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#and would require a lot of modification to make that happen
megansplants · 2 years
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Fall is approaching quickly and I’m still trying to figure out what my living situation might look like. Looking more and more likely that I’m going to have to get rid of a significant number of my plants 😭😭😭😭💔
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20dollarlolita · 3 months
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Okay I gotta ask, why do you hate invisible zippers?
There are some dresses that I can't wear because I can get the zip up. This is due to hand weakness from a botched surgery, and due to the fact that I rely on a garment being at least a little bit shirred in order to fit my body measurements. For the majority of dresses that this applies to, I can't put them on if there's an invisible zipper, but can wear them just fine if the zipper is changed and no other modifications are made. Invisible zippers can make an EGL garment not inclusive to larger sizes and to certain disabilities.
Invisible zippers are weaker than traditional zippers. In order to hide up into the seam allowance, they have to have exposed teeth that curl. Because the curl is wider, the zip is more likely to have teeth shift and go out of alignment. When they're misaligned, the zipper is more likely to open up from the bottom. If this happens on a traditional nylon coil zipper, you are often able to actually re-seat the zipper, but that's not an option in an invisible zipper.
Invisible zippers are not invisible if you're using the shirring in the dress to make it fit. If there's strain on the garment, it's going to pull the seam apart and make the zipper very visible.
Invisible zipper slides don't have a hole in the end of the slide, meaning that people who use adaptive tools to help zip their garments have a lot fewer options for griping and pulling.
Invisible zippers are much more difficult to put in precisely. When you're putting in a traditional zipper, you can take your time to make sure that your seams match up when you baste your seam together, and the you don't need to worry about those pieces matching up later. Getting a waist seam to match up when you don't start by basting it together is much harder. Since invisible zippers are much more applicable to precision garments where you need to have zero topstitching, a misaligned waist seam is going to be much less forgiving.
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Invisible zippers are, in lolita fashion, often pretty rarely a requirement. A lot of our fashion is pretty heavily inspired by vintage clothing, and a lapped zipper that's done well looks like a nice little vintage touch. If your fabric is printed, even if your dress has minimal or no topstitching, the pattern will hide the stitching pretty nicely. This is especially true if you didn't have enough fabric to match the pattern across the sides of the zip; it won't look like a smooth unbroken line anyway, so why install a more exclusionary, weaker, less precise, and still eventually visible zip there?
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There are garments where you really don't want topstitching at all. This dress that I made back in 2013 makes extensive use of shaped facings to avoid any topstitching at all. To stick a zipper in a traditional form would really break that look. But in lolita fashion, the times when this is actually necessary is a lot less than the number of times when it's used.
But if your garment has topstitching literally anywhere, you can justify putting the Objectively Superior Traditional Zipper in there.
So yeah, as long as I'm disabled and larger than a Japan size 6, I'm going to stand behind my statement that invisible zippers are evil.
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vodka-bot · 1 month
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Are passwords with words actually good? I ask because you mentioned being shown that xckd comic in security class
Short Answer:
Yes! Its easier to remember, and the chance of a hacker guessing your password is very low- especially if the words are unrelated (such as CorrectHorseBatteryStaple)
Long answer:
Yes, but there are lots of different ways passwords can be compromised.
A password with words- or a passphrase- is good because it adds many possibilities. For example, CorrectHorseBatteryStaple has 25 characters in total. A hacker has no idea WHAT those 25 characters are, making a brute force attack (a method where you try every POSSIBLE combination) will take fucking eons- and nobody has time for that. Using a passphrase also prevents modifications, ie. when you use 1337speak or add random capitalization (password -> p455w0rd -> Password!).
However, a password/passphrase is only as good as how many times its used. If you use CorrectHorseBatteryStaple for everything, from your Tumblr account to your bank, it makes it REALLY EASY to hack into your stuff. If you use the same email and password for a random forum that is the SAME email and password for your paypal, they could theoretically access your paypal. There's another great xckd comic on this:
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So, its best to have a different password for everything. I recommend a password manager. I personally use BitWarden since its free, can connect between your phone and your computer, and it requires one master password to access everything! (Which is easier than remembering 25 different long ass passwords). I tend to randomly generate them then punch them in.
If you want to be more secure, I recommend 'peppering' your randomly generated passwords. I wont go to into what that means, but basically, a password 'pepper' is adding an extra little bit at the end. lets say you choose your pepper to be 'xkcd', your password would look like 'passwordxkcd'. That way, if something ever happens to your password manager, you STILL don't have to worry to much about your passwords!
What I do is save a password in Bitwarden (8zeCSdv7k$), then whenever it autofills, i add my pepper onto as my official password! (8zeCSdv7k$xkcd). Therefore, the only things i have to remember are:
A) a master password, where I recommend using a passphrase, and
B) a random 'pepper' word to add onto the end of your passwords
And boom! That's IT security 101 with a dude who has taken one class.
TLDR: Passphrases are good and great for memorizing, but try not to reuse them! Use a password manager and keep your info safe!
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gamebunny-advance · 3 months
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Let's Just Rip Off This Band-Aid (Kliff Doll Repaint)
I still haven't finished adding the fringe to his scarf, but at this point, I don't think y'all will actually care that much. It's a personal project anyway, so I'll just finish it on my own time. Right now, I want to be released from the shackles of this project.
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Once again, my poor camera and lack of editing do him no favors (he's got a real bad case of jaundice in that first pic. I PROMISE he's not that yellow-orange IRL ;o;), but he is (mostly) done.
Well, he was (mostly) done like a week ago, but just yesterday I decided to redo a few things to try and "fix" what was really bothering me about him, so I really made recursive progress. That said, I do like him more now than I did a week ago, so I'm not mad about it.
A little backstory: Alongside Kun3h0, I've been working on him for the past month, so I've been pretty occupied with this project for a while. Now, I do wonder to myself why exactly I thought making this would be a good idea. All I can really say is that my impulsive tendencies drive me to do things against my better judgement.
But, I will still give y'all my documentation and thoughts on the process + more pictures.
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(I'll talk a little more about it later, but for those of you that aren't going to go through the long-ass readmore, the Neon J. mask is a reference to an old comic I drew.)
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(It's so old, I was still writing everything by hand~)
So, the "real" answer to "why" I made this is really as simple as "because I could." As I said in the Kun3h0 post, I've been wanting to repaint dolls for a long time, years even, so in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of ways I could finally start one.
Well, recently I just finally put together the ideas and motivation I needed to start. And of course, that was with Kliff.
I don't remember *exactly* how I stumbled across everything, but I do recall looking at doll clothes online and stumbling across this trench coat (pictured with the other clothes for this project).
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(I took this pic mostly because I thought I was going to take pics of every major step of the process, but that didn't end up happening).
I thought it was pretty darn close to Kliff's coat, and I got the horrible idea that, "I could def make a Kliff doll to go with this coat as long as I can repaint it."
I feel like usually people would think the other way around, but that is basically the truth of this project: I didn't find clothes to fit the doll, I made the doll to fit into the clothes. Because for me, customizing the doll wasn't really the intimidating part: it's making the clothes. I don't know how to use a sewing machine, and currently lack the patience to learn (and due to some personal trauma that I don't really want to get into), but I can hand-sew, so starting any project that involves it requires me to be willing to set aside a lot of energy for me to do it, which I don't often have.
But, if I could find ways to cut down on the sewing, then I'd be more willing to start. And somehow, I was able to find just about everything I would need for a potential Kliff doll without having to sew anything. In the end, I only sewed together one thing, and it's the one thing that isn't actually finished: the scarf.
So, I blame the trench coat for the entirety of this project: if I'd never seen it, I would have never made a Kliff doll. In fact, I got the clothes before I even had the doll.
Since I was brainstorming this project, one of the most important parts is of course the base doll, which was tricky. Male doll repaints are fairly uncommon, especially of older men, so there weren't a lot of resources or places to get inspiration for this project.
From what I found, most male (fashion) dolls were very youthful, and the ones that weren't usually took heavy modifications to achieve, which was out of the question. Kliff was supposed to be an "easy" project, so on top of not wanting to sew any clothes for him, I also didn't want to have to alter the doll that much to make it look like him. This was a lot to ask for without putting in any personal work, but in a way, this goal was supposed to keep me from actually starting this project: really this whole thing was supposed to just live in my head as a fantasy as most things do, but then I just stumbled into the right set of things, so I couldn't stop myself from going through with it.
The doll I landed on was a BTS Mattel doll. Now I've said before that I know basically nothing about BTS, and that is still true, but that's beside the point. In my research for finding a suitable doll to work with, I found out that a popular base were these BTS dolls. At first, I wasn't into it because I was still running into the "youthful face" problem that I was with other brands: most of them had pillowy lips and nice soft faces, but I did eventually find one that I thought was close enough: J-Hope.
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(It's not the worst match up.)
I don't have pics of my doll before I started working on him, but it was pretty close to the stock photo. He has much thinner lips than the others, and a taller, more angular head shape that I thought would work best for Kliff. I did worry a bit that the nose wasn't "strong" enough to really be Kliff (and IMO, it wasn't XP), but it was the closest I found yet, so I decided to bite the bullet and get one, and if I had one, that meant I needed to start gathering everything I would need for this project.
So, no backing out now.
Now, actually acquiring this doll was a whole other song and dance, but here's the part that's important for how the process went:
Due to a miscommunication with the seller I eventually got him from, there was a delay with shipping, so I didn't actually get him until weeks after "officially" starting this project. In the meantime, the clothes and things for Kun3h0 (who I started as an impulse project within the impulse project) had already been gathered.
The original plan was that I was going to work on and subsequently post about Kliff first since he was a comparatively simpler project. All the things I was avoiding for Kliff: sewing clothes and making modifications to the doll, were all going to be incorporated into Kun3h0, so she was theorhetically going to take longer and be posted later, thus telling a small story of "starting simple, ending complex." But since I didn't have his doll, but didn't want to delay working on Kun3h0 just to wait on him, I started on her and repainting his clothes anyway.
So, I don't have any pics of the doll or his clothes from when I was working on them, unlike the sparse ones I had for Kun3h0, I only have pics from after he was finished.
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But I'll still tell y'all what I can to at least preserve the story.
For starters, repainting this coat was probably the most time-consuming part of this process.
I really thought that it would take one or two days maximum to turn this coat bright yellow, but I think it actually took over a week. And I really should have known; the coat was a medium tone, and I know that yellow takes a while to build up on anything that isn't light. I lost count at some point, but I swear that thing has over 20 coats of paint on it. Mind you, the first 10 or so coats were watered down with the textile medium, which also contributed to how long it was taking for the coat to take color, but at some point I just got so frustrated that I stopped mixing in the medium and painting directly onto the coat to get the color to layer faster. This is a huge no-no for painting acrylics onto fabric, lest the paint crack from creasing the fabric, but I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I needed this thing to be dandelion yellow NOW or I was gonna lose it.
There were consequences for taking that shortcut, such as the paint cracking in high motion areas and the coat getting stiff, but it's not terrible. In the end, I accepted the trade-offs or else I might still be painting the coat. Perhaps one day I'll reverse engineer the pattern for the coat and make him a new one, but I wouldn't count on it. In retrospect, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had thought to bleach the coat first?
As you might notice, I contoured/shaded part of the coat in orange. That's something that I actually *just* added yesterday and added another couple of hours to the work time. It was just bothering me that the doll was essentially a giant slab of yellow, and was part of the reason I didn't like it very much. But I got inspired by this repaint to try contouring the coat to give it more depth.
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(I also used this person's videos to modify the hands. He has one deidcated to just reshaping the BTS hands.)
In the end, I'm pretty happy with the results.
The rest of the clothes weren't as difficult to deal with.
The pants took the paint a lot better, likely due to being dark paint on a light surface. Since I used less paint, it's not as stiff as the coat and still go on very easily. Though, they are VERY high waisted, and I'm not sure if that's normal XP
The shoes are also painted (and slightly modified), though I had to paint them twice because the first time, the paint got stretched off when I tried to put them on the doll's feet: the shoes were just *slightly* too small for the feet of the doll, so they really get stretched to fit his feet, and his heels don't actually go in all the way XP.
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He's still capable of standing on his own, but I try not to remove the shoes, so I can avoid having them crack again.
In my "initial clothes" pic, I put down a different shirt than the one he's wearing. The original plan was to repaint the shirt black, but my work space is very limited, so I couldn't really repaint three pieces of clothes at once without significantly risking that I would stain other things. In the end, after getting scarred by how long it was taking for the coat to take color, I decided to just give him one of the black shirts that came with the coat. This does make him somewhat inaccurate since the current shirt has flowers/plants on it, but I'm gonna say that they make up for the lack of flowers on his scarf. Maybe someday I'll make him a new shirt from an old sock or something, but for now, I don't think it's a bad look.
Other clothing of note is the scarf, but since it's not technically finished I didn't take any close pics of it. It's actually made of an old headband of mine that I just cut and painted to look like his scarf.
Originally, I had actually glued on ribbon to it for the stripes, which took a couple days for the drying, but because I couldn't flatten out the scarf to easily glue the ribbon, it turned into a mess and bulked it out too much: since the scale of the doll is already small, I really needed to keep the fabrics thin. This was especially important for the scarf since it was going to wrap around his neck: if it were any thicker, it was going to practically eat up his face, which it still does, just less so.
Speaking of face...
When I finally got the doll in the mail, I started working on him right away, so I don't have any "before" pics of the doll.
After I did the usual "wiping off the face and pulling out his hair," I started with repainting the entire body and head.
Despite Kliff being ambigously "WHITE 🫵," Kliff isn't as pale as the original doll. I'd say even the stock picture I posted above has more warmth than the actual doll did. So, I got the base to be "coral" all over, dusted him in light orange chalk pastels for contouring, and most of his details are outlined in shades of burgandy. I didn't take any nude pics of this doll, but he is countoured all over his body and you can rest easy knowing I gave him some nips XP. But maybe someday I'll show y'all doll!Kliff's washboard abs XP.
TBH, I did want to detail some tattoos and some body hair too, but I just didn't trust myself to do either of those well with the tools I have (my brushes aren't thin enough, and my hand not steady enough for those kind of intricate details). Maybe someday I'll at least get his tattoos in (and after I've actually designed them XP), but we'll see. I don't plan on having the doll in short sleeved clothes very often, so details like that are the least of my concerns.
TBH, I was pretty proud of how the face paint originally went on. I really took my time to make sure it went down flat. It really was beautifully smooth~
But disaster struck.
I had painted the head while it was still separated from the body, and when it finally came time to reunite them, the paint on the head cracked and peeled when I shoved it back on. And, foolish fool that I am, instead of accepting my losses and starting over from a perfectly clean head, I just peeled the lose ends and repainted the exposed parts, which of course made the paint uneven. I somewhat justified this with the idea that most of it would be covered by other details, but in retrospect, I really should have just started over properly.
But, after that ordeal was over with, it was time to actually work on the face.
I can't clearly remember if I worked on Kun3h0 or Kliff's face first. I think I worked on them simultaneously because it took me a LONG time to actually get the courage to work on Kun3h0's face.
I thought I did a decent job on Kun3h0 since I really only had the 1 eye to repaint (the hidden eye is painted, but it's basically just a void with no details), and it was a bigger "canvas", so it was easier to paint. Besides having 2 eyes that I would need to make nearly identical, they were also a lot smaller, so it took a lot longer to paint them in a way that satisfied me (and since it's not easy to "redo" acrylic paint, his eyes lost a lot of smoothness too).
Again, I don't have any "before" pics, so it won't be easy for me to convey my troubles about it, but I do want to say that I think Kliff with a closed mouth is very cursed.
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:I
He just looks like he's itching to say something heinous and that is no different for the doll.
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It was so difficult for me both match his expression on a face that wasn't *completely* his and still look like him. Although I chose this doll because he most resembled Kliff, he was never gonna be a perfect likeness of him, but despite knowing this, it still bothered me that the face was still just very "young" looking.
Granted, I don't think the original Kliff looks *that* old either (if I didn't know any better, I would assume he was in his 30s, not his 50s, especially compared to other characters around the same age), but still not as *smooth* as the doll is (even with my paint mishaps).
If you can believe it, the face actually used be worse. I don't have pics of it, but like the coat, I actually repainted his face yesterday to again try and fix what was making me dislike it before. I think the problem is that I didn't outline the eyes as much as the final one (like, I don't think I lined his undereye at all), so he was lacking depth. The mouth was also a little more off. Instead of being like "<--->" it was more like "|-|"
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(A rough illustration of what I'm trying to describe.)
So, while it's still not perfect, I do like him more today than I did a week ago.
I think the only things left to talk about are his accessories, starting with his wig:
I'm not actually a big fan of the color. When I started this project, I wanted to try and make him as accurate as possible, and the original Kliff design has a very "cherry jolly rancher" hair color.
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However, how I draw him and how he appears in Encore Edition gives his hair a more red-orange tone which isn't as intense. In the end, I opted for accuracy towards his first design since that's the one I was technically most familiar with and wanted to replicate, but in retrospect, I should have realized that I was never gonna be able to seperate my personal quirks from this personal project, so I should have gone with a color that was more accurate to how I interpret him. (I dunno if I would have gone as far as to give him triangular eyes, but one of my biggest takeaways from this project has been that I should have just allowed this to be "my take" on the character instead of trying to be "accurate," meeting in the middle, and satisfying neither condition.)
I don't think I really got across how much I HATED brushing out yarn for the wigs when I posted Kun3h0. It was just such a tedidus process, from brushing it out, to straightening it, to gluing it down. It was such a mess. I'm still finding loose wisps of yarn hair floating around my home since I made them.
Since I had more than had my fill from making Kun3h0's wig, I once again started taking shortcuts when it came to Kliff: I really should have made more wefts for him. I figured since his hair was (compartively) shorter, that I wouldn't need to make as many, but in the end his wig turned out both too thin and too thick.
Since his hair is so messy, I didn't follow any kind of guide for his hair like I did Kun3h0. I basically just glued around the perimeter of the cap, horizontally on the inside, and made sure it would fold over in the front.
Part of the problem is that I made the wefts too thick: instead of just gluing down what could actually touch the surface of the work area, I wound up gluing layers on top of each other, so the wefts would be like a mm thick when they should have been less than half of that. So, I barely got enough coverage for the scalp, and the parts that I did get down are very thick. I think it makes his head look bigger than it should which kinda adds to the uncanniness of him.
I did try to style it as close to canon as possible, but there are some things that just aren't (easily) possible in certain mediums, and Kliff's wild hair is one of them.
In retrospect, I probably should have just sculpted his hair with clay or something: it probably would have been more accurate, but I don't have much confidence in my sculpting ability, and again, I didn't want to modify the doll that much, so I stuck with the yarn.
I might suck it up and try and make him a new wig, I still have a LOT of red yarn left over, so maybe I can make him some new styles too. But the tedium of going through with it makes it very unlikely that I'll follow through~
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(The wig from other angles.)
Since the beard is made from the same yarn, I'll lightly talk about that. There aren't too many resources about bearded dolls, but I've seen people root it, glue it, and even just paint it if they weren't supposed to be thick. In the end I used this repaint for reference (suggestive content warning) and glued it on.
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The scarf covers most of it, but I think it turned out okay. I need to add just a *little* more to his left cheek, but otherwise I feel like I was successful.
Next, it's usually hidden due to all the crap that's on his head, but I did give him an earring.
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I didn't think about it until way too late in the process, and I tried to poke a hole through his ear so he could actually wear it. However, when I tried to do so, I almost ruined his head paint a second time. Saying, "fuck that," I decided to just glue it on.
If I had been more brave with modifying this doll, I might have just resculpted his ears entirely, because, being based on a real life human being, the doll's ears don't flare out that much, so they're easily covered by other things.
His glasses are just a piece of painted plastic that hold to his face using some plastic cord. They fit well while his wig is off, but putting them on with everything else is a goddamn nightmare.
Since his ears are so small, and his hair is so short, there's nothing for the glasses to "grab" onto without the cord, but the cord is too short to fit around the wig once it's on, but I can't make the cord longer to sit over the wig, because the glasses need to go over the headband, and it's a pain in the ass trying to layer everything like that.
So, I have to put the glasses in place first, TAPE the cord to his scalp so they don't move, put on the wig, then put on the headband. It's really such a hassle, but I don't think I can truly convey the annoyance of having to do it all without showing you. So, unless I absolutely have to, I'm never taking any of those things off him again.
I think the last things are the headband, mask, and tablet.
The headband is just a spare scrunchy that I have. I don't have one in the *exact* same color as the real one, so I went with the closest one I had, which was this teal color.
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I didn't feel comfortable repainting one since it's essentially an elastic band, I don't think the paint, even with the textitle medium, would be able to hold up to all the stretching I have to do to even get it on his head.
If I happen to find a white one somewhere in my stash, then I might try dyeing it using water and acrylic paints to see if I can get it green, but for now, I think this works. A little thick, but it works.
The tablet is just a piece of foam painted with paint markers and the mask is a piece of cardboard. I wasn't planning on really recreating any scenes with this doll, but since I remembered that comic, and thought it would be easy enough to make, I went ahead and made it as an in-joke to myself.
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Honestly, I think it's the most charming piece of the entire ensemble. Plus, he can wear it without me having undo/redo any of his other head accessories, so it's easy to make him wear it whenever.
My final comments about the doll itself are that he's fucking huge. I should have taken a pic of him next to Kun3h0, but he is too tall to even fit on my display shelf without sitting.
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(Please ignore any mess you might see in the reflection. This is just one of the only flat pieces of furniture he can stand on without me standing on something to take a pic.)
Despite my interests, I don't actually collect dolls (I'm more into figures and plushies), so I wasn't expecting him to be so big. In fact, Kun3h0, who would be considered a small to medium doll in collector's spaces, was also bigger than I thought she'd be, so you can imagine my surprise when I got my hands on him.
So... I don't really know where I can put him. He obviously can't live in front of my TV, but beyond being too big for my shelf, he also doesn't fit in with any of my other collectibles. And I'll be honest, the contrast of him "clearly not belonging" among my more "kawaii" items was a motivator in starting this project, I live for the gap moe after all, but in practice he really just sticks out like a sore thumb. (This is also why his first pics are in a slightly different location without many props. I just couldn't put together anything from my collection or find a spot among my things to take a good thematic pic with. The magazines/CDs he's with are from my dad's collection.)
I do have space at higher elevations in my room, but it's kinda off putting to have him staring down my room, looking like he's plotting something (my space is too small to ignore it). So I dunno what I'm gonna do with him. I did have plans to make him some... cuter outfits so he wouldn't stick out as much, but that requires sewing, and I'm kinda worn out from this project.
In conclusion, despite my troubles with this project, I'm not entirely displeased with the results. At the very least, it was an experience, and one that I might even be willing to do a third time 👀...?
But for now, I'd like to rest and maybe go back to drawing again. I feel like I haven't drawn anything "real" for a while now. We're inching closer and closer to the next follower milestone (4 digit number BA-BY!), so I'd like to at least get back to being good enough to sketch some stuff for y'all soon~
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beba-780 · 3 months
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The Hero Discount
Summary:
"Little Lloyd had an accident during his training session with Kai, and since the others were on a patrol mission, Kai and Nya took Lloyd to the hospital for treatment, but at that moment Lloyd discovers that the "heroes" of Ninjago They can't get discounts, which seems unfair."
If I'm bad in my English, forgive me XD
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Sensei Wu went out to look for some supplies and Cole, Zane and Jay went out to patrol the city in the Ultrasonic, only Kai, Nya and little Lloyd were left in Dareth's Mojo Dojo, who by the way, quickly went out to pay for some things related to the bills for the repairs to the dojo after the demolition machine destroyed the main wall, fortunately she used Really Ninjago's money for those repairs, in addition, the other ninjas also helped in the construction of it. Today was not a day for lessons with Dareth, so the dojo was free for Lloyd's training.
Nya was on the roof making some modifications to her Mech Samurai X.
Kai was supervising Lloyd's training, but he left him for a second while he went to the bathroom, Kai obviously told him not to jump on the balance bars while returning from the bathroom, Kai was teaching him how to balance on the bars, but while He wasn't there, he ordered Lloyd not to move from his spot while he returned, Kai knew that jumping over the poles was dangerous if there was no one to watch him and catch him in case he fell, and Lloyd was still a child, and he still didn't have much experience staying on one foot while he was on the poles.
But Kai should already learn that Lloyd never listens to what he's told, (just like him), it didn't take long for him to hear a loud, painful noise coming from the training area as soon as he came out of the bathroom. She entered where Lloyd was and the only thing she saw was the boy lying on the ground crying and touching his head while drops of blood fell from the side of his forehead.
It was normal for Kai to be scared when he saw the blood running from the boy's wound, and it seemed to be a big wound as the blood was flowing like a big river. Lloyd didn't seem to have the strength to sit up on his own, luckily Kai rushed to be next to him and help him sit up, Kai took off his Ninja mask and used it to stop the bleeding from the wound as a quick action to stop bleeding.
-Lloyd?! What the hell happened?! – Kai frantically tried to maintain adequate pressure on the wound, but it did not stop bleeding, even some of Lloyd's blood stained the floor and his Green Ninja uniform.
- I-I just wanted to jump towards another pole like you told me... b-but I slipped on the fabric of my pants and hit my head on the side of the other pole... - Lloyd sobbed. While he also tried to put pressure on his head using Kai's mask, but it hurt too much that even he was almost unable to touch the wound on his head.
- God... Lloyd... - Exhaling worriedly, Kai quickly lifted the cloth and took a quick look at the wound, it was still bleeding, a lot, and no doubt the wound would require saturation stitches, unfortunately Kai, nor Nya, had that knowledge, Zane maybe, but he wasn't here and they couldn't waste any more time since this could be bad for Lloyd.
- H-It hurts... - Lloyd moaned, interrupting Kai's thoughts as he let out painful sobs.
Then Kai acted.
- Don't worry, you'll be fine - Kai calmed him down as he wrapped his free hand around Lloyd's waist and lifted him up while continuing to help him keep pressure on the fabric of his head with his other hand. Lloyd also tried to hold the fabric of the mask over his head wound, but doing so made it hurt more, but he still made the effort.
Kai ran up the stairs, kicked open the door, and yelled for Nya to come with him to the hospital so he could take Lloyd. Nya was obviously startled when she saw her brother reach the roof, nearly burning herself with the blowtorch as soon as she heard the knock on the door, but as soon as she saw Lloyd bleeding from the head she quickly demanded an explanation. Kai gave him a brief summary as they walked down the stairs, mentioning that Lloyd fell off the balance beams and hurt his head when he left the training area.
Nya started the motorcycle she had gotten while they were looking for accommodation, and quickly headed towards the Ninjago General Hospital, luckily it was not far from the location of Dareth's dojo, as soon as they arrived they quickly asked the receptionist to attend to Lloyd, a nurse. She guided them to a room where several patients were being treated and assigned them a small room where there was only a stretcher, some vital machines and medical tools, and it had large windows where you could see the medical area.
After the nurse gave them some clean, sterile cloths to cover Lloyd's wound, she told them to wait in the room while she brought in the doctor who would treat them. Waiting patiently as per her instructions, Nya sat with Lloyd on the stretcher and hugged him to give the boy some comfort. Kai was still putting pressure on Lloyd's wound but luckily she wasn't bleeding as much anymore, thanks to the cloths she gave them the nurse.
- Don't worry, green machine, you'll be fine - Kai suddenly mentions to calm the boy who was still sobbing and complaining about the pain in his head.
- But I can barely feel my head, - Lloyd exclaims as he glances at Kai out of the corner of his eye.
- Hey, don't be dramatic, besides this wouldn't have happened if you had listened to me if you didn't jump over the poles without me seeing you - Kai scolded him while changing the cloth on his wound for a new one. Lloyd winced as he felt the new fabric touching his wound.
- I thought I could, I just wanted to impress you that I could do it alone - Lloyd groans as he touches the same place where Kai kept pressure on his wound - But I slipped because of my stupid Green Ninja suit, it's too big for me, and I always trip over that. - Lloyd growls angrily as he winces again as Kai presses the fabric harder.
- We'll have to ask Sensei Wu if it's okay to make some improvements to his suit - Kai mentioned sympathetically as he remembered all the times Lloyd tripped with his Green Ninja suit on, the suit was obviously made for an older person, and the boys, plus Kai, had to roll up the sleeves of their suit and the fabric of their pants, so that Lloyd wasn't dragging the excess fabric all over the floor and could move better.
But just then a doctor arrives in the room, Kai assumed it would be the doctor assigned to them.
- Nice to meet you, Red Ninja and Samurai X, I will be your assigned doctor - the doctor kindly introduced himself to the two brothers.
Kai didn't find it strange that the doctor didn't know their names, after all, the news almost never mentions them by their real names.
- It's good that doctor arrived, this is Lloyd and he hit his head very hard, the wound is deep and that's why we brought him - Kai mentioned while greeting the doctor and pointing to Lloyd who seemed to continue complaining about the pain in his head.
- I see, let me check the wound please - Nya obeyed and got up from the stretcher to be next to Kai while the doctor approached Lloyd, who luckily stayed still, while he lifted the cloth, very carefully, to examine the wound - Yes... -comments the doctor while covering the wound with the cloth again - The wound is deep, but not that serious, but it does require saturation points for it to heal well –
- It's really necessary? – Lloyd asks with a nervous tone since the boy didn't like needles at all. That fear came to light after taking Lloyd to another hospital one day to receive a flu shot.
- If we want the wound to heal, yes - the doctor calmly states as he begins to prepare what is necessary to close Lloyd's wound - But don't worry, I will inject you with an anesthesia that make feel nothing while I close the wound, you will feel something uncomfortable, but at least you won't feel pain as soon as your wound closes –
Lloyd still doesn't seem sure, but at least Nya approached him to reassure him – Don't worry, I'll be here with you while they heal your wound. And I promise you it will be fast –
- You promise? – Lloyd looks at her with hope that she really stays by her side at all times while they close the wound.
- Yes, I promise, - Nya Lloyd said as she gently rubbed her shoulder.
- And you Kai? – Lloyd now turned to the Red Ninja.
- Of course, dwarf –
- In fact, only one person can stay with the child, I'm sorry - the doctor quickly announces in apology when he sees how Lloyd asked the two brothers to stay with him.
Resigned to what the doctor was saying, Kai looked at the boy with sympathy - Don't worry, I won't go far, Nya will stay with you while I stay outside the room, plus someone will have to tell the others about your situation, right? –
Lloyd hummed affirmatively as he looked down, obviously disappointed to know that Kai couldn't stay with him and Nya.
- Easy - Kai playfully touched Lloyd's nose - You're going to be fine -
- Very good, let's begin - the doctor left the utensils next to Lloyd's stretcher and even helped him lie down on the stretcher. Kai had already left the room, but he didn't go far, he sat in what was the waiting room and took out his phone so he could contact the others.
Luckily that didn't take time, Kai knew Zane was the best at taking anyone's call.
- Kai? What's happening? – Zane asked from the other phone line.
- Hello Zane, hey, are you with the others? –
- Sure, why do you ask? –
-Listen, Lloyd got hurt and we had to take him to the hospital – Kai mentioned directly, but then quickly added another answer – But it wasn't serious, seriously, they are treating him now –
- Was Lloyd injured? – Zane sounded alarmed – But what happened? He's fine? –
-Yes, he will be fine, he hurt his head and will receive some stitches, but it was nothing serious, they treated him in time, Nya is with him at the moment. I called you to inform them that we will return to the ship as soon as they finish treating Lloyd -
- Okay - Zane sighs in relief - I'll let the others know about the situation, if they finish soon call us again, okay? –
- Of course - Kai ended the call and sighed deeply as he leaned his head back, clearly today was a long day, Kai hoped that this experience would teach Lloyd to listen to others in the future so as not to do anything reckless new during your training.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
It didn't take long when the doctor left the room and informed Kai about Lloyd's condition. Kai got up from his seat and entered the room and saw that Lloyd was once again sitting on the stretcher while Nya was next to him. Lloyd had a large gauze pad over the area of his wound, but there was also a large bandage surrounding his head. At least the doctor was kind enough to clean even the blood that ran all over Lloyd's face, however, only the Ninja suit was still stained with his blood.
- How do you feel? – Kai asks as she placed her hand on Lloyd's shoulder.
- It doesn't hurt as much anymore, but it does burn a little,- Lloyd stated naturally while touching the area of his wound.
- He was lucky he didn't have a serious concussion, he's a tough kid. You will only need to change the bandages on the necessary days, take some medications, carefully clean the wound and if the stitches come loose, do not hesitate to bring the child back here – the doctor mentions while taking a sheet of paper from his clipboard and give it to Kai. There were written the medical prescriptions that Lloyd would need, the days to change his bandages and the disinfectants that he would need to clean the wound.
- Thank you, doctor – Kai thanks when reading the doctor's sheet in detail.
-You're welcome, the payment will be at the reception, just show them the sheet and they will tell you how much you have to pay - the doctor mentions when putting away some of the things that he used to close Lloyd's wound.
- Hey, wait - Lloyd suddenly responds - Should we really pay? Aren't there hospital discounts for heroes who saved Ninjago multiple times? – Lloyd's tone seemed childish, no one thought that a child like him would think that heroes got big free rewards just for saving the world.
Kai and Nya obviously laughed, Lloyd didn't seem to understand why they were laughing, but he clearly looked very confused.
- Excuse me - Kai mentioned without stopping laughing at Lloyd's comment - You know how children are, I think the blow to the head affected you quite a bit - Shaking Lloyd's head affectionately, Kai helped him get up from the stretcher and hug.
Kai and Nya ended up paying at the reception, which Lloyd didn't like, as soon as they left and went to the dojo, they boarded the Destiny Bounty, Kai informed the others that they were already home and Lloyd stayed in the game room. He stared at the television after Nya handed him her medicine.
- Hey - Kai greeted as he entered the room - How do you feel? – he sat on the couch next to Lloyd so she could give him some company.
- Aren't heroes supposed to pay nothing and receive free things? – Lloyd suddenly asks as he looks askance at Kai.
Sighing, Kai approached Lloyd and put his arm around his shoulders - Lloyd, nothing in this life is free, it sounds silly, but it's true, besides, I know that many children like you believe that just by saving the city, the people  give free stuff to the heroes, we save the city from the Great Devourer, the pirates, the Serpentine, your dad and other things I've even lost count of, and we still pay for the things you need like normal people, right ? We are not trying to live in luxury, but you saw the result of that occasion. –
- Yes, I know - Lloyd responds when remembering what they experienced in the Penthouses of the hotel where they stayed for a while.
- Listen - Kai cleared his throat and looked Lloyd in the eyes - Being a hero doesn't mean that people will give you something in return or you'll receive gifts or get some free benefit, it's about doing the right thing without receiving anything in return, the boys and I don't complain every day about not getting good care from the city, but there will always be people who will remember what you did for them and that will help you in the future. Good actions speak louder than words –
- Okay... - Lloyd accepts resignedly while huffing a little - But I still think that it would be good for you to receive a good discount at the hospital, what happens if one day one of you gets seriously injured? –
-Hey, the people at the hospital know that we did a lot for the city, if something bad were to happen to us, the doctors and nurses would not hesitate to help us, besides, it is part of their job to help people, like us, and little naughty ones like you - Kai playfully ruffled Lloyd's hair and he was disgusted by Kai's movement - Not all heroes get discounts Lloyd –
- Mmm...it's okay, I believe you. I guess you only see that in comics and television –
- Okay, now, do you want some of the ice cream Nya brought? –
Lloyd did not refuse the offer of ice cream, and while he recovered from his head injury, Sensei Wu suspended Lloyd's training sessions until he was completely healed.
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eldritch-spouse · 2 years
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Breg during the heat (rut?) period?
(Or: how to save your life, a manual in headcanon format)
[Aight, let me get the PowerPoint ready.]
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(Minors dni)
TW: Mentions of violence and death, implied dubious consent in multiple sections. Not for the faint of heart.
How to survive Breg's rut!
A barely coherent and tediously lengthy guide by yours truly.
When does it happen?
One every two months babyyyyy. Guaranteed.
You may think that's overkill. And you'd be right! Breg's species, although naturally already considered to be hypersexual, has been genetically engineered overtime via constant artificial hormone tampering, to be even more sexually driven. This was done as a reckless and amoral means to ensure faster procreation of the species stock, by constantly triggering heats in them. What you end up with is not beautiful or easily manageable. This was done without thinking of the consequences, of what would happen if these hybrids one day achieved freedom and mingled with the common crowd- Said crowd being completely unaware of the hypersexualized nature of their newcomers.
If none of this had happened, Breg would have three heat seasons per year tops. Now though? Every two months, he can't escape the inevitable. And he never will until he ceases to be fertile, or experiments with unstable treatments.
How long does it last?
One week. Two at most.
The only good things about these frequent episodes is that they are thankfully not that long. In fact, they're much shorter than the near month-long frenzies his kind endured naturally.
However, the problem here is that it's not nearly as smooth as it should be. Because, you see, heat is already a stressful state to be in, where a lot of bodily modifications take place. Now, what happens if you take these changes that are supposed to happen roughly in the time period of a month, and you stuff them all in a week's schedule? Calamity at its finest. This is why sometimes it may last a little bit more than anticipated, it's a little irregular, given how crazy it gets in Breg's organism.
What are some signs heat is close?
It starts subtly. Pay attention to his priorities. Breg will start dedicating a lot more of his time taking stock of the food you have at home, and likely bugging you to go get more with him. He's going to start eating in stupid proportions. Now, Breg can have a bit of an appetite, but never in this scandalous way. He's shoveling shit down that gullet until he stuffs himself. Think of a bear preparing for hibernation, but the bear is a procrastinator and has to do all that work in like one day. Problem is, since Breg eats way too much, he depletes the supply of food he's working so hard to maintain, hence a cycle is generated. He also hydrates excessively. Now, Breg is doing this as a way to prepare his body, and it's not really a conscious choice- It's impulse, pure impulse. Not only is this "preface" period used to store up energy in his body, it's also very effective in clearing out any sicknesses in the organism.
When heat is close, Breg is relatively easy to deal with. He's low-energy all the time, going as far as to spend almost entire days sleeping. It's only natural, as his body changes to accommodate what's coming. He wakes up only to eat and take care of his other basic needs. The moments where he is actually fully awake are rare and he downright refuses to leave the house or do anything that requires too much focus/strain. Faced with these rather innocuous symptoms, akin to a common sickness really, one might make the mistake of assuming the rest of Breg's rut will be similar. You couldn't be more wrong...
Because honey, from this point on, shit spins 180 degrees in the blink of an eye.
Do they come to you when they know heat is starting?
Only to warn you. He has to. It'd be very cruel of him to not explain to you the absolute madness shit will escalate to. It's a bit hard to take Breg seriously when he's too tired to speak without slurring his words or falling asleep in the middle of a sentence- But I stress that you should pay close attention to everything he says, because he'll give you handy advice on how to make it through his heat mostly unscathed. You should listen, because he's not fucking around. And even though Breg will hesitate to tell you this directly, you are in danger, possibly.
And no, you can't simply distance yourself during this time. Breg would have done that himself if he could. Since the connection has already been formed in his brain that you're his mate, the moment Breg starts going into heat, he will inevitably seek to secure you by his side. He'll hunt you down if he has to, and it's not pretty. You're lucky he's not too ravenously sexual during this preface period. Breg will mostly just insistently make sure you're somewhere in his vicinity, the need to mate comes later.
Does it start suddenly or is it gradual?
Physical changes are gradual, but mood alterations happen basically overnight.
Granted, it could be a lot worse. It starts slow, but consistently picks up the pace from the first day on. What you'll notice right off the bat is the drastic change in Breg's demeanor, which without going into too much detail, flips one eighty degrees. Usually, Breg is a very mellow if not mildly timid monster, and sexually speaking, he is not very domineering either. These traits will vanish as soon as the first day of heat begins, and you'll be faced with a far cry from the breeder you know. This brand new and very much dangerous bravado of his will last for the remaining heat and I suggest you learn how to best deal with it. For your safety.
The more gradual aspect of his rut is the physical one. In fact, while some are blatant, you'll need sharper eyes to see some of the other ones. What you should be concerned with the most at this time is the way Breg's metabolism speeds the fuck up like he's on crack. This is why he's constantly eating and hydrating, it takes a lot for him to keep up with such a maddening, unnaturally exacerbated metabolism. If Breg slacks off too much, he can very well die. He's aware of this because he has seen other males perish from self-neglect during heats. This knowledge only serves to keep Breg more agitated and volatile than he already is, hence more dangerous and less merciful.
Perhaps if his species wasn't as forcefully tampered with as it was, and continues to be, heats would be much easier on their bodies. As of now however, you need to understand that it's a very serious ordeal with a lot of risks and insurmountable discomfort.
Constant need or waves of desperation?
Though there's always a pretty strong buzz of arousal, what you really gotta watch out for are the waves of pure impulse that sort of make Breg jerk to life.
Breg will be in constant need the entire event. His slit will leak for almost concerning amounts of uninterrupted time and he's likely to stay erect for borderline painful periods as well. This obviously causes extreme levels of desperation and Breg will accordingly seek any available methods of relief. However, you're not always being hounded for sex, because this need sometimes takes the background to other instincts, thankfully. Breg will often cease trying to get off in order to consume things, groom himself, posture, arrange the "nest" and inspect random stimulus that sets him off (such as loud unknown noises, which will make him defensive).
Every once in a while, Breg will experience sharp jolts of feverish need. These translate in almost humorous views, such as Breg springing upright and pacing because of excessive body heat. You'll know one of these episodes is starting because he usually chirps or groans at the top of his lungs. He is absolutely uncontrollable in this state and will hunt you down for immediate relief. These are the times where you really must not come off as challenging, Breg needs to feel in control and be under the assumption that you are completely submissive. Otherwise, he'll fuck you far more harshly in an attempt to assert dominance. You cannot hide nor fight your way out of the encounter.
Essentially, you could say Breg experiences both. Which should serve to keep you in the very tip of your toes around him.
Can heat be purposely triggered?
Triggering a heat purposely is possible, but extremely ill-advised.
The only way you can do so is through either artificial hormone injections that jumpstart the process or inducing extreme amounts of stress in him. Obviously, you don't have access to the hormonal concoctions which are given to males at the "facility". If Breg ever notices that you are intentionally inducing stress in him via attempts to enrage or put him in danger, just to trigger a heat from him, he'll be extremely confused. He'll begin having sex with you more often under the assumption that you're just too prideful to admit you want it more frequently, but if you insist, Breg will eventually tell you to knock if off because you have no idea what you're messing with. And he's right, there's no benefit to be gained from forcing a heat.
Natural pseudo-heats can be triggered, if Breg somehow enters a deep panic. This doesn't necessarily mean he'll want to fuck something right off the bat. Say he's in near mortal danger because of a threat, he'll enter a primal level of aggression that'll take time and effort to come down from. Meaning he'll be feral for a good while, and feral males of his species are notoriously sexually aggressive. These periods do not last more than a couple hours and are not nearly as intense and complex as the real deal.
If you work for it hard enough, you can sort of Pavlov Breg into entering sudden quasi-heats on command without much if any external stimulus. Breg will not be one bit happy about the situation though.
What is their general mood?
Temperamental is putting it lightly.
To reiterate, Breg is usually a kind monster at heart and generally being with you puts him in stellar moods, but- You can kiss that sunshine version of him goodbye as soon as heat kicks in, because Breg will turn into one mean motherfucker. Very very very on edge the entire time, super paranoid, way too irritable. Not only is this the product of his aggressively-coded lineage, it's also the culmination of being stuck with other equally aggressive males during ruts, which caused Breg to be in near constant stress and have to fight for his life frequently. This demeanor of his only gets more intense now that he's secured a mate (you), he spends every second just waiting for someone to intrude and challenge him.
You can't snap him out of this mood, and he'll only relax if you do exactly as he wishes. In general, the most you can do to decrease his high stress levels is make sure no one enters the house, stay as close to him as possible even if it seems like he's fuming, and make sure there's always something to eat readily available or he's gonna start hunting. And lord knows what dead thing he'll drag home if left to his own vices...
Submissive or dominant demeanor?
Dominant from beginning to end.
There's no room for negotiation here. As soon as it starts, Breg is on top of everything and you are not, under any circumstances, to challenge his position. Things as subtle as raising your voice to a certain threshold or waving an arm too high will rise aggressive reactions out of Breg, which can range from growled reprimands to full on incapacitation. Do not toy with him, your best shot here is to be pliant, quiet and slow. Don't move too fast, don't scream, never ignore him or his commands.
If you follow those simple rules, everything should be fine here. There's no reason for you to be terrified of Breg, even if he ultimately does become more of an intimidating presence. He's not sadistic and can occasionally relax fully around you. If he notices that you're extremely nervous or afraid of him, Breg will actually curl around you and trill, maybe even shrink in himself a little to seem less threatening.
That being said, sex is no exception. He's on top, he's in charge. This is good in a way, it means he does most of the work and positioning, which you'll be very thankful for when you can no longer move your numb limbs. Any attempts from your part at starting intimacy, even if done in a very submissive manner, will likely be rejected. Breg is not brutal, but he can overlook some of your limits, during which you should either cry or whimper, those responses will always get his attention amidst the concoction of hormones.
Any physical changes?
Not many, and the ones that take place aren't very noticeable. Aside from the blatant change in pigmentation that is, he switches from the white form to the black form in day one.
In spite of how much he consumes and the mess of hormones in his accelerated metabolism, Breg does not exactly "bulk up" during heat. His overall look remains vastly the same. The changes here are dispersed in the details. There will be a large increase in bodily secretions, especially saliva but also sweat- Breg is constantly sweaty yet jarringly cold to the touch (excluding the excessive body heat episodes). His claws gain a negligible length augmentation, his slit is almost always somewhat puffed and slick with lubrication.
What's more interesting here is the noticeable boost in sensory experiences. Breg sees much more sharply, he hears things you can't detect- Which oftentimes leads to him freaking out over seemingly nothing to you. His scenting ability goes through the roof and he is a lot more temperature sensitive than before. Breg is always left feeling cold in this state, so he will hog you for warmth 24/7, which is gross because he's gonna sweat a storm on you. Under the instinctual assumption that you are also freezing, he'll drown you in blankets and trap you in a boiling inferno inside the nest. Which is not a good time if this is happening during Summer.
Any substantial changes in stamina/spent/etc…?
This is basically where most of the physical changes manifest.
First and foremost, Breg is supremely sensitive around this time, any light embrace can make his focus fizzle to nothing. This makes touching him at all a risky act because his arousal will inevitably skyrocket the longer you maintain contact. Nonetheless, play your cards right and Breg will melt. When in angered states, his resistance to pain triples and he does not feel most injuries.
With his accelerated metabolism essentially in emergency mode, Breg will sport a whole lot more stamina than usual, which is really bad news for you because he already outlasts you by a landslide. However, this comes in short bursts, meaning he will collapse after climax and not have enough composure to pull that stunt again for a good while. To combat this, Breg sometimes spends hours having the laziest fucks ever.
You will understand another reason why he eats and hydrates constantly when you feel the ludicrous amount of jizz he pumps inside you. There is no way in Hell a single shot can fit in you. It's just too much, his ejaculation prevails long after Breg's orgasmic high starts to fade, your womb will swell and the rest will make a horrid mess. Breg will actually get frustrated that your body cannot handle the amount of spent he offers, regardless of how much time he wastes trying to keep your legs up or fingering his cum back in.
Do they exhibit impulsive courting behavior?
Posturing is a big part of it, yes.
One of the first things he does is make a nest. This is almost always stationed in your bedroom but occasionally the bathroom as well for some reason. Breg takes every piece of clothing, blankets and pillows he can find, wrangling them in chaotic but somehow still orderly ways to establish said nest. Do not tamper with it until he's done. Any attempt to remove things will not end well for you. After he's done constructing this mess of fabrics and has rolled around in it like a fucking mutt- He'll be hellbent on showing it to you. Because the nest is not for his comfort, it's to impress you into wanting to mate him. I suggest you don't antagonize him much and at least pretend you're awed by his efforts. Breg will continue to perfect it along time, though if you appear reluctant to enter it, he'll steal items he knows you make heavy use of and put them in the nest as a trap.
Aside from that, Breg postures a lot in mostly three ways: One, he will rapidly flicker his skin pigmentation between black and white at you, it's actually a fascinating sight; Two, while he also typically puffs up a little, he's more likely to display his flexibility and height by either stretching out to his full length or curling into a contortionist's wet dream. Again, horrifying but interesting; Three, Breg will emit occasional low trills or either sharp high-pitched chirps- Do not call him a parakeet, he'll throw a tantrum.
Aside from these, he will occasionally dump you in the nest with him and bring various food items, which would be kind of mundane, until he starts touching you while you eat that is. It's a very primitive trick used by males whose females tend to be feisty during heat, distract them with food so that you don't end up mince meat. It's hilarious because you could never put a dent in Breg yet he still instinctively plays it safe.
Bizarre mannerisms?
I hope you're ready to be trapped in a makeshift nest with him, inside a room that's hotter than a sauna. You're not allowed to leave it until he says so. Seriously, he'll consecutively hunt you down if he notices you escaped the perimeter. His entire posturing methods are obviously bizarre to you, given the species barrier makes it hard for you to properly interpret what Breg is signaling.
Mimicry is also to be expected at the very peak of his rut. You see, at a certain point, Breg's brain is just going to be too mushy to prioritize standard social activity and verbalizing will be swiftly nulled. He won't understand much of what you say and he won't be able to answer you. To properly get a message through, you'll have to rely on facial expressions and universal gestures. Breg will pay a lot more attention to the tone of your voice rather than the words themselves. The reason he starts poorly mimicking your speech is to let you know he's always ready to interact with you. Avoid prolonging it or he will assume you want attention. It's kind of funny, because Breg cannot control this at all and you can make him repeat the silliest shit ever. Sometimes speaking excessively will make him nervous, since he can't comprehend what you want, and Breg will start looking for things to shut you up, primarily food.
How conscious/in control are they?
They are fully conscious of what's happening but have very little control over anything. Breg did warn you about all this. It is also a warning not to get too cheeky, because Breg will remember a lot of what went down during his rut, and he'll be able to interpret things you did better.
Self-control is a very fleeting privilege here, Breg may hold himself back in the first day, but he soon becomes a slave to his own lower-brain whims. In a sense, some concepts remain during this time, but only things he has drilled into his own brain over time. For example, Breg more often than not does not attempt to stuff both his members in your body because he has internalized the notion that you are often incapable of welcoming the two without thorough preparation. This does not mean he won't try it at later stages, when he's barely aware of himself. By the time he stops vocalizing properly, you should assume Breg is unable to measure himself at any capacity- And while he is conscious, you are essentially dealing with a stunted shell of a person relying mostly on archaic instincts.
Are there pheromones to encourage potential mates?
Yes. Do they have any effect in you? Nah. But you can still smell the oddly heavy odor they release. In fact, Breg smells fucking awful around this time. It's not like he's been rolling in mud, but the excessive sweating of his crack-speed metabolism creates this suffocating male musk that will absolutely root itself in your home in a matter of days.
Regardless of it affecting you or not, in heat, Breg will still seek to cover you in this scent. It works as a claim of sorts, and it would also elicit some arousal from you if you were one of his kind. Rest assured that the "nest" he fabricated will also be soaked in that smell. Fair warning here, Breg doesn't groom himself enough in this state, so hygiene may become a problem. He will not accept baths and expresses clear distaste when you bathe as well. The only way he'll accept any cleaning is if you do it (be warned, he'll try to get you to lick him) or if you keep him stimulated.
Keep in mind that carrying someone else's smell on you in any way whatsoever is a big no-no during ruts. Breg will get inordinately upset, especially if that someone happens to be male. He'll be very volatile and start pursuing this person after ensuring you are trapped in the nest. Other than that, know that Breg will do disgusting things like rub his cum into your skin or lather you in drool- He encourages you to do the same to him but it's not recommended because it gets him really horny and thus perpetuates the cycle. Fun fact, this type of thing riles him up outside of heat as well.
How demanding is their rut?
Hahahah, you poor thing...
Breg's libido is already a handful to deal with outside of heat episodes, this is basically cranking the notch so far up that it breaks off entirely. Your poor holes don't stand a chance, unless you are clever enough to distract him with less invasive methods. But to be fair, after being with Breg for a while, you'll develop strategies to deal with hypersexuality- This won't be news to you. What is actually demanding here is his shift in attitude. You need to adapt, and fast. Being constantly on your toes is not an easy feat, and Breg's volatile state implies you need to be ready to shift gears at any moment. Dealing with this pussy-drunk horndog and his ritualistic drives will demand a lot of patience, understanding and cleverness from your part. The first heat is obviously going to be the most challenging.
This process is also very taxing on Breg, as you can imagine. He always becomes exhausted whenever a rut is over, his body takes a day or two to fully normalize after such brutal metabolic changes take place. Breg can potentially walk out of this process malnourished or wounded in ways he was not aware of during the rut. To say he dreads it almost as much as you do is an understatement. He's also terribly scared of hurting you in some form or another, or that perhaps his beastly demeanor will make you fear him from then on.
The rut is demanding in a lot of ways, not just Breg's constant helpless search for bodily relief.
How uncomfortable/painful is the experience?
Really depends on how clever you are about it, but there's still a pretty big possibility you'll get physically KOd eitherway. Uncomfortable is a given, soreness and numbness are two things you'll get very familiar with early on, though Breg will occasionally display enough awareness to seek less straining positions or be much slower than desired to avoid further inconveniencing you.
Pain... Well, there will always be a little bit of pain here. Though his slit lubricates excessively, Breg may sometimes attempt to penetrate you much too suddenly. Or he may grip too tight. Biting is common. The pain of climaxing repeatedly is also something to expect at certain points- Even Breg suffers from that one. However, depending entirely on your attitude, there may be even more pain added to the mix. Blatant rejections or attempts to antagonize the breeder will result in the use of force to keep you pliant. And though the objective here is not to maim you, Breg's lackluster self-control might very well end up inflicting injury on your person.
I would say that Breg is ten times more uncomfortable and pained than you though. His body is constantly overheated yet cold, he has to deal with persistent erections that almost make him lightheaded, he's always starving and smelly and sweaty and thinking is out of the question.
How dangerous are they in this state?
Very. There are some pretty serious risks here, including getting your limbs broken or maybe even being fucked to death. Granted, you need to be intentionally cruel to end up dying from this.
It's worth noting that although you will always be in a certain degree of danger, taking things carefully and canceling plans to stay home with Breg will reduce a significant portion of that risk. It's all about timing really, for it to go swimmingly, you'll need to plan weeks ahead.
Here are some tips though: whenever possible, avoid penetration of any sort. When Breg seems dazed by pleasure, try to leverage things in a way where you end up on top for more control over the situation. If possible, remove any slack grip from your body, so as to avoid Breg unintentionally crushing anything. Do not be afraid to use spit to your advantage here, there will be times where natural lubrication is simply not enough.
Most importantly, make sure people don't wander their way inside your home. That's a death sentence to whoever dared go inside, Breg will kill them if given the chance to and distracting him is not worth the risk, lest you confuse his muddled brain and he ends up mauling you instead. He will also be very agitated after the encounter and likely be very rough with you out of possessiveness or jealousy. It's something you should avoid at all costs. If it makes you feel better, Breg is always more dangerous to others than he is to you...
How well can they handle it on their own?
Not well. Understatement of the century, feral doesn't do it justice either. Right now, it's impossible to make him deal with his own heats since Breg will pursue you whenever he's separated from his mate. Nothing can stop him in this state.
Before he met you and subsequently became infatuated with you, Breg experienced heavily monitored ruts inside the facility. These were Hell, he was never allowed contact with any females due to his aggressive nature and spent most of his time surrounded by sterilized walls, strapped to relentless machines where he's drained to a horrid, swollen, numb state. He got neither his physical nor emotional needs met during such a vulnerable time and spent the following days a hollowed out shell of himself. It's safe to say Breg does not want, under any circumstances, a repeat of that torturous treatment. Even if you're being a brat about it the entire time, the heats he spends with you are ten times more normal and satisfactory than the shitshows he endured inside the facility. Knowing the desolate Hell Breg used to live in, it's easy to see how just being in your presence sends him into states of euphoria.
If Breg were not the product of selective breeding and genetic manipulation, withstanding heats on his own would not be nearly as stressful and harrowing as it is. During the first day or so he attempts to stay a certain distance from you. If you hear him scream or banging his head against something, know that's just Breg trying to control himself for your sake.
Do they tend to isolate themselves or prefer to roam?
Isolation. The only way they're willing to burn energy is through fucking your brains out.
Breg plays it very fucking safe. There is no reason to roam whatsoever unless he senses intruders nearby. Besides, he's absolutely unwilling to leave you out of his sight for more than five minutes in total. Yes, he does get antsy from being in one spot for too long, but he refuses to leave the place he nested in. You can try to drag him out, won't happen. Attempt to leave the house yourself and Breg will rope you back inside faster than you can blink. No roaming. Just no. There are other, much more productive, ways to burn excess energy. Isolation and quiet ensures there's way less possibility of anyone noticing the two of you, Breg is expending way too much fucking energy just being alive right now- His body's in emergency mode, he's always hungry, always stupid with lust, that is no condition to pick fights in. Even if he wins (which he most likely would), the damage of putting even more stress on an already overworked organism will leave its mark.
Roaming in itself would tire Breg out too much, aside from making him stand out like a sore thumb that is. In his mind, if someone comes after him when he's in heat, Breg assumes said monster/human will likely be coming for you next. He's very insistent that you stay put in one very specific space, that you stay quiet during nights and never, ever leave his sight. You'll notice he has a lot of ways to mask your presence, rubbing his smell off on you isn't just a claim, it's also a form of suffocating whatever odor you emit.
How do they handle you?
Again, depends on what you signal.
Though it'll never quite be a dignified affair, Breg has the potential to be gentle if you tread lightly with him. An attentive person will easily figure out the mannerisms that seem to pacify Breg the most. A scaredy-cat prone to outbursts will have to smarten up if they wish to make it out intact.
In this state, Breg treats you like a very exotic sort of animal that's fragile yet dangerous and must be supervised at all times because someone'll take it from him if he's not looking. If it weren't for his ceaseless need to be stuffing you in some manner or another and his sluggish thought process, some parts of his rut could almost be considered pleasant. Who doesn't like laying around a huge pile of soft fabrics, just eating and cuddling up to their partner?
If you prove to be docile in his mind, you'll be in for a lot of gentle lazy fucking, sweet nuzzling and honestly lots of sleeping in between. If you're a handful, you'll get fucked apart left and right, trapped suffocatingly against him and only know sleep when you pass out from excessive sex. He's going to be very upset with himself if things went wrong, but he did warn you what could happen.
Are markings of any sort involved?
Yes, and it's fucking gross. Get ready.
First and foremost, you have the aforementioned scent marking, where this sweaty fucker just rubs and ruts himself at whatever inch of your skin he can find. Don't worry, you'll eventually become nose-blind to Breg's musk. I wouldn't bother to shower very often during this period, because he'll consistently mark you and be quite upset to find the smell of body wash on you as opposed to his own.
Much in the same vein, Breg is prone to licking you up and down. It's guaranteed he'll do this both during sex and whenever you lie down with him. Just try not to let him get drool on your hair. He will try to get you to lick him back, it's sort of like grooming but he does not taste good at all. Be warned, he's also a biter, they're usually just chaste nibbles, but he will occasionally decorate certain sections of you with bleeding bite marks. The less you struggle, the softer he is. If you try to bite him back, he'll put you in your place but also fuck you stupid because it still turns him on.
Is there a way to calm them down without intimacy?
Nope. Put out, one way or another.
I'm not sure what you were expecting, he's hypersexual. The most you can do to calm him down during this state is feed him by hand and take naps with him in the nest. Both of these have a wild potential to backfire since he's very easily aroused. That's not to say you can't cheapskate your way through many encounters. Sometimes he will settle for hands without much of a fuss, the warmth of your thighs also makes for a good fucktoy. Breg does have a fondness for your mouth and will let you suck your way out of penetrative sex often, that's not to say he'll be very gentle on your poor throat. Ultimately though, you have to spread your legs regularly. Breg will plug your pussy for hours on end if you let him, though he occasionally expresses a bit of incoherent discomfort about having his second cock not stimulated. Again, keep him busy or he'll try to squeeze both inside in a lustful stupor.
Sex toys are of no interest to Breg during heat, unless they smell heavily of you. And even then, it's more of a compulsory act to fuck with them than anything else. Breg knows they're not you, but certain parts of his base brain demand he claim them either way. Other than that, he won't touch them at all. You can use them during sex with him, but he won't care or react much. You should probably get lube though, I'd go as far as to say that's a priority here.
Is it possible to restrain or subdue them completely?
Don't get any ideas, it'll blow up in your face.
Breg is keenly aware of your attitude during heat, as I've told you. He does not tolerate any challenge whatsoever and is not likely to let his guard down long enough for you to try anything. If he senses you're tense or vaguely hostile, Breg will quickly deploy methods to fatigue you too much to do a single thing. Namely intimidation and constant dickings in positions that strain your muscles.
Restraining Breg is also not an option, he still sees it as a challenge or ill-intent from your part, which means he can panic and hurt you gravely as punishment. The only way you can achieve this is if you ask Breg to chain himself somewhere before heat starts. However, this makes him very volatile and infuriated during heat, it's also torturous and implies a lot of maintenance from your part. You'll have to be attentive, since verbal communication will be off the table at a certain point. If he makes it out, he'll immediately pound you in two and proceed to clumsily build a nest. Then pound you again.
Once in their grasp, can you feasibly escape?
Yeah, eventually. Will you pay for it dearly and cry for mommy when it comes back to bite you in the ass? Also yes.
Escaping is like the cardinal sin you can make when Breg is in heat. It's like a total rejection of him as a mate. Not only will that deeply wound Breg's self-worth, he's in such an emotionally volatile state that he's going to be very vindictive when he inevitably fishes your ass back home. In his mind, either he hasn't postured well enough or he's not meeting your physical needs. You should absolutely never let him think this way, because his solution will be to pester you more thoroughly and fuck you with brutal amounts of intensity.
Escape is temporary and pointless. Trying such will only succeed in making Breg livid and complicating an already very complex and dangerous situation. It's also very hard to do so in the first place given how alert Breg always is and how the two of you are confined within the bedroom for the most part. You'll have to hope Breg collapses for some reason or another, these episodes are rare and short, make full use of them if you wish to flee for whatever reason. Even if you made it out, no one in the right mind would help a breeder's escaped mate, it's a death sentence to even breathe in the same vicinity as you. There is no help.
How do they react to strangers or threats?
Immediate aggression. If he can't kill it, he'll flee with you over his shoulder to only God knows where.
Again, due to their constant modification and selective breeding, only the meanest and most cruel of the kind get perpetuated. Breeders are notoriously and helplessly vicious to any perceived competition, not to mention paranoid during heat. Even just a male being anywhere near you will cause him to throw a massive, violent tantrum. If the perceived opponent happens to be considered frail in the monster's eyes, like most humans, Breg will take the opportunity to merely corral you against himself, cover your neck with a hand, clutch your waist with the other and hiss at them with his jaw fully unhinged. That should be enough to send anyone sprinting away.
If they happen to be a little bigger than usual or a monster, Breg will instantly throw himself at them like a charging bull. Fair warning, he won't stop until either he kills the competition or they somehow manage to leave his sight. Most of the time, they have no alternative but to meet a gruesome end, not even the most pathetic of surrenders will halt his fury.
If Breg meets an opponent he cannot feasibly kill, he'll make a very hasty retreat with you in his arms. This is horrific, because you have no idea where he will choose to hide the two of you away and making it back home is basically impossible until his heat ends. Even then, there's a good chance Breg will not even remember how he got there in the first place. Very awful and risky situation, needless to say.
That's all folks!
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bluegekk0 · 6 months
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Kinda an ask but not really.
So I imagine when Grimm and FPK are being lovey dovey and exploring eachothers body, kinda praising eachothers body but not necessarily in a sexual way(I know there is a term for it but I can't remember it.)
Anyways FPK is looking around Grimm's body and realizes he is missing some marks that FPK are used to seeing, and is slightly upset with it.
I can't remember if you answered this but I think sometimes "mutations" or inconsistency happen to Grimm's body every time he does though the ritual. Like for an example his fingers are sometimes shorter than usual, there are some spots of discoloration on his chitin, or that some spots of fluff are just missing. I would like to think that FPK likes some of these imperfections and then suddenly they are gone once the Grimm's body realizes there are abnormalities with the body(similar to how human bodies attack small cancer cells before they could really be anything)
oh that's an interesting idea to think about. i'm not sure if mutations would be the correct terms, they're more like slip ups. granted, they don't happen very often, i imagine nkg has a certain "template" for the physical body, that only gets changed if he wants to make any alterations. but if the nightmare heart was weakened for whatever reason (such as when the previous body burns down on its own, wasting all of the nightmare flame in it), then i could see those imperfections being more common
so with that said, the body is usually as perfect as it can get, so i don't think fpk would be used to seeing any of those "slip ups". however, i do like the idea that he ended up liking some of the ones he noticed, which prompted grimm to keep them. perhaps one time the body had longer fluff on the neck, which fpk liked so much that grimm kept it for each next one. sometimes those changes don't originate from imperfections. for example, i have a small headcanon about his torso shape, inspired by the changes to his design that happened over time. since he was the one who was carrying the egg, it required some modifications to his body. wider hips were one of them, i think it makes sense why. but i love the idea that he liked them so much that he kept them afterwards, and i know for a fact that fpk was a huge fan hahahaha
also, i may be misinterpreting the last part of your ask, but just to clarify. the body can't really change once it's "spawned" into the physical realm. of course, he can always trim the fur, or gain wounds or whatever else, but those are external factors. the body itself stays the same until the next ritual, which can be rushed if there is a need (let's say, for example, he receives a wound that makes it very difficult for him to function), but grimm usually tries to deal with it in other ways. he doesn't want to weaken the nightmare heart too much, since it directly affects all of his forms, and spawning the body consumes a lot of energy
one imperfection he can't do anything about is his weak heart, i like to think it's directly connected to the weakened state of the nightmare heart. while his organs tend to be on the more organic side and so work as you'd expect, he's still not completely "natural". and i like the idea of his heart being the weird one in his system, like a miniature version of the nightmare heart in his chest, that powers the body like a battery. it keeps the flame going, but it also pumps blood to the rest of the body, and unfortunately it can't really keep up when it has to do both of those things. i know it's big stretch, but i think it would be interesting if that was the reason why he drinks blood. maybe his body is able to absorb the consumed blood, which allows him to keep it going for a longer time before the heart starts giving up
i do like the implications of this kind of condition. his voice is very weak and sickly in canon, and while in the au that only happens once the body starts degrading, perhaps he still has to deal with a cough. maybe he occasionally gets a shortness of breath, especially after intense activity. obviously he's a god so it wouldn't be as impactful to him as it would to a mortal, but i like to think that his banishment had an effect on him even outside of the nightmare realm. and considering his heart needs to do both jobs, it's sadly something he can't fix
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Things I would have "modified" if I were an IPKKND writer. (Not change it but modify it) part - 1
IPKKND is one of the finest tv shows written. It was beautifully directed, thoughtfully written and had the best cast. It was like all the stars were alligned in a perfect constellation for this show, but still it could do better. Here, are some things I would have modified in order to make more sense of the scenarios.
Made khushi an actual model to land in Arnav's arms.
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Now, people might be wondering that it's too far fetched and will change the story overall. No, It won't. But how?
My version: Khushi actually had a small modelling gig in sheesh mehal that day, the plan was simple, completing her gig during the day and attend payal's wedding by the night. Sheesh mehal was near Abhishek's house so she carried the file with herself. She was dressed in traditional attire, with hint of green, pink and RED, trying to find her way out of the hotel (Now, turned into a raizada asset) suddenly, she was pushed to the ramp by the designer because, she definitely looked like a model as she wore flashy lehenga (Sanaya is tall and slender). And what happens afterwards we all know. Arnav's suspicions will only get strong because, Khushi was actually a freelancing model.
This slight modification, would have helped the story further for Khushi getting forced to shoot as a replacement for Lisa and Mrs. India track.
Afterall, Arnav was not foolish enough to assign a modeling task to a random girl who knows nothing about shoots.
*khushi was a model with reservations Ethnic wear only.
2. Given Khushi an actual Job in Delhi
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i am sorry, but being a 15 day employee and a Bahu maker isn't an actual job.
My version : Khushi, because she is a freelancing model will find it difficult to get a modeling assignment in a new location like Delhi. She can't shoot for short clothes or lingerie so she tried to get a job. So, she applied for an opening in AR office. She met Arnav, it became a Chaos and she took the 15 days challenge and left when Arnav crossed all limits. After she quit she found some modelling gigs for sarees and suits. Anjali came one day and told Khushi to groom Lavanya. She would train her from 9-3 pm and would find her modeling gigs after. Delhi had more work prospects.
3. No, Arnav did not Give meaningless tasks to Khushi. Also, extend office track
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My version: Arnav actually gave Khushi the sort of work he would give to an Officeboy or a Clerk. He would challenge her with tasks that require English proficiency and quantitative aptitude with logical reasoning. Anything that can be done by an educated person. Maybe he would take her with him as a PA for a day (just to test her nerves) or overwork her.
This actually has a lot of scope because, Khushi didn't have a fixed position in the office. He could tell her to study some graphs, prepare a report merely by looking at some data, collecting some file from another AR office or becoming his PA for a day.
*note: I loved that dictation that Arnav gave to khushi. I was expecting something similar to that. Also, I don't mind that Rainy parking duty.
4. Endorsed AR designs more in the show.
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my version : The show never really highlighted this brand. They could have shown that Arnav wears clothes by AR designs or he got some exclusive item of AR designs as gift for Mami Ji. It would have been interesting if we could get to see another ramp show by AR designs or seen Arnav giving a party or organising an event by AR designs for business purposes. Arnav looking at designs, his understanding of fabrics, cultural attires and fashion sense could have been highlighted. Like @jalebi-weds-bluetooth said, Lavanya could have worn AR designs rather than Motilal dresswala. C'mon. It would have reduced the costing of setting up another location for Motilal honestly, just the office would have done.
5. Khushi could give some words of wisdom to Raizada household when they tried to Change Lavanya.
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My version: Khushi wouldn't immediately try to train Lavanya, rather assessing the situation she realised that neither ASR nor La had intensions of getting married. Khushi could have told Nani ji or Anjali that they should not force anything on Lavanya.
Dialogues:
"Maaf kijiyega Nani ji, chhota muh Badi baat keh rhe hai, lekin hum ko lagta hai ki, jab lavanya ji or wo laad gav....maaf kijiye, ASR agar shadi hi nhi Karna Chahte, to Hum Lavanya ji ko bhi kyu aise badalne ko keh rhe hai?"
"Lavanya ji ki parvarish aisi nhi Hui hai ki unko Ghar ke chhote mote kaam krne ki zarurat pade, or aisi hi Lavanya kashyap se ASR pyar krte hai"
"Hum Lavanya ji ko badal bhi de agar, par kya ASR apne aap ko badlenge? Or nahi badal skte to lavanya ji ke saath Aisa kyu ho rha hai?"
After hearing such things Nani ji and anjali actually positively motivate lavanya to consider marriage and when Lavanya finally understands, Khushi comes into play. Not trying to teach Lavanya kashyap how to cook, but rather, how to have a Classy behaviour in a joint family and how to carry herself gracefully in traditional way. Something or two about religion and Cooking and stuff shall come later.
6. No, Khushi didn't hit her head in Arnav's car and no, Arnav definitely did not think about Driving from Delhi to Nainital.
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Delhi to Nainital is too long of a journey to drive. It makes no sense especially when Arnav is driving on his own.
Mr version: Arnav would drive to a nearby location, like Chandigarh or Ambala. How can we possibly take khushi with Arnav alone? We won't. Rather because, Khushi took out some air from from his car tire, he couldn't travel too far but, almost 4 hours far. Lavanya was bearing the consequences of her spa and didn't go with Arnav, Khushi heard Anjali talking to Arnav who said:
"Di I can't believe it, but I have a bloody flat tyre"
"Now, I am stuck at this and that location"
Khushi feeling guilty for her activities Will go with driver Mohan. Upon meeting Arnav, she would make some excuse for why she came. While heading back, the auto strike goes worse and a riot breaks out, immediate orders are passed by govt. And article 144 is imposed. Jamming the way. Mohan, Khushi and Arnav are stuck. Then rest of the story can be continued from Dhaba location.
But, how would khushi change her clothes into lehenga? She Don't have to do that. There are tons of other reasons for Khushi to be attacked by goons. To make Arnav stay at Dhaba, she can pretend to be his wife.
*note: Taking out petrol from the car is too difficult, one can do that in a bike not cars. Arnav, didn't carry a stepney. It would have been so funny if Khushi would have said "aap bina stepney k gaadi chalate hai?" "Hum araam se apka tyre badal dete"
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bleachbleachbleach · 1 year
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I hope this doesn't come off as rude or weird, and you are doing well! I'm dipping my toes into Bleach fanfiction and I have a question that might be more world-building-ish. We know there are prosthetics in Seiretei; do you think there are other assistive technologies (e.g. hearing aids) there? I mean, Mayuri seems to have...misplaced his ears and given himself a set of prosthetics/implants instead. Who do you think would be the go-to department for those things? I hope you have a good day!
Not rude or weird at all! I hope the amount of time it’s taken us to respond didn’t feel rude or weird; we are just… always on this strugglebus. 😅
I’m excited to hear you’re dipping your toes into Bleach fanfic! There is never enough fanfic on this website. <3 And WORLDBUILDING is involved? Say no more! And I love how much work the word "misplaced" is doing in your description. XDD Love it.
I do not have the canon citations for this handy, but it seems like a lot of the major bodywork in Soul Society is more the purview of the 12th than 4th. We know that Kira’s rebar job, and whatever else was required to anchor his being (more or less), happened at the 12th. If you want to be de-zombified, that’s the 12th. (Though in fairness, by that point Unohana was dead and Isane had more than enough to handle without also taking on special projects.) And Hinamori also had dealings with the 12th post-Winter War (which I’m sure was a gr8 environment for her mental health)*—but anyway!
You’ve already seen our post about accessibility/disability studies and the Gotei 13, which gets a little bit into my thinking re: 4th vs. 12th, so I’ll skip over that and say that in the present-day Gotei, the 12th is going to be your go-to for assistive technologies or body modifications.
But what does that mean for the availability of, research direction of, and cultural response to these things?
* Speaking truthfully, though, I think that maybe it… could have been? I mean, not interacting *with Mayuri* if ever she did, but other people in 12th.
I’ll share some of the directions I’d think in, if I needed this for fic. I’d love to hear about your own worldbuilding around this as well!
Availability/Usage Notes
Mostly whenever the Gotei needs something from the 12th, they just have it, because of course they do. Or Mayuri works some mojo and several episodes later they have it. So we could make the argument that if you need an arm, or new ears, or an eyeball, then the 12th can make that happen.
But what if it’s not that simple? Because the 12th also seems like the kind of place where people are… working on stuff, but might be driven more by curiosity than the desire to enact public good, or offer a viable service. Most of that stuff is probably prototype-only, and all of the time and materials and actual working samples may be few and far between. It’s ~artisanal~
And probably fairly dangerous! Or at best, not without risk, and perhaps not without a lot of other factors to need to consider and/or accept/deal with. We know that stuff from the 12th does… get tested, and it’s not like they don’t have the time/lifespans to be collecting longitudinal data, but I’m positive they do not have the kind of oversight and ethnics boards that we do, and it’s not as though our human history (and contemporary lived experienced) isn’t already populated with some pretty heinous intrusions of bodily autonomy/informed consent/etc., even with all that.
I’d be interested to know:
how hard it might be to get the materials required to create any form of assistive technology at the 12th, or to replicate a successful result.
how much risk one takes on, in accepting such a technology from the 12th.
what it’s like to then live with this tech
You might have a "simple" prosthetic like Kuukaku’s, or you might have a whole new arm, like Soi Fon.
Do you get a new arm and never look back?
Do those neural pathways require a different kind of maintenance than the original?
Are there treatments to keep the body from rejecting the new limb? Are there medications?
Are Mayuri’s implants the same as the ears his body came with, or do they function differently? Is sound still an interpretation of vibrations or is here now something else involved? Does sound sound like sound in the way that it does to others?
Research Direction
Kind of going off that, I think the impetus for the research that’s happening would also have a huge impact on how these technologies functioned and what they are intended to do for the user. 
Again, this is something that continues to be complicated (and often frustrating) in our world. You probably know this too well! But in general, a lot of the assistive technologies in our world have been developed for the express purpose of making X thing more accessible, in a world that is otherwise largely designed for some normative, abled prototype of a person.
I am…not convinced that is always, or even often, the case at the 12th. I’m sure they have many labs that do feel a focused direction to their research (military applications), but I don’t think altruism, quality of life, accessibility, or disability justice likely factor in all that often. So what does that mean for the forms of technologies that are available? What does it mean for the potential divide between theory and praxis?
I'm not saying the 12th approach is all bad (okay, some of it involves the completely ubiquitous, unremarked upon death and/or abuse of their research subjects, which seems Bad)--some of it is about genuine curiosity, and some of that curiosity is about understandings things that exist in ways different than oneself, and/or in understanding oneself as different from others. And I do think it's valuable for a lot of these guys to not be trying to "fix" some specific thing (more on that in the next section).
I think there’s a lot of potential here for different labs to have very different approaches to and visions for their research.
How many of them were given a problem that they’re supposed to solve practically?
How many of them observed a phenomena, and are working on stuff that will help them observe it better, or break open some new vantage point from which to observe it (replicate it?  harness it? destroy it)?
How many of them have a fetish they’re exploring?
How much slippage is there between these things, within and across labs?
Cultural Response
One thing I enjoy about Bleach is that while we don’t necessarily see a lot of visibly disabled characters, or see different ways of being highlighted in the narrative, we do see many different choices characters have made about their lives. And sure, maybe it’s not always an element of choice—maybe Kyouraku’s eyeball was seared into oblivion so bad there was no hope of any form of prosthetic or eyeball transplant or some other more magic-forward alternative.
But limb replacement seems fairly straightforward (and again, maybe it’s really not, and Soi Fon and Hacchi and Hitsugaya and anyone else who’s ever lost a limb just doesn’t talk about it); we know Kuukaku has all the money and connections anyone could ever possibly need in Soul Society, yet she has (chose?) a basic prosthetic. Tousen remains blind. And uh, this does get a bit weird at the end of the winter war with the bug-ifying and the exploding, but before things got Complicated, he spent centuries living life as a blind man, where his other senses took center stage and meaningfully shaped his experiences and way of being in the world. Atau doesn’t seem to have any visible hearing aids, but we do know that he signs, and that forms of communication other than vocalized speech are his primary. One would also hope that that means Soul Society has a signing Deaf community of which he is a part, as well.
In Soul Society, there’s a bunch of magic that can "fix" someone, but doing so isn’t a foregone conclusion, and there doesn’t seem to really be a prescription for what root someone would need to take. (Minus Yhwach telling Yamamoto he should’ve gotten a new arm.) There are characters who choose to make use of this technology or that, and characters who choose otherwise. These are all potential ways of being, each with their own considerations, both practical and persona. And it seems like there’s a lot more allowance for that than in many spaces in our world (the military, for instance).
At the same time, like that other post of ours points out, there’s not a lot of thought given to accessibility or support, so this has its limitations. XD And maybe those limitations come out of things similar to what I was talking about with regard to research directions—is there a goal of accessibility being foregrounded, or is it a bunch of dudes (who may or may not be part of the target audience for their tech, if there is a target audience at all) making/breaking shit? It might also have to do with the ways that shinigami bodies, even as they do seem important and not entirely afterthought, are not as critical to their existence as ours are. Shinigami are not as anchored to the body. Maybe this gives them a freer sense of the strictures that "must" govern it/relationship to it; maybe it also supercharges the forgetting, of the ways that it does materially impact ways of being in the world.
As far as what cultural responses to using or not using assistive technologies might be, I imagine a lot of shinigami don’t actually think about it that much, because it hasn’t occurred to them to think about it. Everyone probably thinks Mayuri is a weirdo, but probably not nearly as much as Mayuri would like, and probably not because he replaced his ears. There’s so much other stuff going on with that man. XD He probably wishes he got more of a reaction out of his "hmm… okay then" co-workers! But I like the idea that a shinigami’s sense of what is "normative" is relatively broad. At least where the body—the just-the-organs body—is concerned.
Since that’s not at all the cultural response to other forms of "deviation," like Hollowfication, for instance. Which is certainly a bodily change/non-normative way of being, but which is treated in an absolutely different way. THAT’S a deformity; that’s the grotesque; that’s incompatible with life in the Soul Society. That’s the line.
Anyway, that sure is a whole Post, but those are some directions and questions I personally find invigorating. I hope it was also useful to your own brainstorming, as a jumping off point or as counterpoint to the ways you want to explore things. I’d love to hear your own thoughts as well, and definitely feel free to tag us in any worldbuilding headcanons you choose to share! :)
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burnwater13 · 9 months
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“I am IG-11. I am this Child’s nurse droid and require that you remand him to me immediately.” 
The former assassin droid lived up to every expectation Kuiil had for it. It had been reprogrammed with thought and care and Grogu had to agree that its primary functions to nurse and protect were just what he needed at that very moment. 
The two former Imps were being worse than awful to him. They thought he was funny and helpless and could be victimized because they were big and human. They had killed Kuiil and kidnapped Grogu and thought that no one was going to hold them accountable. Wow, were they in for a surprise.
At least IG-11 gave them a chance. If they had just handed Grogu over to the droid they might have lived for a few more minutes. Grogu’s dad, er, other protector, the Mandalorian, wasn’t going to take their behaviors and actions lightly. Nope. Din Djarin, Mandalorian bounty hunter was going to end them just as surely as IG-11 had. It was a credit toss to decide which one of them would have been more humane. 
Of course Grogu had been surprised when the nurse droid told him that he was ‘sorry you had to see that’. Grogu wasn’t sorry about seeing that at all. Both of those troopers had hit him just because he didn’t want to stay with them. That had been completely uncalled for and having his ‘nurse’ defend him, well, that’s what they did right?
Grogu wondered if the troopers could have been re-programmed, like Kuiil had reprogrammed IG-11. With patience and kindness and a deep knowledge of how to motivate humans, was there some way to help the troopers be better? And by better, Grogu meant help them not be mean, mindless, followers of orders that were cruel on their very face. Perhaps they, like IG-11, could be trained to serve tea and perform useful chores around a farm or ranch?
Of course it wouldn’t be easy. Kuiil had saved IG-11 after the Mandalorian pretty much destroyed the droids central processing unit and harness. Kuiil had to build new components and then fix things that were broken and then train, train, train, the droid to be useful. Kuiil had seen the value in not wasting the IG unit. Re-use was always better than recycling according to the folks who managed goods and stores at the Jedi Temple. 
Could you do the same sorts of things with humans? Grogu wasn’t sure. There were some key differences between the two groups. Humans had an organic central processing unit, not a circuit board and harness. Organic systems required specialized equipment for the purpose of physical modification. And… organic systems weren’t strictly reproducible the same way a droid was manufactured. If you made a mistake you couldn’t just send to the factory to get a spare part. Outside of the clones that the Jedi had commissioned, humans were generally made the old fashioned way and that took time.
Grogu did remember that Kuiil had joked that Cara Dune was a clone. Grogu knew that she didn’t find it funny, but she didn’t deny it either. Were there still people cloning humans? And why clone humans? Why not something better? Like frogs, or gorgs, or fathiers? 
He knew he didn’t want anyone to clone him. One Grogu was more than enough. Kuiil had joked about that too. Grogu was too ‘ugly’ to be a clone. Too evolved. Grogu thought he was handsome but maybe Kuiil was be reflective. He looked pretty evolved to Grogu too.
Of course, Grogu might consider his stance on cloning if he ever thought something might happen to the Mandalorian that Din Djarin couldn’t deal with effectively. As long as they were together, Grogu could heal him, make sure he ate his three tiny bite meals a day, and get plenty of exercise. He understood that these were the things that added to human longevity. 
He’d probably need to make sure that IG-11 stuck around with them. The droid was the perfect partner for Grogu in his quest to keep the Mandalorian alive and thumping. Grogu still had a lot to learn from the droid about how to best nurse and protect. Which reminded him that learning was the easiest way to reprogram anyone. The more you knew the more you knew how to live a good life. Yup. This is the Way.
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intersexbookclub · 11 months
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Intersex Book Club reviews The Fortunate Fall
For our June book pick we read *The Fortunate Fall, *a cyberpunk novel from the mid-1990s written by a trans intersex author (Raphael Carter). Intersex author Bogi Takács has argued that the book deserves being read for its intersex themes, which have gone underappreciated. We had a lovely discussion about the book and here are some notes summarizing our reactions. Spoilers ahoy!
INTERSEX THEMES
The book has two characters who self-describe as hermaphrodite in ways that are fairly minor. The intersex-ness of this book does not come from centring on explicitly intersex characters but instead through themes that speak to intersex experiences. (Please note: the h-term is generally considered a slur against intersex people. This is the language used in a mid-1990s book by an intersex author.)
A major theme of the book was coercive medical procedures and the maiming of one’s body. Characters such as the protagonist are described as having literal holes in them. The State requires invasive body modification of queer people to “suppress” their queerness and enforce conformity.
Which gets to the suppressor chips. In the end of the book the main character has her suppressor chip removed which brings back her memories of a previous sapphic relationship and who she was before she became a “camera” (ie. a journalist/influencer). We read the suppressor chips as a metaphor for how so many intersex people have their medical histories hidden from them. We also talked about how this could be read as a metaphor for people who deny their own queerness (e.g. transness, gayness, etc)
This will come up again when we read The Deep by Rivers Solomon but there’s a trend in intersex literature to portray intersex people as sea creatures. One of our hermaphrodite (their term) characters refers to themself as a mermaid and has a mental link with a humpback whale. We talked about how deep sea creatures are a great vehicle for writers to explore both the strangeness and the naturalness of being intersex. The ocean is intensely familiar but also foreign, and features animals whose sex determination schemes are far more fluid (ha) than us humans.
OUR PRIMARY REACTIONS (SPOILER HEAVY) - @ipsogender: “I was not expecting the book to end with honey I need to move in with you because my whale is about to die" - @scifimagpie “this was a darker book, started with a news report on genocide and ended with saddest breakup in gay history”
POSITIVES
OMG THAT ENDING
A uniquely devastating sapphic romance
The viscerality of jacking one’s brain into a digital set up. A lot of modern cyberpunk has paved over the physicality and the grotesqueness of body modification and this book did not shy away from it.
A book that argues for animal rights in a technological society. It got us talking about what an internet that serves other animals would be like.
Some excellent lines such as “The state allows you to hate it but only enough so as not to threaten it.” and “You can’t just show people the evil of the word, people will turn away. You need to show them hope.” which got us talking about activism and how to make political change
NEGATIVES
This book is pessimistic AF
No real denouement. Could be intentional to make the ending weigh on you more but also means less sense of what happens at the end.
The whale is never given a name! 😭
Disability as worse than death trope
Afrofuturism felt kinda weak; Africa is one country and it has surprisingly little effect on other cultures despite supposed superpower status
WHAT WE THOUGHT THE BOOK MIGHT BE TRYING TO SAY
We spent a bunch of time speculating as to authorial intent with the book. Here are some things we brainstormed:
In a totalitarian world where you’re an influencer and people literally tune into your brain, self-preservation comes at all costs including those you love.
Queer romance can be deep and tender, and societal prejudice can cause real hurt (remember: book came out in mid-1990s).
A cautionary tale to not back down from your love or your principles.
Huge leaps in technology won’t change social structure. We can invent technology to experience what other people have experienced and it alone won’t lead to increased acceptance of queers or protection of the environment/animals. (Again, remember: written in mid-1990s, a time of legit optimism about the internet.) From the book: “The Net should be the most democratic form of communication that the world has ever known…. But instead it is being used to enforce an official vision of humanity.”
@scifimagpie: a thesis of this book was "we fucking failed at saving the whales"
HOW IT HELD UP
Predicted: the enshittification of the internet
Predicted: influencer culture
Holds up: the sense of wonder that we can connect people across time and space
Holds up: the need to consider other animals in creating networked technologies
Dated: internet as a physical metaverse
Dated: fixed-location telephones
Dated: presentation of Christianity and its relationship to Russian culture
Disappointing: a future where there are still cars in cities
READ IF YOU LIKED
Idoru by William Gibson
Star Trek IV (the one with the whales)
The Matrix
Animorphs #19
Ancillary Justice
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timblum · 7 months
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u got any ocs? tell me about em. that may sound daunting. tell me about one.... the cute one thats fucked up. whats their name at least :3
Oh good LORD do i have ocs. its like late-as-shit o’clock rn so bear with me lmao.
my silly guy would be AiR-N v1.5.3, which stands for Arcane-intelligence Retainer - Model N (pronounced like Aaron Vaiz). He was made for my friend’s d&d campaign! (Warforged Wild Magic Sorcerer)
He’s a robot designed to be able to do magic, something that requires a soul which is. not exactly common in robots. This was done so that he could be a test dummy for magical effects (potions, spells, etc.).
He’s just over 10 years old and behaves only a little older than that. He was incredibly sheltered by his creator, a gnome man named Sir Albar. Being a test dummy, Albar did a lot of terrible things to AiR-N. He went through exhaustive magical training, bodily modification, and other forms of experimentation.
His one saving grace was Albar’s daughter, Carolynn. She’s a sister figure to AiR-N. She taught him about the world (she’s only 5 years older then him, so it’s not the most accurate knowledge), she read stories with him (his favorites were the “The Adventures of John Keeblemire” books), and comforted him during that frequent times he need it.
Eventually, Albar did something that finally convinced AiR-N to try and escape. He and Carolynn said their goodbyes and he promised that he would come back to stop her fathers work and to take her away from this place. He keeps a ragdoll she gave him on his person at all times.
He wandered for a while, making and finding clothes, sewing black yarn into his own scalp to make hair (kid’s got real high pain tolerance), and gathering anything he thought looked neat.
He eventually decided to go to the city of Illeheim, home to the Great Library and the Illeheim Academy, so he could master enough magic to save Carolynn. He hopped onto a train that so happened to contain the rest of the campaign’s party, and everything went swimmingly from there! (the fucking train crashed and everyone on board died. dw they all got better.)
He is my special boy who does stupid amounts of damage and is going to get so so fucked up as the campaign progresses <3
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corvarrow · 6 months
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Alright, I couldn't decide how to best present my thoughts about this art challenge, so here's just a summary screenshot to start with - if you would like to see the big versions with the lore you can check out my tag, and the actual list itself is here!
And without further ado, here are my thoughts on this art challenge and finishing it!
Things that helped me finish the challenge
Taking a break day (or two) a week – I have a day job so this was absolutely required to not burn out, lol
Having a theme – This was nor originally intentional, but keeping it worldbuilding related really helped me come up with ideas as there were several prompts where I was just coming up with nothing otherwise.
Small canvas size – These are all fairly small - it was a 6x6 pad. Originally thought it was going to be too small, but ended up being perfect. Since I opted to do full blown scenes I don’t think I would have finished otherwise
Limited Palette/Materials – I learned this from completing previous challenges, but the fewer decisions I have to make the easier it is to do these. This one happened to actually be ink (see materials section) but I have done challenge before with like, "single set of markers"
Displaying the Art – I didn’t like having a loose stack of completed pictures, so I bought a 6x6 photo album to store them in. This was a great decision as they look very cool in there I was very motivated to complete the set
Completion Stickers - Yes, I am 2 years old. I had a paper list where I was putting stickers next to each word as I completed it, and it was very satisfying >_>a
Stuff I liked
Able to practice a medium - Yeah by the end I was feeling way more confident with ink and different techniques (wet on wet, wet on dry, etc)
Got to practice scenes and lighting – I even fit in a ton of OC cameos
Posted all pieces regardless of quality - Although this was not my first list-based challenge it is the first one I posted ALL pieces for
Got some fun pieces to revisit later - There are quite a few I REALLY like for different reasons so it would be fun to do them again later, but spend more time
Kept a consistent quality for the whole challenge - It was tempting to "get lazy" at the end but I think I managed to keep the same general quality the entire time
Used up a bunch of pages in a sketchbook I’m not overly fond of by doing tons of thumbnails - To be quite honest, if I have a sketchbook I hate enough (because the paper is bad or whatever) I will often uh, dismantle them. 8Da; I am not overly fond of the one I'm currently using, but now there's only about 14 pages left so, I will persevere.
Stuff I didn’t like
Time commitment required - Even with the breaks, I was spending almost all evening for 5 weeks working on these, which was a little Much for me. I will have to rethink my approach to any future challenges.
Using WIP designs/Not being able to spend a lot of time on anything – There’s a couple pieces where I wanted to go a certain direction and had to go with Vibes rather than accuracy for the sake of getting it done….which is fine, some of them turned out nice regardless. However would have still liked to hammer things out a little more.
Materials Used
Artsnacks Inktober Box, with some modifications - Something you should know about Artsnacks, is that often the colored materials will be the brand shown, but the color you actually receive will be random. Luckily, I got an Orange ink. Unfortunately, I also have terrible luck with PH Martin’s Orange in that it always separates no matter how much I mix it, so partway through the challenge I replaced it with a Daler Rowney Flame Orange Ink. This is a VERY similar ink, the only difference I really saw was that when diluted a lot it leaned more yellow. Additionally I did not use the blue Faber Castel Pitt pen in the box. TECHNICALLY I could have made green for all those plant pictures, but I refused for the sake of keeping a cohesive Black/Orange color scheme
Ranger Craft-It! Heat Gun - I would not have been able to finish had I not been able to speed up the drying time with this thing, it is the best
Lots of background noise - My noise of choice was a mix between scary cave and cave diving stories, as well as the White Vault podcast, which is a fictional horror audio drama
Bonus Round: Number of OC Appearances
Tower: x4
Torch: x4 (one of them in his plantbeast form)
Cavi: x3
Mady: x1 (also the only non-sion in this list)
Team "New/WIP OCs" -
Aki: x5 (one of them as a doll)
Jas: x2
Aki's sibling (final name pending): x1 (as a statue)
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sunsetsharkblog · 10 months
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I appreciate you answering my ask about the prediction cause I like picking your brain at it :) okay I know you are writing a fic of a what if... moment but if you were to change one thing or scene in Arcane what would you change?
Show us what happened after the bedroom scene show us what happened after the bedroom sc—
But seriously, while I have a few gripes of missing scenes and how the timeline of the show is muddy and takes a conspiracy board to try and figure out (especially since all Undercity scenes are dark, so it’s hard to tell when it’s night and day) I can at least shrug and accept that they were trying to fit in a significant portion of character building and plot points along with required downtime and fight sequences in a short amount of time and those little hiccups are manageable. There’s a lot of missing pieces that you can reasonably fill in with reads of the rest of the show, so I don’t mind.
But if I could change anything it would be the start of ep 7 where Caitlyn and Vi head to the sign/shimmer gutter while being chased by Silco’s goons. It’s just confusing how it’s set up/presented and really feels like there was some expository scenes beforehand that got cut; I wouldn’t change much, just tweak it a bit to make a bit more sense. It feels like Vi doesn’t know where they’re going, (asking Caitlyn what the sign is and Caitlyn responding like it’s something she was told to look for without us as the audience having any idea what she’s talking about) but it’s her childhood home? I would probably have just taken out the ‘being chased by goons’ bit entirely and made it Vi trying to get back to her old home and finding the state of it now. I think that scene could have worked much better with a couple adjustments to emphasize ‘look how bad the undercity has become’ bit for both of them. (And then Puck betrays them yadda yadda)
That’s probably the complaint that stands out the most to me. Otherwise most of what I would like added to Arcane is added scenes, not requiring modification of the existing ones. Like I would have really loved Jayce and Cassandra to interact at least once after he became a Councillor and Caitlyn goes missing.
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bye-bye-firefly · 7 months
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do you worry about your characterisations of fics being ooc? esp w fics like nameless. where do you draw the line?
I've been wanting to write fanfic but every time I try to write an au that requires modification of characterisatiin, I keep getting really worried that I'm too ooc
the way you have to get ahead of that is to study the SHIT out of the characters, which is what i do. and then you have to regularly go back to the source material, which i really REALLY need to do at this point
you also have to be aware of circumstances that might alter character behaviour. so kokichi being the way he is would not be the same the second he is taken out of a killing game. hes fighting for his life and he would not behave the same if he wasnt, which is why i tend to put him in situations where hes fighting for his life because it means that hes going to behave nearly the same but with my own twist
and this is also something that you have to realise; the way YOU see the character will completely alter your writings of them. this is why you get the character study out but even WITH the character study, these characters are going through you as a filter. you can decide how they would act and what they need to say or do to progress the story, but ultimately, the only reason shuichi behaves the way he does in nameless is because i wanted to drive up his fear of the truth up to a fucking MILLION. he would not behave that way in canon and i KNOW THIS but i want him to be so guilty, so scared of the truth, so scared of an eventual reality he cannot run from.
one thing that i also think is important to talk about is that these characters, once in your grasp, are no longer people, though you must puppet them to have them act like people. they are TOOLS. things get a lot easier when you think of your characters as tools within a story that are only there to make the plot push forward or to exercise a point. this still goes hand in hand with characterisation because i cant very well cut a piece of wood with a screwdriver. every interaction causes ripple effects causes new subplots that you will have to deal with causes BEAUTIFUL STORYTELLING!
sometimes you really do have to stop yourself after reading something back and go He would not fucking say that and erase it and sometimes erase a whole section. and it sucks. but that is sometimes what you must do to be happy with what youve written
AND FINALLY! because i feel like this might also become a problem and i love talking about writing and characters. when it comes to shit like the characters just running off the page and doing whatever the fuck they want, when this happens, you have to figure out what happened here what caused them to do something different. was it something someone said? was it something someone did? was it something NO ONE did? read through and find a path because there is always a path. sometimes you might even like the characters running away together anyway i know ive run into that, but that does mean that you have to be prepared to change the story if thats so. and for people like me who fly on the seat of their pants thats easy but for people who PLAN this shit completely out....Might be an issue .
so in short: STUDY! YOUR! CHARACTERS! and dont be afraid of creating subplots because people love subplots. your characters are TOOLS not PEOPLE. telling you where i draw the line is difficult because it really is a case-by-case basis and that is dependent on my view of the characters, which could be accurate in some spots and inaccurate in others
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knighta3 · 9 months
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Hi, just in case you miss my reblog of your tags when I block you, you're a transphobe and I hope you get the fuck over yourself someday soon. :)
Me? Get over myself? I'm not the one going out of my way to tell someone I'm blocking them. Get off your high horse. Those drugs aren't good for animals. People like this always take the most bad-faith interpretation possible.
So I've been sitting on this for awhile trying to decide if I wanted to bother replying. Obviously, this person won't see it, unless they go out of their way to check on me for some reason. But this is a topic that I have opinions on that can be difficult to communicate the nuances of, especially with how polarized it is. So I'm using this as an opportunity to sort through my thoughts.
And I have a lot of thoughts, so buckle up.
For context, I've included screenshots of what the person is talking about. The first set of tags is mine, the rest is theirs.
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The whole trans concept is a concept. There's an ideology to it. Maybe that wasn't the best way to phrase it, and I apologize for that. But everything is a concept, and that's not necessarily bad. Chill.
It's hard to explain my personal feelings. This isn't a perfect analogy, but it's similar to how I feel about doing drugs. I would never do it, I don't understand why it's appealing to anyone, and I don't recommend anyone do it. But I try not to look down on people who do, and I recognize there are exceptions for medical uses. Minors shouldn't be allowed to do it, but adults can mess themselves up however they want so long as they don't hurt anyone, and a doctor should not lie about the effects it has, or recklessly enable it.
I believe a person needs to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, go through therapy for at least a year, and rule out less drastic treatment methods before being allowed to medically transition(social transition is a different topic that I don't care to discuss right now. So mentions of transition in this post will refer to the medical variety unless otherwise stated). You might be born gender dysphoric, or more masculine/feminine than usual, idk, but being Trans is not something you innately ARE, it's something you BECOME. I don't think anyone is trans until they actually transition. Before that, they're simply gender dysphoric.
Cross-sex hormones and puberty blockers are something that we do not know all the effects of, especially on children(who are still developing and thus have more unpredictable variables in play). Minors should never be allowed to transition. There are too many variables to reliably diagnose chronic gender dysphoria vs other causes of discomfort. (To be clear, I'm using "chronic" as a way to describe a condition that won't simply go away or be grown out of, and requires treatment). People who are not gender dysphoric should not transition, as it is a completely unnecessary risk and I feel it is malpractice for a doctor to allow it. Side note, but gender-affirming surgeries are just cosmetic surgeries and body modification.
I feel the same about medications too. Especially for kids. Meds for AHDH, depression, anxiety, birth control, etc. All meds have risks associated with them. We're altering the way the body naturally functions and pretending to know and control what happens. We do not know all the ways those meds can affect the human body and mind long-term(and it can be different for every individual, doubly so for minors. Deciding whether to introduce meds is a risk vs benefit scenario, especially for kids. If the problem can be treated or sufficiently managed without making a person reliant on drugs, it should be done first. But if the problem is too severe for those less medicalizing treatments, then getting on meds and such should be considered. Because at that point, the benefit outweighs the risk. (For context, I am an adult with diagnosed anxiety and take meds for it. Before taking meds, I tried the normal stuff like exercise and meditation and whatnot, but I was still a mess. I wish meds weren't necessary for me, but they seem to be. I am also ace, so does that make me queer? Or am I disqualified for having the "wrong" opinion?)
The cause of gender dysphoria can vary greatly. This person has latched heavily onto my mention of neurodivergence and assumed I only meant autism, but it's far more multifaceted than that. Gender dysphoria is the condition, and transition is a potential treatment. But the possible underlying causes should be addressed BEFORE considering transition as a treatment.
Maybe some people are born with it, or at least develop it very early with no external causes. I don't have stats, but I feel this is a minority.
Gender Non-Conformity: Some people are simply naturally feminine men/masculine women and they feel that isn't acceptable for whatever reason. So whether or not they are conscious of the reasons for that dysphoria, they feel a societal pressure to transition because they don't fit the gender norms. Others are gay and are in denial over it and choose to "trans the gay away" instead of accept that aspect of themselves. This is common in places like the Middle East, where homosexuality is highly stigmatized and persecuted.
Paraphilia: Some people are just attracted to or aroused by exposing themselves to others, cross dressing, or perceiving themselves as the opposite gender. I'm inclined to think a "trans" woman who exposes male genitalia in woman's spaces and loudly insists that others accept it, no matter how uncomfortable or triggering is could be for others, is not actually gender dysphoric. Drag Queens are not trans, and neither are these people.
Trauma: Some kids suffer from severe trauma, and gender dysphoria can develop as a result. A child suffering from sexual abuse, for example, may rationalize that maybe if they were the opposite sex, they wouldn't have been hurt. So as they develop, they take on traits of the opposite sex to cope with their trauma and become dysphoric. It may not be the most rational of responses, but trauma responses seldom are, especially in kids. Plus, there are cases of DID(Disassociative Identity Disorder) where some alters are different genders from the system's host/body. DID is caused by trauma at a specific age which causes a level of disassociation that splinters into multiple identities(personalities) separated by amnesia walls within the mind. The individual identities carry different parts of the trauma to compartmentalize and cope in order to protect the "host"(the "main" or "primary" identity). Some of the identities develop gender or age dysphoria as a part of their coping mechanism. It's honestly fascinating to observe the variety of ways DID systems will cope with trauma.
Neurodivergence: I have various relatives on the autism spectrum. My sister is high functioning, and a few cousins were diagnosed with Asperger's when that was still considered it's own diagnosis. When people live with a mental condition like that their entire life, they absolutely cannot tell what aspects of themselves is caused by the neurodivergence, what is caused by trauma, what is "normal", or what is just normal for the individual. It would be unfair to assume they can parse out all of that when it's even a struggle for neurotypical people. And there is more to neurodivergence than just autism. Some people don't consider depression/anxiety and such as neurodivergence. But I will when it's chronic/clinical because it is a mental disorder characterized by abnormal brain function. So when I'm having trouble with anxious thoughts, it's difficult to tell what is a reasonable concern(because everyone has occasional feeling of anxiety) vs me just overreacting because of my mental condition. The same applies to depression, self harming behavior, suicidal ideation, etc. I have a friend who took a while to realize she was schizophrenic because she couldn't tell that the extra voices in her head was an abnormal experience. To reiterate, this point is about how people with neurodivergence can't always tell when their experience is abnormal because they have always had this experience and it is normal to them. Recognizing what is different about yourself is a learned skill. Gender dysphoria may or may not occur along with various different neurodivergent conditions.
Autism: One common trait of autism is a male-typical pattern of interaction. Women/girls tend to be more socially/emotionally driven while men are more object/goal driven. This does not apply to everyone, as it is just a broad pattern of typical gender traits. Autistic people tend to struggle with social and emotional relationships with others. So autistic girls in particular struggle to fit in with the other girls, and can feel they fit in better with the boys. But at the same time, the boys might feel weird about hanging with a girl(because of "cooties" behavior, which I'm using to describe the tendency for girls and boys to segregate themselves from each other). Overall, it's not that big of a leap for an autistic girl to conclude that she should actually be a boy and subsequently identify as transgender.
Social Contagion: People, particularly kids/teens, are desperate for an individual identity, but also to fit in and be part of a group. They want attention. And if they can't get "good" attention, they will absolutely settle for "bad" attention(misbehaving, lashing out, rule breaking, deviant/criminal behavior). Children do it all the time, especially with neglectful or strict parents. Dogs even do it, which is one reason they can become disobedient. Also, teens are at an age where they often place more value in their friends and social standing than in their family. So if their friends start identifying as various different LBGTQ+ identities, they will find a label to slap on themselves too so they can fit in. Siblings may follow in their footsteps and also find a label for the sake of a label. Nobody wants to be the straight cis friend these days. People crave a sense of belonging, while also being different from the larger majority for a sense of individuality. Some people choose to be theater kids, band kids, jocks, etc. to accomplish this. But if none of those appeal to them or they can't break into the group, they have to find something else. If people can get attention or validation or a sense of belonging by joining this exclusive trans club, they will. Previous generations were flappers, hippies, hipsters, emo/goth, etc. With insistence that, "it's not a phase, mom!" The biggest difference between those and this is the transgender movement has more permanent effects on the individuals within it, which are potentially harmful if we aren't careful.
Sense of Control: Some of these potentially underlying issues can overlap or cause each other. If the wrong condition is treated, it might not help. For example, anxiety can cause depression. But the depression is a symptom of the anxiety, so treating the depression doesn't solve the underlying cause. When people feel that something about their life is bad, so something about it has to change. And sometimes that something ends up being gender. They feel if they can control some aspect of themselves, things will improve. A girl might become so convinced she can't succeed because she's a girl that she instead decides her chances would be better as a boy. Or a boy is so burdened by the expectations of male gender roles that he thinks life would be easier as a girl. This would probably be coupled with other underlying factors such as depression. In a similar vein, skipping straight to a transition rather than addressing underlying conditions first won't ease the turmoil. If anything, it would make it worse. Because if you think transitioning would fix all your problems, and then it doesn't, it would make you feel more hopeless.
Puberty: First, young kids are exploring the world around them and that is often done through play. Trying on mom's shoes or messing with her makeup or playing with dolls and sparkles does not mean a young boy is a trans girl. And playing with dirt or toy trucks or wanting to play sports or hating dresses does not make a young girl a trans boy. Kids are just kids and should be left to play and explore. They observe reactions around them, and if being "trans" gets them praise, they will do it. Teens are going through a tumultuous and unstable phase of life where they are still searching for their own identity and trying things out. It is horrendously irresponsible to enable any impulsive life-altering choices. Puberty is uncomfortable and can cause temporary gender dysphoria in a lot of teens. I went through it too, before I had ever heard of the concept of transgenderism. I felt I didn't fit in with the other girls, so I wondered if I was born in the wrong body because I had a little more noticeable hair than the others. Most kids/teens will grow out of it. "Oh, puberty blockers just pause puberty to give kids a chance to decide" No, no, no. Puberty blockers were initially used as a way to chemically castrate sex offenders. I would never trust that for kids. And, ironically, if the kids don't go through their natural birth-sex puberty, they won't have enough of the needed tissue for a bottom surgery if they wanted to go that route. Which significantly increases the chances of potential complications associated with the surgery.
Side tangent, but still somewhat relevant, but I'm reminded of castrati. Castrato were men who were castrated as young boys before going through puberty(as opposed to eunuchs, who were castrated after puberty). They were stars of the opera because they retained the higher vocal range of a young boy, but with the lung capacity and power of a man. They were particularly common in areas that didn't allow women to perform, such as Italy. Because castrato were highly desired in the music industry, but had to be set on that path young, parents would have their pre-pubescent sons castrated around the ages of 8-12 to give them just the chance for this "lavish" career path. The operation wasn't legal, and considered barbaric even at the time, but parents would make up excuses such as falling off a horse or animal attack where the castration would be considered a treatment. But becoming an opera singer wasn't easy and required intense musical training. Castrati who didn't succeed in the field were relegated to a life of ridicule, poverty, and/or prostitution. The lack of testosterone could cause their bones to grow longer instead of harden, so they would be abnormally tall and have large rib cages(similar to gigantism), and be prone to conditions such as osteoporosis. Plus an increased tendency toward obesity. It was common to develop feminine features. Overall, they were seen as something of a "freak show." The practice slowly died off, but didn't really end until the early 1900's. Most castrati were forced into this lifestyle by desperate, poverty-stricken families. But the desired fortune didn't come for most, they were often ostracized for neither being a full man nor a woman, but rather something subhuman, and died in poverty and ridicule. It doesn't matter how well-meaning the family may or may not have been. The result was ruined lives.
I don't say any of this to invalidate the experience of gender dysphoria or of trans people. I say this because people are being hurt without proper safeguards. The suicide rate of trans people does not significantly change before or after transition. This suggests that transitioning itself does not treat the underlying cause of their misery. And the rate of detransitioners is rising because we are too quick to affirm feelings of transness and fail to filter out those who would end up regretting it because it was "just a phase". Then, once they become detrans, they're totally rejected by the trans community as "never trans in the first place". Even though the Detrans person transitioned in the first place because they believed they were trans and that a transition would solve their problems. It isn't fair to scorn them when it didn't work out for them. They still went through the experience of transitioning, which is still a valid trans experience.
Detrans people suffer irreversible harm that could have been totally preventable if their medical care providers had bothered to do any proper screening and pushback. If a person would truly benefit from a transition, then they could absolutely confirm that by going through the whole process. If they can't get through the process, then they shouldn't transition in the first place.
What is concerning is that suicide rates don't significantly change before/after transition, and most gender dysphoric people seem to have a some degree of trauma or mental illness in their background, which indicates to me that there is more going on than just being "born that way". And I think it is vital to the health and well-being of these people to acknowledge and explore why.
I don't think it's transphobic to believe gender dysphoria, and transgenderism by extension, can have underlying factors that should be looked into and thoroughly addressed before pursing a transition as a means to relieve distress.
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