for thought!!!✨💕 please do link me your fic when you've posted anything, i really admire how you're exploring this concept and it sounds really interesting and promising!!! i'll reiterate that i love getting asks, especially when they explore topics like this; i feel the LWA ones are a little bit of an anomaly, for being really analysis-heavy (which i love, let me clear), but getting to be a bit creative is exciting for me too!!!✨

#good omens #ask #tw: death #<- again adding this just in case!!!💕

[skzoologist]

The weather has been very uh,,,flaky ig is the word I'll use this time round 💀 we had a day where the day started off at 32°F (0°C) with frost all over the grass and cars and then jumped up to 65°F (18°C) so that was an experience 🧍 but I'm doing my best to stay warm! Bundling up in many many layers <3 glad to hear that the weather where you are has been nice!!

Thank you 😭😭 I wish you luck in your classes when they start up again!!

Ooh you danced too? 👀 What did you dance? :O

The festival was great! But it was really loud and there were lots of ppl which kinda got overwhelming after a bit ^^;

I think I caught it from my friend who stayed over a couple nights last week 😭 cuz no one else around me in any of my classes had any symptoms 😭😭

I'm close enough to my parents that they decided to just deliver me a bunch of food and medicine when I found out 😭 I'm mostly fine now, just still a bit congested and coughing a bit although my throat still doesn't feel all that great 🧍I should be mostly fine by the end of the week though,,,hopefully 🤞

I hope that the docs figure it out and that you feel better soon 😭😭 glad to hear that Luna's surgery went well and that she's feeling better! Also happy to hear your family member is recovering well!!

Don't worry ab updating Unfamiliarity, Jinnie 😭, we understand!! 💕

- 🐹

Oh yeah, these big jumps in the weather are deadly, we just don't start from that cold here. Not going to lie, I wish it was a bit colder, I miss being able to bundle up in a blanket without cooking myself alive...

Yeah, well, I need to succeed in my entrance exam first that is probably in may 💀 But thank you.

Ah, well, at a very young age I danced traditional dances, but it wasn't my style so I changed to group dances, where we also danced some tango, waltz, these type of traditional dances. But after a few years our teacher got really strict and competitive, so we all left the group collectively, since it was no fun anymore. And after that, I haven't danced, because I have no one to dance with and my anxious self doesn't wanna go alone. Even though it would do my dying body good too...

That is something I dislike about festivals, the crowd and how overwhelming they can get. Glad you still had fun though!

Oh! Glad that your parents are close enough to take care of you. Still, take it easy, this thing is hard to get rid of.

Yeah, well, I've been living with this for a year now almost, docs always end up saying it's allergy or stress or just my nerves. And then I'm supposed to act normal and polite after that 😃 Anyway, yes, at least the others in my family are doing good now.

Eh, do you guys though? I truly know how frustrating it is when a fic you enjoy goes on a long hiatus, especially when the author is still alive and responding, just not writing. I originally wanted to finish the story last year, write the remaining chapters while I slowly post the written ones here. That was nearly a year ago...

#🐹 anon #potat writes back

[mistydeyes]

I’m not sure if this is the correct way to ask for a mw3 pairing, if it’s not the correct way then I’m sorry. I’m also sorry that this ask will be so long..

Appearance

. Red hair, shoulder length, feathery layers with bangs, waves that curl( ?)

. 5’3

.Green eyes

.Fair skin and freckles

. Nails are most often painted black

Personality

.INFJ-T

.introvert

.Anxious

.shy with ppl I don’t know but I open up after awhile of knowing the person and that’s when I can actually relax and have fun

.not smart in the math category or anything like that

.puts other people before me, no matter how much I want something or whatever, the person I love will always come first

.gets overwhelmed easily in crowds or in places with loud noises or bright lights

.night owl, literally nothing helps me go to sleep anymore lol

.overthinker

.willing to try anything at least once

.tries to be nice to everyone even if they have done me wrong

.very oblivious when it comes to ppl flirting with me

.prefers staying in then going out but if I’m comfortable enough with the person who wants to go out I’ll be happy to go with them

Things I like

.bones and different oddities

.Old things

. Any iceberg video over something disturbing, something I can watch for hours over something I find interesting

.horror movies that make me think

.cats

.ancient history and archaeology

.museums and aquariums

.metal/rock music

What I like in a Partner

.someone older, taller, and stronger than me, i like it when I can feel protected and safe

.someone who has strong opinions cause I have hard time making decisions

.someone who doesn’t yell often or someone who isn’t loud cause loud noises stress me out

.I do like the mysterious and edgy types I can’t help myself

.someone who enjoys the same music I do

Future Aspiration

. I would like to be a forensic psychologist <3 or something similar

Simon "Ghost" Riley

How you met: Military Your time in the military was unconventional. While most people would picture you all geared up in the heat of battle, you had a different image of your time. Instead, you sat in a private office helping soldiers and their families following retirement from the army. You loved your job, your forensic psychology degree had trained you to do many things but you found this to be the most satisfying. As you looked at your next soldier for the day, you realized it was the famous Captain Price. He entered your office soon after, followed by three men. "Um, I thought I was seeing John Price today?" you asked confused. "Here to support, ma'am. Want to make sure our Captain is all set!" one of the shorter men with a mohawk replied. You gestured for them to get comfortable as you began to ask Price what he needed before returning home and provided him with a plan to stay active and happy. The whole time you lectured him, you couldn't help but notice a man with a signature ghost mask listening to your every word. You heard whispers about how he was handsome underneath it which you now believed seeing how his eyes sparkled in the afternoon light. With your last few words, you dismissed the men. The ghost masked soldier was the last to leave and he turned to you saying, "You do good work doc, we need more people like you."

A peek into your relationship: "Why do you watch this crap again?" Ghost asked as you were glued to another disturbing films iceberg video. You were settled comfortably in your bed, him with a book and you with your Youtube videos. You paused the ramblings of Wendigoon to answer your partner. "Because it's interesting," you responded before he laughed and placed a kiss on your forehead. "You're an odd one, love" he said. "You didn't say that when I brought our two kittens home" you replied defensively, now turning to face him. "Ah that's right, there is a reason I picked you," he joked before giving you a more loving kiss. "Mhmm now let me get back to this, I wanna see what's at the bottom" you said triumphantly before Ghost returned to his book, loving his life with his unique significant other.

#izziespairings #madebyizzie #cod mwii #mw2 imagine #task force 141 #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #mw2

[underoospeterparker]

hii!! i can have a 🍩 w an avenger??

i’m like 5’7” (maybe taller idk i haven’t measured in a while) and i like to get into deep convos but most of the time js need someone i can be unserious with but who’ll recognize when i’m kind of in a funk (when i get down i’m not the type of person who likes to be alone, i’m an avid believer in silent company) my main interest is film but i also like high fashion, in school a lot of ppl assume i’m not into the arts because i excel in math (skipped 3 years) and i get rlly frustrated bc a lot of the time people will only be nice to me bc they want help in school and it makes me kinda insecure abt my actual personality as a stand-alone, i consider myself pretty ambiverted bc i love being around people but only my medium-sized bubble of people, and being around anyone else makes me pretty anxious, yeah that was rlly long sorry lmao i love ur blog & i hope ur having a great week!!

welcome to my 300 celebration!

i ship you with peter parker! (assuming your gender pref is male)

a. dancing with him in the rain:

"I have an idea!" he called out one afternoon, when you were in your bedroom typing away on your laptop. "Come on, baby," he said, coming into the room to pull you away from the screen. You were laughing until he unlocked the front door and told you to put on your shoes. "What are we doing?" you asked, confused. "You know it's raining, right?" "Yes," he responded, grabbing your arm and pulling you outside into the downpour. You shrieked as the cold water hit you, and started shivering almost immediately. "Let's dance?" You looked up from your wet shoes to his face, his gaze already fixed upon yours. Your mouth spread into a grin and you wrapped your arms around his neck, his around your waist as you danced with nature all around you. "Feeling better?" he asked, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You smiled. "Much."

b. peter comforting you:

You were lying on your shared bed, head in Peter's lap as you told him about the events of your day. "They told me that I should come and join them during lunch, and I said sure," you continued, all the while Peter nodded and played with your hair, a silent gesture of comfort. When you paused, lost in your thought, Peter prompted, "and then?" "And then I showed up and they just ditched. None of them came," you said, voice wavering slightly. "But the next period, they acted like nothing had happened. Asking me for help with a math question." Your boyfriend sighed, his hand scratching at your scalp. When he talked, his voice was soothing, but you could notice its tightness. He wanted to teach them a lesson, for sure. "What assholes," he settled on saying. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You don't deserve that." "I know," you murmured into his leg. "It's just hard sometimes, you know?" He knew.

c. being anxious when you meet his friends:

He noticed a slight shake in your hands when the two of you were walking to the diner. "They're gonna love you," he said, trying to reassure you. "You've got nothing to worry about, honey." You looked at him, a worried crease already forming between his eyebrows. You gave him a smile, a small one, but one nonetheless. "Okay," you said, and once you reached the door of the diner, you opened it, stepping inside. Peter smiled when he saw his friends, who waved the two of you over with matching smiles on their faces. "Guys, this is (Y/N)," he introduced you to the group. "Nice to meet you guys," you said, giving them your best attempt at a smile. MJ motioned for you to sit next to her, and you gladly accepted her invitation. "Finally," she whispered to you. "It's been getting lonely being the only girl around here." You laughed, having already made a friend.

#peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #spider man #peter parker x y/n #300 celebration #300 followers #follower milestone #avengers #fluff #peter parker

[butchmartyr]

Hi! I'm getting married (soonish, we haven't set a date yet) to a transfemme who is early in their transition. I met them when they were 18 and j a depressed anxious socially awkward nerd and over the past like ~year I've watched them blossom into themself (it's magical). But as a tme person sometimes i feel like I'm not fit to be the main person supporting them during this journey, bc they don't have any irl tgirl/transfem friends.

Do you have any suggestions? I'm always trying to learn more about transmisogyny. I took them to get an affirming haircut by a woman I met on Lex, I help with makeup. I've been trying to help them make friends bc they still do have like, a diagnosed social phobia lol. I think it'd be good if I WASNT the main support for this stuff in many ways. And they are like 10x as confident now that they present more authentically, but it's a process. And idk. I know them rly well and love them a lot but I worry sometimes that I'm somehow hurting them or doing the wrong thing.

I know I can't do everything for them (codependency lol) but I want to be the best partner I can be. I'm always asking what they want but sometimes it's like, j figuring out as we go bc it's all new. So what would YOU want from a tme partner ig? How do you assume I could be helpful, better, etc?

Feel free not to respond if this is too much. I don't mean to be putting too much on you. I'm just trying to treat my fiance better and better each day (failing sometimes).

hello and congrats!!! first off this is so touching and aaaa. my god. anyway.

it sounds like you’re really on the right track for sure :) friends are extremely important especially for ppl in minority groups that make socializing harder, so trying to help to her get out of her shell and get to know other people is certainly a great idea; both because she deserves having something of a social group, and because like you say, trans friends can be really critical. i can’t speak with authority since I don’t know you & your situation, but it could definitely help with supporting her and whatnot; i value my transfem friends irl a lot and they’re wonderful with buoying my transition. im not sure id say you’re ‘not fit’ for it unless you dont want to be, since there’s a lot of ways to support and be there for someone’s transition. my femme is tme and she has been wonderful with my transition and helping me explore different gender stuff by helping me with womens clothes, sometimes a little makeup, and her support when im mixing things up with my presentation. she’s happy to change and play with her vocab too; when i realized i like being called pretty from time to time now she works it into when she’s teasing me or being sweet, things like that.

as far as other things id want to see in a tme partner, the willingness to look at transmisogyny and learn about it and work it over is pretty important to me; but it sounds like you’re already working on this, so just keep your mind open with a clear heart. if you make a mistake, trust that you can learn from it and move on. id also say to let her be the one to define and speak about her transition and her past as well, and not to get tripped up on gender too much; i had an ex who was a lesbian and hated hearing me talk about my past as a boy. was very unfortunate. so keep an open mind and if you don’t understand something or you’d like to understand more, try not to be too afraid to ask; I can’t speak for her exactly, but I can say i really don’t mind getting asked about gender stuff or transmisogyny since it shows that someone cares and also gives me a chance to make sure we’re on the same page. and also, while this may be a little risqué, so long as she’s not ace or something id think about making sure you touch and love on her body holistically. a lot of trans women don’t get touched like how cis and other women do, so don’t be afraid to get a little handsy if she doesn’t mind it. having our bodies be actively wanted (touching sides, thighs, etc) can be really very wonderful when we’re taught that we’re repulsive in every way that matters.

so tl;dr: getting her more friends is a great idea for a milieu of reasons! don’t walk on eggshells with transmisogyny too much, just keep an open mind and maybe think about biases sometimes but don’t let it get to your beat and beat you up over it. but I think your concern sounds like it might be a sign that you care and are gonna try, and if that’s the case then approach any issues that come up from an angle of love and i think it should buff out. anyone wanna chime in in the replies?

#keeping codependency stuff in mind is smart too. it’d likely be for the best if her support network grew :) #don’t wanna put too much on you #good luck and much love :) #asks #anonymous

[luminousdelight]

Multisectional ventpost hhhhh

Okay, the first thing here is rly just, I really dont like being in that friend server im in kinda (yk dori, that one i invited you in once). Theres like- 2 people that kinda ruin it for me completely, like I really wanna get out of it, which like- is kinda awful because thats the only place I really feel like I can stay rn- im too anxious to just suddenly start talking in random servers and irl is obv not an option for me. The reason those ppl r like a problem is just, one of them cant go 2 messages without complaining about either "commies" or "trannies" and is overall just an annoying person with how often they bring this stuff up along with their sentiment, and they sexualize alot its rly uncomfortable. The other one isnt really as annoying but still- it makes me feel uncomfortable being around them kinda, theyre pretty transphobic too but at least they dont mention it on their own. They also think the Andrew Tate getting banned from his socials stuff was unfair because he was just "ironic" so- yeah... (Late edit but theres also someone that cant shut up about how Honkai is better than Genshin and it drives me insane like yeah, maybe, idk, but can you shut up about it sometime maybe actually and not mention it every 10 seconds?? We get it Oh yeah and they did say some pretty trnasphobic stuff as well. At least those 3 are the only ones). I really dont like being there

Another thing is like, I really really hate venting ab the same thing to the same person multiple times because it just feels like- ill be kinda repetitive about it eventually :,D and a sorry for that only works so many times. So I just end up bottling up alot of stuff because im rly afraid to bother ppl too much about it. The same is a bit with these public vents too but- its not that bad there at least, my fear there is rather that all of that falls on deaf ears (or that a person I dont want reading about my struggles ends up reading it, like the ones in the server i mentioned) ;w;

And another thingy vent with that ex-(??? | hopefully not ;w;) friend. I really dont think things happened like they played it out like- idk quite know how to explain it but- theres just alot of things that just wouldnt make sense to me in that case.. I know I keep telling myself I should let go ab this over and over again but I rly cant- I just feel extremely convinced I mustve done smth wrong ;w; and in that case I just end up extremely hoping there might still be a chance to get my feelings reciprocated again if any of this just happened to be a huge misunderstanding. But its also the only part of this I really have any control over by now and this thought process just keeps making me feel more tense and tense the longer this situation goes on i just ghdjghjsdhdfhjs ;A; So I just rly wanna let go just if thats not the case but hsjhdfjhf its so hard qwp I really dont wanna be too pushy with this either, and im also not sure if they might even find out ab these posts and all that, wouldnt rly be that unexpected tho i feel, i kinda hope they will, it would make things alot easier. Please save me from this, im begging --- ;-;

Edit edit!!: Ik my reasoning is a bit nonsensical for this, I was just in complete denial still when its clearly not worth it by any metric, even if they wouldve responded by now

[meetmeatthecoda]

Sorry if this is kind of random, but I've always struggled with finding friends in a fandom because I get too nervous about interacting even in small ways and end up keeping all of my fandom stuff secret, like most of my tumblr reblogs are private and I don't tell anyone about my ao3. But I've recently resolved to work on that, so I'm planning on starting over with a new blog and a new ao3 handle and moving all of my fav old content to it and being more interactive going forward. But...old habits die hard, and since you're so so so kind and friendly, and you're one of those ppl who's known in their (corner of a) fandom, like other writers call you by your name and anons send you prompts/theories/feels and people just!! talk to you about your fics and stuff and!!!, I was wondering if maaaaaaybe you could give some pointers on how to "join"/integrate/idk!!! in a fandom? Sorry if this is a really weird or difficult question aaaa, anything even your own experience would be nice but it's ok if you don't want to answer. Happy early halloween from a debilitatingly anxious anon 💙

Hi there, anon!! ❤️ Omg, firstly let me say that while yes this is an unexpected ask, it is also a very welcome ask!! I can't say I've ever been asked something like this before, but I can also say I've perhaps never related to an ask more before!! I 1000% also... identify as... an anxious person (I'm tip-toeing with my wording here bc - while I have always been an anxious/nervous person, especially socially - I've also not been professionally assessed or diagnosed, which is solely my own doing, but I know that can be a dividing line with this topic sooooo I'll just say that... I believe that I can understand at least a little of how you feel) & fandom can be a very intimidating & nerve-wracking place!! Prior to starting this blog, I was only ever on the outskirts or in the background of the fandoms I was interested in -- The Blacklist was the first fandom I made an effort to actively be a part of, so I know how jumping in with little to no experience can be scary!! Also... ever since I hovered on the edge of fandom - peeking in with envious eyes at active bloggers, shippers, & content-creators - I have always wanted to be someone... well, someone exactly like you so kindly described me: someone who's known in their fandom & has a nickname & is even sent asks & I honestly can't believe it happened to me. And while this is by no means the only or best way to experience fandom, it is so gratifying & heart-warming & fulfilling to be so connected amidst a fandom community, especially a relatively small one like TBL!! BUT enough of my blabbering!! I'm probably the last person qualified to be giving the kind of advice you're asking for, but I'm more than happy to share my experience with you, anon, bc I feel like we're very similar people!! So, I'll list some bullet points below (under a cut bc we all know I never use one word when twenty will do lolz) on my thoughts on how to join/integrate in a fandom... if you'll be so kind as to take it all with a sizable grain of salt LOL 🤗

OKAY SO my first tip - bc this is what I remember doing the most in my baby!blog days - is:

Start by engaging with fandom content in whatever small way you feel comfortable with!! And the best way I found to do this?? Is the tags!! Tags are your friends!! That's literally all I did for the first few seasons of TBL after making this blog!! In my mind, the tags are kind of an optional/extra credit situation; you can leave them if you want to AND people can choose to acknowledge them or not. You can use them as a filing system, a place to leave your own thoughts or feelings (me AF lmfao), OR a dropbox for direct praise for the OP, which they will see in their notes!! Therefore, I've always found that to be the perfect, least stressful way of interacting in a fandom. That way, your perspective is there for anyone who chooses to see it, but people have that choice of whether or not to respond or follow you based on what they see. Plus, finding & engaging with the content you like helps you to follow the people who are making the content you like!! And, once you have, & don't be afraid to TELL THEM you like their content!! People love compliments, especially about things they're passionate about!! And I can tell you from personal experience that some of my best fandom friends were made over a love of each other's content!! On that note -

If you feel inspired, don't be afraid to step up & make your own content!! This will ID you as a fellow active fandom member which will attract the people you want to befriend!! Sidenote: this isn't necessarily why I started writing fanfic, but it was a delightful facet of the result!! Before I was a writer in the fandom, I simply reblogged gifsets & text posts by other talented creators & hesitantly - but slowly more enthusiastically - shared my thoughts & feelings!! And by the time I started writing, my blog was Lizzington-themed & familiar to fellow shippers... And when I became something of a content creator in the form of fanfic, that's when I think I really started getting asks, which is a whole other lovely part of fandom!! Of course, it always helps to be friendly & approachable (which you already are, clearly, just based on this sweet ask!!) & to leave your ask box open & your anons on if you're comfortable with that!! So, when you feel ready, be willing to converse & engage with people in comments & replies on your content, bc people want to bond over their favorite things!! And tbh in that way?? Fandom is sort of easier than real life, bc the awkward phase of "finding common ground" is already done!! OH & ON THAT NOTE -

Try to remember that anxiety is your worst enemy, even in fandom space!! Personally, I've always found fandom a place to let go of the anxiety that plagues me more in real life, but of course it's not that simple & anxiety can still be very present in online interactions!! But try to remember that other people want to make fandom friends too!! And reaching out to someone to try & make a friend is 99% of the time NOT going to be a bother to them. If you feel unsure about reaching out (which I often do!!), just picture being on the receiving end of your kind messages & offers of friendship!! Would you ever be annoyed at someone polite or reject someone kind or shun a fellow member of your fandom?? No!! And the odds are that like-minded people won't either!! But worst case?? They just won't answer & that's okay, too, bc you've lost nothing by trying!! 😍🥰❤️

So yeah, I don't know if this is good advice for you, my dear anon, it's literally just my own experience... but I have to say that I'm so proud of you for wanting to work on your fandom shyness!! (NOT that that's a necessity btw!! I'm a firm believer that SHY /DOES NOT/ = BAD!! Shyness is not a trait that needs to be "fixed" or "worked on" & it is not inherently better or worse than being "out-going", regardless of what the rest of the world likes to tell & show us. It is simply a different, equally good way of being that brings an essential variety to the world.) But the difference here is intent. You WANT to change your fandom experience & therefore you're going out of your way to do so, even though it's tough, & that's very brave!! I'm proud of you!! 😊 Anyway, if this long-ass response hasn't scared you off, feel free to pop back any time, dear anon, whether it's for more (crappy) advice, support from a fellow anxious person, or just to chat about Lizzington or anything!! Good luck to you, my friend, and remember: you can do it!! Much love to you, always!! ❤️

#Coda in real life #blog stuff #The Blacklist #Lizzington #thoughts #fanfic #mine #ask #anon #advice #experience #fandom #here you go anon!! #not sure if this is anything like what you were looking for... but i really hope it helps!! #and i'm sorry for the extra delay in answering this too... i wanted to answer right away bc i know long wait times are the enemy of anxiety #but real life wouldn't allow it unfortunately lol #i'm sorry about that!! #but anyway feel free to come back any time!! #good luck to you!! #and much love!! #❤️ #EDIT: AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO YOU TOO MY FRIEND!!!!! 🎃

[troglobite]

alsdjfalskdfj

i got distracted in the last post

something i realized was

i get mad when ppl i care abt are hurting and don't let me help them, or don't tell me they're hurting, or don't ask me for help

and i'm realizing that bit is a trauma response

bc that's all that ppl typically want me for

so if i've FAILED to provide that

if i've failed to be the person they ask for help

something is wrong

and me getting sad and hurt and upset when THEY'RE feeling that way isn't great

so i get "angry"

i "scold" them lovingly into asking for help or something

i make silly jokes to try and help

but i get mad

when i'm not around them i'm mad

and it's. trauma.

bc if they don't even want me to use me for support or advice

then... i don't matter.

and i'm frustrated bc it's like.

the radio silence could be blamed on me. i pulled back, or i don't reach out in the right ways.

but relationships are a two-way fucking street.

i am trying to make contact

and getting NOTHING in response

i CAN'T know that anything's wrong IF THEY DON'T TELL ME

i don't KNOW to reach out in any other ways bc idk what would be considered overwhelming or invasive

bc historically NO ONE LIKES ME BUTTING INTO THEIR BUSINESS AND BEING TOO MUCH

and i just--

have to be honest

the other three who seem more likely to respond to my requests to hang out and play jackbox?

they're not my favorite people. we don't get along Great. it's fine, i CAN get along w them, bc i'm a functional fucking adult and i can get along w ppl even if we don't Mesh.

but i guess the point is that i was hoping to put that effort into people who i THOUGHT could be Complete, Fully Rounded Friends, not just ppl i have to Work At to get along with.

but they--the ppl i THOUGHT would be the Friends--aren't responding or engaging. lots of humoring me.

lots of lack of interest.

lots of not talking to me.

lots of me. not mattering.

i'm trying to.

fight against my instincts that say to just Stop talking in the discord entirely.

but it's really fucking hard to want to keep doing that when the responses are so fucking tepid.

y'know what gets the quickest responses?

sharing a tag yourself-type meme.

they love to tag themselves--

and say fucking nothing abt my own response.

and just say nothing else in general.

i'd like to just forget abt all of this and go to sleep.

but i have so little in my life.

so i feel like--

well both that it's impossible to forget abt this or just get over, bc it's kind of all i fucking have

but also it feels like i don't have a leg to stand on

one has incapacitating depression

the other is going through the worst grad program i've ever had the displeasure of hearing abt

the other is going through a program that's not that bad but some of the students are, and it's on the other side of the country

they're Busy. they're Anxious. they're Tired.

and i.

have nothing.

and the only thing i DO have

relies on them being present for it.

so i can't even do that at this point.

and my offer for lower stakes stuff just keeps getting ignored. "yeah maybe" is the only thing so far.

i'm just tired.

i'm tired of not mattering.

i'm tired of being an embarrassment and an annoyance.

i'm tired of being needy and lonely and pathetic.

i'm just tired.

i wanted a different life, too.

i didn't want to be here, like this, at this age. i had plans. and hopes and dreams. literal goals. that i was actively working towards.

and now i have nothing.

and i can't even talk to any of this purported friends abt it.

bc they have more important shit in their lives.

i don't factor in. i don't matter. and they don't have the capacity or space to be there for me.

i've tested the waters, previously, trying to talk abt stuff.

tepid responses, or nothing.

and when i say that trying to catch them in the discord is like spongebob stuck in rock bottom trying to catch the bus?

i mean it.

it's hard not to see it as deliberate when i send something and sit in the discord for 20 or 30 minutes, waiting for a response, then leaving

and as soon as i leave, they respond and have a whole conversation without me

and when i show up and try to join in

they disappear again

it's hard not to see that as them deliberately avoiding me

and idk what to make of it

and i shouldn't HAVE to MAKE anything of it

they should just FUCKING TALK TO ME

but i'm tired. i'm so tired and sad and pathetic and lonely and useless and i'm just fucking tired and sick of it.

i hate being reminded of times i felt better, or doing things that make me happy

it makes the crushing emptiness of everything else so much more painful to return to.

i hate this.

[vivliotheca]

I have been absolutely paralyzed by anxiety since approximately 4:40 pm yesterday when I got an incredibly kind, supportive, and encouraging email from a coworker I had a meeting with. It's so frustrating because a nice email feels like such a silly thing to be panicked over, but I'm panicked all the same.

It's a little better this morning because I've had the time to think things through and so I know a little more about why this is freaking me out. The email, while very friendly, also included notes about our conversation in the meeting, presumably to be forwarded on to my mentor/supervisor and our boss, and included... thoughts and opinions that are both no longer accurate and now feel like incredibly bad ideas. The worst of it is that he's very supportive of these ideas! And!!! I wish he were not! They are unsustainable and imply an eagerness to oversaturate ppl with alerts about things that are low-urgency and priority!!

Worse, the email itself is directly encouraging me to not worry about things I'm likely to be anxious about, i.e. offering an idea about something I don't feel like I know enough about yet, and!!! Am I that transparent that we can have what totals ~2hrs of conversation over a period of 2 days and you can directly pin down my primary work anxieties!?!

My mentor/supervisor, boss, and nearly everyone I am familiar with at work are also away this whole week for a conference which I think has made me a little more anxiety-prone bc it makes me feel a little unmoored.

Anyways, I'm hopeful that now that I've gotten all of this out I can properly articulate my response. I'm still not sure if it's worth it to try and edit the part of the notes that's making me anxious or not.

On the one hand, that's more or less what I said, but on the other it's not precisely what I meant. I think the key phrase is "important alert" bc while I think there should be some kind of alert (and I feel confident that there already is a structure in place for that) using an important alert for something so unimportant seems wrong! But. The following bullet points seem to further clarify the intentions of that statement and it winds up a lot closer to what I had been trying to say, so I have a strong suspicion it's a communication/translation error, in which case my boss will be more likely to understand my coworker's intention behind that particular wording?

I'm going to go and respond to that email, bc I can't let it sit anymore, and I think I'll feel better once it's been responded to and out of my inbox.

#viv.txt #this is a vent post

[saltyfireykitty]

Just thinking about why I'm kind of the way I am;;

Like I understand sometimes ppl don't have a lot of energy to talk/respond to things & I understand that feeling

I think I just get anxious depending on the person bc if I haven't developed a stable enough sense of confidence with them then I will easily feel replaceable to them

It sucks that for me that I need a lot of reassurance at first to build that confidence up;; bc it's also really hard for me to ask for it bc I've always operated by the principle of I need to do it on my own, like I have to deal with anything bothering me on my own

Which I'm learning stems from my emotional neglect growing up bc I wasn't given chances to express my emotions to others so they could help me understand why I felt the way I did about stuff, so I'm really used to having to sort all of this on my own which is really hard for me bc I don't always know why I'm feeling a certain or how to deal with it;;

So it's like 1) I learned that only I can deal with my feelings bc no one else will bc they don't have the time to deal with it

2) whenever I did have a "bad" emotion it was treated like it was a bad thing & I shouldn't have them, so I really hold onto what's bothering me deep down bc any bad emotion is wrong & I shouldn't be having them bc I should be better than that

So when I do feel feelings of jealousy or anything that's not "happy" I just hold it all in bc I'm not supposed to feel that & I'm a terrible person for doing it;;

But I do really think my jealousy stems from how lonely I can be sometimes;; it sucks that the ppl I do want to hangout with don't leave anywhere near me bc I feel like that would help a lot but that's not something I can really fix atm;; but I do recognize it

Maybe another reason why I do feel lonely at times is bc I put ppl on a higher level than me like I subconsciously think they're better than me for whatever reason & I'm somehow beneath them??? Like is that why when I seem them sometimes talk to other ppl I get scared they won't want to be around me anymore bc I don't offer a lot of things to them compared to other ppl??

But like I should have things to offer tho, like I feel like I'm pretty decent at drawing, sometimes I think I'm funny! I try really hard to be nice too bc I want to treat ppl how I want to be treated

But I do feel bad that when ppl give me just a little attention I want more of it, bc it makes me wonder how lonely I am if I get jealous over seeing other ppl talking & having fun & I'm not included;;