“The unbosoming of an ugly duckling,” will be the title of all this nonsense. - Anne Frank, Friday 14th April 1944
Notes on 'The Diary of a Young Girl'
Saturday 19th February 1944
The giddy ups and downs of Anne Frank -
Tuesday 7th March 1944
Anne Frank’s advice for those in a state of melancholy -
She’s such a little philosopher, breaking down the flaws in her mum’s advice. Bet she annoyed the pants off the others in the Secret Annex simply by thinking critically and trying to discuss things. That’s why they harassed her with criticisms so much.
Thursday 23rd March 1944
Envious old guys tryna sabotage Anne & Peter, Peter blushing and Anne being shamelessly vain -
Monday 27th March 1944
Every resident of the Secret Annex is crowded around the radio listening to Winston Churchill making a speech.
'... I am wearing a nightdress, which is much too small, too narrow and too short.'
Anne doesn't say how she feels about this situation. She does say that 'Peter's eyes are popping out of his head' but she attributes this to the strain of listening to the radio.
Tuesday 28th March 1944
I like it much better if he explains something to me than when I have to teach him; I would really adore him to be my superior in almost everything.'
DO GIRLS WANT YOU TO MANSPLAIN OR NOT?!
He longs to kiss you too, Anne. It's because he's afraid of rejection, embarrassment and shame.
Tuesday 4th April 1944
"Eva's Dream" is my best fairy-tale, and the queer thing about it is that I don't know where it comes from.
Eva's Dream features a rose who is full of herself just like the flower in The Little Prince. The Little Prince had already been published but only six months before this diary entry and in America, not Europe, which means Anne couldn’t have read it.
Tuesday 11th April 1944
"Then they will find Anne's diary," added Daddy. "Burn it then," suggested the most terrified member of the party. This, and when the police rattled the cupboard door, were my worst moments. "Not my diary, if my diary goes, I go with it!" But luckily Daddy didn't answer.
..........................
If we bear all this suffering and if there are still Jews left, when it is over, then Jews, instead of being doomed, will be held up as an example. Who knows, it might even be our religion from which the world and all peoples learn good, and for that reason and that reason only do we have to suffer now. We can never become just Netherlanders, or just English, or representatives of any country for that matter, we will always remain Jews, but we want to, too.
...............................
For the remainder of this epic entry in her diary, Anne takes stock of herself and states some of her dreams for the future after the war is over. An indomitable spirit.
Friday 14th April 1944
"The unbosoming of an ugly duckling," will be the title of all this nonsense.
Sunday morning just before eleven o'clock, 16th April 1944
Poor darling Peter awkwardly fumbling his way towards kissing Anne on the ear. Anne in ecstasy.
Monday 17th April 1944
Dear Kitty,
Do you think that Mummy and Daddy would approve of my sitting and kissing a boy on a divan - a boy of seventeen and a half and a girl of just under fifteen? I don't really think they would, but I must rely on myself over this.
............. To exchange our thoughts, that shows confidence, and faith in each other; we would both be sure to profit by it!
Yours, Anne.
Wednesday 19th April 1944
It is so soothing and peaceful to feel his arms around me, to know that he is close by and yet to remain silent, it can’t be bad, for this tranquillity is good.
Friday 28th April 1944
First kiss on the lips.
Friday 5th May 1944
Anne shares what she intends to tell Daddy in defence of her right to go upstairs for a snog. Very forthright and long-winded. Poor Daddy.
The next day, Pim (Daddy) reads it in a letter that Anne gives him and he's upset for the whole evening. Anne talks about it as if she's being grown up but I think she actually enjoys how much it upsets him, which is very childish.
The day after that, Pim tells her how hurt he was by her words and Anne realises how obnoxious she's been and is ashamed of herself.
Wednesday 14th June 1944
Aged just 15, Anne works out the narcissistic defence mechanism that is projection and also understands how being far more self-critical than others has emotional and social consequences for her. She may be over-estimating how much of an inner life Peter has. He's not as brilliant as her and he may just simply not have those profound thoughts and feelings like she has -
Thursday 15th June 1944
It's not imagination on my part when I say that to look up at the sky, the clouds, the moon and the stars makes me calm and patient. It's a better medicine than either valerian or bromine; Mother Nature makes me humble and prepared to face every blow courageously.
Thursday 6th July 1944
I've so often thought how lovely it would be to have someone's complete confidence, but now, now that I'm that far, I realise how difficult it is to think what the other person is thinking and then to find the right answer.
Saturday 15th July 1944
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever-approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquillity will return again.
In the meantime, I must uphold my ideals, for perhaps the time will come when I shall be able to carry them out.
Friday 21st July 1944
With her second last diary entry, Anne is over-excited from optimism about the trajectory of the war and very jokey. So tragic.
Tuesday 1st August 1944
I can't keep that up: if I'm watched to that extent, I start by getting snappy, then unhappy, and finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside, and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and what I could be, if... there weren't any other people living in the world.
EPILOGUE
As for the two girls, they had been sent to Bergen-Belsen in Germany two months before their mother's death. There Anne showed the same qualities of courage and endurance which had already made her noteworthy at Auschwitz. In February, 1945, both the sisters caught Typhus. One day Margot, who was lying in the bunk immediately above Anne's, seeking to rise, lost her hold and fell on to the floor. In her weakened state the shock killed her. Her sister's death did to Anne what all her previous sufferings had failed to do: it broke her spirit. A few days later, in early March, she died.
................................................
“I want to go on living even after my death! And therefore I am grateful to God for this gift, this possibility of developing myself and of writing, of expressing all that is in me. I can shake off everything if I write; my sorrows disappear; my courage is reborn. But, and that is the great question, will I ever be able to write anything great, will I ever become a journalist or a writer?” - Anne Frank
Anne, you were wonderful, lovely and amazing, a great writer and a great person, and you always will be.
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