#apart from venting like this

[galaxywhump]

.

#it kind of hurts that for years my two moods have been feeling like shit and feeling like shit lite #i'm really trying to work on it #but it feels like there's nothing that can be done #so i'm just doing my best to be in a state of feeling like shit lite #and not let it show that much #apart from venting like this #using whump as an outlet for negative emotions really helps but it sucks when i have no energy to write #or read #or think about my ocs #so i'm just kind of. here. #kind of lost #venting on discord or tumblr when things become overwhelming #like today #i don't know #delete later #marti vents #venting #venting cw

[a-loose-collection-of-ants]

I love your amrev art sm it'd my favorite I think you're my favorite artist on here, please make more art

Hey anon I'm crying a little bit, here are some sketches just for you

#yes yes yes I'm still alive #my adult person needs and responsibilities have gone ahead and sniped me out of the air #Im in school and working and logging my work hours so I can get licensed and apartment hunting and paying rent and I turn 21 in like 5 days #“oh well at least the school year's almost over and you can take a break” wrong. I take summer classes too #anyway not to vent but the idea of being anyone's favorite artist is WILD to me #I might be a bit until I start posting regularly but I'm around and I'll do my best to answer any asks or requests if I get any #anyway anyway #amrev #asks #from the sketchbook #I say this only half-jokingly if any of you are in Philly and need a roommate hmu #rent be wild

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means. #when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial. #the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times. #often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost. #22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes. #he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home. #can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long. #Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place. #clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves. #he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

[moe-broey]

Textpost redraw that only works in a modern setting, so. I gave them silly outfits (and a little bit of lore!)

Some zoom ins on the illusts!

And Lore

Moe is like. A SHUT-IN shut-in. So in any modern setting that isn't "Hey wanna visit my hometown for a sec (events so far have followed canon at least loosely)", it would have to meet Alfonse under Extremely Specific Circumstances.

And finally! Textpost under cut!

#fire emblem #feh #I PUT. SO MUCH LOVE INTO THIS ACTUALLY IT'S INSANE. ESP FOR A TEXTPOST REDRAW LMFAOOO #the vision was so clear to me though. the vibe of the post (struggling). a catastrophic fall from grace. #the idea of alfonse venting about almost losing a social interaction. a performance slipping. #a setting where he isn't performing at all now. there is nothing to perform here bc moe. well. #also the visual. i am imagining a very specific nostalgic shitass swingset in my mind. #one that doesn't exist anymore actually bc they rebuilt it (probably for the best.) but that thing #would leave rust on your hands and arms and leave your ass blue. it sucked but it was awesome #the rust marks don't show up as clearly here unfortunately LMFAO so i had to point em out. #ALSO. I AM ACTUALLY SO INSANE ABOUT THEIR OUTFITS ACTUALLY. bc BOTH of them are hiding #alfonse is trying to blend in. pass as normal. moe is trying to distract you. but also desperately trying to communicate Something. #like do you wanna be seen or not little buddy (the answer is Yes.) #back to alfonse like if not 'normal' then at least 'put together'. will suffice. i think he's also beginning to loosen up here too tho #like. so at the beginning of it that he isn't Really LMFAOO but. he painted his nails black. just to try it. #it was also so fun to freehand the patterns... camo and argyle (the socks) (hardly noticeable but that's the intent!) #'beginning to loosen up' actually i think he's just starting to fall apart. #fe alfonse #moe tag #summoner oc #my art #my comics

[cronagorgonzola]

If we wanna talk about "unskilled labor" let's talk about landlords who rake in thousands of dollars a month and will refuse routine repairs and maintenance because they don't know how a fucking house works

#.txt #im subletting my current apartment from someone who's been living here for years #and he basically has to be the landlady's manager because she only wants to talk to him #and she wanted him to tell me to *open the kitchen door* for ventilation when i complained that the oven has a strong gas smell #after she bolted the windows and had them painted shut and hooked the hood vent up to a *dimmer switch* #and then she threatened to take the oven out entirely because its 'not supposed to be used full-time' #if cooking pizza rolls makes my whole apartment smell like gas the building has a problem

[komaneko-kun]

i don't know if anyone feels the same or maybe i'm crazy but like...is everyone supposed to accept that when you reach your 20s your friendships turn into this "never make an attempt to meet up but from time to time contact you to 'check up on you' (aka only ask surface level stuff about work etc)"?

sometimes I'll have irl friends from the past say stuff like "i miss you" and at first you're happy bc of the possibility of reconnecting but then slowly as they talk you realize "ooohh...they don't miss me, they're nostalgic about the past and the place they were in when we were closer"

and like i understand that as you get older it becomes more difficult to fit friendships in your schedule and that everyone is busy but...it feels so extremely lonely. i wish people did more than just check up on you, i wish when they asked "how are you?" it wasn't just out of courtesy

#it's like only work and a romantic partner have to matter from now on #and friendships are expected to drift apart? or become second if not last thought #this doesn't rly happen to me much with internet friendships #vent post #i think what i want is #for a friend to talk to me like i'm a real person and not an accessory in their life or part of their past

[itspileofgoodthings]

.

#struggling big time with questions of likability and popularity and school environments and social environments in general #and what it means and just feeling faint and sick at heart about it all right now #in many ways this 5th year has kind of …. idk solidified things at school for me? and also solidified my reputation #but with not flying under the radar anymore and not being someone that people can write off anymore #comes a whole host of new problems #and weights and difficulties #and I don’t know. there’s a wrestling I always feel internally between my (very great) desire to be liked #and my desire to be a good and fair teacher apart from that #and the ways that I fail #and then there’s other people’s insecurities opinions and jealousies #to contend with. such as they are. and then there’s just the way that I feel on the inside most of the time #which is actually not loved or liked at all! there is a deep loneliness in my soul #kind of always. but especially lately #but it’s contradictory to what it seems #I also just LIKE flying under the radar while also being someone who is drawn to occupying a space to speak #and be heard from #and it’s just all a lot and I am so very tired #idk just having some Friday night venting. it was a very tough week. I am tired and I am sad #I also for real just need to cry

[katya-goncharov]

there are these two girls on my uni course who i want to make friends with SO much but i'm so bad at making friends generally. i guess i'll just have to try to actually, like, talk to them

#they're the only ones on my course who are around my age bc it's a postgrad course and they seemed nice last time i had class with them #but they kept being like oh i like your outfit etc and i never know what to say to that apart from like. thanks #like i don't know how to turn that kind of thing into a conversation and they'll have probably given up on me by the time i next have class #with them so i guess I'LL have to be the one to make the first move next time and try to start a conversation. but i'm so bad at it!!!! #emma vents #i wish How To Make Friends was something you could just google and not something super basic that everyone else in the world just #automatically can do just fine except for me

[suddencolds]

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#not snz and not a vent... just passive musing #had a dream two nights ago where someone who i used to know (and love a little) wished me goodbye with a #kiss to the hand before i flew away from them forever on a magic chair #which is very stud//io g//hi//bli-esque and frankly very unserious but #the feeling of grief i felt saying goodbye to a friendship which i had once held so close to me - and which i know can probably never #be as close as it was at that point in my life - stuck with me for a long time even after i woke up #it's been something i've been thinking about for awhile... but the dream felt like such a concrete and painful severance #i think that like a childish part of me wants to hold the people i'm close to at #the same distance and trust that they will stay there forever #but logically i know it's natural that the people i met under certain circumstances might drift apart once those circumstances change #for one or both of us... i guess friendship really is just a lucky convergence at one point in time where everything aligns #like i know this and i have known this for awhile but god does it hurt #especially those kinds of goodbyes that feel so gradual... not like a clear severing of ties but just a gradual disappearance #i think i probably have to not feel so hung up over what i used to have. and for the most part i am not; life goes on #but for those people? #i sometimes just miss them #there's a special kind of hurt knowing that i could reach out to them and say hello and that they would probably respond but that it might #never be quite the same again

[wakanai]

.

#i feel so isolated #i can talk to people #but it's hard for me to find someone i can genuinely connect with #hard for me to converse in interesting conversation with people i find interesting #i was in a group setting a while ago #talking w “friends” (not close friends; but still 'friends') #it was ok #the thing is #i don't particularly like my friends #like im not that invested. it's hard for me to find people i connect with enough to be invested in and vice versa #it's most likely a 'me' thing #i think its because of a lack of communication skills that its hard for me to find connection/make friends that i rlly like and etc #ironically the friends i do like are always extroverts and i always feel like i care more about them than they do #because they have sm friends whom they're close to and genuinely connected with meanwhile i struggle with even making 1 connection that #doesn't drain me/makes me happy/keeps me stimulated #so when i do find that 1 person i become attached and want to be closer to them #and when that happens idk i remind myself that they dont care for me as much #and i try not to be too clingy so as not to annoy them #i want to be closer to them though. we have our own friend groups but still #school for me is overall quite lonely. my 2 close friends are in another school #there's only a few people in class that i enjoy talking to #the only one (the 'main' one) that's my friend is the extrovert i mentioned a while ago #and for some reason im getting flashbacks or trauma from my past friendship #because as of now we're just classroom friends #and in my past friendship. i was also invested in that homegirl. but..we drifted apart T-T #its quite sad #i feel lonely #i want to be better at bond making and connections because #its miserable #vent

[lionydoorin]

i cannot tell you guys enough how i HATE movie blockbuster culture.

not gonna lie i used to LOVE superhero movies, had a huge marvel and dc phase and hold my favourite characters and films so dearly in my heart.

but when you want to go to the movie theatre to watch something and you CAN'T watch it because literally ALL of the screenings are for superhero films and they literally only have one or two spaces for other movies, it really disencourages you from going to the movies at all.

like it isn't hard bro ik it's on demand but when you have 6 rooms for the same movie that have similar screening hours, of which most aren't even CLOSE to being sold out or are almost empty, maybe you should, you know, try to give the space for other films????? in reasonable hours so people can have more options???? it ISN'T HARD?????

how are we gonna encourage people to watch movies in theatres and not on streaming if we don't give them the opportunity to. yk. WATCH MOVIES

#this is just a vent btw #i just wanted to watch mean girls with my gf and we had to reschedule because the ONE mean girls screening sold out #and the next one was 8pm but im not sleeping in my city so i had to drive to a whole diff town #and ALL of the other screenings were for aquaman. literally ONE (1) room for mean girls with TWO screenings 6 hours apart from each other #while aquaman occupied 6 rooms. and most of them were empty #and mean girls isnt even a small indie film . like. #WHYYYYY #ma ur rambling

[magicstormfrostfire]

#girl help #my interests are slipping through my fingers so rapidly its horrible #i need a distraction to keep me from thinking too hard about my mental state dropping all the time #but its not working #even Sonic isnt working and thats usually what i use to distract myself from everything #so i dont think #nothing is working #i wish i had motivation to create it makes me feel better #but the only thing ive been able to do is watch markiplier videos because that requires no thinking #i keep having nightmares about the past #and yet #i wish i didnt have to wake up #because sometimes its not nightmares #sometimes its good #i dont feel like im falling apart in my dreams #but when i wake up i feel like my meds are keeping me from falling apart with cheap glue and office tape #i dont know #vent #might delete later #or not. its my blog

[slutcore-starships]

evening cancelled i just stumbled across one of the songs i associated with my codependent t4t situationship from a couple years ago

#vent but im adding random shit to keep it out of the tag #like i know theres the big joke about everyones first sapphic situationship #but sometimes you literally planned a lil life together and then fell apart #and sometimes you cry thinking about it two years later #anyways knowing someone and being known is so important #but it also strips the flesh from your bones sometimes

[deicide-doll]

#i found these costume shoes when looking for duct tape and they made me feel things #since i associate them with a specific incidence of being isolated from a good friend #i could never have any fucking friends not like i couldnt make them my parents just found any reason to hate them and split us apart #traumacore #ventcore #vent art #closed eyes #queue

[ink-asunder]

Progressives from big cities talk big shit about how accepting they are, but I feel like if you come to them with any identifier that isn't covered in corporate sensitivity training, they have no idea what to fucking do.

Like. I experience psychosis. I tried being OPEN with my friend about it and giving them resources (articles and screenshots of tumblr posts that i felt summed up my experience) for when I had episodes. But they act like they're on fucking eggshells around me. They sidestep and look PETRIFIED when they accidentally say the word "crazy" (when I personally could not give less of a shit. As long as you're not CALLING someone crazy, then it won't warp your perception of what clinical insanity even is, so I probably won't even notice you saying it). But then they freak out and go "okay we're leaving!" when a VISIBLY mentally ill man starts screaming at a trashcan in the parking lot.

Less important, but still an example of the same thing: I'm a horse alterhuman. I identify as a horse on some level (and that level varies based on my mental state, tbh). I tried coming to this friend with THAT and the best they could do was blink and go "oh. Okay." And then they never talked about it since. Even when I bring it up or try making jokes about it, they just COMPLETELY don't react or look uncomfortable.

If I came out as a lesbian, they'd be all "oh I love and support you and accept you, and whatever you identify as is valid," but the second I say "Hey, I have this condition that makes me sometimes think that people are trying to kill me, so if I act anxious or something, you know what's up," it's all "oh. Okay. I mean, you know what's best for you. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself."

Like bitch!! My mental illness is not gonna bite you!! You're perfectly sensitive and normal about queer people, about people of color, about people with palatable mainstream mental health issues. But the second I bring something to the table that hasn't already been dropped in their lap in a perfect-PC-package, they balk like a deer in the headlights.

#notable exclusions from this post: the phrase 'balks like a bunny in a cage match' and several schizospec slurs #keeping it professional for the main blog #🐗 #i found out that friend didnt even READ the psychosis related articles i sent them. after i had a psychotic meltdown at their house. #apart of me FEELS unfair writing about this because this same friend has actually been unquestioningly accommodating. #they not only remember all my dietary restrictions but they remember WHY the foods i cant have are bad for me. #when i had an episode and thought they hated me they agreed to videocall me with only them on video. #idk i just. i feel like this person could be so much better if they TRIED to approach my psychosis as well as they approch everything else #i KNOW this person could be great. but rn im too crazy to know if it's them or the socialization or cancel culture or what. im just tired #psychosis #chronic illness #chronic pain #disability #disabled #vent #long post #sry

[calicostorms]

AAAA LIFE IS GOING SO FAST

#calico speaks #cw vent #< just in case #HHHH I keep feeling like im behind my peers bc im not graduating with a bachelors within the next yr or so bc my health was so bad for a #solid while amd i have 2 take schooling kinda slow so i can live apart from my mom #just. wish i could Do More be faster get my degree done quicker etc etc but #sigh. its ok. i know im doing the right thing for me