#and so sorry for all the posting again :c

[thurio-edau]

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

sorry for the delay!

alright, gotta say... this one's a bit shorter. but the next will come like a train wreck i promise😇

Part 3: Ben Clark

oh the sweet old Ben... a kind and loving soul muted away. I'm thinking of inspecting his trauma and his general actions, and give him a diagnosis which I'm sure is canon even. I'm sure everyone who knows the disorder itself is aware that Ben is, in fact, suffering from PTSD.

let's start. first, what is PTSD?

PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a mental condition where someone feels what they have previously went through in a past traumatic experience. PTSD is frequently found with flashbacks to the moment, overwhelming feelings and sudden responses. there are two types of this disorder, PTSD and C-PTSD. but we'll look in the first one for now.

Ben has always been a really kind character. ever since the beginning. more of a 'gentle giant' type of character, though we never see him talk. he's soft, he loves to help his friends and never does anything vulgar around them, including the phantom dimension. he feels nice when he gets praised even if he doesn't show it too.

the first time we see him getting flashbacks and his anger issues being visible is when we first see Barron's behaviour towards Logan. anything that includes actual bullying gives him flashbacks and his response is his anger issues unleashing.

in his backstory, Ben is shown that he's more of a shy type of person, but he loves singing. because his tall and intimidating appereance doesn't match his softness, a group of dumbasses try to 'fix' him which he rejects. back when Shane strangled him, is what he gets flashbacks to. it was something that changed his entire life, he had a passion for singing but he never did with his damaged voice. god knows how many times he was hospitalized when he was going around to fights because of his outburst of rage.

yep, rage. I'd classify his anger issues as the 'rage' type with PTSD. PTSD rage makes more sense to me than just normal anger problems. I've seen and lived with many people with anger issues, but none of them are similar to rage. anger problems in general are usually verbal, if you don't make them mad to a point they're all bark and no bite. but of course after a point the violence behind the generic anger issues can unleash (see Tyler)

okay, back to Ben and rage. rage is an extreme condition of anger, the person gets violent and their thoughts are clouded with the rage which makes them not think before doing anything drastic. but he's not very closed off about it either, actually. the time where he accepted Aiden to do the storytelling was before the first half of season one, the gang wasn't even that close.

this means that he saw them as actual friends so early on. probably before everyone. Ashlyn took her sweet time accepting the friendship, I'm kind of sure that Aiden didn't at first (see Tyler, yet again), Tyler also definitely didn't (as said by Taylor in season two premiere) and I think Logan has attachment/trust issues but that's for later. the only other possible person that might accept the group fastly is Taylor but with Tyler's influence so close to her, there is also a chance she didn't at first.

Ben was fine with his friends knowing his past. he put his earphones on because he didn't want to hear about it, or else he knew he'd get flashbacks yet again. I'm thinking that it could be diagnosed too. Aiden knows that it's not just a memory, it's flashbacks to Ben and he covers for him whenever he sees something that might trigger Ben. after learning the situation, Taylor also does the same. they learn the severity of his problems and are all fine with helping him.

another thing I'm sure of is that he's extremely attached to his friends. we know that everyone is close-knit, but Ben specifically. he might not speak but that doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy their time. he does, fully. which is I think why he/his room was... like that in the facility, without any spoilers.

to say, the gang is more than just friends to him; they're his found family, where he feels like he belongs. they don't judge him for his silence there. they understand his past. they're not scared of him just because of the way he was built and they're not going to be either.

but what about his family?

families are one of the most important part of a character and their backstory. the family is what decides how they will live, act and even feel sometimes. then what about Ben's? where were they during his backstory?

yeah. Ben's rage causes something terrible to happen.

but it ends better for everyone. Ben gets the therapy he needed, starts to live with Aiden, makes the gang his friends and it actually goes well.

his parents?

we meet Naomi and William during Lily's birthday.

yes, Mike, Lily is goshdarn adorable.

first, I think Naomi and William aren't to blame. I think they did the best they could; they tried to help Ben, tried to help him get therapy, sent him to Aiden's place to help himself. then why didn't Ben's story stop?

Ben couldn't control his rage until their house got destroyed and he realized just how far it got. he sneaked out of the house, a lot of people seem to not see that detail. and they seem to be very caring, too.

they're amazing as a whole family, to be honest. even the little Lily doesn't care about her birthday getting wrecked, because she wants to help Ben and his friends. she indirectly helped Tyler extremely well, since the sedative idea came from her in the first place.

Naomi was the first person who brought up the whole 'we-are-seeing-phantoms' discussion and William didn't hesitate to talk about it. Naomi was also the first person to notice the phantoms when the worlds collided for a mere second.

and Ben himself has shown completely zero negative behaviour towards them. and Lily gets treated like a princess -even if she accidentally neutered Ben-

side note here, that Lily also really loves the family too. the way she cuddled Aiden when he died and came back was so cute to be honest.

so I don't think the family is anywhere to blame either. it was Ben who was strangled, Ben who fought, and Ben who saw therapy. the reason why I'm talking about this is because a lot of people suddenly blame a character's family when there's a problem with them.

guys. people with caring, loving families can be traumatized too. just because someone has a happy family doesn't mean they're suddenly over any trauma they live. doesn't mean everything is suddenly okay. it means that they have an accepting place to go to, a safe space. and Ben's family? I think they're just like that. they desperately try to help. help their son, their nephew and their friends. hell, Lily trying to help also speaks volumes in my opinion. their father -dilf no.2 after Mike right here- William was the one who offered the idea to get the kids saved from the centipede phantom. and to be honest? it was pretty smart.

she also tried to prevent Emma from going mad because come on, Emma would absolutely wreck anyone if they dared blame Ashlyn for this. (still I think Jessica has to apologize for being to insensitive smh)

Naomi really seems like a sweetheart to me, I already said what to be said about William in a single very important side sentence and if there was any kind of in-family neglect Lily would also be affected. but she isn't so I think we're good? I adore the whole Ben family tho.

to wrap it all up.

Ben is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which makes him see flashbacks and turn into a rage mode each time he is triggered due to his backstory, being bullied because he's too soft. his rage causes a gang to destroy his home (HELLO?? ARE THERE NO FUNCTIONING COPS IN THIS STOR-- oh wait it's america yea there ain't nvm) and his parents try their best. move, get Ben to therapy and let Daniel's side help him by doing stuff he loves. Ben is still trying to recover, but his flashbacks are strong due to impacting his entire life from his voice and make it difficult.

(vocal chords repair by time actually, but he hasn't been speaking for like 4 years so maybe it'd need some voice exercises until it returns to normal?? if it's just vocal chords he'd be alright. imagine if he could talk and sing normally all this time but he just didn't know. it's something between "aww poor guy :((" and "lmao"

but I don't know about voice box, can someone enlighten me on vocal chord damage vs. voice box damage? thamks)

and Lily. Lily is a cinnamon roll. no other opinions allowed.

-i wanted to make a part for Ben and Taylor but i decided wasn't fit here :P-

#sbgblr #sbg (webtoon) #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #schoolbus graveyard #sbg #sbg ben #ben clark

[p1stach1oss]

Valentine (c.g)

“i blinked and suddenly i had a valentine”

a/n: inspired by valentine by laufey! this is really bad but i have nothing else to post so this will have to do. me and  @gr7mes did laufey inspired fics so go look at hers 😋.

pairings: carl grimes x fem!reader

c/w: fluff (again ik i have no variety) kissing, lower case intended, use of y/n, not proof read yet.

———————————————————————

you and carl were currently sitting down backs leant against a tree near his house. his arm wrapped around your shoulder while you both just sat. enjoying each others company sitting peacefully next to each other. making jokes from time to time as the bright sun shinned down on the two of you having your hand cover your face shielding you from the light.

ever since you confessed your feelings for carl, and you found out he liked you back. you no longer knew how to act around him. just the thought of someone liking you left a funny feeling in your stomach. 

you had both started dating about a week or two ago. though the feelings between the two of you were definitely mutual, you almost felt like you were just too awkward. you were always awkward around carl as everything he did made your heart flutter. you had never been in relationship before and you felt out of place. there was always a voice in the back of your head telling you, you weren’t doing enough. carl was so sweet to you always reassuring you of how much he loved you. 

any sort of affection he tried to show you, though you appreciated it. you turned it down not wanting to get yourself attached. you tried your best to not get get too close to anyone, i mean in a world like this you weren’t ready to grow attached to some one just yet.

i’ve rejected affection for years, and years.

he was always saying cute things like “i love you” or “your so beautiful” and you responded in the worst ways possible. or sometimes you didn’t respond at all, you felt like you weren’t ready for a relationship. but you wanted to be, you loved carl so much and you definitely wanted to be with him. you just were never taught about this relationship stuff, and didn’t know how to tell him that.

now i have it, and damn it, its kinda weird

you would think not having relationship experience either carl would be about just as awkward as you were. but for some reason he just had a natural charm that he always used on you, and oh it certainly worked.

as you guys still sat next to each other, hand in hand, your minds both else where. carl decides to break the silence between the two of you.

“you’re so pretty.” he says looking down at you with a soft smile on his face. you were beyond flattered by the compliment but you couldn’t seem to come up with a response to it. carl was always the type to give you random compliments out of the blue for no reason.

he tells me that im pretty, don’t know how to respond.

 “uh- you too.” you giggle awkwardly, immediately the embarrassment washed over you when you had realized what you said. you can’t believe you just said that, he just complimented you and you responded like that.

i tell him that he’s pretty too, can i say that? don’t have a clue.

all he does is laugh softly at your comment causing you to get even more embarrassed. your face growing a deep cherry red as you wish you could go back in time at that moment.

“im sorry carl.” you began to apologize, carl was so sweet to you and you couldn’t even form a sentence around him.

“for what?” he glances at you face full of confusion. he wondered why would you be apologizing, you didn’t do anything wrong?

every time you were around carl or he said something to you, you got so easily flustered. you didn’t want things to be awkward between the two of you and you felt like you always made it like that. 

“i don’t know, i just feel like your to good for me.” “your so nice to me and i cant even be a good girlfriend.” you say looking back at him frowning slightly.

“i mean your always giving me compliments and little gifts you find.” you say fiddle with your fingers in anxiety of what he might respond.

“that’s ridiculous, your the best and only girlfriend i could ever ask for.” he says in disbelief that you would ever think less of yourself.

carl saw you for what you were, you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever met. he couldn’t ask for anyone better because you were all he ever needed. it hurt him that you didn’t view yourself in the same way.

“you mean it?” you say smiling up at him

'Cause I think I've fallen In love this time

he smiles back, reassuringly reaching out to caress the side of your face. he would do anything to prove his love to you. he almost enjoyed how flustered you’d get by his simple words. he didn’t understand why you being awkward was a problem. he no longer wanted you to feel ashamed of how you reacted to certain things he did or said.

I blinked and suddenly, I had a Valentine

“of course i do.” “why wouldn’t i?” all you do is smile at his comforting words, him smiling right back. oh to be loved by carl grimes was truly an experience.

“you want me to prove it?” he says in a low tone of voice.

your eyes widened in both shock and anticipation. as usual you couldn’t seem to come up with a response to what he had said. 

after a few moments of silence he cups both sides of your face, pulling you in for a gentle kiss. his soft lips on yours almost drove you crazy. his lip’s against yours almost felt

What if he's the last one I kiss?

you kiss back hesitantly at first, but slowly ease into the kiss more growing comfortable with your lips against his. he finally pulls apart from you after what felt like ages, your cheeks still a bright shade of red.

What if he's the only one I'll ever miss?

“you believe me now?” he says laughing as you do the same. carl grimes was the only person who could ever make you feel this way, and im sure he knew of it.

The first one to ever like me back, I'm seconds away from a heart attack

“sure thing grimes.” you say your heart still beating at a rapid pace just thinking about the kiss. more silence lingers between the two of you before he speaks again.

“i love you so much, y/n.”

“i love you too carl.” smiling to yourself as you lean your head against his shoulder.

———————————————————————

And honestly, I can't believe I get to call you mine.

a/n: zoes is much better than mines so go look at hers!!

#p1stach1oss ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ #carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #twd #the walking dead

[unformula1]

one sided love (OP81 x LS2)

Love isn’t supposed to be this complicated. Logan realises Oscar’s not looking for him. w/c: 586 day 31 of loscar posts until we get a LOSCAR PODIUM (series masterlist) masterlist

Love isn’t supposed to be this complicated.

Logan sits on the couch of the club, staring into the life of the party. He watches as Oscar sits with his groups of friends, chatting and laughing while Logan observes from across the room.

Oscar is mesmerising, and his laugh is just absolutely perfect. Oscar is, honestly, adorable.

Logan snaps himself out of his thoughts, slapping himself on the hand. He cannot be thinking of these thoughts, they’d ruin him and Oscar’s friendship, and that was the last thing he wanted.

Oscar walks over to him and waves.

Logan waves back but he feels the butterflies in his stomach flutter around.

“Hey Logs!” Oscar says.

“Hi…uuh… Osc.” Logan says and internally screams at his awkwardness.

Thankfully, Oscar chuckles.

“Great party, no?” He asks.

“Yea! No. Amazing party.” Logan stutters again.

“Then why’re you sitting here all alone?” Oscar asks, almost tauntingly.

“Uhm.” The question catches Logan so off guard, “Well… I don’t exactly have any friends here right now…”

Logan tries to divert his awkwardness with a slight laugh.

Oscar is absolutely perfect. The way he smiles and laughs, the way his head tilts when Logan does something stupid, the way Oscar’s hair is just so… flowy.

Logan can’t stop staring, and he realises a little too late that he’s been staring into Oscar’s eyes for a while.

“Helloooo.” Oscar says as he snaps in front of Logan’s face.

“Sorry! What… was it?” Logan asks.

“You could join me.” Oscar repeats.

“Uhm… yea… no thanks.” Logan says and he instantly regrets it. He just burned his one chance of getting a chance to talk to Oscar.

“Oh… alright then…I’ll be on the dance floor if you need me.” Oscar says.

Oscar proceeds to the dance floor as Logan stupidly stands there, expecting Oscar to turn around and drag him onto the dance floor.

But no. Oscar pulls someone else in and starts dancing with them to some upbeat hype music that the DJ is putting.

He feels a bitter feeling sting his heart. Jealousy. 

Logan stares at Oscar as he looks into the person’s eyes, like the way Logan looks into Oscar’s. His hand placements are just… not platonic. 

Oscar’s talked about him before, in a way no one who was just a friend would ever. 

Oscar gets closer and closer, almost touching lips at this point and Logan can feel a clutch onto his heart as it beats ever so intensely.

He can’t believe it.

Oscar’s in love with someone else.

Logan feels it all break down. His one chance of something just disintegrates before his eyes. He really wishes he said yes to Oscar’s invitation.

Then as their lips get closer, Logan can’t watch anymore. He sprints out of the club, into the cold night, which offers a refreshing blast of cooling wind.

His mind replays the moment like a sick film on repeat.

He hears cheers from the club. 

They must’ve kissed.

He almost breaks down on the side of the road. He feels his legs about to buckle but he resists the feeling of falling to his knees and instead, takes everything left in him and runs off in some random direction.

The night eventually comes to a close as Logan sits on his hotel bed, staring into the ceiling, wishing he could turn back time and just change everything. Maybe if he was more confident this would’ve worked. Maybe if he spoke up sooner this would’ve worked.

He hates it.

He regrets everything.

#f1 #formula one #formula 1 #f1 fandom #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #not beta read #loscar post #loscar #op81 #ls2 #williams racing #logan sargeant #oscar piastri #williams f1 #loscar angst #angst #f1 angst #loscar fics #ls2 x op81 #mclaren #mclaren f1 #mclaren racing #op81 angst #ls2 angst #one sided love #one sided attraction

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

#may 31th anon #hello friends!! (｡’▽’｡)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much! #I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting #I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys #I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry #I think one just says 'I am ten' #what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c: #my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages #not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far ( #my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers #I do not know the meaning of that #but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!! #I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them #I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket #I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said #that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason #but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket #we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion #maybe I should ask her #is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again #I just want to see that silly little hat again #would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket #have a nice day everyone!! #see you soon hopefully!! #♡＾▽＾♡

[mitchmotch]

i was commissioned by @achinga to draw vash and milly! they're so silly :)

#trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #milly thompson #trigun milly #millyvash #vashmilly #ive only read a couple chapters of the manga but I've been enjoying it so far! #most of my trigun knowledge comes from ginko telling me about it HEJKSDHJKSDSDHK #i love sketching and doing light monochrome shading like this its very flowy #thank you again hades for commissioning me! #and if anyone is interested my commissions Are open its true ! #sorry for not posting in a while ive mostly been working on stuff for my comic :)c its on the horizon so exciting !! #i should stop making promises that im going to draw stuff on here.. i did that in my last post i think LOL #sorry!!!!! #okay bye if u read all this ur WONDERFUL!! #have a good day/i hope your day was good!! MWUAH

[books-and-dragons]

I'm so sorry, I'm kinda drunk and dropping another idea, do with it whatever ye will.

Yknow how in the beginning of the game, Sojiro tells Ren he won't take care of him when he gets sick?

Consider: he's not used to city germs/being that closely shoved against other people on the train. He DOES start to get sick around Kamoshida's Palace, powers through it, and then is SUPER sick just after it's over.

He plans on sucking it up and hiding it, but Futaba hears his hacking coughs over her bug even when he's upstairs, followed by wheezing, maybe even a little weeping. He's constantly in and out of the bathroom, and he's starting to run out of tissues.

Futaba nervously texts Sojiro that the kid they took in sounds awful. Sojiro is gruff at first and says he's not a baby, he can take care of himself. She responds by sending him the audio and suddenly Dad Instincts kick in

y/n

obviously it's a YES, our brainrots continue because early-game ren and sojiro dynamics break my heart every time how dare you get me so invested in this idea, this post got too long so it's going under a read more

listen listen look i love sojiro and the coffee family okay, but early-game?? sojiro could catch these hands

ren has already been though so much by the time he arrives in tokyo, to then be put into a dusty old attic like a spare part would absolutely fit in with ren's own perception of himself at that stage. it would be almost too easy for him to put his own health on the backburner kinda like he's already used to it

very used to not taking up space, 'not being a bother', and then sojiro really reinforces this message when ren first gets to leblanc- so when ren inevitably gets ill a month into his probation, it's already doomed for maladaption

tokyo would be such a breeding ground for sickness compared to the countryside, and ren just doesn't have the consitution to deal with it. the dusty attic and poor eating habits don't help matters, and then we have the stress of kamoshida and the metaverse?? ren is not having a Good Time™

at first it's something he thinks he can shrug off, and is adamant that ignoring it is the way to go. a cold, it's nothing, he can handle this alone, no need to bother anyone else with it.

inevitably, he gets worse, because that's what happens when you don't rest and let yourself recover. a tickly cough becomes a tightness in his chest, mild congestion shifts into an attack on his senses and blurriness- but maybe that's the dizziness. he's not really sleeping, either.

it's something that's becoming increasingly difficult to brush off and hide, he even relented to finally getting some medicine (nothing as strong as he needs by this point, that would eat too much into his limited funds, but some painkillers to take the edge off). once or twice he's tempted to stay off school, at morgana's insistence, or a too close call where he definitely blacked out for a minute, but then sojiro's voice will ring in his head 'i won't be the one looking after you if you get sick', 'your parents got rid of you for being a pain in the ass', and all his worst insecurities come rushing back and he's resolved to deal with it on his own

meanwhile, futaba's been making use of her hidden audio bugs- normally they're a comfort for her in the daytime, but since the new kid- ren- has been staying at the cafe (part-timer her ass, how gullible does sojiro think she is?!), she's been listening more frequently. when ren gets sick, she figures it out quickly.

time goes on, he's not getting better- he's actually getting worse- and futaba starts to wonder if she's the only one who knows

(there's something in his sharp contrasts- the quiet kid who shuffles through the cafe and takes sojiro's scolding, to the coughing kid who cries into the silence of night when he thinks there's nobody there to see it- that stabs through her numbness. it feels like a companion to her own ghost)

one night she swears the kid gets up to be sick, and there's hardly any sound heard from the attic all night. if nobody's gonna help ren, then she will (futaba used to like helping, once upon a time).

she texts sojiro the next day, when ren doesn't say anything again, and goes off to school with what she bets is a fake assurance on his face

and you're so right, sojiro dismisses her concern really easily, claims the kid can 'take care of himself' and he won't 'baby' the part-timer. insists ren needs to learn some disipline, then maybe he'll stay out of trouble

frustration wells in futaba- if she was less fixated on what was going on with ren, she'd register it's one of the first changes of mood she's had for months- and she responds with nothing but an audio clip, an attached explanation that this is just from the past few days- it's been going on for weeks, then she waits, and hears the distant sound of her compilation through one of the bugs, a hitched breath from sojiro, curse words under his breath-

for all his earlier postulating about not helping ren if he gets sick, sojiro is immeditely struck with a pang of concern- it sounded bad, and if futaba's words were anything to go by, this had been going on for a while. the kid's at school now (at school, being as ill as that and he was still going to class-), so sojiro will talk to him when he gets back. there's a chance he goes a bit too over the top, between the variation of medicines he purchases, supplies he grabbed from home- if you accused him for over-compensating after maybe being too harsh on the kid in the beginning, you'd be right

and you just know ren would be so resistent at first to help, or even just the offer of staying off school. in his sickness-induced fugue, ren's filter-less in rattling off how he can't stay off, what will the students and teachers think, and he has work that afternoon, and a test soon, and he doesn't want to get in the way-

sojiro's heart just shatters

this kid, whose been silently carring the weight of the world and has apparently been falling to pieces for weeks now and sojiro didn't even notice?

(a part of it reminds him too much of the other kid he's got at home, the countless ways he's already failed futaba, and now ren too? he feels useless)

sojiro focuses on what he can do, and that's making the kid rest. work will understand, school can wait, ren isn't an inconvenience, he guides the kid to bed, calls takemi immediately (who rushes over, despite the fact she's technically closed at this hour, and refuses to take any payment),

even still, there's this stilted awkwardness between them when the quiet pushes on too long- they hardly know each other, afterall. sojiro is still figuring out the 'caring for kids' thing, and ren isn't familiar with any kind of parental affection, so some of sojiro's care veers a bit too close to clinical or mechanic, and ren still struggles to communicate what kind of help he needs, but it's enough for now.

for now, sojiro is there. he's trying, and at least ren's getting some colour back on his skin. for now, ren's willing to take a few days off and have some medicine, but he's over-apologetic and definitely tries to make up for his sickness once he's healed. it's gonna take them both a while yet, but luckily there's always their guardian hacker, ready and able to call them out when needed (and maybe some day she'll be able to keep an eye on ren and sojiro in person)

#ask #also the idea of it being futaba who first realises going on?? developing hers and ren's bond before they even meet?? #june i love your brain have i ever mentioned #such a gem even when it h u r t s (which is obviously only ever ALWAYS <3) #us : *sees angsty p5 game content* it's free real estate! #i want ren to have a HUG and REASSURANCE and also a bowl of soup #instead he gets dusty attic and milk-crate bed and instant noodles he packed for emergencies :c #persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 headcanons #ren amamiya #futaba sakura #sojiro sakura #oh also also!! imagine how sojiro might feel about his early-game behaviour by late-game/post-canon?? #ohhh i bet he'd hate it and there'd be so much self-blame/loathing there #parent guilt and all that good stuff y'know #futaba? seeing herself in early-game ren? ren? seeing himself in palace-futaba? sorry they make me soft and emotional your honour #i love my coffee family but i love it more flavoured with all the issues they haven't yet worked through #once again THIS WASNT MEANT TO BE SO LONG

[em-allay]

I just finished watching Philza’s vod about the syndicate’s finale, and I really liked it! I really appreciated Philza and Niki giving their characters a good ending, how they went out of their way to mentioned that Ranboo and Micheal were also safe. Hell, we even got an appearance of ghost!Connor, which I thought was really funny and very on brand. I think it is safe to say, that this ending is by far my favorite out of all the one’s I’ve seen from the Dream smp.

However, I’m now going to talk about the hard part.

Right at the beginning of Philza’s stream it hit me that this was the first, and now only, syndicate stream I’ve watched that wasn’t from Technoblade’s perspective. And that hit me hard. I had to pause the stream to collect myself enough so I could finish watching, but I can assure you, I had tears in my eyes through most of it. I loved when Phil walked around and fed the dogs, I loved seeing Steve, seeing Techno’s base again, and I laughed so hard when Niki and Phil rang the bell. I know it must have meant a lot to them, as well as all of us.

And at the end, as Philza looked around the syndicate room one last time before he jumped into the end portal, it made me start thinking about Techno, and how much he loved this server and the stories within it.  How he wouldn’t shy from cracking jokes even in the midst of it all, how he would go out of his way to make sure people were included, how he was working towards creating more stories.

I don’t know how much of this is actually canon, but I do remember seeing somewhere that Techno’s character went on a journey as a way to explain his absence within lore. Whether it was to train, to find something, to explore, I honestly can’t fully remember. However, I would like to think that, within this journey of his, he made some discoveries. He found yet another stronghold, and maybe this one had more information about what lies within its walls. Maybe he found a book within the long abandoned library that talks about some kind of portal to an end. Maybe he took this book with him since it peaked his interest. Than maybe as he kept searching around the stronghold, he turned a corner, and hey look! Another cool looking table! Except as he looked at it this time, he realized that it was similar to a sketch he saw in the book. Maybe, out of curiosity, and maybe with the slightest feeling of adventure, he chose to test an old legend he found in an old book.

After Philza’s leap of faith into the end portal, and after falling through what felt like time and space itself, Philza finds himself on a platform. Before he can even get his bearings, he hears an utterly familiar voice say-

“Hulloooooo”

#technoblade never dies #technoblade #philza #syndicate lore #dream smp #dsmp #dsmpblr #When I first found out about Technoblade's passing #writing something about it helped me process my emotions at the time #and as i mentioned above realizing that i had always watch techno's streams for sydicate lore hit me hard #so this is me writing through my emotions again #which lead to me making headcanon on how c!Techno's ending could possibly be like #sorry for the really rough start to this post #but i really like how it ended and wanted to share it #thank you for reading all the way to the end (even to the tags no less!) #<3

[anxiouslyextroverted]

So a few of my irls were talking about how c!dream never targetted c!tommy and or had a dependency issue and I just wanna correct that.

c!Dream at the start of the series (since now the start is considered canon) constantly went after the discs even when c!Tommy told him he wanted to have a truce and that they were allies even wanting to play them together with c!Dream. c!Dream agreed to those terms but then attacked him 5 minutes later anyway.

Not forgetting the first disc fight where c!Dream targetted c!Tommy the whole time and only gave c!Sapnap and c!Ponk and c!Alyssa a slap on the wrist.

c!Dream spent a good portion of a Tommy stream donating him msgs to play the discs.

A couple of early streams of c!Dream trying to get c!Tubbo o someone else against c!Tommy.

Not really targetting but he said "Tommy is under my protection" which is that dependency thing idk it counts.

c!Dream built a tunnel to c!Tommys base.

c!Dream during L'manberg arc seemed more against c!Tommy than c!Wilbur and the others more often than not.

c!Dream focused on getting c!Tommys friends against him, such as most notably c!Tubbo and c!Wilbur in pogtopia arc.

c!Dream betrays c!Tommy in pogtopia arc after initially helping c!Tommy out. He tells c!Tommy this is due to 'business' he also tells him, 'that he put something better over friendship' (aka the revival book he got from c!Schlatt) (either way, he still betrayed him.)

He tells c!Tommy at the end of l'manberg blowing up that 'everythings just getting started', and makes it out as if c!Tommy was in the wong.

A few weeks before exile. c!Dream and c!Puffy went around destroying everything including c!Skeppys home and then framing it on c!Tommy with signs. c!Dream in particular is excited for people to log on and for them to get mad at c!Tommy.

The above was confirmed canon when during Exile trial, c!Dream says that c!Tommy had blown up c!Skeppys house (or he infers it), showing the damage that he himself did.

In Exile trial, I'm not gonna lie c!Tommy totallyyy fucked up here by burning a little TINY tiny small tiny bit of c!Georges home and then trying to fix it. And then he lied about it. (/sarc) But, c!Dream was provoking him in the whisper chat with ":)" and "have fun on probation :)"

During exile, he focuses on putting all blame for his problems on c!Tommy. Not just saying that to c!Tommys face but on other people's streams, he was there talking about how much of a nuisance c!Tommy is and what not.

In exile, he proceeds to get c!Tommy dependent on him so c!Tommy will help with his goals later on. But the way he goes about this is to a severe extreme like how he snaps at him and hits him with an axe or arrow, he takes great enjoyment in bullying c!Tommy and getting others like c!Lazarbeam to bully him too, he makes sure c!Tommy is completely lonely even sending c!Ghostbur away who was memory loss so how could he break c!Dreams plans exactly?, he gasights c!Tommy into thinking that c!Dream didn't kill Mexican Dream, he blows up c!Tommys base despite never telling c!Tommy the rule about how he can't have chests underground.

He goes onto track c!Tommy down. And again, its more the way he goes about it.

Once c!Tommy is back in L'manberg, c!Dream blows up the community house and frames it on c!Tommy. Getting everyone against him and he tells c!Tubbo that he is affiliated to c!Tommy based on the disc that he says is 'Tommys most prized possession' which is him getting c!Tubbo to go against c!Tommy once more.

After Lmanberg gets blown up again. c!Dream tells c!Tommy "I'm not done with you. Our stories not over... Our stories not over" c!Tommy says "Our stories not over but it will be... It will be soon" and c!Dream replies "I don't think our story will ever be over, Tommy. I think that you're just too fun. I don't think It'll be over."

In disc finale, he proceeds to act like that c!Tommy is his main target, calling him the key to the server and going after him more than c!Tubbo. And puts the idea in c!Clingyduos heads that he needs all the possesions to control the server. (now even though c!Dream staged this whole thing and wasn't actually saying his motivations, c!Tommy never knows that he lied about that not at this point at least. It further riles c!Tommy up and has him believing that c!Dream really is obsessed with hurting him and since c!Dream never explains why properly, it comes off to c!Tommy that he is obsessed for no reason.) (Also possible for it to be half staged making the motivations semi-true)

Then, c!Dream causes c!Tommy to get stuck in the cell with him by controlling c!Ranboo to do that (which this is confirmed that he really did do this, confirmed in the final lore stream and in dream xds video)

The point of c!Dream allegedly lying to make c!Tommy think c!Dream was after him all the time is further solidified when in the prison arc. c!Dream refers to c!Tommy as a light, and key and keeps going on about studying death with him. I know a lot of this may very well be real and a result from him being mentally ill from isolation, but theres so many lies sprinkled in here like telling c!Tommy that he never tested out the revival book before when he had (btw correct me if Im wrong here, I could of got the dates mixed up)

c!Sam also claims that c!Dream kept going on about c!Tommy in the prison, c!Sam also says that c!Dream was practically manically laughing after he killed c!Tommy. (Obsession, putting on an act of obsession, mentally ill from the prison sure maybe all 3)

After c!Dream escapes prison, he immediately goes after c!Tommy. (Which sure is to scare c!Tommy into no longer going after him or whatever it could be an act) But he's still putting the idea in c!Tommys head that he's obsessed with hurting him, and don't say that he did this unintentionally because we already have the 'you're too fun line' and several other moments to prove otherwise. He also then puts signs around c!Tommys home saying 'watch your back' and ":) I'm watching" and he makes a trap for c!Tommy to fall into playing back a messed up disc. Don't say that this was apart of c!Tommys delusion because c!Eryn saw it too and a few others did from what I remember-unless thats retconned idunno.

In c!Wilburs finale, c!Dream can't stand the idea of the discs being burned. (The discs are affiliated with c!Tommy as c!Dream has said before, and has said that the discs are c!Tommys most prized possesion) He still cares about them even now. He also watches c!Tommy for majority of the time.

In Dreams space, he claims that his character was not solely torturing c!Tommy for the sake of it, but that he still really enjoyed hurting c!Tommy. Its to vague to tell if Dream is denouncing the 'c!Dream is obsessed with c!Tommy' theory or not. I believe he is saying that it is half true- as in that his character is, but that he has reasons to do so, and or that this wasn't his only plan.

During the final lore finale, c!Dream claims that he wasn't targeting c!Tommy and that he had left him alone however that contradicts with everything I wrote above, so 1. He thinks he left c!Tommy alone, 2. He was referring to the present where he did leave him alone and purposely/or accidentally ignoring the past, or 3. he knows he didn't and is just trying to rile c!Tommy up. Either way he goes onto admit that he did cause c!Ranboo to get c!Tommy stuck in the prison. He also confirms later on that he genuinely believes c!Tommy is the cause of the ruining of his server. "Why are you ruining everything all the time" "You deserved it (torture)" "I am (a villain), I tortured you."

And not to mention. Out of everyone on the server that gets c!Dream to give up and somewhat open up, its c!Tommy... because ofc it is. No ones surprised.

I think that's everything. as always I'm happy to debate with people and stuff preferably in dms but idm. If anything is wrong, correct it. If anything is missed, let me know. ty

#long ass post #c!primeboys #sorry if Im wrong about somethings please correct me on anything I missed and or anything i was wrong about! #dsmp #c!tommy #im a little confused about the last part of the dot points cuz like i interpreted those scenes in like 10 diff ways help me #im assuming cdream lied about never using hte revival book before when he revived ctommy because the lazarbeam thing but then idk if that #happened before or after prison #but then again it was confirmed in disc finale that henry was revived henry or smth idk #dream smp #analysis #also disclaimer: i am aware that a lot of the c!prime early moments are cc!prime doing things for content and fun but since the first #c!tommy stream is canon then so is all those other streams #And in every cc! moment there is always a little bit of lore when its on the dsmp so it is included regardless ty

[gt-gum]

guy who accidentally shrinks some of his friends and eats them for safekeeping while he figures out how to change them back

I just like the idea of carrying around a few (rather grumpy) little guys while you run around doing errands

#or y'know... could just leave em like that >:)c belly full of little friends. but I could what-if all day about this #v0re #g/t #soft vore #safe vore #g/t vore #the guy is SO embarrassed about the whole thing too #sorry for making a post. it might happen again

[avastyetwats]

The Writer and his Songbird

Plotted starter for @izzyeffinhands <3

It wasn't the full moon that made the night so serenely beautiful. It wasn't the ocean way out in the distance that Stede longed to be near, but grateful that he could now see, it wasn't the clear night sky with the thousands upon thousands of stars twinkling above him, nor the calm ocean breeze that he so loved to feel...

It wasn't any of those things that made the night so serenely beautiful - though they did add to it - but it was the mesmerizing voice above him. A voice he's heard a few times before since moving into the apartment complex a few weeks ago and oh, how this made Stede's move worth it. Suddenly, he wasn't dreading his stay here, he wasn't feeling as unhappy as he did the second he set foot into this building... not that there was anything wrong with it. Not at all. It was comfortable and safe, but it wasn't where he longed to be. It was somewhere he had to be until he could get back on his feet and figure some things, having divorced from his wife some weeks ago. A divorce that was a long time coming, a divorce that should have happened long ago, but really, a marriage that shouldn't have happened at all.

It wasn't a marriage that happened out of love, but convenience and security. A marriage his father practically forced him into, bullied him into, made him feel as though he had no other option and wasn't worthy of anything else... a marriage that was more about his father and his business than Stede's own happiness and wellbeing. But finally, he was out.

And so was she. Mary. An ending that would bring about a new beginning for them both.

But not one that was easy for Stede. He left his home, left his family behind, intending to start anew and live the life he always wanted to live, but it was proving to be a challenge. Depression and anxiety got the best of him some nights, so did self-doubt and uncertainty, and the challenge of fitting in, but he was thankful he still had one place he felt comfortable in: his tea and bookshop.

But the third night inside his new home, that's when he heard it: the angelic voice from above singing into the night. He's never heard anything more beautiful, or more inspiring, and for the first time in what felt like years, Stede sat down at his desk and wrote. Yes, he was a writer. An avid reader of many things and an avid writer of some fictional stories and some poetry. A hobby more than anything, having never pursued a career due to the life forced upon him and the scolding of what he wanted to do and where he wanted to be.

But thanks to that voice above, inspiration had returned to the writer. Every night he kept his balcony door open and on the nights that voice returned, Stede would often lean against the railing outside or sit at the table outside and write.

Though he wasn't quite brave enough to meet the man the beautiful voice belonged to, he would leave him little notes outside of his door praising his voice, crediting him with helping to find lost inspiration and bring joy back into his life, and he'd only ever sign it The Polite Menace down below with a little heart over the i.

Stede kept this up for a good few days, anytime Izzy would bless him with his voice, and eventually Stede started receiving delicious baked goods outside of his door signed with his own special nickname. But it was instant that Stede figured out who it was - the melodious mystery man above - and so the notes continued, leaving even more now to praise his talent in baking, too.

Something that inspired Stede to try again. He was never an expert at it by any means, but he'd baked a thing or two in his previous life, though it had been a long time, but perhaps he, too, could leave a delicious treat for his Angelic Siren above...

Unfortunately that hadn't gone well at all. Made evident in the amount of smoke that billowed out of his balcony door and into the night above, eventually sounding off the alarms that sent Stede into a panic as he tried to put out the small fire inside of his oven. And this is why he wasn't near brave enough to reveal himself to the man above that he's had a crush on for weeks now, because he was nothing but a big, embarrassing mess.

#again sorry this got long #i tend to set things up and then go all over the place haha #i'm still figuring out details but we can always add/change as we go! #i'm so excited for this omg #falling for each other without having met - falling for each other's kindness and talent and personality #and then they meet and stede just 'you've been at my shop!' #and he just falls even harder as izzy does hahaha #let the romance begin! #long post tw #t; the writer and his songbird #c; stede bonnet #izzyeffinhands

[sneezydarliing]

hello!! i haven’t interacted with your blog much but i just rolled in from the last tigh//nari post you wrote (so good!) and saw you might be looking for requests? i’m still really nervous asking and not sure what i’m doing so no offense taken if you disregard!

anyway, i’d love to read some cy/no content? if you’re along w any ships (cynari, haino, etc) that’s totally cool. maybe like a [plant/flower] allergy situation when he visits the forest?

hope you’re well and thanks for sharing content <3

Thank you so much for the req!! I'm sorry for the wait, I really hope you enjoy!

reqs are open

Pairing: cynari

Words: 1044

CW/TW: sneezing content, mention of mess

Cyno had not anticipated anything special out of this trip to the forest. He was going only to see Tighnari- who had excitedly informed him of a new discovery made deep into the forest watcher’s patrolling area. The look on his friend’s face, combined with the eager swishing of his tail behind him, was more than enough convincing to get the mahamntra to venture into the greenery.

It’s quiet as he pads along the roughly and hastily made trail, leaving him with his own thoughts- excitement to see tighnari again, listen to him ramble on about whatever he had found, a slight apprehension at the possibility of this being dangerous- not that either of them could not hold their own, but tighnari was often so eager to research that he did not stop to think about any possible consequences to himself, and he hated seeing him in pain. Muddled in with these feelings, a slight but sudden itch in the back of his nose. He presses a knuckle against the side of it absentmindedly, just as a pair of ears perking up quickly catches his attention.

“You made it!” Tighnari calls out to him, tredging through ankle-deep tangles of weeds to meet him. There’s a smudge of dirt on his cheek, and a tangle in his usual well-kept tail. As Cyno nods his greeting, he cannot help but wonder how long he’s been out here. The other seems to be aware of it, occasionally flicking the appendage about in absent-minded frustration.

Tighnari leads him further into the forest, happily rambling on about the things they pass by and what his research has granted so far. Cyno can’t get himself to focus, the itch in his sinus suddenly alight, forcing his breath to hitch just once before calming again. He can almost feel Tighnari’s concerned frown, but he decides to keep quiet about it for now, to Cyno’s gratitude.

Suddenly, he’s stopped. Tighnari moves to the side, looking at Cyno with pride clear in his eyes. He’s meet with the sight of a large, blooming flower, encased in golden vines that seem almost-conscious, twitching at any movement around them. “I haven’t been able to touch it yet, and my elemental attacks have no effect. That’s why I brought you out here, I was hoping maybe electrical- Cyno?” His ramblings cease as he catches sight of him, hands cupped loosely in front of his face, usually serious expression crumpled into one of desperation as he fights off the need uselessly, breath stuttering until he can no longer fight it.

‘hEh-itSH! ‘tShi! hiH-” The third one is lost, leaving him sniffling, trying to rub the irritation out of his sinuses. “Archons, bless you! Are you feeling alright?” Cyno sniffles uselessly again, trying to will some of the congestion out of his voice before he speaks.

“I’m fine. You can romaine calm.” Tighnari groans in response. “You must be, if you’ve got the energy to make jokes. Anyways, can you try to hit ones of the vines with your elemental attack? Be gentle, please, and don’t damage the plant itself.” Cyno nods, saluting in a ‘yes sir’ gesture, as he prepares to follow instructions. He presses the back of his hand to his nose, scrunching up the appendage as he aims carefully. But he was unable to fight against his body and control it at once, sent foreward with another flurry of sneezes the moment he releases the energy, causing it to be sent foreward towards the flower. It’s reaction was instant, sending out a shower of pollen before curling into a ball, vines wound around it tightly. Cyno faintly hears a noise of frustration come from Tighnari, but he can’t focus, paralyzed with the awful tickle that came as the pollen surrounded him. He was in the direct line of fire, and he felt it, nostrils feeling alight as his eyes watered, he couldn’t even fight it, thrown into a desperate fit.

“haH’TSCHhi- KSHhiew! hih- hidT’SHHih! ‘idtSHhiew- sCHih!” They tore at his throat, raw and painful as his body tried desperately to release all of the pollen. He felt almost embarrassed, unable to do anything as Tighnari watched helplessly. “tignarihHh-tSHhi!” Even just his name seemed to break his stupor, the fox-tailed man rushing over and grabbing Cyno’s arm, bringing him somewhere- he could not even keep his eyes open long enough to tell, the lower half of his face buried in an arm he threw up to avoid spraying the other. He felt himself be gently led into a sitting position, half aware of the sun now beaming down on them.

His breath caught, leaving him helpless into a rough fit of coughing that didn’t seem to let him. He felt Tighnari’s hand on his back, rubbing comforting circles as he whispered encouraging phrases until the coughing finally let up. He leaned back against Tighnari, unable to resist the need to catch his breath. His face was wet with tears, nose running onto his upper lip. He roughly cleaned it up with the back of his wrist.

“There you go, you’re okay. Any trouble breathing?” Came the soft voice next to Cyno, reminding him suddenly of his blunder. Tighnari had been so eager to research, and he had messed it up. Guilt shot through him. “Sorry, ‘nari.” He pawed at his nose again while he spoke.

“It’s alright. I can bring somebody else another day.” Tighnari soothed, hands beginning to card through the others' hair. “Right now, we need to get you cleaned up. The pollen on your clothes won’t do you any good.” he stood quickly, reaching out a hand to Cyno, but he was distracted with the need to sneeze once again, raising a shaky hand in warning.

“hIh’tSChih!i’tsCHuh!” He sniffled once more as Tighnari waited patiently, before taking the hand offered to him, letting himself be pulled onto his feet.

“Hey, ‘Nari?” The forest watcher turned back to face him, “What is it?” “I’m very frond of you.” Tighnari huffed, turning back around and beginning to stalk off, stopping only a few paces in front of him. “I love you, too, Cyno.” Mahamatra grinned, catching up to his partner as they began the trek home, punctuated with the occasional sneezes.

#snz stuff #sneeze kink #sneeze #sneeze fic #ali talks #snz #sneeze stuff #gen/shin #im so sorry for what is probably violent mischaracterization!! i only had what very little ive done of the sumeru quests to do #go off of #but this was really fun to do!! i feel like the way i write snz's gets repetitive so i tried very hard to aviod that #i hope the spelling isnt wonky though 😭 #forgive any errors i tried my best to proofread but ive got too much caffiene in my system rn #<- did this to myself b/c i forget to eat #anyways #reqs are still open so feel free to shoot anything else my way! hope you all enjoy #going to jump over to desktop in a minute to put a readmore on here do not fret #ali?? actually posting a fic as planned?? not only that but the fic that he had planned???? unheard of #it probably wont happen again #queing this until the evening because i feel like snzblr is a lot more active then #if anybody thinks differently lmk! I like to try to aviod my stuff getting buried lol

[tianhai03]

before i go to bed, here’s a couple of colorings C submitted in the past few days!

#the bg for the baby twins one is very simple but i like it :) #devil may cry #dante(dmc) #vergil(dmc) #fan's colorings #from now on its ramblings for C again so you guys can stop reading <3 #hey C!! please dont feel like youre bothering me with your submissions; youre not at all! #i would keep posting your stuff individually but i just think it'll be a little better to post them in batches thats all #i dont want you to feel pressured into doing more but i dont want you to feel bad for doing too much either #i just want you to have fun doing it; submit it whenever you feel like it; and i'll post them eventually i promise #im really sorry if what i said last time made you feel like i was annoyed with you; i swear i wasnt! #i genuinely do enjoy looking at what you do it's always fun to see what kinda things people can do when inspired by stuff ive made #if you wanna take a break thats totally fine! i'll be here to post your submissions whenever youre ready again #also; your dad's words are very kind!! please thank him for me!!! #i'll be off to bed now; please take care :) #allyart

[master-gatherer]

It's fascinating how in reaction to the crab day idea half my dashboard is like "Tumblr is awful do not give them one red cent let the motherfucker burn" and the other half is like "let's save the rec center 🙂"

#do crab day dont do crab day #itll be a nice boost to the site but like its been pointed out it wont completely solve tumblr's money woes #but also it is $3 for crabs #like... no one's asking you to drop big bucks on this #hell you can just say no #this is like how every year ao3 does their fundraiser and people come on to scream about how its a waste of money #and how you should be giving it to someone more worthy #as if those donation posts arent passing the same $5 around to get by #or when the importan blue checks came out #people spending $3 on crabs would probably spend that $3 on something equally dumb or not at all #sorry #just dont participate #and make plans to lift stakes when tumblr finally goes under/starts really sucking b/c theyre gonna keep doing shit like this #until they go under or turn a profit #thats capitalism #and even if we get our glorious communist revolution social media will probably not make it to the communes #locked it down since crab day originator found it and well its out that theyre a pro-life terf so 🤷 blocked #anyway congrats on reblogging a godless heathen #your idea was cute anyway #update: i had an idea and now its rebloggable again #fyi: i block hard 🙃

[a-motherfucking-beast]

coach ur so cool but i hate exercising :(

SON. LET ME TELL YOU. THERE IS A CERTAIN THING ALL THE LANKY BINOS IN THEIR HAUGHTY-TAUGHTY UNIVERSITIES AGREE ON. AND THAT'S THAT THERE ARE *SOME* THINGS THAT ARE ESSENTIAL TO BEING A HUMAN. ART -- MUSIC, DANCE, VISUAL MEDIUMS. FRIENDSHIP, BROTHERHOOD. JOY AND SORROW. SHARING OF KNOWLEDGE. FAITH. LOVE. FOR SOMEONE ELSE, FOR THIS WORLD, FOR YOURSELF.

AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. FUCK YEAH

BE IT PLAYING TIGGY IN THE SCHOOLYARD OR BEING A PROFESSIONAL LINEBACKER PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE PLAYS A SPORT OR EVEN JUST WALKS SOMEWHERE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE. FOR GOOD REASON -- EXERCISE RELEASES ENDORPHINS AND DOPAMINE AND OTHER FEEL-GOOD SHIT IN YOUR BRAIN, BALLFACE, AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THE OTHER BENEFITS OF STAYING HEALTHY AND BEING ABSOLUTELY YOKED AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY THAT SHOULD PROBABLY CONVINCE YOU TO TRY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

SON, I'M NOT GOING TO CONVINCE YOU TO TAKE UP BODYBUILDING OR ANY OTHER HEFTY COMMITMENT LIKE THAT. THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC BUT EVEN I CAN RECOGNISE THAT IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE. I CAN ONLY OFFER THIS ADVICE.

IF YOU HATE EXERCISING THEN THERE ARE ONLY SEVERAL (AT LEAST ONE) POSSIBILITIES WHY YOU DO.

A) YOU HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT OUTLET. TRY OUT A NEW SPORT YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED BEFORE THAT YOU CAN PLAY AT YOUR LOCAL GYM. HARRY WAS THE FUCKING GOAT AT BEING A GYM TEACHER BUT NOT EVERY GYM TEACHER IS AS FANTASTIC AS HE WAS AND MAY NOT FACILITATE THE FULL EXPERIENCE OF PLAYING A SPORT SO MAYBE EVEN TRY PLAYING SOMETHING YOU THINK YOU DON'T LIKE. HELL, MAYBE TRY SOMETHING LIKE ACROBATIC ARTS, THAT SHIT NEEDS STRENGTH AS WELL. FUCKING BREAKDANCING. BECOME AN ANAL ACROBAT LMFAO. HELL, YOU DON'T NEED SOMETHING STRENUOUS -- EVEN IF YOU GO FOR A WALK IN YOUR LOCAL PARK EVERY MORNING WHEN THE SUN'S JUST RISING (THE VIEW AROUND THE LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF JAMROCK IS BEAUTIFUL) OR DO SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU WAKE UP THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING. DON'T LET ANYONE PUT YOU DOWN FOR DOING LESS THAN THEM.

B) YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT PEOPLE SUPPORTING YOU. AGAIN, YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD'VE HAD OUR HARRY AS YOUR TEACHER AND REFEREE, BUT IT ALSO COMES DOWN TO YOUR TEAMMATES, WHETHER THEY FACILITATE YOUR PRESENCE AND BUILD A SENSE OF CAMARADERIE WITH YOU. YOUR SPOTTER, WHO YOU PLACE ULTIMATE TRUST IN. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, THE PEOPLE YOU HOLD CLOSEST WHO YOU CAN SHARE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS WITH. OR EVEN JUST THE PERSON DOING THEIR OWN THING NEXT TO YOU WHO MIGHT GIVE YOU A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT OR CONGRATULATE YOU WHEN YOU HIT A NEW PERSONAL RECORD. GOING TO A GYM CAN HELP WITH THIS WHEN YOU ALL HAVE A SHARED GOAL, BUT THERE'S PLENTY OF ELITISTS THERE WHO MIGHT SHIT ON YOU FOR BEING A NEWBIE OR NOT HAVING THE SAME CAPABILITIES AS THEM OR EVEN HARASSING YOU FOR YOUR IDENTITY. TUNE THEM OUT. THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE ARE PRESENT EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND YOU SHOULDN'T ALLOW THEM TO SULLY YOUR EXPERIENCES. OR ALSO YOU CAN DECK THEM IN THE FACE. PERSONALLY I'M LEANING TOWARDS THE SECOND ONE BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE (DO THE SECOND ONE)

NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THAT STRAIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW -- ONLY DO SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU'RE CAPABLE OF, AND SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU CAN ENJOY. DON'T TURN THIS SHIT INTO A GODDAMN CHORE THAT LEAVES YOU SUFFERING EVERY TIME YOU DO IT, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT OF ANY OF IT. I DON'T KNOW YOUR PERSONAL SITUATION, NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THE MEANS OR THE TIME OR THE PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES. BUT CALISTHENICS DOESN'T TAKE ANY SPECIAL EQUIPMENT AND EVEN JUST SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU GET UP WILL DO. GODDAMMIT, COACH *WILL* FIND SOMETHING THAT WORKS FOR YOU, BOY

ANYWAYS DAMN RIGHT I'M FUCKING COOL DON'T YOU FORGET THAT

#SKILLSPOSTING #LONG POST #Ooc: OK dropping the “ooc notes in capslock too” bit for this. I am so sorry I don't know how this got so long. I blame the capslock LOL 🤣 #Even now my eyes are glazing over looking at this... #This is something I'm a liiiittle bit passionate about. HPE was always my C subject in school while I'd get straight A's everywhere else... #...and my teachers were all the type to only watch the people they already knew were good (who would be very exclusive and only pass... #...the ball to one another). Badminton saved me though! 😊 (Sadly my leg is too bad now so I can't play anymore...) #It's easy for me to say all this since I come from a place of privilege having enough free time for this when some people might not #As well as being able to walk and run in the first place. And usually having the motivation to get up to do that. #So again don't let me yelling at you through PI influence you. You know *yourself* better than anyone. #BUUUUT even some stretches when you get up can make you feel good! 🤗Hahaha #Treat your body well. It's the only one you have. (I know that's *so* cliché to say... but it's a cliché for a reason hahaha) #ALSO. This whole thing... kind of doesn't align with my view of PI? But I'll talk about that in the tags of another response I need to make

[swiftviolets]

early mornings on the balcony 🚬

#sorry for a lazy post i am soooo tired #but im back from my weekend away so hopefully ill be posting more again soon :) #also i had to reinstall reahade and lost all my shader presets so i need to fix them before i take anymore screenies </3 #ts4 screenies #ts4 screenshots #mine #screenshots #c: lori

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father