#anyway this is all triggered by me sending someone (hi bunni <3) a post of misha collin's sfx make up in gotham knights that popped up as a | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missskzbiased · 3 years

Text

Mushy Bad Boy

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Oneshot, Drabble, Established Relationship, Corny Changbin trying not to be lol

Pairing: Seo Changbin x Fem! Reader

Word Count: ~2,8K

Chan || Minho || Changbin || Hyunjin || Han || Felix || Seungmin || Jeongin

Masterlist

Notes: So that’s my first fanfic for the Valentine’s request [That you can find here, since it’s still open for Seungmin and Jeongin. I can also try to incorporate other requests to the ones I didn’t finish writing yet]

My plans are to post one fic for each one of them [If Seungmin and Jeongin get requests] until Valentine’s day. I’m trying my best to keep the schedule, but it may not be possible, since I’m busy throughout the week. I’ll still post it anyway [hopefully before February ends lol]

Warnings: Mentions of food/cooking [Just realized it, sorry. And I’m not sure if there is anything else to be warned. If you feel the need to be warned about something here, please let me know]

Requested: Yes, by @aliceu

General Tag List: @channiewoo

[If you wish to be tagged to the other Valentine’s requests, please send me an ask <3]

/////

Changbin was acting hella strange.

“Yeah… So, you know? Maybe we should have our date at my place? Would it be okay with you?” It could be all in your head, but you were pretty sure Changbin sounded as if he was freaking the hell out on the other side of the line “Well- I mean, we can still go to the restaurant if you prefer… I’m not that sick! I can totally—“ You chortled at his uneasy tone, pinching the bridge of your nose as you shook your head in amusement.

He was totally freaking out.

“Baby” You spoke in the gentlest way possible, trying to reassure him “I’ll be there in a minute, okay? Stop freaking out for a second and listen to me” It was his time to chortle. You could almost see him nodding while licking his lips, just to bit them right after and lower his gaze to hide his amusement, pretending to be the cool kid in the room, “Do you need me to bring you any meds? Are you… Is your stomach okay?” He groaned on the other side, making you chuckle at his embarrassed self “We’re dating! You can tell me if you need to take a dum—“

“Yah! I don’t need to take a—“ He huffed, interrupting you, exasperated by the mere thought of saying the word dump “Woah… How can you say something like this to your own boyfriend?!” He nagged, and you held back your laughter, picturing the disgusted grimace he was surely displaying on his face right now “Just come over, for the Lord’s sake, woman! I don’t need any meds, I just need yo—“ He cleared his throat “I just need you to be here for our date” He completed shyly, voice waning by the second.

You let the grin spread over your face, swinging your body from side to side coyly.

“Okay, baby!” You spoke in a singsong, gathering all your strength not to point out how he was just about to say he needed you and throw out of the window all of his I’m-too-cool-and-dark-for-this-world-watch-me-wearing-black-all-day image in a second “I love you” You smiled as he muttered it back to you, picking up on his squeak as he turned off the phone.

////

As soon as you got to his house, you settled on being noisy.

“Honey, I’m home!” You shouted excitedly, clattering your spare keys as you came in “This is the first time I used those!” You chirped, eyes shining as you kept shaking it in the air; the keychain ─ a huge pig head with bunny ears that looked incredibly similar to your dear boyfriend ─ dangling along with the keys and hitting your finger, making you hiss in pain “Ouch!” You whined, pouting as your chuckling boyfriend made his way to you.

“Honey, I’m home?” He asked amusedly, though you could see the pink dusting his cheeks in an alluring way that made you want to tease him a little bit “Are we married already?” He joked, eyebrows joining in a mocking way that triggered you to intensify your pouting and look at him with big doe eyes, feigning an overly cute antic “What is it?” He asked uneasily as you pointed at him, finger hovering right over his lips.

“If you kiss it better, I can think about marrying you” You fought back a grin as his ears set aflame and he lowered his head, attempting to hide it from you just to bump his nose on your finger in the process. He let out a whimper that enticed a giggle from you, and you wished you could look at his face right now but all you could see was the top of his head “You’re too cute to this world” You cooed, wrapping him in your arms as he let his chin rest on your shoulder.

“I’m not cute” He whined, head tilting to lean on the side of yours, “I’m the coolest boyfriend on Earth” He added quietly, and you couldn’t help but smile fondly as you stroke his hair, nodding to agree with him silently “Moreover!” He snapped, straightening himself to look you in the eyes before holding your hand and bringing it closer to his face, placing a quick kiss on your finger “I’ll be the coolest husband too!” He stated proudly, though his face gave his embarrassment away.

The fluttering feeling on the pitch of your stomach built up to the point you felt your whole chest burning and any proper thoughts melted away from your brain as you opened and closed your mouth at a loss of words. That was one of the things you loved the most about him… Changbin could make your heart burst inside your chest and turn you into a mushy pudding in a matter of seconds without even trying to do so. All those bad-boy vibes he tried to give off just melted away when he was around you, and you couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy inside when you thought that this was a side that was meant only for the closest ones to him.

And you were one of those lucky bastards.

Changbin made his way to the fridge, leaning there and crossing his arms as he gave you a smug look, lips quirking up in a smirk as he pretended to be casual. You arched your brow, tilting your head to the side as to ask him what he was up to, and he answered it with a shrug, sticking his lip out and humming in faux wonder. He casually looked at the clock on the wall, fixing his eyes there for a second too long that made you follow his gaze curiously.

“It’s kinda late already” He pointed out in an all too calculated tone “Since I’m at fault on our date going down the drain, maybe I should make us something to eat” He offered carefully, and you were sure he had rehearsed it thousands of times as he stood there stiffly waiting for your answer.

“Yeah, sure” You agreed anyway, choosing not to question him about it, “We can order something from that place you have been wanting to go –“ You had your phone in your hands in a second, mindlessly looking through your messages to find the place.

“What?! No! No! No!” He blurted out ─ voice going high pitched for a second ─, waving his hand vehemently to dismiss the idea “I meant I would cook for us!” He explained, and you almost dropped your phone to the floor, snapping your eyes at him in surprise “I mean, I’ve done my groceries shopping yesterday and your favorite dish is pasta… Which isn’t that difficult to cook, right? So I thought you could watch me cooking” He sounded insecure, voice lowering by the second, making you giggle as you approached him, which just seemed to make him even more nervous, “Or we can cook together! Did we ever cook together before? Whatever you wanna do—“ You pecked his cheek, letting the grin spread over your face as you bumped his nose fondly.

“So my cool boyfriend will cook my favorite dish on Valentine’s Day?” You asked knowingly “What a coincidence” You chuckled, and he shrugged as if he didn’t know anything about what you were trying to suggest “So I guess I’ll sit down as I watch my manly boyfriend” You rested your chin on his chest, making sure to connect your eyes with his as you entangled his waist “With those big beautiful arms…” You added when he wrapped you up, giving you a tight hug and trying to hide his smug grin “…Being the most perfect boyfriend in this entire world” You concluded, smiling against his chest, nuzzling him.

“That’s right, I’ll flex my skills so you’ll fall for me even more” He stated proudly, pressing his index finger on his forehead and closing his eyes as he twisted his face in a jokingly cocky expression, letting you go and shoving you to the stool.

“I don’t think that’s possible” You chuckled, making your way to the stool and sitting there, resting your elbows on the counter and cupping your face as you watched him turning around, probably hiding his flustered self. He opened the fridge, picking up all the previously separated ingredients (and he still dared to act as if he didn’t plan anything), and organizing them carefully as if he was making a tutorial video.

You would bet he had watched thousands of YouTubers to do this.

The admiration and soft feeling dissolved quickly into an almost failed attempt to hold your laughter as your boyfriend ─ that was clearly nervous even if you could only see his back ─ crackled an egg and let its content fall to the sink. He let out a heavy sigh, hand smashing the eggshell when his first reflex was to lean on the counter in utter disappointment with himself. He shook his hand with disgust, trying to get rid of the small white pieces and the sticky translucid liquid as he glanced at you to check for your reaction.

“I’m not usually like this” He rushed to defend himself, and this time you couldn’t hold back your laughter, breaking into a fit of giggles “I mean it! I never did it while someone was watching me…” He nagged, avoiding your eyes. You pursed your lips and tried to hide the adoration that spread inside your chest as he pouted, hurting eyes focusing on the ground as he mumbled something under his breath, washing his hands.

“I didn’t even say anything” You chuckled, looking at him fondly.

“You didn’t need to, I can smell your banter from miles away!” He whined.

“Come on” You sighed, getting up from the stool “I know you’re just nervous because that’s your first time cooking for me” You reassured him, walking to the cupboard to get a bowl to help him out “Let’s do it together, okay? This way we’ll get to eat sooner and you can calm down a bit” You giggled, standing on tiptoe. You felt his eyes on your back, studying you from behind as you floundered to reach for the bowl, and he chuckled as he made his way to you.

“Do we need some help here?” He teased, raspy voice sounding right beside your left ear as his warmth sank into your body and his arm got in your vision range, reaching for the bowl.

“I think we do, yeah” You joked as he cleared his throat, standing on tiptoe just like you. He collided with you, groaning as he tried to stretch his arm the better that he could but only briefly brushing the bowl inside the cupboard “Get me a fork or something so I can reach for it” You asked ─ trapped against the counter ─ but he just ignored you, fluttering his fingers to get a chance to touch the object but failing it again.

“Jeez” He mumbled upset, lowering his hand and standing more comfortably on the floor “Why is everything going wrong today? I can pick it up, I always do it!” He whined, trying to reach for it again as you tried to sneak away from him to get something helpful to the situation.

The sudden motion threw him off balance.

It all happened too fast, and you couldn’t really point out what really was going on when you crashed onto his chest, hands instinctively going to the back of his head to prevent him from hurting himself. You lifted your head, scrunching your hurting nose and staring at him in confusion as he sighed, resting his head on your hands and pressing them against the floor, looking into your eyes in utter devastation.

“It looks like I have failed this city” He sighed, arms around you to make sure you were secure into his hold “I just wanted to be the cool perfect boyfriend you always wanted…” He stroke your back a few times before letting you go, arms dropping to his sides as he looked away from you “… But I messed everything up”

“What are you talking about? You’re the cool perfect boyfriend I always wanted” You reassured him, hands going to his face to gently guide his gaze back to yours “It doesn’t matter if you get nervous to the point of being unable to crack an egg” You chuckled, caressing his cheeks softly “Or if you’re not tall enough to pick up stuff from the cupboard…” You leaned in, pecking his lips before offering him a shy smile “Or if you’re a bad boy or a cute little bean…” He placed his hand on top of yours, rubbing soft circles with his thumb “You’re exactly what I always wanted, Binnie”

He was beaming.

At first, you thought Changbin was going to cry right there and then, but his quirking lips twisted up while fighting a grin from spreading on his face; eyes glinting as if it was holding a thousand million stars inside it, conveying the happiness he felt exploding inside his chest right now. He let the smile get to his features, licking his lips before biting them and look at you with mischievous eyes, nodding in acknowledgment and letting some kind of mocking humming hanging in the air like an alarm, making your snort. He wrapped you up again, looking into your eyes filled with amusement and bliss before bumping his nose on yours and nuzzling you for a second.

“So you’re saying you love me the most, hm?” He asked, and you giggled, nuzzling him back.

“Did I ever make you doubt it?” You said playfully, kissing him briefly “Seo Changbin… I love you the most, you silly” You rolled your eyes “Bad-boy façade or mushy pudding” You smiled when he whimpered, trying to contain his giggle.

“Well… That’s good to hear!” He admitted, lifting his torso and guiding you to get up with him, dusting off his clothes before pointing to the curtains hiding the balcony “You said your ideal type was a bad boy before we started to date, so…” He trailed off, embarrassed, “Well, I wanted to make you happy” He shrugged, blushing when you cooed.

“I just said that because you were trying to look like a bad boy!” You laughed, slapping him lightly “I wanted you to know that I was into you, dumbass” He stared blankly at you, blinking a few times before muttering an ‘Oh’ that made you chortle “Is that why you’re pretending it’s not planned?” You asked, amused by his surprised expression.

“You knew?!” He widened his eyes, hands going to his hips before he raised one of them to his face, hiding behind it “I can’t believe it… Why didn’t you tell me anything?!” He whined, “God, this is so embarrassing!” You muffled your laughter, and he pouted cutely, pretending to hit your shoulder “Well, thank God you told me this now! I was wondering how I would make you believe I ran off of light so we could have a candlelight dinner” He chuckled.

“No way!” You burst out laughing “You’re unbelievable!”

“Well! I’m sorry I wanted to give my girlfriend a romantic date!” He mumbled “You’re always saying how you love those romantic movies! Your eyes always shine when you see those dates too! And you even said to me that you’d like to be a dog to get a free meal in the streets just like the lady and the tramp!” He whined again.

“No way!” You gasped, hands going to hide your mouth agape “You’re making us a dog date!” You accused excitedly “So that’s why you’re doing pasta and meatballs” You chirped, bouncing like a kid “Were you going to give me your meatballs?! What would you do to explain why we’re eating from the same plate?” You chuckled, and he rolled his eyes.

“Well… When you put it like a dog date, it doesn’t sound as romantic as it sounded in my head” He chortled “And I’d give you all the meatballs you wanted, of course! Who are you taking me for?!” He scolded you jokingly “And we don’t need to eat from the same plate because I don’t need an excuse to kiss you, silly girl!” He smiled smugly at you, hand going to your waist to pull you closer.

You stared at him intently, noticing how he seemed uneasy under your fierce gaze.

“I think that’s sauce on you” You joked, licking his cheek out of nowhere and making him howl in disgust, playfully pushing you away as he wiped his cheek vehemently “Was that how you were going to kiss me?” You mocked, and he whined like a baby, sticking his tongue out for you.

“And here I was being all romantic!” He complained, laughing along with you as you hugged him tightly, kissing him lovingly before locking your eyes once more, a fond look over both of your faces.

“I love you so much” You sighed, and he squeezed you, placing his chin on the top of your head.

“I love you more” He muttered, whimpering in embarrassment.

224 notes · View notes

foxyk7 · 3 years

Photo

Fnaf 9 will be coming soon and like me who accompanied the story of this game, wich is more complex than the storys i do to my undertale Au's (which i want to post here some day), my sister and I ended up doing this theory that we have been thinking for a while now, than can end up been a little strange, i guess...

This theory that we had is about Vanny and Vannesa being the same person, i know than may be someone have already think and talk about it, like Mairusu, in his theory his talk about Vanny and Vannesa being the same person, the only diference is that he say than Vanny is a animatronic than Vannessa have created, i didn't agreed with it since than in my theory Vannessa have a split personality, and than is activated by some type of "trigger" which she made, since in some emails than was supposed to be send to you in the game Fnaf AR and have been found in the games files, in some of this email's theres someone called "Luis" which keep send email's to someone called "Ness", which gives the impression that it would be the nickname he gave to Vannessa, in this email's he says about Ness not talking so much with him, not to mention that there were times when she looked for things that activated a "red flag" in the system, and that he found it strange than she search for thing with a torture theme, like "until when a human being can handle being cut in half without losing consciousness" and other things like this.

In others emails he talk about she ordered 3(three) realistic human male masks, what's make me think than she was trying to build a animatronic which would be a "human" copy of Glithtrap or even Willian Afton, since in others emails is quoted than someone was ordered some animatronic parts, maybe she was trying to collect all Willian pieces than still lost, like the same thing than you do on Fnaf Help Wanted with the tapes, that are Glitchtrap pieces than the tape girl want you to get all of them and destroy him, what actually makes you influenced by Glitchtrap. In the DLC (Fnaf help Wanted:Curse of dreadbear), in the mini-game "corn maze" of the jack-o-lantern foxy theres a place you can enter if you have the purple key (after get all the 5(five) keys), you enter a type of basement where have a bunny mask, when you get the mask it will be in the gift story (i hope this is the right name), when you use the mask and hold the Spring bonnie stuffed doll, you will hear a female voice than will start to say thing's like "they won't suspect anything", which gives the impression that the character we control have been influenced by Glitchtrap.

About how the personality "exchange" occurs to Vanny, like i said before it can happen with some type of "trigger" which one i will explained.

In this email than is send by someone with the name "_pizzaplex", which one is probably a birthday list of the employees, it have Vannesa name, her first name and the first the letter of her second name which one is "Vannessa A.", and then in parentheses it have her age than is 23(twenty three), the sector she works that would be the security sector, and probably her favorite thing that are things with a bunny shape.

When i saw it i thought it was a little strange, but i end up thinking than thing with a bunny shape could be the trigger for the exchange, it may be that I am right and it may also be that I am wrong. Well, anyway, for my theory to make a lot more sence, i will talk about something called fragmented personality, which is a type of mental disorder which make the causes a person to have several distinct personalities, the fragmented personality can be caused by a type of trauma, such as a type of "body defense" that creates a secondary personality, which one can have a completely different name and personality, with this when Vannesa was influenced by Glitchtrap she end up developing some type of trauma than made her create this secondary personality called Vanny, in Fnaf Help Wanted like i say before about the mask and the Spring bonnie stuffed doll that probably was the first trigger for the exchange.

A character from another game that can be used as a reference is Toko Fukawa from Danganronpa, which has a secondary personality called Genocider Jack/Syo which is completely different from Toko, i will talk a little about her past for a little more of context, in the hospital where Toko was born another child has died, and the mothers didn't want confirm who child has died, some time later after than they discovery that both child had the same father. When Toko was in the fundamental (i guess it was in this time), she end up fell in love with a boy of her school and she gave a love letter to him, him end up put this love letter on the school notice board and because of it developed a type of trauma, with this the Genocider Jack/Syo appear and she end up killing him, till what i saw about her is than seen blood or sneeze are the trigger for her exchange, something that can been noticed in this mental disorder is that they don't share memory, with that it can be concluded that Vanny and Vanessa do not share any memory, but somehow Vanny keeps Vanessa quiet about it, since till what i have see Vanessa is been threatened somehow, since in one of the emails that Luis had send to her, his say somthing about her search "help" and even if in the email he said than she could talk with him if anything was wrong but she didn't talk with him, she didn't even try to talk with him during work, what can be because of Vanny is always in control and is not leaving her control her on body, and Vanessa may have only a short time before the next "trigger" is activated, so she may not be able to ask anyone for help.

This is everything than i have did for this theory, anyways sorry if i wrote something wrong or forget to talk about something, but i hope you like this theory i had with my sister.

#fnaf theory #aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #i took one week and half to finish it #fnaf: securty breach theory

18 notes · View notes

1doll-4u · 4 years

Text

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐗: 𝐎𝐍𝐄 — 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: everyone x fem! reader (basically)

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1,581

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: angst, fluff

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you download an otome game called, ‘paradox’ and become addicted to the game. the longer you play, the more you realize that the game isn’t as normal as it seems.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: cussing, violence, gore, sexual situations/smut (not in this chapter), possible triggers, horrible writing, underage sex, rape/non-con, character deaths, sexual content, age differences, etc.

𝐀/𝐍: lowercase intended + this is short but the chapters will get longer as you continue to read, don’t worry ~

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: i’ll be making a tag list for anyone who wants to be updated/notified of when i post! please comment or send an ask if you would like to be tagged!

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐎𝐍𝐄 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈 | 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀 — 𝐌. 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐊𝐄𝐘:

[ ✉️ ] - in game (chat requests)

[ 💌 ] - in game (narration)

[ 📨 ] - status notification

[ 🕊 ] - in game texts

[ ⌛️ ] - hourglass (more) — [ ⏳ ] - hourglass (less)

[ 🔮 ] - magic (given)

[ 🥀 ] - curse (given)

[ 🌺 ] - gift (given)

[ 💕 ] - like — [ 💞 ] - love

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓

"you need to download the app, pleaseee, i need to talk about these hot boys with someone," your friend pleaded through the phone.

you sigh in defeat, finally giving in. she has been bugging you to download some otome game called, 'paradox' for the past few days.

"fine, but if it's horrible and the guys are ugly i'll delete it."

"it isn't horrible i promise, and the guys are realllyyy cute in the game."

"i'll text you after i play it, okay?"

"you better."

you end the call and open the app store, looking up the app. you find the app pretty quickly because of it's stark differences from the other otome games.

the icon is a plain white clock with a black background and the preview pictures didn't even show any of the love interests. the pictures are just screenshots of some chats and strange quotes with clocks on them.

no wonder only forty people have played it.

currently it's 3 AM for you but you don't care for sleep. besides, talking to (hopefully) hot fictional guys does sound appealing.

once the app finishes downloading you tap on the icon to open it. a notification pops up and tells you that you have to update the app first.

isn't the update supposed to go along with downloading it? stupid phone.

you go back to the app store and press update. within a few seconds the app is updated and you open it.

your screen turns black for a second before fading out to reveal a boy with green hair, eyes, and a pale complexion.

꒰ 💌 ꒱

"do you have any pictures of you as a baby?" the green haired boy asks while scanning your room again only to find no pictures of little you.

"i think they are in the attic, i'm not sure.." you answer, not paying much mind to him as you continue to play on your phone.

the boy lets out a huff and jumps on you, crushing you with his body weight. "i want to see them, let's go to the attic and find them," he insists.

"fine! just get off of me first," you exclaim, roughly pushing off the boy who is two times your size. the freckled boy gets off of you quickly, he was practically bouncing from excitement. you weren't sure what he was so excited about. both of you were just going to find your baby pictures.

once you stood up your friend was pulling you out of the door and urging you to lead you both to the attic. you never understood how he could be so energetic all the time.

"izuku, can you pull the string? i can't reach it."

the boy does so without objection. a short staircase appears before the two of you when pulling the string. you enter first with izuku following after.

"you can check those boxes on the right while i check the boxes on the left," you suggest. he nods and begins searching.

"i really hope we find them, i want to see some cute baby pictures of you," izuku admits, feverishly looking through each box.

you ignore him and the warmth spreading across your cheeks. izuku has always said sweet things to you but you still haven't gotten use to it.

you push the box you looked through away to get to another box when something catches your eye. the wall in front of you has a faint outline of a..door? it was quite small.

you touch the outline of it with the tip of your fingers, rubbing off the dust that was hiding it. your parents never told you that there was a secret room in the house. did they even know that there was one?

"izuku, i found something." you couldn't look away from the door for some reason. it had this sort of pull to it. your hands were itching to open it.

"did you find the pictures?" izuku walks toward your sitting figure, hope brightening his eyes.

"no..but i found this secret door. let's try to open it," you look for any sort of knob or handle only to find none. there is a faint outline of a keyhole though, it was covered with wallpaper.

"i really wanted to see those pictures but they can wait..how should we open it?" izuku takes a seat next to you and scoots closer to the door to examine it. "ow!"

"what's wrong?"

"this loose nail just snipped me," izuku points at the loose nail and board in front of him. there was a small glint of something underneath the loose board.

you pull the old board off to find a aged key underneath it. "wow- you unintentionally found it without even trying."

you turned your attention back on the small outline of the door and scratch away at the wallpaper with the key until it fully went in. it was difficult turning the key but with some help from izuku you both managed to do it. an audible click sounds and the small door opens outward.

inside is complete darkness. you are hesitant to peak your head in because you are afraid of some sort of insect jumping on you.

"can you find us a flashlight? i don't think it's a good idea for us to go in without one.." you explain. one part of you didn't want to go in and the other did.

you felt both excited and scared of what could possibly be discovered. izuku hands you a flashlight after a few short minutes of searching and you click it on, slowly entering the little room first on all fours. izuku follows you without hesitation.

"i'm surprised it isn't dusty in here and infested with insects by now," you said, continuing onward with a little more energy than before now that you don't have to worry about possibly getting attacked by spiders.

it felt like the room or more like tunnel was never ending. the walls being a pitch black didn't help that thought. after what felt like twenty minutes of endless crawling, you notice light peeking out from another door a few meters from you.

you quickly crawl to it and push as hard as you could. the door finally caving in when the both of you pushed your weight on it.

izuku falls out of the door and tumbled onto the ground ungracefully with you. the both of you stood up, stretching your limbs and dusting off your clothes.

"how did we get here?" taking in your surroundings you knew immediately that you both aren't at your house. the room the two of you are in is lavished in decorative furniture. the walls are a creamy white and the furniture has a complimenting black and white color scheme. it looks like something out of a fairy tail.

"this is weird," izuku looks around, equally confused. how did you get here? how could that small door connect to this room?

you noticed the room had another door. the room didn't look like it was just one room. you open the door a few inches wide and take a peek outside. you couldn't believe it.

outside of the door, was a wide hallway with many other doors aligning the walls. everything just as decorative as the room.

"this can't be real!" you open the door wide and leave the room, izuku following. "this doesn't make sense.."

the two of you marvel at your new surroundings, it was like you both got sucked into a fantasy book.

you were so immersed in your surroundings that you didn't even hear a pair of foot steps approaching.

a body crashes into yours causing you to fall harshly on your back.

"i-i'm so sorry! please forgive me..(l/n)? oh this is bad- i'm truly sorry!" a blue haired boy with long droopy bunny ears apologizes profusely. he extends a hand out for you and you take it hesitantly.

his whole appearance is quite unique. rich dark blue hair, pale skin (though it's crimson now, most likely from embarrassment), long bunny ears that are a shade darker than his hair, and troubled indigo eyes. wait, how did he know my name?

wait, how did he know your name? you never entered your name in the game..unless it synced with your Apple ID..

꒰ 💌 ꒱

"it's okay, really.." you didn't really know what else to say. the poor bunny boy looks like he's going to break down and cry any moment. it oddly makes you feel sympathetic for him.

the strange boy's eyes look you up and down, seemingly checking if you are injured in anyway. it is pretty endearing.

"i'm sorry again i, uh i..." bunny boy averts his eyes to his watch and jolts up, tapping his foot nervously, "oh no, i'm late! the prince is going to be really mad..we should go now, please follow me."

without looking back, bunny boy starts to walk away. prince? could they just be some weird cosplayers? sense bunny boy could give you more answers you follow him with izuku.

"i don't know if we should trust him.." izuku whispers to you before giving bunny boy a quick glance.

what will you say?

‣ "he doesn't seem harmful.."

‣ "yeah, you're right..but he seems to know what's going on."

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: n/a

67 notes · View notes

madzilla84 · 4 years

Text

update

Did anyone ask for one? No. Does anyone want it? Probably not … I guess there’s still some small part of me that misses having a Livejournal.

In general, things have been - better. I started going outside a bit more from late-ish July, but honestly I don’t know if I started feeling better because I started going out, or if I started going out because I was feeling better…? A mystery. But mood tracking app - surely a reliable source of mental health info lmao - seems to agree:

(woohoo, only ‘significant burden’! i think that’s about the best you could hope for in 2020. and this was a few weeks ago, and I feel better now than I did then, so.)

I’ve been off work for the last 3 weeks - nothing wrong, just 2 weeks of scheduled annual leave, which I needed very much (I think part of why I was feeling bad was because I hadn’t had a break since February), and last week I had a week of jury duty. The break was much needed and I can feel the difference.

I started exercising again in July, and ugggggggh ok fine I admit I do feel better because of it. I’m never gonna be a gym bunny, I’ll probably never *love* it but I can’t deny the benefits. I go 3 times a week which is enough for me. (Though I only went twice last week and this week - last week I was pretty wrecked after court each day and this week I am focussing on being lazy.) Going outside again was strange at first, like the previous 4 months hadn’t happened, but it didn’t take long to feel (mostly) normal again.

I’ve also had a couple of social things, which has been nice - one lunch out at an outdoor restaurant, and one bbq at a friend’s house. (She moved in recently at the end of my street; while I was sitting in her living room I could look out of the window at my own flat. Weird!) I’ve been thinking a lot about Dan’s tweet about who he realised he wants in his life after lockdown, and it’s just. Interesting.

I’m DELIGHTED it’s September and the start of the best months, the -embers and -obers; it’s still pretty warm and mostly sunny here but it’s really nice, the bite’s gone out of the warmth. Not long now until it Gs the FO entirely. \o/ I’m still playing Animal Crossing every day, (unlike some people, smh poor abandoned Pickle).

Jury duty last week was fascinating. I didn’t even know if I’d get picked - they call more than twice as many people as they need in case anyone can’t do it for whatever reason (if one of the lawyers is a family friend or something), but I did end up being chosen. (No. 12!!) We were the first post-covid jury, and the first socially distanced one.

I *can* talk about the case now it’s over, but I don’t think I will, because the subject matter could be pretty triggering, but it was often a tough week given the nature of it. Having said that, something about it was very satisfying. It was fascinating to see how the courts and lawyers worked, and the whole process, and it was good to work with the other jurors. (Days on end of talking to actual humans was actually pretty good, for the most part.) We were all just thrown together, and we had differences of opinion of course, but it was still a good experience to work with them. It felt good to be part of something like that, something that mattered, and to feel like a part of the community in such a real way. I can be quite good at putting aside emotion to look at the letter of the law, which in a case like this can be very challenging; some of the other jurors struggled with it a great deal. (This isn’t to blow my own trumpet or anything; many would argue it was *me* who had the problem, in much the same way they often say lawyers are heartless, which isn’t true most of the time)

The case ended up being dismissed as the jury couldn’t reach a consensus - we got slated on social media (which of course I didn’t look at during the case, I caught up after), but we all stuck to our convictions and I know it was right; there’s a lot the public didn’t know or understand. As tough a case as it was, I’m glad I got to do it, it was a privilege in many ways. (But, I wouldn’t mind if it was a long time until I had to do it again, you know? lol.)

We had our phones taken from 9-5 while we were working - it’s the law - and I thought it was gonna be the worst after being glued to it constantly, but it was actually quite nice lmao. Not that I didn’t end up glued to it again once the case was over.

Fandom-wise, I have - finally - ended up taking a step back from the phandom a little bit in the last month or two. I want to talk about that a bit because it’s a complicated topic, and I see a lot of concerning posts - mainly on Twitter - that if you don’t maintain a certain level of dedication, if you join another fandom or get into something else or aren’t sufficiently devoted and supportive you - aren’t a true fan? Or something? Lots of posts along the lines of, ‘all these people getting into kpop/tv show/whatever, smh, don’t think we won’t remember when dan’s project drops and you all come running back’. It’s just a bit - weird? Like, it’s *perfectly normal* if people get into other stuff while dnp are cooking whatever they’re cooking (or not cooking, or whatever)? Or just move on, but still enjoy D&P?

I’m not, like, dramatically leaving the fandom or anything. Hell, I haven’t *left* the fandom at all, I’m still here every day, it’s - more of a mental shift. Because prior to July/August-ish this year I really wasn’t in a good place with it. I wrote a thing earlier this year about struggling with writing, and belonging while not being a content creator, and other things … the issue is that, as I tend to do with my fandoms, I get too overinvested. And sometimes, that’s okay - whatever gets you through the night and all that - but in this case, I wasn’t enjoying it any more. Some parts I was - I’ve made the best friends I’ve ever had in a fandom here, and I really like seeing everyone on here - but in general, I was spending a lot of my time feeling anxious, resentful, worried, angry and frustrated. I spent a lot of last year and almost all of this one waiting for Godot; hating the “new normal” and desperately waiting for - something that’s never going to come. I just couldn’t deal with it; probably for reasons bigger than just D&P but that’s how it manifested. I got more and more frustrated by the content we were getting because it wasn’t what I’d hoped, and I hated feeling like that. It took up way too much of my thoughts and every day was just waiting, and wondering, and worrying. And I got so, so sick of it.

So, where am I now? Well, it was inevitable really, but I just started to - let go, a bit. I didn’t throw my hands up and go, ’bah, screw these guys!’, my mental focus just shifted (for my own good), and I started focussing on other things. Other fandoms. Games and hobbies I can distract myself with. I’ll admit it wouldn’t necessarily have been my *choice*, you know? But reality is what it is and I’m - relieved, really, that I’m not unnecessarily tormenting myself about it any more. It took me a long time to reach this place - too long, really - and, for now at least, it’s kind of nice. I can just enjoy things if/when they pop up without the accompanying sadness and anger about how everything is changed, about what has ended and what I’ve “lost”. (And it’s not 100%, by the way; it’s still there, just - quiet, now.) I can look at, I dunno, someone’s gifs of Dan or whatever, and just smile about it rather than feeling that grief. (Or, feel it, but not to the exclusion of everything else.) It’s - nicer.

And it isn’t at *all* that I don’t care any more, I still love them, of course I do, and will continue to follow them and watch everything they do. I’m not going anywhere. I still have notifs on, though they don’t quite send my heart into my throat like they did. ;) In a way it’s helping me love them more, because now when I watch them I enjoy it more, appreciating the fun and the bants without laser-focussing on my own anger and sadness. I’m still attending our little daily phannie watch-alongs, where we watch a couple of eps of DAPG and an anime. I’m still on phandom tumblr/twitter on the daily. It just - has a slightly smaller portion of my brain and mental energy now.

It was a step I needed to take, but also one I’m not sure I could have *chosen* to take, not without deliberately leaving and cutting it all off completely? And I didn’t want to do that. I’d hoped I’d get to this place earlier than this - some 20 months after the fact - but better late than never, I suppose.

(Also, disclaimer - fandom and the human heart are funny things, and I fully accept I can and probably will be sucked completely back in at any time.)

Anyway! SEE YOU AT THE QUIZ :D

#mad.txt #tw covid #personal

5 notes · View notes