#love is being seen and known

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | gen | wc: 846 | cw: none | tags: established relationship, soft boys being soft | @steddielovemonth prompt: Love is being seen and known by @acasualcrossfade)

It's a quiet Sunday afternoon in late May, the sun streaming in through the living room windows and bathing them in its warm light.

His head is in Eddie's lap and Eddie's fingers are running through his hair in that soothing way that makes Steve feel closer to sleep than awake. Everything is soft and hazy, like a dream he never wants to wake up from.

Everything could be perfect.

Everything is perfect, really.

Everything except the voice in his head. It speaks in different tongues to better disguise itself, making it harder for Steve to get rid of it.

Sometimes it sounds like his grandfather telling him to go somewhere else to eat like a goddamn pig when Steve ate his chicken legs with his hand and got grease on himself.

Other times it's his mom telling the neighbor that Steve wasn't the brightest kid, but at least he was good at sports.

Often it is his father's voice asking him why he is such a disappointment.

On his bad days, it is Nancy's voice reminding him that his love is bullshit, that he is bullshit.

Eddie helps. Most days he makes the voices go away, or at least helps him quiet them.

But not today.

Today Steve woke up to a bad day.

That's why they canceled their plans to go to the Hopper-Byers' for a family picnic and decided to spend their Sunday on the couch instead, just the two of them.

That's why Steve is biting back the questions he's been dying to ask for hours. It's too much to ask, too raw, too needy. It would be like cutting himself open and showing Eddie the emptiness inside where a real person should be.

That's why he breaks so easily when Eddie looks down at him with a soft, adoring smile on his face and kisses the tip of Steve's nose.

Just like that. Like it's nothing. Like it's everything.

Like it's love.

"Why?" It bursts out of him like hot magma from an erupting volcano, spilling out of his mouth and leaving scorched earth in its wake.

Brown eyes widen in surprise, clearly not expecting a natural disaster in their living room.

"Why what, Stevie?" He asks, his fingers stopping their soothing ministrations, and Steve begins a tally of the casualties. That's one.

"Why are you doing this?" Steve demands, unable to contain the outburst. "Treating me like... like I'm something worth treating with so much care and gentleness? You canceled the picnic today like it's no big deal, but I know how excited you've been all week about your little campaign with the kids. Just because I'm too weak to handle a bad day. Why are you not angry? Why... why...?"

Why are you still here?

He can't say it, can't ask it, too afraid of the answer.

But Eddie hears it anyway, can see through Steve and his bullshit as if he were made of glass.

"Because I love you, Steve."

Steve hates that it sounds so simple when Eddie says it like that.

"But why?"

Steve scrambles into an upright position, can't bear to have this conversation lying down. He needs to be able to run and hide, to get away so he can lick his wounds.

Some of these thoughts must show on his face, or maybe it's just the way Eddie has learned to read him like an open book. Those dark chocolate eyes Steve loves to get lost in go impossibly soft as they take him in, and Eddie's calloused hands are so, so gentle as they grip Steve's own, as if Eddie is afraid he'll break him with one wrong move.

"There is no why, Stevie. I love you because I have to. Because there is no other way to exist in a world with you in it. No why, any more than there's a reason your hair does that floppy thing no matter how hard you try to tame it. Or why a gaggle of middle schoolers imprinted on you like ducklings, so now we're co-parenting them."

Eddie brings both of Steve's hands to his mouth and kisses them reverently before placing them on his own cheeks, silently asking Steve to hold him.

And Steve does, as if Eddie is the most precious thing he's ever held in his hands.

"Some days I felt like I wasn't even real, you know? Like I was imaginary, and if people stopped believing I was real, I would just disappear. So I invented myself every day so other people wouldn't have to. It was like who I really was was secondary to what I wanted everyone else to see. But not you. You saw me. You knew me, from the beginning. I can't really explain it any better than that. You make me real. And I love you. And there is no why, only a how. I love you like you're real too."

The voices in his head do not magically disappear, but when Steve kisses Eddie, he begins to feel like a real person, too.

#steddie #steddie fanfiction #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddielovemonth #day 5 #love is being seen and known #my writing

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween! #digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone. #I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen. #Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture. #Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen. #The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers. #My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene. #The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined. #It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change - #You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts- #You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember. #WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

[theprofoundcosmos]

"There's still part of me left for you."

— I Wrote This For You, Lain S. Thomas

i will add credits and stuff as soon as possible! i am currently going insane <3 this makes sense to Me

#☆ my web weaves #web weaves #web weaving #webweave #webweaves #web weave #webweaving #poetry #web weave poetry #poetry blog #poetry sideblog #on yearning #yearn #on been seen #on being known #on knowing #on love #on love as an ending #on love as a beginning #on love as everything #web weavings

[thronealigned]

no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met' #and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more* #if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't. #so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN. #very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. #and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell. #ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

[svtskneecaps]

see everyone worried and fretted and panicked and yet quesadilla island looked at pepito and went

#qsmp #qsmp pepito #this post is not about roier's parenting i PROMISE you don't need to defend your cubito #this is literally about pepito being bobbled between caretakers #bad etoiles foolish forever bagi pac and more that i just haven't seen #just. people who have shown an interest and desire to hang out with pepito and keep pepito safe #pepito went to find parents and look!! look!!! #listen. listen. to me the qsmp is about love. not mystery not roleplay not drama not plot. #the qsmp is at its ABSOLUTE best when it is People Talking To Each Other #purgatory was AMAZING for me as a bolas viewer bc if bolas was in the server THEY WERE IN A CALL they were CONSTANTLY talking and i THRIVED #people adopting each other into their fake families in the most middle school childlike wondrous form of love there is #when you like your friend so much they're your fake spouse. your fake child. your fake parent. your fake sibling. #eggs and parents that's LOVE tubbo and fred that's LOVE tazercraft and walter bob that's LOVE; cellbit and roier; phil and missa #baghera and bad and forever; bad and bagi; pierre and maxo; maxo and EVERYTHING his son his daughter his partner the theory bros #favela six that's LOVE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SERVER EVEN ELENA WHO WE'VE KNOWN FOR AN HOUR IS ABOUT LOVE. HER PARTNER IS HER DRIVE. #jaiden's story is driven by LOVE the hole from the love of her son and chasing cucurucho's 'love' in return it's LOVE it's UNDERSTANDING #there's so much love and i'm biased to my povs but holy shit i will repeat it until y'all roll your eyes seeing me on the dash #like NOT THIS ANIME POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BULLSHIT AGAIN no i'm right u can't fight me #block game brainrot #shut up vic

[jjands]

so i watched alien stage life? changed. day? ruined. brain? ivantill.

#alien stage #another thing to occupy my brain and no irl friends to brainrot over #alnst ivan #alnst till #ivantill #watching round 1 really shook me but round 6 being the last one i saw had this huge impact #storytime ive actually seen one or two alnst vids before but i had no context so i couldnt get myself to care and finish watching #but i finally decided to watch from round 1 and now im devastated #also super intrigued by hyuna and friends ive only known them for an hour and i love them #m

[anouri]

pleadingly, all i ask for is one thing: to be seen, to be understood, or to be revered.

brideshead revisited // the affliction // l’amore, la morte, e il sogno // juliet // the picture of dorian gray // gas leak // unloveable // crush // the tale of cupid & psyche // come the slumberless to the land of nod

#to be truly seen #the mortifying ordeal of being known #the very act of my wanting it was an assurance that i would not get it #web weaving #mine #cupid and psyche #traci brimhall #brideshead revisited #the picture of dorian gray #richard siken’s crush has altered my brain chemistry #richard siken #to love despite one’s flaws is to carve away a piece of them and decide that that portion is not worthy

[defeateddetectives]

what if i was glad you were obscured from my view because even if i cant bridge the distance between us the thought that i might understand you better than i'd expected to hurts far too much to think about

vs.

what if i tried in a small secret moment while you were sleeping and couldnt see me to see the world through your eyes in hopes it could help me understand you and maybe even bridge the distance between us

#AND THE WAY THE TWO MOMENTS ARE BACK TO BACK??? #the way it's always about seeing and being seen and the risks and perils and rewards and status and identity of it #the mortifying ordeal of being known of it all #(also its literally always about the haaaands but thats a sob session for another day!) #i have another migraine and apparently my suffering is now linked in a pavlovian way with disinhibited rambling about them again #so this is me making lemonade or whatever. as one does!!! #fifty years later i'll come back to this arc with even newer strings connecting the dots on that charlie day meme #(the dots spell out that they're in love btw. in case anyone was wondering #) #natsume problems #horrible exorcists

[qpjianghu]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook ~ ep. 31

All these years, he's always been alone. You are the only friend I've ever seen him with.

#mysterious lotus casebook #li lianua #feng duobing #this scene wrecked me six ways from sunday #because llh continues to lie to him CONSTANTLY #but fdb understands that it's who llh is #how llh MUST be in order to LIVE with himself #and fdb is willing to put up with a llh who lies through his teeth rather than a lxy who is honest about himself #because then at least he'll be with a LLH who is ALIVE #and whenever llh talks about lxy being dead he means it #he cannot phyiscally live with the reality of who his past self was and what he did #so fdb expressing here that he doesn't need to know every inch of llh #is the greatest expression of love and acceptance I've ever seen #it's a devastating and bittersweet inverse of #the mortifying ordeal of being known #and I think I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now #(PS llh's heartbreaking little smile at the end is maybe the most sincere expression of happiness we've ever seen from him and I AM NOT OK)

[tweetsongs]

HE REACHED OUT. IS THE THING. HE REACHED FOR LOVE EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT'S WHAT IT WAS. IT DIDN'T SAVE ANYONE (except for one person, once, in the beginning. except for those that loved him, and were saved by that love). IT DIDN'T FIX ANYTHING (but it did create everything. the story, the characters, the end of the world, the dream that remains despite it all). IT DIDN'T CHANGE THE ENDING (but for the hands that wrote it. every scar, every callus, every voice that came together and believed that it could turn out differently). BUT THE LOVE WAS THERE, IN THAT STORY, FOR THAT READER, AND IT MATTERED TO HIM, AND HE MATTERED TO THE WORLD.

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #hi hello yes im so normal right now why :) #it's about kdj being saved by a story. but no. he was saved by a person. small hands that created the world for him. #large hands that did not know yet what they were shaped to hold #so much love poured into words. into a story to tell a child that he is seen #it's about kdj and od both being seen. always. always. they wanted to be known. they were known. #the gentlest saddest cruelest gods in the universe screaming for help #not knowing how many hands were desperately trying to reach them

[fucky-oureyes]

having dissociative identity disorder and getting into malevolent is so funny in the best way possible. whilst Obviously the form of plurality depicted in malevolent isn't DID, it still is a form of plurality, and so they still have many similarities. whenever i listen to john and arthur bickering i just fucking cackle because no yeah this is just The Plural Experience. just 2 seconds ago some fucker in my head yelled at me for making a decision they didn't want me to.

it's also funny because like a lot of the most compelling parts of jarthur are just an everyday part of most of my absolute closest relationships because they mirror those of me and my headmates NDISBSKSBSKSSNKSSMSMS.

#my thoughts #textposts #malevolent #i love this podcast so fucking much i just started season 2. i've NEVER felt so seen by a piece of media the jarthur relationship #is Literally how i act with like half of my headmates NDISBSKSNSKSNSNAMA #there's an intense level of intimacy and trust and being known and understood and seen when it comes to relationships with ppl who you share #a mind with that it's very hard to replicate with people who are Out Of Your Mind. tbh. i'm glad that the jarthur relationship captures it #so well

[transingthoseformers]

...

TFA Megatron calling Optimus "Little prime"

#maccadam #transformers #transformers animated #tfa megatron #tfa optimus prime #megop #ohhhohoh this is certainly for developing megop reasons #I've seen ''my warlord'' used towards megs before so there's that #this is making me remember a really good decepticon! optimus fic which has interesting plot implications #even though it's a blatant pwp (which i still love it for) but the idea of oppy being a high ranking decepticon is interesting #and in the fic it's suggested he's been so for a //while//_ but not that it's well known yet?

[amaraudermind]

Something something Bruce love Gotham because it's his home, jason loves Gotham because it's in his soul, Duke loves Gotham because it's his family, Steph loves Gotham on purpose

#the void screams #duke thomas #bruce wayne #jason todd #stephanie brown #each member of the batfam having a complicated relationship with gotham is something that can be so personal- #but yeah bruce loves gotham because this is where his family has always lived. leaving would mean leaving them behind. #he loves gotham because it's the only home he's ever known #i don't know what fucked up tether there is between gotham and jason. compells me though. #even when he leaves he can't stay away along. gotham's in his head. in his soul. it's where he's alive and it's where his life is drained #the people of gotham are duke's family and he wants to protect them the way they've always tried to protect him #the city is the people and duke knows these people. he's one of them. he's seen what they go through to survive because #he goes through it too. he loves gotham because it's his whole world. his family. and he'll protect that family #until he dies. #steph though? steph grew up here and hated it. hated the city. resented the people. resented the heroes. #and still every fibre of her being goes into loving this city. into hoping for it. #on purpose. she's going to love this city on purpose. even when it hurts. even when she'd rather die. #even when the whole CITY turns against her. time and again. because she's already decided. #she's going to love gotham. even if gotham never loves her back. #don't mind me i am just rambling nonsensically. i am right though by the way. it doesn't make sense but it's Correct

[amicus-siderum]

I love the headcanon that Kaeya's corset is actually a back brace

In general I just love the idea that Kaeya has chronic pain and illness.

He's already got an eye patch! Yeah his eye "is fine" apparently, but it was hurt in The Fight™ with Diluc, and you know what Diluc fights with? Fire and a claymore. I'm not an eye expert but I'm pretty sure being hit in the eye with fire will cause at the very least some lasting damage. Canonically Kaeya can can still see out of it, so perhaps severe light sensitivity, maybe blurry vision to the point of vertigo.

But something about the corset being a back brace is near and dear to my heart. I love it! I've read it in so many fics and all these amazing writers come up with so many different reasons he need it, and I think it's lovely (lmfao I sound like a sadist).

Did he get it during The Fight™ when Diluc's burst slammed him into a rock, rendering him unable to move away fast enough before the next attack?

Did he get it when they were teenagers, when protecting his brother and captain from an incoming attack, making Diluc overly protective of him in the ranks for a good while, because gods know Kaeya himself had no self-preservation instinct and would do it again without hesitation?

Did he get it even earlier, when they were mere children, falling off the winery's roof because him and his brother were being silly little boys who didn't know better than to climb so high when playing pirates?

#i just love that headcanon #i think its important to have characters with pains illnesses and disabilities because theyre far more common than such media makes us thin #and this headcanon in particular fits the character so well #Keaya is known for 'slacking' but he's also seen as a great hard worker by some (namely Jean (his literal boss)) #so maybe all that 'slacking' is really just him taking it easy and y'know coping and trying to stay awake and okay #and also hes one of the smartest and most tactical people in Mondstadt (being quartermaster and all) #and corsets even when fitted perfectly come with some movement limitations #so why would Kaeya purposefully give himself that disadvantage if it wasn't absolutely necessary?? #i just think it a neat little headcanon #my communal stash of kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #ragbros

[jules-and-company]

one thing about me is that i’m an orestes-electra-pylades defender. if you don’t hear them being defended anymore that means i am deceased

#something something about them being linked forever #none of them being redeemable all of them being innocent #about this sister who was refused love all her life and who kept it all inside her to give it to her little brother #who loves him so much that the lines blur and we don't know if she's sister ; mother ; father ; or lover even #because who could love him more than she does ? #about this brother who grew up with nothing but rage #rage towards this man he was given to ; that man ready to sell him into slavery #rage towards his mother who got rid of him #rage even towards this father that he has to kill for despite never having known him #rage towards the gods who set up his own curse and let him suffer for a good long while #and apollo did not tell him that no holy ritual will ever truly wash all the blood from his hands #but despite all this rage has chosen to love #to love this sister that he only knew the name of #and who welcomed him with more warmth than three suns combined #who had more fight in her than him and who urged him to do them justice #that's why he did not really hesitate when he killed clytemnestra #because he had seen his sister - a princess - reduced to rags and is skin on bone #and about this friend who became the definition of devotion #who voluntarily chose to follow his friend whom he knew was damned #chose to share the burden of killing with him #and who followed him on every corner of the earth they went to #and i know those three took such gentle care of each other #i know that electra and pylades both refused to go to sleep while the other tends to orestes having his fits of delirium caused by erinyes #yes their hands are bloody #but it's the same blood that's running through their three hearts attached by a red string #and the red of blood looks a lot like the red of love #electre/oreste #classics

[carnation-damnation]

I have sooo many thoughts about Rouge. Of all the main Sonic cast we know the least about her. She's a stealthy spy. She worked for the president despite being a thief and probably a double agent in that case?? She's extremely cunning. She's capable of detecting the emeralds despite not having that innate connection with them like Knuckles can.

In her theme there's a persistent sense that she doesn't like to be helped or controlled, possibly. She's searching for something she can call her own and that can only be hers. Nobody else can take it from her.

There's this sense in sa2 that she doesn't trust who she's working with, exactly. She doesn't show it by being cold like Shadow would, for instance, but she puts on this air of professionalism despite sometimes not thinking ahead (Giving herself 5 minutes to find 3 chaos emeralds despite it originally being fifteen and getting her locked in a vault as a result.) And this shows in her empathy and compassion. She doesn't show it as openly as somebody like Amy but she clearly cares and finds herself affected by the relationships she's gained since her introduction. She's probably told herself that she doesn't need anybody, that she can do everything by herself, she doesn't need to lean on anybody for help but she forms Team Dark herself.

#longpost #going bonkers. Love u guys <3 #Shes seen as the most mature of the sonic cast despite being a teenage girl (18) and so clearly silly. Look into her eyes the silly #Is in there. #Anyway yeah. #da aura of mystery around rouge t bat <3333333333 #be nice to me I dont usually talk abt sth lore bc its so. everything #but I LOVE coming up with backstories for characters that dont have one <3 #I also think white jungle is the turning point in her character for sa2. as I always do #This little weird bioweapon kid risked everything to save your life off an island set to blow up #Despite the circumstances being your fault #sure he needed the emeralds. but something about rouge reminded him of maria. his best friend. his family. #Rouge may not know that exactly. but at the end the first thing she says when sonic comes back after the boss? #'wheres shadow?' #she doubts the perception of his original purpose. to destroy humanity. because thats not what shes known of him.