#chose to share the burden of killing with him

[jules-and-company]

one thing about me is that i’m an orestes-electra-pylades defender. if you don’t hear them being defended anymore that means i am deceased

#something something about them being linked forever #none of them being redeemable all of them being innocent #about this sister who was refused love all her life and who kept it all inside her to give it to her little brother #who loves him so much that the lines blur and we don't know if she's sister ; mother ; father ; or lover even #because who could love him more than she does ? #about this brother who grew up with nothing but rage #rage towards this man he was given to ; that man ready to sell him into slavery #rage towards his mother who got rid of him #rage even towards this father that he has to kill for despite never having known him #rage towards the gods who set up his own curse and let him suffer for a good long while #and apollo did not tell him that no holy ritual will ever truly wash all the blood from his hands #but despite all this rage has chosen to love #to love this sister that he only knew the name of #and who welcomed him with more warmth than three suns combined #who had more fight in her than him and who urged him to do them justice #that's why he did not really hesitate when he killed clytemnestra #because he had seen his sister - a princess - reduced to rags and is skin on bone #and about this friend who became the definition of devotion #who voluntarily chose to follow his friend whom he knew was damned #chose to share the burden of killing with him #and who followed him on every corner of the earth they went to #and i know those three took such gentle care of each other #i know that electra and pylades both refused to go to sleep while the other tends to orestes having his fits of delirium caused by erinyes #yes their hands are bloody #but it's the same blood that's running through their three hearts attached by a red string #and the red of blood looks a lot like the red of love #electre/oreste #classics

[oatmealuv]

love for love’s sake carefully, and beautifully handled mental health. they didn’t sugar coat the depression myungha and yeowoon were experiencing.

a lot of times in bl we see characters going through hardships, but by the magic of love they’re better again or everything gets fixed. external love definitely plays a huge part in healing and being able to get through hard situations more swiftly, but it’s hardly ever the sole solution.

myungha getting a bf didn’t cure him, gaining friends didn’t cure him. he had two guys wrapped around his finger, his grandma was alive yet he still has low self worth. he’s someone that has been depressed for so long, has had deeply ingrained negative beliefs about himself that have kept him from ever being truly happy. he believes that nobody could ever love him, he can’t bother anybody with his problems because he’s a burden.

this is why depressed people isolate, they believe all of the things the depression is telling them and it is incredibly difficult to change that. it can take years to change the way you percieve yourself and the world, i think the buffs were the blockages in myungha’s perception. when yeowoon said “i love you” to him, there was an error message because deep in his soul he believes that as an impossibility. his buffs were because of his attempts to getting close to yeowoon, he saw it as a danger because getting close would mean that he would burden yeowoon.

myungha’s life was so so sad, poor guy was dealt such bad cards. his mom living happily without him as if he never existed served as proof of the negative things he’s been telling himself. realizing that you’re nothing to no one, that you’re hard to love or you’re too much is such a hard pill to swallow. it might not be objectively true, but if your mind believes it, then that’s all it takes to completely break your spirit. myungha kills himself because he sees no reason for his life, his mom abandoned him, his gf broke up with him, and his grandmother is dead. his reason for life is reliant on other people it isn’t an internal reason.

now when he’s in the game, he’s faced with the choice of who he loves more, yeowoon or his grandma. i think that they decide to make him choose between them because he can’t fathom receiving love from two people at once. it’s overwhelming, and terrifying for someone that has had limited quantities of love his whole life. his love for yeowoon is the truest love he’s ever felt besides his grandmother. yeowoon and myungha are equals, share a lot of similar life experiences, yeowoon opens up his heart and is ready to be there for him unconditionally. even when myungha refuses to share what he’s feeling, when he is actively breaking his heart, he is willing to change whatever it takes just to be around him. having someone show you that unconditional love is both incredible and so scary at the same time. that person is seeing you at your most vulnerable, at your worst and still choosing you.

myungha is used to self-abandonment, it’s all he knows. he felt like choosing yeowoon would mean choosing himself, and in turn would mean he is selfish and leaving is grandmother to die. if he chose his grandmother he would stick to his usual self, but yeowoon would possibly go back to how he was in the beginning and die. to him everything seems like a huge risk because he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders. of course in the game that really was the consequence, choose one life over another. but i think this show really did a great job at showing just how impossible choices can be when you’re depressed, how warped your point of view gets. but i couldn’t help to think what would’ve happened if he had chosen himself, maybe that’s what he was supposed to do.

#very nuanced portrayal of depression #myungha is someone i deeply relate to and the last couple of episodes broke my heart #love is beautiful yet so so difficult to accept into your life sometimes #myungha x yeowoon #myungha #yeowoon #lfls #love for love's sake #thai series #thai bl #it just reminded me a lot of previous therapy sessions i’ve had #braindump for sure but most definitely will write more on this show

[sarioh]

rio i miss and love you and your analysis posts. what are your thoughts on the clethubs dynamic this season (in anticipation of the new episode tmrw)

hi aleph thank you so much for giving me a green flag to just drop a 1000 word rant about clethubs also sorry i missed the deadline and also sorry about the length. anyways personally i think clethubs is what you get when you put 3 people who are burdened with Remembering in a world where no one else really seems to. like, of course the other players remember and make references to events of the past, but they don’t remember in the way these three do.

to me this is best explained through a breakdown of Trust and how it manifests between each of them indiviudally. etho, especially, is so distrusted by most of the server. he’s a schemer, he has a reputation of being really unreadable and also unpredictable, but if you actually try to understand him it’s really easy to see that he’s actually the most straightforward person alive. he operates purely on debts and repayments. not debts in a trade sense—those are a business transaction and subject to being logically dissected and exploited. but debts in an emotional sense. etho offered grian mercy in limited life because of the diamond sword in episode 1, which grian had forgotten about entirely all the while etho had been biding his time and waiting for a chance to repay it all season.

cleo is the only person on the server who seems to really understand this part of etho, and therefore is the only person who seems to be able to read his true intentions. not only that, but she's the only one who really seems to approach the concept of loyalty in the same way. in the life series, alliances are feeble and fleeting, and for the most past actions hold no bearing in the future. it doesn’t matter what happened 5 episodes ago—if you’re not on my side now, you’re against me. there’s no such thing for cleo—loyalty and betrayal are not just momentary states of being. if you took something dear from me 5 episodes ago, i will never fully allow myself to need you again. even if we're in the final five and our survival depends on each other.

cleo and etho were direct antagonists in the last season and have no reason to trust each other now, but they trust openly despite it because better than most they understand the burden of a debt unpaid, and the burden of remembering in a way that no one else seems to. to them, loyalty isn’t about who you arbitrarily align yourself with, it’s a gesture. it’s “you gave me an extra pair of diamond leggings 3 episodes ago for no reason when you could’ve given it to your allies and now you have no idea that youre in my good books forever.” you can be on opposites ends of a war from someone but if they extend you a moment of mercy, well, how are you supposed to forget that? how are you not supposed to spend the rest of your life repaying that? they both subconsciously keep lists, not just of people they want to kill (like so many other players seem to), but of people who have extended a hand to them in a time where it didn't really make sense to. of gestures that were silently meaningful towards people they care about. "i trust you because bdubs trusted you" etc etc.

it makes so much sense that cleo and etho would both go immediately to becoming sworn allies this season after being bitter enemies in the previous series. because they both understand that there’s no such thing as fleeting alliances, and when they've decided to choose each other, it’s more than just a shared base or a team name—it’s something unshakable. it’s a thousand debts you take turns repaying.

and then theres bdubs, where remembering takes a different form entirely. for him, remembering manifests as shared history. if i chose you before, really chose you, then i’m going to choose you again and again and again. i’m going to hover in your orbit even if you don’t choose me the next time, because you and i both know what we had, even if we’re not supposed to acknowledge it. “that was a different universe, this is a different world. you’re just cleo” but i’m going to spend the rest of the episode hovering longingly by your base anyways. “this is our old thing, if it comes down to it we don’t betray each other” because the loyalty created its roots years ago and has been growing out of control ever since. you ask bdubs where his team is and he shifts uncomfortably and refuses to explicitly call them his allies, insisting that they just showed up around him but he's not really sure.

and just like etho, the other players never fully trust bdubs. he’s fickle with his loyalty and seems to be a split decision away from turning on his friends at any second, but cleo and etho both know that’s not really true either. their trust towards him comes from that Remembering, that fundamental understanding of shared history.

for etho, it’s the push and pull. it’s the knowing that we go so far back that what happens in between never really matters. you got caught in an explosion or a trap that i set in your base? well, good thing we have a hundred more lives to play with so we can just laugh it off like we always do. a stray explosion or a firing squad aren’t an act of betrayal, any more than a mocking comment about your height or a casual threat of violence. and when it really matters, we both know we’d put down our swords.

for cleo, it’s something unshakeable. bdubs, the known traitor of 3rd life, was fiercely protective of her and her alone. so she’s never wary of him the same way anyone else is—she knows that when bdubs really chooses you, then you’re marked for life.

so yeah. clethubs is three guys who share the burden of remembering. and also have some kind of unspoken understanding of each others motives and intentions that no other player seems to have concretely picked up on. but in a way that ultimately just culminates in them acting like freaks around each other and not actually making any direct effort to team mostly because, as usual, etho and bdubs have no idea how to communicate their intentions directly and sincerely like normal people and instead opt to hover in the fringes of each others alliances and make really weird and loaded comments . Anyways

#um this is so long. and also so meandering and makes no sense probably #also realizing i kinda missed the point of ur question you said this season. i just made a general clethubs rant #i havent made an analysis post in like years but i hope this makes sense anyways. i think about them a lot #i have a fever sorry #also HI ALEPH I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TOO #clethubs

[ineffectualdemon]

It didn't feel right to add it to the post I just reblogged but one of the many things that sticks with me is that no only is Frodo distinctly NOT a "Chosen One" he instead is the one who chooses his quest despite not really wanting to...but no one else wants him to choose this either

Gandalf, Elrond, Aragorn, his fellow hobbits and so on do not want this small, gentle, already gravely injured hobbit, to take on this dangerous journey that will almost certainly end in death

They see him dying on this quest as the tragedy it should be seen

But once he has made this choice they all also choose to take on the quest with him

They do not try to take it off him. They understand why he made the choice and they know he's right, but they would not have made him go.

Aragorn is the closest thing to a Chosen One and he still had to make the Choice to go on his side quest, but ultimately he did it to help Frodo

Sam and Frodo finish physically carrying the ring to Mount Doom and they absolutely are the heart of the quest. The One Who Chose and the One Who Chose Him

But the others, though seperate and dispersed, are also helping them carrying this burden and aiding their quest

Their moves are calculated and accidental in keeping Sauron's eye away from Frodo

And each time it's a choice

The closest we get to a prophecy is:

1. a dream Boromir or Faramir had (I cant remember which rn. I am sick, haven't been able to sleep, and currently have a mild fever) which only says that a hobbit and the ring are at Elrond's house. Not what to do about that.

2. "No man can kill me" referring to the witch king but that wasn't supposed to be solved by gender fuckery with Eowyn. Gandalf was supposed to do it! He says so! But he chooses to save Faramir and Eowyn and Merry choose to attack and successfully take down the Witch King

Everything that happens. Every heroic and brave and significant happening was not a matter of prophecy or "chosen ones" or "fate"

It was a choice

People choosing to do things they do not want and do not like and cause them to suffer...because they believe they put things right. And they succeed because it's a community, in different parts, doing different things, but all making choices that support their shared goal

And I'm a little feverish but I have a lot of feelings about that rn

#lotr #lord of the rings

[nanomooselet]

The Couch Did Nothing Wrong

There's something everyone tends to misunderstand, about martyrdom.

You don't become a martyr against your will. It has to be a conscious choice between renouncing your faith and keeping your life, or remaining faithful and being put to death. It's not just dying, even if it’s in service of faith. It has to be a decision.

It has to be a willing sacrifice. You have to, consciously, purposefully, choose surrendering your life over renouncing your faith.

I do not think people are realising just how profound Wolfwood's devotion to Vash had become. How truly he believed in Vash. How deeply they loved and were devoted to each other.

Because Wolfwood truly did not want to die. And yet he chose to in Vash's name.

Wolfwood loved Vash and his ideals so much that they became his reason to live, and then he accepted death to uphold them. Vash would never have asked that of him. Vash apologised for judging Wolfwood for killing when his willingness to do so saved innocent lives, told Wolfwood his ideals were a burden Wolfwood wasn't required to bear.

Instead, his death was something Wolfwood had to request.

Do you accept this offering?

And Vash had to give him permission.

I do.

His proposal accepted, Wolfwood took up everything he had left, his body and spirit, the life he could have had, the welcome home he always yearned for - and he purposefully set them aside in the name of Vash's ideals. He was obedient unto death.

It's so painful. Vash is devastated, openly howling and weeping in anguish. But he had to let it to happen because it was Wolfwood's choice. That's why when he prays it's not answered. And it's why Wolfwood tells him, with his final words, to smile - because he has no regrets. He chose this. He chose Vash. Don't blame yourself, tongari. You look better when you smile.

It is absolutely a wedding. There's literally no other way for the whole series of events to be properly understood otherwise. The passion and devotion of Wolfwood's sacrifice leaves me standing back in genuine awe.

Because to live outside of Christ is to die, and to die in Christ is to live.

Wolfwood entered the story as a dead man, and then realised he wanted to live. Vash wanted to share all his tomorrows with Wolfwood - and he will. Because martyrdom?

Can be how you become a saint.

And this is why Vash burned through his power to protect Wolfwood's body. Because Knives may consume everything else in his madness and fear and vengeance, but he doesn't get to even come close to touching this. This is sacred. This is a holy relic. This is something that belongs only to Vash.

A sinner like Knives is unworthy.

#trigun maximum #trigun spoilers #trigun meta #nicholas d. wolfwood #an intercessor specifically #like. this about recognition of exceptional holiness and closeness to God #tbh #vashwood #it's perfect #like i ain't even mad #The Couch Did Nothing Wrong

[skania]

Some of the things people say about Akane make me wonder if there's an alternative version of the manga out there somewhere.

Akane doesn't want what's best for Aqua, she's just an enabler—

All Akane has wanted to do all along is help Aqua the same way he helped her. When Aqua told her that his goal was to kill someone, Akane said she would help because she realized that the best way to support Aqua was to share his burden with him, so he won't feel all alone anymore.

(Spoilers for the most recent chapters under the cut!)

Just like Akane herself said, it has nothing to do with right or wrong. It's all about being by Aqua's side and carrying that burden with him, so that he won't have to endure the pain alone.

For Akane, saying I'll help you kill him meant You're not alone. No matter what happens, I'll accept you as you are (just like you were there for me). Still, later we're clearly shown that if it's up to her, she wouldn't want Aqua to get his hands dirty.

When Akane realizes that Aqua is actually lying to himself and that what he actually wants is to be free from his revenge, she switches gears.

Instead of carrying the burden with him, she decides to carry it for him. Because she wants the best for Aqua, for him to be happy and free.

This is true even now. When Aqua realizes Akane's intentions and tries to cut her off to protect her, her worst fears come true. Aqua is just about to let himself be consumed by his revenge, essentially throwing his life away.

So since she couldn't save him by being by his side, Akane decides to save him from himself by standing in his way.

That is her way of sharing his burden.

She's just an enabler—

Akane made him worse—

Aqua's self-destructive tendencies don't worsen after Akane becomes his ally. At the contrary, he finds solace in having someone who accepts him as he is.

Aqua worsens only after he finds out that his father is still alive. Akane had nothing to do with that, at the contrary, she was actively protecting him from that truth.

She's co-dependant on him—

She's a push-over that—

Akane was willing to let Aqua go to hell—

Akane didn't want Aqua to suffer, she didn't want him to go to hell. That is the entire reason why she was ready to go face Kamiki on her own.

But if Aqua chose to go there, if he were to chose that devoting himself to his revenge is what he needs to achieve piece of mind, then she would respect his choice and follow him to hell.

Just to make sure he doesn't have to suffer through it alone.

#akane kurokawa #kurokawa akane #oshi no ko #aquaka #aquakane #me: onk #my aquakane meta #that's it I can't hold myself back anymore #akane may be naive at worst and her love too unconditional #but her heart has always been in the right place #and most of the stuff people say about her the manga completely shuts down #codependant? please if anything the only one codependant in that relationship was aqua 😭 #some people really underestimate just HOW important it was for aqua to have someone like akane by his side #someone that made him feel understood supported and SEEN #but that's a post for another day lol

[radvelvetcakez]

Hazbin Swap AU (PT2 ig???)

ok i need to share my ideas right now. Chaggie is real. Chaggie will always be real. - During an extermination, Charlie got injured attempting to protect a sinner, only being spared when the exorcist clocked her as the princess - Vaggie, an exorcist, found her hiding and caring for her wounds, she didn't recognise her as the literal princess, but she couldnt help but feel guilty and chose to help her. She was never caught by the other angels, meaning she was blessed enough to keep her eye and wings!!!! She stayed in hell tho cause love at first sight and lalallala yeah. Sapphics guys !!!! Husk, Niffty, & Angel take the place of the Vee's - they're that overlord trio. They're probably a bit more.. Merciful (except for Niffty she's deranged) but yk. Still inherently bad people n stuff Vox is the first hotel resident - except he & Alastor still have beef. He only showed up so he could do the exact opposite of proving the hotel to work as a big fuck you. Alastor does NOT want him there but he's their only guest so he kind of has to just accept it - he acts all friendly because he knows it pisses Vox off OVERLORD VAGGIE !!!! Charlie & Vaggie basically co-own souls - when Charlie says they share EVERYTHING she means EVERYTHING. Charlie already owned a lot of souls before meeting Vaggie, because, you know, she actually better embodies the whole "princess of hell" in this, and when they got together she was IMMEDIATELY LIKE "Vaggie I have a GENIUS idea. Since we're like girlfriends and stuff we should totes share like EVERYTHING so do you want to like - co-own all the souls I have?" And so Vaggie rose to power fairly quickly. Dating the princess of hell does wonders man Obviously. Alastor is the one starting the hotel, and Rosie is like. His Vaggie basically, she's there for moral support. - Also, unlike canon.. Rosie would be the one who doesn't know who Charlie is (where Angel didn't know about Alastor) Alastor: "Rosie! The... Princess of Hell is at the dooor..." Rosie: "Who?" Vox: "WHAT?" Charlie shows up cause her dad sends her a call about having to go see heaven in a weeks time and she REALLLYYY doesn't wanna go because ouhhh last time she talked to Adam he was an ASSHOLE and she would rather kill herself than talk to him again - so when she finds out about the hotel her immediate reaction is to head there and see if they'd rather take on the burden of seeing heaven. Cause you know, surely they'd love to get heaven behind their whole redemption shit, right???? They arent. Alastor is not at all interested in talking to heaven but Charlie really isn't having it and girl is BEGGING him to just take the offer because she PROMISES they'll be on it - the few silent threats she added are nobodies business chat.. Adam lowkey fucks w the idea of sinners being redeemed but he's also just too stubborn and prideful to agree and hes also mad he didn't come up w it first so he tells Al to FUCK OFF bc his idea is so stupid :// (Its genius and he refuses to admit it.) I need to include all the Vee's for the sake of my mental health so. - Valentino works for Angel Dust (wow. shocker so original /s) & when the little group finds out that THE princess of hell is helping some nobody overlord like Alastor they are just ??? and sent Val in to see what the FUCK is wrong with the girl. And what theyre getting up to - Charlie drags Velvette & Pentious in by the hair to work at the hotel - She met Pentious when he was in a bad situation and offered to help him in exchange for his soul - despite this, she didn't really use her ownership of his soul to her advantage and they became friends :3 He's happy to help - Velvette sold her soul to Vaggie for protection from the princess's very own guardian angel because she kept getting into shit with overlords and needed to save her ass. & again, Chaggie co-own souls

#hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel velvette #the vees #hazbin hotel vox #husk hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel rosie #niffty hazbin hotel #sir pentious hazbin hotel #role swap au #hazbin swap au #au #hazbin hotel au

[gloomysoup]

new a/b/o steddie brainworms

omega!steve/alpha!eddie

so steve and eddie were never "officially" together. they were sort of dating for a while, both scared of a real commitment. things unfold, eddie gets a record deal, he leaves town to pursue music. he's doing great for himself, but he loses contact w most people in hawkins, aside from wayne (and like mike or dustin maybe idk). steve finds out he's pregnant but doesn't tell anyone for a while. only robin knows. he never plans on telling eddie.

wayne hears ab it and confronts steve, asking if it's eddie's. it is. wayne tries to convince steve to tell eddie the truth, but steve won't. he doesn't want eddie to feel obligated to come back. he doesn't want to ruin eddie's career when it's just starting to get him somewhere. he doesn't want to be a burden. wayne, while not happy ab the decision, respects it. he doesn't tell eddie either, but he also knows that steve is on his own. he starts doing what he can to help. it's his grandchild after all. so he's there for whatever steve needs. he sends him a portion of his paychecks every time he gets paid to help w hospital bills and anything steve needs for the baby. after they're born, wayne tries to be as involved as he can. he offers to babysit when steve needs to work, he still gives steve money, etc. eddie still doesn't know.

im thinking a few years down the line, eddie finally comes back to hawkins. he's just there to visit wayne. it's a surprise; no one knows he's coming. now how exactly he finds out ab this child is not yet determined.

on one hand, i think it would be interesting if he happens to find the money wayne always sets aside for steve and asks ab it. wayne would probably lie, even tho it kills him to do it. he wants eddie to know the truth, but he also knows he can't betray steve's trust like that. he understands why steve chose not to tell eddie, even if he isn't happy ab it. i imagine however events unfold, wayne would try to keep steve's secret as long as he can while simultaneously trying to convince steve to tell eddie anyway.

everything works out in the end. eddie and steve work things out once he gets over the fact that everyone lied to him, that steve hid his child from him for years. they live as one big happy family and eddie still has his career. he tours and writes songs ab his family and sings his child lullabies at night. steve essentially becomes a househusband, tho he probably has a part-time job like coaching basketball or something idk. he and their child often join eddie & the band on tour probably and all the corroded coffin guys love the child very much (truthfully, they probably also knew well before eddie of the kid's existence but again steve did NOT want eddie to know)

that's all. idk if this will ever become anything but the idea was there and i wanted to share

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #omegaverse steddie #omegaverse #omega steve harrington #alpha eddie munson #wayne is the best always #he just wants to do what's best for everyone #steve was just trying to help eddie #he didnt want to drag him down or make him think he had to give up his dreams just because steve got pregnant #he thinks he's doing the right thing #the steddie brainrot is real

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Bnha is soooo much about how you cannot avoid your responsibility for long and also you cannot take responsibility for others' actions, even if you really want to.

In the very first chapter of the manga when Deku is trying to convince himself that he should simply ignore what is happening because he's a quirkless dude and it is not his business (responsibility). Yet the minute he sees Bakugo, he jumps to action and it makes All Might self-conscious and a bit ashamed that the pro-heroes in the scene weren't saving the kid. At that moment, Deku recognized saving others as his responsibility, which made him a hero.

The beginning of Tomura Shigaraki as a villain was when AFO told him that there were consequences for his actions. He could kill and destroy as much as he wanted, no responsibility taken.

The conversation Ochako had with Toga during the War arc, when they talked about how they'd have to take responsibility for the way they chose to live.

The Todoroki Family arc is all about responsibility and how it distributes. All the blame cannot be dumped into one individual, because everyone has their share in the tragedy of the family and how it can be fixed. No one is absolved.

The Hosu arc? It was a conversation with Stain and Tenya of what are the responsibilities of a hero. Yes, Stain was responsible for what hurting Tensei, but Tenya couldn't chase revenge when his priority at the moment should be saving others.

When Bakugo and Shouto stayed behind during the Hero Licence arc, it was about responsibility.

The OFA vestiges are about responsibility.

Time and time again, bnha talks about how every character must face their own burdens and how trying to avoid them ends up wounding society until it festers.

Civilians ignoring their responsibility as citizens make the resentment grow. When parents ignore their responsibility with their children, it causes hatred. The responsibility of mentors to their disciples, of teachers to their students. Also the responsibility of an institution and even the one of the government to the public, to the people.

It is an imbalance that the new generation of hero kids are trying to fix.

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #shan's bnha opinions #shan's mha opinions

[lonely-cereal]

Isabella and Ray and farm system small analysis

Isabella always acts like the outside is worse. That it will be the most woeful place. If her kids escape they will feel nothing but misery. She guilt trips, acting like she's the protector and that she's helping. She gave each child an amazing life. What else could she do? They were gonna die and she made sure they had a happy life beforehand. Besides Ray. Poor ray. But she can't change anything, can she? He has his reasons to live, he won't see them get shipped off. Ray didn't deserve her treatment (he deserves the world) and she KNOWS it. Yet she doesn't bother.

I think her treatment towards ray had something to do with HER illusion being shattered as well as his.

Imagine, you're a new mother. You're not near any demons anymore. You slowly build up this fake dollhouse family. Everyone loves you, the food is good, and you're in control. Even though there are shipments, you know you're the reason they had a happy life until the end.

But what if you find out, the child you literally birthed out of the womb and carried for 9 months is also in line for YOU to kill and they Know it. They feel so betrayed. You can't pamper them normally. They'll never look at you as a human again. You're not a mother in his eyes, you're a monster. You can't even save him, because he's a boy. Boys don't get to join the farm system. If he escapes, he'll find happiness, but you'll be killed. That illusion you just made for yourself is gone. You chose this job and it's real. You try to not get attached to your child, but you can't so you push them away to the point it kills you both.

Ray has every right to hate this woman. She's vile, she's cruel, she hurt him, she abused him, she made his life miserable. They could have had it all, they could've shared that burden together, she could've been nicer. But ray believes he's selfish for wishing this. Is he better himself? (Yes) he doesn't wanna be like her at all, but he is in some ways. Isabella fails because she had no companions, Ray didn't fall alone. He had someone to lean on. He had true (platonic) love right there living with him. Ray eventually was not sharing his burden alone. He learned to love and learned to live.

Isabella did not. She didn't have any real meaningful reason to live besides to live. Pushing everyone down to rise to the top is her ONLY way. Even her own son, who deserves nothing but love. She knows how to get to the top and she will. At least, that's what she'd like to think.

Because in the end, she cared. Ray cared. They all cared. Death was her atonement. However, if she had lived longer, would making everything up to ray and the others had been a better way of atonement?

#ray tpn #the promised neverland #tpn ray #tpn #ray the promised neverland #ynn #emma tpn #yakusoku no neverland #isabella and ray #ray and isabella

[malarkgirlypop]

Come Away With Me (Eugene Roe x F!Reader)

So @footprintsinthesxnd had a 'Saturday Night Live ask' and I asked her what her ideal date was and with what BoB man. No one was surprised when she chose her man Gene! @footprintsinthesxnd has kindly made the most stunning moodboard to go along with the story, so head over to her blog and find the post with the #bobcollab tag!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved. Keep reading

Tag list: @next-autopsy @panzershrike-pretz, @xxluckystrike @bucky32557038ww2 @b00ks1ut

Y/N rubbed her lips together staring in the mirror, her finger carefully rubbing away some of the lipstick she had on her lips. She stood back giving her face and hair a once over. She took a deep breath trying to steady her nerves. Why was she so nervous? It was just Gene. 

Y/N had known Gene for years, being next door neighbours and childhood friends they had grown up with each other. They were hardly ever apart. Their bond they shared was everlasting. 

Or so Y/N thought. 

When Gene broke the news he was signing up for the war she broke down immediately. The thought of him going away and maybe never coming back was the most gut wrenching feeling. But Gene said he wanted to make a difference, to help. He didn’t go to kill, he went to heal. There was no stopping him, he was set in his ways. He had always been stubborn. As much as they loved each other they butted heads on occasion. Always an agree to disagree situation, where they accepted they didn’t think the same and moved on. But Y/N loved that about their friendship, they were constantly challenging each other to think broader, to see things in a different light. 

When Gene left they promised to write to each other. There was a flurry of letters back and forward, but they slowly dwindled. Gene didn’t have time and Y/N had started her new job. Y/N wanted to write to him so desperately but didn’t want to burden the man with her ramblings, thinking he would have better things to do. 

Y/N couldn’t believe it when it was announced the war was finally over. Her heart soared, Gene would finally be home. Y/N had waited patiently for her best friend to arrive back. His mother had let Y/N know he was going to be home that week. Everyday Y/N rushed home from work to see if he had returned yet. 

She walked down the street briskly, nearly running. A cab pulled in front of his house. She stopped dead in her tracks, the familiar figure exiting the car. 

“Eugene!” She cried, running down the road. He turned knowing the voice that called him. A small smile tugging at his lips. She charged straight into the man, almost bowling them both over. He enveloped her in his arms, enjoying the familiar scent of her. Y/N hugged him so tightly, ensuring it wasn’t a dream or illusion.

“Ma mouche, gosh have you gotten stronger.” He said hardly able to breathe. She loosened her hold, realising she might have been hurting him. 

“Oh, sorry.” She smiled up at him. “I missed you so much.” She quickly wiped the stray tears from her face. He smiled, but it wasn’t his usual smile. The sparkle she knew, didn’t twinkle in his eyes like it used to. 

“I missed ya too.” He said. They stood staring at each other unsure of what to say. There was so much that Y/N wanted to tell him, so much she wanted to ask. But she couldn’t form the words, not knowing where or how to start. See when Gene had been away Y/N had realised that maybe she loved him, more than what she believed she had. Her mother always teased them that they were in love, and she was just waiting for them to both figure it out. Yes, she loved him as a friend. But there was always something more she wanted, yearned for. They hugged, but she wanted him to hold her longer. They spoke, but she wished she could listen to him speak forever. They loved each other, but she wanted him to love her. They way she loved him. 

“Gene, I know you just got home. But I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time with me, only if you’re free. I’m sure you’re so busy, and everyone probably wants to see you-” Y/N rambled on, trying to hide the blush that rose to her cheeks, since when was it nerve wracking to speak to Gene.

“Of course I would!” Gene cut her off, before she fainted from talking so much without taking a breath.   

Y/N smiled brightly at the man. “What do you want to do?” She asked, he hummed in thought, tapping his finger on his chin. 

“How about a surprise?” Gene grinned, Y/N was shocked, she didn’t expect that answer from him. 

“Are you sure, Gene. I can plan it, you will probably be so busy.” Y/N said worried about burdening her friend. 

“Ma mouche, stop fretting!” He laughed at his friend, he looked at her longer. She was nervous with new people, but they had known each other nearly their whole lives and he had never seen her so flustered. He thought maybe it was because of the distance and time they had spent apart. It was like meeting someone for the first time again. 

“We can make a day of it. I’ll come pick you up tomorrow around eleven, how does that sound?” Y/N looked up at Gene, eyes sparkling full of joy. She nodded excitedly. His mother had rushed out of the house after that, pulling him inside. He only was able to manage a small wave as he was dragged away. 

Y/N sat nervously on the staircase by the front door, she had gotten ready so early. Not being able to sleep a wink at all last night. She was too busy planning. She was going to tell him today, confess her true feelings to Gene. The thought made her stomach flip, so many what if’s flooded her brain. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin what she already had with him. 

Ding dong, Y/N bolted to her feet hearing the familiar chime of the doorbell. She smoothed down her dress and hair, taking a deep breath and opening the door. There on her doorstep stood Gene, in casual clothes, but looking handsome as always. She glanced down at his hands, they thrust out the flowers he held. Y/N looked at him shocked. 

“For me?” She grinned, taking them from him, bringing them up to her nose to sniff. They smelled heavenly. The bouquet had flowers from his mothers garden. His mother had the most magnificent flowerbeds, she giggled imagining Gene stealing the flowers from her garden. Y/N knew well enough that Gene wouldn’t have asked and just taken them without telling her. 

“Hold on, let me go put these in water.” She left him standing on the doorstep, running and putting them in a vase. 

“Shall we go?” She asked, closing the door behind her. He nodded, leading the way. They walked down the road, chatting about life. Gene didn’t bring up the war, making conversation about other things. 

“Where are we going?” Y/N said as Gene stepped off the path and down a small track leading into one of the meadows that was on the outskirts of their street. 

“I told you, ma mouche, it’s all been planned.” He smiled, extending his hand for her to take. She smiled holding his hand as they walked down the dirt path. At this time of month it was late spring, the weather was warmer, but not too hot yet. The flowers all in bloom and new babies of all kinds being born. It was as if life was restarting again, becoming anew.  

Y/N gasped as they approached the clearing. She could see under their favourite tree they used to play under as children, was a picnic blanket. An assortment of food lay on top. It overlooked the meadow that was teeming with wildflowers. 

“Oh Gene!” Y/N covered her mouth, feeling choked up. “This is perfect!” She ran ahead to get a better look at the perfect picnic he had created. 

“Gene!” She squealed, turning around to tackle the man into a hug. He held her back as she held him tightly. “Do you like it?” He asked into her hair.

“Like it! I love it! Gene, you didn’t have to do all this!” She pulled back to look at him, showing her gratitude all over her features.   

“Anything for ma mouche.” She rolled her eyes at the nickname, it means my fly in french. Gene had been calling her ma mouche for years, one day he said it and it stuck. They never discussed between them what he meant by it. Y/N had assumed he called her my fly because she annoyed him but he could never get rid of her. 

“Yes I know, annoying like a fly.” She mumbled. A confused expression appeared on Gene’s face. 

“What?” He asked, trying to figure out what she meant.

“Cause I remind you of a fly, that’s why you call me that.” She smiled at him, it was a funny nickname, he was only teasing. His brows furrowed together. 

“Y/N, no. That’s not what I mean at all. Is that what you thought the whole time?” He seemed upset. She nodded confused at why he was so overcome with concern. 

“Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for you to think that.” He reached out cupping her cheek. 

“Well, what do you mean then?” She asked, tilting her head. 

“Ma mouche, it’s short for my butterfly. Mon papillon.” Y/N looked at him shocked, unable to form words. My butterfly was a lot different than my fly. 

“You have always been my butterfly. So bright and colourful, everything you touch comes to life. You make me want to be a better person.” Gene said holding her face in his hands, his eyes shone with love.

“Gene, what are you saying?” She asked hoping she wasn’t reading into his words.

“I love you.” The words she had been so desperate to hear from him easily fell from his lips. A gentle whisper for only them to hear. Everything stilled and muted. They were in their own bubble. Gene was unsure if Y/N had heard him, she stood so still. 

“You do?” She uttered, overwhelmed with joy. Her heart beat so hard it hurt, she felt like she could burst into tears. “Gene, you love me?” She asked again to confirm she had heard him correctly. 

“I do.” He chuckled, still holding her face in his hands. “Do you love me?” He asked, unsure of what his friend was feeling, was she happy, sad? He couldn’t tell. 

“I love you more than words can say.” Her face broke into a beaming smile. She pulled him into her arms as his hands slipped from her face to hold her close. She pulled back, unable to stop grinning. Gene smiled down at her, relishing in her adoration. He bent down, placing a soft kiss to her lips. The kiss was sweet and tender, but only short as he stepped back. 

But he hadn’t known the fire that he had awoken in his lover. Y/N’s hands flew out catching his face, she pulled him down to her. This time the kiss was more passionate, she kissed him like she would never be able to touch her lips to his again. Gene wrapped his hands around her waist pulling her closer. The kiss was everything that Y/N had dreamed about. Being held in his arms as they tasted each other, like forbidden fruit. Y/N lips parting softly as Gene found his way into her mouth, their tongues swirled together. Their breaths mixed together as they grasped each other with roaming hands. Gene’s lips moved from Y/N’s to her neck, as she tilted her head back. His soft lips pressed harsh kisses along her throat. Y/N stilled his movements when she moved his face back up to her’s. They paused, foreheads pressed together, their breaths fanning each other’s faces, noses slightly touching. Savouring their kiss together. 

“More than words.” Y/N whispered, Gene understood her completely. There were no words to say to express their love, but there were acts, thoughts, touches, that represented it.

Y/N felt so giddy she thought she could faint, as Gene and her sat on the blanket eating the food he had prepared. Fresh fruit, a cheese platter, pastries, freshly baked cookies. Gene had thought of it all. 

“Would you like some chocolate strawberries?” Gene asked, pulling out a punnet of strawberries from the basket. 

“Ah, my favourite! Gene, how did you get these?” She took the box from him, bringing it to her nose to smell the aromatic fruit.       

“I can’t tell you my secrets.” Gene grinned at her, as she pretended to pout. He chuckled, reaching out to tickle Y/N under her neck. She laughed trying to get away from him but he snatched her up quickly, jumping on top of her. She squealed and giggled trying to get away from his onslaught of attacks. 

“Gene, ahh, Gene!” She laughed breathlessly, trying to stop him but he had her pinned down. They laughed together as Gene slowly stopped. Their faces inches apart, a smile pulled to Y/N lips, as she lifted her head to kiss him. Her lips pressed to his gently, letting the feeling linger before laying back down to stare at him. 

“I missed you.” She uttered, feeling tears prick in her eyes. A sadness overwhelmed Y/N, she was unsure of where it had spurred from. But it was a moment of stillness when everything finally crashed down. All of the worry she had in his absence, the realisation that she loved him. Then she had him back in one piece, and then all of today. The confession, the kiss, it had been so much, everything Y/N had hoped for. But it scared her all the same, now she really had something to lose. 

“I missed you so much.” She whispered, as Gene watched her concerned, her tears slipped down her cheeks into her hair. He moved off of Y/N so she could sit up. She moved into his arms, clinging to him desperately. 

“It’s ok ma mouche, I’m here now.” Gene stroked her hair, as she cried into his shoulder. Gene’s stomach knotted, he hated to see her so hurt. He hated being away from her for so long. After a long day on the front lines he would often think of her. He kept all of the letters she sent, and would re-read all of them when he missed her, which was constantly. He couldn’t articulate to her what he had been through during those times, he didn’t want to burden her with those images. He was sure if he told her that she would tell him it wasn’t a burden, and that it was better to share the load than carry it all by himself. But reliving it was just as painful. He was sure with time he would be able to open up slowly. But for now he wanted to focus on them, on being home. The war was over and he wanted to move on from that time, he could do that with Y/N.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled into his neck, sniffling softly. She sat back wiping the tears from her face. “I’m ruining this.” She shook her head, feeling bad. 

“Hey. I know it’s a lot, I feel it too. But it’s fine we have each other now. You can cry to me anytime.” Gene said, wiping away the stray tears she had missed, an adorable smile on her lips. He leant forward to kiss her again. “I’ll kiss it all better.” She sniffed chuckling. 

“You can tell me anything too Gene.” They sat in silence letting her words settle. They both knew what she meant. He nodded, pulling her close. 

They lay in each other's arms, staring up at the clouds. Y/N laid with her head on his chest and listened to his comforting heartbeat. His steady pulse was strong and firm, she could hear him breathing gently. His hands played with the ends of her hair, twirling them around his fingers in an absent-minded motion. 

“That one looks like a bunny.” She pointed up to the sky to the white fluffy shapes that drifted past. He hummed in agreement, staring up at the twilight sky. Gene felt so fulfilled just being here with Y/N, he couldn’t ask for anything more. He checked his watch, sitting up abruptly, sending Y/N flying onto the blanket. 

“Gene!” She laughed thinking he was playing around. She watched him, he looked nervous. “What’s wrong?” She asked shuffling forward to sit closer to him. 

“We’re late!” He announced, standing up and hastily putting away the picnic. Y/N watched confused. 

“Late? Late for what?” She helped Gene pack away the picnic even though she had no idea why he was in such a hurry. 

“I can’t tell you, it’s a surprise.” He glanced over his shoulder, as she shook her head laughing. 

“Gene!” She whined playfully. 

“Come on, Y/N.” He hurried her, as he grabbed her hand dragging her away. They made their way back to the road, a cab pulled up in front of Gene’s house. 

“A cab? Where are we going now?” Y/N asked as he opened the door for her to get into the car. All Gene did was tap his nose, she rolled her eyes. She knew Gene well enough to know he would never reveal his surprise. 

They sat in the back seat holding hands and chatting quietly, as the scenery flew past. Y/N tried to keep track of where they were but as night fell it was harder to make out their location in the dark. The cab finally pulled to a stop, Gene thanked and paid the man. He helped Y/N out of the car. They stood on the bustling street in town in front of a dance hall, the music from inside spilling onto the street. 

“Are we going dancing?” Y/N asked delightedly. Gene smiled seeing her reaction, taking her by the hand and leading her into the building. The music and chatter filled the hall. People danced and drank as the jazz band played. Y/N watched people swing dance on the dance floor as onlookers clapped and cheered. 

“Shall we?” Gene asked with his hand outstretched. Y/N nodded enthusiastically, taking Gene’s hand, as they made their way to the floor. The song ‘In the Mood’ blasted from the lively band onstage. Gene and Y/N danced together, laughing and smiling. Gene twirled her around, Y/N skirt floating out around her. They danced for hours, stopping occasionally to get a drink and rest before they went out onto the floor again.

They danced the whole night away, the band slowly bringing down the tempo for the remaining few couples who swayed gently to the music.

The familiar melody of Etta James’ ‘At Last’ was played by the band. Gene and Y/N held each other close as they listened to the lyrics being sung. Y/N sighed contentedly. Pulling back to look at Gene. 

“Today has been perfect.” She smiled sweetly at him. Overcome with so much love and joy. Today had been the best day ever, but she knew every day spent with Gene would be even better.

“You’re perfect.” Gene whispered into her ear placing a kiss to her cheek. She blushed furiously, shy from his charming words. 

“I love you.” She kissed him on the lips.  “More than words.” He finished for her.                                       

#bobcollab #eugene roe #band of brothers #hbo war #band of brothers fanfic #enjoy the cutest date #ahhhhhh #fanfic

[maidragoste]

By the way, if you want, anon, you can choose an emoji so I can identify and know which anon I'm talking to hahaha—👾 with thisss!

Also

She could have had any man, even the king but she chose you. And you pay her like that?You say you love your wife but you hurt her and now you have made her the entertainment of the court. There is no person who does not talk about her, the princess and you"

My heck—the reader chose love over duty—imagine..she's the first born and by law she can't inherit Driftmark because you know..misoginy then the queen dies and her father invites(forces her)her to be the future bride of the king( I want to believe she's 18 years old, not 14 or 12..it's an ick for me..) but Viserys notices the way she and Harwin are looking at each other so he gives them his blessing and choose Alicent.

Reader wants to be overjoyed because she's free but now she finds out with horror that the future queen is a 14 year old and worst, her cousin's best friend and she feels guilty and disgusted.

So by telling to her parents she will stay at KL to find a suitor, she befriends the queen and try to repair the relationship between Nyra and Alicent with no avail.

By the years KL's become a second home to reader, writing to her parents and sister;she's living in a fairytale until Jacaerys is born and his brothers.

A DECADE, SHE HAS LIVED IN MISERY AND HUMILATION FOR A DECADE and seems her strength are her twin boys that looked more Velaryon than Nyra and Laenor's children.

The relationship with Nyra?has grown cold and she dotes on the queen's children and NO ONE suspect that her twins are Larry's because they took after their mother's appearance but their eyes.

Then Driftmark happens and we know what will happen but the're is a new player: the reader that has taken under the wing Rhaena,like you said in the previous post, and she's securing a betrothal of his twins with Laena's daughters because she will be damned if she allows Daemon to trap her nieces and she needs to get back at Nyra for sleeping with her husband, and disrespect the memory of his younger siblings.

The Velaryons? Are by her side and they are awfully protective of her because if D&R have killed two of their children?what they would to their first born?

Let's not forget also two important allies: Larrys and Alicent—also Aegon, Helaena, Aemond and Daeron, Baela( who is a mini Daemon and loyal to reader, the Velaryons)and Rhaena because the reader is the step father who stepped up and with her Aegon may have learnt to take his duties seriously and be a good husband to Helaena;Aemond learns that he shouldn't carry his burdens alone, Helaena has someone who can understand her.

Okay okay; I'll stop you are the writer but it's good to share some ideas

👾👾👾👾

Hi Anon, I'm sorry it took so long to reply. I hope you're well 🥰

First, I think that in some post I said it too high up but for my Reader she is the younger sister of the Velaryon. Laena is the eldest, just like in the book, and Laenor is the middle brother. So Reader never had a chance to inherit Driftmark.

For your peace of mind Reader is not 12/14 when Corlys wants to make her queen and marry Viserys... But still she is a minor she is 16/17 😭🤡

I don't know if Viserys would realize that something is going on between Reader and Harwin (SORRY FOR ME THE MAN IS A DENSE. I STILL ANGRY THAT HE IS THE KING) but Reader definitely doesn't want to marry him so she confesses that she is in love with Harwin. Sure, as you say, Viserys gives them her blessing and chooses Alicent.

Of course Reader feels guilty and disgusted. Alicent is the same age as her and knows how uncomfortable she must be with the situation because she was there too. It saddens him to see how Alicent and Rhaenyra's friendship breaks down.

So Reader marries Harwin and sets out to be friends with Alicent to assuage her guilt but it doesn't take long for her to start enjoying her and appreciating her friendship with Alicent. Reader tries to patch things up between Alicent and Rhaenyra but she doesn't realize she's making it worse. Rhaenyra feels like she sided with Alicent, she feels like she lost them both, she feels out of place like she's left over. Now you spend all your time with Alicent and Aegon, you seem like you've forgotten about her. You are no longer going to fly together or invite her to go with you to Driftmark because your attention is always on Alicent. Always attached to her, always smiling at each other as if they knew a language Rhaenyra didn't.

Years pass and Jacaerys is born. Throughout Rhaenyra's pregnancy you had been by her side and pampered her. Rhaenyra felt like it was the two of you again. She felt horrible because she knew that the moment her baby was born you would never love her again. And she was not wrong. Your eyes of hers stopped being warm and you only looked at her coldly. Whenever you could, you avoided being in the same room as her. All the love that was between you two was once gone because of her.

Rhaenyra suffers as Reader raises Alicent's children as his own. Reader's upbringing definitely makes Aegon a better man, she teaches him why it's important that he fulfill his duties and how he always has to take care of his family. Helaena finds another mother in Reader, she never makes her feel uncomfortable by her dreams or her prophecies whenever she can, she accompanies her to look for new insects. Aemond knows that Reader is always there to help him with his burdens and Daeron knows that despite the distance Reader will never forget him... like his father.

#lu speaks #the sea dragon the clubfoot and the green queen #hotd x reader #alicent x reader #alicent hightower x reader #rhaenyra x reader #rhaenyra targaryen x reader #anon ask #anon <3 #anon 👾 #aegon iii targaryen #helaena targaryen #aemond targaryen #daeron targaryen #viserys targaryen #thanks for the ask! #ask me anything #harwin strong x reader

[noritoshiikamo]

adepti energy [xiao x reader]

read part 1 here— so i have an brainrot of xiao as an adepti, able to share his energy for heal. i saw an art of ganyu healing injured xiao by sharing adepti energy and this shit lingers bro??

cw pregnant reader, talk of ab0rtion aka asshole xiao, sexual healing, penetrative sex, female receiving, mention of blood (and licking it)

maybe it was his mistake.

he warned you about this so much, every single hours spend, he reminded of the burden of his karma carried for years. but here he was, breathing the sweet, sweet scent of your hair, your head resting against his bare chest. you shivered, even with his arms tightening around your barely covered body, you refused to leave. after that night, he didn’t expect to ever cross path with you again. out of his own choice, he was avoiding you actively.

but you are smarter. perseverance kept you alive, yet it will kill you; if you don’t learn.

we are not meeting anymore

oh, now im just some girl you fucked and leave?

shut up

way to proof yourself, he thought, gently brushing strays off your face. how did we get here again, y/n? surely this isn’t the life you hoped for. you deserved better than someone who would only meet you once every few days just to fuck you on the cold, damp ground of some marsh. who would rather watch from far as you celebrate the lantern rite in the busiest night of liyue alone. the only keepsake he could gave was constellation of bruises and teeth marks along your body, while merchants lined up for your hand in marriage with the promise of the wealth the world could possibly gave. ignoring that in exchange of the whines and whimpers of pain he gave yet would ignore because this was your punishment.

you chose him, you bare the consequences.

yet, here you are. your moans were deafening and the way moonlight shone down on your skin as he drove you to your last breath were mesmerizing. he would argue and for some reason you would laugh. it drove him insane. for every ten bad shit crazy xiao gave to you, you turned it into a sweet core memory in his head. in his mind was only you.

your skin molded against his own. the way your heart seemed to match his rapid beating. sometimes when you kissed, you left a faint red stain against his lips, his cheeks, his neck down to— he bit the inside of his cheek, burying his nose deeper into your hair.

it was too late to say no.

what would morax said, if he knew that his general had left a girl blessed by the archon himself, alone yet full of his seed ready to blossom. by your words, his child was a size of sunsettia. he took the blame. he was blinded by selfishness and jealousy. you belong to him, yet wind carried whispers of the men who looked to steal of what belonged to the general. not once you fought; not when his fingers had mistaken your hair for the weed he was trying to grip, not when he berated you for mistaking that anyone could be better than him. it was never a love making, only fucks. you accepted that in the name of love. that was yours to blame.

you both made the mistakes, yet you are the one carrying it.

“you’ll get cold,” he warned as he helped you back into your clothes. he listened to how you whispered your discontent. you looked exhausted. his hands brushed the growing womb. it looked foreign, tight as if it was ready to burst. he let a long sigh. he muttered something about home, yet the reply is always the same.

you

you are my home

fucking cliche. the only time you ever fought was about the child. “get rid of it,” he said, not an ounce of hesitation. but you fought, you raised your voice, you threw your hands and feet. you are a home, but for the child, never xiao. he felt lost.

“i’ll rather die.”

his laughter broke the silent of the night, “the baby would kill you before you do.”

yet the determination in your eyes was the final nail to your coffin. never in years xiao knew what fear is, but that night he knew.

“so be it.”

home, he repeated again, insisting harder this time. you sat in exhaustion, lazy eyes watched as he dressed, wind breezing through his hair made you wondered if he will ever cut it shorter. he sat you up, brushing the dried grass of you, pulling clothes back in order. you swatted his hands away every time he got a little rough but accepted the hands to hoist you back on your feet. “my back’s getting worst,” you sighed softly, holding his hand for balance. you walked slowly, fingers intertwined. he couldn’t just teleport you away, not like how they were used too. “how are you feeling?” he asked, tightening the grip every time he felt you loosened. “i felt like i need a long hour of nap. m’so tired, can you just do that thingy?”

his brows shot up, “thingy?”

“yes, that–” you made a swoosh sound, imitating his teleportation. you watched as the corner of his lips moved into a smile. he stood his ground, shaking his head. “i don’t know if you can handle it.” you stopped, tugging weakly on his hand. it loosened the grip, he didn’t realise until he was few steps away. xiao studied you, glancing down on the hand that rested against your growing womb.

“me or the baby?”

he bit his tongue. there were so much things he wanted to say; but something should be left unspoken. karma would kill him and his baby would kill you. how romantic, the voice inside of him snide. you snorted, “if you worried so much about a baby, why didn’t it ever cross your mind that maybe i should pull out?” he frowned at your imitation, “you wanted to fill me up so badly and when you did, you chicken the fuck away from me. don’t you fucking run away from me.” you screamed as the general looked away, already taken a few steps away.

“what do you want me to do?”

“what?”

xiao turned around, his uninterested eyes bore cold gaze on you, “what do you want? do you want me to love the child?”

“yes, it’s your child too.”

“maybe in another life. maybe when it doesn’t kill you, maybe i would.”

your eyes widened. unbelievable, you wanted to say but the words laid heavy on your tongue. you wanted to burst, in tear and anger but exhaustion waved in. you let out a weak fine, before walking, brushing past him. “where the fuck-”

“home xiao,” it sounded cold, “i get it. we talked about this before and you wanted me to get rid of it. i said no, it like reading the same page of the same book over and over again. i’m tired.”

xiao raked his hair back blown by the wind, frustrated with your shift of emotion, “i meant to the inn, you can leave by dusk. it’s dangerous.”

you snapped, turning your heels around, “you don’t get to dictate shit to me. you said you don’t care, so act like it. you made your bed so lay in it. i’m nobody in your life, go wallow in your shitty karma’s a bitch bullshit, i’m tired,” you didn’t realise you were crying until you tasted the salty droplet against you lips. “i’m tired, xiao. goodbye.”

goodbye.

xiao was never good at goodbye, nor had he ever heard you said it to him. it was always see you later, i’ll be back tomorrow, but never goodbye. it seemed so permanent.

and it was. xiao didn’t see you the next day, nor the day after and the day after that. it had been a whole week. he had a visitor today however, his heart skipped a beat yet not in excitement but disappointment. “morax,” he muttered, bowing his head lightly in respect.

“busy?” the archon asked, eyes bored against the horizon, hands laced in the back. xiao refused to answer. “she’s not doing well,” the man continued, turning his head toward the general. he looked unfazed. xiao knew hows and whats, just never why he had always to choose such a stubborn girl to love.

“why would you-”he wanted to ask the archon, unsure of how could arrange his inquiry without ever doubting the archon’s decision. obedience was one of the reason that set him free and willingly followed the archon to war. “why would you do this? why would you blessed us–her with something so painful. if you are punishing me, do it to me. she’s innocent.”

“she tangled herself with a yaksha, she knew the risk. you knew the risk too so let me ask you, why would you do this, alatus? why would you blessed her with something so painful? something that you wouldn’t even accept.”

the general scoffed, “i never mingled with a human, how would i know that my human form could procreate? i’m old.”

morax smiled, “so would it stop you if you knew?”

the archon left, leaving the question heavy in the yaksha’s head. would he? he couldn’t think of any other woman in his life he was willing to have a child with other than you. yet why is he going through this excruciating fights and anger every time he sees your womb. he left soon after, the city was still bustling late at night. you never learn, he rolled his eyes as he pushed the sliding door open. regret washed over him as he cleared his throat. “i’m sorry-”

baizhu laughed, waving the yaksha off, “don’t worry. i’m just here for normal check up. did you know that the child is as big as lettuce. it is growing fast,” the doctor glanced at the mother as he put his tools aside. “are you sure the father is human?” xiao held his breath. you shrugged reaching for the glass of water, taking a long sip, ignoring the leering shadow in the corner of your eyes, “i don’t know. he doesn’t care much to tell me shit before he disappeared.”

the doctor nodded, taking a hint on your discontent, “keep taking the herbs in your tea, it should help with the nausea and the bleeding. spotting is normal, but reaching a week long is dangerous. let me know if the volume increase, you are home bound for now. i’ll sent qiqi to check on you tomorrow.” you didn’t move, sitting on the edge of the bed. baizhu excused himself closing the door behind him. you moved to get up, door needs to be locked but xiao was faster. the metal echoed as he twisted the knob.

“someone told me you weren’t doing okay.”

you let out a half laugh, cynical smile etched on your face. “the general knows mercy, who would’ve thought.”

“are you hurting yourself?” he asked bluntly, turning around. you rolled your eyes, shaking your head, playing with the rim of the glass. you braced yourself for the next question and surely enough it did come. “are the baby hurting you?” your eyes locked in a stare, sitting in such uncomfortable silence yet none of you dare to speak nor move. both of you knew the answer anyway. you didn’t realise how close he’d gotten to you until his hand pushed your jaws up, pushing away strays from your face. your lips hung a jar as you called out his name so softly but he hushed you. “don’t do this,” he said sternly, pulling the gloves off his fingers. his skin were calloused, from years of wars brushing gently again your cheeks. “don’t you fucking dare do that again,” he repeated, shaking from anger, “don’t you dare tell me goodbye, you understand me human?”

“okay, general.”

“i want to kiss you,” he asked bluntly, a soft snort escaped your lips in amusement. “i didn’t realise you were capable of asking,” you humored yourself with the redness that were forming on the tip of his ears. his body shuddered as your hand rested on his stomach. it moved until you were tugging on collar. you brought the general down to his knees, until you were looking eyes to eyes. “i’m disgusting. i just spend hours puking and bleeding,” you muttered but xiao didn’t care. why pull him down, if you were going to give excuses. he wants your lips, molded against his just like the first time you ever kissed. you whined against his lips, but the hands pulling your waist closer to the edge of the bed made you silent.

it was a starter.

a kiss was surely and intimate way to share your adepti energy.

pulling away, his eyes stared down your face. your lips were wet, strings of mess and you felt numb. your eyes were glistening, fully blown out iris staring down at him before your gaze softened. “you weren’t just kissing me,” he couldn’t help the grin on his face as you sat startled by what had just happened. “how many had kiss you like that, general?”

he wiped his own lips with the back of his hand, grimacing at the amount of saliva had leaked, he was just never that sloppy. “i never sha-kiss anyone like that before. i’ve seen some of the yakshas did it. sharing adepti energy is personal. i figure, if its hurting you, and if the child is half you and me, adepti energy could help ease your burden.” his words echoed in your mind in a jumbled up emotions, you lost your words. he continued, his hands moving your legs aside, the dress hitching upward until you sat bare against his face. your legs twitched. “they usually kissed, sometimes they licked the source of the pain, the wounds. other time, they fucked.” his warm breath tickled your aching core.

we fucked.

you struggled to swallow the lump in your throat as he looked up to you, his own pupil blown up, a small smile on his face as his cheek rested against the inside of your thighs. “when we meet, all this time, were you?” your mind remembered how almost every time you met in the night, you will always end up tangled up in his arms, writhing in pleasure. his light nod confirmed everything. xiao wasn’t slimy, he cared for you from start.

“w-what are you gonna do?”

his smile grew, “you tell me.”

your face flushed harder. “i’m still mad at you, you don’t get to play flirty with me like that,” you hissed but he shut you up, planting a kiss inside your thighs. “okay, y/n. just let me heal you and you’ll tell me later if you forgive me okay?”

your breath hitched.

xiao went down on you like a man desperate for relief. his tongue covered every inch of you. your stomach twisted in pleasure. if it weren’t because of the hands pinning your thighs down, you would’ve crushed his head. “x-xiao,” you cried, fingers woven against his hair but the general wasn’t budging. his eyes looked up to you as he released your clit with a soft pop. “is that okay?” he asked so innocently. you nodded, gasping out yeses, “but it’s t’much, please.”

he teased the swollen nub again, speeding up his flicks watching excitedly as your legs trembled before slowing down. “you tasted sweet, you’re getting close. release would help,” he muttered nonchalantly, tongue flat from your hole up to your clit, “let me have a taste, y/n.” that wasn’t a plea. contrast to whatever he was saying earlier, that was an order. his order went up your spine, sending all your hairs up. his fingers found yours, lacing it tightly. your pressure could never break his, but seeing you in the brink of breaking is his pleasure. you couldn’t think straight, not after a week of not seeing him, your body suddenly craved the release.

“x-xiao.”

his spine shuddered. he could taste it on his tongue, your sweet, sweet arousal and like a desperate man he drank. you cries were weak, thank you, thank you, thank you, your gratitude echoed the room. he lapped your release until your grip loosened and thighs stopped trembling. you grabbed him by the waist, breathless from your release yet you want more of him. “xiao, fuck me,” you whined your order, sharing kisses, tasting yourself on the tip of his tongue. “please?”

please, it echoed in his head as he nodded, pulling his clothes off. please, it echoed in his head as he pulled you closer to the edge, almost hanging of the bed but he held you still. please, it echoed again as he spitted on his own shaft, never breaking the eye contact, he love how feral your eyes were, high in his energy and lust.

“please,” it came out of his lips instead of yours this time as he rubbed the tip gently against your throbbing hole, “please stop running away from me. i’ll take care of you,” he didn’t wait for your answer as he pushed himself in. you gasped for air, knuckles turned white as you gripped the comforter underneath you. he didn’t move, panting from the pleasure. you kissed again, longer, longing to be attached from every single inch of the skin. you were tight against him, hugging every inch of him, he didn’t dare to move. “undress me,” you asked between his kisses.

your request felt intimate to him. like the lock on the door finally turning. xiao never undressed you, not that you ever let him. pulling the dress off, he took a moment to rest his warm hand against the growing womb. “he doesn’t move a lot at night,” you blurted out, watching his face contorted in confusion.

“he?”

you shrugged, “or she, i don’t know. can you move?” you arched your back, wiggling your ass against him. he let a soft huff, focusing his attention back to you. he watched you intently, how your eyes glistened with tears as he pulled and sheathed back in. he quickly grabbed you by the arm, pulling it around him before you could slam your head back. fuck, he never felt you gushed this much around his girth, dripping down his thighs. not that he would complain, he loves the way your walls fluttered against his shaft. you whined as his tip hit deeper.

“xiao,” you called again, fingers lacing against his hair.

“i only want you,” he gritted his teeth between the thrust, forehead knitted in pleasure. you wrapped your legs around his waist, whining your okays as you rested your forehead against each other. but you were drowsy in pleasure and he needed you to hear it. he grabbed the back of your neck, forcing your eyes on him. “don’t say goodbyes, don’t run away from me, don’t let me hear for the archon himself that you are hurting, i’ll hunt you down and fuck your conscious back into your thick skull. i need you.”

your lips curled in a lopsided grin, “say it again.”

he flushed, “i need you.”

“no, i meant-“ you grinned wider, “tell me that you’re going to fuck the hell out of me.”

you liked how the yaksha was blushing furiously. you prodded more, whining, begging of how you wanna hear it. not that his hips ever stopped moving, pushing air every second out of your lung. you just want to hear him said it again. “you’re insane,” he whispered against your lips, “am i not fucking the hell out out of you now?” your eyes widened as you let a squealed, pushed back from his grasp on the soft bad.

xiao preferred actions over words anyway.

your eyes rolled back, heels dug on the bed now as he sped his rhythm. “fuck, fuck, yes, xiao,” there we go again, his name, rolling out of your tongue so smooth. he kept his busy hand, thumbing your swollen clit while the other kept you from slipping away. you wanted it right, for him to fuck the hell out of you. “don’t run away now,” he scoffed, tightening his grip on your thighs, “stay still, y/n.”

your whines were loud and clear to him. he wasn’t sure to how much adepti energy he had nor how much you would need, but it sure as hell felt damn good to stay in your cunt. his hips snapped faster. he could stay here forever if he could, head thrown back as he cursed the archon.

xiao looked majestic.

feral, yet appeasing to your eyes. you couldn’t help but felt his energy, he is a yaksha after all. he was meant to be violent, it was the way he was raised. you licked your lips, eyeing beads of sweat glistening down the column of his neck. your body shuddered when his head snapped back, his half lidded eyes fell on you. “you’re clenching hard and you are staring, does nobody ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?” he cooed, head tilted to his side. he was teasing you. when you didn’t answer, too fazed to even string your words, he slowed down, clicking his tongue to your horror.

he pulled away, yanking on your arms. you whined at the emptiness he left, as he put you on your knees, facing the wall. he held your shoulder firmly, another on your hips until you gave him enough space to join you in the bed, hips aligned for him to push himself back in. your body jolted in pleasure, strangled moans came out of your throat as he felt you up in a new position.

“i want to see you,” you pouted.

he hummed, planting kisses all over your back. “you stared too much, you’ll get hazy and dumb, can’t have it that way,” his hips thrusted forward to meet your hips halfway, resuming your ‘treatment’. he kept another hand occupied against your growing tits, rolling the hardened buds. he let a soft curse out of his lips, realising how it no longer fit in his whole palm. it fascinated him how your body were changing by days, his cock twitched, thinking of days he could be exploring your body onwards.

your calls snapped him off his thoughts. pulling you by the neck, he looked down on your face. you had bitten through the skin of your lips as you came, shuddering in pleasure as xiao continued to fuck you through your high. with every thrust he could see his girth cover in white, glistening in your fluid. pussy still squelching and gushing echoing the small space. “archon, what the fuck did you do?” he brushed the blood away, tinting your lips red.

“s’tired,” you mumbled and he leaned down, kissing your lips, lapping your tiny cuts until what’s left was nothing.

“i’m so close, you want me to fill you up full?” he asked firmly, nuzzling his nose against your hair, planting soft kisses against your flushed ears. you nodded, mouthing a weak okay. “you sure? we can stop,” he teased, slowing his hips again. “your pleasantries are annoying, can you just fuck me?” you startled yourself with the words, glancing backward only to see amused face of your lover.

xiao laughed.

his laughter echoed the room, sight you had never seen before. he didn’t say anything, kissing a spot lower down your neck, agreeing silently. his thrusts were sloppier now, he was chasing his high. with your wall tensing up, tightening along his sensitive girth providing him a challenge to thrust forward. his brows knitted in pleasure, you could hear and feel his ragged breaths against your skin.

you closed your eyes, echoing the same pleasure. it wasn’t long, xiao could feel his own body tensing up, knot tensing in his stomach threatening to snap. “you’re mine, understand?” he didn’t wait for you to answer, you vowed to be his the moment you decided to die for the child. he was cumming, shooting ropes of his seeds deep inside your cunt like he had done before. the familiarity was a comfort. he eased his thrusts until you both sat frozen in each other arms. he struggled to catch a breath, seeing stars with every blink of his eyes, resting his cheeks flat against your back.

you didn’t speak, staring at him hazy as he sat you down. he checked every inch of you, not a bruise, not a scratch left untouched. his theory worked. he didn’t wait until you were down from the high, cleaning and dressing you up until he was sure that the eyes were staring back into his were normal. his energy subsided, xiao felt more exhausted than he usually was.

you stared deep into his dilated eyes.

“can i help you?” you asked bluntly, brushing his cheeks. he shook his head, nudging to the bed, “help me by resting. you need to rest.”

“your ey-“

he hushed you, “i’ll be okay.”

you finally felt the exhaustion crashing in the moment your head rest on the soft pillow. you didn’t feel nauseous. your yawn echoed the room. “i’ll rest if you stay.” he pulled his shirt over, glancing over your figure. “i will but i need to leave for a moment.” you squinted your eyes in annoyance, rolling away as your eyes slowly shut. “you’ll need more than fucking to make me accept your apology if you are not back.” you felt it, a kiss on your shoulder and a kiss on your head before all it left was dead silence.

but he did, despite an arm away on the bed.

your xiao were on the bed when morning came.

just like he had promised

© all content belongs to noritoshiikamo. do not modify or repost.

taglist: @cheolinn @duskamethyst @shadowarchon @crashed-wing @smuttyrb @boopolya @lilian-ch-s @akinokisetsu @ambieux @munsonsins -listen im using an one year old fic tag list so if it aint ya shit anymore its fine teehee

#writing: fics #writing: genshin #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #xiao x you #xiao x y/n #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader smut

[blue-moonjelly]

Quiet Fears

Demon Brothers x NB reader

{angst and later comfort, mental health insecurities, discussion of anxiety and depression, reassuring and comforting}

*note: I’m admittedly not used to writing this type of thing, but lately I’ve been finding myself in the similar position regarding mental health and I just thought it was something many others could relate to, it’s a little choppy but I hope someone can find a little bit of comfort in it*

For weeks now, everyone in the house of lamentation could sense something in the air when it came to you.

First noticing the small changes, the way your smiles made fewer appearances, the manner in which you chose to spend time alone more often, and the odd habit of spacing out during conversations that once elicited thousands of words from you.

Though everyone was quick to take notice of these changes, it had been mutually decided among them that no one would speak of it unless it came from you, and that each of them would give you your space and be patient in their concerns.

Even if it did kill them.

"Hey has anyone seen MC" Mammon asked as he made his way through the kitchen, catching the attention of the twins who had been in the midst of taking out a freshly baked cake from the oven, "I wanna show them this new plushie I bought today, thinking it might be their thing, y'know"?

"No, we haven't" Belphie answered first.

"We've been baking their favorite" Beel continued "A devil's dark chocolate cake, and I haven't had a single bite yet"

"MC" Levi called out while also stumbling into the kitchen with Satan right at his side, "Oh, we were looking for MC, I wanna show them the new game we've been waiting months for to release, it has music with Ruri-chan's backing vocals" he practically squealed.

"And I wanted to show them this new blanket I got for us to share when we do our daily readings by the fireplace" Satan explained as he hold up the softest blanket any of them had ever seen, he blushed while explaining himself, "none of our blankets keep them warm enough".

"MC, oh my darling MC" Asmodeus hummed as he skipped past the kitchen, only stopping when he caught a glance at the formed group from the corner of his eye, "oh you're all here, I was looking for MC so I could show them this new set of press on nails I made them, I wanted to make the perfect ones just for my little darling"

"Yeah well get in line Asmo, 'cause I'm gonna be the first one who gets to give MC a present" Mammon spoke up first as he broke from the group and began to run straight to MC's room, yelling over his brothers who protested as they quickly followed from behind.

"Nothing is wrong" your voice suddenly boomed out from the common room, quickly stopping the brothers in their tracks as they turned to see you lash out at Lucifer in front of the fireplace.

The brothers all stood within the entrance, crowding next to one another as they looked between their eldest brother and MC, both of them staring down the other with a glare.

"that's not very convincing" Lucifer responded, his voice and body language both seemingly calm, but anyone could tell the blood inside of him was boiling.

Lucifer, the one who was usually the most logical of the bunch was now going against the unsaid rules they all had written, his emotions leading him into a heated search for MC.

"What do you want me to say Lucifer" you continued to yell, "seriously, since you seem to know my emotions better than I do, tell me, what is it exactly that you're waiting for me to admit. Do you want me to bother everyone with my problems? You want me to be a burden in saying that I'm sad without even having a valid reason? That I'm sad when everything in my life seems to be going so well, that I'm anxious it will all break away just as quickly as it came, that I'm scared all of you will one day wake up and realize I'm just a mere human who can't even handle their own shit? is that what you want me to say Lucifer?"

You finally managed to notice the rest of the brothers crowding the entrance of the common room, each of them staring back at you.

"MC" Lucifer's voice trailed off as he called your name in a delicate whisper.

“This is just the way my brain works Lucifer, it’s sad it’s scary and it’s shitty. The truth is that there's never just one thing that's really wrong, I wish there was and I could just give you all a simple explanation" you began to speak in a less heated tone. You had been dreading ever having this conversation, you were scared of ever having to explain yourself and deep inside you hoped that it never would have to be addressed. You were happy, the happiest you could ever remember being, surely your mind could just accept that.

"I've just always been like this for as long as I can remember, my fears and emotions are heightened so much more than other humans. I take medication to help and do things to keep me busy and for the most part it helps, but there are other times when nothing or no one can, and I'm simply just in a dark pit that I need to rest in for a moment" you then took a careful breath as you tried to remain some composure, "I just never wanted you all to see this part of me, the person who can't even save themself from their own mind”.

It was silent, you didn’t dare try to make eye contact with anyone, fear that you scared them off was enough to nibble you into a cowering submission, fiddling with your fingers as you stared off into the fire place that flickered before you.

Suddenly, you were being scooped into Lucifer’s familiar grip and carried off of your feet before being placed on the couch. A large soft blanket being draped around you and Satan who sat to your left, Mammon tucking himself to your right side as he patted a plushie you both cuddled between, Levi scooting himself to one knee as he brought out his console to show you the game you both had been waiting months for, Asmo grabbing your left hand and leaning close to your other knee as he prepped your nails for a press on set, the twins joyfully talking between themselves at the front of your legs while they both began to cut pieces from a cake they had.

“There is nothing you have to explain” Lucifer said from above your head as he brushed his fingers between the strands of your hair, “you just have to know and remember that we love you MC, all of you” he ended with a kiss to the top of your head.

None of them were questioning you, no awkward glances or tip toeing over you in silence, they simply accepted what you had to say and treated you as you always wished others would. They comforted you in the best way they knew how, by being present and loving you as their selves.

You couldn’t help it, the tears rushed down your cheeks as you felt an inexplicable rush of warmth and love from the demons you knew adored you. A relief like nothing you had ever felt before, washed over you as everyone continued to unconditionally accept and love you.

You didn’t try to hide these tears though, in fact you were thankful for them, for there were no better words you could use to describe the amount of adoration you had for these boys.

#obey me #obey me mc #x reader #om! shall we date #beel obey me #mammonobeyme #mammon x reader #satan #shall we date satan #asmodeous #asmo obey me #obey me lucifer #shall we date lucifer #belphegor x you #obey me belphagor x reader #levi obey me #levi x y/n #levi x reader #shall we date mc #shall we date beelzebub #shall we date asmodeus #shall we date mammon #shall we date belphegor #shall we date otome

[dr-ground-zero]

A burden shared

(this is a hurt + sickfic for Luci/Lilith, there isn't alot of snez in this but, i like it honestly and I hope ya'll do too. CW description of a battle field, death, injuries and blood (nothing too gory, i'm not a monster))

This was the end, the end of his life as a Seraphim, as the angel of death, as god’s favorite, all because he dared to dream. He weakly looked up at the red sky of Hell’s pride, the angels and exorcists were now flying back up to heaven leaving him and Lilith to pick up the pieces of their new home. Bodies were everywhere, bodies of sinners and a few hellborns lay dead in the streets. The clouds darkened with rain, harsh winds blew through their bodies with vengeance. Lilith watched her husband weakly stagger to his feet, stumbling through craters of the earth, tip toeing around entrails of what remained. He approach an old abandoned worn-down castle. Lucifer knew he didn’t have much strength left, he used most of what he had to fight to try and stay in heaven or to protect and heal Lilith. Still, they needed somewhere to stay, so he pressed his hands to the walls and with the last bit of magic, he had transformed it to its reformed state.

“Lucifer what are you doing!?” Lilith asked as she limped up behind him

“If we’re going to be down here, we might as well make the best of it” Lucifer smiled softly right before collapsing. Lilith grabbed him before her lover could hit the ground, she watched as the castle changed, its color becoming brighter, bricks falling back into place. Some of the other angels that fell alongside Lucifer-that weren’t gravely injured or dead- hurried to open the doors for her. Lilith carried Lucifer inside while being followed by her fellow fallen, for a while they took residence on the ground floor until they were strong enough to adventure upwards. Many of the appliances and furniture from the inside needed a mend or updating but it was better than being stuck out in the pouring rain.

When she found the-what would be considered- the master bedroom, she laid Lucifer down gently and began to bandage up what she could while he was unconscious. As a day or two went on some kind demons would bring over what they could to help. The change overnight was overwhelming, to say the least. Going from living in heaven and now in hell was jarring, they had lost everything, their home, their food, and those they thought would never betray them were the ones to almost kill them!

When Lucifer was conscious they both had to grapple with their new reality and it wasn’t easy. Still, they’d make do with what they had.

“ih! IIZZSCHYUE!” “Bless you, Luci, darling are you sure you’re alright?” Inquired Lilith as she let her husband help wash the dried blood from her body. Lucifer nods while rubbing at his nose with a wet sniffle.

“Yes dear, I’m alright. How are you doing?” “Still a bit sore but, better than yesterday, thank you.” Lilith kissed the top of his head while pushing his wet hair out of his face with a soft smile. It was good to see him finally not covered in golden blood. However, she couldn’t tell if it was because he was still recovering or if he had caught something. He had been sneezing since they woke up, his throat sounded painful and strained, not to mention the sniffling. Lilith did manage to sustain a few bad injuries herself, some Lucifer was able to heal himself, though others still needed time.

“I’m so sorry you got dragged into this Lili flower, you didn’t deserve this.” He apologized as he continued to wash Lilith’s body letting her blood be rinsed off and drained by the shower. Lilith shook her head and cupped his face in her hands making him look up at her. Her eyes met his with an adoring glint.

“I followed you by choice Lucifer, I followed you on my own volition, I chose to stick by you and I wouldn’t have it any other way. There’s no need to apologize my love” Lucifer looked up at her with admiration, oh how he loved her so much. Just as he was finishing up to let Lilith wash him up he let out a sudden

“Ih’kgnk! Gnnx-chiew! Hgk-chiew!” A wince and a groan slipped from his lips and he clutched his sides. Lilith quickly reached for him cautiously fearing he would fall over. Lucifer held onto the wall to steady himself and gasped out.

“Sorry, I-I’ll be okay.” Lilith shook her head at this and asked for Lucifer to be honest with her. The blond-haired demon twiddled his fingers a bit while muttering.

“Bm-maybe I’m a little under the weather. Ndothing serious I promise.” Lilith didn’t fully trust his answer, turning off the shower she grabbed a towel and wrapped him and then herself up.

“Stay here and dry off, I will go and fetch fresh warm pajamas and bandages, fix you up and you’ll be off to bed.” She says while carefully sitting Lucifer down on the closed toilet before leaving the bathroom. Lucifer couldn’t help but feel bad for her doing all this for him, he should be able to take care of himself he was the king of hell for hell's sake! But here he was sitting covered in stab wounds, bruises, gashes, and scars. Pathetically snuffling and sneezing while his wife who was still healing from her own injuries was taking care of him. He grumbled to himself while wiping his runny nose on the towel. He didn’t feel as bad when he woke up, but now it was starting to settle in. The aching grew worse with any sort of sudden movement, especially to his chest and ribs. He felt like he couldn’t get warm, his body still shivering underneath the thick fluffy soft towel. His head was clogged with congestion even with his nose running like a broken faucet. And don’t even get him started on his poor throat!

Lilith came back dressed in a casual nightgown with a first aid kit in hand. She went through and rebandaged his injuries trying to be as gentle as possible. She hated to feel him flinch from her touch, she hated even more how overly warm his skin felt to her. She reached into the box pulled out a thermometer and held it up to his mouth.

“Can you keep this under your tongue for me, dear?” Without another word, Lucifer opened his mouth just enough for her to slide the tool under his tongue. As she waited for the results she went back to assessing and fixing him up. A soft yet sad expression washed over her, she was still getting used to Lucifer’s new form. His eyes used to be this bright blue color now turned red and would sometimes change to a dilated menacing gold. His lower half was more goat-like, but now he had a long demon’s tail with an arrow tip that he wasn’t the best at controlling.

His hands which used to be a palish white now blackened from the forearms to the tips of his fingers. These features would become more apparent when angry, he would sprout horns and spitfire. She had changed, Lilith also had horns that would change in size as did her height. Even with the change not being as visibly significant as Lucifer’s, it was still something to adjust to! Yet she still adored the man before her, and he still adored her just the same. The thermometer was done by the time she had finished with the last set of bandages. Looking over the results she sighed and packed it away.

“No wonder you feel so awful, 101.5 isn’t good. It's not too high but, with your injuries, I’m still worried.” Extending a hand out to her husband, she helped dress him in comfortable pajamas as promised and helped him to beg. It hurt him more to see the bandages on Lilith’s ankles and wrists, he hated that she got hurt at all. He watched as she limped around trying to adjust her weight as she walked around.

“Lili, love wh-why dodn’t you rest a bmidute, I can manage on my own love.” He suggested hesitantly he outstretched his arms but had to reel back to muffle a few sneezes.

“Ih hih! IIZZSCHYUE IIZZSCHYUE!” Biting the inside of his cheek to hold back a grunt from pain he went back to making grabby hands at his wife. Of course, she couldn’t say no to him, so she climbed into bed alongside him. Shuffling up to her, he laid his head just barely against her. Lilith pulled him closer laying his head on her chest, her hands started to comb through his damp hair.

“Bless you, I do hope you feel better soon, Luci. I’m sorry you feel so awful.” “Thagks, it's alright Lili flower, I’ll be okay. I’ll be better after sobe sleep. I prombise.” Although she didn’t believe him, he wasn’t wrong about needing rest, he needed as much as he could get! She hummed in agreement and continued to stroke his head soothingly till they both ended up back asleep.

Due to how this cold was going Lucifer didn’t know how long he had slept but when he woke up he was utterly blocked up. He couldn’t get a stream of air through his nose, felt like it was filled with a wall of cement. His throat still hurt to the point of coughing, shit he didn’t need a cough on top of this! He also didn’t need to wake Lilith with it either. So he forced what strength he thought he had and slinked out of bed. The walk down the stairs was agonizing, each step felt like a shock wave of pain that coursed through his ailing body. Making it to the kitchen, he turned on the kettle after filling it with water and waited for it to boil.

Being out of bed wasn’t helping his chills, maybe he should’ve taken a blanket with him. His shoulders were hunched over as he sat on a stool in front of the countertop shivering and rubbing at his nose that for fuck sake wouldn’t stop twitching!

“Uhh…? IIYISSCHUE IIYISSCHUE! IYIIMPH!” He managed to muffle the last sneeze into his shirt thankfully but damn were those sneezes dizzying and strong. It felt like he had the wind knocked out of him! He had to hold onto the counter hoping not to fall off. The harshness of his sneezes ended up making him cough. Clutching his torso torso to try and lessen the pain, he was left gasping shakily for air.

“Damb that fuckig hurt” He whined out before hopping off the stool as the sound of boiling water rolled inside the kettle. Grabbing a mug he poured the water into the cup, grabbed some honey and lemon, and stirred it around, he also made a cup for Lilith. They also needed to eat something, maybe cooking couldn’t hurt him, it was just soup, right? He grabbed what they had and got started on making soup.

He may or may not have overestimated how much strength he had and was beginning to tire out. Fighting his body to stay upright wasn’t as easy as it sounded with each sneeze wracking his body and scratching at his sore throat. Even with him leaning against the counter while he let his soup cook he could feel his energy depleting.

“Sh-shit hih! IIYISSCHUE IIYISSCHUE!” These two had him desperately holding onto anything he could to stay on his feet.

“Luci?” A soft yet worried voice called out, Lucifer didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Lilith.

“Hi darling” He replied while using his sleeve to wipe at his nose.

“What are you doing out of bed?” She didn’t sound angry just concerned, Lucifer held up a mug of tea and handed it to her.

“I figured we needed sobethig to eat or drink so I went and made sobe tea, and soup is sti-stihh still cooking Hih! Kgnk! Ugh Sorry.” Taking the mug Lilith sighed and pulled her husband to her.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed, love, you can hardly stand up.” Lucifer shook his head and tried mustering up a smile.

“You’ve done so much already, and I’m perfectly well enough to make something for us, you’re still hurt too. I didn’t want you to do too much” Lucifer’s voice cracked almost painfully, Lilith cringed at how bad he sounded. Reached for a cloth she pressed it to his nose.

“Blow your nose dear, I can hardly understand you.” Blushing in embarrassment Lucifer tried to wiggle his way out of it but Lilith wasn’t having it. So he did as told, even though he hated being this weak in front of her. She gingerly cleaned up his face before looking at the contents in the pot grabbed the spoon to stir things around and added spices.

“I’ll take care of the soup, you sit back and enjoy your tea okay.” Lucifer pouted at this and tried to protest this.

“I’ve got it Lili Flower, please.” His attempt was weak, and Lilith smiled at him warmly.

“I know you do, and you got just about everything started, i’m just finishing it up for you, like how we used to. So please let me help.” She kissed his forehead, she could feel the heat radiating from him and it worried her. He shouldn’t be straining himself so much, she didn’t want his fever to get any higher. The king of hell huffed and agreed, this was something they would do at times. One would start cooking and the other would either help or come in later and take over. Yet he didn’t want Lilith doing all the work.

When the soup was done, they went back up the stairs to their bedroom and curled up under the covers. They both ate their soup cuddled up beside each other. The warmth of the soup and tea did wonders at warming him up from the inside. For once he wasn’t shaking like a leaf in the wind, it was also loosening up the congestion clogging up his head. The only downside was it made his nose run which resulted him in not so gently rubbing and wiping at it to keep himself from making a mess. Lilith looked over at him hearing a small grumbling noise from him and saw him harshly scrubbing at his nose that was almost a bright red color. She giggled a little at this, she couldn’t help but comment on it.

“Oh Luci love, be careful. Your nose is already so red.”This had Lucifer blushing deeper and almost looking crossed-eyed down at his nose. Lilith laughed harder at her husband’s antics.

“How's your soup?” Lucifer asked trying to keep from blushing any harder.

“It's good, you did a good job love.” Lucifer grinned a little at her compliment and leaned into her side as he set his bowl aside.

“I’mb glad, felt bad about you doig everything, I had to do sobethig for you.” Lilith’s brows furrowed confusedly, setting down her own bowl she asked for him to elaborate. Lucifer’s grin turned sheepish and the tips of his pointy ears tinted the same as his cheeks.

“W-well you’ve been taking care of me since we fell from hell. You’ve been doing everything, bandaging me up, helping me shower, making food, helping the other fallen, and all I’ve done was lie here like a pathetic log while you did all the work.” Tears lined the rims of his eyes as he looked away from the half-human half-demon queen. He looked down at his bandaged arms as he couldn’t face her like this.

“Y-You don’t deserve this Lilith…You deserve to be happy, you deserve to see the good in people, and you deserve to see the light and be up in paradise….Not stuck down here with sobe loser who thigks his dreams will get hib ady where.” Before Lucifer could continue as the tears rained down his face, he felt warm palms gently cup his face and the weight of the bed shifting. He was pulled into a tender kiss by the woman who was now straddling his waist. She made sure not to put too much of her weight on him as she did this not wanting to hurt him.

“Lucifer, I told you before, I chose to do this with you. From the moment I left Adam to now, everything I did was by choice. Sure some things I did unsure of the outcomes but I do not regret them, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be with you. I’m taking care of you because you took care of me, you took the brunt of the attack, you took those spears, arrows, and whatever else they threw at you….When they took me from you and asked whether I would take the same fate as you, I knew that I would be exiled, but I chose to do it because I would still be with you. That is all that matters to me. That I am with you, and that we are both happy. Me taking care of you is the least I could do for you!” She pulled him into a hug as she continued.

“I love you, whether you are Sameal the Seraphim and angel of death, or Lucifer Magne Morningstar, sin of pride and king of hell. You took a risk, and it may not have gone as planned, but it's a start, and I don’t want you to give up. Please. Lucifer.” Her voice breaking as she pleaded to him, Lucifer hesitantly wrapped his arms around her slowly melting into her embrace.

“So please just let me take care of you….You don’t have to take this on all on your own…” Her voice almost a whisper. At first, Lucifer remained silent before he nuzzled his face into the crook of her shoulder while nodding.

“Alright, my precious Lili flower. We can share this burden together…as king and queen.”

#groundzero fics #non kink blogs don't interact #snzblr fandom #I hope ya'll liked this #i honestly had fun writing it #let me know if ya'll want more of this fandom from me

[lylylylyy]

As a Touya stan I'm frustrated with the new chapter because Enji still mainly saw Touya as some kind of responsibility, not his kid wanting his attention from the very beginning.

When Enji faces Touya, the first thing we know about him is that he notices phosphor, which leads to the question of asking about Shouto's well-being.

Enji's question is rather reasonable since Touya made it clear that killing Shouto is his goal, and it's natural for Enji to be concerned about Shouto, the kid he showed to care the most in the series who could be dead. However, what annoys me is that he showed no concern about Touya's health-I mean, looking at Touya. The whole fandom and the characters in the manga are all wondering how he could be alive. He is basically on his last legs yet Enji here showed zero concern about this fact.

Contrary to Enji's concern for Touya in the previous chapter, he chose to ask the rather triggering question related to Touya's whole trauma of being thrown away by his parents for his younger brother, which is not beneficial for Touya's overall health state at all. Seeing this, I couldn't help but feel that some people in the fandom are way too optimistic about Enji's parenting skills. He is trying, yet his attempt is far from a good try, so I don't think the worries and frustrations are unsupported in the text.

Also, I noticed the final words, "父に課されたのは…" after the last panel. It's not Enji pov but still represents the author's attitude towards Enji's emotions.

父 means father, and 課された is not a very good word here. It means be imposed on, usually used to describe a burden or loan. Thus it gives me the feeling that the next chapter will not be the heart-to-heart conversation about Enji's love for Touya when he was young, just a talk about the responsibilities Enji had to take. No potential affection or caring parents vibes, only some obliged resignation.

I understand that Enji's reactions would absolutely make sense, since Enji was never a kind person in the past and he's not used to the thought of caring for Touya as a parent for 10 years. But as a person whose supposed redemption arc of becoming a decent father is receiving so many praises, Enji in this chapter feels pretty lame and upsets me because he failed to reach that bar again.

Horikoshi's been pretty busy, and I hope he could get the rest that he deserves. I understand that this chapter is short due to his alarming health condition and we will get the next chapter where meaningful things would probably happen between Touya and Enji. However, judging from the text, their upcoming interactions seem rather dim and uncertain to me.

We know that Enji thinks his mission(my translation of 使命, the word he used in the chapter) is to keep eyes on Touya, but keeping eyes on Touya now won't just magically remove the pain of being rejected for over a decade. I pessimistically think it would be just another battle shounen fighting scene, where Enji takes damages from Touya and fails to say anything that would be impactful enough to stop Touya from his self-destructive mental state. It might make a difference as Shouto and his Phosphor did, but it won't be strong enough to totally chill Touya. I just hope the next chapter will prove that I was wrong.

Considering the cultural background, the typical harsh East-Asian father Enji would not suddenly become a person that has no shame in acknowledging his affection and worries towards his son. Like the scene with Natsuo getting kidnapped, I strongly doubt that he would give the interactions western society considered the right things to do.

As for the Todoroki endgame, I can't help but think about Shouto, who genuinely desired to know his brother despite the sad fact they probably shared 0 good memories in the past. Touya 100% knows that his crimes would be a burden for his father, but as a person with very low self-worth, he won’t anticipate his family to want him back as a beloved member. I feel it pretty unrealistic if Enji turns out to be a loving A+ parent and solves Touya's issues all by himself, so I believe the narratives won't just go that far.

Therefore, I assume the father-son fighting scene would end with Shouto interfering. However, another scene of stopping Touya with ice again would be pretty unnecessary. My guess is AFO would do something stupid and Toga would be convinced by Ochako to stop the parade and help her friends, and Shouto might come to help Touya take AFO.

PS: I am not a native English speaker so I might end up writing weird or offensive sentences while not knowing about them. Please tell me if I was wrong or being rude _(:з」∠)_

#mha 376 #bnha 376 #mha spoilers #endeavor #todoroki enji #dabi #todoroki touya #ly thoughts #mha manga spoilers #mha manga leaks #shoto todoroki #touya todoroki #enji todoroki