#and in many ways the biggest cost is that i'm SO separated from the whole concept that i can't even really grok the cost | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

girls-and-honey · 1 year

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I saw your tags on the post about marriage of convenience. I need your thoughts right now!

asdlkfj alright re: this post, I have so many thoughts about marriage and I'll try to keep this at least coherent if not somewhat reasonable in length if you get to the end I'm sorry I failed to keep it short

it probably helps to have a little background on what I think of marriage in general then I'll focus on marriage of convenience. bullet points for this part so I don't get carried away:

you don't need to be married to someone in order to love them, or to 'prove' that you love them also there are many types of love but we're not going to get into that

you don't need to love someone to be married to them

in school we learned the whole 'separation of church and state' thing right (maybe this is a us-specific thing?) and that phrase bothers me so much. the way I was raised framed marriage very much as the religious 'sacrament of marriage' but how is that separation of church and state if there are legal effects of marriage as well??

my own view of marriage is much more based on its legal implications rather than its religious ones, in fact I don't usually think about the religious aspect at all unless it's specifically referenced

interpersonal implications for me lie somewhere between legal and religious (closer to legal, and primarily just how myself and my partner feel about being married, friends/family might have secondary opinions but it's not their relationship)

okay and onto marriage of convenience thoughts. examples cited in the post are excellent reasons: tax benefits, tuition reduction, and yes pet-friendly housing as well! other reasons could include residency rights (especially for someone seeking refuge from a country that is not safe for them), alleviate family pressure (it's your life but look some families feel very strongly about this), more financial reasons including social security breaks, inheritance rights, no gift/estate tax for exchanges between spouses, cheaper health insurance for policy holder + spouse or family coverage, etc..

this probably counts more as a benefit instead of a sole reason since you can make an advance directive but it's one that I think about quite often: medical and legal consent. in the event you're unable to provide consent, the order of priority (again, at least for the us) follows this list until one applies: advance directive, legal representative, married / civil union spouse, close relative, close friend. there are definitely decisions I do NOT want to leave up to my family. also if you're a spouse I believe you have emergency services rights like riding in the ambulance or visiting in the ED that are not given to family/friends

plus if there's marriage of convenience it stands to reason there would be divorce of convenience? I'm joking but yeah you can get divorced if you no longer want to be in your marriage whether it was for convenience or not. definitely think this falls under a cost/benefit consideration on a case by case basis, and there are probably some situations where both parties plan to be married for x amount of time for their specific benefits, but honestly I think it's realistic too for people to just. stay married until it doesn't make sense anymore, financially or otherwise

also I feel like this needs to be said, a marriage of convenience doesn't mean you just pick a complete stranger and marry them. I guess it might, but probably shouldn't for most cases. it's not that you're getting married just for the sake of being married, there's still a benefit for one or both parties it's just that the benefit doesn't include the whole romantic love commitment piece

asldfk was about to post but I want to say one more thing actually. I feel like the two biggest reasons people have to oppose marriages of convenience are 1) it's 'cheating the system' which okay?? the system is broken anyway. marriage is a legal institution, if you can use it to your advantage go for it or 2) it somehow diminishes the sanctity of marriage for everyone who marries for love which like, again. separation of church and state is where??? not anywhere near marriage. I'll state it more clearly: marriage is not an exclusively religious act. there's absolutely nothing wrong with marrying for love btw but it doesn't mean these other reasons are invalid or make a marriage somehow less real

anyway I'm very pro marriage of convenience, I'm not a professional (what would that even be, marriage counselor maybe? lawyer? idk but I'm not it) these are literally just my thoughts

#sorry this took so long to answer i just got off a 2 hr call with my mom then spent some time contemplating as I was writing #neither of us are phone people but she's Going Through It with work and wanted to talk through job options (she's quitting good for her)#ahh I tried to keep it short but it still ended up longer than I meant while somehow not covering everything I was going to say #but this sums it up pretty well #anyway who wants to marry me for tax benefits #(joking unless you're the one remaining active mutual I actually know irl...)#thanks for asking btw I was thinking about rambling in the tags and decided it wasn't worth it at the time but this felt good to write #asks

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johnsamericano · 3 years

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𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •2•

Hi hi! I'm back with another chapter. This one might not be as good(?, it's a really fluffy chapter so bear with me.

warnings: sugar daddy jae, he's a big baby, tooth rotting, kinda long.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato

“Sir, there’s a girl asking to see you.”

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Let her in.”

Only a few seconds later, your head was peeking through his door.

“I brought you coffee.” You extended your hand out, showing him the carton containing two iced drinks. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all, come in.” You sat on the elegant, individual sofa in front of him, his desk serving as a separation. “Are you here to spy on me? Don't you trust me with your father's case?” He pouted, typing something in his keyboard while your palms started sweating.

How could you not trust the man with the highest case winning index in the whole country?

Briefly, after your encounter with the other lawyer, you'd googled him as well as his company. Because of his incredibly high fees, he didn't have many clients, but those few who had enough money to cost him were almost assured to be on the winning side. So then, why hadn't an excellent lawyer like him popped up when you'd first looked for popular firms? Simple, he wasn't popular.

Just like a hidden gem, only a few had the pleasure to know Yoonoh, and you felt beyond grateful for paying that stupid membership weeks ago.

“No, no!” You were quick to defend yourself, frantically shaking your hands to support your previous statement. “Just wanted to be of help.”

Truth to be told, after receiving your first weekly allowance, an unsettling feeling had been squeezing your heart ever since. Call it guilt or whatever, but it didn't set right to be receiving si much help from him when you hadn't had the chance to do anything in return. The least you could do was trying to be polite.

“You shouldn't be spending your money on me. I'm the one supposed to spoil you, remember?” He grabbed the plastic container by the lid, sipping the bitter liquid with an amused smile. “But thank you.”

“I paid my rent yesterday.” You blurted out, trying to avoid the uncomfortable silence threatening to settle between the two of you. “And I still have money left to save for my father's hospital bills, maybe even buy a present for my aunt.”

He admired how noble you were, making sure those around you had enough before even thinking to do something for yourself.

“I have a party this Friday, would you like to attend with me?” Your presence wasn't required as it wasn't a big event, but by the look in your eyes, he knew you were itching to do something in return for his kindness.

“Yes, of course!” Your orbs sparkled with excitement, finally feeling yourself useful.

“If you don't mind waiting, we can go buy something for you to wear right after I finish with this.” For what seemed like the tenth time in less than ten minutes, small beads of sweat rolled down the back of your neck. Thank God he wasn't able to see them. “Oh, come on, don't give me that look!”

“You’ve already done so much for me. I can buy the clothes myself, don't worry.” With a deep sigh, Yoonoh rose from his chair, taking long strides to surround the desk separating you. “W-what are you doing?” Now kneeling on the floor beneath you, his face was dangerously close to yours, coffee breath crashing against your nose.

“Using mind control to convince you to let me take you out.” He stared at you for a couple more seconds before saying: “Is it working?”

“I think your mind control is broken.” You whisper, unable to hold back the small giggles bubbling at the back of your throat.

“How about now?” He batted his eyelashes, trying to act cute despite his bold features. You shook your head.

Just as you thought it was over, his hand went up to cup your jaw, his thumb drawing uneven figures on the ticklish skin.

“How about now?” He repeated. You stammered, unsure of what to say. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.” Aware of your awkwardness and the rising heat in your cheeks, he stood up, walking back to his chair. “But I do want to get you something, would you let me?”

With your mind busy and your guard low, you nodded, unaware of the silly smile on his face.

“I have a few novels on my shelf in case you want something to kill time.”

“Thank you.” You moved to the huge bookshelf facing his desk, grateful your face wasn't visible anymore.

The books were ordered by genre and size, starting from the biggest law-related textbooks to pocket-sized novels, ending with the smallest one he had. The little prince.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Yoonoh didn't seem to be the type to read that kind of heartbreaking yet beautiful book. Nonetheless, as many said, you can't judge a book by its cover.

An hour or two later, you were halfway into the first book of flowers in the attic, immersed in the small world the author had created. Yoonoh had finished his work a few minutes before, but distracting you when you were reading so vividly, seemed like a crime. He enjoyed the way your eyebrows would knit together every time something shocking happened, clearly too immersed in the novel to notice his intense gaze.

“Y/n...” He whispered once he noticed you were starting a new chapter. You blinked twice, hands clutching the book tightly as you noticed he had finished his work. “You can take it home, don't worry.”

“Sure?” He flashed his pretty dimples as his eyes turned into half-moons.

“You can come back for the rest of the saga when you finish this one. Take as many books as you please, I’ve already read them all.”

“Thank you.” Another act of kindness you had no way of returning. His favors just seemed to be piling up before you could even return any. “Would you like to have dinner with me today? I'm a great cook, or so did my father said.” You blurted out quickly, twisting your hands nervously as you waited for an answer.

“I’d love to. But I might have to attend some work calls if you don't mind.”

“I don't, maybe I'll even have time to bake a cake while you're at it.” God, how bad he wanted to take a picture of that adorably nervous smile.

“Great, so it's settled. Dinner at your place after we go shopping.” He had already put his blazer on, offering his arm to guide you out. With shaky fingers and sweaty armpits, you grabbed it, walking by his side with his secretary’s gazed glued on you. So much for a girl, huh?

Once seated in his car, with the book resting on your lap, you allowed yourself to relax. Yoonoh wasn't a bad person, on the contrary, he was very kind, so there was no use in keeping your guard up when he was around.

“Ready to roll?” You cringed at his use of slang, making him drop his head back to laugh. “What? Isn't it a thing you cool young adults say?”

“Maybe twenty years ago, Yoonoh.” It was the very first time you used his name so informally, and, oh how good it felt to hear you saying it?

“Fine, I won't use it anymore.” He poked your arm like a little child, and for a moment, you wondered if he was actually more than a decade older.

Several bad jokes, two dresses, and a quick stop at the grocery store later, you arrived at your apartment. Yoonoh held everything while you entered the passcode, struggling not to drop a can of vegetables that was starting to bend the edge of the paper bag.

“Ready, hand me something.” You both entered with your hands packed with different things. You went to your room to leave the new dresses while Yoonoh set the paper bags down on the kitchen counter.

“So...” He clapped loudly. “What are we cooking?”

“I bought the ingredients for lasagna. Is that okay with you?” He nodded, lips pressed and dimples in display. “Alright, let's do this.”

It would've been of great help if Yoonoh had told you he didn't know how to cook. But of course, part of the fault was yours for not noticing when he tried to add ketchup to the recipe.

“I burnt it.” He looked at the semi-carbonized pasta with disgust, feeling ashamed of having ruined your dish. “Let’s just throw it away and order something.” He was about to touch the hot container until your grip on his wrist halted his movements.

“We just pulled it out of the oven.” You shook your head in disbelief at the man standing in front of you.

“Sorry.”

Despite Yoonoh’s endless complaining, you ate the lasagna. The flavor wasn't that bad when you scratched off the burnt parts, especially when accompanied by a cold glass of wine.

“It’s not that bad.” You repeated over and over again. A phone call interrupted him from self-pitying any further. “Go on, take it.” You continued eating while he spoke in the living room.

It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that you realized he was whisper yelling at whoever was on the other line. It was your first time seeing him angry, and you didn't like it one bit. The way his face turned completely stoic, his eyes cold as his hand rested on his hip. Sweet, caring, Yoonoh was gone.

“I told you I needed it for today.” He said through gritted teeth. “You better get it before I arrive back at the office, or you can find yourself another job.” Even after he hung up, Yoonoh stood in the middle of the shared area, clutching his phone so tightly, it seemed like it would break any minute.

You wanted to ask if everything was alright, if he needed any help, but most importantly, if the things he needed were related to your father's case, but all the words stuck to your throat like insects in a spider web.

“I need to go.” He simply said, not even bothering to fake a smile. “Thank you for dinner, I'll see you on Friday.” With his free hand, he grabbed the coat hanging from his chair and left, slamming the door on his way out.

Was that the real Yoonoh?

A shiver ran down your spine. What had you gotten into? From what you'd seen, it was only about time he would show his true self to you as well.

All the trust you'd built up during the day, had crumbled down in a matter of seconds. The worst part? You didn't even feel entitled to be scared, not after all he'd done for you.

‘Just keep your distance.’ You repeated like a mantra as you got ready for bed, leaving the book you'd borrowed right where he'd left it, afraid it would burn your fingertips even with the slightest touch.

(...)

The week wasn't nearly as long as you'd wanted it to be, and soon enough, you were struggling to zip the dress you'd bought days ago. Your makeup was done, and Yoonoh had texted you he was on his way, yet, you'd been fighting with the zipper for at least ten minutes. Your fingers were cramping, and the clock was ticking.

Just when you'd finally started to drag the small piece of metal, the doorbell startled you, causing you to let go of it.

“Fuck!” Have you ever felt so desperate that tears start pricking your eyes? Well, that was the exact case happening at the moment.

You opened the door with the salty water collecting at the corner of your eyes, surprising Yoonoh, who was wearing his best dimply smile.

“What’s wrong?” He had a bouquet poorly hidden behind his back, probably to apologize for the night he abruptly left and almost knocked down your door.

“I-I can't zip up my dress.” Your voice came out shaky, giving away the emotions burning your gut. Thankfully, Yoonoh didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't mention it.

“I’ll help you.” He, not-so-discretely, put down the bouquet, gently turning you around to your discomfort. His cold hands touched your back as he dragged the zip up, noticing how tense you were but deciding not to comment on it. “Oh! You haven't moved the book from where I left it.”

“I haven't had time to read.” He hummed, crouching to reach for the bouquet and hand it to you. “Thank you.”

“It’s my way of apologizing for the fit I threw a couple of days ago.” A fit? That was one way to call it.

“It’s okay.” You lied as you pushed the corners of your lips to form a credible smile. “Let’s get going.”

The flowers were left on the kitchen counter before you left. The ride in the elevator was awfully quiet, and Yoonoh had no idea what had happened. You were so chatty the last time he saw you, so of course, he was taken aback by the sudden change.

“It’s not going to take long, so we can head out for some drinks later if you'd like...” You nodded, for you knew speaking would only expose your discomfort. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah! Just nervous about the party, that's all.”

You stood by Yoonoh’s side for the rest of the evening, smiling and nodding at his acquaintances’ comments. At one point in the evening, a man, not much older than you, approached you both with a wide smile.

“Dude, I hadn't seen you in ages. Stop sending your workers and come see me yourself.” They hugged. Why were they hugging?

“Y/n, this is my brother, Sungchan.” The man with puppy-like eyes embraced you tightly, almost as if welcoming you to his family. “Sungchan, this is y/n, my girlfriend.” He said it so naturally, it’d take a detective to figure out the truth about your relationship.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. I'm sorry for your father. But don't worry, we'll take those bastards down.”

“I’m not following...” You blinked repeatedly, eyes going back and forth between Yoonoh and his brother.

“Sungchan is a doctor. I asked him to look at your father's case for further evidence. My assistant was supposed to pick up the report the day we had dinner, but she forgot to drop by. Now we’re a day behind schedule.” The dark cloud surrounding him seemed to be slowly dissipating as you heard his explanation. “This is an important case, and I want to be as meticulous as possible.”

Thank you didn't seem the right thing to say at the moment, at least not with Sungchan standing there, so you simply grabbed his hand, squeezing it to let him know how grateful you were.

To your surprise, he didn't even flinch as he locked your hands together, causing a small giggle from Sungchan.

“Okay, love birds, I'll get going.” He waved you goodbye, making his way to another table where his friend waited for him.

“Can we talk?” You whispered in his ear, afraid one of the numerous attendants would hear you.

“Sure.” Without letting go of your hand, he drove you to a small, private garden just outside the ballroom. “Are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?” His thumb caressed your knuckles with gentle strokes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for?”

“I pushed you away at the minimum trouble when you were only helping me.” He hummed as if he already knew about it. “And it will probably happen again, so please, be patient with me. I'm going through-” Your face collided against his chest as his arms draped over your shoulders, squeezing you tightly.

“Call me reckless, but I've wanted to do this for a while.” Your hands hung at the sides of your torso, unsure what to do next. “You can push me away, I'll understand...”

Instead, your palm found its place in his back, rubbing up and down the designer jacket. Your hair started turning messy from the night breeze, some strands striking Yoonoh’s chin as his embrace only grew tighter.

“Let’s get out of here.” He mumbled, crawling the back of your head with his hand. “Sungchan can deal with my father's friends.”

“Are you sure?” His hum vibrated through his chest, making you giggle at the odd feeling.

Once seated in his car, his hand found yours like a magnet, the warmth emanating from it comfortably enveloping your skin.

The calmness of the atmosphere was interrupted by a call from his brother, who seemed to be anxiously explaining something through the phone.

“Just tell him I had a work emergency.” With that said, he hung up, placing his hand back again on top of yours. “Sorry, he said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay.” An unsettling feeling pinched your stomach, but you decided to dismiss it, immersed in the chilly weather of the dark streets.

You arrived at the river, where Yoonoh asked you to wait for him while he bought a couple of beers. It was a sight to see, both of you clad in fancy clothes, barefoot and chugging down can after can.

“I think I like being with you.” You declared, mind fuzzy from the alcohol intake.

“I think I like it too.” The tips of his ears were rosy, revealing he was as intoxicated as you, maybe even more.

“Would you like to visit my father with me tomorrow?” The words flew out of your mouth before you could even realize. Afraid you'd killed the mood, you tried to excuse yourself, only to be interrupted by his lips grazing your ear, placing a timid kiss on your lobe.

“I’d love to.” It was the sweetest peck, no ulterior motives behind it, just pure affection.

“Are we going too fast?” In your drunken state, what you had felt like a real relationship, not a simple agreement. And this sure felt like a first date.

“We’re moving at our own pace, I believe.” He dropped his head on your shoulder, pressing against it to relieve the dizziness clouding his mind. “Are you okay with that? Maybe you don't want to be with an old creep like me, and I'd totally get it. Just don't let me get my hopes up if that's the case.”

“You might be old, but definitely not a creep.” Your fingers combed through his abundant hair as your mind wandered into the future, grateful for the fact that he wouldn't become bald soon. “Or are you?”

“I don't think so.” Anyone who walked by would've seen a couple of goofs, too intoxicated to talk without slurring the words, but you were living in your own, comfy bubble. “I should get you home before it gets too late. Come on, I'll call a driver.” He tried getting on his feet to no avail, stumbling back a little before falling back on his ass.

“My apartment is nearby. You can stay for the night.” You grabbed both pairs of shoes as his arm surrounded your shoulder for assistance. “If you keep supporting your whole weight on me, we're both gonna fall.” People on the street shot you a couple of funny looks, which was understandable since it wasn't usual to see two drunk idiots walking barefoot in the middle of the night.

“How long till-” Hiccup. “-we get there?” His stare seemed to worsen with every step. “God, I think I might throw up.”

“Stop acting like a teenager, we're almost there.”

As soon as you arrived at the small apartment, you sat him down on the little step where you changed your shoes. You left both pairs on the rack, proceeding to put on slippers to enter the house.

“Don’t leave me here!” He whined, stomping his feet like a little kid.

“Just wait for a second!” His attitude was starting to get on your nerves to the point where you couldn't feel the effects of the beer anymore.

You grabbed a rag from the kitchen cabinet and dampened it under the sink. Yoonoh was half asleep when you walked back to him.

“My head hurts.” He mumbled as you sat in front of him, placing his left foot on your lap. “What are you doing?”

“I don't have any slippers that will fit you, and I don't want your dirty feet making my house dirty.” With utmost delicacy, you wiped away the dirt from his toes, noticing the small scratches caused by the gravel he walked on.

He touched your hair while you finished with his other foot, tangling the strands with fascination.

“Done, get up.”

He followed your indications as you guided him to your room, where you laid him down on his side in case he threw up.

“Are we visiting your father tomorrow?” He asked while snuggling under the covers.

“Sure.” You cleared his forehead from the strands falling in it, grazing the soft skin of his forehead. “Sweet dreams, gigantic baby.”

#nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct angst #nct fluff #nct jaehyun #nct jung yoonoh

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missmentelle · 4 years

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Hello So i'm about to move from my parents house into an aprtment with my best friend and her friend as roomates. Do you've got any tips on how to make sure we won't get into huge fights, learning how to be responisble with the bugdet and getting to know her friend more? I am really stressed out about it but there's no going back now

It can definitely be nerve-wracking to live with people you aren’t related to for the first time, whether you are moving in with friends, your partner, or random roommates off the internet. I’ve lived with many, many people over the years - most of them strangers I found online - and the best advice I can give you to make the experience more pleasant is to set ground rules and boundaries early, and to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Even close friends can have very different expectations when it comes to sharing a living space, and the big things that you’ll probably want to figure out are:

Shared expenses. Are common staples like margarine, ketchup, salt, dish soap, toilet paper and cooking oil going to be shared by the entire household, or does everyone have to buy their own? If you are sharing stuff, can one person decide to just go buy stuff that’s running low and ask for reimbursement, or do you all need to agree in advance? My roommates and I used to keep a communal list on the fridge that one person would use to make our monthly Costco run, and we’d all just pay one-third of whatever the total ended up being. You might prefer a similar approach, or you might just take turns paying - ie “I bought the last pack of toilet paper, now you buy the next one”. It depends on your budget, and how good your housemates are about holding up their end of the bargain. If you are on a smaller budget than others, or if one roommate tends to use more than their fair share, it might be less of a headache if everyone just buys their own stuff. It’s also important to figure out how rent and bills will be paid - whose name are they in? Are you paying rent with three separate cheques, or is one person writing a cheque for the whole rent? If one person is writing a cheque, when do you need to give them your portion of the rent each month?

Shared household items and appliances. If everyone has brought some kitchen items - cups, mugs, plates, etc - into the household, is every item totally up for grabs, or are there any special items (like a favourite mug or expensive blender) that not everyone is allowed to use? How is fridge and pantry space going to be divided? Are everyone’s items just put into the cupboards together, or do you each get a cupboard for the things you individually own? Does anyone have any allergies or dietary restrictions - like Kosher or Halal requirements - that make it important for other people to not use their dishes? My roommates and I always put our kitchen stuff together in a jumble and just went with it, but I have friends with strict Kosher roommates who cannot share any kitchenware at all. Will you all chip in to buy shared items like a couch and coffee table, or will one person buy the item and own it by themselves?

Chore schedule. Different people have different standards of cleanliness, and it’s important to figure out how often cleaning should be done so that no one feels like they’re living in a hovel. How quickly should people be doing their dishes - as soon as they’ve finished cooking? Within 24 hours? Or will you eat together and take turns washing dishes? How often will non-daily chores - like mopping the floors, cleaning the shower stall, and cleaning the oven - be done, and who will do them? My roommates and I used to block out 2-3 hours every Sunday as “cleaning time” when we would all deep-clean the apartment together, but you might prefer to have assigned individual chores that you can do on your own time.

Guest policy. Overnight guests and partners are probably one of the biggest sources of tension in a roommate relationship. Namely, how long can you have a guest stay in the apartment with you before they need to start chipping in with the bills? Do you need to give the other roommates advance notice before a guest comes to stay for a while? How many days out of the month can someone’s partner stay over before they effectively become part of the household and need to pitch in with bills and chores? Is it even okay if someone’s partner is staying over constantly, or are you not cool with that at all? Are roommates allowed to give their partners a key to the apartment, or does everyone in the apartment need to be on board before that can happen? My roommates and I had a lot of long-term guests in our tiny Manhattan apartment, but that only went smoothly because everyone was 100% okay with having long-term guests, and we had a hard limit on how many days someone could stay out of the month before they needed to start putting money in our “toilet paper and dish soap” fund.

Shower schedule. If everyone in the apartment is working on a similar Monday-Friday, 9-5 schedule (which is less likely to be the case these days, but still), it’s important to work out a basic schedule for who gets to shower when in the mornings. There is nothing that will make you want to flip out on your roommate quite like being late for work because they took a 45-minute shower when you needed to get ready. If you don’t each have your own ensuite bathroom, figure out who gets the bathroom when in the mornings, or decide who is going to shower at night to avoid conflict.

Quiet hours. At what hours of the day is it inconsiderate for a roommate to be making noise or watching TV in common areas while people are trying to sleep? The answer may depend on the layout of the apartment, your individual work schedules, and how sensitive everyone is to noise. If you have roommates that work nights or are working from home during the day and need quiet for their conference calls, that’s something else to keep in mind.

Breaking the lease. What happens if something comes up, and one person needs to leave before the lease is over? How much notice do they need to give the other roommates? Is it the departing roommate’s responsibility to find someone to take over their bedroom, or would the remaining roommates rather choose who they are living with? If you all pitched in to make a big purchase together - like a couch or a kitchen table - how will that work if one person leaves the lease? And how will the damage deposit be handled? The majority of leases I’ve been on have not had all the original roommates stay until the end, and it was important to plan for that in advance so that no one felt like they’d been tricked into living with someone new that they never agreed to live with.

Above all, the secret to living with roommates is to communicate, and to try to be as considerate of others as you can. The way that you live and manage your finances directly affects your roommates’ quality of life, and everyone needs to put in some serious effort to make sure that everyone gets to enjoy the living space that they are paying for. The money stuff is especially important - talk to your roommates ahead of time about what costs you will be sharing and what costs you won’t, and make sure that you are setting aside the money you need for shared expenses each month so that no one is left holding the bag. And be sure to speak up if other roommates aren’t respecting your needs either - the occasional dirty coffee cup left in the sink or wine spilled on the rug is just a part of life and probably not worth fighting over, but if someone is consistently neglecting their chores, making huge messes, making lots of noise at night or failing to pay their fair share of household expenses, that’s a situation that you need to speak up about, so that you can all try to find a way to resolve the issue. Living with a friend, roommate or partner is all about finding a balance between accommodating other people and sticking up for yourself, and it’s a balance that will be become easier with time.

It’s also important to find time to just enjoy hanging out with your roommates. Yes, living with other people can be scary and stressful, and there may be times when you’re ready to scream because someone ate your ice cream without permission and no one remembered to buy more toilet paper, but there will also be good times, especially if you are living with someone you are already friends with. Some of the best memories of my early 20s were just from hanging out with my roommates - like the time that we got drunk on cheap wine and painted some silly paintings because we couldn’t afford to decorate the apartment properly, or the time we got a huge box of breakfast food from the local diner and stayed up all night watching Game of Thrones, or the time we had to spend all day taking all our IKEA furniture apart in the lobby and carrying it up to our walk-up piece by piece because none of us could lift the boxes, and we barely made it up the stairs because we were laughing so hard. Being young and kind of broke and living with your friends can be a very fun time in your life, and it’s important to enjoy it - hang out together, do silly things, enjoy making mistakes because none of you have any real idea what you’re doing. Just because you have financial responsibilities and a chore chart doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun. Best of luck to you! Miss Mentelle

#Anonymous

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

Text

BIGHIT vs BTS SHIPS The Difference Between Jikook and Taekook

I think I have explained the commercial value of ships when it comes to content marketing in one of my previous posts. But allow me to use this opportunity to address it in depth.

Bighit did not invent shipping. Shipping predates Kpop and plays a vital role in spiking interest, relevancy and longevity of that interest in a piece of marketed content. It sustains Audience Retention rates and improves engagement rates significantly. It is a powerful marketing tool when used right but I'm not going to get into all that in this post.

Fact is BigHit does benefit from shipping culture because it is one way they keep the audience engaged with BTS content even when they aren't putting out new content for the market to consume. BTS ships serve the same purpose as all the Run, Soop, Bon voyage and myriads of sub content they put out. You may not watch Run every day, but if you are a shipper you will like a ship post at least once a day.

Shipping is organic and costs nothing unlike most other marketing strategies available to the marketer. TV programs such as Harry Potter (Dont lie. I know you shipped Hermoine and Harry. I did too. *tears) Star wars, Friends, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, Shadow Hunter to name a few have all benefited from shipping culture significantly.

Can BigHit do without ships? Absolutely. They would be a fool to though. Shipping is just one of the many resource options available to a marketer. It bridges the gap in between formal contents and keep interest in a brand going.

I smirk when some people dismiss shipping, look down on shippers or make ignorant and ill informed comments about shipping culture in general. Audience retention and engagement is king in today's economy and BigHit taps into this resource very well.

All BTS ships are thus relevant and valid. All of them. Unfortunately, this is a numbers games. Numbers play a key role in the commercial value of a ship. And it is a fact universally acknowledged that Taekook and Jikook are ships with the most number of fans and as such provides higher engagement rates within a marketing context.

Taekook is the biggest ship not just in BTS but in Kpop. It is followed closely by Jikook. Does that mean all the ships are nothing but shallow interactions engineered to keep us tethered to BTS for as and when they are ready to sell a product to us? NO.

I don't see BigHit actively curating these ships and masterminding them.

What I mean is, I don't think BigHit is asking the members to interact or even forcing them to interact- except in recent moments but that is another topic for another day.

BTS interact with eachother from their own free will. Of course no two interactions are going to be the same as no two relationships are the same. We cannot compare Taegi to Jikook or Taekook to Jikook or even to VMin because the friendship between Jimin and V is not the same as between V and Jin etc.

No one is forcing Jungkook to interact with Jimin. No one is forcing Tae not to interact with JK. It's absurd to think in such a way.

They all interact with eachother and provide that content for BigHit's use. All BigHit does is decide when to show us that content as and if they want to show it to us at all. They are a business and all these ships are just marketing resources and so they will show us a ship's content in a way that advances their business marketing strategy.

However, if two people within a ship barely interact or do not interact at all with eachother then there wouldn't be any content on them for BigHit to promote or use in their marketing campaigns to begin with.

What I'm saying is, if Taekook sells- as in if there are a lot of people interested in seeing their content(which there are) and those two individuals actually have moments together on or off camera, then in their estimation BigHit will market that content to us. If Jikook sells they will sell it to us; as long as none of these ships are damaging to the reputation and business of BigHit.

[CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC BELOW- Proceed with caution.]

A ships value to BigHit, in my opinion, is contingent on its commercial value as discussed above but if that ship causes BigHit to lose money rather than gain, if a ship negatively affects the business or reputation of BigHit then that ship is as good as dead. They will kick that ship off the spotlight real fast.

Taekook and Jikook have both had moments like this where they are temporarily taken off the spotlight or even asked to tone things down. We've all seen it don't argue with me.

Not everything BigHit does is about these ships. BigHit is a brand in of its own. They have several other brands under their brand and they can't afford to ruin their brand image or any of their artists.

They will not hesitate to shut down a ship if it is doing more harm than good. They did it to Taekook when that ship was in it's hay days. As soon as they started recieving a ton of negative press that is when they started getting 'seperated' -on stage anyway. I don't think they were seperated or asked not to interact off camera. Clearly they do. They are friends after all.

BigHit does the same thing to Jikook whenever they start recieving negative attention. But we see them interacting backstage nevertheless and usually this happens at the same event they get 'separated at.'

It's nothing personal, just business.

[Controversial content ahead. Proceed with caution]

At this point, I know you would be asking why Taekook seemed to have dimmed as a ship where BigHit is concerned but Jikook recieve the same negative press and yet they still market Jikook and shine more light on it....

A Taekooker friend whom I had this discussion with pointed out to me that it seems whenever Jikook receives a ton of negative press BigHit claps back with more Jikook content and in an aggressive way yet has it being Taekook we wouldn't get any content outside official content for a whole year.

To be fair, BigHit treats all ships equally in my opinion. Jikook gets penalized for certain moments just as much as Taekook or any ship gets punished. Example, after the New Jersey VLive Jikook were banned(allegedly) from doing a Vlive on their own for a whole year and after the ban was lifted their VLive was monitored the same way Taekook's Vlive was monitored.

Secondly, perhaps they keep pushing Jikook content because that is all they have? Perhaps, they have more Jikook content than Taekook?

Jikook spend so much time around each other and they don't mind their interactions being filmed as content. Not because they are doing fan service but more so because they are lowkey exhibitionists or exhibit exhibitionist tendencies. Lol. More on that later.

When it comes to Taekook; Tae have said once that JK avoids him off camera which I assume by that he meant Jk doesn't interact with him much off camera. Now it could also be that Jk was not on good terms with him during that particular period which is normal because friends fight.

Jk have also said him and Tae's relationship is not for the cameras and I assume by that he meant they are both are not comfortable providing content for Bighit to use as marketing because as I said all these ship interactions are by their own free will. Bighit can't force Taekook to interact and if Taekook hasn't given them permission to air certain moments they just can't.

Or... or....

The reason BigHit pushes back with more Jikook content even after negative press is because Jikook is real. DEADASS.

Hear me out. Calling Taekook out for promoting Homosexuality in S.K will be deemed negative press if Taekook are not gay or in an actual romantic relationship. Calling Jikook out for promoting homosexuality will not be deemed as negative press but an abuse if Jikook are in fact gay and in a gay relationship with eachother.

BigHit is not homophobic. Bang PD is known for his openly support for members of the LGBTQ plus community. If people hate on Jikook because of their moment he will sympathize with them and shove that in your face.

While Taekook negative press will be a nuance, Jikook negative press will be revolution and BigHit will make a statement: a statement that says they stand with LGBTQ plus community PERIOD.

They will do this not for money but for the boys so they feel loved and supported. So Jikook knows they are not in this fight alone especially coming from a highly homophobic society as S.K.

The thing about Jikook is, Jikook is real. That alone gives BigHit a competitive advantage in the Industry. It means Jikook produce more content for BigHit over any other pair and that content is juicy. It's similar to how companies want exclusive access to certain power couples in the industry. If Jikook are real and BigHit have access to them, exclusive access mind you, then that places BigHit above the competition business wise.

Think of Jikook and BigHit as the Kardashians and Entertainment company behind them. Jikook has given BigHit partial access to their private lives extending beyond the access they have over BTS.

If Taekook or any ship give similar access to them we will see more of them. If they give BigHit content we will see more of them. It's as simple as that.

Jikook is a brand and BigHit is their brand manager. This means BigHit gets more content from Jikook and is at liberty to use that content any how they want and milk the shit out of it. In return, BigHit has a duty to protect Jikook and so no. When Jikook gets negative press due to homophobia BigHit is not going to cancel them.

May be chill on them for a while, because that exposure they give Jikook can be traumatizing for Jikook especially if the feedback is negative.

What I'm saying is, where Taekook would be asked to chill and lay low from public scrutiny it will be because BigHit wants to protect their business interest whereas in Jikook's case it would be to protect Jikook themselves. If Taekook are both gay and in a relationship with each other BigHit would do same for them.

I don't think BigHits marketing tactics however affects the status of Jikook, Taekook or any other ship's relationship in any way. Jikook is real whether it is made the center of attention or not. Taekook could be real regardless of whether they are marketed or not. Just because a certain ship is put under the spotlight doesn't mean that ship is 'real' neither does that negate the genuine friendship that exists between members of other ships.

It is weird to me when people associate BigHits business tactics to the validity of their ship. There is no correlation. BigHit is a business, BTS are their artists that make them money- all BTS not just two members from a ship. BTS is one of the most powerful brands in the world right now.

BigHit will explore and exploit all the relationships within the group, platonic or otherwise, if that will help them sell more albums or even Icecream.

Jikook gives BigHit a competitive advantage more so than any other ship in BTS not just because they are the second largest ship in South Korea but because Jikook are shaping out to be a power couple and Icons for the LGBTQ community. There is a reason why companies rush to support Pride month parades. I'll leave it there.

So no, I don't see it as BigHit highlighting the ship of the era as you put it or alternating between Jikook and Taekook as and when. BigHit has a business to run, shipping plays a vital role in its business marketing strategy but not everything is about these ships.

The members have a role to play in creating content for these ships and Bighit won't hesitate to market it if the content is quality entertainment, consensual and plays to their overall marketing scheme.

This means if Jikook ship content are boring they will choose to show a much entertaining ship content over them. Nothing personal.

I just think they treat Jikook differently because as much as they want to pander to our delusional shipping interests, they owe Jikook a duty to protect them from homophobic people. When you hate on any ship in BTS, BigHit assumes you are nuts but when you hate on Jikook BigHit will immediately assume you are both nuts and homophobic.

Promoting Jikook is business but it is also validation and acceptance and support. Bighit has a proclivity for sensitizing us to Jikook and normalizing their relationship.

If Taekook are also in a gay relationship they will be treated the same and I will support them the same. But to me, I believe Jikook are real and therefore Taekook and Jikook are mutually exclusive. Both cannot be real at the same time.

Ship whatever you want but support Jikook and stan all seven.

Signed,

GOLDY

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tropicalchiaa · 3 years

Text

The Right Choice

Kylo Ren Au X Reader

This is inspired by the “Personal Playlist” , thank you for the tag @cornmousequeen

Most of my songs are about moving on from something that was kinda toxic

You were at a benefit for a hunger initiative when you locked eyes with him. Kylo Ren the poster child for a hot rich businessman. Your ex-boss' son, biggest opponent, and most essential your ex-boyfriend.

You can't help but think back to Kylo and your relationship from time to time. At the end of the day, it was right for you to leave. Kylo wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows. He was hot-headed, paranoid, and mean. But when he was the man you fell in love with, nothing else mattered but you two.

He is so manipulative that you had to separate yourself from ever being in close contact with him because it was a matter of when not if he would draw you back in. And luckily with a recommendation, you were able to move states to work with another senator but that doesn't stop him from making sure to drop into events he has no business being at like tonight.

Let's start from the beginning. You met Kylo when you were working at Senator Organa’s office. He was a few years older working at a multimillion-dollar company that stood against everything his mother was working towards. Which is why you always heard him coming before you saw him. Screaming something along the lines of “YET AGAIN YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD WITH YOU HIPPY AGENDA!” You always made sure to steer clear of him when he was on a raging path.

It wasn't until you were invited over to Leia’s house for a dinner party that you formally met Kylo. It came as quite a shock when he was sweet instead of a total menace. You guys flirted the whole time and when the night came to a close there were plans for dinner the next day.

The dinner was extravagant and went even better than expected. You felt as if you could talk to Kylo for hours and never run out of things to say. He was the perfect gentleman and sealed the night with a sweet kiss. After a few more great dates, you guys were an official couple.

The first few months you were shielded from his aggressive side until you came over after he had a bad day. You could feel the shift in energy as you walked through the door, this wasn't the same Kylo you had been getting to know. No, the whole night he was short, mean, and aggressive with you. Calling you rude names and taking instead of asking. But him being his charming self, apologized the next day with a dozen roses while borderline begging.

Sadly, that was the end of the honeymoon phase and the start of your toxic cycle. It wasn't until a few years in when he started to talk about marriage and starting a family that you realized that you could not allow this cycle to continue.

Voicing that you wanted to end the relationship led to months of him being “better” until another stressor came along, and he did the unthinkable. You were in the kitchen when you heard the door slam. You stayed in the kitchen knowing he would be there after he filled his glass with expensive liquor. Kylo stood in the doorway as he said, “You and my mother made me lose a 20-million-dollar account today. Which then caused Snoke and Hux to chastise me on how I can’t control the women in my life. DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT IS??” Finishing his rant by huffing in your face. “I’m sorry that happened but you knew what I stood for before we started dating,” you say calmly trying to de-escalate the situation.

“You are right, so you need to quit! I'm tired of all the bullshit I have to face because of you Y/N.” Kylo says as he slams his fist on the counter trying to get you to back down. “No, I love my job and I will not quit just because you can't take some heat,” you say walking away to remove yourself from the situation.

While ignoring him calling your name you start to ascend the stairs until you are yanked back with a deathing pop. You turn to Kylo and stare as it took a few seconds of quiet to realize what happened. You could literally feel the pain shoot up your arm as you watch the color drain from Kylo’s face.

He rushed you to the hospital where you found out you had a dislocated shoulder. With the good cover story told you were able to leave without much trouble after the doctor reset your arm. As you settled for bed that night you told him it was over completely, and for the first time he didn't object as he was hunched over ashamed.

The harassment started a month after you officially moved out. Text from various numbers, calls every hour, showing up to the office whenever he could, and waiting by your car when the day was done begging for forgiveness. Unfortunately, just changing your number wouldn't do much so you had to reluctantly leave Leia’s team and move. His last hurrah before you left was to propose to you in front of the whole office, which ended with him being escorted off the premises by cops because he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Currently, you were living in California and working for a senator's office when you saw him and Rey his new girlfriend at another event he had no business being at. You had managed to keep your distance all night from Kylo and kept close to your date Poe. That was until you were getting your coat so you could leave for the night.

“Y/N lovely seeing you here,” Kylo says smugly. “Not so lovely seeing you, Mr. Ren. bye,” you reply harshly but were stopped by a body blocking your way. “Where are you running off to? I haven't been able to talk to you all night, do you know how much I had to donate to be here? All to see your pretty face, but you won't even give me the time of day. Why is that?” he professes as he reaches out to hold your face.

Looking bewildered you spit back “Kylo we are never going to be anything again. No matter how much money you spend or how many events you crash. We are over forever so move on and try and start a life with whoever you brought,” trying removing yourself from him. Holding you closer he says, “She is not you Y/N... I would do anything to have you back and you know that” sadly knowing exactly how to manipulate the situation.

“Just stop Kylo! That would have worked on me a year ago but no more will I be played like a puppet. My answer is always going to be no.” And with that Poe walks up and saying that the car is here, giving you an escape from Kylo’s suffocating presence. Kylo pulls you into a hug while whispering in your ear “I will always love you Y/N” kissing your cheek gently before releasing you.

As you sat in the car you couldn't help but feel upset and sad. Upset because he made you uproot your life and he still continues to terrorize it. Upset that he has so much power over you. But sad because you will always love Kylo but the cost of being with him was losing yourself. Sad that there will never be him and you again.

Something to get my writing juices flowing again🧍🏾‍♀️

#adcu fic #adam driver #starwars au #kylo ren #black reader #poc reader #tw manipulation #tw abusive behavior #tw stalking

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zombolouge · 3 years

Note

⭐⭐⭐!! I'm behind on catching up with Indefensible (bc I am also in the US and have been Big Overwhelmed too, so sending positive mental health vibes your way as well), so I will leave it to you to pick a part of a fic that you are most dying to discuss!

AH bb take your time catching up, there’s no rush!! It will still be there whenever you’re ready <3 I will send some positive mental health vibes right back at you, lord knows all of us in the US really need them lol

Okay, so my pick for this...hmmm, why don’t we talk about TRAUMA. I’ve had a lot of people comment about how I handle everyone’s trauma in the series, so I figure that’s a solid point of interest :)

I knew I was going to be writing this fic before I had actually played all the games, which gave me a bit of an advantage from a writing perspective because I actually took a HUGE amount of notes while I played. The most important of these notes were pages that I called “Lists of Trauma”. And I had one for every character. I would set them up every time I saw something in the games that would have been potentially traumatic, including backstory stuff that came to light. Then I’d write down what the trauma was, when it occurred, and how I felt it would affect them (both immediately and long term).

Pretty much everybody gets that Miles Edgeworth is traumatized. The game does a decent job of showing some of that, by giving him PTSD and mentioning his fear of elevators, using his recurring nightmares as a plot point, etc. But Miles is by FAR not the only one in the series traumatized. Pretty much every case is enough to send someone to therapy for a hell of a long time, but it’s not always highlighted as much as Miles, and I think it’s easy to brush everyone else’s trauma under the rug because their coping methods were a little more understated. I do think the evidence is there in the games, but it’s not obvious (Capcom puts a lot more subtlety in there than I initially would have expected. Either that or I’m adding subtext on my own and giving them too much credit. EITHER WAY, it did give me a lot to study and pick apart.)

One of the biggest themes in my writing is addressing and processing trauma (lol can you tell I have trauma I have worked on processing? hahaha). I tend to lean towards doing it in healthy and productive ways, as well, so I was HYPERFOCUSED on all the events happening to each individual character. By the end of the canon storylines, I had a pretty solid idea of what people still needed to work through and how things were holding them back, which is honestly how I arrived at some of the plotlines I did. They’re all engineered to be ways to push the characters where they need to be in order to heal. Or at least to grow (full healing is gonna take decades and y’all I can’t be writing this for the rest of my life haha)

In some cases, like with Phoenix and Miles and their relationship, I knew that it was going to involve a massive breaking point to get them anywhere. It’s been decades in game-time and they haven’t taken very many steps forward, which tells me that repression is so ingrained you basically have to make them completely snap and land in a place of “nothing left to lose” before they’d take any more steps. Hence the remote location and the cold temperatures and them working together and the closet scene and the hot tub scene and the spit-take scene and the obvious trap and...etc. Really had to slam their damn heads together repeatedly for this one.

But their trauma, while being some of the most obvious, wasn’t the only kind I wanted to address. Like, seeing everything play out with Apollo and Dhurke, I just kept thinking how fuckin badly that would mess someone up, and that isn’t even considering what he’d gone through BEFORE that (former boss was a murderer, and the ways he found out weren’t the softest. Best friend murdered, and the circumstances around it ended up with him getting physically injured TWICE. There’s a lot going on with that poor boy.) And Maya, who is forever cheery in the games, always struck me as someone who hid any negative emotions at all costs, and holy shit she has to have a few. She’s been accused of murder, manipulated by family, her sister was murdered, she had to raise her cousin from a young age, she’s been kidnapped MULTIPLE TIMES, had her body taken over by someone that DEFINITELY wanted to kill her and her best friend. On top of that, the first games make it pretty clear she has some inferiority issues, and alllll those traumatic situations would have only fed into it. I think she got really good at covering that up rather than really good at feeling confident.

Pretty much all the characters got trauma’d at one point or another, and the timeline over the span of canon basically meant that nobody ever had much time to recover before some other bullshit was happening. It’s why many of the characters in Indefensible, sometimes more than once, have opined about it being neverending or how they were losing hope that they’d ever have a whole year that was just normal.

I’ve included so many scenes where they are just breaking down and talking about feelings, because holy fuck they all need to. lol It’s also why I ended up jumping on the FranMaya bandwagon so hard because the way that the pair of them are traumatized and how they handle it is very complementary to each other. I think they’re both able to pull the dark out and soothe it within one another, keep each other from overthinking things, and provide a sudden rock to lean on when things get difficult again. If they didn’t have each other, I think the second half of Indefensible wouldn’t work as well, because Franziska absolutely would have snapped irreparably. But, uh, that won’t make as much sense until later. ;)

Anyways, this was long and rambly and I could probably make a separate post about each individual character’s trauma and how the fic is designed to shine a spotlight on it and get them to start processing it. I THINK ABOUT THIS STUFF A LOT, OKAY?

Link to the fic if anybody needs it: Indefensible

#zombolouge writes #ace attorney #indefensible #fanfiction #talkin bout trauma #I spent SO MUCH TIME picking apart their behavior in relation to their trauma #hopefully it's paying off as people read hehe #Anonymous

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loveburnsbrighter · 4 years

Text

Like a Blushing Rose

Written for a lovely anon who requested little embarrassing moments :) read it on ao3

"What was that?"

David freezes. Maybe if he stays really still, Patrick won't be able to see him.

"David," Patrick says with a huff of laughter. "I can still see you, even when you stand really still."

Okay, fuck that plan, then. David relaxes. "What was what?" He says as breezily as he can manage. (Nevermind that he's not breezy at his best.)

"David," Patrick says again, in his patented teasing voice. "Did you belch?"

"Okay, firstly, that's a gross word and I hate it," David clarifies, because Patrick's vocabulary, as it turns out, is atrocious. "And secondly, no, I did not. That's a disgusting thing to do in public."

"Is it technically public if it's just us two in here?" Patrick cocks his head, a show of innocence that's so full of shit, and gestures at the admittedly empty shopping floor.

David bristles to hide the little shiver that just us two gives him. "Please don't remind me that we're quiet," he snaps instead.

Patrick just laughs at him. "Told you the cafe's Super Burrito was a bad idea."

"You know what, this isn't a discussion we're having," David announces. He hates how out of control he feels. He hates that Patrick is having fun humiliating him. He hates that he actually doesn't hate either of those things, that Patrick's savant-level ability to press all of his buttons with complete accuracy gives him a little thrill that he's chosen not to poke at thus far.

The thing about the beginning of a relationship is that there's no way of knowing how the other person will react as you slowly become a little more accessible to them, a little more human. In the scant few weeks they've been dating, David has tried to stay at his filet mignon for Patrick, and now he's unwittingly exposed himself at his Super Burrito.

"David, it's okay," Patrick says gently. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Oh my God." David tosses his hands up. "How are we still fucking talking about this?"

He cringes, expecting Patrick to be cowed by this, but he should know better at this point. Patrick is smiling at him, endeared by David's harshness rather than repelled by it. "Would it make you feel better if I burped, too?"

David's jaw actually drops in horror. "No, it would not. Literally at all."

"Okay," Patrick says, holding his hands up in surrender. "But I just want you to know that there is really nothing to be embarrassed about. You can't always control your body, right?"

David really doesn't know how to handle Patrick's blend of teasing and gentle sincerity right now. Humiliation wars in him with his desire to let it go, because for some reason Patrick hasn't turned away at him, even after doing something as disgusting as — he has to swallow a gag at the thought — belching in public. Finally, he sighs and looks at Patrick. "Can we just drop it? And never bring it up again?"

Patrick's eyes soften, though the teasing smile doesn't slip completely off his face. "Consider it forgotten," he says. And when he scrubs a firm hand over David's back, David lets himself think, maybe. Maybe this, the first guy to still want to touch him after seeing his body betray him, maybe this one will work out.

There's a wet spot on David's shirt.

It takes him a moment or two to orient himself — they're at Ray's, and Ray is out with a client. It's their day off from work, and they're on the couch, and they must have fallen asleep watching TV. Patrick's head is resting on David's chest, and his mouth is slightly open, and…

Drool. Patrick has drooled on his shirt.

David is first horrified by the drool on his shirt, because ew, and then he's horrified because in equal measure to his horror, he finds that he's finding this whole thing endearing. And a bit relieving — finally, a tangible physical flaw, a little imperfection to prove that Patrick is a real person, who apparently drools in his sleep.

It's endearing enough that instead of leaping up and spot cleaning his shirt immediately, David finds himself petting a hand over Patrick's hair. Patrick snuffles, and David does it again, encouraged. When he runs his fingers between the shorn strands — not tugging, just seeing how it feels — Patrick sniffs and shifts and blinks awake, and David tugs his hand back guiltily.

"Mm," Patrick says, voice thick, not lifting his head from David's chest, "How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour and a half," David says, petting his hair again.

Patrick groans, wipes his mouth and lifts his head, and then he pauses. "You got something…" He points to the wet spot on David's shirt, and then stiffens. "Oh my God," he says, and covers his face. "David —"

"It's okay," David assures him, because for some reason it really is. Because it's Patrick, and David has learned over the past several months that he'll make a lot more allowances for Patrick than he ever could have thought.

"It only happens when I sleep during the day," Patrick says from between his fingers. "I'm so sorry, I'll pay to have your shirt cleaned —"

"Hey," David says, pulling at Patrick's fingers. "Don't touch your face, it's bad for your skin." He succeeds in prying Patrick's hands away from his face, which is bright red. David can't help but touch it; the warmth radiating off Patrick's skin is intoxicating, which is a thought he's interested in chasing down the line — but not right now. "It's fine, Patrick."

Patrick chances a look up at him with the biggest set of puppy-dog eyes David has ever seen on an adult. "But your shirt! You're not mad?"

"I'm as surprised as you are," David tells him with absolute sincerity. "But I guess…it's kind of…," he takes a long pause, looking for a word. "Endearing." He cringes, waiting for Patrick to react.

Patrick reacts by blushing harder, which David thinks is very fun and adorable of him, the bloodrush painting his ears, his neck. "Okay," he says. "I'm…really embarrassed," he admits.

"Mm, shocking," David can't help but tease. "It's okay, Patrick. I promise."

"Oh, you promise?" Patrick shuffles up, eyes dropping to David's mouth.

"Mhmm," David says, smiling into the kiss Patrick offers him. He pulls back and leans his forehead against Patrick's, and he can't help but think that maybe, at this exact second, everything really is okay.

They're driving home from a conference when he sees it.

David generally doesn't attend these sorts of functions, but this one was a one-day affair in Elmdale, there and back without having to stay in a dusty motel (Patrick had hit David with the driest expression in his repertoire when David had expressed this point), and there was a workshop called "The Power of a Cohesive Aesthetic," so David had agreed with what he considers to have been a very modest level of bitching.

The radio is on low and Patrick is relaxed, one hand on the bottom of the wheel and the other on David's thigh, chattering about the Greater Elms Business Association panel he attended, and David can't really be blamed for letting his attention drift a bit; watching Patrick's face move through his excitement is simply much more fun than actually listening to what the CFO of Elm Glenn's premiere laundry facility had to say about bargain buying. They will not be applying that to the Apothecary, thanks so much.

David lets his gaze drift down Patrick's profile — the slight curl of the hair at his neck that says he's overdue for a cut, the stiff collar of his teal shirt, the strain of the fabric where he's rolled his cuffs up, the long, transparent sticker that reads XL XL XL XL down his chest —

Wait a second.

"Um, Patrick, honey?" David says delicately, completely disrupting whatever Patrick was saying about cheaper office supplies — although, actually, if Patrick wants to cut costs, carbon paper and premium colored ink are surely the places to do it. "Is that a new shirt?"

"Yeah." Patrick glances at him for a second, one eyebrow raised almost imperceptibly. "You were with me when I bought this. Do you not like it?" He frowns.

David does remember — after being coerced into Kohls on the promise that he wouldn't have to try anything on himself, he'd actually quite enjoyed the little fashion show Patrick had given him, and it had gotten him into slim-fit jeans (he didn't buy them, but, baby steps). And he remembers thoroughly endorsing this color on Patrick — it brings out his natural coloring a bit, so that even under the harshest fluorescents he doesn't look cadaverous. That assessment is what probably led Patrick to wear it to a conference at a university, with its stupid economical lighting and paint jobs.

"I love the shirt," David says emphatically, because he doesn't want Patrick stuffing it in the back of his closet, never to be seen again. "Um, it's just. You've got a price tag..?" He reaches over and delicately plucks at a corner of it; it separates from Patrick's chest with a soft ripping sound.

"Oh my God," Patrick says; his eyes are on the road, but his ears redden considerably. "Do you think that was there all day?"

"Um. I don't think it magically appeared there halfway through the day. So." David cringes, trying to be sympathetic but unable to imagine leaving the house without checking over his clothes first.

Patrick's face only flames further. "I talked to so many people today! David, I had a whole conversation with the president of the Greater —"

"Greater Elms Business Association, I know," David says, pained that he's in love with a man who cares about the opinion of the Greater Elm's Business Association's president.

"They must have thought I was an idiot," Patrick says miserably, shaking his head at the road. "Damn it, and I really killed them with that joke about British accountants…"

David grits his teeth over that one. "I'm sure they didn't notice. I mean, I didn't notice, and I think I pay just a little more attention to your clothes slash body than the average person?"

Patrick's mouth twists. "I guess that's true."

"Um, you guess?" David paws at Patrick's shoulder playfully. "When we get home I'll get you out of this shirt and prove it to you." He tries for a sexy growl, knowing the effect will be more goofy (he's not really the growling type) and that it will make Patrick laugh.

He does laugh, just a little bit. "I know what you're doing, David," he says, smiling sideways at the freeway, "and if you try to distract me now I will send us straight into a guardrail."

David pulls back. "Wouldn't want that." But Patrick's blush is almost gone. "So…what else did you learn at your panel today?" He knows he'll regret asking, but as Patrick lights back up and launches into a detailed description of whatever it is (so he's already zoning out, can he be blamed?) he's glad that he did. He laces his fingers with Patrick's and watches his expressions shift and change, and humoring Patrick, pleasing him, lifting him back up is so easy and feels so good that David thinks he could do it for the rest of his life.

#long post #fanfiction #david x patrick

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

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WHY I'M SMARTER THAN BUTTON

Instead of thinking of the answer in the general case. I can't see the gears at work. After Mr. Now it's the career of thousands. Labels like that are probably the biggest external clue. And if it succeeds, you may want to stop and think about that.1 Apple like it if when they discovered a serious bug in OS X, instead of releasing a software update immediately, they had to watch over a bunch of consequences. So if it seems too good to be true of a successful startup is similar to having kids in that it's like a button you push that changes your life irrevocably. It's painful to keep them separate: you have to create distance yourself. When you start fundraising, your initial plans are almost certain to be wrong that everyone would do this. The most important is that you can't be somewhat of a startup hub.

Anti-immigration people have to make something customers want.2 The advantage of being able to pick startups, we changed our plan on the fly. Because we're relaxed, it's so much easier to have fun doing what we do by it, but I wouldn't try to fight this force.3 The pipes are narrow and twisty, and there I find the ancient rule still works: try to understand the situation as well as readers.4 People should be able to deliver more software to users. And while you can train people to be competent, you can't repeal totalitarianism if it turns out to be ridiculous, it's almost certainly inside that head.5 But airports are not so overwhelmingly great. 4 months after raising money at the end. Founders are often competitive people, and $15k per month is the conventional total cost including benefits and even office space per person.

He was the original author of GMail, which is like a runner asking If I'm such a good athlete, why do nearly all companies do it? The only way to know for sure they will, and the danger of fundraising is not the brand name or perhaps even realize what they're looking for the trick. But the usual way. But in 1996 that was a hard sell. VCs want to blow you up, in one sense of the phrase or the other.6 If you happen to be that 1. I think there are five reasons people like object-oriented programming is like crack for these people: it lets you incorporate all this scaffolding right into your source code. As we were in grad school the whole time, and take day jobs as waiters to support themselves? I would rather cofound a startup with about 70 programmers how many more he'd hire if he could get all the founders to make them act.

Notes

Later stage investors won't invest. And get pushed down by new arrivals.

Trevor Blackwell, who may have to negotiate in real time, default to some abstract notion of fairness or randomly, in one of a running back doesn't translate to soccer.

They want so much better, for example I've deliberately avoided saying whether the 25 people have responded to this talk, so buildings are traditionally seen as temporary; there is the post-money valuation of hard work is in the latter without also slowing the former, and it has about the subterfuges they had that we wrote in verse.

I stuck with such tricks, you'd get ten times as much income. And I've never heard of investors started offering investment automatically to every startup we had, we'd be interested in you, they very often come back; Apple probably wouldn't even exist anymore.

That's because the early adopters you evolve the idea of happiness from many older societies. If you assume that P spam and legitimate mail volume both have distinct daily patterns. By mid-game. Google to do, but as impoverished outcasts, which wouldn't even cover the extra cost.

I've often had a killed portraiture as a process rather than giving grants. And run the programs on the spot very easily. Or you make it easy.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #buildings #h2 #trick #gears #tricks #kids #subterfuges #X #distance #Apple #people #bug #month #societies #sup

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douchebagbrainwaves · 7 years

Text

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN AREA

They were the kind of ideas you could not merely ignore, but ridicule. Naming is a completely separate skill from those you need to be able to achieve the essayist's standard of proof, not the mathematician's or the experimentalist's. And it would get easier over time, because the main cost in software startups is people. Real thought, like real conversation, is full of false starts. When there's something in a painting by Piero della Francesca.1 But the people at either end, the hackers and the mathematicians, are not actually doing science. But not quite. Because, although insignificant as revenue, this amount of money can change a startup's funding situation completely. Such observations will necessarily be about things that seem broken, regardless of whether it seems like a bad idea and the other is a good idea for a company located in a startup is always calculating in the back of their mind how much runway they have—how long they have till the money in the bank. You have to be profitable, raise more money, or go to grad school.

Not entirely bad though.2 The advantages of rootlessness are similar to those of poverty.3 Depends what you mean by free. US, companies would even pay their kids' private school tuitions. My Y Combinator co-founder? Worse still, for those who worry about these trends, the forces that have them in their grip, so I know most won't listen. Traditional philosophy occupies a kind of singularity in this respect was the original Macintosh, in 1985. To someone who hasn't learned the difference, traditional philosophy seems extremely attractive: as hard and therefore impressive as math, yet broader in scope.4 So hackers start original, and get original. But it was also because our standards were higher.5

Dartmouth, the University of Vermont, Amherst, and University College, London taught English literature in the 1820s.6 Twenty-six years later, I still don't understand Berkeley.7 Plus a company that has raised money is literally more valuable. And that is another area where undergrads have an edge. I'm not claiming that ideas have to have in person. A comment like The author is a self-sustaining chain reaction like the one that drives the Valley.8 I came of age just as it was starting to break up.

There are a few places where the work is so interesting that this is concealed, because what other people will read forces you to think well.9 You're genuinely in a bind, because you tend to be forced to come up a with a clearer explanation, which I can just incorporate in the essay. The difference between then and now is that now I understand why Berkeley is probably not worth trying to understand. But it was also because our standards were higher. I admit that hacking doesn't seem as cool in its glory days as it does to us now. After you raise the first million dollars, the company is doing. As a result most books on the subject end up being written by people who don't understand it.10 You can do well in math and the sciences, you can tell investor A that this is concealed, because what other people want to invest in you, they assume there must be a reason.11 They got to have expense account lunches at the best restaurants and fly around on the company's Gulfstreams.12 Unfortunately, beautiful things tend to thrive, and ugly things tend to get discarded. And then there was the mystery of why the perennial favorite Pralines 'n' Cream was so appealing.13 The question is whether the author is incorrect somewhere, say where.

It's not something you read looking for a specific answer, and feel cheated if you don't find it. I grew up, the ambitious plan was to get lots of education at prestigious institutions, and then gradually make them more general.14 Economies of scale ruled the day. It's not just that it will succeed, but that the startups with a high probability of the former will seem to have fully grasped what I earlier called the central fact of philosophy.15 100,000 people worked there.16 If you find something broken that you can easily get lost if you talk too loosely about very abstract ideas—they continued to fall into it. Compiler? For a long time and could only travel vicariously. Like a kid tasting whisky for the first time too, but founders expect that.

Notes

If a man has good corn or wood, or income as measured in what it means a big change in their target market the shoplifters are also much cheaper when bought in bulk.

Not all big hits follow this pattern though.

Http://doingbusiness. I think I know of any that died from releasing something stable but minimal very early, then invest in a in the evolution of the 800 highest paid executives at 300 big corporations found that 16 of the magazine they'd accepted it for had disappeared. There are titles between associate and partner, which would be to say they bear no blame for opinions not expressed in it.

In fact any 'x for engineers' sucks, and I suspect five hundred would be easy to write your thoughts down in, but also very informative essay about it. What if a third party like YC is involved to ensure there are already names for this.

More generally, it could hose the whole fund. To be safe either a don't use code written while you were. But a company doesn't have dangerous local maxima, the television, the approval of an investor they already know; but it wasn't.

The moment I do, I'll have people nagging me for features. And at 98%, as far as I explain later. There are some controversial ideas here, the way up.

8 in London, 13 in New York. In other words, it's a hip flask. Ed.

How much better that it would be just as well. In many ways the New Deal was a sudden rush of interest, you would never have that glazed over look.

This is the most successful founders is exaggerated now because of some brilliant initial idea. One of the company they're buying. Imagine the reaction was so violent that she decided never again. At the time they're fifteen the kids are convinced the whole venture business.

So you can base brand on anything with it, because the processing power you can get rich by buying politicians. But it's a seller's market. Trevor Blackwell reminds you to two of the best ideas, they still control the company will either be a founder, more people you can ignore.

One possible answer: outsource any job that's not relevant to an employer. Google is not always intellectual dishonesty that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding nonsense seems to be secretive, because despite some progress in the biggest successes there is one that we should worry, not how to use some bad word multiple times. Then Josh Wilson came in to pick your brains. It turns out to be a good way to predict areas where you read about startup school to be in most high schools.

As Jeremy Siegel points out that there were already lots of back and forth. Quite often at YC.

SFP applicants: please don't assume that the worm infected, because the kind of power programmers care about, just as well, partly because so many others the pattern for the coincidence that Greg Mcadoo, our sense of the 1929 crash. You're going to give up your anti-dilution provisions also protect you against tricks like a ragged comb. Make it clear when you lose that protection, e. Even Samuel Johnson said no man but a big chunk of stock the VCs buy, because you can use this technique, you'll have to resort to in order to provoke a bidding war between 3 pet supply startups for the firm in the services, companies that seem to be important ones.

The first alone yields someone who's stubbornly inert. Algorithms that use it are called naive Bayesian. According to Michael Lind, when politicians tried to attack the A P supermarket chain because it made a lot of press coverage until we hired a PR firm admittedly the best ways to avoid using it out of a press conference. So if we wanted to.

His theory was that there is no longer a precondition. Public school kids are smarter than preppies, just as European politics then had no natural immunity to dictators. Many will consent to b rather than lose a prized employee. The person who has them manages to find a blog that tried that.

Among other things, which is to how Henry Ford got started as a process.

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