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penwieldingdreamer · 4 years

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The Devil’s Daughter

You guys are amazing. Thank you so much for all the feedback you have given me on the last chapter. It means the world that you like it. Taglist is still open, so if you want to be on, let me know. Now on with Part 3. Happy reading.

Warnings: None

Words: 1483

Part 1 Part 2

John was sat inside Midnite's office, trying to make sense of the dream he had three days ago.

“There was a woman, you said.” the shaman pointed out, leaning back on his desk as he watched the demon hunter pacing along the floor. “Do you know who she was?”

“No!” he growled, raking his hand through his dark hair, turning to the dark skinned business man. “Satan was there, so was Mammon. He talked about his favorite, his creation. That she was the devil's daughter, but I haven't found anything on her as of yet.”

The corner of his lips moved up as Midnite saw the detective's had twitch, fighting off the urge to grab the pack of cigarettes laying on the table in the corner of his office. “Maybe you haven't read the right book yet, John. The bible can't help you here.”

“I tried the Satanic bible, too, Midnite, there wasn't anything on the Devil having another child, let alone a daughter.” Johnathan rolled his eyes, pulling out the second package of gum from his pants pocket. Having stopped his smoking habit was making him agitated, but he didn't want to end up back in Satan's arms again. Once was enough to last him a life time.

Chuckling, the shaman walked over to his acquaintance, clapping him on the shoulder and pulled him to the back door of his office. “I wasn't talking about that Bible either. There is another book, one that only a few know about. You could say a memoir of sorts.”

“Written by who, the devil himself, I presume.” Constantine scoffed, harshly chewing the gum to get the idea of the cigarettes back in the office out of his head.

A boisterous laugh left Midnite's mouth walking through the hallway scattered with holy artifacts of every religion known to man. “Of course, he is a bit dramatic but otherwise you get to know the story behind Mammon and his sister.” The shaman had a glint in his eyes, explaining everything he needed to know. “Y/N is his master torturer, she was created after Mammon, but yet was the devil's favorite. She was never the rebel, always followed his rules.”

“Old Lu said something about my soul, that she was keeping him from taking my soul.” Constantine added, scratching along his jaw as he tried to recall the dream again. His friend brought the book to a small table in front of the book shelf.

It looked like a regular copy of any bestseller you found in a book shop, an old illustration depicting Satan with two demons next to him. John could recognize Mammon, standing on the left side of his father. But to his right, she was a demon yes and yet the woman looked nothing like those he usually sent back to hell.

Even though her eyes looked fierce there was a kindness reflecting in them, her wings instead of the ones her brother had were feathered and black, shielding her armor clad body. The longer he looked at the picture, the more he thought she was moving, the corners of her lips turning up into a smile instead of the scowl she had been wearing before. Closing his eyes tightly, the exorcist shook his head, trying to get rid of the image. 'It's all just in your head, Johnny boy.' he told himself turning back to Midnite.

“Here it is.” the shaman told him triumphant when he found the passage describing the devil's daughter. “Y/N had been created from the seed of a pomegranate, a symbol often used to tell the story of Hades and Persephone in Greek mythology. The devil, too, was once in love but the woman died and her soul returned to heaven and yet a part of her remained. His master torturer was cruel, harsh and mostly unloving, but sometimes the part of his lost love shows itself, giving her kindness and compassion.”

Scoffing, Constantine sat down on one of the chairs the dark skinned man had acquired from a restorer, dating back to the Middle Ages. “I don't believe that she has only one streak of goodness in her. She is the devil's daughter, there is nothing good anywhere regarding that family. He wants my soul and his son wanted to rule the world with the help of Gabriel.”

“Don't be to hasty in your judgment, Constantine. You have been forgiven, too, and granted the grace of god. Why should someone like her not be able to change.” Midnite admonished, closing the book with a hard clap and fixing the warlock with a stern look. “You should try to get some more sleep and think of what I just told you. Faith is working in many ways, not just in good or bad ones.”

The shaman left John sitting there, knowing he needed to think about what was going on. Y/N might be in hell, but from what he knew there was hope that she would prevent the next apocalypse, fighting on their side instead of against them.

»¤«

Rain was pouring, as if the heavens had started to weep. The ground around you was splattered with dark matter, a mixture of blood, dirt and oil, something you remembered from Hell. Satan prided himself for his good taste, yet you only felt disgust. You didn't know why but it felt so wrong now.

Part of you had changed, a part of you that you couldn't describe. You were human now, was that what made you aware of so many things that were different, sometimes even wrong?

Mammon couldn't understand what theses feelings meant. He only knew hatred and the pain he was inflicting on other's. Only once before in your long life had you truly felt happiness and love. William Shakespeare had been your lover then, when you roamed earth and came upon the writer.

He was stuck on one of his plays, not sure what to write about. With A Midsummer Night's Dream, Romeo and Juliet and Much Ado About Nothing already being such a success in the 16th century, William was unsure what his next play should be about. You had only just come to London, wanting to see the world your father hated with a passion. Everything that had gone wrong was blamed on the devil and during the 15th century mostly women had been called witches, accused of aiding Satan and doing his bidding. Having been his right hand you knew that your father often manipulated man, but he was only partly the cause of man's failure. Humankind was too easy to sway, to mold into the person you wanted them to be.

So you were there, at the Globe watching the people bustling with excitement for the long awaited performance written by Shakespeare. When you saw him after the play was done, standing behind the curtains so none knew who he really was, you felt a connection with him. Before you could reach him, William was gone until you finally found him in his home. His frustration was lingering around him like a foul smell, making it hard for you to breath.

When you had entered his house, Philip Henslow had been there, too, believing you to be another one of his female admirer ready to throw you out. But when you started to speak, the poet moved swiftly, engulfing you in a tight hug. From that day forth you had helped him, writing Hamlet and from that day on you weren't just friends anymore.

Until, one day Balthazar had come and started another riot, pulling you away from the only man that meant more to you than even your life in hell. Heartbroken and angry you closed yourself off, never to show mercy again.

Never to love again.

To never let the shining part of your mother come forth and only be what the devil wanted you to be. His dark servant, created in his image.

Shivering from the cold, you tried to wrap your wings around your naked body, hoping to warm what had been left bare in the fall. But no matter how hard you willed them to comply, there was now reaction. The first time you had fallen to earth was different, it was your own choice to leave, yet now you had been pushed away. You were human now, not able to relay on your power. The wings had been your only shield. Softly your hand moved to your back, your fingers feeling around your shoulders, only to find a gaping wound where your feathers had been. Mammon had cut them off in his rage, the pain you felt unbearable and the wish to die, to be spared from this fate only a whisper on your lips.

Was this the price you were paying for your betrayal against him?

Your own father?

Part 4

Taglist

@fanficsrusz @ladyreapermc @meetmeinthematinee @toomanystoriessolittletime @a-really-bi-girl @pinkzsugar @ficsnroses

#john constantine x reader #john constantine imagine #john constantine fanfiction #john constantine #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves #constantine

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svmmerdays · 4 years

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( 09 / muse 25 / cis female & she/her ) contrary to what the campers might tell you, that’s not macarena garcia. that’s theodora ‘theo’ montoya! this is their 2nd year working here and they’re a counselor. they’re 20, and i just found out during ice breakers they’re a scorpio. at first they might seem pretty manipulative, but they’re actually really ambitious. when they have down time, you can usually catch them tanning by the lake. try to get to know them for yourself this summer! ( pepper / she/her / 24 / est )

ABOUT THE MUN what is that? that freaky thing? yes that’s right it’s a naked mole rat

it’s me, pepper, with a second muse despite the fact that i probably don’t really need a second muse. but i’ve been making bad decisions since 1996 babey, i see no reason to stop now!

BIO. she’s a maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want all of her love.

Theodora Juana Montoya was brought into the world and immediately wrapped in rich silk. Honestly. The first thing in her life to touch her skin was more expensive than anything most people touch in their lifetime and that set the tone for the rest of Theo’s life like nothing else could.

Theo’s father, Arturo ‘Art’ Montoya, was the CEO of a manufacturing company and her mother, Silvia, was beautiful. Really. That was her entire occupation. Before she married her father Theo heard that her mother used to be more. She was a model in Mexico, an amateur actress too. But growing up all Theo knew her mother to do was stand there, or occasionally sit there, and look pretty. And as a child Theo couldn’t think of a greater job in the world.

Until it became suddenly and abundantly clear that pretty wasn’t enough. Because of course other women could be pretty too. While Theo’s mother was particularly good at it, she didn’t have the market cornered. Theo’s nanny’s brand of pretty was not only enough to get Papa Mo into bed with her, but enough to get him to leave his wife and daughter too. Theo remembers the day he left with particular clarity. Half because it was her sixth birthday and half because that was the first time Theo had ever seen her mother look ugly. Because Silvia Montoya’s rage was ugly and that ugliness showed as she chased Arturo out of their house for good.

Theo’s father didn’t want her. Theo, that is, not her mother (although, frankly, he didn’t seem to want her either). He didn’t say it in so many words but there was no custody battle. Her mother got her without the slightest bit of fight and half of her father’s money to boot. Silvia still wanted Art’s head on a spike but the money eased her pain. It soothed her. And when she found Theo, crying about feeling unwanted and unloved, she had the money lick her wounds too. That day Theo got a solid gold necklace with her name on it, a pony, and tickets to see Jesse McCartney. That day Theo learned to wipe her tears on hundred dollar bills.

Her mother taught her other lessons as she grew up. First that you really could make money off of just being pretty. It was eye opening for Theo to see her mother use her looks to seduce men into marrying her. Successful men. Rich men. Men who should really know better, but easily fell to the charms of a pretty face. Silvia would usually get these men to wed her, stick around just for long enough to avoid questions, and then leave with half of their fortune. It was a subtle con but it was one that worked more than once, and through it all Silvia made sure her daughter knew everything she had come to learn, so that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes she did.

So Theo learnt from the best. Not the best mother by any means (her mother was cold, irate, and critical on her best days, and almost cruel on her worst) but the best black widow in the country for sure. She saw her mother singlehandedly ruin these men in both heart and bank account, and she participated. She made them fall in love with her, not in the same way her mother did of course, but as a daughter. Always daddy’s little girl for whichever daddy of the week it was. Always starry eyed. Always in awe. The perfect little girl who could ask daddy for a grand and get double that because she could do no wrong. She could never do anything wrong, even as behind closed doors she used that money for certainly less than right things. Drugs, gambling, partying, drinking, Theo dabbled in it all probably way too early. But who needed to know? Certainly not daddy.

The Montoya women lived well for a while (well, one Montoya woman and whatever surname her mother had taken from her husband of the year). They had more money than they knew what to do with, all without either of them having to work a day for it. And they were greedy to boot. Theo expected the two of them to live this way for the rest of their lives. And maybe they would have if Silvia didn’t slip up.

Against all odds, Theo’s mother fell in love. And she married that man, for love. It was made all the more ridiculous by the fact that the man was none other than Theo’s father. After all he had done. After all they had been through.

Theo was fifteen when her parents got remarried. Theo got nothing out of the arrangement but a maid of honour dress she promptly burned, twin half siblings she actively despised, and her biological father back, she supposed. She hated it. She hated her father, and at that point she felt lied to by her mother, the one person she had been able to trust. Their household quickly became a warzone. Theo vs her parents. Theo rebelled against them whether that be through subtle rich bitch antics (getting a boy she liked to crash her daddy’s car, making a scene at an important event, trashing the house with a massive party, ‘losing’ her siblings in increasingly outlandish ways, etc) or straight out hostility. It did nothing but make Theo feel better honestly, but Theo selfishly thought that was more than enough. Until they decided to send her to boarding school, like that was supposed to fix absolutely anything. It didn’t. It just angered her more than anything.

But that was Theo’s life for a while. Going to boarding school during the school year, seeing her parents briefly during the Christmas break, and to top it all off, the most humiliating of all being shipped to Dagwood in the summers. Theo first set foot on Dagwood soil at fourteen because her parents thought that the experience would humble her or build character or god knows what else. While her boarding school friends were vacationing in Paris or Greece or Hawaii, Theo was stuck swatting mosquitoes by a fresh water lake in the middle of nowhere surrounded by children too dumb to wipe their own noses. Initially Theo despised the whole thing and made that no secret to the campers around her. Honestly, she was really and truly a brat for the first month of that summer. But eventually Theo... got lonely. She’d die before admitting it, but it’s the truth. After all, being a bitch to everybody didn’t tend to make you any genuine friends. Minions maybe, but friends? Not so much. And considering she was being forced to endure Dagwood at least the rest of the summer, she decided to try a different tactic. So frankly, some people probably remember Theo positively from camp and some people probably remember her really negatively depending on whether or not she decided to stop being a bitch to them specifically sdkjsdkj however for the following summers Theo really did come to almost enjoy coming to Dagwood because of the friends she made there, so yes that is a big wc gimme that squad pls and thanks. Definitely caused havoc, might have snuck some alcohol into their cabin, definitely were just... true pains in the asses for the counselors and heads alike, we love to see it. Anyways, moving on dkjsdjk

When Theo actually was home with her parents she was force to watch the woman her mother was waste away into something lovestruck and meek and anxious. Silvia was terrified that Art would cheat again, that if she didn’t keep him 100% happy he would leave her. She drank to cope. Popped more than a few pills too. And that’s how Theo learned that one of her earliest memories was a misunderstanding. That it wasn’t rage on Silvia’s face but desperation. She didn’t chase Arturo out, he left. The new perspective was eye opening. Her mother wasn’t who she thought she was, or maybe she was, but love changed her. The rose coloured glasses she used to fool men into loving her were over her own eyes now, and they had made her weak.

And then of course her father cheated. Again. Theo caught him in the act herself and she wasn’t the slightest bit surprised. He begged her not to tell her mother, to keep it between them. Theo countered his pleading with a saccharine sweet request for a new car. And later a new wardrobe. A yacht? A trip to Paris with her friends? Oh daddy, would you look at this cute little plane, I have to have it! Please?

And just like that all was right with the world then. Theo had the upper hand. She had a father, her real one, wrapped around her little finger. Her mother was still a disappointment but she was learning to cope with that. It was all looking up. Until the day before Theo’s eighteenth birthday. Because apparently, she’s cursed.

The day before Theo’s birthday her father was very quietly arrested, and if you’re wondering, yes it did put a damper on her birthday party the following day. It should be mentioned that Arturo Montoya was the CEO of a weapons manufacturing company, and according to the government he had been selling said weapons at a considerable discount to the wrong people. Now honestly, Theo wouldn’t have minded her father going to jail. Yes, it was embarrassing but the government was keeping things very discreet as they underwent their investigation, and her father would be going to a comfy white collar jail to boot. No one would even know that Art Montoya was behind bars.

But then they took her mother with him as an accomplice. And while Theo’s heart might not be very big or warm, she does have some loyalty.

And well, shortly after they seized their bank accounts, and that was the last straw. Because while Theo could maybe perhaps deal with being orphaned, being poor??? Was unthinkable.

This was all just before Theo went to university and she has told almost nobody about the incident. Theo trusts very few people honestly, call it her mother’s influence. No one knows that her parents are in jail and no one knows that she is technically not rich anymore because Theo has been keeping up appearances really, really well. She’s just as snobby as before. Just as materialistic as before. Just as willing to throw money around as before, even if she doesn’t technically have it.

Well, didn’t technically have it. Upon becoming bankrupt and (semi) orphaned Theo she called up some of her old stepfathers. Even though most of them (⅔) were still foolishly heartbroken over her mother, they all still loved Theo. They funded her without a second thought, giving her more than enough to get herself on her feet. But it couldn’t last forever. After all, she wasn’t even their step daughter anymore. But it’s due to their help and the scholarship that Theo was offered for her academic performance (that she honestly never thought that she’d actually need) that Theo can go to university at all.

Well, that and her side hustle, an entrepreneurial opportunity that came to Theo at a time when her bank account was running particularly low and her professor made a pass at her like a sign from god. Or maybe Zeus, that perv. Anyways, the point is everything suddenly clicked into place.

Skeevy, lonely, old, rich, married men. That was her in. That was her salvation. She’d get them to cheat, or even just come close to it. Take a few pictures maybe. Save a few text messages. Record a few phone calls. And finally blackmail them and milk them for all they’re worth. Cut and dry, a piece of cake. A bit of effort and Theo gets everything she wants as always. And no one has to know. Order will be restored. She’ll be on top.

Theo has been doing this for about two years and she’s been pretty successful. It helps her pay her bills and fuels her shopping habit. She also has a few sugar daddies on file because, well, a girl’s gotta do what a girls gotta do. But to almost everyone in her life Theo just simply continues to put on the facade of being effortlessly rich. She even still goes to some rich people events and stuff like that just to keep up appearances, even if it drains her funds like nothing else. If anyone ever asks where her parents are, they’re out of town. Oh, Mom is in Milan for fashion week, and Dad is in China on a business trip. She has too much pride to admit the truth to anyone, because despite everything Theo is a little embarrassed of it and she does not want anyone by any means to ever pity her.

But by the end of the second semester of her first year Theo was getting worried. Yes, she had stepdad 1 pay for her tuition for the year and yes stepdad 2 was wiring money to her monthly for her rent and other expenses (which was really just code for Theo letting him help her raise her parents bail) all while she had stepdad 3 on standby for an emergency and a few profs and sugar daddies in rotation, but it still wasn’t enough. Theo still needed money to actually pay for her rent and expenses, not to mention extra to maintain her lifestyle, and her step father’s love could only stretch so far. So, for the first time in her life Theodora Montoya decided to get a... job. The very thought still makes her shudder on occasion, but she’s slightly soothed by the fact that she’s at least working at Dagwood. Not the most glamorous job by any means even when she ties her counselor shirt up just so, but the most subtle for sure. After all, she could easily disguise her actual need for money by saying she just wanted to hang out with some of her old camp friends and reminisce about their past antics. No one would question her, after all, Theo doesn’t tend to act like she actually wants to keep her job, what with how often she would bring her campers to the lake so that she could tan, or sit them down and give them questionable romance advice and call it exercise.

That was until Theo well and truly fucked up. It’s a rare occurrence but it happens, occasionally, and when it does Theo can sometimes admit it. One of her campers almost drowning on her watch was one of those times. Honestly, it was simply a circumstance where Theo was too freaked out to lie. Yes, she might be a horrible person and yes she dislikes kids in general, but she actually likes her little trolls. And she would never want to actually hurt one. And knowing that one may have died on her watch was a shock to the system. For once in her life Theo was actually genuinely remorseful. She honestly considered turning down the head of staff’s offer of a second chance, despite knowing she needed the money, because she truly wasn’t sure if she even should be in charge of kids. But in the end she accepted it, knowing she wanted to spend more time with the people and campers she’d grown attached to here.

But then came karma, the bitch who hits back in the form of the head who had decided to blackmail her in return. Honestly, it was almost funny how ironic it all was. Well, it would be if it wasn’t happening to her. As it is, Theo is doing her best to be on her best behavior as of late. That is at least until she can find herself with an opportunity to get some dirt of her own.

HEADCANNONS. i’m not killing people, i’m killing boys

was head bitch in charge in high school, head cheerleader, etc. very spoiled honestly, is used to asking people to jump and them asking how high, and can occasionally come off a bit bossy because of it.

still very much loves dance and gymnastics from her time cheerleading, actually used to do ballet growing up too. she is probably on a dance or gymnastic club at her university and on the competitive cheer team Considered becoming a dance major at one point but instead took freaking pre med (* elle woods vc * what, like it’s hard? dfkjdjk) for the money and only the money though!

honestly theo plays dumb a lot of the time and tbh,,, she is a bit of dumb when it comes to certain things (straight up thought that a banana would cost ten dollars before she started buying her own food, thinks you have to pay to get your mail, like rich people dumb yk) sdkjsdjk but she does really well academically like she’s never really struggled to much to make grades. will joke that she’s just in the medical department to try and meet her future husband though, and generally won’t share her grades because honestly she figures if people know she’s smart they’ll see her coming,,, and she doesn’t want that, if people think she’s just a pretty face it’s easier to screw them over.

is a really good student though and takes school pretty seriously but doesn’t want it to look like she does? like she wants to seem effortlessly smart, but she studies her ass off when no one’s looking. her binders are all colour coded and sexy, like she is a secret nerd for sure.

used to travel all over the place with her mother because of the amount of times her mother got married like it’d straight up be like i’m marrying this guy from sydney australia so off we go baby pack your bags aksbsj we’re moving. So she’s spent time all over the place honestly, i’d say she’s at least lived in five different countries in her life? So despite being born in New York, she’s been all over.

i’m going to say her mom got married three times in nine years so?? definitely sus but nothing too crazy like some men just do that anyways so dkjdjk

Can speak spanish (she learned from her mom), french, italian, german, and knows a bit of latin mostly because she took it in high school though so it truly is just a rich bitch thing. can speak bits and pieces of a few other languages but not fluent by any means

doesn’t tend to have the highest opinion of men in general because of the way she was raised but she’s not an asshole about it yk like unless you’re an older man she can exploit you’re safe.

a bisexual icon like all of my muses honestly! very much inspired by me finally starting to watch dare me and it taking over my life so yes this bitch swings both ways!

honestly lowkey really craves love and acceptance from her father but is so salty after the initial rejection that she won’t give him the chance to reject her again! she’d rather die!

honestly rejection is probably one of her biggest fears

a philophobe but i feel like no one is surprised. thinks love makes you stupid and yk what she’s not wrong! has never been in love!! or maybe she has,,, wc mayhaps??

watches a lot of reality tv and the entirety of her cabin is probably judging her for it but she doesn’t care!! will watch bachelor in paradise on her phone behind the mess hall in the living room (rip bip 2020,,, you will be missed)

speaking of the cabins, theo is super messy so fgkfdkj good luck y’all! her take out containers are probably stacked up in the staff fridge if they have one, and her room looks like tornado just went through it because this girl is used to having maids to clean up after her and now that she doesn’t she doesn’t know how to act!!

Is freaking tiny man. Like legitimately like 5’2.

dabbles in witchy stuff mostly for fun. believes in ghost. the one to pull out a ouija board at a party. very much into astrology. needs to know the time you were born.

her mom calls her juana but she’s really the only one to. goes by theo or thee for the most part, or mo depending on the person. her insta handle is @theomo

goes to visit her mom in prison like once a month. gets the guards to call her father over only so he can sit down, pick up the little phone thingie, and theo can look him in the eye as she hangs up on him sdkjdskj.

still a bitch for jesse mccartney! also one direction! the jonas brothers! also probably most boy bands, like she likes to pretend to be like yes hmm classical music because she wants to seem classy but just wATCH HER POP HER PUSSY TO BURNING UP! her campers have probably come back from activities to her doing entire performances in her fluffy bathrobe and bunny slippers and you know what good for them it was a whole show!

loves her campers because they treat her like a queen. i imagine most of the 13-15 year old girls are impressionable and see theo as some sort of god with her bottomless makeup tips and rich girl stories, and theo just basks in that. they make her feel powerful. she adores them.

won’t smoke, but will vape. also a lightweight when it comes to drinking, but she doesn’t want anybody to know that! will pop pills, but is very particular about it cause she doesn’t want an addiction. pill popping is for special occasions.

is incredibly ticklish on the low!

PERSONALITY. it’s not easy to apologize and that’s exactly why i won’t do it

FUN! theo enjoys a good party and isn’t nearly as posh as she likes to come across, so once you get to know her underneath the ice queen exterior she is a lot of fun.

quite WITTY mostly because she likes one upping people even in verbal spars. will give you the funniest advice and anecdotes because she’s just really snarky?

SELFISH as all hell god. feels no remorse about destroying these men’s lives. the embodiment of that killing eve scene where the guy is trying to bargain with villanelle to spare him like ‘i have kids!’ and villanelle is like ??? ‘i don’t want your kids’ aosbsjsq

GREEDY, kind of stuck up, materialistic, spoiled

in love with herself honestly. no one loves themselves more than theo loves theo. is she insecure underneath it all? i guess i’ll find out

kind of MEAN i’m not going to lie fgjkdfjk but only really to strangers and people she hates. hates a lot of people though, but is the type to be nice to their face and trash talk them behind their back, or trash talk them to their face sometimes too yk to mix it up

LOYAL! like if you’ve broken through her walls she’d probably kill a man for you (if she could get away with it scott free ofc)

SUPERIORity complex. doesn’t care what people think of her as long as they know she’s better than them wkenekej

EMOTIONALLY DISTANT. if you’re ever upset and need someone to comfort you do not come to theo she’ll just ask if you want to do some online shopping sksbsjs does not have a healthy relationship with her emotions at all. a straight shopoholic when she’s upset like she just fills that void with stuff or goes on a bit of a self destructive party spree (hence why she legit did still have her eighteenth birthday party after her parents were arrested)

a DRAMATIC bitch honestly.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. i want it all! i want it, want it, want it, the fame and the fortune and more! I WANT IT ALL!

BEST FRIENDS. her squad from camp please! also childhood friends mayhaps! a pen pal she confided in as she moved place to place! maybe someone she met at boarding school???

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE. someone who goes to her uni maybe? i’m pretty flexible about what school she goes to!

PEOPLE WHO KNOW HER FROM BOARDING SCHOOL. i said what i said! or people she used to pick on from boarding school, or even people who used to be on her cheer squad, or even people who HATED HER IN HIGH SCHOOL CAUSE YOU’RE VALID.

FIRST LOVE. first love at camp,,, once again i am putting this connection down cause it so cute

GIRL SQUAD. honestly just give me a group of girls that get up to wild antics together. it’s rare to see one of them without at least one of the others and it’s just cute and fun!

SOMEONE WHO SEES THROUGH HER BULLSHIT. someone who’s onto her! whether that be in her fake rich bitch antics or the entire ice queen facade!

FWB/EWB. open to ladies and gents, you know what it is.

EX FWB/EWB. same thing bby girls and boys come one come all.

ENEMIES. just !!! mutual hate man!! we love to see it! theo is vocal and passionate when she hates someone so!! give it to me!

SOMEONE WHOSE DAD SHE’S BLACKMAILING. i mean???? could be wild folks. we don’t have to make it that theo slept with him but she definitely got close enough to be able to blackmail him.

PLATONIC SOULMATE. just a soft f/m friendship where they know each other really well and get along really well and they really are not dating or even interested in that but everybody is like omg y’all should date but they’re like !!! never gonna happen it’s not like that

SIBLING LIKE RELATIONSHIP. they annoy each other! and drive each other crazy! but they would do almost anything for each other rip.

EX STEP SIBLING. theo’s mom definitely used their dad for money but maybe they don’t know that! or maybe they do! theo is probably currently using their dad for money and maybe they’re like girl you better STOP or maybe they want in on it, who knows.

GOD SIBLING. also cute and valid! they’ve known each other forever! maybe the only person to know about her parents cause they’re family? could also be a family friend.

PARTY FRIENDS. !!! give me friends who sneak out of dagwood together to go the club or something, or USED to sneak out of dagwood together before but now theo won’t cause she’s turning a new leaf and all that, or straight up friends who sneak out to the lake or by the woods to drink and party together.

SUGAR BABY. give me someone who theo spoils or used to spoil just because she does indeed love them. their is no sex involve probably, she just has a soft spot for their poor ass, even now that she’s technically poor herself.

FAMILY ENEMY. maybe like? an enemy of her family or something? their families are rivals or something like that or have a longstanding fued? could be wild could be fun.

ONE NIGHT STAND. self explanatory, could be from any time or anywhere tbh.

EXES. theo could honestly have a lot of these, once again… f or m or nb, any of the above work. theo doesn’t really know how to like? love someone though so this would be messy. she was probably only looking for a good time and probably played with their feelings more than a bit because of it. maybe dumped them or maybe they dumped her! if they dumped her than tksjdkjsd theo is incredibly offended and is probably trying to get them back and/or ruin their life out of spite so jot that down!

#dagwoodintro #how is this one even longer i don't understand #t.m. | intro.

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theobaba · 4 years

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━━ ( aslihan malbora + cis female + twenty ) oi , have you seen theodora ‘theo’ baba around ? she lives in flat 16 in bedroom 2 ? i was meant to meet them this morning at bean me up before our lecture but she didn’t show . no ? well , shit . if you do see them , can you tell them i’m looking for them ? they’re a 2nd year pre-med student from paris, france & you’ll know it’s them because they might just remind you of the gleam of sunlight off of cream silk , the smell of money , dotting your ‘i’s and ‘j’s with hearts, red lipstick on the rim of a champagne glass, and getting caught rolling your eyes in the background of a photograph if that helps at all . just be careful , she can be a little vain , judgemental & greedy sometimes . —- oh don’t look like that , they’re usually loyal , charming & resourceful most of the time . ✏ pepper , twenty three, she/her , est

ABOUT THE MUN what is that? that freaky thing? yes that’s right it’s a naked mole rat

hello everybody, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything ever in my life, so this is very on brand for me dkjddkj i made theo up a few days ago while watching dare me and feeling particularly inspired by the cheerleader antics, so here she is to fuck things up! but a bit about me to start, i can and will twerk to the cardcaptors opening theme song, because it is a bop and i think it’s time we all acknowledged that. i spent majority of the past week full on sobbing over the good place and i have no regrets. the last song i listened to was jumpin’ jumpin’ by destiny’s child, and once again, no ragrets. and finally the last movie i watched of the decade… was cats. so sdkjsdjk one regret.

BIO. she’s a maneater, make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you want all of her love.

to start here is a cute little pinterest board i did for her.

Theodora Aylin Baba was brought into the world and immediately wrapped in rich silk. Honestly. The first thing in her life to touch her skin was more expensive than anything most people touch in their lifetime and that set the tone for the rest of Theo’s life like nothing else could.

Theo’s father, Haluk ‘Luke’ Baba, was the CEO of a manufacturing company and her mother, Aysun, was beautiful. Really. That was her entire occupation. Before she married her father Theo heard that her mother used to be more. She was a model in Turkey, an amateur actress too. But growing up all Theo knew her mother to do was stand there, or occasionally sit there, and look pretty. And as a child Theo couldn’t think of a greater job in the world.

Until it became suddenly and abundantly clear that pretty wasn’t enough. Because of course other women could be pretty too. While Theo’s mother was particularly good at it, she didn’t have the market cornered. Theo’s nanny’s brand of pretty was not only enough to get Papa Baba into bed with her, but enough to get him to leave his wife and daughter too. Theo remembers the day he left with particular clarity. Half because it was her sixth birthday and half because that was the first time Theo had ever seen her mother look ugly. Because Aysun Baba’s rage was ugly and that ugliness showed as she chased Luke out of their house for good.

Theo’s father didn’t want her. Theo, that is, not her mother (although frankly he didn’t seem to want her either). He didn’t say it in so many words but there was no custody battle. Her mother got her without the slightest bit of fight and half of her fathers money to boot. Aysun still wanted Haluk’s head on a spike but the money eased her pain. And when she found Theo, crying about feeling unwanted and unloved, she had the money lick her wounds too. That day Theo got a solid gold necklace with her name on it, a pony, and tickets to see Jesse McCartney. That day Theo learned to wipe her tears on hundred dollar bills.

Her mother taught her other lessons as she grew up. First that you really could make money off of just being pretty. It was eye opening for Theo to see her mother use her looks to seduce men into marrying her. Successful men. Rich men. Men who should really know better, but easily fell to the charms of a pretty face. Aysun would usually get these men to wed her, stick around just for long enough to avoid questions, and then leave with half of their fortune. It was a subtle con but it was one that worked more than once, and through it all Aysun made sure her daughter knew everything she had come to learn, so that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes she did.

The Baba women lived well for a while (well, one Baba woman and whatever surname her mother had taken from her husband of the year). They had more money than they knew what to do with, all without either of them having to work a day for it. And they were greedy to boot. Theo expected the two of them to live this way for the rest of their lives. And maybe they would have if Aysun didn’t slip up.

Theo was fifteen when her parents got remarried. Theo got nothing out of the arrangement but a maid of honour dress she promptly burned, a half sibling she actively despised, and her biological father back she supposed. She hated it. She hated her father, and at that point she felt lied to by her mother, the one person she had been able to trust. Their household quickly became a warzone. Theo vs her parents. Theo rebelled against them whether that be through subtle rich bitch antics (getting a boy she liked to crash her daddy’s car, making a scene at an important event, trashing the house with a massive party, ‘losing’ her sibling in increasingly outlandish ways, etc) or straight out hostility. It did nothing but make Theo feel better honestly, but Theo selfishly thought that was more than enough. Until they decided to send her to fucking boarding school, like that was supposed to fix absolutely anything. It didn’t. It just pissed her off.

But that was Theo’s life for a while. Going to boarding school and only seeing her parents for Christmas breaks and summers. Watching the woman her mother was waste away into something lovestruck and meek and anxious. Aysun was terrified that Luke would cheat again, that if she didn’t keep him 100% happy he would leave her. She drank to cope. Popped more than a few pills too. And that’s how Theo learned that one of her earliest memories was a misunderstanding. That it wasn’t rage on Aysun’s face but desperation. She didn’t chase Luke out, he left. The new perspective was eye opening. Her mother wasn’t who she thought she was, or maybe she was, but love changed her. The rose coloured glasses she used to fool men into loving her were over her own eyes now, and they had made her weak.

The day before Theo’s birthday her father was very quietly arrested, and if you’re wondering, yes it did put a damper on her birthday party the following day. It should be mentioned that Luke Baba was the CEO of a weapons manufacturing company, and according to the government he had been selling said weapons at a considerable discount to the wrong people. Now honestly, Theo wouldn’t have minded her father going to jail. Yes, it was embarrassing but the government was keeping things very discreet as they underwent their investigation. No one would know that Luke Baba was behind bars.

But then they took her mother with him as an accomplice. And while Theo’s heart might not be very big or warm, she does have some loyalty.

And well, shortly after they seized their bank accounts, and that was the last straw. Because while Theo could maybe perhaps deal with being orphaned, being poor??? Was unthinkable.

Well, didn’t technically have it. Upon becoming bankrupt and orphaned Theo she called up some of her old stepfathers. Even though most of them (⅔) were still foolishly heartbroken over her mother, they all still loved Theo. They funded her without a second thought, giving her more than enough to get herself on her feet. But it couldn’t last forever. After all, she wasn’t even their step daughter anymore. But it’s due to their help and the scholarship that Theo was offered for her academic performance(that she honestly never thought that she’d actually need) that Theo can go to university and stay in the flats. With roommates. The thought still makes her shudder, even after being here two years.

But by the end of the second semester of her first year Theo was getting restless. Yes, she had stepdad 1 pay for her tuition for the year and yes stepdad 2 was wiring money to her monthly for her rent and other expenses (which was really just code for Theo letting him help her raise her mother’s bail) all while she had stepdad 3 on standby for an emergency, but was it enough? Theo wasn’t living the life she was used to living. It was infuriating. It was frustrating.

And it was around then that her professor made a pass at her. Like a sign from god. Or maybe Zeus, that perv. Everything suddenly clicked into place.

Theo has been doing this for about two years and she’s been pretty successful. It helps her pay her bills and fuels her shopping habit. She also has a few sugar daddies on file because a girl’s gotta do what a girls gotta do, but to almost everyone in her life Theo just simply continues to put on the facade of being effortlessly rich. She even still goes to some rich people events and shit just to keep up appearances. If anyone ever asks where her parents are, they’re out of town. Oh, Mom is in Milan for fashion week, and Dad is in China on a business trip. She has too much pride to admit the truth to anyone, because despite everything Theo is a little embarrassed of it and she does not want anyone by any means to ever pity her.

HEADCANNONS. i’m not killing people, i’m killing boys

still very much loves dance and gymnastics from her time cheerleading, actually used to do ballet growing up too. she is probably in a dance or gymnastic club at the university or even on the competitive cheer team if they have one. Considered becoming a dance major at one point but instead took freaking pre med (* elle woods vc * what, like it’s hard? dfkjdjk) for the money and only the money though!

honestly theo plays dumb a lot of the time and tbh,,, she is a bit of dumb when it comes to certain things (straight up thought that a banana would cost ten dollars before she started buying her own food, thinks you have to pay to get your mail, like rich people dumb yk) sdkjsdjk but she does really well academically like she’s never really struggled to much to make grades. will joke that she’s just in the department to try and meet her future husband though, and generally won’t share her grades because honestly she figures if people know she’s smart they’ll see her coming,,, and she doesn’t want that, if people think she’s just a pretty face it’s easier to screw them over.

is a really good student though and takes school pretty seriously but doesn’t want it to look like she does? like she wants to seem effortlessly smart, but she studies her ass off when no one’s looking. her binders are all coloured coded and sexy, like she is a secret nerd for sure.

i’m going to say her mom got married three times in nine years so?? definitely sus but nothing too crazy like some men just do that anyways so dkjdjk

Can speak turkish (she learned from her mom), french, italian, spanish, and knows a bit of latin mostly because she took it in high school though so it truly is just a rich bitch thing. can speak bits and pieces of a few other languages but not fluent by any means

doesn’t tend to have the highest opinion of men in general because of the way she was raised but she’s not an asshole about it yk like unless you’re an older man she can exploit you’re safe.

a bisexual icon like all of my muses honestly! very much inspired by me finally starting to watch dare me and it taking over my life so yes this bitch swings both ways!

honestly lowkey really craves love and acceptance from her father but is so salty after the initial rejection that she won’t give him the chance to reject her again! she’d rather die!

honestly rejection is probably one of her biggest fears

a philophobe but i feel like no one is surprised. thinks love makes you stupid and yk what she’s not wrong! has never been in love!! or maybe she has,,, wc mayhaps??

watches a lot of reality tv and the entirety of her flat is probably judging her for it but she doesn’t care!! will watch the bachelor in the living room and scream prayers for pilot pete’s last braincell!

speaking of the roommate situation, theo can’t cook and is super messy so fgkfdkj good luck y’all! her take out containers are probably stacked up in the fridge, and her room looks like tornado just went through it because this girl is used to having maids to clean up after her and now that she doesn’t she doesn’t know how to act!!

Is freaking tiny man. Like legitimately like 5’2.

dabbles in witchy stuff mostly for fun. believes in ghost. the one to pull out a ouija board at a party. very much into astrology. needs to know the time you were born.

her mom calls her aylin but she’s really the only one to. goes by theo or thee for the most part, or baba depending on the person.

still a bitch for jesse mccartney! also one direction! the jonas brothers! also probably most boy bands, like she likes to pretend to be like yes hmm classical music because she wants to seem classy but just wATCH HER POP HER PUSSY TO BURNING UP! her roommates have probably come home to her doing entire performances in her fluffy bathrobe and bunny slippers and you know what good for them it was a whole show!!

won’t smoke, but will vape. also a lightweight when it comes to drinking, but she doesn’t want anybody to know that!

is incredibly ticklish on the low!

PERSONALITY. it’s not easy to apologize and that’s exactly why i won’t do it

fun! theo enjoys a good party and isn’t nearly as posh as she likes to come across, so once you get to know her underneath the ice queen exterior she is a lot of fun.

quite witty mostly because she likes one upping people even in verbal spars. will give you the funniest advice and anecdotes because she’s just really snarky?

selfish as all hell god. feels no remorse about destroying these men’s lives. the embodiment of that killing eve scene where the guy is trying to bargain with villanelle to spare him like ‘i have kids!’ and villanelle is like ??? ‘i don’t want your kids’ aosbsjsq

greedy, kind of stuck up, materialistic, spoiled

in love with herself honestly. no one loves themselves more than theo loves theo. is she insecure underneath it all? i guess i’ll find out

kind of mean i’m not going to lie fgjkdfjk but only really to strangers and people she hates. hates a lot of people though, but is the type to be nice to their face and trash talk them behind their back, or trash talk them to their face sometimes too yk to mix it up

loyal! like if you’ve broken through her walls she’d probably kill a man for you (if she could get away with it scott free ofc)

superiority complex. doesn’t care what people think of her as long as they know she’s better than them wkenekej

if you’re ever upset and need someone to comfort you do not come to theo she’ll just ask if you want to do some online shopping sksbsjs does not have a healthy relationship with her emotions at all. a straight shopoholic when she’s upset like she just fills that void with stuff or goes on a bit of a self destructive party spree (hence why she legit did still have her eighteenth birthday party after her parents were arrested)

a dramatic bitch honestly.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. i want it all! i want it, want it, want it, the fame and the fortune and more! I WANT IT ALL!

omg before i forget i have a wanted tag right here and i would love anything inspired by any of the posts in it too!

BEST FRIENDS. i feel like this will mostly be her roommates but also childhood friends mayhaps! a pen pal she confided in as she moved place to place! maybe someone she met at boarding school???

SQUAD. people on the cheer squad at the university would be fun i’m just saying.

FIRST LOVE. like i said, theo has traveled all over (mr worldwide? more like MRS. WORLDWIDE! move over pitbull dsklsdk) and tbh i’m pretty flexible about where so this could literally be anybody!

GIRL SQUAD. honestly just give me a group of girls that get up to wild antics together. it’s rare to see one of them without at least one of the others and it’s just cute and fun!

SOMEONE WHO SEES THROUGH HER BULLSHIT. someone who’s onto her! whether that be in her fake rich bitch antics or the entire ice queen facade!

FWB/EWB. open to ladies and gents, you know what it is.

EX FWB/EWB. same thing bby girls and boys come one come all.

ENEMIES. just !!! mutual hate man!! we love to see it! theo is vocal and passionate when she hates someone so!! give it to me! tommy & arlo

SOMEONE WHOSE DAD SHE’S BLACKMAILING. i mean???? could be wild folks. we don’t have to make it that theo slept with him but she definitely got close enough to be able to blackmail him.

SIBLING LIKE RELATIONSHIP. they annoy each other! and drive each other crazy! but they would do almost anything for each other rip.

GOD SIBLING. also cute and valid! they’ve known each other forever! maybe the only person to know about her parents cause they’re family? could also be a family friend.

LEND ME SOME SUGAR, I AM YOUR NEIGHBOR. just a neighbor who theo is always pestering kjdjkd theo shares with them, despite the fact that they didn’t ask!! tries to prod into their life, it’s a whole ass mess.

PARTY FRIENDS. !!! give me friends who get fucked up together. maybe it’s a thing where theo parties with these people but tends to avoid hanging out with them outside of that setting?

FAMILY ENEMY. maybe like? an enemy of her family or something? their families are rivals or something like that or have a longstanding fued? could be wild could be fun.

ONE NIGHT STAND. self explanatory, could be from any time or anywhere tbh.

#theflats:intro #god... this is so long for no reason #izzy's will definitely be shorter!!

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tailahjanbash · 6 years

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For the One

Right now, I’m sitting in the Denver airport. I think I got about three hours of sleep last night? Honestly I’m too tired to even tell.

I’m on my way to a mission trip in Tijuana and on the plane ride here, attempted to gas myself up on Jesus so I would be ~spiritually in-tune~ by the time I got to Tijuana. (Even though I should have been spending more time with God this week because I wanted to, not waiting till I got on the plane so I’d be ready for a trip. Smh.)

I think transparency is how you connect with people. I guess I could act like some hyper spiritual Christian guru that never sins, but then how would I be able to relate to people? The bible says we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.

Anyways I��ll stop rebuking myself and get to the heart of this message. Ha.

I’ve been reading Tailor Made by Alex Seeley *sidenote: If you struggle with identity, labels, insecurity, purpose / anything normal people battle with– Get. This. Book. It’s amazing!

One chapter in particular stood out to me. She writes, “Our character is developed over time and fashioned by the choices we make. He uses adversity to fashion and mold us into who we were created to be.”

She concludes this section with:

The destination is the process

The more trials that we face, the more Christ-like we become.

Isn’t that the meat of our entire existence here on earth?

To get to know God and to let His love transform us and make us more like Him?

Of course we have desires and dreams, but we do not take those with us when we leave these temporary bodies.

All we take is our spirit.

I think we spend a lot of time chasing the promises instead of the promise giver.

When we do this—when we shift our eyes onto anything that is not the Father, we sell ourselves short. We settle for less.

This is a hard concept to grasp. We long for tangible love or tangible evidence of God. We want to feel him, or maybe we just want simple proof that He exists.

In fact, there is someone reading this right now—there has been a battle in your mind that seems unrelenting. You have no idea what you believe and you have been begging God to reveal himself to you in any way, shape, or form. You are just desperate to find some solid ground to stand on. Something that won’t leave you empty, spent, and heartbroken like every other relationship has left you. Something that will not leave you scarred. Friend, let me tell you right now, there is no rock more stable, no love more steadfast and selfless than the love of Jesus. Than the love of a God who chose you and knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5) who laid down his life so that He could spend eternity with you, lavishing you in His perfect fatherly love that you felt starved from growing up.

Isn’t it amazing how He leaves the 99 for the 1? In Matthew 18, Jesus is speaking to his disciples and uses a parable of sheep to illustrate his heart for the one who feels lost:

“If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.” Matt 18:10-14

He promises to go out of His way for us when we feel unloved, broken, scared, and unwanted. A lie that too many of us believe is, “God is too busy taking care of the rest of the world to worry about my problems.”

Can I be blunt? You’re limiting God. When we think this way, we are doubting His power and His heart.

We tend to see God through the lens of our familial and parental relationships.

If you felt neglected by your parents, it might be easy for you to think of God in this way. Maybe your parents didn’t delight in you. But Psalm 37 says he delights in the details of your life!

He is love, the fabric of the universe is woven together by his speech. I believe He is all around. That He sees you. He knows you. He sees you on your mountain tops, and He sees you when you’ve come home drunk and you stumble into bed crying because you feel like you’ve backslidden again. He sees you in your sweetest, most intimate moments of worship, and when you’re crying on the bathroom floor because you gave your entire heart to someone and they broke it.

There is no best friend, no parent, no sibling that knows you the way He does.

Jesus knew in advance of all the things you hide, even from the ones you are closest with, and He willingly chose to die for you. It didn’t matter to him how dark, how broken, jaded, or evil the heart.

Prayer

God, I thank you for the work that you are already doing in my heart. I ask that you would continue this work in me. Holy Spirit, I invite you into my heart and into my life and ask that you would begin to speak to me. I repent for doubting You, and ask that You would increase my faith and trust in You right now in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Hebrews 3:15

"So today when you hear his voice, don't harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled."

Songs

For the One - Bethel Music

Come to Me - Jesus Culture

#god #love #agape #christ #christian #faith #hope #mission #travel #jesus #devo #devotional #worship #bible #study #pray #prayer #life #insecurity #trust #doubt #athiest #agnostic #faithless

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yesihateyouuniverse-blog · 6 years

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I don't want to do this life anymore

RELIGION: I believe in God but I don't trust him because none of it makes sense or adds up. Id like to believe that we've got to be her for some reason or reward because here is miserable and a disgusting place. But any further than that I just don't know. Nothing makes sense even if this is what they say it still doesn't add up. Like even if we're here to take a test it's not fair because everyone is taking a different one and was born with different strengths and weaknesses. And has different advantaged and disadvantages. I just don't get it and supposedly if we are taking a test and "god already knows if we will choose good or bad and we're just here learning about ourselves & what we'll choose." That's stupid too like why didn't he just make us the way he wanted us to be afterall he can supposedly do anything. And how is it fair he got to be in charge and have power over us and our lives . That's not fair. Why doesn't anyone think far enough to realize how messed up that is . Like if you had a kid and then you controlled them , you chose for them to be born, how you raise them, and Control their every aspect what they can and cannot do and give them a set of rules A . they can do these things and get treats and happiness or B . they can do these things and get no treats and locked in a dark closet for the rest of your existence. Like what if we dont want either options . What if we want to do what we want .what if we never even wanted created in the first place. And why are some people just naturally good caring people and other people just naturally evil disgusting people who go around hurting people with no remorse. And why are some people naturally extroverts and some people naturally I introverts. And we all have our own personalities were born with . These things don't come from our parents or Satan . They come from god or whoever created us. And if he wanted us to be a certain way or be thankful for everything he did for us he could have just made us perfect or however he wanted if he has all power. There would be no need for this earth and all of the things that happen on it . And he would be able to control Satan from doing bad things. It's not our fault if stupid Satan chose to be bad we shouldn't have to pay for that. It just all doesn't add up. I'd like to believe there is some reason that's actually legit that why we have to go through all of this shit here in hell. Cuz it's not fair and it's not right! And to add females have it way unfair compared to men. And why's god a man too?

DEPRESSION / ANXIETY: Life is not worth living with them. Sure they have meds, counselors, psychiatrist etc.. but they don't help that much and it's hard as hell to find a decent counselor but even then they can only do so much. You'll never feel more alone in life than when you have either or both of these things. Sure theses doctors go to school to try and understand and cure these illnesses but they can't because no one person is the same or feels the same way. You are the only one in your head and no one else can see, understand, or feel that. And some things I don't want to work on and some things can't be resolved . I never asked to have depression or anxiety so why do I have to work like hell to try and cure it. I may stubborn but at the same time I can't turn off the racing thoughts in my head, the panic attacks, and the depression is a dark cloud that hangs over my head and I have no control over it how hard I try it has complete power over me. And there's no one who understands or can relate and so I can't talk to anyone about it and I can't deal with it either cuz nothing helps and it's so painful it would at least help to have someone to talk to even if there is no solution to it. INTROVERTS: We are in the minority and we're constantly hounded and put down for simple being who we are. If that's not a self esteem blow I don't what is. We have to constantly take digs from everyone we come in contact with and it's a very personal offense because their making fun of or putting down for something that's just part of our personality that we don't chose or have control over. It's just part of who we are and that's just that. I had to teach myself that it's OK for me to be who I am (an introvert). And learn that extroverts are born without the ability to see outside of themselves or empathize. They are selfish self centered creatures and closed minded and they will never change whereas introverts can understand their ways and except that it's a different and not try to change them. Or think we are better than them. They are all the same they do the same things because they are sheep that don't have opinions of their own they just follow whatever society/ majority of population does. So they can't understand introverts, people who don't want kids, or people who don't just follow a religion etc. They see these people as trying to stand out, be different, rebel, or selfish. When the truth is we just think for ourselves and are creative to come up with ideas rather than just follow like a heard of blind sheep. KIDS: People who have kids or wants kids call people who don't have and don't want kids, selfish. When in truth either choice is selfish. As you yourself make that choice. That choice is made by you and what YOU do or do not want. And some people who don't want kids actually don't want them for good selfless reasons. Which a person who wants kids would never consider. Most people have kids because they want it to either control it or to feel loved by it or to try and live through it and make up for the life they wish they could have had through that child. Or majority just has a kid cuz they were just having sex and to stupid and selfish and to use protection. Only concerned about themselves and their personal hormones and pleasure. And you know it takes two to make a baby but neither the guy nor the girl care so they pop out a baby because taking care of a child for 18 years and paying 50,000 is a much more reasonable solution than buying a $1 condom or going to a healthcare place and getting free ones! And saving you and the other parent all the stress of raising a kid you didn't want, and saving the kid from feeling unloved or growing up with no stability in its life being passed back and forth between parents. Or not ever meeting it's mom or it's dad cuz. And having to stay in communication with your ex or one night stand partner for the next 18 years . I could go on but I'll stop. Anyway people with kids your kids aren't the shit your just biased cuz your suppose to love the damn things. And you don't need to be so protective, no one wants your snot covered poop filled diaper screaming little ugly human . And you sure as hell don't need to tell people what they should do with their lives of they don't want kids they don't need to have them and who the hell are you to try and make them feel like their in the wrong for not having them . I'm sorry are you god and you know everything? Oh nope didn't think so🙄.

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tpanan · 4 years

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My Saturday Daily Blessings

October 24, 2020

Be still quiet your heart and mind, the LORD is here, loving you talking to you...........

Saturday of the Twenty-ninth Week in Ordinary Time Lectionary: 478

First Reading: Ephesians 4: 7-16

Brothers and sisters: Grace was given to each of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore, it says: He ascended on high and took prisoners captive; he gave gifts to men.

What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended into the lower regions of the earth? The one who descended is also the one who ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things. And he gave some as Apostles, others as prophets, others as evangelists, others as pastors and teachers, to equip the holy ones for the work of ministry, for building up the Body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of faith and knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood to the extent of the full stature of Christ, so that we may no longer be infants, tossed by waves and swept along by every wind of teaching arising from human trickery, from their cunning in the interests of deceitful scheming. Rather, living the truth in love, we should grow in every way into him who is the head, Christ, from whom the whole Body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, with the proper functioning of each part, brings about the Body’s growth and builds itself up in love.

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 122: 1-2, 3-4ab, 5cd

"Let us go rejoicing to the house of the Lord."

Verse before the Gospel: Ezekiel 33:11

R. Alleluia, Alleluia.

"I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man, says the Lord, but rather in his conversion that he may live."

R. Alleluia, Alleluia.

**Gospel: Luke 13: 1-9

Some people told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with the blood of their sacrifices. He said to them in reply, “Do you think that because these Galileans suffered in this way they were greater sinners than all other Galileans? By no means! But I tell you, if you do not repent, you will all perish as they did! Or those eighteen people who were killed when the tower at Siloam fell on them– do you think they were more guilty than everyone else who lived in Jerusalem? By no means! But I tell you, if you do not repent, you will all perish as they did!” And he told them this parable: “There once was a person who had a fig tree planted in his orchard, and when he came in search of fruit on it but found none, he said to the gardener, ‘For three years now I have come in search of fruit on this fig tree but have found none. So cut it down. Why should it exhaust the soil?’ He said to him in reply, ‘Sir, leave it for this year also, and I shall cultivate the ground around it and fertilize it; it may bear fruit in the future. If not you can cut it down.’”

Readings for the Optional Memorial of Saint Anthony Mary Claret, bishop

*Meditation:

What can a calamity, such as a political blood-bath or a natural disaster, teach us about God's kingdom and the consequences of wrong-doing and turning away from God? Jesus used two such occasions to address the issue of sin (wrong-doing) and judgment with his Jewish audience. Pilate, who was the Roman governor of Jerusalem at the time, ordered his troops to slaughter a group of Galileans who had come up to Jerusalem to offer sacrifice in the Temple. We do not know what these Galileans did to incite Pilate's wrath, nor why Pilate chose to attack them in the holiest of places for the Jews, in their temple at Jerusalem. For the Jews, this was political barbarity and sacrilege at its worst!

The second incident which Jesus addressed was a natural disaster, a tower in Jerusalem which unexpectedly collapsed, killing 18 people. The Jews often associated such calamities and disasters as a consequence of sin (doing what is wrong and contrary to God's law). Scripture does warn that sin can result in calamity!

Though the righteous fall seven times, and rise again; the wicked are overthrown by calamity (Proverbs 24:16).

The time for repentance and forgiveness is right now! The real danger and calamity which Jesus points out is that an unexpected disaster or a sudden death does not give us time to repent of our sins by acknowledging our wrong-doing and asking for pardon here and now before we die and are brought face to face with the Lord of heaven and earth when he calls us to his judgment seat. The Book of Job reminds us that misfortune and calamity can befall both the righteous and the unrighteous alike. Jesus gives a clear warning - take responsibility for your actions and moral choices and put sin to death today before it can poison your heart, corrupt your mind, and bring destruction to your body as well.

Allowing sin and sinful attitudes to go unchecked in us is like a cancer which spreads and corrupts us from within and causes death if it is not cut off.We must honestly and humbly acknowledge our sins before God and ask for his forgiveness and for his healing grace to restore and change us so that we may grow day by day into the holiness he desires for us. Holding on to sinful attitudes, and refusing to confess our wrongdoing (sins) before God to receive his pardon and healing, can only lead to one result - a corrupt heart, mind, and soul that is dead spiritually. Paul the Apostle reminds us that "the wages of sin in death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). Spiritual death and separation from God is a far worse condition than any physical harm or loss we might experience in this present life.Choose today for the abundant life and grace which Christ has won for you through his victory over sin and death on the Cross.

The sign of the barren fig tree Jesus followed his warning to turn away from sin and not allow it to corrupt our minds and hearts with an illustration and story (parable) from nature and farming which his listeners would have easily understood. Good land for growing crops and fruit trees were sparse in the arrid climate of Judae and the surrounding desert regions. One very common and important source of food for the people who lived in the region of Galilee and Judea was the fig tree. Its fruit was highly prized and became a symbol of God's fruitful blessing and provision for his people. A fig tree normally matured within three years, producing plentiful fruit. If it failed, it was cut down to make room for more healthy trees. A decaying fig tree and its bad fruit came to symbolize for the Jews the consequence of spiritual corruption caused by evil deeds and unrepentant sin.

The unfruitful fig tree symbolized the outcome of Israel's indifference and lack of response to God's word of repentance and restoration. The prophets depicted the desolation and calamity of Israel's fall and ruin - due to her unfaithfulness to God - as a languishing fig tree (see Joel 1:7,12; Habbakuk 3:17; and Jeremiah 8:13). Jeremiah likened good and evil rulers and members of Israel with figs that were either good for eating or rotten and wasteful (Jeremiah 24:2-8). Jesus' parable depicts the patience of God, but it also contains a warning that we should not presume upon God's patience and mercy. God's judgment will come in due course - very soon or later. Jesus' parable of the barren fig tree illustrates his warning about the consequences of allowing sin (wrongdoing) and moral corruption to take root in our hearts and minds. We must turn away from sinful atttitudes and sinful habits and turn to God for his transforming grace and power to change us.

Why God judges Why does God judge his people? He judges to purify and cleanse us of all sin so that we might grow in his holiness and righteousness (being in a right relationship with God). And he disciplines us for our own good, to inspire a godly fear and reverence for him and his holy word. God is patient, but for those who persistently and stubbornly rebel against him and refuse to repent and change their course, there is the consequence that they will lose both their soul and body to hell.

Are God's judgments unjust or unloving? When God's judgments are revealed in the earth, the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness (Isaiah 26:9). To pronounce God's judgment on sin is much less harsh than what will happen if those who sin are not warned to repent and turn back to God.

Don't tolerate sin God, in his mercy, gives us time to get right with him, but that time is now. We must not assume that there is no hurry. A sudden and unexpected death leaves one no time to prepare to settle one's accounts when he or she must stand before the Lord on the day of judgment. Jesus warns us that we must be ready at all times. Tolerating sinful habits and excusing unrepentant sin and wrongdoing will result in bad fruit, painful discipline, and spiritual disease that leads to death and destruction. The Lord in his mercy gives us both grace (his gracious help and healing) and time to turn away from sin, but that time is right now. If we delay, even for a day, we may discover that grace has passed us by and our time is up. Do you hunger for the Lord's righteousness (moral goodness) and holiness?

Lord Jesus, increase my hunger for you that I may grow in righteousness and holiness. May I not squander the grace of the present moment to say "yes" to you and to your will and plan for my life.

Sources:

Lectionary for Mass for Use in the Dioceses of the United States, second typical edition, Copyright © 2001, 1998, 1997, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine; Psalm refrain © 1968, 1981, 1997, International Committee on English in the Liturgy, Inc. All rights reserved. Neither this work nor any part of it may be reproduced, distributed, performed or displayed in any medium, including electronic or digital, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

**Meditations may be freely reprinted and translated into other languages for non-profit use only. Please cite copyright and original source at dailyscripture.servantsoftheword.org

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seekfirstme · 4 years

Text

Meditation: What can a calamity, such as a political blood-bath or a natural disaster, teach us about God's kingdom and the consequences of wrong-doing and turning away from God? Jesus used two such occasions to address the issue of sin (wrong-doing) and judgment with his Jewish audience. Pilate, who was the Roman governor of Jerusalem at the time, ordered his troops to slaughter a group of Galileans who had come up to Jerusalem to offer sacrifice in the Temple. We do not know what these Galileans did to incite Pilate's wrath, nor why Pilate chose to attack them in the holiest of places for the Jews, in their temple at Jerusalem. For the Jews, this was political barbarity and sacrilege at its worst!

The time for repentance and forgiveness is right now!

The real danger and calamity which Jesus points out is that an unexpected disaster or a sudden death does not give us time to repent of our sins by acknowledging our wrong-doing and asking for pardon here and now before we die and are brought face to face with the Lord of heaven and earth when he calls us to his judgment seat. The Book of Job reminds us that misfortune and calamity can befall both the righteous and the unrighteous alike. Jesus gives a clear warning - take responsibility for your actions and moral choices and put sin to death today before it can poison your heart, corrupt your mind, and bring destruction to your body as well.

The sign of the barren fig tree

Jesus followed his warning to turn away from sin and not allow it to corrupt our minds and hearts with an illustration and story (parable) from nature and farming which his listeners would have easily understood. Good land for growing crops and fruit trees were sparse in the arrid climate of Judae and the surrounding desert regions. One very common and important source of food for the people who lived in the region of Galilee and Judea was the fig tree. Its fruit was highly prized and became a symbol of God's fruitful blessing and provision for his people. A fig tree normally matured within three years, producing plentiful fruit. If it failed, it was cut down to make room for more healthy trees. A decaying fig tree and its bad fruit came to symbolize for the Jews the consequence of spiritual corruption caused by evil deeds and unrepentant sin.

Why God judges

Why does God judge his people? He judges to purify and cleanse us of all sin so that we might grow in his holiness and righteousness (being in a right relationship with God). And he disciplines us for our own good, to inspire a godly fear and reverence for him and his holy word. God is patient, but for those who persistently and stubbornly rebel against him and refuse to repent and change their course, there is the consequence that they will lose both their soul and body to hell.

Don't tolerate sin

God, in his mercy, gives us time to get right with him, but that time is now. We must not assume that there is no hurry. A sudden and unexpected death leaves one no time to prepare to settle one's accounts when he or she must stand before the Lord on the day of judgment. Jesus warns us that we must be ready at all times. Tolerating sinful habits and excusing unrepentant sin and wrongdoing will result in bad fruit, painful discipline, and spiritual disease that leads to death and destruction. The Lord in his mercy gives us both grace (his gracious help and healing) and time to turn away from sin, but that time is right now. If we delay, even for a day, we may discover that grace has passed us by and our time is up. Do you hunger for the Lord's righteousness (moral goodness) and holiness?

"Lord Jesus, increase my hunger for you that I may grow in righteousness and holiness. May I not squander the grace of the present moment to say "yes" to you and to your will and plan for my life. "

“A TIME TO UPROOT THE PLANT” (ECCL 3:2)

“Through Him the whole body grows.” —Ephesians 4:16

God began His cultivation of the earth in the Garden of Eden (Gn 2:8ff). Man was assigned to care for the Garden of Eden, but man and woman didn’t care for the garden. Instead, they cared for their own curiosity. So man was banished from the garden. Then Jesus came and restored man’s access to God’s gardening. To do this, Jesus had to be betrayed, suffer anguish, and be arrested in a garden, Gethsemane. Finally, “in the place where [Jesus] had been crucified there was a garden” (Jn 19:41).

Mary Magdalene on the morning of the Resurrection thought Jesus was the Gardener (Jn 20:15). In a way, she was correct. Jesus restored the garden and made it surpass even the original beauty of Eden. He now calls us to join Him forever in “the garden of God” (Rv 2:7).

We are to grow from little plants (Eph 4:12-15) to full, fruitful plants. Jesus the Gardener gives us everything needed to flourish in His garden. But we don’t have unlimited time to bear fruit. There is a time of reaping fruit from our lives (see Lk 13:8-9). We have a merciful Gardener Who gives us every opportunity, and does so far more patiently than most gardeners ever will. So let us surrender all to the cultivation of Jesus the Gardener.

Even if we have had many fruitless, sinful years of life, Jesus the Gardener can make our lives beautiful and fruitful — by His grace and not our efforts. Like Mary, let it be done to us according to God’s will.

Prayer: Father, do in me whatever You must, to do through me whatever You will.

Promise: “Let us profess the truth in love and grow to the full maturity of Christ the Head.” —Eph 4:15

Praise: St. Anthony Claret is known as the spiritual father of Cuba. In his popular missions he placed emphasis on the Eucharist and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

Reference: (This teaching was submitted by a member of our editorial team.)

Rescript: "In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat for One Bread, One Body covering the period from October 1, 2020 through November 30, 2020. Most Reverend Joseph R. Binzer, Auxiliary Bishop, Vicar General, Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Cincinnati, Ohio February 25, 2020"

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

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calleighsemana · 4 years

Text

To my Fatherless Son

Dear anak,

I want to let you know what’s on my mind my handsome boy. So I’ll just write and get it over with.

Nine months I wish I had someone to rub my back and kiss my tummy. I wanted nothing else but the concept of family be alive in us, and I am not sure what I have done for us to not deserve that. One thing I was sure of was, I loved you. From this day, I know I have to protect you from the world.

You are too young to notice this, but papa isn’t around. Believe me, my son; this has nothing to do with you. That he made his mind not to grow with you, I cannot explain. I know he will always love you in his own special way. It kills me to know that you may spend the rest of your life questioning his decision and doubting my answer but oh son; this was not your fault. He did not leave because you weren’t amazing.

The concept of a father may be a fuzzy one for you. You may never know the warmth of a hug from a real father or experience the strong voice of direction from one. For you, hearing other children recount the joy of having a dad may worsen the painful void within you. You are not alone my Super Hero. Imagine that little girl going through the same pain. Think of the challenges society brings to single moms raising ‘fatherless’ sons.

In your own way, I know you are special. So no, I don’t mind teaching you how to be a man. I will teach you how to tie a tie. I will show you the right way to tie your shoelace when the time comes. I will never miss any doctor’s appointment regardless of your age. And when you are old enough, we will talk about girls to make sure you find the right one. I will teach you how to value your woman and keep her as a treasure. Even though my dream of walking down the aisle with my father is shattered, I will watch your queen walk down the aisle as you wait on the altar.

There are days we’ll have it all, other days will be tough, and you may even go to bed without food. But I believe in Deuteronomy 8: 16. These will just be trying times, and we will fight. It’s easy to take the wrong path and slide into drugs and violence. This world is not as kind to everyone my son. It may be tempting to rebel against the world and be unkind to those who have been cold and unloving towards you. Please know that not everyone takes this path. Some children were even in worse situations, but they have broken free from the chains of failure. It’s all about the choice you make.

No situation is permanent my boy unless you want it to be. God knows your talent, and He understands your potential otherwise you wouldn’t have been born. You have a role, and I know God will help me see you through.

There is a hidden gem inside you, and I will help you find it. Learn to embrace God because He is the only true father you have my boy – He says it in Psalms 68:5. When He calls, I hope you will respond. You can win in this world even when no one expects much from you. You are still young, but I can see the potential in you. After all, I am your mother, and it is my motherly instinct talking right now.

Sorry, there are a lot of things that I cannot fix. I cannot bring your father back, and I don’t have all the answers. When I look into your eyes though, I see the same angel I held in my arms the first day the doctors gave you to me. I love you more each day, and this love is intense and pure. No, I will never leave you. So stick with me, and I know we will beat all odds.

Mama will tuck you in bed at night, and Mama will wake up with you every morning. All those who love you surround you with great joy, and I know they also see your worth. Papa may not be here to see it, but we all see it. The Lord spoke in Isaiah 13:12. He will make the man in you more precious than gold. Jesus repeats it too in Matthew 10:31. Oh! You are loved, son! Nothing should put you down. Don’t ever forget my words.

Forever,

Mama ❤

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thefoodwiththedood · 6 years

Photo

So I’ve hinted at these guys a couple times in asks and stories, but I’m happy to say I finally got to drawing them! Meet Naj Kar and Anva Evis—powerful warriors, rebel sympathizers, star-crossed lovers, and the parents Cerate hardly got to know.

Pictured here is them when they lived as a pair of smugglers post-Order 66, in an effort to make some cash and distance themselves from their old Jedi identities—more on that in their backstory, though. I of course have to give props to @empress-only-in-name for helping me flesh out their designs a bit with this commission from forever ago—for the longest time I had no idea how these two would look but, with their help and a whole lot of experimenting, I think I finally have a concrete design for them with this one!

All told, I’m super happy with how these guys turned out, but what do you guys think? Do these designs look cool? Do you wanna see more from them? Should I have them come back as Force ghosts and teach Cer the ways of the Jedi order? Send whatever feedback you have my way! :D

Just as with all my OCs, their backstories are under the cut. Btw, Master Sko’dal, who’s mentioned briefly down there, belongs to @deer-head-xiris.

Naj Kar and Anva Evis were both born before the invasion of Naboo—Naj in 36 BBY, Anva in 37—to a Dathomiri witch and an Iridonian couple, respectively. Yet as would become the norm for the rest of their lives, any hope of normalcy was quickly ripped from them. Anva was discovered to be Force-sensitive as an infant, which in turn prompted the Jedi to come and take her away from her parents to their temple on Coruscant. There she was raised under the Jedi’s firm yet unloving hand, learning the ways of the Force and the Jedi code. When she turned thirteen, it was decided that she would enter the next stage of her training, and thus she was placed under the tutelage of the Kaleesh Jedi Master Vortys Banne. as his Padawan.

Naj, however, found himself in a far less hospitable home. He was also discovered to be Force-sensitive at a young age, but before either the Jedi or the Sith could get to him, he was taken by a far more malicious clan—the Hutts. One day, a convoy of Hutt clan slaver ships stopped on Dathomir to refuel, and while they were stopped they took the liberty of ransacking Naj’s village and enslaving many of its inhabitants. In the ensuing years, Naj would be separated from the others, and eventually he would find himself a slave to Marlo the Hutt on Nal Hutta. There, when he was still only a child, Naj was made to fight in gladiatorial combat, due to his species’ reputation as incredible warriors. Miraculously, Naj would survive these fights for years, on account of his natural strength and, of course, with a little subtle help from the Force.

And even more miraculously, it would be this use of the Force that would bring Naj and Anva together. It was 23 BBY—only a year before the start of the Clone Wars. Word had eventually got out that Marlo possessed a Force-sensitive gladiator, and eventually that word reached the Jedi order, who sent Master Banne and Padawan Evis to Nal Hutta to investigate the claims. Sure enough, Naj was fighting when they got there. It was the most surreal thing—a twelve year old boy, barely big enough to fill the armor he wore, putting down men twice his size like it was nothing. Not only that, but he was clearly using the Force, both to enhance his strength and physically move his opponents. Master Banne looked on the boy and saw a potential asset to the Order, but Anva saw past the boy’s strength and saw something else—he was scared. He didn’t want to fight.

After the fight, Banne got straight to negotiating with Marlo about buying the boy his freedom. While he did, Anva went and found Naj in his room—which was less of a room and more of a cell, really. He was a ghastly sight up close: malnourished, bruised and scarred, with striking black tattoos covering every inch of his carnelian-colored skin. When Anva tried to speak to him, he jumped out of fright and averted his gaze from hers. Just as Anva had suspected—the poor kid had learned to fear everyone new person he met. He’d never had a friend—only masters with whips and opponents with blades. Anva kept trying to talk, but it wasn’t until Naj got a good look at her that he started to break down his wall just a little bit. Evidently, meeting another Zabrak—and one as kind as Anva, at that—was just what he needed to feel comfortable. Soon enough, Naj was happy as a clam, and as he and Anva talked more they became fast friends. Why, Anva just couldn’t wait to be there with him as they both grew into powerful Jedi knights.

But, that vision didn’t exactly pan out. After freeing Naj and taking him back to Coruscant, Banne and Anva brought Naj before the council. There, they judged him, tested his midi-chlorian count and everything, but the conclusion they came to was more grim than anyone had hoped. Due to Naj being a member of a species heavily connected to the dark side, as well as being immersed in violence for his whole life, it was decided that Naj couldn’t and wouldn’t be trained as a Jedi. Banne and Anva protested, but they were ignored. Instead, it was decided that Naj would be kept at the temple for his own safety, but he could never be a Jedi. Anva was at first upset at this news, but with time she accepted what she’d been given, and over the next year she and Naj hung out in the temple whenever they could, with her training progressing all the while.

Then, the Clone Wars broke out. Padawan Anva became Commander Evis of the G.A.R., and she began to see her friend Naj less and less in favor of long military campaigns. Yet instead of growing apart, the two began to treat their little time together as sacred, with Anva spending nearly all of her time at the temple with Naj. They’d just spend hours talking—sometimes Anva would read to Naj, as he himself was illiterate, and sometimes the two would share Force tricks they’d picked up, but mostly they’d just talk. Naj would recount the events of his mundane Temple life, and Anva would vent about the stresses of war. In both cases, they talked of how alone they felt. How everyone saw them only as objects or weapons of war. How they felt stuck—isolated, even surrounded by masses of people. When they were together, though...they felt happy. They felt understood. Dare I say it, they felt loved.

Love is exactly what blossomed between them, too. It started out purely platonic, but soon enough things did get physical from time to time—they were teenagers, though, who could blame ‘em? Their few and far between meetings at the temple became secret trysts, known of only by them and a few close friends. They knew what they were doing was dangerous, but for better or worse, their love pushed them to risk it. Eventually, however, the risk came back to bite them. Somehow their secret got out, and word eventually made its way back to Master Banne, who promptly told the council of what had happened. In the ensuing debate about what was to be done next, it was concluded that Naj must have been the instigator of these heinous acts, as surely a padawan on the brink of becoming a knight couldn’t be so vulgar. It was decided, then—Naj Kar no longer had a place in the Jedi’s sanctum.

The next morning, Naj was confronted. Four temple guards came to his door, expecting him to lash out, but Naj already knew what was to come, and so he went quietly with them to the chamber of judgement. There, he was judged by a panel of masters, with Master Banne and a few others also being present. It wasn’t much of a deliberation, though—everyone had already come to an agreement. Before they could deliver their final verdict, however, Anva burst into the chamber, visibly frantic and clearly out-for-blood. Thinking she’d arrived to deliver further evidence against Naj, the council permitted her to speak.

That was their second mistake—their first mistake was ever wronging Anva Evis. With her soapbox conveniently set, Anva proceeded to tear into the Jedi, letting loose all her frustration into one impassioned speech. She berated the Jedi for their hypocrisy; they had become an order of mercenaries serving the dark side, killers in a pointless war, enemies of peace and allies of violence—and they had the audacity to punish an innocent man just for feeling love? She was far less articulated than I put it, though—at one point, when Master Yoda tried to refute her claims, she silenced him by saying, and I quote, “suck my dick, you crusty little goblin”. Vulgar as her speech was, though, its meaning reigned true—the Jedi had no right to punish neither she nor Naj, and she would tolerate their rules no longer. She closed her speech by ripping out her padawan braid, mashing it into the ground with her boot, taking Naj’s hands, and telling the council that, “if loving Naj isn’t the Jedi way, then the Jedi way isn’t my way”. She then pulled him in for a impassioned kiss, and after it was broken she said, “now that is my way”.

The room went silent for a moment—save for Master Sko’dal uttering a half impressed/half shocked “holy shit” under their breath, no one said a word. Finally, after snapping back to reality, Yoda simply furrowed his brow and pointed towards the exit, without another word. Anva responded by flipping him the bird, and as she did, Naj swept her off her feet and bridal-carried her out of the chamber. The two couldn’t help but smile, then laugh at the whole ordeal. Sure, they’d burnt every bridge they’d ever built in one fell swoop, but now they were free to go and do as they pleased—and they’d never felt happier. It was the most surreal thing, them walking out of the temple; they marched out like a bride and groom walking down the aisle, but no one dared cheer for them, lest they face similar banishment. The two were alone, for real this time—but they were alone together.

In the coming days the Republic and the Jedi order would fall, but Anva and Naj were far too long gone to even pay any mind to it. For the next few years, the two would travel the galaxy together, making end’s meet as smugglers with a worn-out old quadjumper and a whole lot of luck. They’d spend most of their days working as smugglers, but they did take days off every once in a while to visit old Jedi friends (ones who weren’t dead yet, anyway) or, when they had some extra credits, go on modest little date nights. It wasn’t a glorious life, sure, but for all the things they didn’t have, they at least had each other.

Soon enough, though, they had someone else along for the ride. Three years after leaving the Order, Anva found that she was pregnant. Though she and Naj both agreed their lifestyle wasn’t ideal for a kid to grow up in, they decided that, like they had in the past, they’d just jump in head-first and hope for the best. Thus, in 16 BBY, Anva had the baby in the back of the quadjumper, with the help of a borrowed medical droid and Naj—they couldn’t exactly go to a hospital, what with them being fugitives and all. They’d decided earlier that, if it was a boy, Anva would get to name him Cerate, and if it was a girl, Naj would get to name her Stella, with the baby taking the last name of whomever won as well. Sure enough, he was a boy, so they decided on the name Cerate Aster Evis—funny enough, though, it wasn’t until he said the name out loud that Naj got the “eviscerate” pun. Anva figured that, if he was going to take her last name, he might as well have some kind of callback to his Nightbrother side.

So for the next four years, Anva and Naj would try their best to raise Cer while also juggling their job as smugglers, going so far as to keep him in the cockpit with them while they worked. Despite the less-than-ideal circumstances, Anva and Naj actually made great parents—they always made sure he had time with both of them, they never let work get in the way of raising him, and they protected him from anything and anyone that would try to harm him. They realized, though, that the last point would only get harder as he grew up; as early as a year old, Cer started showing signs of Force sensitivity. Anva and Naj both knew from their own lives how Force-sensitive children tend to get kidnapped, but nevertheless, they did everything they possibly could have to keep their son safe and hidden.

But it would only work for so long—soon enough, the Sith would find out about Cer. One day, Anva and Naj were contacted about what they thought was a lucrative job opportunity, and seeing as they were low on cash, they naturally took it. When they went to the meeting place their client had specified, though, they were met with something far worse: a hulking figure clad in black armor, wielding a lightsaber. It was an Inquisitor; Anva and Naj had heard about them from their still-living Jedi friends, but they’d never seen one in person. Anva’s first instinct was to reach for her own saber-pike—she’d still kept it retracted on her belt, after all these years—but she decided it would be better to wait before exposing her and Naj. The two silently agreed to play dumb, then, but when the Inquisitor spoke, their hearts sank. She wasn’t after them, she said—she wanted Cer.

When Anva and Naj protested, the Inquisitor ignited her saber and, rather than use it right away, demanded once more that they hand him over. She stepped toward the ship, but before she could get closer, Anva quickly pulled out her saber and sliced off the inquisitor’s outstretched hand in one fell swoop. With a stern voice masking blazing fury, Anva stated, “Stay the hell away from my family”. Yet what the Inquisitor did next replaced all of Anva’s fury with fear—from the stump on her arm, blue and purple tendrils shot out and grabbed the severed hand, pulling it back into place. The Inquisitor inspected the hand briefly, and as she did, Anva realized what she was. She was a Gen’Dai—an alien that, as far as she knew, could never be killed. She wouldn’t be able to win this fight. The best she could do is slow her down but, in the end, there was no way out of this.

Instantly, Anva pulled Naj back into the ship and shut the door. She knew it wouldn’t hold, but it was the best she could think of. All the commotion had woken up a then-sleeping Cer, and he and Naj both stared up at Anva with looks of confusion. Anva didn’t want to say what she had to but, with a heavy heart, she began. She told Naj he needed to run—he needed to take Cer, and find a safe place for him to stay. While he did, Anva would hold the Inquisitor off—fight her as long as she could, just to give Naj and Cer as much time as possible. Naj, of course, protested—he said they could escape together, that he could help Anva fight, but they both knew there was no other way. Finally, after a brief shouting-match-turned-fit-of-tears, Naj agreed. The two tried to maintain their composure for a second, but when Cer asked if everything was okay, they instantly lost it. Not knowing what else to do, Anva and Naj pulled Cer into one last big embrace, telling him that everything would be okay.

Finally, after working up her courage for a moment, Anva stepped out of the ship. She smiled back at Naj and Cer one last time before the door shut again, tears still staining her face. That was the last time Naj or Cer ever saw her alive. Quickly, Naj started the quadjumper’s engines, and he and Cer left the planet for...somewhere. Naj didn’t know where at first, but after some thought, he came up with an idea. He knew he couldn’t stay with Cer either, so he needed a secure place for him to stay—somewhere he could be protected, hidden, and hopefully, never told about the Force. He decided that the best possible place would be on Devaron, with his and Anva’s old Jedi friend, Hes Chaddic.

It was nighttime when Naj got to Devaron, and heavy rain was blanketing the Angel’s jungle hideout. With his son in hand, he knocked on the massive factory door and asked for Hes, who came to greet him only half-dressed and half-awake. As Naj explained his situation, though, Hes perked right up. He told her about the Inquisitor, about Anva’s sacrifice, everything—and he begged Hes to look after Cer. He made it out like it would only be for a few days while he waited to get out of the Inquisitor’s sight, but Hes wasn’t fooled. “Naj,” she said, “we both know you won’t be back”

“I know, Hes,” he replied, his heart in his throat, “That’s why I need you to take care of him.” At this, Hes realized the gravity of the situation. She knew she had no idea how to raise a kid but...she had to help her friend, too. Finally, she agreed. Naj thanked her, and with a final embrace and some reassuring words to his son, he said goodbye. It took him a full five minutes to get onto the ship again—for the longest time he just stood in the doorway, not moving as far as Hes or Cer could see. He was crying still. Finally, with some effort, he boarded the ship, closed the door, and flew off into the night. Cer’s little hand waved up to him, and with a deep sigh, Hes took him inside. Naj would never return.

#star wars #star wars oc #zabrak #Character Design #my art #my ocs #Anva Evis #Naj Kar #okay WOW that turned out long #but I think it turned out good #sad as fuck maybe #but I like it!#honestly?? I love these two so much #they're great #I wanna do more with them BUT they're super dead soooo #whoops #WHATEVS angst is fun stillll #maybe not for you guys but Definitely for me

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faithfulnews · 4 years

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New study: the majority (69%) of divorces are initiated by women

Is this “I’ll do what I want” attitude compatible with life-long married love?

This new report from Live Science gives us some numbers about who initiates divorces most frequently.

It says:

Women are more likely than men to initiate divorce in the United States, but they are no more likely than men to initiate breakups in a dating relationship, a new study finds.

“The breakups of nonmarital heterosexual relationships in the U.S. are quite gender-neutral and fairly egalitarian,” study author Michael Rosenfeld, an associate professor of sociology at Stanford University, said in a statement. “This was a surprise because the only prior research that had been done on who wanted the breakup was research on marital divorces.”

Previous research had found that women are more likely to initiate divorce, at least in the United States, Europe and Australia. In the new study, Rosenfeld compared divorces to nonmarital breakups, in an effort to understand the driving forces behind each type of breakup.

To investigate, he looked at data from the 2009 to 2015 waves of How Couples Meet and Stay Together, a nationally representative survey spearheaded by Rosenfeld and his colleagues. The new study includes 2,262 adults, ages 19 to 64, who reported having opposite-sex partners in 2009. By 2015, 371 of the participants had broken up or gotten divorced.

Women initiated 69 percent of the 92 divorces, Rosenfeld found. But there was no statistically significant difference between women and men when it came to nonmarital breakups, regardless of whether they were living together, he said.

The Ruth Institute reports on a few studies:

Female unions seem to have the highest divorce rates, followed by male unions, followed by opposite sex unions.

“For Sweden, the divorce risk for partnerships of men is 50% higher than the risk for heterosexual marriages, and that the divorce risk for female partnerships is nearly double that for men.”

“For Norway, divorce risks are 77% higher in lesbian partnerships than in those of gay men.” (The Norwegian data did not include a comparison with opposite sex couples.)

In California, the data is collected a little differently. The study looks at couples who describe themselves as partners, whether same sex or opposite sex. The study asks the question, how likely is it that these couples live in the same household five years later. Male couples were only 30% as likely, while female couples were less that 25% as likely, as heterosexual married couples, to be residing in the same household for five years.

It really seems as if there is something about women in particular that causes them to be unable to keep to commitments in their actions, despite what they might say with their words.

So I am seeing a couple of problems in young, unmarried women that might explain this.

Feminism is bad

First, there is the feminism. Feminism was the driving force behind no-fault divorce. Today, young unmarried women are being taught to view marriage as stifling to their freedom. So if they do get married, they are often resolved that marriage should not affect their freedom in any way. That is just not the way marriage works, though – both spouses need to be equally ready to have their freedom infringed upon by things that HAVE TO GET DONE. Lots of things that have to get done will not be fun, thrilling or amusing – and that’s why it’s good to be prepared to do them before you marry.

My friend Dina says that she only knows one happily married couple from among her friends. The most frequent case she sees is wife is working in order to pay for big house, two cars, etc. and wife is denying husband sex, which makes him disengage from the marriage. A working wife tends to not be as responsive to the needs of husband and kids as a non-working wife, probably in part due to work stress. There is an epidemic of sex-withholding by women, and it causes men to disengage from marriage because they feel unloved. Although women tend to rebel against the idea that the man’s bad behavior is their fault, and that there is a “contractual” nature to marriage, that is how marriage works. You cannot stay married, women, by just doing whatever you feel like, and NOT doing whatever you DON’T feel like. Men will disengage when their needs are not supplied, and that’s no fault of theirs. It’s your fault. Denying relationship obligations causes men to underperform.

Feminism is often linked closely to “independence”. There is a lot of confusion over what the word independence means among young, unmarried women. A man uses that word to mean “lack of financial dependence on parents, the state, etc. because of good decisions in education, career and finances”. But a woman means “not having to care about the needs of a man and the leadership of a man, or the needs of children while still getting what I want from men and children”. That attitude is not compatible with life-long married love.

Emotions are bad

Second, emotions. In my experience, young, unmarried women are less likely to have reasoned out their own life plan in a practical step-by-step manner. Instead, they tend to do whatever makes them feel good moment-by-moment without any realistic plan. One Christian woman was recently telling me how attracted she was to an atheist moral relativist who had been promiscuous from the age of 15. She explained that her emotions were kindled by his GQ looks, 6-pack abs, mysterious European accent, seductive manner and witty conversations. Although she is apparently a Christian, she doesn’t take Christianity seriously in her decisions about relationships and marriage.

Peer-approval and culture play a large part in determining what women think is attractive in a man, as well as their life goals, and women are driven by these cultural standards more than men who focus on honoring their commitments regardless of their emotions. In my experience, women struggle to make their day-to-day actions match their socially-acceptable goal of getting married “some day”. Marriage is for “some day” for today’s busy women, but fun and thrills is for today. “Live in the moment”, they often tell me. If you try to talk to them about roles and responsibilities in a marriage, they will withdraw and rebel. But marriage is about each spouse doing his or her job, and feeling content about what the couple is building together. You can’t make life-long married love from emotional craziness and pursuing fun and thrills with seductive promiscuous moral relativist atheists.

How to pick a woman who won’t divorce you

Young men, I advise you to choose wives who have had to do things that they did not feel like doing. That can involve things like getting a STEM degree, getting a job in STEM, moving out of her parents’ house, getting a “boring” job that helps her pay off her debts, keeping commitments when she doesn’t feel like it, and caring for other people and even animals.

Basically, the more the woman has ground down any narcissism and hedonism she may have, by having to do nasty calculus and horrid lab work, the better. The more accustomed she is to constraints, responsibilities, expectations and obligations, the less likely it is that she’ll divorce you for unhappiness. And all of this goes for men, as well. STEM degree, STEM job, save money, serve others, give to charity.

Marriage is not the time for people to be carried away by their emotions. It’s an enterprise, and it works when both people are rational, practical, hard-working and self-controlled.

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peerless-soshi · 7 years

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Intriguing DSP mysteries: Wadanohara and the great blue sea

Mogeko, aka Deep Sea Prisoner, has created a complex and extremely complicated universe, consisting of three games, three comics, two animations, one ice-thing and endless drawings or sketches. No wonder that in every new series we are able to find some major questions left unanswered as well as certain plot points that were not further explained. Considering the number of projects Mogeko is currently working on, it’s hard to judge if we are ever going to see continuations of all those stories, but we can always wish for them. For this reason I decided to waste some time, analyze all official series and in each of them (if I have patience) extract some most important and interesting questions, provided with my own theories and suppositions.

Let’s start with a story containing relatively little mysteries - top 5 questions about famous Wadanohara and the great blue sea.

1. Who is the Sea King?

During the game we find out that the Sea King was the ruler of the Blue Sea in times when Meikai was still alive. Little is known about him. In the game his image is never shown, in the manga we are able to see the shady silhouette. Mogeko drew the Sea King on few illustrations, revealing his face. When it comes to other information, we know that the Sea King was Uomi and Mikotsu’s father, King Artamos’ close friend, that he was the one who chose Uomi to be his successor and that he has fallen asleep.

Question number one is what actually happened to him, that strong and scary god figure? It’s safe to assume that he was not sick nor wounded as none of his people have ever mentioned it (and if something happened to the king, they would surely remember). The fact that earlier he had resolved the inheritance issue tells us that the Sea King was aware of the slumber awaiting him and tried to prepare for it. Maybe he was losing his strength, maybe it was some kind of a spell or curse? It’s also possible that he, himself, planned to leave to kingdom to see how his daughters would behave or because he didn’t want to be the king anymore. It’s also interesting how people in the Blue Sea believe that their god is sleeping but apparently they have no idea where he is? Did he fell asleep and then was hidden in a place where only Uomi can enter? Or did he leave his people, earlier informing that he is going to sleep for some time?

Tatsumiya’s story about the King consists of some unclear chronological points, and the most notable is the fact that first she says that the King fell asleep, then that he has chosen Uomi. Maybe he left them a message but admonished to open it when he sleeps? Or is it in his testament?

Question number two: what was his relationship with Uomi and Mikotsu? If we were to use generalities, we can say that the relationship between the daughters and the father was rather good. Uomi seems to faithfully follow the king’s orders when Mikotsu, after waking up, tries to find her father, then several times wonders why he didn’t love her. Both women deeply love their parent and Tatsumiya’s words suggest that he also cared about them. But why did Mikotsu feel abandoned? Is it possible that her father favored Uomi? Or maybe he favored Mikotsu and that’s why choosing Uomi as a queen made her jealous? I guess it’s also important to ask if the king truly loved his children or treated them as some objects necessary for him to leave the kingdom? It leads us to the last question, so:

Question number three: what kind of a person the Sea King was? The answers are varied. Tatsumiya talks about old times as about the era when everybody was happy and calm, suggesting that the king was a great ruler. Yet Uomi also points that the king was a cruel man. Personally, I think we have two possible theories, based on the good king and the bad king image.

Good king: the Sea King was generally a good person. All residents of the Blue Sea seem to respect him and Meikai, who in WatGBS played the role of a wise guide, follows him. It can mean that the Sea King was a righteous god. He loved his daughters, cared about his people and dreamed about the beautiful and blue sea. Knowing about his sleep, he planned to make Mikotsu the new queen. However, he noticed the signs of cruelty in his daughter. Slowly the king started to realize that Mikotsu is brilliant but also selfish and ruthless, finally understood that those traits would only deeper if she held power. The Sea King was perfectly aware that his daughter would feel betrayed but nonetheless broke the promise and gave the crown to Uomi. As he suspected, the conflict finally ended with the war. Uomi sees the king as someone cruel because he was ready to sacrifice a family member for his followers’ good and didn’t show any mercy to people who attack the kingdom to make sure that the sea is safe. That would make him a fearsome person but also a fair and good king.

Bad king: the other possibility is that Mogeko is going to use the same card they played in Curse of the Sun. Residents of the Blue Sea follow the king because they were taught so, they are not able to notice his flaws. He creates Mikotsu and Uomi simply because he needs them and later protects them as they are necessary in his plan. Mikotsu’s deep love for her father is similar to Ivlis’ feelings, as such can be considered to be blind loyalty changing into full emotional dependency. When she shows any signs of weakness, the cold king gets rid of her without blink of an eye. Finally Meikai realizes that the king is the reason for Princess’ madness, but it doesn’t change the fact that Mikotsu is a threat to people from the Blue Sea. He seals her hoping that Uomi would turn out to be a better person than her father.

2. How was the Red Sea created?

The explanation given to us by Mogeko is as vague as usual; the Red Sea was born the moment Mikotsu felt abandoned and unloved, then the madness somehow infected also her followers.

First we can wonder why Mikotsu even had such a big army? As I hinted in question one, it’s possible that Mikotsu was the lawful heir to the throne and people expected her to be their queen. When Uomi was chosen over her sister, some people felt it’s breaking the law and committing a grave mistake. We can also assume that Mikotsu was generally much more intelligent and talented than Uomi and people considered her to be the best choice, so when the Sea King informed everyone about giving his crown to Uomi, rebels obviously decided that it’s like taking away from them the strong and suitable queen and leading the kingdom in the direction of destruction. No matter which answer is true, for sure we can say one thing: the Red Sea follows Mikotsu because they believe in her and sincerely seem to want to serve her. Few characters - Old, Sal, Tsubari - mention how the Blue Sea was mistaken, what clearly suggests that the Red Sea wasn’t born just to start havoc but also because the residents share similar ideals.

The Red Sea means its people, but it’s also special power. What is exactly that red, all-seeing force that Mikotsu is using? It affects everything around her, too. Maybe it’s the sea magic that was hidden inside of her this whole time. If that’s the case, then that would mean the structure of power changes depending on its user’s feelings and the same spells can be used in a helpful and a destructive way. It would also explain why all Princess’ supporters can use similar abilities. As we can judge looking at Tatsumiya and Chlomaki, all beings are able to learn magic. The Red Sea residents were just using their natural potential. But there’s also a different explanation - maybe we should consider a third party joining the war. This element repeatedly comes back in The Gray Garden; all mysteries lead us to some mysterious figures observing the events from behind the curtain. What if something similar happened in Wadanohara, too? Then Mikotsu herself would be powerless if she compared with the Sea King and Uomi’s magic. Someone, a person who perfectly knew about the Princess’ potential, found her and offered some special powers that could easily dethrone Uomi. Mikotsu, back then devoid of hope, gladly accepted the offer, not noticing that she was being used. The potential antagonist could be after the Sea Kingdom, the King... or something totally different, something we have no clue about.

3. What happened to Sal?

The first two questions were much easier as in both cases we had at least some information. And honestly? We know almost nothing about Sal.

Let start with the facts - Sal is said to be the Ambassador of the Sea of Death, the Red Sea spy, one of Uomi’s servants (implicitly with a high position in the castle since he is close to the Princess), Samekichi’s brother and Old’s son.

Question number one: what is exactly the Ambassador of the Sea of Death? The most logical interpretation would be that Mikotsu took into consideration her possible lose and long before the whole Red Sea was sealed she made sure to leave a spy behind. It’s totally possible that Sal was chosen - but here comes another problem: the timeline. Wadanohara was confirmed to be born after the war. Considering that she and Samekichi are supposed to be close in age and Sal is Samekichi’s twin, the shark brothers either weren’t born too, were in eggs or back then were very little (I know once Mogeko said that Wadanohara is older than Samekichi but I’m not sure if it’s not just to get rid if people accusing them of pedophilia, so I add all possibilities). No matter what, Sal had to be chosen against his will as there’s little to none possibility that he remembers the war. What would make Mikotsu put all her hopes in an unborn child or even an infant? What was so special in him? The only eventual explanation is that she knew about Sal being Old’s son and decided that it’s safe to leave her will to the only descendants of the Red Sea who were staying outside. But Old’s character info says that nobody knows about his children and nobody obviously implies Mikotsu has no idea about Old’s special family situation. Maybe the Ambassador of the Sea of Death is not a specific person? We can wonder if Mikotsu left signs of power, evil will, a curse or something similar that would make someone obedient. It could be Fukami, Samekichi or even Wadanohara if she was less pure. It was a coincidence that Sal fulfilled all the conditions and finally got the title of the Ambassador.

No matter if Mikotsu planned to make Sal the Ambassador or if Sal joined the Red Sea later, the second question remains: how was the communication between the Blue Sea and the Red Sea even possible? Meikai’s spell was said to be extraordinarily powerful so most likely any scratches on the seal allowing to send messages to Sal are out of question. But as I said before, Sal probably doesn’t remember the war. He talks as if he was there, so he must get information from another source. Who told him about the Ambassador, the Red Sea etc.? - maybe Mikotsu had cast a curse and when Sal reached certain age he gained memories of the war? - maybe Mikotsu had left a book or other encrypted message and Sal was the one who found it? - if someone really gave Mikotsu her special powers, there’s a possibility that later the same person found Sal and made him continue the task after Mikotsu failed - another conspiracy theory is that Mikotsu’s followers stayed outside of the Red Sea, maybe even in another world, and contacted with Sal

Question number three: how did Sal’s life looked like? The game itself doesn’t give us many hints but some clues can be found in Mogeko’s other sketches. Once DSP draw Sal and Samekichi as children. The drawing with innocent kids suggests that not only they were growing up together, but also getting along well. What’s more, back then Sal’s eyes were blue, just like Samekichi’s. Both Wadanohara and Fukami’s eye colors changed when the Red Sea possessed them, so for sure we can say that Sal wasn’t born bad. Something - who knows what? - happened to him later. Another picture shows Samekichi and Sal in times when they were much older, perhaps as young teenagers. They are still together but turned backs from each other. Their faces show annoyance and Sal’s eyes are already red. The last picture is with brothers in clothes they were wearing in WatGBS. They don’t even look at each other, we can’t see their faces. Based on the drawings we can guess they Samekichi and Sal used to be quite close, then Sal found the Red Sea and slowly the darker power was taking over him. Once again, it’s possible that the drop of red was present in Sal since he was born. Some time passed and Sal fulfilled his destiny. In this case being the Ambassador of Death was his fate and Sal couldn’t fight it, even if as a child he was much better. Themes like unavoidable fate, crawling back to you even in those moments when you try to deny it, are present in TGG and Mogeko surely likes it. Probably Sal’s destiny was decided from the start. Another option is that Sal was a nice child but later negative feelings - like anger, jealousy, hater - have turned into something much worse and Sal, unlike Samekichi, didn’t try to fight with it. In this case being the Ambassador was a choice, not his fate. Maybe Sal’s backstory is similar to the story we saw in the Betrayal END? That ending once again proves the Red Sea finds all those who hide their negative feelings, strengthens hater and finally uses against others.

4. What is the Sacred Blade?

The game never asks this question directly, yet the sword appears to be a very mysterious artifact. We know that the blade holds extraordinary magical power - Sal first steals it to break the seal, then Samekichi uses it again to seal the Sea of Death.

The origins of the Holy Sword have been never made clear; the sword simply lies in the castle and the residents apparently take care of it. Giving its magical potential, it’s obvious that the sword is not an ordinary weapon. The designation ‘sacred’ suggests that the Sea King was the person who had created the sword to later leave it to the Princess as her heritage. If that’s true then should we consider it to be a godly blade? Is it similar to Eti’s diamonds or Siralos’ spears? The game never really specifies how long Wadanohara needed to heal after Sal’s attack but Tatsumiya claims that the wounds inflicted by the sacred sword aren’t easy to cure. Ivlis, a devil and a powerful being, still has scars after his fight with Siralos so it is rather possible that the sword was the Sea King’s creation. But if it’s really so powerful then why wasn’t the sword used by Uomi to defeat Mikotsu?

Maybe the sword’s purpose is not fighting. Maybe its properties are limited to sealing. Sure, Sal does attack Wadanohara but he didn’t try to use the sword for larger purposes. He broke the seal, however if the sword was some holy weapon he could as well use it to get rid of everyone in the Blue Sea. Instead, regular soldiers are send to fight with the Blue Sea residents. So maybe the sword’s power aren’t about fighting?

On the other hand, if the sword is really a sealing tool then why did Uomi need Meikai to seal Mikotsu? She could do it alone. It leads us to theory number two: maybe the sword was created by Meikai. That would explain why nobody tried to use the sword for fighting (or at least we don’t know about it), why Sal could break the spell with the sword and Samekichi could later renew the seal.

Theory time! As it was said before, possible the Blue Sea knew that one day the Ambassador of the Sea of Death would come. Take it as a prophecy, a legend or something similar. Meikai, suspecting that the Red Sea left a spy behind, either created the sword which he then left to Tatsumiya or created the special spell connected with the King’s sword. The spell was like a door and the sword was like a key. Even if the doors were to be open, people would still hold the key that helped them close the doors once again.

5. Who is Wadanohara’s mother?

And here we move to the last question for today, that is: who was exactly Wadanohara’s mother and Meikai’s wife/lover?

Families appear to be quite a complicated issue in Mogekoverse. Many characters simply do not have parents or any relatives, being created or left without a detailed backstory. For example, have you ever wondered what happened to Memoca and Dolphi’s parents? The girls are still children, in theory they should have some relatives, yet they are happily traveling through the world together with Wadanohara and never mention their parents, what clearly says that they have no one except of Wadanohara and Fukami. Similarly, DSP has never said a word about Samekichi and Sal’s mother. However, the Sea Witch does have mother who was mentioned in the game and this automatically makes her an interesting character.

Wadanohara’s mother was never mentioned during the main plot but her existence was confirmed in the Bonus Room. Meikai, leaving Wadanohara to Tatsumiya, says “I, the sea... She, the moon... We will always watch you”. The words may appear to be simple, but we can also read a lot between the lines. Firstly, we know that Wadanohara has or had a mother. It may sound obviously but in Mogeko’s works this fact is far from being a truism. Many characters happened to be created by gods and devils, were born from power, have only father. Meikai’s words proves that there was someone whom he loved and who, possibly, had lay the egg.

Another well-known hint: the moon. As it was pointed many times before, the full moon is an important element of WatGBS’s plot. It comes back over and over again; Wadanohara notices that watching the sea and the moon makes her calm, Samekichi confesses in the moonlight, after the Red Sea has awaken Sal laughs that the moon is no longer Wadanohara’s friend. Tatsumiya compares Wadanohara’s egg to the moon and the pearl holding Meikai’s soul was said to remind the underwater moon. Those two elements - the moon, the sea - are the foundation of all Wadanohara’s powers. The mysterious mother may be connected with the moon powers due to its association with an ocean. Because of the phenomenons such as the moon phases affecting the sea tides, the lunar motives are extremely common addiction to the aqua motives, and in collective consciousness the sea and the moon are almost always linked, completing each other, walking hand in hand.

Considering that Wadanohara’s mother was said to be the moon, she most likely wielded some lunar power. Theory number one: she is a Moon Witch, or even the Great Moon Witch. It would explain how Meikai met her and why Wadanohara later grew up to be such a powerful mage. However, thanks to Minami we know that even if only one parent is a witch/sorcerer and the other parent didn’t study magic, a child can still be a mage. So Wadanohara’s mother may not necessary be a resident of the Witches World. Maybe she was a deity or a goodness? We can consider how gods’ powers usually focus on one element, to mention Etihw’s diamonds/white creation magic, Siralos’ sun powers, Liliya’s flowers. Is it possible that the women whom Meikai loved was a god? Maybe. There is a popular Japanese legend about a princess living on the moon, named Kaguya, who can be partly an inspiration for Wadanohara’s mother figure. Even if she wouldn’t be a god sensu stricto, she would still have a holy position. If we talk about legends, I’m going to remind another popular theory. Some fans believe that Wadanohara’s mother was born in the Tosatsu Kingdom, as a proof seeing the Japanese story about a rabbit making rice cookies on the moon. King Artamos and the Sea King were close friends, so before the Blue Sea King fell asleep both kingdoms probably had quite friendly policy. If Wadanohara’s mother lived on Artamos’ court, Meiaki could very easily meet her. However, the bunny land doesn’t seem to be connected with the moon in any way. Some also mentioned that The reminiscence of a star could be Meikai’s love. But she is a star, not the moon, and doesn’t seem to know Meikai.

The last interesting fact about Meikai’s farewell is hidden in the context of his words. Let me remind you - first he says that he would like to protect Wadanohara and watch her growing, yet he won’t be able to give it to her. Then he says that both, he and some mysterious ‘her’, would always watch Wadanohara. The way Meikai expresses his wish makes me believe that it’s the second time when a parent cannot take care of Wadanohara, that her mother earlier had to give up on daughter. Of course, the first association is simple - Wadanohara’s mother is dead. She could die in childbirth or shortly after the egg appeared. Thanks to that theory we could answer some questions, like why has the mother never searched for contact with Wadda and why - most likely - the daughter hasn’t even met her. Another fact in favor of this theory is that Meikai says his final words shortly before he “dies”, so now he is going to watch Wadanohara just like her mother does - from above. But there is one more thing to be added. I mentioned that Wadanohara’s mother could be a goddess. Notice how gods never have families. They do not seem to live in romantic relationships (for now the only exception is Etihw) or have children (here we must note Siralos, but his “children” were simply the expansion of his power. Siralos doesn’t even refer to Ivlis and Igls as his offspring, instead saying they are his slaves). But it’s not the end! Not only gods live without family, also all holy beings don’t seem to have families. Some angels have siblings, like Igls or Chlomaki, but it’s probably a synonym for being created together. Demons often have big, multi-generational family but we have never heard about married angels. If some live in relationships, like Taffy and Olive, it’s most likely not official. The last thing is that angels hardly ever have kids. The only deviations from a rule for now are the tenmas, who were fruits of forbidden affairs. Let’s assume that in Mogekoverse all residents of different heavens must live in celibacy. It wouldn’t be surprising, considering how in most religions any kind of priests and priestess usually swear purity. Now, as in real life, not everyone follow the rules. From gods to angels, all have hearts torn by feelings, all love and often have affairs. However, it stays more or less secret - that is, even if all knows, still the relationship can’t be too official nor open (I will leave my Eticalb theory as it is not relevant now). We can assume another thing - Wadanohara’s mother was some kind of a deity. She met Meikai and fell in love with him. As long as the were seeing each other in secret, nobody really cared. However, soon Wadanohara was born. It was the open violation of rules and Meikai’s lover could be punished. The most rational decision was painful, yet Meikai decided to take the little egg and never let anyone know who Wadanohara’s mother is. There’s an element making this theory a little more possibly, namely Meikai, saying goodbyes to Wadanohara, doesn’t really die. He knows that he will be able to watch her, even if Wadanohara doesn’t hear his words. It would be a reason why in that monet he mentions his lover, being alive and forbidden to ever see Wadanohara.

Will we ever hear any answers? Will any of the theories come to be true? Of course we can’t say much as we don’t have enough facts to either confirm or destroy any possible idea. However, it doesn’t stop us from having fun!

Part two - someday, somewhere.

#wadanohara and the great blue sea #watgbs #mogeko #funamusea #my analysis #kinda

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cupidsbower · 7 years

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I'm still living the life where you get home and open the fridge and there's half a pot of yogurt and a half a can of flat Coca-Cola. ~Alan Rickman

Supernatural 12x08 LOTUS, and 12x09 First Blood.

Okay, I’m just gonna be right up front with this -- I’m not a huge fan of either of these episodes. I thought maybe the slight feeling of meh I felt for 12x08 was just end-of-year tiredness, so I held off on the review and had a holiday. But I found 12x08 similarly meh, and also sexist and racist which needless to say I’m not keen on.

LOTUS

I thought having Lucifer possess the President was a fantastic concept, and I loved all the scenes with Lucifer acting that part -- they had some lovely resonances with current US politics that didn’t come over as trying to hard. I loved the nephilim plotline too, and look forward to seeing where it goes. Typical that a man-shaped being should take credit for creating life -- I laughed a lot at Lucifer’s hubris on that. He didn’t fall far from the tree, so to speak. That whole attitude fits in well with the gender themes that have been developing since Amara’s return. It also reaffirms my suspicions that Toni’s child is not-quite-human, and I hope that plot thread is picked up again soon too.

I was less thrilled with the stock-standard, “I can’t abort my baby,” thingo. I really wish an American show would go somewhere new with that and actually consider the option of abortion with some seriousness that doesn’t automatically default to it being unthinkable, even if the choice is then made not to. The default of “I can’t” is just so useless as a storytelling device. Why bother to have a nephilim plot and not actually wring all the drama out of it? (I know why, I’m just tired of it.) Anyway, this plot still has potential to rise above that moment of church-sanctioned sexism, so I’m in wait-and-see mode.

I also really liked the potential of the Winchesters ending up in government hands, given their history and the records that must still exist. But more on that when I get to First Blood.

There wasn’t much else I really liked. I suspect we’re seeing the consequences of so many new writers on the show this season, combined with Supernatural’s comparatively small budget. But the final act of the episode just felt off to me in subtle ways -- the action felt lackluster, there were too few agents checking things out, I didn’t buy the convenient timing of the arrest, or the splitting up of the team when it wasn’t really required. Little things in themselves, but they all added up -- a stronger writer could have masked them better. Meh. It had potential to be good, but it was just a bit wishy-washy instead.

First Blood

I will admit, I was pretty damn excited by this episode’s title. There’s so much media and political history associated with the Rambo movies, and so many ways they could have been invoked in the episode to excellent effect.

For a start, the very first film, First Blood itself, is about post-traumatic stress disorder in a combat vet, social isolation and poverty as a result of that, persecution at the hands of biased and totalitarian authorities, and the toll of toxic masculinity. It’s rich stuff, and a surprisingly good film all things considered. There’s a reason it spawned big-budget sequels, and the character of Rambo was co-opted in the Reagan era as a kind of masculine fantasy ideal.

There’s a strong resonance between all these things and the ongoing themes in Supernatural. Hence my excitement.

Sadly, though, the allusions to First Blood stayed at a pretty superficial level. Yes, we had persecution at the hands of totalitarian authorities, and we had Sam and Dean taking out a squad of soldiers in a forest. But... ugh, I don’t even really know where to start.

Okay, lets start with the taking soliders out thing. It’s meant to show us that Sam and Dean are actually hardened soldiers too, who have been fighting in a war since their twenties, and against opponents who hit far harder than any human soldier. Not only that, they have consistently won despite the odds being against them. It was on point that Crowley reminded us that he’s the only villain who has ever taken them seriously, and that everyone who doesn’t ends up dust. The Winchesters are scary, and the version we viewers see is the “fluffy” insider perspective, so it’s easy to forget just how hard-core they are.

It really isn’t out of the realms of possibility for Sam and Dean to take out a squad of special ops agents, and even to do it without actively trying to kill any of them, and for them to be chillingly efficient as they go about it. But as with the last episode, these agents came across more as Keystone Cops than what they are meant to be -- the cream of America’s secret ops working directly for the President. Are Sam and Dean hardened soldiers who can take on demons and angels and punch well above their weight, and so are far more competent than special ops agents once their paths do cross? Or are they just lucky to be fighting poorly trained also-rans? Mixed messages, show, very mixed messages.

I think I was so frustrated by this, because the episode didn’t start off quite so obviously making the agents ridiculous -- the “sit and stew in isolation” thing was genuinely solid, and made me wonder how long before the Winchesters cracked. So to fritter that tension away on a pretty ordinary action scene just felt unsatisfying. I was expecting something a bit closer -- uncomfortably so -- to Dean’s action sequences in Purgatory. That would have really rammed the message home that the Winchesters are serious business.

But that’s actually small potatoes as gripes go -- some writers just aren’t that great at action. It happens.

My biggest gripe for this episode came at the end. It was obvious from early on that Sam and Dean had made a deal. Okay, fine. I could have gone with that as an interesting complication. I was even interested to see the escalation of Mary throwing her hat in the ring of Winchester-self-sacrifice. We’ve all been expecting developments along those lines, so some foreshadowing here for a greater test later on was expected.

Mind you, I would have been super-astoundingly angry if they had fridged Mary again in this episode -- frothing at the mouth angry -- giving up the show angry. Her place in the myth-arc is too central to end her return in such a light-weight way. I’d honestly prefer if they never fridge her again, but at the very least, she deserves an actualised death that’s about her, and not her sons.

Like I say, I could have been interested in this set-up -- the complication of another deal, made in full knowledge of the price, and Mary showing us that Winchester self-sacrificial streak that has caused so much harm. But instead I’m just disappointed and cross. What the fuckety fuck are the writers thinking with this whole Billie and Castiel bullshit?

Let’s consider the best possible light first. Sam had his demon-blood arc, and Dean had his Mark of Cain arc, and a lot has been made of Castiel being a Winchester, so yes, alright. I guess. His previous dark-side path was made for the right reasons, as Raphael was about the re-start the apocalypse, and the Leviathan thing wasn’t really an active choice on his part. So there’s an argument to be made that Billie’ death is Castiel’s first blood, as it’s a murder for personal gain, instead of being the best of a bad lot of choices. In the best possible light, this is the first step of Castiel’s demon arc, and within the show we’ve learned that kind of path can really only be stopped and redeemed by love. It’s also an escalation of the plotline about Castiel’s post-traumatic stress disorder and isolation, which I’ve been waiting for. The show has never really dealt with the fact that angels run on faith, and Castiel is an angel who has not only rebelled against Heaven for Humanity, but has lost faith in his father. I’m as keen as the next person to see it acknowledged that he has an unhealthy dependence on his faith in Dean as a result. There are potentially good things being set up by this development, if it means we’re going to delve more into Castiel as a character.

But! But. But but butbutbut...

It felt like a cheat. Tell me it didn’t. You can’t right? It felt like the writer had written themselves into a corner and decided shock value was the best way out of it. I know, they thought to themselves, I’ll have Castiel murder someone because he’s feeling unloved! I bet they sniggered, deus ex machina, as they wrote the stabbing.

Ugh. I hate that kind of writing.

And if it were any other secondary character but Billie I might still be okay with it. But it was Billie, so I’m not. Billie offered the Winchesters a straight-up deal that they asked for. It’s been pretty clearly established ever since she was introduced that she’s a neutral supernatural force -- not someone like Zachariah who played fast and loose with the rules, or a demon like Ruby with her own covert agenda. Yes, her bailiwick is death, and that’s intrinsically scary, and she made no secret of being irritated by the Winchesters cheating it, either. But she was a straight-dealer despite that. SHE DID NOT DESERVE TO BE STABBED IN THE BACK.

Which isn’t even getting into the fact that she was a recurring black woman character. Killing her in such a way was just as shitty as Charlie’s death, and for many of the same kinds of reasons.

Even if they revive her (they fucking better) and bring her back pissed off and an antagonist, it won’t really make up for yet another black woman being killed off for plot convenience. Ugh.

UGH.

I’m also not really all that keen on this as a path for Castiel, despite my best-case reading above. It just feels like more of the same-old, instead of finding a new story to tell. :(

In short, I haven’t yet hit my NOPE limit with this move, but the show has some brownie points to earn in the next few eps in order to keep my interest. It’s officially on notice.

Not fridging any more women or other minorities would be a fucking good start.

Previously:

The Ministry of Information vs Wayward Sons Carrying On (12x01)

My, my, how can I resist you? (12x02) and follow-up about Bohemian Raphsody

So what am I so afraid of? (I think I love you) (12x03)

I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy Down in my heart (Where?) (12x04) and a follow-up about the codependency and about Dean’s self-flagellation and issues with space

There can be only one! (12x05), and a follow-up conversation with elizabethrobertajones on Freud vs Schwartz.

They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes (12x06)

Presenting the Immaculate Heart Reunion Tour (12x07)

#supernatural #season 12 #spoilers #meta #racism #misogyny #fridging #castiel #billie #dean winchester #sam winchester #mary winchester #lucifer #sexism

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