#and probably bullshitting his ass off at the same time tbh

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

‘Butter’ Jacket Shoot Sketch Day Two - Suga

#bts #min yoongi #suga #bts suga #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts gifs #my gifs #btsedit #don't need subtitles to know he's showing his age in those last two lmfao #and probably bullshitting his ass off at the same time tbh #he's just like me fr #i adore him #anyway gif one and four are absolutely devastating #people died #i'm people #he's so fucking gorgeous #just a beautiful beautiful man

[verysium]

This is such crack brain fart idea 😶

What if some blue lock boys ask the reader what brand her shoes (or something dumb like that) over text and reader sent them a voice message on text and it’s just:

“Hi baby, okay so the brand is—- *insert car accident noises*”

Have you seen those TikToks???

If you do this request, it can be any blue lock boys you want

HELPPP i saw something similar on hinge, and i was hunched over the side of my bed laughing for like 20 minutes. in general, i don't think pranks with any of the bllk boys would go well (unless you wanted to be punted like a football, american-style) but i'm taking a risk today, so here you go:

sae sees through your bullshit in a peloponnesian minute. he has morning practice, three interviews, and a daily nap to get to, so what makes you think he has time for you to fake a car accident? leaves you on read. (brutal, i know.)

rin is mildly concerned, but he's too smart to fall for whatever prank you have planned. he'd probably reply with a sarcastic, dry ass response or a deadpan emoji. refuses to talk to you for the rest of the day because what if you actually got into a car accident? he would lose all sanity. tbh he can't stand it when people make light of serious situations even if it's just a lighthearted joke.

kaiser is petty. he sends you an official funeral invite titled "in loving memory of y/n." he personally designed it in photoshop and even added those tacky glitter rose GIF animations on the front. coincidentally, everyone in your immediate circle also happened to receive the same mass email chain with those invites, so you had to explain to your family, friends, and co-workers that (1) you did not in fact die in a car accident and (2) your funeral is not set for the 15th. (you never played a prank on michael again.)

isagi freaks out. he's calling 911/119, whatever emergency service there is. immediately calls you and nearly breaks down in fear of losing you. when you tell him it was merely a prank, he laughs in relief but internally he's cursing you out with every colorful name in existence.

ness is isagi but even more high-strung. there is no time to call the ambulance in his mind. he's already thundering down the highway looking for the evidence of your car wreck. calls you and screams ballistically into the speaker: "WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" so yeah....don't ever play a prank on ness. it's for your sake, not his.

shidou takes you up one notch and sends a picture of himself in the emergency room with a cast on his leg and an IV drip. this spawn of satan took your message literally and decided to copy you and got into a real car accident. so now you have to take time off work and sign the hospital discharge papers because he listed you as his sole emergency contact.

nagi doesn't give a shit. he's already chronically online, and reo's played pranks on him before. probably texts you an "ok" and then tells you he's run out of toilet paper again, so you need to stop by the store to buy some.

reo matches your energy. he replies with: oh yeah, i've heard of that brand. it's the—*insert sound of trucks colliding and screeches across asphalt* you both had a good laugh after.

ok that's all i have for now. this is going to reach a very niche demographic, but you're welcome.

#asks #blue lock #blue lock headcanons #bllk #bllk fluff #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #crack fic #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #sae x reader #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi x you #rin itoshi x y/n #michael kaiser #michael kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x you #michael kaiser x y/n #kaiser x reader #kaiser x you #kaiser x y/n #isagi yoichi #blue lock isagi #bllk isagi #isagi x reader #isagi x you #isagi x y/n

[weebsinstash]

On my platonic yandere Batfam bullshit again thinking about, like, deliberately dramatic scenarios because I crave emotional tension

-imagine if Bruce gets called in to regressed!Reader's school because you got in a fist fight with another kid, and this kid is the son of one of his prominent business partners and Bruce, uh, doesn't immediately believe you when you state for him and the principal why you got into a fight because, hey he knows that boy, he isn't THAT bad! And Bruce scolds you and makes you apologize and even grounds you once you two are in the car alone and you're just noticeably extremely angry and quiet to the point you won't even come out of your room for dinner. And after some time has passed, days even, a couple members of the fam are in a room together with you and someone cracks a joke about you losing your temper over a misunderstanding and you just, stare directly at them as you pull out your phone, press play on a video, and walk away as they watch where you had been trying to take a photo of something like idk a flower or the weather and began accidentally filming after Selina helped dropped you off at school and the footage caught the boy outright calling her a slut for what she was wearing

And of course Bruce is upset because that kid insulted Catwoman and also got some swings back at you (he's probably proud to a certain degree that you defended Selina and shes absolutely delighted when she hears about it) but he asks "well why didn't you tell me you had proof im the first place" and you just spit at him "oh so I need PROOF for you to BELIEVE ME?" And extra bonus points if Reader has their old memories back and hits him with "after everything you've done to me, I finally ask for your help and ACTUALLY needed you this ONE TIME and you couldn't even believe me? Wow, my hero 🙄" so now he knows he's broken your heart AND you're back to the "old you" that he wants to, father all the depression and trauma out of

-since Dick, Barbara, and Reader would all be going to a prestigious school I think of like, what if your class got kidnapped for ransom while on a field trip. And Robin and Batgirl look over to you thinking you're going to panic and freak out but you're suspiciously calm, or, calmer than the anxiety stricken adopted 'sibling' they've had this whole time, and maybe despite being kidnapped by like, idk, Babyface or Black Mask or Two Face, and maybe you even just outright insult them and it becomes horribly obvious to them "oh not only do you have your memories back, they've unintentionally turned you into an explosive powder keg of repressed anger and frustration because they betrayed what little trust you had left"

You just look at Two Face and start fucking with him, this criminal looking down as a teenager starts roasting him way too casually and maybe with facts you shouldn't even know, things you remember from your time as a hero before. "Hey Harvey, what's hanging, it's been a while. Hey can I ask a question? You ever think about just outright asking someone like I dunno Bruce Wayne to fix that fucked up meat gristle face of yours? Like, I'm sure having half your body resemble the same consistency of a breakfast sausage has its uses in intimidation, but, like, I'm sure if you just walked up to Batman and said 'hey if you make me look less like a rotisserie chicken I'll quit crime' and he would probably just like, HAND the money for the sugery to you, like, do you think Batmobile money falls out of the sky, he's clearly fucking loaded"

And of course the follow up/alternative of "the stress triggers Reader's metagene or old memories or both and you just start whooping ass unapologetically and Barb and Dick are sweating because they're trying not to break incognito but like you're significantly hurting these dudes, you're clearly really angry and upset and taking it out on them" and tbh I imagine Batman already has contingencies for this possibility. He shows up in costume and Two Face has already fled but you're standing there in your preppy school uniform now dirty and torn, blood on your knuckles, about to beat a man unconscious while your classmates either cower or cheer or fear you. If Reader has some sort of magic, then he just has to get Nth metal from Hawkgirl or Hawkman, maybe he'll make it a cute bracelet, just a nice gift from Dad. Bodily autonomy to use your own powers and be an adult again, what's that? He's disappointed in you for caving into the darkness and also? you're grounded >:(

-Reader becoming a mugging/gun violence victim and now you're never allowed to leave the manor, period. I can only imagine like the projection of trauma from Bruce if, after losing his parents, he has to watch you weak and recovering from a gunshot, wheezing in bed struggling to breathe properly because a bullet went through one of your lungs. You're put in a total bubble to recover in absolute peace and sterility, but, even far after you've recovered, your "guardian" is still convinced someone will leap out of the bushes to hurt you, so, no leaving the manor unless he's with you. Like. Imagine him being so scared he doesn't even want to trust your safety with the other Batfamily members, and maybe he even cracks down on several of the other younger members because he doesn't want them to get shot too (also like, resulting trauma and overprotectiveness if one or multiple of them saw you get shot and are like, still fucked up over having to apply pressure to your bullet wound as your warm blood leaks all over their fingers and they can't do anything to stop you and-- like do you see how that would send some of them into borderline psychosis when theyve already got So Many Many Issues)

-all of them try to exert control over what you're exposed to and consume in terms of entertainment. You have spyware on your phone and any member of the Batfam who can use the Batcomputer can see your past and current browsing history and I will die on this hill. Bruce and Alfred are rigorous in making sure you don't ruin your mental health. Like you know how I talked about "what if you had a yandere that was in tech and he gave you a phone that he occasionally spies on and remotely disables if he thinks you're spending too much time on it/seeing something you shouldnt"? Bruh that's like half of the Manor, Bruce especially. He has to "make sure nothing bad happens to you". All it can take is 'one bad day', after all...

-obsessed with the idea of them getting jealous of you spending time with other alternate universe versions of themselves, in concepts where Reader is a JL member/vigilante and has the power/tech to multiverse travel anyways. Batman hasn't seen you in a couple weeks and, actually maybe he's a little concerned about you, you've kind of just vanished off the face of the earth, and he bumps into you on a Gotham rooftop with. Another Batman, and getting along much better and being more casual and friendly with the stranger than with him. Broody fucking "I am darkness, I am the night, I am vengeance" Bruce catching you like. smoking weed on his couch with the hilariously weird version of him from the Harley Quinn cartoon universe and God forbid if anyone shows signs of having feelings for you

(also could you imagine how ballistic he and or Jason would go if they caught you hanging out with, you know, one of the super violent "murder is ok" Jasons/Batmans and you tell them straight up "actually I agree with what he's doing, I want to help him, in fact maybe I'll work with HIM now instead of you" like, y'all, I think Batman would permanently never let you work as a hero or sidekick ever again because he's genuinely worried you'll fall down the slippery slope and make a mistake that ruins your life. Like depending on the depiction of Batman you're looking at, some of them admit straight up that they don't kill Joker because they know they're legitimately filled with so much anger and hatred that if they kill even one person, that'll break the barrier to killing tons of criminals outright and they won't be able to stop)

-all I'm saying is that if they ever caught you like being cordial or mildly friendly with an alternate universe version of a villain, no matter how good they are, they shut that shit down immediately. "Y/N who is that" "oh this is my bud The Jester from the universe where the Joker is actually really good and a superhero and--" *jester proceeds to be grappled back through a multiverse portal* "wait no don't freak out this poison ivy is actually really chill and she's married to Harley and she sells me really good weed and she only does a liiiiiitle bit of ecoterrorism and--" immediately thrown in Arkham

-I just genuinely think it's funny that they're probably either smoking weed with you bc trauma and stress or are vehemently anti drug. Can you imagine just in general like, regressed reader, batfam member, either way, just being an actual adult just minding your business and smoking weed and Bruce reacting like he just caught you with a loaded gun in your pocket "y/n is that a weed" "yeah its for my chronic pain--" "I'm calling commissioner gordon" like, Bruce practically acting like you need to go to rehab

-I kinda love the drama of Bruce or Dick or Barbara or just any of the Batfam members accidentally basically ruining your social life and social reputation. You were at a house party one night and eventually pics start getting texted around of Nightwing confronting you in the yard and pulling you away and now there are rumors you're a criminal on parole. You get invited to smoke weed at a friend's and suddenly Batman is in the house and suddenly everyone's parents are there to pick up their kids as he lectures about the dangers of drugs and now absolutely NO ONE from school wants anything to do with you "because what if Batman shows up and gets us in trouble"

-I feel like, as one of those vaguely morally gray areas, that Bruce would make you take medication and get treatment for, like, really anything that needs it, but more specifically anxiety and depression and just overall psychological issues. And as a dark twist what if you aren't really naturally anxious and don't even have an anxiety disorder or anything but he puts you on pills to mellow you out because you're freaking out at him for completely valid and understandable reasons like, you know, being confined in his home against your will. "What, you aren't mad about being kidnapped and controlled and lied to, you clearly just have pre existing emotional issues that keep you from reacting properly, but don't worry I'm here to help" 🙄🙄🙄

#sometimes i put readmores if things are hella long but like the dashboard does that automatically now #yandere x reader #yandere stuff #sinprompts #yandere batman

[mellylari]

I promised myself I’d do this so here it is. The Ninja ranked by how well I would think of them if was an employee working at a ninjago city supermarket:

Cole - the kindest customer. The favorite customer. Caught me purchasing a cake for myself and now we’ve started sharing recipes/bakeries we like every time he comes in. Once caught the boss yelling at one of the teens and started throwing hands. Motm convinced me Cole would absolutely be pro-unions and workers rights, okay? I can’t explain it but you gotta trust me. 10/10 would help me unionize.

Lloyd - The only reason he’s in second place instead of Zane is that I feel like he’d have the vibe of a kid whose not used to shopping on their own and wants to make a good impression. Like he’d put his items on the conveyor belt, all of which being candy, and when I tell him his total he would spend like a minute or two thumbing through his wallet because he wanted to give exact change. And if he takes longer than like 10 seconds he starts apologizing profusely and the only reason it isn’t annoying is because you can feel the 12-year-old-energy coming off him in waves.

Zane - Yes, he would be the most well behaved ninja to check out. But I think he’d be too well behaved. A completely average customer ignoring the nindroid part. I’d recognize him as a regular, but our interactions would be so minuscule that I’d never think any more of him than just ‘customer’. I probably don’t even realize who he is sometimes, until one of the other ninja show up with him and I go ‘oh shit it’s the white ninja.’

Nya - I think 9 times out of 10 when we interact, it’s just a very normal transaction tbh. Like maybe sometimes she’ll mention being a ninja, or she’ll come in fresh from a fight, but most of the time it’s just eh. She’s okay. BUT. but. There’s going to be one time she comes in, one time she goes shopping, where she just goes ape shit. Maybe one of other customers said something, or maybe it was a bad day, I couldn’t tell you. But there’s going to be a time where she gets so pissed off that she knocks over an entire shelf, and she gets suspended from the store for a month.

Jay - I couldn’t tell you what it is, but jay feels like The Annoying Customer. Like the kind of guy who keeps telling you about his political opinions despite you not asking for them, and since you’re not legally allowed to get into politics on the clock you just have to sit and fume whenever he says some bullshit. He also seems like the kind of guy to hold up the line because he noticed you had Prime Empire merch and really wants to let you know he was Super Star Rocking Jay, and saved everyone from the game that one time.

Kai - Kai Jiang-Smith is my favorite ninjago character, I swear he is, but I would hunt him for sport if I ever had to deal with him in a work setting. As far as I’m aware he’s the only character we’ve ever seen in a convenience store, and the one I can say for certain I would have a violent hatred for. I cannot express to you how much cashiers do not, in fact, like being flirted with on the clock. It does not change when a celebrity does it. We are tired and hungry and immune to your advances. If Kai fucking Smith, with his verified blue checkmark looking ass, came into my store during my 9-5, and started hitting on me, I would become the next seasons villain. Not to mention he’d do the same thing Jay would, where he’d want to make you very aware that he is the red ninja and he’s saved the city so so so many times. Not to get like a discount, he just loves to gloat.

#ninjago #oh also Jay seems like the kind of person who #when his items don’t instantly scan #would be like #‘guess it’s free lmao’ #those jokes are mediocre at best #cole brookstone #lloyd garmadon #Zane Julien #nya smith #jay walker #Kai smith #melly screams

[mannatea]

Random thoughts about DBZ because I’m rewatching starting at the Great Saiyaman Arc.

Gohan is just so wholesome and good. Even after all these years I still stan with my whole heart. When he finds out that Mr. Satan has been taking credit for (more or less) his and his friends’ work during the Cell Games, and all he does is just have a giggle about it? I love him your honor.

These episodes start off so goofy after the more serious tone of the Cell Games arc, but even though they’re not very serious there’s enough realism in there for the silliness to feel grounded I guess? Like yeah, “Gohan goes to high school” sounds so dull off the cuff, but there’s something seriously charming about him trying to “fit in” and “be normal”—and to a degree it’s a relatable issue, too. He really is just trying to make friends and keep them (after a lifetime so far of not really having friends his own age)(I think Dende sort of counts for this but they don’t see each other as often as, say, a school friend group does).

Videl doesn’t half-ass anything and frankly that’s one of the reasons I will always love her.

Seriously, I love her so much. I wish they’d had more time to develop her character and go into a bit more about why she acts the way she does, but a lot of that can just be inferred. It’s not really surprising that she’s out there like a bloodhound sniffing out bullshit from Day 1 considering her father’s fame and what that has probably meant for her for the last 7ish years.

Also she’s a Fashion Icon actually. Spandex shorts and a t-shirt? Same, girl.

She does attach herself to Gohan awfully quickly, which ties back into wishing we got more character development, buttttt it seems pretty clear early on that part of the reason she wants to know who he is is because he’s “just like her for real”: she definitely seems to understand she’s found someone worth her time.

I think there’s probably something to be said here about her father’s bullshit too, and filling her head with ideas about how she can only date someone as strong as he is (when she believes nobody like that exists, especially not someone her age) but really I feel like that connection forms so quickly because Gohan is not a simp or a fan of hers; he just has a similar idea of justice, and she really vibes with that. It feels like a genuine connection to another person, which she probably hasn't experienced often.

Anyway I just love how earnest and hard-working she is.

And I’m sorry because the shipping goggles are permanently affixed to my dumb face at this point in my life with these characters, but it’s still pretty cute (and funny tbh) that Videl and Gohan have this constant back and forth of her doing something and him being genuinely impressed by her, even though her accomplishments are like, absolutely nothing compared to what he and his friends can do. It just kind of sets up Gohan as a “look at my awesome wife” kind of guy, which he definitely is. LOL.

I also really like how he manages to recognize that she has limitations (as she is just a human being) without ever really coming across like he’s disrespecting her as a person. Above all, Gohan does try to be respectful. Or when he’s worried about potentially coming up against her father in the tournament because he’s concerned beating her father in a match might hurt her feelings? He’s such a good kid.

He’s also dumb as shit re: the hair comment, but there’s something about that stupid 5 second scene that I love too… Like Gohan was just spitting facts about short hair being harder to use against her in a fight, but she totally misunderstood his meaning and then gets mad about it. LOL. It feels very…teenagery to me (as it should). But when she comes back with short hair anyway, it’s nice because even though she was upset for having misunderstood him, she obviously recognizes the truth in his words. It was good advice—so she takes it.

I also feel kind of bad for Gohan for all the teasing he gets at the start of the tournament for his “friend” being a “girl” like pleaaase give him a break. The poor kid barely has friends. Let’s not pigeonhole him into a romantic relationship too.

Honestly Videl needs time to build up a good friendship too. She kind of sucks at making and keeping friends and doesn’t need the pressure of romance on her plate (even though she’s obviously sorta interested HAHAHA).

I mean I like that they do get together in the end (obviously, I was the biggest G/V shipper in the old days lol) but that their friendship felt highlighted first and foremost was always meaningful to me personally lol.

Also to backtrack, it’s still hilarious that ChiChi was suspicious of Videl until she found out she was rich. ICONIQUE.

 Goten is the cutest little kid ARGHHHH. I love him so much.

One thing about watching the series in Japanese is that I miss out on the dub’s terrible rapping attempts by Gohan and frankly that is PEAK COMEDY.

Videl sounds 10x cuter in the original, too, now that I think about it. And Hercule sounds much more serious (despite his comedic relief character) which is a great contrast actually.

Announcer man is a fave too btw. I love him.

Backtracking again but Vegeta at the beginning of this arc was actually not as much of an asshole as I remember him being in the dub. But also why is his voice so smooth?? LOL.

Currently on the Trunks vs. Goten fight episode where Videl is like “WTF” about everything. I kinda feel bad for her, but I like that while her not knowing what’s going on is part of the comedy aspect of the episodes, she’s never treated like she’s stupid for it. For all of DBZ’s faults I will say some characters were done surprisingly well.

#dbz

[thatonebylershipper]

soooooo is no one gonna talk about how ME! is so extremely byler coded

okay have fun reading this monstrosity of character analysis if you want to

so uh. mike wheeler. he genuinely thinks he is unlovable and so hard to deal with. he really really thinks that. i disagree with the not thinking part tho. hes a smart kid. when he "jumped" (i do quotations because my little pookie wookie did not jump off that cliff lil guy stepped off) off the cliff, he knew what would happen when he hit the water. (rocks. he didnt even aim for the water he just stepped off right over the rocks and he knew what would happen.)

will is absoluetly a chick magnet and mike knows that. he can see it. hell, he lives it. he knows that will is extremely attractive because he feels the attraction himself. going back to believing he is unlovable, he also doesnt think he is anywhere near good enough for will. he knows that there are probably plenty of girls lined up waiting for a chance to date will and mike thinks that will deserves way better than him.

phonegate phonegate phonegate phonegate

also yeah this bitch (affectionate) has no idea when to stop and just cant stay out of shit. he has to be right in the middle of everything. which btw isnt always a bad thing but it is often detrimental to him.

trouble on my left trouble on my right ive been facing trouble almost all my life-- okay mb i wont make cte references rn i just think its a very mike coded song because genuinely he always has trouble following him around. lil guy cannot escape the Problems and the Horrors

all i have to say about this is gay

OKAY WILL'S TURN

i saw a very interesting character analysis of mike one time talking about how he is always the one to reach out and no one ever reaches out to him. not even will. which you might be like "what are you talking about" but its true. when will tells mike about his problems or whatever is going on, mike always asks questions to try and understand better. hes always the one to reach out first. when he tried to open up however, no one does that for him. no one tries to better understand what hes saying.

ANYWAY during the rink-o-mania fight, will mentioned mike never calling him or writing to him. but did he ever reach out? or did he just expect mike to? [THIS IS NOT ME HATING ON WILL BTW. I LOVE HIM DEARLY BUT HE NEEDS TO GET HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS ASS SOMETIMES. ALSO THIS IS NOT ME BRUSHING OFF MIKES SHITTY BEHAVIOR. HE ALSO NEEDS TO GET HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS ASS SOMETIMES.] all of this connects to "i know i tend to make it about me". i dont think will means to do this, but it ends up happening over and over.

as for "i know you never get just what you see" this particular lyric makes me think of the rink-o-mania scene where angela came up to the table and took el away, but mike didnt do anything. he didnt even seem bothered by it. that is, until will showed concern for the situation. then he jumped into protection mode. when will revealed to mike that el had been lying to him, his reaction was to call bullshit because why would she do that?? he doesnt get what he sees. what he saw was el being taken out to the floor by her friends. but thats not what he got. what he got was el being taken away by her bullies. will knows that mike doesnt always get what he sees.

i feel like this lyric could be purely flirtatious and tbh i can imagine will saying this to mike just to see him blush. "i will never bore you baby." cue mike turning into a tomato. idk this lyric is silly i dont really have anything to pair with it

self explanatory. they had a fight in the rain. and then mike ran after will and called his name. of course will never wants to see mike walk away; hes in love.

idk why that one got big but whatever. again, gay. because theyre not like the others. but the winter/summer thing: there are all sorts of dynamics that all have the same vibe. black cat/golden retreiver boyfriends, moon/sun boyfriends. its all blue and yellow iykwim. winter/summer is just another one of those. mike is winter and will is absoluetly his summer

"and i promise that nobodys gonna love you like me-hee-heee" nope, no one is ever ever gonna love either of them the way they love each other. they were made for each other and not only do they need each other, they want each other which is honestly more important. if they didnt want each other so badly, the ship would be no better than milkvan. because milkvan needed each other, but they did not want each other. thats why the ship is bones. it doesnt work out if they dont want each other.

#byler #get character analyzed bitch #byler x taylor swift songs forever #ME! #taylor swift

[disco-tea]

What's your take on Spike in LMPTM? Cause it's always an ep I struggle with. I can see the viewpoint that Spike lacks true remorse and the way he speaks of Nikki is horrible, but at the same time, part of me thinks most of his rant is deliberately antagonistic and full of bluster and bullshit solely because of HOW Robin sought revenge. It always came off to me very much like "you want to fuck with my brain, I'll do the same to you". I feel like it was the action of trying to turn Spike into something he's not in order to justify the kill that makes Spike as cruel as he is in that ep.

Oooof yeah…Lies My Parents Told Me is…an episode for sure. I totally get struggling with it because honestly it’s all in the writing…it’s Like That™️ because of the writer. So just a bit of background info here: LMPTM was written by David Fury and he really hated Spike, or rather specifically the way the audience had sympathy for Spike (and that people shipped him with Buffy). And he admitted he wrote Spike that way in that episode because he ‘wanted to show the audience Spike was still a bad person even with a soul.’ He also did some other crappy stuff with that episode like deliberately casting an actress to play Anne that Fury thought looked like SMG because he thought he was making some sort of cLeVeR commentary on Spuffy. And also that’s why he named her Anne.

Anywho, it’s a little hard for me (personally) to look past the Doylistexplanation which is the writer was being an ass and wanted to get one last jab in before the series was over. And tbh even Fury aside…I don’t know what they were trying to do with Robin, I’m not sure the writers even knew tbh. I think they were just kinda throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what stuck. I don’t think they planned out Robin’s arc or role or development very well, and it probably would’ve been handled better had the episode that concluded that arc not been given to Fury, because ultimately instead of trying to write a good story, he turned it into a weapon to use against the audience like Fury does with so many of his episodes. Like see, see how horrible he is, why don’t you hate him? He’s a terrible person. So yeah, the whole thing really could’ve been handled better.

BUT, looking for a in-universe explanation, I think that is a good one. I mean the First was already messing with Spike’s head, and Robin just used that against him for revenge without really thinking of the implications outside of that.

I think in some ways the episode gets close to hitting Spike’s characterization for the season (but misses because it’s written in the interest of villainizing the character) which is that, no, Spike doesn’t want forgiveness or ‘redemption’…because he doesn’t think he deserves it. He doesn’t ask for forgiveness because he doesn’t want to be forgiven, he doesn’t think having a soul and being sorry makes up for what he’s done to anybody. That’s why he tries to hide the fact he has a soul from Buffy, why he tries to pretend multiple times in the season that nothing has changed about him. He’s not there to be forgiven or absolved, he’s there to help and try to do the right thing now and help save the world (or die trying).

Anyway, that’s my take on it. I know it’s not a very definitive one, but I think LMPTM is really one of those episodes everybody (who likes Spike at least) has to find their own interpretation of because it wasn’t written with good intentions or in the interest of a cohesive or positive character arc.

#btvs asks #btvs 7.17

[maochira]

how would Kaiser and Ness react to the moist rewe sandwiches? and hcs on how they'd be in our class/friend group?

-Kaiser would buy the Rewe sandwiches because he's seen us eat them a lot, but then he fucking hates them and makes Ness eat them instead (he doesn't want to throw them away because of food waste)

-then Kaiser would complain to us about how awful they tasted and how weirdly moist the bread is. While he's on his rant, we'd just laugh our asses off because we can't take him being mad seriously

-Ness would actually enjoy the sandwiches to some extent (a man of culture)

-having Kaiser and Ness in our friend group would be both annoying and a huge joy at the same time. You know, Kaiser would defend us (we're his friends so yeah) and he'd definitely not let us take in any bullshit from you know who. He'd threaten the person I sat next to in the beginning of the year (Ness would do so as well but in a more passive-aggressive way)

-Kaiser would not be able to handle any criticism from our art teacher and we'd have to hold him back from starting arguments with her

-I feel like Kaiser would in a weird way be a teacher's pet to our WISO teacher??? Idk seems like it

-Ness would probably be the teacher's pet in graphic design and typography because in our entire friend group he'd be the only one to not do shenanigans throughout the entirety of class

-I'd try to hold their hands platonically all the time tbh

-we'd get Kaiser to join us in calling each other babygirl all the time. Ness freaks out on the inside whenever Kaiser calls him babygirl

-you'd draw a lot of doodles with puns about Ness (Loch Ness, Nessquick, etc)

#bllk #blue lock #bllk headcanons #blue lock headcanons #blue lock ness #bllk ness #blue lock kaiser #bllk kaiser #michael kaiser #alexis ness

[x-authorship-x]

I haven't read your HP fics but now I'm thinking... how would you fix it? Like would you toss shisui in there?

Hmm.... Well, tbh, if I was gonna fix HP I would (tear that evil author limb from limb and rip out all the discrimination and bullshit-) consider several routes and, no, they're not all Shisui-shaped lol

Harry fixes it. I'm actually someone who loves the main character. It's like Percy Jackson, I love the OG protag and I love seeing them tear off a few heads as they go. World building, canon divergence, that addictive blend of non-magical 90s culture with magical paganism... Yes please (now you're making me long for my Thresholds fic, where Time Travelling Luna raises Harry 🥹)

Bill fixes it. I would write this so hard. He's a curse breaker, what the fuck does that entail, what's it like working for Gringotts (please tell me he has diplomatic immunity, please) and why the hell didn't the order/Sirius hire his ass to gut Grimmauld. He would've found that locket so fast. In fact, he meets Harry pre-World Cup and is immediately like 'hey you have rancid vibes, kid, might wanna fix that'. Like c'mon. Also what the fuck does Fleur do, what is her job? I wanna say an Enchantress, cuz c'mon. Where are my coworkers to friends to lovers Fics about these two sexy badasses (Bill is immune to her allure, mainly practice and willpower, and he's trying to be professional and not be a dickhead to this gorgeous and talented woman who has been sexualized and objectified her whole life WHILST fleur thinks Bill is straight up gay/not interested because even respectful guys slipped up at some point so she's trying to just get over that horrible shock that the one time she wants her allure to really work it is flopping, all this on top of moving to a new country and trying to prove herself at work and perfect her English... CMON 😫)

you asked about Shisui, I didn't do this! So Shisui... I'm going to split into subcategories...

the classic 'reborn' shtick. You gotta make him a Black, you gotta c'mon. Sirius's playboy-era whoops son? Eighteen-year-old Regulus had a 'im gonna fucking die' one night stand before his death? Who knows, not me because this is off the top of my head lol. Is he attending Hogwarts at the same time as harry? Sure, he'd be in Hufflepuff which is probably the only reason the whole school hasn't like stoned him for being who he is (🙃). Just for fun I would also ship him with Harry because, well, I love the world building around how Potters love. Shisui deserves that. Harry also deserves Shisui's brand of terrifyingly loyal devotion. Damn it to fucking hell, now I ship it and you just KNOW there's no Fics out there for this 🤡🤡🤡

Shisui, blind, wakes up at some point in HP canon. Maybe Harry finds him at the bottom of the lake when he's diving for the sword (seen some stuff about him and Regulus in the cave too), maybe he does that old classic 'dramatic crash-land in the middle of dinner at the great hall' trope, idk??? This one is super messy tho because the story gets tripped up by lots of stuff; Shisui angst about being here and not back in Narutoverse, why would Shisui (an emancipated assassin) stick around at a school in Scotland where he literally popped out of thin air instead of exploring the world etc, Shisui needing to acclimatise Shinobi to magical etc etc....

Shisui reincarnation into an actual canon character. Again, don't really like this as much as the first because, well, who's it gonna be? Regulus? That's neat but what about Harry's school years specifically? I think Shisui would make a very cool Blaise Zabini, whether from birth or not, because 1) black widow mother is both endeared and pleasantly surprised by son's support and 2) cool three-way culture clash between shinobi-"Japanese" & UK magical & Italian magical. Also I like fanon Blaise.

What else? Idk, like I said earlier this is all off the top of my head so enjoy, Anon! ✨

...But dammit now I ship Shisui/Harry why 🤡

#torship #torship talks #ask #anon #shisui #harry potter #shisui HP AU

[honeylikesyanderes]

I’m sorry but.. FEMALE YANDERES CAN JUST TAKE MY HEART 💗💗💗 -a hopeless bisexual

but all jokes aside I want to see Florence, and Angel first meeting the new member joining the corp please 🙏

ask and you shall receive my dear!

18+ mdni

contains: yandere and semi-unhealthy behaviours, genuinely lovesick women and other stuff

(sorry if this is bad, writer's block has been on my ass recently)

likes and reblogs are very very very much appreciated ♡

------------------------------------------------------

angel matthews

age: 27

birthday: july 16th

physical attributes:

pale skin

small and petite (5'1)

light golden blonde hair

deep blue eyes

mole under her right eye

usually had painted nails

very sweet and feminine voice

usually smiling

has a couple of ear piercings

golden glasses

personality traits:

is super smiley and sweet

cheerful and kind

a ray of sunshine tbh

very mature tho

is rarely ever angry

very open minded and non-judgemental

is a good listener and all in all is a sweetheart

is playful and fun

can be calculated and analytical when necessary tho

meeting you:

angel would first meet her darling during orientation

yan corp had just hired about 15 new staff members and you were one of them

during orientation, important members of staff were introduced to the newbies

to be honest, you kind of blended into the background

everyone was there with new shiny clothes and fancy hairstyles

and you were just there in your regular clothes, vibing away

and you didn't really care if you got noticed or not

you were literally just here for the money

angel, on the other hand, couldn't keep her eyes off you

she was so used to seeing staff dress in fancy clothes and be so vain about their appearance

and there you were, in regular clothes, yet you were still the most attractive person in the room to her.

you looked bored, as if you were tired of corporate bullshit

she was tired of it too

could it be that you were just the same as her?

she could imagine running her hands through your (h/c) hair and looking into your (e/c) eyes

holding your soft hands while talking to you

you could be the one for her.

you look up and notice her staring at you, to which you give her a shy smile before going back to the presentation.

angel almost passed out

yeah. you were the one for her.

her brother priest noticed she was staring at you with red cheeks and he immediately knew that his sister had found her darling

and you just happened to be assigned to his department.

he would keep an eye on you for her

are they aware that they are yanderes? are they bothered by it?

angel is aware but it doesn't really bother her because she knows she had your best interest in heart and she just wants to love you. she'd do anything for you and she doesn't see that as a bad thing

yandere tendencies:

is a clingy/obsessive yandere

loves to be around their darling all the time

can and will manipulate the system to give you a promotion to her department

its literally so she can spend more time with you

angel is super sweet and is always caring

if you ever get in trouble, she'll always bail you out

she wont tolerate bad behaviour or you acting out tho

you will probably start dating angel before finding out that she's a yandere

she wears her heart on her sleeve so you'll learn quite early on that she's into you

and naturally, you'd fall for her too

she's genuinely sweet, caring and kind

and she's really pretty

why wouldn't you fall for her?

plus, at yan corp, its permitted for coworkers to date

its even encouraged!

she's always texting and calling and checking up on you throughout the work day

one time when you were typing a report, she videocalled you so she could watch you type

on days when angel isnt at work, priest watches you for her and takes pictures of you to send to his sister

angel keeps a framed picture of you on her desk

and she has some strands of your hair in her desk drawer

and she has a shirt of yours hidden in her office somewhere

it has your scent on it and she likes to smell it on occasions where she's feeling very clingy

although she's clingy and obsessive, angel would never hurt her darling, whether verbally or physically

she's not above using her power to influence your relationship tho

fun facts/trivia:

angel is bhodi's cousin and they grew up together

her favourite colour is green

she avoids playing office politics as much as possible, but when she does, she's extremely good at it

angel can also be unknowingly manipulative sometimes

she has a pet chameleon and a pet snake

angel has her own charity that works to feed and shelter homeless people as well as finding them proper (non-exploitative) jobs

she also regularly donates blood

florence douglas

age: 25

birthday: sept 5th

physical attributes:

fiery red hair

pale skin

bright green eyes

average-ish height (5'6)

rosy cheeks

dimple on her left cheek

basic lobe piercings

usually wearing her glasses

either smiling mischievously or not smiling at all

THICK scottish accent

personality traits:

ambivert but more on the quiet side

can be judgemental, especially when it comes to work

extremely hardworking

can be snarky and sarcastic sometimes

also very determined and willing to play dirty to get what she wants

literally is the humanised form of ''gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss''

is highkey scary af

meeting you:

you had one job as an intern.

get coffee for the bosses that are in the middle of a meeting

one cappuccino, one americano, one latte, 2 strawberry teas and one black coffee

unfortunately you forgot the black coffee

and knox thought it was okay to verbally berate you in front of everyone

over coffee.

you really needed this job so you figured it was best for him to scold you and afterwards you'd just apologise and leave

unfortunately, he was being extremely mean and tears started welling up in your eyes

florence didn't want to interfere initially, but when she saw the tears in your eyes, she decided that knox had gone too far

it wasn't that serious, it was just a cup of coffee

and there was something about you that she liked

she knew it would be torture for her to watch you cry

(plus she would never miss a chance to go against/defy knox)

so she stepped in and put knox in his place

she then apologised to you on his behalf and dismissed you

everyone in the room was shocked

florence doesn't usually defend anyone, talk less of apologising to them

you must be important to her

more important than they would ever understand.

are they aware that they are yanderes? are they bothered by it?

florence doesn't really see herself as a yandere. she just perceives herself as a very invested and caring lover.

yandere tendencies:

is a stalker/possessive yandere

the second florence decides that you're her darling, she will go out of her way to let everyone know

even if you're not aware of it yet

her game plan is to isolate you slowly and use that time to get close to you

but initially, she makes it pretty clear that she's into you and she will employ the help of angel and quinn to woo you

the plan will eventually work (her plans always work) and you two will begin dating

florence is the type of yandere to buy you a necklace with her initials on it and make you wear it all the time

like you're literally not allowed to take it off

and she's not above killing love rivals; whether its someone at work or somewhere else

but apart from that, florence is a pretty standoffish yandere

she prefers to watch and manage her darling from afar

only stepping in and interfering when he needs to

she's basically a ''chill gf'' (if you overlook her murderous tendencies).

in situations when she does need to interfere, she would rather not do it herself

florence usually prefers to use/manipulate someone else to do the dirty work for her

she also has a fuck ton of blackmail about everyone she knows (you included) and she doesn't mind using it to her advantage.

florence loves giving her darling gifts and will give her darling a gift every single day.

it can be something as small as flowers and a keychain to something as big as a new car

she keeps a folder of your cadid pictures in a private drawer in the office

florence will 100% defend you in any workplace arguments (even if you're the one at fault)

she can be a bit hard to please tho

and she doesn't tolerate a lot of mistakes

because you should know better darling. ♡

fun facts/trivia:

florence was raised Christian but is no longer practicing, hence why she wears the cross necklace

she's a bit insecure about her accent, especially because its so heavy and she gets flustered when someone compliments it

her favourite colour is red

she dislikes most men but there are some men she really cares about

florence used to be in a relationship with knox but things didn't work out between them

she has a tramp stamp tattoo and hip dermal piercings

her favourite meal is ramen (preferably made from scratch)

#honey's anons #yandere oc #honey answers asks #female yandere #obsessive yandere #yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #manipulative yandere #my oc angel #my oc florence #yan corp #yandere office #yandere corporation

[mikka-minns]

Hey Minnie! Hope you don't mind me coming into your inbox to ramble, but I had a realization and a theory that I think you might appreciate.

So, I know we always complain about Dominic as The Guy Who Can't Write MK, and I do think he's part of the problem, but I think the real final boss of Bad MK Writers is Shawn Kittelsen.

He wrote the MKX comic, and is thus responsible for "Cassie was the result of a one night stand and Sonya never loved Johnny before MKX" (which is a bullshit interpretation of their dynamic), Hanzo "Sub-Zero is Beyond Saving Let's Just Leave Him For Dead" Hasashi, and probably other awful shit (oh wait, now I remember. Killing off a bunch of characters unceremoniously, for really no reason other than blood. That's just a shitty use of resources)

He started working on the games in MK11, and I'm pretty fucking sure he's responsible for Kotal/Jade (weird because it has no buildup), past Sonya being an unrepentant bitch (telling the father of your future daughter to get a vasectomy when you know said daughter personally is bitch behavior. As is not reading a mission report all the way through. Sonya is an emotionally repressed soldier, duty comes before everything for her. That's kinda the point of her arc in MKX??? But now she's suddenly incapable of understanding the idea that military service is about duty and sacrifice), the weird sexual threats Shao Kahn dishes out (because what the FUCK NRS? That's never been an aspect of the character before. Forced marriage, yes, but you'll note that he has no offspring of his own. Also, that's just a little much for the tone of MK), and probably the Sindel Retcon.

I have no idea what we're getting at, other than "Dominic is semi competent at writing" and "Shawn might just be on par with Stephen King, but only if you're comparing his writing to the sewer scene in IT."

Dont worry, i dont mind at all! I do appreciate this!☺️

And yeah, Shawn is apsolutley to blame as well. I think that the whole NRS writing team hates the franchise tbh(not the whole, but the Ones who write the most important stuff for the games and media). I did hear he was one of the main writters for mk11.

You are right tho, his interpretation of the characters that he did in the comics is pretty much what is ruining them the most(before mk11 ofc). I first found mkx the game and then the comics and without the knowlage of what comic!Hanzo did, i Just Kinda Thought he was Just a vengfull ass, but then the comics are what made me hate him.

I realy want to know what all of these mfs are smoking, cuz it doesnt seem like its good for them.

I also heard that mkx the game and mkx the comic were in production at the same time, so whoever was in charge of making sure they are on the same Page didnt do a good job, since the comics are not even complitely Canon at the end. Mostly cuz they didnt fit in with the game's narative and the characters were off(even they noticed, but a little too late). The "Cassie is a product of a one night stand" is one of them, cuz, in the game, some of the dialogue seems to indicate that Sonya was realy in love with Johnny and they only divorced later cuz of their marriage problems.

Some of their choices for mk11 are just disturbing. Someone Thought of that and actualy presented it and then someone ALLOWED it!

And Ed Boon seems to not give a flying f about what people do to the franchise he has built. Just stands around and hopes it makes him money.

In advance, i apologize if i ended up a bit biased and its complitely alright and understandable if Someone disagrees with me. I am in no way a profesional and probably just letting my emotions do all talking. (imma be honest, im mostly mad cuz the torture Kuai and then make him the bad guy or imply his life is easy)

#Mortal kombat #Mortal kombat x #Mkx comics

[waywardsculs]

THE ANGELS

CUPID / EROS

Role: Patron of Love and Romance Ranking: Higher Echelons ( Nobility )

Responds to both Cupid and Eros, but his " true " name is Eros.

Very, very friendly and easy to approach. Super outgoing and probably the best of the angels to just have a general conversation with.

Genuinely believes that things like sex shouldn't be looked upon as a sin so long as it's consensual.

This little turd is so damn dense when it comes to literally anyone having an interest in him at all. He may help govern love but him?? Loved?? Naaaaah.

Bow? Nope. This boy has a sniper rifle. Much more accurate for his work honey.

Omnisexual babyyyyy

He legit has almost no brain cells okay he's just an emotional guy with lots of love to give and thinks pretty much everyone deserves some form of love. ( of course there are exceptions but shhh )

GABRIEL

Role: Messenger of Heavenly Decrees Ranking: Primordial One ( Original Archangel )

He is probably one of the laziest of the primordial angels. Why? Because it's not like the big G gives him many messages to hand out.

He doesn't really care all that much about a lot of things. He's seen so much shit that next to nothing surprises him any more.

What did surprise him however was hearing about the Exterminations. He didn't vibe with that.

Over time, he's actually come to think the whole thing of Heaven and Hell is kinda ... Ridiculous. Not that you'll get him to ever admit it.

He may seem chill but he'd literally trade someone's soul for a singular corn chip if they pissed him off enough.

He's a shit to the other primordials by sometimes purposely telling them bullshit just to watch them argue.

Demi, kinda leaning closer to Grey - Ace.

RAPHAEL

Role: Protector and Guide to New Souls Ranking: Primordial One ( Original Archangel )

Shortest temper of the primordial angels. Will not hesitate to smack others upside the head for misbehaving.

He does that but at the same time he's also someone that pushes limits at times just to see what the others will do.

Trained in multiple weapons. For what reason? Don't worry about it. It's not important I promise.

Was one of the few who knew about the Exterminations, warned about what would happen if others found out, but didn't really try to stop anything.

Doesn't involve him? Cool knock yourself out he'll sit back with popcorn and laugh as you dive face first into the mud.

Kind of an ass. No other way to put it.

Pan.

SERAPHIEL

Role: Grand Vizier of God Ranking: King of the Angels

He and his wife no longer talk. Or see each other at all. Don't mention her.

His daughters are literally the most important thing in his world and he'll fuck you up if you ever do anything to hurt them.

Probably the busiest, even more so than most of the primordials.

Eternally fucking tired please just let him rest for once ...

He had absolutely no idea about the Exterminations and, despite what some might think, is absolutely against them.

While he doesn't really like the idea of violence, he can and will throw down if need be.

Can you say single dad? ( yes he's down for a new spouse )

Demi. Stressed Demi.

URIEL

Role: Mediator of the Angels Ranking: Primordial One ( Original Archangel )

If you guessed Uriel would be the one that has the highest interest in Hell's denizens you would be absolutely correct.

He's slept with a couple of demons tbh. Don't tell anyone this. Not like he'll really get in that much trouble but still.

Genuinely misses Lucifer's presence in Heaven. He used to enjoy hearing what thoughts ran through the other's mind.

What if I told you he was always secretly fond of Lucifer but never said anything because he didn't want to risk anything.

Literally the brains of the primordials that are still in Heaven.

Omni. Has been single since the beginning of time. Softest boi until he needs to throw hands.

#SLAM DUNKS EM DOWN. #┊CUPID ═══ ✧ in character #┊GABRIEL ═══ ✧ in character #┊RAPHAEL ═══ ✧ in character #┊SERAPHIEL ═══ ✧ in character #┊URIEL ═══ ✧ in character

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Saturday, April 13th, 2024!

8:19pm: Had a quick exchange with him again. Nothing has changed and I don't want to be obsessed with his socials again tbh. I still don't really get the whole "I'm so busy" thing when that was his #1 complaint with me. Like I actually don't understand, being busy is not a flex tbh. Being on your grind is 100% a flex but that goes with work hard play hard. Just saying you're busy makes you sound like an ass 😂 whatever I don't understand anything about him anymore.

I don't want to see his socials anymore because 1) it's all fake af. 2) it makes me wonder why he couldn't change for me, but in REALITY (the real world where I reside) he hasn't changed, his life got 100x easier. No rent, a more basic bitch that doesn't expect anything from him and is weird, and free weed, everyone giving him a ride everywhere (he doesn't even have to drive ever wtf), and everyone just treats him like a spoiled child. Yes..... I'm sure it IS easy to have an emergency fund when you live with your parents for free..... Wtf do you even need an emergency fund for? Wtf kind of emergency are you having, you run out of gas (omg wait he doesn't even drive so what am I talking about) scratch that.... The only emergencies I had living with my parents had to do with my car like..... Jesus I wish that was the fucking case nowadays 💀 Omg why am I even comparing the two of us. I feel like I just snapped back to reality, this guy is still acting like a high schooler. We are literally not able to be compared anymore. I really don't give myself enough credit for doing this shit on my own (really) for 6 months. Let's see your emergency savings after that, dumbass. Stfu. I'm not trying to be mean but we are not the same. I'm about to be done grinding, I've grinded for 7 yrs I'm tired AF. I'll say it again being busy is not a flex.

11:25pm: Ugh he just pisses me off because he's a fucking liar. You can reach me anytime my ass why does he keep saying that when it's not true. What a fuck up. I hate him

2:47am: Well I was on the phone with him for three hours oops probably just fucked up my karma big time. Ugh I need this semester to enddddd. Too much sitting around time, not enough leaving the house to meet new ppl time :/ likeeee I've said a million times and need to remind myself, I don't want to be the reason they break up. Also he said he's planning on moving out with her in 4 months so September? Damn they would've been together a whole year. He said it only feels like it's been a month for him and literally his stuff is still packed up in boxes like wtf. I guess that'll just make it easier to move. Well good for him he sounds like he's really on track for a good life. Idk literally whenever I ask him about her, it's never like super positive. Maybe he just likes that he constantly has something to complain about? I have no idea. He said she's clingy, but sometimes it's too much. And he always says it's ups and downs with them. He sounds like he's really changed, but he says he can't go through breaking another person's heart. Maybe he knows I'm bullshitting him. He also says he is just too embarrassed to get back together with me and have to see my family again, etc. Sounds like he's making the best out of a fucked up situation tbh. During the call, I kept calling him out whenever he would say things that were literally stringing me along, because he didn't know what I was talking about when I mentioned it. He didn't realize how much he was leading me on with the things he's saying until I very clearly pointed it out. All that stuff I texted him must've actually done something too, because it's stuck with him about disrespecting his gf.

Long story short...... I think he's actually gonna change for her if I leave him alone lol. He just gets to live with the fact that he fucked up being with me forever. Making the best of his shit situation. Tbh those antidepressants probably made a huge impact. Glad he got the help he needed. Idk man I guess he's done with me now, he seems pretty done, except for the part where he pulled his dick out again and told me he wanted to stick his dick in my mouth. But whatever.

Actually the part that hurt me the most was when he said she's been his best friend for two years like... The worst part for him was me telling him I let a guy play with my boobs over spring break and one tiny tear rolled down his cheek. Plus I ended up lying since he asked me if someone had been in our bed and I told him no because I could tell that would've really upset him. I think he would've hung up. Also couldn't tell him that yeah someone else had met the cats and pet them. I said what are you gonna do and he .... Clearly isn't going to do anything. Lame.

Longer story short: I need to stop butting in to this mess ig. Makes my stomach hurt tbh. Too much studying today made my brain go crazy. I'm really frazzled tbh. Honestly kinda pissed off all I wanted him to do was help me with the bills and now he's magically able to save $500 a week somehow. Jesus Christ wtf was he spending it on before. I'll never know. Makes me sick to my stomach actually. And it's not magic, it's what he should've been able to do all along, he just wanted to be a little bitch before.

This has stirred up a lot of emotions that I kind of hate. He can't control himself around me fucking bullshit I don't get it. So much of him sounds good but then he does something icky like that. Idk anymore. I'm tired and talking to him has actually just made things worse, not better. End of story.

[babybluebex]

laszlo kreizler nsfw alphabet

so yeah this... Happened. the zemo version is coming soon, stay tuned! (probably tomorrow morning bc a bitch is tired lmao)

(gif credit to @lindir)

A = Aftercare.

Laszlo is such an aftercare king. He’s checking on you in every way he can think of: asking you if you feel alright, maybe massaging your hips if he had you in a weird position, offering you dinner or wine, maybe even a hot bath, if you’d like (and the bath would have special perfumed oils he had sent from Paris because Laszlo is SUCH a self care whore, he’s got soaps and perfumes out the wazoo).

B = Body Part.

His favorite part of yours are your breasts. No questions, hands down. He likes using your breasts as a pillow at night— just settling himself between your legs and resting his head on your tits is a dream he indulges in frequently. He also really loves seeing you in the new French-style of dresses that have a lower neckline, and, if you wear one of those dresses to dinner without telling him beforehand, he’s as good as gone. He’s staring the whole time and can only manage simple sentences.

C = Cum.

I think Laszlo likes to cum inside you, but he also wouldn’t mind cumming on your tits. If you’re on your knees, sucking him off, he’ll pull himself out of your mouth and almost rip your blouse in his haste to set your tits free before his orgasm rips through him. He only chooses to cum inside you if he can’t cum on your tits (for example, if you’re having slow, kissy sex and he can’t bear to leave your wet heat).

D = Dirty Secret.

Laszlo. Loves. To. Be. Degraded. From a psychological standpoint, he understands that his desire to be brought down and ridiculed is born from some sort of childhood trauma that DEFINITELY involves his father, but he just can’t help himself from getting so ridiculously turned on when you call him a dog for humping your leg while you try to sleep. Bonus points if you use his title while you do it: “Just like a little bitch in heat, aren’t you, Doctor Kreizler? You’re so aroused, you can hardly handle yourself. Are you too dumb to touch your own cock? Do you need me to do it? Oh, Doctor, what a dumb little thing you are.”

E = Experience.

Even Daniel himself has said that Laszlo has like NO experience. Laszlo got ZERO bitches (which I find hard to believe but ok whatever you say, writers of The Alienist), so, the first time y’all have sex, he’s more likely than not losing his virginity (let’s not get into the debate of “virginity is a social construct” because a.) IT IS and b.) Laszlo would lecture for hours about this). HOWEVER, these things come naturally to him. He is just Good In Bed. He figures it out very quickly, so, while you make fun of him for going a little stupid when he’s aroused, he makes up for it by bruising your cervix and apologizing later.

F = Favourite Positions.

Laszlo loves that soft, slow, kissy sex, so he’s into whatever position makes it possible for him to be inside you and to kiss you at the same time. Missionary is a go to, but sometimes he’ll have you sit on his desk and kiss your neck as he hikes your skirts up and fucks you all slow and nice.

G = Goofy.

Hardly ever? Laszlo is pretty serious most of the time, and the only time we ever see him Not Serious in the show is when he’s wasted after John’s bachelor party in season 2. So, maybe y’all went to dinner at Delmonico’s, then a ball for members of high society, and he had a little too much champagne and schnapps. He’s not like giggling and all, but his cheeks are red and he’s smiling more than usual, and calling you sweet names “Oh, mein Kätzchen” and “Meine kleine Prinzessin”. That’s Laszlo’s version of goofy.

H = Hair.

OK, my train of thought here is: LOOK AT THIS MAN’S BEARD. HIS BEARD IS NICE AS SHIT. If he treats his facial hair that good— regular trims, the beard oils we all know he uses, even if it isn't strictly canon— then his downstairs hair is nice too. Definitely soft, if maybe a little wiry sometimes (but tbh whose isn’t), and it’s a nice little cropping at the base of his cock. He also has a thin happy trail up his soft tummy, and a good amount on his chest (as we see in the show lol that much is canon).

I = Intimacy.

Laszlo is ALL ABOUT intimacy. You’ll know he’s in a ~mood~ because you’ll ask what’s being served at Delmonico’s that night, and Laszlo is like “I thought we might stay in tonight. John gave me his grandmother’s recipe for chicken soup”. He’ll light candles and pour you wine and play nice music on his gramophone, and he’ll romance you throughout dinner with little hand touches and sly smiles, until he’s kneeling in front of you and slowly kissing up your leg.

J = Jack-Off.

Honestly, he hardly does it. Of course, I’m sure he did it A LOT before he met you, but now he doesn’t need to pleasure himself anymore. He’s got you to do that. The only exception is if he has to travel for work and you can’t go with him. Even then, he’ll hold off until he absolutely can’t stand it, and then he’ll like read a letter you sent him or look at a sketch that John did of you while he whacks off; sometimes, he’ll just hold your letter to his face, and the faint trace of your perfume is enough to do the job.

K = Kink.

He likes impact play a lot (and perhaps a little roleplay wrapped up in it). On the rare occasion that his fucking is anything but soft and lovely, he’s gonna be hitting your ass and the backs of your thighs as you cling to him while he rails you stupid. Laszlo would try to hit your cheek, but he feels too bad when you wince at the pain of it. Spanking your tits is good to him too. His favorite though (and here’s where the roleplay comes in), is caning your ass. He’ll bend you over the desk in his home office and pull your skirts up past your hips, and he’ll make you count the amount of times his thick wooden cane connects with your soft asscheeks. The roleplay is, more often than not, you were his assistant who did something wrong and needed to be punished. If you miss one or forget to thank him accordingly “Thank you, sir”, he’ll focus the next hit on your thighs.

L = Location.

Either the bed or his desk. Laszlo is a little older (I don’t think we ever get an explicit age? But if we say he’s the same age as Daniel, then he’s 40 to 42-ish) so he can’t do it against a wall or anywhere too crazy (not to mention his right arm can hardly support much weight, so if he needs to hold you up, it’s probably not gonna happen). The bed is a special time for you two because of his arm; he’ll hold himself up with his left arm and rest his hand on your hip or wherever to give himself at least a little leverage. But the desk is usually easier because you can sit, or you can bend over and he can grab your hip.

M = Motivation.

He loves you and wants to worship you. It’s truly as simple as that. He loves you and thinks that you’re the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, and he wants to show his reverence for you by making love to you.

N = No.

He can’t get into the role of “daddy”, nor can he call you “mommy”. Childhood trauma aside, he will be goddamned if Sigmund fucking Freud is correct about his bullshit Oedipus complex or whatever, so he just eliminates that whole thing entirely.

O = Oral.

He’s very good at it. He’s just… His lips are soft and his beard is good, and he’s not afraid to get a little messy with it. He’ll eat you out until he absolutely has to come up for air, and he’ll have a little bit of your wetness clinging to his mustache, but then he’s right back in it. His medical degree is also put to good use here because he remembers his female anatomy and he’s locked onto your clit the entire time. The first time you ever squirted, it was because Laszlo was nipping at your clit and sucking your wet little hole and pressing his thick fingers into you, and it was A Lot To Process, but you squirted and Laszlo came in his pants instantly because he’s like “I didn’t think women could actually do that… I thought that was a thing that penny novels made up”

P = Pace.

Again, he’s a little older, so he doesn’t fuck like some wild boy. He takes his time with you, touching you and caressing you and kissing you, and his pace is the same way. He’s slow and gentle, but has the capacity to go faster and harder if you ask for it.

Q = Quickie.

Hates them. Never. Never ever ever. If he can’t properly romance you and take his time with you, then what’s the point??

R = Risk.

Surprisingly, Laszlo is a little schemer, and he loves running a risk. He’s already looked down upon by other society members, so what’s the harm in squeezing your ass at a party? PERHAPS it’s inappropriate to get caught in a dark corner with your hand down his trousers and him kissing your neck, but it’s easy to blame it on the alcohol.

S = Stamina.

Once more, he is firmly middle aged, so he can do one round— maybe two, if he’s feeling particularly frisky. Usually, though, one is more than enough for both of you.

T = Toy.

HAVE YALL SEEN SEX TOYS FROM THE 1890S?? SHITS ARE SCARY. Laszlo does not like toys, but he understands their need for existing, so he may not like them but he tolerates them. That being said, he likes to watch you use them. LIke, he’ll sit in a chair by the bed and request you “put on a good show”, and he’ll watch you fall apart, and he’ll only come and touch you if you beg and plead for him to.

U = Unfair.

Mhm, so, in Laszlo’s mind, sex and pleasure are not just a give and take, it’s a two way street. They can (and often need to) coexist. He doesn’t like to initiate something if you won’t be able to reciprocate, so he’s not too into teasing or things. At the aforementioned parties, he’ll only goose your ass if he knows you’re 100% down for it.

V = Volume.

He’s fairly quiet. His mouth is usually really close to your ear, and you’re the only one who gets to hear his pretty little noises. The loudest he’ll be is when he’s come home after traveling and it’s felt like ages since he’s made love to you, he’s gonna come inside you, and his little gasp and moan are louder than usual.

W = Wild Card.

He is down to be tied up. He doesn’t like to tie you up, but if he’s the one being restrained, he’s all over it. It’s nothing too intense, just using a ribbon for your hair to tie his left hand to the headboard, not super tight but enough to make his fingers a little tingly, but he loves it. He loves the switch of the dynamic, how he’s fully at your mercy and you can use him however you please; usually, you just suck him off and ride him, but the endless possibilities get him hard as soon as you pull out the ribbon.

X = X-Ray.

Laszlo has Big Dick Energy, so he has to have a big dick. The best example of this sort of energy is in the very first episode after he goes and interviews Wolf, and comes to speak to Teddy, and Teddy is like “you interviewed the suspect? On whose authority??” and laszlo is like “Mine” like OH HIS DICK IS BIG I KNOW IT. He’s got an above average length and girth, but we know our man likes to eat, so some of his weight goes to his dick, so it’s like,,, He’s got a fat cock, sorry, I don’t make the rules

Y = Yearning.

Constantly. Neverending. He’s at work and he’ll catch a glimpse of a pastel drawing that you commissioned from John for Laszlo’s birthday that sits in a frame on his desk, and his heart starts to hurt from missing you. When he comes home, he’ll embrace you and kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years, and he’ll want to hear all about your day. You have your doctor so whipped for you, and it’s a different kind of whipped than being pussy whipped. He’s, like, feelings whipped.

Z = ZZZ.

He’s a sleepy little baby after you guys finish. His eyes will be a little heavy and sticky as he’s cleaning up and caring for you (and you definitely coo at him “Oh, Las, you��re so sleepy!”) but when you’re both back in bed, our little man is circling his arm around your waist and nuzzling his cheek into your shoulder. He’s so soft and affectionate, and he’s out like a light when you kiss his forehead and tell him you love him.

#laszlo kreizler #the alienist #laszlo kreizler smut #daniel bruhl x reader #daniel bruhl smut #daniel brühl x reader #daniel brühl smut #laszlo kreizler x reader #daniel bruhl #daniel brühl

[toxiic-wastee]

hey buddy, I’ve got a request

how does the duwang gang (+Hazamada and Mikitaka and maybe even Yukako 😳😳) react to reader sending dumb shit at 3 AM? like memes or what happened in their dream. modern AU kinda because of textin and all, also gender neutral preferred.

sorry if you’re working on something else, thank you buddyyyyyy 🐎🐎🐎

IM WORKING ON DIFFERENT 7 SMUT REQUESTS BUT THIS IS BETTER. THIS IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT IT IS 3:12 PM AND IM IN THE SHOWER WHILE WRITING THIS ON A TUESDAY SO LETS SEE HOW FAST I CAN WRITE THIS WOOOOOO. Idk who you count as the Duwang but Ik who I count so. Can be read as romantic or platonic (except for Koichi it’s romantic for him)

Josuke

-you remind him of Okuyasu tbh, the memes, the stupid ass dreams, the rants and you being sleepy and dumb.

-it’s so funny to him though.

-Tomoko took away his video game console for 2 weeks because she caught him talking to you at 4am.

-you told him about what happened in your dream and he mentally face Palmed, he gave you a resting bitch face picture once and you saw his hair all messy and you laughed at him so much. (Even going as far to threaten to leak the photo)

-there’s probably a group chat if you and Josuke and Okuyasu and Josuke just has to put up with your guys’ bullshit lmao.

Okuyasu

-what makes you think he isn’t doing the exact same thing to you??

-you guys get no fucking sleep I swear. you both constantly text, and the fact you're just as weird as him makes him so happy, youre his 1st best bud, mans dont even care about Josuke anymore.

-he wakes up early so he can go to your house and walk to school together so instead of texting you abt his dream he can yell it at you.

-he probably sends you old vines.

Koichi

-Ayana found him asleep with his phone buzzing due to you spamming him at 3am.

-he isn’t awake very late, he goes to sleep early. So when you first start spamming him he adjusts his sleep schedule to be able to text you. He probably gets caught talking to you a couple times by Mrs. Hirose, she’s so nice and sweet though. she gives him a warning and invites you over to spend the night and makes you guys food. But Ayana eavesdrops and reports to her mother about your guys’ conversations..

-he genuinely thinks the stuff you send him is funny and he giggles silently at all the stupid shit you send him.

Rohan Kishibabe

-he is so fucking pissed.

-“Y/N why would you interrupt me for your childish stories?”

-he probably blocks you :/ (he unblocks you later tho,, only to block you again the next night, it’s an endless cycle.)

-After a while he enjoys your goofy stories about your dreams, he may smile at your memes sometimes but never to go as far to actually laugh.

-you guys probably call often, Rohan is good at multitasking and can call while drawing his manga.

-as long as you don’t tell anybody your calling him during work hours he doesn’t care. (He doesn’t want the gang calling him while he’s at work, ur the exception)

-if he is up late and texts you it’s probably him giving you a list of shampoo, soaps and cleaning products because he says you stink.

Yukako Yamagashi

-As seen in most of Yukakos episodes she doesn’t enjoy people goofing off a lot, she’s strict and focused. Which is so beautiful I love her-

-She doesn’t mind you going off task and not sleeping though. Mainly because you spend the time texting her. She adores you and the stuff you find funny. She isn’t one for memes but I can see her liking memes after you spam them.

-whenever you tell Yukako about your dreams she always laughs and chuckles, she sends back long detailed paragraphs in response but if she’s too tired she send small paragraphs with poor grammar.

-She probably sends you pictures of herself at night, mainly her getting ready for bed with a smile, to remind you to “Go to sleep, we have a long day ahead of us! ❤️”

Hazamada

-he’s the type to send cursed images, you can expect horrifying shit to look at, I kinda feel like he would send pictures of dead animals with the words “Pablo dead” over them?? If this stuff freaks you out it’s gonna be a fictional animal, probably from a manga he likes.

-he tells you about his dreams too, he usually has nightmares but telling you helps him laugh it off.

-sometimes Surface steals Toshikazu’s phone and texts you, and if he does it means Hazamada is asleep. Toshikazu will take a picture of the sleeping Hazamada and send it to you saying “bitch fell asleep at 9pm.”

Mikitaka

-he doesn’t have a phone, you’d probably have to buy him one. Or he’ll steal one. Either works 🤪

-he is amused by your ranting, he finds it very enjoyable.

-he doesn’t understand many of your memes but he always laughs.

#mikitaka jjba #mikitaka #jjba #hazamada #hazamada toshikazu #toshikazu #jojo #jojos bizarre adventure #discord #jjba x reader #josuke x reader #josuke higashikata #Okuyasu #Okuyasu nijimura #mentions of Ayana Hirose #mentions of Mrs. Hirose #koichi hirose #koichi #Rohan #Rohan kishibe #Rohan jjba #diamond is unbreakable #diu x reader #Yukako yamagashi #Yukako x reader

[cinnamonest]

I’ve read most everything on your yandere Genshin chars but just got to Kaeya n the punishments and was pleasantly surprised by the back-door entry punishment and feel now safe to ask...

Are there other chars that would resort to this or maybe even be inclined towards anal? XD weirdly one of my biggest interests tbh besides breeding I don’t knooow whyy.

Oh same anon. It’s up there in my top kinks and I don’t talk bout anal enough it’s such a good kink, so I’m about to change that and give it appreciation, obvious tw for anal here

It's obviously a big thing for sadists of any kind. So basically, aside from Kaeya, Childe and Scara are both likely to get into it to some extent. Childe slightly less so than Kaeya, but both of them will use it as a form of punishment -- Childe is just slightly more prone to spanking than anal because it ignites our boy's weird fetish for violence a bit better. Whereas Kaeya's more of a horny bastard so punishments that have his dick in you in some way or another are the best.

Notably, Childe's more into actually warning you and making you squirm, listening to you beg and whimper and see you all scared, so he draws out the process before actually shoving his dick in. He's just mean about it, but he's big on verbal mockery to begin with -- tells you things like "don't worry, it only hurts a lot :)" or "it's ok, feel free to cry :)". Bastard. Also likes to hold you in positions so you can try to pull yourself off, that way he can just grab you and pull you back on.

Kaeya's more into it in a surprise sort of way, will just kinda get lube or cum all over your holes so you don't specifically know and kinda shove it in to your surprise. It's cute, your eyes go wide open and you squeal and scream and kick your feet and try to pull yourself off. He kinda forces you into positions where you can't move though, you have no choice but to just take it -- mating press, flat on your stomach, bent over and pressed against something so you can't move forward. He doesn’t mock you beforehand since he likes to catch you off guard, but laughs at your initial squealing and struggling and mocks you throughout, as well as after, thinks it’s cute how you can’t stand and how you hiss and whimper every time you sit down or move around.

Scara's similar but unfortunately for darling he'll also just fuck your poor ass at random too just because he feels like it because he likes watching you cry, or maybe is just mad and needs something to take it out on, which almost always ends up being you. He's definitely the roughest and the most likely candidate to pull the "yeah spit is perfectly acceptable lube" bullshit so it hurts the most. Also degrading about it.

Other notable candidates to actually do anal or get into it in some way, perhaps some surprisingly, would be Chongyun, Xiao, Razor, and Zhongli. The first three have a commonality where it's most likely an accident at first, fucking you too hard and accidentally slip out, try to shove their dick back in, and end up watching you squeal and pull back when their cock slips into the wrong hole.

Chongyun's is most likely during a manic episode, and only occurs during those episodes -- he's just fucking so hard and fast it ends up happening more than once. He apologizes afterwards, feels bad about it, but it keeps happening. Honestly it's something he genuinely likes, but his normal self doesn't want to hurt you, but the manic self is basically his "true" self without any inhibitions, so he doesn't hold back. He couldn’t really tell you why he likes it, it’s just hot.

Razor and Xiao are similar, it just is so so so tight and feels so good on their dick and once they've accidentally discovered it you'll wish they hadn't. Razor doesn't get the difference, will just kinda be like "oh, sorry" but keep fucking you. He just knows that it feels nice, but doesn't really have a preference, boy just needs his dick in a tight wet warm hole, and if it's in one or the other he's not gonna bother to take it out, just keeps fucking you. You’ll get used to it. Probably. 

Xiao might do it intentionally, it just feels so nice you know? It wouldn't click in his mind at first to use it for punishment purposes, but eventually seeing you squirm and cry he puts two and two together and it clicks and he realizes it's a good way to punish. But he doesn't draw it out or threaten you, just kinda shoves it in if he's mad. 

The most unfortunate part to both these boys is they don't get the difference so they fuck just as hard and fast and don't quite understand the concept of preparation and lube. They'll find some form of lube because they don't want to tear you (because then they couldn't keep fucking you you know?), but see no need to stretch you out beforehand.

And Zhongli might come as a bit of a surprise, but it's entirely punishment based and he's slower and gentle about it, but I mean, his dick is huge so no matter how prepared you are it's still gonna hurt like a bitch and be a very effective form of punishment. He has a unique form of how to handle offenses -- most come up with whatever they feel like on the spot, but he lays out early on a system of sorts, a mental chart of how different offenses are punished, scales of severity, basically "this offense is punished this way each time", very specific, right down to the number of spanks and the like. So you can't get out of it, because, well, you knew exactly what would happen, but you chose to do what you did anyway, so you should have been prepared for the consequences. Also, he gets really into plugs, especially ones with tails attached, probably has you wear one most of the time.

And finally Albedo gets super into it tbh and is the most likely candidate for lots of things. He's our gross boi. He's quiet about it, like the majority of his gross and sadistic tendencies, and this often, similar to Kaeya, results in you being very caught off guard and by surprise. Will literally just switch holes mid-fucking. If he *does* warn you, he's big fan of making you suck his dick and fingers to use it as lube beforehand. He does, thankfully, get a lot of it though, spits on your hole, likely uses actual lube a lot of the time, he likes the squelching and fluids. On the downside, since he's into all things gross or weird or less common, he gets into testing your poor ass's limits, seeing what the biggest size plug you can handle is, stretching you out, see how long you can hold things in. Also most likely candidate to get into weird things and shoving various objects in you - slimes, toys, inanimate objects etc. Also most likely candidate for painful things like figging or finding a way to make lube super cold, hot, tingly etc. And, finally, most likely candidate to completely cut you off from PIV for an extended period of time - instead of a one-time punishment, darling is looking at several days, even weeks of only anal. It's cute how you try to run away and all. And will definitely try to figure out a way to make you cum from it, too.

#lena's asks