#and hes right trying to collect stuff is a nightmare sometimes especially from older shows

[doomednarrative]

Hidenori Tokuyama has a twitter and apparently the other day while he was out he found some familiar faces of some figures on sale ~

#and hes right trying to collect stuff is a nightmare sometimes especially from older shows #he also found a punch hopper figure too but i dont think he got that one #kamen rider kabuto #tokuyama hidenori

[atopearth]

Nightshade Part 2 - Momochi Chojiro Route

I'm most excited for Chojiro (and Hanzo too I guess!) so yayayay~ I always liked how supportive he was towards Enju's growth as a shinobi and always trying to give her opportunities to do things outside of what she's used to so she can develop her own independence. It pains me to choose the option of standing up for Chojiro against Hanzo since it just makes the situation "worse", but seeing Chojiro be so kind to Enju and understand and appreciate that she didn't want them to see Chojiro in a bad light was so heartwarming. Ohhh, so Hanzo has been with the Tokugawa since he was 12 years old after they made an offer for him, mmm that's interesting. Anyway, I liked how Enju infiltrated as a maid into the estate to copy Goemon's note saying he'd steal stuff from them. I feel like everyone is really nice to her so they kinda unintentionally "leave her out" because she has no experience, so I'm glad Chojiro is constantly trying to build her up with different tasks but always being there to support her when she makes the decision thinking that she probably needs help with something. It's really cool how proactive Enju is, and how much she wants to help out everyone and be on the same level as them. I also think it's kinda cute how Enju holding on to Chojiro's sleeve when they went home after training as kids was a cute memory to share.

Enju shopping with Chojiro was cute, it really feels like rather than being "cold" like how he looks, Chojiro is actually just awkward and doesn't know how to treat people he regards as important? It was kinda sad when he said he usually doesn't have things important to him because he doesn't want to lose them (when Enju bought him a handkerchief), I wonder what he'll do when he realises that Enju is much more important to him than he thinks? Omggg I didn't expect Chojiro to hold her hand and walk around!! That's cuteee! I also love how she told him it's a peaceful era now, so he should treasure things without needing to worry about losing them. Considering he lost his whole village and his parents when he was 6 years old, that must have been hard to witness as a survivor. Ohh, so the ninjutsu Enju used to capture Goemon was from Iga! It was nice to see how happy Chojiro was when she told him that, making him feel that Iga still lives on in some way even if the village is gone. Honestly, I was pretty touched when Chojiro tried to accompany Enju to Hideyoshi, and then even tried to stop her for a moment. On the other hand, I'm not sure why Enju's father had such an evil laugh after disowning his daughter to save the village.. Unless, he really did send someone to kill Hideyoshi, and maybe that someone was actually Kuroyuki😟 Anyway, I felt bad for Chojiro. He wants to be as reckless as Gekkamaru and be able to throw away everything and run to Enju and save her, but his responsibilities and his position make that basically impossible because of the consequences it would ensue. Maybe if he was a "less important" figure and shinobi to Koga he could, and I feel like he would have wished that at this moment.

Kando ordering Chojiro and them to go hunt down Enju and Gekkamaru was pretty cruel, like wow, you really don't care about your daughter at all, now I don't even want to imagine what his wife might have went through before she died. On the other hand, it's pretty frustrating to hear the villagers talk bad about Enju (after being influenced by Kando's words etc) considering how much Enju sincerely wanted to repay them for their kindness. But I guess it's not like they really saw Enju for herself even when they "liked" her anyway. They just liked her because she was a symbol of peace, meaning that they could live a peaceful life, so now that she's disrupting it and reminding them that if she doesn't die, then the Tensho Iga War where the Iga village was decimated would occur again, then of course they would disregard her life. I'm just sad that Chojiro feels like he's not allowed to have a "choice" on what to do because he knows the pain of what a war can cause, and how he thinks that he needs to be ruthless and do it so that Ennosuke and them don't need to bear that pain of killing someone important to them. I kinda like how Kyara found her resolve to follow the order to kill Enju. She loves and cherishes Enju, but at the same time, she loves her family too and doesn't want to lose them, she chose what was most important to her, and I think it was very understandable. On the other hand, even though I find Kasumi kinda annoying sometimes with all the crying lol, it's understandable how she couldn't find the resolve to kill Enju even if she understood the consequences. Honestly though, they've said that Kasumi isn't good at fighting so I'm not sure why she's even on an assassination mission separated from the others lol. I knew Gekkamaru would prioritise Enju above the village, but actually hearing him say that everyone and the village could die if it meant Enju was all right was pretty wow. I understand though tbh, and honestly I have to agree with him. It's a dangerous sentiment but honestly, at times I remember those feelings of mine where I thought that if I had to choose between this character's life or the world, I'd definitely choose this character's life because a world where they don't exist is basically meaningless. I think the most apparent one was when I played Tales of Xillia 2 and instead of the good ending or whatever, I really just wanted the ending where Ludger chooses to save his brother haha.

Anyway, it's sad but understandable why Enju feels "ready" to die. I think if I knew my friends had to kill me to save things important to me too, I probably wouldn't have much of a will to live. It was nice to see Chojiro and Enju fight against each other like they're training, but I nearly cried for Enju when Chojiro was strangling her. I'm glad Kuroyuki came and saved her because even though Chojiro is evidently hesitant, I'm not sure if he really would have stopped, since he could have collected himself after, but at the same time, the fact that he even hesitated shows that he probably won't be able to do it. Anyway, there's something really heartwarming about both brothers (Gekkamaru and Kuroyuki) being so devoted to protecting Enju above all else. They're so different, but when it comes to Enju, they're honestly pretty obsessed with her in their own way. I honestly didn't expect Gekkamaru to die. It was true that even though Kuroyuki and Gekkamaru are brothers, they've always been well versed in fighting solo, so it's understandable how Kyara and Ennosuke could get the upper hand. I felt so bad for everyone though. Kuroyuki covered Enju from everything. Gekkamaru was tormented in his death because he wouldn't be able to protect Enju anymore. Ennosuke was sad that he couldn't go back to the village with Kyara, nor did he get to tell her his feelings, and then she got killed by the Nokizaru shinobi in front of him. It's sad that Enju didn't get the resolve to fight against them until everything became pretty much a nightmare since maybe Gekkamaru wouldn't have died if she helped, but at the same time, it's impossible to fault her for it. I think I feel sorry for Chojiro having come too late. I can't imagine the feeling of burying your disciples, especially since he was also the one who told them that they needed the resolve to kill Enju and that they were shinobi who had to succeed in their missions. I feel bad for Kasumi though. So young, so naive, and she probably feels responsible for the Nokizaru being there, when honestly, they would have been there either way, but yeah seeing all her respected older "brothers" and "sister" die killing each other would shatter anyone..

Enju realising that the village would be destroyed if she didn't die made me so sad. It's not wrong to have the desire to live, but it's understandably terrible to think that if she died back in the prison, then Gekkamaru and them would have been alive. Hearing Chojiro finally be able to express his feelings and understand that despite how much he wanted to continue being a "shinobi" that fulfilled his missions and nothing else, thinking that if he didn't fulfill his missions, it was basically death to him, really broke my heart. Mainly because he thought that losing his way as a shinobi by hesitating to kill Enju was what he was most scared and tormented about, but when he saw the lifeless bodies of his disciples, he finally realised that before being a shinobi, he is also human. He can't help but have feelings, he can't help but feel emotions even if he cannot express them or show them, because he can still feel them regardless. His disciples and Enju are more important to him than his missions, and realising that must hurt a lot.. I really wanted Kasumi to survive at least but I guess it wasn't meant to be, especially since she felt responsible for everything that happened. I also feel bad for Kasumi because she had to be the "dumb" character that causes trouble for everyone and then dies in a silly preventable way just because the story doesn't really need her anymore and might as well add to Enju's grief lol. I mean, I doubt Chojiro would have been hit by those poison needles if he didn't get shocked by Kasumi's actions and try to think of a way to save her even though it was too late, so then that made him slower to react to protecting Enju imo.

I thought it was sweet how Enju told Chojiro to hold her hand instead of grasping it so hard that it injures him, so that she can keep his happiness there (since he said his hand itches whenever he's about to lose something important to him), and even if she can't protect it, at least she can give him warmth. Aww it was so unfair that Chojiro made Enju admit that she liked the idea of them being a couple but he didn't say anything about it to her so now she's confused about whether he likes it too or not🥺 Otherwise, now that Chojiro has decided to live with the "consequences" of wanting her to stay alive, it's nice to see how much more honest and talkative he can be even if he is a bit awkward since he's so used to talking like a teacher hahaha. I knew Hideyoshi's death was suspicious and I wondered if he really was dead, but his appearance, his arrogance and his reveal that it was all like a succession game where every one of Enju's friends that were sent to hunt her down represented one of the Elders and whoever won would be Hideyori's guardian, it was all so frustrating to watch. When I think about how desperate Ennosuke and Kyara were to resolve themselves as shinobi and fulfil their missions as they should, it makes me sick to think that it was for a "master" like this who thought of them all as disposable pawns. Kanda being happy about it and the idea of getting a nice reward from it for Koga just made me think yeah, it's nice that true shinobi don't exist anymore. No one should have to go through that pain of having to be a "robot" with no emotions, existing just to be loyal to a master you barely see or know, giving your life to something that barely affects yourself, it's just so heartbreaking and anger inducing. It was nice to see Chojiro tell Enju his feelings, and then they escape together during the match🥰 It's kinda amusing how both Goemon and Kuroyuki knew to pop up now and save them haha, but I think I'm most glad that Hanzo decided to help them escape too, like I guess it was expected since it was obvious he didn't like it, but I still liked seeing it, especially when he teased Enju about giving Chojiro the antidote mouth to mouth before haha. I quite liked the bad ending! Chojiro and Enju committing suicide together was quite bittersweet and honestly one of the only choices they had if Chojiro was too injured to escape and none of them wanted to live without the other.

Overall, I really like Chojiro as a character but I think I found his route rather lacklustre. It wasn't bad, but I think the story wasn't able to build a proper connection between Chojiro and Enju before they separated in order for me to really empathise with their feelings towards each other, and so I feel like I kinda had to supplement it myself by understanding what kind of person Chojiro is. I enjoyed the dilemma Ennosuke and them had in regards to following the way of life for a shinobi and how that all ended up with the different perspectives of everyone trying their best to protect what was most important to them. However, I do think the deaths lacked impact, especially Kasumi's. I liked how Chojiro and Enju understood each other so well, but I didn't really feel the romance sadly, even though I liked how bittersweet everything was since they had to experience all these deaths that were so personal to them. The ending was pretty short in the sense that it felt like they just wanted to resolve it but not put too much thought into it, so yeah lol that was disappointing. I guess I mainly liked how they discussed the pain of being a shinobi and how Chojiro was only able to "wake up" from this responsibility after losing so many important things, but I honestly wanted something more? Considering he was the previous Iga leader's son, I thought there would be more about that, his responsibility to the survivors of his village and other stuff like that, but yeah oh well.

#hyakka hyakurou #nightshade

[uniarycode]

Takari Week, Day 3- Digital World Visit

The discovery of an old memorial sets Takeru and Hikari on a not-so-happy trip down memory lane.  Set about a month after the end of 02.  Written as part of @takariweek​

It had been sent in good faith.

Ken couldn’t possibly have known, no one would have told him.  And Daisuke would never have sent it to her, if he’d been smart enough to collect the dots.

“Beware, poop monsters may be nearby” attached was a picture displaying a crude statue of sorts, rocks piled together to create the vague facsimile of ‘digital sludge’.

Or at least, that’s what she had been going for, when she was eight.

Ken wouldn’t have known that.

Daisuke wouldn’t have either, not explicitly.  She had only said she’d made a shrine to the Numemon, there was no need to explain what it looked like.

It should have been reformatted anyway.

Iori had chimed in with some wisdom about how most Digimon didn’t want a fight, and that any conflict at all should be avoided.

Miyako was muttering about meeting with Mimi later, and not wanting to go smelling like poop.

There was no more reason for them to know than Daisuke.

And if she was being fair, the lingering odor of digital sludge was not something anyone wanted to deal with for the rest of the day.

The point of it was to smell, to identify an aggressor to other Digimon, and if nothing else it would annoy an attacking Digimon. There was a host of Digimon that relied on the sludge as a defense, as they were too weak to scare off even lower level attackers.

No, not weak, she scolded herself.  They were never weak.  They were simply not suited to combat.

A ping notified her of a message from Takeru: “Do you need to talk?”

She typed a single world in response “Yes”

***

It was risky to go anywhere in the digital world without your jogress partner.  Most Digimon would not stake their lives on a fight, and the appearance of a perfect level would be able to scare off even more powerful attackers.  There was no evidence that Tailmon or Angemon could evolve if needed, and less that Aqualimon or Ankylomon could.

Both she and Takeru tended to be a bit conservative in these matters, so when they requested to pair up, it was taken seriously.

Iori had been understanding, but Miyako looked a little hurt.  It wasn’t that the older girl was insufficient or inept, it was just easier to talk about this with someone who already knew.

Someone who had been there.

Pegasmon and Nefertimon flew in silence after the tradeoff.  Even with just the two of them and their partners, Hikari was unsure what to say. Nefertimon suggested they head to the memorial, and the group had quietly departed.

It was odd:  a grassy meadow, between two trees, with a river flowing a few feet away.  It was nothing like the wasteland she’d first constructed the memorial in.  A less attached observer may even claim it was the statue that tarnished the otherwise picturesque landscape.

Hikari would be too kind to correct them.

“It shouldn’t be here.” She said.

“I know.” Takeru answered calmly.

“Why wasn’t it reformatted?” she asked, the question directed as much at the wind as at her companions.

“I don’t know.” Takeru responded.

She waited for a few minutes, still trying to get her emotions in check.  “Do you think they were able to be reborn?” she asked.

“I do.”

“Why?  If this wasn’t reformatted properly, then why would anything else?  How do you know they are okay?” she accused.

“I don’t.” he responded “But Whamon, Leomon, and Piccolomon were.  There’s no reason they wouldn’t have been either.”

She felt a small comfort at that.  Admittedly she’d never met Leomon the first time, and had only a brief encounter with Piccolomon.  Still they had by all accounts died, and then come back.

“The digital world is not like your world.” Tailmon said, “Forests, lakes, even mountains can be destroyed in a particularly fierce fight, and they are rebuilt within months.  Perhaps this monument is part of the code now.”

“So it will be here forever?” she asked wistfully.

“Maybe.” Tailmon responded.

There was a break, as she collected her thoughts.

“Do you think, do you think they regret it?” Hikari asked. “That they hate me?”

“No.” Takeru said, wrapping his arms around her. “It was their choice, and it was Mungendramon who did it.  If anything, I think they’d thank you.”

“Thank me?  For getting them killed?”

“For freeing them.”  Takeru clarified. “For giving them the ability to fight back.”

She felt tears begin to pool in her eyes. “I still dream about it sometimes, all those Numemon rushing in and then vanishing in a flash.” She closed her eyes, letting darkness console her.

“Sometimes the dream ends there, sometimes, it goes further. Agumon doesn’t evolve.  I just watch as he takes you out one by one.  First Taichi and Agumon, then Sora and Biyomon, then Koushiro and Tentomon, and finally you.  All of you.  Until I’m the only one left.”

A soft squeeze reassured her of Takeru’s presence, as Tailmon began to brush against her leg. “It’s fine.” Takeru said, “I’m here, we’re here.  And he isn’t.”

“I know.  He can’t hurt us anymore.  None of them can.  But that doesn’t stop the dreams.” She cracked a sad smile. “Pretty lame, huh.”

“No!” Patamon cried out. “Not lame!  It’s cool.  Like a battle scar.”

The flying hamster’s enthusiastic denial forced her to open her eyes, show her not only his serious face, but Takeru’s face, which was wracked with torment.

“You too?” she asked incredulously.  It shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise, given what they’d all went through.  And yet, Takeru had always seemed so calm to her, so brave.  Especially three years ago.

“Some nights.” He admitted quietly.  “Not Mungendramon normally, but others.”

“Who?” she asked. She regretted the word as soon as it left her tongue.  It somehow seemed too intimate to ask.

If Takeru shared her opinion, he didn’t show it. “Devimon mostly.”  Hikari nodded in understanding, she hadn’t heard the full story herself, but had overheard enough rushed conversations to piece it together. “But others too,” he continued, “playing hide and go seek in Pinochimon’s mansion.  Endlessly running away in Piemon’s castle.”

“And also,” he paused, studying her face. “When Vamdemon took over the city.”

She let out an involuntary shutter at the name, and Tailmon’s hair began to stand on end.

“I thought so.” Takeru said sadly, pulling her close once more.

It took a few minutes for her to rally enough nerve to speak, but takeru merely held her patently.

“It’s been getting worse.  Ever since, you know.” She couldn’t say it, but it should have been obvious. “He just doesn’t seem to die.  No matter what we do, no matter what prophecies we fulfil.  He just keeps coming back, stronger than before.”

“Third time’s the charm.” Takeru offered a paltry attempt at cheering her up.

“I’m being serious.” She scolded “We barely beat him last time, and Tailmon, Patamon, all of them, they split into all their evolutions, and then every chosen in the world came together.  If he were to come back stronger, how could we top that?”

“I don’t know, but we would.” Takeru replied.

“You’re just saying that.” She pouted.

“I’m not.  It’s based on history.  We’ve fought foe after foe, each more powerful than the last.  And in the end, we always win.  And if Vamdemon or Devimon, or any of them come back, we’ll beat them again no matter what.”

She held him tighter, as if she could absorb his optimism though osmosis alone.  

They stood like that for a few minutes, finding comfort in each other’s arms, not caring what might happen if one of the others found them and misinterpreted the situation.

“We should say a prayer.” Takeru said suddenly, breaking them out of the moment. “Right now.  We’ll pray for the Numemon.  Since we’re already here, it’s the least we can do.”

“I thought you said you thought they were alive.” She asked meekly.

“I do.  You can offer prayers for the living too, Hikari.  Most of my prayers are sent to those around me.” Takeru said, turning her around. “We can pray that they are happy and healthy, wherever they are now.”

She knelt in front of the memorial alongside Takeru, as he began his prayer.  Somehow it seemed so much smaller than it had three and a half years ago, when she’d first made it.

And yet, that wasn’t the only thing that had changed.

When she had first constructed the monument, it was in a wasteland tarnished with darkness.  Made on a world warped and mutilated by the Dark masters, and then reduced to one quarter of its size as the Dark masters died out.  A monument to some outcast Digimon, who had met their end valiantly, but seemingly vainly, against a far more powerful oppressor.

But now it sat in this green meadow, framed by a pair of trees, with the calming sound of a nearby river flowing past.  The oppressor was long gone. And those memorialized remained, living lives full of joy and happiness.

A testament to the peace they had all worked for.

Takeru finished his prayer and turned to her. His face turned first to confusion, before it began to light up.

“What?” she asked, looking away from his gaze.

“You’re smiling.” He said simply, it’s infectious.

She almost didn’t believe it, even walked over to the river to see a grin reflected on her face.  And not a sad smile, or a somber grin, but a warm, gentle smile.

She turned back to Takeru, “Better?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She said nodding. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”  He said, as he began to collect their stuff.

“Do you think we could mark this place down somehow?” she asked. “I think I might want to return sometime.”

“I’m sure we could.  I’ll ask Koushiro.”

She smiled, not looking away from the monument as Tailmon and Patamon became Nefertimon and Pegasmon and flew off.

From that day on, she had one less nightmare to worry about.

#Takari week #Takari #takeru takaishi #hikari yagami #digimon #it's only Tuesday and I've already caught up to my buffer #might get a bit touch and go from here on out

[nobleclover]

Silver Screen Sneak - In!

“What do you mean that I can’t see the new movie, Mom?!” CJ whined, his lips pursed into a sour pout.

             You’re probably wondering as to what movie he is so eager to see yet was forbidden to by his mother, Angel. Well, that movie just so happens to be Psycho, directed by Alfred Hitchcock and released on September 8th 1960 for all the public to witness while simultaneously terrorising themselves. Definitely not a film suitable for a ten year old cup like him.

             “Because you’re too young, you’ll get nightmares and school’s only just started! Now run along and finish your homework!” she ordered him before turning back to the row of oysters she gathered that day to make oyster sauce. As she began cracking them open, she heard her precocious little boy stomp up to the bedroom that he shared with his other three siblings and sighed. She didn’t like having to end a conversation like that, but, as his mother, she had to be firm with him, especially since he wanted to go see a HORROR movie of all things.

             In his room, CJ lied on his back across his bed glaring at the ceiling. He really wanted to see the movie after hearing about it from Sorrel, Cagney and Hilda’s teenaged son while he was learning some gardening. Sure, he knew that he was young, but he would hear of his other friends in school discuss scary TV shows that they were allowed to watch, like The Twilight Zone. He was a bit jealous of not being allowed to watch them like his peers, especially his own cousin Saffron, who was surprisingly into horror despite her demeanour. Even more infuriating, when he asked them for more details, they wouldn’t tell him as they “didn’t want to spoil anything.”

             Turning over, he crossed his arms and muttered, “I’m not that young! I’m practically a big kid! My age has TWO digits now, so that must mean I’m allowed to do more stuff!”

             Just then, a small voice from the doorway asked, “What are you sulking about?”

             Looking up, he saw that it was his older sister, Coral, who had just returned from a day swimming and fishing. He slumped back down on the bed muttering, “Nothing.”

             “Nothin’? Doesn’t look like nothin’! You kinda look like Mr. Flatfoot that swims under that arch near the observatory,” she noted.

             Sighing irritably, he sat up with a dead, sad look in his eyes and explained, “I wanna go see the new horror movie sometime soon, but Mom won’t let me!”

             “Ugh, yeah! You know what she’s like! A total killjoy!” she groaned, before climbing onto the bed.

             “You’re getting my covers wet, Fish Face!” CJ complained.

             “Simmer down, Gill Boy!” she retorted before explaining, “now look, I know that I can be a jerk sometimes, but geez, that look on your mug is just pitiable, and…I want to help you.”

             “Huh, that’s a first, considering that you’re a real narcissist,” he replied dryly.

             “Shut up and listen to me! Now look, you wanna see that movie, right? The one that you keep yappin’ on about? Well, most movies only last around three weeks in the picture house, but really SPECIAL movies like YOUR movie last for about FOUR weeks so that the public can get the chance to see it, at least that’s what I heard from Sugarelle!”

             “Really?!” CJ asked with his eyes sparkling with hope, “so I might get to go see it then! But I also heard that most of the time children should be accompanied by adults when seeing horror movies, so how can I get in?”

             Coral was now stuck for words as she couldn’t think of a good solution for him, and could only utter, “I don’t know…”

 One week later:

After much planning and crafting, CJ finally came up with a brilliant scheme: enter the theatre as a ‘short’ adult! He’d selected what he thought was the perfect disguise, some light brown pants, a grey tweed jacket with a hat, and, the most distinguishing feature that would convince people that he was an adult: a moustache.

             When Saffron and his eldest sister Juni heard of this grand plan, they each uttered the same response, “That’s the best you could come up with?”

             “Well…yeah! It’s not like they’re gonna ask me for ID anyways! They never do, that’s what I heard!”, he awkwardly exclaimed, half hoping that he was right.

             “How do you know they don’t?” Saffron asked, shooting him a skeptical look.

             “Be – because Coral told me! Yeah, she – she did!”

             “Yeah, well knowing her, she thinks she knows everything,” Juni responded, “why can’t you just wait until you’re older to watch a horror movie? I’m also pretty sure that they do reruns a few years after the actual release of some movies!”

             “Well, I wanna see it now and show everyone how well I can handle a few jolts and scares in a dark theatre, and I’ll also be seen as cool for once!” he declared, with a smug grin.

             “It’s okay to admit that you’re a ‘fraidy cat, CJ. I can handle some horror but not ALL of it. Besides, you could –” Saffron added before being cut off.

             “Well, I’m pretty sure that I’m more than a little old enough to watch a movie like Psycho, Saffy! Plus, come Monday morning, I’m gonna be pretty much the talk of the school, but I won’t say much as I don’t wanna spoil it for ya!” he replied arrogantly.

             “Not that you’d have anything to say because you’ll likely be covering your eyes during the scary parts of the movie!” Juni retorted.

             “Oh, SHUT UP!” he yelled, “I don’t need to prove to the likes of you that I can be brave, Juni! Anyways, I’m off to the theatre now and I’ll see you two later!”

             With that, he confidently strode off with the bag containing his disguise in his right hand. Saffron and Juni watched him go, with Juni stating disdainfully, “He’s gonna be screaming for Mom like he always does when he has a night terror.”

             “Well, hopefully that nobody recognises him,” Saffron added.

 Later:

CJ just about made it to the theatre. A huge queue trailed in front of the ticket booth as far as the eye could see, much to his dismay. He hadn’t taken the number of people into consideration, so he’d have to try a different way to get in. As he pondered good and hard on how to enter the theatre easily, he suddenly had an idea.

             As the lanky young man let the next couple in to see a movie, CJ ran up to the booth with a panicked look in his eyes and tapped on the glass. The ticket man looked down upon him and asked in a dreary monotone voice, “How can I help you?”

             “I’m so sorry sir! I really REALLY need to use the bathroom and I need to use it NOW! Can I use the one in the theatre?” CJ asked in a rapid manner.

             “Well…normally, I’d say you’d need a ticket to get in…buuuut…I think that’s cruel especially given the circumstances. Go ahead in,” he drawled.

             With that, CJ rushed into the bathroom and stood on the lavatory seat to put on his disguise when he stopped. He suddenly realised that he forgot the most important thing ever in his grand plan: what theatre was the movie showing in?!

             Just then, he noticed a discarded ticket on the floor of the stall and picked it up. Sure enough, it was for the movie Psycho and it was showing in Theatre 7! How convenient! He beamed. As if it was also a coincidence, the number of the theatre definitely showed his luck! As soon as the gentlemen had exited the bathroom, he quietly slipped out and made his way to Theatre 7. He coyly walked in past the usher and twiddled his fake moustache as he went along.

             Soon enough, he found a nice seat at the top of the theatre’s steps, that had a grand view of the screen. He grinned as he thought of how great his grand plan was going so far. He managed to find a way into the theatre without getting paying for a ticket, he got one for free (off a dirty bathroom floor, but still) and he’s now sitting in a swell seat, ready to watch his first proper horror movie!

             The crowd of people pouring in grew larger as each individual spread out to find available seats in the barely lit theatre. A taller gentleman soon approached the row CJ was sitting in, with a large collection of snacks he’d gathered up from the lobby obscuring his face. He was carrying large sodas, a bag of pretzels, some candy and a large bucket of popcorn. CJ licked his lips under the fake moustache as he saw how delicious the food was. He did have money, but he was sure that if he left the theatre just before the film began, they wouldn’t let him in. Apparently, any cinema that was showing Psycho would not allow anyone else in past the time the movie started. CJ irritably sighed and bitterly thought to himself, Guess I’ll starve then!

             The tall man then set the goodies in the seat beside CJ, further obscuring his face from him. As CJ wondered why a man like him would want this much food for himself, the man suddenly poked his head around the bucket of popcorn to reveal that it was none other than HIS OWN FATHER CUPHEAD!

             Cuphead looked at his disguised son with a smile and said, “I heard this is gonna be a killer thriller! Know what I mean?” followed by a gleeful wink.

             CJ was stunned with fright and could only muster up a little nod of his head so as not to appear rude. He sat back in his seat, his mind flooded with panic. He could only think, Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! I’M DEAD MEAT IF HE RECOGNISES ME!! I’LL BE GROUNDED FOR LIFE IF HE --!!!

             Just then, the opening credits flashed on the screen, accompanied by rapid, tense strings with the words having to criss – cross each other to form coherent credits. Everybody braced themselves for what was going to unfold, while CJ was on high alert in case his father was to intercept his disguise.

             As the movie progressed, CJ, much to his dismay, found himself to be extremely bored by this movie. It was nothing but grown – up talk with very little action. Sure, the lady in the film stole a lot of money and took it with her so that she and her boyfriend can live happily ever after, but good lord, was it just coma – inducing. Meanwhile, Cuphead had his eyes glued to the screen, shoving popcorn, pretzels and candy into his mouth and chomping his goodies very loudly.

             The food was so unbearably good that CJ soon heard his stomach growling. Cuphead noticed and whispered, “Hey, old timer! I couldn’t help but notice that you don’t have any concession goods! Wanna share with me?”

             Despite his better judgement, CJ nodded and reached his arm out and received a handful of pretzels. Great, he thought, he’s gonna have to try and make it through the movie without dying of thirst and boredom now.  

             As he munched sparingly on the pretzels, the scene shifted to when the lady and gawky motel owner were having supper in the parlour. It was then that CJ finally began feeling that sense of unease that he’d been waiting for, especially as dark shadows cast over the walls and the owner himself. Finally, some decent tension, he thought.

             Alas, Cuphead had fallen asleep beside him and was snoring like a hippopotamus with asthma. CJ looked at him and softly groaned. His father was always like this after a big meal or a good number of snacks and needless to say, the noise was as ear grating like someone rubbing sandpaper against glass. The young cup tried listening to the dialogue as hard as he could but his father’s snores drowned out whatever noise was coming from the movie.

             Someone else got fed up with Cuphead’s snoring and got the usher up to the row where both cups sat and gently nudged him, jolting him awake. Looking around and stammering, Cuphead looked up at the usher startled and loudly asked, “Did someone die yet?!”

             “No, sir, but someone complained that you’re snoring too loud so that’s why I woke you,” the usher explained.

             Cuphead understood what he said and quietly assured with a smile, “Oh, okay! I’ll keep quiet don’t worry! Thanks for telling me!”

             CJ could feel a laugh welling up but suppressed it. It was truly amusing to see his own father act like a real goofball. Just then, Cuphead turned towards him and whispered, “Hey, old timer! You can have the rest of my snacks okay? Just so that I won’t slip into a food coma again! Sound good?”

             CJ nodded and gladly accepted the food between him and his father. He was pretty satisfied that he got free food and for the first time since his father sat down, he felt like he could relax and enjoy the film properly now.

             The film kept going and reached the infamous shower scene. Everybody, not just little CJ and his father, felt chills going down their spine once they noticed the door behind the shower curtain open followed by a blurry figure approaching closer. Soon enough, the entire theatre erupted into screams once the curtain was pulled back to reveal a seemingly old woman who’s face was obscured in shadows. Then, accompanied by shrill violin strings, everybody jumped and hollered in fright as the poor young woman met her demise. CJ’s eyes were fixed onto the screen in complete horror, while his dad gave out the occasional horrified yelp and gasp. The terrified boy suppressed the urge to scream as he was afraid of being discovered given his young sounding voice.

             Cuphead caught his breath and looked towards CJ and whispered, “JEEZ LOUISE! I wasn’t expecting that! Still, you’re definitely pretty brave sitting through a picture like this!”

             CJ nodded and gave a little thumbs up, still trembling quietly.

             The rest of the movie continued as the characters worked on solving the mystery as to what happened to the young lady with the money. Even with the scenes with a lot of talking, poor CJ was still shaken following the shower scene, and it certainly didn’t help when the private investigator turned up dead or when they found the skeleton in the basement. At long last, once the whole movie was brought to a close, everybody got up and walked home.

             CJ waited for Cuphead to move who was stacking all the disused food buckets, boxes and cups to dispose of them outside. Finally, the older cup got up and made his way down the steps. CJ trailed along after him, only to trip on a step and soon tumbled into Cuphead’s leg, knocking him down like a bowling pin.

             Cuphead looked at the mess around them and uttered, “Aww heck!” before going to clean it up. CJ stood up and realised to his horror that his moustache had fallen off. While Cuphead was picking up an empty soda cup, CJ scanned the steps quickly for his moustache, which thankfully had fallen down two steps ahead of him. He quickly grabbed it and stuck it back on his face before his father could notice.

             Cuphead was still gathering the discarded cardboard rubbish when CJ lent him a hand by carrying some of it to lighten the load for his father. When Cuphead took note of this kind gesture, he responded with, “Gee, thanks, sir! That’s really helpful of you!”

             CJ smile and responded as deeply as he could with a “Mmm – hmm!”

             Cuphead smiled back and headed down the stairs with some of the rubbish and began rambling on about the film as well as how scary it was, even noting, “Oh, man, if my youngest boy was there, poor kid would have nightmares for life! Kid ain’t missing anything!”

             This statement made CJ feel a little guilty, but also somewhat amused. While he did indeed sneak into the theatre without really paying and basically deceived his own father, he was honestly impressed that he was never found out. One could even say that he was even proud of having kept up the charade for this long with Cuphead.

             After discarding the last bit of rubbish, both of them stepped out of the theatre to find that the sun was still bright. Cuphead gave his stiff arms a little stretch before turning to his son and declared, “Well, I better hit the road. It was nice watching the film next to ya, old timer! Take care!”

             CJ gave his father a wave and, again in a deep voice, responded with, “You too, Dad!”

             To his alarm, he realised his error and before he could even move his father whipped his head around and walked over to him, echoing the last parting word in confusion, “Dad?”

             As if it wasn’t already humiliating enough, the moustache dropped off his face and was blown away by a small breeze. CJ watched it blow away before turning to his cross father and asking with a nervous laugh, “That was indeed a killer thriller, huh, Dad..?”

 Epilogue:

             Saffron was sitting on a bench in school eating lunch when CJ collapsed in the seat beside her, with puffy tired eyes heavier than lead. She was gobsmacked at how half - dead her cousin looked and asked, “Whoa, what the heck happened to you?”

             “Psycho happened.”

             “Oof,” she replied, feeling very sorry for him, “well, like I said before, it’s okay to admit you’re a bit of a ‘fraidy cat, cousin. Horror isn’t for everybody.”

             Dejectedly, CJ paused and uttered, “Yeah, you’re right. Still, it’s one thing to be grounded for two months for disobeying my Mom, it’s another when all your other siblings look at you weirdly when they hear how you EXACTLY got found out! Juni laughed at me for a whole hour when Dad explained what happened! Still, at least Coral was a bit supportive, though.”

             “Sorry to hear that, pal,” she empathised, patting his shoulder supportively.

             “It’s fine. I still wish I wasn’t too much of a ‘fraidy cat, mind you,” he sighed.

             Saffron suddenly got an idea and suggested, “Well, maybe when your grounding is over, you can sleepover at my place and I’ll get you into the Twilight Zone. I don’t think it’s scary as Psycho but I think it’s a good start for getting into horror without being too traumatised.”

             CJ thought for a moment and replied smiling, “I’ll consider it. Thanks!”  

             “No problem!”

 The End

#my fanfic #cuphead dont deal with the devil #humour #horror movie reference #angelcup fanchild #chalicemug fanchild #i had a lot of fun writing this! XD

[katehuntington]

Title: All I Want - part two Fandom: Supernatural Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Pairing: Dean x Reader Series summary: Sam and Dean come across an object that could be the solution to Michael. The Pearl of Baozhu grants the beholder’s deepest desire. Once Dean focuses on his wish, the archangel remains caged in his mind however. Instead his former girlfriend Y/N shows up, who was killed in 2010 in Detroit, by no other than Lucifer himself. Summary part two: After another horrific nightmare, Dean joins his brother in search for an answer to take down Michael. They strike gold when they find the Baozhu, but Dean’s wish doesn’t ban the Archangel from his mind. Instead he reunites with the one person he never thought he’d see again. Warnings part two: NSFW, 18+ only. Spoilers season 14 episode 13. Angst, fluff-ish. Nightmares, descriptions of flashbacks, mentions of major character death, anxiety, grieving over lost loved one, swearing, alcohol consumption. All the tears. Word Count: 4019 words Author’s note: Part two of a multi part miniseries, based on the 300th episode “Lebanon”. Prepare for major angst, heartwarming reunions and heartbreaking goodbyes. Beta’d by the lovely @kittenofdoomage​ and @coffee-obsessed-writer​, thank you so much for your feedback!

All I Want Masterlist

February 7th, 2019 Lebanon, Kansas

    A rigid gasp for air ends Dean’s tormenting dream. He bolts up in bed, sheets and yesterday’s clothes clinging to the cold sweat that covers every square inch of his skin. His heart is racing as if he just ran up ten flights of stairs, shivers wrecking his body. Eyes wide open he stares at the opposite wall, trying to calm himself by focusing on his breathing. It’s not real, Dean. Not yet. Not now.

    The splitting headache that has haunted him ever since he locked Michael in that coolcell far in the back of his mind, pushes itself to the front, pounding behind his eyes in the rhythm of the archangel’s fists on the door. The hunter breathes in deeply and exhales, letting the air flow from his lips. He’s not in the box, he’s not drowning like he was a second ago, and although he knows it is written in Billie’s book that this will be how he will meet his end, he has to hold on to the present. Dean sighs and closes his eyes. I’m in control.

    A knock on furnished wood draws his gaze towards his bedroom door, finding the tall silhouet of his brother, carefully pushing it open. Faint yellow light from the hallway reaches into room number eleven, illuminating only one side of Sam’s face, but it’s enough for Dean to make out the worried expression in his features.    “Did I wake you?” Sam asks hesitantly.     But the oldest of the Winchester brothers shakes his head, rubs his eyes and glances aside at his alarm clock. Not even 3 ‘o clock, so that gives him… two and a half hours of sleep? If you can call back to back nightmares sleep, anyway. Then Dean notices the scratches on the wall next to his bed, traces of crimson in the concrete. When he checks his right hand, he finds his fingertips bloody, his nails scraped away to the flesh.

    The hunter shifts his gaze back to Sam, who honestly doesn’t look like his night was any better.     “What are you doing up?”, he wonders.     “Cataloging Bart Kemp’s stuff. Thought I might find something that could help us out. He owned a ton of occult objects,” Sam asserts.     “Need a hand?” Dean shifts, flopping his legs over the side.     Sam frowns at that. Dean who wants to catalog hundreds of ancient items? That’s a new one.     “Sure you don’t wanna get some rest?” Sam returns doubtfully, watching how his brother straps on his boots.     “Nah, I’m good. Can’t sleep anyway.” He gets up and runs his fingers through his hair, smoothening it out.

    Avoiding his little brother’s concern, he pushes himself past Sam in the doorway, awkward unspoken words hovering between then. He can feel the tall hunter’s eyes, fixed to unravel what Dean is desperately trying to hide. Endless nights of terror as Michael wreaks havoc in his mind. Reliving the worst moments of his life and experiencing the new definition of hell that is yet to come. Trapped in the Ma’lak Box, screaming for help, for his brother, for Y/N, as he tries to crawl his way out while the water seeps in.

    As Dean enters the library with Sam on his tail, he grabs yesterday’s half a bottle of Jack Daniels from the table, unscrews the cap and takes a swig. His eyes roam over the collection of curse boxes, books and scattered notes, again ignoring the look his brother is throwing him. He has never shied away from liquor, but these days he fills more whiskey tumblers than coffee mugs. Self-medicating, he keeps telling himself. Anything to shut the tremors down.     “So, what we got?” he wonders, trying to steer the attention away.     “Dean...”     “Don’t.”

    With an agitated sigh the oldest of the two sits down, dismissing his brother’s attempt to start the conversation that he’s been trying to avoid for weeks. But for a short second, his mask wears thin. It confirms the worries that keep Sam up at night as well. Suddenly his brother seems older than forty, the age that the hunter miraculously reached last month. He’s much older when you count the decades he spent in Hell. Add the losses he suffered, the pain he’s been through, sleepless nights and tainted dreams; he’s an old soul, tired and worn. Keeping the Archangel on lock down is becoming more difficult with each day. Especially now that Michael is trying to break him by using the woman Dean lost his heart to.     “I heard you,” Sam admits. “I’m pretty sure the entire bunker did.”     Dean rolls his eyes slightly before looking away, opening his mouth to fire a second warning. But then Sam drops the bomb.     “I heard you call out for Y/N, too.”

    Y/N. The name of the woman Dean loved more than he ever thought he would be capable of, especially after all the horror he bared witness to. The name that’s never mentioned, not because she’s not worth to remember, but because even after all those years, he’s still afraid that touching that subject will wreck him the same way her death did.

    His heart starts to physically hurt as pressure on his chest builds. Struggling to hide the discomfort from showing, Dean has another swig of whiskey. He can’t prevent his jaw from clenching as he swallows down the alcohol, allowing the strong after burn to distract him. He could blow up on Sam, remind him of the fact that last time when he brought her up, Dean threatened to break his little brother’s nose if he ever would speak of her again. But Dean doesn’t counter. He’s too tired to fight Sammy, too.     “What do you want me to say, Sam?”     Sam spreads out his arms and lets them fall against his side, despondency in his stance.     “Anything!” he exclaims, his voice a little higher and a little louder than he anticipated. “Dean, I know nightmares come with the job, but this isn’t normal. Not even for us.”

    “Of course it’s not normal, Sam! Having a fucking Archangel trapped in my head ain’t a typical day at the office either! Who do you think is causing these dreams, huh?” Dean snaps, looking Sam in the eye for the first time that night. Then he takes a breath and collects himself. Stop being an ass, Dean. Sammy’s just worried.     “Michael is pulling out all the stops to crush me before we pin him down. Keeping me quiet by giving me what I wanted didn’t work, so now he’s doing the opposite,” he continues, much calmer now. “During the day I can handle him, but at night…”

    Mixed feelings cause the hunter to pause. He doesn’t want to burden his little brother with the weight that comes with the knowledge. He’s troubled enough as it is, frantically trying to find another way to expel Michael and lock him away where he can’t hurt anyone else. Another option, a scenario that doesn’t include his big brother on the bottom of the ocean in the Malak’ Box. But God, Dean needs an outlet.     “So this is his new approach? He shows you your darkest days?” Sam assumes, frowning empathetically.     Dean averts his eyes back to the bottle, his fingers around the glass body.     “On the big screen,” he confesses. “I’m not just watching, though.”     “What you mean?”     The younger Winchester has taken a seat, leaning his elbows on the rosewood surface as he leans over the table.     “I’m not a witness,” Dean begins to explain. “Sometimes I’m under water, like I’m in the Box already. Other times I experience memories I wish I could forget, exactly the way it went down. It… It feels real. I’m there, in the moment, but I can’t stop it. I can’t change what I did or didn’t do.”

    Sam runs his hand through his dark hair, feeling terrible that his big brother is forced to endure this every time he closes his eyes. His mind floats back to the moment earlier tonight, when Dean’s screams reached his hearing. His own name echoed through the hallways, but the chilling cry when he called out for her, will stay with him for a much longer time.     “Dean, Y/N’s death was not your fault,” Sam tries to assure him.     But Dean disagrees, shaking his head as he leans back in his seat. “I was supposed to protect her. She shouldn’t have been there with me, Sam.”     “She was our back up.”     “Yeah, and it got her killed.”

    Dean swallows down another slug of Jack Daniels and sniffs when he lowers the bottle, having downed almost a quarter of it’s content already. He bites his bottom lip hard, tempted to draw blood as he thinks about that day in Detroit. He remembers the argument they had before entering the apartment building where Lucifer held up. She refused to let the brothers go in by themselves, claiming that they needed a third man in case the plan went south and there was no one to finalize the mission. She didn’t just wanted to be there for them, she wanted to be there for him. He was about to lose his little brother forever, and she wanted to catch him before he fell to his knees. Dean allowed it reluctantly, and minutes later her skull was crushed against the concrete, bringing her short but meaningful life to a screeching halt.

    He was supposed to have her back that night. She was his girl. His girl he failed to save. And it’s not just Y/N who haunts him, because the son of God was right. His father, the Harvelles, Ash, Bobby, Pamela, Charlie, Kevin… The list goes on. All perished either because they gave their life for the Winchesters, or because they got caught in the crossfire. That’s on him. Every loved one he ever lost lost, they are all casualties he blames himself for. He doesn’t need an Archangel to remind him of his wrongs.

    Dean rises to his feet and pushes his chair back, its legs drawing such a loud screech from the smooth furnished floor, that Sam startles. Both were lost in thought for a moment, until the oldest of the two snaps out of it and decides that it’s time to get to work.     “Let’s not dwell on the fact that Michael is making my time in Hell look like Disney World. As long as I’m still sane, I much rather spend my night finding a way to end him.” He frowns at his little brother, his mask back on. “What do we got?”         The younger Winchester gathers his thoughts and shifts some notes aside.     “Well, uh - amongst all this there are a few artifacts that could be interesting. One of them is called the Pearl of Baozhu. It’s one of the eight ancient Chinese treasures.”     “What does it do?” Dean wonders.     “It grants wishes. Technically it’s supposed to give you ‘what your truly heart desires’.”     Hopeful Sam looks up to the hunter at the head of the table, who shrugs and seems to consider it.     “That would be Michael out of my head,” he concludes.     “Exactly.”     Dean takes a look around at the stack of boxes.     “So you’re telling me that the answer to our problems is sittin’ somewhere in this pile of shit?”     “Better start digging,” Sam suggests, pushing a box in his direction.

    Serenity lingers in the bunker in the early hours of a new day. The table lamps spread their light over the surface underneath, their rays warm and gentle for tired eyes. Dean is surrounded by several boxes and books, going through a journal while leaning back in his chair and with his ankles crossed, somewhat more relaxed now that he contributes to something useful. He’s nursing his whiskey, kept busy in search for a clue in order to find the Pearl. It’s a few minutes past five in the morning, when Sam opens his third box of the night and reveals a small bag, the silk fabric tied together with a yellow cord. Curiously Sam takes it out and loosens the tie, unfolding a little red cushion, on which a perfect round shape rests.     “Dean.”         “Hm?”     His brother doesn’t look up immediately, biting the end of pen as he scans through Bart Kemp’s notes.     “I think this is it,” Sam states, looking down at the tiny object that could be the solution to everything.      Now he does captures Dean’s attention, his green eyes darting up from sloppy handwriting to the little white ball.     “That’s the Pearl?” he checks, for some reason expecting something so powerful to be bigger.         Sam nods, hope pulling at the corner of his mouth. Intrigued Dean rises to his feet and circles the table, his eyes fixed on the powerful artifact.     “Let’s do it.”     “Are you sure you don’t want to call Mom, or wait for Cas?”, his brother suggests, somewhat anxiously.     “No,” Dean dismisses, taking the unfolded red cushion in both hands gingerly.  ‘If this mojo works like you say; great. If not; why get their hopes up?”

    Sam holds his brother’s gaze for a moment, wondering if that’s all there is to Dean’s eagerness, or that the real reason why he’s jumping the gun, is his desperation for expelling the Archangel from the Alcatraz that is his mind. Deciding that this is not the time to test that theory, he agrees.     “Okay, so…” Dean reaches for the Baozhu, not sure if he can touch it without consequence. “What do I do?”     “I don’t know.” The younger brother shrugs hesitantly. “I… I guess you hold the pearl and concentrates on what your heart desires?”     “Michael out of my head.”      The man holding the Pearl imprints the sentence into his brain, while Sam shoots his sibling a short glare, as if just stated the obvious.     “Got it,” Dean reassures, just a little too quickly.

    To Sammy it might seem cut and dry, but the man who is about to make a wish isn’t so sure. He could think of a list of things he would want differently. What would the world look like if the Yellow Eyed Demon hadn’t come after his family? If all evil would disappear from the face of the earth, just like that? Would Mom have raised her sons to have a normal childhood? Would his father still be around? Would Cas have descended from Heaven? Would Dean’s path crossed Y/N’s? Would she be alive?

    Dean regains his focus, picks up the little white ball from the cushion and holds it between his thumb and his index finger. Michael out of my head. That’s all he needs to keep in mind. Right now, that is all he wants. Before he rolls the Baozhu into the palm of his hand, the brothers exchange one last look, but then Dean encloses his fingers around the tiny treasure with such great power, and shuts his eyes. With furrowed brow Dean concentrates.

    It only takes a few seconds before an eerie electric static reaches his hearing, triggering him to look up. The wall lamps in the library flicker violently, until the power shortage causes the back up generators to start running. All secondary equipment is switched off and the emergency lights come on, draping the Winchesters in a red gleam. Sam observes his surroundings allerted, his eyes adjusting to the sudden darkness. Cautiously the men try to pick up on even the slightest movement or sound, their senses heightened, driven by instinct.

    Then they hear footsteps. Sam pulls his gun from behind his waistband in a split second, aiming at the central War room. His brother isn’t as quick on the draw, though, a hint of familiarity in the way the boots sound on the marble floors slowing him down.     “Dean? Sam?”

    Right there and then, Dean’s heart stops. He knows that voice, he’d recognize it anywhere. Soft and clear, just like he remembers, just like he dreamed. Shell shocked he stares down at the other room, where a silhouette appears from around the corner. Now he inhales sharply, wide eyes fixed on the figure approaching. No way… It can’t be.

    The power switches back on, the ominous red emergency rays replaced with warm bright light. It reveals Dean’s careful suspicion and it knocks the air out of his lungs. He must be dreaming again. That, or he’s having a hallucination. It wouldn’t be far fetched, sleep deprivation and alcohol consumption considered. But when he steals a glance at Sam, he sees the same shocked expression while his brother slowly lowers his gun.     “Y/N?” he stammers.

    She walks up the steps and halts under the arched entrance to the library, a little out of breath after her run down the hallways of this immense place. She glances from one Winchester brother to the other, her wild eyes leaving Dean for a second as she looks around at the impressive library. She doesn’t recognize the place, but despite the brick walls and lack of windows, it feels welcoming and safe. Wait, is that a telescope?     “What in the Hell? Where the fuck are we?” she wonders, returning her gaze to Sam. “And what happened to you guys? You both look like you aged a decade overnight.”

    Sam lets the air flow from his lips with a short huff, not sure if she’s trying to be funny or doesn’t have a clue what is going on. It’s so unmistakably her, though. The wit, the way she lights the room, a carelessness in her stroll as she enters the library. This is, without a shadow of a doubt, his friend, the closest he ever had to a sister. He can’t take his eyes off her, and he’s not the only one. It doesn’t go unnoticed, because Y/N bounces her focus between the boys, frowning at the evident shock on their faces.

    “W- why are you looking at me like that?” Uncomfortably she rubs her arm, her gaze now fixed on Dean.

    Unable to answer, he dumbfoundedly stares, his mouth agape. A mix of disbelief and astonishment has the hunter frozen on the spot, something that rarely ever happens to him. In his nightmares the Ma’lek Box would slowly fill up, until he drowned. In reality it’s his emotions that overflow the walls of his mind, the waterline rising until it reaches his eyes. Mystic green shimmers, his vision fogging, but he still sees her. He still sees the woman he lost, yet never stopped loving.

    Finally he’s able to move, stepping forward tentatively. With each step, Dean gets a little braver and closes the gap between them. When she’s at arm’s length, he stops, frantic eyes darting to take in every feature he never wants to forget. Afraid to burst the bubble, he slowly lifts his hand to her face. What if he touches her and she turns out to be nothing more than a mirage? An apparition of his hopes and dreams, crumbling to dust once he gets too close? Michael has played these kind of mind games before and it wrecked the broken hunter every time his fairytale world fell apart. But like he has done all those times, he reaches for her anyway, because what if this time, it is real?

    His fingertips brush her soft skin, sending a shiver down her spine. Overcome by both love and fear that speak from his watering eyes, she returns a worried gaze. Not daring to speak, she keeps looking at Dean as he cups her face, brushing a messy strand away with his thumb. It’s clear as day that the connection moves the person who has such an important part in her life.

    Feeling her under his touch, being able to connect with her when he thought he would never be able to again, it’s too much. He swallows down the lump that creeps up his throat, tears threatening to breach the walls. She’s here. Fuck, she’s really here.

    Dean takes a final step towards the woman of his dreams while he pulls her in and, without wasting another second, he does what he has been longing for ever since her shattering death. He presses his lips to hers, kissing her with everything he has. For a short second he feels her tense against him, but then she slips her hands around his forearms and she answers him, melting into the kiss. The man who regained what he had lost can’t help the tremble in his breath, can’t stop the teardrops from rolling down his cheek. He doesn’t care about showing vulnerability, because finally… finally he got her back.

    They part and she opens her beautiful eyes, confounded by his actions. A small yet genuine smile forms, breaking the shimmering paths of sorrow that came down his cheeks. Then the hunter pulls her in a tight hug, burying his face in her hair. Her heart beats against his chest rapidly and he can smell the shampoo she always used, feel the warmth she’s radiating. Memories roll into shore and the tough hunter holds back a sob. Noticing his distress, Y/N folds her arms around his back, giving him a squeeze that calms him down like only she could. God, does this feel good. She came back to him. It’s then and there that me makes himself a promise. I’m never gonna let this go.

    “Dean, you’re scaring me,” Y/N whimpers after a while.     The older Winchester brother snaps out of it and loosens his grip on her, distancing himself from her slightly, now that he realizes he lost track of time for a moment. He struggles to man up and shoots her another reassuring smile, not wanting to upset her.     “I’m sorry,” he utters, his voice raw and on the verge of breaking. “It’s just… It’s really good to see you after all this time.”     Puzzled she looks at him, not sure what he means by that.     “What are you talking about? I saw you last night.”

    Dean narrows his eyes at her in confusion. She saw him last night? How is that even possible? She’s been gone for nine years!     “What day is it?”     It’s Sam who asks, drawing both their attention. Y/N looks aside, then averts her eyes as she thinks. Monday, or is it Tuesday? As a hunter, there is no routine. Nights last long and days fly by, blending together endlessly. She forgets what part of the week it is all the time, nothing new there. Home Depot was closed when she went out to pick up a few errands yesterday; that makes it Sunday. Which makes today...     “Monday,” she decides.     Sam motions her to continue.     “Monday, October 20th,” she adds. “2008.”

    Stunned both boys look at her, the youngest of the brothers letting out a sigh now that his suspicion has been confirmed.     “Y/N, it’s 2019,” Dean informs, his voice soft to cushion the blow.     She cocks her head back at him, staring into his green eyes. Then she chuckles, shaking her head.     She scoffs. “No, c’mon, guys. That’s… that’s insane.”     But when both men keep a straight face that doesn’t in the slightest suggest that this is a joke, the grin on her lips fades. Unable to grasp what is happening, she takes a step back.

    “How?” She questions firmly after a long silence, an uneasiness oozing through her veins.     “I think we - uh…” Sam stammers, not sure if he believes it himself. “I think we summoned you.”     Large eyes bore into him, then shift back to Dean, who watches empathetically how she struggles to process the information. Her gaze drifts off to nothing in particular, going over their words. This isn’t happening. This is fucking insane. Last week they wrapped up a hunt in Pennsylvania during Oktoberfest that involved a shapeshifter with a fetish for old school monster movies. That was enough crazy for one week, if you ask her. And now they are telling her that she was fast forwarded eleven years in time?     “You boys better tell me what the fuck is going on,” she demands. “Right now.”

Holy shit! That was a ride, wasn’t it? Stay tuned for part 3, I hope to finish it soon. Meanwhile, don’t hesitate to let me know what you think so far!

Read part three here

‘All I Want’ tags: 

@awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @justkending @the-is13 @wildsageleon

#Dean x Reader #Dean x Y/N #Dean Winchester x Reader #Dean Winchester x Y/N #Supernatural reader insert #SPN reader insert #Dean Winchester series #Supernatural series #Dean Winchester fanfiction #Dean fanfiction #Dean Winchester fanfic #Dean fanfic #SPN fanfiction #SPN fanfic #Dean series #SPN angst #Dean angst #Dean Winchester angst #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Supernatural #SPN #spn 14x13 #Lebanon #All I Want #Kate Huntington

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence, chapter 16

Summary:  After Xehanort's death, Demyx finds himself unexpectedly human in Radiant Garden. With nothing but fragments of his past and a cryptic statement from Xemnas, he's left to figure out who he is. When Ienzo asks for his help with a project, the two find common ground, but the trauma and secrets in both of their pasts could tear it apart. Zemyx (Demyx/Ienzo), post-KH3 canon compliant

Read it on FF.net/ on AO3

----

Excerpt of an audio recording from device 5.875.32.852 (admin is registered as EVEN [surname REDACTED]. Transcription programs recognize the speaking voice of the admin as well as one other distinct voice. Transcription errors due to colloquialisms, slang, accent, muffled speech, etc. are acknowledged and will be used in further evolutions of this program.

Recording commences at 16:03.

--I hope you do not mind that I am recording this. I assure you any we can redact any exceedingly personal information. This is for my edification only. I would never dream of letting it fall into unsavory hands.

--Uh. Sure.

--Can you state your name and age in its entirety?

--Yeah. I’m [birth name and surname REDACTED]. I still go by Demyx. I’m twenty-two.

--That’s your name? That’s not what I thought.

--Yeah, well. It seems like I’m full of surprises. I don’t care who knows it, but it doesn’t seem to fit right anymore. You know?

--I suppose. So. Can you tell me what you remember, as far back as you can, as comfortably as you can?

--I’ll try.

----

These memories don’t feel like mine.

It’s weird. I guess it’s more like I’m reading a book, or watching a movie.

“It” started, if by it you mean all this Keyblade crap, when I was five. I was my parents’ only kid. We were broke. Like, squatting and going to soup kitchens broke. There were the early days, when the Foretellers--the five chosen ones or whatever--were just building their unions and preaching about their ideas in the plaza. I’m honestly not sure if they were the first wielders, but they were definitely the ones that made it a thing, That promised this as the way to seek the light.

Heartless started coming--from the future, or so they said in the square. We needed a way to defend ourselves. So they started testing people for worthiness. Kids were always easier. Less corrupt. More full of light.

More manipulable.

They said they would take the kids from more troubled circumstances, and give them what they needed to survive. In my parents’ eyes, food and a place to live. The luckier ones could stay at home. So that caused a big influx of poor people sending their kids in to be tested and trained. While some of the better off ones saw it as a sign of honor, everyone else wanted to keep their kids safe. Even the ones with Keyblades were dying.

My parents figured Heartless were better than me starving to death. So they sent me, by myself, for the test.

The older ones could pick their unions, but the real little ones like me they chose a more “organic” approach. They take you inside, and there the Foretellers are with a little table of five toys. Apparently picking one shows some intrinsic quality they’re looking for, or whatever. I got chosen to be in Ursus. And just like that, my mom and dad hugged me goodbye and left me there.

It was hard. Physically, mentally. I missed my parents. The training was grueling, and it hurt. But whenever I would cry or get upset either Master Aced or one of the older kids would tell me to be quiet. Because I was lucky. And I had a chance to be something.

But you see, Even, it doesn’t matter how lucky I was. I was still getting razzed by Heartless, getting thrown in and out of time to these worlds, getting reprimanded for bunging off quests or not getting enough lux. I got kicked out of a few parties for that. Making friends wasn’t so easy when I got a reputation for being a crybaby and a coward, even though I was six or seven.

I still tried to see my parents when I got a chance. They moved around a lot. Dad tried to get steady work a few times, but I think he had some kind of mental illness or something, and he could never be on time, or do what he was told, or get out of bed, so they lost their apartments a lot. Mom was a street musician, and she took in students sometimes, but it wasn’t enough money.

She taught me, too.

Compared to Keyblade stuff, music was so easy. I was so good at it. Knowing I wasn’t terrible at everything gave me strength to go on. I had a way to take all the bad feelings, all the nightmares, and make something beautiful out of it.

I tried to quit the union.

You wouldn’t believe the telling off Master Aced gave me. “Why was I ashamed of my heritage”. “Why wasn’t I doing my part.” “What did I think I would become otherwise, I came from the gutter.” It was devastating. Without the Keyblade, they said, I was worthless. I didn’t want to believe that was true.

As the years passed, and this all kept happening, I tried to study music on the side. That’s when I started keeping the diary. I wrote these weird avant-garde compositions, but that wasn’t enough to salve the pain. So I wrote how I felt, and if anybody found it, I’d just say it was nonsense. But nobody did, though. During that time the tensions between the unions started to grow, mostly over who was getting the most light. Kids were fighting in the streets. Killing each other’s Chirithys--that’s how I lost mine. Even the most legendary parties fell apart. People were still dying.

One of these days, when I was almost seventeen, I was going back to the dorms after another quest. Master Ava--Vulpes’s leader--stopped me. She said she’d heard about me, and I braced myself for another lecture like the ones Aced liked to give. But it was my focus on the bigger picture of my life she liked, she said. She wanted me to join a special union she was building.

The Dandelions.

The reason she built this union was because she feared there would soon be war between the others, and that war would escalate to apocalyptic proportions. Remember, we’d all been training for years at that point, we all had way overpowered magic--even me. But because we had no foresight as to anything other than collecting lux, nobody could see the consequences of fighting.

She was going to take this special union, and she was going to teach us how to escape this world altogether, just to make sure somebody survived.

I know you’re probably dying to know how we did it, but I honestly can’t remember. It was some kind of spell, for sure. I know that each of us cast it, and we were all supposed to go together. But it’s one of those things too slippery and powerful to hold onto for long. Not to mention, this travel was supposed to wipe our memories of the trauma and give us a fresh start. So she said.

The war started earlier than expected. The only reason I went to the battle was to find the other Dandelions so we could leave. But I’m not sure if I missed a memo or something. They were gone. Then again, there were so many bodies that had been just so completely fucking destroyed that they could have been some of these people.

…

…

…

[Audio muffled or indiscernible; external knowledge of social cues suggests emotional distress.]

People were just fucking killing each other. They… they tried to kill me, too. I remember Keyblades hitting my armor and I panicked. And I guess instinctively I cast the spell and got out. Got somewhere, or I guess some when is the better word. I ended up in the same place, just later, surrounded by all these rusting Keyblades, my memories completely cleaved and running through my fingers like sand. I remember that, feeling it all drain away like a dream.

That’s when Xemnas found me. When things started to hurt. The shock and the armor made it hard to tell, but someone had stabbed me clean through the chest.

He was nice to me, too. He said he’d been waiting for me and that I was going to be okay. He could give me purpose. My wounds would heal.

I died, and Demyx was born. Memory-free.

You know the rest.

End recording, duration--25:17.

----

“Goodness gracious. ” Like a child listening to their favorite story, he’d been leaning forward attentively. He’d even started recording it on his gummiphone, which Demyx initially felt was a violation of his privacy. But considering how close-lipped Vexen had always been about his experiments, he knew, if anything, his words would be safe in Even’s hands. “This is a window into our history.”

“Yours, maybe.”

“You simply must tell me more about these Foretellers. How is this organization structured? What was their training regimen like? Who was their leader--did they have a leader?”

“It's a lot to talk about." His throat was dry from talking for so long.

Even exhaled. He paused the recording. “I suppose you’re right. Of course you must be very tired. It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I would say so.”

A beat of silence.

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” Even said. “I realize… it is not easy. Especially given our past relationship.”

“Like you said. Forgiveness.”

He nodded once, curtly. “Would you like something to help you sleep?”

“I think I’ll be okay. But thanks.”

“Well. Don’t get too used to it.”

Demyx looked at him. He didn’t know how else to be kind, Demyx realized. It must take immense effort. “Wake me up if anything changes with Ienzo,” he said. “Please.”

“You can be sure of it.”

----

The next several days, he felt utterly hollow. Demyx slept a lot. This was a sort of mental exhaustion. He was afraid to stray too far away from Ienzo’s side, but his condition remained unchanged. Guilt clung to him. He wasn’t really sure what to do with himself. He cleaned his room, which took all of ten minutes considering his lack of possessions. Did laundry. Found a couple books to read which weren’t half bad. It was a toxic combination of boredom and stagnation. At the end of the first week of this, Dilan asked him to come play cards.

“I figure you could use a bit of a diversion,” he said. He offered a smile.

“I guess I’m being pretty pathetic, huh,” Demyx said. He forced a laugh.

“Given the circumstances? No. But wallowing must be horrifically boring.”

Dilan’s quarters were even smaller than Even’s. He and Aeleus shared a sitting room and kitchenette. A faint smell of garlic lingered in the room, along with something like eucalyptus. He had a small herb garden, each one meticulously cared for. Near this was a pile of puzzle boxes.

Dilan took out a pack of cards. Demyx sat gingerly on the couch. It was less stern than the other furniture, a bit more comfortable, a soft velor that felt good to touch. He was becoming increasingly reliant on the tactile to stay grounded. He didn’t know if this was one of his myriad issues, or an effect of being overwhelmed.

Dilan crossed to a small glass cabinet. “Would you like a drink?”

“God. Yes.”

He poured them each a few fingers of whiskey into small crystal glasses. It burned when Demyx sipped it, but he liked it. “What shall we play? It’s a shame we’ve no third. I’d rather have liked to play Blackjack.”

“It’s not like I have anything to bet.”

“Too, too true.”

They settled on Hearts. Demyx didn’t know what to say to Dilan. After winning the first game, Dilan got them another drink.

“I’m not sure how I feel about your newfound reticence,” Dilan said. “It’s so odd, to see how humanity has changed you youth.”

“How so?”

“You were hardly ever so reserved. Ienzo was never so friendly. You should have heard him, chattering away to Sora. ...I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t bother me. To hear his name. Either of them, I mean.” He felt only a shadow of the ping of anxiety he got when thinking about Sora. Of course, knowing what he knew now, it made sense that Sora’d had to strike him down. Psychically, there were bigger fish to fry.

“You’ve got a focus to you. An intensity. It’s like you’re more present.”

“I don’t feel very present.”

“Well. We’ve all received some shocks recently.”

The alcohol was making him warm and a little dizzy. Demyx wasn’t sure whether or not he liked the sensation. He slipped off his shoes and pulled his feet up under him. “Why did you become an apprentice?”

Dilan thought for a moment, shuffled his cards, and then drank down the remainder of his whiskey in one swallow. “Why indeed,” he muttered. “I was only a boy at the time, a bit younger than yourself. I needed something to do with my life. I’d always liked creating things. Building things. Ansem had passed some initiatives to make Radiant Garden a haven for the sciences. I applied to study engineering under him, and was accepted.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” He chuckled. “Why did you choose to become a Keyblade wielder?”

“I didn’t,” Demyx said. “It chose me. I was poor. Being a wielder was pretty much the only way to survive.”

“I abhor such economies,” Dilan said sourly. “I cannot understand how some leaders will let their charges suffer for basic human rights.”

“I can’t really have a realized perspective of it. I was still a kid when I left.”

“What will you do now?”

“What will I… do?” Demyx repeated numbly. “Frankly, I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

“You and I both.”

He continued to pet the velor. He was feeling dizzier still, and heavy. “I want to be with Ienzo,” he said. “And I want to make friends. Real ones. But I don’t know where I’d fit.”

“What’s that old adage? “Be yourself?””

“Hasn’t exactly worked in the past.”

“It is a theory of mine that becoming a Nobody worsens one’s flaws and insecurities.” Dilan poured them another drink. “Our personalities devolved and repelled. Fed by darkness. Take your time. Be honest. That’s all.”

Demyx picked up the crystal cup and swirled the amber liquid around a little. “I guess.”

“What about that guitar of yours?”

“Sitar?”

“Yes. That.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “But I’ll find out.”

---

The next day, it sleeted. The echo of the splotches of snow piling up outside was audible within the confines of the castle. Demyx went to the library, armed with a cup of coffee. He lit a fire in the hearth. Once it was large enough to tend to itself, he sat down cross legged in front of it.

For some reason he was nervous. This was akin to stage fright. He’d much rather be worthy of Arpeggio than the stupid Keyblade.

Demyx held out his hands and pulled from within. The Keyblade appeared. He sighed. “I don’t want you,” he muttered. Let it disappear. He remembered the way the sitar had felt, the perfect weight of it, the smooth varnished wood.

Keyblade again. Demyx had to resist the urge to just toss the damn thing. He stared down at it. Traced the smooth shaft, twisted the links of the chain.

“Please,” he said to it. “I don’t want to fight. I just want--”

Not to be an idiot talking to an inanimate object?

Vanishing. Reappearing. It didn’t matter how long he thought about his Nobody memories, of all the music he’d ever made with Arpeggio. Of the fights or occasionally lack thereof.

“Are you mad at me?” Demyx asked out loud. “I didn’t ask for this to all happen.”

Hadn’t he?

Oh, we do too have hearts. Don’t be mad.

“Shut up,” he hissed at himself.

The fire popped as a log settled, startling him.

“Is it because I’m not him anymore?” he continued. “I’m still the sa-- no. I’m not.”

Demyx lay back on the plush carpet.

Remembering death was not easy. Doubly hard now that he knew it wasn’t the first time he’d been slain with Keyblades. Some of them were sharp, most blunt. You’d crush your ribs before you drew blood. Which was what happened. He rested his palm on the spot were the scars were.

Sora, Donald, Goofy. So much rage. Realization that this was a murder-suicide. He was able to pin Sora twice before the pain was too much. Before fading. Before waking up. Before Braig, with a soft smile, and a boy with silver hair, and a hot stab to the chest. What would have happened, really, if he hadn’t been turned into a vessel? What would he have done? Run away? Spent his life friendless, unloved and alone?

Without Ienzo?

He needed connections. Without them he could never hope to be whole--at least, figuratively. He had to do better. To be better. But how? Fancy displays of heroism were functionally worthless if there was no real intent behind them.

Demyx stood. Despite it all, he sort of had an idea.

----

The winter coat he had was warm enough, but it was not quite waterproof, and by the time he’d waded through the slop he was damp and chilly. When he reached the door of the committee’s headquarters, though, a knot of anxiety overrode his physical discomfort. Demyx stood for several moments at the door as wet snow piled on his hat, unsure of what to say. Several times he reached up to knock and withdrew his hand. He had barely placed his palm on the doorknob before it opened of its own accord.

“‘Could’ve finished War and Peace in the time it took you to make up your mind,” a middle-aged blond man said gruffly. “Come on in, kid.” He was smoking a cigarette, and its smell mixed with the ambient woodsmoke. “Don’t think we’ve formally met. I’m Cid.” He offered his hand. “Saw you unconscious, but I don’t think you remember that.”

“Not--exactly--” Demyx shook his hand.

“Let me take your jacket before you get snow everywhere.” He took the wet garments and hung them on a coat rack.

“It’s warm in here,” Demyx said, half in wonder. He was so used to the drafty castle that he’d forgotten what adequate heating felt like.

Cid raised an eyebrow. “‘Course it is.”

“It’s, um, the castle. Heating’s not very good.”

“I imagine it wouldn’t be.”

A beat passed. Demyx felt his anxiety rising and floundered for things to say.

“I’m guessing you’re here for Aerith?” Cid asked. He stubbed out the cigarette in an ashtray.

“Well. Sort of. I want to help.”

“With what,” he said blankly.

“Anything. I mean I--” Demyx could feel himself turning red.

“In the middle of winter?”

He bit his lip and looked down.

Cid chuckled. “I’m messing with you, kid. We’re always happy to have an extra pair of hands. Any of ya’ll got a sense of humor over there?”

“Let’s just say it’s been a tough week,” Demyx said.

“I’ll say. Weather’s been driving us mad. I finally kicked out Yuffie and Leon to get some peace and quiet.”

“...Er. Sorry about that.”

He shrugged. “I’m sure one or both of them will be back soon. They know a bit more about the operations stuff than I do. Why don’t you have a seat?”

Demyx perched in one of the folding chairs. Cid sat back down at a computer and began absently writing code. He wondered if he should say something. Anything. Ask questions. He kept his hands knotted in his lap.

A door he hadn’t noticed previously opened, and out came Aerith, drying her hands on a towel. “Demyx? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

“Fine--well, enough. I’m here to help.”

She crossed over a plant on the table and cut off a few of its leaves. “Can’t do a whole lot in the winter other than plan, unfortunately.”

“What are you doing with those?”

“Making medicine.” She nodded her head towards the other room. “Want to see?”

He followed her. It was a small, narrow room, with a cot up against one wall. The other wall was lined with cabinets and some counter space. A few different types of dried leaves and blooms were stuffed in the myriad little drawers. She took the leaves, scattered them into mortar. To Demyx, the mix looked like a salad more than a medicine. She crushed it down, whispered a spell, and then with an odd little device began packing it into capsules. “Pectin,” she explained. “Goes down easier than the raw leaves. And doesn’t get stuck in your throat.”  She held up the tiny pill so he could see.

“What does it do?” Demyx asked.

“Cold cure,” she said simply. “We need lots of it this time of year. And colds always change. I’m forever tweaking it.”

A memory he hadn’t fully process washed in. He’d never been the best fighter in any of his parties, often left to provide background support. The spells then he’d used had been barbaric in comparison, but at least it kept people alive.

“When did you learn how to do all this stuff?” he asked. He was feeling odd.

“Oh, ever since I was a kid,” she said. “My mom and grandma before me were healers. They sorta taught me what I know now. And I’m also teaching myself.”

“Do you think it’s possible for someone else to learn?”

She crushed more herbs. “I’m sure it is. It’s magic like anything else.”

“What about--say--me?”

Aerith turned slightly. She appraised him.

“I’ve been wanting to help people and I don’t know how. You saved me. You saved Ienzo. I can’t do science, and I’m not a good fighter. But I have a good memory.” He considered the irony of that statement. But he’d always been good at memorizing.

“It’s a long road. This isn’t something you can do halfway. People’s lives could be at stake. But you know that.” She smiled a little. Tapped her forehead. “You’ve been through a lot in your life. Seen a lot of suffering.”

“Haven’t we all,” he said dryly.

“That’s… right.” She dusted off her hands. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, or believe you can do it. But you’ve gotta have a certain kind of tenacity. An ingenuity. Tell you what. Why don’t you read some base healing theory? There’s no way Ansem doesn’t have books about it. If that doesn’t send you running for the hills, we can talk.” She winked.

Demyx nodded. “Okay. Sounds good.”

“Good luck.”

He stood.

“Was that the answer you needed?” she asked.

“I think it was.”

----

A week or so passed. He tried to do what Aerith said, and study. But Demyx had never been the most studious, and almost everything he learned sans the very basics he’d learned in the field. He spent these minutes and hours alternating between the text and the dictionary. Why were academics such bad writers?

Sometimes he studied near Ienzo, sometimes he didn’t. Ienzo slept and slept and slept. Demyx could feel the utter lack of presence like a missing tooth. Honestly, being around him and not being able to talk to him was nearly painful.

During one of these marathon reading sessions, Even came in to check Ienzo’s vitals, as he did several times each day. “EKG activity is still fairly limited. But improving. He must be dreaming.”

“About what?” Demyx asked.

“I’ve no idea. ...What is that?” He reached town and felt at Demyx’s temperature. “Are you quite alright?”

Demyx sighed, marked his place in the book, and shut it. “I’m studying. Sue me.”

“But why?”

He drummed his fingers on the desk. “You’re just going to make fun of me.”

“I will… not,” Even said with great restraint.

Demyx raised an eyebrow.

“I must admit I am still getting used to the new you. Tell me. I will withhold judgement.”

“I’m thinking of learning to heal. Like. The magic.” He braced himself.

Even didn’t laugh. “Really? Why is that?”

“I want to help people. And this seems like something I can actually do.” He sighed. “I hate feeling helpless. If I can help someone not feel that way, it’d be nice. You know.”

“I admit I never put much stock in such magic initially. But seeing how that woman has cared for the two of you, I’m starting to change my mind.”

“Do you think I can do it?”

Even considered this. “You had a fairly potent magical ability in the Organization. I don’t see why not.”

“You don’t think I’m too stupid?”

He scowled. “I find it stupid that you hold my opinion in such high esteem.” Then, softening. “As you said. You’re not a scientist. But that really has little to do with practical intelligence.” He picked up the tome. “I’d be glad to help you, should you so want it. These aren’t exactly light reading. It’d be convenient to have another pair of hands.” He picked up another bag of saline. “Well. If you’re so interested, I might as well teach you how to do this much.” He showed Demyx how to change the IV and how to take base vitals. “I’m hoping we won’t need to do this for too much longer. But that’s all up to him.” Even patted Ienzo’s head.

“I miss him.” He felt tears in his eyes.

“As do I,” Even said softly. “Come. Are you hungry?”

---

The more Demyx studied, the more his memories became clearer. In those first shocked days, it had been hard to focus on any memory for very long. Now, not so much.

He’d been a healer then, but not a very good one. He’d still been a coward. More than once someone had gotten egregiously hurt because he hadn’t been willing to step up. He’d been kicked out of multiple parties that way.

He didn’t want to be a coward. It was time to be mature; a grown up. Deal with grown up things in a grown up way. Don’t run. Face it. The hurt will be over that much faster.

For the first time, he tried to summon the Keyblade because he wanted to. But that wasn’t what happened. Instead of cool metal, there was warm, varnished wood. Familiar. Well-worn. He held the sitar tenderly. Cried a bit out of relief.

He was still, despite it all, himself.

#beyond this existence #demyx #even #dilan #aerith #i don't think it's fair to tag ienzo bc he's barely in this chapter

[rnainframe]

every! single! one!

can you tell my mood dropped hard like halfway through

angel; do you have a nickname?at the moment lars is pretty much just a nickname because my mom won’t let me get a name change

awe; how old are you?19!

baby; favorite color?red!

bloop; spirit animal?that’s not a very good term iirc but i guess wolf?

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?book: wolves of the beyond is very near and dear to memovie: the world’s end, the thing 1982, the incredibles, deadpoolsong: i have... so many

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

her name is baby, she’s dressed up, and i still sleep with her to this day,

breeze; most precious childhood memory?sitting behind my dad and watching as he plays games on the psx and gamegear, i mainly remember ristar and sonic on the gamegear and silent hill on the psx

bright; mermaids or fairies?both!!!

bubbles; do you have a best friend?@aceiou @gruvu

buttercup; showers or baths?showers, submerging my body freaks me out

butterfly; dream destination?a road trip to visit all my frands

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?spiritual, mainly superstitious

calm; favorite scent?a kind of cologne my dad used to wear

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?my brain reminding me of my deep-seated desire to reconnect with an asshole i used to crush on despite me wanting to bury it for good

charming; have you ever been in love?yes

cozy; eye/hair color?i think the name of my hair color is light ash brown? people confuse me for ginger and blond though somehow

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?80s/90s, also the aesthetics of the 20s~50s

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?succulents, roses, lilies

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?clothes, something useless from my sister, a panic attack

cutie pie; most precious item you own?baby, my phone, my sketchbook, a paw print from sadie the people that put her to sleep sent us

cutsie; what makes you happy?i’m too numb rn to really know

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.i think the last time i got to go anywhere with friends and without my mom involved was last summer

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?like my dad, where people try to remember him fondly while ignoring the glaring bad shit about him, hhhH

daylight; favorite album of all time?smoke + mirrors from imagine dragons, in silico from pendulum, no culture from mother mother

dear; zodiac sign?sagittarius on the traditional zodiac, ophiuchus on the updated zodiac, my animal is the rabbit

delightful; concerts or museums?museums, concerts get me overloaded unless it’s a band i really like

dimples; have you ever written a letter?yeah

dobby; dream job?i don’t know anymore

doll; how do you like to dress?comfortably, ideally masculine

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?my dad haunts my house

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?i wanna get either an eye coming out of my shoulder of a shamrock in memory of my dad, something simple and space (and/or wolf) related in white ink, uhhhhmaybe the pokemon league symbol somewhere

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?they’re out there

euphoric; talk about someone you love.ace is adorable!!!! i love them so much, their voice, their face, their fashion, their art, their writing!!!!!!

fairy; do you have a pet?ginger morkie named rusty, i wanna get another lab sometime

fluffy; ocean or mountain?mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?sitting outside at night when it’s snowy, it’s so quiet and magical feeling

froglet; are you a good plant owner?unfortunately no

garden; how many languages do you know?one, trying to learn german or danish or irish

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?aceiou, gruvu, bunjywunjy, bogleech, weirdmarioenemies, uuhhhh

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?either space or red+black glitch stuff

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?when they’re nice

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourselftoo numb for that rn

heart; silk or lace?silk feels nice to touch but i wouldn’t wear either

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?coffee, cappuccino mixed w/ hot chocolate and a lot of creamertea, raspberry or peach iced tea

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?birds don’t judge you

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?white noise - the sound of a fan, the sound of rain, etc

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?rain, especially stormy

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?every day is a weekend. i have no life. i am rotting

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?i wheeze or silently laugh. i used to have an ugly loud laugh

kinky; do you blush easily?i blush when embarrassed or crying

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?spending every moment loving on the person i’m with, every day being like the first day we met

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?sunset to night

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?mother mother

love; what is your favorite season and why?autumn. it’s not as depressing as summer

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?i’ve never had macarons, but i love bunny tracks and peanut butter cup and bear creek caramel and

magic; what are five flaws you have?you think i can narrow it down to just five

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?warm pastels, warm neutrals, warm and cool darks

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?idk but i got it

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?wandering around mainstreet and old town st charles, eating at rt weilers, getting ice cream at riverside sweets, then having sodas from the old soda shoppe, ideally in autumn

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?sleeping, wasting away on the internet, the likes

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?don’t get attached, everything will go bad someday

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?baking is easier but i feel more in control when cooking

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?horrible, illegible

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?i used to play the recorder, then the flutei want to learn the guitar but i’m so bad at it that when trying to tune a very expensive guitar i got as a gift when i still had passion for it i broke a string

prinky; how do you relieve stress?i don’t

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?strawberries, raspberries, bananas, pomegranates, pickles, broccoli, tomatoes, pumpkins

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?i can’t focus on reading anymore

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?my dad’s death.

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?my dad’s death.

shine; art or music?i’m not good enough at art to deserve picking it, and i’m an audiophile (not! a! fetish!), so

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?i get too rough without realizing it. rusty probably doesn’t like me. he just licks me and sleeps by me whenever he doesn’t have my mom to love on.

smitten; do you collect anything?bottle caps, can tabs, pokemon merch, empty pill bottles

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?four at the head of my bed (two go unused), one plain blue body pillow to hold, like five other pillows to add pressure to my legs

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?peppermint kisses

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?phone

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?i used to wear necklaces all the time. they all break because of how i stim with them. my mom doesn’t trust anything around my neck anymore

spooky; sunrise or sunset?sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?crashbox, digimon, power rangers, pokemon, total drama

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.my room. 

soothe; digital or vinyl?digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now?read over some of the questions and ask me again

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?can i trust you

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?both

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?too easy

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?they are sensory nightmares

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?edd gould is dead

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?my ability to get completely numb over the dumbest bullshit

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?a bad one

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?nothing so far

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?night owl

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?shapeshifting or invisibility or mind reading

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?ideally i wanna go out but only if i trust whoever i’m with to understand that i burn out fast anymore

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?no

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?i obsessively organize things but am very messy

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?i have no choice, i legally own the house i’m in now. i can’t go anywhere without dragging my mom along. i’m trapped

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?i wish to have good birthdays. they never come true

#anon #answered

[softlychris]

JAR OF HEARTS

Pairing(s): Chan & Everyone Word Count: 1733 Rating: Everyone Genre/AU: non au, hurt/comfort  Warnings: Nightmares

Summary: It doesn’t matter what day it is in the year, you can still wake up feeling like there is an ache deep within your bones that just won’t go away.

Read On AO3

Notes: Here is my fic for Chan's birthday! its not as long as i would have liked it but it is what it is. Also, i didn’t intend for it to be so angsty in the beginning but lmao here we are.

Chan’s dreams have always been..odd to say the lease.

When he was a child he would dream of incredible journeys as he would read in the multiple volumes of manga he owns. Sometimes his dreams would be more abstract, showing fantastical creatures that he thought off while daydreaming in class that day or just full of feelings. Colors and warmth.

As he got older, the various types of dreams he had lessened a little but never went away. They also changed as he understood the world better and experience more of what life had to offer. Sadly, that made it easier for the dreams to turn darker, to the point where he found himself shooting away with quick breaths.

Still, he likes his dreams even if they were a bit hard to handle sometimes.

Like tonight.

Tonight, he dreams of his mother’s voice through a cell phone, her face a shadow he hasn’t seen in months. He dreams of the backs of fellow trainees he would never see again.

The loneliness of an empty dorm.

The dream takes a turn, the door of the dorm opened as his members (his brothers by any other meaning) step inside. For a moment its warm, the dim lights of his own hopelessness igniting again. He finally gets a chance on stage.

Then Minho and Felix are dragged out the door by a force unseen, their eyes drowned in tears. Chan can only watch, his body frozen in place across the room. Suddenly, Felix is replaced by BamBam, then Yuchan, the number of people going on like its endless.

All the people who left him behind, even if they never meant to. His heart beats loudly in his ears, his own failures and loneliness choking him.

“-an?”

He looks up from his own shaking hands and around the room. Its empty again but this si the first time he has heard a voice.

“Chris?”

The tone is deeper than his own, a slight rasp to the voice. A brief image of sharp features and munchlaxes grazes over his eyes.

Changbin?

His eyes snap open to the younger staring down at him from the side of the bed.

-----------------------------------

Changbin has shared a room with Chan long enough to know that he snores quietly in his sleep and really likes to cuddle. Not that that last point means anything (not like he lays with the other on nights where he is feeling a bit out of sorts of course not ) but it is something he’s noticed.

He also knows that Chan tends to dream, and his dreams are a little bit crazy sometimes. Still, he is also willing to sit on his bed while the older tells him fo whatever fantastical tale or odd creature he imagined while he sleeps. Sometimes Changbin wishes he had the kind of imagination Chan had.

Of course, there were times were Chan own imagination attack him in his sleep. It was never very violent but Changbin could hear when the other would wake up from a bad dream and sometimes he would try to comfort the older or just let him go back to sleep on his own if it wasn’t so bad.

He feels bad that Chan has a bad dream the night before his birthday. They had just gotten back from Indonesia a couple days beforehand and everyone ( while loving the convention and seeing more stays ) really missed their own beds. They all deserved a good sleep, Chan especially with his less than healthy sleep habits.

So Changbin can’t help but let out a soft sigh when he hears whimpering sound from the leader’s bed next to his. The older’s bad dream rarely went into nightmare worthy but they were always heartbreaking when it did happen. He sits up in bed and walks over to his leader’s side, hoping to wake him up before it got worse. That would be such a bad way to start a birthday.

Chan has his eyes closed tight and his jaw is tight with his clenched teeth. Changbin sets a hesitant hand on his shoulder and shakes him slightly. “Chan?”

There is is no response at first, he tries to call out his name again before trying something else. Though Chan is fine with his Korean Name, sometimes he just likes how the other call him Chris, a glimpse of home if you will.

“Chris?”

That’s what does it as Chan’s eyes snapped open, Changbin moves his arm away just in cause but finds that the older doesn’t move much. He takes a moment to let Chan get his breathing back under control before the older is sitting up in bed with a small groan.

“I'm Sorry,” Chan says once he realizes what happened “Did i wake you?”

Changbin looks tot he clock beside Chan’s bed and shakes his head with a smile.

“Nah, I just wanted to be the first one to wish you a Happy Birthday.”

Chan gave him a bewildered look before turned to look at the clock. The digital red numbers said 12:03, officially making it October 3rd.

“Oh. Thank You.” Chan answers, his voice still not sounding quite as chipper as it normally is.

“Chan? You Ok?”

“I mean-”

The door to their room barged open scaring both the boys as Jisung came in followed by the others, cake in hand. Jisung’s mouth was open to start singing before he caught the somber look on Chan’s face.

The leader didn’t seem in the mood for festivities at the moment so the candles on the cake were quickly blown out before Jisung sets the cake down on the bedside table.

“Chris? What’s Wrong?” Felix asks from behind Jisung.

Chan sighs. They made an agreement not to keep their feelings hidden from each other, especially after he almost collapsed a few months ago because he was too stubborn to tell the others about it. He knew he could trust them, even if they didn’t fully understand it.

“I...Thank you for coming to wish me Happy Birthday.” He says first, getting the easy words out of the way before continuing “I just don’t feel so great right now, i had a bad dream that kind of got to me. I hope this doesn’t ruin anything.”

Right now Chan just wants to lay down again (though he isn't sure if he wants to sleep, risk being drowned in his own bad memories)

Woojin steps out from the side of the little group, coming to squat down in front of Chan. He grazes his fingers over Chan’s knuckles in a soothing motion before gripping his fingers.

“That’s ok. Thank you for tell us the truth. Do you want us to go?” He asks just a softly as his actions.

Chan thinks about it and realizes that the others leaving would just make him feel vulnerable than he already was. He shook his head.

Woojin looks around the room a minute before standing up to wisper something to Changbin that  Cha couldn’t hear. Changbin listens for a moment before nodding in agreement and sending a small smile to Chan.

“Changbin is gonna stay with you for a bit. We’ll see you both in the living room in like..20 minutes ok?”

The others look confused at the oldest before he waves them off in a way that says he will explain to them later. Chan also wants to ask what is going on but decides to just trust Woojin and nods again.

“Cool. see you in a bit!”

And with that Woojin drags the rest out of the room and its quiet again. Chan sighs and Changbin just leads his body on top of Chan as a way of comfort.

Chan drifts off in a daze for those 20 minutes before Changbin his motioning for him to get up. It takes some effort to actually get out of bed and throw on a pair of sweats over his boxers before heading out into the living room.

He lets out a little gasp at what greets him.

The living room has been transformed into what could only be called as a giant Pillow fort. Blankets and various pillowed are laid out on the floor and the couch is pushed a little off to the side to give them more room but a variety of chairs are situated near the edged of the room to hold the larger blanket that acts as the room of it all in place. He can help but form a small smile despite his still lackluster mood.

Jeongin’s head pops out of one of the corners of the Fort before motioning the two inside. Changbin smiles to Chan before grabbing his hand and dragging him around the room to the “entrance” of the fort and crawling inside.

Chan follows him in and it greeted with his members lays out on the massive pile of blacks and pillows. There are some snacks also laying about as Hyunjin stuffs his face with some honey crackers.

The leader looks to his members and feels his mood lift just slightly, enough to earn another smile to them.

“Snuggle Pile?” Jisung asks him with a grin.

Chan nods “Snuggle Pile.”

There is alot of rearranging after that, some complain about feet being pressed into ribs and elbows into necks before they all get comfortable. Chan is in the middle of this pile, Minho as his back and Seungmin curled up to this chest. The others all rest for him as best they can. His heart starts to warm from the cold depths of his dreams isolation.

Its all quiet for a while before Felix starts off singing happy birthday, the deep timbre of his voice soft in the dark of the night.

The others soon join in, their collective harmonies soothing Chan into a more restful sleep.

His dream does come back, but this time there is no force to take his family away, but the door opens to a burst of color that thrums through his skin and bone. The Dorm bleeds away to a brightly light stage. He looks to either side of him to see his Members and the music of his hard work starts to sound around him.

He opens his mouth and sings with a smile that almost hurts his cheek. Its a pain he can live with.

#stray kids #skz #bang chan #skzwriters #IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I CHANGED MY IDEA FOR IT LIKE 8 TIMES OK #JUST DROPS THIS AND RUNS #Original: Fic #skz fic

[charsimatic]

All the super detailed questions for Faye please

YES. PLEASE. I am all for this!

My bby. 

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

“My name is Faye Elizabeth Ross. I’m not sure why my mom and dad chose my name, other than my mom liked fairies and my grandmother’s name was Elizabeth, for the middle name. I like it, though!”

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

“Uh…titles? I’m a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, fiance, and mother. Do those count?”

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

“I LOVED my childhood, most of it anyway. I remember my mom and dad taking me and my sisters to Six Flags one summer. I was maybe 3? 4? So I couldn’t ride all the big rides Mads and Jaymie were riding cause I wasn’t tall enough, and I was SO mad. So my dad put me up on his shoulders and took me to go get ice cream. We hid it from my sisters!

Everyone knows the bad memory, but if you want me to refresh it, the last thing I remember seeing is trees rushing up towards the window.”

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

“My relationship with them was great. I have lots of memories where I was giggling and laughing and smiling, I was just an overall happy kid.”

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

“I have two older sisters, Madlaina and Jaymie. When we were kids, Mads and I didn’t get along AT ALL. I think it was the age difference. She tried to boss me around and I wouldn’t take it, and that would piss her off! She’s 11 years older than me. Jaymie and I have always gotten along. Jaymie was thrilled to have a little sister, and treated me more like a delicate baby doll and loved to play with me. I went to her for advice for everything. Since becoming adults, my relationship with Mads has gotten better, but she’s so busy with her career I hardly ever get to see her. We try to talk every day though!”

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

“I was pretty average, I think. I listened, but I got busted for talking. I got a detention for fighting another girl on the playground once, cause she called me a dumb blonde. I enjoyed it, and I did graduate high school, which was a challenge, because I had Sophia in my senior year. I decided not to go to college to focus on her, but now that I’m getting married and everything and will soon have FIVE kids to support rather than one, I’d like to go back to school for something.” 

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

“I was pretty outgoing, so I made friends easily. Keeping them was harder, especially after the accident. They didn’t know what to say to me. Two of my friends stayed in my life for the long haul- my fiance, Freeman, and my best friend AND maid of honor, Braylee! The three of us hung out all the time as kids and have always been close. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

“We had a dog growing up named Missy. She was a lab and the sweetest dog ever. She died when I was five, though, she was old. I now have a dog with my family.”

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

“I think so, my dog seems to love me! I also had an asshole cat, well, my sister did, who wouldn’t leave me alone when I lived with her. He was SO rude, but he loved me.”

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

“I LOVE children and I LOVE having children! While they drive me insane on a regular basis, they also bring me incredible joy and they are FUNNY.

I try to be as laid back as possible with my kids, but my anxiety has been bad lately with Freeman’s job, so I think that went out the window.”

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

“Nope.”

12. What is their favourite food? 

“Food in general. Especially right now. Pregnant with twins? I’ll eat anything you put in front of me.”

13. What is their least favourite food?

“KALE. Who in their right mind eats that stuff?”

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

“My mom’s tater tot casserole. She made it for all of us, usually on Sunday’s. All three of us have the recipe, I just haven’t had the chance to make it yet. It is SO. GOOD.”

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

“Eh…I’m getting better, since I have to cook for the kids most nights right now, whenever Freeman is on a job or working late. I used to absolutely suck at it.”

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

“I don’t, really. Unless it’s deer things. I like deer.”

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

“When you have young kids, you have more photos than you know what to do with.”

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

“Romance, romance, pop and country, comedy and drama, romance, and eh, I don’t really play video games.”

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

“Horror. And rap. Enough said.”

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

“I LOVE musicals! I’ve made Freeman watch a few with me too! I’m always listening to music- when I’m cooking, cleaning, driving, whatever. And I dance. Badly. I make it a point to dance as terribly as I can. My kids hate it.”

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

“I was very quick to anger for a while, and sometimes, I still can be, but I’ve been actively trying to take a deep breath or walk away if I can until I’m not as angry anymore. I cry when I lose my temper and start screaming.”

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

“I playfully insult my sisters. I’ll call them bitch, asshole, stuff like that, but I really don’t like to actually insult people.”

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

“Next question. Sore subject.”

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

“I sleep okay now, but for a while after the incident I slept like absolute shit. I tossed and turned and had nightmares every night. Now, with two almost preteens, a toddler, and twins in my tummy? I sleep like the dead.

Also, I like to sleep on Freeman.” *Grins*

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

“I find a lot of things funny, and I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. I don’t know if I’m funny, but I make people laugh cause I can’t get through a joke or story without cracking myself up, and that makes other people laugh, so.”

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

“I sing, dance, hum, smile, I get really loving and cuddly, too.”

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

“Uh, what doesn’t make me sad? You know those EVIL commercials they play to try and get you to donate to animal shelters? Water works. I don’t really hide it, unless it’s something big that I’m not ready to explain to my children. I get really mopey or irritable, and I get angry at myself for not being able to snap out of it.”

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

“Losing my family and children. It’s happened before and they had to give me a tranquilizer.”

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

“Middle? I dunno. I try to help them if I can, or try to soothe their fears.”

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

“I do exercise. I gained a LOT of weight in the hospital and hated myself, and I’ve finally gotten to a place where I’m happy.”

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

“I don’t really drink, but I’ve gotten tipsy a couple times with Braylee over girls night.”

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

“I’m a mom, I dress like a mom!” *Laughs* “I try to find things that are 1- on sale, 2- cute, and 3- comfortable. Bonus if it can be easily washed because I’m clumsy and, again, I have a toddler.”

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

“Comfy granny panties if I’m lounging around the house or it’s shark week. Lacey when I’m uh…” *Clears throat* “I’ve also been known to wear Freeman’s boxers, but that sorta…drives him wild…so I have to be careful.”

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

“Slim but curvy. Curves came after kiddos. My dancer body is all but gone.”

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

“Guilty pleasure? Dance moms. Sorry not sorry, I’m sucked into the drama and I love critiquing the dances. Unguilty pleasure? Chocolate. Who doesn’t love chocolate?”

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

“GOODNESS no, I can’t sing. But I do still like to dance a bit, and bake.”

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

“I read every night before bed. I’ve been reading forever, so I read pretty quickly. I like fiction. I don’t really like poetry.”

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

“I wish I could sing! My niece, Emily, can sing, but she doesn’t plan on doing anything with it, which makes me sad. 

I admire truthfulness, kindness, and a soft heart. That’s hard to keep.”

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

“Freeman and I leave each other little love letters all the time!”

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

“Coffee, and I drink it throughout the day because I’m trying to keep up with Caleb, organize the girls schedules, and get them to and from their sports and stuff. I just started driving again, it was a necessity.”

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

“My sexuality is Freeman!” *Giggles* “Look at him. That’s what I find attractive. He’s hot. He’s also incredibly loving and caring, hilarious, and a fantastic father to our children. He’s also..” *Breaths and blushes, fanning herself* “Amazing. In bed.”

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

“I want to raise my children to the best of my ability and make sure they’re healthy and happy. I would sacrifice anything for them. And my secret ambition? I’ve been thinking more and more of opening a cafe…”

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

“I believe in God. He’s saved me and my family quite a few times. I don’t…think anything of non-religious people? Believe whatever you’d like, it’s not harming me or anyone else.”

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

“Season, summer. Weather, a good mix between sunny and rainy. I’m better in the heat, and I complain when it’s too cold!”

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

“I don’t know how others see me. I hope they like what they see!”

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

“I just try to be myself and be approachable.”

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

“I don’t mind dressing up every now and then. It makes you feel good. Pretty. But I usually can’t wait to kick off my heels and curl up in my pjs as soon as we get home!”

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

“I like having friends over, but I’ve never really been a party-er”

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

“A shirt of my mom’s and my dad’s watch. They’re both in my closet, in a safe.”

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

“Clothing for daytime and sleeping, shoes, sunglasses, chargers, first aid kit. And a book. And a sippy cup!”

#Faye Ross #Anonymous #Fayeman

[mariposalass]

Cafe AU Main Post (The Cozy Place Cafe)

Okay, this is probably a big silly long post of nonsense, but I’m really serious about making this Cafe/Coffee Shop AU a thing big time. Having been to my fair share of hanging out in Starbucks, Coffee Bean, and smaller cafes (including my time in college), I can safely say that I would love to imagine an AU where me and many of the fam bunch run a cafe in the awkward love child of FRIENDS, The Office, and Parks and Recreation.

So if you don’t mind the madness that will ensue here, then click and read this thing:

So, Mari’s family runs this cozy cafe for quite a long time in the heart of (insert name of whatever city in the godforsaken world). Harry and Kairi are obviously still adopted into the family, at just ages 9 and 5 respectively here. The cafe’s name is The Cozy Place, lame name based off the Good Place TV show (might change it someday).

The Space Grumps himself, 12th Doc, is the main manager of the joint; sure, he’s a grumpy old Scottish fart who always feels that he’s surrounded by idiots (customers and employees alike whenever they give him a hard time), but he’s quite a lovable goofball once you get to know him more. Loves to listening to rock music (although he wouldn’t let you in on it), wears shades occasionally, awful in being not socially awkward, carries a fob watch at all times, and doesn’t do hugs. He’s basically the kids’ mentor to teach them the ropes and one of the oldest members in the staff.

Kirby is a loyal new employee in charge of cooking food along with Michiru & Ron and taking orders in the afternoon shift, but since he’s new to the job and a little baby, he’s pretty slow on doing his assigned task. And he has a tendency to occasionally eat what food he makes, still, he’ll try to resist the temptation for the most part and is always happy to see customers new and old.

Michiru and Ron handle much of the food preparations like pastries (with the head baker Jacob Kowalski), salads, sandwiches, pastas, soups, and more. Michiru is the Lesbian Team Mom who is kind, friendly, and always there to talk to, though she can be sneaky in speculating the everyday madness within the team, holds shipping guessing games during off hours, and she can handle such madness so much before she could snap back in sharp anger. Her girlfriend Haruka, their friend Setsuna, their foster daughter Hotaru, and the Inner Senshi are regulars to the cafe; sometimes Michiru would give the Outer Senshi something to eat for the day ahead before the next shift starts. Meanwhile, Ron is the witty sarcastic joker who never fails to multitasking the stuff he’s given, although he does have insecurity issues being mostly underappreciated by his own family and he does have concerns over his siblings being more off-kilter than he is (mostly with his older twin brothers Fred and George). It got a little worse when his sister Ginny tried to flirt with Harry and Ron had to reprimand her in front of the public out of concern; since the incident, she has moved from trying to get Harry’s attention to dating an unknown person instead.

Hermione is the dutiful by the books barista who wouldn’t dare to break the rules in everyday life and in work but does do it anyway in mild amounts. One of the well-read of the staff (outside Mari, Philip, the Doctor, and Michiru), has an adorable awkward relationship with Ron, manager of the library in the cafe, and knows nearly all drink recipes by heart and mind.

Harry is the kitchen manager of the cafe: responsible for checking & ordering ingredient supplies and running the kitchen, Team Dad, knows how the business works, normally chill guy to talk to, but man this guy has a temper! He’ll crush you with brutal honesty if you’re being a jerk. Has a crush on Issa (who’s a regular frequenting the place as a journalist working nearby, to which he responds through shy blushing and ducking under the register), best (overprotective) brother to Mari and Kairi, and bad customers & employees’ worst nightmare. Harry never lets them to get away with it and will make bad customers to leave and bad employees to do kitchen chores as a punishment should they get out of line.

Kairi is the resident latte art maker: people never forget the creative doodles she makes on their drinks (thanks to her art degree) & her calligraphy-like way of writing their names in the cups, up and about in fulfilling orders, and always there to give you a smile. Dates Sora the barista, and can be too much of a chatterbox at times.

Sora and Riku also work as baristas: Sora is the adorkable excitable bean and Riku is the calm & collected dude. The kids’ childhood friends, and since Sora & Kairi are dating, Riku will tease the two out of fun and Mari & Harry often join him as well for the same reasons. Sora finds it really awkward to deal with that they’re working altogether under one roof, although Kairi doesn’t seem to mind it in ever.

Marina may only work in the cafe part-time on weekends and holidays and being mute can be an obstacle for her when it comes to getting orders, but she’s a dedicated employee willing to help out, has a patience of a saint, and is quick in taking orders on paper like a soldier at war, although her usual self-sacrificing habit can be taxing on her mental health and it does worry Mari, the cafe staff, and her adopted folks a couple of times. It doesn’t even help that Ventus also works as a part-time employee in the cafe too, which leads to tons of adorable crush moments between the two as they help out the business. Mari’s family wants to make sure that the cafe is safe for everyone to come over and to work in regardless of religion, race, sexuality, disabilities, etc., and especially with Mari being autistic and Harry being a survivor of child abuse. The cafe taking in Marina and a few others further strengthens this belief even more and they are hoping to find and train more employees with disabilities in the near future, as well as treating them right as they do with Marina.

Mari is the assistant manager to the Doctor and the actual heiress to the business, but she’s basically the heart of the group: ensuring that the whole place doesn’t burn and running efficiently as heck. Will mince you with harsh brutally honest words if you dare to cross her, the customers, her family and friends, and everyone else. Quite smart for her age, though her Asperger-induced social awkwardness can be a weak point and it frustrates her a lot.

Philip is another new hire to the cafe and is low key having a noticeable crush on Mari, but he couldn’t spill it out. He and Mari don’t usually see each other often due to him working in a different shift, but there are multiple times when the cafe is understaffed and needs more back up during the more intense rush hours, and he is assigned to the same shift as Mari’s schedule: that’s when sparks do fly between them and it gets adorable and awkward at the same time. Their mutual friend, Theodosia Burr, is a regular taking up Law and she highly suspects that Philip is hiding his feelings towards Mari, hence her constant nagging on him to go on a date with Mari (which is not happening, yet).

Issa, as said above in Harry’s section, is a rising star journalist whose work place is near to the cafe, and that fact is helpful for her whenever she needs to get something to eat or get her coffee fix. Her frequent visits has become more awkward on Harry’s part as he began to develop romantic feelings for her as she does, but he’s such as nervous wreck that he would duck and hide whenever he sees her face to face for longer than he wanted to. Ahk’s her co-worker in the news agency in this AU: not too crazy for coffee but enjoys the ambiance of the place and does like other food & drink offerings as well.

As for everyone else? They’re all cafe regulars, the same applies to nearly all the self shippers and other f/os I know of. Sure, some of them can be rowdy at times, but they’re not that terrible compared to the ruder customers the cafe rarely gets. It’s because the cafe won’t tolerate any crap from the nasty customers and they simply avoided the cafe anyway.

#coffee shop and cafe au #coffee shops and cafes #aus #au #self shipping #self ship #self insert #my f/os #familial f/os #platonic f/os #romantic f/o

[shslkarutaqueen-blog]

45 Chara Dev Questions!

a la Tom Ham, ft. too much babbling.

Original Questions

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Tomoka has 4 sisters! One older and three younger, to be specific. If you’ve looked through her photo album you probably know they all kinda look the same, though they do grown into some differences when they get older. Tomo is the only one who never grows past 5′2″ eventually. It’s sad. She’s closest with her older sister, Makoto, a bartender. Makoto fought constantly with their parents, and after a long time struggling with her time as the family heir, she broke off ties and moved out on her own. As the two oldest, Tomo and Mako have seen each other through a lot of their hardships, and Tomo sympathized with Mako while Mako served as Tomo’s encouragement. They spend more time with each other these days than with any of their other family members. Kasumi is the next youngest sister, the middle child! She’s the current family heir, as Tomo dumped that responsibility onto her after she left the family as well. While the two aren’t at odds with one another, there is some minor tension between the two since they’re less close and don’t share a mutual understanding on... well pretty much anything. Next down the line is Misaki. She’s very close with Kasumi, the two call each other Zuzu and Kiki. Misaki is very high-spirited, and Kasumi finds herself often in the position of her protector.

The youngest is Kimiko! She’s mysterious and spooky... not exactly close with any of the sisters, but quite cool and collected for her age, and arguably close with their father. I hope u enjoyed that text wall for question #1.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

??? Hamazoe (whoops!). Tomo doesn’t know either of her parents very well, as she’s lived with her grandparents for most of her childhood and currently lives alone. She holds some resentment toward them for being Garbage, but not nearly as much as Mako, who has a very personal feud. Although she doesn’t know that much about what her mother does, Tomo is aware that she used to be an olympic gold medalist, and feels somewhat sorry for her knowing she gave up her dream life to marry into the Hamazoe family and have 5 hecking kids. 

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Where Tomo has a bit of sympathy for her mother, she has absolutely none for her father. Again, it’s not direct animosity, but she holds a strong “Tch, Whatever” attitude towards the two for skipping out on raising their own children. ??? Hamazoe (whoops x2!) is from a long line of ambitious businessmen, and pushes the children (mostly through his parents, who actually take care of them) to be ambitious and follow extremely specific goals. He’s not all bad, but he has a severe lack of understanding as to how to raise and deal with kids.  Both parents are actually fairly coddling toward Tomo, as she didn’t exactly have a formal breakoff like Mako, and they’re hesitant to burn bridges with another daughter (do they feel guilty, or do they not want bad press? who knows...). Ever since Tomo moved out, they’ve been sending her checks to help support herself, which she ‘begrudgingly’ accepts. Neither of them showed up to her Queen match! She’s a little upset over that. Just a bit.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Not exactly? Mako having her falling out with the fam did trigger what eventually made Tomo Grow A Pair, so to say. Before then she was very domestic and abiding. Then she realized. Oh wait fuck this I don’t have to listen to other people. Eventually learned to stand up to her Grandmother and her verbal abuse etc. Ta da! Her fam is probably all aware of this.

(^^ Her potential despair fever personality was going to be this, essentially) 

As far as in-game? Well... the whole dying thing definitely had an impact on her! In what way? Hey... I won’t spoil ; } (jk not much changed but she’s a bit shook and her ridiculous self-confidence is currently butting heads with delightful depression)        

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Candy, Duh. Her outfits almost never have pockets, but she will make sure to carry this one thing no matter what. Similar to how she keeps thing in her sleeves, she tends to squirrel away whatever she needs in her socks, waistband, bra, you name it. Pre-doubt she always carries at least a little money on her at all times.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Cats! Also, I like to think she has dreams about idols and movies-- the kind of things she doesn’t like to talk about, but secretly loves. Historical dramas, tea in a garden, herself on a stage singing. How fun!

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Her recurring nightmare is facing off with the Meijin! He’s seriously scary! It always ends either just before she’s about to lose or right after a climactic monologue. The monologue is extra scary. Words.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Nope! And she’s not looking to try it out. Toucan Dan says No Guns No Funs.

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Heck yea! She was the heir to a rich family and then ditched it to live on her own as a teen. Admittedly, she gets money from her parents still to pay rent, but she’s nowhere near livin’ on the ritz anymore. She hangs onto some nice things, like her favorite kimonos, and buys as expensive food as she’s able, but otherwise doesn’t do amazingly for herself.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

More, I suppose? Either is fine, but less definitely has casual connotations to it. Tomo’s certainly not shy about showing skin. Being in a kimono and hakama definitely sets her in ‘game mode’, and gives her a +10 boost to confidence (hence why she feels best wearing it to all trials, as well as when she practices in order to get ‘serious’).

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Off the top of my head I’d have to say when she faced the meijin the day after her queen match. He asked her to a play a game for ‘fun’ knowing the two can’t face each other for any official ranking purposes, and his playing style absolutely pulled the floor out from under her. He’s a master of manipulation, smart as she’s ever met, and knows exactly how to push at people to get them out of their element- which is a lot to say for Tomo considering her play syle is almost the exact opposite, yet he still broke through. She still shudders thinking about him to this day.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Generally speaking Tomo is calm nearly all the time! She was amazingly serene (in her own way) during her final match against the former queen, however. Despite the way she jokes around and how brash she can be, Tomo is amazing at keeping herself genuinely collected on the inside. To truly rile her is a feat, though she loves to play around and pretend to get upset.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Not really! She’s not a fan of blood, for sure, but it doesn’t shake her, nor is it a phobia or squick to any extent. It’s gross, but as previously mentioned, she doesn’t let that kind of stuff get to her. Whatever the circumstance is, she’ll take it objectively as it comes.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Naaames. Not that she’s too bad at remembering people in general, but she’s used to verbal association. It probably helps that she likes to call people by their first names and nicknames! Or is that what makes it easier? Hmm...

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

It’s not her main focus in life by any means, though she has ‘’’’Refined Tastes’’’’’ so money is obviously important to, um, purchase those. She’s more materialistic than money-grubbing for certain. She likes to Have things. Though she’s also pretty good at sharing! Kind of. Er.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Ooh... Success is very, very important to Tomoka... A big struggle for her is what success means and when she’s attained it. It’s a driving force behind the whole reason she left home, feeling like she needed to make something of herself, all on her own. 

In this way... I guess success and happiness can kind of complicate one another for her sometimes? Happiness is also important, as is probably obvious just from her fun-loving YOLO attitude. She’s finding a balance. Not very well, but, y’know.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

When she was a kid they had all kinds of stuff to play with (nothing electronic, though), but she got the most enjoyment out of a rubber ball just by throwing it around and chasing after it. She got in trouble at one point with her little sisters for breaking a lantern in the garden while roughhousing, and their grandparents were like... hey.... time to cool it. Whoops.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition for sure. The first thing Tomo looks for in other people is whether they stick up for themselves and whether they act on their beliefs. She’s pretty generous as to how far this extends, but generally you can assume she’s not about weak-willed folks. Wisdom is something she respects, but doesn’t find necessary. She won’t admit it, but she’s kind of envious (and maybe fearful) of people who are smart, especially if they’re on the clever side of things.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Would u trust this teen in any way to do anything right in a relationship. For one thing, she’s very self-interested, so it’s easy for her to not take into account her partner’s needs. She’s also very fickle, and can get distracted easily by things outside of relationships, especially since she’s not super romantically-inclined. In this universe.... well, she hasn’t had a proper relationship yet, so who’s to say what else could happen given the way she’s developing!

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Hmmm... well, I think Tomo likes to pick out others’ flaws to help inflate her ego, but she definitely also has a tiny chamber deep, deep in the pit of her where she files everything she sees in others she wishes she could be like, and locks it away for 300 years under 50 layers of malibu and taiyaki. One might not suspect it, but she’s very self-flagellating behind the control she’s trained into herself.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Her first response is to blame others if she can, but she likes to be objective when possible. If the situation is right, she’ll own up to making a mistake. This is less likely if she somehow manages to get frustrated or has to admit it to someone she seriously dislikes, though.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Guts! Balls! Chutzpah! She just likes people who are honest and upfront about what they’re doing. People who take life in simple stokes, and don’t try to get too crafty. Vanillas. People with Honor. That being says, there isn’t too much she dislikes in others outside of key negative traits, and it takes a lot make her dislike someone, as she’s very accepting of people as long as they’re doing what they want to do. That’s just Friends tho ! ;Y

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Dependency. Well, she’s okay with follower-types as long as they follow along with the kind of things she likes (Thanks). She’s also not fond of things like people who complain about X but do nothing to make X change. Obviously she’s also not keen on otaku types. Nerds are her Bane.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

It can take some time, but again, she’s not one to find much to object to in others. As long as someone proves they’re being ‘real’ whatever that means to them, she finds that as admirable proof of Heart. Morality isn’t especially Tomo’s thing, so she can get very case-by-case, but otherwise she plays it loose. She likes to believe in unspoken understands, as amazingly faulty as that is.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Even if she’s close with someone, she won’t hide if she’s suspicious of them (unless that somehow goes behind gal code! yikes!). Objectivist etc etc she just plays things how they come. She won’t hold suspicion close to her heart. If it turns out to be true, then it’s usually as simple as taking a step back to square one.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Well! Tomo’s not the best with kids for sure, but she doesn’t mind them. Having 3 baby sisters separated by a decent age gap does that to a gal. Being equipped with candy usually helps. Don’t trust your kids with her, though-- if she has to entertain them, she might get them up to some serious Monkey Business. A bad influence.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

She takes it HEAD-ON. Go all out or go home. She’ll only back down from a fight if there’s a reeeeallly good reason. Simple as that. She’s very good at keeping her cool, however, despite being so trigger-happy so to speak.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

If someone is ready to have a beatdown she’s fuckin there for it. Generally speaking, though she’s respectful of not fighting with someone if they aren’t up for it. She’ll attack people of her own volition if she wants, but doesn’t like to resort to this too much, because it lends itself to poor emotional control. She’s always up for friendly fisticuffs, however! Or rival fisticuffs. Or enemy fisticuffs. She just likes sparring with people, for whatever weird obsession she has.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Tomo’s always wanted to be an IDOL or a PRINCESS, and uh. Well, not quite making the mark there. Then again, she’s really not sure what she wants to to with her life outside of short-term and silly goals. 

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Rotten food is a biggie. Smells really get to her, since it’s not something she’s trained to block out, and man that stuff gets a visceral reaction out of you. Non-physical objects of disgust, though? Mmm... stuff mentioned in early questions... bad attitudes (the irony), but outside of little stuff, not much???

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Challenging someone to Karuta. Haha. She also feels very comfortable at social events, especially clubs. She loves her sister’s bar (even tho ur fucking 16 kid!!!!!! have a juicy juice!!!! sit down!!).

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Doing anything that requires tactical thinking... having to be lead by someone else... but also generally working in a team is not her favorite. Surprisingly, even though she’s super social and outgoing, she hates being in teams. School is also Yuck Brain Cooties.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Unless someone’s really managed to dig at her core insecurities, she handles it quite well. She’s all about becoming a better her, but she recognizes that she lacks talent in most walks of life, and has a hard time improving at anything even when she gives a serious effort.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

At this stage in her life I think Tomo is prone to falling back on comfortable methods. If she’s in a pretty calm scenario, especially with others she likes, she’s willing to try out different stuff, but if she’s alone or gets frustrated, she can get caught in a loop that keeps going until she breaks.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

Friendllly~~ Suuuuuper casual, my guys! She’s quick to assume people are friends with her if she finds them alright, so she warms up to them in a buddy-buddy way quickly whether they like it or not. She teases often and plays around, too!

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Ignore Ignore Ignore Block Report Mute. She avoids bad vibes at all costs first and foremost. Otherwise, she can’t help but get condescending when facing them, and tries to make a wall out of her opinions. Not today, fiend.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Ooof. These are kinda closely related for her? Honor takes the lead by a hair, but she’s also about being the number one, the big boss, a leader, so if that falls then she’s taken a pretty big blow to her honor. Staying true to oneself regardless of circumstances is the most important, though.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Shuffle tf out my dude. If she can’t, or it’s a volatile threat, then Smash. And uh. Well, we know how that worked out.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Nop... her cats might nip at her sometimes when she gets too grabby, but she doesn’t really care.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

She can get a little pushy... she doesn’t mean to come off as rude, but... let’s say she expects a lot from them? If she’s at a ramen stand and it’s taking a while to get it ready she won’t be shy about whining how hungry she is out loud. Tomo’s a little stuck in the rich kid/queenly ‘they’re a servant’ headset.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Earn! You gotta Werq It. Now, that’s not to say she isn’t hypocritical at times and feels she deserves things despite being a lazy ol bag o bones, but...

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Oh gosh... uh... I don’t think so? She’s been very closed into her family most of her life, and otherwise very self-sufficient (or has tried to be self-sufficient). She wouldn’t look to anyone outside of her family let alone within it to be a parental figure.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Same as the last question pretty much. Outside of any remaining ties to her family, she hates being dependent on other people or people being completely dependent on her, so she tries not to do this, or at the very least make major figures out of them in her life.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Easy if it’s friends! Easy if she’s drunk. Otherwise she’s a stubborn mule who thrives on rival-like relationships, so admitting it so easily is not on her agenda. Also, not exactly skilled at romantic affection, this tot.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Tomo is very superstitious! She jokes about it, but she’s also very genuinely worried about ghosts and spirits! She hopes she can have a peaceful afterlife, or be able to haunt someone into the ground if they do her wrong in death. While she’s usually scared of running out of time to be alive, she goes back and forth on whether she’s scared of the afterlife or feels optimistic about it. Very importantly, also, she doesn’t want to be forgotten!

#Iiiiiiii wrote too long answers lmao #have fun with this behemoth of a post #ooc #charadev

[fullmoonfireball]

OC Recap-thingy???

hecc i put this off for too long 

i dont really know what that anon meant when they requested this, but i hope this’ll do (readmore bc this is gonna be Long)

Crinoline Parisa

Ribbon’s mom

where’s her husband??? we just dont know

she’s doing her Best™ to be a good mom to Ribb

Lace Parisa

Mirror World!Ribbon

an edgy lil shit

very grumpy

why have i never posted a coloured pic of her

Shadeleine Walsh

Mirror World!Adeleine

Probably the OC I fiddle the most with.

She has a really strong Texan accent for some reason??? I don't know why I gave her it

Takes magic lessons from Wiz( that magician guy that no one seems to remember/care about?). As it turns out, their brand of magic is not anything she can pull off.

Works as their assistant sometimes... Even if it can be slightly terrifying because of their methods (their magic lets them make the tricks a bit more than just illusions). Shaddy has gotten cut in half (or more parts) more times than she cares to count.

Actually more interested in drama, but she's taken what she got.

She's good friends with Shadow Kirby! They hang out a lot!

Her name used to be Shado. And yes, that IS pronounced the way it looks like it is. She hated it.

Owns an oversized magenta sweater and wears it at ever chance she gets. Wiz hates it.

there wasn’t originally another character in this picture what are you talking about

Shadow Marx (left)

Mirror World!Marx (no duh)

Mild insomniac. He hates it.

Just wants to sleep, like any other noddy.

Dating Mirror Magolor

May or may not have kept him up with his late-night thoughts a few times.

Syzzle (right)

Mirror World!Gryll

Doesn't care about Star Stacker (or any similar game) in the slightest.

A complete NERD

Probably owns a library or something

Theatra (left)

Mirror World!Claycia

Complete drama queen

Which is good, because she's an actress.

Gay as hell for Shadow Elline

she’s supposed to have horns like Claycia, but I forgot them in this picture

Shadow Elline (right)

Mirror World!Elline (what a shock)

An inkbrush fairy-thing

Writes most (if not all) of Theatra's stuff

Gay as hell for Theatra

the ‘straight man’ of the duo, despite being neither straight nor a man

Mirror Magolor

Mirror World!Magolor (obviously)

An anxious little negg (nerd egg)

A cinnamon roll (unlike his counterpart)

Protect him

Knows nothing about where he came from

Dating Shadow Marx

Slightly annoyed by how much he keeps him up. But he stops rambling... eventually.

More info on him can be found here

Rose Symyva (left) and Violet Larivi (right)

They're married

Rose is pretty chill, Vi's a bit more eccentric.

Don't insult Violet unless you want to face Rose's wrath (which you don't).

I don't know much about them yet, they're mostly just designs.

Typhiste Nirymsu

DEAD (GOOD RIDDANCE)

He was An Ass

Dated Magolor at one point.

Used to be a prince (now he's just dead)

LEMME SMASH

Echo

Also dead, but less so.

Died from electrocution.

Doesn't remember anything about her life, which distresses her.

When she was alive her name was Iris

Updated version of one of my first Kirby OCs 

Niaviri Taysin

Also dead (for real this time)

A good little egg

Was a florist!

v gay with Odalania

Tislora Altryb 

Mags’ mom

v sweet egg

maiden name is ‘Azaress’

was closer to her son than Aparctias was

idk what else to say about her

Aparctias Altryb

Mags’ dad

firm, but kind

taught the egg most of what he knows about magic out of family tradition

also got him started on learning English

Hynwari (left) and Sanfyria (right) Rimaddim

only exist in the Popa AU

super dead, even in the AU 

both of them are Very Short (Sanfyria especially). they could make Meta Knight look like he’s average height

Popopo (the green half of Kirby)’s parents

she’s supposed to have speckles i just forgot them in the original pic

they were specifically targeted to be killed just so their son could be taken from them by Nightmare

Hazel Pesyphomia (left) and Amelia Evitheth-Pesyphomia (right)

MARRIED

Adopted a certain artist as their child.They love that noodle-orb a lot

Amy would absolutely fight you if you were to insult her wife or her kid.

Were honestly really scared the first time one off their kid's drawings came to life

Twila

You know her. She's the one with all of those scarfies.

Spoils those little beasts

Was actually supposed to be trained as a Spynum, not a Simirror, but was more interested in magic than archery.

Lives mostly-alone in the woods.

Amicia Tyopt

technically that’s not actually her in that picture but let’s look past that

as implied above, her body was stolen by sectonia (shown above)

idk anything about her personality yet tbh

Osgifu Amata 

handmaiden moth, in more ways than one

worked for Sectonia Way Back When

deceased

Eglantine Cujoi

Into™ gals

first body stolen by Sectonia

deceased in both body and mind

Kimiko

anime-verse oc

demon beast

just read this it’s got all you’ll need to know about her

Jordan (the one with the spear) and Coral (on top of Jordan)

BWD's siblings

Jordan is their older brother, Coral their younger sister.

He works as one of Dedede's guards. She's too young to work.

Jordan's a little jealous about Taylor (BWD) outranking him, but he's proud of them at the same time.Coral is a little ball of energy.

They were the other Waddle Dees in Dream Collection's intro, and the sleeping Dees with the eye implants next to Bandanna Dee in Robobot( in the modern train level I think?).

Odalania 

Dead

Really freaking good at magic

Lean Bean

Worked for Typhiste's family

Gay™ with Niaviri

also has a casual clothes ref

Magolor (not that one)

yes, every other time ‘Magolor’ has been mentioned I was referring to canon one. i call this one Old Magolor/Classic Magolor/etc. for simplicity

this is who canon mags named himself after

Old and Dead

one of the lor’s previous captains

lorlor

Cymboria Taysin

niaviri’s younger sister

she’s the bigger one

very sweet

good at magic

likes to travel 

often brings foreign flowers back to nia!

Morastrum Altryb/Nirymsu

doesnt exist in the mainverse

a Good Lil Girl

... even if her dads (mags and ty) are both Asses

last name depends on if Typhiste is alive or not

likes sweet foods

Myrdinia

mirror world!drawcia

an automaton made by wiz 

speech has a Low Quality Garble

incredibly bitter over the loss of her sister

always has at least 5 throwing knives on her

Glorious Nebula

really old 

their language shows their age 

how are they still functioning

no one’s really sure how they lost that quarter of their face

used to have one of those shooting star decorations, but it got broken off at some point i totally didnt just forget it

??? (left) 

old and dead

one of the ancients

married to garulin, was very happy with her

probably worked a lot on the clockwork stars, but did help with other artifacts as well

pleasant guy, but not really anything special if you ignore his place in history

Drusorig (middle)

also old and dead

another one of the ancients

i don’t have a proper ref for him, but there is this

he has dark fur, for all that matters

i dont trust him

very strong magic

the master crown was his own personal project

he didn’t trust anyone else with it so i think you can imagine who the subject of his experiments with it was.

destroyed most of the evidence of his experiments before his death so no one would know about them

it worked

Volzavair (right)

also also old and dead

guess who’s also one of the ancients (it’s him)

actually has a proper ref

SHORT

gay, but ended up marrying a woman out of convenience and desire for offspring

relatively weak magic, specialized in technology

worked on the Lor Starcutter, but died before it was completed

his oldest kid probably finished it

Kyneriun Snekell

press ‘f’ to pay respects

sweet pastel boy

loves baking

a little younger than magolor

Dalindia Nirymsu

dead

was queen regnant

could be a pretty strict ruler, but tried to be a just ruler

her husband is dead(er?)

ty’s mom

tried to keep him in line

Tiltaii

i’m not even sure if that should be their name but i’ll just... roll with it

theyre nonbinary

a literal doodlebug (pillbug artist)

painted these portraits

doesnt have any magical abilities unless floating their hands counts

bought Paintra from Paint Roller, and was... pretty surprised, to say the least when she suddenly came to life

regardless of their surprise, they’re trying to take good care of her

???

a honey bee

runs a cafe

very polite, but not a pushover

more or less a design with a few ideas attached at this point

Garulin

married to the unnamed green ancient

technically one of the ancients but not commonly acknowledged as one

pretty good at magic

mostly worked with the artifacts’ ‘mind’s, both through programming and magic

Shadow Sectonia

mirror world!sectonia (what a shock)

floralian jewel wasp

accidentally ended up corrupting other world!sectonia by having too much contact with her

naturally a wasp. hasn’t stolen anyone’s body

she’s too nice to do that

dead. actually got murdered around the same time her counterpart died

spoilery elements below (don’t worry he’s the last OC here)

Shadow Taranza

mirror world!taranza (who would’ve guessed)

overly-loyal

like, ‘would unhesitatingly die for someone he cares about’ kind of loyal

nervous mess, even before Sectonia died. that only worsened things

he’s not okay

#there's a lot of old art here so #youre welcome for that i guess?? #idk i dont want to look at it either #Vesper's OCs #LONG POST #save #ref #maybe i'll update this one day #probably not #lmao theres actually a few that are missing because ive never posted anything about them here #or anywhere #i dont expect anyone to go through all of this because of how ridiculously long it is but Congrats if you do

[inloveandwords]

This post was inspired by Ally’s series (which was inspired by Lia at Lost in a Story).

I’ve decided in 2020 that I’m going to do this twice a month and double the number of books that I’m going through (so, I’ll be doing 20 books for the rest of the year, twice a month). I have way too many books on my Goodreads TBR and I need to fix that!

I’m also thinking about completely redoing my Goodreads shelves – stay tuned!

It works like this

Go to your Goodreads to-read shelf.

Order on ascending date added.

Take the first 5 or 10 books (I’m doing 20 because I have way too many on my list)

Read the synopsis of the books

Decide: keep it or should it go?

Lost and Found (Emi Lost & Found #1) by Lori L. Otto

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Independent and sensitive, idealistic and hopeful, Emi Hennigan lives her life with optimism and an open mind. Between sharing a tiny Manhattan apartment with her fun-loving roommate and spending most of her free time with her heart-breaker friend, Emi’s seen enough failed relationships to know what to avoid in her quest to find her true love. Not only that, but a single moment from her past lingers in her mind, setting high expectations for every man she dates.

Emi’s best friend, artist and hopeless romantic Nate Wilson, has been her closest companion all of their adult lives. After swearing off love with Emi in a silly high school pact, Nate has been seeing other women in hopes of finding one that evokes stronger feelings than the ones he’s been harboring for Emi since he was a teen. Over the span of a year, boundaries are crossed, feelings are confessed, and their unique friendship begins to blossom into something more.

Through Nate’s eyes, an atypical romance unfolds, disrupting the comfortable safe haven their friendship has provided. With a promising future ahead of them both, fate intervenes to bring two soul mates together.

Photography and cover design by Christi Allen Curtis, assisted by Katrina Boone

Date added to TBR: 12/19/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I don’t remember adding this?

Angels Watching Over Me (Angels Trilogy #1) by Lurlene McDaniel

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Happy Holidays! Bah humbug. “Happy” is not the way Leah Lewis-Hall would describe herself at the moment. She’s spending her twelve days of Christmas in an Indianapolis hospital, while her mother is thousands of miles away on a honeymoon with husband number five. Leah went to the doctor with nothing more than a broken finger, but he ordered her to undergo some tests. Now she’s stuck in the hospital, alone. Then Leah meets her hospital roommate, a young Amish girl named Rebekah, and her big family. Cynical sixteen-year-old Leah has never known people like this before. From Rebekah’s handsome brother, Ethan, who can barely look Leah in the eye, to her kind older sister, Charity, the Amish family captivates Leah with its simple, loving ways. When Leah receives frightening information about her condition, her new friends show her that miracles can happen. And that sometimes angels appear in the most unexpected places.

Date added to TBR: 12/19/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Super not interested in this one anymore

An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Katherine V thought boys were gross Katherine X just wanted to be friends Katherine XVIII dumped him in an e-mail K-19 broke his heart

When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type happens to be girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact.

On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has ten thousand dollars in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun–but no Katherines. Colin is on a mission to prove The Theorem of Underlying Katherine Predictability, which he hopes will predict the future of any relationship, avenge Dumpees everywhere, and finally win him the girl.

Love, friendship, and a dead Austro-Hungarian archduke add up to surprising and heart-changing conclusions in this ingeniously layered comic novel about reinventing oneself.

Date added to TBR: 12/21/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I’ve heard good things about this one and I’m still somewhat interested.

Odd Thomas (Odd Thomas #1) by Dean Koontz

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“The dead don’t talk. I don’t know why.” But they do try to communicate, with a short-order cook in a small desert town serving as their reluctant confidant. Odd Thomas thinks of himself as an ordinary guy, if possessed of a certain measure of talent at the Pico Mundo Grill and rapturously in love with the most beautiful girl in the world, Stormy Llewellyn.

Maybe he has a gift, maybe it’s a curse, Odd has never been sure, but he tries to do his best by the silent souls who seek him out. Sometimes they want justice, and Odd’s otherworldly tips to Pico Mundo’s sympathetic police chief, Wyatt Porter, can solve a crime. Occasionally they can prevent one. But this time it’s different.

A mysterious man comes to town with a voracious appetite, a filing cabinet stuffed with information on the world’s worst killers, and a pack of hyena-like shades following him wherever he goes. Who the man is and what he wants, not even Odd’s deceased informants can tell him. His most ominous clue is a page ripped from a day-by-day calendar for August 15.

Today is August 14.

In less than twenty-four hours, Pico Mundo will awaken to a day of catastrophe. As evil coils under the searing desert sun, Odd travels through the shifting prisms of his world, struggling to avert a looming cataclysm with the aid of his soul mate and an unlikely community of allies that includes the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll. His account of two shattering days when past and present, fate and destiny converge is the stuff of our worst nightmares, and a testament by which to live: sanely if not safely, with courage, humor, and a full heart that even in the darkness must persevere.

Date added to TBR: 12/21/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Why is this even on here?

The Red Notebook by Antoine Laurain, Jane Aitken, Emily Boyce

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Heroic bookseller Laurent Letellier comes across an abandoned handbag on a Parisian street. There’s nothing in the bag to indicate who it belongs to, although there’s all sorts of other things in it. Laurent feels a strong impulse to find the owner and tries to puzzle together who she might be from the contents of the bag. Especially a red notebook with her jottings, which really makes him want to meet her. Without even a name to go on, and only a few of her possessions to help him, how is he to find one woman in a city of millions?

The Red Notebook has already been sold in twelve different languages. French TV is making a film of The President’s Hat and the movie rights of The Red Notebook have been sold to UGC.

Antoine Laurain was born in Paris. He is the author of five novels, including The President’s Hat.

Date added to TBR: 12/21/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I don’t get it.

Hold Still by Nina LaCour

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

An arresting story about starting over after a friend’s suicide, from a breakthrough new voice in YA fiction.

dear caitlin, there are so many things that i want so badly to tell you but i just can’t.

Devastating, hopeful, hopeless, playful . . . in words and illustrations, Ingrid left behind a painful farewell in her journal for Caitlin. Now Caitlin is left alone, by loss and by choice, struggling to find renewed hope in the wake of her best friend’s suicide. With the help of family and newfound friends, Caitlin will encounter first love, broaden her horizons, and start to realize that true friendship didn’t die with Ingrid. And the journal which once seemed only to chronicle Ingrid’s descent into depression, becomes the tool by which Caitlin once again reaches out to all those who loved Ingrid—and Caitlin herself.

Date added to TBR: 12/23/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: The synopsis says this is devastating and I can’t…

Captive Prince (Captive Prince #1) by C.S. Pacat

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From global phenomenon C. S. Pacat comes the first in her critically acclaimed trilogy—with a bonus story.

Damen is a warrior hero to his people, and the rightful heir to the throne of Akielos. But when his half brother seizes power, Damen is captured, stripped of his identity, and sent to serve the prince of an enemy nation as a pleasure slave.

Beautiful, manipulative, and deadly, his new master, Prince Laurent, epitomizes the worst of the court at Vere. But in the lethal political web of the Veretian court, nothing is as it seems, and when Damen finds himself caught up in a play for the throne, he must work together with Laurent to survive and save his country.

For Damen, there is just one rule: never, ever reveal his true identity. Because the one man Damen needs is the one man who has more reason to hate him than anyone else…

Includes an exclusive extra story!

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I think this is pretty polarizing, but I’d like to read it to see what I think!

The Assassin and the Pirate Lord (Throne of Glass 0.1) by Sarah J. Maas

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A Throne of Glass novella.

On a remote island in a tropical sea, Celaena Sardothien, feared assassin, has come for retribution. She’s been sent by the Assassin’s Guild to collect on a debt they are owed by the Lord of the Pirates. But when Celaena learns that the agreed payment is not in money, but in slaves, her mission suddenly changes—and she will risk everything to right the wrong she’s been sent to bring about.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I think this is part of Assassin’s Blade

The Assassin and the Desert (Throne of Glass 0.3) by Sarah J. Maas

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The Silent Assassins of the Red Desert aren’t much for conversation, and Celaena Sardothien wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s not there to chatter, she’s there to hone her craft as the world’s most feared killer for hire. When the quiet is shattered by forces who want to destroy the Silent Assassins, Celaena must find a way to stop them, or she’ll be lucky to leave the desert alive.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

The Assassin and the Empire (Throne of Glass 0.5) by Sarah J. Maas

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Celaena Sardothien is the assassin with everything: a place to call her own, the love of handsome Sam, and, best of all, freedom. Yet, she won’t be truly free until she is far away from her old master, Arobynn Hamel; Celaena must take one last daring assignment that will liberate her forever. But having it all, means you have a lot to lose . . .

This fourth fantastic e-novella gives readers an inside look at the characters who appear in the full-length novel Throne of Glass. Don’t miss out!

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

The Assassin and the Underworld (Throne of Glass 0.4) by Sarah J. Maas

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When the King of the Assassins gives Celaena Sardothien a special assignment that will help fight slavery in the kingdom, she jumps at the chance to strike a blow against an evil practice. The mission is a dark and deadly affair which takes Celaena from the rooftops of the city to the bottom of the sewer–and she doesn’t like what she finds there.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

The Assassin and the Healer (Throne of Glass 0.2) by Sarah J. Maas

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Meet the Assassin: beautiful, defiant, destined for greatness. Celaena Sardothien has challenged her master. Now she must pay the price. Her journey to the Red Desert will be an arduous one, but it may change the fate of her cursed world forever…

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

A Court of Thorns and Roses eSampler (A Court of Thorns and Roses) by Sarah J. Maas

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Get a FREE sneak peek at the first four chapters of New York Times bestselling author Sarah J. Maas’ thrilling and seductive new series, which blends Beauty and the Beast with faerie lore.

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a beast-like creature arrives to demand retribution for it. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she only knows about from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not an animal, but Tamlin–one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled their world.

As she dwells on his estate, her feelings for Tamlin transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie and warning she’s been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But an ancient, wicked shadow over the faerie lands is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it . . . or doom Tamlin–and his world–forever.

Perfect for fans of Kristen Cashore and George R. R. Martin, this first book in a sexy and action-packed new series is impossible to put down!

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Clearly I went crazy adding SJM books and accidentally added this randomly.

Catwoman: Soulstealer (DC Icons #3) by Sarah J. Maas

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When the Bat’s away, the Cat will play. It’s time to see how many lives this cat really has. . . .

Two years after escaping Gotham City’s slums, Selina Kyle returns as the mysterious and wealthy Holly Vanderhees. She quickly discovers that with Batman off on a vital mission, Batwing is left to hold back the tide of notorious criminals. Gotham City is ripe for the taking.

Meanwhile, Luke Fox wants to prove he has what it takes to help people in his role as Batwing. He targets a new thief on the prowl who seems cleverer than most. She has teamed up with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, and together they are wreaking havoc. This Catwoman may be Batwing’s undoing.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf

Angels’ Blood (Guild Hunter #1) by Nalini Singh

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USA Today bestselling author Nalini Singh introduces a world of beauty and bloodlust, where angels hold sway over vampires…

Vampire hunter Elena Deveraux knows she’s the best—but she doesn’t know if she’s good enough for this job. Hired by the dangerously beautiful Archangel Raphael, a being so lethal that no mortal wants his attention, only one thing is clear—failure is not an option…even if the task is impossible.

Because this time, it’s not a wayward vamp she has to track. It’s an archangel gone bad.

The job will put Elena in the midst of a killing spree like no other…and pull her to the razor’s edge of passion. Even if the hunt doesn’t destroy her, succumbing to Raphael’s seductive touch just may. For when archangels play, mortals break…

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I’ve tried reading books by this author before and I wasn’t super interested.

Monstress, Vol. 1: Awakening (Monstress #1) by Marjorie M. Liu, Sana Takeda

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Set in an alternate matriarchal 1900’s Asia, in a richly imagined world of art deco-inflected steam punk, MONSTRESS tells the story of a teenage girl who is struggling to survive the trauma of war, and who shares a mysterious psychic link with a monster of tremendous power, a connection that will transform them both and make them the target of both human and otherworldly powers. Collects MONSTRESS #1-6

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This has actually made a comeback on my radar!

A Rogue by Any Other Name (The Rules of Scoundrels #1) by Sarah MacLean

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What a scoundrel wants, a scoundrel gets…

A decade ago, the Marquess of Bourne was cast from society with nothing but his title. Now a partner in London’s most exclusive gaming hell, the cold, ruthless Bourne will do whatever it takes to regain his inheritance—including marrying perfect, proper Lady Penelope Marbury.

A broken engagement and years of disappointing courtships have left Penelope with little interest in a quiet, comfortable marriage, and a longing for something more. How lucky that her new husband has access to such unexplored pleasures.

Bourne may be a prince of London’s underworld, but he vows to keep Penelope untouched by its wickedness—a challenge indeed as the lady discovers her own desires, and her willingness to wager anything for them… even her heart.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I very rarely read historical romance

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake (Love By Numbers #1) by Sarah MacLean

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

A lady does not smoke cheroot. She does not ride astride. She does not fence or attend duels. She does not fire a pistol, and she never gambles at a gentlemen’s club.

Lady Calpurnia Hartwell has always followed the rules, rules that have left her unmarried—and more than a little unsatisfied. And so she’s vowed to break the rules and live the life of pleasure she’s been missing.

But to dance every dance, to steal a midnight kiss—to do those things, Callie will need a willing partner. Someone who knows everything about rule-breaking. Someone like Gabriel St. John, the Marquess of Ralston—charming and devastatingly handsome, his wicked reputation matched only by his sinful smile.

If she’s not careful, she’ll break the most important rule of all—the one that says that pleasure-seekers should never fall hopelessly, desperately in love.

Date added to TBR: 12/26/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: “”

Mindfulness in Plain English by Henepola Gunaratana

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Since Mindfulness in Plain English was first published in 1994, it has become one of the bestselling — and most influential — books in the field of mindfulness. It’s easy to see why.

Author Bhante Gunaratana, a renowned meditation master, takes us step by step through the myths, realities, and benefits of meditation and the practice of mindfulness. The book showcases Bhante’s trademark clarity and wit, as he explores the tool of meditation, what it does, and how to make it work.

This expanded edition includes the complete text of its predecessor along with a new chapter on cultivating loving kindness, an especially important topic in today’s world. For anyone who is new to meditation, this is a great resource for learning how to live a more productive and peaceful life.

Date added to TBR: 12/28/16 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: I ended up unhauling this a while ago.

Immortal Beloved (Immortal Beloved #1) by Cate Tiernan

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Nastasya has spent the last century living as a spoiled, drugged-out party girl. She feels nothing and cares for no one. But when she witnesses her best friend, a Dark Immortal, torture a human, she realizes something’s got to change. She seeks refuge at a rehab for wayward immortals, where she meets the gorgeous, undeniably sexy Reyn, who seems inexplicably linked to her past.

Nastasya finally begins to deal with life, and even feels safe–until the night she learns that someone wants her dead.

Date added to TBR: 12/29/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is still on my bookshelf!

Bye-Bye Books: Decluttering my TBR #1 This post was inspired by Ally’s series (which was inspired by Lia at Lost in a Story…

#declutter

[thnksfrthrvw]

INTERVIEW - Pulled Apart By Horses #ICYMI008

Interview by Conah White

Garage rock top dogs Pulled Apart By Horses are back with a brilliant fourth studio album The Haze. Charting triumphantly at No.12 in the UK Albums Chart, it’s a different direction to what we’re normally used to...

James Brown [guitar]: “The process [for The Haze] felt similar to the first, it was pressure free, we had a lot to do what we wanted to do, we weren’t under any constraints from a label and we were taking a break from management for a little while, so we felt we could do whatever we wanted to do again, similar to the first time round. Tommy joined the band which instantly made things different.” Tom Hudson [vocals/guitar] “After auditioning like 465 different drummers…”

JB: “It was an absolute fucking nightmare haha. Tommy joined the band, we’ve known him for years and it’s exciting to have your friend join [your] band. We just got fully  behind writing and there was a flow, it felt different and new. It’s what shapes the character of The Haze.” TH: “Sometimes it would be having an idea at home then chucking it into the mix and everyone gets involved. Other times there wouldn’t even be an idea, it’d just come out of nowhere.”

Rob Lee [bass]: “I think this time round, with the first album that was very much focused on jamming together in a room and letting things develop and figure out what we’re doing as a band. We took that on board and just enjoyed playing in a room together and let it flow organically.” Tommy Davidson [drums]: “And it never felt like work.”

TH: “There’s nothing cooler than    having an idea or little spark and  fucking about and fleshing it out. Rob was recording demos, so we could chuck it down and listen back. Having that buzz, you don’t even know what it is, it just comes out of nowhere. It felt like every song had something to it.” RL: “With [2012’s] Tough Love and [2014’s] Blood, we’d work in chunks and be like that’s done let’s move on now”, [but] with this album it felt the songs were continually developing and playing them as a collection, rather than just stopping with something then moving on.”

The Haze is quite a change from what PABH usually do. The songs have become more constructed, going from pretty full on screaming to more striped back tones… RL: “It’s weird because, the character of Tom’s voice is a very defining aspect of the sound, and we don’t wanna lose touch with that. Then I started doing backing vocals to support him, and at the start I was just doing a bad impression of him, just copying what he’s doing just to reinforce it, especially in live situations. As we started developing, we started trying different things out, saying “you sing this”, and at this point I’ll sing something different, and work on harmonies and use your voice differently. Just wanting to experiment. It sort of comes full circle, maybe there’s a pressure of people saying to work on your vocals or change what you do, but you don’t want to lose touch with what you do. Maybe as we’ve progressed through the first three albums we were thinking too much, and in this one we just did what felt right.” TH: “I’ve definitely learnt how to play guitar properly over the years, or even just figuring out little bits here and there, like when we started I didn’t having a fucking clue.” RL: “It’s weird because when we started, you were a bass player and I played guitar. We learnt to love our instruments and not be frustrated.” TH: “You can still slay on guitar though haha.”

Besides maturing as songwriters, what else influenced the album?

JB: “Iggy Pop played a big part for all of us, listening to a lot of his older albums. David Bowie as well. With Tommy joining, as a collective I’d say that’s what we were listening to. You know, we get bored quickly and everyone listens to different stuff all the time and discover new things.  But you’re always going to share a love of older artist from like yesteryear…” TD: “There’s also quite a heavy garage rock influence on it too.”  TH: “Yeah, like new and old. I’ve been listening to a lot of 13th Floor Elevators, Back From The Grave...like old school garage rock compilations. Then loads of new shit like King Gizzard, and Thee Oh Sees and stuff like that.”  

So what would you say is your favourite track off the new album? JB: “I think ‘Flash Lads’ at the moment. It’s one we’ve been talking about a lot and thinking about putting out as a single. We were playing it live like last year, it was cool to see people react to a specific song and you do it a few shows in a row.”

RL: “Yeah, I think ‘Flash Lads’ is the one that sort of unifies us as a band. I really like ‘Lamping’ as well, it’s   something we’ve never really allowed ourselves to do something like that, I feel it’s still very much a horses song though.” TH: “When we started doing it, we didn’t really know if it’d fit the album but like, it feels good so let’s just go with it.” JB: “In the past we might of shied away from that. Again it’s about putting pressures on yourself and   external pressures. we weren’t really allowed to do a song like that, but this time around it sort of felt like we can do whatever we want really. And if it  feels right, Let’s put it on there, so I think ‘Lamping’ is an important track on the album.”  

You guys are on tour promoting the album too, anything in particular your looking forward too? TD: “Leeds is going to be a big one. But I’m looking forward to all the dates, it’s going to be great to get back out there.”

RL: “It’s gonna be great going back to Europe, it’s been awhile since we’ve done that and it’s always a total adventure isn’t it.”

JB: “It’s like the first time you get to do your own headline tour just after your new record has been released is  probably the best tour of the whole campaign, because it’s the first time you’re testing out new songs, and it’s your crowd that you’re playing to which is rad.”

TH: “There’s uncertainty as well, and it’s kind of nerve-wracking but in a good way. Like you don’t really know how it’s going to go or what’s going to happen.” JB “It's hard to describe other than it’s exciting to be back out and it always feels amazing. So yeah looking forward to the whole tour.” What’s the plan for the rest of this year? TH: “We got a few festivals in the summer, we’ve got a few announced and a few we’re writing in. We’re just going to be touring all year really.”

And lastly, are there any pointers you can give to bands starting out? JB: “I always say, just gig as much and as often as possible, because you’ll play to more people and you’ll get better at what you do.”

TH: “You throw enough shit at the wall, eventually something will stick.”

RL: “One of the important aspects of the writing process with us is we do a lot of recording, we’re demoing stuff and doing different versions of each song, and really getting into the demoing process.  I think for bands to do that, and really  think about what they’re doing before they go into a studio with it, is quite important.” TH: “Keep in control of everything. We started out as a DIY band and we still feel like we are in a sense because we have full control over who we want to record with, what we want to do like artwork. Just do as much as possible, or if not, find some mates that you can talk into it.” The Haze is out now via Amplify Recordings

This interview was taken from #ICYMI008, which is out now. Read it here!

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