#aro experience discussions

[thereallyreallylatebird]

Psst...aroaces

You're amazing and a vital part of the aro community

Also your flag is really pretty

-Your friendly neighborhood aroallo

#realized I almost exclusively talk about aromanticism in the context of aroallo people #which makes sense since i'm aroallo #but I also want to show some appreciation for my aroace peers! #a large chunk of the reason I figured out i was aromantic was by listening to aroace people talk about their experiences #it did take me a while bc i didn't fully internalize i could be aro without being ace #but i got there in the end! #and aroaces like Jaiden animations and randoms on tumblr discussing aromanticisim helped so much #so thank you! #aroace #aroallo #aromantic #thereallyreallylatebird #aro positivity #positivity

[knifearo]

reminder to everyone that trauma IS a valid reason to use aspec labels. "i don't know if i'm aspec or just traumatized—" protip!!! you can be both!!!! the thing about labels is that they're not immutable states of being that you're born as. they're literally just words that we use to describe our lived experiences, and if asexual or aromantic or any related label feel relevant to the way that you experience attraction, whether it's a result of trauma or not, they're there for you to use. having trauma as a cause does not invalidate the fact that someone is experiencing lesser or no attraction. that's still the aspec experience babey. use the label if you want it's there for you <3

#kissing every traumatized aspec person on the forehead. with permission of course #obviously the labels aren't gonna be right for everyone but like... #i see a lot of discussion around this topic and it's actually SO important to me to bring up every time #that labels are just little signs you put up to tell people something about yourself. #it's not an immutable unchangeable fact. it's a little sign. it's a label just like you make with a label maker. #its purpose is to be there and communicate something about your experience to the people around you. #so if you want to communicate that you don't experience attraction in an allo way! that's literally what it's there for! #really i feel like denying people access to those labels cause they weren't born that way is like. #first. an asshole move. why don't you shut the fuck up and let other people decide what they experience #second. perpetuating the idea that if you don't experience attraction you're broken? but just in a different way? #'you can experience limited/no attraction IF you're ace and born that way. otherwise you're ACTUALLY fucked up.' #'you're straight/gay/bi you're just broken right now.' actually maybe they're experiencing something that aligns with asexuality. #ever thought about that... #intent here is NOT to speak for anyone with that experience. however i meet like seven people a year who say that they're unsure #if they're aspec or just traumatized #and it's SO important to me to say that you can be both. you can use the label. your experiences are valid #whether they're internally or environmentally caused. #kiss kiss ily everybody (/aro) #<— tone indicator that indicates that i meant it aromantically #aspec #aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #arospec #aro positivity #asexual #ace pride #acespec #ace positivity #ace inclusion. turn the tables

[moreroads]

-taps the microphone-

Just because I'm ace, doesnt mean I'm off the menu.

Just because I'm aro, doesn't mean I'm off the menu.

PLEASE!!!! please, don't automatically write me off as "not wanting a relationship" or "not wanting sex" because you have found out that I am ace and aro.

ESPECIALLY, if you did not find out from me.

#ace week #asexual #demisexual #polyamory #aromantic #demiromantic #this is in the demi tags because it is my personal identities #I know that this isn't everyone's opinion or experience #but i am SPECIFICALLY vagueing some discussions I saw in discord servers where some allo people were lamenting about having a crush #on someone they LEARNED was ace or aro (not from the crush). WITHOUT ever talking to the crush. WITHOUT shooting their shot. #and I wonder regularly how many people have done that about me

[widowshill]

happy aro week to everyone who celebrates. give your local aro a hundred dollars to compensate for their suffering (me).

#i've been thinking a lot about aromaticism lately ... ! perfect time for it to coincide with aro week. #➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and she’s exhausted. #i've been seeing quite a lot of posts lately that .. hm. speak on romance in fiction / the habit of shipping / writing romance and sex #from a perspective of 'oh; think of the aros!' 'we hate shipping-focused fandom!' #well one thing about me love to make characters have insane sex. i do not follow these practices in my own life. #i tend to find real-life discussions of sex and romance generally unpleasant; but this is something you sort of just have to deal with. #but i love shipping. air that i breathe. i love to read romance. and full-m smut. love to write or draw them kissing. #i also like when characters murder each other ; or talk to ghosts ; or drive without seatbelts ; i should note i also #don't practice these things or in most cases condone them! #to me – this is just another aspect of fiction that is separate to my real-life experience. it's no more inherently #positive or negative than anything else characters do. #i don't find love to be something that is fundamental to the human condition but it is a big; broad human story. and a compelling one! #anyways. that's my speech. thanks for the on-sale chocolate allos.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

The struggle between being happy that all kinds of aspecs are talking about aspec experiences more and barely being able to stand the way people talk about aspec experiences

#i don't know how to say it but like. i'm aro and i hate how nobody ever. talks about us except us #if i was the type of person who comes out and if i didn't already need a powerpoint to explain asexuality #i'd start telling people i'm aro and not aroace #like just. the way i feel towards both alloallos & alloaces who try but fail at being inclusive.... #towards alloace and sometimes aroace communities & the way they are & act.... #legit making me think about identifying as like. non sam aro or something #yeah technically i'm asexual but i'm going to take that word away from everyone #my allo friends are trying bless their heart but they DO NOT GET IT!!!! #they're trying and they're FAILING!!! BADLY!!!! #i understand people who use certain sets of pronouns but only with specific people. holy shit #like if i see one more time that asexuality means not being interested in relationships. #if my friends ask me and only me if i'm comfortable with a sex discussion when i am participating in it #if i get told 'no bitches!! :D' as a pride thing ONE MORE TIME #i'm sorry if you're seeing that m btw. on the infinitesimal chance you do see it. it's not against you it's my aro rage #i just. i'm not ace and then aro as an afterthought. #i'm ARO and eventually if it comes up i'm ace #'oh but no bitches isn't necessarily about sex it can also be about relationships' #yeah okay. well. i'm interested in both of those. i do want bitches. not like allos but i'm not signing up to be a nun here. #the flattening of the aspec experience to 'asexual and possibly aromantic' is making me want to tear things apart with my teeth #hate hate hate hate #and let's not forget adolescent romances. listen. i'm a teenager and i love romance #but all the stuff where the 17yo alloace teen feels broken and ends up dating a comprehensive partner...... #i keep seeing it like you see the fin of a shark. and that's already more than i can stand #i'm happy it's resonating with people but it's exactly as insipid as bland straight love songs to me #anyway. i didn't get everything i wanted out but i chipped away at it. #wow i have a ramble tag now

[aroallo-culture-is]

Aroallo culture is thinking you were ace for the longest time because you were taught sex was (strictly) a man and a woman who've fallen deeply in love sharing ~intimacy™️ and the thought of that makes you absolutely Nauseous. And then finding out you are actually romance repulsed instead of sex repulsed and that sex is uh. Not nearly (just) that.

.

#aroallo culture is #lgbtq #lgbtqia #aro #aromantic #alloaro #aroallo #anonymous #aromantic allosexual #a headmate of mine had a similar experience due to being trans. not really a lot of trans inclusion in sex education or even sex discussion

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

It's insane how full of microlabels the aro and ace communities are. Instead of normalising the fact that some aroaces can still enjoy porn and have sex dreams, each and every variation in preference has to have a different label attached to it. It's wild. Isn't it causing more division in the community spaces? Like, I don't know much about the history of the bisexual community, so idk if this something that happened before or not, but it's like giving different labels to bis who prefer men and a different one to bis who prefer women. It makes no sense. Let's just agree that even people with the same sexuality can have variations in how that sexuality manifests itself and be done with it?

#idk i'm up for having a discussion about this if I'm wrong I'm just venting rn #it just feels overwhelmingly like everyone wants to have their specific label that defines their exact experience #isn't it so much better to say 'there's no one way to be aroace' instead of being like #'maybe you are aego or cupio or whatever; #but yeah call me out if you disagree i'm happy to discuss #I'd just rather do it here than on reddit ya know #aro stuff #ace stuff #aroace tag

[altschmerzes]

im too tired to word this well and thoroughly but lately spending time in the aro community is just increasing and strengthening my belief that the framework of attraction/orientation is just not the appropriate framework for thinking about and discussing every type of human interaction and experience and feeling. that’s a specific concept to capture a specific experience and making everything an axis of attraction/orientation is…… it really doesn’t work.

#attraction and orientation are very specific concepts that mean a specific thing #it’s not going to fit every single variance in human experience and relation #and it’s not supposed to! #and i get why this happens to some extent but oy #words mean things. sometimes people are just different in the way they experience the world #and the way they feel and behave #and there is a utility in the framework of attraction and orientation #that does not fit A LOT OF THINGS #and trying to make it fit that way is. confusing at best. and deeply troublesome in a lot of ways #anyways if anyone feels like having some kind of a respectful discussion about this feel free to ask clarifying questions #but otherwise. do not yell at me. the block button is free and i use it liberally. #aro blogging

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

tbh its really annoying how the split attraction model grew and proliferated and became like, the default understand of the words aromantic and asexual but nothing came to replace what we USED to use asexual for. i think that really muddies a lot of discussions when some people are coming at it understanding asexual to mean "doesn't want sex" and others "not wanting any intimate relationships in any form"

#bc like...... to me if i may commit the sin of being a little reductive & calling myself aromantic #between that personal experience and just like my deduction of the arguments and shit i never felt like there was any use in ace/aro like #needing to become Part of the Lgbt Community. which like i think is a silly & reductive discussion anyway which i think for the most part #like. has become the consensus. it was just a silly thing because the reality is more complicated than like there being One kind of asexual #person and One kind of lgbt space #but i dont think its the same situation with asexual as in like the older definition as having no orientation ykwim #ok ive officially written too many words abt ace discourse in one sitting. good night

[startingfires]

hello people on the internet, what is the difference between romantic and platonic attraction?

#me and my friend have this discussion once a month but they're ace aro and i have no romantic experience and suppressed my feelings a lot #so we never come to a conclusion lol #but pls share your wisdom if you feel so inclined :) #does it all come down to what you define it as or is there some universal definition?

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

#aromantic #aro #aro positivity #reference to aphobia

[paintingpuff]

I'm late to the aro positivity party but thought I could shout out a manga I read this year, I Want to be a Wall!

It's about an aroace woman (who is really into BL) and a gay man being arranged into a marriage and how they navigate that, growing closer and kind of becoming a QPR.

The stuff that really got to me was the discussion of the woman's experience with her asexuality (and aromanticism though that isn't explicitly labeled), how it connects to her media tastes and the way people have hurt her in the past. It was all absolutely heartbreaking.

A fun detail I also like is how the pair act out romantic tropes (Gift of Magi style misunderstanding, paranoia about "cheating,"), but they are all done through a platonic context.

(Ex. Even though they're not in romantic love, he still feels upset at the idea of losing their bond, or her getting hurt by someone he doesn't know.)

There's not too many chapters of it out, unfortunately (only like two volumes), but the ones I read are very enjoyable and I'd love to put this on other people's radar!

(btw, I got this manga rec from this video, and there's more in it!)

Asexual Manga and their Powerful Visibility

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=urXrwYmMdgA

#aromantic #asexual #queer #queer manga #aromantic manga #aromanticism #lgbtqia #gay #manga recommendation #i want to be a wall #gay manga #puff talks

[genderqueerdykes]

i've seen loads of aromantic people express feeling wrong about themselves for identifying as aro but not wanting to be in any type of partnering relationship whatsoever, like queerplatonic relationships. i feel like when folks did their best to chase aro and ace people out of the queer community, a lot of common discussions and rhetoric about our experiences became lost which is extremely unfortunate

while aromantic people who date, and aromantic people who get into other types of close relationships are normal, it is an extremely common aromantic experience to not want to have any types of close relationships aside from friendship applied to themselves. this is very common to the aromantic experience. whether or not an aromantic person enjoys dating is up to them, but I just felt it was necessary to point out that many don't and that's normal and alright, too

#aromantic #arospectrum #arospec #aro #aro spectrum #demiromantic #greyromantic #nebularomantic #our writing #greyro #cupioromantic #queer #lgbt #lgbtq

[genderkoolaid]

yeah, but you do mean 'loveless' like 'romanceless' right? Just cause you're not interested in a romantic partnership, and you're never attracted to anyone romantically, that doesn't mean you can't love your family and your friends. Am I understanding wrong? I feel like it's a widely accepted concept that 'love' isn't just romantic, it's about caring about someone, no matter if they're your family or platonic friend or your pet.

No, "loveless" means love-less. Another anon also asked me to explain as well so:

"Lovelessness" in the aro context comes from the essay I Am Not Voldemort by K.A Cook. The essay confronts normative ideas on love, its inherent positivity and what it means to not love. From the introduction, which brings up the question of non-romantic love:

This June, I saw an increasing number of positivity and support posts for the aromantic and a-spec communities discussing the amatonormativity of “everyone falls in love”. I agree: the idea that romantic love is something everyone experiences, and is therefore a marker of human worth, needs deconstruction. Unfortunately, a majority of these posts are replacing the shackles of amatonormativity with restrictive lines like “everyone loves, just not always romantically”, referencing the importance of loving friends, QPPs, family members and pets. Sometimes it moves away from people to encompass love for hobbies, experiences, occupations and ourselves. The what and how tends to vary from post to post, but the idea that we do and must love someone or something, and this love redeems us as human and renders us undeserving of hatred, is being pushed to the point where I don’t feel safe or welcome in my own aromantic community. Even in the posts meant to be challenging the more obvious amatonormativity, it is presumed that aros must, in some way, love. I’ve spent weeks watching my a-spec and aro communities throw neurodiverse and survivor aros under the bus in order to do what the aromantic community oft accuses alloromantic aces of doing: using their ability to love as a defence of their humanity. Because I love, they say, I also don’t deserve to be a target of hatred, aggression and abuse. But what if I don’t love? What if love itself has been the mechanism of the hatred and violence I have endured? Why am I, an aro, neurodiverse survivor of abuse and bullying, still acceptable collateral damage?

The author criticizes the idea of "true love" that is incapable of harm. Ze questions why we construct love in that way, and how it ignores and simplifies the experiences of victims of abuse ("It’s comforting to think that a love that wounds isn’t real love, but it denies the complexity of experience and feeling had by survivors. It denies the complexity of experience and feeling that makes it harder for us to identify abuse and escape its claws. It denies the validity of survivors who look at love and feel an honest doubt about its worth, as a word or a concept, in our own interactions and experiences.") Ze talks about being forced to say "I love you" to transphobic, abusive parents whose feelings of love was the justification for their abuse.

The core of what "loveless" as an concept is about is summed up in this quote:

There is no substantial difference between saying “I’m human because I fall in love”, “I’m human because I love my friends” and “I’m human because I love calligraphy”. All three statements make human worth contingent on certain behaviours, feelings and experiences. Expanding the definition of what kinds of love make us human does nothing but save some aros from abuse and antagonism … while telling survivor and neurodiverse aros, who are more likely to have complex relationships to love as a concept or are unable to perform it in ways recognised by others, that we’re still not worthy.

Lovelessness is against any kind of statement which quantifies humanity (and implicitly, human worth) in the ability to feel or act or experience certain things. Humans are human by virtue of being human, and nothing else. And, it is socially constructed! "Love" has no natural definition! Some people are not comfortable using "love" to describe positive feelings and relationships, and some people do not feel those positive feelings in general. And those people deserve the right to define their own experiences and their own relationship to the social construct of love.

In essence, lovelessness is both a personal as well as (in my opinion) a political identity, born from aro and mad experiences that challenges not just amatonormativity but all ideas that associate personhood and worth with the ability to feel certain things.

& as a note, there is also the term "lovequeer" which describes using the term "love" in ways which contradict mainstream understandings of what it means to love, and which kinds of love are considered worthwhile.

#m. #ask box #loveless aro

[dosie-dosie]

Cool Aro and/or Ace Spec Resources + Other Stuff!!

This list is for ALL people regardless of your identity. This blog is a safe space for all types of aro and/or ace spec people. Hate will NOT be tolerated. Questions are okay! :)

Also! I can't fit all the cool things I found on this list, so I'll make another one in the future! :)

Cool things!

Are You on the Aromantic Spectrum (quiz)?

Are You on the Asexual Spectrum (quiz)?

Aro Ace Character Database

Aro Arrows

Aro-Owned Businesses

Aro-Recommended

Asexual Pride Friendship Bracelet Tutorial

Attraction Layer Cake

Books With Asexual Main Characters

Canon Aroace Characters

Canon Aro and Ace Characters

Crochet Pride Turtle Modification Guide

Free Asexual Bee Crochet Pattern

Free Asexual Flag Cross Stitch Pattern Ace of Spades

Free/Online Aromantic & Asexual Fiction

LGBTQ+ Flags in Minecraft - Banner Tutorial

Pride Patch Tutorials

Learning and Resources!

7 Tips For Coming Out As Ace

Ace/Aro Mythbusting

Ace & Aro Spectrum Definitions

Advice on Coming Out As Aromantic

A Guide to Allo Aro Inclusion in A-Spec Communities

Am I Demisexual If...

Aromantic Info Carrd

Aromantic Spectrum Wiki Stub

Asexual Advice Tumblr

Asexual Affirmations: Things That Don't Make You Any Less Ace

Asexuality and Disability

Asexual Spectrum Wiki Stub

Ask An Aromantic Tumblr

Bi-Oriented Aroace Carrd

List of A-Spec Identities & Info

Myths About Demisexuals

Oriented and Angled Aroace Carrd

Split Attraction Model

Types of Tertiary Attraction

What Is Graysexuality?

Why I’m Founding Disabled Ace Day

Queering The Narrative: Tropes to Avoid When Writing Asexual Characters (intended for allosexuals, not asexual authors)

People's Stories!

An Interview About Allosexual Aromantics

Aro/Ace Confessions Tumblr

Aromantic Coming Out Stories

Asexual Authors Discuss Why They Write and Their Experiences

Asexual Coming Out Stories

Asexual Disabled People Exist, But Don’t Make Assumptions About Us

Asexuality Exists Tumblr

Existing and Defying Stereotypes As An A-Spec Disabled Person

Gray-Romantic, Grieving, and Dealing with More Internalized Amatonormativity than I Thought (tw: internalized arophobia, abuse)

How Asexual and Aromantic People Observe a Day Dedicated to Love

If You Can See the Invisible Elephant, Please Describe It

I'm Aromantic and Asexual - And I Love Valentine's Day

Is It Possible For Me To Be Lesbian and Aroace at the Same Time?

I’ve Realized I’m Asexual but Have Internalised Aphobia, So What Now? (tw: internalized acephobia)

Lesbian Ace and Aro Perspectives

‘Not Broken’: The Struggles of Being an Aromantic Allosexual

Three People Who Identify as Asexual and Aromantic Explain What V Day Is Like For Them

What Is It Like Being Allo Aro?

Communities!

Reddit

r/aaaaaaaarrrrro (memes)

r/aaaaaaacccccccce (memes)

r/aaaaaaaspeccccccc (memes)

r/aaabatterycult

r/aaapeople

r/aaarrroooaaaccceee

r/aarrrooooooaaacceeeee (memes)

r/aceandaroart (art)

r/acearoautistics

r/aceconfessions

r/acefood (food)

r/ace_arosover30

r/acesoftwaregeeks (programming)

r/aceteens

r/aegoromantic

r/aegosexuals

r/agenderaroace

r/allo_ace

r/amiace (ask)

r/angledaroace

r/animace (anime/manga)

r/apothiromantic

r/apothisexual

r/arcsexual

r/aroace

r/aroaceadults

r/aroacebooks (books)

r/aroacechristianity (christianity)

r/aroacecommunity

r/aroacenby

r/aroaceflux

r/aroaceindia (india)

r/aroacememes (memes)

r/aroacepoly

r/aroaceteens

r/aroallo

r/aroandacelife

r/aromantic

r/aromanticasexual

r/aromanticcirclejerk (satire)

r/asexual

r/asexualcirclejerk (satire)

r/asexualdating (dating)

r/asexualgamers (gaming)

r/asexualgaymen

r/asexualindians (india)

r/asexuality

r/asexuals_lesbians

r/asexualmen

r/asexuals_in_love

r/asexualteens

r/askallosexual (ask)

r/askaroace (ask)

r/askasexual (ask)

r/biorientedaroace

r/biroace

r/biromanticasexual

r/cupioromantic

r/cupiosexual

r/dateademi (dating)

r/demiromantic

r/demisexuality

r/faceoface (photos)

r/fictoromantic

r/fictosexual

r/fraysexual

r/graysexual

r/greyromantic

r/greysexuality

r/heteroromanticasexual

r/lithromanitc

r/lithrosexual

r/mildly_ace (photos)

r/myrsesexual

r/orientedaroace

r/panromanticasexuality

r/placiosexualityu

r/sexfavorableace

r/sexrepulsed

r/taskforcealphaalpha

r/traaaaaaarrrrrrro (memes)

r/transasexuals

r/tripleabattery

r/quiromantic

r/quiosexual

Forums

Arocalypse

The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network

Demi Grace

Organizations

Ace & Aros

The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project

Ace Week

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week

Asexuality Archive

Asexual Outreach

The Association for Asexuals in Denmark

AUREA

Resources For Ace Survivors

Discord (I don’t used discord so I haven’t verified if these are any good, but I choose the most popular ones)

Ace Homies

Ace Planet

Acing the Arrows

The Aro & Ace Café

Bows & Aros

For Creatives (Artists, Writers, etc.)

Aromantic Writing Month

Carnival of Aces

Carnival of Aros

Arospec Poetry Network

Aro Worlds

Videos

Asexuality 101 (playlist) (Haven't watch all the vids yet, but the ones I've seen seem pretty good)

Ways to Show Your Aro and Ace Pride

Tumblrs

(If I should remove any of these, let me know)

Acespec-Ed

ActuallySafe-For-Aro

Aro Humor

Asexual-Society

Asexual Spectrum Spector

AVENPT (Asexual Visibility and Education Network Project Team)

Fuck Yeah Asexual

Growing Up Aro

Perks of Being Ace

The Humorous Ace

Your Fav Is Aromantic

Inclusive Picrews

Heart Hold Character

Legitimate ID Maker

Little Guy Maker

Opossum Party

PotatoLord’s Persona Creator

Prideful Cats

Pride Icon Maker

Wervty’s Obscured Icon Maker

If you have any other cool aro and/or ace things you’d like to share, please let me know and I’ll add it to the list! :) Also, if there's anything I should remove, let me know (and please tell me the reason why)!

#aroace #aromantic #asexuality #asexual #aromantism #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqplus #lgbt pride #ace #aro #aro pride #ace pride #aspec #acespec #list #masterlist #demisexual #graysexual #demiromantic #grayromantic #greyromantic #greysexual #angled aroace #oriented aroace #one of ​my autistic special interest is making lists so i enjoyed making this

[writer-ace]

I watched the asexual and aromantic communities get eaten away at by exclusionists and proto-TERFs and queer people making fun of microlabels and people who talked about how they just wanted all of us to stop dividing ourselves so much and people who decided that the concept of the Split Attraction Model was homophobic and people who flooded the ace and aro tags with porn and--

Well, you get the point.

But now a lot of people on this site don't know about ace culture and modern history, so here's some stuff you should know about:

The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) was started in 2001 by asexuality activist David Jay as a forum and educational space about asexuality.

A Carnival of Aces, which is a monthly blogging carnival on ace topics, has been taking place since May 2011 and has included such topics as coming out, non-traditional relationships styles and polyamory, asexual education (which I hosted), and labels and microlabels.

The Split Attraction Model is one model for talking about sexual and romantic orientation that splits out those two orientations, allowing individuals to describe sexual attraction/orientation as distinct from romantic orientation (e.g., aromantic bisexual, heteroromantic grey-asexual). While this model is primarily used by people on the ace and aro spectrums, it can be used by anyone who wants to discuss or describe sexual orientation as being separate from romantic orientation.

The AVEN triangle (or asexuality triangle) is a black and white or greyscale triangle that originated from taking the Kinsey scale and extending it down into another axis to address/acknowledge the range of attraction between what's on the Kinsey scale (allosexuality) and no sexual attraction (asexuality). It's generally presented as white at the horizontal line at the top and then black at the point at the bottom, often with a gradation of shades of grey down to the bottom.

Microlabels are specific (sometimes very narrow) labels for sexualities, romantic orientations, and genders. While these are not aro- or ace-specific, they were often associated with those communities because there was a culture of having nuanced conversations about narrow definitions, often by people couldn't find something that fit their experience in the standard L, G, B, or T lexicon. Demiromantic/demisexual, cupioromantic/cupiosexual, and quoiromantic/quoisexual are all examples of micro-labels.

The ace ring, a black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand (generally) is a symbol of asexuality that some ace people wear. It originated on AVEN in 2005 when people were looking for a symbol that was rather covert.

Cake has also been an ace symbol, mostly from the idea that ace people agree that cake is better than sex. It used to be common to see a drawing of a cake with the ace flag colors.

The ace of (heart/spades/clubs/diamonds) has at times been used as a symbol for different ace spectrum/aro spectrum combinations. Ace of hearts is generally agreed on as alloromantic asexual and ace of spades as aromantic asexual (aroace or aro/ace). Ace of clubs is sometimes for grey-romantic asexual and ace of diamonds sometimes for demiromantic asexual, but those are less common.

Dragons were also associated with the ace community, at least on Tumblr. I'm less certain where this one came from (theories include that they're mythological creatures the way ace people are seen to be or that it's because there were headcanons that Charlie Weasley was ace).

#asexuality #queer history