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thickenmyblood · 2 months

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why did laurent start dating / having sex with maxime, even before nicaise found out? maybe this is something we find out in ch. 20, but throughout hiuh i’ve really struggled to understand or empathize with laurent in this area. you’ve mentioned him being self-destructive, or how it was good for his ego to bring a date in front of damen. but why did he feel the need to throw it in damen’s face when damen was the one who got dumped? why would he let maxime call him baby and walk all over his boundaries when this guy is a total stranger? i know some people have speculated that maxime is a uncle-stand in, but to me that doesn’t parallel bc there the abuse happened because laurent did (unfortunately) love and trust his uncle at the beginning, which enabled his uncle to abuse him. i’m honestly really trying to see where this sexual self-harm aspect of laurent comes from when it’s with a complete stranger who doesn’t seem to like laurent as a person or give him any real affection. he said sex was the foundation of their relationship, which seems odd for an ascetic person like laurent who even in hiuh canon doesn’t seem to have engaged in that kind of relationship before dating damen, when he was in a way worse physical and emotional state, unless i’m wrong.

i really, really hope this doesn’t come off as criticizing or accusatory in any way — it is your story and you can characterize laurent any way you want! to me it’s felt like this is the one area so far where laurent has been extremely defensive and refuses to take responsibility, even though it really hurt damen — not just being jealous, but being compared to maxime over and over again by laurent’s friends and implicitly by laurent himself — not to mention how it hurt nicaise. yes, damen had flings, but he didn’t try to replace laurent after two months or ever shove it in laurent’s face. and yet it feels like damen over-apologizes for ever asking about maxime or suggesting laurent’s behavior was harmful. i don’t see how damen could get over this massive insecurity when laurent appears to ridicule or dismiss him for bringing it up, like with the condom conversation or the pet name issue.

feel free to ignore this message, but always appreciate hearing why you chose a particular characterization!

hello! i get this question every once in a while so i thought i'd answer it today since we're about to be done with the story. i didn't take it as an attack or anything and it's a very cool question!

but why did he feel the need to throw it in damen’s face when damen was the one who got dumped?

in a way, reading your ask, i think you answered some of these things yourself. why did he bring maxime to a bunch of events knowing damen would be there? because he wanted the upper hand, he wanted to be seen as having moved on (remember that he thinks damen has moved on, too), because it's an ego thing. but why do it if he was the one who dumped damen? same answers, but i'd add that it's implied in the story that laurent was surprised and hurt by how easily damen went along with the break up. laurent brings it up, says he can't do it anymore, and damen just goes to work and never comes back. once again, in a toxic and insecure way, there was a part of laurent that wanted damen to fight for it, to say "wait, let's turn things around" or something. obviously, that didn't happen, and laurent interpreted that as confirmation of a lot of negative thoughts he was already dealing with (damen wants out of this but he doesn't know how to do it, damen's too "nice" to say that he wants out, damen is looking for excuses to start arguments bc he's trying to get me to end this, etc.)

this is not me justifying laurent in any way. was it childish and immature to bring maxime to events bc he knew damen would be there and he wanted, along with all the reasons listed above, to make damen jealous? yes, probably. is it petty? yes. is it ooc? i don't know. i think laurent does exhibit some pettiness in the books.

why would he let maxime call him baby and walk all over his boundaries when this guy is a total stranger? i know some people have speculated that maxime is a uncle-stand in, but to me that doesn’t parallel bc there the abuse happened because laurent did (unfortunately) love and trust his uncle at the beginning, which enabled his uncle to abuse him. i’m honestly really trying to see where this sexual self-harm aspect of laurent comes from when it’s with a complete stranger who doesn’t seem to like laurent as a person or give him any real affection.

this part of the question is a bit more complicated for me to explain. i 100% agree with people's complaints that in this aspect hiuh laurent is ooc (compared to canon laurent). in the books, he doesn't sleep with anyone but damen, so everything regarding laurent/other men is always going to be ooc in some way (unless it's non con, i suppose).

maxime has to be a stranger. maxime has to be someone laurent doesn't care about, doesn't value, doesn't respect. it would never work between them if maxime was not a stranger, which is ultimately what happens in the fic (let's, for a second, ignore the fact that they also don't work out bc lamen are in love lol). when maxime wants more, laurent cuts him out.

why does he have to be a stranger? because hiuh laurent's biggest issue in this story is that he can't be vulnerable enough to be loved and accept that love. he loved damen, but he couldn't get to a level of vulnerability that allowed him to explain himself, to show himself to damen as he really is, and without that a relationship can't last. when you feel like you have to hide parts of yourself from the person you love, eventually that turns into resentment and anger and hurt.

when he starts sleeping with maxime, he's not looking for another boyfriend. he's not looking for love. he's not sleeping with maxime because he's too horny to function either. he lets maxime fuck him because there is something to prove. and here I have to apologize because to me this detail was so clear during my writing process that I'm only now realizing I did not do a good enough job of integrating it EXPLICITLY into the story. what is there to prove? laurent has only ever slept with two people in his life and only damen was a pleasurable, consensual situation. so, here's the setting: laurent and damen break up, they go no contact, months pass, laurent is STRUGGLING (nicaise mentions this time and time and time again in the fic), laurent has no way of knowing that damen is also miserable, laurent has no way of knowing that damen hasn't moved on (damen is, actually, at this point in time, fucking other people). laurent isn't looking for love or dates or romance, but then maxime shows up and he gives laurent an opportunity to prove to himself several things:

he has effectively moved on from damen (in his mind, having sex with other people = the ultimate 'i'm done with damen" move)

he is in control. he has only had consensual sex with one person in his life, which gives damen symbolic power over him in a weird, fucked up way. or... maybe the word isn't power, but status. damen has a status in laurent's mind and memories because he's the first person laurent CHOSE to have sex with, the first person he loved and showed him it could be good, etc. as long as damen maintains that status, laurent will never stop thinking about him, will never have anything to compare damen to and say "see, it wasn't that big of a deal". which brings me to...

he wants to minimize damen. he wants dismiss what damen meant to him, what their entire relationship meant, so it can be easier to move on. how do you move on if you're thinking "oh I broke up with the love of my life lol"? laurent needs to tell himself what he had with damen wasn't unique, wasn't that special. he can have it again (the SEXUAL part).

needless to say, this fails. he has sex with maxime and finds that it's nothing like it was with damen because it's WORSE, because having sex with damen was having sex with someone who knew him and loved him and respected him. laurent has sex with maxime but he's still thinking about damen, he's still in love with damen, the same way damen is having sex with kyra or trying to date iris while thinking and missing laurent.

once this realization sort of sinks in (yes, he can have sex with other people, yet that doesn't erase damen's status in his brain bc damen was special for a bunch of reasons I'm not gonna type in here - THEY'RE IN LOVE, YOUR HONOR) that's when the self-harm comes into the picture. (this is discussed a bit in ch20 so SPOILERS but)

what kind of sex are maxime and laurent having? it's not the slow, gentle, love making stuff damen knows laurent was into. it's rough, it's degrading, it's not as pleasurable, it's a chore, it leaves marks. does laurent want those marks? we don't know. does maxime ask him if he does? we don't know. you can make it as non con as you want because the text doesn't go into detail.

the petnames. "why does laurent like it when maxime says it but not damen?" I don't think he does. he never gives damen a straight answer on this, but he does say that it makes him feel like a bimbo. it makes him feel slightly degraded. he says it wasn't terrible, but he never says he wanted it or that it was good. it's implied that damen tried it once or twice at the very beginning of their relationship, and I think we can all tell why laurent didn't like it back then with him either (bimbo feelings, laurent using him for money, the power imbalance, etc.)

uncle parallels. okay, this one's a bit tricky. yes, you're right to think that the abuse laurent's uncle subjected him to is nothing like his relationship with maxime for a plethora of reasons, but I think the narrative supports some people's opinions that maxime does resemble uncle in some ways (older, brunette, has a beard). i did not write maxime as a literal uncle stand in, so of course it's not going to be a perfect comparison. i wouldn't even call maxime and laurent's relationship abusive.

he said sex was the foundation of their relationship, which seems odd for an ascetic person like laurent who even in hiuh canon doesn’t seem to have engaged in that kind of relationship before dating damen, when he was in a way worse physical and emotional state, unless i’m wrong.

i tried to mirror canon in hiuh when it comes to laurent's... choices? in canon, damen is the first person he's with after his uncle because he's the only one laurent trusts. i don't have any doubts that canon laurent was terribly lonely and probably wanted to be loved waaaaay before damen came into the picture (post uncle, I mean) but his context and environment were so violent and dangerous that he couldn't let his guard down. similarly, in hiuh, laurent leaves his uncle's house without any money and in a very vulnerable position. he's not exactly carefree and happy and able to be like "oh I wanna date and fool around!! explore my sexuality!!!!" - in fact, this is a pretty big plot point in hiuh: laurent did contact damen out of pure necessity.

and yes, sex is the foundation of maxime/laurent for all the reasons I stated above, but at the same time it's not all about sex. it's not even about sex. it's about control and self-punishment. it's about self-hatred. we also don't know what state laurent was in when he started seeing maxime because we don't have his pov, but we do have nicaise's testimony. again, this is briefly mentioned in ch20, but it wasn't exactly pretty.

however, having said all of this, i'm not blind or dumb enough to think oh hiuh laurent is sooooo canon laurent, not a trace of ooc-ness. i get where the characterization issues are coming from. at the end of the day, I have to say that this post summarizes a tiny bit of what went into creating hiuh laurent. i tried to make him as canon as possible, but I'm not pacat and so my characterization is different. my setting is different. the modern au is different. it is completely fair to read hiuh and think as a reader "i would not have gone in this direction, i don't think laurent would ever be with someone who isn't damen, i don't think it's consistent with his canon self". i accept those comments in the same way i accept those that say they love this laurent bc of XYZ.

this is the one area so far where laurent has been extremely defensive and refuses to take responsibility, even though it really hurt damen

i understand this, but at the same time i don't know how much responsibility laurent can take over that when it's... just dating/fucking someone else after a break up. he should apologize for making damen feel bad on purpose (perhaps taking maxime places), but the rest of it... damen also fucked and thought about dating other people. the comparisons you mention were cruel, but they were made, for example, by characters like aimeric (removed from the narrative entirely later on) and ancel (who tells damen he was wrong, who tells damen he thinks laurent made a mistake letting him go).

i don’t see how damen could get over this massive insecurity when laurent appears to ridicule or dismiss him for bringing it up, like with the condom conversation or the pet name issue.

i understand that, but i also think damen's insecurity wasn't born just from this issue. he is an insecure person throughout the fic. his toxic masculinity is one way this insecurity and lack of self-confidence manifest, for example. his fixation on penetrative sex. his fixation on performance. his fixation on parenting like laurent because his own way is wrong. his fixation on never thinking about the things and people he lacks because he can't take it.

yes, laurent played a huge role in feeding that insecurity, but I'm failing to see where he is ridiculing damen. during the condom conversation, laurent snaps because he feels judged and attacked, not because he's making fun of damen's pain. during the pet name conversation, the same thing happens. and in both instances, damen is judging laurent. he judges laurent really harshly in other scenes, too, like when they find out about claude.

some of these issues are talked about in ch20, but I don't think there is a scene where laurent addresses everything. perhaps he should. i just didn't write it.

#anon #hiuh #ok so this got out of hand lol #hopefully this made sense?#i do think a few scenes in ch20 help us see that laurent is sorry and he says so but i dont know to what extent youll be satisfied with it #also i am working my ass off lmao im editing i promise i'm trying to finish it IM TRYING kjbsdkgbdskjgbkd it's just so long dudes #pray for me #pray for my ass bc im editing six hours a day #im so close to the end i can almost taste it #and YES FFS IT'S HAPPY stop doubting me #plot twist they dont end up together

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lavenoon · 10 months

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@naffeclipse since I never bothered to explain (and also will not do that in the future) how my modern day self insert actually ended up in the SJ-verse, here's an imagined menace4menace speedrun <3

*self insert is not a girl (he/ she)

og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!

Also throwing this silly character sheet out there with this because why not

#post let luce #dcamv #bloodstain fool #naffeclipse #my art #menace4menace #so i slept like 4 hours and my way of coping was “lets animate”#the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. even to me #spite and gay audacity made me do the animation in six hours #which did include frantic clicking back and forth to figure out how to copy paste stuff onto animation cels #i ended up googling the solution <3 right click “create folder and insert layer” my beloved <3 #and yeah the character sheet i finished a couple days ago #but. its not that serious lmao like this is in no way some sorta. sub au or smth. its just me fucking around #but yes. fun sunday i animated <3

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ghosttotheparty · 1 year

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with every beat of my heart

also on ao3 cw: grief, death of a parent, past child abuse, panic attack

Steve isn't in bed when Eddie wakes up.

That's what wakes him up in the first place. The lack of Steve's warmth, the way the mattress isn't dipping under his weight and dragging Eddie closer to him the way it usually does. It's still dark when Eddie blinks his eyes open, and he slides a hand out over the mattress, feeling the blankets that have been tossed back and set over Eddie's body. It's cold. Eddie pushes himself up, listening closely for the creaky floorboards in the hallway of their apartment, for any indication that Steve just went to the bathroom, went for some water or painkillers, but the apartment is silent.

Eddie sits up, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. His whole body aches the way it always does when he wakes up, but he pushes himself to his feet anyway, untangling from the blankets in the dark and tossing them back to the bed.

He creeps down the hall, squinting in the dark until he looks around the corner to see the kitchen light shining under the crooked door.

"Stevie?" he says weakly, his voice rough as he pushes the door open.

Steve is sitting at the dining table, his arms crossed on it in front of him. He's staring at the tablecloth like it's speaking to him, and he doesn't look up until Eddie says his name again. He blinks, his eyes raising up to look at Eddie blankly.

"Hey," he says, like it's perfectly normal for him to be here at two in the morning.

"What's going on?" Eddie asks, blinking his eyes in the bright light of the kitchen. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Steve breathes. "Fine."

"Steve." He goes to stand next to Steve so Steve is looking up at him, and he pushes a hand through Steve's tangled hair. It's longer now, unkempt and beautiful. Steve blinks up at him, exhaling. "What happened? You have a nightmare?"

"No," Steve says softly. "My mom called."

Eddie blinks, fully awake. She's not supposed to have their number. Steve went zero contact with his parents when they moved out of Hawkins.

"How did she..."

"Joyce gave it to her."

Eddie blinks again. Joyce knows all about Steve's parents. She wouldn't do that without a good fucking reason.

"What did she have to say?" Eddie asks softly, pulling a chair over and sitting down in front of Steve. The chairs are mismatched. All of them are. From garage sales and second-hand stores.

Steve stares at him for another few moments, his eyes almost empty. Absent. A pit grows in Eddie's stomach. Steve isn't even moving. He's usually fidgeting with something, tapping his fingers, bouncing his knee, rubbing the fabric of his shirt, rocking back and forth. Especially when Eddie made it very clear when they moved in together that it was all fine. None of it is annoying, or childish, or weird. Eddie waits while Steve stares at him, wanting to reach out and touch him, to hold his hand or his cheek, but the pit in Eddie's stomach says that's not what Steve needs right now.

"My dad's dead," Steve says finally, blinking. His eyes clear up a little bit, finally looking at Eddie instead of through him.

Eddie blinks, straightening.

"Oh."

He doesn't know what to say.

He doesn't know what there is he could say.

"He had a heart attack last night," Steve continues, possibly picking up on Eddie's speechlessness. "He didn't make it." He cracks an odd smile, tilting his head, but it fades just as quickly as it appeared. "Guess all that anger finally caught up with him."

Eddie feels sick. Like he has a fever. Too hot, almost shivering.

"How do you feel?" he asks softly.

"Mom's having a hard time," Steve says, like he's ignoring the question, but Eddie knows it just didn't register. He's not really hearing Eddie right now. "She was crying on the phone, I-- I didn't really know what to say? I said he's in a better place, but that feels so shallow, I mean--"

"Baby," Eddie interrupts. Steve shuts up, looking at him with wide eyes like he's in trouble, so Eddie finally reaches a hand out, holding it open and waiting. Steve looks at his hand like it's foreign for a moment before he slides his hand into it. He's shaking. "How do you feel?" Eddie asks again, slower.

"I..." Steve takes a deep breath, blinking at their hands, at the bands around their ring fingers they bought the day they left Hawkins. Not legal wedding rings, but neither of them has ever really cared about the law. "I don't know."

"Do you wanna go through it or around it?" Eddie asks gently. It's the same question they ask each other whenever they have nightmares or flashbacks or just generally hard days. Always a quicker way to other questions.Do you wanna tell me about it or go back to sleep? Do you wanna describe what happened or watch a movie? Do you wanna talk about it or have sex? Do you wanna cry for a while or go for a drive? But they always go through it eventually, even if they go around it first.

"I don't know," Steve breathes, his eyes suddenly glistening as he stares through the floor. "I don't know, I don't-- I don't know."

"You want me to decide?"

Steve looks into his eyes, looking scared and small and desperate. He nods. Eddie squeezes his hand and takes a deep breath.

"Let's go through it," he says softly, listening to the way Steve's voice stutters in his throat. Eddie nods encouragingly, squeezing again. "'S okay, I'm right here," he murmurs. "We'll go through it together, okay?"

"Okay," Steve says.

"Tell me what you're feeling."

Steve takes another breath.

"...Confused."

"Why?"

Steve licks his lips, looking at their hands, and his face hardens after a moment as he bites his lip, and his lip quivers, and Eddie can tell that he's aching to go around it instead. But Steve looks up into Eddie's eyes, and Eddie gives him a nod. You got it. Whatever it is you're feeling, it's okay. And Steve goes through it.

"That man," he says slowly. "Was a piece... of fucking shit."

Eddie almost smiles. He nods.

"He..." Steve takes a deep breath. Eddie squeezes his hand. "He made me fucking miserable. Every fucking day." His voice is firm, unwavering. "He made my life a living hell. And I don't..." He shakes his head like he's speechless, like he's in disbelief, and then his eyebrows furrow as his eyes fill with tears, but he squeezes them shut so the tears all fall down his cheeks, and he steadies himself. "I used to--" His voice breaks, and he chokes on it, pausing to swallow. "I used to lay in bed at night," he says, his voice softer. "And... And wish he'd fucking die. I would wish he'd have a heart attack, or-- or get in a car accident, or be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and it's so fucking shitty, but I--" He cuts off with a scoff, his expression lightening. "Every birthday wish, every eleven-eleven, every goddamn ladybug that landed on me in the summertime. I wished he'd die. I wished he'd be one of those shitty dads that just up and left his family for no good reason."

Eddie listens intently, his eyes burning, holding Steve's hand tightly.

"The only time I ever prayed," Steve says quietly, "to a god I never even believed in, it was to ask God to make my dad fuck off the face of the earth." He laughs again, dryly, weakly, shaking his head. "And now..." He swallows again. "Now, fucking what?" He looks up again, at Eddie, but he's looking through him again. Eddie nods anyway, listening. "Now I turn twenty-four, and I'm long fucking gone and he just... Now he dies." His lip is quivering, his eyes gleaming with tears. "That's not fair," he whispers.

Eddie shakes his head in agreement, because it's not fucking fair. It's not fucking fair that Steve lived in that goddamn house in fear for his whole life, his whole childhood, surviving instead of living, and only now, when he has a home, is it safe to go back.

"And that's--" Steve chokes. "That's cruel, and shitty of me to say, but I-- I don't care."

"'S not shitty, Steve," Eddie says, squeezing his hand.

"It is," Steve argues weakly. "But I don't care. He... He hurt me. For years," he says, and he's crying now, tears falling down his face that Eddie wipes away with every ounce of care he can. "And now he's dead, and I never got to tell him to his face how much he hurt me. Or how much he scared me, and I never got to tell him that I'm not scared of him anymore. Because he--" He swallows, blinking tears out of his eyes, emphasizing with a movement of the hand that Eddie isn't holding, like he doesn't want to let go of Eddie's. "Because he was nothing," Steve chokes, "but a fucking coward that put his hands on a child, and that really wasn't fair."

Eddie nods, pride glowing in his chest because Steve is getting it. He's getting everything that Eddie's tried to tell him for years, every time he's woken up from nightmares about coming home late to find his father waiting to interrogate him, about breaking a glass dish as a child because the counters were too high.

"But he-- I'm so angry," Steve says, the last word breaking on its way out, too breathy and soft. "Because why now?" A tear falls from Eddie's eye, and even in his anger and confusion, Steve wipes it away gently, almost mindlessly. "I'm twenty fucking four, and he-- he dies now. Why not-- Why not when I was eight? Or-- Or twelve? Or fifteen? Why not when I needed it to happen? Why not when I prayed for it to happen? It's not fucking fair."

"No," Eddie chokes. "'S not fair, Stevie."

"I'm so angry," Steve says, crying, gasping for breath, his hand trembling as it grips Eddie's. "I'm so angry, Eddie, I don't-- It's like there's no space in me for anything else."

Eddie lifts his hand and kisses it softly, because he can't find any words right now.

"Is this grief?" Steve wonders out loud, his eyes wandering to the floor, tracing the tiles desperately like they'll lead to an answer. "Do you have to love someone to grieve them?"

Eddie's chest aches. He wants to go around it. He doesn't want to go through it anymore.

"Because I have never loved him," Steve says almost thoughtfully, passionately. "But I..." He's still looking at the floor, and a part of Eddie wonders if Steve remembers that he's even here. If he's even still speaking to Eddie, or if he's just thinking out loud. "But if something happened to you," Steve says, answering Eddie's silent question, "or-- or Robbie, or Dustin, or..." He shakes his head, shrugging weakly. "I would be... on the floor. Screaming-- I-- I don't think I could handle it, I would be so... so angry." He looks up into Eddie's eyes. "At the fucking universe, at God, at everything that could possibly be responsible for it, but with him," Steve says. His head tilts forward, and his eyes widen. "I'm angry at him. It's like he died out of fucking spite. Like he knew, like he fucking waited. And that's not fair."

He's quiet for a moment before,

"Is it my fault?"

Eddie blinks a tear out of his eye, squeezing his hand tightly.

"Did he die because I left?" Steve asks. "Was it too much for him? Did he..."

"Steve," Eddie says firmly, prompting Steve to look into his eyes, and Eddie leans forward, speaking slowly, deliberately, firmly, leaving no room for argument. "This is not your fault. Nothing he ever did to you was your fault. You understand me?"

Steve's lip quivers, and tears spill from his eyes.

"I'm so angry, Eddie," he whispers brokenly, and Eddie nods.

"I know, honey," he says, and he stands, pulling at Steve's shoulders until Steve wraps his arms around Eddie's hips tightly, burying his face in Eddie's belly. Eddie pushes his fingers into his hair, tugging it firmly the way he likes, and he looks up at the cracked paint on the ceiling when Steve's shoulders shake as he cries. "You haven't done anything wrong," he says gently, his voice wavering. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"I'm so angry," Steve sobs into his shirt, and Eddie can barely understand him. He nods even though Steve can't see him, pulling his hair again, sliding a hand down to his upper back firmly. "I'm so angry."

"You can be angry," Eddie says softly.

The sun is rising by the time Steve stops crying. Eddie is tired from standing, but he'd stay here for days for him. Steve leaves his face buried in Eddie's belly for a little while as he catches his breath, and Eddie combs through his hair softly, holding him, loving him. When Steve finally pulls away, his eyes are wide.

"My heart," he says breathlessly. Eddie's stomach falls, and he lowers himself to kneel on the floor in front of Steve. "'S beating too-- 'S beating too fast."

"You're okay," Eddie says softly, taking Steve's hand. It's shaking almost violently, and Eddie holds it tightly. "You're okay."

"Heart attack," Steve says, his chest rising and falling quickly, his eyes flicking back and forth between Eddie's. "I'm--"

"You're not having a heart attack," Eddie says calmly, leaning close to look into his eyes, squeezing his hand before he holds it to his own chest. "You're having a panic attack. You're okay."

"Eddie, I'm-- I'm gonna die," Steve chokes, his voice slurred with panic, his words muddled together. Eddie blinks tears back, staying calm for him, and he shakes his head.

"You're not dying, my love," he says slowly. He reaches a hand up and pushes his fingers into Steve's hair, pulling it gently. "Take a deep breath for me."

Steve tries, but he's hyperventilating, his eyes wide and crying, looking desperately at Eddie, who nods, taking a deep breath himself, exaggerating the rise and fall of his chest, holding Steve's hand to it.

"You're okay," Eddie says. "Your heart is okay."

"'M angry," Steve says weakly, breathlessly.

"You can be angry," Eddie says calmly. "Your heart is okay, even if you're angry." He takes another breath, and Steve follows along, even though his breath catches and stutters and he gasps as Eddie is still exhaling. "You're not your father, Steve," Eddie says softly. "You're nothing like him."

"Eddie," Steve whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut, pressing his hand against Eddie's chest harder, his other hand gripping Eddie's forearm. "Please."

"I'm right here, baby," Eddie murmurs. "Take a deep breath for me."

Steve tries again.

"There you go," Eddie whispers. "You're okay."

"'M okay," Steve mumbles weakly.

"That's right, Stevie, you're okay. Deep breath, all the way in, all the way out."

Steve tries again.

And again.

Steve falls against Eddie when he finally gets a clear breath, like the exhale deflates him, and Eddie wraps his arms around him tightly. He's trembling, like he's freezing.

"I love you so much," Eddie murmurs in his ear. "You did so good, baby."

Steve whimpers. He's crying again. Eddie combs through his hair and keeps murmuring to him softly.

When he stops crying, Eddie carefully shifts to hold his head between his hands, and he presses kisses across his face, even though his skin is covered with tears, and his nose is running. He kisses over his forehead, and the bridge of his nose, and his cheeks, and his eyelids, and his lips, and his chin, and across his jaw and down his neck, all the while whispering to him.

I love you so much, Stevie. You did such a good job. You're okay, sweetheart.

When Steve opens his eyes, there's a soft sort of absence in them that only gets there after particularly bad nightmares. (The ones where Eddie doesn't make it.) Eddie lowers back to the floor, looking up into his eyes, and he runs his thumbs over his cheeks softly. Steve squeezes his wrist weakly, exhausted.

Eddie gets him a glass of water and stands next to him as he sips it slowly, running his hands through his hair, closing his eyes when Steve leans against him. It takes a while for Steve to finish it, but Eddie waits patiently, knowing the glass is heavy in his hand, knowing Steve wants to disappear right now. When he finishes the water, Eddie sits back in the chair in front of him, holding both his hands tightly. Steve is slouching over, looking at their hands. Eddie squeezes.

"Stevie," he whispers.

"Yeah," Steve breathes.

"Look at me for a minute."

Steve's eyes raise to his. They're glassy, shining brightly, and Eddie's chest hurts.

"It's okay to be angry," he says softly, intentionally and carefully. "And it's okay to cry. And there's nothing wrong with anything you're feeling. You understand me?"

"I don't wanna be angry," Steve says weakly, his voice small. "'M tired of being angry. I don't wanna turn into him."

"Steve," Eddie whispers. "You are nothing like him." He reaches a hand to Steve's chest and holds it there. "You have... the purest heart out of anyone I know," he says gently. "You would never do any of the things he did to you."

"I know," Steve breathes, but he doesn't seem to believe him.

"Do you trust me?" Eddie asks. Steve nods without hesitation. "Will you believe what I tell you?"

Steve stares into his eyes, now clutching Eddie's hand in both of his.

"...Okay."

"You have a beautiful soul," Eddie whispers. "And I trust you," he adds, raising his eyebrows, watching Steve's lips curve into the smallest smile Eddie's ever seen. The morning sunlight is shining on him now. He looks like an angel, his messy hair glowing in a golden halo. "You are a good, good man," Eddie says softly. "And I will remind you as many times as you need, I will remind you with every fucking beat of my heart, that you are a good man."

Steve's lip quivers again, and he closes his eyes like he's absorbing the words. A tear slides down his cheek. Eddie wipes it away tenderly.

"I love you so fucking much, Stevie."

"I love you too," Steve gasps, taking a hiccuping breath, but he exhales smoothly, blowing the air out so it blows Eddie's hair.

"Let's go to bed," Eddie murmurs.

"Okay."

Eddie leads him down the creaky hallway, holding his hand, after pouring him more water to drink. Steve gets in bed while Eddie pulls the curtains together more to block the sunlight, and then he crawls into bed too, already holding his arms out for Steve to lie in. He closes his eyes, pressing his face into Steve's hair, running his fingers through it when he feels him crying again.

He doesn't drift off until he knows Steve is asleep, when Steve is heavy against him, relaxed and breathing evenly, slowly.

Instead of going to the funeral, which his mother calls about the next week, Steve stays home with Eddie and watches a movie. Steve starts to cry halfway through it, wracked by guilt and fear and anger, and Eddie just wraps an arm around him silently, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Steve smiles the next day, light on his feet and bright in a way Eddie's never seen, and through all the years Eddie's known Steve, he's known about his father, but he realises after the funeral is done with that he never really knew the extent of it. Because after the funeral is done, Steve never has to worry about anything to do with his father again. And his eyes shine brightly, and Eddie thinks there might be a whole galaxy behind him that Eddie still hasn't explored.

Steve still gets angry sometimes, but that's okay. Because his father's face is fading from his memory, and his mother never calls him again. And Eddie reminds him as often as he can that he loves him, that he trusts him, that he's pure and beautiful and has a heart of gold. That he's okay, that he's good.

After his father dies, Steve never dreams about him again.

#me: i can finish part 14 of love me softly tonight it shouldn't take too long #my brain: no youre going to write a grief fic that'll make you cry at five in the morning #okay i am going to go to bed and hope i can maybe be productive in a few hours bc its almost six am #or at least that ill be so tired and out of it i can finish my tasks without think ing #i have so much laundry to do #wish me luck #steddie #steddie fanfic #steddie oneshot #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #stranger things fanfic

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bigcats-birds-and-books · 5 months

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consistently amazed by my own ability to Not Do The Things I'd Like To Be Doing, actually

#text #personal #writing #knitting #wf #typing #listen my problem is they're both marathon activities still #i could sprint something but alas i must be a Persistence Predator about it and uh. oof.#i have already typed six pages today but i'm quarter-assing it #finished weaving in most of my ends but. again. quarter-assing.#i want the dopamine hit of Finishing A Thing but i'm on page 58/97 of typing and i have HOURS of knitting left still #so i keep wandering around chipping at things and wondering how it got to be december 9

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give-grian-rights · 3 months

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can someone tell me why im being abnormal about a character i've barely touched the content of. like yay yippie i watched like 20 hours of you. there's fucking 80 years of content get me OUT OF HERE?

#yeah this is about nightwing. yes im a freak about him no i don't do well with comics #shout out to duke thomas in the we are robin comic i've had in my browser tabs for three weeks now #sorry king.#i mean i guess it makes sense because theres So many characters in media that you can't even get 20 hours out of . but. BUT ITS NOT FAIR.#i want to read comics so bad. i try to. i have. i've started several #blue beetle 2009 nightwing 2016... superman & batman world's finest #i was able to finish teen titans world's finest but that was only. like. six issues #comics as a medium just has this thing where. you're dropped in and it kinda expects you to know what's happening #and leaves you feeling like you started on the wrong page. like blue beetle. loved you but man that was not the greatest first comic to rea #wait i forgot i read hawkeye 2011(?) and that also had the same issue. but more so each installment like #felt like it was starting on a point AFTER something happened like i was meant to be reading another comic before i got to that issue.#i got. like. idk 18? 19? comics into that one. and 12 into nightwing. nightwing wasn't as bad but it just. gah. like several-issue long #stories carried across batman and nightwing and its like.OUGH.#i know im mutuals with a comic person. hi. i know you're cringing.#there are so many good characters to come out of comics. its just SO HARD to get into.#rn i dont have an excuse with We Are Robin. just that i've been infected with needing to play the sims for 8 hours a day.#mika-posts

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months

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empty nest

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #masumi arakawa #jo sawashiro #snap sketches #'snap arent you supposed to be asleep' YEAH SUPPOSED TO #UUUUUGGGGGHVLKJLKJLKJC WEITS DONE ITS FINALLY DONE I HATE EVERYTHING BUT NOT ACTUALLY #I SHOULDVE WENT TO BED SIX HOURS AGO BUT I DONT CAAAAARRRE ITS DONE IM FREEEEEEE I STAYED UP TO FINISH IT #free to do commission work and have a crisis this week Thats Fun (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)#ugh do i have anything left to say other than The Usual.#enjoy. please. im begging you. please enjoy.#im forcing myself to ignore small mistakes and things that generally bother me cause i can NOT work on this anymore #if i do im gonna sell my soul #OK BYE IM LATE FOR MY MORNING ROUTINE #IF THERES ANY GLARING ISSUES IDC DEAL WITH IT #IM LITERALLY GOING TO HANG MYSELF I ONLY NOW NOTICED I DID THE YEAR WRONG ON THE TWIT VERSION #I CANT EDIT TWIT POSTS NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I REMEMBERED TO FIX THE MONTH THERE BUTLKAEJLKAJ #WHATEVER IM LEAVING FORREAL NOW BYE BYE BYE DONT TALK TO ME BYE #I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO TELL MY JOKES AND DO MY COMENTARY IDC BYE BYE BYE #NEVER COLORING A LONG COMIC LIKE THIS AGAIN I PROMIIIIIISSSSEE

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wanlumi · 10 months

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Es from Caramel Column’s “Alter Ego”!

I’ve replayed this game multiple times since 2019, but never properly drew her, so this is a long overdue tribute to dearest es<3

#alter ego game #alter ego es #caramel column alter ego #es #wan draws #an actual finished art for once!!! WAHOOO!#originally meant as a doodle. But two hours became four six five. I got motivated c:

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canisalbus · 3 months

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I read the emotionally devastating famfic you pinned to your profile, and now I have an overwhelming urge to save them and write an overly sappy short fanfic to make my heart stop being broken over those poor sweet babies

#anon if you did that I would be thrilled #I would kiss your hand mentally #and most likely draw something to go with your sappy fic #answered #anonymous #good (?) to hear people are still getting devastated over Separation #I sure was #when I first finished chapter 5 I had to take a sedative and a six hour nap to recover #fic Separation

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 5 months

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Thanks for all the love on the episode one intro for my fan-written Six of Crows Spin Off script! I’ve decided to post each episode broken down into parts since they’re looking pretty long when they’re all strung together, so welcome to episode one part 2! If anyone hasn’t seen the intro yet and wants to then let me know and I can tag you, and I have been wondering whether I should make an AO3 account so I can put my fics up and it’s easier to find all the chapters so if anyone thinks that would be better then let me know (it wouldn’t stop me from putting them up here too) ❤️

Be warned I've taken a little artisitc licence (eg inserting a reference to my personal Anya headcanon in the previous part) but most of this is direct quotes/takes on direct quotes - and also I've never written a script before so my formatting is my own made up method I hope it makes sense. This section more than the previous is one where I’ve had to start making strides away from the book in order to match Show!canon but I’m trying to remain as true as possible. Hope you enjoy! ❤️

Episode One Part 2

[TITLE CARDS]

[Open on the Barrel. The camera moves into the city from the harbours, through shadows across the rooftops of East and West Stave. We are seeing the city through someone's eyes. We travel past several pleasure houses, but we do not see the Menagerie. West Stave is alive and kicking; the streets are overflowing with the colourful Komedie Brute costumes of pleasure seekers, girls in silks wave from high windows to prospective clients on the street below, acrobats hang from swings over the canal as people watch them whooping and cheering. As we leave West Stave behind and head south, we pass the Crow Club with heavy crowds outside it, and arrive on the rooftop of the Slat. The camera pans down to the street below, and the clacking of a cane is heard against the cobbles. The camera switches to street level to watch KAZ BREKKER enter the Slat, heads in the busy building quickly turning towards him. The room seems to come more alert as he walks through it.

A group of people - ROTTY, ANNIKA, PIM, and ROETTER - stand near the stairs talking. The room is still loud and they don't appear to have noticed KAZ]

ROTTY: I'm just sayin', Wraith's been scarce. Worth a mention, innit?

ROETTER: So he can set that shark's glare on me? Sign me up to the gallows first

ANNIKA: C'mon, he knows your gunning to be his new spider. Everyone knows. You actually mention it, maybe you'll get jobs comin' your way.

[Someone begins to reply but the conversation dies quickly and nervously as KAZ approaches. He clearly knows what they're talking about, but he does not acknowledge it.]

KAZ: Annika, fetch Jesper and Big Bolliger. I want them as my seconds tonight

ANNIKA: Big Bol? You sure you just want a bouncer tonight Kaz? Could be tr-

[KAZ glares at ANNIKA and she quiets, before turning to leave. The group disperses and Kaz marches up the stairs to the attic. Behind him, ROTTY can be heard expressing agreement on ROETER's point about the shark's glare. KAZ opens his window and wafts away a group of crows that have gathered there, then walks to the sink and removes his gloves. Behind him, the crows return to their perch. The camera focuses on KAZ's hands as he begins to wash them, until he straightens and sighs]

KAZ: You shouldn't feed crows

[Kaz turns and the camera follows his gaze. INEJ GHAFA sits on the window sill, reaching out to the birds]

INEJ: Why not?

[INEJ closes her eyes to feel the last of the evening sun on her cheeks. KAZ watches her intently, whatever he was going to say dying on his lips. His jaw ticks]

INEJ: Why not, Kaz?

[KAZ hesitates, breath catching]

KAZ: They have no manners

[INEJ laughs. The sun is soft and glowing on her face, her eyes are still closed. KAZ cannot stop watching her, and it terrifies him]

INEJ: Neither do you, Kaz. You didn't even say hello

KAZ: You didn't say goodbye

[There is a brief pause. INEJ looks at KAZ, then out the window]

INEJ, softly: I should have KAZ: Why are you here?

[INEJ looks out the window]

KAZ: You still hear things

INEJ: You can’t train a falcon and expect it not to hunt.

[She looks up at him]

INEJ: Heleen Van Houden.

[KAZ nods]

INEJ: Wandering into the Barrel like she wasn’t the victim in a murder investigation that nearly tore the city to shreds. And what? Having immediate claim to the house she left in the hands of Pekka Rollins?

KAZ: He’s out. When your supposed victim’s sticking her fingers back into the pocket of every magistrate in city, you find your murder charges dropping pretty quickly.

INEJ: So that’s that?

KAZ: That’s that. Everything we did, for nothing:

[INEJ runs her fingers across the scar from her Menagerie tattoo]

INEJ: For everything.

[For a moment, the silence is fraught. The pair cannot quite bring themselves to make eye contact. By the time KAZ speaks, it seems as though he is forcing himself to say it aloud]

KAZ: I have a job tonight

[INEJ looks up at KAZ, expectantly]

KAZ: We need you. I... I need you

[INEJ smiles as she climbs through the window and into the room]

INEJ: What are we doing?

KAZ: Parely, with the Black Tips. I'll need anything you can tell me on Geels' seconds - Oomen and []

[As KAZ speaks the scene dissolves into him, JESPER FAHEY, ANNIKA, PIM, ROTTY, BIG BOLLIGER, MUZZEN, and several other Dregs members standing outside the wall of the exchange later that night. KAZ's explanation of the plan continues on voiceover as we see the group arrive, talking to each other loudly]

KAZ: They've been eating away at my business on Fifth Harbour for weeks, and now they've intercepted a jurda shipment. Tonight, we discuss. And tonight, someone pays.

[INEJ stands on the roof of the exchange, looking down at the group below. As she slips down through the shadows, touching her hands to her knives and silently mouthing their names, she looks at the carvings in the stone arch entrance to the exchange: Industry, Integrity, Prosperity. She frowns. She slips to the ground a little farther down the street so she can approach the group at ground level, pausing for a moment to watch them from a darkened storefront. KAZ stands a little back from the others, leaning against his cane in the shadow of the arch. His eyes find Inej, then keep moving.]

JESPER: Three ships! The Shu sent them. Just sitting in the harbour - cannons out, red flags flying. And stuffed to the sails with gold.

BIG BOLLIGER: Would've liked to see that

JESPER: Would've like to steal that. Half the Merchant Council was down there flapping and squawking, trying to figure out what to do

BIG BOLLIGER: Don't they want the Shu paying their debts?

[KAZ steps forward into the slice of light where the others are standing, cane hitting the cobble stones loudly]

KAZ: Yes and no. It's always nice to have a country in debt to you. Makes for... friendlier negotiations

[KAZ looks specifically at BIG BOLLIGER as he speaks, wearing a crocodile's smile. JESPER shrugs]

JESPER: Maybe the Shu are done being friendly. They didn't have to send all that treasure at once. You reckon they stuck that trade ambassador?

[KAZ lifts his gaze again and this time his and INEJ's eyes meet directly. They are both thinking the same thing; brief flashback to KAZ's office. INEJ sits cross-legged on the window sill as KAZ paces slowly, and they list theories for each other about how the Trade Ambassador was murdered]

INEJ: We have to be missing something. Men don’t just walk into washrooms and find knives in their backs.

KAZ: Broad daylight, no windows, no vents. No-one in or out. Not even you could've squeezed through the plumbing

INEJ: So what? Ghosts?

[KAZ raises an eyebrow]

KAZ: Don't tell me you believe in ghosts now

INEJ: I believe in lots of things, Kaz. But perhaps wraiths aren't one of them

[The challenge is clear in her eyes and it makes KAZ uncomfortable. Return to the present]

KAZ: It won't matter what actually happened, just what everyone thinks did. The Zemeni blame the Kerch, the Kerch suspect the Shu, and no-one gets their satisfying answer before all the guns come out. It's nearly time

[KAZ gestures for JESPER and BIG BOLLIGER to remove their weapons. JESPER unslings his gun belt unhappily, and bestows a kiss on each revolver before handing them to ROTTY]

JESPER: Take good care of my babies. If I see a single scratch on them, I'll spell 'forgive me' across your chest in bullets

ROTTY: You wouldn't waste the ammo

BIG BOLLIGER: And he'd die before you finished 'forgive'

JESPER: It's about sending a message - what's the point of a dead guy with 'FORG' written on his chest?

KAZ: So, compromise. 'SORRY' does the trick - and uses fewer bullets.

[BIG BOLLIGER hands over all of his weapons, and KAZ hands over three knives]

JESPER, pointing to Kaz's cane: What about that?

KAZ: Who'd deny a poor cripple his cane?

JESPER: If it's you, any man with sense

KAZ: Then it's a good job we're meeting Geels tonight. Neutral territory, Jesper, give up the rifle

INEJ: This is a mistake

[INEJ is suddenly visible from the shadows. BIG BOLLIGER flinches away from her as the others all jump in surprise, except KAZ, and a whisper of 'the Wraith' goes through the crowd.]

INEJ: This doesn't feel neutral. Geels is up to something

KAZ: Of course he is.

INEJ: Then why come here tonight?

KAZ: Street law is street law, Inej. There's a way to do things

INEJ: You’re going to get us all killed

[JESPER smiles, stretching]

JESPER: Statistically, Inej, he's probably only going to get some of us killed

INEJ: It's not a joke

KAZ: He's not joking - he's playing the odds.

BIG BOLLIGER: Well I have a pint of lager waiting for me at the Couperron, so I can’t be the one to die tonight.

JESPER, grinning: Care to place a wager?

BIG BOLLIGER: I'm not going to bet on my own death

KAZ, running his fingers over the rim of his hat: Why not, Bolliger? We do it every day

[The church bell chimes for midnight]

KAZ: Remember: No matter what you hear, you don’t whether the fray without my say so. Stay sharp, and stay hidden

[There is a murmur of acknowledgment and agreement from the Dregs. INEJ turns towards the shadows and Kaz catches her arm to stop her. The camera focuses on her gloves and her sleeve]

KAZ: Keep an eye on the rooftop guards. Geels may have them in his pocket

[INEJ frowns but nods. She backs away slightly as Kaz releases her arm. There is tension in coming so close to touch and neither of them have missed it]

JESPER: No mourners

ALL: No funerals

[The trio enter the exchange. INEJ climbs the canal-facing wall]

INEJ, muttering to self: Street law. A relic. How would you fair if I obeyed street law, Kaz?

[She swings herself up capably and smiles]

INEJ, to self: How would you fair if I obeyed the law of gravity?

[As she climbs and the first look at the scene unfolds, KAZ and INEJ discuss the plan on voiceover; the conversation they had earlier this evening continued]

KAZ, voiceover: They’re sure precaution against you

[INEJ finds the drainpipe she reaches for slick with oil and a rim she runs her fingers over to test covered in ground glass. She smiles with grim pleasure at the knowledge she is expected]

INEJ, voiceover: They’re sure to try

[She picks the lock of a window and sneaks inside, crossing to a balcony to stand over the exchange. She watches KAZ, JESPER, and BIG BOLLIGER enter from the Eastern side of the exchange as the Black Tips - GEELS, OOMEN, and ELSINGER - enter from the Western. INEJ’s voiceover returns to tell KAZ the information she gathered about the Black Tips, and the camera focuses on each of them as she speaks]

INEJ, voiceover: Geels and Elsinger came up the ranks of the Black Tips together. There’s trust there, not exploitable. There’s little to say about Elsinger that you can’t tell by looking at him. He’s a bruiser, and he’s good at it

KAZ, voiceover: At least with Bolliger there one of us will be tall enough to look him in the eye

INEJ, voicover: If there’s any potential problem, it’s Oomen.

KAZ: Oomen, Really? He’s built like a scarecrow

INEJ: He might not look so much of a threat, but he makes me nervous. He’s violent, and he’s unafraid. They say he once crushed a man’s skull with his bare hands, wiped the blood off on his shirt, and went on drinking

[The opposing gang members pat each other down to check for weapons. JESPER finds a small knife on ELSINGER and tosses it to the corner of the Exchange]

JESPER: Naughty, naughty

[BIG BOLLIGER finishes patting down GEELS]

BIG BOLLIGER: He’s clean

[GEELS spreads his arms to indicate the start of the negotiations. He is noticeably older than KAZ and the others, but it doesn’t look like he’s weaker. He seems more confident, possibly even more commanding]

GEELS: Let’s be fair, eh? It’s not fair for you to cull every spend-happy tourist stepping off a boat in fifth harbour. We all got bills to pay

KAZ: Fifth harbour is ours. We get first crack at all the pigeons we want

GEELS: You’re young, lad, you’re fresh. Maybe you don’t know how these things work yet. Harbours belong to the city, we all have as much right to them as anyone else

KAZ: Not fifth. Maybe you don’t know how these things work, but I own majority shares in that harbour. It was all but useless to this city until I had it dredged, and built out the docks. Fifth harbour is mine.

[GEELS sniffs in disagreement, but has no counterargument]

KAZ: You’ve been interrupting our traffic, and you intercepted a jurda shipment that should have docked two nights ago

GEELS: I don’t know what you’re talking about

KAZ: I know it comes easy, Geels, but try not to play dumb with me

[GEELS steps forwards but KAZ stands his ground]

GEELS: Quit flexing, boy. We all know Per Haskell doesn’t have the stomach for a real brawl

[KAZ laughs roughly]

KAZ: But I’m the one at your table. Haskell’s out of the game - has been for a while now. Maybe you should start second guessing your sources of information

[GEELS shifts uncomfortably]

KAZ: The Dregs are my operation, and I’m not here for a taste. You want a war? I’ll make sure you eat your fill

GEELS: And if you vanish, Brekker? We all know you’re the spine of the operation - whether it’s Haskell behind the scenes or someone else. Snap it, and the Dregs collapse.

[JESPER laughs and incurs glares from everyone else]

JESPER: Stomach, spine. What’s next - spleen?

ELSINGER: Shut it

KAZ: Follow the damn rules, Jesper.

[JESPER mouths “sorry” and pantomimes locking his lips. KAZ rolls his eyes before turning back to his conversation]

KAZ: I’m fairly sure you’re threatening me, Geels. But I want to be certain before I decide what time do about it

GEELS: Then what if I told you there are two guards with city issue rifles pointed at you right now?

[INEJ tenses, eyes quickly searching the roof for the guards’ silhouettes. KAZ glances casually upwards]

KAZ: Hiring city guards to do your killing? I’d say that’s an expensive proposition for a gang like the Black Tips

[INEJ climbs up to the roof and hurries across it, ignoring the walkway that is clearly there to be used by the guards. She hides behind the gables to watch for the guards and listen to the conversation]

KAZ: I’m flattered you’d do so much just for me

GEELS: The Dregs won’t last a week without you

KAZ: I’d give them a month on sheer momentum

GEELS: Should we find out, you smug little slum rat?

KAZ: Do it

[INEJ cannot find the guards and she is panicking. KAZ is very calm]

GEELS: Should I have them shoot you in the good leg?

KAZ: Stop talking and do it. Shoot

Jesper: … Kaz?

KAZ: Go on

INEJ, to self: What game are you playing, Kaz?

GEELS: Fire!

[There’s a loud gunshot and a sudden flash. BIG BOLLIGER screams as he collapses to the floor of the exchange and JESPER runs towards him and applied pressure to the wound. KAZ raises an eyebrow]

JESPER: You worthless podge, Geels! You’ve violated neutral territory

GEELS, hiding the panic in his voice: Nothing to say you didn’t shoot first. And anyway, who’s going to know? None of you are walking out of here

KAZ: You don’t look well, Geels. Things aren’t going quite to plan, are they?

JESPER: Kaz, Bolliger’s bleeding bad

KAZ: Good.

JESPER: He needs a Medik

KAZ: He needs to stop his bellyaching and be glad I didn’t have Holst take him down with a headshot.

[GEELS flinches]

KAZ: That’s the guard’s name, right? Willem Holst and Bert Van Daal. The guards you emptied the Black Tips’ coffers to bribe. Holst likes to gamble almost as much as Jesper does, so your money held a lot of appeal. But he has bigger problems. Let’s call them… urges. I won’t go into detail - secrets aren’t like coin. They don’t keep their value in the spending. You’ll just have to take my word for it when I say that this one would turn even your rotten stomach.

[Another shot is fired, springing against the cobbles near GEELS’ feet. He jumps back in panic. INEJ tracks the source of the shot with her eyes, and heads in the opposite direction to find the other guard - VAN DAAL.]

GEELS: Just shoot him, Holst! Your secret dies with him

KAZ, snorting: You think I’m that foolish? Go on Holst, put a bullet in my skull! My messengers will reach your wife and your watch captain before I hit the ground. Are you worrying about the other guard, Geels? Maybe I got to him too. Maybe he’s getting ready to blow a hole in your chest.

[INEJ is hurrying across the rooftops towards VAN DAAL at top speed. It’s unclear if she’s going to make it in time]

KAZ: Why not give Van Daal the order and find out?

[GEELS hesitates for a moment]

GEELS: Van Daal?

[VAN DAAL opens his mouth but before he can reply a blade appears at his throat and he is forced backwards. INEJ stands behind him.]

INEJ: Hush, now

[She jabs him gently in the side; he knows there is another knife at his kidney.]

VAN DAAL: Please

INEJ: I like it when men beg. But this isn’t the time for it

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