#and i never realized until now that it's because of simon who is fucking hugely underrated as singers go

[xcziel]

i just randomly had the realization (while doing some mending, as you do) that one of the reasons jimin is my bias is because his unique voice shares qualities with the singer of my og favorite "boyband", simon lebon

they both possess that vocal "sob" and a slightly nasalized "growl" in the lower register - if you listen to say, Take the Dice (or anything off Seven and the Ragged Tiger) and then listen to Face Off you'll get an idea of what i mean

they are not at all alike otherwise - simon's voice is often strident and anthemic, not really ever delicate or breathy the way jimin sometimes is

but the jimin growls and low notes from early days bts aren't so far off - sparking off a recent discussion i saw somewhere: i think in his heyday simon *could* have covered Lie the way few might be able to

#bts #i am a SUCKER for the vocal 'sob' #and i never realized until now that it's because of simon who is fucking hugely underrated as singers go #simply because ... well how many people do you know who can cover duran duran songs? #blue moon on monday sounds totally wrong if you can't put the sob in your voice i'm sorry #like ... save a prayer is not *hard* it's just so goddamn unique - the percussion elements alone #thinking about the sneer in jimin's voice on 'all right i guess the blame is on me' and simon's in 'new religion' #... i need to look up duran reaction videos and also more face reactions #interestingly jimin as a dancer i feel has a much more r&b rhythmic sensibilty than simon - his innate musicality is insane #even though duran was literally produced by nile rodgers and john's bass work made the band's sound more 'funky' than you might imagine

[yandere-sins]

alright, hit us with sum yandere!ghost please! can't wait to see what you'll do with him, i always pictured him as a scary possessive when it comes to the person he loves considering his shit past so i look forward to see what you'll do

I think you are on the right path, my friend! Would have put him into the possessive category as well :D I made some random HCs, thank you for requesting, enjoy!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

♡ Ghost needs physical touch. It's not just a huge want or desire, it's how he assures himself that everything is okay and nothing is wrong. If he can't at least have the simplest form of touch by pushing his chest in your back as if he was docking onto you, he will get agitated and irritable, putting missions at risk as he loses the composure he's known for. He needs to have you close to keep his thoughts focused and his mind at ease. For Ghost, there's comfort in protecting you. Now that he finally has someone to protect, he goes to all the lengths to do so. If he has to leave you, he wants to have you near for as long as possible before he locks you away. It leads to a few interesting times where you are asked to stop being selfish and just appease him for the sake of putting him in a better mood. 

♡ The reason he needs to feel you so much is to reassure himself you're alive and well. He puts himself between you and the door at night to shield you in case there's an intruder, and he keeps you no farther than an arm's length from him for the very same reason. If you hate it, that's a problem, but maybe you can learn to live with it when you realize how tame he becomes if you allow him the pleasure. Let him show you how much he adores you, gently, calmly for once, since the moment you stop, he'll go back to being the hard, unyielding bastard you know. 

♡ Because he loves you in his lap or lying on top of him until you fall asleep. He loves pressing his fingers into your body as if you were a stress-relieve toy, though when you squirm, he'll use his nails to scrape at you as a warning, nipping away until you force yourself to calm down. Be good and face him if you want Ghost to spoil you with his attention. He's very willing to listen and give you what you ask for while you straddle his thighs, let him nuzzle his face against yours through the mask, and put on your sweetest voice to talk to him. He'll be pudding in your hands if you cup his face, even brush your fingertips under his mask, skimming them over his skin until you hear him practically purr, his chest rumbling against yours in delight. It's the only way you can convince him to comply with your every wish (unless they are unreasonable, like leaving you alone). You have to take your chances when you can and need him to hear you out and listen to what you need to tell him. After all, his time and attention are limited by his own need for you.

♡ He lets very few people near you, and only if he must, but sometimes, on big missions, it's necessary. You have to enjoy the small conversations you're allowed to have, even though he reminds you constantly that he's right there with you. His fingers ghosting over your wrists or the back of your neck, ready to grab you at all times, him taking off his gloves to comb through your hair or tugging your shirt back whenever you get a bit too excited in conversation and inch away from him. You'll probably never understand why no one tries to help you even though this isn't normal, but unfortunately, the people you are allowed to talk to have bonds with Ghost that are more important to them than whatever he's doing with you.

♡ However, if not for an emergency, if anyone reaches out towards you with questionable intentions, Ghost will snatch their hand, squeezing so hard they can feel their bones crumble in his grip while Simon reminds them to never fucking touch you. It doesn't matter who it is, friend or foe, he will go ballistic if they are after you. You are the one thing he sees red for, and no one wants to be on his bad side, not even you. Any outside interactions are ruined by such an outburst, but you wouldn't dare to argue with Simon about his behavior, knowing exactly how damaging his hands can be. You've been through it all in your rebellious stage and had the fractures to prove it. If he learns that you'd defend anyone else but yourself or Ghost, it won't end well for you and the person you're trying to help. It's better to appease him and stay on his good side, even for you. 

♡ He shares all his meals with you. You don't get your own plate. You get his plate. His fork, his spoon, but not his knife. Not because you would hurt yourself with it, no. He's just pretty sure that if you were to stab him, he'd be too excited to get his wounds treated and doesn't want an infection. So, instead, he cuts everything into mouth-sized portions for you. Kind, isn't he? The only good thing is that aside from force-feeding you if you refuse to eat at all, you can eat anything on his plate at the pace you want. He won't force you to have things you dislike (though usually, his meals are somewhat bland). Simon will, however, bump his shoulder into yours if you don't share with him, growing more and more demanding the longer you ignore him. He eats your leftovers, but he'd much rather have you feed him, moving his mask out of the way so you can put it in his mouth while he keeps your wrist steady because he knows you like to tease him (read as "stab him with the fork"). 

♡ Usually, Simon doesn't punish you. He puts you in your place and reminds you that running, hiding, or fooling him won't work. If you assure him you understand, he won't pursue any harmful punishments. He might force you to kiss him or get on his lap and be quiet now, but aside from his possessive grip on you, bad behavior won't have many repercussions. However, if you really need to be punished, hopefully, you are prepared to barely survive. He knows what is punishment and what is torture, but if you anger him too much, he won't see the fine line anymore, and he has the tools to break you if he must. Neither you nor he will be happy because of it, but it does make you think twice next time if you want to push him too far. At least he knows how to patch you up afterward, but it will still hurt so much, making you wish you were dead.

♡ You're no longer [your name]. You are an endearing, sickeningly sweet, and occasionally demeaning array of nicknames. You'll find Simon to be quite creative despite him also using the more socially accepted nicknames for you like Darling, Babe, Love, Hon, and Dear. Depending on his mood, he might also slide into teasingly inappropriate ones like Slut, Whore, Fun time person, and "Someone forgot their place again, hm?" If you displease him, he becomes less pleasant, every one of his names having the sharpness of a warning edged into them, a threatening rumble in his chest as he calls you out for misbehaving. Simon will, however, stare at you for a long time if you call him anything else but his name or Ghost. He just... stares, never responds. It tickles something in him, but he can't quite place it. Refrain from feeding into any complex he might have, though. Call him God (accidentally, jokingly, or fucked well) once, and you'll never hear the end of it for the rest of your life. He's your God, alright. Ghost will soak in that knowledge forever.

♡ His array of British and military nicknames has another surprise, mainly when he calls you some random weapon's name. When you ask him why he'd call you that, Simon explains how he shot someone straight in the head with the named gun. It reminded him of you. (Apparently, you have the same effect on him. You're killing him. Blow his mind. Looking at you is sending him to heaven. You get the drill, puns intended.) He'll never tire of calling you a bomb, and he even makes flirtatious jokes at times which are just too macabre to not chuckle awkwardly about them, especially when he tells them to you matter-of-factly. But hey, hearing you laugh positively makes his day and puts him in a great mood. He calls you out for collecting brownie points with him on purpose before he picks you up to get a reward for making you laugh, locking doors behind him so he can thoroughly enjoy you and create more lovely sounds from both your mouths.

#Simon Riley #Ghost #yandere ghost #yandere!ghost #ghost cod #call of duty #yandere call of duty #yandere!call of duty #yandere cod #yandere!cod #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere oneshots #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW

[capricious-soldes]

YR thoughts

when simon and wille are arguing about who is going to take the fall for the drugs, and they are in the music room and wille says "i'm in a fucked up situation and i'm trying to talk to you"...coming from a person (me) who loves to drag out an argument until it is resolved i LOVE that wille said that. this show is so good at making situations so close to reality because the reality /is/ is that no one likes an unresolved conflict. wille is surprisingly a very vocal and emotional character, despite growing up under the thumb of the monarchy. he cannot stand not being able to speak to and resolve things with the people he has issue with and im obsessed with it.

seeing all of the previews for S2, its amazing to see how quickly wille has grown up. even after erik's death, wille stays this naive little teenage boy that can only think of his immediate actions and not the consequences that come from them. but in S2, i see that wille has time to marinate in his emotions and his surroundings and it seems he can finally see how fucked up his life really is lol. like he /knows/ how deeply he loves simon and isnt afraid to show that, and now he can see past his own fear of upsetting his mother and everyone else, and he is willing to put his reputation on the line to be able to express his love for simon freely, and only a truly mature person can make huge life decisions like that. wille has sadly had to grow up so quickly, with his brother's death and his outing and being the crown prince, i think is S1 it didnt really hit him how much he didnt know. in S2 i so see wille taking agency and realizing that he is the master of his own fate, that his actions affect more than just him, and that he has to only think of his happiness - no one elses.

i hope that in S2, simon gets to feel cared for. so much in S1, it was /all/ about wille and how he was feeling and what he was doing wrong. wille never really thought to put his feelings aside to make sure simon isnt about to fall off the deep end because of everything. i hope that simon will be able to take care of himself before wille, and that wille realizes how much he hasnt been /there/ for simon and changes that, because love has to be proven, not just declared.

#young royals #young royals netflix #young royals season 2

[imaginemcyt]

sisterinnit!

cc!wilbur soot x tommy’s older sister

tw: language

note: this one uses specifically she/her pronouns, however, you can replace them with your pronouns. it won’t change the story at all. sorry that this is kinda shit but tumblr deleted my draft and i had to completely rewrite it so this is what i’ve got. hope you enjoy! <3

“y/n this is wilbur, wilbur this is y/n.” tommy gave the basic introductions with a bored look on his face.

“y/n simons, pleasure to meet you.”

“wilbur soot, the pleasure is all mine.”

as he shook your hand, you stared into each other’s eyes. he wore a small smile, that was almost a smirk. was it just you, or was there electricity when your hands touched? that had to be in your head, right? your gaze lingered on the other for perhaps a little too long before you let go of each other’s hands.

“now get out, y/n.” tommy pushed you towards the door.

•••

“y/n can you see wilbur out? i’m busy!”

wilbur looked at you with a smile, causing you to blush. you nodded and yelled back at your brother, “yeah!”

you led wilbur to the front door, opening it and stepping to the side. you looked at him to find he was already looking at you. he grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on your knuckles.

“it was nice meeting you, y/n.”

as you stuttered out a reply, he gave you that same almost-smirk and turned away, walking down your driveway.

•••

“what are you doing up?”

you jumped, not expecting to see someone in your kitchen at two am. then you remembered tommy had invited friends over.

“oh, it’s you. i… i can’t sleep. what are you still doing awake?”

you filled a glass up with water and began to drink it, putting it in the sink when you were done.

“tommy snores really loud.”

you both let out a light laugh at your younger brother’s expense.

“well, since we’re both awake, do you want to do something? we could watch friends? that’s all i was doing anyway.”

“that sounds great.”

you both made your way up the stairs and into your room. you sat on the bed and set up the laptop with the episode you were currently on. eventually you were laying down together watching joey do lunges in all of chandler’s clothes.

(like this ^^^)

you were about halfway through a second episode when tommy interrupted.

“what the hell are you guys doing?”

you both looked up at the tired gremlin child.

“watching friends.” wilbur gave him a cheeky smile.

•••

“hello?”

“oh! uh, hello…?”

“oh it’s you, wilbur!” you spoke over your brother’s headset while he was in the bathroom.

“y/n? hi! what are you doing?”

“well tommy’s in the toilet so i wanted to see who he was talking to. turns out it’s you!”

wilbur let out a chuckle. “it’s me!”

“GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM!”

“uh oh, gotta go!” you threw down the headset before running for your life.

•••

“y/n, hang out with us!”

you stopped at the doorway, looking back at the group of boys all sitting on the floor. jack manifold, tubbo, and wilbur all stared up at you.

“no, y/n, get out of my room.” tommy spoke from his spot on the bed.

“aww, why can’t she stay?”

“yeah, tommy, don’t be a dick, man.”

“y/n, stay!”

“no, y/n, leave.”

you looked nervous, being pulled in two different directions, before ultimately deciding that you had other things to do.

“sorry guys, i should probably go.”

a chorus of disappointed groans and “aww”s left the group before you waved and closed the door behind you.

you went back to your room, deciding to give your brother his space despite your loneliness and boredom. you knew you’d want the same from him.

you decided to mess around with your ukulele to pass the time. you played your favorite song, singing along quietly. it wasn’t long before a knock on the door made you stop.

“come in.”

the door opened and none other than wilbur soot popped his head in.

“hey.”

“hey. tommy asked me to tell you to shut up, but i think you sound lovely.”

you turned slightly pink. “oh, uh, thanks. tell tommy i’m sorry and i’ll keep it down.”

“no need, he’s a prick anyway.” he made his way to where you sat on the bed, taking a seat next to you.

“what are you playing?”

you smiled and told him about how it was your favorite song by your favorite artist and you loved how fun it was. he requested you play a little bit for him, so you did. when you were done, you started to talk about it a little more.

at least until you realized he wasn’t listening. he was staring at your lips, leaning in. you followed suit.

the door burst open, causing you two to spring apart.

“wilbur, what the hell is taking so long? and what are you two doing in here with the door closed?”

wilbur smiled at tommy. “playing music, of course.”

tommy gave a skeptical look, dragging wilbur out of the room with a “keep it down, y/n!”

wilbur stopped at the doorway. “by the way, i quite like hanging out with you, y/n.”

•••

“your hands are so tiny!”

“they are not,” you gasped. “your hands are just huge, probably because you’re a giant of a man.”

wilbur laughed. “put your hand up,” he instructed. he touched his to yours gently, showing off the size difference.

you both giggled before stopping and looking into each other’s eyes. he gave you a gentle smile and slipped his fingers in between yours, interlocking them and holding your hand in his larger one.

you looked back at him and smiled.

•••

you knocked on the door three times, and he answered not long after.

“y/n? what are you doing here?”

“tommy thinks he left his sweater here and asked if i could drop by and pick it up on my way home.”

“oh yeah, one second.”

he disappeared for a moment before returning, holding your brother’s red hoodie. “here you go,” he said with a smile.

“thank you. sorry to bother you.”

“it’s no trouble. can i walk you home?”

you felt yourself heating up and smiled. “if you’d like.”

he nodded and grabbed his jacket. then you both started off toward the simons residence. you almost made it before it started raining.

it was light rain at first, so you carried on. however, it got heavier by the second, and pretty soon it was pouring on you two.

wilbur took off his jacket and held it above your heads. “we’re almost there, run!”

the two of you ran the rest of the way, only stopping once you got to your porch. you looked at each other for a moment, catching your breath. then you started laughing. you were both soaked and standing there like idiots, laughing at yourselves.

your laughter soon died down, and then you were just smiling at each other. he reached over to you and brushed a wet piece of hair behind your ear, getting it out of your face.

you weren’t stupid. you knew the look he was giving you was a lovestruck gaze, but you decided to play dumb.

“what?”

then finally it happened. after months of flirting and mutual pining, he closed the gap and kissed you. with his right hand on your face he crashed his lips to yours (a/n: that sounds violent but it’s not meant to be lol), pulling you closer with his left. you wrapped your arms around him, hands tangling in his hair.

passion mingled with desperation and you kissed long after you were breathless. you didn’t part until you heard a loud yell of disgust.

you instantly sprang apart with swollen lips and red faces.

“are you fucking kidding me? that’s my sister, man!” tommy yelled, glaring at wilbur.

he then looked to you. “and you, kissing my best mate?!”

you stood there shocked for a moment before coming to your senses.

“uhhh, I wasn’t kissing, were you kissing?” you said, turning to wilbur and praying to god he caught on to your obvious lie.

“no, i wasn’t kissing.” he shook his head.

“neither was i! see, no kissing here.”

“i’m not stupid,” said tommy, voice low and angry as opposed to the shock and disgust from before. “i saw everything.”

he then turned and walked away from the door, leaving you two alone again.

a moment of awkward silence passed. “i should probably… you know.” you said, pointing to the house.

“oh yeah, no, definitely.” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“and look, i’m sorry if i ruined your friendship with tommy. i know you guys are close, and i hope he forgives you.”

he gave you a sad smile. “same here, love.” he then kissed your cheek and took off into the rain once more.

you went inside and tried fixing things with tommy, who refused to speak to you. after sitting outside his bedroom door for nearly an hour, you finally gave up and headed back into your room. you opened discord.

[your username]: tommy’s ignoring me. i’ve just sat outside his room for an hour and he refuses to talk to me.

WilburSoot: i’ll give it a go.

he did not speak to wilbur. tommy left him on read every time.

•••

tommy avoided you entirely for two weeks. he left the room if you walked in, and he wouldn’t speak to you at the dinner table. your mother was curious what was going on between you two, but neither of you would say anything about it.

finally, you’d had enough.

you asked your mother to call tommy out of his room, since he wouldn’t answer if you were to try. she did, just wanting you two to speak again. once he arrived in the living room, you jumped him. you grabbed him around the middle and threw him on the couch, planting yourself on top of him so he couldn’t run away. your mum left the room.

“hey, you asshole, get off of me!”

“no, tommy! enough is enough! you’re not leaving until you hear me out!”

“no, i don’t want to talk to you!”

“too bad because i’m not moving until you hear what i have to say! i don’t want us to keep avoiding each other like this.”

he went silent and thought about it for a moment, an angry and skeptical look on his face. “…fine. get it over with.”

you took a deep breath.

“tommy, you’re my little brother, and i love you. i’ll always love you, even when you hate me. just know that i never meant to hurt you or make you angry. however… you can’t tell me how to live my life, or who i can be with. i want to be with wilbur. i can’t help it, tommy, i love him. you can be happy for me or not, that’s your choice. but what isn’t your choice, is who i love.”

by the end of your speech, your voice was shaking and your eyes were watery. you got off of tommy and helped him sit up.

his face softened. “you… you love him?”

your tears ran down your cheeks. you nodded. “i do.”

tommy sighed before pulling you into a hug. it was rare for him to show affection, especially to you, but after everything that happened between the two of you, he felt it was important.

“i love you, y/n. you’re my sister, i could never hate you. i’m happy for you. but just know, best mate or not, i’ll castrate him if he makes you sad.”

you laughed, wiping away your tears.

“i should… probably speak with wilbur, yeah?”

you nodded. tommy stood and went back to his room. you followed not long after, and even though you knew it was frowned upon, you stopped to listen at his door.

“tommy, thank god you’re speaking to me. listen, man, i–”

“do you love her, wilbur?”

“what?”

“my sister. do you love her?”

“i– yeah. yeah, i do.”

“good. listen, all i want is for y/n to be happy. meaning if you make her cry, i’ll murder you.”

wilbur chuckled on the other line, making you smile.

“you won’t have to worry about that. i promise you i’ll take care of her.”

“just don’t make my sister cry and don’t be gross in front of me, alright big man?”

“you’ve got yourself a deal, tommyinnit.”

you smiled again before heading off in the direction of your room.

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot x y/n #wilbur mcyt #wilbur dsmp #wilbur dream smp #tommyinnit #tommyinnit x sibling reader #sisterinnit #dsmp x reader #x reader #dream smp #tommy dream smp #tommy dsmp

[connorandersons-blog]

Oooh…how about…

Connor/Markus in the key of Angst No. 10:

“How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?”

So this ended up longer than I meant it to be, but honestly I’m loving it. I’m so sorry to those that love Simon (I do too but I needed someone to be the “bad guy” ish) And don’t worry it has a happy ending! Enjoy!

_________

Markus was… stunning. That was an understatement of the century, but Connor didn’t have the right words to say just how magnificent the man was. Everything he did was truly wonderful, and Connor just loves to watch him.

The way his eyes fluttered underneath his lids as he kept his eyes closed while he painted, his hand holding the brush like it was an extension of himself. He bared his soul with each painting and whenever he’d play the piano. His fingers are always so sure of themselves, never missing a key or pressing the wrong note.

Connor loved to watch him as he spoke to people whether it be to the millions around the world or just someone who needed a friend. Both were always so thoughtful, and Markus puts his full attention into it.

Even when Markus was just sitting and reading, he did it perfectly. Connor was addicted to watching his hand as it flipped the delicate page to reveal the new words for Markus to soak in. The way his face would change as he read, from surprise to annoyance, to absolute joy. He was always so very expressive.

Connor adored him, saw how inspiring he was to others, to Connor too, and knew whoever could call him a friend or even lover would be incredibly lucky. It’s why he was so very shocked when Markus confessed his love for Connor.

The first thing Connor had said was why? Why him out of everyone he could choose from? Markus's answer had made him gasp in understanding. He had said ’it wasn’t a choice, but if I could I wouldn’t change a thing.’

After that, it was just… perfect. Markus was the perfect lover, so caring and understanding, he was incredibly patient and adoring. When they made love, it was mind-blowing and left both sated and exhausted. Connor clung to him after those moments, knowing it was just for him. He could cuddle against him, Markus’s hand on the small of his back as his fingers danced over his skin slightly. It made Connor shiver and press closer, smiling against Markus’s skin as he kissed wherever he could.

He never really let himself worry because Markus would never do anything to hurt him, not when they loved each other. Sometimes those thoughts would creep up, but then Markus would turn to smile at him, or their hands would brush together and it would all be ok.

Markus and he ended up living together, and it gave them more time together than before. It was absolutely wonderful, those moments together that he wanted more and more of. He wanted to spend his entire existence with him and now he was finally going to ask.

Marriage had been a low priority given everything else they needed to cover. It had taken years until they pushed for marriage, but now it was official. Androids could marry whoever they wanted, human or android.

Most people would expect Markus to be the one to propose, but Connor had wanted to. Markus was always initiating and now it was Connor’s turn. He held the banquet of red roses in one hand, the velvet box in his pocket feeling incredibly heavy.

He could do this; they’ve been together for so long and it was the next logical step. He just really hoped Markus would say yes.

He knew Markus didn’t have a meeting, it was lunch break for everyone in the building and Markus took this time to relax some. Everything should be perfect, but when he opened the door, it absolutely was not.

There was Markus, standing in front of his desk, but Connor couldn’t really see him because Simon was in front, and Connor knew what was happening. It felt like his life stopped, everything turning ice-cold frozen around him as his eyes widened.

He couldn’t breathe, everything was stuck, not even the tears seemed to be able to break free to run down his cheeks. He should have known; they were always so close, but Connor had trusted them. Simon was their friend, had encouraged them to get together, and seemed happy for them.

He dropped the flowers and ran, not knowing where he was going but he just… he just had to go. He had to disappear.

He heard someone calling his name, probably Markus but he wouldn’t stop. How could he?! Why would Markus do this, why would Simon? Why did he let himself believe he deserved anything different?

He could barely even see, and he let out a scream as arms wrapped around his middle and pulled him back. He flailed his arms and legs as his chest hit something warm and solid.

“Connor! It wasn’t what it looked like! Please, please just let me speak.” Markus said, his breath coming out fast against Connor’s neck.

“No!” He wouldn’t let Markus talk; he knew how well he could talk people into things and Connor knew what he saw. “Fuck off,” he snarled. He wouldn’t hurt Markus no matter how much Markus was hurting him, no matter how much he wanted him to feel that pain.

Markus held tighter and thankfully didn’t try to kiss over Connor’s neck like he usually did when he’d hold him from behind. “No, Connor. I’m not going to let you go until you agree to listen.”

Connor grit his teeth, the tears hot on his cheeks. “How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” He should have known better. It was all a lie, a very well-constructed one, he’d give him that. All those times Markus said leading kept him busy, was he really with Simon?

“I do, I love you more than anything. I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me.” Markus squeezed him tighter against his chest and Connor almost wanted to elbow him to be let go.

More than anything he wanted to believe him, but it was just so hard. “Fine. Talk.” He wished he didn’t love Markus so much, if he didn’t then he would never agree to listen.

Markus let out a sigh, loosening his grip but not letting go. “Simon came in and asked to talk. I had no reason to deny him, and so I said yes. He told me that he’s in love with me and then he kissed me. He had said he just wanted it once and I tried to deny him, I don’t want him, but he kissed me anyway. I pushed him off right after, but you walked in right as he did it.”

Connor panted; his vision still blurry but now from the tears that he couldn’t stop. He hated how much it made sense, but it was hard to believe Simon would do that. Why would he kiss Markus when he had said no? Maybe it was just a kiss to do it once and then move on. He hoped that was it, but it hurt so much to have seen.

“I can interface, I’ll show you if you don’t believe me. But Connor, I love you, I’d never cheat.” Markus lets him go fully and Connor staggers forward. He wraps his arms around himself, turning slowly to see Markus staring at him with tears streaked down his face too. He held out his hand, the skin having receded.

Connor hugged himself even tighter, staring at the offered hand. All those times he interfaced with Markus there was never one lie. He didn’t think androids could change memories with an interface but what if he did?

He reached out and clasped their hands together feeling that connection form between them that became so natural for them. The memories fill his mind, and he is so used to this that he doesn’t stop his own memories from flowing to Markus.

He watched as it played out just as Markus said, and he felt the devastation and pure panic that washed over him as he watched Connor run off. He felt everything and then he was back in his own mind, the interface cut off. He was… telling the truth?

“You were… you were coming to propose to me?” Markus whispered, staring at Connor with wide eyes. Oh, shit.

His hand went down to his pocket where the box still was. “I was.” It was hard to tell what his emotions were, all of them were so overwhelming and confusing.

Markus chokes back a sob, covering his mouth with his hand. “Darling, shit. I’m, I'm so sorry, I promise you I’d never do anything to hurt you. I’m so in love with you.”

He pulls the box out, rubbing his fingers against the black velvet. “I know that you do, I’m still just, I don’t know. This went all wrong.”

“I know, I know and I’m sorry. If you still wanted to ask, and you don’t have to, but if you asked, I’d say yes.”

Connor sucked in a breath, gaping at the words. Markus would say yes, he’d marry Connor if he asked. “I, I don’t know, but do you want to see it?”

“Yes! I’d love to, I’m sure it’s gorgeous.”

Connor held out the box, opening it carefully. The ring was simple walnut wood, a small inlaid line around the middle of glittering diamond flakes. He thought it was very pretty and would suit Markus well… if he accepted. If he had proposed.

Markus smiled so bright that Connor almost felt the need to look away. “It’s perfect. I’d be honored to wear it but I understand if you don’t want to anymore. I’ll wait forever for you, I’ll do anything, but if… if you don’t even want to be with me that’s ok too. I’ll respect whatever you decide.”

He would, Connor knew he would. That was just the way Markus was, so giving and loving. He’d agree to whatever Connor decided on without making it a huge mess. It’s part of why he loves him so much. Why he still wants to marry him.

“Yes,” he breathes out and he watches Markus’s face crumple before he realized what that sounded like. “Yes, I still want to marry you.”

Markus’s face quickly shifts to pure joy as he reaches forward and yanks him into a crushing hug. He almost drops the ring at the suddenness, but he wraps his arms around him too.

They are both crying now but no longer from sadness, instead it’s exciting and filled with so much happiness neither can contain it.

They pull back and Connor pulls the ring out of the box and slides it onto Markus’s awaiting finger. It looks perfect there and then they are kissing, pushing all their love through the interface they started without realizing. It’s not how Connor thought it would go but still, it happened, and Connor couldn’t ask for anything more.

#rk800 #connor #marcon #rk1000 fic #rk1k dbh #rk1k fic #dbh rk1000 #dbh rk1k #rk1k #rk1000 #markus dbh #markus rk200 #connor rk800 #dbh fandom #connor dbh #dbh fanfic #dbh #dbh connor #detroit markus #connor detroit become human #detroit become human connor #detroit: become human #dbh fanfic blog #fanfic #connor ask blog #dbh ask blog #dbh ask #answered ask #ask

[space-city-traffic]

yet again im back on my bullshit so... (gazes with mixed feelings at the TV show Firefly) i could fix him.

my extremely long thoughts about my Own Personal Good Version of Firefly (with plenty of spoilers for the show and the movie) under the cut:

things that are getting axed first thing no question:

out with the whole “let’s add in a thin veneer of Chinese cultural aesthetics out of context for ~flavor~” deal. just no.

instead, let’s hire some actors from a bunch of different cultures and work with them to figure out how their characters would bring those cultures into space with them!! and also hopefully bring some experiences with immigration/alienation/travel into it, since the Whole Core of Firefly is about how humanity always brings our doomed and silly and stubborn and unique warmth with us even into the cold void where nothing is familiar or homey in the slightest.

let’s respect our sex worker character shall we?

i do appreciate that Inara’s work as a companion is described as legitimate and well respected in the show. however please stop having your captain and hero call her a wh*re every five seconds against her clearly expressed wishes and portraying this as just a totally acceptable thing

let’s be more respectful of our characters of color and also have some more diversity, shall we?

others have put it better than me but yeah, the way Zoe and Book are treated is very uncomfy, and the rest of the show is depressingly monochromatic. come on let’s do better.

stop the weird confederacy hat tips

again others have pointed these out with much more thoroughness than I could, but the names of some characters and locations, as well as some of the language used to describe the browncoats, has uncomfortably confederate vibes. instead i propose we very Clearly tip our hats to the Alliance equaling space capitalism instead! you can’t go wrong with space capitalism as a villain.

don’t! make! the! psychotic! character! violent!

listen i love River Tam with my whole heart. but you should absolutely not portray your only character with psychosis as violent because of that psychosis!!!!!!! and yeah, a huge part of her character is that her brain got fucked up by the alliance and so she hallucinates and is also a super ninja. but like. she doesn’t need to be a super ninja for her character to work, okay? the crew does not need to be scared of her for her character to work, okay??? more on this later bc it would take a lot of care and nuance to make her character work but i really think it can be done

things we are absolutely keeping:

found family tropes my fucking beloved

this should be self evident. this is why the show is as appealing as it is despite its flaws, at least in my eyes.

malcolm reynolds, the knight in dusty armor

there’s something so appealing to me about what Mal stands for. because at his core is this ridiculous, silly, stubborn, doomed devotion to what he thinks is important and right, a romantic idealism thinly covered by cynical cowboy platitudes that he thinks make his bleeding heart totally invisible. and he is so obvious and entirely incorrect. bless. this is a man who will do anything for his family, who charges into swordfights to defend his friend from a man who wants to turn her into an object despite having no clue how to hold a sword. at his worst, he starts brawls in bars just for the martyr’s thrill of being persecuted for supporting the right; at his best, he inspires downright religious belief from his crew because he represents a romantic and chivalrous and doomed dedication to the right thing over any practical concerns. and then he throws a “selfish” quip over it with 100% confidence that everyone fell for his clever distraction and believes him to be a dirtbag. he’s oblivious and ridiculous and god he makes me want to be a better person because he’s just so goddamned sincere. stupid, but sincere. 10/10 himbo. <3

Mal and Inara ultraslowburn friends to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to friends to...

there’s nothing i love more than a ship that’s just two people who know each other way too well, and they’re each the only one who knows the other well enough to call them out on their bullshit. the way Mal and Inara interact in the show sometimes makes me uncomfy but like. the core of their relationship has to stay.

space western aesthetic

i need the cows on a spaceship scene to stay like i need air okay

that sweet sweet religious shit

mal, who lost his faith in gd and a whole lot else during the war. who lost his faith in himself, and now feels he has to hide the part of him that still wants to be good, because he knows he can’t be anymore, and he feels like it’s embarrassing for a guy like him to want something so unattainable. who takes a preacher on board, and the preacher has lost something, too. the preacher has his own past, and his own questions. but not questions like the observant neurodivergent girl, the one who wants to interact with and understand this thing that’s so important to him, but it just doesn’t click with how her brain works and she feels like something needs to be fixed, either the Bible or herself. and Mal takes care of them all, and slowly, he begins to find gd again, not in a prayer but in humanity. humanity doesn’t need to be fixed, like the alliance thinks. the shining imperfect strawberry sweetness of it in his family’s smiles is something to be worshiped and served and devoted to. and he finds he has something to believe in again. (and his crew find that he’s given them someone to believe in, too. and maybe suddenly he’s a saint.)

and finally, my brilliant ideas as to what i would like to add:

TRANS WOMAN KAYLEE RIGHTS

listen her femininity is so important to me okay? it’s so thrilled about everything that’s pretty, from dresses to the spaceship’s electric innards, and it’s so non-traditional and grease stained until it’s not and it’s pink and ruffly and twirly, and she never sees any of it as a contradiction, because none of it contradicts, it’s all just her! her gender is warmth and love and prettiness, feeling pretty and appreciating the pretty and making her friends’ days pretty too.

i want us to find out she’s trans in that episode with the ball, and i want us to find out alongside Mal who just never asked or never realized. Kaylee gasps and squeals at the dress in the shop window and Mal makes an off handed, ill considered comment, and then... someone yanks him aside and hisses a few very significant words in his ear. and suddenly he remembers what the blue white and pink she painted all over the engine room means, and he knows he has something to make right. so he buys her that dress himself and lets her know just how pretty she looks, and when he walks into that ball with her displayed on his arm like something precious, he looks the proudest out of any man there. and she notices. for a few seconds, of course, until there’s chocolate, and ‘nara, and a chandelier—and some horrible girls, but she’s used to that, until—suddenly, she finds her people. a group of old men who light up when she jokes about compression coils and whack presumptuous boys who ask her to dance. they adopt her as a treasured granddaughter, and Mal is beaming at her like a proud dad, and she finds that one of her new elderly friends gazes a little too long at her bracelet, and so she gives it to xem and teaches xem a few new words, and... it’s a good day, huh? it’s a really good day. (of course, then the captain has to go and punch somebody in the face, but it was a real nice party up until then.)

also she and Simon are both transhet t4t im correct and you know it

time for a better River Tam

the first thing we’ve established is that this version of her is not unpredictably violent and the crew is not scared of her!!!! it makes no sense to take a kid who’s primarily brilliant, experiment on her brain, give her telepathic powers....... and tack on the fact that she also has super strength and speed and dexterity and what not, AND say that they programmed her to be super violent. no! no. not only is that extremely harmful rep, that’s also just stupid.

instead!! my version of River is in fact not terrifying to the crew, but is actually the one they feel safest around. River has always been totally blunt, she was one of those kids you could tell realllllly early was autistic, and she doesn’t like being disengenous at all. so you can always trust her to tell the truth and not play weird passive aggressive games or have any hidden agenda, which makes her just a really chill person to be around. also, one of her longtime special interests is music and dance, so whether or not she’s nonverbal on a given day, there will always be some sort of beautiful sound when she’s around. she does have the singing voice of a dying crow unfortunately but that’s ok bc Simon’s is even worse and they’re both incredibly competitive so you’ll at least get free entertainment out of the affair.

my version of River does have psychosis and hallucinations because of the trauma of the experiments, and they are really troubling to her. she and Simon work together to find ways to cope and meds that help, and it’s a process, but there are some things that help.

the only thing she gained from the academy was the ability to hear people’s thoughts and sense the future a little bit. and yeah, that led to her picking up a few spooky secrets at the beginning, which, yikes. and for a while, it was hard to figure out which voices were real and which were hallucinations. but around her friends, she always feels safe to ask “did you just think about triple cheese burritos or was that just a me thing?”, and they’ll always tell her the truth no matter how embarrassing their thoughts are, bc it’s important to all of them to respect her and help her sort accurately through what’s reality and what’s not. and bit by bit, she gets better and better at figuring out what kinds of things tend to be telepathy and what kinds of things tend to be psychosis, and that each one feels a little different. and because of the trust and respect and support of her found family she’s able to do that in a safe environment!!!

trans man Simon rights

listen i wanted to keep him as just a side note on Kaylee’s list but he is my son and he’s important to my heart so here goes

out on the outer rim where Kaylee’s from, gender ain’t much of a big deal, there’s an individualistic quality to life out there, and so if the trail you blaze is the trail of a woman or a man or neither or both, that’s respected even in the rare cases where it’s not outright encouraged. but in the inner planets, where competition and connections and public faces and family names are everything, you have to be what’s expected of you to survive. you can’t change your brand, you can’t be anything other than what your family planned for you since before you were born, it’s incredibly hard to survive in such a hyper competitive environment, and so your very identity becomes just a tool in how to market yourself for better success.

needless to say Simon (just as autistic as his little sister and also very trans) fuckin hated it there. but he was very good at it. correction: he was very good at his very specific field of STEM, good enough to where people stopped talking about how cute he looked in bows and started talking about how impressive his work was from a very young age. and his work had no gender. he could be whatever he wanted to in equations. so that was where he could express himself, and gd, he got so much praise for it, he never wanted to stop.

not until he discovered that his sister needed him, and ran away, and needed a disguise, and realized... suddenly, every stifling rule and prying eye was a million miles away. he was freefloating, freefalling, with none of the charted paths he’d been following all his life... so you know what? fuck it. he’s always enjoyed the name Simon. and since it’s not on any legal records, it’ll make him just that much more untraceable.

and on Serenity, starting over with new people who never knew him before his transition feels like an unbelievable blessing that just dropped right into his lap. he has to keep up the secrecy, he has to make sure they never find out who he used to be, because gd, it’s so nice when they look at him and say his name right, and he doesn’t know if he can handle losing that, not when it’s so new and so important to the person he’s finally becoming. but then one day, the unthinkable happens, the wanted posters for his arrest have an old name on them, they’re looking for the Tam sisters, and... nothing changes. the crew of Serenity could not give even a tenth of a percent of a fuck, and it doesn’t seem like they even know they’re supposed to. huh. that’s new. Simon could get used to that, he thinks.

i’m sure there’s more i could add, but it’s 4:30 in the morning now, so if more occurs to me, ill simply add it in a reblog tomorrow. if you’ve read down this far, i am in love with you. please let me know your Better Firefly ideas, too, bc im always down to yell about this show!!!

#firefly #Serenity #in which i choke out joss whedon with my bare hands and rescue his characters and give them better homes #ollies fix it series #malcolm reynolds #ollies personal good firefly canon

[bleulone]

i love your analysis so much! i have a question as well, like, how do you envision polin's sex scenes ? thanks for your answer (:

    Hey! Thank you very much :)) I have no idea if they are that even good but I’m happy you like them. It’s just my brain tending to produce some iNsIGhiTfUL analyses though they usually end up drowned under a huge wave of stupidity and horrid spelling/grammatical mistakes XD. So, about Penelope and Colin’ sex scenes, I guess we’re getting spicy in this house 🌶. I mean, I don’t blame you. Who’s not hot for Polin ?! The steamy Polin hours have already begun and they’re legit challenging my patience. (Be still my Polin heart, be still).

   Okay, without further ado, let’s talk about sex baby, shall we ? It’s a pretty long answer/meta so bear with me.

    I don’t know if you’ve read Romancing Mister Bridgerton, but a quick reminder (for those who haven’t... yet), there are a bunch of iconic steamy scenes that I’m dying to watch on screen. First we have the famous “thank you” scene where Penelope, now a 28 year-old spinster, asks Colin to kiss her because she doesn’t want to die without having been kissed... then ends up thanking him— which happens to be humiliating for our 33 year-old boy because he thinks that she thinks he did it out of pity while he absolutely did not. The man definitely felt butterflies in his stomach... and in other places as well lol. We also have the ICONIC carriage scene where Colin gives Pen’s generous bosoms™ the attention they deserve. This is followed by his proposal. Later on, after the announcement of their engagement, there’s a pretty hot make-out scene on Lady Violet’s sofa. Finally, we have their first time in Colin’s bedroom, after sneaking out of their own engagement party... which leads Colin to push the wedding date forward. At this point, I just love their horniness, especially Colin’s who’s just so freaking amazed by Penelope for more than 300 pages straight (duh! who isn’t ???).

    When you say envision, I suppose you mainly refer to the way those scenes will be filmed right ? I’m afraid I don’t have an advanced knowledge in film-making but let me start by telling you what elements need to be depicted. I would love Shonda and Chris to capture the real essence of our boos’ feelings : the yearning, the love, the respect and the guilt (specifically on Colin’s side) in their eyes. The more we move forward throughout the seasons, the more we see different layers of the perceptions of they have of each other, going from a childish idealization/immature ignorance to a sudden realization. A mature one. Penelope goes beyond the facade of the charming devil-may-care guy to meet the seriousness and temper of her significant other. Meanwhile Colin discovers how confident, powerful and attractive this woman is and always has been. It echoes what I’ve written about the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story in this meta. By the time season 4 hits, man... their heart eyes and eye-fucking will jump OUT XD, all fibers of their beings, burning with need. The fact that this evolution took literally years is very emotionally painful, which is why I find it important to keep the slowness aspect of their relationship before and during their love making. I’m really looking forward a slow build-up toward their intimacy. It would differ from Daphne and Simon who merely shared one hell of a kiss in Lady Trowbridge’s garden then shared their sexy times after they married or Anthony and Siena’s rough sex... In fact, there’s a certain (sweet) ardent tenderness in Polin I like due to the fact that they’re slowly (re)discovering each other, as adults. Since they were both introduced in season 1, the audience will have all the time in the world to notice numerous evidences of the many natures of love they have for one another : from an affectionate and friendly love to a more carnal and enduring one.

    Okay so, in terms of filming, with Netflix’s Bridgerton being a show which promotes the female gaze, it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise watching those sex scenes being shot from Penelope’s perspective, like it was the case with Daphne in the first installment of the series. Most of the time, sex scenes in Historical Romance are not gratuitous. Their presence serve an important purpose in a hero/heroine’s journey. In Penelope’s case, they’re here to help her learn to embrace and love herself. In other words, sexuality is synonym of freedom. I don’t know if they’ll show a lot of skin, but I won’t be complaining considering the fact that we’ll have the chance to get a chief kiss treat on screen : a plus size woman in a major successful Netflix period drama getting a love story as romantic and steamy as other more “fit” female characters. No, your weight doesn’t prevent you from being desirable at all. As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t watched a plus-size female character portrayed as an attractive protagonist in a period drama (please if you have, let me know, I can be wrong). Having a beautiful half bare curvy body like Nicola’s being equally filmed like numerous slim actresses will be so inspiring and powerful to watch, especially for (young) women who struggle, like Penelope, to love their body shape which, to them, doesn’t “fit” the “beauty standards”. By showing her female gaze and portraying her as seductive, Pen’s “supposed” imperfections transform themselves into mighty assets, loved and worshipped by our dashing Mister Bridgerton. That’s body positivity at its finest darling ;).

    It will be deliciously erotic watching the undressing process being exquisitely slow, garment by garment, while their gaze are all heated and hungry. Their sex/make-out scenes should be tender and passionate, sweet and raw. The lightning, colored by a dark blood orange yellow or a blue depending the locations^^. Moreover, the depiction of the exploration of Penelope’s desire can translate itself thanks to multiple close ups. For instance, I can imagine a few ones on Pen’s fingers gently roaming over the smooth skin of Colin’s firm chest and back/touching his hair right after he removed his shirt. And a disheveled Colin letting his hands and lips making a journey of their own, mapping, conquering the alluring unknown territory that is her gorgeous voluptuous body... kissing her on the places he knows oh too well will give her pleasure (is this me wanting him to go down on her?— um yeah I sure hope it IS! If he doesn’t, trust me imma riot... AGAIN). Even a close up on her face while Colin is performing his addictively pleasing torment will be a marvelous proof of the female gaze. By the way, why not even adding a post-coital scene after their first time ? I can picture Penelope waking up first and contemplate her handsome soon-to-be husband. She’d bring her hand to his face and let it travel all around his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his neck and let it rest on his heart— making sure that what she’s just experience was real... obviously, Colin will wake up in the process and he’ll take this as his cue to go for another round of sexy times under the sheets.

   Showing Pen reaction is essential according to me because she was stuck with the idea that she would never experience the luxury of being loved, giving pleasure nor receiving it... she ended up being happily wrong. Throughout her multiple intimate encounters with Colin, I want her to progressively realizes that she can be an active partner. In the carriage, she knew she had an effect on him, but it’s not until their first time that she actually realizes it. Hence the reason why I WANT the mirror’s introduction in one of their sex scenes. Here’s as a little reminder an excerpt from chapter 18 :

“I want to see you sitting up," he groaned, "so I can see them full and lovely and large [about Pen’s breasts]. And then I want to crawl behind you and cup you." His lips found her ear and his voice dropped to a whisper. "And I want to do it in front of a mirror."

“Now?” she squeaked.

He seemed to consider that for a moment, then shook his head. "Later," he said, and then repeated it in a rather resolute tone. "Later.”

   It would be such a shame if the show doesn’t use the incredible potential of this object (/kink). I mean, the symbolism is pretty clear. Penelope has always fled her “ugly” reflection but it seems like Colin wants to show the real her, the beauty that holds every single inch her alabaster skin and the effects they have on him. Thus, I would love to watch a scene where Colin just praises the alluring goddess and siren that is Penelope Featherington. Just imagine! Just IMAGINE the power of this scene : a shirtless Colin sitting behind her on a bed, meeting her gaze in the mirror, his lips touching her right ear, biting and licking the lobe sometimes, whispering all kinda of dirty yet poetic words to her while letting his hands caress her thighs, her hips, her arms, her lovely bosoms™... oof. At the same time, a wonderful and harmonic instrumental music will play in the background and match the melodic partition of shudders, breathes and moans let out by our lovers. I can imagine Luke inspiring himself from his performance in the 2019 short film, Youth In Bed. The way he conveyed the awe and the yearning on his face, in his eyes with his mouth slightly open when he knelt before his partner Shun Yin was just captivating and— and so Colin! I cannot help but bring myself to picture Ethan, the character he played in YIB, in a Polin steamy scene. I cannot unsee this anymore jsksk. I mean, all this gifset radiates this book4chapter18!Colin, you cannot tell me otherwise!

    Also, I would love Shonda and Chris to keep Pen and Colin’s cute/emotional pillow talk. One thing I really love in JQ’s books is the concern she gives to her male protagonists about potentially hurting their partner during the act of penetration. Colin is a rake, and what his experience with women taught him is that he needs to be very gentle with the love of his life. It was so adorable seeing him not wanting to harm her and asking her to tell him if he does anything she doesn’t like 🥺. Plus, before actually doing it, Colin and Penelope shared a few kisses and just laid down side by side, confessing their love. Though our boy kept feeling guilty about not returning her love after all these years. He desires nothing but to make up for the lost time and show his love and desire during this special intimate moment. I hope they’ll keep all of chapter 18’s dialogue. It’s just so telling of our boos’ feelings, you see.

    All in all, I can’t wait to watch those Polin steamy scenes. As much as I may sound crazy, I want them after two other seasons of pure pining and yearning in order to have a very good payoff. I’m not an expert on depicting intimacy on screen, but I loved so far what Lizzy Talbot, the intimacy coordinator who worked on the show, have done in season 1. Sex scenes in Bridgerton seem very real and dive you in the intimacy of the moment, leaving you all flustered and hot. So probs to her! I have faith in her work and have no doubts about what her and the directors will serve us in future seasons. Though, in the end, I think it’s mostly up to the actors, Nicola and Luke, to see if they’re comfortable filming sex scenes.

    If you guys have any suggestions or wishes for those steamy polin scenes, please do share them :) by commenting on this post or by sending me asks! I’d love reading your thoughts/take on this very important matter ;)) 

#bleulone answers #meta and gush #polin #colin x penelope #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #polin meta #ask #anon #luke newton #julia quinn #nicola coughlan

[giorno-plays-piano]

Come play with me

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, home invasion, allusion to stalking and non-con.

Words: 1987.

Summary: Having to deal with Bucky Barnes, a talented head engineer who you have to convince cooperating with your boss, you suddenly discover his psychopathic tendencies. Worse, he has taken an eerie interest in you.

_______________________

“Listen, dear, I know what he asks for seems like something very inappropriate, but, in fact, the guy just likes you and-”

“No, Mr. Simons, he doesn’t just like me.” You snapped, bringing the cellphone closer your face. “This madman asked me to be at his disposal any time he wants. Please, don’t try to convince me it’s okay because this is madness.”

“I know, I know, he sounds like a psycho, but he’s not. Mr. Barnes is just... difficult. He needs to work on his communicational skills, he admitted it himself during our meeting today.” Your boss - or rather your ex-boss - was almost pleading you to listen to him, but you had enough of this nonsense. Nothing could change your mind after yesterday’s humiliating encounter with James Buchanan Barnes, the head engineer of HYDRA Corp.

“Sir, I have already submitted the resignation form. I perfectly understand the position you are in, but I’m not going to become a toy of this psychopatic man-child.” You answered firmly, looking at your lovely blue clock on the wall and knowing it was too late for any work calls. “Goodbye, Mr. Simons. Have a nice evening.”

Before he tried saying anything else to make you change your decision, you had turned your phone off and put it on your desk, sighing. You could never imagined one day you would face a situation like that.

Yes, when your boss got a promotion, you were truly happy for him. It also meant that you, his secretary, would now get a different type of tasks since you worked more like his personal assistant rather than someone who simply answered the phone calls and built his schedule. A raise was also quite nice. What you didn’t expect was having issues with Bucky, the genius the whole corporation knew about. He was that very same man HYDRA owed its success to as his innovative approach made the company widely known in the whole world for its - his - active protection systems. Barnes was now working on the brand new weapon system control, but he had never submitted sufficient reports, and, apparently, the previous executive left exactly because of Bucky and his wild temperament.

Despite the fact that he was a legendary figure, you had never met him or dealt with him directly. And since now Barnes became your boss’ pain, he became yours, too.

First, it was impossible to set a meeting with him directly. Mr. Simons wanted to take care of this issue himself and emailed Bucky multiple times, but always got the same dry answer that Barnes is too busy. Of course, he never answered any calls - until it was you calling him. Oddly, he was eager to talk to you. It took you just two calls to organize an online meeting for your boss, and, finally, yesterday you got to see the mysterious genius with your own eyes.

He was nothing like you expected. He wasn’t some skinny geek wearing glasses on his long nose, but a beefy man, his shoulders twice wider than your boss’. Barnes had dirty disheveled hair and a three-days beard, but, aside from that, he looked more like a star athlete rather than a nerdy engineer. He dressed in a pretty weird fashion, wearing tight t-shirts, leather pants, chains and heavy studded boots, but criticizing his style wasn’t a part of your job. You needed the reports he refused to submit and get him to attend the meetings.

Of course, he blamed everything on too many bureaucratic procedures and lack of time for anything but his new project. Even while speaking to the two of you he was pacing back and force in his laboratory, fetching this and that, fiddling with something that looked like a futuristic gun from one of Scott Ridley’s movies, his table full of screws and nails, markers, dirty papers, and metal parts of something you couldn’t recognize. Now you could see the true technological genius everyone was talking about.

However, you weren’t satisfied with the lack of information he was willing to give about his project. Barnes had a ridiculous amount of privileges, able to order whatever supplies he needed without anyone’s approval and working in a total secrecy, but HYDRA’s board of directors was growing tired of his reticence and temper tantrums Barnes was throwing every time someone tried to uncover his secrets. The career of your boss was at stake, and you needed Bucky to cooperate. You doubted the company would be willing to get rid of its most valuable employee, but the board of directors could easily limit his access to many of his beloved projects and make his life much more difficult.

Discussing the endless possibilities of what could happen if Barnes still refused to cooperate, you realized he wasn’t worried even the slightest bit. But he agreed to submit the reports if 1) he would get the team of engineers he picked by himself to help him with his project, regardless of whether they are involved with other things 2) he would get you “at his disposal any time he wanted”. Of course, at first you thought it was some kind of weird joke. Who in a right state of mind would ask for anything like this? You tried to laugh it off along with your boss, who was as shocked as you.

Then you figured out Barnes was dead serious. He wanted you.

Of course, you weren’t having it. Maybe your boss career was at stake, but it was his business, not yours. If the only thing he could offer you was being Barnes’ toy for the sake of the corporation, you would prefer to leave your place and find a position somewhere else.

How could he even suggest submitting to that psycho? Who did he think you were? A doll? A disposable Barbie or something? Even thinking of that was making you furious.

Sighing, you dropped your phone on the table and went to the kitchen to have a glass of wine. Despite the fact that you had already submitted the resignation form, you still needed to keep working before Mr. Simons would find a new secretary. It meant you would hear him pleading you to stay every day, and it wasn’t going to be nice. This damn Barnes made your life insufferable with just a couple of sentences.

Of course, you weren’t going to keep calling Bucky or trying to talk to some sense into him. Fuck that. Barnes was totally mad, and you weren’t having more of his bullshit.

Suddenly, the lights went out, and you stilled, growing in frustration. What the hell? You had to carefully put an empty glass back on the counter and move to your room again to take the phone. Glancing out of the window, you saw that it was just your apartment while others had light in them. Oh, perfect.

“Why do I pay for all this new technology that never works?” You growled in frustration, rooting around to find your phone.

“That’s a good question. To be honest, I wouldn’t.”

You froze. Somebody was in your room. Turning around quickly, you had finally found your phone and touched the screen - the subtle blue glowing lit Barnes’ gloomy face, and for a few seconds he narrowed his eyes as your phone blinded him.

Fuck.

“What are you doing here?” You whispered in terror, stepping away from him and visibly shaking. God, how did he get through the security system? You had just installed a pretty expensive one, made by...

By HYDRA Corp.

“You see, your security system has so many drawbacks I hacked it even without a proper preparation. You have to consider switching to something more solid.” He said calmly as he made a step towards you. In the darkness of the room he looked even more intimidating with his long dark hair hanging on his eyes, his huge figure looming over you as you ended up being pressed to the wall. “You know, since you were so enthusiastic in the beginning, I expected you to act... more professional.”

You didn’t know what to say. You were trapped between the wall and Barnes’ body as you stared into his face, terrified to the core. What was he doing here? Did he break into your home just because you refused him? Was he damn insane?

Oh yes. Yes, Barnes was.

“You know, we can have so much fun together if you just leave your pathetic boss and come play with me.” He tilted his head to the side, letting his disheveled hair fall on his broad shoulder and taking away the phone from your hand. “You’re a smart girl, aren’t you? I know how much you’re doing while Simons pretends it’s all him. Aren’t you tired of it?”

Well, it was true. Your boss had finally offered you a promotion after you would take care of Barnes issue, so you didn’t complain, waiting for your chance. It was all over now.

“And what do you suggest?” You asked, knowing you needed to somehow get away from this psycho and run to the door.

“Take care of me instead of him.”

You clenched your teeth as Barnes got closer, almost touching the tip of your nose with his, his icy blue eyes fixated on you. You felt the strong smell of cigarettes coming from him and winced from this unwanted intimacy. Barnes was too close to let you get away.

“What do you mean? I don’t think you need a secretary.” You played innocent, not looking him into eyes and staring at something on your right. Now your eyes almost adjusted to the darkness surrounding you.

“I can get you a better position, baby. A project manager, huh? You will ensure me and my team do things right.” His hot breath was burning your skin as Bucky nuzzled against your cheek, making you squirm. “You’ll be the one overseeing the development of a new system, and I get to have you close all the time. Besides, your paycheck gonna be way bigger. Isn’t it nice?”

“I don’t think I have sufficient skills for this job.” You mumbled meekly, squeezing your eyes shut when he put his hand on your shoulder gently. “The Corporation won’t allow me to take this position.”

There was a smug grin on his face. “Oh dear, you’re perfect for the job, I know it. And don’t you worry about the Board of Directors, I can be quite... persuasive.” As he smiled at you, you were ready to cry in front of him, so frightened and almost hysterical.

“What do you want from me, Barnes?” You pleaded in distress, tired and scared of the game he was playing with you.

He took your arm in his and made you move to the bed, forcing you to sit down while he hovered over you, brushing his long hair out of his face and tucking one of his locks behind the ear. Then Barnes cupped your chin with his hand, making you look directly at him.

“Come play with me, baby.” He cooed gently at you, wiping away a tear running down your cheek. “I want you close. Come to me. Talk to me. Have fun with me. I’m not asking much, am I?”

“We’ve only met yesterday. Why-”

You heard him chuckling and got silent immediately. You didn’t like that creepy smile on his face. Why did he look like you were wrong? You knew for sure you didn’t meet him before - who could possibly forget someone like Bucky Barnes - but his smile was telling you that he knew you from somewhere before your yesterday’s encounter. Where else could he meet you? You had no idea.

“It’s alright, dear. You’ll have enough time to know me better.” Barnes whispered, rubbing your chin with his thumb and closing the distance between the two of you. “We’re gonna have lots of fun together.”

______________

Tags: @finleyjayne​ @alexakeyloveloki​   ​@helenaeisenhower​ @villanellevi​ @hurricanerin​ ​@void-hoechlin​ @abyssaint​ @heeeyitskay​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ @navegandoaciegas​ @rosalynshields​ @brattycherubwrites​ @sllooney​ @angrythingstarlight​ @iheartsebastianstan​ @soleil-dor​ @iheartsebastianstan​

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes #winter soldier #yandere

[seducing-a-vampire]

ON BEING HONEST AND WHY I THINK SIMON WILL BE THE FIRST TO SAY “I LOVE YOU”

Two things sparked this meta:

Baz yelling “you’re so beautiful” to Simon, but Simon not hearing it— the moment that lives rent-free in my head 24/7

Rainbow’s recent Fall for the Book interview, when she said that she thinks that Baz is “settling for Simon” in Wayward Son

Here’s something we all know: our guys really suck at saying nice things out loud to each other. For two people are constantly thinking nauseatingly sweet and loving things about each other, they almost never actually verbalize them. 

I ended up going through a lot of quotes and tracking some of the nice things that they actually do say to each other, and I’ll offer some very  r a m b l i n g  thoughts on what I think Simon and Baz’s respective paths indicate for AWTWB. 

I was interested in the intersection of when Simon and Baz are being honest to each other (aka saying some of the nice things that they’re always thinking) with when Simon and Baz are being honest about themselves (aka self-acceptance).

TL;DR, my prediction for their path through honesty is:

Simon’s self-acceptance (which starts at the end of WS)

Simon’s honesty to Baz re: love

Baz’s honesty to Simon re: love

Baz’s self acceptance

**Below the cut because it got super long, yikes**

Phase 1: Simon being nice/honest in CO

The first nice-ish interaction between Simon and Baz in Carry On is when Simon follows Baz up to the Mage’s office, and they find Baz’s baby photo:

“Here,” [Simon] says softly, holding it out to me. “I’m… sorry.” (204)

Simon tones down his initial hostility in this scene after he sees the photo. This moment, along with Natasha’s visitation, catalyzes a real change in how Simon views Baz, and it’s indicative of the larger shift (vulnerability → Simon seeing Baz as more than his enemy → Baz wearing jeans → oops I love him). This trajectory continues during their truce-- there are still a few moments of hostility, but honestly on the whole, Simon is pretty nice to Baz:

“You don’t want to hurt me,” I say, trying to push him back. “Isn’t that right? I’m sorry. Look at me, I’m sorry.” (210)

“I’ll help you,” he says (217)

“Baz,” I yell. “No! You’re flammable!” (238)

All of this culminates in the kisses in the forest, and Simon says a few more nice and affirming things around that point:

“They say your soul dies.”   “That’s tosh,” he says. (300)

“You’re not a monster,” I say. His face is cold as a corpse in my hand. “I was wrong. All those years. You’re a bully. And a snob. And a complete arsehold. But you’re not one of them.” (339)

“I won’t,” I say. I’ve never turned my back on you. And I’m not starting now.” (340)

Something that stood out to me after reviewing these moments is that Simon’s shift from enemies to lovers is actually pretty linear. As he learns more about Baz during their truce and they grow closer, Simon hates Baz less and consequently says nicer things to him, until he ultimately realizes he doesn’t hate Baz at all, so he kisses him and asks him to be his boyfriend. Weirdly logical behavior for someone so thick. Simon is being pretty open and honest, and this makes sense because Simon understands himself pretty well at this point. His big crisis of character comes in the next book. 

The thing is, at this point in Carry On, Baz has not said a single nice thing to Simon. The closest you could get is when he asks Simon to come to his house for Christmas, which is a great moment but is quickly muddled by their ensuing fight. 

(awesome thoughts about that moment here)

Baz has acted nicely, but he has remained sarcastic and aloof even after Simon kisses him. 

We get a few compliments of Simon’s power:

“You have to stop doing that.”  

“What?”

“Godlike displays of magic.” (348)

“You’re the most powerful magician alive-- who’s ever lived, probably.” (355)

I won’t repeat @super-duper-twelve’s brilliant meta on this, but this category of compliment is not ultimately that useful for their general communication.

Simon keeps pushing, despite the cold walls Baz tries to put up, and he asks Baz to be his “terrible boyfriend.” Honestly, it astounds me how much confidence Simon must’ve had to just shoot his shot there, because Baz was not giving him a ton of reason to think he’d go for it. Me as simon would’ve definitely been like: ok cool, nice kiss, he definitely still hates me though.

Phase 2: Baz being nice/honest

I want to be clear: it’s perfectly understandable why Baz, a flawed fictional character, is not nice to Simon. His trajectory from enemies to lovers is completely different, because he’s spent years loving Simon while acting like his enemy. He’s had great practice at that, and it’s the most relatable thing ever that he is afraid of getting hurt when he’s believed Simon to be an impossible dream for so long. This is also understandable when viewed through the lens of self-acceptance because huge facets of Baz’s identity are constantly being covered up and ignored by himself or by the people close to him (vampire, gay). He knows himself, sure, but he’s a very long way from self-acceptance.

Anyway, Baz does actually agree to be Simon’s boyfriend, and we get a couple of honest Nice Things that they say to each other during that brief period.

Unfortunately, this mutual honesty/niceness is incredibly short lived, because everything changes quickly after this: Humdrum, Mage, Ebb, etc. Simon’s world falls apart, and Baz is there to comfort him, affirm him, and (finally) be honest and nice. Their whole dynamic turns on its head. 

“You did it, didn’t you?” Baz whispers. “You defeated the Humdrum. You saved the day, you courageous fuck. You absolute nightmare.” (491)

“It’s going to be okay… it’s all right, love.” (492)

“You were the centre of my universe,” I say. “Everything else spun around you.” (506)

“Looking at you was like looking directly into the sun.” (507)

“You’re still Simon Snow. You’re still the hero of this story--” (507)

“It was brave. It was brave and selfless and clever. That’s who you are, Simon. And I’m not going to get bored with you.” (507)

“I choose you,” I say. “Simon Snow, I choose you.” (508)

To summarize and possibly oversimplify:

Up until the night of the Mage and Ebb’s death, Simon was the one pushing forward, being honest, and looking to break down the boundaries and walls between them. 

After that point, Baz finally feels ready to be all in with Simon, and Simon retreats inward. 

Phase 3: Wayward Son

We see this dynamic play out in Wayward Son, with almost no change throughout the whole book. Right from the very first chapter, Simon is thinking:

“Everything that happened with the Mage and the Hum-drum just made Baz more of who he was meant to be… He proved himself as a man and a magician. He proved himself right: The Mage really was evil! And I really was a fraud—’the worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen,’ just like Baz used to say. He was right about me all along. “ (8)

I think it’s really notable that Simon can use his boyfriend’s words to justify his own worst self-doubts and self-loathings, because it indicates the consequences of them spending way more time insulting each other than ever being honest and affirming.

In Wayward Son, tender and honest moments between Simon and Baz are few and far between and mostly in the form of post-battle kisses. The only real communication that we see between them comes in flashbacks, wherein we see how much Simon has pulled back from Baz (the descriptions of his reaction to physical intimacy being one example of this). 

Even when Baz says nice things to Simon and affirms him, Simon’s presumed depression largely keeps him from believing and internalizing those things (through no real fault of either person. Again, very understandable ways for both of these flawed characters with traumatic pasts to behave!!!!!). Baz yells, “you’re so beautiful” to Simon, and he doesn’t even hear him (a gutting moment that I consider indicative of the general dynamic between them throughout the book).

Now, we get to Rainbow’s comments about Baz “settling for Simon.” I feel this. Simon is pushing Baz away and giving Baz basically nothing, and that is not a healthy dynamic. Baz is going through his own crap and self-doubt and self-acceptance, and Simon is not there for him apart from fits of jealous rage. As we learned in Carry On, it takes a lot for Baz to even feel remotely comfortable expressing his feelings for Simon, and with many months lacking that, it starts to wilt. 

What’s next: Prologue and AWTWB

Of course, the moment of truest communication in the second book comes at the very end:

“Why can’t you just admit that you’d be happier here?” “Why can’t you see that I wouldn't be happier anywhere without you?” (353)

I think the key to understanding what might come after this agonizing moment lies with Simon’s thoughts as he sits alone on the beach.

Before Baz arrives, Simon’s not thinking about his boyfriend. He’s thinking about himself. He’s contemplating his role in the World of Mage’s (hello, synopsis for AWTWB), and he’s taking a good, long look in the mirror. He’s starting to be honest about himself and accept himself (not perfectly, and I think this imperfect acceptance is reflected in his expressed desire to get rid of his wings, but he’s getting there). 

When Simon talks about Baz staying in America and being happy, Simon is not closing himself up and pushing Baz away, which he had done for so long and which caused so much miscommunication up to this point. Rather, this is a moment of true honesty on Simon’s part. 

Baz does need to learn more about himself and his vampirism. Simon recognizes this about Baz, just as Simon is trying to understand himself, too. In this moment, Simon is being true and vulnerable and speaking from a place of love. Baz refuses to self-reflect honestly and understand the truth in what Simon is saying, instead clinging to his love for Simon (without actually verbalizing that love). Throughout WS, Baz makes very stunted progress (see: his floral clothing as symbolism, being able to retract his fangs, meeting other vampires and learning about immortality and all that fun stuff), but in the end he doesn’t let himself actually think about that in any real way. Despite what Simon says, Baz has not yet “become more of who he was meant to be.” 

Importantly, this is in the “Prologue,” the beginning of the next phase in their healing and their relationship. As the balance shifts, this could be the beginning of real communication, but Simon needs to take the next step. At the end of WS, Baz is the one holding back. Baz isn’t able to accept himself honestly, so he won’t be able to fully let Simon in, either. 

Until Simon says “I love you,” they won’t get anywhere in their relationship. Simon needs to say it first, he needs to be vulnerable and honest in a way that he hasn’t been since before the Mage’s death, and Baz needs to understand those feelings in order to fully express his own. Then, I see Simon’s fully expressed love and support as a catalyst for Baz’s final self-acceptance. 

I think Simon will be unable to fully express his love for Baz until he has understood and accepted himself. However, Baz will continue to prioritize Simon/love over his own self-acceptance until either (A) Simon and Baz break up, or (B) Baz finally has confidence and security in their relationship because Simon has broken down the barriers of honesty and said “I love you.” Simon needing to say “I love you” first also gets at the idea of Simon needing to become someone that Baz deserves (per Rainbow’s words). 

So, I predict this as their path through honesty:

Simon’s self-acceptance (which starts at the end of WS)

Simon’s honesty to Baz re: love

Baz’s honesty to Simon re: love

Baz’s self acceptance

And then they will live happily ever after. The end.

*** Please let me know what you think and if this makes any sense!! ***

#carry on meta #wayward son #simon snow meta #carry on #awtwb #awtwb predictions #snowbaz #my nonsense

[ladyfogg]

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Fic Summary: Max is wound up. Between his company and investors hounding him left and right, he’s got no time for anything that isn’t work. Until you pay him a little visit to his office one day and remind him who’s really in charge. 

Fic Rating: NC-17

Pairing: sub!Max Lord/dom!Female Reader

Warnings: Mild WW84 spoilers, sub/dom, oral, fingering, office sex, slight edging, praise kink, absolute filth. 18+. 

A/N: Look, I have no reasoning for this fic other than pure fantasy. I loved the movie and so yeah, I had to write this because it wouldn’t get out of my head. So enjoy. 

Max’s body was filled with tension. Things had been escalating but not the way he wanted and the stress of it was getting to him. He could sense it in every joint and muscle. His shoulders were drawn up so tight they practically touched his ears. Reminding himself to lower them, he flashed his dazzling smile as he entered Black Gold Cooperative with the confidence of a man who had everything he wanted.

“Hold my calls, Raquel. I am not to be disturbed!” he ordered to his lone receptionist who looked like she was about to tell him something he knew for a fact he didn’t want to hear. There was something big he needed to work on and he wanted a few precious moments to himself before the world hounded him further. 

“Mr. Lord, your son—”

That stopped him in his tracks and he whipped his head around to look at her. “Alistair? What’s wrong? Is he hurt?”

“No. But it’s supposed to be your weekend with him and his mother called to say he won’t be coming.”

The storm of emotions in Max which were already swirling kicked up another notch. “Why not?”

Raquel gave a helpless shrug, her huge shoulder pads flopping from the movement. “I don’t know. She didn’t say.”

Anger mixed with relief as Max continued his trek up to his office. On one hand, who the hell did his ex-wife think she was keeping him from seeing his son? He had every right to see Alistair, especially on the weekends when he had custody. She and her damn boyfriend thought they’re so much better than him. They thought they could do anything they wanted. 

On the other hand, not having Alistair meant his son couldn’t see how badly his father had fucked up. There was no money coming in. As many claims as he had, his business had yet to strike oil anywhere and it was becoming increasingly apparent that they wouldn’t anytime soon. With bills past due and investors banging on his door, he had to come up with a way to turn things around. Simon Stagg had begun hounding him with phone calls and Max could only dodge them for so long. 

What he needed was time. Just a little more time. He was close though, so fucking close to making his and everyone else’s wishes come true. 

The minute he walked into his office, he tugged on his tie and let his mask slip. Panic and anxiety were his constant state of mind nowadays.  “Think, think, think,” he muttered to himself, leaning on the desk for support.

You watched him from the couch in his office, where you had been lounging for the better part of an hour. He hadn’t seen you when he walked in, which you knew meant he was far too preoccupied for his own well-being. 

“Rough day?”

Max spun around at the sound of your voice, eyes filled with panic until he realized it was you. That tension in his body lessened, but only slightly. He said your name with a tightness to his voice, “I didn’t know you were here.”

“Well, I couldn’t exactly announce myself to your receptionist, now could I?” you asked, examining your freshly painted nails. “That was the deal, wasn’t it? That I be decreet whenever I’m around.”

“My home, not my place of work,” Max said, crossing the room to close the doors to his office. “I never said you could come here.”

“What else am I supposed to do? You don’t call. You don’t write. I’m beginning to think you’re avoiding me.”

You’re teasing him of course. But only a little. In truth, you missed Max. Not that you would ever tell him so. The fact of the matter was, the two of you had an arrangement and it had been several weeks since he had reached out to you. Naturally, this concerned you, and since your day was fairly empty, you figured it was the perfect opportunity to visit your favorite client. 

“I’m busy, you know,” he said hotly, his firm business-man mask back in place. “Running this company takes everything that I have and I don’t have time to waste. You have no idea what kind of pressure I’m under.”

In one fluid movement, you stood and made your way over to him. “Of course I do. That’s why you hired me in the first place, sugar. Because all the pressure was just too much. You needed some help. You needed a release. Isn’t that right?”

You could see it in his eyes. He needed you now more than ever but there was something holding him back. With your body being so close, however, his resolve slipped and that dazzling car salesman personality he carefully projected to everyone broke down for a tiny moment. 

“I can’t pay,” he admitted in a low voice before swallowing thickly as you stepped further into his space. 

You reached up to stroke his cheek, long nails gently grazing his skin. A shudder ran through him and your own excitement jumped at the reaction. “Oh, baby. I don’t do this for the money,” you whispered, your breath ghosting across his lips. 

Without warning, you grabbed his chin and yanked him forward, your mouth outright touching his. And yet, you didn’t let him kiss you even though he leaned in for it, his body automatically seeking the release it knew only you could provide. 

“I do this because you need me to. Isn’t that right, Maxwell?”

You were the only person allowed to use his full name and you only did so under very specific circumstances. That tension you noticed in his body all but melted away as he leaned against you, earnest in his physical need even though mentally he struggled. 

He swallowed thickly, eyes not daring to leave yours. “I...uh…” He cleared his throat. “Wha-what, um...what can I give you in exchange?”

“Let’s just say that you’ll owe me one,” you said, taking a step back to put some distance between the two of you. 

His eyes tracked every movement, following your hands as you reached up to undo the buttons of the large trench coat you wore. Slowly, you worked each button until you were able to open the coat. You let it hang from your shoulders, giving him an exceptional view. When he saw you were completely naked underneath, he whimpered, his hands reaching for you until he remembered his place and caught himself. You allowed the coat to fall to the ground, leaving you standing there in nothing but a pair of knee-high boots. 

“Now, Maxwell,” you said in a low, firm voice. One you had used on him many times in the past. “Tell me what you want, what you wish?”

His answer was quick. “You. I want you.”

“Be specific. Come on, Maxwell. You know this game. You know the rules.” You sat on his desk, crossing your legs as you waited patiently for him to give in. “What. Do. You. Want?”

“To let go,” he said automatically. “To make you happy. Make you feel good.”

“And?”

“To submit.”

“Good boy.” You beckoned him forward with a crook of your finger. “Come here.”

As soon as he was close enough, you yanked him towards you by his tie, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding him flush against your body. The kiss was biting and harsh, more claiming than anything else. He moaned and opened his mouth, letting your tongue push past those lovely lips of his. One hand slid into his hair and yanked on the blond locks, while the other worked to undo his tie the rest of the way. 

Kissing Max awakened something in you that you never felt with other clients. You couldn’t explain it, nor did you really want to. You were sure it meant there were deeper feelings there than you cared to admit. He wasn’t the only one who needed this, you needed it too. 

You abruptly pushed him and he stumbled backwards, already panting. “You’re going to be a good boy, right?” you asked, sitting up on the desk so your back arched and your breasts presented themselves to him. 

You watched his eyes go to them briefly and he let out a quiet whimper. “Yes. Yes, I’m going to be a good boy,” he said. 

“Good. Sit in your chair.”

He moved quickly, coming around the other side of the desk to sit in the chair behind you. Once he was seated, you swung your body around, letting your legs fall open on either side of him. His pupils were already blown wide with desire and his heavy breathing increased the second he saw all of you, glistening and ready for more. 

“You’re going to use that wonderful mouth of yours,” you instructed, throwing your leg over his shoulder to draw him closer. The wheels of the chair squeaked as he rolled forward. “And you’re not going to stop until I come. Understood?”

“Yes.”

“You like that idea, don’t you? You like the thought of eating me out on your desk until I come on your mouth.”

You leaned back on your hands, casually moving your other leg up to drape over his other shoulder. The action brought him closer and yet he had been a good boy and hadn’t touched you yet. Even though you knew he was dying to. You could see it written all over his face. 

“Yes, yes, I do. Please. Can I? Let me make you feel good.”

“Always such pretty words, Maxwell.” You reached out to grab his hair again, yanking his head back so he was forced to look you in the eye and nowhere else. “Put your money where your mouth is, handsome. We’re going to be here a while.” 

Then you shoved him between your legs. 

The results were instant. Heat shot through your body like an unchecked wildfire the second his tongue connected with your aching folds. You felt his moan this time, the vibrations causing you to suck in a deep breath. Max wrapped his arms around your thighs, burying himself as far in as he could. His tongue was everywhere, lapping at your folds with rapid determination to taste as much of you as he could. 

You were soaked in seconds, not just from his spit but from the way he tasted you. It was like he was starved for the taste and couldn’t get enough. There was one tiny problem though. 

It had been way too long since your last session. He was rusty, out of practice. Not in his technique. No. That was always flawless and on point. His eagerness to be the best translated into a wonderfully intense oral experience unmatched by anyone else you had ever been with. But he was doing what he wanted to do, not what he knew you wanted. 

Your hand still in his hair, you pulled him back just enough so his mouth left your slickness. “Maxwell, that’s not how I like it.”

“Sorry. I’m so sorry. I just…” He glanced back down at you and groaned. “You taste so good.”

“I know I do. And you know what I want. Are you going to give it to me?”

He nodded eagerly. 

You let him go and this time when his mouth touched you, he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked. Unable to stop yourself, you moaned, throwing your head back as he greedily devoured you. Once he drew that first sound out of you, he did everything he could to make it happen again. He really did have an exquisite mouth. You couldn’t help admire it every time you watched him on those commercials. He wasn’t the only public figure on your client list but he was the one that occupied your thoughts more often than not. Knowing what it could do to you got you going more times than you could count. 

Your body grew hotter, skin growing dewy with sweat as the seconds slowly ticked by. He was still fully clothed and you couldn’t wait to change that, to watch him strip out of that damn suit so you could get your hands on his markable skin. 

Yeah, you were going to leave marks this time. Marks where no one else could see them. Marks only the two of you would know about so he could remember exactly who was in charge. 

It took you a second to realize he was saying something. 

“What was that, baby?” you cooed, stroking his hair as you began to roll your hips against his mouth. 

He moaned before answering, losing himself in your movements. “Can-Can I use my fingers?” he asked. “Please, I just want to make you feel good.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that.” You tried to keep your voice steady, but you were panting too, wound up and ready for more. “And you asked so nicely. Go ahead.”

His fingers were thick and wonderful. Just one was enough to take your breath away as he pushed it into your heat, his mouth dropping back to your clit the second you gave him permission. Unable to hold yourself up anymore, you fell onto your back, stretching your arms above your head to grasp the edge of the desk. 

Max groaned into your flesh, adding a second digit almost instantly. You were so worked up and loose for him that it slid in without issue. Your body greedily clung to him, keeping him in place as your orgasm began to build. 

“So good, you’re doing so good,” you praised, letting your eyes drift close to enjoy the pleasure. 

Your thighs clung to him, keeping him exactly where you wanted him. Not that he planned to move anytime soon. He was a good boy and you could tell by the way his movements sped up that he was finally back in the right place, the right mindset. His thoughts were only focused on you and getting you off. You thought about rewarding him when you came.

It took time to built but once it did, there was no stopping the onslaught of pleasure. One moment you were shaking and rocking against his face, the next your orgasm was ripped from you by his sly tongue and thick fingers. You moaned loudly, body locked into place as the waves of pleasure consumed you. So rarely did you lose yourself during your sessions. But this time, you couldn’t help it. It had been too damn long. 

He kept going, tasting and stroking until you reached out to stroke his hair. “You did good,” you told him, lowering your legs so they hung limply off the desk. “So, so good. You can rest.”

Max drew back in his chair, panting. When you pried your eyes open, you were greeted by the most delicious disheveled sight of him you had ever seen. His normally put together hair was wild from your hands, his face was red, and his mouth and chin were covered in your slick. His eyes were still glued to you, not daring or even wanting to look away. 

You couldn’t help but think back to the first time you do had been together, how nervous and unsure he had been, not about the sex but about letting you have all the control. To see him so willing to give it to you only made you want him more. 

Yeah, he deserved a treat. 

You pushed yourself up to sit before sliding off the desk and onto his lap. He looked at you with wide, surprised eyes. You could tell he wanted to question the change but didn’t dare. 

“You did so well, baby,” you said, wrapping one arm around his neck. With your thumb, you spread your slick across his lips and he obediently opens his mouth to suck the digit dry. “As a treat, I’m going to give you a little something special. Would you like that?”

“Yes. Yes, please.” He nodded excitedly, tentatively reaching up to stroke your thigh. 

You let him, savoring the roughness of his hand through such a gentle action. He was gentler than you thought he would be, not that you minded. It was actually very refreshing. You never had to remind him to be careful because he always was with you. Unless you told him otherwise. 

With a smirk, you slid off his lap and onto your knees, spinning the chair in the process to give yourself more space. You could see the understanding flicker in his eyes. His chest moved quicker with excitement and he sat up expectedly. Hurriedly, he yanked off his suspenders. He then seemed to realize his haste and froze, eyes wide with uncertainty and anxiety that he may have overstepped. 

You tut disapprovingly and take his hands, slamming them onto the armrests. “Don’t touch or move unless I say, understood?”

He nodded rapidly, body relaxing again once he knew he wasn’t in trouble. “Yes. Yes, I understand.”

Like the good boy that he was, his hands gripped the armrests of the chair, stopping himself from acting out again. Instead, he was forced to just sit there and watch as you hooked your fingers into his waistband. You nodded your head for him to lift his hips which he did immediately so you can slide his pants down his hips. His cock sprang free, swollen red with arousal and need. 

He was rock hard when you slipped your hand around him. Even still, his cock twitched under your touch and you swiped the bead of precum off the end with your thumb. 

“What do you wish, Maxwell?” you asked, stroking him with lazy, languid strokes. “I’m down on my knees in front of you, ready to give you something special. What do you wish?”

“I want your mouth,” he said immediately. “That fucking sinful mouth around my cock.”

“Sinful?” You stroked him harder, earning another string of swears for your efforts. “You think my mouth is sinful?”

He nodded, his hair falling into his face as his tongue darted out to wet his own lips. “Yes. God yes. Please.”

“Since you’ve been such a good boy…”

With aching slowness, you took him into your mouth. He gripped the armrests tighter and you could feel the muscles in his thighs tense as he stopped himself from thrusting up into the warmth. There was too much of him to take it all but damn if you didn’t want to. He was so needy and eager to please you, you wanted to devour him whole. Wanted to claim all of him for yourself. 

The thickness and hardness against your tongue made your loins throb. 

Soon, you told yourself as you began to suck him off. Soon.

What you couldn’t fit in your mouth, you stroked with your hand, falling into a steady but slow rhythm of bobbing your head up and down. Max was beside himself. He couldn’t help but shift and move in his seat, moaning each time the head of his cock bumped the back of your throat. You glanced up at him and were rewarded by the wonderful sight of him with his head thrown back, top teeth digging into his lower lip as his body shook with the effort it took to contain himself. 

Already you could feel him leaking into your mouth. When was the last time he came? Had he even taken care of himself over the last few weeks? You were starting to doubt that he had. That didn’t matter though. You were there now. 

“You look so delicious like this, Maxwell,” you told him when you pulled your mouth off his cock. Still jerking him off, you dropped your mouth to his thigh, sucking and biting the flesh until there was a deep red mark left behind. “But, there’s a tiny rule I forgot to mention.”

You glanced up at him as his head fell forward to look down at you. 

“You can’t come yet.”

After that, you lost yourself in the task of sucking him off, bringing him right to the edge before backing down. He was lost in the sensations, his knuckles so white on the armrests that you thought he might break them. 

Despite your teasing, you weren’t cruel. There was a difference between pleasure and pain and you didn’t go down on him for long. After all, this was about you too and you wanted more than that. When you finally pulled off him, he was coated in your saliva and so hard that his face was pinched in pain. 

“Please, please,” he babbled, finally losing himself and reaching for you. “I can’t hold back anymore. I need more. Please, I’ll be so good for you. You’ll see. I’ll make it worth your while. Let me touch you. Let me feel you.”

“Do you want to fuck me, Maxwell?” you purred, curling onto his lap again and allowing his arms to come around you. You slid your own around his neck. “Do you want to come?” 

“Please, god, I need it.” When you got off his lap to stand, he whined and reached for you. “No, wait! Come back!”

“Don’t worry, Maxwell, I’m not going anywhere.” You hopped back onto his desk. “Strip and come here.”

You didn’t need to tell him twice. His tie and shirt were yanked off and tossed somewhere to be forgotten. As he moved to stand, he kicked out of his shoes and pants, stumbling a little in the process. Once he was finally naked, however, you reached for him and drew him into a kiss. 

He was too far gone to stop himself from touching you. One hand cupped your cheek while the other fell to your lower back, holding you in place so you couldn’t escape him again. You were gone too. Not so far that you didn’t remember the game anymore, but damn close. You let your hands roam his back, nails leaving angry red trails as you scraped them down his hot flesh. 

His mouth was relentless against yours. He finally came  back to himself when he grabbed your thighs and went to wrap them around his waist. It was only then that he paused and drew back, forehead resting against yours as he gasped for breath. 

“Can I—?”

“Do it.”

He pushed into you with one fluid thrust that took your breath away. Despite the rush, he held himself there for a second. He always did. His eyes drifted close and there was a soft growl that came from the back of his throat, as he savored the feeling of your walls clenching around his length. After that, he took you hard and fast against the desk, so damn deep inside you that you couldn’t think straight. The room was filled with the sounds of your heavy breathing and the desk rocking against the floor. Items spilled from the surface left and right but neither of you paid them any attention. 

“So good, Maxwell. So good. Such a good boy!” you panted, letting go of him to grip the edge of the desk. 

“You feel so good,” he groaned, burying his face in your neck. “So hot and tight.”

Your body was literal flame. Honestly, you wouldn’t have been surprised if you self-combusted right then and there. It would be so fucking worth it too. No one filled you the way that Max did. No one brought out that feral side of you as much as him. You two were made for each other. Separate you were whole but together you became something else entirely. And you knew he felt it as much as you did. It didn’t matter how stressed he was, how far down the rabbit hole of anxiety he was, when you were there, he would lose it all and let go, let someone else take the reins for a brief moment in time. 

You bit and scratched at him, leaving mark after mark and not caring where anymore. Let them see. Let everyone see. Let them know that you were the one to reduce the great Maxwell Lord to a shuddering, babbling mess. 

“Fuck, oh shit,” he groaned, still pumping into you at a stunningly harsh and rapid pace. “So good to me. Always know when I need you. You can have anything you want. Anything at all. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.” 

“That’s it, baby, just let it go.” Your own voice cracked as your second orgasm built alarmingly fast. It was all too much. Too intense to hold back anymore. “Let it all go for me.”

“I’m not going to last much longer,” Max declared. “I’m sorry but I need to come. God, I need to come. Where…?”

You wrapped your arms around him again, biting at his neck. “Inside. Come inside.”

That was the last thing you remembered before he hit that wonderfully deep spot inside you and stars exploded before your eyes. You called his name when you came, locked tight around his body even as he kept pumping himself into you. Even then he stayed such a good boy, letting you come for a second time before he finally came himself. 

He spilled everything inside of you, fucking his way through his own release even as you went limp in his arms. He kept moving, kept going even when he was spent. It was only when you stroked his hair and whispered, “Max?” that he slowed down and eventually stopped. 

Holding each other tightly, you both tried to catch your breath while you came down from your ridiculous high. Eventually, you dropped your legs from his sweaty waist so he could slide out of you. Before you had a second to think, however, he had gathered you in his arms and carried you over to the couch. He laid you down first, staring at you with a small smile as you lay spread out underneath him. 

“Feel better?” you asked, cocking your eyebrow. 

His smile turned into a grin and he leaned down to kiss you. “Much.”

You laid that way for some time, his warm body and comfortable weight on top of you as you shared a series of slow kisses. It wasn’t until your breathing finally returned to normal that you broke away to stroke his cheek. 

“Don’t wait so long again,” you told him, voice back to its normal register. 

“I didn’t mean to,” he said. “Things are…” He stopped himself. 

“I know.”

You kissed him again before he pulled away to lay his head on your chest. His hand came up, drawing lazy circles around your breast with no intention of going further, just touching you for the sake of touching you.  He wasn't even close to being tense anymore. In fact, you didn't think you had ever seen him so relaxed. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. 

“I’m close to getting this all sorted out,” he said, voice tinged with a determination you had never heard before. “I found what I’m looking for. All I have to do is get it.”

“So what are you waiting for?”

He glanced up at you and you grinned, pulling him into another kiss. Dropping your voice into that tone, you leaned into his ear. “Take what you want, Maxwell.” 

#maxwell lord #max lord #max lord/reader #movie: ww84 #Pedro Pascal

[turnaboutyandere]

Ace attorney characters when you pack a bento box (boxed lunch) for them:

(In japan that's a indirect expression of love and in this case a confession)

Phoenix gets it right away. He smiles and blushes. And as he kisses y/n for the first time realizes he might not need to chase rivals away. Out of all of them hes probably the softest receiving a bento box. He jumps straight to calling you his girlfriend. Phoenix thinks about it all day and when he opens it come lunchtime and finds a little love note above his rice he tears up.

(Also if you make two, one for him and one for trucy he will melt)

Miles DOESNT get it right away. He doesnt understand why, when he has so much money, y/n would feel the need to pack him a lunch. He doesnt understand why his confusion causes y/n such a blush for a good five minutes. By the time he remembers the cultural significance they already left. He texts them something between sweet and formal. At noon (though I think he does have a tendency to skip lunch to work) he opens it and finds a little love note. He feels a lot of things at once and just like him ends up very smug

Franziska is silent for a second. It's not that she understands the implications, it completely flies over her head. No shes quiet cause she believes she should be taking care of you and not vice versa. Then she tells y/n to set it on the table, and is very confused when they leave the room practically skipping. It isn't until shes having lunch and her brother and gumshoe walk into the room to give her paperwork does she understand. Her brother asks her were she got it (idk if she's a good cook or would bother learning Japanese cooking) and when she relays your confounding behavior miles has the nerve to laugh. Then gumshoe surprisingly explains it to her. She turns pink and carefully opens it. Sure enough theres a love note in a sealed bag to keep it clean. That evening she buys a locket.

You have to know Diego for a very long time before he let's you cook for him. And he will never again accept open drinks from anyone. So y/n ever the sweetie invites him over in the early morning and hopes it doesnt irritate him. ( it doesnt cause hes already normally there). When he shows up y/n invites him in and leads him to the kitchen and they cook together so he can see whats in everything. He doesnt admit it but it makes him feel like they're married. It's when she hands him not his lunch but a bottled coffee still sealed does he go from crushing to love. Though he didnt like the extra sugar and milk in Japanese bottled coffee, they validated his trauma and therefore is not getting rid of him now.

Dahlia is an odd case. She pretends to not understand. She laughs her laugh like silver bells and thanks them as sweet as she can but I dont think she actually eats it. She worries shes been found out. That your trying to poison her. I can see her being better safe than sorry. Still she opens it to take a picture to post on her social media and sees the love note. She reads it once then again. And smiles sly. Her plan was working

Iris on the other hand completely understands and let's you know she knows. She asks if their seriously ok with dating someone already under oaths and vows. If thier ok respecting such boundaries. When y/n nods she begins to cry. At lunch time when she opens it she begins to cry again for two reasons

1) it's made specifically with her eating restrictions in mind. Y/n did their research

And

2) the love note. Oh goodness the love note. Never before has such a small paper made a girl so happy.

Wocky feels guilty that you pulled the bento thing first. His parents are Japanese and run a cafe and he couldn't make you a bento. When he voices his concerns and they take it as him accepting the confession and kiss him he feels a little better. He normally eats what his parents make for lunch but today. Is different. When he finds the love note he cries. He feels safe with s/o for the first time. Alita never wrote love notes or cooked lunches.

Mia the sweet women she is, flushed but tries to stay somewhat level headed, somewhat her normal level of cool. She sets it on her desk and takes y/n into her arms. She doesn't ask if they mean it cause shes scared they dont. That...it would destroy her, so she doesnt give them a chance. She would return the favor the next day but imagine be honest. I dont think she can cook either. She keeps the love note with everything else that reminds her if y/n. In a jewelry box under a floorboard.

Klavier doesnt understand it.... Much like franziska, he has no clue. But In a way he does? He knows this is something y/n put time and effort and money into, all for him. So he accepts it, calling y/n beautiful in the process. He doesnt get the fact that it was a confession...at first. Then he Googles what it means and sure enough it was a confession. And hes relieved cause he had accepted it and complimented them. He had agreed to their confession.

(before anyone says it, yes, I know Kristoph isn’t actually German, but I don’t care. Capcom can rip my “the Gavins are German” headcanon from my cold, dead hands)

Aight, so, ya girl is back. I’m gonna keep the ask box closed for a bit until I clear out all the asks I have (and finish a request) so please be patient. Thank you!

Damon: Doesn’t get it right away, but thinks it’s sweet that you made him lunch. He may google it later assuming he knows how to use google or ask someone about it, which is how he finds out the meaning behind it. Rather than make you a bento box in return, he’ll get you a bouquet of roses and invite you to join him for dinner instead. Between the roses, though, you’ll find a cute little love note with a smiley face scribbled onto it.

Shelly: He’s been around the block a few times, so he likely knows what it means. He’ll thank you and give you a peck on the cheek, promising to make you lunch as well. Once he finishes eating, he’ll put the note somewhere safe so he can reread it whenever he wants.

Matt: Has a security guard try it before he does, for safety reasons. Once he sees how upset you are by that, he’ll apologize and ask you to explain the meaning behind it (he knows he fucked up lmao). After you explain it, he’ll apologize (while being so fucking smug internally) and thank you for the lunch. He can’t cook to save his life, so don’t expect him to return the favor, but he will leave you a little note where you can find it; something along the lines of “I love you, dude <3“.

Kristoph: Prides himself on knowing a little about everything, so for him not to know the meaning behind your gift is unlikely. He’ll happily accept it and give you a gentle kiss on the forehead, all while hiding how smug he feels. He’ll also give you bento box in return, but with German cooking instead of Japanese. Oh, and that little love note you put in there? Expect to find a three page-long love letter in your lunch.

Ray: Pretty knowledgeable about romantic traditions around the world, so the chances of him getting it are pretty high. He’ll thank you for it rather sheepishly, as this is one of the few times you’ll get to see him flustered. Once he reads the note, though, he’ll pull you into a big hug, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. Afterwards, he’ll immediately set out to make you a bento box in return, or take you out to dinner if you prefer.

Sebastian: Bless his dense heart, he’s clueless. He’ll be very thankful though, and promise to make you something in return (despite his nonexistent cooking skills). He’ll likely eat it at work and brag about how you made it for him, which is when Miles steps in to explain the meaning behind it. That + the love note is enough to make him cry tears of joy, and he’ll tackle you in a hug the moment he gets the chance to.

Simon K: Doesn’t know how to feel at first because he’s never had someone make him lunch before. Once he sees the note inside, though, he realizes what it means and becomes even more emotionally confused than before. He’ll thank you, rather awkwardly, and promise to make something for you. He’s not much of a wordsmith but he’ll still add a note, expressing how grateful he is for the lunch.

Katherine: Will be on the verge of tears when you give her the bento box, and will flat-out start crying when she reads the love note. She’ll cling to you, thanking you profusely and promising to make you one as well. She keeps her word and makes you a wonderful bento box the very next day. Instead of a love note, however, you’ll receive a song she wrote about you (and she’ll even sing it to you while you eat).

Bobby: Another very dense yandere who is definitely going to get scolded by Blackquill for not understanding what your gift means. He’ll make up for it though, by going above and beyond to make you the best bento box you’ve ever eaten (it won’t be the prettiest and he’ll likely have burned something, but it’s the thought that counts, right?). He’ll also keep your love note on his bedside table so he can read it every night before bed and every morning when he wakes up.

Simon B: He’s a huge weeaboo Japanese cultural enthusiast, so he’ll get it right away. He’ll tease you about it and act cocky as usual, but in reality, he’s trying to hide the very obvious blush on his face. He’ll keep your note safely tucked away in his coat pocket for whenever he wants to reread it. He won’t return the favor right away, though. Instead, he’ll give it to you when you least expect it in order to fluster you.

______

- Mod Dollie

#letters to the mod

[thirium-fiction]

Could I ask for Simon, Connor, Markus and RK900 reacting to their shy S/O/threader trying to flirt with them but instead getting really flustered and trying to awkwardly stutter out the line but then giving up and just asking them to kiss her?

A/N: Changed this one just slightly and made it pre-relationship because who doesn’t love a little embarrassment with their crush?? 

Warnings: Little bit of swearing, some fluff with some suggestiveness as well 

-

Simon - 

You had no idea how you were going to do this. 

Simon was Simon and you were just...you. 

He was one of the head people of the revolution right alongside Markus for god’s sake. How were you supposed to muster up the courage to be able to flirt with him? You know, other deviants don’t tell you the terms and conditions of what comes along with having feelings. It just made things more complicated. Couldn’t you just be friends with the pretty blonde android? Your mind wanted to say yes but every single other biocomponent in your body said no (specifically your thirium pump). Is that what humans feel? Gross. 

Maybe he just saw you as a friend. Yeah, that could be it. Forget all this.

“You’re overthinking.” A voice came from the right of you, scaring you out of your internal rant. “It’s written all over your face.”

You shifted awkwardly in your spot as your gaze still rests on the particular blue-eyed PL600 model. “North, I don’t think I can do this.” A light bulb suddenly went off in your head. “Maybe you can-”

“I’m not passing the message off for you.” She laughed, crossing your arms before a slight cringe falls upon her features. “That would be weird.”

Letting out a breath of air, you shook your hands and jogged in place like you were getting ready to wrestle. “You’re right.” You said, giving a nod to her as she watches you with a judgmental yet amused look on her face. “I got this. I got this. I got this.” You repeated the phrase multiple times, trying to convince yourself.

Rolling her eyes, North pushed you forward and caused you to almost trip yourself. “Just go.”

Once you regained your balance, you began to walk forward while staring back at North who was giving you a supportive thumbs up (or her best attempt at one). You were so busy watching her that you didn’t realize you already made it to your destination and bumped into Simon.

“O-Oh! I’m so sorry, Simon! D-Didn’t realize you were standing there!” You laugh nervously, internally swearing at yourself non-stop for being such a klutz. 

The man gave you a kind smile that made your synthetic heart swoon. “It’s not a problem at all, (Y/N).” He was about to go back to whatever he was doing before you began again.

“Um, I was just wondering-” You trailed off, your eyes falling everywhere but his. “I couldn’t help but notice how much you’ve done for me.” Your (Y/N) orbs widen and your gaze snapped to him. “J-Jericho! Jericho, I mean. Not me, specifically.”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows, a look of concern dawning on him but there was still a small grin across his lips. “Are you alright?”

“Of course!” You squeaked a little too quickly before clearing your throat. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He blinked once before his smile grew a little more, curious as to what you were up to. “I don’t know...” He muttered, tilting his head, observing your microexpressions. “Why wouldn’t you be?”

You practically became jelly right then and there. You weren’t cut out for this. Your mind was whirling with too much and you just had to get out. Too bad your mouth spoke first.

“Because I want you to kiss me.”

You immediately gasped and covered your mouth. You almost stumbled over yourself trying to get away with a bunch of apologies but you were stopped by a gentle hand on your shoulder.

And a soft peck on your lips.

“You could’ve just led with that.” He whispered, his unbelievably warm hands cupping your face. “North was right about your face giving you away.” 

‘Damn you, North.’ You thought, barely able to process what just happened. He began to leave feather light kisses all over, leaving you feeling more comforted than you ever have been.

‘But also, thank you, North.’

Connor - 

You needed help fast. You knew Hank wanted nothing more than he already could handle with the robot. So, desperate times meant desperate measures. 

“GAVIN!” You slammed your hands on his desk, knocking his cup of pens and pencils over.

“FUCK!” The detective shot up from his previous position of using his arms as a pillow. The bags under his eyes were darker than ever. It must’ve been a rough couple of days. And that definitely meant he wasn’t going to be in a jolly mood. “The hell do you want this time?”

Case and point.

You pulled up a chair and sat next to him, your chin on your hands with a cheeky grin which caused a look of both disgust and annoyance to be directed at you. “I need your assistance.”

Gavin raised a brow before scoffing, “Assistance?” He shook his head and leaned back in his chair, trying to stretch his aching back. “You spend so much time with that shit for brains that you’re even starting to sound like it.”

“Please?” You beg, knowing it would inflate his already huge ego.

There was a pause before he heaved an overly dramatic sigh and gestured for you to continue.

You bit your lip, trying to think of a way to phrase it. “Now, let’s say there was someone in the office you’re, um, interested in? How would you get their attention?”

Gavin’s head laid limp near his shoulder before it fell back so he could stare at the ceiling. “Ugh, I don’t fuckin’ knowww.” He grunted before throwing his arms up. “Flirt? Like, you know, a normal person?”

Flirting? You weren’t exactly the biggest expert at that. Well, maybe it won’t be too bad considering Connor was quite different than the average male. Unless he had to ability to have standards. Oh, god. What were his standards?

“Alright.” You replied, slowly getting up from your seat next to him. “Guess I’ll give it a shot.” 

But, a hand raised mid-air forced you to stop in your tracks.

“Don’t tell me it has something to do with….” He pinched the bridge of his nose, his energy for handling anything quickly dwindling. “...WALL-E over there.” Your heavy silence made him grab the trash can from underneath his desk and begin to gesture from his mouth to the container. “I’m puking right now.”

You turned around and walked away from his childish antics.

“This is me puking!” He called out after you until you couldn’t hear him anymore before putting it back and going back to his nap.

Eventually, you made your way to Connor’s desk and noticed him scanning through files at a rapid pace. “Hey, Connor…” You began, causing his brown eyes to fall upon yours.

“Yes, (Y/N)? Did you need something?”

You were about to tell him never mind but you knew this was something you had to do.

“Could you come with me to the other break room for a second?” You watched as he glanced between you and his work before getting up with a small ‘okay’ and following you.

When you got there, you closed the door and silently fixed yourself a cup of coffee to look like you needed something from the room despite not being thirsty nor needing any more things to make you antsy. 

“Were you able to look at the thing I sent you?” You asked, taking a small sip from the piping cup of joe.

He blinked, puzzled at first before raising his eyebrows. “Oh, yes! I found it very enjoyable. I don’t think I could ever get tired of all the dog content you send me!”

‘Do I really send him that much?’ You thought as you put your cup down, not really interested in it.

Connor pursed his lips before slightly squinting. “Why did you ask for me?”

Oh, right. The flirting. You cleared your throat before slowly approaching him. “You’ve been here for awhile, Connor.” You whisper, trying to look at least a little seductive. 

“Yes, I have.” He stated, your efforts going right over his head.

Your fingers crawl up his suit jacket slowly. “Has anyone c-caught your eye?” You flutter your eyes, smiling. 

What were you thinking? 

“U-uh,” He stuttered as well, unsure of how to handle a situation like this. A situation where he had no clue what was going on. Or, maybe he did. He wasn’t sure if that’s what it was though. “I don’t understand, (Y/N). Could you care to-”

“Goddammit, Connor I’ve liked you for a long time and would really appreciate it if you just-” 

The android slammed his lips to yours, his hands hovering over your waist, not knowing what to do past this point. You quickly broke it and you could see there was a brief flash of worry across his face. 

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”

A couple beats passed until you giggled a bit, making him look at you. “I can’t fool a detective.” You giggle before pulling him back in again as his arms wrapped themselves tightly around your torso, never wanting to let go.

And maybe it was just your imagination from being on cloud nine but you could’ve sworn you heard, 

“Puke! Everywhere!”

Markus - 

You really didn’t want to say that you had gained feelings for him over time but you knew you couldn’t deny it for so long. Even Carl could see it. He secretly would try and coordinate when you could come over and when Markus visited. Despite the artist’s health deteriorating, he still wanted to make sure the two of you were happy. 

“Alarms deactivated. Welcome home, Markus”

An evil grin made its way across Carl’s tired face when you froze at the alarm system’s voice. “Go talk to him.” He said, patting your back to make you get up from the edge of the hospital bed. “I’m over watching the two of you tip toe around each other. Work your magic.”

Hesitantly, you got up off the bed but you nervously wringed your wrists, afraid of doing something you’d regret. “Maybe you’re right, Carl.”

“Of course I’m right. Now, go! I need to get some rest anyway.”

You ran your hands up and down your arms as you made your way out of the room and down the stairs, trying to calm your rising nerves. You didn’t see him at the entrance so he must’ve made his way to the main living room. Once you reached the doors, you put your hands on your knees, feeling as if you had already ran a marathon. Working up the courage before something like this really takes a lot out of you. Nodding, you hyped yourself up before taking a couple steps forward and causing the wooden doors to slide open. 

Markus was placed right in the middle of the room on a couch, a book in hand as he slowly fingers through it. After becoming deviant, he’s taken his time when it comes to appreciating literature and other forms of art. Even if he could read it all in a millisecond, he wanted the material to really resonate with him. A minute or two passed by before he finally looked up in your direction and noticed you. Almost instantly, he sprung up from his sitting position and closed the book.

“(Y/N).” Markus breathed, disappointed in himself for not acknowledging you sooner. “I-I didn’t hear you come in.”

You shrugged, walking around the couch so you weren’t speaking to him from across the room. “It’s okay. I didn’t exactly do anything to make you notice I was there.”

He glanced discreetly between you and the book he was reading, stepping in front of it to block it from view. “You don’t have to do much to-” He began, but quickly lost his confidence. He led a whole revolution but couldn’t do this one simple thing. Maybe it was a little too human for his liking. 

“What was that, Markus?” You asked softly, setting yourself down next to the spot where he was sitting moments before. 

“It’s...nothing.” He muttered, a smile on his face as he shook his head. “How have you been?” He quickly changed the subject and placed himself next to you, perhaps a little closer than originally intended.

“I’ve been - okay.” You didn’t want to be too upfront about your feelings and how he was on your mind a lot. “Just caught up in work and all. Don’t really have a lot of time to rest.” You crossed your legs and rested your hands on top of your knee. “I’m sure you know all about that.”

You subtly pinched your hand after that came out of your mouth. ‘He doesn’t rest, (Y/N). He’s an android! Just, ugh, stop talking!’ You thought, painting a kind expression over your panic.

“Yeah, I do.” Markus chuckled, a hand placed over the book so you couldn’t read the title. 

There was a long heavy silence and neither of you had the courage to break it. But, someone had to speak.

“What’re you reading?” You leaned over, trying to see what he was keeping so close to himself. 

He proceeded to move the book further out of sight. “Oh, just something Carl gave me.”

You eyed him suspiciously, his lack of being forward with you only making it more intriguing. He couldn’t get away that easily. You decided, and without even thinking much first, that you should dive for the book. Markus clearly wasn’t prepared for this sudden change in energy. He used his forearm to try and push you away, his other hand still grasping onto the cover, blocking you from seeing it. 

“(Y/N), please!” Markus shouted, a giant grin plastered on his face despite having to fight you off. “This isn’t going to get you anywhere!”

You ignored his pleas and still tried to reach for the item, crawling all over him and doing your best to push his strong arm away. What you hadn’t realized was the compromising position you put yourselves in. When you finally paused to catch your breath, you noticed how you were practically on top of the android as he still held the book above his head. A heavy blush returned to your face but you didn’t try and get up.

“S-So,” You whisper, still out of breath as you stared into his eyes. “I guess you could say I fell for-” You immediately choked, not being able to finish the pun. Maybe it was the lack of air to your head or the impending doom of embarrassment. 

You gulped, your gaze falling on his lips. It was now or never. Your voice was incredibly shaky as you let out a small whisper, “C-Could I-”

You didn’t need to tell him twice. Your lips meshed together perfectly as the two of you moved in sync. So, this is what happens when you tip toe around someone too much. The book dropped from his grasp and his hands found their way into your hair to deepen the kiss while own fingers slid down his chest and made their way underneath his shirt.

You never did find out what he was reading.

RK900 - 

You’re insane.

Have you not realized by now that this android and anything to do with genuine emotions does not go together? 

Like, at all? 

Anything that shows just a sign of weakness would be a no from him. He still didn’t understand why he was paired up with you as a partner for work. You were one of the shyest there was while he, on the other hand, was one of the most blunt and up front beings ever. Seriously, someone could be having the best day and all Conner had to say was one single thing and he could ruin it all. But, it’s what made him an excellent detective. Plenty of deviants have cracked under the enormous pressure that he puts them through. Guess you could say you were like a good cop and bad cop duo.

And maybe because he was the complete opposite of you, it made you all the more attracted to him. He never showed hesitation when it came to something and you admired him for that. Even if he could be the biggest dick about some of the things. You couldn’t really blame him, though. You knew CyberLife had to fix the “mistakes” from his previous model, the RK800, which was showing too much emotion. 

So, uh, what made you believe he could change things around for you?

You. A young detective that’s just trying to make a living and pay the bills to get by. What about you would make Conner interested? To go against his programming?

Thoughts like these never really helped you when it came to your confidence about the topic. You wanted to believe you could make him feel at least something but you knew it was going to have to take a lot of work. You tried though. Over and over again, you would give him small compliments on his process of handling things. Yet, he’d merely dismiss whatever you’d say.

“I merely do what I have to do in the most efficient way possible.” He’d tell you, focused on whatever he was doing at the time. “It’s not about it being good or bad to others.”

You didn’t know why he couldn’t just take a compliment. Could it have been because they made him feel better which was different from the normal way he saw himself? He was more comfortable with just doing his job without someone mentioning anything about it? Most likely. As mentioned, anything to do with a change in his feelings was a no from the android. 

It still didn’t stop you.

“Why do you do that?” Conner asked, coming off as incredibly harsh yet being genuinely curious.

“W-What do you mean?” You stuttered in reply, suddenly becoming overly nervous from being unprepared for such confrontation.

He glared intensely at you, leaning his head as he slowly walked up to you. It was incredibly intimidating, to say the least. “The compliments.” He began to walk around you in circles, almost as if you were his prey. “The flattery.” 

“I-I just-” You could barely get a word out without messing it up.

Eventually, he stopped right in front of you. “Why?”

You tried to take a step back from him, seeing how close he was, but you were stopped by a surface against your back. Great, you were stuck. 

“I don’t know.” Your eyes were everywhere but him. “I just a-admire the way you do things. Efficient, I guess.”

Conner seemed to enjoy that word. Efficient. It didn’t have any ties to it. It wasn’t good or bad. Much like he was in your opinion. Maybe your use of the word here would make him back off.

He scoffed a bit, approaching you a little more and removing the small distance you had. “Admire?” It was extremely evident that he was mocking you. “Why me? Do humans usually attach to things they know they can’t have?”

Ouch.

“You’re an asshole.” You hissed, tears starting to well up in your eyes. “I can’t believe I-”

“You what?” Conner whispered, looking down at you because of his height and his chest was just barely touching yours. 

You remained quiet, your glare pointed at the floor but you couldn’t help glancing up at his faces and to his lips for just a split second before looking away from him again. You don’t know why you thought you could get away with it.

“Ask me.” 

Furrowing your brows, you looked up into his eyes that never once strayed away from your own. “What?” 

The RK900 glanced down at your own lips just like you did with him before returning back to your gaze.

You couldn’t believe what he was implying. It just didn’t seem like something he’d do. “Y-You’re being ridiculous.” You huffed, trying to move past him until his arm stopped you from moving any more. 

“Ask me.”

Crossing your arms, you faced him fully once more. “Alright then…” You began, gaining a whole new burst of courage. “Kiss me.”

You were roughly pushed up against the wall behind you and you just barely let out a yelp before his mouth crashed itself into yours. Your brain could barely even process what was going on before he pulled at your waist to bring you even closer to him. His tongue dragged itself across your bottom lip before grabbing it between his teeth with a slight pull. You couldn’t help but respond with a moan before digging your fingers into his practically perfect hair, messing it up.

For someone so bland, you had never thought about what he could be behind closed doors.

You obviously weren’t complaining though.

- 

[masterlist]

TAGS:

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Please join my S/O reactions taglist [here] to keep yourself updated along with other stories!

#detroit become human #detroit become human x reader #dbh connor #connor x reader #dbh markus #markus x reader #dbh simon #dbh simon x reader

[echo-three-one]

Whatever It Takes : RELOADED

Augustus' burner phone is the key to locating Nero but the team discovers that it's more than just Nero that's behind all of this. Will the former 141 soldiers find out what Nero is up to? Will Alex rescue Samantha?

Table of Contents

Hello! Ray's Back in his game!

Chapter 16 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

My Damsel in Distress

"Alex"

Task Force 141 - Disbanded

On a plane off to somewhere

General Shepherd.

The name sent Alex's blood boiling from rage. He couldn't believe that a high ranking official would actually betray them and could still run away from it.

It's no secret that he wanted 141 out of the Nero scene. But why? He knew full well that Samantha doesn't have access over the address but he still took her? And he also knew that this little team won't walk away without her safe. Alex wondered what's running inside the snow-caterpillar-stache's little brain. He couldn't even say his name now.

He clenched his fists, feeling the thick leather gloves he wore for battle. It was a devastating day for him. They just bonded for a few moments here and there and now she’s already taken away from him. He couldn’t keep count how many times it happened. It was frustrating.

“So, which safehouse are you bringing us today?” Alex joked with his former CO. Jack looked serious as always, he never gets these kinds of humor.

“Same one in Brazil. It’s the most forgotten and spacious. No one’s going to come looking for us in South America.” Jack replied, looking worriedly at Alex.

“I know when you’re preoccupied Alex. What happened afterward?” Jack turned to him and Alex knew he had to open up. He deserved the truth anyway.

“I uh… I fell for her, Jack. I know I told you that I won’t but it just hit me.”

“Like a fucking brick…” Jack interrupted and chuckled.

“All I can say is that you’ve done a better job than I did when I fell in love. I could still see your determination towards your work. Or maybe because she’s still involved in all of this.” he added, causing Alex to relax his tensed shoulders.

“It’s good to have you back, old man.” Alex shook his hand and smiled. With all the problems around him, it was good to have someone close to him to talk to. He was glad Nero didn't kill him back in the Gulag.

“Yeah. Me too, and it looks like you’ve got yourselves a determined bunch. Especially that guy.” he noted, pointing to Soap who was sitting with France. Alex remembered how the two of them met at the Gulag and in that short span of time Jack was able to read the whole guy’s personality.

“Soap? Yeah, he’s an achiever. Heard he’s top of every obstacle course back at the base.” Alex mused, looking at the two. They were sitting together quietly but Alex felt jealous. He could've been doing that with Samantha right now. Now that she's ready to hear the truth about them.

"Yeah. He's got some fight in him. I'm sure we'll defeat Nero even with this little band right here. And I'll do my best to be of assistance to you." he patted Alex's shoulder and went back to check on Nikolai.

~

Safehouse 110197, Brazil

Alex remembered that this place was compromised, but then again that was the CIA mole's henchmen that found them here and they're no longer affiliated with Nero. Or he picked this place because no one would think of going back here after being compromised. The Reverse Psychology card. Either way, Alex didn't mind.

As the team slowly scattered around the house and prepared everything, Alex took note of some changes since his last visit. More beds were added and supplies got restocked. Even the bullet cache looked reloaded.

The team loaded off everything they salvaged, or stole, from the 141 and set it all up. Ghost prioritized the tech stuff while the women fixed the bedrooms. Alex offered help but was denied by Gary saying "Your face still hurts so don't over exert yourself, we can do this on our own."

So Alex plopped by the central couch as Ghost untangle the wires, putting them on their respective slots.

"You holding up okay?" The masked man asked as soon as Alex released a deep sigh.

"I'm worried about Samantha." he replied, resting his hands on the back of his head.

"She doesn't have the address, what does Shepherd want from her?" Alex added, his tone raised like a kid complaining.

"I have no idea. But I do have something else. Information on the surprise attack at the 141." Ghost said, as Jack and Price moved toward them and discussed the contents of Augustus' phone.

"That bastard gave away our location." Price cursed.

"So his plan to disband us would be successful." Alex added and Ghost nodded.

"Why get Samantha though? He knows we'll be coming for him." Ghost added and the rest of them speculated their theories.

"Augustus failed to get her so Shepherd did it for him? For what?" Jack noted, reviewing their whole mission for reference.

"Something bigger, I presume." Price spat and everyone fell silent. The rest of the team except for Gary and Maxine gathered for a short briefing. Everyone gave away their take as to why, some of them made sense while some reasons don't add up. And thinking about it was only making them more frustrated.

Everyone looked serious until they inhaled the fresh aroma of dinner from the kitchen. Alex turned and saw Gary and Maxine, smiling while serving up the team's dinner. He could sense something him and Samantha once shared in this place and it looked like the Safe house did it's charm once again.

"Now that's bloody good cookin'" Price announced and everyone laughed. He wasn't the kind of person to say those kinds of things, but he did, and it was all they needed to ease the tension of not knowing what's next.

They never gathered like this before, together, happy and noisy. The two oldies sat on the opposite edges of the round table while Soap, France, Gary and Maxine sat beside each other on the left. Simon and Alex sat on the other side, an empty chair resided beside them.

"Don't worry lad, we'll rescue her." Price muttered and Jack nodded. Alex smiled as they started to eat some food.

"Hold on a minute!" Soap exclaimed causing everyone to halt.

"Thank you Lord for thy blessings which we are about to receive. Amen." he muttered while everyone looked at him.

"Amen!" they all said in unison and wolfed down Gary and Maxine's delicious meal.

"This tastes so good! Just like Mom used to make!" Francine chewed happily. Maxine stared at her supposed to be sister and smiled.

"It does?" she breathed.

"Mmhmm.. I was always jealous that you two were so close together in the kitchen, everything I touch turns to a culinary mess." she frowned and made everyone else laugh. Soap stared at her in amazement.

"You and me both, France." Jack agreed. The gang bonded throughout dinner and enjoyed the company. Alex volunteered on the dishes and France offered to help.

"You think she's going to be fine?" Maxine asked as she checked the contents of the fridge, looking at Alex who looked very focused on the dishes he's cleaning.

"She's been kidnapped a lot of times now. I think she's used to it." Alex attempted to joke, but the tone of his voice was far from kidding.

"Aye, That lassie's a tough one. Don't worry Alex. We'll get her, Shepherd's bound to make a mistake anytime soon." Soap commented from behind him while leaning on the kitchen island.

"I told you I can handle assisting Alex on my own!" France giggled as she wiped the plates dry.

"Aye! I know! Can't a man just enjoy some time with his girlfriend?" he raised his hand mocking surrender. France turned back and crossed her arms.

"Ahem. Girl space Friend. There's a space in between." she scolded and MacTavish just chuckled.

"Whatever you say, Babe." he joked once again as he stepped out of the kitchen.

"Ugh. That guy's so full of himself." France groaned. Alex and Maxine exchanged glances and laughed, causing the female soldier to worry.

"What?" she asked.

"You two look cute together." Maxine chuckled, closed the fridge and walked away.

"We're not together!" France yelled, making sure Maxine would hear it wherever she went.

"We will be soon!" Soap exclaimed from outside, followed by collective laughter from the group of men with him.

~

Alex groaned and looked at his watch. It's already 3:36 am and he couldn't sleep. He slowly got up and looked around. On the huge bed, Jack and Price slept peacefully as evidenced by the loud snoring. Beside him on the floor was Soap, Roach and an empty spot where Ghost was supposed to sleep. The girls occupied the guest room.

Alex slowly got up and carefully assisted his metal leg, trying not to make noise as he waltzed to the balcony where he suspected Ghost to be.

And he was right, Ghost sat by the railings on the terrace, not a single expression of fear etched on his face. A face Alex saw for the first time.

"Can't sleep?" the former CIA asked. Ghost slowly turned his head and nodded.

"I'm just contemplating…" he muttered, the tone of his voice sound defeated.

"We caught ourselves in a crazy situation, huh?" Alex chuckled trying to make the best of the situation. Ghost didn't seem to like the vote of happiness as he clicked his tongue and sighed.

"I'm into France… but it looked like she's happier with John." he spat. From what Alex heard from Roach, Ghost was not the kind of person to open up. And this was all too surprising for him.

"I… uh…" Alex stammered.

"Look, I'm also sorry… You don't have to reply… I was about to vent to Gary about this but he seemed too preoccupied with Maxine and I didn't want to bother him."

"Look, it's okay. Ghost."

"It's Simon, Simon Riley."

"It's okay Simon. That's life. You win some, you lose some." he consoled. He tried to make it as positive as possible but he was also down in the dumps, like him.

"Thanks for the honesty. I just realized how devastated you must be. I never got to hear your story until Gary told me. It must've been tough losing her over and over again." Gary talked without looking at him.

"It's like I've been cursed to lose her and save her all over again." Alex complained.

"Like Link." Simon announced like it's a great metaphor which Alex didn't get.

"Link?"

"Like from the video game. Where this knight was always out to save her damsel in distress. It's got many different variations but it's always the same name. Generations have passed and Link was always destined to save Zelda." he said in amusement.

"My damsel in distress…" Alex noted and looked up at the stars, wishing that wherever Samantha may be, he hoped she's safe and also thinking of him.

Next Chapter : Delayed Flight

Notification Squad my beloved

@smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @whimsywispsblog @beemybee @ricinbach

#horRAYfic #whateverittakes #reloaded #alex echo 3 1 #john soap mactavish #john price #gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #i miss yall

[popculturebuffet]

Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling.  And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain. 

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98.  Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98. 

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this  Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act. 

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on. 

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days. 

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy. 

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate. 

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can. 

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww. 

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that. 

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more  on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads.  Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention. 

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it. 

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut. 

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30.  So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise. 

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that. 

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad.  Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs.  And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly. 

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from.  So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love.  Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that. 

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE. 

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this. 

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that. 

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own. 

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all. 

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No.  Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy. 

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe.  And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial. 

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot. 

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought. 

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches. 

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story. 

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised.  Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off... 

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk.  Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque. 

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating. 

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times. 

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that.  So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse. 

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call. 

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie. 

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect. 

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening. 

But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy  not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that. 

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs. 

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie. 

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act. 

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues.  Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice. 

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat.   Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it.  Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did. 

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above.  At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay... 

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis.  The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie. 

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her.  1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake.  2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not  in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit.  And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m  so sick of talking about her. 

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume.  So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that. 

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF.  So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice  parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew,  while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose. 

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy. 

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her.  Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through.  So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection. 

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake. 

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him.  And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star.  Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent.  So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate. 

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times.  It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is.  The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE.  Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for. 

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim... 

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID  Neil bring to the concert? 

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass.. 

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents. 

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven. 

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag. 

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated. 

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve. 

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome.  Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams. 

Heck of  a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones,  Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here. 

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #ramona flowers #kim pine #stephen stiles #wallace wells #envy adams #lucas lee #oni press #Brian Lee O'malley #knives chau #neil nordgraf

[songficsbyrissi]

Ain’t No Way (Spooky x Reader)

“Ain't no way (ain't no way), I'm gone let you down (let you down). I know it's hard right now (hard right now), To see (it's in me). But I'm gone make you say you love me.” - Chris Brown

A/N: I know y’all think when tf did I become a Spooky writer but listennnnnnnnn I’ve caught up on On My Block and that man is Fine with a capital F. Gangsters ain’t even my flavor! But seeing him and watching season 3 got my creative juices flowing. The way I got this going, this is most likely gonna be a mini series. Aight now let’s get interracial! (I’m making a joke so don’t nobody come butthurt in my inbox. I will delete your shit.)

Oscar Diaz, also known as “Spooky”, was not your type at all. You hated to admit that once upon a time, he was. It was back in high school. He was this wannabe gangster and your young dumbass was into that. It was the whole “bad boy” image that almost every teenage girl drooled over. Once you got to your senior year, you grew tired of Freeridge and the gang bullshit so you went to college far away, got your degree, and came back home hoping to make Freeridge somewhat of a better place by opening your own restaurant that held a lot of community events. Unfortunately, coming back to Freeridge also meant coming back to Oscar, who was the head of the Santos. He didn’t know you were back. You planned to keep it that way. “Hey mami!” You stopped in your tracks. No, it couldn’t be. You decided to keep on walking until the familiar voice called you by your name this time. “Y/N!”

You slowly turned around and realization dawned on you. You moved into the only apartment with vacancy, which so happens to be a couple minutes away from Oscar’s house. This was a really bad day for your car not to start. When you’re walking and completely forgot that Oscar’s house was on the way to your restaurant. You were right in front of his front yard and could see his little brother Cesar walking out the front door with his school bag around his shoulder. He’s gotten so big since the last time you’ve seen him. When he was little, he had a little crush which you were both flattered and annoyed by. “Cesar....look at you! You got so big!” “Y/N!” He gave you a quick hug. “You got...um....” You tilted your head in confusion. “Got what?” The 14 year old sighed out of frustration. “You got hotter! But I’m not supposed to say that because I’m dating Monse!” You found yourself laughing at his confession and even more at the blush coming on his pale face. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna tell her but thank you. Have a good day at school.” “You too.” He rolled his eyes groaning. “Fuck!” You snickered as he went on his way and followed behind him only to have your name called out again by his older brother. “Oh my God. What?!” You stared fiercely at the Mexican gang banger as he strolled up to you, checking you out from head to toe. Once he was a few inches away from you, he smirked. “Damn you look good.” “Is that all you gotta say? Because I got somewhere to be.” Oscar let out a soft chuckle before eyeing you down again. “When did you get back?” You raised an eyebrow. “Why you need to know?” He said nothing and just stared at you which meant you had to say something. You sighed deeply looking at your feet. “I came back a couple days ago.” “You’re lying.” You looked up at him with an expression that said “the fuck?” “Look Oscar-“ “Spooky.” You snorted. “I ain’t calling no grown ass man “spooky”. His smirk came back. “You used to. Back in high school.” You rolled your eyes. “That was high school. We’re both grown, Oscar. Now if you excuse me, I gotta take my grown ass to my grown ass job.” You pushed past him and continued your journey on foot. “Where you work at? I could drive you there.” You let a dry laugh turning to to glare at him. “Thanks but no thanks. I’m fine.” “Yes you are, mami.” You scrunched your face up in disgust and went back to walking to your restaurant. Oscar kept smirking as he went back to his front porch where some of the Santos were chilling in the front. “Who’s that hyna?” One of them took a drag of a cigarette, smirking in lust. Oscar’s smirk dropped as he slapped the cigarette out of his mouth. The Santo grew wide-eyed and the leader got close in his face with a menacing look. “That’s my hyna. I claimed her so nobody even look at her or even think about her. Entiendes?” All the Santos present held the hands up in defense, saying they understood. The Santo in question spoke up. “I’m sorry, Spooky. From what I saw, she didn’t seem like your hyna.” “But she is.” Oscar declared as he stared at you in a distance.                                               *********************

“Damn, boss. You look pissed.” Your employee, Simone, observed as you approached your place of business. You put your glare on her, causing her to apologize and you waved her off. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just that this morning has been really annoying. I’m sorry for being late and leaving you out here.” “It wasn’t that long. It’s fine. Shit happens. Let’s just open this restaurant up!” You managed to put a smile on your face and you pulled out the keys to open the doors. You got the place open and your other employees came later in the day for lunch rush hour. When 3 o’clock hit, in came the kids who just got out of school. You didn’t want to be that person but you had to kick them out if they weren’t buying anything. “Hey beautiful. You sexy when you’re all assertive and shit.” This medium skinned cholo bit his lip at you and it took all your power not to gag right then and there. His friend came up to you two, pulling him away. “Ay chico, that’s Spooky’s hyna.” He informed him in a cautious tone and the one flirting with you backed up with his eyes widened. “Oh shit. My bad, mami. Don’t tell your man.” The two cholos scurried away as you stood there in confusion. You spotted Cesar and his friend having burgers and fries in a booth, diagonal from you. You approached them with a huge sigh. “Oh hey Y/N.” Cesar greeted you first. “Wait this is Y/N?!??!?!” Ruby stood out of his seat in the booth and got close to your face. “Hey girl. You might not remember me but I’m Ruben aka your future baby daddy.” You placed your hand on his right cheek and pushed him back down in his seat. “Eat your food, Ruby.” “What it do, cousin?” Jamal greeted you. You forgot one of Cesar’s friends was your annoying ass cousin Jamal. “What the hell does “hyna” mean?” You questioned the group and they all looked at each other in puzzlement. “So no one knows what it means?” “It means pretty girl. Beautiful girl. It’s a compliment.” Monse stated as she popped a fry in her mouth. “Ok but two cholos came in here and one tried to flirt but the other told him I’m-and I quote “Spooky’s hyna” you explained with air quotes. “So what the hell does that mean?” The group got quiet at your explanation and you stared at all of them anxiously. What the fuck did they know that you didn’t? “Hello? Earth to the Core 4?” You waved your hand trying to get their attention back on you. Cesar drummed his fingers on the table before looking up at you. “Let’s just say.... you finding a husband in Freeridge is probably never gonna happen.” Your eyebrows were knitted together in confusion and you folded your arms. “What do you mean by that?” “Oh wow it really do be the pretty ones that are slow.” Jamal whispered out loud and turned to you slowly. “It means that......Spooky....got dibs on you. He claimed you meaning nobody else can date you because if they do, they’re signing their death certificate.” You had to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from screaming “WHAT THE FUCK?!” In your professional establishment. You turned on your heel and just got back to work. Once it was close to closing time, no one was at your restaurant. You were walking to the front doors to flip the sign when Oscar showed up and walked through the doors. You sighed deeply. “You know we’re about to close.” Oscar pointed to the sign. “The sign says open.” “I was just about to flip it ov- what do you want from me, Oscar?!” He shrugged his shoulders in response. “I just wanted to talk to you. Maybe hang out sometimes.” You laughed loudly and sarcastically at his answer and the look on his face was not one of amusement. Is it ever is? “You got me fucked up if you think I’m hanging out with a fucking gangbanger. A fucking Santo at that.” You snorted and grabbed the dishrag to clean the tables. “You must be using some of the product you be selling.” He slammed his hand on one of the square tables, glaring at you. You were a little shell shocked but tried not to show it. “You talk all this shit about gangsters and shit like you weren’t feeling one in the past but you gonna feel one soon.” “And what the fuck do you mean by that?” You found your voice after taking a large gulp. “I’m gonna make you say you love me.” It took everything in your power not to laugh in his face in that moment because that shit was hilarious but you could tell he was serious. Word on the street is Spooky was the last motherfucker you wanted to piss off. You looked at the table he slammed and noticed a tiny piece of paper that read: 213-456-7893 The next day, your car ran smoothly today so you didn’t have to see Oscar on your way to the restaurant. That made you really happy. When it was close to closing time, before you could flip over the sign, a group of young boys pushed themselves inside and stared at you. You looked from side to side and back at them. “Can I help you?” “Are you the owner?” The one that seemed like the leader asked quickly. Straight to the point. You respected that. “Yes, I am. Why? Do you have a complaint?” “Yeah I do.” The leader glanced at the other two boys with him and focused his attention back at you. “This is 99th street territory and since your little restaurant is on it, you gotta pay us rent.” You let out a boisterous laugh at the audacity of these boys. Everyone was on a mission to make you ugly laugh lately. “I’m not paying you shit. You ain’t the government.” You spoke once the laughs subsided. “Now it’s either you order some food or get the hell out. I prefer the latter so you could run back home and do your homework.” You finished in a baby voice, ruffling the young boy’s hair. The group of boys began to chuckle as they began to walk out. “You don’t know who you’re messing with, lady.” The leader warned before heading out of the glass doors. You giggled to yourself as you wiped the tables. Suddenly you got the sense that something wasn’t right and you gut was right because as soon as you went into the kitchen, bullets sprayed throughout your restaurant. You grabbed Simone and forced yourselves to duck down. Once it finished, you remembered you had your employee, Marco, outside taking out the trash. “Marco!” You yelled out running outside which was probably stupid as hell because if the shooters were still there, now they got an easier shot. You found Marco slumped against the building with a bullet in his arm. He was holding onto it to prevent more blood from releasing. You heard footsteps approach you and you fearfully looked to see the boys from earlier. “We warned you, lady. Next time, the bullet goes in his head.” The leader stuck out his thumb, index, and middle fingers to make his hand look like a gun and gestured towards you. “Or maybe your head.” He began to chuckle and his boys joined in on the laughing fest. He stopped chuckling and they stopped too. “Don’t mess with us again, lady.” You waited until you were sure the gang was gone before dialing 911 to get Marco an ambulance. “Marco.....I’m so sorry.” You were on the verge of tears seeing your employee on a gurney, ready to go to the hospital. “It’s ok, Miss Y/N. I’ve gotten shot before. 7 more times and you call me 50 cent.” You began to smile as they wheeled Marco away. That’s what you always appreciated about him. Always finding light in a dark ass situation, even when that situation was his. You took out your phone and dialed a number as Simone stood next to you. “Who are you calling?” “Probably my biggest regret.” Too vague for her to understand, Simone shrugged her shoulders and went back inside of the restaurant. After your phone call, you sat down in one of the booths just waiting. After a while, he appeared right in front of you, saying nothing. He just took a seat in the booth facing you. You leaned in close. “First things first, take that stupid ass gang claim off of me. I’m not anyone’s fucking hyna, especially not yours. So cut the shit.” Oscar remained silent and just stared at you intensely. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “Is that it?” You took a deep breath, already regretting your next words. “No. I need protection.” He raised one of his thick eyebrows. “From?” You gestured towards the glass and bulletholes in your windows. “Do you see this shit? 99th street did it. I have employees and a reputation to protect. So I need protection from the Santos.” Oscar began to crack up suddenly at your words and you stared at him in annoyance. You knew you were going to regret this shit but you didn’t have a choice. The police said they’ll get them but that’s not enough. Besides, they are used to gang activity so they’re barely gonna do anything. “You know you’re one funny hyna. First, you talk all this shit about gangs and then giving me attitude since I first saw you. Shit, you gave me an attitude right when I sat down. And now, you’re asking me for a favor. Maybe food ain’t your thing, mamita. You should go for stand-up comedy.” “If I had any other choice, I would’ve took it but I don’t. So are you gonna do it?” Oscar sat in up in his seat, folded his broad hands, and leaned in close to you. “Protection ain’t free, mami.” You cleared your throat and tilted your head to avoid showing him that the look on his face kinda turned you on. Your fingers drummed on the table. “I know that. I’m willing to pay you for your tim-“ “Nah you not paying in money, hyna.” Oscar’s hands found yourself on the table and when you met his hands, you stopped thinking for a minute. You came back to your senses and removed your hands in disgust. “I rather have 99th street put a bullet in my fucking eye before I do that.” You hissed, gesturing to your left eye. “I don’t need sex from you, mami. Well, at least not now. But I need you to make it worth my while.” You shrugged your shoulders, completely defeated. “What do you want?” “How about you be my personal chef? Cook me and Cesar breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You do that and you, your employees, and your restaurant are under the protection of the Santos.” Oscar stuck his hand out to you. “Do we have a deal, mami?” You scowled at the man in front of you as he waited for your hand to meet his. To be honest, you rather slit your wrists than cook for him. But you’ll be cooking for Cesar too and you cared about Cesar. You knew he probably wasn’t having proper meals at home and you needed Santo protection. Fuck. You shook his hand. “You got a deal.” He slowly brought your hand to his lips, giving it a kiss, stood up, and left your restaurant. Simone emerged from the kitchen, staring at Oscar leaving and turned back to you, confused. “Wait what just happened?” You exhaled deeply, struggling to get your next words out. “I just made a deal with the devil.”

Tags: @cancerianprincess​ @drtycomputerx​

(whoever else wants to be tagged just let me know :)

#on my block fanfiction #on my block fanfic #spooky x reader #spooky diaz x reader #oscar diaz x black! reader #oscar diaz x reader #spooky x black reader #spooky diaz x black! reader #oscar diaz x black reader #spooky diaz #oscar diaz

[bytheangell]

Spilling Truths

(Read on AO3) (Content warning: alcohol/drinking/bars)

It takes a lot of convincing for Jace to get Simon to agree to go out on a Wednesday night when he has an 8 am class on Thursday mornings, but Jace is particularly motivated for St. Patty’s Day. He might’ve let him skip out if Simon hadn’t mentioned that he stayed in the last two years of the holiday, too, which is something Jace makes his personal mission to rectify.

Jace cycles through the usual bribes - greasy food before and after they go out to the bar (or bars plural, depending on where the night takes them), the promise to leave before last call, swearing he won’t complain when Simon’s alarm wakes them both up after far too little sleep - before Simon finally gives in and agrees to go out.

All of Jace’s excuses are just that: excuses. Sure, it’s one of those things Jace actually believes everyone should go out and experience the atmosphere of once - there’s nothing quite like an entire bar of drunken college kids screaming along to Flogging Molly, after all - but if Simon had decided to stay in then there’s a good chance that Jace might’ve skipped out on the night, too.

Because the truth is that he doesn’t want to spend the night out getting drunk with his usual go-to group of drinking buddies, not when he could spend it with Simon. They’re roommates, but between classes, clubs, and other hobbies, they don’t see each other nearly as often as Jace would like, especially considering his steadily growing crush on Simon the past few months. And with the end of the year steadily approaching and no promise that Simon will want to live with him again next year, Jace is determined to make the most of every chance he gets to spend a little more time with Simon now.

So yeah, he’s selfishly thrilled when Simon agrees to go out for the holiday after a long day of rough classes and exams, even if he knows they’ll likely both suffer for it tomorrow.

“I’ll try a green beer but if you think I’m doing that awful shot with the milk then you have another thing coming,” Simon warns Jace the moment they step into the pub and see the specials for the night. “I don’t care what holiday it is, that sounds disgusting.”

“I think I can live with that,” Jace agrees, laughing.

Apparently, Simon could use the break much more than he originally let on, because they’re only at the bar for an hour, maybe an hour and a half tops, before Simon starts to sway every time he moves. In fact, Simon must’ve had a really long day, because Jace is positive this is the first time he’s seen Simon properly drunk since they met at the start of the year.

“How’re you feeling there, Si?” Jace asks, eyebrow raised. He ordered the both of them some food that should be arriving any minute now, which won’t be a second too soon from the looks of Simon. He wonders idly if Simon actually ate anything all day if he’d been stressing over exams.

“I feel grrrrrreat!” Simon exclaims, the last word mimicking that one cartoon cereal tiger Jace remembers from commercials as a kid.

“Great,” Jace says, laughing. “Try not to feel so great you throw up on your new shoes, alright?”

For someone who claims to not care about these sorts of events, Simon didn’t hesitate to buy a pair of green Converse to wear out with his green plaid shirt for the occasion.

Simon nods and salutes in Jace’s general direction. “Aye-aye, captain.” Simon pauses, giving Jace a quick up-and-down. “I should start calling you Captain,” Simon adds, the words slurring together though his tone is much more serious.

“You absolutely should not,” Jace says, shaking his head and taking another very long swig of his drink. He’s torn between wanting to catch up to Simon’s level of intoxication and wondering if maybe he should hold back in case he needs to be extra sober to get them both back in one piece.

“But you’re like, really hot. Like, Captain America levels of hot, so it totally fits. I’m going to get you a shield and call you Captain,” Simon elaborates, and Jace… well, Jace has to actively ignore the flutter in his stomach at Simon’s words, because Simon is drunk. He isn’t actually flirting with him.

“You’re drunk, and I’m going to pretend you never said that,” Jace says.

“Oh, okay,” Simon says, frowning. “So if I say,” Simon continues slowly, then pauses to consider something very intently. The silence stretches on for half a minute while Simon gathers his thoughts into something coherent. “If I tell you that I’ve had a huge crush on you all year, and that it’s super unfair when you sit around in a towel for an hour after you shower, and that I really want to kiss you, like, all of the time… You can just pretend I never said any of that, too?”

Jace stares at Simon in wide-eyed silence for a minute because what the fuck is he supposed to do with that?! He knows what he wants to do, which is to lean across the space between them and kiss Simon hard enough to knock him off his bar stool. But Simon is drunk, and drunken confessions are one thing, but acting on them is another entirely. The last thing Jace wants to do is ruin things before they even have a chance to start.

So what Jace actually does, with all the self-control he can muster, is say, “How about this: I close our tabs, you sleep this impending hangover off, and in the morning I’ll tell you that I have a huge crush on you, too, and we can figure it out from there.”

Jace waits, anxious for Simon’s reply, afraid he might realize exactly what he said and take it all back and leave them both right where they started.

Instead, Simon nods with a satisfied grin on his face at Jace’s suggestion. “Okay. Yeah, that sounds good.”

It takes them much longer than it should to get to their room, mostly because drunk Simon feels the impulse to climb everything from fences (as a ‘shortcut’, even though it takes him approximately 10 minutes to make it over and he nearly breaks his leg falling off the other side) to trees (which he can’t actually climb, and instead hangs uselessly from the lowest branch of over and over again without being able to pull himself up), but by some small miracle Jace manages to get Simon back to their dorm, changed into sweatpants, and into his bed.

Just as Jace is walking away he hears Simon say his name quietly in question. “Jace?”

“Yeah?” Jace answers, turning back around.

“I’m going to be really excited when you tell me you have a crush on me tomorrow,” Simon says, giving him a wide, sleepy smile.

“I can’t wait,” Jace smiles back, before turning off the light. He’s already counting the minutes until Simon’s 6:30 am alarm, which shifts from ‘way too early’ to ‘not nearly soon enough’ in Jace’s opinion, knowing what new adventures the morning will bring.

#jimon #jace herondale #simon lewis #shadowhunters #tsc #human au #posted anonymously over the weekend for the Malec Discord Fic Crawl! and now that reveals are up I can share it here! #a little idea i did before that I expanded on for the event #elle writes a few deadbeat lines #long post #cw: alcohol