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#and no one knows whos who really
jrueships · 4 months
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Okay i caved to the questions. welcome to ted's omegaverse except there's like no omegas in the verse. Pls don't kill me
Omegas Exist, but... the sportsworld is far too toxic for most to exist Normally, i mean. Male sports especially, but even the wnba had a streak at the start of their development where it was originally believed that only female alphas would just Barely be strong enough to commit to a sport ( a bad mix of misogyny and secondary hierarchy ) . Male-dominated sports have the similar feel in terms of outdated stances plaguing public opinion, but keep it simpler with ' only Alphas are strong enough for Sport.'
However, this has started to change.
Not in favor of the omega, no, don't be silly! Nothings ever in favor of Them.
It's not Exactly favor of The Beta either, but the betas do at least get to keep their name. You see, betas play fundamental roles in team sports especially. They may not be as valued (not in a star sense, but a 'i need a wheel that'll make this car move (team gain traction/fans) and a beta would be perfect' valuing kind of sense. You're just a worker, but hey! At least you CAN work, right? Unlike The Invaluables.) in independent sports like boxing, but good betas are Critical to a TEAM that needs a Championship -- that needs Roleplayers .
Team rulebook 5. Betas are the Best roleplayers. That's the best fame they'll ever seem to get, it seems.
Although some delusional fans and sometimes gms may try to construct a team of mainly alphas (either a lot of young alpha top picks or veteran alpha players hungry for a win ) for the raw power, intensity, and.. cool factor.. it usually falls apart pretty sadly. They need a mediator, someone who won't get greedy or frustrated with the fame or lack of it. Someone who's willing to pass, willing to come in and be the clog rather than the mechanic, someone who's a Beta whose only sense of belonging Is belonging.
Sports rulebook 6. Betas Stand Second.
Most betas have accepted this before entering a sport, ever since Scottie Pippen embarrassed himself for trying to flip the Beta narrative and failing laughably .
Betas can be bad. Bill Laimbeer will beat the breaks off anyone. They can also be good. Pippen would try to middleman Jordan's frustrations with his team, especially the rups (rookie 'pups', men playfully called pups because they're new to the sport). Shaq and Magic both have humorous charms that make them Feel like alphas.. but they needed more to get a ring. They needed alpha teammates, ultimately. no matter how big or bad or good a Beta may be, they are always Second. But they should never, never be considered first. That's an alpha's job. Orlando made that mistake drafting a beta to win them a ring, a beta that would eventually leave to ringchase with any alpha he could. Shaq's a bit shameless for a beta, but being shameless is maybe the only path to 'fame' (becoming a simple shtick to an easy-to-remember title, either being Sidekick, Dumb, Helpful, Funny, Enforcer, etc) for the life of a beta. Why? Because
Sports rulebook 1. Your Alpha Must Take Over.
Alphas can come in different shapes and sizes. Not all alphas are big and burly. They're not all hyper-confident or aggressive for no reason. But they Do have to come and take over a team. They DO HAVE TO feel possessive over their players, obsessive over their plays. Betas are there just to work, PICKED just to WORK, but alphas? Alphas are different. They Have to be the spark.
Michael Jordan was an alpha who presented very, very late. No one is exactly sure when he presented. Even Michael's story changes from before getting cut in highschool to after to college to the 'flu' game. But Everyone, at one point, thought he was a beta. ( His siblings laugh at this. )And then he wasn't. And then he won. And then he became a dictator .
But, again, there's a lot of alphas that haven't won. Charles Barkley, hilarious and prickly, perhaps too prickly at times, can be his own downfall from either sheer laziness or stubbornness. Some didnt always 'Win' in life like alpha fanboys or alpha egoists might try to persuade. Wilt was great, but personality-wise? .... other alphas like Kareem butted heads with him.. and even betas like Magic would then butt heads with Kareem! Allen Iverson played by his own self-indulgent rules and won through his fashionable impact, self-oriented liberation, and also lost by playing his own self-indulgent rules through trouble with money. Isiah Thomas defends his team and their troubles like a bull, oftentimes a hypocritical.. near-sighted bull. Larry Bird? Competitive. And fucking Rude.
Sports rulebook .....: Alphas Can Be Double-Edged To Either The Team, or Themselves
Alphas whose talent alone failed them by being either not enough, not determined, or entirely different to the subject become disgruntled sports 'analysts' who criticize betas or 'wannabe alphas' aka alphas whose behaviors don't seem 'alpha' enough (too docile). Others become known as busts. Others disappear. Others refuse to give up on their alpha birthright, scratching tooth and nail in the gleague, a disaster league of rups, failed alphas, struggling betas still trying to learn their place, and a few undercover omegas on suppressants. They can bounce around trying to take over team from team, or try to act more like a beta just to gain a secure job, only for their old trained instincts of Stardom to swoop in and make them seem stubborn and selfish (hog the ball during crucial moments). Many become coaches whose attachment to the game is almost parasitic as a purpose. Commentating is another option to fuel that parasocial fire.
You live as an alpha, you die as an alpha. It's a Sport.
That is, until Rodman happened.
Hes not an alpha, some thought he was, during his bulls era. But at the beginning, he was a beta. A gangly pistons player during the dirty work of defense. A beta who blended into whatever his team was, a bad boy, a nitty gritty, a winner, a loser -- whatever his team needed, he became. And then, his team needed him traded.
He started taking more, at first. Started becoming defiant, becoming aggravated. Paranoid at Popovich's overwhelmingly alpha abuse of power, of persistence, of Perception.
Isiah begged him to keep it easy, it's not safe to take so much, it's Untested. It's got side effects, he's seen them from players who wanted to get as far as rodman could but couldn't. They weren't strong like rodman. Another alpha giving him his unsolicited opinion. Bill told him to suck it up. Betas can be so bitter. Pop's yelling. Such a dusty smell, red sand that made your nose itch and not in the fun, just snorted ski slopes way. And now he's gotta deal with Pippen's wary, flipflop scent of calming then chilling hormones soothing then spiking the air as most betas do. And now, he's got Michael telling him to--
... Michael's pouring his pills down the toliet, both his heat suppressants .. and his Rut Inducers. He's skipped from telling and has gone straight to Doing .
One look from the ??? and Rodman realized.
Rodman realized he was tired of wanting to be wanted like a starting alpha but personal enough to be privately pressed like a working beta. Rodman realized a lot of things about himself and others that day. 1. He was tired of always crumbling to others' norms. 2. 'ROIDing' is an action that can be used primarily by athletes because they can afford it. 3. Other athletes besides himself have/can do it. 4. He's just the only one that's made it now known to the world that He is Dennis Rodman, He is an Omega, and He's used ROIDing to void his omega symptoms with suped up suppressants then Replicated Rut with raging inducers & created a Beautifully sensitive Beta, then, increasing both doses heavily, an abstract Alpha.
In short, yeah, he's used ROIDs. But he's stopping now. He's playing completely without the doses. Not too little, not too much, it's done. Zero. Isn't that great? Isn't that what sports always preach in the end? That it's You who wins or loses in the end. Not just your Talent, or your Drive, your Reach, it's You. You, crazy culmination You, who matters ultimately in Your world.
So why is everyone so horrified.
The sport changes after this. A few, just a few, omegas can show now, like, actually Show and not curtain themselves behind overloaded prescriptions. Apparently, even betas could ROID back then with just rut inducers to enhance alpha behavior and appear or Become alphas as long as they continue to doses. But most scrutiny lies in omegas ROIDing into betas, since it's a much easier dose to take in comparison to an omega -> alpha jump, which can have devastating side effects -- the most harmful being mental. Only those determined enough, Insane enough can commit themselves fully without cutting too abruptly and creating even more damage through their hesitancy. And even if the process is completed, the effects may be harsher than expected.
Betas start to become the new scrutinized spotlight, either torn by criticism of doing too much or too little, or skepticism on whether or not they're 'Real'. Alphas, in turn, get desperate to outshine the shiners, whether accomplishing that feat via negative or positive means. It's rumored some have even started turning themselves into Betas now, hard dosing rut suppressants when they're that desperate to try and tame the ego that torments them. Some say it's for the better, some respond brilliantly to the dose, it was made for them, it was Them. Old packs often rip these kind of thoughts to shreds, not caring for empathetic stances, just their black & white view of what was once written. New packs accept the dosing, but the worst of the new packs pick and choose which to, either Everyone Has To or only The Good Ones can. Old players get their legacies questioned because their secondary hierarchy is questioned. Was Magic Really a beta? Or was he a self-conscious, self-compensating omega who craved the lure of feeling needed? And then even went an extra step with the rut inducers to make him a Shiny beta, charismatic enough to peacock? Or was he just that Magic to be a really flashy beta? OR OR.. is magic all of that at once? Maybe, if he did do it, he needed to?
ROIDing is a necessary medicine in sport now, newly designated as necessary using overstimulation risk as a reason to protect too many players from imprisonment & eventual shut down of the sport since suppressants were part of every player ( keeps betas clear-headed and alphas consolable ). But it's still debated by any side a group may conjoin as. The threat of its illegalization is looming. Violence, fear, envy, hatred. Trust no one.
Fuck Everyone ?
oh, yeah, anyone can top or bottom here. That at least remains the same. Positions can just go against the grain in less secret now.. however, that doesn't mean they're all exactly Comfortable to, though .
But you know who's mighty comfy?
Dennis is doing just fine. Eccentric, quiet, grounded, true, omega, stubborn, beta, alpha, callous: Dennis.
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starbuck · 5 months
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i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’
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inkskinned · 9 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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july-19th-club · 1 year
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
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scarlct-vvitch · 2 years
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in honor of ace week id like to shoutout every asexual who first thought they were bi/pan because they looked at all the genders and felt no difference and zero is equal to zero so they said "huh. must be bisexual" and then shoved their sexuality back under the rug for 3-5 years
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anna-scribbles · 7 months
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last one i promise(<—lie)
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hell0mega · 8 months
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it's incredible that tumblr fandom went from DESPERATELY trying to see ANY sort of queer love in the shows we liked, to having shows—high budget, well-made, interesting, mainstream shows staring known actors—that are ABOUT queer love. explicitly, without argument. and just ten years later.
i saw (and reblogged) a post about how GO, ofmd, and wwdits are the new superwholock and i havent stopped thinking about it. cuz i was there, i was in the trenches back in the day. i was there when the writers and actors made fun of us for seeing on screen chemistry and perfect stories to set up romances. they all humored us then shat on us and saw us as a joke. a bunch of weirdo faggy teens that don't think two men can just be friends.
and now look at us. we're seeing the on screen chemistry and it's REAL. it's ON PURPOSE. these ARE romantic stories about queer people. we're not projecting or have wishful thinking... it's TRUE!! it was written and directed and edited and acted that way in earnest. i will take NO SHIT regarding these shows and people's love for them.
and do you know WHY these shows are being made now? these well thought out, feels-real, non-pandering queer stories? it's BECAUSE OF WHAT WE DID ten+ years ago. a lot of queer media never got the green light to be made because execs don't think there's enough of an audience. that more people will dislike the gays than like them. and we've shown them that that's unequivocally untrue. the outcry we had for all those years, the reviews we left, the statements we made, the backlash, it gave show runners ammunition to say "hey. people will watch this. they will like it. let us make it."
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egophiliac · 5 months
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I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!
I am not normal about any of these characters!
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#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#me just staring at the ceiling thinking about anime characters#if i start talking about the big stuff now it's going to turn into a huge rambling mess so in the meantime#i did not get sebek (yet) (i need to contemplate my gems...) but i did see his groovy#he is just full-on cinderella-sparkles bibbidi-bobbidi-booing into that armor! magnificent.#and i really don't have enough words for how much i love tiny malleus. he is perfect. he is precious. he is everything to me.#he knows who his dad is no matter what some crusty dead talking ectoplasm blobs say#(man no wonder lilia's got hangups if THAT was the general attitude he was getting)#('eww you got your dirty bat cooties on the prince' go sit in the corner with mrs. rosehearts you absolute garbage)#(...i did kind of love that lilia started to wake up because the senate said one nice thing to him)#(and he immediately was like 'this is not reality')#(sounds about right)#on a lighter note i was just. SO charmed by the little throwaway about ✨dragon lord consort esteemed diplomat revaan✨#who picks the vegetables out of his food and hides them under the tablecloth#everything i learn about this man makes me like him more. he was SO dumb.#now we know where malleus gets it from i guess#also unrelated but once again the fact that i named my mc tamago has had unintentional consequences#tamago take the tamago and tamago tamagao tamago#frikkin love that when yuu gives the egg back you can just be like 'i love him. this is my baby now.' 100% accurate.#also yuu continually referring to malleus as tsunotarou even to the senate = amazing. yuu really has NO self-preservation or awareness.#they fit right in with everyone else#<- see what did i tell you. huge rambling mess.#and i haven't even BEGUN to talk about MELEANOR -- (is dragged offstage by a hook)
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isjasz · 7 months
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[Day 96]
Together they become GUY!!
(Context: On the stream yesterday they were joking about just combining into one player for decked out LOL)
(And Hermittober: Day 1 Frost ❄️)
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hailsatanacab · 6 months
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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ryssbelle · 15 days
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Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!
Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎
#my art#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanart#style mimic#sorry for the @s btw#yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also#this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made#i think they all got together and drew with one another#which is really cool#but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot#and ive seen others do it too so i was just like#wow they really know each others styles really well#until i thought about it and read their posts some more#style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice#and a good way to explore other ways of doing things#like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone#also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit#so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it#anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont#but ye#i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like#ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while#sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style#so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic#Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy#being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another#buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects#so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref#as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one
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nerdpoe · 7 months
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There's a level of Hell that Constantine loves and hates in equal measure.
The Level of Lust and Debauchery.
He loves it for what it is, but he also really, really hates it. The beings in it are unhinged at best, completely insane at worst. Stronger than Demons, but weaker than Gods-it's always more stressful than fun dealing with them.
So needing to summon the King of that level is...well. John can already feel the exhaustion.
But instead of exhaustion, he feel rage. Disgust.
The King that shimmers into existence is a fucking child.
And John honestly loses some time after that.
He comes back from ranting with the tiny King forcefully yanking him to a stop.
"Wait, you thought the Infinite Realms were what?"
Turns out, that wasn't the Level of Lust and Debauchery at all. Turns out, the Infinite Realms has a Red Light District.
Turns out, that is a very, very small part of the Infinite Realms, and this tiny child King had no idea it was there, and now he has to explain what a Red Light District is to an increasingly mortified Royal Teenager.
All around, it's not a fun time for anyone present.
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inkskinned · 9 months
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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katabay · 3 months
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ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...
the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin
this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.
you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.
also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.
⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
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suiheisen · 21 days
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you think YOU had a bad day at work?
bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera
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raepliica · 9 months
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tristamp post-S1 mashwood sillies and tri98(?) merylwood :]
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