#anyway none of this is to say i want him cancelled or to never make another buck off writing or whatever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghost-with-a-teacup · 11 months

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𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 (𝐈𝐈)

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader

Summary: After you reveal the truth of what your relationship really was between you and Miguel, everyone's keen on learning more. So what better way to give a little more insight than a dinner at your shared home?

Warnings: None~ Just back again with silly shenanigans and the softest of fluff :3

A/N: Hello, everyone! After the first part of 'What's In Between' blew up (you can read it here, thank you so much by the way, you're all so sweet), many people have asked for a part two, so here it is! Enjoy <3

The moment you break the news to them, the volume of the table booms to a fever pitch as everyone begins talking at the same time.

“W-WHAT?!”

“Married? No way,” Hobie says.

“How long have you been together?” Pavitr asks.

“I can’t say I saw this coming…” Miles says, eyes widening in surprise.

Miguel had been watching you the moment you snuck up on the group, but with the newfound panic from everyone he couldn’t help but make his way over to the commotion.

“You’re all being loud, what are you yelling about now?” Miguel asks, walking over and standing by your side.

“HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL US YOU WERE MARRIED?!” Gwen shouts.

“You never asked,” he blinks, “and also, it’s none of your business.”

“Miguel, as your best friend I am deeply offended that you haven’t told me after this long, does our friendship mean nothing to you?” Peter says, hand on his chest in pretend hurt.

“You are not my best friend,” Miguel deadpans.

“After I opened up to you no less, I mean, you were the first person I told about Mayday! All the details-” he continues, ignoring the comment.

“Not by choice,” he mutters.

“Does no one know about this?? At all???” Pavitr asks, “I mean, you two are married.”

“I mean, Jess knows about it,” you gesture, and she only grins.

“And now all of you do too,” Miguel sighs. “Vida mía, I thought we talked about this,” he admonishes.

“Oh, c’mon, it was cute how they were all trying to figure it out for so long. I was starting to feel bad,” you say, smoothing your hair back. He only stares at you for a moment before sighing.

“Fine,” he relents, “Can’t do anything about it now anyway.” He smiles softly at you, and the group watches in awe as their cold leader softens in your presence, but his gaze quickly grows dark as he turns back to the group.

“One word of this to anyone outside of this group,” he says with a pointed finger before trailing off, allowing everyone to fill in the blanks as to what he might do.

Everyone’s faces pale like a sheet at the unnamed threat (well, except for Hobie, he only watches with blatant amusement on his face), but you only laugh.

“Miguel, don’t threaten the kids,” you giggle. “Don’t worry, he’s all bark and no bite,” you whisper to them with a wink.

“Hey, that’s what I say!” Peter says.

“You are his best friend after all,” you grin.

“I have never said those words a day in my life,” he scoffs, but you ignore him, eyes lighting up with an idea.

“Oh! I have a lovely idea, how about you all swing by our place for dinner later? We never have guests,” you suggest.

Gwen gasps, “Really?”

“This…maybe doesn’t seem like the best idea,” Miles says as he shrinks down in his seat at Miguel’s glare towards you.

“I have plans tonight…though I don’t think they’d mind if I cancel,” Hobie says nonchalantly, but everyone knew there was no way in hell he’d miss something like this.

“What am I, cat litter?” Jess asks. She was the only person to have been at your shared home, having joined around the same time as you, and being one of the few people Miguel fully trusts.

“You know it's not like that, Jess,” you turn to her with a grin.

“Absolutely not, it's already a liability that they know querida, now you want them traipsing into our home?” Miguel argues, and you narrow your eyes at him, never one to back down from a fight. While it got on his nerves, it's what he loved about you too. He needed someone that wouldn’t take his shit.

“Miguel,” you say, giving him a look. “All our enemies are literally in alternate universes who, aside from those small tears, have no way to go cross-dimensional, let alone find us in the expanse of a universe. Besides, I think it would be nice,” you say, and Mayday seems to agree since she climbs right up into your arms, babbling happily.

“And don’t think I don’t know you have a soft spot for this lil ragtag team,” you smile, bouncing up and down as Mayday laughs.

He huffs, “I am anything but soft, especially for them. They never listen, don’t follow protocol, are immature, and the list goes on.”

“He’s lying,” you whisper, covering your mouth from his direction as though that would stop him from happening. Mayday grabs your hand though, playing with your fingers happily. “See how his ears are turning red?”

At that, his ears turn more red and the group tries to stifle their snickers to no avail.

“Querida,” he warns. “Do you feel the need to share anything else about me? Or have you had enough,” he asks, poking your shoulder. You place a hand on his bicep with a gentle smile, and his expression softens much to his dismay.

“Honey, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you grin. “Alright, it’s settled then! You’re all coming over tonight.”

You hummed softly to yourself as you moved around the kitchen, preparing the food for dinnertime when everyone would be coming over.

Then, you feel the hair rise on the back of your neck as a familiar presence makes himself known, strong arms wrapping around your waist as his head rests on top of yours.

“Vida mía, the food smells good,” he says softly before sighing. “But I’m not very happy with you today.”

You let out a sigh of your own as you turn off the stove before turning around in his arms to face him.

“Miguel, my love,” you say, smoothing out the collar of the pullover he wore before looking up at him. “I know you well, don’t I?”

“More than anyone,” he says, the corner of his mouth lifting the tiniest amount as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Then it’s safe to assume that you’ve been wanting to hang out with more people in the Society apart from work-related things?” you ask, placing your hand on his chest.

“I can’t afford anything like that in this line of work, you know that querida,” he sighs, that familiar hardened look in his eyes for a moment.

“Miguel, your only friends can’t be me, Lyla and Jess,” you pout.

“Vida mía, you are my wife,” he says.

“Yes, and it's miracle enough that I was able to grow close enough to you to get to that point,” you chuckle, “so my existence in your life is proof itself that you are capable of growing close to people. I’ve seen you, I think you’re ready and deep down I know you don’t always want to be perceived as the cold and unfeeling leader of the Society. Why not start with them?”

“That’s not a decision for you to make,” he says, glancing away from you.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” you apologize, feeling a bit guilty that you threw Miguel into this without warning. “I should have spoken to you about it first but who knows. Maybe this is a good thing, opening your heart a little more,” you explain. “Don’t think I realize you’re the hardest on them because you believe in them,” you smile.

He huffs before pausing to think for a moment. “Sometimes I wonder when you snuck your little way into my head, querida.”

“Admit it, you’re growing soft,” you giggle softly.

“Never,” he counters, tickling your side which makes you scrunch up your face as you laugh breathlessly.

“OKAY! Okay, you’re one soft fluffy teddy bear, happy?” you say which only makes him continue with even more fervour.

“That is the most ridiculous thing I think I have ever heard you say, querida,” he snorts but finally relents.

“Yeah….I can’t even say that with a serious face,” you chuckle. “But you do have your moments, tough guy,” you smile, leaning up on your tippy toes to press a kiss to his lips.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he rolls his eyes. That’s when the doorbell rings, and immediately your eyes light up.

“Oh! They’re here!!” you say excitedly, escaping from his grasp as you move to open up the door.

“Here we go,” he murmurs to himself, and you turn to face him.

“What was that?” you ask.

“Nothing, vida mía,” he replies, and you narrow your eyes in disbelief.

“Behave, Miguel,” you tell him.

“Wouldn’t dream of anything else,” he replies, and you grin before opening up the front door.

There, you find Miles, Gwen, Pavitr, Peter (alongside Mayday of course), Hobie and Jess all standing outside, chatting amongst themselves before turning to you.

Miles almost looks like he’s in disbelief like he couldn’t really believe this was your home quite yet.

“Hi!” Gwen starts.

“Took you lot long enough,” Hobie says. “Was starting to think we'd have to build a fire and cook it ourselves.” Gwen punches his shoulder, to which he lets out a little “Ow!”

“Sorry about him,” Gwen apologizes.

You just find yourself laughing at it all though.

“No apologies needed, we were a little preoccupied. Come on in, make yourself at home,” you say, opening the door a little wider for them to make their way through.

“Not too at home though,” you hear Miguel say, leaning into the foyer from the living room, arms crossed over his chest.

“Ignore him,” you say, giving him a pointed look to which he just stares at you blankly. “Dinner will be ready soon, I just have to set the table and we can eat, alright?”

“It smells delicious,” Pavitr says, “I’m starving.”

Mayday seems to agree as she crawls up from the baby carrier onto Peter’s head, making grabby hands from the top.

“Someone’s hungry,” Peter chuckles. “Got anything she can eat?”

“I have a few things, don’t worry,” you smile.

“It really does smell really good though, but it always does,” Jess adds.

“It’s nothing special,” you say sheepishly. “Just some of Miguel’s favourites.”

You guide them all into the living room. “Settle in! I’ll be done in a snap,” you say.

As you make your way back to the kitchen (with Jess joining you to help out), back in the living room the squad of spiders settle in almost hesitantly, a watchful eye monitoring all of their reactions.

No one dares say anything, only sitting around nervously.

“So…nice weather we’re having,” Peter says, trying to lighten the mood but even Mayday gives him a deadpanned expression.

Miguel sighs. “You’re all acting like there’s a ticking time bomb waiting for you to speak before setting off,” he says, still leaning up against the doorway.

“We don’t know, mate. Is there?” Hobie jokes, but Miles’ face drops anyway.

“There isn’t, for the record. I can be harsh but I’m not evil,” Miguel scoffs before making eye contact with Pavitr who looks like he wanted to ask something but was holding back.

“One question,” he says simply with a nod.

“How long have you two been together?”

“…a little over 4 years now,” he replies.

“How did you meet?” Gwen asks.

“I said one question,” he says before your voice cuts in.

“My universe was one of the first he visited! He hated me back then, though,” you laugh as you walk back in. “Speaking of which!! I have some things you might all want to see after dinner,” you grin mischievously.

“I thought you said I was the one that had to behave, mi corazón,” Miguel says, a warning tone in his voice.

“And I am, aren’t I?” you say, poking his side playfully. “Anyway, dinner’s ready,” you say, leading them to the dining room. “I know it's not much but-”

“How in the hell is this not much??” Hobie exclaims, and you just shrug. “You should see dinner with my family, then you will think that it’s not much,” you say with a chuckle.

On the table sat a wide expanse of food, all of Miguel’s favourites from Mexico. Empanadas as the appetizer, alongside pozole, ceviche, enchiladas, and chicken with mole poblano all served with a side of rice, beans, or homemade corn tortillas depending on each person’s preference.

You can see Miguel’s eyes visibly brighten as he looks at the food, settling in at the head of the table with you by his side.

“Come eat!” As you say that, everyone sits down before beginning to eat, everyone heading straight to what appealed to them the most.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted,” Miles says, eyes closed in bliss.

“Oye, don’t let your Mother hear that, kid,” Miguel says, but the corner of his lip was upturned in the tiniest of smiles. The most he would allow himself around this many people.

“Thank you, Miles,” you smile.

“This, uhh, how do you say it again? Poh-zuhl?” Gwen asks, and you laugh out loud as she turns pink, meanwhile both Miguel and Miles cringe slightly.

“I’m sorry for laughing, sweetheart. You’re almost there; it’s pronounced like ‘poh-zoh-lay’,” you say kindly.

“Ohh, okay gotcha. Pozole. It’s really good! Feels…comforting, almost,” she says.

“Yes,” you say, glancing at your husband with a soft smile, “it’s Miguel’s favourite. Says it ‘tastes like home’.” A chorus of ‘awws’ go around the table, while Miguel only holds the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

“Alright, alright. Enough with the cheesy stuff, let’s get back to eating, yeah?” Hobie says before shoving his fork back into his mouth.

Once dinner was finished (and after both Miles and Gwen insisted that they did the dishes despite much argument from you), everyone was settled again in the living room laughing and talking together, and while Miguel only said a few things here and there and sat by your side like a lost puppy, he did seem to be enjoying himself.

“Alright! Now, before everyone goes back home, I have one more thing I’d like to show you,” you say once it quiets down a bit. Standing up, you make your way over to a large bookshelf you and Miguel had built together when you first moved in together.

“I’ve gotten tired of having only myself to show these photos to, so this is the perfect opportunity,” you smile.

“Querida-” Miguel says, holding out a hand to block your way but you look at him with pleading eyes, and he can’t do anything but relent. He couldn’t say no when you looked at him like that.

With a triumphant ‘haha!’ you grab a photo album labelled with a date and a single word; ‘Ours’.

Everyone crowds around as you place it down on the coffee table, and you open it up to the first page.

Gwen is the one that gasps first, eyes wide with awe.

“You both look so beautiful,” she says softly.

There, front and centre was a photo of you and Miguel on your wedding day. You were smiling wide at the camera, a bouquet of your favourite flowers in hand while Miguel only looked at you with an expression so in awe it was as though you painted the stars in the sky.

“You clean up nicely, big man,” Hobie comments, and Pavitr nods.

“Weddings, my favourite,” Jess says, a fond expression on her face as she thinks back to her own husband.

“I had a bird fly into my face at my wedding…but they are nice,” Peter says, rocking Mayday gently as she naps away after the hearty dinner even despite the commotion.

You continue to flip through the photobook, pausing periodically for a little anecdote about each one. Miguel had long stood up to make room for everyone else, but he looked at you in the same way he did on your wedding day.

Like you were the light of his life, the one good thing he had amongst the millions of universes parallel to his own. Like you were his everything.

“Admit it, you like them,” you smile, the house finally quiet after everyone headed home. He only rolls his eyes before pulling you into his lap, his face going into the crook of your neck as he holds you close.

“There is a big difference between ‘liking’ and ‘tolerating’, sweetheart,” he says, rubbing circles into your hip soothingly.

“Yeah, yeah, tough guy. Whatever you say,” you reply, wrapping your arms around his neck and settling into his touch with a happy sigh.

You both sit there for a moment in silence, the two of you weren’t ones to fill silence with mindless chatter. If words needn’t be said then they weren’t.

“That was…nice, though,” he admits softly after a little while.

“I know,” you whisper.

“That won’t happen again for a long while though,” he says, pulling away to look at you, crimson eyes pleading with you wordlessly.

You can’t do anything but laugh.

Taglist (for those who requested a part two): @lotustv @mars-ifuknowmeirlplsgoaway @elliewilliamsactualgf @randomhumans-blog @iluvkonig @phillygraves @gothgirlziez

#miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o hara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spider verse spoilers #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 #spiderman #marvel

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morallygreyyn · 5 months

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Can i pls get some clingy ass illumi x reader who hasn’t seen them in days because of his missions?

Have a nice day!! Make sure to drink water💓

miss me? (illumi zoldyck x reader)

description: illumi has been gone for a week and when he returns, he seems slightly off. it didn't take you long to realise that he wanted attention, namely yours...

authors note: another super old ask but i love this one with all my heart and soul. illumi? stunning. clingy illumi? immaculate. seriously there is nothing i love more than illumi so this is how i think he would be when he's clingy and wants attention! have a lovely day anon and i really hope you drink lots of water! (seriously i've just found out how important this is so pls everyone drink lots of water to flush out that bacteria) 💗

warnings: none

word count: 1.1k

requests are open! please read my rules!

You hadn’t seen Illumi Zoldyck for the better part of a week. While you were used to the assassin leaving often for work, usually you were in a position to follow him. This time, however, was one of the rare occasions where you had to stay home at your apartment, all for that blasted electrician who kept cancelling on you. If he called you one more time to cancel, while you stayed home when you could have followed your boyfriend to a sunny location that you would have treated like a holiday, you swore you would hire the Zoldyck yourself to track him down.

As though he had heard your silent threat, the electrician came and went, and your kitchen appliances were once again fully operational. Happy that you could finally restock the fridge, you left to get groceries. You couldn’t admit this out loud, but your apartment often felt too empty without the assassin occupying it too. While he didn’t own the space where you lived, he stayed there often enough that he may as well share it with you.

It had surprised you when you brought up the offer of living together and he didn’t reject the idea immediately. Illumi actually seemed contemplative, as though it was almost a pleasant thought. That was what you assumed anyway, you could never truly tell what he was thinking most of the time.

By the time you returned home, you knew something was different immediately. For one, you were certain that you had locked the door. Cautiously stepping into the apartment, you coiled and prepared to strike whatever or whoever was lurking. Despite not being an assassin, you were still a qualified Hunter, and those licences did not come easy.

It turns out that you needn't have bothered as, when you approached the living area, Illumi was sitting calmly at your kitchen island watching you.

“Oh, Illumi!” Setting down your bags, you ran to him, throwing your arms around your boyfriend as you held him tightly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?”

“No signal.” He said simply as he let you hug him, hands gingerly settling around you. You had to fight tooth and nail for him to learn how to hug properly, and even now he still hadn’t quite managed to perfect the act. Despite this, he still tried, and that was good enough for you.

Pulling away, you looked at him with a smile. “How was it?”

He shrugged, a clear sign he was disinterested in the topic. “Simple.”

Nodding, you stepped back to put the groceries away, not wanting them to rot on the floor. Illumi sat back down, fathomless eyes locked on you while you completed the task you had set for yourself. You liked to think that you knew the Zoldyck rather well, and that included when something was bothering him.

Turning around, you raised an eyebrow as you met his gaze. “What?”

“What?”

“You’re staring at me.”

“Why are you pointing that out?”

“Because I’m wondering why.”

“I stare at you a lot.” He stated, tone very matter of factly.

“I know, but now it seems different.”

“It isn’t.”

“If you say so, darling.” You rolled your eyes and finished putting the food away. Once you had, you turned to face your boyfriend once more, looking for an explanation.

“You forgot something.” Illumi said, and while his voice was the usual light and expressionless one, his eyes still bore into yours.

Looking around, you couldn’t see anything out of place, and you had certainly left nothing on the counters. “What did I forget?”

Illumi didn’t answer, only continued to look at you expectedly. Now you were really confused, and slightly unnerved by his odd behaviour. Illumi rarely acted like this.

With no answer to give you clarity, you grinned in feigned annoyance, kissed his cheek and whispered you were happy to have him back before you left to head into the room you used as an at home office.

Sitting down at your desk and opening your files, you stared blankly at the screen while you mentally observed Illumi’s behaviour. There was something amiss, and you couldn’t put your finger on what. He wasn’t usually the expressive one; well, he was never the expressive one. All physical, verbal, and emotional affection fell on your shoulders to deliver. While this may seem one sided to most, you didn’t mind as you knew Illumi was not able to express much by way of love. Despite this, you knew he loved you, in his own way. He had threatened to kill the electrician for you when you complained about the situation to him, and that spoke millions. Not only that, but he also allowed you to be as affectionate as you are with him, and he accepted it whereas anyone else wouldn’t have a chance in hell of even approaching him, let alone the things you did together.

What was bothering him?

Just then, you saw a shadow move in your peripheral vision, and your heart dropped to your ass. “Fucking hell, Illumi! At least knock!”

He ignored your outburst. “What are you doing?”

“Working.” You said as you willed your heart to calm down.

“Oh.” Illumi stayed standing behind you, hovering ominously.

Then it clicked, Illumi was being clingy. This was how he acted when he wanted attention. Unable to control yourself, you laughed loudly at the realisation.

“What?” He asked, watching you stand from your seat to face him.

Your smile was incredibly smug as you approached, wrapping your hands around his waist. “Did somebody miss me?”

Naturally, he didn’t respond and it might’ve been your imagination, but he seemed to relax under your touch.

“I think I know what I’ve forgotten.” You captured your lips with his own, smiling as you did so. It was moments like this that made you realise that Illumi did in fact love you, and that he was quite attached to you. Even if he didn’t show it much, his hands resting on you, the slide of his lips against your own, the way he seemed unwilling to let you go spoke for him.You pulled away for a moment, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek. You had the Illumi Zoldyck as your lover, and no matter what anyone said, he loved you. “Miss me?”

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 15 days

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aita for avoiding my husband on purpose, like, all the time? my husband (m36) and i (f34) have been married for almost 10 years (anniversary in a few months). we have 3 kids (m10, f8, f1) and he works full time while i stay at home. even before we got married i didnt really have friends other than him, and i always had a hard time finding excuses to get out of the house. frequently, he gets to hang out with his buddies who he also works with, and ever since we had kids he's always going out and leaving me home alone even when hes not at work just to idk. hang out at bars and pretend we don't exist. well lately ive been making time for myself to go out when the kids are at school (my youngest is pretty well behaved so i just take her with me instead of paying a babysitter) and i had managed to get kinda friendly with some of the wives of my husbands coworkers (theyre all members of the same union, so we see each other at those functions every once in awhile). i thought it was all going well and i was having fun and enjoying getting to be social for once, but about 2 weeks ago, the whole family was invited out for lunch (a picnic type thing) with his buddies from work's families. all was going well and for the most part even the kids were having fun, but then my husband got absolutely fucking trashed for no reason. none of the other guys were acting like that, and we've had conversations about him not doing that sort of thing, but he NEVER listens. he's always acting like this, but usually i dont have to see when its in public. well he embarrassed me so fucking much. he was trying to start fights, messing up his clothes, and wouldn't listen to me at all. just in his own world as always. i should've known because its been a decade of this, but i could have sworn it wasn't this bad before. he wasn't like this when we dated you know? so we got home and i was just. grossed out and annoyed. i slept on the couch and pretty much ever since then, i haven't been talking to him. i got a text from one of the ladies saying that a wednesday hangout thing i had been invited to had been canceled, but i pretty much KNOW 100% that it wasn't, and that they just don't want to be associated with me now. the kids don't really seem bothered by the tension around the house (i think its sort of normal to them since hes frequently not around anyways). i wouldn't be near as annoyed if there wasn't a part of my brain telling me "he did it on purpose". i know that's just how he acts but i could SWEAR its almost like he just doesnt want me to have friends. he doesn't want to hear about it, he just wants me THERE at home, watching the kids and existing solely for his convenience. i used to consider divorce, before we had our youngest. but i haven't had a job since high school, and i couldnt put the burden of asking for help on my sisters. they hate him, but i couldnt ask them for that support. and i dont even know what the kids would think, i cant do that to them. but yesterday, my husband brought it up (cornered me in our room pretty much) and asked why i was ignoring him. what if he really didnt know why? i TOLD him, but its like he forgot or just expects me to be "over it" by now. all i wanted was just this one thing, to HAVE FRIENDS, have that time away from being just "mom" and do what i want. he gets to do that so why cant i? or AT LEAST he could put some more effort into being around and doing things as a family? but i still wonder if im being the asshole, for giving him the cold shoulder for this long. he didnt have a happy childhood or good examples for parents so maybe he just thinks this is normal? i never asked because i assumed he knew it wasn't. and he does seem like, disappointed that i wont come to bed. maybe ive been driving him off and that's why he doesnt like to come home? idk at this point, im at a loss. aita?

#aita #am i the asshole

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sidekick-hero · 3 months

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It's a quiet Sunday afternoon in late May, the sun streaming in through the living room windows and bathing them in its warm light.

His head is in Eddie's lap and Eddie's fingers are running through his hair in that soothing way that makes Steve feel closer to sleep than awake. Everything is soft and hazy, like a dream he never wants to wake up from.

Everything could be perfect.

Everything is perfect, really.

Everything except the voice in his head. It speaks in different tongues to better disguise itself, making it harder for Steve to get rid of it.

Sometimes it sounds like his grandfather telling him to go somewhere else to eat like a goddamn pig when Steve ate his chicken legs with his hand and got grease on himself.

Other times it's his mom telling the neighbor that Steve wasn't the brightest kid, but at least he was good at sports.

Often it is his father's voice asking him why he is such a disappointment.

On his bad days, it is Nancy's voice reminding him that his love is bullshit, that he is bullshit.

Eddie helps. Most days he makes the voices go away, or at least helps him quiet them.

But not today.

Today Steve woke up to a bad day.

That's why they canceled their plans to go to the Hopper-Byers' for a family picnic and decided to spend their Sunday on the couch instead, just the two of them.

That's why Steve is biting back the questions he's been dying to ask for hours. It's too much to ask, too raw, too needy. It would be like cutting himself open and showing Eddie the emptiness inside where a real person should be.

That's why he breaks so easily when Eddie looks down at him with a soft, adoring smile on his face and kisses the tip of Steve's nose.

Just like that. Like it's nothing. Like it's everything.

Like it's love.

"Why?" It bursts out of him like hot magma from an erupting volcano, spilling out of his mouth and leaving scorched earth in its wake.

Brown eyes widen in surprise, clearly not expecting a natural disaster in their living room.

"Why what, Stevie?" He asks, his fingers stopping their soothing ministrations, and Steve begins a tally of the casualties. That's one.

"Why are you doing this?" Steve demands, unable to contain the outburst. "Treating me like... like I'm something worth treating with so much care and gentleness? You canceled the picnic today like it's no big deal, but I know how excited you've been all week about your little campaign with the kids. Just because I'm too weak to handle a bad day. Why are you not angry? Why... why...?"

Why are you still here?

He can't say it, can't ask it, too afraid of the answer.

But Eddie hears it anyway, can see through Steve and his bullshit as if he were made of glass.

"Because I love you, Steve."

Steve hates that it sounds so simple when Eddie says it like that.

"But why?"

Steve scrambles into an upright position, can't bear to have this conversation lying down. He needs to be able to run and hide, to get away so he can lick his wounds.

Some of these thoughts must show on his face, or maybe it's just the way Eddie has learned to read him like an open book. Those dark chocolate eyes Steve loves to get lost in go impossibly soft as they take him in, and Eddie's calloused hands are so, so gentle as they grip Steve's own, as if Eddie is afraid he'll break him with one wrong move.

"There is no why, Stevie. I love you because I have to. Because there is no other way to exist in a world with you in it. No why, any more than there's a reason your hair does that floppy thing no matter how hard you try to tame it. Or why a gaggle of middle schoolers imprinted on you like ducklings, so now we're co-parenting them."

Eddie brings both of Steve's hands to his mouth and kisses them reverently before placing them on his own cheeks, silently asking Steve to hold him.

And Steve does, as if Eddie is the most precious thing he's ever held in his hands.

"Some days I felt like I wasn't even real, you know? Like I was imaginary, and if people stopped believing I was real, I would just disappear. So I invented myself every day so other people wouldn't have to. It was like who I really was was secondary to what I wanted everyone else to see. But not you. You saw me. You knew me, from the beginning. I can't really explain it any better than that. You make me real. And I love you. And there is no why, only a how. I love you like you're real too."

The voices in his head do not magically disappear, but when Steve kisses Eddie, he begins to feel like a real person, too.

#steddie #steddie fanfiction #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddielovemonth #day 5 #love is being seen and known #my writing

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therealcocoshady · 16 days

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RED CARPET APPEARANCE 🎥

Eminem x Young Actress Reader

This is Part 2 of Daddy's Spaghetti 🥰

Synopsis : You argue with Em about a red carpet appearance at the Oscars.

The last thing you wanted was to argue with your boyfriend right before going to the Oscars, but there you were. Lately, the two of you had been arguing quite a bit. To be fair, both of you were working a lot and being in a long distance relationship didn’t help. Not only did you have to manage hectic schedules, you also had to deal with time difference and last minute changes in plans. You had been dating Marshall for a few months now and you weren’t too sure how long things would last. Sure, when you were together, things were great, but actually getting together seemed impossible, these days. Right when you thought you could both make time, there was always something coming up, like an unplanned studio session, a meeting, or God knows what else. It didn’t help either that Marshall was paranoid about the two of you being seen together.

After more than a decade in the spotlight and living in Los Angeles, you were used to paparazzi and having your picture taken whenever you were running errands. Of course, sometimes, it was annoying, but you had learned to live with it. Marshall, on the other hand, in spite of having a career lasting over twenty-five years was as paranoid as one could get. It was one of the many reasons why he hated being in Los Angeles and always tried to get you to come to Detroit instead, along with the weather being too hot. In truth, you didn’t mind going to Michigan or spending a lot of time inside, just the two of you. This time, however, you wished he would be the one making an effort. You were nominated for an Oscar for the first time and it was a big night for you. You knew he wasn’t a big fan of public appearances but you wished he would agree to coming with you. After all, he was a nominee himself - for the same movie as you, mind you - and everyone pretty much knew about your relationship, even though none of you had officially confirmed it. To you, there was no reason not to walk the red carpet together. However, when you asked him if he would be your date to the Academy Awards, he wasn’t too enthusiast. In fact, all you got from him was a « erm, I don’t know. We’ll see. Let me think about it. ». And after giving it some thought, he decided not to go with you, breaking it to you over FaceTime, three days before the event. He brought up a bunch of reasons, like having a studio session with Dre that might run late and prevent him from making it in time, hating the red carpet anyway and not wanting to be paraded in a suit that made him look like a penguin. He did not seem to care that you having to take someone else as your date would mean you wouldn’t be sitting next to each other or that you would have wanted him to be by your side. You were mad. You had always known he didn’t really care about awards and public appearances, but you wished he would make an effort for you. Him being set in his ways made you feel like he wouldn’t put you first, just for once.

Do you even want to be with me ? You blurted out after he told you to find another date.

What the fuck ? He asked with disbelief all over his face. What does that have to do with that damn red carpet, Y/N ?

You cancelled the last time you were supposed to come to LA, you’re never available and now you won’t even make an effort for me, you explained. If you don’t want to be with me anymore, just say so…

You’re so dramatic, they better give you that Oscar, he groaned. Not everything is about you, you know ? I’m working my ass off to get the album done in time, I don’t need you complaining over a stupid red carpet appearance.

Oh I’m being dramatic ? You asked as you stared at his face on the screen. I’ll give you drama : you can book a hotel room and forget about all the nasty things you were planning on doing to me in bed for next time we were supposed to see each other.

Whatever, he said as he rolled his eyes. Just go and rehearse your acceptance speech. I have to go anyway. I have Dre calling on the other line. I’ll call you later.

He did try to call you a couple of hours later, but you didn’t feel like picking up. You were still pissed off and, frankly, a little stressed out too. After all, he hadn’t answered your question about wanting to be with you. You knew you’d have to talk to him at some point - and get to the bottom of the situation, but you also didn’t want to break up over the phone merely three days before one of the most important events of your life. Whatever it was, it could wait until after the Oscars.

You ended up walking the red carpet with your older brother as your date. The two of you were extremely close and he had always been your plus one to events. It sort of made sense to go to the Oscars with him, even though you would have loved to have Marshall by your side. Your big brother was all smiles as he watched you pose for the photographers in a stunning custom Alaïa dress. However, your attire or possible Best Actress win wasn’t exactly the main focus of the journalists, who were yelling questions about your boyfriend who was nowhere to be found.

Where is Eminem, Y/N ? One asked. Is he coming tonight ?

Are the two of you together ? Another yelled.

You didn’t answer the questions about him, only the ones about your nomination, how you’d feel about winning, the movie and your outfit. You tried to focus on the positives and everything this night meant for your career, but you had a hard time focusing. All you wanted was Marshall’s hand in yours and him to be by your side. Hell, you had even picked the dress color because you thought he would like it. You knew that blue was his favorite color and had figured that, if the two of you were to walk the red carpet together, it would make his eyes pop.

Breathe, your brother said. You look tense. Is this about Em ?

Just call him by his name, you said as you rolled his eyes. You’ve met him.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be your date and enjoy the open bar, he continued, but you look… upset ?

I think he wants to break up with me, you said nervously.

No he doesn’t, your brother scoffed. Where did you get that from ?

Well, he’s never available, he didn’t want to be here with me tonight, and he called me dramatic, and…

First of all, you are dramatic, your brother chuckled. Also, you know he’s working a lot…

I should have known better than to ask his biggest fan for support, you said as you rolled your eyes.

Just shut up and focus on your big night, sis, he said with a smile. My baby sister might be getting the biggest award there is for being dramatic, tonight. Now, I think we should focus on that, as well as the fact that stylists managed to make you look presentable.

Your brother’s weird encouragement was a good way to make you smile, and the glasses of champagne waiters kept on handing you did a great job when it came to taking the edge off. You were taken to your seats and the ceremony began. You kept nervously searching for Marshall in the crowd but you didn’t manage to spot him. Was he skipping the whole thing ? Your mind wandered as the ceremony unfolded and you were soon on autopilot. It was your first time attending the Academy Awards and this had to be the longest ceremony ever. The only entertaining things were the various performances. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard the music of Marshall’s song - the one he had written for the movie. He was not supposed to perform tonight - this had not been announced - but he was on stage, rapping the song that got him his second Oscars nomination exactly twenty years after winning Best Original Song for Lose Yourself. The crowd was wild and you were excited as well. Seeing him on stage made you forget how mad at him you were and you were back to being his number one fan, gushing over how good he looked and rapping the lyrics at the same time, like the groupie you very much were. His performance got him a standing ovation and, twenty minutes and a commercial break later, he was back on stage, accepting the award for Best Original Song. Only this time, he was conforming to the Academy’s dress code, looking dapper in a tux. He might hate this type of outfit, but no one could deny he looked absolutely incredible. One detail did catch your eye : the bow tie he was wearing was made of the same fabric as your dress. He was matching with you !

When you wouldn’t return his calls, he called me to ask who you were going to wear, your brother told you.

He did ? You squeed.

Yep. Not the kind of thing anyone who wants to break up with you would do, I think. I’m not supposed to tell you, but he’s got another one to match your second dress, too…

You couldn’t help but smile. The fact that he would go out of his way to call your brother, as well as the dressmakers to have a bowtie matching your dress was absolutely adorable. You couldn’t keep your eyes off Marshall, who was giving a heartfelt speech about how great it felt to have the Academy acknowledge hip-hop and how grateful he was to have the opportunity to be on this stage, two decades after Lose Yourself won. His speech was just like him : elegant and understated. When he went back to his seat, you could see him search for you in the crowd and you waved quietly, sending him a kiss. You couldn’t wait to go and hug him.

Can’t you behave ? Your brother chuckled. There’s cameras, Y/N. And try not to eye fuck him or drool, this time, will you ?

I’ll try, you giggled.

You were almost in agony the rest of the night and the two of you kept looking and smiling at each other. As always when the two of you were in the same room, you were unable to take your eyes off him for a single second. You didn’t pay much attention to anything else that was going on, so much so that you almost missed your name being called for Best Actress. Everyone around you got up and cheered for you and you were lost. You had actually won an Oscar ?! You ? It didn’t feel right. Bit it was indeed, your name on the screen, and people kept on looking at you. Your brother had to help you get up as you came to your senses and realized that your childhood dream had come true. You made your way to the stage as tears of joy were welling in your eyes. You were almost shaking with nerves as you started your acceptance speech. You had one written and memorized but you couldn’t remember it for the life of you. You spotted Marshall in the crowd, who was smiling and looking at you with pride in his eyes, mouthing a silent « I love you ».

I… Wow, you said nervously into the microphone. I can’t believe this is happening. I had something really heartfelt, clever and funny written but I can’t remember a single word so please bear with me. Hum… Standing here, on this stage, holding this award is a childhood dream come true. First, I want to thank my family who has always supported my passion, and I’d like to thank everyone in Hollywood that gave me a chance to act. And everyone who didn’t. In fact, I want to acknowledge every person who doubted me. And every boyfriend of mine who called me dramatic. There have been a few, and you best believe I’m creating a group chat tonight and telling them that I actually got an award for being dramatic and made it my full-time job. Um… What else ? Oh, uh, thank you to my manager, assistant, glam squad… Shout out to Alaïa for getting me into this dress tonight, and shout out to Marshall Mathers who will be taking it off me tonight. Dreams do come true, guys !

The crowd erupted in cheers and laughter and you could see Marshall laughing before you exited the stage. When you made it backstage, you took a moment to sit and realize what just happened. You had won an Oscar. Oh, and you had accidentally mentioned Marshall taking off your clothes. On stage. While million of people probably watched the ceremony on TV… Oops. A few people came to congratulate you, though you were quickly ushered back to your seat for the remainder of the ceremony. The movie you were in did not end up winning Best Picture, but you easily got over your disappointment. When the ceremony ended, you were swarmed by an army of people who came to congratulate you. You even got to hug Meryl Streep and tell her how she was the one who made you want to act in the first place, and this was definitely the highlight of your night. Your brother had gotten out of your sight and was enjoying the open bar, as he always did whenever he came with you to an event. When the crowd began to vacate, you had a moment to yourself. That’s when you spotted your boyfriend.

Congratulations, he said as he pulled you into his arms.

Congratulations to you too, you said giddily. You were amazing on stage !

As were you, he replied with a smile. Great speech, by the way…

Oh my God, I am so sorry, you said. I forgot my speech, and I-I… Are you mad ?

It’s fine, he chuckled. You’re way too adorable for me to be mad.

Really ? You asked nervously. I know how you are about privacy…

Really, he said reassuringly. And with you looking like this… ? I am glad everyone knows you’re spoken for.

I think they got the idea when they saw you matching with me, you said with excitement.

You like it ? He asked with a smile. I had to ask your brother and harass the dressmakers. They hate me.

He told me, you said giddily. And I know you have another one to match my dress for the afterparty, too…

If you still want me as your date, that is, he pointed out.

I do, you giggled. But I’m going to need your help to get out of this dress and into the other…

Let’s go, then.

He grabbed your hand and you walked out of the theater, holding your awards, while an army of journalists were screaming to get your attention. You half-expected Marshall to let go of your hand, knowing how guarded he was when it came to the press, but he only squeezed it tighter before grabbing you by the waist as you made your way to a car.

Em, how are you feeling tonight ? A journalist asked.

Have you seen my date ? I’m great, man, he grinned as he looked at you lovingly.

VIDEO : WATCH AS EMINEM GUSHES OVER Y/N AFTER THE OSCARS

Eminem & Y/N have officially confirmed their relationship ! The couple did not walk the red carpet together but they certainly made a memorable exit, as Eminem gushed over his date to journalists while not letting go of her. This happened after Y/N hinted at Em taking her Alaïa dress off her in her acceptance speech. While the Rap God did not mention his girlfriend in his own speech, he certainly appeared in love. While known for his stoic face, he was seen smiling all evening, especially when they made their way to the Vanity Fair afterparty (almost an hour late, mind you…) in matching outfits. And if he does not seem like one to kiss and tell, no one missed Y/N’s lipstick all over his mouth, nor the hickies in his neck.

That night was a big one for the rapper and the movie star, as they both took home statues, respectively for Best Original Song and Best Actress. And from the looks of it, they certainly celebrated.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine

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tayrcse · 6 months

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Messed Around and Hot Addicted

✎ series summary: Rafe never intended to fall in love with you. I mean, you were just his client/fuck-buddy, right? What happens when he realizes you’re more than that?

✎ chapter summary: A night of bliss turns into something more. Can you get out before it’s too late?

✎ warnings: mentions of sex, drug use, swearing

✎ characters: Rafe Cameron, Barry

✎ word count: 732

✎ tags: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @f4ll-for-you

series masterlist

You leave Rafe’s house the next day feeling awful. The mix of the drugs leaving your system and the shame of sleeping with none other than Rafe Cameron had you doing the walk of shame all the way to your house on the other side of the island. Which is why you couldn’t explain why you were back in his arms the very next day.

After a cocaine-filled night, you once again end up in Rafe Cameron’s bed, experiencing pleasure you never had before. You weren’t sure what you were more addicted to. The drugs? Or him?

Rafe knew he was screwed a month into your arrangement. He found himself no longer joining you when you came over to partake in drug use, wanting to be sober for what always transpired after. He noticed how he would wait in his living room every night, waiting for your familiar knock on his door. He knew this was bad. Rafe Cameron wasn’t supposed to care about anyone but himself, much less a pogue. But you were different. You were beautiful and kind. You were quick-witted and always kept him on his toes. Rafe Cameron found himself falling in love with you. Which is why he turned you away the next time you came over.

When the familiar knock sounded on his door, Rafe went to open it, knowing he’d be greeted with your smile on the other side.

“Hi,” you greet shyly. You were always like this when you first came over: quiet and reserved. It was only after he supplied you with cocaine that you opened yourself to him.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he replies, the pet name rolling off his tongue easily.

“Can I come in?” You ask when he doesn’t move aside to allow you in like he normally did.

Rafe sighs, bracing himself for your reaction to what he was going to say next. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he tells you.

“Oh. Do you have plans tonight?” You ask, confused. Rafe always let you in, no matter what. If he had guests over, they were told to leave. If he had somewhere to be, he would call and cancel. This was new to you, and you didn’t know how to react.

“No, I just- I don’t think you should come here anymore,” Rafe replies, watching as your face changes from confusion to hurt.

“What? Why? I thought- I thought we were having fun?”

“Fun? You’re killing yourself, (Y/N)!” And there it was. The real reason Rafe was turning you away. After the months you had spent together, Rafe realized he wouldn’t be able to handle it if something happened to you. He also realized that we was increasing that risk every time you came over, and he indulged your addiction.

“What are you talking about?” You ask, genuinely confused.

Rafe shakes his head. “I’m cutting you off, (Y/N),” he explains.

“What? You- you can’t do that,” you say frantically.

“I can, and I am,” Rafe says, finality in his tone.

“Rafe, please,” you beg, reaching out for him.

He pulls away from you. “Go home, (Y/N),” he says before closing the door on your shocked face.

It’s a week later when Rafe sees you again. He had just arrived at a party when he sees you at a table surrounded by other people, kooks and pogues alike. He watches as you bend down toward the table, a rolled up dollar bill held up to your nose. Rafe is seeing red. He had explicitly told Barry that you were off-limits. Barry knew the risk of selling to you, and he had done it anyway. Rafe would deal with him later.

Rafe, striding over to you, watches as one of your friends takes your arm and leads you to the make-shift dance floor. He watches your movements for a moment, relishing in your beauty as you sway along to the music. He almost doesn’t notice when a man he doesn’t know walks up to you and grabs your hips, practically grinding himself on you. However, he definitely notices when you don’t push the stranger away. He’s barely aware of himself walking over to you and the man. He doesn’t think before pulling the man off of you and directing a punch at the man’s face. And he doesn’t stop even as he hears your shocked gasp.

“Oh fuck.”

#outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #tayrcse

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littlespoonevan · 21 days

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What is the couch theory? 😅

oh anon, where do i start!!!!! this is possibly my favourite subject of all time so apologies in advance if this gets rambly askdjfh

okay so the couch theory goes all the way back to s5 of 911. at the start of 5B buck asks taylor to move in with him, right? and because she brings all her stuff with her it means they have double of everything, including two couches. so buck gets rid of his and they keep taylor's

however in 5x18 buck and taylor break up so she moves out and, of course, takes her couch with her

when we meet buck again in s6 a few months later he still hasn't found a replacement couch. over family dinner with eddie and christopher, chris makes a joke about it (like father, like son) and buck tells him and eddie that, "he doesn't want to choose the wrong couch again" heavily implying he means he doesn't want to choose the wrong romantic partner again (he also says his last two couches came with girlfriends since ali presumably helped him pick out the first one when he moved into the loft in s2).

the episode ends with buck moving his armchair to the place his couch used to sit and sitting down with a smile on his face, suggesting he's content on his own for now and thus, the couch theory was born:

buck's next couch/romantic partner will be the Right one

so we go through the whole of 6A with no couch developments and no real allusions to it be tHEN in 6B after the lightning strike buck's parents comment on his lack of couch and his mother decides she's going to buy him a couch (which is the adult equivalent of getting him a new bike when he hurts himself but that's a different post)

so margaret buys buck a couch but obviously, it's all wrong. because buck didn't choose it himself. it's not comfortable, he can't relax on it, can't fall asleep on it. and in an episode where buck is feeling smothered by everyone's attempts to check in on him it doesn't offer the comfort he needs so what does he do???

go to eddie's house of course!

and you'll never guess what happens, anon:

buck falls asleep on eddie's couch in about five seconds flat!!!!

to say 911 had me by the throat at that point would be an understatement lmao

bc that means eddie's the couch, right?????? what other implications could there possibly be when buck has been using his couch as a metaphor for a partner and he falls asleep on eddie's couch so quickly, suggesting he feels safe and comfortable there??? i said it that time but it would literally have been less suggestive to have him sleep in eddie's bed than it would've been to have him sleep on the couch at the point skdjhf

(and none of this is even getting into the fact that when buck wakes up eddie is the first person buck is honest with in the episode about how he's feeling after the accident, further cementing the idea of him being buck's safe space)

anyway by the end of s6 kameron gives birth on buck's couch and effectively ruins it meaning it's time for him to get a new couch again. now this is where everything falls to shit and i WILL be bitter about this for the rest of my life lmao but basically because of the fear of cancellation s6 sort of pivots in the last few eps and the finale makes an attempt to give each of the characters a mini happy ending in case it really is the overall series finale. and buck's 'happy ending' was to ask natalia (who he'd recently started dating) to help him pick out a new couch

now my personal opinion?? i Hated that. not even from a buddie perspective, just as someone who is very dedicated to buck's seasons long romantic arc and the couch theory, i thought it was really weak and far less satisfying than if he'd just ended the season single. especially bc the point was buck was supposed to pick the couch himself. but!!! some people are suggesting he still doesn't have a couch in s7 (though it's hard to tell since all the shots we've gotten have been in the kitchen) so i am privately holding onto the hope that the couch theory lives on aksjdfh

TL;DR the couch is eddie. eddie is the couch 🛋️❤️

#anon #asks #911 related #long post #couch theory you will always be famous i will never forget you

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precioustarkey · 1 year

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valentine's day surprise

au where drew is not an actor, but a barista? and in college?

summary: college can be hard, so having a place to escape can be refreshing.

warnings: none

monday morning. arguably the most dreaded time of the week. it was exceptionally difficult to pull myself out of bed this morning. i felt especially comforted by the warmth of the blankets wrapped tightly around me. however, the sound of my alarm was enough for me to throw the comfort out of the window as i smacked my phone angrily. i pull myself up, rubbing my eyes in an attempt to regain my sense of consciousness.

i glance at the time: 7:36. the light in my closet nearly blinds me as i grab around for anything warm. i make my way to the bathroom, throwing my clothes on the toilet seat. when the warm water from the shower finally hits me i feel instantly rejuvenated. i carry on with my routine, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, etc. my professor cancelled my class for today, but i figured i may as well stick to my usual schedule.

planning on doing assignments for my other classes, i pack my bag with everything i may need. throwing it over my shoulder and grabbing my phone, i make my way to the only thing that could save my sanity: the coffee shop down the street. cliche i know, but it has always been a goal of mine to be one of those mysterious girls who alternate between coffee shops in the city.

actually, my mysterious girl fantasy is still in the works considering that almost every barista knows me by my name. i can feel my anxiety in the pit of my stomach as i see all of the red and pink hearts in the windows of every store coming and going. i am not one of those people who despises valentine's day, but i do worry my safe space will be crowded with couples due to the nearing holiday. i enjoy my time there more when it is mostly empty.

when i step in the door, i am relieved by the warm air hitting my cold hands and face. i am also relieved to see that the crowd is no bigger than normal. my eyes then darted to see who was working today, and i immediately reconized the familiar smile behind the counter. "good morning, y/n," he greeted me as i made my way closer. my grin never leaves my face as i reply, "good morning, drew."

drew starkey. we go to the same university, but we come from very different sides of campus. i spend my nights studying for exams, and drew spends his nights going to frat parties and playing basketball. as much as i hate to admit it, i have grown quite fond of drew since our small talk in the coffee shop began. "do you want your old usual or your new usual?" he teases. i recently changed my order, and he was not happy that i threw off our routine. "new usual, please," i laugh, watching him playfully roll his eyes as he begins preparing my order.

"i have to say i'm shocked you're here so early," i comment as i lean forward, resting on the counter with my wallet ready. he lets out a quiet chuckle. "you have my schedule memorized? i'm flattered." now it's my turn to roll my eyes. "only because i'm here almost every day." "if that helps you sleep better at night," he teases.

purposefully ignoring his comment, i grab the coffee from his hand, pulling my card out of my wallet. "don't worry about it," he says as he wipes down the counter where he had just prepared my drink. "drew, i'm not letting you pay for my coffee," i insist, handing him the card anyway. "consider it a valentine surprise," he smiles. "well, thank you very much starkey, i'll have to make it up to you," i wink, turning around and making my way to my favorite table.

my schoolwork takes up about an hour and a half of my time. this time was also spent feeling intense stares in my direction. it was not unusual for drew to be flirty with me. i assume he is that way with most girls he comes into contact with, but the level of concentration he has on me today is new. i am almost uncomfortable. not because i feel unsafe, but because i immediately wonder what i have done to make him so interested.

in my confusion, i slowly begin to pack up my things, and prepare myself to go back to my apartment. once again, i throw my bag over my shoulder, grab my empty cup and a few loose pieces of paper, and toss them into the trash can nearby. i look over to drew and give him a farewell smile.

“hey, y/n, wait a second,” he says over the new crowd of people. i turned around curiously. “take this.” he’s holding a card in his hand. “what is this?” i tease, grabbing the card. “open it when you get wherever you’re going,” he grins, going back to his spot to wait on a customer who had appeared.

i slide the card into one of the pockets on my bag and step outside, greeted by the chilly air. my curiosity is getting the better of me on what feels like the longest walk back home. when i finally see the familiar building, i am almost running to get inside.

my bag thuds against the ground as i land myself at my desk. the card is still poking out ever so slightly. the ‘card’ being a folded up piece of paper. i quickly opened it to see drew’s messy handwriting. my heartbeat was getting quicker as i read his words: “to make it up to me, you could let me take you somewhere nicer than a coffee shop for valentine’s day.” his number was scratched at the bottom.

the smile never leaves my face as i read the card again and again. my phone next to me, patiently waiting for his number to be entered. i decide against texting him until later in the day because of his shift. my thoughts race with wonder–had i made him nervous? is that why we shared so many awkward glances?

maybe a date with drew starkey isn’t such a bad idea.

this is my first post please cut me some slack

#drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #rafe cameron #y/n #drew starky x y/n #rafe cameron x y/n #outer banks #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey one shot #drew starkey headcannon

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hotteoki · 7 months

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the night we met (k.h.j.)

“i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. i don't know what i'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you. take me back to the night we met” — “the night we met” by lord huron {2015}

pairing: kim hongjoong x reader (no prns used)

genre: fluff, angst, est. rel, lovers to unrequited love

cw: /

wc: 1.2k

thank you to @yourfatherlucifer, rie (@pyeonghongrie) & cinny (@mochamvgz) for beta reading <3

the first time the doubt seeped in was 6 months ago. hongjoong had called to cancel your weekly date, apologising profusely over the phone, saying he would make it up to you; but that wasn’t what had set things off. it wasn’t uncommon for him to cancel during the morning of the date every now and then, you yourself would sometimes, whether it be too tired, or feeling sick, anything. it was him cancelling the next week that made you begin to worry. hongjoong is never one to cancel twice, always prioritising you over work. you had brushed it off, yet the unsettling feeling still lingers in the back of your mind. by the third time he cancelled, you confronted him, calling him after he sent a short text, saying ‘need to cancel, sorry’, only to be sent to voicemail.

sighing to yourself, you knew there was no point in going to his studio, there were chances he went out with friends. when night came, you laid on the couch, trying your best to fight off the weight on your eyelids that were causing them to droop. upon hearing the door unlock, you sat up immediately, rubbing the drowsiness away in your eyes. “baby, have you been waiting for me?” hongjoong’s shocked voice travelling into your ears. “of course,” you smiled weakly, yawning, “i missed you.” “i’m sorry honey, i know i’ve been cancelling, but i thought you wouldn’t wait for me. i knew i was going to work late and i wanted you to sleep earlier,” he sat beside you, gently pushing your head into his lap, caressing your cheek gently. “i’ll always wait for you.” upon hearing that, he leaned down to kiss the crown of your head. “i love you, joong.” you were too tired to notice he never said it back.

it was thursday. you had finished classes earlier and went back to hongjoong’s apartment, hoping to visit him after not being able to see him for well over a week. you weren’t even surprised anymore when you opened the door to be met with an empty apartment. making your way over to his bedroom, you frowned upon seeing the door closed. he was never one to close his bedroom door. you slowly pushed it open and peeked your head through the doorframe, still holding on to the slim chance of him being inside, only to be met with disappointment upon seeing the light switched off.

turning it on, your eyes widened at the sight of the messy state of his room. his desktop computer still sat by the corner of his desk, his chair swivelled a bit to the side (you smiled a bit at that, hongjoong was never one to tuck his chair back in, always complaining when it ends up getting in his way) the unmade bed, spare headphones discarded lazily on his bedside drawer, wastebasket filled with scrunched up paper balls. everything was as it should be.

you sat gingerly on his chair, spinning around a little, the turned-down picture frame next to his computer catching your eye. without even turning it back up, you already knew which picture it was, yet you stood it straight anyway, immediately met with three polaroids side by side in a row, taken on each of yours and hongjoong’s anniversary. you remembered getting a frame with him at a nearby local store, and sitting on his bed afterwards, him carefully pulling the three polaroids from his photo album and placing them into the frame, playfully arguing with you about how to place the order of the polaroids.

the polaroid of your second anniversary was first, the one on the far left. he had taken you roller skating, except neither of you were very good at it. you let out a small laugh at the memory of him falling and pulling you down with him. you also remembered being too scared to ask someone to take a polaroid of the two of you, needing him to ask for you, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before doing so.

the polaroid on the far right was your third anniversary. he had remembered you mentioning off-handedly about wanting to stargaze, and did exactly that. he had eagerly lead you to the han river after a nice dinner (which you insisted on paying for), pointing out random stars and blurting out random constellation names, making up their meanings. “you see that column of stars over there? it’s called the lobster constellation. it comes from the fact that lobsters hold hands in fish tanks, because they’re married for life, or something like that? i forgot what phoebe said,” he sounded unsure of himself, “and it basically means you should kiss me” you laughed at that, but kissed him anyway.

the one in the middle was your favourite one. it was also his favourite, you liked to think. it was your first anniversary with him. it was a selfie that hongjoong insisted would work, but ended up with the two of you being a little off centre with a stranger at the background, yet it was your favourite one, because both of you had the biggest smile on your faces, with his free arm wrapped tightly around your waist, holding to as close to him as possible.

placing the picture frame down, you leaned back against the chair, feet accidentally kicking the wastebasket tucked underneath his desk, spilling the paper balls on the floor. sighing, you bent down to pick them up, halting when you realised you recognised exactly where the papers came from. hongjoong’s diary. the one you gifted him.

you tried to resist the urge to open one of them up to read it, only to give in, taking the nearest one and opening it up. you immediately stiffened up upon reading the date written in bold at the top. your one month anniversary. your breath hitched as you read through it. you would’ve appreciated all the sweet words he had written had your name not been crossed every time it was mentioned.

swallowing thickly, you picked up a few other ones in the wastebasket, opening them up as well. you felt your heart thumping faster and faster as you read more and more entries, all of them from significant dates in your relationship; the three month anniversary, one year anniversary, first christmas, second valentine’s day, third date— you shoved them all back in the basket. it was all too much to bear.

you silently glanced around his room again. you felt haunted by the ghostly presence of him in his room, it was like he was right here, but also not at all. it just wasn’t fair. you ignored the growing ache in your chest. you ignored the tiny cracks on the glass of the picture frame, indicating he had thrown it around at some point. you ignored the half peeled off stickers you had stuck along the base of his keyboard. you ignored the beanie you gave him for his birthday last year carelessly shoved under his mattress. you ignored how the photos on his corkboard had pins going directly in between the two of you.

you ignored how deep down, you knew hongjoong no longer loved you the same way he did. when it happened, or why, you had no idea, nor did you have the motivation to ask, knowing there was no point in asking questions you didn’t want answers to. but what you couldn’t ignore, was the longing feeling of wishing someone could take you back to the night you first met him, because even though this story would end the same way no matter how hard you tried to stop it, you’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

taglist - @dikeu @weird-bookworm @asjkdk

networks - @kflixnet k-labels kbookshelf neverendingdreams-net straykidsland @k-films @pirateeznet

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he-goes-down · 7 months

Text

There Was A Time:

Past chapters/warnings

2. Right Next Door To Hell:

“Y/N?”

-------

Second person POV:

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

You looked up to see Duff, standing in the pouring rain, with a quizzical look on his face. He didn’t make fun of you for crying, he didn’t mock you, he was just worried and confused. What were you to tell him, ‘Oh I was walking to my hotel then realised it doesn’t exist, or better yet it doesn’t exist yet.’ You contemplated on what to say. “The hotel,” you paused. “Cancelled on me. Gave my room to some rich bloke.” You lied, without looking up at him. Soon you felt that the rain stopped but you still heard it, but you looked up to see Duff holding his trench coat over you. “Come on, you can stay with us for the night.” He said, as he held a hand out for you to grab. “Are you sure? What about the others?” You asked, this was like a dream come true, but you didn’t want to be a nuisance. ‘Never mind, fuck that it’s cold.’ You told yourself and took Duffs warm hand. You both hid under his trench coat from the rain, as you walked to where they stayed. “I think I have to say sorry, this is probably worse than staying in the rain.” Duff laughed lightly trying to lighten the mood. “We call it the Hell House, and not just because Axl lives in it. Everything that can happen, happens there. So just be warned.” He spoke. As the two of you approached the place, you could already hear everything that was going on inside. Yelling, shouting, music blaring, even someone snoring. It was small and run down, the porch had wood rot and a spot that looked like it was set on fire, one of the windows had small holes in it, and the other one was brown form was presumed as too much smoking. You stepped up onto the porch, Duff was in front of you holding the doorknob and twisting it. He jiggled it and turned it in all kinds of ways until it finally opened.

Slash was sleeping on the couch, that explained the loud snoring. Izzy and Axl were yelling, over a bucket, on which leaking hole in the roof should they put it under. Steven was just sitting on the floor in front of a small box TV minding his business. They were all in little worlds of their own and didn’t even notice the two of you come in. “The bathroom is all the way down there, on the left. Go shower and get into dry clothes.” Duff said with a smile, “Oh and if the hot water doesn’t work just turn on the cold water by the sink.” “Thank You.” You smiled back as you nodded your head. You walked past the two pasty men bickering with your bags, and Izzy noticed. “Oh wait! And don’t dry your face with the green towel. Maybe just don’t use any of them.” Duff warned. Suddenly all of them, except sleeping beauty, looked at you and then Duff with a confused look. You rushed to the bathroom before they could ask anything, and Duff to answer their questions. You went down the corridor of rooms, every time you looked at any part of the walls you saw a hole, possibly from a punch, they all looked around the same size. You pasted one the doors that was split in half, and just the bottom half stayed on the hinges, The whole room was filled with punch in holes. Axl’s room was probably the best guess. You got to the bathroom and closed the door. ‘Of course, it doesn’t lock’. You put your bags by the door to block it, you hoped none of them was that stupid to open the door but better safe than sorry. The shower curtain had little specks of mould on the edges, more on the ceiling, a crack in the bath, a crack in the wall, as well as the mirror, the lid for the cistern of the toilet was nowhere to be seen and not even a bodybuilder could open the window without breaking a few fingers. Not to mention the window wasn’t even frosted or could be covered in anyway. You slid off your wet clothes and hung them over the curtain rail before hoping in the shower.

The shower wasn’t bad, although you did have to turn the tap on, and Slash rushed you so he could pee. You dash into the room right across from the bathroom, as you had a towel wrapped around your body, and closed the door. At least this door could lock. ‘Shit my clothes!’ You panicked. You could go back to get it, but you really didn’t want Slash to see you in just a towel again. You could already hear his giggle just thinking about it. You just dried yourself more thoroughly to bide the time for him to leave the bathroom, your hair was still wet, but you weren’t letting that unholy towel have a chance at ruining it. Maybe a shirt could dry it faster. You looked around the room, still not getting an idea of who’s it is, searching for a shirt. You picked a Ramones shirt of the ground and sniffed it; you then gagged and instantly dropped it. It was potent. The towel that you had on was now damp and cold, so you didn’t stop looking for a big shirt to wear, big enough to cover a bit of your thighs, since you also forgot your underwear in the bathroom. You finally found one that didn’t smell like every bodily fluid rotted through the seams. It was dark grey with red writing printed but it had peeled off, so you didn’t know what it said. It was quite big and nearly went down to your knees, ‘Probably Duffs’ you thought as he was the tallest one out of the band and it would look big on anyone. As if on cue Duff opened the door, looks like no door in this house really locks. He stood there not saying a word until he snapped back a few seconds later, “Shit! Fuck! Sorry I didn’t know you were in here, the bathroom was occupied.” He apologised and tried to avert his eyes. “Um… is that my shirt?” he coughed. “Yeah, my bad. My clothes are stuck with Slash in the bathroom. I’ll give it back to you I promise, I just need to-.” “It’s fine, keep it. It looks good on you.” He said with a smile, as he began to where you were. “You didn’t try on the ones on the floor, did you?” “How are those things so filthy!?” You yelled. “I use those to clean up everything.” He chuckled at your response and explained that they didn’t have enough to get fancy drying cloths or things like that.

Sooner than later Slash finished pissing (he fell asleep, and Duff banged on the door to wake him up.) You finally got your clothes, dressing into your long pyjama pants and the new shirt you acquired. The rest of the guys didn’t seem too bothered with you staying over, they enjoyed your company and grateful that you could easily sort out Izzy and Axl’s feuds. The rest of the night you watched TV with Duff and Steven. Izzy didn’t say much to you before going to bed and it was only really him talking to the group while you were there. Axl and you had a good chat over musicians you two like and slipped in a flirty line every now and again. Slash was falling asleep every few seconds, so you and Steven helped him to his bed. “I think I’m gonna go sleep.” Steven yawned, “Night.” He yawned again as walked off. “Night.” Duff waved. You were curled asleep on the couch with your head on the arm rest and your feet next to Duff thigh. He looked down at you sleep with a small smile on his face, it was just one day but he already felt that you two had a strong bond. He watched a few more minutes of a mindless show before switching it off and yawning. You had already discussed that you would be sleeping on the couch, Duff didn’t think that it was a good idea, it was dangerous around this area, and he didn’t want anyone coming in and possibly kidnapping or anything. He stood up from the couch before glancing at you again, you shivered in your sleep. It was still cold seeing as it was still winter, raining, and there wasn’t any proper heating in the ‘Hell House’. Duff sighed, he picked you up effortlessly, regardless of what you said about the couch. He then walked to his room with you in his arms and lied you down in the bed before tucking you in and throwing over another blanket just encase.

“Goodnight doll.” He whispered as he closed the door and went back to the couch to sleep.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

Note

AITA FOR KISSING MY ROOMMATE GOODNIGHT?

(everyone is in their 20s. names are fake)

I’d like to start off by giving background, I(M) live with my roommate Salt. We’ve been living together for a couple of years now and met through mutual friends.

I’m straight. Salt is gay in a very open, stereotypical sense(yk flamboyant, effeminate etc) and I’m not saying this to judge him/say I resent him or something he’s a dear friend of mine and I couldn’t care less abt his sexuality or how he chooses to express himself. However it’s important to mention this for the sake of AITA

The actual ‘issue’ started a year ago, where we were both drunk coming home from a party, I was struggling to get my keys out so he called me a idiot and then just.. kissed me??

That caused me to question my sexuality for a while because being a straight man you’d think I’d be repulsed or bothered by it but no I didn’t really enjoy it(not like there was smth to enjoy it was like a couple of seconds) but didn’t really mind it either in fact it didn’t made me feel any different than how I’d feel kissing a random girl I suppose?

So yeah I experimented with my sexuality for a week or so and even almost hooked up with some guy but nope. Still straight. Just didn’t mind him(probably because of how close we are)

Anyways back to the point after that Salt avoided me for a while but in the end we did have a talk which was basically him saying he was not attracted to me, how it was a spur of the moment thing and also apologizing if he made me uncomfortable.

To that I told him he did not and joked about how he could do it again.

Fast forward a month(?) later the “kissing the homies goodnight” meme came out, so one time I asked him where was my goodnight kiss was at and he actually did it, after that we just continued doing that ig I don’t think none of us thought much of it other than some night time ritual.

Here comes the actual AITA part, I recently got a girlfriend(we’ll call her Pepper). I’ts not like I’m super in love with her but she’s a nice girl and I genuinely like her so I wish to keep her happy.

The issue with Pepper is that she talks a tad bit too much, I normally wouldn’t mind it as I’m on the quiet part, but she expects me to memorize everything she has told me(not in the “do you remember my friend” type of way in the she tells me about 10 different people and gets upset when I don’t remember their exes names or what did friend7 did on lunch a month ago type of way) she also has a tendency to hyperfixate on shows and talk about the plot & characters as if they’re actual real people which makes it hard for me to understand if something she says is about a show or real. She gets really upset if I forget even the smallest things about those stories and rants about how I never listen to her. I tried talking to her about this but it only ends with her crying so I just keep shut to keep her satisfied

A week ago I was having a really bad day of migraines and nothing seemed to help but me and Pepper had made plans to hang in my place and I didn’t want to cancel. She comes over and starts talking about her sister in life’s brunch. I ask her if she could slow down a bit cause my head hurts and I can’t really keep up.

Well she takes it the wrong way and starts yelling at me about how I always am like this and how I never listen to her. I admit I’m the asshole for saying this, but I ask her if she’s unable to sit down and have a conversation like an adult. This makes her calm down a bit and she sits down so we can discuss.

I try explaining to her how it’s unfair how she expects me to remember everything and I’d be more than happy to listen to her, maybe just slow down a bit?

In mid of it she has this weird smile on her face and tells me I look hot mad, she then leans over to kiss me which I pull away from because it feels like she’s just trying to change a topic and I think this is an important convo for our relationship.

This is the moment Salt decides to arrive at home(I should also mention he’s TERRIBLE at reading the room) he comes over gives me my goodnight kiss and leaves.

(I would like to add its not like we make out or something. He just gives me a peck on the lips, says goodnight and leaves)

This drives Pepper crazy. She starts shouting at me on how I’d not kiss her but him? And that I could go ride his dick if I’m that gay for him. She storms out of the apartment

I’d like to add that Pepper has never said anything about me and Salt. I never told her about the goodnight kiss(Because I mean who goes to their girlfriend like “hey btw I kiss my roommate at nights. but no homo”?) but we never hide it either in fact I’m pretty sure we did that while she was in room once or twice too. Pepper has made jokes about us being gay and how she feels bad about getting inbetween us but never anything on being uncomfortable or not liking it.

Now it’s been a week and we haven’t talked since. She is not answering my messages and I stopped trying to contact her from there but I’m starting to doubt myself, am I the asshole here? Should I go apologize?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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alwaysthefool · 1 month

Text

Stranger (x Fyodor)

Warnings: None probably but ask to warn

Tags: Fluff maybe, gender neutral, no spoilers

Another party you knew would end up in your pile of things that made you sadder. Once again you were reminded that you didn’t have any friends, did not know anyone there, but had to attend as a dutiful heir to an absent family. Even people that knew you pretended they didn’t, and you wondered if it had something to do with the way you look.

You did not even try to strike up conversation. In places like these, you could only speak if you were introduced by someone else. Although sitting alone was a common experience for you, looking at others socialising made you feel like an alien.

I just have to make it through a few hours, you told yourself as the loneliness brought forth a hint of a tear to your eye. You could do with anyone, just anyone, anyone to be there with you and speak to you. Just one friend.

Please.

As you could not bear the welling loneliness and embarrassing experience of sitting alone looking at either other people or your phone, you stood up from your seat and headed towards the balcony, only to bump into a tall, dashingly handsome, thin man, with violet eyes that matched the colour of your clothes. You felt like that couldn’t be a coincidence, and in his beauty, doubted if you had chosen your garb for that very purpose.

“Uh, sorry.” you spoke a little awkwardly, trying not to gawk at his eyes, politely moving aside to enter the relieving air of the balcony. You cursed yourself mentally for not knowing how to communicate in a more polished manner, but the view of the stars in the sky, the cool breeze, and the lack of other people made you forget those thoughts for a moment. But it was the darkness you loved the most, even if it was scary, it was empty. Devoid of souls.

Or so you thought.

As you leaned on the railing, you noticed that person beside you again, yelping from how he appeared out of nowhere.

The man chuckled. “Apologies if I scared you.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” You mentally cringed at your awkwardness again. But anyway, what was he doing back there? You thought perhaps you should be the one to start making conversation, so you introduced yourself. “Um, hi, I’m [name].”

“Adorable.” You realised he was staring at you, not even turning away when you looked at him to talk. It felt like he could see right through you, and if he looked away, it meant he was done reading. You regretted asking for a friend earlier, but didn’t have it in you to leave. Besides, he was cool, in a rat sort of way. “I’m Fyodor.”

He kept staring, and you couldn’t take it. “Why are you staring at me?”

“Because you’re beautiful, and I don’t understand what you’re doing here alone.” He finally looked away. “I never intended to make you uncomfortable.”

You didn’t have any meek ‘oh it’s completely okay’s in you left, so you decided to stay silent. You didn’t want him to leave, however, and kept thinking about him calling you beautiful. As for why you did not have a date, everyone you asked kept cancelling. It was strange, to say the least, and made you feel pathetic, so pathetic you couldn’t even tell Fyodor off because at least someone was speaking to you.

“So tell me, what are you doing in the balcony?”

“Getting air.” You lied, more eager to ask what he was doing there. “You?”

“Keeping an angel company.”

You blushed at the response, hating yourself for it. “You’re really direct.”

“It’s no secret I’d like to whisk you away from here.” He looked at you again, and so did you, his dark eyes glittering in moonlight, everything about his pale face perfect.

You didn’t realise how long you’d just been staring at each other, or when he closed the distance between the two of you, his lips feeling dry and somewhat chapped, but perfect, as you kissed him back, as if allowing him to drink from your own lips. His hands snaked around your waist, pulling you closer, as yours rested on his shoulders. Even though you were the one out of breath, he pulled away first, as if allowing you to breathe.

“Sorry.” He noticed. “You were just too… sweet.”

Maybe you had one more ‘oh it’s completely okay’ left in you, just for him. “Now, how about we go somewhere more private, and less… suffocating.”

“Please.”

#daaaarling guess who’s back from jaillll?#fyodor dostoevsky #bungou stray dogs #fics #fanfiction #bsd #Fyodor x reader #self insert fic #self indulgent #fluff

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cookinguptales · 5 months

Text

some feelings about wwdits under a cut, for negativity

WWDITS... I don't know. I don't think I've found the writing entirely fulfilling for a while now. s4 had its problems, but s5 was... let's just say not nearly as funny or cohesive as I would've liked, and the characterization has been... wandering, to put it kindly. Seeing it end now feels a little less like losing my favorite show and a little more like stopping it before things really start to spiral.

I remember someone asked me once post-s3 what (if anything) would make me stop watching the show, and I said Guillermo leaving for good or the characters becoming less supernatural. (i.e. Nandor becoming human for good or something.) I really hate shows where the characters become "normal" as a happy ending, so that's really my nightmare scenario. I'm not exaggerating when I say I think I'd literally rather the characters die than lose the spark that makes them interesting.

Honestly, I feel like that's probably a lot of what's made it hard for me to move forward with writing fic for wwdits after the s5 finale. It felt not only OOC for Guillermo but just... such a boring direction to take it. I feel like there were so many ways they could have made non-vampire Guillermo interesting and IC and they just. did not do that. Instead they ignored a lot of previous canon in order to cancel out an entire season while also trying to make us believe that Guillermo choosing humanity is a happy and fulfilling ending for anyone.

And when you look at characters like Laszlo... like they keep giving him plot lines that go absolutely nowhere. The poignancy of his adventures in fatherhood and his depression over losing his child were basically nowhere to be seen in s5. (I kept expecting them to tie it back to his loss over Baby Colin, like he was making Guillermo his new project because he wasn't coping well with losing his son, but they never really went there.) And then they have him doing all of these experiments in s5 that don't really amount to anything other than making it canon that he can't even remember what happened in s1.

(Or... the writers can't, at least...)

I don't know. When none of the plot lines they write are given weight, it's hard for me to give them weight. If none of the characters' choices matter because they'll just be reset anyway, why do I care about their choices? If entire plot lines are just going to go absolutely nowhere (when they're given endings at all) why should I get invested in them?

They set up a lot of interesting themes about found family, the supernatural world as a haven for those who are queer or otherwise socially othered, etc. and then had Guillermo outright choose the human world and his human family over the found family they'd been setting up for five seasons. Having Guillermo be okay with killing vampires but not humans (which... again, makes no sense with his behavior towards humans in the past, but I digress) basically explicitly tells us that he sees vampire life as lesser than human life and like ????? then how are we supposed to interpret the relationships and themes you've spent all this time building???

When you have Guillermo coming out as being gay and also wanting to be a vampire in the same breath and then have him reject that world, when you give these interviews talking about how making Guillermo and Nandor have [gay] sex would lessen their relationship... I don't know! It almost feels like they can't even keep track of their own themes and really do not care if they shit on the audience that's loyally followed them even through some really questionable writing decisions!

I guess at this point, I only worry that they really do see becoming human and leaving the supernatural world as being a happy ending for all these characters. Are they going to make the other vampires human, too? Are they going to have Guillermo leave for good and choose the human world?

Like it's literally my nightmare scenario. lmao.

I guess I just feel like I've been cutting wwdits a lot of slack because I assumed that the writers were going somewhere really interesting with these seemingly incomprehensible choices, but now that I've realized that they're really just... not great writing choices...

It'll be easier to let go, I guess. I don't have nearly the same emotional connection to this show that I did even six months ago, much less a year and a half ago. If you told me even a year ago that my reaction to my favorite show's cancellation would be "...oh..." I wouldn't have believed you. But. I guess here we are.

I keep trying to make myself feel the same love for this show that I did during the first three, three and a half seasons, and I'm just not sure I can do it. I've been going around in circles over this for months now, but I just feel kind of hollow when I reach for the joy that this show used to inspire in me. And now that I know it's ending soon, I guess my mind is just kind of going "well, I guess it'll all be over with soon, one way or another, and I'll finally be able to choose a way to feel about it all."

I think... honestly, I think the only way I can be happy writing fic going forward is if I write fic that actively ignores a lot of the canon developments. It's literally too fucking difficult to eke out coherent characterization from what they've been putting out lately, and maybe it would feel more fun and less like homework if I just stopped trying.

I really, really hope that the last season of this show is beautiful and gorgeous and funny and makes me remember exactly what I love about it just in time to mourn it forever. I hope that I will happily be able to write fics incorporating every ounce of canon and feel fulfilled by that. But... honestly speaking, at this point I'm just hoping that the last season doesn't actively piss me off. lmao

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#wwdits tag #to prevent it from going into the main tag lmao

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williamrikers · 8 months

Text

King of the Cardboard Castle

- thoughts on kanghan after episode 2 -

i just rewatched the episode (because it slaps so hard, i'm fully on board and invested in this show now), and i want to write a little something on kanghan because i see some people in the tag confused by his choices. why did he go to sailom's with a gun? why did he end up comforting sailom? i think it's all very understandable from his character's perspective.

so, to me, that cardboard castle tells us everything we need to know about kanghan: his power is an illusion, built on an unsteady foundation, and could be torn down at any moment. kang is intimately aware of this and does everything he can to try and consolidate the little power and influence he has by any means necessary.

why use a gun to threaten sailom?

but sailom isn't afraid or deferential. he never, EVER is.

kanghan needs to feel dominant. he needs to feel powerful, and literally the only guy at school who keeps defying him is sailom. sailom keeps coming out on top time and time again because he's smarter than kang and never actually starts shit, he just reacts to what's happening, making him basically immune to being ratted out to people in positions of authority. even kang's own grandmother sees through kang's shitty attempts at manipulation and chastises kang in front of the principal.

kanghan's only power is that over the kids at school, truly a king of a very small and incredibly meaningless kingdom. but it is effective in making him feel powerful: all of the other kids defer to kanghan or are openly terrified of him (we saw them all dutifully lining up to have the videos removed from their phones, none of them are ever going to challenge kang).

and kang resents that--has a deep need to put sailom in his place, because he wants that feeling of total power. he wants all of his classmates to defer to him, not just 90% of them. at this point, it's turned into an obsession for him: make sailom afraid just once. make him tremble before kang just once. make him get down on his knees JUST ONCE. (and no, there is no gay subtext at all to kang insisting again and again that sailom should get down on his knees. don't worry about it kanghan your secret gay fantasies are safe with me 😘)

like, he's tried everything else: threatening him physically, trying to get him fired from his job at the car wash, ACTUALLY getting him fired from his job tutoring, hurting his friends, trying to convince his grandmother to cancel his scholarship, taunting him about his home situation and lack of money, actually throwing money in his face/on the ground (from what i understand, a taboo in thailand). and none of it has worked to make sailom treat him with the respect and fear he thinks he deserves. sailom would rather have given up his scholarship than lie about what happened and wrongfully apologize to kang. at this point, i feel like kang is too far gone to be able to back out. he has set this goal for himself (humiliate sailom), and it's been eating his brain. he can't rest until he finally gets what he wants.

can i just put in a quick tangent in here gushing over CHIMON'S MICROEXPRESSIONS!!! god, this man is a joy to watch, just look at the money throwing scene in part 3/4; the depth of emotion chimon manages to convey with just the slightest changes of expression is incredible. i've said this before and i will say it again: chimon is one of the strongest actors on the gmmtv roster right now and i am in awe of his skill.

anyway, kang goes to sailom's house fully intent on humiliating him, but what he finds there is so much worse than any of his own bullying has managed to be. for all his talk, kanghan is not a particularly scary or successful bully: he's the king of the cardboard castle. his power is an illusion, propped up by his family name and his family's money. i don't think he would be capable of taking a hot iron and burning someone with it--the level of violence that sailom is subjected to (ON THE REGULAR, I MIGHT ADD) is completely out of kang's wheelhouse.

and i do think that at this point he genuinely feels for sailom. that he genuinely does feel sorry for him, because you can't be obsessed with someone to the point of going to their house with a gun without caring about them in some way. on the contrary, the kind of obsession kang has with sailom runs bone-deep, and i am absolutely team "kang is going to fall first and fall hard". he's already obsessed with the guy! he values sailom's emotional state in a way he doesn't anyone else's! (sure, initially it's because he wants to make sailom submit but all that obsessive energy has to go SOMEWHERE, right.)

seeing sailom cowering and crying does put things in perspective for kanghan, i think. the way he reaches out to him seems almost involuntary, the way he touches him is hesitant and unsure. but this does read as a very genuine and understandable reaction to me: no matter their differences at school, this is a person who kang knows and, in a twisted way, cares very much about. the normal human reaction at this point is to reach out, to offer comfort, no matter how you feel about the person. it would have been weirder to me if he hadn't, honestly.

also, a note on the use of "friend" by kang in this scene: i've seen people making a big deal out of this but it's absolutely not that deep. please correct me if i'm wrong but as i understand it, "puen" is also frequently used to refer to classmates/people in the same year at uni, no matter whether you're close to them or not. "friend" is just a translation choice which fits imo, because you wouldn't say "get away from my classmate" in english. you'd probably say "get away from my friend" instead, even if you're not really friends, and translation is also about what makes sense in the target language. so him saying that is not some big 180, he's basically just stating that he knows sailom from school.

anyway, where was i going with all of this? to me, kang's choices in this episode are all completely justified from his character's perspective. i neither find it odd that he tried to threaten sailom with a gun, nor that he ended up comforting sailom. because everything he is and claims to be is built on cardboard: the guy doesn't know himself. we know he has some deeply, DEEPLY repressed gay fantasies and that he gets obsessed with the first person to openly defy him because that threatens the stability of his cardboard castle. what if everyone realises that deep down, kanghan is a cringefail loser who is so starved for love and attention he would rather fill the hole in his heart with violence and cruelty than be honest about who he is? what if everyone finds out he's not as scary as he'd like to be?

the cardboard underneath kang is flimsy, and i'm pretty sure his castle is going to collapse pretty soon.

#i might love kang more than i thought. ended up writing an essay about it whoops #dangerous romance #dangerous romance the series #*mine

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lousymoonwalker · 1 year

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Why you (probably) didn't like Spider from Avatar TWOW

Social media is ruining the film industry in so many ways I couldn't begin to cover them all. I don't think this is a profound statement, but I want to explore my point in the context of Avatar The Way of Water, specifically with the character, Spider.

A few things that is becoming more apparent, due to social media:

1) General audiences can't tolerate cliff-hangers anymore. They're referred to as "plot holes" now. (Yes, I know lots of movies include actual plot holes, but actual cliff-hangers are getting called plot holes when they're two different things) (and sometimes, the writer of a story will specifically include unanswered questions, because our imaginations can be more intriguing and allows us to play "detective" and discuss, unanswered questions are not inherently bad, sometimes they're quite interesting). This leads to people wanting answers now, right now. We have a question, we search it and can get an answer basically immediately. When we can't find the answer immediately, we get upset.

2) Cancel Culture. - need I say more? (no, but I will anyway). This leads to one giant problem within the context of how social media is changing the film industry. People are actively trying to "cancel" characters, fictional characters or the authors of those characters for not aligning themselves as either a "good" or a "bad" character. Cancel culture is actively morphing our brains to think that if you make a mistake, you can never come back from it. That if you did something wrong, you are "toxic" and irredeemable. I can rant all day about cancel culture, but for now, just think about how it is shaping our tolerance of people. (Also, keep in mind that within the world of literature, film, art, etc. this topic comes up all the time about "morally grey characters" and is never something that is condemned, the only time this is a problem is when it makes its way onto social media sites)

So looking at these two points, we see that audiences don't like unanswered questions and they don't like morally grey characters.

I think Spider from Avatar TWOW is the most perfect example of a morally grey character out of the entire series. At least up to this point.

Everyone, even in the first movie ranges somewhere from either "Good" or "Bad" but, none of them are directly in the middle. I could argue that Mo'at, Norm, Neytiri, and Max are very good. Their intentions are always to be good. Quaritch and Selfridge are very bad. Their intentions are always to be bad. Jake is the most "grey" of all the characters in the original because of his internal conflict between wanting to fit in with the military again by spying on the Na'vi and slowly realizing he loves Pandora and the people and wants to help them. Even though he actively tries to help Quaritch in the beginning, I'd argue that his intentions are always "alright" I don't think he is ever on the "bad" side of the spectrum, although he starts off close to it, by the end, he solidifies himself as "good".

Then we have Spider.

My boy Spider is at the butt of everyone's jokes, all over TikTok and Instagram. The comments section is full of people just absolutely bashing him, hating him, making fun of him calling him a "Tarzan wannabe" and saying that he probably "sheds and smells like a wet dog". People have no sympathy for him, even some of those comments saying how they'll "never forgive him" or simply "hate him".

:Spoilers:

Spider is introduced as this lone human kid on Pandora, who hangs out with Jake and Neytiri's kids and has grown up with them. However, Neytiri has never accepted him. (A lot of people are mad at her about this because they say that he's just like Jake, which I would argue is not entirely correct because Neytiri was going to kill Jake (because she hates and distrusts humans) but Eywa chooses him for some reason and she's compelled to save him).

Spider is absolutely enthralled with the Na'vi culture. He speaks the language perfectly and paints himself with blue stripes. He genuinely loves and cares for the Na'vi despite being human.

Then, he gets captured and meets his dad, Quaritch. While it isn't entirely Quaritch, it is kind of his dad and he only agrees to leave with them on their mission because he doesn't want to be actively tortured by the scientists anymore. (I think that decision is understandable). Then, he gets to be the cultural ambassador of the Na'vi, translator, teacher, and guide as he spends more and more time with the military avatars and gets to be important to them. Then when all hell breaks loose, and he has to translate to a Metkayina village asking for Jake, he is visibly scared and desperately trying to help them and begs for Quaritch to stop terrorizing them. Then they burn down the village and take Spider with them, against his will.

Later, he gets the chance to fight and help in the end battle and he helps to wreck the ship, runs away like twice (?) before being successful thanks to Neteyam. Then is used as a pawn by Neytiri who threatens to kill him if Quaritch doesn't release Kiri. (This whole time, Spider is begging Quaritch to let Kiri go and to not hurt her).

But, for many viewers the nail in the coffin was when he saves Quaritch from drowning. He has seen the destruction caused by Quaritch, even if he doesn't know Quaritch's full history, he knows he burned down villages, staged the killing of a Tulkun, was willing to kill Lo'ak, Tuk, and Kiri all in an effort to hunt down and kill Jake.

But, I think the key moment was during the stand-off between Quaritch and Neytiri. For the first time in Spider's entire life (keep in mind he's like 16), an adult (a parental figure) stood up for him and showed genuine concern for him. Whether you like it or not, Neytiri has never liked him and Jake has never went out of his way to make him feel welcome. But now, in the heat of the moment, Quaritch, this big bad military man, stops what he's doing for fear of Spider's well-being.

Between the wreckage, Spider and Lo'ak were trying to find Jake. But, Spider happens upon Quaritch, who is at the edge of death. Then this, sixteen-year-old kid, sees this man just went out of his way to save Spider's life a few minutes before and now this man is about to die. Spider had to make a split-second decision and he made it. He saved Quaritch from drowning, then immediately leaves him and joins the Sully's.

I think Spider's intentions change from "I love the Na'vi, I basically am Na'vi" to "This father figure isn't too bad" to "I get to be helpful and important to someone" "oh no, what are you doing?" to "you saved my life, I'll save yours"

I CANNOT, overstate how much I love morally grey characters, they are so much fun to analyze and there's nothing worse than a plain "static" character. Give me a dynamic character with conflicting motivations. The reason I think Jake never went into the "bad" intentions side was because he genuinely was blind to the Na'vi at the beginning, but the more he learns, the more his actions reflect the newfound love and respect. Whereas Spider knows all about the Na'vi, and he loves and looks up to them, he was basically raised by the Sully family. I'm sure he is smart enough to understand that the humans and military avatars are "bad" with bad intentions. So when he starts to give into that side those intentions start to shift and his character becomes more and more grey.

And people on social media simply cannot compute. Cancel him! people cry. Screw him! He's the worst character ever! I can smell him through the screen!

People don't like that he did some bad things so the masses cry out, "bad! Bad! He's a bad character"

I'm not saying that I absolutely loved him, but I did like his character and I think he'll play a bigger role in the next film. He's a conflicted 16 year old, dynamic, character. I'm excited to see where his character goes from here.

But please, stop letting social media trick you into thinking that people are "good" or "bad". Not a single person on this planet can be accurately described as simply "good" or "bad". People are dynamic.

And for the love of everything, just because you don't have all the answers handed to you on a little silver plate, doesn't mean that the story had plot holes and is objectively bad. Unanswered questions and cliff-hangers can be very effective if done well.

People are fighting to not have to think on their own and form their own thoughts and opinions, because what if my opinion isn't a popular one or is the wrong one????

We don't know what is going to happen with Spider, but now, we can theorize and discuss until the next film comes out.

Anyways, I won't tolerate Spider slander anymore unless you can formulate an actual genuine reason to not like him besides, "he's bad", "he sucks", or "I bet he stinks".

#leave my boy alone #avatar #avatar way of water #avatar twow #jake sully #spider #spider socorro #quaritch #na'vi #morally grey characters #james cameron #social media is ruining y'all #avatar 2009 #avatar 2

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