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#another edit that has been in my drafts for too long
louroth · 4 hours
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Forget the IF, just wanted to check in and see if YOU were okay dear author? I hope everything is well. I know you have a process lol, but I miss seeing you on my TL from time to time.
oh, kjsdhfjskdf . how sweet<3 thank you for this! I am doing well, crafting ouro alongside some personal shifts and growth and setbacks and victories. it has been a godsend to take all this pressure off for this period and do things my way. though, I'll say: while it has taken and will probably take another while, this silence will be broken at some point. I'll avoid saying soon only because I'm staunchly sticking to my pace&process. however !! I finished the draft for the first book yesterday. !! I am currently doing some hefty edits, collecting art and testing coding (&learning something new a hundred times over, over, again, whether it be storycrafting, interactivity, ui design, social media, art, code ... the list goes on) and so for the most part, I'm having a good time, as long as we count the entire spectrum of the human condition as a mostly good time. pfft.
I miss hanging out here too! I genuinely can't wait to get back to online shenanigans once I feel ready for it; if you'll have me, of course. I can imagine that this type of secret development is frustrating and everyone has their limit. It means a lot that you sent this my way. Hope you're doing well too. <3
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crossbackpoke-check · 9 months
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Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming
#liv in the replies#patrice bergeron#boston bruins#brad marchand#do you ever think about how brad marchand said that when bergy retired he would retire or are you capable of normal thought i'm not at all#please say a gratitude for both my sanity& y'all that this poem (which has been saved in my camera roll with the vague idea of using it for#??? ​long) & not one of the poems i had saved for carey for a really long time & remixed & everything with another poem until i found a poem#that absolutely murdered me in cold blood but there is an alternate universe where i did& then had to explain my unhinged thoughts to you.#anyway how are we feeling about bergy retirement. pspspspsp sara & luna are y'all doing okay like. the doc title for this one was#patrice the hockey player means a lot to me but patrice the person means so much more#which is why the end line of the other poem was so *%"@^)! (you love / what you are) because patrice does. like he is a whole ass good huma#& now since no one asked i need to tell you all the details about everything also y'all please clap i made an edit with NO baby pictures#although i did find one & save it & minimal genres of photo i always use in edits because they're my taste & aesthetic but anyway.#when i saved the first photo and marked it as one i wanted i accidentally wrote “how will he know they love him” which is not the line but#makes me feel feral about patrice & the rest of them all had hurtful names too but also. the third picture is literally a CELLY like brad#just scored a goal & he is clinging to bergy for dear life with that shit i saved that as “oh the agony on his face for unendurable”#& yes it is one of my cliches to have a draft day picture but in my defense the lifelong bond that patrice has/d with boston deserved to be#there even if i put in the love story & YES that picture is from the 2011 playoff right below it shared joy & pain & i couldn't tell you#when the brad marchy photo for together forever is except for the fact that i saw it & just the gut punch of oh my god the way he looks at#things men will praise you for is the stanley cup. duh. but i love the contrast of “some deed” being the stanley cup but then#bergy's choice to do noble deeds (ends up still earning praise &that's my note to his efforts outside of hockey we love a supportive captai#should also mention the first two i came up with & had the photos i knew i wanted for were the first and last one alskaldk but i KNEW i#wanted chara somewhere in the paragraph about leaving & then while i was looking found the one of bergy playing tuukka on accident & yes#i do have to make goalie jokes every time. no reprieve . no dice/no deal/no goal goalies have no rest/reprieve etc etc the one that killed#me though was looking for a patrice award pic & i wanted basically the one that i got for “how will you know any will praise you” & instead#also got the picture of patrice winning the some community hero award for charity work that he does & i love him mama & of COURSE that puck#is from bergy's 1000 game who do you think I am (if you guessed sleepy and emotional about patrice you'd be right) and ALSO please be ready#for all the patrice posts/bruins posts that have been sitting in my drafts to be released on this occasion of patrice retirement#I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT TUUKKA ALSO RETIRED THAT’S WHY HE WAS ON WISE OR SIMPLE NO REPRIEVE AND THAT LATE OR SOON WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE#CHARA BECAUSE CHARA LEFT FIRST TO GO TO THE CAPS AND THEN LEFT IN RETIRMENT HE LEFT SOON BUT NOT FOR REAL THEN LATER LEFT FOR REAL (RETIRED)
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joelsdagger · 3 months
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all the things i would do
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read on ao3 | resources on how to help Palestine here <3
pairing: joel miller x f!reader
summary: porn no plot. joel finds an article of clothing of yours and there’s nothing holding him back once he gets his hands on them. 
rating: explicit, 18+ MDNI 
content warnings: [Post Outbreak], established relationship, implied age gap (25+ years), joel is canon age, slightly domestic joel (blink and it’s gone), joel has a panty kink, panty sniffing, masturbation (m), soft dom!joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex, pet names (use of baby, sweet baby, sweetheart, love), smidgen of fluff (these two are so in love it’s sickening), an inkling of a size kink (but in my head joel’s at least 6’5, he’s a BIG big man in my brain), joel’s filthy mouth, praise kink, hint of sub!joel, nipple play, one use of the word ‘Daddy’ (moots don’t look at me I couldn’t help it), slight tummy kink/tummy worship, cum eating.  No use of Y/N. No physical descriptions of reader other than having hair long enough that it’s past her shoulders. 
word count: 3.1k
A/N: so, a few things before we get started. i’m new to writing fics and this is my first time publicly putting out a fic that wasn’t just for shits and giggles for my friends and i and i’m so fucking nervous like the amount of times i’ve panicked over this is a little embarrassing to admit but we ball. that being said, i love and welcome constructive criticism as long as you’re nice about it. there was an alternative version of this, it’s more like a deviation (literally sitting in my drafts as we speak) but reader is more involved in the situation, if y’all still wanna read that, just let me know and i’ll work on getting it out for you guys. finally, shout out to @skrunkly-scrimblo for encouraging me to actually write this all those months ago and for all your brilliant ideas and encouragement and practically holding my hand through it since day one, @aurasjournal for being such a gem and helping me with the cover for this fic and hyping me up, and thank you to @papurgaatika and @nevergoingbacknowshine for being so kind and encouraging and listening to my 3am rants when i was anxious. another big thank you to kat, aura, and naya for beta reading and helping me during the editing process. all four of you have been absolute sweethearts despite me being a pussy about posting this. okay i’m done rambling, enjoy some of the filth that constantly plagues my brain <3 
Joel’s eyes blink open slowly, the sun peeks into the bedroom through the curtains across the room. For a moment he searches for you beside him, but remembers you’ve already left for the day out on patrol duty. Joel harrumphs, still bothered over letting you and Ellie bully him out of his patrol duties. “You’ve been hurting yourself too much baby,” You had told him a few weeks ago over breakfast. “Yeah, you’re an old man now. You fall over one more time and you’re done.” Ellie snickers from her seat in the kitchen. Joel just rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the dishes, but you had caught the small grin on his face when he turned his head back to the sink. Against the two of you, Joel never stood a chance.
Joel drags himself out of bed towards his dresser to grab a new set of clothes. He throws on a blue shirt that fits a little snug on his well built form, the thin material stretches over his broad shoulders, across his strong back, and pulls taut over his biceps and he grunts as he pulls a pair of dark wash jeans over his strong, thick thighs, securing them in place with a distressed leather belt that he’s had for years. Once he’s dressed, he takes in the mess in the room. He notices both of your clothes from the night before are still scattered around the room.  He bends down to pick them up, he grunts as his knees pop when he stands back up. He starts gathering them up to toss them into the hamper already overflowing with clothes. The last article of clothing out of place is yours. Your black lace panties on the armchair in the corner. He grabs them and his eyes widen when he feels it, the center still wet from him making you come earlier. His cock instantly hardened in his jeans.  
Joel turns on his heel and in just a few long strides he’s in your shared bathroom. He deliberately avoids the mirror, knowing that if he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror he’ll disgust himself even more. Briskly, he sets the laundry hamper on the tile near the bathtub. Joel brings the thin black lace up to his face, closes his eyes and he sniffs them, breathing you in completely. He groans at the scent of you. His cock painfully hard now. He knows he shouldn't but he can't help it. He’s addicted to you and he knows he can’t wait til you get home. He knows he can’t wait to have his way with you, dig into you any way that you will let him. So, without another second of hesitation, Joel unbuckles his belt, a clink from the metal hitting the edge of the counter, unzips his jeans and takes his thick, heavy cock out, and then brings your soaked panties to his angry, leaking tip. His precum meets the wetness of your panties and he hisses at the feeling. With the wetness of the gusset of your panties acting as a lubricant, Joel begins to slowly stroke himself, wanting to take his time, savoring every feeling, relishing in it. Joel soon becomes too desperate for release, he quickly loses control, his hips moving faster to fuck his hand, his hand tightening around his cock, the grip almost painful now. His eyes are screwed shut, as he throws his head back, the night before instantly replaying in his head.
He had just gotten out of the shower to find you sprawled out on your stomach on your side of the bed, ankles crossed in the air. He rakes his eyes over your form until his eyes land on your ass. You were wearing the panties he was currently fucking his hand with. You didn’t notice him stepping out of the bathroom, too busy looking at the photo album you had just put together. It’s relatively new, most of the pages empty, yet you were looking at the photos you had taken earlier that week at the Tipsy Bison. The one that had your attention was a photo of you and Joel that Ellie had taken. Neither of you looked at the camera, the photo had captured you mid-laugh, head tilting back, eyes shut, it was a full belly laugh at something Joel had said. Joel’s arm was around your shoulder tucking you into his side, smiling down at you, a rare type of smile, one reserved only for you. 
Leaning on the entryway, his arms crossed over his broad, tanned chest, he smiles at the view. You’re in nothing but your panties in his bed, in his home. His feet move without thinking, walking over to you. He brushes your hair over your shoulder, tracing his fingers over your soft supple skin down your back and over the lace of your panties, and lightly pinches your ass. “So pretty sweet baby,” he says shyly, almost like he’s speaking to himself. You turn your head to look up at him, smiling. Wordlessly, he took the photo album from your hands, placing it on your nightstand. He gets in the bed, carefully sitting on his knees while attempting to avoid loosening the off-white towel around his waist. You roll onto your back to face him, his silver curls still damp from the shower as water still drips onto his strong shoulders. He combs his hair back after a shower and the ends tend to curl up around his ears. It’s been months since you last cut his hair but you like his hair longer, you had whispered to him in the darkness of your bedroom, your naked, sweaty limbs tangled up together between his sheets. From that night on he hasn’t asked you to cut it for him. He likes it because you like it. 
While you’re busy ogling him, Joel’s hands immediately reach to trace the floral lace pattern before toying with the little satin black bow at the center front. His rough, calloused hands slide up your bare thighs, wrapping his large hands around your thighs and he pries open your legs, his hazel eyes locked in on your center like a bullseye and you notice the cocky smirk he’s got plastered on his face, pleased with himself that he’s already got you wet for him. 
He brings two thick fingers to slide over your covered cunt. He feels the wetness on the material and he pulls back to look up at you and finds your attention on his fingers. “What a mess you made, pretty girl,” he murmurs. You’re watching the movement of his fingers, entranced by his fingers teasing your pussy as he glides them up and down your slit. He clicks his tongue at you, “so wet for me huh baby? Always so wet for me. So perfect,” he smirks to himself as he gently pulls your panties to the side, revealing your aching, needy cunt. He lowers his head placing gentle kisses on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his lips tracing and peppering your skin all the way towards your center, his mouth hovering over the place you need him most and you shiver beneath him. 
“Joel,” you whisper, he chuckles seeing you all worked up for him. “Baby please,” you whimper. 
“What is it baby?” he tuts, “use your words, sweet girl,” he tilts his head slightly with a smug grin on his face. His fingers move up and down your folds. 
“N-need them inside me, p-please,” you whimper as you claw at his forearms, clutching them for stability. 
“Alright baby, lemme taste her first,” He lays flat on his stomach, moves his arms under your legs, and hoists them up over his broad shoulders. He lowers his mouth onto your cunt and the tip of his tongue licks through your folds. He hums at the sweet taste of you on his tongue. He flattens his tongue and licks a long thick stripe and he groans lowly, the vibrations making you squirm under him. 
“Fuck, more baby,” you beg. You gasp at the hook of his nose bumping your clit. Your hands fly to his hair, eyes closing swiftly, brows furrowed as you let out a loud moan. 
“There she is,” he smirks. He flicks his tongue over your clit. His eyes slip closed as he relishes in the noises leaving your mouth, like music to his ears. Your hips buck up into his face, selfishly grinding your cunt for more. Joel’s eyes flicker back up your face, “eyes on me sweetheart,” he murmurs. Your eyes snap open to watch him as he brings his fingers back up to your cunt, two thick fingers dip into you and you can hear the wet squelch as he eases his fingers in, simultaneously, he circles his tongue around your clit. He pumps his fingers slowly in and out of you, his tongue lapping at your cunt. You feel the pressure building up more intensely inside of your belly and then you’re chanting his name as he curls his fingers inside you, petting at the spongy spot he knows will break you. He closes his mouth around your clit and he sucks hard. 
“Fuck, Joel, yes yes,” Your hips bucking up into his face, your legs start to shake as you come on his face and your cunt tightening around his fingers, a loud strangled moan filling the air. 
“That’s my girl,” he says as he watches you gasp above him, pressing a quick kiss to your clit. Your eyes flutter open just in time to see him removing his fingers, all wet and shiny, and putting them in his slick covered mouth, sucking them clean. 
Softly, he grabs your ankles, pulling you down towards the edge of the bed eliciting a giggle. His favorite sound…well one of his favorites. His favorite being the next sound that comes out of your mouth when he quickly pulls your panties down. He sees the wet shine of your cum in the center and his face lights up with glee. “You made such a mess ‘a your panties, baby,” he tuts before tossing them across the room. He unties the towel from his waist and lets it fall and it pools around his legs, revealing his thick, heavy cock, the tip angry and beads of precum seeping out of the slit. You place your hands around your thighs, slowly pulling them apart, presenting your already spent pussy to him once again and he groans roughly.
He leans forward, his fingers running through your folds once more, and you quiver at his touch. He gathers your cum on his fingers and strokes himself twice before he dips the wide tip of his cock inside of you. A whine leaves your lips. That. That was his favorite sound. He doesn’t push in further… he doesn’t move an inch. He’s teasing you…wants you to ask nicely for it. Like clockwork his voice laced with honey he says “Ask for it baby, ask for my cock.” 
Desperate, you whine again “please joel… I need your cock.” Your needy fingers trail lightly over his soft belly, sitting up slightly, you place soft kisses from his belly button down to the dark patch of hair above his cock, his body trembles at the feeling of your lips ghosting over his belly and a breathy moan escapes his lips. He laces his fingers with yours, bringing your hands near your head, his large form encompassing your smaller frame, he lowers himself down over you, his lips brushing against yours. “Baby, please. Please fuck my pussy” you mewl. He pushes his cock deeper, deeper, and deeper til the head of his cock kisses your cervix, provoking a loud groan from him against your ear as he nestles himself into you, where he belongs. 
“See baby all you had to do was ask politely” Joel cooes. He drags his hips back, leaving only his tip inside you once again and you clench around him. “Fuck, goddamn you’re fucking tight,” he grits. Slowly he starts thrusting his tip in and out. 
You whine again, “Baby don’t be mean. I want all of it.” 
“Shh..I know baby, I know,” he soothes. Then in one long single thrust, he wedges his cock back inside of you to the hilt, bottoming out into your cunt, hitting the spot that only he knows with a loud ragged groan into the crook of your neck. His cock is stretching you out, feeling every twitch, he’s everywhere and it’s overwhelming. He hitches your legs up towards your chest, opening you up more, your chest pressed tightly against his, he drags the weight of his cock languidly between your slick, moaning at the wet sound of his balls slapping against your ass fills the room. 
When you look up at him it’s like you can see a lightbulb go off in his head and before you know it, Joel’s large hands grab the swell of your ass, he picks you up, and repositions you both so he’s on his back and has you sitting on his thick cock. He wants you to ride him. In this position you can feel him in the deepest parts of your belly and it hurts just a little bit but you find pleasure in it, you always have.  
Leaning forward, you place your hands on the headboard and arching your back a bit more, Joel's head falls back down onto the pillows. At the sudden change of the angle, his eyes shut for just a second before he’s snapping them right back open. He doesn’t want to miss a single thing. He wants to see it all.  He watches how your breasts bounce as you move and quickly, he leans up to catch a nipple in his mouth. He’s licking and sucking all over your pebbled nipple and then his teeth graze along the hardened peak before swiftly pulling it between his teeth. He moves onto the other and he flicks his tongue over your nipple, he sucks and nips at it lightly before he lets your tit fall from his mouth, admiring the slight bounce of your breast before his eyes lock in on your face, watching your face contort and your mouth open while you seek your high. It's his favorite thing, watching you like this. 
“Jesus Christ, look at you, you’re takin’ me so well,” he groans. 
The grip of his hands on your hips tightens but doesn’t guide you, just seeks some ounce of control. You lean forward more so your clit brushes ever so slightly against the dark patch of curls at his base. The friction makes you approach your orgasm quickly. Joel’s eyes flicker down to where you two are connected, taking pleasure in seeing his cock splitting you open, watching as it disappears deep inside of you. 
“That’s it, baby. Fuck….use me. Fuck yourself on daddy’s cock, atta girl,” You roll your hips faster, grinding harder on his cock, greedy and desperate to come again. “C’mon baby, come all over my cock.” 
His words and your clit repeatedly pressing against him make your hips stutter and you clench around him as your orgasm finally washes over you, harder than before. Your body goes limp on his chest. Joel doesn’t let up, he grabs your thighs and lifts his hips, relentlessly fucking his cock up into you. His cock slams into you so hard the wet slapping sound of your bodies fills the room. 
You turn your head and press your lips to his ear, nipping at his earlobe, you spur him on “c’mon Joel, come for me baby,” you softly rasp. “C’mon baby, for me, do it for me love,” you whisper and he whimpers, his thrusts becoming faster, more erratic. You bite down on his shoulder to muffle the whines that leave your mouth as he fucks into you harder, your walls tighten around him, his cock twitches inside you before he hastily pulls out with a long pained groan and with his cock between your bodies, his cum spurts out, thick and warm, coating his stomach. A moment passes and you lower your lips down his chest, feeling the rough edges of his skin underneath your lips as you pepper open mouthed kisses along his strong torso, the soft skin of his belly, over the jagged scar on his lower abdomen, all the way down his happy trail, you feel him shiver beneath you. 
You sit up on his thighs, locking your eyes with his, you bring your fingers down to his cum on his stomach. You look back up at him, your gaze meeting his as you swirl your fingers twice in his spend and bring your shiny, sticky coated fingers up to your mouth, closing your lips around your fingers, sucking them clean. His mouth agape, he’s staring back at you while you use your fingers to lick up his cum, “dirty girl, one’a these days you’re gonna gimme a heart attack woman,” he groans. 
The memory of it all…you riding him, your naked breasts bouncing, his cock impaling you, watching it disappear inside you over and over, your cunt clamping down around his cock and the echo of your moans as you came last night playing in his head sends him hurtling over the edge.
His cock twitches in his hand, his other hand slamming down on the counter, he groans your name raggedly and his thighs quiver as he comes hard into his fist, harder than he ever has when jerking himself off. He pumps his release into your panties, hot, thick ropes of his cum painting your panties. His cum spurting out seemingly endless for a man his age. 
If you were here in front of him he would pull the fabric up over your thighs, making you wear your cum filled panties before going about the rest of your day.
But you’re not here so instead he brings the cum soaked panties up to his face, eyeing his spend and your wetness for a moment. He stops himself and contemplates the idea in his head as he eyes the glistening sheen over the center. Just as quickly as the thought infiltrated his head, he decides against it and bunches up the thin material and tosses them in the old laundry basket sat in the corner of your shared bathroom. Joel tucks himself back into his jeans, washes his hands, limping slightly as he walks out of your bedroom and closes the door behind him leaving your laundry for another day.
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boiohboii · 8 months
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Protective girl (Charles Leclerc x reader)
Inspires by @charles-eclair16 's fic
When fans go too far, yn wants to protect the one treasure in her life
or
in which we finally get to see the roles reversed
N.B: this is been in my drafts for so long, omg! Let me know what you guys think!! WARNING: not proof read, some swear words, might have messed up a date, don't focus on any dates mentioned, this is all fictional anyways. Hope you guys like it
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Liked by Arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 1,379,064 others
itsmeyn: charles always goes above and beyond for every single fan of his, he tries to take as many pictures and sign as many autographs as possible, but what happened last night was a fucking joke. He doesn't like what I'm writing cause he says that it was just a mistake and that it was fine, but it really isn't, it's so disrespectful and disgusting! He always wants to meet his fans and make them happy only to receive this insanity, him falling AND HURTING HIMSELF because some of you can't fucking wait and be organized like a human being! Charles isn't an animal in a zoo where you race to pet him! He is a human being, he is a son, a brother and a boyfriend! This wasn't just an accident, i have seen these 6 girls multiple times in multiple places! it's so obsessive and so so sick of you to follow him everywhere.... Charles won't speak up because he is Charles and he lives seeing the good in people, but I will tear everything and everyone for his safety, so for you 6 girls you will be hearing from court soon so better prepare a good lawyer you assholes!
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Liked by leclercboy, ynistheitgurl, fuckferarri and 91,739 others
F1_updates_live: Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, YN LN, seen today arriving in front of the UK's courthouse in a red SF9 Ferarri. It had been quite a week for YN as she was seen hitting a fan after the said fan pushed Charles. YN took this fan and 5 others to court, no one knows on what bases but what has come out is that she has won the case which means that Charles and YN have restraining orders against the group.
username: OHH HEEEELLL YEAAAAAHH
username: yn doing God's work
username: yn serving justice
username: that's what we needed
username: hot girl shit
username: the car and suit combo is so fucking hot of her
username: I think this is too much, like these girls just wanted to see Charles
username: @.itsmeyn can we make them 7?
username: another one
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Liked by Charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, pierregasly and 617,829 others
itsmeyn: don't blame me, love made me crazy
username: YN IS A FELLOW SWIFTIE?!?!?
username: if I had a nickel for everytime yn and I had something in common I'd have 2 nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice
username: now I just want her to watch all the charles edits done with a taylor song
itsmeyn: who says i already don't 🌚
username: and I oop-
username: THIS IS THE SWEETEST AND CRINGIEST SHIT EVER!
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Liked by wolfffam, maxverstappen1, lance_stroll and 817,629 others
itsmeyn: congratulations to my baby, the love of my life, you deserve it and so much more ♥️♥️
username: FINALLY!!
username: idk how to react, ferarri has let us down too many times that all I know is lose
username: I don't see how he deserves it tbh, all of his results are shit for quite a while , he's only where he is cause he's driving a ferarri 🤷‍♂️
itsmeyn: oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the one in a formula one car, in a ferarri, that by the words of many professionals is at its worse era. I don't care about you and your opinion but don't state it as a fact, no one can do better with these strategies. I hate to keep saying this but when your own fucking team doesn't have the same dream as you it turns to shit. Even if charles is the only one in the car, it's still a team sport, not a one man sport. Fuck you and your tiny ass brain that can never survive one lap in a formula one car, it'll probably explode cause of all the bullshit in it before the first lap anyway. So next time you wanna talk shit maybe try to do fifth of who you're criticising is doing, I bet that'll shut you up real quick you dimwit.
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Liked by leclercpascale, pilotesofmonaco, tswiftyn, and 52,719 others
F1_updates_live: YN LN, Charles' long time girlfriend, seen today fighting Xavi in Bahrain due to his mistake on the radio which resulted in Charles losing his podium position.
username: good for her
username: charles is so lucky
username: I love how she always stands up for him
username: honestly, whenever charles or carlos ignore the strategies they win... I really wanna see more of that.
username: this is just Monaco 2024 GP all over again, yn was so fucking furious (rightfully so) cause Xavi's mistake costed charles a p1 in his home race.
username: this shit was so heartbreaking man
username: I think this was the first time we ever saw yn angry at sabotaging charles, like the most we saw was her holding his hand when crossing the street, making sure he eats first, playing with his hair when nervous, but I've never seen yn make someone literally cry until 2024 with Xavi being her victim
username: pffft, victim, he 100% deserved it
username: oh yeah, definitely. All my homes hate Xavi, like can you not say the strategy properly 😒
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builtbybrokenbells · 3 months
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Reaching New Heights
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While under the impression that she has the house to herself, y/n enjoys some much needed alone time. Jake, planning on coming home to surprise her, walks himself straight into a whole new world.
Based off this request 🤍
Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Word Count: 11k
Warnings: SMUT 18+, virgin reader/losing virginity, unprotected sex, oral (f!receiving), fingering (f!receiving), masturbating (f!receiving), simultaneous orgasm, multiple orgasm, very soft dom type beat, slight cockwarming if you squint, dry humping, touch of spit play, touch of voyeurism, praise, dirty talk, name calling, begging, very very sweet Jake ☹️, anxiety, fluff, swearing, talks of bad dating experiences, sorry if I miss any!
thank to the lovely anon who requested this! sorry for all of my other requests waiting, I promise I’m getting there! I had an idea like this already sitting in the drafts, so when I saw this request I had to write it! I hope this is what you were looking for, and I do apologize for this basically just being pwp. As always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes! 🤍 (extremely lightly edited)
Intimacy, especially in the sexual context, had always been a touchy subject for you. It wasn’t because of any moral dilemmas, nor because of bad past experiences. You weren’t saving yourself for marriage, and you did not value your virginity as a ‘virtue’. You simply chose not to engage because you had never met anyone who you believed was right for you. You had plenty of dates and failed talking stages with men who only ever seemed interested in getting in your pants, but you had never met someone who seemed interested in you beyond anything sexual. You wanted to explore, to test your own limits and discover yourself with another person, but you could not bring yourself to undress for someone who only wanted (and planned) to leave after the fact.
You were comfortable with your own routine, and after a while it seemed more likely that you would remain a virgin until your hair turned gray and you were sat in a nursing home. At first, it bothered you, but then it became the most normal part of your life. You would rather keep to yourself than give away a part of you to someone who would not appreciate it. Most people weren’t interested in dating once you specified that you would not put out on the first date, and to you, that was okay; they weren’t worth your time or effort. Life was simple without anyone else empeding on your routine, anyway.
Then, one fateful day at a lovely, locally owned music store, you found yourself in front of someone who changed your world entirely, flipping it on its axis and throwing your whole life off course. You had (literally) run into him when you were least expecting it; he had stepped in front of you as you were bustling to the counter to pay for your handful of vinyl records. He apologized profusely, landing a gentle hand on your arm to make sure you were steady on your feet and he hadn’t hurt you. You were too enthralled in the beauty of his face to comprehend the words he was speaking, anyway. His long brown hair hung down to frame his face, and his warm, chocolate coloured eyes seemed to be staring straight into your soul. His smile was inviting, and his charm was unexplainable. He’d made you fall for him without even trying.
Once you managed to overcome your nervous staring, you forced a smile and assured him you were alright. He introduced himself, hesitant to believe you were telling the truth, and insisted on buying your records for you as an apology. After a drawn out back-and-forth argument, he eventually managed to convince you that it was the only apology he would allow for himself. Before you ventured to the counter, you took interest in the specific guitar he was fawning over on the wall. After explaining the details to you, you were left feeling disappointed at the prospect of having to part with him once you stepped out the door.
He ended up buying your records, and the guitar hanging on the wall, but he didn’t seem to want to let you leave without anything more, either.
So, instead of going your separate ways, you ended up at a diner just down the street, sharing lunch and getting to know each other as best as you could in the limited time you had. Laughs were plentiful and fulfillment was felt from all sides. Jake Kiszka was the man you had been waiting for, someone who saw you as a person, not just something to fuck. He was interested in every small detail, and he wanted to know everything he could about you. He was a bit shy, and very nervous, but he was sweet, kind, and he took your breath away. When you left the restaurant, you had a new found excitement for life, and a phone number in your contact list that would now be called on the daily.
At first, the relationship was built slowly and carefully. The two of you started as friends, texting each other regularly and trying your best to discover all of the intimate details about each other. Then, when you guys built up enough courage, you started going on small dates; movie nights, dinner dates, Sunday afternoon drives… you wanted to do anything and everything with him. He quickly became your closest friend and your most trusted confidant. You spent so much time together that it was almost strange not being in the same place. Of course, eventually, his time to tour came around, and it threw your life so violently off track that it was nearly hard to function.
When he first told you, you tried to force a smile and pretend all was well, but he knew you better than that. He could see the sadness in your eyes, and the apprehension. You were both so head over heels for each other that it made it hard to think of anything else. All of the late night phone calls and evenings spent immersed in each other had finally resulted in something much bigger. You were in love, and you were terrified for him to leave you. You feared that once he was gone, he would find someone more exciting, more interesting. Little did you know, he was afraid of all the same things.
So, as you sat in his living room while he packed up the last of his things, he dropped a sly comment about you taking care of his place while he was gone, coming over and watering his plants, and even staying the night if you missed him too much. It was his indirect way of giving you a key to his house, and in turn, his heart. He slipped the spare key from his pocket, handing it over and giving you a smile. Before he went to the airport, you found yourselves confessing your hearts and kissing with tears running down your face. He asked you to be his girlfriend before he ever got on the plane.
Every night, when he was holed up in a different hotel room, he was calling you with excitement, unable to wait to tell you all about his day. It was a different kind of feeling, falling in love with someone without anything other than emotional connection. After a year of touring and only being home with you for a few days at a time, he was growing restless and more eager to be with you again. By the time he got home from traveling the world, he missed you so much that he rarely let you leave his side. Within a few months, your belongings were packed up and ready to be taken to his house, and not long after that, it was no longer just Jake’s house, it was yours, too.
When the two of you were together, it grew increasingly more difficult to navigate your lack of sexual experience. He was very affectionate, his hands always on you and kissing you whenever he could. You felt that he was getting frustrated with your rejections, and it forced you into a corner. You had to open up to him, to tell him the truth and that your avoidance was not because of him at all. You sat him down not long after the two of you moved in together, knowing that you should have confessed to him sooner, and fearful that it would change the way he viewed you.
But, almost as if Jake was put on the earth to challenge every single previous idea you had about men, he smiled and held you, expressing his gratitude that you were comfortable enough to share such things with him. He fell in love with you without sex, and that did not change anything for him. You were worth much more to him than that, and he wanted to make sure you knew it. He thanked you for telling him, and he apologized if he ever made you uncomfortable with his actions before your discussion. He promised that he would never push you, and you could take as much time as you needed to open up and explore that with him.
He was a dream come true, and after a few months, you could easily see that he was determined to stay true to his word. He didn’t once make you feel bad for wanting to wait a little longer, and he never pushed you to do anything that made you uncomfortable. Soon after, you began to realize that Jake truly was the one for you, and that all of your previous fears were quickly becoming obsolete. He did not want you for sex; he loved you for your heart, and when you were ready, he would love you for everything else, too.
Even while you found yourself amidst heated make out sessions, and you could feel how much he wanted you, he never pushed you further. When you laid in bed, and he inevitably found his hands becoming more and more curious, he stopped himself before you even had to say anything. He looked the other way when you were getting changed, and even closed his eyes and left the room if he accidentally walked in on you in an awkward position. He was the epitome of patience and kindness, and the longer you watched him respect you in such a way, the harder you fell for him.
You made sure to thank him often, expressing your appreciation for his patience and his willingness to wait. He valued you so highly, and your comfort was always his top priority. Sometimes, you feared that if you made him wait too long, he would begin to lose interest, but every day he proved to you that he was in it for the long haul. He wanted to be with you, and it did not matter in which way. He loved you, and if waiting made you most comfortable, then he would wait forever for you. It quickly became apparent to you that he was the love of your life, and the prospect of sharing that part of you became more enticing every single day.
It was not like you didn’t want to have sex with Jake; if anything, you wanted it so badly that it made it hard to think of anything else sometimes. Once the fear faded away, it was replaced with awkwardness and uncertainty on the topic. You feared that because of your lack of experience, it would be disappointing for him. There were so many questions that you did not know the answer to, and they plagued you almost every time you thought about it. What if he thought you were stupid because you didn't know what you were doing? What if he wasn’t interested in you once you took your clothes off? What if you did nothing but embarrass yourself?
It was all too much sometimes, and you knew the best way to deal with it was to talk to him, but the topic was daunting for you, and it was embarrassing. It was something you knew little about, and it made you feel silly and even a little naïve. You didn’t know what you liked, and you certainly didn’t know how to do anything that he liked. You knew that with the patience that Jake had shown you, he would be nothing but kind in bed, and he would certainly help you figure everything out, but it was so scary to think about, and it was easier for you to avoid it. You were afraid of looking dumb, and the fear hindered you more than anything else. In the time you spent with him, it became more clear that Jake was what you’d been waiting for the whole time, but now you were facing a whole new challenge; being vulnerable enough to let him show you the ropes.
Every so often, curiosity got the best of you, and you let your eyes linger on him a little too long when he was shirtless, and an unfamiliar feeling would blossom in your stomach. He would move a certain way, or his hand would move a little too far up your thigh, and you would be plagued with temptation to touch him. He would wear certain clothes that would drive you crazy when you looked at him for long enough, and it was becoming harder to ignore every single day. He was what you wanted, and it was so difficult to feel that way when you felt paralyzed at the thought of progressing any further. Jake was driving you crazy, and he wasn’t even doing it intentionally; he was just existing, and that was enough to push you closer and closer to the edge.
Like when he would stretch, and a peek of his tanned stomach would be visible, showing you his treasure trail and a slight hint of a v-line, or when he was sleeping so soundly and turned on to his side to pull you to his chest. The feeling of his body against yours was intense, and the longer he held you to him, he more turned on he would get. An ache would begin between your legs as he slept soundly behind you, his erection pressing into your ass. He wouldn’t even realize it, but he would pull you closer to relieve the ache and give him some much needed friction. You would let it play out; you enjoyed it so much, but you could not seem to voice that to him while he was awake. When he woke and realized the extent of his actions, he apologized profusely while you continued to imagine what it would be like if he kept going, pulling your shorts down just enough to give himself access to you.
You imagined what it would feel like as he rested himself against your entrance, speaking softly in your ear as he talked you through it. How he would put his fingers in his mouth, collecting enough spit to lubricate them before his hand drifted between your thighs. You wondered what it would feel like for his fingers to be tracing around your clit instead of your own, how excited he would be just from touching you alone. Your skin tingled at the thought of his rough fingertips gently working at you as he whispered encouragement in your ear, eventually working you up enough to add his cock to you, too. The picture of him being inside you was too much to bear, and just the thought of feeling so close to him was intoxicating. You had to force a smile on your face while apologized, assuring him you were alright while you thought of all of the filthy things that he could be doing to you. You wanted it so bad, but when you finally found enough courage to ask that of him, the words seemed to get stuck in your throat.
When he would leave for errands, or when he would go to work in the mornings, you would think back on the incidents that caused the flutter in your belly. The longer you focused on it, the more uncomfortable you became. You would work yourself up to the point of no return, and you would have to relieve yourself before Jake got back. In your shared bed, you would let your hand slip between your legs as you thought of all of the things Jake did to you without even knowing it. It wouldn’t take long until you were a mess, muttering his name as you reached a climax that was stronger than any you’d ever felt before.
It was almost routine, now. You were so needy that every time Jake stepped out for a moment, you would have to take the time and get yourself off. It was the only way you could keep up with the temptations without having to open up to him about it. He would come home, and you would smile and kiss him as if your fingers hadn’t just been playing with your own cunt while you imagined it was him doing it, instead.
This small ritual was exactly what happened on that specific day; you had grown so comfortable with it that when Jake left for the studio in the morning, you couldn’t wait to finish your household chores so you could cut straight to the point. You kissed him goodbye, wishing him a good day, and watched as he walked to his car, guitar case in his hand as he blew a kiss to you over his shoulder. The jeans he was wearing were tight, hugging every inch of his legs and showcasing every small detail to you. The denim sat nicely over his ass, and unfortunately for you, every other part of him that you tried your best not to think about. His shirt was old, the button up beginning to fray at the sleeves and the fabric becoming thin and worn. He had the last two buttons done, but left the top open as always. The soft, tanned skin of his chest made your mouth water and your stomach twist with desire. You did not know how much longer you could hold yourself back.
He got in his car and drove away, but you stayed at the door, watching the now empty space for a moment longer while you collected your thoughts. You were so worked up that your cheeks were burning and your heart was thudding dramatically against your chest. You forced yourself to shower, taking some extra time to shave and really make yourself feel good. You did the dishes, and you grabbed something to eat, and you wondered if you might be able to curb the urge that day. Once you were away from him and busy with other things, the need seemed so much smaller.
As you sat down to eat, you knew that it was absolutely impossible to ignore such a feeling, because the minute your mind was left without a distraction, Jake was the only thing it wanted to focus on. You forced your lunch into you, remembering that Jake said his day at the studio might be a little longer than the last. You had ample time to really draw the whole experience out, so that’s what you did. When you made it to your bedroom, you knew you had about an hour until he was home again. You took off your clothes, put on some music, only quietly so you could hear if the front door opened, you turned off the lights, and you laid on his side of the bed. You closed your eyes, breathing slowly as you remembered the morning the two of you spent together. It started sweet, like always.
You woke up with Jake next to you, the scent of his shampoo lingering in the sheets as the soft sounds of his snores filled your ears. You looked back over your shoulder at him, smiling as you admired the peaceful expression on his face. He was shirtless, as always, only a pair of boxers on as the comforter covered up his lower half. You watched his chest rise and fall as he breathed, and his stomach, too. You knew you shouldn’t have looked for so long, because the longer you stared, the more curious you became. You reached out, settling your hand on his stomach gently, a little lower than you usually would. You let your fingers drift over the skin, sending a light tickle through him. He tensed slightly at the feeling, but did not wake. After a few seconds, he woke up just enough to realize it was you touching him.
He moved onto his side, draping an arm over your waist as he pulled you closer to him. Every morning went the same, and you looked forward to it every day. He guided you into him, resting your back against his bare chest. His warmth was comforting, and you wished to live in the moment forever. His hand that was wrapped around you drifted underneath your shirt, resting on your stomach as he brought you even closer to him. The curve of your ass fit perfectly against his hips and his nose was brushing against your shoulder. His head was buried in the crook of your neck as he placed a gentle kiss on it. The sensation sent a shiver down your spine and you closed your eyes. He seemed more awake than he usually was, but not completely aware.
You brought your hand under your shirt, too, resting it on top of his own. Once you felt like he’d drifted off to sleep again, you guided his hand upwards even further, so it was resting on your rib cage just below your breast. You wanted to take it further, but instead, you pushed your ass back into him a little. In his sleepy state, the small feeling prompted a physical reaction. His breathing quickened, but he didn’t move any further. For a moment, you had to question if he was awake too, or if he was stuck in a dream about the exact position you were laying in. His rough fingertips against your skin was intoxicating, and you needed more, but you were too afraid to wake him and tell him so.
You moved your hips against him again, feeling his fingers tighten against you. His knuckles brushed against the underside of your breast, and even in a sleeping state, he could recognize that feeling from anywhere. On his own, he moved his hand up further, cupping it in his palm as his head nuzzled further into your neck. Your breath caught in your throat and that familiar feeling began to pulse in the pit of your stomach. His grip grew stronger, and for a moment, you really did believe that he was awake. His thumb drifted over your hardened nipple, causing your hips to move against him again.
You could feel his erection growing against you, becoming more noticeable as each second passed. You squeezed your thighs together, feeling the ache begin to make itself known. Your breathing sped, and your heart pounded against your chest. His hand stayed on your chest for only a moment until a small noise escaped him, his own need showing even while he was asleep. His hand traveled down your body, landing on your hip as he pulled you back on him. Your breath caught in your throat as you tried to keep yourself quiet. You bit down on your lip, scared to make a sound in case he woke and the moment ended.
His fingers held you tightly as he pulled you back on to him, his cock painfully hard as his hips moved against your ass. The throbbing between your legs was unbearable, and you could only imagine that he was feeling the same type of desperation amidst his dreams. Then, as your heart raced, you heard him whisper your name so delicately that a shiver ran down your spine. He wasn’t just dreaming of sex; he was dreaming of you.
Instead of focusing on what came after, when he woke up with embarrassment written in his features and apologies on his tongue, you pretended what it would be like if you had the courage to tell him to keep going. As you thought of it, you let your hand slip between your thighs. You were already aching for relief, your arousal pooling and showing you just how bad you needed him. You let your middle finger begin tracing slow circles around your clit as your mind clung to thoughts of Jake and just how much you wanted him to take care of you.
You imagined his dark eyes growing heavy as he woke, apologizing being the last thing on his mind. You imagined the desperation in his movement as his fingers dipped below your shorts, moving back from you only for long enough to pull them down over your ass. You thought about how good it would feel to have his hand drift to your cunt, relieving the ache that he’d become so good at causing. You didn’t want him to ask if it was okay, or for any type of permission. You wanted him to have you however he wanted, and you would just be thankful that he was giving you anything at all.
“How does that feel, Angel?” He asked, his voice raspy and rough from sleep as his fingers trace around your aching clit. “Does that feel good? Is this what you want?”
“F-fuck, yes, Jake.” You whine, moving your hips forward to meet his hand, so needy and he barely even touched you yet.
“Just want me to take care of you, baby? Need me to show you how good I can make you feel?” His normally sweet and doting personality was gone, replaced with an animalistic desire after waiting so long to have you. You could feel his cock pressing into your ass, still aching to be touched. He needed you so bad that it was impossible to hide it. “You know I’ll always take care of you, sweet girl… give you anything you want.”
“Y-you, Jake. I want you.” You pleaded, feeling yourself clench around nothing. You wanted him so badly, and you weren’t sure if you could wait any longer.
“You want me, sweetheart?” He crooned, the sound of your desperation sending a shiver down his spine. “You want me to fuck you?”
“Yes please,” you plead, feeling your stomach twist with pleasure.
“Since you asked so nicely,” he whispered, his tone resembling a growl. He drew his hand from you, pulling his boxers down just enough to free himself. He brought his hand to his mouth, spitting on it and stroking himself for a few moments. He moved his hips forward, resting the tip of his cock against your entrance. “How bad do you want it, sweetheart.” His low tone settled deep in your bones, making your entire body quiver.
“So bad, Jake. I need you.” You squeeze your eyes shut, your breath stuck in your throat as you feel him push inside of you.
You worked yourself up to the point of absolute desperation. You felt like you were on the brink of insanity, your skin was on fire and your mind was a mess with thoughts of the boy you were so in love with. You were so deep in the fantasy that you could feel it, as if he was in front of you, touching you and pushing you closer and closer to the edge. You were sweating, your heart racing and your stomach twisted into knots. You needed to let go, but more than that, you needed him.
Little to your knowledge, Jake was unlocking the front door, a sneaky smile on his face as a bouquet of flowers was held tightly in his hand. He’d been planning this all week; coming home from the studio early to surprise you, just to see the look on your face. He’d been working more often than usual as of late, and he felt like he wasn’t spending enough time with you. He’d specifically told you he’d be later than he actually would be, just so he wouldn’t ruin the element of shock. When he unlocked the door and stepped inside, he expected to be greeted by you soon after. His confusion grew as he looked to the kitchen and did not see you there. Next, he checked the living room, wondering if you were curled up on the couch reading a book.
When he couldn’t find you there, he figured the only other place you would be is the bedroom. Your car was outside, and you hadn’t mentioned having to run any errands that day. He took to the stairs, wondering if you decided to take a nap or watch a movie in bed. As he climbed to the top of the stairs, he noticed the soft drift of music through the door. He smiled to himself, knowing he would find you wrapped up in blankets and dozing away the day. He could curl up next to you, holding you close while you slept, and maybe even fall asleep beside you. As he reached the door, he was about to reach out and turn the knob, but he froze in his tracks.
An unfamiliar, incredibly enticing sound reached his ears. It was muffled, barely heard over the speaker and through the closed door, but he caught it. Instead of interrupting, he waited and listened, wondering if his ears were deceiving him. He moved his head closer to the door, nearly pressing his ear against the hollow wood as he strained to hear, trying to piece together the situation.
You were so lost in your own little world that you did not hear the door open downstairs, nor did you hear his footsteps in the hallway. You were so close to an orgasm that not much could distract you from it. Your eyes were shut, your breathing labored as you pictured how softly his hands would drift over the curves of your hips, and how intoxicating his tongue on your skin would feel. You thought of the sweet words rolling off his tongue, the imaginary praise and encouragement driving you even closer to a climax. He would be so sweet, so attentive and caring, and you knew he’d make you feel better than you ever had before. You couldn’t help it, the moans falling from your lips were obscene and his name was delicately mixed within them as if he was in there with you, causing the pleasure himself.
He listened carefully, his cheeks flushing with pleasure at the sound of pleasure stuck on your lips. Desire filled him, running all the way from his throat down to his stomach. It made his chest burn and his skin tingle with excitement. In an instant, he’d forgotten about the romantic gesture and the flowers in his hand; he was only focused on wanting to be the reason those sounds were laced around your tongue. He didn’t want to interrupt, and he feared that if he opened the door, he would embarrass you to death. He worried about overstepping, and he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but the sounds were so beautiful that it made his head spin. He tried to force himself to stop listening, fearing he was breaching your trust and invading your privacy, but he couldn’t will himself to walk away.
He was growing increasingly frustrated as he stood and listened, his heart pounding against his chest and his whole body aching with desire. He could feel himself growing more turned on, his cock pressing against the zipper of his jeans as his own desperation became stronger. He palmed himself through the fabric, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He knew he should walk away, leave you alone to finish up and go take care of his own problem. It was the right thing to do, and he knew that, but the idea of you touching yourself, possibly to the thought of him, was so enticing.
Just as he thought he could find the strength to walk away, he heard the sound, so gentle and loving that he could not withstand it any longer.
“Oh god, Jake.” You whined, the sound floating through the door and settling deep in his chest. “Jake…”
It was too much for him. His hand shot out, clasping around the doorknob as he gently pushed it open. The light flooded the room, illuminating you laying so intimately on his side of the bed. Your cheeks were flushed, blotchy with red patches. A thin layer of sweat had formed over your body, only making you all the more beautiful to him. Your lips were parted, his name still caught on your tongue as your hand was settled between your legs, working intently at your cunt. Your head turned to the side, your eyes wide with shock as you tried to process the sudden change in the situation. You were so caught up in pleasure that your hand didn’t even move away from your clit as you locked eyes with him.
Suddenly, your brain seemed to catch up with the situation, and embarrassment began to take over. You panicked, scrambling to move your hand away and cover yourself with the blanket, but he took a step closer and shook his head, speaking lowly to you.
“Don’t be shy, Angel.” He rasped, looking down over you with dark eyes. The man before you seemed to be a stranger, nothing like he was in the morning before he left, but in the best possible way. The calm, domineering tone was so different, but it was fantastic all in the same. He looked down at you, his lips curled into a slight smirk as he stood over you at the foot of the bed. The desire he’d been holding back for so long seemed to be coming to the surface. He couldn’t help himself, and a part of you was thankful for it. “Don’t stop, sweetheart. You can put on such a good show.” His eyes lingered over your face, watching you closely to see if you were uncomfortable. Instead of discomfort, you seemed curious, excited, even.
And you were. You didn’t intend for the situation to turn into this, but perhaps it was the best possible outcome. You had been so afraid to have sex with Jake, and for reasons that were completely irrelevant. He was the man you’d fallen so deeply in love with, and someone you wanted to share this part of you with, too. Him walking in on you allowed you to avoid the awkward conversations and nervous stuttering, because you were already worked up to the point of no return. This made the part you were dreading so much easier, and the look in his eye made you feel foolish for ever thinking he wouldn’t love your body just as much as he loved your heart. Something in his expression told you that he would give you all of the direction you needed if you allowed him to do so.
Slowly, you pushed the blanket away from your body, returning your hand to its earlier position. You continued holding his gaze as you brought your middle finger back to your clit, tracing slow circles while he gave you a smile of satisfaction.
“So this is what you get up to when I’m gone all day?” He asked, his tone low and gravelly. He was so overcome with lust that it was impossible to think of anything else. “As soon as I leave, you come up here and play with that pretty little cunt, without me?” His expression was stern, his jaw tense as his teeth clenched together. You could see his cock strained against his pants, and the fact that he was really standing before you rather than existing in your imagination was making the pleasure all the more intense. His words were filthy, but for some reason, it didn’t seem to scare you. You’d been fantasizing about words like that coming from his mouth since the first day you met him.
“Y-yeah,” you nod, stuttering slightly. He didn’t care, nor did he notice, anyway. Your embarrassment was growing smaller with every passing second, and the desire in his eyes made the whole thing seem less terrifying. To see him want you so badly made your stomach twist into knots. He gave you a small smile at the word, happy to see that you weren’t shutting him out. The small expression was enough encouragement for you to keep going.
“Do you think of me, Angel?” He asked, his gaze flickering down to your hand, working carefully to build yourself back up to an orgasm. “Do you wish that I was here doing it, instead?” He asked, reaching one hand down to his cock, adjusting himself in his pants to make it more comfortable while he watched. Your eyes were fixated on his hand, cheeks red at the thought. You wanted to see more, but you weren’t sure what to do next. You were so out of your comfort zone, but something about being able to do it with Jake made it all the more easier. “Come on, baby. Talk to me.” His voice was softer, now, showing you that he was willing to help you through it.
“I-I do,” you nod, catching his eye again. Somewhere in his pupil, he was trying to tell you that it was okay, and you believed it.
“You want to show me what you do when I’m not here?” He asked, gauging your comfort level with his questions.
“Yeah, okay.” You breathe, nodding again. He gave you another smile, licking his lips slightly. To see him look at you in such a way was almost too much to resist. Instead of jumping straight into it, you let him talk you through it, slowly and steadily.
“Keep touching yourself, sweetheart. Just like that.” He said, watching as your hand worked at your cunt. “Then, once you finish, maybe I can show you what it’s like when someone else does it for you.” He posed it like a statement, but he was asking for permission. He needed to touch you so badly, but only if you wanted him to.
“Yes, please.” You whisper, excited at the thought. You were already so close to the edge, spending the last half an hour working yourself up to a climax. The intrusion slowed down your progress, but definitely did not stop it completely. As you finger drifted over your clit, your stomach was burning with the familiar feeling, but it seemed so much more intense than before now that he was watching you. Your eyes fluttered closed as you could feel the pull of pleasure again, your chest rising and falling with your heavy breathing.
“That’s it, baby. Doing such a good job for me.” He said, but it was strained. He wanted to be the one driving you crazy, and it was nearly torture having to watch you and not touch you. You try to hold your moans back, scared to embarrass yourself, but he thought that your state was all but shameful. He thought you were gorgeous, and he felt so lucky to be able to see you like this at all. “Let me hear those pretty noises again, sweet girl.” He pleaded, taking a step closer to the bed. “Don’t be shy with me.” At his permission, your lips parted and a soft moan filled the air. The sound alone nearly drove him to insanity. He watched you carefully, noticing as the muscles in your stomach tensed with every wave of pleasure. He wanted to remember the way you looked in that moment forever.
You were so close to an orgasm, and the desperation was evident in your movements and your voice. He needed it like the starving needed food, and he couldn’t wait much longer. He leaned down over you on the bed, letting his hand drift over your exposed thigh, the touch light but electric.
“Fuck, Jake.” You expressed your thoughts, feeling the pleasure pulsing under your skin and throughout your entire body.
“Look at me, baby.” He said, wanting you to open your eyes. You did as he said, catching the warm brown of his irises and feeling the warmth flood you. Your breath caught in your throat, and your muscles constricted. You were so close, and him looking at you in such a way made it all the more intense. “Let go,” he hummed, giving you a smile. His eyes were heavy and his chest was heaving with every breath. “Come for me, Angel.” And you did, your limbs trembling as the pleasure took hold. You’d never felt like that in your entire life, and it was so intense that it made your head spin and your chest burn. You didn’t think it was possible to feel such a way, but as you looked into Jake’s eyes, you knew it was all because of him. “That’s my girl.” He sighed, leaning down and pressing his lips to the inside of your thigh.
The feeling made you melt into his touch, his lips so delicate against your warm skin. You wanted more; suddenly, your own hand wasn’t enough. You needed him to do it for you, to feel what it was like when he touched you. You reached down, cupping his cheek in your hand as you let your thumb drift over his cheek. He hummed against you, still focused on the feeling of your thigh against his mouth. The longer he left them there, kissing a trail upwards, the sloppier he became. He sucked light marks into the delicate skin as his hand found your hip, pulling you down on the mattress towards him. He wanted you to feel admired, to know how strongly he felt for you. He wanted you to know that the situation did not have to be scary, and he only wanted to make you feel good. He was there for you, and his pleasure came second to all of your needs.
You watched him as he did all he could to showcase his admiration. You were still aching to be touched, the orgasm you had given yourself long gone and barely enough to keep you satisfied. You needed to feel him, you needed him to bring you to such pleasure, and you couldn’t believe you waited so long to feel him like this.
“Are you okay with this, baby?” He asked, looking up to you with his eyes nearly closed from the weight of lust in his stare.
“Yeah, I am.” You assured him. “I’m… I'm okay.”
“You tell me if you need me or want me to stop, okay?” He ordered, settling on his stomach between your legs. “Even if you just want me to slow down… I need you to tell me, sweetheart. Can you do that?” You hummed a response of agreement, but he didn’t move any further. “I need to hear the words, honey.”
“I will, Jake. I promise.” He gave you a soft smile, looking over your face to search for any discomfort. When he saw only excitement, he brought his own hand between your legs. Carefully, he brought his fingers to you, gathering your arousal on his fingers before bringing them to your clit. The feeling was foreign, but as soon as his fingers landed on the sensitive bundle of nerves, the unfamiliarity quickly became obsolete. His rough, calloused fingertips moved slowly over you as his eyes stayed on your face. It was immediately pleasant, way more so than your own hands doing the work.
“How’s that, Angel?” He hummed, his eyes flickering down to his hand that was working at you. His mouth watered from the sight, but he held himself back from going any further until you were comfortable.
“S-so good.” You whined, looking down at his face. The sight of his eyes fixated on your cunt made your stomach burn with desire. All of the fear you felt before was gone; you should have known better than to think Jake would view you as anything other than gorgeous.
“You want me to keep going?” He asked, looking back up at you.
“Yes, please.” You breathed, nodding at him. He gave you a smile, adding a little more pressure to his thumb. The sensation caused you to move your hips down on his hand, searching for more. He kept the pace for a moment, before sliding his thumb in place of his middle finger. He rested his middle and index finger against your entrance, waiting to see your reaction before doing anything else.
“Is this okay?”
“G-god, yes.” You nodded, still sensitive from your first orgasm. Everything he was doing felt fantastic, and you never wanted him to stop. Before going any further, he leaned forward and let a trail of spit fall from his lips to his fingers, making sure that it wouldn’t be uncomfortable for you. You watched, feeling a flutter of emotion rush to your core at the sight. He gave you a small smirk, noticing the reaction. Slowly, he added one finger first, wanting you to grow comfortable with the feeling before going any further. Once he knew you were alright, he added a second.
“There you go, beautiful.” He smiled, noticing your eyebrows furrow with pleasure as a moan fell from your lips. Gently, he pumped his fingers into you a few times, spitting on his hand once again to lubricate them further. “God, you have no idea how much I thought about doing this.” He muttered, more to himself than you.
“Y-you… you think about this?” You asked, your cheeks turning red at the thought.
“Think about it?” He nearly scoffed. “Baby, I dream about it.” He corrected, curling his fingers upwards slightly as his thumb brushed over your clit. You let out a sharp breath, the feeling unfamiliar but incredibly pleasant. “I think about making you feel good, and about how pretty I knew you would look while you cum…” he trailed off, driving himself crazy at his own words. “About how good you’d taste, and how good you’d feel…” he cut himself off, realizing he might be too obscene for you at the moment. You looked down at him, almost as if you were pleading with him to keep going. The knowledge that he thought about you the same way you thought about him made your heart skip a beat. “How good you’d feel wrapped around my cock.” He finished, stronger and more confident. He could feel your walls clench around his finger at the sound of his words.
“I think about you, too, Jake.” You confessed, closing your eyes and letting your head fall back on the pillow. The pleasure was more intense than anything you’d felt before, and his words were making it all the more satisfying.
“Yeah? You think about me touching you like this?” He paused his thoughts, increasing his pace ever so slightly. “Such a dirty little thing.” He teased, smiling up at your blushed face. “I love it.” He made sure that you knew that more than anything else. “How does this feel, gorgeous?”
“It feels so good, Jake.” You assure him, hoping that he won’t stop.
“Can I try something?” He asks, leaning down and pressing a few more kisses into your thighs.
“Y-yeah, okay.” You nod, unsure of what he had in mind, but trusting him more than anything.
“M’gonna use my mouth, okay?” He said, scanning your face. “Is that alright?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, excited at the prospect.
“Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay Angel?”
“Okay.” You nod, your eyes fixated on him as he moved closer to your heat. He moved his thumb from your clit, but you barely have time to mourn the loss before his mouth was on you and his tongue was doing the work, instead. “Oh, fuck.” You whine, reaching down and tangling your hand in his hair. The feeling was more intense, and definitely more powerful. The warmth of his mouth and the wetness of his tongue was like heaven, and so unlike anything you’d felt before. He barely started and you could feel your walls fluttering against his fingers. You were bordering another orgasm, and you weren’t sure how much you could take before you let go.
His tongue moved carefully, but with intent. It drifted over your clit, savoring any bit of arousal still left on you. His eyes were closed as his hips moved down on the mattress, the friction barely relieving the ache of his cock, but making it a little more bearable. Your breathing was shallow, and the feeling of your fingers tangled in his hair was driving him crazy. He pumped his fingers into you as his tongue worked at you, curling his fingers slightly every time he re-entered. The different types of stimulation was not overwhelming, but just enough as they worked together to push you to the edge.
“Fuck, Jake.” You whined. He hummed against you, showing you how much he was enjoying the sound. The vibration ran through you, tightening the knot in your stomach. You were so close, and your skin was tingling with pleasure. “I think… think m’gonna cum, baby.” You warned. He did not pull away, instead he made his movements more pronounced, needing it more than he needed anything more in his entire life. Your mind was flooded with desire for him, and you could only whimper his name.
He was making you feel better than you ever had before, and you were so in love with him at that moment. You couldn’t think of anyone else you’d rather be doing this with, and you felt so comfortable and loved. He adored you, and he was coaxing you so gently to a climax that it was hard to feel any fear or anxiety about it. He was so gentle and kind, his touch soft and his words sweet. He wanted you to get the most out of it, and more than anything, he wanted to make your first time special. He waited so long for this moment, and now that it was here, he was doing everything in his power to make sure you enjoyed it.
The orgasm washed over you hard, making your legs shake and your eyes squeeze shut. Your fingers tightened around the stands of his hair, and you moaned his name as the pleasure took over. The obscenities falling from your lips painted the walls, burying the memory in the room until the end of time. You felt so good that you forgot how to breathe, and your head felt light. As the intensity died down and you relaxed against him, he began to taper his movements off until he came to a complete stop. As you caught your breath, he pulled back from you and looked up at your face. His eyes were heavy, and lust was hanging thick in the air. He needed you, and he did not have to say it aloud; you could feel it.
As he straightened up, his chin was glistening in the dim light, your orgasm lingering on his skin to remind you of the moment. “How was that, beautiful?” He asked, his voice husky. Your mind was still hazy as you admired his face, watching as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt.
“So, so good, baby.” You sighed, giving him a lazy smile.
“You want to keep going?” He asked, standing from the bed. You admired him, shirtless and standing over you. Your head was swimming with joy and your skin was ablaze with desire for him. You made it this far, and you wanted to go all the way. You were more than ready to take the step with him, especially after he was so caring and loving with you just moments before.
“Yes, please.” You whisper, giving him a smile. He returned the expression, slowly undoing his belt buckle, pulling it from the loops. His discarded it on the floor, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling down the zipper. You felt like you were holding your breath as you waited for him to undress, feeling excitement begin to build within you. He slipped out of his jeans, kicking them to the side. Then, he looked at you, making sure you were okay before he took off his boxers. He saw the admiration in your eyes, and it made his stomach flutter with adoration.
“You want me, sweet girl?” He whispered, his jaw tense as he watched you look at him in wonder.
“Yes, please.” You nod, waiting for him to advance further. He gave you a soft smile, pulling off his boxers and throwing them to the side. When he straightened up, your breath caught in your throat. He was stunning. The discreet toned muscles in his abdomen that were so often hidden by clothes took your breath away. The soft v-line leaning down from his hips was delicious, and you could feel the arousal begin to grow once more. When he stepped closer, the light seemed to shine on him a little more. You could see all of him, and he was breathtaking.
His cock was painfully hard, the tip red and glistening with pre-cum, and it was so enticing. Seeing all of him was something so special, and you almost regretted not doing it sooner. He kneeled before you on the bed, settling between your legs as he smiled down at you. “Hi, gorgeous.” He hummed, his expression sweet and his eyes showing you nothing but love.
“Hi,” you grinned, feeling excitement overtake all of the anxiety. He reached to the other side of the bed, grabbing a pillow.
“Lift your hips for me, sweetheart.” He said. You did as he told you, and he slid the cushion underneath you. “Should make it a little more comfortable.” He promised, leaning down and bracing his arm beside your head. He gave you a stupid smile that told you how enthusiastic he was. You couldn’t help but smile back, finding his joy infectious. He leaned a little further down, capturing you in a kiss. You melted into the feeling, so relieved at the comfortable and familiar feeling after so many new sensations. You closed your eyes, cupping his cheek in your hand to hold him to you. You wanted to live in the moment with him forever.
He didn’t rush you, kissing you softly for as long as you needed. It was messy, but it was beautiful. His teeth pulled your bottom lip between them, teasing you slightly. You smiled against him, finding the playfulness soothing. “I love you, Jake.” You mumble against his lips.
“I love you so much, Angel.” He whispers, looking down over your face. “I think you’re the most beautiful thing in the whole world, you know that right?” Your cheeks burn red, but you can’t hold back your smile. “You’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m so lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have you.” You sigh, your chest aching with the amount of love you have for him.
“Thank you for trusting me, y/n.” His voice is full of emotion now. The lust took the back burner, second to his love and appreciation for you.
“Thank you for being someone I can trust.” He smiled at your words, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours once more.
“Are you ready? If not, I can wait.” He assured you.
“I am.” You promised. “I’m ready.” He gave you another kiss, biting back another smile. He felt giddy with you, like it was his first time again, too. The strength in which he felt for you nearly brought him to his knees. He leaned back, looking down over your body with a look on his eyes you weren’t sure he’d ever seen before. It was so full of emotion that it made your stomach twist into knots. He spit into his hand, stroking himself before lining himself up with your entrance. He looked to you for approval, and you gave a slight nod of your head.
“It might be a little uncomfortable, so just tell me if it is, okay? Just want you to feel good, baby.”
“I will.” His concern with your pleasure was driving you crazy. He guided your legs around him and waited for a moment, giving you the chance to change your mind. When you said nothing, he slowly pushed himself inside of you.
The feeling was different, but not unpleasant. It took a moment to get used to it as he fully buried himself in you. He paused before moving any further, looking to see if you were okay. You couldn’t help but notice how full you felt, how well he fit with you, and how right it felt. You caught his eye, letting out a little sigh of satisfaction. The small sound nearly pushed him over the edge as he sat, completely still inside of you. His cock twitched slightly, the knowledge that you were enjoying him sending him feral.
“You want to wait, or do you want me to keep going?”
“Keep going, please.” You breathed, wanting more. He gave you a small smile, moving his hips ever so slightly. You tended slightly, adjusting to the feeling, but as he continued, it began to grow more comfortable. Soon after, prickles of pleasure started to ignite your skin. “Oh, Jake.” You sigh, letting your head fall back on the pillow. “That feels… so good.” His jaw clenched at your words, thrilled at your enjoyment.
“Yeah? You like it, baby?” He asked, reaching down and letting his fingers dust over your bare stomach. They trailed all the way to your chest as he cupped your breast in his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. His thumb toyed with your nipple, the small sensation sending a shiver down your spine.
“I do,” you breathe, nodding your head.
“So fucking tight,” he muttered to himself. “You feel so fucking good, angel. Doing so good for me.” Your walls clenched around him as he spoke, drawing him in further. He wasn’t moving very fast, but the feeling was more than enough. It was exactly what you’d been waiting for, even if you didn’t realize it before. Slowly, he began to pick up the pace, unable to hold himself back any longer. “Tell me if you need me to slow down, baby.”
“I will,” you moaned, feeling the intensity begin to build in your belly again. “God, Jake. F-faster, please.” You pleaded. He let out a groan, resembling more of a growl than anything else. He grabbed your hips, pulling you down towards him a little further. His thrusts sped, and he put a little more force behind his movements. He looked down, watching how your bodies fit together, feeling a whole new sense of desire as your hips met his with every thrust.
“You’re so fucking hot.” He groaned, leaning down and pulling you into a kiss. He’d waited so long to feel you like this, and he was afraid he might not be able to hold himself back.
“Fuck, Jake.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down closer to you. His hands on your hips felt so good, his fingers burning into you in the most intoxicating way. You felt better than you ever did before, and you never wanted to stop feeling that way. He was so enchanting, and everything he was doing was euphoric. You felt like you were melting into him, both of you becoming one as the fire burned in your hearts.
“Need you to cum for me one more time, angel. Just one more.” He pleaded, pulling you down on him as he thrusted into you. The angle he was hitting was intoxicating, pulling you in further with every move of his hips. His lips met your again in a heated kiss, your chests heaving as the intensity continued to consume you. Your stomach was twisted in knots and your forehead was glistening with sweat. Your whole body felt like it was ablaze with pleasure, and you needed more than he could give.
He pulled back from you, his hips still keeping a steady pace as his hand reached between you, circling around your clit once again. The second sensation to hold with a fervent appetite, consuming you entirely and making it impossible to think of anything else. His fingers on you and his cock filling you up was pushing you to euphoria, and your vision began to blur. Your mind was hazy as you tried to focus on his face, wondering how you got so lucky to be with someone so beautiful.
“You think you can give me one more, beautiful?” He asked, his voice shaking as he spoke. He was holding himself back to make sure you were pleased, but the idea of him being such a mess for you was driving you even closer to insanity. The most pleasurable part of the whole thing was knowing how good he felt, and how much he loved pleasing you.
“Y-yeah,” you managed a nod, looking up at him with desperate eyes. Your muscles were tightening as you tensed, preparing for the wave of pleasure about to wash over you. The burning in the pit of your stomach was familiar now, and you knew that he was the only one who knew how to get you there.
“Cum for me, baby.” He said, his thumb circling the sensitive bundle of nerves with precision. Your legs locked around him began to tremble, and your breathing was ragged. You were so close, and you needed it. More than that, you needed him to cum at the same time.
“Cum with me, please.” You pleaded, admiring the look of pleasure twisting his expression. He let out a groan at your words, his eyebrows knitting together as his hair hung down over his face. You’d never seen Jake look so ethereal before, and it was driving you mad.
“That’s what you want, angel? That will make you happy?”
“Please, Jake.” You said, reaching up and clasping your fingers around his bicep.
“Anything for my girl,” he muttered, his head falling back as he let out a string of curses. He even made the obscenities sound beautiful. You watched as the columns of his neck tightened and his Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, sweat dripping delicately down across his skin. Strands of hair stuck to the damp skin, framing him in a picture you wished to burn into your mind until the end of time.
The climax hit you hard, and you clenched around him, crying his name as you felt the pleasure fill you completely. He didn’t have time to nurture you through it, because at the same time, his orgasm washed over him. As you rode out the high, his hips stuttered and a breathy moan fell from his lips. He spilled his release inside of you, the feeling so addicting that it forced you into another wave of pleasure. Heavy breathing was the only sound in the room, and after the intensity began to fade, Jake leaned down and wrapped you in his arms. Without withdrawing from you, he turned on his back and pulled you on top of him. With a giggle, you landed comfortably in his arms with a smile so wide it made your cheeks ache.
You rested your head on his chest, your skin still tingling with the ghost of your orgasm. You placed a kiss to the skin, feeling his heart thud against his ribcage. His hand trailed down your back, his fingers tickling you slightly as he traced shapes into your skin. For a moment, neither of you spoke, and you didn’t need to; the whole world felt perfect.
“How was that, angel?” He asked, reaching up and tucking your hair behind your ear. You grinned down at him, unable to put your thoughts into words. “Are you okay?”
“I’m great, Jake.” You assured him, leaning into the touch of his hand.
“You’re not hurt, are you? I wasn’t too rough?” His hand shot to your hip as he looked down, trying to see if he left any marks on you. He was panicking, worried that he hadn’t taken good enough care of you. The last thing he wanted was for you to be in pain.
“It was perfect, my love. It was better than I could have ever imagined.” You promised, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips. He relaxed against you, feeling better at the sound of your words.
“So… it was good? You… you liked it?” He said, his own nerves getting the best of him. You could feel him start to go soft inside of you, but neither of you cared to move. You laid together, smiling in bliss at the moment.
“It was phenomenal… I had a fantastic time.” You said, blushing slightly. “Thank you, Jake. For everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything, beautiful.” He pulled your head down so he could place a kiss to your forehead. “It was my pleasure.”
“I do, though. Thank you for being patient, and thank you for caring enough to wait it out. And… thank you for making my first time so special. I’ve always been kind of… afraid, I guess, and you made it so easy.”
“I’m glad I could do that for you, angel. You’re my biggest priority, and I just want to make sure you’re happy and comfortable, and I want you to have a good time.”
“I had such a good time.” You smiled, laying your head on his chest again. “Do you… you think maybe we can do it again, soon?” His grip tightened on you as he let out a small chuckle.
“Sweetheart, we can do it whenever you want. All you have to do is say the word.” He promised.
“I love you so much, Jake.” You whisper, pressing another kiss to his chest with a smile on your lips.
“You have no idea how much I love you, sweetheart.” He said, kissing the top of your head. “You are everything I’ve ever wanted and more.”
452 notes · View notes
junkissed · 9 months
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happy ending
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member — husband!junhui x f reader genre — angst, fluff, hurt/comfort word count — 6.6k synopsis — a pointless argument escalates until both of you need some space, but it couldn't come at a worse time. warnings — female reader, planned pregnancy, there's a big argument but i tried to not make it too toxic (jun and reader have a happy & healthy relationship i promise), swearing, there is a happy ending lots of fluff !! notes — requested by anon — this has been sitting in my drafts for months bc every time i look at it i get shy and wanna change my mind but i'm proud of how this turned out so i'm posting it finally! i know pregnancy fics aren't everyone's favorite but this was honestly very comforting to write so i hope anyone who chooses to read can find comfort in it as well <3 also the last time i proofread this was like april and if i try to proofread it rn i'll get shy again and chicken out so if there's any mistakes pls ignore! i hope you enjoy :)
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you sat on the bathroom floor, trying to comprehend the weight of the news you held in your hand. you couldn’t believe it. you could? you couldn’t. 
after many months of trying to start a family with your husband, you had finally succeeded. the slim plastic stick with two tiny pink lines was the last piece of evidence you needed. it had been months of carefully tracked cycles, fertility doctors, and new positions that seemed too weird to actually do anything. but now, everything was finally falling into place.
you don’t know exactly how much time you spend sitting on the floor and staring at the pregnancy test; thinking, planning, and thinking some more. but when you finally stand up and place the positive test on the counter with shaking hands, it still hasn’t fully sunk in yet what’s happening. something you’d wanted for so long, and finally it was all right in front of you.
what do you do now? no— you know exactly what you need to do, and it’s a long list of things. the real question is, where do you begin?
you thought back to all the videos you’d watched over the last few weeks. somehow every social media algorithm knew exactly what you wanted to see, and it had given it to you in abundance; baby showers, gender reveals, those “get ready with me - new mom edition” videos. all getting your hopes up before you could confirm whether or not it had finally happened.
with your hopes high and expectations even higher, you were already beginning to plan how you would break the news to junhui. as your husband and your soon-to-be baby’s father, of course you wanted him to be the very first person to know, so you couldn’t wait too long to tell him. you couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.
maybe you’d get a little gift box and give the test to him before dinner. but, then again, it was literally a piece of plastic you’d peed on. surely you could give him… something a little nicer than that.
maybe you could buy a baby outfit and wrap it up for him. but you remembered he’d mentioned so many times about how excited he would be to pick out clothes once you got pregnant. you would want him to have the honor of picking out the very first one, going to the store together and looking through the whole section before finally settling on the perfect one.
what else was there you could do? bake a cake? make a crossword puzzle? buy him a t-shirt that says “dad-to-be”? so many ways you could do it, but none of them seemed perfectly right.
from the other room you hear the door opening, and hurriedly you stuff the test into a drawer, not wanting to tell him just yet. you need a plan first; waiting another day or two couldn’t hurt, so you’ll just have to figure out how to tell him later.
you flip off the bathroom light and stride into the hallway, barely able to contain the grin on your face. you’ve always been terrible at keeping secrets, and with news as big and exciting as this you have no idea how you’re going to be able to hide it from him for more than a minute.
but luckily you don’t have to wonder about it for long, because as soon as you see jun you can already tell he’s in a sour mood. 
you know it’s usually best to let him have some time alone when he’s upset, but not for too long because he starts getting frustrated with himself and won’t stop working until he’s exhausted.
but you’re still on a high after everything today, so you decide on being a little bit sweeter to him in the hopes that your happiness will be contagious and that it’ll lift his spirits, despite what was probably a really awful day at work.
you find him sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, long fingers pressed against his eyes trying to block out the light.
“hey, junnie,” you call out, sitting down in a chair next to him. “bad day?”
“yeah,” he answers shortly.
“i’m sorry, baby,” you hum, putting your hand on his shoulder, but he flinches and your hand falls away in surprise. he’s never done that before. weird. you try something else. “um, any requests for dinner?”
“not hungry.”
“alright. well, i guess i can cook up some veggies and leave them out, you can heat them up whenever you get hungry.”
he moves his hands away from his face and onto the table, sighing as he leans back in his chair. “can you just— leave me alone for a while? i’m sorry.”
you nod and stand up. “no, it’s fine. i get it. i’ll bring you some tea later then, maybe. text me when you’re feeling better.” you reach out and gently touch his hand before walking away, leaving him alone at the table.
it’s definitely one of his worser days, you note, so you retreat to your bedroom to watch more videos on your phone, trying to bring back your excitement from earlier. hopefully later he’ll be more open and you can sit down and eat something, and maybe by then you’ll have come up with a good way to tell him the news.
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an hour passes and you come out of your bedroom to look for jun, having a question from one of your friends about the dinner you’d arranged to have together next week. but he’s no longer in the kitchen, so you peek your head into his office room and find him exactly where you expect him to be, trying to work himself to death.
you clear your throat before you enter, not wanting to startle him again. “hey, junnie, i know you’re in a bad mood, and i’m sorry to interrupt, but—”
“what do you want?” he snaps, never turning around from his desk. just from the way he’s hunched over his computer, he looks like the most stressed you’ve ever seen him, and your chest tightens with worry before your brain registers what he’s just said to you.
“i— excuse me?”
“i said, what do you want?” he repeats, still facing away from you.
you resist the urge to glare at him, knowing he’s probably under a lot of pressure, and you aren’t trying to add to it. “you don’t have to be rude, jun. i just came in here to double check about next weekend, minghao’s texting me.”
he finally lifts his head, slamming his hand down on the desk. “i’m really trying not to snap at you, but— jesus, you make it so fucking hard sometimes.”
you raise your eyebrows in disbelief, your voice lifting in tone. “well, i’m so very sorry to inconvenience you then, but i really don’t appreciate you talking to me like that, jun.”
“and i don’t appreciate you talking to me like i’m a child! when will you get it through your head?”
his comment stings, but you brush it off. “well, maybe if you’d just talk to me like an adult instead of throwing a fit and hiding in your office then i wouldn’t have to treat you like one!” you’re starting to get tired of how he retreats in on himself every time bad shit happens. all you want to do is let him know he doesn’t have to do it alone, and he’s just… exploding at you for no reason, so you don’t try to hide the snarkiness behind your words.
he scoffs angrily and stands up, towering over you at his full height. “oh, grow up! you’re so moody all the time and you expect me to just put up with it! as if i don’t have enough other shit to worry about, i have to worry about what you think of this and that and everything all the damn time!”
you’ve never seen him get so angry like this, and it’s almost scary how completely different this jun is from the jun you know and love. “okay, jun, fine, i’ll just—”
“no, don’t fucking “jun, fine” me. it’s like you’re doing it on purpose at this point, you act like everything is just so perfect and then when it’s not you act like it’s your job to fix everything! you can’t fix everything!”
“i said fine! just forget it, i’ll leave you the hell alone like you always want!”
he pushes past you and crosses the room in two strides, grabbing his keys off the hook by the door, his hand already on the doorknob. “i need to get some air. i’ll be back later.”
you fold your arms over your chest, trying to look unphased but inside your heart is breaking. “you’re really gonna walk out like that? you’re just gonna run away from this? real mature, junhui.”
he spins around, and the look in his eyes is cold. “if i don’t get out of this house right now i’m gonna say something i actually regret.”
and in a flash the door is slammed shut and jun is gone. you can hear his car starting up in the driveway, and seconds later everything is dead silent.
you stand frozen in front of the door, unable to move. you can’t believe it. you can’t. what just happened?
jun has never just… walked out like that.
his words ring in your ears; though your argument wasn’t very long, a lot was said in a very short time and you can’t even begin to think about how to process it as it starts to hit you all at once.
say something he actually regrets? what the hell does that mean? so he’s saying he doesn’t regret everything else, the cursing and the anger and the pointed words that were clearly meant to hurt you?
minute after long minute passes and you realize he’s not coming back anytime soon. finally you drag yourself away from the door, dropping down on the couch in a daze.
there’s never been a time where you and jun haven’t made up immediately after an argument. sure, maybe you take a little bit to cool down in your own space, but neither of you like letting the tension sit unresolved for very long. so what was it this time that made him leave without even a goodbye?
so many reasons, so many excuses, so many words you could’ve said instead. you shouldn’t have reacted like that, you shouldn’t have kept it going, you should’ve just left him alone. would that have made him stay? if you’d backed down sooner and just let him work through it on his own?
despite all the what-ifs and the doubts in your mind, your conscience won’t allow you to let him worry about everything by himself without at least offering your help. you’re a team, husband and wife, and you’ll be damned if you let him forget that. maybe you trying to help actually made things worse in the end, but at least you know you tried… right?
it’s not until you check your phone and realize that jun’s been gone more than half an hour that you finally let yourself cry. you’d been so focused on worrying about where jun was and whether he was okay that you’d barely even thought about what might happen after this.
will he just… come back and pretend nothing happened? will he come back and still be angry at you? it would almost be worse if he was calm and acted like everything was normal. would he even apologize? would you even apologize? of course you would. both of you said things that were fucked up, and you’ll be the first to admit it if it means this whole thing can be over. right now all you want is to have junhui back.
the tears keep falling but you don’t even feel yourself crying, your face rigid as the tears continue to stain your cheeks.
after an hour you force yourself to get up off the couch and move somewhere, anywhere around the house to try and get your mind off things. but you can’t erase his voice from your head, the look in his eyes as he walked out the door and the way his shoulders hunched from anger mixed with exhaustion.
you find yourself back in your bedroom and you fall onto his side of the bed, wishing you would wake up to find that this has all just been a very bad dream.
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it’s after 10pm when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand and you sit up in a panic, scrambling to see if it’s something from jun. your eyes sting from crying so much, and you blink away the remaining tears as you unlock your phone with shaking hands. your heart drops even further when you realize it is, in fact, from jun, but not the news you want to hear.
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you let your phone slip out of your grasp, tumbling to the carpet with a thud. when he’d said he’d be back later you had assumed that meant he’d be coming back tonight. clearly you thought wrong.
tomorrow seemed so far away; too much time to spend alone in a house that was supposed to be filled with happy memories, but now all you felt was pain. you felt it in your chest and in your stomach and in your head and everywhere. the whole room was suffocating, heavy weight crushing down on you from every angle.
you slide to the floor and pick up your phone. you don’t text junhui back. you’re not sure anymore if he’d even read your message. 
instead you type in your friend seokmin’s phone number, listening to the line ring as you wipe the back of your hand across your eyes.
as soon as he picks up, he can hear the anguish in your voice and he’s begging you to tell him what’s wrong, but all you can muster up is a soft, “can i stay with you tonight?” because you can’t bear to be in this house another second without junhui. 
and of course he says yes, and of course he’s immediately on his way over to pick you up. and of course he stops at mcdonald’s on the way back to his house to buy you something to eat, because you haven’t eaten and even though you don’t particularly have much of an appetite right now, seokmin would rather die than let you skip a meal, especially on a night like tonight when you could really use something to keep you going.
you throw your overnight bag on the floor of seokmin’s living room with a small sigh. in a haze you’d tossed in whatever items you thought you might need; a toothbrush, pajamas, something to wash your face with. 
he gives you space for a while as he pulls out the folding bed part of the couch and brings out blankets and pillows for you to sleep with. you don’t say it, but you really appreciate his help. he’s been one of your best friends for so long, and you don’t know what you’d do without him. 
you hadn’t thought about it while you were packing, but as you stand in seokmin’s bathroom you think about the cleanser you’d grabbed; your favorite one, the one jun had gotten you for your birthday last year and you’d never switched to another brand since. 
every single thing reminds you of him, and you push down a fresh wave of emotion as you scrub the foam into your skin, trying to wash away all your tears.
when you’re done getting ready for bed you find seokmin in the living room with a pot of tea. he was just trying to help, but unluckily for him, he’d made green tea. it was your favorite… but it also happened to be jun’s favorite.
and this time you can’t hold back your tears, and seokmin is sitting wide eyed and bewildered, wondering why you’re crying over tea, but he doesn’t ask. he just reaches out to let you hug him, and you squeeze him so tightly you know it must hurt, but he doesn’t say anything, just lets you hug him as hard as you can and lets your tears stain his t-shirt.
it takes another half hour for you to calm down enough to talk. you’d spent the time watching whatever was on tv, not really paying attention and instead playing everything back in your mind. seokmin had just sat next to you, quietly keeping you company until you were ready.
“jun and i… had a fight,” you say finally, interrupting the commercial playing on the screen.
“i figured,” he says, offering you a comforting smile as he mutes the tv. “do you wanna talk about it?”
“i don’t know. there’s not much to talk about.” you take a shaky breath, remembering it all one more time. “we both said some awful things that we didn’t mean. at least, i know i didn’t mean them. then he just… left, and he texted that he’d come home tomorrow. that’s it.”
you don’t tell him about the pregnancy test. you’ve mentioned once or twice that you and jun had been interested in starting a family, but you’d never gone into detail about it and you weren’t going to now. you still wanted jun to be the first person to know, even though you didn’t know when that might be anymore.
you tell him about other things instead, about your day at work and your plans for the weekend. eventually you finish your tea, and seokmin retreats to his own room and shuts the door with a quiet click, leaving you alone in the quiet of his living room.
it takes you a long time to fall asleep, but soon your exhaustion catches up with you and you let yourself rest, physically and emotionally drained. at least the silence here isn’t as bad as the silence at your house.
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across town in his friend seungcheol’s guest bedroom, jun can’t stop tossing and turning. he’s fucked up, he knows he fucked up, big time.
why did he leave? he shouldn’t have left. you had been absolutely right, he was running away from everything and it was stupid and dumb and immature. but in that moment all he could think about was what the next awful thing he might say to you was, and he knew if he had stayed for any longer he wouldn’t have been able to stop what came out of his mouth. he was out of control, and immediately he knew it.
not even the worst day in the world could make you deserving of all the things he said to you. you were the only thing that wasn’t bad in his life; even on shitty days like today, all you did was care about him. and all he did was hurt you.
jun barely sleeps that night, finally forcing himself out of the extra bed at dawn. he’d been too anxious to sleep, too frustrated with himself to do anything other than think about everything he did and wonder if you were okay without him.
he’d already gotten an earful from his friend last night, and he knew he was still in big trouble. the things he said wouldn’t just go away overnight. in fact, they’d probably gotten worse by leaving them to build up overnight, and again he’s kicking himself for ever leaving in the first place.
he packs up his things as quickly as he can, eager to get home and see you again. on his way out the door, he thanks seungcheol for letting him stay the night and he apologizes for bothering him so late.
“i’m not the one you need to apologize to. you better figure out how to fix this, jun.”
with a straight face he nods, bowing his head as he closes the door.
in his car, jun takes the long way home, trying to find an open grocery store. he knows it won’t make up for how he acted, but the very least he can do it buy you a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
he walks through the aisles, basket in hand, trying to think of something else for you. maybe he’ll get the ingredients he needs to make your favorite dinner tonight; he hadn’t eaten last night, though you had offered to cook for him and he’d shot you down.
he feels another pang of guilt at the thought, remembering yet another kind gesture you’d tried to give him that he’d brushed off like it meant nothing. it meant everything to him, and in the middle of the frozen vegetables aisle he swore he wouldn’t ever do it again. 
he’d taken you for granted, and he was so lucky that things hadn’t ended worse than they did. he could’ve said something truly unforgivable, or he could’ve even lost your relationship altogether. but he was still yours, and you were still his, and he would just have to work extra hard to make sure you knew how sincere he was.
he’d been a little worried that you hadn’t texted him back last night, seeing that you’d read his message but never responded. you were probably still hurt, and he didn’t blame you; still, he’d hoped you would say something back.
with grocery bags loaded full of ingredients for dinner and the special things he’d bought for you, the drive back home feels a little more hopeful.
he plans out everything he’ll do in the car. he’ll bring the groceries in and put them away quickly; it’s still fairly early in the morning, so hopefully you won’t be awake yet. he’ll arrange your flowers all nice in a pretty vase, and he’ll come in and wake you up with the best apology of his life and hopefully a really big hug. after the last 24 hours he really could use a hug, and he’s sure you could too. and then he’ll explain how sorry he is and how he didn’t mean any of it and then everything will be better again. yes, everything will be okay.
the first part of his plan goes perfectly. he sneaks into the house and when he’s met with silence he continues putting everything away, quietly so he won’t wake you up in the other room. then, he puts the flowers in a vase and with everything in place, he walks down the hallway to finally face you.
but when he twists the bedroom door handle, the bed is made and the room is empty. you aren’t there.
he frowns, leaving the room and poking his head into the bathroom, then his office. he calls your name loudly, hoping you’re just in a corner of the house and you’ll come out once you hear him. but no reply.
he goes back into the living room and sets the vase down on the coffee table, trying to think. you aren’t usually up this early, but maybe you hadn’t been able to sleep and you’d gone out for a walk, or maybe you’d gone to the store to get more cereal? 
a sinking feeling rises in his chest, and he walks back into the bedroom to confirm something, sliding open the closet door to check. your overnight duffel bag is gone.
he ducks back into the bathroom to check something else. your toothbrush isn’t sitting in the jar like it usually is. he slides open the bathroom drawer to check one more thing, and—
his hand freezes on the knob, staring at something in the drawer that wasn’t there before. he’s not sure it is what he thinks it is, but either way there it is, clear as day in front of him: a little white piece of plastic, sticking out from underneath a tissue. 
gingerly he pulls it out, holding it up to the light to see it better. when he sees the two pink lines he nearly drops it in shock, but he stops himself, setting it gently on the counter instead.
this is something special, something precious, and he knew he had to take care of it. you’d saved it for a reason; you could’ve easily just thrown it away once you knew the results, but you had kept it instead. were you going to give it to him?
he covers his mouth with his hand, still staring at the stick sitting on the edge of the sink. it was just a cheap piece of plastic, but to him it was the most important thing in the entire world.
he deflates when he realizes you’d probably been planning on telling him last night, before he’d blown up at you. if he’d been paying attention to anyone other than himself, he would’ve noticed your mood was happier than usual, your face glowing with contained excitement. he should’ve been paying attention.
there’s a sense of urgency in his stride as he dashes around the house, looking for any other sign of you, but it’s clear you weren’t there. there were so many places you could be, he can’t even begin to think of where to look. your parents, friends, family; hell, you could even have stayed in a hotel, alone and upset. he should’ve been there. none of this should’ve ever happened.
immediately he presses the speed dial for your phone, but of course– no answer. he calls again, and again you don’t pick up. he curses, resisting the urge to slam his phone down on the table in frustration. no, he has to stay calm. that’s what got him into this whole fucking mess in the first place.
he remembers that your parents are out of town on vacation, so you probably wouldn’t have gone there. you wouldn’t have gone to a hotel because you always lecture him about the importance of saving money “just in case”, so you wouldn’t have paid to stay somewhere. your sister is still in college and shares an apartment with three other people, so probably not the best idea either. 
that narrows it down to one of your friends’ houses; seokmin, who lives a couple blocks away, or joshua, who lives on the other side of town.
he figures seokmin is his best bet, so jun takes a deep breath and finds the contact in his phone.
“what do you want?” seokmin’s usually cheery voice has an edge to it today, and jun knows he’s picked right.
“is she there?” he asks anxiously.
“she is,” he confirms, and jun exhales, letting out the breath he had been holding in. “but she’s asleep still. i’ll let her know you called.”
“wait,” jun adds quickly.
the line is silent for a moment, and he’s afraid seokmin’s already hung up, but finally he gets a response. “what is it?”
"can i–are you sure? please," jun pleads. if he could just talk to you, just explain what happened and that he's so fucking sorry—
“hold on,” seokmin says, and the phone goes quiet again.
jun’s heart is in his throat as he waits for a response, and he stops when he finally hears your voice. “hello?”
he breathes a sigh of relief. “sweetheart. i’m so sorry.”
you don’t reply, so he continues.
“i’m glad you’re okay,” he starts, trying to put the right words together. “i shouldn’t have said any of that last night, and i shouldn’t have left. i didn’t mean it. i’m sorry.”
“thanks” is all you say, and he hates how small and sad your voice sounds. it’s his fault you sound like that.
“i found your test,” he bursts out, unable to hide his excitement any longer.
“oh." you pause, swallowing. "so… you know.”
“yes, i do know, baby. i’m so sorry, if i had known before—”
you cut him off, your tone suddenly rising with anger. “‘if you had known?’ so you won’t yell at me if i’m pregnant, but you’re just fine with yelling at me when you think i’m not? is that the only reason why you’re even apologizing to me right now?"
“no— fuck, no, of course not. i shouldn’t yell at you, period. and i’m not going to ever again.” jun pauses for a second, rubbing his hand over his eyes. he’s done nothing so far but make everything worse. “i really messed up, honey, and i’m sorry. i can’t say it enough. but— please, come home. i don’t want to talk over the phone.”
you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will away the tears that threaten to fall again. you don’t want to cry about this anymore. “okay,” you say finally. “i’ll be home in a little while.”
“thank you,” jun says, and the way his voice breaks makes your heart sink. you can tell he feels awful about everything, and you do really, really miss him.
“…i love you," you add, changing your mind at the last second.
“i love you, too!” he says immediately. “i love you, too, honey. text me when you’re on your way.”
“i will.”
he says “i love you” twice more before you end the call. you sit in silence for a second, processing everything before you stand up off the couch and head to seokmin’s room to give him back his phone.
"can you take me home now, please?" you tell him softly, and immediately seokmin stands up and hugs you, his arms wrapped tightly around you.
"of course. let me know when you're ready."
half an hour later you find yourself in the front seat of seokmin’s car once again, this time sitting nervously in his driveway as he puts your bag in the trunk for you. you're still not sure if you're ready to face jun yet, but you know you have to.
reluctantly you unlock your phone and open your text messages with jun, your eyes landing on the text he'd sent last night that had gone unreplied. with shaky fingers you type out that you're leaving seokmin’s house, and jun replies almost instantly with a long string of heart emojis.
seokmin gets into the car and starts it, and you exhale and set your phone in the cupholder.
"are you okay?" he asks, turning to look at you. "because you can always let me know if you need anything. anytime, day or night."
"i'm alright," you say, taking a deep breath. "i'm fine. but thank you, seok. i really appreciate everything."
he smiles, shifting the car into reverse. "of course. it's no problem at all."
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the second he hears the car pull up outside the house, jun jumps up off the couch, smoothing his shirt down anxiously. through the window he watches seokmin hand you your bag and close the trunk, giving you one last hug before he gets back in the car. he doesn't drive away until you're at the front porch, and with a deep breath jun swings open the door, before you can even knock.
you both stand there in silence for a second before he blurts out another apology. "i'm sorry," he rushes to say. "i'm really sorry."
you give him a weak smile. "can i maybe… get in the house, first?" you ask quietly, motioning with your free hand at the doorway.
"yeah, i— yeah, shit, of course," jun says as he practically jumps out of your way, holding the door open for you to walk inside.
you set your bag on the floor by the couch as he closes the door behind you. the sound of the lock clicking seems too loud in the uncomfortable silence that settles over the room.
"can… can i give you a hug? please?" he asks, and you stay quiet but nod. 
he closes the distance between you in one stride and wraps his arms around you, squeezing you so tightly and holding you close to his chest. "i'm so sorry, honey. i didn't mean any of it. i promise."
"i believe you," you finally manage, your voice a little muffled from how he's pressing you against him.
he doesn't say anything more, just holds you and holds you, and it feels so good to be home where you belong. there's a lot that needs to be said, but for right now you don't need any more words. you're just glad to be back together again.
after a while you pull your head away from him so you speak. "i'm sorry."
"why are you apologizing? you didn't do anything wrong, baby. i'm the one that needs to be apologizing."
you shake your head. "no. i said some things last night, too. granted, not as bad as you, but…"
jun breaks out into a grin at your joke, and you feel your mood start to lighten. "…which is true. and i'm sorry."
"jun, you can stop apologizing now. i get it, you're sorry. you don't have to tell me a million times," you say, trying to laugh a little.
now it's his turn to shake his head. "well, i'm going to anyway. because i am sorry." you look away from him, feeling embarrassment start to boil up, but he continues talking. "i'm serious. i'll say it as many times as it takes to make it right."
you turn your head back to him, struggling to keep a straight face. "why did you leave, jun?" you ask softly.
he takes a deep breath, and still trapped in his arms you can feel his chest expand with the breath. 
"it was stupid," he says finally. "i left because i didn't want to stay and risk hurting you more. but i realize i did that anyway, by leaving. i was just… i needed some air. but i shouldn't have stayed away, and i'm not gonna do that again. i won't do it, ever again."
"i just don't want you to leave me," you manage, trying and failing to hide the crack in your voice as you feel your eyes start to well up with tears.
he hugs you tighter and one of his hands comes up to cup the back of your head, gently smoothing your hair with his thumb. "i know, baby, i'm sorry. i'm not going to, i promise."
you don't respond, but you know he's telling the truth. the last 24 hours have been hell for the both of you, and you don't doubt he means every single "i'm sorry" he's said.
"so…" jun starts, and you tilt your head up at him.
"so?" you know what he's going to say next, and despite the excitement you had yesterday you feel yourself dreading this part of the conversation.
"you're pregnant?"
you sigh, looking down and avoiding his eyes. "yeah."
he hums. "but you don't sound excited?" he asks.
"well, i was, last night."
"i'm sorry," he winces. "do you wanna tell me now and i'll pretend this didn't happen and i don't know about it?"
you shake your head. "no, it's fine. the moment's kinda… ruined, already."
he sighs. "yeah, i know. i'm sorry i ruined it."
"i said it's fine, jun."
"no, it's not fine," he says firmly. "it's one hundred percent my fault. this is important to you, and to us, and we should be celebrating right now. last night should never have happened."
"jun, it's in the past. it was messed up, but i forgive you," you say, lifting you head to look at him once more. "it's not a big deal. we're okay now."
"i just want you to be happy about it," he says with a sniff. "we've been trying for so long, and finally…" he trails off, staring at you with watery eyes. 
you smile at him. "i am happy about it, junnie. i'm so happy, you can't even believe."
"did you tell seokmin?" he asks, and his brows furrow when you shake your head no.
"no, i didn't. i wanted you to be the first i told," you say shyly. "i knew you would want to be the first to know."
"i love you so much," he says, still hugging you. he's never going to let you go, never again. "do you know how far along?"
"no, i didn't go to the doctor. probably like two or three weeks, though, if i've been counting it right."
"wow," he sighs, a smile on his face as he stares off into the distance behind you. "i can't wait."
you watch his eyes, practically able to see the thoughts running through his head. 
after a while he loosens his grip around you, moving to swipe at his eyes quickly with the back of his hand. "well—anyway," he starts, giving you an awkward chuckle. "i bought stuff for breakfast. if you haven't had any, yet. and i'm making dinner tonight, too."
before you can even respond his eyes widen, like he's just now remembering all the things he had planned, and he lets go of you, bounding into the kitchen. he returns seconds later with a huge glass vase full of flowers, practically tripping over his own feet in his rush to hand them to you. "and i got these for you, too. sorry they're not the best, it's all the store had this morning."
"junnie, if this is the best the store had, then i don't think i wanna see their best," you laugh, holding the flowers up and admiring the dozens of bright blooms. "this is gorgeous, but you really didn't need to get me anything."
"but i wanted to," he counters, still running around the room to grab the gift bag sitting by the couch. "consider it an 'i'm very sorry' slash 'congrats you're having a baby' gift."
you set the vase down on the table next to you and take the bag from him, pulling out the tissue paper and crumpling it into a ball.
"i didn't have a whole lot of time to look this morning, but i found these," he says nervously, waiting for your reaction.
from the bag you pull out a miniature plastic hanger holding a set of tiny pajamas covered in little kitties, attached to a matching set of striped orange socks.
"i wanted to be the first person to get you baby clothes," he explains as he fidgets with his hands. 
"i knew you would," you smile at him, setting the empty bag and the clothes on the table along with the bouquet of flowers. "and they're perfect. they're so… you."
you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him back in for another hug. "i love all of it. thank you, jun."
he grins, rocking you back and forth in his arms and leaving kisses all over your cheek. "i love you too, baby. i missed you so much. i won't ever do that again."
"i know," you smile. "now… you promised me breakfast, isn't that right? because i'm starving. crying is exhausting."
he laughs. "no crying anymore. and i did promise you that, so tell me: do you want blueberry waffles, or strawberry?"
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tavina-writes · 5 months
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MDZS Society! aka: there's a lot less killing than you'd expect
This follows from this post and also the recent translations of MXTX’s most recent interview (which I can now no longer bother to find bc this has been sitting in drafts for like, siiiix months? More? Oh god anyway.) which reminded me about my feelings regarding MDZS society and how different it is from the martial societies we see depicted in typical modern wuxia. (Small disclaimer, I am a wuxia genre fiend and I love like, thinking about fictional societies so this is like, “AHA! You’ve unlocked my trap card!”) 
For the purposes of this, I’m going to be looking at MDZS/CQL’s depiction of the jianghu (which I think is fairly similar! I don’t actually think the show writers made CQL’s jianghu/martial society more genre typical than it was in the book) and comparing that with modern classic wuxia (mostly Jin Yong and Gu Long works.) For this comparison, I’ll be looking at a Jin Yong book — Legend of the Condor Heroes (which is widely considered the starting point of modern wuxia as a genre) — and one Gu Long book — Dagger Li/Sentimental Swordsman, Ruthless Sword (widely considered his most popular work) — and seeing how their societies differ from MDZS society. 
This will likely come in two parts because this one was already getting long, and I don’t think we can fit “how often does nobility exist in a typical jianghu and what do bloodline sects look like normally versus what they look like in MDZS” in this post along with the main topic of “is MDZS society a particularly physically violent place?” 
This post discusses how often cultivators are socially expected to kill people. Like, actual living human beings instead of, say, monsters or ghosts which have been categorized differently than like, human beings. 
EDIT: I forgot to talk about Dagger Li but this was already much too long sorry. Feel free to hmu for more thoughts though.
Now, it might be easy to think that cultivators killing actual people is a really common thing in MDZS/CQL universe! After all, they do have martial arts training and one of the prominent things about the first life is just how many people die both in the Sunshot Campaign and the fallout afterwards. However, I would argue that a lot of the traumas and related issues and reactions that happen in MDZS happen because cultivators are, by training and education, not actually prepared for killing actual living breathing human beings! (And also that the morality of this world prevents it for the most part) 
Now, we do actually get a pretty good window into what the typical training is like for young cultivators in MDZS, because we get a fairly well defined schoolhouse scene where LQR is asking them questions about "how do you tell the difference between various different problems we have to solve?" and "how do you go about fixing this problem?" and none of those include the moral quandary of "if I, a young cultivator out in the Jianghu, see a guy who is doing something I morally disagree with, under what circumstances do I beat him up and/or kill him." This does not appear to enter the curriculum at any point, leading me to believe that the morally correct number of people not like, ghosts or ghouls or fierce corpses, a regular average MDZS cultivator is supposed to have killed is approximately 0.
Which. Is a thing you get in a normal martial arts wuxia jianghu. There is generally the threat of "oh yeah this that or the other faction will be doing shitty things and thereby try to murder you." Instead, in MDZS/CQL most of the heirs of sects are...attending school together. Doing teenage things like partying and gossiping and attending classes.
And sure yes, there was a case of WWX and JZX trying to beat each other up. But the sects did sure let their kids stay at Lan summer camp for months on end (sometimes repeatedly, see NHS) without fearing for their lives or that anyone would steal another sect's techniques or otherwise causing real havoc or intersect warfare etc.
Which is infeasible in any other sort of Jianghu situation. For example, contrast this scenario with this scene from LOCH where Guo Jing's shifus are giving him advice since he is newly 17 and about to set out by himself into the great big world:
Guo Jing therefore bid farewell to his teachers. They had witnessed his battle against the Four Demons of the Yellow River, and were not too greatly worried. The young man had proved that he knew how to use the skills that they taught him. Therefore they let him leave alone. On one hand, the meeting of outlaws in Yanjing worried them greatly, so that they could not ignore it; and on the other hand, a youngster always had to travel the jianghu alone, in order to learn lessons that no teacher could pass on. At the moment of parting, each made their last recommendations. As usual when the Six spoke after one another, Nan Xiren was the last one to express himself. "If you cannot defeat the enemy," he said. "Flee!" He knew that given Guo Jing's dogged character, he would prefer to die rather than to surrender, if he met a master, he would certainly fight to the bitter end, even at the risk of death. That was the reason Nan Xiren gave him this common sense warning. " Martial arts have no limits," added Zhu Cong. " As the proverb says, 'For every peak there is one yet higher', so for every man there is one stronger. Whatever your power, you will always one day meet a foe stronger than you. A true man knows to retreat when necessary, when facing grave danger, it is necessary to contain one's impatience and anger. This what is meant by the adage, « If one preserves the earth and its forests, one does not fear to lack firewood ». It is not therefore not cowardly to take good advice! When the enemy is too numerous and that you cannot face them there, it is especially necessary to avoid being too reckless. Keep in mind Fourth Shifu's advice!"
Does this seem like the sort of advice that any Young MDZS Cultivator would get? "You're a good kid, but when you go out into the world, there will be people who straight up want you dead even though they met you 15 minutes ago, you cannot persist in fighting with these people because they will want you dead and you are a baby cultivator who needs to learn to run away when shit gets rough or you will be dead."
And again I come back to how MDZS cultivators are more like occupational ghostbusters because this really does inform how their society functions and runs and how everyone reacts so badly to the Sunshot Campaign beginning and its aftermaths and possibly explains how JGS could get his way after Sunshot.
Because what happens when you get a society that does train heavily in martial arts and have Able To Kill Real People Weapons who spends most of their time solving very black and white situations of "okay is this ghost whose eating people's livers good or bad? y/n?" and a clear hierarchy of "how do we get rid of the ghost eating people's livers in town x" instead of say "is it morally correct to kill this group of bandits who's been threatening the town" or "is it morally correct to kill this shitty businessman who's been holding people hostage and threatening to hack off their limbs" you have a reduced level of philosophical musing on like, "what is the purpose of martial arts, which is designed to kill people and what do I use martial arts for?" and "under what circumstances and situations would I personally find it morally correct to kill a man?" Which are all questions that Wuxia coming of age stories typically have, and I think MDZS does have, but expressed differently.
Again, it appears that the number of Real Live Human Beings that it is morally acceptable to have stabbed in your life is approximately 0 in this universe, and the expectation that you, personally, might have to fend off people trying to stab you over brunch is also approximately 0.
This also leads to a situation where like, questions of vengeance have very difficult escape hatches! If your parents are murdered on the job by an evil rampaging ghost, this is very sad and tragic and now you're an orphan and of course that's not good, but this is a occupational job hazard, not like, "Yeah Joe Bob from the sect down the street murdered my dad because #Reasons~, and now it's my legacy to grow up to murder Job Bob from the sect down the street to avenge my dad."
(I have a whole essay about how this pertains to both of the Nie Brothers, and how it pertains to JGY and also Jin Ling, and how this seems to routinely fuck people up in MDZS in a very specific way we don't typically see in other wuxias, but this is getting SO long as it is).
But yeah "the socially acceptable number of real living people (instead of ghosts or demons or fierce corpses or whatever) to have killed in your lifetime as a cultivator is approximately 0" means that the Sunshot Generation gets really really fucked up by all of this "killing real people" they did.
Which! might be why JFM was so slow to move on "yeah the Wen are threatening to kill your heirs." <- socially inconceivable behavior. Why society in general is so shocked by Xue Yang and the murder of the Chang <- which would be bad normally but not quite like this. And why no one did anything specific about JGS even if they felt he wasn't entirely correct. What are they going to threaten him with? Death???? A trial of his peers? Social Shunning??? Public shame???
"But Tav how does this relate to CQL!Su She's morality?" I hear you ask. Well you see, the question of "he should've been ready to die for his sect!" is utterly baffling in a society where nobody is expected to be ready to die for their sect on a regular basis because the idea that you should be ready for someone trying to stab you before brunch is utterly nonsensical in a world where most people expect that the baseline number of murders a cultivator does in their lifetimes is 0. That's the world he lives in.
On this regard CQL!Su She is utterly blameless. Nobody handed him a rulebook or expectations sheet for "the sect down the street will try to kill you" nor SHOULD they expect he'd be ready to die at a drop of a hat when no part of the education or social expectations include "ready to die for your sect because it's routine for people to try to kill you."
If you don't even expect to be stabbed and possibly die at a discussion conference where there are lots of cultivators from many sects why on EARTH would you expect to be facing down death in your own home when there's. cultivators here to kill you, this situation is so out of left field?
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wordsnstuff · 4 months
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Hi!
I have reached out to more people, but I'm still having problems with this, and I wanted to hear another opinion.
As a writer, do you have problems continuing a story once you hit a difficult scene?
Because I do, and honestly it's getting me frustrated at this point.
I have a good idea and a plot already done, but every time I hit a difficult scene I just get stuck, and can't write for weeks, sometimes months. I hardly even open the documents when it happens, and sometimes it comes right when I'm on a writing spree and being happy with my writing.
Do you have any advice on how to deal with this? How can I get past this issue and just keep writing more frequently?
I'd really like to hear it!
What do you do when you hit a snag?
When approaching this topic, the frustrating thing is that age-old advice has a lot of truth to it. Sometimes it is true that the best thing you can do when you're stuck is to stop struggling against the resistance and take a meaningful, intentional break to rest your mind and reset your thought process. Sometimes the key to getting started again is shaking up the routine and the altering the process until you find a new combination of habits that meet you where you are.
However, for a lot of us, the turmoil reaches deeper than that. A lot of people who do creative things are neurodivergent, so that has a place in the conversation when discussing what's preventing us from realizing our vision. Even if you don't identify with specific neurodivergence, there are a lot of tools and techniques that have been tried and tested for coping with immense, intrinsic difficulty with things like productivity, mindfulness, interoception, focus, and consistency. Just because these techniques are not specifically designated for you doesn't mean they won't be effective for you.
It is always a helpful exercise to take a step back and examine how you're feeling, both when you are writing and when you aren't, and try to identify any areas where you might be able to improve by changing things within your control.
When it comes to a specific scene holding you back from carrying on, I usually find that it's the result of a decision I made earlier in the plot that isn't serving the story as it continues to develop. I would take a chunk of time to take an analytical look at the scene, where it's come from, what is and isn't sparking in it (is the stagnation mostly due to the characters, events, environment, or lack of information, and is it a scene that is imperative to the reader's understanding?). A lot of the time, it's a scene that can be cut, or it's a scene that can be made redundant by infusing the necessary information of the scene into another place within the story.
If you've identified a scene as "a difficult scene", ask yourself why. If it's daunting because it's too long, then it can probably be cut way down and then added to later if while editing it seems a little thin. If it's challenging because things aren't falling into place and you aren't getting into a flow, then the set-up for the scene probably hasn't been developed effectively and you need to decide whether you're gonna go back in the draft to investigate or move on and return to it while editing.
If the information in the scene needs to be communicated at this specific point in the story, the problem might be the way you've chosen to present it. Pay attention to what your instincts are telling you, because pushing through a scene for the sake of getting past it will not produce a compelling scene to read. If you need to move past it, you have permission to do that. You can always come back and completely dig it up later.
Overall, I think it's very important to write with acceptance that the plot may not turn out the way you planned it. The process is much more effective and much more enjoyable if you aren't trudging along on a predestined path. If the characters and story develop outside of the lines, see where they go. You'll always have the opportunity to return to the outline and tailor later.
Best of luck,
x Kate
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chiwhorei · 6 months
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【 Fᴜᴄᴋ ᴍᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴍᴇ. 】
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╰┈➤ I found this?? In my drafts??
╰┈➤ Tags: no edit, drabble, NSFW, A/B/O, knotting, pain, pussy-drunk alpha!Kiba x fem reader
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I think Kiba would nearly fuck you dead while he’s in heat. his knot would literally tear you in half and he’s always so worried about going too far. If he looses control, he could break you open cunt. first.
And that’s what you seem to want.
The way your pussy stretches to accommodate his fattened shaft makes his eyes gloss over. No one else has ever taken him like this even when he’s not in heat.
He used to fuck you like you were porcelain, bracing for the splintering of glass and never letting himself let go completely. Even on a normal day, Kiba would still the roll of your hips with stern, white-knuckled grip.
“Let’s not bite off more than we can chew, sweetheart.”
His voice barely passes between his teeth, his canines sharp and glinting brightly.
You’d let him eat you alive. And that fucking scares Kiba.
You’ve been flirting with the point of no return for a while now, grinding on his painfully hard cock when his heat comes on. Seeing how far you can push him until he rips you off of his lap and locks himself in another room.
You had to beg him to let you sleep over tonight, promising to tell him if he’s going too far- but nothing of the sort is coming through the unintelligible garble of moans and pleads your lips are spilling.
He’s been lapping at your pussy for what feels like hours, nipping at your sensitive clit with a measured bite- not too hard, he reminds himself. He’s playing with God tonight too.
Eating your pussy is all Kiba’s confident in doing while his heat is pouring molten lava into his veins, but tonight is the worst it’s been in a long time. Even his jaw feels like it’s on a hairpin trigger.
He should have left town, begged you to stay far away. But you wouldn’t have listened, you never do, and fuck, that makes Kiba’s cock pulse.
Your pussy is drowning him, giving and giving with no end in sight. How many times has he felt the spasm of your pussy against his mouth tonight? Kiba’s lost count. It’s only when you start calling out for him that he rips his mouth from your cunt with a growl.
“I need you Kiba, I need you so much it hurts.” The way your voice sounds like a cry for help makes him dizzy.
Even stone sober, Kiba can’t refuse you, he’s holding onto his resolve by his teeth. Your body’s writhing like liquid gold directly under the swollen shaft aching in his sweatpants.
“You know I can’t let you take my knot like this baby.” He’s begging you more than he’s telling you no. Begging you not to ask him again, because he’s running out of control by the second.
“Kiba please..” your voice is a sirens call, the last syllable still at the tip of your tongue as he’s pulling his pants down. His cock is rutty and thicker at the base than you could have imagined.
“If I tear you in half, just know that it’s your fault,” he pushing in as slow as he can, hand shaking a bit as he holds the tip against your twitching little hole.
Kiba lowers to his elbows, trapping you like a fawn in the jowls of a wolf. His teeth are barred as he pushes in, an inch farther, another, until you feel the swell of his base against your lips.
Fuck. You’re tight enough to be lethal. So taughtly stretched around his shaft that it’s almost painful. Kiba pushes his knot in completely, balls slapping against your ass. Your breath catches, eyes rolling to the back of your head and for just a moment Kiba worries he’s earnestly fucked you to death.
But then he feels it, your pussy constricting and relaxing around him like he’s so, so familiar with. Your hips start to buck in search for more. You need more.
“Kiba, fuck me like you’re trying to kill me. Please.”
How’s he supposed to say no to that?
₊✧˚﹕︶︶︶﹕૮₍ ⸝⸝´ ꒳ `⸝⸝ ₎ა﹕︶︶︶﹕ ˚✧₊
❥ ᴄʜɪᴡʜᴏʀᴇɪ.2023©️ ᴀʟʟ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ. Dᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ʀᴇᴘᴏs��.
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authornina · 9 months
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Savvy Day Care
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***THIS HAS NOT BEEN THROUGH A TYPICAL EDITING PROCESS; ALL SHORTS ARE ROUGH DRAFTS***
Sav sat in the driver seat of their shared brand-new Mercedes Benz sprinter passenger van going over his checklist to make sure he had all of his nieces. They had so many children and counting, a regular little mini-van wouldn’t do—like on ballet and gymnastics days that they all had together or when Jacob did field trips with them. Minus the boys who rarely made any fuss, all nine girls were very specific at times and some didn’t like sharing seat belts or their personal space if they weren’t in the best mood, so they invested in a sprinter and it’d been smooth sailing since.
“Melody, she so pretty make my heart all fluttery.”
“Here,” she cheerfully replied to her uncle. She didn’t always get to spend a lot of time with her father’s side of the family so being in the presence of her uncle and cousins made her happy.
“Delightful Damaris, she gon’ be a stunnin’ runway model in Paris.”
“Here!”
“Pretty Poppy, all these hoes gon’ wanna copy.”
“Here me go, Uncle Sav!”
“Savannah my precious banana,” Sav called then looked in the mirror and she raised her hand, still not able to verbally communicate much but they were working on it day by day. They mostly depended on sign language. He and Chi were just thankful she was able to walk on her own now without assistance. “Queen Day B, my G!”
“Here daddy!” she giggled.
“Aubree my gorgeous lil cup of tea.”
“Here,” she blushed.
“Ivory, my cute honeybee.”
“I’m right here,” she replied bashfully.
They loved their pet names given by Uncle Sav.
“Lovely Loire, even though you mean you the one I’ll always adore.” “Hmph!” she folded her arms with a scowl. The last thing she wanted to do was be in a leotard, tights, ballet shoes and a slick back bun. She looked just like a little Lake with an attitude.
“Ion know what hmph mean lil girl.”
“Me here!” Loire pouted, attitude on a hundred.
“You gon’ be flung over the bushes you keep actin’ up,” Sav threatened and she poked her lip out, and started crying into her sister’s arm. “My beautiful River gon’ always have my back and deliver…slaps! To ya muhfuckin’ dome on behalf of her uncle!”
“Here, Uncle Savy,” she laughed. “You make my sister cry,” River put her arm around Loire.
“She made her lil bad ass self cry. Loire cut it out before I get Sugar Sprinkle Pickle,” he referred to their dog that Lake let them name and she straightened up real quick. For some reason she was afraid of that little ass chihuahua. “Ard, everybody got their seatbelts on?” “Yes!” they all responded at the same time, Savannah nodding her head up and down.
“Do anybody gotta go number one or two before I pull off?”
“Nooo!”
“Goin’ once, goin’ twice, and we out!”
Jacob was on vacation for a week so what he’d usually tend to with their children was split between Sav, Lake, and Dem. Vant declined to help, wanting to use all of his free time from the kids trying to give Ivy another baby which she refused.
They had so many kids that keeping them active was necessary. They had tons of energy which needed to be channeled in something productive other than fighting with one another. Leave them in the house for too long, barrettes were flying, hair was being pulled and nothing but crying and screaming filled the air.
Once they arrived at the studio, Sav parked and got out making all of the girls hold hands as they crossed the lot. They basically had private lessons seeing as their group made up one class.
“Good afternoon!” their teacher, Ms. Farrah smiled as each of her tiny ballerinas marched into the studio. While the class went on Sav sat to the side taking pictures and videos, sending them in the group chat.
Avery: Fix Loire bow, she get on my nerves with that lil ass attitude! Ivy: Why is Aubree actin’ like we don’t practice the pliè at home? Ooh that girl! Vant: Fuck off my daughter bro Ivy: STFU! Avery: Nobody is talking about Damaris eatin’ everybody up though Chi: Straight running circles around them! Show them how it’s done Maris! Sav: My Banana is the best one Chi: And she is! Avery: She is doing so good, I’m so proud of her Ivy: Me too. Vant: Love Banny and all but I’m not bouta sit here and lie Ivory killin’ all them! Avery: LIES! It’s Damaris, River, THEN my pookie poo Ivory Ivy: Avery don’t make me kick your ass. Avery: Facts are facts! Lake: Can y’all all shut the fuck up? Chi: Husband! Why you gotta be so mean? Avery: Chi. Ivy: CTFU! Sav: I’m mutin’ y’all dickheads now Chi: You better not nigga! Ivy: Whose making dinner tonight? Avery: Not me! I’m tired and my back is hurting Chi: I can’t cook Lake: That’s why you need to sit the fuck down somewhere Avery: Do you see how you talk to me?😭 Ivy: Omg! Avery go away, you wasn’t complaining how he talk to you or crying when you laid up and got your ass pregnant again! He said sit down somewhere so SAT DOWN! Chi: Husband I woulda been sittin’ Sav: Chi get your fuckin’ head knocked off Vant: At least she lay down and get pregnant, some people act like it’s gon’ ruin their fuckin’ life to have another baby. Ivy: Vant do not start! You are not the one that has to PHYSICALLY go through a pregnancy! Vant: If I could carry my own fuckin’ babies I would! Sav: This nigga gay Wreck: Gay asf Vant: 🖕🏾
Pav: The girls are so cute! I wish I had a daughter to do ballet Sav: You late Pav: We were all napping Chi: You always sleep, let me find out you lettin’ Daly do you like Lake Daly: 🍆
Ivy: Okayyyyyyyyyyy! Get it get it! Vant: Ivy. Relax my nigga. Avery: I swear this is the last one. I can’t do this anymore. We’re gonna have to use condoms. Lake: Yea ok Ivy: TMI Chi: I would never make big daddy—nevermind Sav: Wait till I get home. Ima put a dent right in your fuckin’ forehead. Avery: LMAOOOOO! Big daddy that bitch! Chi: 🖕🏾 Dem: I’m not reading all that shit Ivy: Heyyy bookie Dem: Hey Avery: LMAO! Dem did you eat? Dem: No Avery: You want me to cook you some food? Sav: But you just said you was tired and your back was hurtin but now that Dem ain’t ate shit you got the energy Avery: Hater much? Vant: I’ll cook Wreck: Then I’m stayin home Daly: Me too Lake: I’m not eatin’ nothin Vant cook Pav: I will cook. Geez. Everybody be here by 8 Vant: Ayeee! Wreck: I’ll be over there Sav: You cook better than Avery anyway Avery: 🖕🏾
Sav: Ard the class is over. I’m takin all they asses to my house for a minute. Chi: Lord. Let me put up all my good shit Ivy: Don’t do that to them lmao Chi: You know they bad as shit! Sav: No, THEY kids is bad as shit. My babies is good. Dem: And mine Avery: So what tf are y’all saying? Ivy: Exactly! Wreck: Lake and Vant got some bad ass kids. Lake: Ok Daly: Now I need to put up all our good shit Ivy: Vant? Vant: Man…Ion feel like fightin’ and our kids is bad as shit Ivy: Wow. Sav: Bye dickheads!
Putting the phone in his pocket, Sav gathered his tribe of little ladies. They all walked to the van hand in hand talking over one another.
“Loire, you feel better?”
“Yes!” she answered her uncle now all smile. Sometimes it took his niece a minute to warm up.
“Good…who wanna go bother auntie Chi?”
“Meeeeee!” they all raised their hands at the same time.
“She’s my mommy,” Sav heard Day say.
“And she’s my auntie,” Aubree sassed.
“Don’t be mean to me.”
“Talk to the hand!”
“Daddy!” Day shouted. “She put her hand in my face,” she whined.
“Aubree chill out.”
“I’m tellin’ my daddy on you!” Aubree asserted.
“And what he supposed to do?”
“Beat chu up.”
“Your daddy can’t beat my daddy,” River added twisted her neck.
“I bet he can!”
“No he can’t!
“Ard,” Sav laughed. “Y’all chill, it ain’t that deep.”
“But Uncle Savy, she—”
“It’s ard River,” Sav turned to her giving her a look. “We know the real.”
River nodded then rolled her eyes at Aubree. “My daddy still can whoop uncle Vant, I seen him do it,” she whispered just having to get the last word.
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nomizombie · 3 months
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[König and the cafeteria] König x GN!Reader
[SFW/Fluff/Wholesome] ; you're friends with könig, the quiet giant no one talks to because they're either terrified of him or find him off-putting..., established friendship, könig has social anxiety, no y/, gender-neutral reader, mutual pining...? maybe...
[A/N] ; sorry guys!! ill post the poll winner soon i just needed a small drabble to clear my head after editing the same draft for so long :,)
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König is an anxious man. Especially in a crowded space. Too many people. He can feel the eyes on him, judging him, talking about him.
He's big. He knows that. But, does everyone always have to gasp when they see him? Crane their necks when they pass by? He's tired of it all.
The cafeteria is loud and busy. There's people shuffling around everywhere. He doesn't have anywhere to hide.
“Are you okay?” A sudden voice interrupts his train of thought.
It takes him a moment to process what you said.
“Oh. Oh yes! Ja, of course.” He turns to you, smiling awkwardly under the balaclava.
How did he manage to befriend you? He’s so… difficult to be around.
“You seem anxious.” You continue. The trembling hands were just one of the many signs.
“I am?”
Thats when he finally looks below the canteen bench and notices his hand resting on top of yours, mindlessly playing with your fingers and drawing circles in your palm.
“Oh.”
You snicker, “Embarrassed?” You say grinning.
He doesnt answer, instead opting to lifing his hand up quickly. A feeble attempt to escape.
Another giggle escapes you as you grab his hand firmly, settling it back down to its resting place. Under the table.
His eyes are wide as he stares at you, before they drop down to the tight grip you have on him.
You’re giggling until you notice that his shocked eyes aren’t from your touch… and hes still trembling slightly. Theres a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead too…
“König? You alright?” His eyes are distant.
Again, it takes him a second to register your speech.
He smiles awkwardly again, “Yeah! Of course, of course...”
"Is it the people?" You ask concern spread all over your face. The two of you had been friends long enough for you to recognise the signs of his anxiety.
"I'm fine really!" he laughs, clearly trying to cover it up.
"You're shaking." Your eyes point downwards at the hand that refuses to rest.
"Right."
He can't hide anything from you.
"But really! I'm fine, I'm fine. Just great."
"You don't have to lie to me."
His eyes finally focus on you. They search your face before meeting your concerned ones.
"Ach, well. I'm just- You know, nervous." He purses his lips. His eyes dart to the people skittering by, trays in hand. There are conversations from other nearby tables ringing in your ears. It's packed.
You tighten your grip on his hand and he softly smiles at it.
"Thank you."
Your eyes crinkle in response. He smiles back, you can tell despite the mask covering his nose and mouth. His eyes are more expressive than you thought.
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ty for reading! sorry.. the drafts from the poll will come out soon... i just needed a break from working them so i wrote this quick 15min drabble (-w- ;)
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quitealotofsodapop · 2 months
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Hi! It's me again :3, I don't know (and remember) if anyone has asked this before but I would like to know:
How did OG!MK feel when he found out that SW is his father in another dimension (I feel like Mei would say something like "See? I told you he was your dad" or something)
If it happens before S4, I feel like Mk would be a little jealous of his other self seeing that he doesn't have the problem of not knowing who his biological parents.
(The idea occurred to me when I remembered a tiktok that said MK used any type of editing app to get an idea of ​​what his parents would look like 🥲)
omg if you have that tiktok I'd love a link XD
Think i did do a post like that ages ago, but only with an earlier draft of TMKATI and canon. Now I have like three more verses to torment MK with >:)
When the Canon verse and the other verses collide, the quickest thing the MKs would notice is their appearances.
OG!MK: "Whoa!! These me's are monkey demons!" TMKATI!MK: "And you guys are... human???" SlowBoiled!MK: "Yeah, why wouldn't him- I mean me be?" CenturyEgg!MK: "I don't know about you guys - but my parents are monkey demons. Then again my gūtā [dad's gender neutral older sibling] is human, I think???" JTTWEgg!MK: "My parents are monkey demons! The coolest monkey demons ever I may brag." TMKATI!MK: "Oh no way! My parents are monkey demons too! i have a bunch of adopted siblings though. Does your dad work with Bóbo[dad's older brother] Pigsy too?" CenturyEgg!MK: "No cus Uncle Pigsy and Tang lives in the city. We all live on Flower Fruit Mountain - but we visit as often as possible! Uncle Sandy ferries us across all the time." :3 OG!MK: "Wow!! You two live on the mountain!? What's it like?" JTTWEgg!MK, shrugging: "It's cool." CenturyEgg!MK: "Sometimes feel pressured by my role as Heir to the Stone Throne - but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I really don't like having to visit the Celestial Realm though. The nobles are kinda mean about my dad cus he caused a bunch of havoc a long time ago." The Other MKs: "wut" OG!MK: "Uh... Please explain who your parents are?" CenturyEgg!MK, confused by their confusion: "Sun Wukong the Monkey King, and Liu'er Mihou the Sage of Wind??? I thought you guys were too???" JTTWEgg!MK: "Yeah, mine are too. I thought you guys knew??" SlowBoiled!MK: "No- well kind- it's complicated! Ok!?" TMKATI!MK: "Not me. My parents are normal monkey demons, dude." OG!MK: "Oh my gods the Monkey King *is* our dad in another universe! Mei is never gonna let me forget this!" CenturyEgg!MK: "Well techinically he's my mom too so..." The Other MKs: "lol wat?" JTTWEgg!MK: "lol same."
The different MKs collaborate to tell stories about themselves (and get a solid PSA on Stone Eggs) while their respective Meis are snapping photos with eachother.
The different monkeys watch on nervously. The different monkey kings are sitting politely as their Macaques hiss at eachother from across the room.
OG!SWK: "So uh... did you tell him yet?" Other Monkeys: "Tell him what?" SlowBoiled!SWK: "About him being made by Nuwa, or the fact that we were forced to abandon him?" The CenturyEgg and TMKATI monkeys: "What." TMKATI!SWK, laughing nervously: "What? Oh gods no. I thought you guys meant telling him who we are!" The Other Monkeys: "Wut" CenturyEgg!SWK: "Your MK doesn't know that you guys are... Us?" TMKATI!LEM: "Nah, we've sorta been off-the-grid ever since genius here [thumb-points at his SWK] got me pregnant with our MK." The Stone Egg au SWKs: "Hah!" "Uno reverse card, plums!" Stone Egg LEMs: *all three have varying looks of horror, indignance, and bashfulness* SlowBoiled!LEM: "I said I was sorry!" OG!LEM: "Wait... what do you mean by sorry?" SlowBoiled!LEM, looking uncomfortable: "Cus of our uh... fight under the Mountain, and me not returning to feed him, I sorta caused Wukong's body to create a Stone Egg... and then I sorta died before I found out so..." JTTWEgg!LEM: "Ooof. Glad I learned early then." CenturyEgg!SWK, to his SlowBoiled counterpart: "Oh bummer, you got left with Stone Egg all the way back then? I started up the process willingly after I had to seal away DBK. When was the little guy born?" SlowBoiled!SWK: "Little lady actually. Yuebei was born about six months ago. Our MK was crafted by Nuwa - then again I did raise him the first year until I became too weak to care for him..." *looks sad* TMKATI and CenturyEgg monkeys: "Oh no..." :( "Stone eggs are super dangerous to the people around them. I don't blame you." JTTWEgg!SWK: "Odd. I got an Egg from the mountain too - but mine was born shortly after I completed the Journey. And mine was our MK. Did losing Mihou make the process longer??" OG Monkeys: "What?" "How many of you have MK as your kid!?" (*Cue them having to make a Venn Diagram of Whos' MK is What to Whom*) OG!SWK: "Ok so! Mine and the guy with the super-adorbs baby got our MKs dumped on us." SlowBoiled Monkeys: *proudly showing photos of their Yuebei* OG!LEM: "The me in sweatpants had him cus of a comet /slash/ stone egg soul mishap." TMKATI!LEM: "Oh, my Wukong was still responsible there. He sealed the Harbringer's soul inside me after using a sealing spell. TMKATI!SWK: "I panicked, ok!" OG!SWK, pointing at the remaining universes: "Annnd you two literally birthed him yourselves." CenturyEgg and JttwEgg SWKs: "Yup." "Stone shell and all." OG!SWK: "...is there anything else I'm missing?" The other universes: (*scratching their chins in thought*) SlowBoiled!LEM, slyly: "So are you guys back together yet, or what?" OG Monkeys: "What!?" "As if!"
Laughter just erupts around the room as the canon shadowpeach pairing realises that they're the odd ones out as *not* being together.
Complete and utter chaos reigns when the parent and MK groups reunite, and they recognise some sort of connection...
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cherryheartssblog · 1 month
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SOUTHSIDE GIRL
Summary: based on the theme around the tv show Shameless. Y/N lived in the southside of Chicago all her life with her three other siblings she basically is raising. Getting out finding a nice steady job for once, her boss Negan Smith seems more than happy to treat her like a queen.
Warnings: 18+, smut, major shameless vibes!- I mean if you watch shameless you know, lower income households!, mentions of smoking!, rich Negan!, reader has three siblings!, daddy issues, small daddy kink!, slight mommy issues!, cursing, praise kink!, drinking!, anger issues!, dom negan!, lower income neighborhood!, rough sex!, major family issues!, semi-public sex!,jealous tendencies!,age gap!, cursing, and not fully edited.
A/N: thank you all for 275 followers!! I haven’t been doing this too long and getting support and the love is honestly appreciated!! I am currently working on drafts with the yearly vacation! I lost inspiration for a bit but it’s coming back thankfully!! Now, this is FULLY based around shameless tv show- which I’m currently rewatching! This honestly could be a series
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The club was unbelievably loud.
Y/N and Valerie had just left the dimly lit bar and entered the pulsating crowd to join the dance floor. The two had met a couple of years ago in the bustling city of Chicago and had quickly become inseparable best friends. Valerie had been out in the town when she stumbled upon Y/N at a bar, and they hit it off immediately. Despite living on opposite sides of town, Y/N was on the south side of town.
Her life was different.
Valerie and Y/N had been at the club for a few hours. They had been sipping on drinks and swaying to the music on the dance floor, surrounded by a crowd. Y/N had a smoke break, and Valerie finally returned to the dance floor as they danced together. "I noticed that man was eyeing you at the bar earlier," Y/N responded with a smile. Valerie playfully rolled her eyes, "Don't worry, I won't leave you alone. I know plenty of men have been checking you out all night."
Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes playfully. “None on my eyes, though,” Y/N admitted; she was perfectly fine. Usually, they just turned into one-night stands or a fling relationship for a while. “Come on, let's get a drink and sit down for a bit, yeah?” Valrie implied, fixing her heels while the girls walked their way back to the bar, “these fucking heels are killin’ me.”
Y/N couldn't help but laugh as she took a seat beside her friend at the bar. The ambiance was lively, and the bartender greeted them with a warm smile. "What can I get you two lovely ladies?" he asked, his hands resting in front of them on the bar. Valerie, with a playful wink, ordered two vodka shots and two spiked lemonades, handing him the cash and telling him to keep the change. The clinking of glasses, the buzz of conversation, and the soft glow of the dimly lit bar all added to the atmosphere.
Y/N scanned the dimly lit bar, her gaze was drawn to an older, yet undeniably attractive man a few feet away. Leaning casually on the bar, he held a glass of what appeared to be whiskey and his eyes were fixed on her. Despite the distance between them, his gaze was intense and impossible to ignore. Y/N's lips curved into a subtle smile as she turned back to Valerie, who was already gushing with excitement. "He just gave us another round of shots for free!" Valerie squealed, placing two shots in front of Y/N along with her drink.
Y/N gestured to the numerous drinks placed in front of them. “Yeah, no more drinks for me after this." Valerie snorted and responded, "Free shots are free shots, girl!" She quickly grabbed her shot and brought it to her lips, handing Y/N's over to her to take together. The shot was bitter; it made her throat tighten. She sipped her spiked drink a bit, grimacing at the shot, shaking it off rather quickly.
As Y/N and Valerie were enjoying their drinks at the bar, a young man with his eyes on Valerie approached them. He seemed to be around the same age as them, and his charming appearance caught Y/N's attention. He had a drink in his hand and appeared quite confident. Judging by Valerie's body language, it was clear that she was interested in him as well.
"Hey," He spoke to Valerie with a smile. "I was wondering if you'd like to dance with me for a bit?"
Valerie was hesitant to let herself go, but Y/N reassured her with a nod. "I'll be fine at the bar. Go, babe," Y/N reassured her with a confident smile before Valerie took the man's hand beside her and began a conversation. Y/N watched as they made their way to the dance floor, getting lost in the crowd. Suddenly, Y/N felt a presence near her and heard a deep voice she didn't recognize.
“Can I buy you a drink sweetheart?”
Y/N's focus was drawn to the rugged-looking man across the bar, who had caught her attention earlier. He was a middle-aged man, clad in a leather jacket that seemed to fit him perfectly. As she took a closer look at him, she couldn't help but notice his rough facial hair. What particularly caught her eye, however, were the intricate tattoos that adorned his hands, stretching up his arms and disappearing under his jacket. Suddenly, he saw her gaze, and with a charming smile, he signaled the bartender to bring them another round of drinks.
Y/N flashed the man a warm smile, finishing the last sip of her drink. "Who says I want a drink from you?" she asked, a playful smirk on her lips. Despite knowing she should not be attracted to this mysterious man, Y/N was drawn to his dark chuckle and intense gaze as they locked eyes. As the bartender placed their drinks in front of them, the man spoke up. "I thought you might like some company. I've been watching you all night," he admitted, picking up his drink.
Y/N scoffed out playfully, her eyes rolling with a smile. “Oh, don't be a stalker. It isn't sexy.” Y/N playfully teased the man, who gave her a warm laugh. “I thought you women liked it when we were stalkierish.” Y/N knew she was blushing like crazy, she hoped the night club lights covered up her reddened face.
“Negan.” The man held his hand out for her to shake, which made her laugh; she couldn't stop laughing with him. “Y/N, you're an oddball, aren't ya?” Y/N teased, sipping her drink and leaning against the bar resting in her chair.
“Maybe so, sweetheart. Only one way to find out: stay talkin’ to me.” Negan smile was even drawing her in; she knew this could be a bad idea. Y/N's lips pierced; she did not want to stop talking to him, but a small voice inside her head was telling her to stop. “Let's see if you can keep my attention, Negan.” Y/N eyes were eating this man alive, and he saw right through her. The older male chucked, sipping his drink.
“You from here?” Negan wondered, his eyes trailing down her body. He'd been watching her for weeks, the only woman that ever caught his attention in this place. “Southside,” Y/N admitted she was never ashamed of who she was. “Southside girl, huh?” Negan's voice was playful, his smirk still plastered on his face, “All you south side girls crazy?”
Y/N snickered at his comment, shrugging and finishing the rest of her drink. “We are bat shit crazy.” Y/N teased him once more, and she couldn't help but flirt with this man. “I think I can manage with that.” Negan gestured to her empty drink, “Want another one, sweetheart?”
Y/N nodded, continuing to talk to Negan. They shared stories and experiences that they would never have revealed to anyone, but in that moment, they felt safe enough to confide in each other. The connection they formed was quick to create, and they both knew that this conversation would stay with them for a long time.
Negan was a successful executive who held a position of authority at a prominent company in the bustling city. Having recently gone through a divorce with no children, he confided in Y/N that his dedication to his work had taken precedence over his relationship with his former partner. Despite his busy schedule, Negan frequently visited the local club with a few of his close poker buddies, hoping to meet new people.
Amongst all the women he had met, Y/N was the only one who caught his attention. As the night progressed, Y/N opened up to Negan about her new job that she recently just got. How she and Val were celebrating, and she started the next day. Y/N needed this job desperately, even expressing some to Negan.
Despite her usually reserved nature, Y/N found herself opening up to Negan and sharing more about her life with him.
“Shit, your parents are dicks no offense sweetheart.” Negan and Y/N were on their fourth drink, Y/N even snorted at his comment not even disapproving of his comment. Her father was in and out of the house, the neighborhood drunk. Her mother went insane taking off when Y/N was young. She barley told anyone about them, how she was at home even still with her siblings.
“I don't take any offense, trust me.” Y/N knew she was feeling the liquor. She felt like her and Negan could continue talking for hours. Valerie was the only thing that helped Y/N return to reality and down to where time existed.
Valerie and the man who offered her dance had been dancing for an hour, which surprised Y/N how long she had been talking to Negan. “We were going to party a bit more; you good?” Valerie asked her best friend, her eyes shifting between the two with a smirk.
“I think I can manage.”
The two were left alone again; Y/N hated how she wanted to throw herself onto this man already. Hell- that's what most of her one-night stands were. Most of them even have this much talking. Y/N figured this was how the night would end. He would be deep inside of her, pounding her, not that she is complaining.
Y/N's hand was resting on Negan's, and as they locked eyes, chills ran down his spine. He felt his eyes darken with desire, even though he knew he shouldn't be feeling this way about a younger woman like her. "I may be coming on too strong," she spoke out, her grip on his hand tightening. "But we could go off somewhere, too." Her voice was low and husky, sending shivers down his spine. Negan could feel the heat rising between them, and he knew he had a decision to make.
For the past month, he had been frequently visiting this place, but it wasn't until he saw her that he felt truly captivated. Every time she hit the dance floor with her friend, he couldn't help but watch her every move. There was something about her that seemed to radiate an aura of energy and joy, making her stand out from the crowd. Eventually, the moment he saw her alone, he knew he had to make his move and approach her.
He knew she was just different.
The silence sitting thick between the two was suffocating. Y/N and Negan were standing face to face, their eyes locked in a heated gaze. Y/N was well aware of the fact that what she was about to do was not the best decision, but her eagerness got the best of her. Negan, on the other hand, knew that he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't resist the grip of Y/N's hands.
Suddenly, Y/N broke the intense silence between them, "I'm gonna go use the little girls' room, wanna make sure no one messes with me?" She pouted her lip, playfully begging Negan with her eyes. Negan's lips curled up in amusement as he saw right through her playful act.
“Lead the way, sweetheart.”
Hand in hand, going through the crowd, they headed off to the bathroom, which Y/N barely saw empty, but this time, they both were lucky with no line to the toilet. Down the hallway, the music silenced; before Y/N could entirely turn around, his lips were against hers as soon as the guilt hit her. Y/N could barely take her next breath and forced her into the bathroom room behind her. He quickly twisted the lock, having Y/N against the door wrapped around his body. He had his hands roaming her body like he had been wanting her for months. She could not say much with how her hands were all in his hair, roaming her nails down his clothed back.
Y/N felt the dress that hugged her thighs trail up along with his hands, squeezing her thighs roughly. The pain mixed with pleasure made her moan into his kiss, his lips resisting to move from hers. Negan had her quickly near the nearest wall, still having him wrapped around him in his lap. Y/N could already feel his thick cock pressing against his core; she reached into his pants to unzip them. Began stopped her hand for a moment, finally meeting her eyes.
Her face flustered, still the prettiest woman he'd ever met. “You did somethin’ like this for?” means words rolled off his tongue, and his eyes were darker and filled with lust. “I don't think that's any of your business, old man.” Y/N teased, getting a chuckle from Negan, squeezing her sides that tickled her slightly.
“Enough with the questions, fuck me.”
“Oh, you naughty girl,” Negan lip rubbed up her cheek, then teased her neck with tiny kisses. Y/N’s head laid back, giving Negan full access to her. Negan placed her hand on the palm of his jeans, letting her unzip his pants, “fucking a stranger In a bathroom. You little slut.”
Y/N whimpered, pulling out his thick cock as his jeans hit the floor along with his underwear. Negan’s fingers work expertly to her drenched cunt, pushing her underwear aside. He then let two of his fingers easily slide inside her wet cunt. “Shit girl, you’re still so fuckin’ tight.” He growls against her lips, Y/N tasting the alcohol on him, gripping his neck, letting his lips move against hers again.
Negan slipped his fingers away just when her orgasm was coming, she growled underneath her breath from the loss of touch. His cock teased her folds, moving to her entrance. His hands dug into her thighs, and she knew that she'd have bruises. “Please, fuck me,” Y/N begged him.
Both groaned aloud as she sank over Negan’s length, stretching her walls. He rocks you in her lap, thumb against her clit. Whimpering, Y/N nibbled on her bottom lip as he fucked her up into her against the wall. She held onto his neck for support, his hands covering her mouth. Negan groaned slightly into her neck; she felt his thrust get sloppier by the second.
They both stopped suddenly; Y/N felt her stomach drop, hearing the muffled music outside the bathroom. The door handles jiggle. Both looked at the door; Negan continued his thrust, getting deeper inside of her. Y/N moaned against his hand that still rested on her mouth, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.
“Fuck off!”
Y/N couldn't help but let out a laugh which Negan shared with her continuing his thrust, holding her now by the jaw and continuing to fuck her.
“Oh god— oh god—”
“Yeah, baby girl, that’s it,” Negan whispers huskily into her ear. His pace magnifies, thrusting up into her so hard that he can also make her scream. It was thick and hot, and Y/N could feel sweat all over her. “Good fuckin’ girl, that’s it; come round Daddy’s cock nice and hard.” Y/N soon slumped in his lap, uneven breaths rattling in both of their throats, feeling Negan come inside of her, her nails dug into the back of his neck, pulling his curls. Negan’s hands continued to roam her thighs, the words sending her over with her orgasm.
Both quickly cleaned up; Y/N wiped the running mascara down her face, trying to straighten up her dress. “After that, I think I need to ya again.” Negan laughed, pulling her to him and getting himself back dressed. “I am not a normal girl, Negan.” Y/N tried to tell him warmly how she felt, “I'd love to see you again, but I think I'd have you running off in a heartbeat.”
Negan kissed her cheek, and a smirk widened across his lips. “Don't worry, sweetheart; I think you'll see me again.” He left her in the bathroom alone. Y/N finally let herself come back down to earth, breathing and looking into the mirror.
She definitely was a different girl.
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Y/N didn't even have time to think about last night.
“You guys, the bus leaves at 7:10AM sharp, let's go!" Y/N frantically yelled. Her little sister, Hannah, was brushing her teeth beside her, while her twin brother, Hayden, was still in his underwear, refusing to put on his pants. Y/N tried to reason with Hayden, "Hayden, pants now!" Meanwhile, Kevin, their other brother, was chasing after Hayden, causing chaos in the house. Y/N had to be careful not to get knocked down by the running boys as she grabbed clothes from the bathroom hamper.
Y/N couldn't resist a small smile as she made her way down the stairs, the sound of her sibling's roughhousing filling the air. "Boys please!" she called out, her voice firm but gentle as she attempted to restore some order in the chaotic household. With a bundle of clothes in her arms, she continued on to the laundry room, hoping to get the chore done without any further interruptions.
Her life was definitely different.
Y/N did a lot for her siblings, maybe too much. But her parents weren't around to help. Since Y/N could remember, it had always been like this.
Y/N, a woman in her twenties, was the eldest among her siblings. She assumed the role of taking care of her younger brothers and sisters. Her siblings were everything to her.
Hannah and Hayden are identical twins; both just started the sixth grade. Y/N had some help from their other brother, Kevin. Kevin was 15 years old; he was such a bright kid.
After struggling with the washing machine, she had breakfast already prepared for them, with eggs and toast neatly arranged on the kitchen counter. The bags containing their lunches were already packed and waiting for them, wrapped in brown bags.
Y/N was in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes and exchanging greetings with her siblings. As she worked, she could hear the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. It was Kevin, her brother, who walked in and grabbed a couple of clean glasses from the cabinet. "Everything's ready to go, try to eat up quickly," Y/N said with a warm smile. Kevin poured himself and his siblings a glass of juice and then turned to Y/N.
“You're starting your new job today?" he asked with a curious look on his face. Y/N nodded, feeling a hint of nervousness in her voice. "Yeah, my shift is at 9 AM. Supper may be a little late tonight," she admitted. It had been a long time since she had worked a 9 to 5 job, and the thought of it made her feel a bit anxious. For the past few months, she had been doing odd jobs here and there to make ends meet.
Y/N got lucky with this job, she knew she could not fuck it up.
"Hey Kevin, do you think you could come up with a dinner?" Y/N requested as she looked at her brother hopefully. Kevin gave her a quick nod and patted her back, offering to help with the breakfast plates. "Go get ready for work, I've got this. Don't worry about dinner tonight," he reassured her. Kevin was proud of his sister for landing a job that made her so happy, and he was willing to take on multiple jobs to help pay the bills and support their family. He was glad to be able to contribute in any way he could, including taking care of their siblings.
"Thanks, alright you two I love you, have a good day." Y/N gave a quick hug to the younger twins, "I better not get any calls of any fires Hayden." She rubbed the top of her brothers head playfully messing up his hair. "No promises." Hayden playfully pushed his sister away with a laugh, holding his plate of breakfast.
Hannah, with a hint of anxiety in her voice, “Any news on dad?” They were all seated around the kitchen table, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling the air. Y/N and Kevin exchanged a meaningful glance, and then Y/N turned to Hannah with a reassuring smile. "I have a feeling he'll be back home in a few days, Hannah," Y/N said in a gentle tone. "Val mentioned that she saw him at work last night at her bar, so he's probably just taking some time for himself."
Y/N had a heavy heart as she thought about her father. She knew that he was probably sleeping beneath a bridge with a terrible hangover, but despite this, he seemed invincible. Nothing could take him down. She had long stopped worrying about him and instead focused on taking care of herself and her siblings. She knew that their well-being was now solely in her hands, and the weight of that responsibility was heavy.
Y/N had a cup of coffee, heading upstairs to prepare for her first day at work; she finally had time to reflect last night. She and Valerie went out just to party at that nightclub just to celebrate her getting a new job, yet she ended up fucking someone in the bathroom.
A stranger.
Maybe this was not new to her, but she at least never had sex in public- not with a stranger. All she knew was his first name, Negan. All she could think about was his hands over her mouth, covering her whimpers from moaning his name. Y/N groaned to herself looking at herself in the mirror trying to get ready for the day.
She knew she couldn't fuck this job up, this was the best place she had her self yet. Y/N kept telling herself, not to fuck up.
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The city was about 30 minutes out from the Southside, Y/N did it every weekend usually with Val. The city was always busy, no matter the time of day.
As Y/N got ready for work, she wore her office attire that Valerie had kindly lent her from the goodwill. After driving around for a while, she finally managed to find a parking space in the crowded parking garage. With her belongings in hand, she made her way to the elevator, ready to start her day. Y/N's office was located on the 12th floor, and she knew that she would have to start small. She wasn't even going to have her own office yet, and would spend most of her day sitting in front of a computer screen.
Y/N's heart was racing,she desperately needed the job, but she couldn't shake off the feeling that she didn't belong here. Growing up in the rough neighborhood of the southside, she was used to a completely different atmosphere. The thought of being surrounded by snooty, high-level executives made her feel even more out of place. She prayed that she would never have to go up there and face their judgmental eyes. Despite her nerves, she took a deep breath and walked into the building, hoping that she could prove herself.
Y/N walked into the building with nervous excitement. The woman at the front desk looked up and greeted her warmly. "Hi," Y/N said, "My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here for my first day. Tony told me to ask for him at the front desk." The older lady smiled and paged Tony through the intercom. Y/N knew Tony was the boss on the floor, and the Vice President of the company. She was sure it would be a while before she met the big boss, who probably wouldn't even give her the time of day. "He will be with you shortly, sweetheart. Please have a seat," the woman said, gesturing towards the chairs behind Y/N. Y/N sat down, her leg bouncing with anticipation.
Y/N’s thoughts wandered off to the man she met last night, Negan. His name echoed through her mind, refusing to leave her thoughts. She felt silly for constantly thinking about him, but the desire to talk to him again was overpowering. She despised how badly she wanted to bump into him at the bar again.
As Y/N walked into the office building, she felt a sense of excitement and nervousness. She had been eagerly waiting for this day for weeks, and now it was finally here. As she entered the reception area, a man approached her with a warm smile. It was Tony, the Vice President of the company, who looked like a kind and welcoming person. Tony greeted her, “Welcome Y/N!” Y/N returned with a smile and thanked him for the opportunity, feeling grateful for the warm welcome. Tony then led her through a long line of desks, where she saw people working diligently on their tasks. Some of them looked up to see her, but most of them were engrossed in their work. Y/N felt a sense of excitement and anticipation as she followed Tony.
Tony escorted Y/N to the elevator while explaining that she would mostly be working at her own desk. As they stepped into the elevator, Tony pressed the button to the top floor, leaving Y/N confused and with a twist in her stomach. “The big boss was wanting to meet ya.” Tony informed during the interview that she may never have the opportunity to meet him. The big boss was a mysterious figure who never came down from the top floor. Only Tony and the employees who worked on that floor had ever had the chance to meet him or even catch a glimpse of him.
“I-uh, May I ask why?” Y/N didn't want to seem rude, but she was nowhere ready to meet this man in this vast company, just some little employee. “Think he thought to be a perfect position for a job up there, wanted to talk to you.” Y/N's face widened, and she was utterly stunned when the elevator dinged; Tony escorted them off the elevator, going up to a woman at the front desk.
Y/N was nervous as she stood in front of Tony's office. She laughed nervously and shook her head when Tony suggested she meet Mr. Smith inside. "I- me? I don't think I am qualified for a place up here," she declared, her eyes falling to the younger woman at the desk. “He was pretty adamant about talking to you. Don't doubt yourself.” Tony quickly encouraged her, assuring her that Mr. Smith was interested in talking to her. After a moment of hesitation, Tony instructed the woman sitting at the desk to announce Y/N's arrival to Mr. Smith. The woman exited her seat and greeted Y/N with a warm smile.
“Ms. L/N follow me down this way.” The blonde lady gestured down the longer hallway leading to a tall black door. Y/N heels clicked along with the other ladies, she was beyond confused on why she was up here. She did not feel like she belonged where she was at right now. The lady opened the door for her to enter, Y/N watched behind her as she closed it turning to the man at the desk in the middle of the room.
“Are you fuckin’ with me right now?” Y/N couldn't help herself; she could not believe who sat at that desk. That smirk on his face grew, which drew her in the first place.
Negan was Mr. Smith.
The man from last night.
The man was her fucking boss, and she done fucked him in a night club bathroom.
“Language, is that any way to talk in front of your boss, sweetheart?” Negan questioned, teasing the younger woman. She scoffed with an eye roll, crossing her arms, clearly annoyed with the older male. “You knew, didn't you? The whole time- what, you just fuck all of your employees before they get on the job?” Y/N was furious; she felt like she was fuming. Negan, however, sat in his chair comfortablely with a playful smile and look.
“Wipe that smirk off your fuckin face! God, does it ever go away?” Y/N growled as Negan just chuckled at the younger woman. “You were right; you southside girls are crazy.” Negan stood from his chair, and his appearance was more formal than the last time she had seen him. She shouldn't still find this man attractive; she can not do this with him. But man, didn't he look good in a suit.
“I want to offer you a job up here, doll. I think you'd fit in well.” Negan offered to her, Y/N scoffed shaking her head. “I fit in? You have no idea who I am okay?” Y/N knew this would not be right for her, it felt she fucked her way to the top, “I just got here and your trying to put me up here with a bunch of snooty ass business women who if figured out I fucked you would leave nasty notes and trash on my desk til I quit.”
The young woman stood before Negan, her eyes meeting his as he regarded her with amusement. His gaze seemed to sparkle with a mischievous glow, and she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. Despite this, she found herself drawn to him, captivated by his magnetic presence. As he pierced his lips and gave her a slight nod, she could sense that he was lost in thought for a moment, considering something important.
"This isn't about that," he said, his voice softening as he moved closer to her. She could feel his breath on her cheek, and her heart began to race. "I'm trying to help you out, sweetheart. You would have your own office, your own space, and more pay. And let's not forget, I would be the one bossin' ya around, doll."
Negan's words were suggestive, and he winked at her with a devilish grin. The young woman tried to hold back a smile, but couldn't help feeling a twinge of anger towards him. It was a struggle for her to maintain her composure in front of him, her mind racing with conflicting emotions. Despite everything, she couldn't deny the attraction she felt towards him, even as she tried to resist his advances.
Negan towered over Y/N, his voice echoing in the quiet room. "Let me offer you this, sweetheart. Stay where you're at for a couple of weeks and see if you want to change your mind, that good?" His words hung in the air, heavy with tension as Y/N met his gaze. She found it difficult to breathe, watching his eyes grow darker by the second. Y/N simply gave him a quick nod, keeping her lips sealed tight. "I told you, doll, I'd see ya again," Negan joked, and Y/N couldn't help but burst out laughing, shaking her head at him. "Come on, you won't even let me take you out on one date?" he asked, a playful grin on his face.
“I can't date Negan; men don't want what my life is, Negan. My life is fuckin’ ridiculous,” Y/N admitted, “I'm still at home raising my siblings like they're my kids. My father, when he comes home, will sometimes be passed out in our kitchen or, even better yet, our fuckin’ yard.” Y/N’s life was nowhere like his life; she saw the tall buildings out behind him. The huge glass windows surrounded his office, which was huge and filled with books and awards.
“Look at your life and mine; it would never work.” Y/N was interested, but she could not bring herself to put himself in this life, her situation, “You could have anybody, Negan, to these people, I am just run down Southside chick.” Negan shook his head, disagreeing with the younger woman. “I don't think that, sweetheart,” Negan addmited, “You're different, that's for sure, but that's what drew me in.” Y/N’s eyes scanned over his for a moment, letting out a laugh rubbing her forehead.
“Fuck it.” Y/N lips instantly shot to his lips, catching him off guard for a moment. He pushed her back closer to his desk keeping his lips locked with hers.
"Sit your ass on my desk." He ordered as he pointed towards his deck. “Here, Now?” Y/N's voice cracked, her nerves settling in. “Don't make me ask again, doll.” Negan's voice was demanding. Y/N didn't question him, so she sat on the cold wood, chilling her spine.
Y/N’s free hand curled a finger into his belt loop and pulled him closer. She wrapped her legs around his hips, gently grinding into his significantly hardened cock in his black pants. “Shit, we need to be quick but not too quick, sweetheart,” he warned, tearing her wandering arm away from him and yanking it behind her back. She chuckled, gently wincing at the roughness, but it crumbled as soon as his lips found her neck.
Y/N’s back instinctively arched and rested on the desk underneath her. She kicked her head back a little to allow him access. Negan was greedy yet smooth, carefully working down to the low neck, ripping off her top. She let him pull her skirt down her hips, his satisfied smirk growing when her panties came into view. The thick pad of his finger found her clit through the thin fabric, slowly circling it. Her hips softly bucked in response as a cry ripped from her throat. Negan took the opportunity to latch onto her bare chest, teeth nipping at a mark he’d already planted.
“Fuck, you’re already so damn wet.” he panted, not wasting another second to slide her panties to the side and run his middle finger teasingly up her soaked cunt. He dipped his fingertip in, watching how she writhed at the sensation. “Fuck me, Negan, please,” Y/N begged, shoving her pride down her throat. He teased her folds with the tip of his dick, her back arching from the desk.
Everything necessary was not her right now; all she wanted was him. “Better fuck me before someone catches us.” Y/N pulled him back down into a kiss, which was rough and sloppy.
Negan snaked his hand to the back of her neck, pulling her deeper into the messy kiss. The feeling of his tongue on Y/N’s and his beard softly scratching her face made her whimper. His other went between her thighs, keeping them wide pushed his dick inside of her. She moaned against his mouth, steadying herself. “Negan,” Y/N’s knuckles turned white from how tightly she held onto his arms, gripping the other hand on the desk.
“Fuck,” Negan cursed when he felt how tight she was, practically squeezing around his cock. Both of them knew it wouldn’t last long, and if they kept knocking on the desk, the wall, and the volume, it would not be long til someone walked in. She could not get caught; they could not get caught.
Y/N would go down, and she would take this man down with her, but they were both consisting of adults. He hooked the backs of her legs underneath his arms and pounded into her, the angle hitting a spot that made her body go completely loose. Y/N’s head slid on the desk under the moans tumbled past her lips.
Negan's thrusts went deep and slowed down so subtly she almost didn’t notice.“That's it, let go, baby.” Negan’s voice rumbled in her ears, nearing a low growl. “You're gonna be mine, baby.” His voice sounded exhausted, chucking in her ear.
Y/N kept telling herself she would end up fucking this all up; she didn't expect to fuck her boss though. And him to actually wanna date her, stay with her. Her breathing was hard to catch up with, cupping his cheek and pulling him into a kiss.
“I'm yours.”
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fandxmslxt69 · 11 months
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Cute Library Boys
Steven Grant x f!Reader
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Warnings: Steven being too goddamn cute and fluff!! Some swearing, absolutely tooth rotting dorky-ness.
A/N: Oh my god this has been sitting in drafts for so long but I finally finished editing ahahah. Idk how I feel about it ngl, its cute and has me giggling but !!!! idk. Anyway this IS inspired by a prompt: "Going for the same book at the library" taken from @creativepromptsforwriting (Mona sent me a prompt list literally like 2 months ago thank you @whatthefishh you are too cute for this world.) ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY this is a peace offering before I pour my heart out into the most gut wrenching angst and coochie killing smut <3
-Clem
Synopsis: All you wanted was to have a quiet day browsing books in the library. Who knew you'd manage to find the cutest man to spend your day with right there in the history aisle?
Word count: 3541 (omg.)
Walking through the library, you gently ran your finger over the spines of the book, feeling worn out paper and leather on your fingertips. It was always relaxing, being surrounded by so many stories, real or not, lives and adventures. You skimmed through a history section, looking for a book that might be of interest, and your eyes landed on one just up ahead, with a pretty spine and a title written in gold. Your fingers jumped to it, but bumped with another hand outstretched to grab it.  “Oh sorry, love! Didn’t see you there,”  “Oh no it’s alright!” You grinned up to the cute man with the cute British accent. “You can have the book, I don’t mind,” “Oh no,” He shook his head.  “Really, you can take it,”  “No it’s fine, really, I can just order another from the system,” He grabbed the book off the shelf, handing it to you. “Love, please. I’ve already read it anyway. It’s all yours,” He smiled, a bright breathtaking smile that lit up his whole face.  You hesitated but took the book from his hand, adding it to the (very heavy) bag you carried. “Memorised and all?” He chuckled. “I wish,”  You grinned at him, and an awkward silence fell as you scanned the rest of the shelf. “Uh,” You cleared your throat. “Anyway. Thank you, a lot, for-” “The book,” He finished. “Yes! The book. Thank you,”  He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing.  “Alright well uh…I’ll, go, thank you, again,” You rushed to say before quickly dashing off, trying not to think about how pretty he was, or how soft his eyes looked, or his beautiful curls, his soft yet clear features…
No. 
You weren’t sure what the hell urged you to turn right back around and down the aisle again, but your feet carried you there anyway, and you found yourself standing right in front of the gorgeous stranger again. “Um. Hi.” You mumbled. Maybe he didn’t hear, maybe you could run be- “Hi! You’re back,” He grinned and you could feel the sunshine radiating off of him.  “Yeah. Um..I don’t know I just…yknow…You seem to know your books,” You gestured to the growing pile by his feet. “So I was just..wondering if you had any recommendations? I’m in a bit of a slump, so I wanted to try something new. I mean only if you’re cool with it, if I’m bothering you I’ll just go-”  He laughed, a quiet small chuckle that put a huge ass sappy smile on your face. It was contagious, his bubbly energy and cute laughs and smiles. “No it’s alright love, I’d be more than happy to give you a few suggestions, though it might just turn out to be a big ramble,” You shrugged. “Nothing beats a good book ramble,” “Wholeheartedly agree. Now,” He turned to the shelves, his soft eyes scanning the spines of the dozens of books, and he just started rambling- exactly like he said he would. On and on and on, grabbing a few books at a time and talking about them all at once, he looked over the moon to share all this knowledge with someone, you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you could barely keep up with him. You just stood there watching him, probably grinning like an idiot, adding every book he put down to the growing pile in your bag. Whether the book was actually interesting or not, you didn’t care. When a cute man excitedly tells you about his favourite books in an aisle in the library, you grab every damn one of those books and you take them home. 
By the time he finished going through at least a dozen books, he paused, biting his lower lip to hide a shy smile. “Sorry. Got carried away there,” 
Ah shit.
“No no! It’s okay, no apology needed at all. You- it’s cute. You’re cute. When…you do the ramble thing. Cute. Yeah.” You cleared your throat, feeling your cheeks heat up.  There was a beat of silence, before he blurted out, “Steven.” “Sorry?”  “Steven…my name. Is Steven. Grant. Steven Grant. It kind of just hit me that I didn’t introduce myself,”  “Oh. Oh! Oh right. Oh my god.” You fumbled with your bag, trying to get yourself back in control. “This is embarrassing. I’m so sorry. I’m Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you Steven,” He laughed again. “It’s very nice to meet you too,”  You nodded. How many times are you going to nod. Quit it.  “So…um,” you cleared your throat, wondering if it was too late to ask for a hole to open up and swallow you whole. “Yknow..there’s um…this cafe, right down the street, and it’s really nice and they’ve got pretty decent coffee and food. I was wondering if…you know, if you’re free anyway, and not too busy or if you have something better to do I totally get it-” “I’d very much like to go to the cafe down the street with you,” Steven interrupted, and you stared at him, jaw hanging open slightly as you took in his shy smile and the light rose of his cheeks.  “I mean, if that’s what you’re asking-” He rambled quickly to add. “Yes! Ah, uh, yes, that is what I’m asking,” You grinned widely, cheeks starting to hurt from how damn much you were smiling at this cute stranger in the history aisle of your local library.  “Great! Wonderful, amazing. I- uh…I’ll…go check out my books? Get settled while you do yours and…” “...we can meet by the front doors?” You finished for him. He nodded quickly, his hair bouncing with each bob of his head. You nodded too, fiddling with the strap of your bag. “Okay. Okay cool. I’ll…go do my thing. And I’ll see you soon?” “Yes, absolutely, 100% yeah,”  You chuckled, a few butterflies taking flight through your stomach with all his nervous blabbering.
He’s cute. Real cute, with the nicest warm eyes and a precious crooked smile, and the cutest mop of curls on his head that you desperately wanted to play with. Not to mention his adorable outfit..the cute earth brown pants and the soft sweater that definitely hugged his body in a comfy yet pleasing way. 
Screwed. Absolutely, royally screwed. 
After awkwardly staring (analysing) him for a solid minute as he grabbed the rest of his books, you turned and dashed to the check out desks, fumbling and mumbling about stupid cute library boys the entire way through the checkout process. 
*                                           *                                          *
As you both left the library, a light silence falling between you, he couldn’t help but take a few glances at you, his heart picking up pace, a giddy laugh building up in his throat- this was new. All of it was so new yet welcomed. He’d be damned if he let it go to waste, whether it be a chance to make a friend, or maybe a little more. 
By the time you had reached the shop, his shoulder ached from carrying his bag of books, and you looked ready to drop dead on your feet. 
“I can carry your bag if it’s getting you tired,” Steven suggested softly as you entered the cafe. You frowned, hugging your bag tightly to you. “What, no. It’s okay, I like carrying my bag. Makes me feel close to my books,” You pointed to a table by the window. “Here?” He laughed, then nodded. “Yeah this works,” He took a seat, lifting his bag off of him and placing down beside him. “What do you like to read anyway?” “Oooh,” You slid into the seat, you could feel the ache in your lower back start to build. Who even had back problems at this age. “I like a good fantasy novel, and I am guilty of reading way too much romance. I also like poetry. Not a very big person in non fiction though.” “Romance huh?” He raised an eyebrow, a playful smile on his lips. “Scandalous romance?” You laughed, shrugging. “What, a woman has her needs, and those needs happen to be pretty men with cute accents,”  “Ah right,” He nodded again, then paused. “Wait. I have an accent,” You chuckled, smiling widely. “Yes you do. A cute one too. And you’re cute. Pretty, dare I say,” His eyes widened, a blush creeping up his neck and his ears started turning red too as he looked away, averting his eyes and biting at his lower lip. Your heart did a little flip at how cute he looked when he was flustered.  “What kinda books do you like, Mr. Grant?”  “Hmm,” He flipped aimlessly through the menu, his eyes scanning the millions of different ways they make frappuccinos and espressos. He didn’t even drink coffee that much, he was more of a tea guy. “I like history, big fan of mythologies and stuff,”  You sat up, grinning widely. “I love mythology. I was a huge sucker for them in middle school. Still kinda am, honestly,” His heart did a little thing. “Really? What kind of mythology?” You shrugged. “I was really into the Greeks, they were pretty fun and it was a good time. I like the Romans a bit too, but they’re a little boring, yknow? The Norse are wack too, which makes it funny,” You grinned. “I was just a bit obsessed. I had an Egypt phase too for quite a bit,”  You could see the way his face lit up, how his eyes widened and a big smile started spreading across his face. “Egypt huh? That’s cool.” He nodded, deciding not to make a further comment lest it come off as too strong. You raised an eyebrow. “Cool? Oh come on, you totally had an Egypt phase,” “Did not!” “You so did. C’mon, tell me. I promise I won’t judge! I never could, I had attachments to those guys. You definitely know a thing or two,” He waved you off. “No..I mean, a little maybe. I’ve studied their mythologies and tales, aspects of culture and society, that’s sorta stuff, it’s not interesting really,” “Not interesting?” You scoffed. “Well I find them interesting. C’monnnn,” You nudged his leg under the table. “Who’s your favourite god?” He shook his head, a playful smile on his face. “I’m fond of Taweret. Hippo goddess, resides in the underworld and stuff. She’s nice,”  “Yeah? Know her personally?” “Oh yeah, obviously. We have chat over tea all the time,”  No way he was this funny. “Really? Wait, hang on,” You leaned in, “if she resides in the underworld, does that mean you’ve died before, Steven Grant?”
He liked it, he decided. The way you said his name, how it rolled off your tongue and out of your mouth so easily, and not the sarcastic way everyone else said it. Heaven, at least you remembered his name, not when half the staff at the old museum couldn’t even get Steven right.  He scrunched up his face, thinking deeply. “Hmm. Let’s see. I think I might have, yeah. A few times now actually,” There it was again, the laugh that filled the entire cafe, as your shoulders shook and you threw your head back in joy. “No way, you did not,” You finally said.  “I absolutely did! It’s not a good experience obviously, but yknow, an adventure,”  “So you’ve like- met Osiris and stuff?” He shrugged. “Maybe,” “Oh come on. Tell me! I’ve always liked him. Given, I always like every death god, so it’s no different,” “He’s alright. Very stiff though, no personality at all, he’s all business serious,” “Well duh, he’s a king,” Steven rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t mean he’s got to be so boring,”  You chuckled again, shaking your head in disbelief as you went back to the menu. “Any other gods you’ve met?” “Hmm.” He tapped his chin a few times, and brushed a curl of hair out of his eye. “I’ve met some night gods. They look like big ugly birds, with a big temper and zero compassion or kindness. Dress in old rags and stuff,”  “You’re lying, I swear you’re lying,” “I am not! It’s true. I see one quite often actually, he’s a pain in the ass, right psycho.”  “Yeah? He your best friend?” He snorted. “Absolutely not.”  You tsked. “Aw, that’s so sad,” “No it’s not. I told you, he’s not right in his mind,”  “Yeah but isn’t that all gods?” Steven sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Okay, you make an excellent point, but I’m telling you, this one is bloody psycho. Murderous and whatnot.” He smiled, a big goofy smile that showed his cute dimples.  You shook your head again, trying to fight back a stupid sappy grin. “You’re too funny,” “Too funny? Is that bad?” He frowned. “No! No, absolutely not. It’s nice, your jokes are actual..well, yknow, jokes. And it’s kind of nerdy.” “Oi!” He leaned in, pointing a finger at you with an air of amusement. “You just said nerdy was cute,” “It is!! It’s very cute!”  “Bloody right. ‘Cause if you came for sports jokes, I’m not your guy,” You laughed. “Nope, no sports jokes for me. I just like an extra side of nerdiness,”  He narrowed his eyes, fighting back a smile. “You are horrible,”  “Horribly cute, yeah, definitely,” He exploded with laughter, his face all happy smile lines and precious dimples. You smiled widely, your heart doing a little skip with how gorgeous he looks, so full of laughter. 
Thankfully though, before he caught you grinning like an idiot at him and trying to memorise his face, a waiter came to your table, and you managed to order your drinks without acting crazy or too dorky. 
*                                                         *                                                                *
“What about Bastet? You know her?” 
Okay so maybe you were still a little dorky. 
“The cat lady? I mean you see her everywhere don’t you? In all the nice cat ladies by your flat or in the market!” “Okay fine Mr. Poetic, I’m asking about the goddess,” 
He grinned, fiddling with the strap of his bag as you both made your way to a bus stop. “I haven’t met her, no. But I know of her,” 
“Right, of course,” You weren’t sure why you humoured this idea; the possibility of divinity walking amongst man. But the ease of pretending, of imagining with him, with Steven, was something you came to realise you enjoyed too much to give up.  “What about Zeus?” He frowned. “Wrong civilization,”  “Oh come on, so you’re telling me you can believe the idea of gods with bird heads from the times of pyramids, but you can’t humour me with the idea of wackoo’s living on top of a mountain?”  “I just don’t like them. Too chaotic,”  “That’s exactly why everyone likes them,”  “Okay fine, I just stay in my territory,” You shook your head, shrugging your bag back into place on your shoulder. “Okay, that’s fair, they probably don’t like each other anyway,”  “Nope, definitely don’t,” 
You both fell into a silence after, continuing your walk to the bus stop. “You don’t have to go all the way with me to the bus stop yknow-” You started but he just shook his head.  “I don’t mind, love. Really, it’s a nice day out for a walk,”  You nodded. “Okay.”
Silence fell again, and you couldn’t help but look up a little to look at him. Him with his pretty eyes and flushed cheeks. Him with his easy going smile on those nice lips. Him with the nice jawline and cheekbones that are just the right amount of sharp you just want to run your finger over it. 
By the time the both of you had made it to the bus station, you had made up your mind; You were going to ask him for his number. 
Only problem is…how do you ask a cute guy for his number?
You could feel the nerves start to set in as the minutes tick by, and more people pile around the bus stop. It was going to be here soon, and you’ll hop on, and probably never get his number and-
Okay calm down. You fiddled with your bag as the minutes passed, occasional small glances and nervous chuckles with Steven as he waited too, and it felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders just to ask for a series of stupid numerals.  When you glanced back up at Steven for what had to be the millionth time so far, you noticed in the far distance that the bus was heading this way. Steven turns the other way then too, noticing you staring and he sighed softly. “Ah, there’s your bus,”  “Yup,” He looked back at you, a soft smile on his lips. He picked at his nails, a feeling of anxiety bubbling inside of him. “So…” “So…” You continued for him, and you both laughed awkwardly.  “Can I-” “Can-” You stopped, chuckling awkwardly as Steven shook his head.  “Sorry love- didn’t mean to speak over you-” “No no it’s okay! My bad,” You reassured him. “Go ahead,”  “No really-” He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling. “You start,” “Steven-” You started to protest (why were you even doing that) but he set you with a firm look and you sighed. “Okay. I was…yknow…going to ask. If-” You trailed off. “Yknow…” “If…? Unfortunately love, I’m very bad at guessing games. You’ll have to specify,” You sighed, rubbing a hand down my face. You took a deep breath and right as the bus stopped at your station, you blurted quickly, “Can I have your number?!” It came out in one breath, a quick sentence and Steven’s browns furrowed. You panicked, thinking maybe you had read this wrong? What if he doesn’t want to give you his number? 
But then his face exploded in a wide smile, and his eyes lit up adorably and his cheeks filled with a soft blush. “Oh. My number!” He laughed, soft and clearly full of anxiety. “Yes- right yes, of course you can. Sorry it took a minute there-” He muttered, quickly digging through his bag and pulling out his phone. “Right then, quick quick before you miss your bus-” 
“It’s okay,” You mumbled quickly, steering him away from the growing bus line so you could plug in his number. You did it painfully slowly, double checking each number and going over the series at least 5 times. By the time you finished exaggerating and actually putting the number into your contacts, Steven was tapping his foot anxiously on the ground as he watched the last person board the bus.  “You have to hurry it’s going to close, love,” You looked up and glanced at the bus. “Oh crap-” You quickly fumbled to put your phone away and return his, but by the time you took a step towards the bus, it dinged and the door closed as it slowly started back up to drive away.  "Shit,” Steven tugged at his curls. “Oh god love, I’m really sorry- maybe if we run we could catch its next stop?” Didn’t people always say make the best out of a bad situation? The bus is gone, another won’t be coming for probably another half hour, and you were not running. 
But maybe…maybe this was a good thing? 
You shrugged, trying to sound as upset as you could possibly gather, but even to your own ears it sounded fake. “Oh no….the bus is gone. This is horrible. What do I do now?”  Steven started to say something, but then stopped, frowning a little, before his eyes widened and a smile grew across his face. “Hang on-” He stepped closer to you, his eyes glittered with humour. “You planned that, didn't you?” You gasped. “What? Me? Why would I ever want to miss my bus?”  “Hmm….” He tapped a finger to his chin, thinking loudly. He leaned down then his face barely inches away from your face. “Maybe because you wanted to spend more time with me?” He has no right being cute and nervous one second and then sexy  and all mischief the next.  Your eyes widened, you felt your skin heat and your cheeks flush pink with how close he was. His eyes looked even prettier up close, and his lips looked so kissable.  “Really?” You managed to breathe out. “You think I’m that captivated by you?” He shrugged. “Maybe.” He paused, biting his lower lip. 
Fuck. 
“Are you? Captivated by me?” He asked.  “Hmm. Let’s see…I think your nerdiness and awkward attitude and shy personality has definitely captivated me, Mr. Grant,”  His face explodes into a bright and beautiful smile. “Really? So if I asked to go on a walk right now, you’d say yes?” I hum, pretending to think it over. “I think…yes, I would absolutely say yes,” The look on his face made it seem as if he just experienced heaven. Your heart fluttered, and you knew then that you’d never ever get tired of seeing him this happy. “Brilliant. Great, alright then um..” He stood up straight again, looking around. “Let’s go?” 
You smiled, gesturing to the roads bustling with people. “Lead the way,” 
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Silver Lining 3
Warnings: non/dubcon, speech impediment, bullying and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
Characters: silverfox!Bucky Barnes
Summary: You have an unpleasant encounter with an older man.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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"So your sister will be coming by next week with the little ones," your mother declares as you stand at the sink, scrubbing away the remnants of roast beef and potato. "You'll get to play auntie for the day."
"Mhmm," you nod, "what about Justin?"
"Oh, your brother's down visiting with his fiance's family. He said he'd try to make if for Christmas Eve but you know how her family is."
You sniff and pretend to know. You really don't. It's all hearsay to you. You don't hear much from either siblings; they have lives, you just happen to be related.
"S-sounds great," you utter as you put another plate in the rack.
"Oh, honey, you should just use the dishwasher," she says.
"It's f-f-fine, this works," you insist.
"Well, what about you? What are you up to?" She leans on the counter.
"I..." you don't know what to say. You need a lie, anything to appease her. Your brother's engaged, your sister has the white picket fence and you have nothing, "oh, I h-have a job interview."
"You do?" She sounds thoroughly disbelieving.
"Uh, yeah, w-well," you stammer through, trying not to give away your deceit, "since n-no one wants to h-hire me in my f-field, I f-found something new."
"That's exciting," she chimes, "what is it?"
"Uh, I w-want to see i-if it turns out b-before I say," you give a tight-lipped smile, "don't want to d-disappoint you again."
"Sweetie, you're not a disappointment," she hums, "I'm always happy to see you trying."
You look down at the sink and shrug. Behind that comment is the inference that you weren't trying before. That you haven't been. The long nights with vivid nightmares don't exactly motivate you and you've been all but blacklisted as an executive assistant. Even admin roles aren't responding. Even if you do get a bite, the job market is drawn out and tedious.
"Thanks, mom."
"Just... try not to mope around the kids," she chides, "it's Christmas."
You flutter your lashes, "sure, mom."
That's what you are to everyone; weak, pathetic, useless. No, don't do that. You'll make another appointment with Lisa, she always knows what to do.
☕️
Well, this is it. A last resort. One of those freelancing websites that pays pennies. It's better than nothing and will keep you from having too big a gap on your resume. You could easily do the writing gigs, easy money for transcription. You apply to a few of those and scroll on.
You sit up as you see a particular posting that interest you. Oddly enough, the pay isn't half bad. It's also labeled as 'may lead to ongoing work'. Well, well, well, now that's something.
You click into the posting for 'Podcast Script Writer' and review the details. A sample is required for application and lucky enough, you have lots of those hanging around. If it wasn't for your stammer, you'd have an episode done by now. You deleted enough recordings to the point of giving up. Well, this is a solution. You can get your work out there without having to embarrass yourself.
You go through the application, putting in your info and editing a draft before attaching it to the application. You just hope it's thorough enough. You never really let anyone else see and hitting submit makes your stomach flip. With the final click, you close your laptop and quickly get up. Alright, you're not going to dwell on it. If you hear anything, you'll worry then.
You try to read but can't focus. It just makes you think of the posting and your application. Oh jeez, imagine you're rejected but worse, they tell you you've done everything wrong.
Appointment! You can't forget that. You login to the app and put in a request for a Zoom appointment that week. Alright, you're getting things done, you can't say you've done nothing.
You put a video on your phone and lean it on the pop out grip, propping it up on your mattress to watch the compilation of sitcom moments cut together on Youtube. Your mind wanders and your eyes begin to sag as the day shrouds you in fatigue. You slip into a shallow doze as the glare of the screen flickers over you.
The distant clack of keyboards and clicking of mouses needles behind your ears. It's as if you're trapped in a bubble of silence, all colours and noised dampened by the unseen wall. You shudder as you hear his voice, the only thing that's clear. Your name crawls up behind the shell of your ear with his breath as his hands settle on your hips. Your body aches as every muscles tightens and your bones lock in place. Please, no, not again...
"Sir..." you try to speak but nothing comes out. He's always tugging your skirt up, his hand is around your throat. You close your eyes as tears stain your cheeks.
You wake with a start, your phone black as the battery's drained from neglect. You sit up and pant, looking around your dark bedroom, the moonlight limning shadows sinisterly. You gulp and fall back, watching the ceiling as the tears rise in reality and sting your eyes.
If you'd just said no. A simple word. Even you can manage that.
You lay for a while until your restlessness boils over. You get up and plug in your phone. The screen lights up as you rub your eye socket and yawn. There's an email notification in the taskbar. Probably more ads for things you can't afford.
You pull down the menu but find ‘Application Update’ emblazoned across the notification. Oh wow, that was fast. You keep yourself from tapping on the email.
You don't know if you can handle another rejection. You'd rather languish in the uncertainty. You've been doing so for so long, it almost feels safe.
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bemysinphony · 1 year
Text
Are you feeling this too?
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pairing: txt taehyun x f!reader
genre: os, au, fluff, smut
summary: when your attraction to him becomes unbearable and you fail to hide it, he has a surprise in store for you...
warnings under the cut!
warnings: beomgyu makes an appearance (but he's not part of the smut), friends-to-lovers, irony, tae is a bit of a know-it-all, they both have a thing for hands (quirofilia), they are veeeeery much down bad for eachother, cursing, mutual masturbation, handjob, thigh-riding, fingering, praising.
word count: 3,3k
notes: in case you haven't already noticed, I'm a big fan of friends-to-lovers 😋 this has been in my drafts for wayyy too long, I can't believe it's finally seeing the light! I kept editing it so many times because I was never satisfied enough (damn perfectionism), so I hope the final result is decent 😭 enjoy <;3
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You two knew eachother for some years now and were the most comfortable with one another. You shared almost anything with no worries or embarrassment, as well as feeling a special kind of excitement everytime you had something you needed to talk about and knew the other was going to be there to listen without judgement.
Taehyun was a bit of a know-it-all sometimes and he loved to use that side of his personality especially to tease you, but that didn't stop him from validating your thoughts and feelings, however unrational they might be. And he found relief in you, who helped him to not think too rationally like he did most of the time. You balanced each other quite well, that's why you worked like a match made in heaven.
Same could have been said about your clingyness: you both needed your own space and individuality, but, when you felt like it, you were ready to cuddle the other until satisfied.
Neither of you could have predicted that this level of comfort would have extended even to sleeping together in the same bed though.
Lately, whenever you two hang out at night with your shared group of friends and you were too tired or drunk to go back to your apartment, as he was to accompany you, he started offering you to stay at his place, which was closer to the centre of the city. Not giving it much thought, you simply turned collapsing onto his mattress into an habit.
Last night was one of those nights: you checked out a new bar with your friends, the dishes were delicious, as well as the drinks, reason why it was easy to drink a bit more than usual.
"Looks like you'll come with me tonight as well" Taehyun stated, holding your waist to help you stand up. It was so unfair that he held his liquor so well and better than you.
As usual, Beomgyu teased you both about the situation: "At this point, I'm so sure they've been doing a lot more than just sleeping... when are you guys going to confess the truth to us, uh?"
"Shut up, Gyu" you mumbled annoyed.
"Let's go, he's just envious" Tae retorted, nodding to the group to greet them.
"I'm not envious! I'm not!" Beomgyu's shouted at your back, accompanied by the laughs of the others.
The last thing you remembered was slipping into the warm covers of Taehyun's bed, all clean up and ready to collapse and sleep for hours.
"Are you comfortable?" he made sure, pushing a strand of hair out of your face.
You groaned in affirmation, deeply inhaling his perfume that permeated the sheets, something that never failed to relax you.
"Goodnight then" he wished you.
"You too Tae" you grumbled before falling asleep, too tired to give any importance to the feeling of being stared at.
When you open your eyes on the half light of the bedroom the morning after, you rise your head to look at his soft sleeping face, following his features as if you were tracing them with your fingers. Honestly, it was also very much unfair how pretty he was and that you only got to look at him like that when he wasn't aware of it. You sigh softly and your gaze lands on his slightly parted lips.
The faint memory of the dream you had falls upon you all at once, making your cheeks flush. Did you really dreamed about fucking him? Again? And this time while you were sleeping in his bed, with him in it ? This was getting out of hand. How were you supposed to keep a straight face while looking at him now?
At first you kept telling yourself that having these type of thoughts about him was just caused by the curiosity that your friends' comments sparkled... but when you started to linger your gaze on him, feeling attracted to his body and the way he moved, until you fantasized of kissing and touching him, you understood that, no, it definitely wasn't just that at all.
You were terrified by the idea of ruining your precious friendship, of losing your best friend, just because of lust. Just the thought itself felt like losing oxygen. And yet you couldn't help your feelings that only kept on growing. What a cliché.
You try to get up without waking him up, moving slowly outside the covers, but the mattress betrays you, squeaking as you shift your weight. He stretches and blinks to adjust to the light, serene and unaware, while you freeze on the spot, still sitting on the mattress, blushing even more if possible.
When he looks at you he immediately notices: "Hey, are you okay? Do you have a fever?" He gets up quickly, worried. His raspy morning voice definitely wasn't of help.
"N-no, no, i'm fine" you manage to say.
To make sure he reaches out to touch your forehead anyway, causing a rush of chills running down your back. "Okay, you don't" he sights in relief.
"That's what I told you!"
"Why are you blushing this hard then?"
"It's nothing, it's just hot, I need a shower..." you want to get up and find refuge in the bathroom, but you can’t bring yourself to move. You feel your panties getting wet and instinctively push your legs closer together.
Shit.
He glances down at your sudden movement, understanding what was going on: "Oh, I see... you're horny" he smiles amused, "so, your plan was to get off in my shower?"
"I was just gonna take a cold shower!" Your heartbeat quickes at the thought of him imagining you touching yourself. You wonder if he has ever done it, but you immediately chase the thought away.
"Yeah, sure..." he mocks you, a playful smirk on his lips. "I am too right now, so... nothing to be embarrassed about"
"Wait- right now? Are you...?"
"Uhm, yeah, I'm hard right now" he frowns, confused by your surprise, "I was going to, you know, take care of it... while you're in the shower."
"W-well, now we can't do that."
"Why is that?"
Your eyes widened. Was he for real? Was he trying to act bold, pushing your buttons to see how you'd react?
"Do you seriously want to get off at the same time, in different rooms, while being aware of it?" You point out the obvious.
"Would you rather get off here? Together ?"
Was he joking or was he provoking you? And if the latter was true, why? Was he attracted to you as well? And if so, was he trying to find out how you felt about it? No, that couldn't be... those were just your delusional fantasies... right? You look away and blush even more if possible.
He registers your reaction and this time he fully blushes as well, thinking it's an affermative answer to his question: "Wait- seriously? Would you like that?"
This wasn't what you meant, but it wasn't wrong either: you do want that, him, with every fiber of your body.
You don't understand how he feels about it, what's behind his embarrassment and surprise, so maybe this is the time to address the elephant in the room once and for all and find out. You feel the panic growing quickly inside your chest as you say, "What if... what if I did?"
He looks you dead in the eyes and swallows.
Surely he's searching for the right words to reject you, to tell you that he wouldn't, that you are just a friend for him and that the way he's been staring at you is because of the affection he-
"I'd like that too" he admits. The cool and chill facade is crumbling before your eyes, piece by piece. "I... I fantasised about it. About you."
You can't believe what your ears have just heard. Is this happening for real or it's just a very vivid dream?
"You did?"
"Yeah... of course" he shakes his head, "I mean, I don't know, these days I feel very attracted to you so it just came naturally to imagine how it would feel... to do it with you" he looks down, the fiery red tips of his ears sticking out. Now that he's letting his vulnerability take over he's so cute. It's a pity that you don't get to see this side of him as often as you'd want to. You want to kiss him so bad.
"Has this happened to you?" He finally asks.
"Yeah..." you bite your lip out of anxiety "I am very attracted to you Tae... I've been for a while now and... recently it's been difficult to not mind it at all. Like, very difficult..."
"Fuck..." he lets out inadvertently.
"Yeah, exactly" you let out a nervous giggle and his eyes widens.
"Should we...?"
"Would you like that?"
"Damn if I'd like that. You? Would you?"
"Definitely, yes" you confirm.
Still a little uncertain and awkwardly, you both move closer to eachother, looking forward to the touch you've been craving all this time.
Your first kiss begins sweet and tender: your fingers run through his soft hair that you have always loved very much, while he's smiling on your lips and caressing your cheek.
When you give his tongue access to your mouth things get heated. He instinctively moves his hands to your waist to bring you closer, his fingers starts lingering over the bare skin of your back, just above the elastic of the sweatpants. When you release a soft moan and tug his hair, that drives him completely nuts: he's been dying to know what kind of sounds you make.
"Fuck, that was pretty. Do it again please."
"I need you closer... can I?" He nods eagerly while getting rid of the covers, you waste no time and sit on his lap. Feeling his hardening pushing against your core despite the fabric is heavenly, the string of moans escaping your lips prove it.
"You're music for the ears... whatever I've listened to until now can't even compare"
Your heart beats even faster at the compliment, threatening to burst out of your ribcage. How are you going to survive this? You're just getting started and you're both a mess already.
Your fingers run to the hem of his shirt, removing it to reveal his beautiful toned body for you to explore like you've been craving to do. You trace the muscles of his shoulders and arms he's so proud of have been enhancing, and leave sloppy kisses all over his chest.
"Are we really doing this?" His breathing is hard and irregular.
"Do you want to stop? Cause we can, anytime" you raise up to look into his eyes in search of any proof of doubt.
"No, I just can't believe it's happening" His soft smile contrasts with his lust-filled gaze. "Do you?"
"Not at all."
You start moving your hips slowly against his, making him let out a groan of pleasure. When you fasten your movements he throws his head back. "God, y/n..."
"Tell me what you imagined me doing to you"
"No, but-"
"What? Did I do something wrong?" You stop in your tracks.
"No, fuck no, this is great" he reassures you, "it's just that- I should take care of you first, you're the one that-"
"But you are going to, silly. Now answer my question."
"I..." he looks down where your bodies are closer, then reaches for your hand and kisses each knuckle tenderly. You hold your breath as butterflies invade your stomach. "I thought about your pretty hands around me"
You move to stroke the bulge covered by his underwear a couple times and watch him struggle to hold back his own moans, before getting rid of it. You stop for a moment to take in what your eyes are seeing: he has a nice shape and length, you can't wait to discover how he feels.
Meanwhile, he begins to worry about you being disappointed or regretting your decision: "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I just never saw you like this and wanted to take a proper look at you... you're pretty, you know?"
Surprised and pleased, he lets out an "oh" that turns into a loud moan when you start palming him.
"Does it feel good?" Your chest is filling with pride.
He's already humming approvingly and instinctively bucks his hips into your hand. "You're so good..."
"As good as you imagined?" You tease him.
"Not even close... so much better"
You really need some contact as well and you squirm over him.
"Use my thigh" he proposes, gripping your hips. Loving the idea, you shift to have his left thigh between your legs and start rubbing your pelvis. His muscles flexe beneath you and the fabric creates an amazing friction.
You stroke his skin faster, circling the tip with your thumb, resulting in him bringing an hand over his face: "Shit, I'm close already..." he mumbles.
"It's okay, come for me" your voice sweet like honey, "I want to see your lovely face though..." and you gently take his hand away, locking eyes with him just in time before thick, white ropes start covering his stomach. His face contorts in pleasure and only groans leave his lips, that are eager and desperate when they take yours in a rough kiss.
"That was... way too good" he sighs, "I'm sorry I didn't last long..."
"Don't say that", you reach for the tissue box on his nightstand, "you were so excited of having my hands all over you, it was so hot." You lick your lips, passing him the tissues to clean himself up.
"It's your turn now" he moves closer to your ear and starts leaving a trail of pecks down your jaw. "What did you imagine?"
"I- uhm... well... I'm actually in this state because I- I did have a wet dream tonight..." You look away, your cheeks are burning again.
"Oh, you did?" You recognise from his tone that a smug smile is certainly tracing his lips, "Was I involved?"
You nod, finally revealing where this all thing started. "You were playing with my boobs..."
"Was I?" He starts rubbing your nipples through the thin fabric of the shirt, making you whimper.
"God, I love the sounds you make too much." He frees you from it and admires your body like you did before with him. "You... your shapes..." he starts kissing and massaging your breasts, "...are so gorgeous..."
You look at him working your skin and intertwine your fingers with his locks once again, pulling a little everytime he licks the right place the right way.
"And then you went down..." you continue to guide him.
"Of course" he starts kissing your stomach, slowly descending.
It was taking too long and you couldn't take it anymore. "I seriously need you between my legs. Right now." You rush him.
"How exactly do you need me?" He looks up at you and that's so hot of him, you swear you could pass out.
"Your fingers..."
"Seems like we both have a thing for hands, uh?" He lets out a giggle detaching his lips from your skin. He guides you to lay down before removing your thin sweatpants. The darkened spot in your panties is so wide now, his fingers linger over the damp cotton.
"Stop teasing..." you complain.
"You're right, you had to wait this long to take care of me..." he finally gets rid of the only piece of clothing left and takes a look at you, mesmerised. His fingers runs through your folds, his digits circle your opening. "How are you so pretty?"
The first finger enters you easily, shortly followed by the second one. You gasp for air when he curls them, the sensation of finally having him inside of you burning in your chest, waves of pleasure crossing your body. As soon as he starts pounding, you buck your hips to get him as deep as possible.
"Look at you... this is so much better than anything I could ever imagine." Feeling how warm and tight you were around him was simply delicious.
"Faster, please..." you ask gripping the sheets and he immediately begins to thrust with more vigour, his other hand on your knee to keep your legs open.
You start clenching around him and feel your clit pumping looking for some attention as well, thus you reach for it, rubbing your digits in a circular motion.
"God, you're so hot like this" he grunts while your juices drip into his palm, "I can't believe I'm watching you touching yourself for real."
You slightly lean forward to get a better view of his veiny hand and your mouth goes agape. You've always been enamored with his hands, seizing the opportunity everytime you two felt cuddly to caress and play with them, but this... this was a whole another level.
"Tae, fuck, I'm almost there, keep going"
"Whenever you want baby, let yourself go" he breathes out, making a last effort to keep his pace steady.
You feel your orgasm exploding in your chest and spreading all over your body, leaving behind a prolonged moan to delight him.
He's out of breath, his fingers slowly slip out of you and he waits for you to look at him again.
You're panting but you get up and smile at him: "Okay, now explain how are you so great? You definitely rank number one for fingering."
"Thanks for confirming the suspicions I had about my abilities." He says gaining a roll of eyes from you.
His digits still shine with your juices so you lean close enough to lick them clean, surprising him.
"I'm going to grow a boner again at this rate"
"I wouldn't mind it" you run your fingers on his chest and bring him closer to you.
He tucks some tufts of hair behind your ears and scans your face, focusing on every little detail. In this moment you are both asking yourself the same question: is it just lust or there's something else you're both feeling for eachother?
When you indulged in imagining the two of you confessing, you definitely didn't picture this situation as one of the possible scenarios. Yet, here you are. "What do we do now?" you break the silence.
"I think the most logical thing to do is to not panic and see where this takes us."
"That's such a 'you' response" you wrinkle your nose, and the word 'cute' invades his mind.
"Am I wrong though?"
"Ah, you're so annoying" you snort, not wanting to give him the pleasure of agreeing with him, and lay down.
"I know you know I am" he lays on top of you, crossing his arms over your stomach and resting his chin there. "What do you suggest?"
"We've been friends for years now, right?" you start playing with his hair, "many of our friends have been teasing us about how similar to a couple we look, considering how comfortable we are with eachother..."
"The affection was already there"
"Exactly" you nod, "and now attraction joined..."
"In conclusion, you think we are in love already, even if we don't think so yet"
You're taken aback by his response, especially because of the use of the words "in love", but yes, that was what you were aiming for. "Maybe? We should find out."
He giggles, "you just explained what I meant earlier."
"God, I hate you" You let out frustrated, covering your face with your hands to hide the big smile that's actually painting it.
"No, you don't" he gets closer and removes them.
"I truly don't" you admit, moving your eyes to his lips and viceversa.
"Good, because me neither." He's still holding your hands when he kisses you slowly and softly, in a way too romantic manner for you to still be "just friends".
"When he will find out, Beomgyu is never going to let this down."
"Shhh don't make me think about it yet!" You frown, before joining his laugh.
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