#and begin your life of fear

[natsuphoria]

mayhaps soon (will be in the next 250 working years, my year ends are every 15 years /j)

#✧ jes screams #✧ jes screams : qian #THAT IS NOT REAL #BACK!! BACK I SAY #🤺🤺🤺 #Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet #without provocation #you have severed our détente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns. You shall curse your mother for the #go now #go #and begin your life of fear #knowing that when you least expect it #the looming sword of Damocles will crash upon you #cleaving you in twain and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life #you will regret the day you crossed me #/lh /nm

[storm-driver]

trollhunters s3 spoilers below

it's my 5th time rewatching it now, with friends this time. and just... the entire ending of s3 enamors me so heavily. it's just this ultimate culmination of the death of innocence.

and it's not bad AT ALL.

the moment Merlin tells Jim "you get the choice to become stronger and be the foe that your villain fears, or you can take your chances as you are. if you stay like this, it's entirely like you'll be killed. and if you change... a part of you is going to die forever."

you just. you immediately know the stakes. i understand that it's quite literally Jim losing his humanity, he becomes a troll, yes. but i equate it so heavily to the loss of his innocence, of his literal human-nature to love and care. because he becomes so animalistic afterwards, it's like watching someone spiral. it's a walking tragedy, especially after you watch the whole show and you can't help but UNDERSTAND WHY he's spiraled so hard.

not to mention, just... the mastercraft of the bathtub scene. it's a sensory overload of every single reason Jim wants to stay human, but at the same time, it's the EXACT reason needs to turn in order to protect all of those he holds dear.

and not just that, the fucking... the deliberate framing. he's alone, locked himself in a room. there's a phone ringing on the counter, but he can't hear it and he refuses to look. he's just sitting there, quietly, going back and forth constantly to decide what to do. his whole family and friends are beating on the door, trying to get to him, but he just won't listen.

the fact that they bleed Anton Yelchin's lines into Emile Hirsch's at times, as if it's a moment of saying goodbye to the previous voice actor. like a passing of the torch. it's almost symbolic of everything he's going to do going forward: letting his humanity, his entire self, die.

i swear, barely any shows i know these days can evoke emotions like that. where the visual metaphor of someone committing suicide is so powerful that you have to just reach out constantly and beg and hope and pray that he will turn around and open the door instead.

it's hopeless incarnate. it's the death of innocence. it's watching the quiet death of someone who just wants to better for the people around him.

it's so fucking painful, but it's god-tier story-telling and animation. i can't even imagine how they managed to write that all down.

#trollhunters #trollhunters s3 #not to mention the final ending with jim leaving arcadia #and he just turns around to look one last time with all that fear and expectancy in his eyes #and you dont hear his new voice actor say it #you hear anton yelchin #you hear the speech from the beginning. #and it's almost like jim is hearing himself talking again #he's hearing the human self he's leaving behind giving him reassurance that he can still be the trollhunter #and he can still be loved and still be a good person #despite the losses. #that...entire ending breaks me for so many reasons #and it has for so many years. #i grieve the loss of life i really do #i despair at the thought of dying without finishing your accomplishments #and i understand that anton yelchin did so much for this show and it was a tragedy he couldnt see it to the end #but that ending with him just speaking... just speaking as if he were still here and still watching #it makes me cry so much.... #i dont even know the guy but i truly mourn his loss. #the passion he had in his voice. #that's not something you find in everyone. #he really was the perfect match for james lake jr.

[ettelenethelien]

Comparative Studies, or Twice on the Verge of Falling  

The Rimôn fresco of Elwing is considered to be one of the greatest artworks of the Late Classical Era. Found in the courtyard of the old Helcaril Villa (itself a marvellous example of architectural trends during the reign of Tar-Elendil), it occupies a relatively modestly-sized, but excellently exposed niche across from the entrance. Aside from the considerable fame the artist had later gathered, it remains remarkable both for its vividness of emotional expression, contrasting to the usual art style of the era, and for the number and fame of its copies.  

The best known of these is the one gracing the lesser courtyard of the villa Surë-or-Falmar. Indeed, the glory of the two is so closely interwined that it seems impossible to ascertain which had contributed to the fame of the other more. And yet the effect of the copy wildly differs from that of the original artwork.

The Rimôn Fresco depicts the figure of the young Elwing standing on the cliff with her back to the churning waters below. She is poised halfway toward the drop, as if on the verge of throwing herself in, one hand clasping the Silmaril at her neck. Wind whips at her torn dress and loose hair. A rarity among artworks confronting the subject, it depicts neither the enemy she is facing, nor the the transformation into bird itself. The figure stands alone - and seems strikingly young. Beholders oft remark that it is hard to believe she is meant to depict a wife and a mother.  

The wild and violent atmosphere of the fresco, even though, as with most Classical works, it depicts no blood, and despite the aforementioned lack of actual fighting shown, made its artistic quality fall under scrutiny in its day. From diaries, journals and letters of the period we can, however, see that it proved intriguing enough that people would come visit the Helcaril Villa only to see it in person - and that it won over many of those who were originally critical. Thus it is difficult to ascertain whether the changed nature of the Surë-or-Falmar villa Fresco was intentional on the part of the copyist, or the sign of an inexperienced hand.  

The name of the copy's painter has unfortunately escaped history. The style is typical to the reign of Tar-Meneldur, though an exemplary of its genre rather than a dull attempt at imitating fashion. The colour combinations are soft, slightly more so than in the Rimôn Fresco, the lines clean, and the light hazy. The figure depicted is in the exact same position as that in the original artwork.  

Viewers of both frescoes predominantly agree, however, that despite the technical skill the painter has exhibited, the Surë-or-Falmar Fresco lacks something of Rimôn's Elwing. The posture is just a little less dynamic; the cliff's edge (perhaps unconsciously or accidentally) removed slightly father from Elwing's feet, making her situation seem something less desparate. The wind's effects hardly seem those of a real gale, and more an aesthetic choice. One of the most interesting judgements has been pronounced by Herunimon of Eldalondë in a letter to his cousin, Rilendur, son of Verahil, dated 24th Nárië, 901: "The S.o.F. figure seems less the Lady Elwing fenced in by foes and making a tragic choice, but more the heroine of one of those new romances, unsure whether to flee the scene after a man has confessed his love to her, or to accept his proposal - or, I hardly know, perhaps such heroines lead more exciting lives than I would guess (...) - but anyhow, the fresco seems more like a coloured plate in a rich novel, than a mural depcting a tale of the Elder Days. All in all, there is not one element which does not fit. But taken together, the effect is incongruous." (Collected Letters, volume II, as accessed from the Royal Library in Romenna)  

(from the Romenna Journal of Artistic and Literary Studies)  

***

Editor's note: Remembering the considerable public outcry after the publication of Songs of the Elder Days: Lyrics, History and Analysis, the University of Romenna along with its subsidiary organisations seek to make it understood that the views of authors, as regards the addition or not of Lord and Lady before the names of Lord Eärendil and Lady Elwing, do not necessarily represent its own. Were the University to be flippant, it might also seek to ask why proper respect being accorded to the Lord and Lady seems to be held in greater importance than that it be accorded to the Valar, but the University understands that this would bring on public outcry against it from people on both sides of the moro-political divide, so it shall keep its silence.

#A.k.a. adventures in drawing - when your sketch has more life in it than the clean copy. #I imagine this to belong to the later #but not yet Akallabêth-adjacent era of Númenor. #The era of exploration and friendly interchange is slowly giving way to imperialism #the divides are beginning to become semi-entrenched in society #and the fear of mortality is there -- #but it has not begun to consume every waking thought of the people suffering it #it is not illegal to hold to the old ways #and elves are still admired by many. #Surë-or-Falmar should translate to “Wind-over-Waves” #though I cannot be sure I did it correctly. #Rimôn is a name invented by me #supposed to sound at least a bit Adunaic; the other names are meant to be Quenya. #my post #Númenor #Elwing #tolkien #Silmarillion #silm #in universe texts #peoples of arda #in universe documents #in-universe meta #in-universe academia #fictional academia

[pinkpruneclodwolf]

For the Malleus thing: it's overexposure on my answer. Malleus is a main staple character that has a lot of fans compared to say: Cater or Kalim. Of course, Octavinelle matches in turn for numbers with Malleus but Malleus also has a dedicated shipping fandom that are so attached to him that they cause... problems.

Shipping is fine in moderation but when I see enough people start fighting that this fictional character is "their" man and not someone else's OC, I know Malleus has had too much time in their head or something warped him. I like shopping and run a sort famous /Reader blog for all genders, and that gives me insight into who people kinda want on that side and Malleus is very famous. Shipping aside, Malleus also has such diehard fans that... they forget his CHARACTER!

Malleus' fandom is the same as Octavinelle (woobifying/creeps flooding in) and now bleeding in Savanaclaw (creeps flooding in/racism against dark skinned OC's): the story is revealing that Malleus isn't gap moe and is an actual character that can do wrong, and hurt people... and they HATE that. I've seen four people drop Malleus like a hat because he was didn't understand what he was doing wrong in the Dorm Uniform. Malleus has had a rigid set of understanding of creatures and it's very straightforward instead of nuanced, and even Malleus admits that he wants to try and projects that his advancement on human understanding will only take 100 years. That's fair considering he's been in the human world for 3 FREAKING YEARS, guys. I believe if we were given how long it took Lilia to understand a human customs outside of Silver experience, it'd not do anything to people's opinions. Because to them, it's not about him learning. He doesn't know so he's obviously a BAD CHARACTER, that must be it! "He's a jerk and now I'm going to do a 180° on my own Malleus opinion that is all over my blog and gave my followers whiplash, starting a bashing war by actually not doing a proper review of his character!" No. That's unfair. Why?

Malleus is an interesting character and I'm so sad that he's gone so far into the fandom that he's been woobified and there is no self warn anything: no disclaimer that this is a more romantic Malleus compared to the canon one, or people admitting that Malleus might be OOC as his character reads so incomplete because they write him so... wrong? I think my real problem is the tail end of fandoms that radicalize and throw Malleus around as something he isn't, and that's okay to a certain degree (my /Reader blog acknowledged that Malleus is a canon as I can do without just being Readers buddy, which he's more likely to be in canon). It's just... people are too radical, I think.

I fear the wars this man will create when Chapter 7, Part 3 shows he's got more flaws then he does. I can see a Rook Chapter 5 happening. :(

But I'm not all pessimistic, I know the right fandom should be encouraged and the minority should be ignored, so I know whatever Yana/Aniplex gives us: I support. I know common artists, writer's, editors are all doing fine and I interact normally, but I hate the "drop him" culture these games have in the EN side.

Oh no I get you.

Malleus by himself is an interesting character in his own right, without needing to be steeped in fanon.

I do think that because he was left to stew on his own with pieces of content to hold Mallelikers over, people ended up turning him into their own character to fit their own needs.

And in some ways it's kinda meta because that was something he was trying to escape his whole life so that he could be welcomed by those around him.

I'm usually not as steeped in the fandom as I used to be what w college and stuff creeping up but I'm genuinely sorry that everyone has experienced some form of harassment from both sides of the fence bc one hc didn't fit the other's or the argument of whether his character is good enough or not.

It's disheartening to see others get jumped because of how strongly they feel towards a character and its horrible that you have to endure that on your page anon.

I'm honestly praying Malleus doesn't go through what Rook went thru because that moment is still be felt to this day due to how decisive it was 😭😭😭.

And it's funny bc Rook not choosing Vil was supposed to give Vil growth, who was so hard pressed on winning to the point that he'd contemplated killing his opponent and subsequently Overblotted. The point was that Vil wasn't supposed to win because it'd feed into him. It was a lesson.

With Malleus' Dorm Vignette, I'd argue that him summoning the other dorm leaders was a long time coming considering they weren't doing any affirmative actions to ensure that Malleus could attend. He brought them to him because it was the only thing he could think of; he's not good with technology, time is a construct to him, and no student is willing to approach him for the fun of it unless it's to get smth out of it. It was mostly an act of burning the village to feel its warmth tho it wasn't out of malicious intent.

In the end I can reason he was still partially wrong, he only considered brainstorming with Lilia [and Lilia, a jokester that he is, encouraged him.] Instead of talking to Crowley.

But I do think that Malleus being the poster boy has led to him being so oversaturated in the fandom that a lot of his personality is lost in translation once more.

I liken it to Ace Trappola. Fanon!Ace played up his worst traits to the max without allowing the nuance of his character growth to shine thru. Luckily, Ace is in the recovery period but the same cannot be said for Floyd 😭😭😭.

My most basic observation is that popularity takes the nuance out of characters and I'm hoping against hope that Chapter 7 shows a new side of Malleus that sets the record straight bc as someone who loves character studies watching Malleus get chopped and screwed is 🥶🥶🥶.

#malleus draconia #diasomnia #twst #twisted wonderland #scream into the void and i'll answer #i actually value the twist (pun intended) of Rook choosing neige over Vil #one because it exemplifies that Heroes will always win #but because it was a lesson for Vil who had threw everything away #and i can give Vil the venefit of the doubt in that losing all the time makes u resentful #but if he hadn'r thrown it all away he wouldve had a significantly better chance against Neige #Rook even said that the group was tired and he could see it in their performance #Rook couldnt reward that because he values putting your best foot forward #And while i love to harp on the tragedy of Malleus being such a divisive character even in his own fandom #Malleus is still a flawed character who does feed into the fears of those around him #whether it be purposefully or inadvertently #and thats where the nuance begins #he's a person who has lived his whole life in stagnation w little change #and faced with the prospect of loss #He flips #for someone who had wanted to experience some semblance of normalcy like the humans around him he failed to consider loss #also back on my point on Vil #not blaming him because i wouldve done worst #My most lukewarm take is that Vil wasnt meant to win in Chapter 5

[nateserenas]

literally to present the world with a better version of you which could mean facing your future and and forgetting past mistakes or finally settling on a brand new path while they both stare at ticket stubs from a film they saw together (literally they both kept the tickets...) and then they promptly throw away the ticket stubs as though they've just been burnt because they catch themselves doing something terrible - thinking about each other. (literally they both kept the tickets but then absolutely did not think about why they'd kept the tickets, because as if they've reached a point where they'll allow themselves to realise that maybe it's possible for them to enjoy each other's company yet. and then them throwing away the tickets is them being like nope refusing to think about why I kept this it never happened i definitely did not willingly engage in recreational activity with dan humphrey/blair waldorf and then i definitely definitely definitely did not keep the evidence it just didn't happen none of it happened i will not think about it ticket gone means no more thoughts on the matter okay case closed moving on time to go visit serena...)

#AND THEN THEY BOTH LITERALLY GO VISIT SERENA #gg voice while dan is walking out the door to see serena “ and forgetting past mistakes” blair looking at her resume blair walks into seren #but a new year doesn' #sn't wipe away old problems #dan&serena proceed to lock themselves into the same dance they've been doing since high school and it's #blair's words that are a significant part of breaking dan specifically out of it #and then blair with her resume trying to figure out where she belongs in the world and her terror at the thought of becoming her mother lea #s to her plotting and scheming for something she doesn't actually want that much #and it's in talking to dan that she starts to let herself make plans for her life based on who she is and what she actually wants to be #rather than planning her future to run from the fears that have haunted her her whole life #it's about how they've always seen each other the mistakes theyve made what they're afraid of #but also the beauty they're forced to admit exists in their enemy/frenemy (depending on the day) #so it's like now they're talking and they're showing each other how they see each other and it's so very different from how anybody else se #es them and it's these pictures that are completely different but completely accurate that help them break the patterns of their pasts #in that the newness the difference allows for the realisation of “youre not what you were” and the accuracy is like i know you we'll show e #ch other what we actually are we see each other #okay now i'm #just rambling but it's them running away from the fact that they enjoyed each other's company and then proceeding to spend the episode trap #ped in patterns they've been trapped in forever until they help each other realise that they don't have to be trapped forever and then they #end the episode beginning to actually face the future and settle on a new path when they go see another movie together #okay done now so sorry this is insanely long help

[danwhobrowses]

Stress. Pain. Sam.

#critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c3e91 #bell's hells #fresh cut grass #fcg #otohan thull #sam riegel #godspeed you damn robot #he's with the changebringer now #So uh Nanna Mori about that deal? #this is gonna really tear up Ashton their MO from the beginning was to try and keep them alive #the crew needs a cleric again now too #let history show however that the Merchant of Death that was Otohan Thull was felled by a Cleric who valued Life #let him be remembered and her forgotten #seriously Matt why Otohan? Could've just left the moon but no you had to throw in a fight with the one villain everyone fears #and then MAKE HER MORE FUCKING POWERFUL TO BOOT?? #also fuck off Zathuda her name is Fearne Calloway! #Liliana if this is your redemption arc you better do some big moves istg #you do this to me right after X-Men 97??

[yellowloid]

trying to write after like. i don't even know how long? and it feels like getting tore to pieces by a torture machine in some circle of hell but yes :) writing is my favourite hobby :) i love writing so much :)

#zero motivation zero will to keep writing but many insidious thoughts :)))))))))) #can you believe real life shitty events have the power to take a toll on your creative motivation too? the more you know! #:)))))))) #i've been wanting to do nothing but sleep since the beginning of the month i'm so fucking tired and i hate having to make decisions #feeling that weight in my stomach from the moment i wake up to the moment i go to bed #and then repeat! #feeling guilty bc you're not being productive productive but also feeling guilty if you do or don't do smth hobby-related like writing #so you just want to sleep because guess what! it's the only time you feel at peace with yourself and the world! #and real-life decisions make you nauseous and paralysed with fear so you can't bring yourself to do anything! and the guilt increases! #this was supposed to be a silly post about writing being hard but i guess this is officially a rant #but also like. yeah. not really going far with my writing in this mental state! :) #to delete

[earanie]

just finished a longfic that's left me with even more yearning than the original canon did (and that's saying quite something). help

#this new full fledged obsession is consuming my life #what about two people who have suffered too much to ever begin to recover #and whose suffering is so similar but also so different #to the point that they've inflicted each other so much pain over the years due to ignorance and circumstances #But that after everything find their way to each other and begin to try and endure together the unbearable guilt #maybe even heal in a small part? through love and patience and kindness and _understanding_ #what about pain that never goes away but it's half as heavy when it's shared? #what about realising that by all rights the love of your life will never forgive you for what you've done #what about them forgiving you against all odds? #what about the utter painfully strenuous journey of learning to accept this forgiveness? #(I'm in so deep I'll never get out I fear)

[bebettelr]

I am sick of my own shit. This idea of making the change by baby steps, one thing at a time got me nowhere FOR 3 YEARS(!)

I am done with that approach.

I am changing everything NOW

Not out of spite, anger or failures, honestly a lot of failures, but out of LOVE FOR MYSELF. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Love that is so honest right now that I feel good about getting my shit together. I am no more afraid of life.

#self love #medblr #truth #getting my shit together #getting my life together #no more fear #studybrl #new life begins #bebettelr #change #change your mind #change your life #awakening #love #self care #studyspo

[robinsnest2111]

took an involuntary nap, didn't have that messed up nightmare in a while. not since my avengers phase back in 2012, judging by the characters involved in it.

but now renfield was there too!

#nothing like a dreamscape life or death run for your life scenario to get the most unrestful nap of your life <3 #at least i know the rough plot by now and can laugh about it lmao #the first time was the scariest. by now it's like watching a really low quality horror movie #the extremely queerphobic part in the very beginning where i feared for my very life was new tho... #must be all the horrible news and political developments (negative) influencing my mind 🤔

[iridescene]

I turn 25 on Thursday...

#quarter life crisis but thats just hot girl things yknow #its not like i hate the fact that im getting older or that i fear aging but its more of like #the passage of time... like what have i been doing with my life? i should have been doing something but i feel like i barely did anything #everyone my age i know has a career or is married or has their own place and idk i feel like all this time i shouldve been doing smth to #pave the path to ascertaining and cementing my place in life... i've done very little to nothing. #just waiting for the perfect time but the perfect time doesnt exist & chasing the concept is just running from anxiety of not being perfect #and no one is ever perfect at the beginning of anything and yet #anyway im sorry if youre a friend ive ranted to abt this before #i read everything you have to say and i appreciate it and if i havent replied i will soon #but sorry some things haunt me so heres me getting those ghosts off my chest. again #iriad

[voidcat]

Why do I wanna write cyno angst

#and like v specific smt too #like maybe a little smt abt wanting kids when you’re both younger and still dating a bd he: does not. you understand you respect his decisio #Just as he understands where you’re coming from. but no matter how much he loves you he knows he cannot give you want you want. he just cant #he wouldn’t even make a good father to begin with. he is a busy man and the dangers of having Kids on top of family as the head of matra is #far too great. he does not want to put you through the stress the constant fear the risks the inevitable that smt will fall apart eventually #so it is still w love and in love and in mutual agreement when you call things off. the two of you try to stay friends. you really do but #life has other plans. #he just didn’t realize that included having to see you in the arms of another man w a smile you used to greet Him with and two kids adoring #you having your eyes your smile and your kindness within them #(maybe the other man is al haitam for extra dramatic effect idk( #danyl talks #cyno

[idaaadivock]

[gets four notes on dune post]

me to my family: I'M FAMOUSJSHSJS

#is this the real life #is this just fantasy #i love finding happiness in funny little things #not that i'm any good at it but i love it all the same #tumblr famous babeyyyy #suck on that mr. [11th grade history teacher] #he said i'd never make anything of myself #and he was wrong #i have made a FOOL of myself #according to historians fools (jesters) weren't allowed to have children for fear of their power #i would shrink any of y'all in a roast battle #except my siblings they scare me #if your siblings don't scare you or you don't have any siblings... #idk what to tell you #it's an experience #i love tumblr tags #literally my favorite thing ever #edit 1: I'M AT 12 NOTES MWAHAHAHAHSHHDJSHD #[begins to cough loudly but continues laughing]

[neverendingford]

Re tag talk - How do you practice reducing your startle response? I have a really bad startle response that I want to change but I have no idea where to even start

oooh hi how's it going? this is a fun topic because it relates to a few things so I'm gonna toss a read-more and then just kinda talk through what I know and have practiced.

-

basic context: everything said here is my opinion based on stuff I've learned and personal experience which is largely trauma-based so take it with a grain of salt. I'm no expert but I do know some stuff about psychology and shit and specifically childhood reflexes (introductory reading here) and a lot of that is vaguely relevant since trauma creates a sort of fixed mindstate (hence flashbacks and inability to grow past specific things from that trauma-point) seen in children who experience trauma by things like prolonged bed-wetting and thumb sucking, as well as emotional areas such as disordered attachment styles.

the startle we're talking about though (later on reflex not the baby moro reflex) is connected to your fear response and kind of kicks off your fight or flight response (there's more than just fight or flight, personally I freeze instead but most people know fight or flight) and in my experience it's really connected to tension. Hyper-vigilance leads to being always on edge, tensed up waiting for something bad to happen. The first step to changing anything is noticing it. paying attention to it. pay attention to where you hold tension in your body, notice which muscles tense up, which direction you jump, do your hands clench? do they push away? how long does it take you to relax again afterwards, can you relax at all? basic mindfulness meditation shit like that.

personally the place I first saw and addressed that tension was when being tickled. I'm massively ticklish and so ofc I got tickled a lot as a kid. I noticed that I'm more susceptible when I tense up. the energy catches inside, builds the tension, and you can only suppress the pressure for so long before it cracks you open and you laugh. deliberately relaxing allows the energy to flow through you instead of building up inside.

now, I'm not a big religion person, not into natural healing, not into energy and auras or any of that shit, so I think about zuko from atla learning to lightningbend instead; allowing the energy to enter and redirecting it out another way.

I've got a meditation practice I do to work on drawing out tension like that when I'm too stressed out. I find any comfortable position, you can do the traditional cross-legged sit, lean against a wall, lie down on the floor, whatever works. then I just start at my toes and work on gathering up all the tension and slowly moving upward collecting tension as I go. I collect it at my chest since that's where my tension typically rests, and then I pull it from my fingers and arms, finally externalizing it by breathing it out through my mouth.

for actual practicing of relaxing through the startle process, I started working on not startling at loud sounds. I'm a big social anxiety haver and loud sounds are my most common thing I flinch at so that was an easy way to work on it. notice when you flinch, practice relaxing after you tense.

important thing to remember: you're not killing the startle. you're not tensing up and powering through it. you're relaxing and allowing the tension to flow through you. tensing up makes you brittle, fragile. instead you need to learn to relax, to bend, to allow the energy to flow out of you instead of trapping it inside a fragile glass prism. you can't always fix the fear or nervousness or whatever, but you can change how you respond to it, and that can improve even just a small but consistent piece of your life.

you will still startle especially at first, but practice regaining your balance faster. you will still flinch but work on relaxing your muscles more quickly afterwards. you might not entirely eliminate the behavior but if you can learn to regain your equilibrium sooner and sooner after you can start catching it before it happens instead of after.

your body is beauty and soul but it's also a machine made up of a thousand million moving parts and if you can get an idea of how they work, then even just by paying attention to the things your mind does you can start affecting how it behaves. It's not about rigid self control, it's about learning how to guide your body in the ways you need it to go.

#color says shit #text post #self care #trauma #fight or flight #feel free to ask about anything specific if i didn't touch on it enough #or also feel free to let me know however you feel comfortable if I my info didn't really apply to you. #I maybe assumed a bit when talking about trauma at the beginning but you didn't specify so I kept it vague. #I believe in you. it fucking sucks when your body does things against your will and you feel out of control over it. #sucks when the world drives you and pushes you and you feel like you can't control how you respond to it. #and it's hard. it sucks. but by slowing down. calming down. breathing deeply. noticing your body. notice your pulse. your breath. #by paying attention to your body you can start to recognize the patterns and you can start getting ahead of them. #It took me a very long time to learn how to anticipate situations where my stutter would be an issue but I finally did. #and so I'm able to know ahead of time when a situation will be rough. #and similarly. you start to be able to anticipate the startle.. #also I recommend basic things like if there's someone in your life who likes to scare you you can tell them to fucking stop it please. #because people who care about you shouldn't derive pleasure from your fear and anxiety. #but it if's situations where you jump at stuff. that has much more potential for you to be able to anticipate it.

[ithrivehere]

  Hosted By: Certified Master Life Coach T. (Todd) Michael Fairchild Episode Notes: Introduction: Welcome to The Conformity Hazard. In this episode, we’ll explore Steps 7, 8, and 9 of the 12 Steps To Leaving Your Comfort Zone Behind Forever. Step 7: Channeling Your Fear Into Your Superpower. Step 8: Manifesting Change Through Visualization and Action. Step 9: Risk Is Part Of The Game Segment…

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#Action #Bravery #change #Comfort Zone #Courage #Direction #Embracing fear #Extraordinary living #fear #Growth #Moving forward #New beginnings #Ordinary life #Overcoming fears #Personal development #Positive change #progress #risk #Self-improvement #Stepping outside your comfort zone #Superpower #Taking chances #Transformation #visualization

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##most desired

y!vox x reader // y!alastor x reader // y!adam x reader

synopsis: two overlords and an angel who are insufferably in love with you. // she / her pronouns

beware: DARK THEMES // obsessive behaviour, heavy yandere aspects, stalking,

notes: the most y/n thing i ever made

you were one of the first overlords of hell that remained in the same rank to this day. everyone knew of you and dared not whisper your name in fear that you would come for them. they saw you in the streets or at downtown bars, sometimes at a corner table of ozzie’s. you were a mystery that preferred bringing misery.

little to no people knew of your background. it was swept under the rug to never be looked at again, and maybe lucifer helped with that. you were an angel before, way back when the rules were more strict and heaven was nothing more than a guarded kingdom.

“just one chance, y/n!” adam urged. “one date — that is all i ask for!”

you scoffed at his antics, growing used to his advances of being asked for your hand. “how many times do i have to say i’m not interested? i have work. get going before sera is on my ass.”

sera. your old boss and best friend — everything you worked towards was being at her level — instead came crashing down when you disagreed with the exterminations. adam watched you fall, but sera was the cause.

downstairs, lucifer helped cover it up. it was big talk around hell for quite some time until it was thrown under the rug and you could live in peace. while your power cannot compare to the rulers of hell, it comes close. you’re just careful of not showing that.

the radio demon always shown great interest in you — not that he knew you personally — but enjoyed your story like an old tale. while he isn’t sure which story is the real one, he enjoys the theories that you were just a hellborn that came up.

it was rosie who connected you both. she was a friend of yours, and one of the best cooks you’ve ever known.

“oh my stars! alastor! you have to come meet one of my good friends, you are going to love her!” rosie beckoned. “she is such a pumpkin and the cutest thing! oh, there she is! y/n!, over here sweet pea!” she strides towards your seated area.

you watched your friend gleefully place a hand on the man’s arm, her signature grin tugging at her lips. “this is alastor. alastor, this is y/n.”

it was nice to finally place a face to the name! he had a fondness to you from the start: sat with you at the small of your booth and chatted until nightfall, completely in awe of your welcoming personality.

but why wouldn’t you be welcoming? you are one of the main overlords, what is there to fear when nearly everyone is below you? alastor felt a sort of connection, a relation that you are no different than him.

his admiration only begins to grow from here and continues the more you interact. slowly, he becomes a part of your daily life and starts showing you off to the world that you are an “acquaintance.”

now it was no lie that your name started to spread around hell like a wildfire, especially to know your hiatus is officially over. back to the present of downtown bars and corner table at ozzie’s for dinner — your face was back up to being recognizable — and it was a wonderful change

it would not be until recent years when you would finally meet vox at an overlord meeting: his personality nearly matched yours. if not, then you both had a click that had you both in deep conversation right after.

you could imagine alastors dislike towards that interaction

“so you’re the big talk of hell, huh?” the host approached you with confidence inside and out. “my, what a pretty face! it’s practically made for television, how about we do something about that?” the moment brought your hand to shake his, vox brought you to his side with an arm over your shoulder as he walked you to your seat.

“what do you have in mind?” now, normally you don’t condone this behaviour — but he really piqued your interest. “it’s not like my face isn’t already noticed on the streets, for what reason does it need to be on billboards?”

“stunning features like yours should be shown off, and not just for the streets,” he emphasized. “here’s my card, we could talk more later, dear.”

alastor had a full front view of this interaction and a perfect angle of vox’s smug expression when he watched you tuck the card in your pocket.

now don’t get me wrong, adam has been watching.

he couldn’t let his sweetheart just go to hell like that! littered with sinners and demons and— you get the point. it was hard to recognize him with the mask he now wore, especially since he never made the effort to show himself to you.

what if you were angry at him? he seen your face fall when the topic of exterminating these wretched souls came up. he made a point to his angels that they do not touch a strand of your hair.

he can’t keep himself away from you though, not when there’s no bastards that are getting too cozy with you. his plans of coming back into your life needing to take a charge and fast.

coming down as he pleases to just see you, often keeping his mask on so no demon can see how he looks like. whisking you into the sky so you won’t be able to get away from him

he has your wings on display in heaven, don’t worry about it.

vox and alastor coming to find out someone from the heavens is coming to see you? this is by far the first time in history they will ever come into an agreement of something: no angel hands should ever touch your skin.

alastor makes it a point to constantly whisk you to the hotel, or sometimes his radio station to hide. “they won’t find you here, sweetheart! i’ll keep you safe.”

the way all three of them would become more and more possessive the more time you are with one or the other. you can’t say no, there is denial when wanting to just stay home alone. someone is always at your hip.

there is only so much time where you either kill one of them or they take you and hide forever: but forever isn’t long when adam has his angels searching for you each year.

“c’mon babe! we could go back up to heaven, i’ll pull some strings!” adam often confides.

“we could rule over hell with no one to undermine our power if we took the chance!” vox would persuade.

“we could hide forever and live however you desire if you just take my hand.” alastor chimes.

having these 3 men after you is something you do not want, especially when their obsession levels keep rising. at this rate, murder is an option. it’s only the matter of time.

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