#and so idk I'm good at just like keeping it to myself in general I know I look feminine and and I'm not bothered by most feminine terms

[femmeidiot]

I need 2 be braver about enforcing my pronouns with people

#But I always exist in a weird limbo space because I've never even come out to my parents as an adult #that doesn't mean I didn't try to when I was a kid or that they didn't read my journal one time and find out about my first girlfriend #And then my dad took me on a weird hour long drive to tell me about how I was an evil sinner and then bought me kfc biscuits so I lied and #told my parents I was straight now #but anyway no one in my family besides my sister actually KNOWS anything about my gender or sexuality #and so idk I'm good at just like keeping it to myself in general I know I look feminine and and I'm not bothered by most feminine terms #but idk it does make me sad that most people still don't see me fully #anyway idk there's some trauma bye

[adore-gregor]

ugh

#altough it got better in a way my self confidence is still so bad :( #some days it's worse than others it changes with my mood or idk #just lately i have been feeling kinda down about myself #i just have never been this naturally confident person and i feel like i'm not enough or not doing enough a lot at times :/ #when i was younger it was even worse and i thought of myself that no guy would ever like me bc i'm so not good looking #obviously that was not true and guys do like me and i would not go that far anymore but often i look at myself and think average at best #even though that might not even be true and sometimes i like what i look like in a mirror but i think to myself just good lighting or sth #and so often when i see a bad picture of myself i feel so ashamed like i'd just wish i looked differently #and when guys tell me i'm pretty or also other people i find it so difficult to believe that like i don't see that in myself #but it does not make a sense i know others don't think of me like that also guys i think of as a attractive but i don't see myself like that #but it's not just that i often also feel doubtful i will ever achieve much #i always think i should be finished with uni already or have better grades #and mostly that i'm not smart enough in general #but my grades are not even bad and i'm not failing any classes #like i just got another a in that class (i'm actually really happy about that one) but then i think okay but some people have all a's #like i could do better i could study harder #unfortunately i'm a master of procrastination as well 😅 and quite good at lol #what i mean is that i manage to study very little compared to others and still get good grades - sounds good but keeps me lazy 😅 #and i also think when i achieve a good grade often that i don't deserve it that much because i could have studied more #and that i just got lucky which is not very rational i know 😅 #or once i actually just passed an exam (i studied the night before) and i though yeah the teacher just felt sorry for me and let me pass #realistically i don't think it was like that #and at uni i studied for big exams which were feared by students for 2 days and got a b #which should indicate i'm somewhat smart but i think i just know the right study techniques and got lucky again #altough i do know good study techniques i think :)) #buuut sometimes i do things which are so dumb like i do have these moments my mind is going like blank #and it's not difficult things even #like in football we did this exercise of a series of passes and everyone got it but me until a few tries like how is this harder #i'm just kind of bad at envisioning like this series 3 dimensionally in my mind idk i usually get it once i do it and remember the movement #what it feels like

[astrxealis]

okay rambles but i started creatively writing in like ... 5th grade? and. oh god just a little encouragement to anyone looking to get into writing or insecure or whatnot, but HELLS, maybe it's to he expected with my (obviously) very young age and inexperience with writing then, but my writing was really. yeah. Yeah. but then i'm what... a lot older now, obviously, and my writing has gotten leagues better. i'm probably not a good example for this bcs childhood years development stuff are different etc etc BUT practicing writing more and whatnot really does go a long way :]

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #my writing in 2020 is a lot different than my writing now even! especially so compared to my writing from 2010s #reading a lot of media is also really important :] i always read a lot of books BUT i only started to really read poetry since the pandemic #which were uh basically my early teenage years so idk if i'm a good example for this bcs childhood brain development and stuff (???) #BUT STILL ..... playing games like ffxiv and being really invested in the lore and writing + reading more poems and being fascinated with #more authors and pieces of literature + expanding my general vocabulary knowledge whatnot ... it all really goes a long way! #oh man i'm pretty proud of myself actually. i do love my writing. as imperfect (as all things are) it is. #i had a lot of Pauses with writing throughout my uhh relatively short life thus far since i'm NOT yet an adult and all aha but yeah! #so bless ffxiv again for bringing back my writing spirit... and other medias and whatever <3 #rn i have to thank bg3 for bringing back my Creative Spirit bcs i've been writing a lot more again and having/working on my creative ideas!! #okay i just wanted to ramble a bit lol ^_^ there! #idk my being a writer is very important to me. and my journey as one too. #i want to make a book one day! most feasibly would be to make a collection of short stories :] a bit similar to 'm is for magic' maybe bcs #i grew up with that lol neil gaiman i adore you <3 #i have a very special original world in my head but i am a little selfish and want to keep them all to myself... oops. or who knows! #anyway i have a lot of ideas and i adore writing and literature sooo much <3 #anyway. okay. leaving it here. #cheering on every writer author whatever out there !!! unless you're a sucky person of course yuck bigots but yeah ^^ <3 #huge writing inspo for me is uhhhhhhhh. thinking #ffxiv! does ffxiv count. esp drk quests. and shb as a whole. and then... edgar allan poe? neil gaiman? yeah? #can't remember anyone else good gods but i love vivid and imaginative storytelling and writing descriptively :] a bit of prose but also #quite simple in its eloquence (???) unsure honestly oh gods anyway BYE rambles over apollo signing off beep boop AGHHHHH (screams)

[thecherrygod]

/

#my posts #you know how this usually goes #i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao #... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better #maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more #2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man. #like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao #. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao #like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general #what i do isnt good enough #what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread? #and like all things considered i should be doing good currently #or at least not this bad #but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man. #so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao #also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me #but like.. more than usual #and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem #idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse #or they i will regret lmao #i. wont do any of those #also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die #not against it but its not the only option #just lay there and float..... also not against it #i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is #like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao #... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired #.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao #like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah #its kinda worse than i thought lmao

[h-a-unted]

I want more Billy. I want to make more introspections. I want to develop my understanding AND writing of him. I get so self-conscious whenever I reply as him, I wanna be confident with what I do. I really love his character omfg, so I want to make him justice with my portrayal. I just really love him, it feels like he was tailor-made to be my favorite character, so much so that I feel like I freeze when I think I fall short with my portrayal.

#➹ out of curses ✼ (ooc) #I may be similar to him irl but I'm not as brutal by nature – I can keep myself from going too far usually #but I get him a lot and I love every aspect of him #I just feel like I'm not as brutal when I write him – I don't know how far is too far – I don't want people to be uncomfortable with him #but I also want you guys to experience a good portrayal that makes you think of him if even a bit #idk I guess I just care so much for him that I worry I'm not doing it right lmao #but I'll keep writing anyway #today on Kuroki is obsessed with Billy and the boys in general #delete later maybe???

[itspileofgoodthings]

me like ..... am I a bad teacher .......because I make class fun and my students laugh ........ surely this is wrong ........

#actually that's not really the guilt #the guilt is that I feel certain I'm not stopping or preventing the cheating the way that I should be #or enforcing the rules consistently #i just have this horrible nagging feeling that I'm letting them get away with too much #and it isn't good for them or me or the school #but also like. my class is fun. they are paying attention most of the time to the text and engaging with it in a variety of ways #i enjoy my job (most of the time) so i am not burnt out and bitter #i think i'm opening some real doors for them and isn't that what matters? #and yet! #anyway this has been the voice in my head over and over and over the past couple of weeks!!!! #because there is a lot of cheating that goes on. just generally. and shenanigans i don't approve of and all of that #and there is this part of me that wants to be a hard-ass #not because i think i should be and not because i'm putting that pressure on myself #but because i don't WANT to let them get away with everything! it's important to me that i sometimes catch them out #make them face the consequences of their actions #in a meaningful way! #idk i guess i just need to keep aiming for that without feeling that i need to remove any element of fun #or personality from my room #idk idk just musing aloud

[batfamfucker]

Tell the truth comic fans challenge. When's the last time you read a comic and how many have you actually read?

P.S. This isn't me being gatekeepy btw I'm being genuine because I'm gonna be honest I've probably only actually read about five series and every thing else I've gotten from movies/series, online, or fanon. I know all the important events. Have I actually read them? No because my ADHD just wouldn't. And I can't be assed having to read important events if it's in a shit run by a bad writer.

#Also ngl I was determined to read from the very start but. I would not have the time for that in any life so lmao #I have read quite a few of the early Batman comics and do actually hope to read as many of his as possible #But I have not actually sat and read all of the Batfam origins yet tho I intend to #I know them all and I've seen the panels just never actually sat down and gone through it all #I also have read a lot of the Golden Era Batman and Superman team up comics where they basically act like parents #Taking Dick out on family day trips. It's a fun read tbh #And back when I was a early teen and couldn't afford comics I watched YouTuber who would read them for you and tell you about them/show you #So I've read half of Batman Eternal from that but he stopped uploading vids about it which made me really sad lmao #So I need to get around to reading the rest myself/rereading it because it's been a while #I think I liked the story but wouldn't canonise it in my mind #I also read a bit of Suicide Sqaud that way I think? So that too #I totally don't pirate read Injustice #I like it but I think some of it is iffy. But that's the case with comics in general #Batman: Wayne Family Adventures is the only I actually keep up with #Probably because it's more accessible but also because it's the kind of comic I've wanted about the Batfam for ages #There's room for improvement and I would like to see how one similar to that style would be made like. In the fully canon mainstream comics #Because I'm aware it's very fanon/fan servicey but honesty after all the DC chaos we deserve it. But I would like to see more family #Urban Legends is really good. But Idk. I'm very particular about my vision lmao #Let me be a writer is what I'm saving. Or make a competant TV show *Glares at Titans* #Titans is good but God do they fucking butcher Jason and Bruce. I am sick of DC TV and film adaptions doing the Batfam dirty #Like. The animated movies #Tim just is never a thing ever. Why #Titans does have him and I like that. But I haven't watched that season ngl because I don't like how they write Bruce #Like. He doesn't. Look for cjild soldiers bruh. I'm disappointed with Titans because they coulda done so well #But Bruce is far too old and they made Dick almost murderous with him and they fucked up Jason. I haven't seen Tim's- #-Characterisation yet but I'm scared to at this point #Alfred must be fucking dead because he would be SO OLD if Bruce is already like 60 bruh. No offence to the actor but yeah. #Chella Man is the best thing about the show. Tbf I adore the cast other than Bruce. But everyone is just so OOC and it doesn't- #Stick to the comics at all #Idk it just. Isn't it lmao

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i think i've only seen a soma playthrough twice and the first time i didn't absorb it great lol but upon just some light brushing up (incl a short article that was one of the few results that cropped up when i was like "show me the images for 'soma's save feature featured fisting, right' (yeah basically)") it's like, it's always fun when you're just left with a lot of room to Interpret Themes and unsurprisingly at this juncture i'm lasering in on just, like, the matter of [the self vs the other] via this premise that basically people can just make a copy of their Psyche at any point (but needing to find a new & different Soma in which to upload it but like, largely setting that aside when In This Scenario the new bodies don't affect their minds / sense of self at all....except for when they sometimes do? or maybe not. the like glitchy monsters are just kind of WAU automatons, right. and the people are all able to act / communicate themselves as people, though they might be affected by like, existential crises over the goings on) wherein like....the protagonist can Split In Two* at a few points via the psyche copying/uploading, and then the game Follows the copy that will be continuing to advance the plot, and the version of the protagonist we Were following is now An Other even though it's like, that was The Self (at least insofar as that was our first person pov player character) up till just now. and the protagonist can Know like, yeah that's You right over there also. and yet iirc from like, yesterday's light research, in the first instance he at least gets the Option to kill that Other/Self who was, up till just then, the Self to us too, if that makes him feel better abt the existential crisis, or at least discomfort, enough to like, keep moving right along lol (speaking of. just the other day i was like "adagioly onomatopoeiaing the opening banjo strums of rainbow connection from the muppet movie soundtrack does so much for me" and then i learned it was the anniversary of its theatrical release. hell yes. also memorably once when like marinating for hours in a general malaise & failing to find the wherewital to get up i was like "haha oh wait. i'm playing the song 'movin right along' from the muppet movie in my head. okay" up & at em)

anyways the fisting article (which, i was wondering what thoughts it would have on that truly interesting facet of the game. mostly it posited that the uhh sphincteresque penetration of it all would be Typically considered to make cishet men anxious / threatened / vulnerable, and notes the protagonist (hypothetically a cishet man) is indeed trepidatious about it, while also arguing he markedly Doesn't really hesitate in shit that hurts or endangers others in the course of his shit (though ig that can also depend on the player? haven't really rewatched it recently enough to know how much his dialogue adds to [as a character though he's making it clearer he just wants to cut a swath through your shit asap]) and also questions whether the game thinks of (or, from their argument, knows of) the protag as pretty sphincteresque himself. and like yeah probably imo lol like thee ending being what it is, and as far as i know no like Multiple Endings like in amnesia series* stories usually, and thus more room to have a protagonist who talks to characters in the present and i think like, without the ability to choose what he says

anyways that the protagonist can Understand like, hey see that guy over there, that's literally also you rn, and yet he can [Not accept that] in one case such that he'll kill that Self for "his own" Self's comfort really, as the fisting article expressed, to continue believing he is Unique and the One True Self, the only Real [himself]. when, to be sure, the game Could have kept the first person pov on that version of him we'd Been up till then, and had that pov of the one killed. or maybe left behind in another instance, i don't remember all the "transfers"....catherine Explicitly explaining that only the copy/upload format is possible, Not Transfers, making sense what with like. her magic brain scans that can can wholly parse & store your Psyche data, whatever that'd be like, definitely not being meant to, say, Extract the person's Psyche from their living human body upon doing so. while the ending's drama comes from the game Now staying with the version of the protag who'd been our first person pov character prior to that "transfer," who is Again like "why am i still here" despite having the "it's not actually a transfer" explained, b/c This version Just So Happens to be the copy of the copy of the copy like simon(4) or (5) or whatever and ofc can't have been the one(s) already just left behind somewhere back there in the complex or he wouldn't have been able to be at that point in the first place. and then "killing" catherine b/c he's so pissed, i remember it as him hitting whatever device was her effective Soma, but the article i think suggested she just got too stressed in turn and that Output fried the device. while, of course, post credits shows us their "transferred" selves just fine chilling in the ark like whew glad all that's done with

anyways just getting around to the fact of how it's easy to land on catherine as the center of the game....and of course she's the one really Not having crises over [my god, copies of my Self] or others' selves or what all, having even less of a usual Soma than simon but rolling with it, and evidently having already fully absorbed her Self as a distinct version from her original Self, despite having the same links to her that make simon or anyone else who's been copied into whatever other Soma feel like he's continuously been Himself(tm), the one true Real Self he's always been....and like, naturally catherine being the one behind the entire project of [what if we copy/paste people's psyches into a big ol mmorpg server & shoot it into space so that Maybe something can happen with them / in a way they can continue to exist] so she's Been thinking of, you know, being separate from these Selves turned Others who you'll jettison into space beyond even the body of the earth. unless it's supposed to stay in orbit lol i do not remember the details....and ofc like plenty of other people are like wow that's Fucked Up or it's Not Us and like, the latter sure is true with with the [copying, not transferring] element, but also the former is more choose your own adventure (interpretation) when the game isn't about like, and the simulation Is fucked up, or there's any element of distress or dissonance to existing on the ark, though you can't really know that until the post credits scene confirms you're just hanging out for real....which, that article was also going in on the character who's on this quest to kill the WAU as like "the versions of us it makes isn't Real it's Corrupting" and like, arguably the WAU as just kind of, naturally, something capable of growing, and doing so, and the real problem seeming to come in with the [doing whatever for supposed safety but superceding/supplanting/displacing autonomy in doing so] like, people who did not agree to whatever was done re: their Somas or they would've remembered & been like yeah i'm hanging out as a robot now, or a goop guy, gunk [YES], etc. but separate from that obvious issue it's like, my guy, You're a copy made by the WAU now lol, you're your whole person that you are, with the thoughts & feelings to decide you wanna go on a quest to destroy it, and whatever capacity to pursue it....either way i think the game makes it clear enough the WAU is a Neutral force exercising no conscious discernment, it Is a body, or it's some body (once told me) anyways lol, though i guess i did just go "those Monsters that can chase you are just wau manifestations right" so that's getting kind of complex lol, but even that can be taken as, like, it Mimicking human's shapes & bipedality & other external characteristics, i guess, and just the way an overall theme can be [hmm where's that division between the soma and psyche, machine and ghost] the WAU has been expanding and making various forms of itself, and of humans, and that's also an element of the fisting that starts out as a fingering and can end with having to leave part of yourself in WAU's core if you have completed the choice to corrupt & destroy it, that Connection and Interfacing is required, with increasing [get it in there] required as well though there's no given clear in universe reason why (w/my theory here being: just the Themes of the increasing interaction / reducing Boundary)

where was i going with this. idk naturally there's people like "well you don't have to see the wau as evil or at least required to be destroyed" like yeah one can imagine the case for that, wherein again this one guy's hypothetically mad abt like oh it can't be Us it's making, like, brother in christ You are here as You are b/c of what wau did, if you don't think You're legitimate enough, how can you be dead set on pursuing any decision you make. but also the lack of autonomy wherein wau has (probably? again would have to rewatch) killed people to transfer them to a less fragile soma, but a) also maybe it's just acted when people were already dying / killed from other causes, and naturally there's the Everyone There Doomed To Die Fairly Imminently factor and b) that [wau's neutral / purely soma no psyche (or is it. etc)] aspect that is that classic mixup of wau just acting on its programming in a way unintended by its programmers re protecting life and c) i think WAU can sure be interpreted as a parallel counterpart to the ark project, where people agreed to the latter, & get to chill with simulated bodies in a simulated world, versus the WAU being that [body, world, realm of physical existence] which is funky & Not like a cool nice recreation of the usual world & is also at the bottom of the ocean, but it's sure trying to extend the existence of ppl's psyches by shoving them into whatever robots or slapping together parts or propping up their original body or what all, i don't remember that many of the characters encountered

Anyways Back To Catherine For Real. i'd forgotten this element completely, but that when catherine finds out her original self had been killed by crewmates (lol. amongst) for being set on carrying out the plan for the ark, Her Project, (i.e. launching it into space (risking that launch going incorrectly) vs keeping it on site at the bottom of the ocean here (theoretically less risky, according to at least the crewmate who killed her about her insisting on launching it anyways)) and catherine's copy / now alternate self comments on being like, a bit disappointed And surprised b/c like she says "i knew they didn't like me, but," like not thinking that dislike would lead to a semi accidental killing her (where apparently the guy who killed her may have been wearing the like powered diving suit w/the extra Strength to operate in the water pressure, like oh didn't mean to hit her That hard. in a different soma already) and seeing other ppl (not in universe) commenting on how it sure did seem to be culmination of like "the way others treated her" and how catherine always mentioned like, never having really had friends including as a crewmate here, being an Introvert....in fact, now i'm remembering that catherine doesn't even say "i knew they didn't like me, but" but rather something very close to "i know i'm not easy to like, but" like, aaaugh....like, as ever, a character or a Real Life Person sharing any particular info like "i'm [xyz]" Isn't Required for just trying to always not be ableist and to always treat other people as people even if they don't "just be normal" correctly enough, supposedly. rather than [what is "just being normal" is Correct & Good and you do Not need to undergo a continuous lifelong journey of in fact questioning this & navigating & learning how to communicate & interact & relate, you just need to fleetingly muster some superficial unhelpful Bonus efforts sometimes when you encounter the rare "exception" like someone who hands you their License To Autiste and you can let them keep their fidget cube and continue treating everyone you encounter ever organic aba style]....like, naturally in the game there's no twist where catherine turns out to be Evil or even antagonistic. she's like, patient, encouraging, friendly, helpful all throughout. she's also, ofc, simon's only guide (adding to the suspense of that [my god. my only guide was evil, and/or just my antagonist now anyways]) so he doesn't really get to pick someone he'd Like more. but that like, lifelong matter of why catherine doesn't Get to have had friends. that even as this professional associate she's treated differently, and worse, b/c you have to personally like someone & find them charming & je ne sais quoissy to Not be worse to them? it's fine to be shitty until catherine can, say, say "i've noticed you're being kind of shitty. it's probably b/c i'm autistic, officially, which i'm choosing to share with you & am now presenting my license about it, so maybe be cool about it" and then and only then go "oh ok" and Make The Exception rather than shifting your entire shitty Rule (they also would not actually really make the exception. "shoutout" too to the concept that, of course, it's actually Disrespectful to stop hating autistic ppl b/c you should treat them The Same as anyone else, and you're bringing that organic ABA all the time as part of your "just be normal" ethos life, so be sure to keep being an asshole to them & double empathy probleming putting all the depletion, extraction, punishment, losses, harms on them and all the rewards on yourself)

and like, catherine being killed b/c she was this Body who was going to take away the ark (her project / creation, which she was also just insisting on following what'd always been the plan for) wherein like, even if this guy didn't mean to kill her, he sure did after lashing out at her, same as happens w/simon in the end....and catherine also failing to be thee most "normal/default" version of a person as well by being a Woman, and probably not white either, and, of course, a nonwhite woman, also making her that much more vulnerable to being Out Of Line(tm) by just like, existing as a person & trying to do her shit, though misogyny, racism, orientalism or the like isn't explicitly invoked or especially implicitly hinted at that hard either, but it's like, how does this [scifi magical realism set in the not That distant future but material made in the way less distant past, i.e. all intents & purposes modern / current day of: in the 2010s] have Relevance beyond "would that be fucked up or what" type Invention that doesn't map on to our experiences at all....you don't Have to read into catherine twice being killed by a man who's lashing out b/c she's not delivering what he wants, but you sure don't Have to Not and be like "this is definitely No Misogyny world" like they're still being implicitly ableist b/c she's just not deemed Winsomely Likable enough, she's internalized that with that "i'm not easy to like" framing, why assume a premise of [misogyny is over] [racism is over] etc. whilest soma doesn't really proffer any scenario of like "oh if it weren't for our being able to perceive our designated Physical Differences in our human bodies, all that oppression would be over," that's not being explored even in the specific situation of its plot in the first place; people on the ark seem to have the simulation of the same bodies they originally did, ppl Can retain like, how they'd move, their voices, their sense of their bodies: elements of their physicality. and, you know, whether one even supposes there Is any meaningful body/mind division, though in soma it Is this premise like oh yeah we can digitize your psyche perfectly okay, such that your copy would experience no disruption in that Sense Of Selfness, which is what makes everything particularly like, whoah, and [wow this is just like soma] whenever something kind of invokes similar enough What Ifs but probably less engagingly lol....while also soma is flexible and spacious in letting you interpret shit, you Can defer from fisting wau to death, you don't have to be like "it's so true. thee horrors" abt the Copies Of Selves, who really just become Others to whatever now-other versions of that person, i.e. how catherine, who, as the person who wanted to scan copies of ppl's psyches & put them in a just chilling simulation server launched into space for the Chance of being copy/pasted elsewhere eventually and the chance for the participants to Exist in some form Now, and who did so, is never like, shocked or freaked out by the notion / reality of these copies' existence even though she didn't set out figuring any scans' uploads would end up on the ocean floor stations, she's not aghast & distressed in the end when after having uploaded her latest Self data to the ark & launched it, she's also Not on the ark and Still in the eventually / doomed ocean floor station, even if it's a bummer, b/c she has already just accepted That's How It Works....this [her] was not going to experience being Transferred, like she's Been saying, like she again tells simon while he's blowing up abt [why wasn't i transferred]....just clearly being an example of like, not everyone is like horrified and freaked out and like "that's fake &/or wrong" and you don't have to decide she's incorrect for being Like That, i.e. like, yep, this is the situation, i know there's the me who was killed and the me on the ark and the me here, and i know also we're also for intents and purposes separate people

all that is to say, like, yeah the Scifi What If specific [you can copy/paste your consciousness into a different soma] is there, but also you can be looking at it as just this like, pushing to thee limit of the Self(tm) and the Other(tm) insofar as imagining yourself, as the only Internality / Mind / Selfhood you have access to, as The One True Real Self and all Others as mere somas/bodies, whether you take that to as dehumanizing an extreme as you can or you just put some double standards on Others / treat them as lesser/less Real, or oh but just Sometimes, in Some Cases, which is fine and relevant to anything, rather than what's fine and relevant being to always be aware that everyone's Otherness is a matter of perspective, you're the Other to everyone else, everyone is just as The Self as everyone else, You Could Be That Other, that other Is [you] to themself, you are the "that could be you" to them....with soma, it can just be elevated to "that Other WAS you from 0.5 mmsec ago, and continues to be them, b/c they didn't experience any disruption in their existence, though now you're both in different situations of: different locations, different bodies, the awareness there's that Other Self over there now, possibly the difference of killing that self you were just copied from so you can go on feeling like the One Real Self"....but wherein like, that's just like, [What If: you Were able to wholly & accurately Know the self inside an Other? b/c it's you from 5 min ago] of like, scenarios like [what if you time traveled 5 min into the past] except wherein that case there's usually the efforts to Resolve(tm) the timeline of that One True Self one way or another, ultimately. or is there. obviously who's positing that soma is the only material to be About the "whoa lol. me as an other" concept made scifily literal or anything

anyways that like, it creates that situation wherein one Can point & go "literally literally me" but also simultaneously one Can go "that's Not literally me arrrgh" or "that's also Not literally me, matter of factly"....simon's wrangling with the Othering of his One True Self, but he can also Know, should he choose to shift to that perspective, that all the Others who aren't alternate copies of him are all Another True Selves, An Other True Self even, though ofc as per the nature of not having a collective consciousness, he Doesn't Know the accurate whole of their psyches b/c he was not ever [literally them], but he doesn't need to to know they're just as [a whole psyche in there] as his own have been. original catherine with her fellow original crewmates being othered enough by them for the dehumanization of treating her worse, her being isolated, that indeed her being killed doesn't feel separate from all that by her or by anyone else, just an escalated extreme final fatal manifestation of it, b/c nobody ever liked her in the first place and then she became a (psyche Piloting a) body getting in the way of what one guy with amplified strength at that moment wanted from the project she made to let others' psyches keep existing in some way, which was deemed valuable enough by that guy to want to commandeer it and keep it at the bottom of the ocean versus risk a launch, regardless of how you the player think of the idea

and thinking of the way you can like, effectively befriend that boxy underwater little propellered Regular Simple Robot Helper that follows you around at some point, that is, of course it can't talk to you, it's definitely Just(tm) this not-ever-a-version of a human robot for practical tasks (dyspeptical tasks, clerical tasks, hysterical tasks) and like, imagine Its interiority, get invested, try to protect it, humanize it regardless....whereas with actual humans, and their psyches in a microchip, you can kill them for not perfectly delivering whatever you wanted even when that's not what other humans ever exist to do. then simon loses the Company he still could've Gotten From catherine, [guy who killed original catherine] didn't succeed in keeping the ark unlaunched, b/c that's what you go and do....but really just thinking of that Thread that feels so extremely relevant of like, catherine copy being simon's only option sure and working With him on this mission until we stay with the edition of him who realizes it didn't lead to his escape onto the ark, i.e. always being in relation to him in a manner of a direct practical teamup & a [take it or leave it] sole option for that anyways....but that in her original, human-bodied life, she was always "oh only a little bit" dehumanized by everyone such that she is very much aware of the way that's defined & limited her life, never had friends, i know i'm difficult to like; until that dehumanization escalated to the extreme of trying to hit her to stop her from seeing her project through, and just happening to kill her, and the fact that this seems to no one just a coincidental whoopsie of a fate just entirely disconnected from the way others always saw her and treated her as this Other among others, while other [psyche/soma]s of others who are clearly not Your Self get to have friends and not be isolated and feel hard to like forever and end up killed by coworkers

tl;dr like love a text just inviting plenty of interpretations and lenses and perspectives, ofc gonna look at it like whoa it's anarchy in there (political cats sense) where are the borders where you are thee self above thee other....soma providing that thinnest boundary of like, yeah that mf over there? there but for the [being in a different body, in a different place, with 7 seconds of negligibly different life experience] go ye. but also the usual boundary of "that person is in a different body in a different place with a different whole life but you're [that] to them and they're just as much a person and a self and an other as you are" like catherine center of the game to me

(* just remembered i had these asterisks: sure enjoying how the premise of amnesia games effectively creates Alternate Selves b/w the protagonist's present self, with however much missing time, and past selves whose goings on are completely relevant to the in media res situation you're also tackling while obtaining pieces of that past to priovide further context/info, and how this premise manifests for different stories each time; you've even got oswald like physically divided into Two Selves in a:amfp, though iirc it's not like, psychically equivalent, kinda "regular oswald & nefarious destroy the world duplicitous oswald" lmao, classic....uhh and shoutout to penumbra being similar ish in that the protagonist's story isn't want's relevant, he's trying to find out what happened to his dad and more broadly the like underground pocket world he enters for those answers? iirc....but that soma shares that amnemonic premise of [intro] [suddenly like ???] [having to navigate your present mission & figure out the past & your Missing time] but like, thee respective Lores don't overlap really, soma obviously starts present day and takes an even more obvious leap into a future / completely different location, rather than amnesia games being set in the past with missing time of like, idk months? to even just days, uhh supposedly like [forever] in justine but that's like, i dunno sure lol, the peak mysterious / withheld protagonist really, on purpose. while naturally there's also the fact that, technically, this simon we are following at the start of the game did not actually forget anything, and that's a fun distinction despite that it otherwise initially seems like the same [amnesia] premise....and that he did kind of ""forget"" things in that original simon lived however much longer before dying, that his scan then ofc didn't retroactively include. so once again it's like, well, in amnesia ppl have likewise kind of rewound to a Past Self before the missing [crucial context to your in media res misadventure] time, w/daniel (and justine) even doing this On Purpose, though as is the nature of the amnesia series, everyone regains enough of that missing info about their goings on anyways, though you the player are Not in a story of like "wow they did Exactly the same thing again and ended up in the same place anyways" and Do get to kinda choose who they are / indeed end up with some Alternate Self, potentially, despite there being plenty of room wherein like, it's not precisely, granularly laid out Exactly Who They Are at any point anyways. only just now getting extra amnemonic lore that yes daniel got all fucked up on vitae rituals b/c that's just what happens! and people are fairly horny for it! always a possible interpretation that he was high on vitae (okay one proffered pronunciation of "curriculum vitae" (which i was like lord i feel like i've gone "what tf is that" about before but what tf is that. turns out it's what CV stands for as your specifically educational resumé) does say "vitae" would, in that case, rhyme with "nigh." other sources are listing like a million different combinations of a million different ways to pronounce each syllable. also they gotta say it a way in the game but i forget. daniel's VA apparently being some chemistry teacher? just like alchemy. not what the pope said to do, weird science, it's my creation....) anyways! the psyches diverge, the bodies don't, unless they do (oswald....uhh the guy in the bunker. lambert :( ) like catching up with The Self again, encountering extreme examples of Othering and Dehumanizing and [you are just like only a soma to me] with various means and ends of acting thusly to get xyz results

#uhh nominal tagging. i probably have nonzero soma posts...? maybe? lol #soma #amnesia #atdd #soma spoilers yeah but a) game's more than half a decade old at this point b) material that hinges on Surprising you the first time as like #thee sole worthwhile feature of its experience: probably not that good; i don't think soma's even dying to keep you from guessing any #''twists'' and if you Do it doesn't feel like you're like cheated of anything lol. though i'm sure the surprises are fun. the ending is sur #like yeah oh a fucked up surprise for the player too; but that's b/c the game of course Until Now followed the ''advancing'' simon copy #c) same as (b) but like spoilers don't really ruin things anyways imo. who is reading this in whole like ''damn i was Just gonna play this' #whereas idk now you know of it. also lbr who is reading this in whole period? probably some people lol. you do not have to ofc as a fact an #as a stance. i'm like; would i read someone's longass post abt something i don't already know abt / am not interested in? not often #d) if you Are like ''nooooo SOMA spoilers arrrgh i was Just abt to play it'' like damn my bad. i'm sorry. play it anyways it'll be fun #or e) watch a playthrough. i myself cannot Firsthand Game too much & this has generally been the case #long post //// #all this uncrucial and noncomprehensive but just taking 90k words & meandering tangents to say [hand over heart] catherine.... #as is my mode of verbalizing anything really #i'll recommend the game easily enough; sure watched a full playthrough twice & may revisit for a thrice. or at least various clips lol #even got a safe mode (where you Can't Die so you can get through every part b/c thee story is the point anyways)

[girlscience]

I just finished my first non-fiction book in probably years. It was 277 pages long. I can read a fiction book that short in about 2 and a half hours. This took me 3 months to complete. I do wish I was faster with non-fiction, I've got a huge list of science and political and historical books I want to read, but I have to remember these books require more brain power so it's not bad they take longer. The learning is important not the time.

#it was white fragility. which from my understanding is a pretty basic sort of baby's first foray into anti-racism #but it seemed like a good place to start? if I can't handle myself I'm not going to get anything out of the other books I want to read #I found a short paper on anti-colonialism/land back that I think I'm going to read next #I'm also in the middle of cobalt red but I had to return it to the library before I could finish so I placed another hold on it #idk I'm trying to educate myself #I have black and hispanic and indigenous friends and I am very aware that I'm white but haven't ever really done anything to learn #how that affects my relationships with them or to be aware of things I could do unknowingly/unintentionally or what biases I have #and I don't want to be another person that hurts them so I need to do things to be better #and I mean just generally in the world I'm around people of color all the time and I want to be aware and such there too you know #and then also everything about the history of the US and colonialism and such here and around the world #I benefit from that so I need to be learning about it and doing things to help fight back against it #idk. this is all stuff that's been on my mind for a few years #but I was struggling to actually act on it. hopefully I can keep doing better today and tomorrow #and reading and learning seems like a good place to start #I just have to keep reminding myself that these aren't fantasy stories and they require more thought and brain power than most books I read #so it's good thing it takes me longer. that means I'm considering and digesting what I'm reading #it is not a bad thing to read slowly

[meme-loving-stuck]

god i know im the problem because its a repeating pattern with basically everyone etc etc. but it would be a LOT easier to make friends or even just talk to people if i didn't wanna stop every convo right in the middle with "WOW YOU SURE ARE FUCKIN BORING AND HARD TO TALK TO HUH" so i just. leave people on read constantly bc its better than outright saying that

#BLOGGING LOUDLY #and i knowwwwww it seems like everyone is boring and standoffish bc IM the one who is overbearing and hard to talk to but like #fuck man lol maybe i should just keep taking the codene and go back to sleep so i can't fuck up any more good natured acquaintanceships #its different when youre already friends w someone cause like. i can talk abt this one specific thing w them for ever #and be generally weird about it and they will either reciprocate or at least be okay w it #but with like. New People. i have trained myself to be able to tell how other people respond if they are uninterested or feeling awkward #and usually shorter messages or saying noncommittal things like 'idk' or 'im not sure' can be either awkwardness or disinterest #so when i get those signals talking about stuff im actually curious about or find interesting about THEM #it's like. well fuck theyre not into this subject! have to find a different one #and its just so. like. it sucks #it fucking sucks trying to talk to people casually and they just brush you off #i don't know why I'm even trying i should just go back to pretending i like being alone #i kind of do!! like this SUCKS almost as much as just not having anyone out here to be friends with lmao

[noxtivagus]

hdflkjasdklf i'm just thinking of certain characters n stories hehe

#🌙.rambles #no bcs why out of all gbf characters it is Belial that is on my mind lately.. 💀 he's so sus but there's smth sad abt him to me that i think #uh. makes me. feel drawn. SOMEHOW. charas in general that like i don't like them just bcs they're sad. i just Like them n later realize how #similar i am in a way n huh. maybe part of me. perhaps not really relate but i think i understand ^ him with lucilius. but. nyways #sometimes i find myself having ideas from time to time for. scenarios n stories n maybe not super concrete? even just the idea or the #emotion & sentiment of it. even if it's a mess bcs i just dump phrases n words from time to time. #i really like reading my own words. they remind me a lot of myself n resonate a lot with me.. i wrote them all after all before. #😭 ok i just got a notif bcs i have smth due in 24 hours from now.. (-> i ended up venting again but i have no more space to tag it) #there's a lot i'm stressed abt. anxious even. it's not rlly a big deal in the end n eventually the burden of my regrets will hurt less but #noooo i keep on rambling abt that i guess there's rlly just so much weighing me down in my mind But i will persevere!!!! #imagining stuff or wtvr n indulging in. idk any form of self-expression n being creative brings me so much comfort #when the break comes i'll read books i'll write stuff too i'll watch stuff i'll play video games i'll play/listen to music i'll. yeah. Live #like i want. but like success has always still meant a lot to me i'm too strict on myself w that so w school i constantly just feel trapped #even if assignments r easy n i understand all my lessons in general. i'll pass CETs certainly i'll succeed in the future i know that's who #i'll be but every single mistake just tears me apart and makes me forget who i am as a whole. i've always been 'better' in a way than your #average person i've always mostly generally done well & good but never ever quite the 'best'. so while i do love my intelligence n all as #a whole. ffs i know better but i end up being too harsh when it comes to my shortcomings. so. stuff like stories n games n yeah #those allow me to be free in a way. from my own restraints. from my own cage. so to not. be able to do that too rlly makes me forget myself #while w work n personal stuff like that i'm mostly sure of myself but when it comes to. me w ppl in this world. it's so. unpredictable? #that's just how ppl r. it's. intriguing to me definitely but. confusing. i long to belong but it's hard when most of my life i've felt.. #i'm not rlly sure how to phrase it. it's in my head but yeah. so.. i'm rlly just a mess w that. i think i tend to isolate n distance myself #so easily bcs i fall far too much w the thought that. nothing much wld change? recently i'm so confused too bcs i'm aware of reality but #then i'm also just so confused n then a mess in general but i'm returning to like my old self when it comes to stories. embracing that agai #understanding myself a bit more while being distant w others but also lost for the very same reason. ITS SO CONFUSING n complex ofc. #which is. v human ig. but i'm not taking care of myself well so ffs it feels like i'm falling behind but i'm technically productive w work? #stuck between remembering. v well. i'm not too brain empty in the present too. n. i've been v keenly aware of the future #it's all going far too fast n i'm not keeping up Well Enough. the helplessness i think i wrote a while back #bcs i want to stop or i want to do smth or just change n get things done but it's not That easy. n it's been like this for so long now #i'll be fine my mind's just a mess rn n i'm just so frustrated w myself but i'm well enough. a bit empty but i'm fine. #there's a lot more to write n i could have done this in my notes but i'll stop anyways i'll work now. i'll try not to stay up Too late 🥹🫶🏼

[astrxealis]

i really want to make gifs of fuuta's 2nd trial mv while it's still really new. idk if i should post them if ever though... <- has never posted any of my edits of any sort and gifs. even icons

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚ #nah i only have like. access to canva for paid. and it's education and not even pro LMAO ty to school for providing canva education <3 #yeah but i only really use canva and photopea and take a fucking long time doing anything related to editing #it's fun and a great way to pass time esp bcs i take a long time but for time efficiency... not really <//3 #i'll do my homework first and then ya ^___^ #i want photoshop but if you get me i don't want to YEAH. not only do i hate yeah i also don't like paying often #like ofc i do for what i need but i. barely spend my money (it helps knowing that idk how much money i even have) #idk maybe it sounds good like 'yo you don't waste money' but also it sucks idk how to handle money at all and stuff #i rmbr being so excited planning for getting ffxiv. laying out the costs and all. LMFAO ya i only really pay for xiv sub and that's it #cash shop i only have a few stuff bcs i've been there for old events and my friend (very generous. big brother guy) gifted us stuff #fuuta's voice is so good. man i keep getting distracted this went from editing to money and then ffxiv and then fuuta #UHM ANYWAYS...... anyways............. yeah i just do really simple edits. just literally changing the color and all #but you see i often like things most when it comes from me. or my friends. or if it is personalized #so i don't like taking random things! idk the process feels best when it comes from me but i also love stuff that have heart in it #and if it's yk. oh. this is for me. ig i'm just used to mostly having to do things for myself bcs i don't get it often from others </3 #braindead. it is 1 pm. i will finish my homework (soon!) #i love all milgram characters. i was a bit yk to muu and kotoko but i think i understand kotoko better after studying fuuta more #and i get now ^^ it's a bit hypocritical to vote her innocent and fuuta guilty but at the same time it depends on what you value #and also did people really not expect her to. do that. hello. i saw that coming from a mile away but yeah you can't predict the future #so makes sense too! tbh im a fuuta innocent guy but i do believe guilty first trial is best but also wow the effects of guilty 1st trial #were yeah. but taste of his own medicine (real!) i just hope the others get that too. in time. #specifically muu and kotoko bcs though i love them they still iff me a bit (is that even a word) #tbh my feelings on milgram characters are complicated but i think i'm complicating it too ngl. #obsessed with mikoto though. his voice!!! his va slaying as always #tbh w kotoko it's mostly that i think she's getting ahead of herself. in a way. i think that's how to say it but i'm not sure #with muu. i think i get her but it's more of fuuta for me and i think that's why yeah? but i like muu she was one of the first that #caught my eye from b4 i watched the mvs and all!! i think it might be that she reminds me a tiny bit of myself #but in a way i'd rather not admit or something i don't like about myself that makes me like her less. curious #hi um i wrote a lot more tags but they stopped after 30 oops. i took screenshots tho <3 anyways this is a 20 minutes post BYE

[bettysupremacy]

hii! I was wondering if you could write a fic with reader and any marauder (they all fit) and maybe helping or becoming protective over the reader after a concert or party after a creep follows the reader? 😭

I went through a similar experience with a guy following me around after I went to the restroom after a concert, and it ruined my night if i'm being honest, I was scared 😞 I'm not the most shy of people and usually I can handle myself but it was pretty dark and idk the adrenaline from feeling happy to scared shifted pretty quickly. Luckily I found my friends and let them know and we quickly went back to our car (along with a few dirty looks from my friends god bless lol). I swore I could go to the restroom by myself- will not be doing that again :(

you can ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable!

thank uu

i’m so sorry that happened to you! “(they all fit)”= poly marauders!

There’s something about post concert depression, especially when you’re with the band.

Your glitter eyeshadow is smudged, eyeliner untouched. You’d been shaken around in the pit of your boyfriends fans, and yet the paint hasn’t budged. God bless water-proof makeup. The world seems prettier like this, touched by alcohol and the feeling of soaring pride for your boyfriends. The glittery lights and signs of time square never fail to dazzle you, even now as you lean against Sirius morosely.

“M’hungry.” You frown, toes tipping up towards Sirius, though you fear the mumble may have been more for yourself.

His attention is diverted towards the boys as they discuss what to do now. Plans of how to get home and where to eat. His finger taps your cheek slowly, his focus paying you no mind. Words like Uber, hotel, room service echo throughout their very repetitive conversation.

“Sirius.”

He looks down, a little shocked and sorry at his own attention. “Yes, lovely?”

“M’hungry.”

“Hungry?” He asks, cringing. You’re about thirty minutes from the hotel, and even then, room service will take another thirty.

“So hungry.”

He sighs, unsure of what to do.

“There’s a hotdog stand over there.” You grab his tattooed bicep to balance yourself as you point to your right.

He thinks, peering down at you. “This won’t ruin your dinner?” It’s midnight, but still.

“No,” you sing, reaching up to cup his cheeks. “I really want a hotdog.

He flushes, looking away from your wandering eyes. Normally he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. They would never let you out of their sight in a place like this. But the cart is in eye view of the boys, and he has faith in you not to stray, even in your inebriated manor. It’s not that they don’t trust you, they just prefer to keep you safe themselves. Is that okay?

“Okay,” He murmurs, pulling out his wallet, handing you his card. “At least get the good toppings.”

“I always get the good toppings.” You pull away.

The walk is short and the cart is colorful. Red and white stripes, curvy calligraphy. It shines in your inebriated vision. Beautiful. The queues not long, just an older man waiting in front of you, but it feels like forever as the generous man (with the toppings as well) takes your order and wraps it in warm aluminum foil.

You take the hotdog eagerly. “Thank you.”

It’s heavy in your hands, warm too. You yell Sirius’ name excitedly, waving the hotdog above your head for him to see. He laughs, thumbs up until you bump into a man, smile fading, concern etching his brows.

“Oh,” you murmur, looking up. “I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” he smiles. It’s uncomfortable, not the smile of a friendly civilian.

You laugh. It’s polite, anyone can see that, but he leans closer. He smells like liquor, a disgusting discovery that has you subconsciously leaning away.

“You new around here?”

An actual laugh stumbles out of your lips. “London? No.”

He takes this as an entrance. “You should show me around.”

“No, thank you.” You try to walk past him. Towards Sirius who’s already walking over. “Goodnight.”

“Wait,” he grabs your arm, pulling you back. His fingers dig into your elbow painfully.

“What the fuck,” you gasp, pulling your arm away roughly. “don’t touch me.”

“C’mon,” The man slurs, fingers reaching for you again. “Don’t be-“

“Hello?” Sirius walks up, all stock. He grabs your forearm pulling you to him firmly, getting in between you and the man. He’s not much taller, but more intimidating in demeanor. “Do we have a problem?”

“No,” the man scoffs.

“Cause it looks like you put your hands on her.”

He scoffs again, clearly inebriated. “We were just talking.”

“Well, conversations over now.”

“She can make her own decisions.”

“Fuck off, bro.” Sirius waves his hand dismissively. Quickly, he walks you towards the boys who are peeking their eyes up from the Uber app.

“She was asking for it.”

Sirius reels back, dropping your forearm to shove the scary stranger in the chest. He pushes hard, the man losing his balance as he falls to the ground in a sickening thud. You gasp loudly, the unexpected conflict startling you. Vaguely you hear Sirius say something to him, but you’re too focused on the way the man looks up at you.

James and Remus are there in seconds, quick on Sirius’s heels. They pull at him, up and off the man. There were no real punches thrown, no real injuring blows, it wasn’t even enough to form a crowd. But still, you’re shaken. You shiver like a leaf under your James’ leather jacket, suddenly not feeling the warmth of the alcohol you’d consumed before the concert.

Slowly, you stumble back and way from your boys, to the bench next to the shitty bar you’d passed on your way home. That had been scary, but you’re safe; that had been scary, but Sirius dealt with it. You bring your hand up to your chest, setting the hotdog you had been eager to buy down next to you.

“Hi,” Remus pushes aside the hotdog to sit next to you. “Are you okay?”

You look up to the boy, blindingly beautiful in the streetlights and advertisements. “Yes.”

He pushes some stray hair from your face. “He didn’t hurt you?”

“I think it was more startling.” James sits on the other side of you, kissing your temple firmly. “I’m sorry he did that.”

“It’s okay, I’m okay.”

“She’s okay.” Sirius gruffs from where he walks over.

He sounds cooler than he thinks he looks. He’s not bruised, bloodied, or bandaged, if he were he thinks he’d look cool enough to breeze over. But then again you look mad, so maybe he doesn’t want that.

“Don’t be upset,” Sirius crouches to your level. You’re in the arms of a solid Remus. “he was a creep.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Are you trying to tell me something?” He laughs roguishly. “I thought I looked good tousled.”

He does, and you know he’ll look good on the tabloids tomorrow too. Sirius black gives black eye? You sigh at the thought.

“You do.” James feeds Sirius.

“At least someone in this relationship cares for my ego.”

“You look good.”

“Oh, now you tell me.”

You laugh, letting Sirius stare at you like you hung the moon.

“Kiss em?” He pushes his knuckles in front of your lips. His fingers throb lightly, you can feel it on your lips.

“That was stupid.”

“C’mon,” Sirius’ eyes roll as he pulls you up. “You’ve got a hotdog to eat.”

#sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black blurb #sirius black hurt/comfort #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black fluff #sirius black x reader #sirius black fic #sirius fanfiction #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fanfiction #sirius x you #sirius x reader #remus x sirius #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders imagine #james potter x you #james potter fluff #james potter x reader #james potter blurb #james potter imagine #james x reader #james potter fic #james x you #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader

[zorosleftmantit101]

One Piece characters as tweets I found stupidly funny Part 1

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Robin, Law, Kid, Bartolomeo, Ace, Sabo, Shanks

A/N: shit posting is my superhero

C/W: swearing, idk like general shit post stuff,

Luffy: you'd be amazed at how many times i've fucked around without finding a single thing out

Zoro: sunscreen smells so good i be lathering that shit all up on my nuts

Sanji: when the parmesan wont come out of the container so u have to spank its little ass

Usopp: This is the worst video I've ever watched. I'm going to kill myself now thank you

Nami: My husband finally confessed to me that he's depressed and thinking about ending it all because he thinks I'd be better off without him.

I always thought he was strong and reliable, and seeing this weak side of him is making me think he's probably right.

Robin: why do they call it horseplay ive never seen horses play. they're always just standing there like they saw someone get shot

Law: noise cancelling headphones aren't enough i need everyone to die

Kid: something about saying

"your honor"

dont sit right w me... send me to jail. i aint dickriding you

Bartolomeo: thank god my anal itching was hemorrhoids

Sabo: walking downhill is so embarrassing like ooo look at me doing a little trot like a stupid fucking horse i'd rather be dead

Shanks: not liking my posts is like seeing me lying in the street covered in blood and you just keep walking

Ace: MY DAD GOT ME THIS YEARS AGO, I think it was a ploy so l'd choose him in the divorce

@zorosleftmantit101 2023

#zorosleftmantit #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece funny #headcanon #one piece x you #crack post #luffy x reader #zoro x reader #sanji x reader #law x reader #nami x reader #robin x reader #shitpost #monkey d luffy #one peice #one piece live action #one piece crack

[shiningstages]

I’m debating whether I wanna draw something or write something for Lillian’s birthday (June 7th). At the very least I’m gonna reply to Charlie to get the og girl content out there, but I feel like muse-appreciation-wise I’ve done so little for her or Aisling in a while...Got this sudden urge to hug the girlies~

#;big bubble blowing baby! ( ooc ) #( not that i have the concentration when my brother is off from work and constantly showing me stuff #i also need to do a quiz and start researching for an intern blog BUT EEEEEEEEH gfhcghhgjcf #my mood also totally crashed yesterday so i'm like trying to stay in a feeling better state #idk what to do lately honestly; like in general #i feel very drifty though not in a cool car drift type way you know?? like i'm very tired with too much free time rn #so my mind is just...........super lazy........and keeps getting Thoughts #especially rn with my dad having the vid; i know he'll tank through it but he's still not the healthiest so...i worry too much #he's still the same dad i love bunches just with a bunch of coughs; and i'm taking care of myself around him #i'm just not feeling emotionally good overall for some reason; but this hasn't helped fdgfdfdjf #which is why i wanna celebrate my babies bunches (yes circled it back good job me high five) #just as an activity and a look back to take my mind off stuff while also getting more serotonin #maybe i'll draw wedding diantha too; for kicks and giggles #but that has to be later because WOOOOOOOOOOORK BOO #the only good things about that is paycheck and distraction #5 1/2 hour shifts though..........and then they have me closer hours next sat/sun??? disgusting )

[avisisisis]

Okay but, might be an unpopular opinion but I don't really want Apollo becoming a Good Person™. Like. Let him keep killing people. Please

He's a very contradictory god, not only in PJO (I made a post about about how much he contradicts himself), but also in mythology in general. He's the god of medicine but also the god of plagues, for example

In PJO, what I want him to be like is a better person. Not good, bc he's still a god and he's still quite literally made out of human minds and human minds are not completely good, but still better

I want him to visit his children, to acknowledge that some of the stuff he did was fucked up, etc etc etc. But I want him to be all that while still, idk, killing entire cities with plagues. Because he's the god of plagues. Come on

Like— he's the plague that killed your family but he is also the doctor that saved your dog. You get what I'm trying to say?? Gods are essentially what they're the gods of (Ares is war, Dionysus is insanity, for example) and that means that they are not fully good, but still sometimes necessary

Here's the thing about sickness: it's unfair, and it takes people away from you, not caring if they deserve it or not. And here's the thing about healing: it's needed, and there are so many versions of it it's almost impossible to know the exact number. Healing is something good. But you need something bad for it to work. You can't be healed from sickness if the sickness doesn't exist

And there are so many contradictions that come only w bring the god of the sun

The sun burns. It's deadly. Nothing can get close to it without burning to the ground, and being under its light for too long can literally give you cancer. But the sun is also warm. We need it to survive; we use its light to see, it inspires us to make art, its heat is the only reason we're still alive

Idk if I'm explaining myself very well, but I need Apollo (and the rest of the gods) to still be morally gray instead of suddenly becoming Good People. They need to become better. Not good. Just better

#if they all became good out of nowhere then they wouldn't be the gods of. well. the stuff they're the gods of yk? #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #toa #trials of apollo #apollo #lester papadopoulos #olympian gods #rick riordan #rrverse #this is only my opinion. or my wishes idk #the character development is still there. he's still a better person #but he's also still the fucking god of plagues #ares is still the god of war. aphrodite is still the goddess of love (love is its own warning) #riordanverse #avis' post