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headlesssamurai · 4 years

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My Lazy, Poor, Stupid Person’s Attempt to Paint Tabletop Miniatures

by headless

This has nothing to do with covid-19 really, it’s just something I reckoned I’d share. For several years I’ve played Dungeons & Dragons, and occasionally others like Call of Cthulhu and Delta Green, or Shadowrun. Though, I say ‘play’, when I mostly run games as a Dungeon Master. It’s one of those “hobbies” that is a lot of fun for someone like me, but requires a ton of dedication, so it isn’t always easy to get a dedicated group together.

Anyhow, I generally homebrew settings and adventures, never really been too big on running pre-written games, even if some of them are fantastically written. And one of the most frustrating things is I some times want to have a miniature on the battle grid that looks a certain way. This is hardly a big deal, since miniatures are just markers meant for reference in combat encounters, the real image of the characters is in all of our heads.

Still, I sometimes want to have something especially specific, a lot of the players in my current group appreciate cool looking miniatures, and seeing as I’m usually hard-up for cash, I can’t always buy pre-painted mini-figures, unless I get a good bulk deal on ebay or something.

One of my recent attempts to acquire bulk miniatures came a few years back when I realized during the 4E days, Wizards of the Coast had released boxed board games themed with the D&D style, which all came with a great deal of unpainted miniatures; these came in sets like Wrath of Ashardalon, or The Legend of Drizzt, with lots of themed minis for the board game’s scenario.

Anyhow, I’ve had a ton of these unpainted miniatures forever and use them often for nobody-NPCs and other characters the players run across. Lately, however, the group I’ve been running in a campaign for about eleven months (usually weekly), ran across a problem where their dragonborn ranger Grixxis was captured by and then negotiated his away out of the clutches of this ancient entity who calls herself Gorgoth (who appears to be a pale, beautiful young woman, but probably isn’t; even the not so arcane-y Grixxis intuited that much). She was actually impressed that he resisted her Sleep spell, and offered him a deal, she’d let him go but he needs to complete a task for her in the next seven days, and if it isn’t completed in that time frame his soul will be bound to her forever.

The task was to go to a mountaintop and retrieve something that resides there, though Gorgoth did not explain what the object was, so the party set off to find this mysterious mountain. The journey led them to an area of bad wilderness where no one lives, and where roving bands of orcs constantly hunt and war with one another, so only a few people know anything about that region. The party ended up hiring a guide, who was a wood elf exile named Skaya. They seemed to be intrigued by her because she’s living in a city which is currently at war with wood elves, so there’s a lot of prejudice and racism against her kind. Skaya does have facial tattoos that indicate she’s been exiled from her tribe and therefore no longer truly considered by her people to be a wood elf (their worst form of punishment in this universe), but still, the party seemed immediately fascinated by this single NPC among the potential seven or so they might’ve hired for this expedition.

Anyhow, my players have only gotten truly invested in one other NPC they’ve met before this; a small little orc toddler named Gruuba who they saved from a bunch of slave trading bandits early on in the campaign. I’ve had difficulty finding a good miniature for Gruuba too (because she’s really small and scrawny), but since she’s at the same developmental level as a human six year-old they try to keep her out of combat scenarios (despite Gruuba’s excited insistence that she enjoys using clubs “for smashings”). Since the party have begun to really enjoy Skaya as character, the longer they’ve slowly, slowly gotten to know more about her stand-offish personal history, I really wanted to get a miniature for her that reflected my image of her better than the one I’d been using.

So, even though I got basically no experience doing so, I bought a miniature from Reaper Miniatures, and after looking up a few tutorial vids for beginners like me, I set about trying to paint my first mini-figs.

Two things, if you’re looking into this yourself; First, I’m not totally unartistic, I write creatively and I sketch with pencils and ink. Painting’s fairly new to me, but it’s not like I have absolutely no artistic talent. I also solder a lot of really small wires and components in my normal daily job, so I may have better muscle control for this sort of thing than some people. I only mention this because I may have had a few advantages in this undertaking. I just don’t want to make people overly confident, keep things in perspective. So whatever your level of expertise at this, if you want to start just try to patiently measure your expectations, and don’t get discouraged if your first results aren’t so great. All things improve with time.

And B. if you’re poor, lazy, and stupid like me, there’re ways to get around that. This video I watched gave me a good rundown of the basic steps which are; - scrub the plastic down with some dish soap, luke-warm water, and a toothbrush; allow at least 1 hour to dry (I let them sit for a day because I’m paranoid), and be sure there’s no lingering moisture before you start painting - get a good primer or base coat on the model before you start adding other colors; lighter base coats allow more colors to show up easier, while darker base coats tend to make the colors you paint over them darker - stay calm and take your time - try to paint the colors that’ll go under other colors first, like, if a barbarian dude is shirtless but’s wearing a few pieces of armor, paint his shirtless skin first, then paint the armor he’s wearing second because it layers over better that way - use thinner paints and multiple coats of a color to get an even final color instead of one thick coat - allow each coat of paint to dry for 10 - 20 minutes before applying the next coat - learn about washes, pigments, and inks, because they’re awesome - get a decent varnish for a final protective coat, matte varnishes make the model look dryer and flat, gloss varnishes make the model look shiny and wet, if you do a coat of gloss and a coat of matte varnish it equalizes it pretty good

And this video here sort of laid to rest my fears that I’ll need to spend $600 on paints and washes and stuff. The very helpful lady in that video explains how she uses generic acrylic paints from the craft store (I got mine at Wal-Mart) to paint her Warhammer miniatures, and she even offers a method of making your own washes from a combination of paint and flavorless mouth wash. It’s genius. So try not to stress too much about buying the really nice brand name paints, because it’s not necessary, those paints just have an optimal mix I think, otherwise they’re the same damn thing as generic acrylic paints. Also, you’re just trying to learn, so unless you really, really feel like emptying your bank account, just use the generic stuff.

I started out painting something I didn’t care about. I wanted my miniature for Skaya to look badass and awesome, so I wanted to start with some practice miniatures. Grabbed a few from those 4E board game sets and gave it a shot. But I had also recently gotten hold of a Goliath Barbarian miniature from the Player’s Handbook Heroes sets (also from the 4E days) a rare find, since it usually goes for like $60.00 by itself. Randomly found some dude on ebay selling an unopened box set for $20.00, so I got a wild elf druid and a human berserker along with it. So I started out touching up the goliath’s armor to make it look more like armor and less like weird blue stuff.

Here’s a before-and-after for him (I didn’t take photos of them before because I wasn’t anticipating this, so I just found examples from around the web):

Next I tried a re-paint. A friend of mine had recently guest-played in my campaign and created a half-drow monk (his backstory was fantastic), so since nothing like that exists, I took a Soulknife Infiltrator miniature seen here:

And repainted it to sort of look like his half-drow Monk of the Open Palm:

I finally had the courage to do a full paint, so I grabbed the Dragonborn Elementalist from the Wrath of Ashardalon box, and painted her up with reddish scales (I’m one of those who thinks dragonborn should have physical attributes of their heritage).

In the box her name’s Heskan. I definitely used way too much wash on this one so she looks super shiny.

I then took the orc archers in that same box, and not really paying too much attention this time, quickly painted them, because I lack many orc archers:

At this point, I felt it was time to finally paint Skaya, the wood elf exile. I used the Reaper Bones model Deladrin, Female Assassin ($1.99) for Skaya’s mini.

And taking way more hours than I did on the others, which were only about 1-3 hours each, when you count waiting for the coats to dry, I managed to sort of make her look like Skaya, I guess:

After this, the fact that it wasn’t complete and utter shit, which is what I expected, I was encouraged. So I tried to do out party’s tortle cleric, named Daruuk of Chult (who oddly speaks with a Slavic accent, so that’s how people from Chult sound in our campaign), for whom we’ve lacked an accurate mini-figure for some time. I bought a pack of Spikeshell Warriors ($2.99) from the Reaper Bones line.

But Daruuk characteristically wields a large shield and a warhammer, so for some reason I got super detailed and bought a pack of loose shields from the Reaper Bones line ($0.99), then bought Halbarad ($1.49) a human cleric.

I clipped off Halbarad’s hammer at the hilt, then I trimmed the spikes off of the spikeshell warrior’s club, and used a dremel to carfully mill a hole inside the shaft of the spikeshell’s club, then pinned the hammer inside and secured it with gorilla gel. I used an actual cork board pin to push the shield onto the spikshell’s offhand after cutting off his turtle shell shield in order to pin it before gluing, then clipped off the rest of the cork board pin. Somehow, this ended up making the shield look meaner because it now has a like pyramidal spike sticking out the center. After allowing the glue to dry I painted him up, and my attempt at Daruuk the Death Cleric turned out thus:

I guess his hammer looks sort of Acme-level cartoony, but he’s a giant 350 lb. turtle-man who talks like Omega Red from X-Men The Animated Series, so I’m okay with that. The spikeshell also fits well with the razorback sub-race feature I allowed Daruuk’s player to homebrew for himself. I was really proud of this one.

Finally, because I’m an insane asshole who is getting obsessed with my new hobby, I decided it was dragons or bust. So I bought a pre-primed unpainted Young Blue Dragon from WizKids ($13.99).

And spent, like, three days meticulously testing different paint layers to see how they come out. I tried to paint her in the tradition of blue dragons as they appear in the art of Forgotten Realms material, but gave her a somewhat darker cast, and added metallic blue layers to her claws and spinal ridges. I still need to paint her base, put some highlights on her eyes to accentuate the glowing effect and add my washes to give her a final layer of dimension, but here’s how she came out so far:

Behold, Stormfang! Mistress of Thunder...

Anyhow.

This is super long and I wonder if anyone will bother to read any of it. But just wanted to put this out there. From a dude who, if you asked me a year ago if I thought I could do this, I’d have said I’m too stupid, poor, and lazy. I still think of myself as all of those things. The real pros use crazy detailed techniques with like seven layered highlights on their models, and airbrushes and all kinds of other madness. I use maybe three coats total and I don’t get too worked up if I make a mistake here and there, and I haven’t spent more than maybe fifty bucks total across six weeks, and most of that was wasting paints because I was still learning how to mix different shades.

So if you got something you feel like you’ve always wanted to do but are too stupid, poor, and lazy to figure out, just go for it yo. I managed to crack out these bastards and I still think I suck, but it’s way better looking than I expected. For real though, you should see some of those Warhammer players, they got mad crazy god skills at this stuff compared to me. But your level of skill isn’t the point. The point is to have that moment with that thing you did, and look at it, and just go “Yeh, I did that” when at one time you never believed you ever could.

There’s always going to be somebody better than you, but even they, like all of us, are still learning.

侍 headless

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purralyth · 4 years

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How have things been going with Chariot and crew? Maybe I missed some things, but it feels like it's been awhile since I last heard of their shenanigans! Has the gf been helping out? Any crisises? (In the world around them or emotional?) What is the DEALIO I am ready to hear it!

haHAHAHA i’ll be honest i don’t talk much about their emotional/world crises because they are happening All the time. our dm wants to see us suffer. but let’s have a small summary shall we, i’m actually going to put this one under a read more bc we’ve done That Much

so first things first, the gang got shunted into the feywild, i talked about that much. that’s where we picked up our lovely little tiefling monk Fuarthas (Silence, back then) from his awful hag grandmother rosie, found chariot’s masked mom, and then got taunted by a fey demigod in his Hell Maze and he proposed to fuarthas and now they’re engaged because he’s a warlock now it’s fun shit. anyway. we get back to toril with the crew (and chariot’s masked mom’s ship, lovingly dubbed Eri’s Chariot after her daughter and her dead boytoy, that we thought we might have to leave behind) and we find out that in the MAYBE month-long period we’ve been in the feywilds, 2.5 years have gone by on toril. meteors have fallen from the sky, which is now a permanent blood red, people are chanting at these meteors embedded in the city like possessed cultists who attack anyone that threatens to take them out, and the worms coming out of the meteors are like kind of sort of turning people undead?? it’s messed up. Cool Stuff. but chariot’s aunt mom Serenity and uncle dad Patience opened up an orphanage so that’s cool

So we got some magic tattoos in some downtime (Chariot got 2, one on the back of her neck that lets her understand Undercommon, and another on her chest that gives her a free use of Mage Armour per day) and met up with some new NPCs, one of which is traveling with us now as our cleric-fighter and is dating(??) our big tiddy big heart half-orc barbarian Lockjaw, and left our aasimar monk’s kickass wife behind to run her tavern bc she’s expecting. we go to look at some funky stuff going down in the town cemetary. first thing we do is go see erran, our moon elf friend we took into the feywild and hates us now for it, and he takes us into this portal and shows us this weird temple thing his supervisor or something had just discovered. there’s these murals on the walls of meteors striking the earth, and a flood, and some figures sailing on a ship through the sky, and then 7(?) figures, that like kind of seem like Us but not quite on par, so fun stuff, and these two HUGE statues in the main chamber. somebody presses a button and this fantasy Alexa bitch floats down from the ceiling and is like oh shit presences detected. and starts listing these titles, like Sufferer, and Guardian, and Exceptional, and then locks onto jia and is like ABERRATION DETECTED FUCK THOSE SHITS and tries to kill her so she has to run. basically without making this too long we find out that we (chariot, frazier, lockjaw, fuarthas, and frazier’s daughter) are descendants of some ancient heroes that saved the world once, and we grave rob just a little and get some cool magic items, and there’s this prophecy that we’ll stop the apocalypse or something?????? shit’s wack. we go back out to see jia and chariot’s trying real hard to cover for her but she’s like well i cant rly hide it anymore. hey guys i have an illithid tadpole In my brain and it didn’t develop so now i’m also part of a separate prophecy that i’ll wipe out all the illithid. but look at this i can float but chariot and i did some research and the only way to not have it be a problem anymore is to destroy my skull and then resurrect me. so that’s a lot of fun!!!!!

still in that cemetary, we find a trail of meteor worms. follow them into a secret passage that leads to the lair of Sunshine, masked mom’s dead assistant that chariot one-shot, but it turns out she’s a necromancer! she kicks our asses to unconsciousness even after chariot polymorphed into a t-rex and sells us to Neogi in the underdark, which if you don’t know what they are, google them, they’re fucked up spider giraffe eels that are evil incarnate and basically were slave trading us & psychically torturing Jia the whole way!! which made chariot throw cantrip after cantrip at them to try to hurt them so they just mind-control enslaved her over and over so that’s fucked her up good :)

we get sold to some drow after a week. beefy boys were sent to work manual labour til they die, and the rest of us were set to be sacrificed to Lolth, so we go haha we have to get out of here asap. chariot disguise selfs into a drow guard (a man bc i was very stupid) and gets caught 2 seconds out the door by a cleric of lolth, who sets up some mix between a dick appointment and an ass kicking for later bc chariot didn’t like. idk acknowledge her. fuck drow. she and fuarthas (who she was pretending to transport) skedaddle into a side chamber and a drow guard captain comes in. she goes to beat up fuarthas so chariot attacks her and a wild magic pops off and they fall mutually head over heels in love and lust with each other, which is MESSY. chariot convinces her to help round the gang up, but everywhere they look everyone’s gone missing (frazier and lockjaw got into a fight down at the manual labour camp and jia turned into a fish and shrieked so she’s gone) so chariot ends up wined and dined and tries desperately not to let this drow captain Do Her and does not take a long rest bc she has to stay awake and make sure this woman doesn’t wake up and see she’s not actually Erran the Drow Guard. but when everyone wakes up a shadow dragon is attacking this drow camp. cool. yes. awesome. fantastic. hell breaks loose, chariot and zarra (the drow captain) find frazier and jia in a stairwell, zarra kisses chariot goodbye and runs off to do stuff after a hefty persuasion check, jia gets Understandably Angry, we run like hell to find our magic items they bought with us and get the hell out of dodge With Lockjaw’s new orc army he’s recruited and the drow dude we found that’s a part of Frazier’s old order. shadow dragon finds us, holy shit she’s frazier’s adopted mom, she offers us a ride back while chariot very desperately tries to tell jia she doesn’t know what’s going on and why zarra kissed her and why she feels like this (she didn’t know it was a charm !!) and generally feeling Very Shitty. we get to frazier’s old monastery and the charm wears off, chariot and jia have a very long talk and chariot breaks a couple times, chariot steals a bottle of wine to try and feel better, she gets in shit for it and frazier takes the fall, he gets whipped as a punishment which just breaks chariot even more, she puts herself on house arrest for a full week, jia finally starts talking to her again 3 days into that, they do some drugs, chariot makes a deal with shadow dragon mama to split the cost of a teleportation circle and the gang blows up at her but she’s like nah it’s cool. at this point she is using her +9 deception to pretend she didn’t just break for a whole week and nothing happened and she’s totally good now guys dont even worry about it.

side tangent from All That, we go to deal with a giant problem for the monastery and there’s corpses strung up with the symbols on chariot’s palm all over. lots of combat yadda yadda, trap one giant in a room and ask her questions through the door, get some cool insight on chariot’s magics that she still has no idea how it works. turns out there’s a third queen of the feywilds, the queen of night and magic if i remember correctly, and she was shunned for her beauty and her and all of her subjects were made to be ugly and misshapen or some messed up stuff. chariots like oh fuck we were just there and no one said shit about a queen that apparently everyone hates that she has the symbols for on her Hands and honestly on her cape as well half the time. but ok cool that’s some new info sweet.

jia’s still guilting chariot for kissing zarra (even though it was a CHEEK KISS and she didn’t do it) because chariot’s been feeling awful that jia got into a romantic relationship (WITH FRAZIER’S DAUGHTER WHO JOINED JIA’S CULT, FUNNY ENOUGH) on her like 10 month leave bc she assumed she’d never get to see chariot again, but that’s a whole can of worms. lots of emotional fuckage though, chariot feels even worse that that happened bc jia hadn’t even been charmed, etc etc etc. but she’s never gonna say any of it bc she’s terrified jia will leave a second time and bringing any of that up might be what triggers it So!

we get told the neogi are selling slaves to jia’s old god, Ool’zakgothool the Aboleth who has been the Big Bad since like session 3-5, so we need to go stop that shit so we can go take down this aboleth and get frazier’s daughter back. but first we have literally no money bc we got sold and had all our shit stolen so we have to sell the like 700lbs of elven armour and weaponry we stole from a navy outpost place thing in the feywild. so we get to solve a little murder mystery in a gnome town so that’s fun. go back to the monastery, pick up some stuff, get some cool magic items made by our new artificer friend Jokk who’s part of the same prophecy we are, and head out again to fuck up these neogi. but on the way jia suddenly sprints ahead and gets like hug tackled by 5 kids who she apparently raised in her cult, and we get lead back to the marketplace where we plan on staking out the neogi and following back to their camp, but uh oh there’s 100 cultists here who swarm us and there’s some midsommar shit and we just fight the neogi right then and there and that’s basically where we’re picking up now. they enslaved lockjaw who oneshot chariot bc she’s a weak little bitch so jia kicked him in the ribs it was fun. and now we’re holding the elf that threatened to cut chariot’s tail off from our Neogi Cage Days hostage to tell us where the shiny gold head hauncho went bc he dimension doored out while chariot was paralyzed and couldn’t counterspell and we want him Dead. to be continued

#akitheshinigamia #ask #chariot #THANK YOU #WE'VE DONE SO MUCH THIS ISN'T EVEN THE HALF OF SHIT #I'M SURE I MISSED A COUPLE THINGS

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dailybestiary · 6 years

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Patch Has Issues: Dungeon #1

Issue: Dungeon #1

Date: September/October 1986. (I was just entering 3rd grade—a dismal year for me—and hadn’t yet discovered D&D at this point. I had just watched Optimus Prime pass away on the operating table during The Transformers: The Movie, though.)

The Cover:

(Use of cover for review purposes only and should not be taken as a challenge to status. Credit and copyright remain with their respective holders.)

One of the notable things about Dungeon was that the covers were actually commissioned for the magazine, instead of just vaguely connected to the issue’s theme like Dragon’s were. The late Keith Parkinson’s “Into the Flame” shows off the star of the issue, the red dragon Flame. Its very humanoid posture recalls Parkinson’s time doing draconians for the Dragonlance line. I’m guessing he was very proud of being picked to launch the magazine—this image is the first that comes up on his website to this day. (If you’re curious, Parkinson’s work in general is great if you like knights in bad weather and big humanoids, but he definitely leans hard into the all-women-in-fantasy-are-bikini-wearing-sorceresses trope, a habit that—like many ex-TSR artists—only got more pronounced as his career progressed. It’s no wonder he moved into video games.)

The Adventures:

“The Dark Tower of Cabilar” by Michael Ashton & Lee Sperry, AD&D, Levels 4–7

Our very first Dungeon Adventure is...*drum roll*...a converted tournament module that is pretty rudimentary: Defeat the vampire in his stalagmite tower-and-dungeon combo (I’m already thinking a stalactite would have had more cinematic appeal), and retrieve the crown that can prove your employer’s godson’s noble lineage.

Right off the bat, this adventure features encounters with fire drakes and lava children! Yep, you read that right—lava children. (Pathfinder fans will remember them from Misfit Monsters Redeemed.) Clearly Dungeon is not afraid of Fiend Folio weirdness.

Beyond that, the module screams “I was written for a tournament” with the number of traps and cursed items and red herrings involved, and not in a good way. Once we get to to the dungeon levels, as a reader I’m just listlessly going room by room till we get to the Big Bad. Overall, a disappointing start.

“Assault on Eddistone Point” by Patricia Nead Elrod, AD&D, Levels 1–3

Our first adventure by a woman author is only our second adventure out of the gate! This bodes well for the rest of the series—wait. Hold on. Is that Patricia Nead as in P. N. Elrod? I’ve never read her work, but she’s helmed some anthologies that Jim Butcher’s short stories have appeared in. I’m guessing this is an early cut from her? And frankly the hand of an experienced author is all over these pages—a vast step up from the previous article (whose authors, to be fair, seem like they were still in college, according to their bios).

So first off, this is a tidy little adventure: Check out why the team sent to repair a signal tower hasn’t reported back. (Even Bryce likes it! We’ll talk about Bryce below.) The NPCs aren’t locked to one location (except the hostages), so once PCs get to the tower, it’s up to the GM to position them and assign reactions. But the cast is small enough this doesn’t seem daunting, even for new GMs, and you could run this thing in a single night.

But where it really shines, as I said, is the deft authorship. Elrod very quickly delivers a tight sketch of the location: two city-states vying for market advantage, dwarves under the mountain range in between minting the gold that moves said markets, some signal towers that exist as a compromise to keep the peace, and what the heck, also some elves in the valley between.

Now, this is basic stuff. And not even pumpkin-spice-latte basic...this is “I’ve only read The Hobbit” basic. Dwarves minting gold and elves in the woods and most of the villains are half-orcs? Even for 1986, this ought to be chucked in the bin as trite.

And yet...it’s not, because of Elrod’s deft pen. I suddenly want to find out more about these cities in the course of play—maybe one could be a good home base for the party? The interplay of politics and markets and signal fires and dwarf relations is just specific enough to feel real, while being sketchy enough it could be dropped into most game worlds. The clever chief antagonist is distinctive enough I don’t mind her stereotypical brute sidekicks, and trying to uncover her employer could lead to the next session’s adventure. It’s basic sure, but it’s Basic Rules-red-box basic. In other words, it feels classic. I wouldn’t put this in front of my grad school gaming group, necessarily, but if I got asked to run an afterschool session for some middle-schoolers wanting to learn the game? Hell yes!

At this point, I’ve probably oversold this adventure, so forgive me if you are underwhelmed by it. But I’m willing to risk a little overhyping to celebrate what can be constructed with such simple meat-and-potatoes ingredients.

And that’s not even counting the not-meat-and-potatoes elements, like the white raven who is already one of my favorite familiars ever, and the ticking clocking scenario the weather sets up (you need to beat the mercenaries before they can mess with the signals), and the names of the other watchtower peaks, each one slyly suggesting another adventure, and…yeah, I dig this.

“Grakhirt’s Lair” by John Nephew, AD&D, Levels 1–3

John Nephew wrote one of my favorite D&D supplements of all time, Tall Tales of the Wee Folk, which I won’t shut up about—I’ve even told him so on Twitter—so I don’t feel bad in saying that this entry is a total dud for me. Pretty much the only interesting thing about this adventure is that the humanoid antagonists are the Fiend Folio’s norkers, and they get the classic 1e AD&D humanoid treatment: that is, absolutely nothing sets them apart from any other humanoid out there aside from their stat blocks. You can skip this one without guilt.

(Admittedly, Nephew was also shockingly young when he did both this and TTotWF. Looking back, I really wish I’d made some different decisions re: my writing growing up—I was disengaging with the hobby just at the age when other people were hammering down the door to get published. Sigh. But hey, none of them held a Run-DMC concert or hung out with Rahzel at age 21, right? We all have our journeys.)

“The Elven Home,” by Anne Gray McReady, D&D, Levels 1–3

Our first D&D adventure! D&D, specifically BECMI D&D, was the neglected stepchild of the late ’80s and early ’90s, despite the earnest efforts of line champion Bruce Heard, Dungeon editors Roger Moore and Barbara Young, and a lot of talented freelancers. But I was a fierce D&D partisan, because it was what I was first introduced to and what I could afford, and because I loved the variety of classes and cultures the Known World allowed. For a line that often felt overlooked in terms of marketing and support, the love and talent put into the books that did exist were evident on almost every page.

So I wish I could find more to recommend “The Elven Home,” but it’s not even really an adventure or even a side trek—instead it’s a thoroughly fleshed-out NPC encounter that should lead to combat only if the PCs are particularly boorish. Like Bryce (again, see below) I could have used more whimsy and more weirdness to make these elves stand out just a bit more, though their twee personalities (more faerie than Tolkien) at least set them apart from most elves PCs run across these days. So your mileage may vary—some of you may be utterly charmed by this (I lean at least somewhat charmed), others of you very much not.

“Into the Fire,” by Grant & David Boucher, AD&D, Levels 6–10

I was expecting a lot out of this adventure—the cover dragon, Flame, was the closest thing Dungeon had to a mascot till the Adventure Path years under Paizo, and he wound up appearing in at least one or two more sequel adventures, if I recall correctly.

While I wasn’t blown away, I can see where the fondness comes from. The adventure isn’t particularly special at first. A necklace shows up that may hint at the fate of a lost prince, but following that lead means following the trail of a recently deceased knight, and—spoilers!—that trail leads back to a dragon. But then the combat with Flame is presented, and the brothers Boucher serve up a number of round-by-round tactics and dirty tricks for Flame to employ that wouldn’t feel out of place in 3.5...and I’m guessing were thrilling in 1986.

Remember, this is before dragons had varying power levels according to age—and were often asleep in their lairs to boot—so if DMs weren’t careful high-level characters would carve through them like butter. (Seriously, it was such an issue that every June Dragon Magazine would churn out articles about how to keep your dragons alive longer. They did this for decades.) It’s easy to ding the Bouchers—Bryce (see below) certainly does—for coming up with too many reasons why Flame is immune to PC powers and abilities throughout the adventure. But to me it just feels like an experienced red wyrm doing what an experienced red wyrm who wants to live would do. Flame is smart, more interested in survival than winning, and while he plans to ruin the PCs’ lives as thoroughly as possible, he’ll run if he has to. PCs who survive will be stoked to tell the tale, and that feeling will only be magnified by a massive treasure haul with a number of flavorful items and future adventure seeds of its own.

Other things to note: There’s a slanty tower that’s okay (I’m a sucker for slanty towers), but where it’s placed in the adventure, it will likely be an anticlimax. There are also some big wandering monster encounters—a score of ogres with an ogre magi, two dozen ghouls and ghasts, etc.—that I’d be interested to see how they rebalanced for Pathfinder/5e D&D. I think shows like Game of Thrones have put the fear back into random encounters with large groups of humanoids, so it would be fun to play that out even if the math says the PCs shouldn’t break a sweat.

Is this my favorite adventure? Not by a long shot. But I can see why readers were fond of it and why Flame’s legend persisted.

“Guardians of the Tomb,” by Carl Smith, AD&D, Levels 3–5

That...is some very boring architecture for a shrine. Also, why would a master thief even have a shrine? Especially in a swamp? And while I’m vague on the relative power levels of 3rd–5th-level characters in 1e AD&D, I feel like 2(x PCs+ y retainers) shadows+1d12 even more shadows = a whole damn lot of shadows to trap the PCs with behind an 18th-level wall of stone! Apparently Smith even worked for TSR at some point—did no one pull him aside and say, “Dude! Game balance!”?

I have questions.

Not only does this seem a bit extreme, at least for an unlucky 3rd-level party, it feels personal. This feels like Carl Smith had some players he wanted to teach a lesson. The bio says Carl Smith’s first love is Westerns; I’m guessing he likes the ones about the Alamo or Butch Cassidy or Unforgiven where pretty much everyone dies at the end.

Who hurt you, Carl Smith? Who hurt you?

Best Read: “Assault on Eddistone Point.”

Best Adventure I Could Actually Run with Minimal Prep: All but “Into the Fire” could probably be run after only a second read-through. But I actually want to run “Assault on Eddistone Point.”

Best Concept: As dungeon locations go, a leaning tower that’s leaning because a dragon decided the best way to kill the wizard inside was just to land on the dang thing and knock it over is a pretty good concept.

Best Monster: You always remember your first dragon. So of course, we have to give this accolade to the always-two-steps-ahead Flame.

Best NPC: I’m a fan of the crafty Vorona in “Assault on Eddistone Point,” but the tie goes to the titular elves of “The Elven Home,” who literally want to chat so badly that the party might get attacked by stirges for lingering too long. Don’t overlook the wolfwere in “Into the Flame” though— he sounds like a real a$$#ole.

Best Map: “Into the Flame”’s Lake Haven kinda-isometric hex map, though I also do like seeing the dragon’s volcano lair map with a boat right in the middle.

Best Thing Worth Stealing: A dragon’s volcano lair with a boat right in the middle.

Worst Aged: The magazine’s first adventure hadn’t even started yet and the text was reminding us to look up climbing rules and calculate the PCs’ weights. Yikes. I don’t miss 1e AD&D. Also, the term “magic-user.” Oy. So glad that’s gone. Oh, and alignment tongues! Ye gods, remember alignment tongues? No, you don’t, because they made no sense and no one over the age of 11 ever used one in their game.

What Bryce Thinks: “Wow. I had no idea that 1e adventures sucked ass so much.”

One of the only people who has done in-depth online reviews of old Dungeon issues is a dude named Bryce Lynch over at tenfootpole.org—which is hilarious, because Bryce hates old Dungeon adventures. An OSR (old-school renaissance) fan through and through, Bryce is super particular about what he considers an acceptable adventure. To his credit, he wants adventures able to be easily run at the table, but he also loathes boxed read-aloud text, long backstory, and pretty much anything he regards as fluff. Which means Dungeon, even at this primordial stage of the game, drives him around the twist (as our Brit readers might say)—and it’s only going to get worse. Even so, I’m going to check in on his reviews as we go along, because his laser focus on the GM’s experience at the table is a good yin to my all-about-the-fluff/inspiration yang.

But for what it’s worth...we pretty much line up on our faves for this issue. Go us! Ditto Adam Perdona, whose tastes also seem to line up with mine and who also liked “The Elven Home.”

So, Is It Worth It?: Okay so let’s say you play Pathfinder, 5e D&D, or some other contemporary system. Should you run out and try to find a physical copy of Dungeon #1?

Well...aside from the collector’s value (it is a #1 after all)...probably not. There’s nothing here that screams “Pull me off the shelf”—what pleasures are inside will also be in the PDF.

What this issue does offer is a back-to-basics approach to adventure construction and worldbuilding that I think we sometimes need. Sometimes all you need is some dwarves, some elves, and a dragon. Sometimes we need to forget secret societies and trade disputes and just help a king who’s lost his prince. Think of Dungeon #1—specifically “Assault on Eddistone Point” and “Into the Flame”—like one of those articles you sometimes see in GQ or Esquire: “How to Grill a Steak. No, put down the pesto, put down the chutney, put down the coffee dry rub and remoulade. You’re going to grab some salt and pepper and maaaybe some butter and We Are Going to Grill a Goddamn STEAK.”

If you want fusion sushi, look elsewhere. Are you in the mood for steak? Look for these two adventures.

Random Thoughts:

Editor Roger Moore’s voice in the intro is so stiff—he would be way more assured and relaxed in the ’90s.

It’s a huge nostalgia trip seeing maps in “1 square = 10’” after years of 5’ squares in 3.0/3.5/Pathfinder.

Speaking of maps, they’re still pretty rudimentary here—it is 1986, after all. But I’m pleased that we are immediately getting side or isometric views of some of these locations (especially the towers) to give us a better sense of what these structures look like. I’m a big fan of that.

One of the weird things about published D&D, AD&D, and Pathfinder settings is that, for an ostensibly Middle Ages-inspired hobby, most show surprisingly little interest in the standard medieval trappings. Kings and princes are rare, city-states are the norm rather than feudal kingdoms, and even knights and castles have largely given way to mercenaries and manor houses. I think there are tons of reasons for this—questing knight tropes feeling stale or immature, the gradual shift of the hobby’s default assumptions to early Renaissance and the Mediterranean rather than medieval England, more opportunities for political conflict but with more manageable stakes... (And let’s face it: high-level PCs just love regicide. Oligarchs don’t have targets on their backs the way kings do.) Anyway, I bring all this up because early Dungeon is clearly not afraid of kings, queens, princes, or knights. If your tastes are more King Arthur & Prince Hal than Diplomats & Doges, you might want to check these early issues out.

Comfy rooms that make you sleepy are an overdone trope in this era.

Leaning/slanty towers also get a lot of love in Dungeon—perhaps too much—but I will never not love them.

If a description, even if just meant for the GM, is going to use a simile that takes me out of the game world such as “like Spanish bayonet,” I’d prefer it walled off in parentheses.

A lot of the art inside this issue (especially James Holloway’s) would be reused again and again in the pages of Dragon, including for subscription cards, the No-SASE Ogre, and even “The Voyage of the Princess Ark.”

Notable Ads: An ad for Lankhmar, City of Adventure, for you classic sword & sorcery fans, and the Dungeoneer’s Survival Guide for AD&D.

(Any fans of the DSG out there? I’ve always heard it, like, laid the groundwork for what we think of as the Underdark. But every time I’ve seen a used copy on the shelf I’ve opened to pages and pages of rules about mining and smelting and I’ve closed it in horror.)

This Month in Dragon: Dragon #113 offers a cardboard dragon (assuming you have a physical copy or can get creative with the PDF), a tour of Hades, fiction by Harry Turtledove, and some nasty Gamma World robots. Dragon #114 serves up the witch NPC, the elven cavalier class, and Marvel’s Inhumans.

#daily bestiary #patch has issues #pathfinder #paizo #3.5 #dungeons & dragons #dungeons and dragons #d&d #dnd #dungeon #dungeon magazine #ad&d #becmi

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littlemissgeek8 · 5 years

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Okay I just wanted to say I love your dnd art like so much!! It’s amazing!!! If you don’t mind me asking, can you summarize what you’ve done in your campaign with Jemima Appleblossom so far? She’s so cute and I would literally die for your PC

Aww!! Thanks! It’s always a joy to run into people who likemy characters! :3 I can totally give you a summary of our campaign thoughunfortunately it is 30 episodes atthe time of writing, with 31 going up later today, and I was unable to shrinkit to a reasonable size. I’ll put it under a cut to save on people’s dashspace, and I’ll also put links here for the youtube playlists in case there’sanyone who’d like to watch it instead of just reading about it. XD And for anyone interested in the series, this recap will catch you up in time for today’s episode to go out!

For those not wanting to read through all 8,930 words ofthis, TL;DR: “Ragtag group of adventurers get pulled into another world wherethey find themselves rubbing elbows with gods, fighting monsters, makingfriends, reviving demigods and unwittingly unleashing some massively dangerousthings onto the planet. In between accidentally dying a few times.”

[Ghostwolf] [EscoNitz] [CriticalHat]

Well, we started off in Parnast, sent by our individualfactions to investigate a missing wizard. My halfling bard Jemima is a Harper,same as our other bard, the human Gineye. Our other party members included Lei,the Tortle Paladin, Zuradar the Tiefling ranger, Lilystra the half-orcbarbarian and Zareem, the Aasimar warlock (who works for the Zhentarim, theonly other faction I remember.) On our way to find the missing wizard, we raninto a bunch of Kobolds who attacked us, but one Kobold --with distinctivewooden legs and one arm-- was trapped inside a cart by his own people and gaveus some assistance. When we finally found the wizard he was in the process ofsummoning something that turned out to be a Water Weird, which subsequently atethe whole party, ending the first session.

We woke up a week later inside an infirmary, which we soondiscovered was in an underwater city—the water weird didn’t just eat us, ittransported us basically to another dimension far away from Faerun. Seeing usas adventurers, one of the triton soldiers from the town we woke up in took us upto the surface to the port town of Audio Bay. (I might be spelling it wrong,sorry, I don’t have good notes this far back.) There, a dwarven merchant namedJonah gave us a quest to track down some missing gear that was stolen from him,a quest which lead us to a well with a Zhentarim symbol on it (surprisingly,since none of our factions exist in this dimension) and inside said well, weencountered a “dungeon” of a dubious nature filled with hobgoblins and bugbearsin leather armor and chain shirts. (Yes it was a kink dungeon, no I don’t wantto remember much about it. XD) After thoroughly stomping everyone involved, aminiscule orc calling himself “Bob” entered the room, shouting at us forhurting his people (whom he then revived with no effort at all.) We told him ofour mission and he agreed to let us take the stolen weapons back, along withgifting us a mysterious box filled with magic coins and a magical shield to ourpaladin. It wasn’t until later that we discovered that “Bob” was actually thegod of slaughter, not until after Zareem managed to roll a natural 100 and hithim with an eldritch blast.

As we left the dungeon, we were greeted by a pack of strangelooking wolves and a tall, blond man in a black coat who asked us to give himthe weapons we’d retrieved. He wouldn’t accept “no” for an answer, nor did wehave much time to try convincing him that we’d been assigned to collect thembefore our hair-trigger warlock decided to cast Charm Person on this newcomer.Unfortunately, the man was carrying a Staff of Charming and nullified the spellbefore it could affect him, before wildshaping into an earth elemental andproceeding to do his best to squash us. It wasn’t until Zareem and Zuradarmanaged to capture one of the “wolves” who turned out to be another druid thatthe man relented, changing back and calling off his friends. He admitted hisactions were hasty and together we traveled back to Jonah’s store with thestolen weapons, where it was revealed that the weapons were a special orderfrom the druid himself, Edan. In return for the weapons, Edan financed someupgrades for our group through the organization he works for (including a sweetring for Jemima which changes her vicious mockery from a d4 to a d6.)

The next day saw Edan taking us to an open air market on thedocks to shop around for supplies, before taking us to a tavern and treating usto lunch. (It was a pretty low-key session though there was a lot ofnon-story-important horseplay.) At the tavern we ran into the druids we’dfought the day before as well as a familiar face: Hanzi, the Kobold with thewooden limbs. While we ate, Edan mentioned that the druids, Hanzi and himselfwere all from Faerun originally and offered to let us join the organizationthey were working with when they went back to their base at the end of themonth. Shortly afterwards (after Jemima spent some time performing for thetavern patrons) Edan left the tavern, citing a “call” from his celestial parent(which Jemima immediately recognized, due to her own bardic master having beenan Aasimar as well.) Before they could pursue, the party was given a quest toinvestigate something in the tavern’s cellar, which turned out to be a wholeton of giant spiders (and a lot of screaming from Jemima) as well as a mimicwhich had taken the place of a box intended for Jonah.

As we returned to Jonah’s shop with his shipment, a heavystorm had started rolling in off the ocean, and after checking in with Jonah(and asking him if anyone would have been trying to kill him by sending him amimic) we headed out to the courtyard to find Edan standing by a scorched areawhere several lightning strikes had taken place. One of the lightning strikesleft behind a glowing orb that turned into a box which he quickly pocketed andrefused to tell us what it was, but we learned some troubling information aboutthe how though the portal we’d come through was a common occurrence, somethinghad interfered with it and kept his organization from closing it on time. Afterthings nearly came to blows between him, Zareem, Zuradar and Gineye, we allheaded off to prepare for whatever the next day would bring and eventuallysleep.

The next day was stormy again, but we set out with Edan anda few others to the docks, hoping to stave off whatever horrible thing wasapproaching the town from the portal in the ocean. Almost immediately, Edanflew off towards a monster out in the ocean, leaving us to deal with a largenumber of minor water elementals who did a good deal of damage before welearned we could destroy them by damaging the summoning circles they came from.Meanwhile, Gineye (with his Special Eyes) noticed “Bob” and several cloakedfigures watching the proceedings from the air nearby. As we defeated theelementals, a massive bolt of lighting shot from the storm over the ocean,right into the monster Edan was fighting, killing it and throwing Edan’slifeless body onto the docks nearby. Jemima tried in vain to use Healing Wordto revive him, only to be shut down by someone sending her a clear mentalmessage that she was wasting her time. Soon afterwards we found ourselvesfacing the same Wizard we’d been sent to find, who had merged himself with thewater weird. The battle was short and fairly one-sided as we all charged himbefore he could do much, eventually leading him to attack Lei one-on-one.Nobody’s entirely sure what happened but the wizard disappeared and Lei learnedhe could shoot a beam of radiant energy from his mouth.

That concluded, the realization of what happened to Edan hithome as a few of us tried to go over to him, only to be stopped by two of thecloaked figures Gineye had seen. One, a massive bugbear went to solemnlycollect the body, while the other (a skeletal form we couldn’t see well) tooksome glowing orb from Edan’s head before leaving. We’d managed to save thecity, but we’d lost a friend in the process. The next week was spent helpingthe city rebuild from the attack, though for Jemima it was a week of privatemourning and a grim realization that the fairy tale heroics she’d dreamed ofwere only a fantasy in the face of harsh reality. Then, we were called in toJonah’s again, only to find “Bob” sitting there, along with a large box and thedruids we’d met earlier. He gave us a mission we couldn’t really reject—travelwith Jonah and the druids to take the mysterious box to a town calledSylvenstand, checking in with a few towns along the way. When asked why hechose our group to do this, he admitted that we’d been specially requested, orrather Jemima had been requested for this job and it followed that everyoneelse would come too. In addition, Jemima was given three gifts—the owl-headedStaff of Charming that Edan had used, his bag of holding, and Bob’s holy symbolon her wrist as a sign of protection. And so, the group set off cross-countryto Sylvenstand in an enchanted cart with a box they weren’t allowed to touch(or let anyone else touch either, save for one contact they were told to meet.)

Their first destination was Flatol, where they were sent toinvestigate some reports of some strange goings on. This lead the party toinvestigate a crypt, one decorated with symbols and writing praising Orcus, andinside we found the necromancer that we’d been sent to find who almostimmediately trapped us into seeing our worst fears, but before anyone couldreally dwell on them, the Necromancer himself was murdered by the thingconjured up by Hanzi’s fear: a terrifying shadowy cleric. The battle thatensued was brutal, with us trying to defend against the cleric’s powerfulattacks or healing each other as best we could, but in the end the nightmarecleric was defeated. However, the cost of fighting him turned out to be Lei’slife, for the killing blow on the cleric sent our unconscious paladin into hisfinal death saves (Thanks, Zareem for not moving your Shatter spell somewhereelse.) However, instead of outright dying, a glow surrounded him, bringing himback but without his hard shell and with a much longer tail. The coins we’dreceived from “Bob” on our first meeting with him had each bonded with one ofus and this was the first time they’d revealed their powers: saving the bearerfrom death but bringing them back with a change or two.

We ushered our now semi-naked Tortle back to the cart andprepared to move on (though not until after a horrifying lunch in which ourTiefling nearly petrified several people with some of the dishes he’d made and did actually petrify himself for a shorttime.) Then, we moved on to Glens, the next town on our journey. TheNecromancer we’d run into had gone to Flatol from Glens and we were informedthat another necromancer had been in town as well, along with a frighteningbounty hunter who was hunting him down. Our search for clues turned up little,but as we all went to meet up in the town square, a huge hulking barbarianleaped down into our midst, wielding a massive axe. We weren’t much of a matchfor him, until Lei managed to grapple him, giving Gineye a chance to use a boltof petrification he’d picked up earlier. The Barbarian failed his save hard,turning to stone before our eyes, but as Gineye removed his hood, a familiarface stared back—Edan’s, thoughframed by dark hair instead of blond. Needless to say, Jemima didn’t take itwell, and we carefully moved the petrified man back to the cart to be restored.Before we left, however, the axe the barbarian had been using decided to attachitself to Gineye, revealing itself to be not only cursed but sentient as well.

A cleric who was currently traveling with us managed torestore the barbarian, and a conversation later revealed that he was not, infact, Edan. He introduced himself as Ivan the Lucky, a bounty hunter who hadbeen chasing down the necromancers we had run into, and he’d been working longenough to have a solid reputation, so the chances of him being Edan withamnesia or something was extremely low. However, we couldn’t let him leave asone of the jobs in our contracts was to investigate the grisly murders in Glensand there was a good likelihood he was involved somehow. So, with Ivan in towwe headed off to the next town, Crance, which was currently embroiled in arebellion of some kind. However, we had to stop there to meet up with acontact, and since we weren’t given a description of the contact we had tocross our fingers and hope we found him. A couple of men in a tavern claimed tobe the people we were looking for and agreed to come back to the wagon inexchange for some help with a situation they were in. It was only after givingthem the information we had and letting them inspect the box (which thankfullythey didn’t tamper with) that we found out they were not, in fact, our contact,but a mysterious half-orc in town might be. They were with the resistanceagainst the tyrannical government in the area and they directed us to a guardshack where the half-orc and some of their own people were being held.

Our group headed over there and found the guards to besurprisingly easy to defeat, and in the cells were a group of heavily injuredresistance fighters and one massive, angry owlbear. The half-orc however wasnowhere to be seen, until we headed to a room in the back. There, we found himstanding over the corpse of the head guard, pulling a knife out of thestill-warm body. The distinctive red teardrop tattoo on his face marked him asthe person we were searching for, since it matched the mark Jemima had receivedfrom “Bob” at the start of our quest. The half-orc, Grug, followed us back tothe cart to properly inspect the box and pay us for the tasks we’d alreadycompleted, but took an immediate dislike to the currently sleeping Ivan. Heexplained that Ivan was Edan’s Alternate—somewhat but not quite the same personborn in another dimension, though many differences in environment and home lifecan lead to wildly different characteristics, jobs and lives. He then warned usto keep Ivan away from the box, stating that it was dangerous to have himaround when Edan was in such a “weakened state.” Yet again, Jemima freaked out,demanding to know what he meant by that before Zareem completely stopped theconversation by boasting about how Bob approved of him b/c Zareem had managedto hit him. In a fit of rage, Grug dragged Ivan’s sleeping body away andunleashed a bunch of monsters on us, since pissing off a paladin by boastingthat you’d hit his god is probably the worst idea ever.

Once the monsters were defeated we raced outside after Grugand Ivan, finding Ivan yet again possessed by Gineye’s axe as he’d been thefirst time we fought him. After getting the axe back from Ivan (which sent thelarge barbarian back to sleep) we turned our attention to Grug and the animatedswords he was currently attacking our cart with. A few near deaths later, ourfight was interrupted by Grug vanishing and “Bob” appearing in his place,demanding to know what was going on. Thankfully we were in our rights to defendourselves and “Bob” admitted that Grug was overzealous and a huge problem forhim, but he was obligated to keep the half-orc around due to Grug’s familyconnections. Still, Bob fixed our wagon for us and decided to travel with us toSylvenstand, stating that he couldn’t just teleport there due to the nature ofthe place. A few days of travel later, we reached the woods surroundingSylvenstand, a dark frightening forest that seemed to twist and move around,confusing travelers who dared venture into it.

Which is when we ran into the dinosaurs. About halfway intothe forest we were stopped by a dead end and a voice demanding to know why wewere there. When we explained our mission, the voice told us we could only passafter it had “tested our mettle” upon which an allosaurus and a swarm ofdeinonychus showed up. The battle was surprisingly long, made worse by thearrows being shot from an unknown source deep in the woods. However, thedinosaurs eventually backed down, but not until after Jemima heard a veryfamiliar male voice saying the phrase “You can do better” before their woundswere healed. The fight over, we trooped back inside the cart, following theAllosaurus (named Sharp) to the secret town of Sylvenstand.

When we arrived, Jonah took the mysterious box away, whileour group accompanied by “Bob” went to a building built into the massive treein the center of town. Before we could turn in our quest, we checked in with aman at the front desk by the name of Eldon. It was he who finally explainedwhat exactly it was we had been transporting all this time—Edan’s body,magically preserved and warded to prevent decay so that a reviving ritual couldbe performed once his soul was reclaimed. Then, we were ushered upstairs intothe massive tree to an enormous room where a humanoid figure seemingly made ofwood or possibly completely encased in wooden armor sat. Seeing as it wastechnically her quest, Jemima was chosen to speak for the party, turning in theletter they were sent with as well as being given a bag of coin to be dividedamongst the team later. Lei’s divine sense however, picked up the massive amounts of divine energy comingfrom the figure in front of them, as well as noticing the oak leaf symbol onthe man’s chest. Though the contract said we’d been sent to report in to a mannamed Tay’rados, there was little question that the true originator of thequest was none other than Silvanus, the god of nature and druids himself.

After some impromptu shopping at a small bazaar in town, weheaded off to the temple district to meet with one Captain Taylor who wassupposed to be able to help Zareem with a mysterious mark he bore on his chest.Captain Taylor agreed to help on the condition that we spar with him, anexperience none of us were quite prepared for, as he turned out to be anextremely high-level paladin who was pulling his punches. Midway through thefight, having taken a decent amount of damage, Taylor grabbed Jemima beforereaching an arm into her bag of holding, coming up with a purple coin that she’dnever seen before (she’d been getting small trinkets including a bag of dragonbone from Edan’s bag over time, but never seen that coin in all her searching.)Again, Edan’s voice chimed in with the phrase “You can do better” as Taylor’swounds began to heal. In an almost uncharacteristic display of kindness, Zareemhelped her get the coin back and to keep Taylor from taking it again, Jemimadropped it down the front of her shirt with a glare. Then, taking the staff ofcharming she’d inherited from Edan, she stormed over and slapped him deadbetween the eyes, shouting at him “How dareyou touch my things?” only for Taylor to shout back “How dare you take mybrother’s things?” When the fight finally ended, she confronted him about thosewords, discovering that Taylor (who is, in fact, the real Tay’rados and thenext in line to take over for Silvanus) wasn’t kidding about Edan being hisbrother, and the coin he’d taken was an Ioun stone that Edan had obtainedduring one of his many travels. The voice she’d been hearing was simply theHealing Word spell he’d kept inside it being activated.

After our sparring match ended, Tay invited us to join himat the local tavern for drinks to celebrate Edan’s approaching revival, thoughnot before we returned to the large tree building to answer a few questionsabout the wizard we’d fought back in Audio Bay. That was where, after the armorthe wizard had worn attached itself to Lei, that the wizard hadn’t justdisappeared that day, he’d been stowing along in Lei’s brain the whole timewithout anyone knowing. He hasn’t shown his hand yet, but the eventual effectsof this are unknown. Then we trooped off to the tavern, Lei and Zareemintending to party and have a good time, Zuradar and Gineye picking a fightwith a time-manipulating satyr who’d magic’d away some of our gear earlier (wegot it back thankfully) and Jemima meeting a nice man who gave her a book oncreating a Guard Drake from dragonscale (which she conveniently had thanks tothe bag of bones and scales in Edan’s bag of holding.) The party lasted allnight, though most were passed out before it got too late, particularly Zuradarwho was the first out after he failed to seduce an elf lady two times in a rowand left to drink until he couldn’t remember anything.

The next few days were less eventful, mostly everyone havinga bit of downtime and resting up, preparing for the next phase of the revivaloperation: retrieving Edan’s soul from wherever it had ended up. The owlbearthat we’d encountered in Crance had been put into a crystal by Grug fortransport, and thanks to Eldon, it was healed (though it had to be magicallyde-aged to save it) and given to Zuradar as a companion under the name Pip.When the time came for the expedition to set out, Jemima made sure our team wasinvited, since she desperately wanted to be able to save Edan. The expeditionwould leave Sylvenstand through a portal that had been set up over the last fewdays, though the endpoint was unknown until the portal was actually opened,bringing with it a group of dimensional “police” who wanted to know why we hadopened a portal onto a plane known as “Lunacy.” Tay seemed visibly distressedat the mention of that location, but in the end we were permitted to pass,providing he didn’t come with us (astipulation he didn’t challenge at all.) Armed with a glass jar with a locatingspell cast on it, we headed off into Lunacy.

The jar lead us through marshy woods until we came upon ascene of grisly carnage. Two hags had been torn apart along with a shambling moundor two, and as we approached we saw the one who had caused such destruction: acreature seemingly formed of wood with a featureless wooden mask. Immediatelythe jar Jemima was holding began to glow and vibrate, but just as quickly thecreature melted away into the ground, causing the jar to go dark again. Afterwe were set upon by another hag (and discovered that the damaged Weave on thisplane made casting spells a risky chance that often triggered wild magic tohappen) we continued on, the trail having been picked up again by the jar.After some walking we came upon a small tavern, the inside of which was emptysave for a lone barkeep in fancy eveningwear. He offered to give us informationor magic trinkets, and explained that the creature we had encountered, the“Beastmaster” was keeping him trapped. Our whole party was sure it was a trap,with the notable exception of Zareem, who made an agreement to smuggle a blackshard out of the plane in exchange for a magic sword and an axe.

Thoroughly disgusted at our companion, we continued on untilwe came to another clearing. As Zareem dashed across the grass towards a gate,the ground turned into more shambling mounds which proceeded to attack theparty. Midway through the fight, a large bear with a wooden mask lumbered in,attacking the mounds with us. However, once the mounds were destroyed, the bearturned towards us instead. Jemima had already put together that the jarresponding to both the Beastmaster (whose mask looked shockingly likeSilvanus’s) and the Bear (one of Edan’s common wildshape forms) were somehowconnected to Edan’s soul and she was reluctant to fight until being remindedthat druids change back from their wildshape forms after losing all their HP.When the bear finally fell, it morphed back into Edan, before dissolving intodust with a cry of distress, causing part of the jar to light up. This spurredthe party forward, towards the next location. There they ran across Eldonagain, who had followed them into the plane. He was badly wounded butsurrounded by corpses, including one giant spider wearing a wooden mask.Another piece of the jar lit up as Jemima approached it.

Then, Gineye managed to spot something across a nearbylake—on an island in the center, strapped to a cross-like structure, was Edan,or at least his soul. Coming from his body were five tendrils, two of whichwere rapidly dissolving. Using the teleportation that he had gotten from a wildmagic surge, Gineye teleported over to the island and summoned his axe, usingthe soul-collecting power of the axe to free Edan by having him slice off thetendrils. Edan’s soul disappeared, along with the fragments in the jar and theBeastmaster across the lake, but as soon as he’d done that, a massive shapeappeared in the distance. Sensing danger, Gineye returned, driving us all torun with Eldon in tow, back to the portal we’d come through.

The giant creature, which revealed itself to be a Terrasque,chased us all the way to the portal, eventually parking itself right on theother side of the portal but very much within striking range should we try toescape. Then, it revealed itself to be the same person Zareem had made a dealwith--the one who had marked him with the symbol of Vecna—itself an old andpowerful Primordial. It offered to let us pass as long as we kept the guardsbusy enough for it to escape, since the plane was rapidly dissolving around usas the weave unraveled. We agreed, while secretly planning to alert the guardsonce we were through, and escaped through the portal. The dimensional “police”were on hand to help, and drove back the massive claw that came through, butdespite our efforts, a tiny portion of the creature broke off and disappeared.Still, we had what we had journeyed for and after relinquishing the axe to Silvanus,so that he could extract the soul, we nervously awaited the revival itself. Wewere graciously allowed to be present for it, and the process went surprisinglysmoothly for all the trouble we put in. Upon waking up, groggy and disoriented,Edan asked for his bag which Jemima unquestioningly returned. However, insteadof keeping it, he simply took out the wooden box from the month prior andopened it, revealing a deactivated Void card from the Deck of Many Things. Witha glare he turned to Silvanus, telling his father to try harder the next timehe wanted to kill him before storming out of the room (just in time for Gineyeto return from searching the town for a saxophone in order to serenade Jemima’sreunion with the man she was clearly crushing on.) Gineye’s return lead to anembarrassment-fueled brawl, culminating with the party members involved (sansZuradar and Zareem who had left to talk to Jonah again) waking up the next dayin the infirmary.

When the party reunited in the tavern the next day theyfound out about a list of jobs open to them, now that they had been acceptedinto Mantle, the organization based in Sylvenstand. The party was very excitedover an upcoming tournament (though Jemima had her eyes more on the Bardcollege which nobody even looked at twice) but Gineye demanded they go to thecapitol city Paplus first, upon seeing not only the capture of the resistanceleader they’d encountered in Crance, but also a name he recognized—Lord Darius,a man he’d known before we first met up who seemed to be somehow connected tothe scars Gineye hides under a porcelain mask. As we geared up to go, we askedEdan if he wanted to come along, which he agreed to do, as he wanted to get asfar away from Sylvenstand and his family as possible.

The furthest we could travel by portal was to Paplus’sneighboring town StoneHelm, a two day’s walk from Paplus. Once the journey byportal was completed, Edan took his leave, stating he would be taking the jobat the Bards college there, though the party (save for a heartbroken Jemima)were too busy making plans for marching order and cooking arrangements to evennotice. A days walk later, they set up camp, dividing the nighttime watch intoshifts. During the second shift, after Jemima had bedded down for the night atthe end of her watch, a group of drow appeared, demanding Zuradar tell them thename of the halfling in the nearby bedroll, and at her last name ofAppleblossom the drow attacked, easily subduing the sleepy party and cartingthem off.

We awoke in darkness, with our arms and legs bound, with theexception of Zuradar who had been inadvertently untied by his owlbear Pip, andZareem who instead found himself in a nice room as if he’d been invited as aguest instead of kidnapped. It wasn’t long before the drow returned, removingtheir blindfolds and walking them out of their cells to a large central roomwhere they saw Jemima trussed up and suspended over a fire, and a hooded man atthe end of the room. The man demanded Gineye be brought forward and demandedhim to take off his mask or risk Jemima’s life. Grudgingly, Gineye complied andthe man removed his own hood, revealing the face of a man Gineye had worked withbefore during a similar rebellion back in Faerun, Tiberius. Like many of the peoplethey’d met, Tai had found his way to this world as well and joined the currentrebellion due to his own curiosity at how similar it was to the one in theirown world, even down to the blonde lady behaving shockingly like Gineye himselfhad done. A betrayal from within their ranks had gotten her caught by LordDarius’s forces, and the traitor in question happened to be the reason theywere captured in the first place—they were searching for a young halfling manwith the last name of Appleblossom who was known to use polymorph spells withthe aid of an enchanted broom. Alternates again, the party realized as theygrouped back up.

As we had found our way not only to Paplus but the rebellionwe were supposed to aid, we found ourselves tasked with helping them take downsome high-priority targets. Namely, we were sent to investigate a guard house(since trying to talk a gnomish inventor into helping us without copiousviolence was sadly not anywhere close to our forte.) Inside we found no guardsat all, but instead a massive iron golem guarding the place which we wereforced to fight after the attempts to bluff our way past it failed. With sometricky maneuvering (and a hand grenade), Gineye managed to deactivate the golemand we entered the captain’s office. Our suspicions were on high alert when theguard captain’s voice didn’t quite seem to match his body, but before theErinyes possessing him could do anything, Gineye petrified the captain with acrossbow bolt, then shattered the resulting stone form to prevent the Erinyesdoing more harm.

By the time we returned, the other team had safely securedthe inventor who was currently very clearly possessed himself. After a gooddeal of fooling around and failed attempts at exorcism using the Command spell,Lei realized that as a paladin, he could perform the exorcism himself. With theinventor finally free of possession, he demanded we shut down the factory thathad been making the golems and mechanical enforcers for Lord Darius, butinsisted that we not harm Darius when the time comes for he was in fact, a goodman. The revelation that the revenge Gineye sought would be deflected by yetanother Alternate did not go over well.

So, we set off towards the golem factory with Gineye leadingthe charge, revenge still smoldering behind his mask. When we arrived, thefactory seemed deserted, but when the guard dogs that came out of a few nearbykennels turned into hellhounds, and an ice devil dropped in from above, werealized we were in trouble. The battle, though brief, was tough, painful andlikely made worse by the absence of help from Zareem (who spent all of his timeattempting to get one of the hellhounds to trust him in an attempt to keep it.)Meanwhile, the ice devil managed to get inside the mental world Gineye used toconverse with the spirit of his axe and begin to corrupt it, leading to Gineyebeing unable to get back in. In a desperate bid to regain control, he demandedLei kill him, hoping that the soul trapping powers of the axe would give him aback door and a chance to find “Axey” again before his coin revived him. With aheavy heart, Lei and Zuradar complied, using their own weapons to kill theircompanion.

Gineye fell, then disappeared, reappearing shortly afterwardsacross the room, but something was very much different. Instead of the cheerymask he wore, there was a more sinister one with a jagged smile and a sinisterred glow from his eyes. As it had several times before, the axe had taken overGineye’s unconscious body, puppeteering it into using all of its abilities toattack his friends. Hoping to somehow break its control, Lei, Jemima andZuradar threw themselves into combat while Zareem continued to ignore the fightand attempted to gain favor with the hellhound in the corner. Even aftercalling for help, Zareem didn’t join the fight, stopping only to retrieve anice spear that had fallen from the ice devil’s body and throwing it into a furnace,completing the job of destroying the factory that they had been given.

Meanwhile, inside his head, Gineye was locked in a battlewith a being that resembled a corrupted version of the mostly benevolent spirtwho had helped him for the last several weeks. Assuming (probably correctly,though no confirmation has been given on this point) that this was in fact thepower source of the axe, built from the many slaughtered souls trapped insideit, and having corrupted the actual “Axey,” he sought to free her from thecorruption. A few times her consciousness seemed to flicker, as if his attemptswere getting through, but he was running out of ideas. In one last desperate move,he pulled her into a hug, and when that didn’t work, he used the power of theaxe to summon two spears, stabbing them both through her back and into his ownchest, aiming for the coin around his heart.

Back in the real world, the spear tips manifested out ofGineye’s body before they and he vanished again, leaving only the axe behind.The party barricaded the factory and then rested, worried about their friendbut too battered and tired to leave (save Zareem who had done basically nothingthe whole fight.) As they were ending their rest, a figure began to crawl outof the axe nearby, eventually solidifying into Gineye, though mysteriouslywearing the dress his spirit friend had worn. Naturally the team had questionsbut Gineye was evasive and wanted to move on, stopping only to shoo Jemima awayafter noticing that her poking his leg was causing no sensation of touch.

Their mission complete and their party gathered, theyventured forth to return to the rebellion’s hideout, only to find the doorwelded shut and a trail of blood leading them towards the other door and an unconsciousTai. Thankfully his injuries were minimal, but Tai’s story was grim: during thetime they were away, the hideout had been attacked by the robotic enforcersthat Lord Darius was using, but during that time they had made contact with adivination wizard by the name of Monty who was also a transplant from Faerun,one willing to aid them in their cause. Monty had given them a tip, telling thatthe leader of the rebellion was going to be publicly executed the next day, whichhappened to be only hours away now. Together they went to the town square, nowfitted with a gallows and a horde of people gathered to watch the execution.

Something was very much off, however, as the party hid amongthe crowd, waiting for their chance to strike. The man introduced as LordDarius was a far cry older than the man Gineye had known, and something feltvery wrong about the whole scenario. Those feelings were proven right whenGineye was attacked by one of the masked enforcers and the cloak was knockedoff of the “prisoner,” revealing yet another masked enforcer. The crowd ran asour heroes found themselves surrounded by more of the metallic men. Having dispatchedhis own attacker, Gineye used his axe to create a rope and swung over to thebox with the elderly Lord Darius, soon after followed by Lei using his ownmisty step ability to teleport over.

Inside the box, while the old man may have been recognizedas Lord Darius to the crowd, behind him, hidden from the audience, sat a muchyounger man with a stony expression on his face. The same Lord Darius who hadscarred Gineye’s face. Gineye readied one of the many small powder keg grenadeshe owned, but before he could exact his revenge, the two figures flanking theyounger Darius revealed themselves—one, an arch devil and the other, a demonlord. The demon quickly whisked Darius away, while the arch devil took off intothe city, leaving a swath of destruction in his wake. Before long, our heroesfound themselves in the midst of a holy war, with hordes of demonic forcespreviously hidden in the town, rising up to fight an onslaught of paladins, clerics,and other warriors blessed by divine forces.

Flanked by Zuradar, Gineye ran after the arch devil that hadfled from the observation box, but quickly ran into a group of paladins andclerics who were also pursing the same target. Two of the group, marked by thesymbol of the Raven Queen, immediately took offense at Gineye’s existence, callinghim a “filthy undead” as one attempted to smite him with a lightning bolt. AsGineye protested the inhumane treatment (while the gaping hole in his chestproved their accusations correct) a paladin marked with the symbol of “Bob,”the god of slaughter they had met previous, came over and uppercut the one who castthe lightning bolt (said storm cleric looking shockingly like Zareem.) Thepaladin of Bob revealed soon himself to be in fact Grug, released from thepunishment he had been given by Bob, who urged them to leave before somethingworse happened.

The older Lord had been retrieved from the observation boxby the time Gineye and Zareem returned, but as they returned so did the archdevilwho Gineye had failed to catch before. Introducing himself as Bael, he demandedthe old man be turned over. The party refused, attempting to stop him throughcombat, but their efforts proved futile as he simply walked over and took whathe wanted, before disappearing. Through the use of a haste spell and his own paladinskills, Lei was able to track Bael’s movement back to the Lord’s castle, but itwas decided that the party should rest before continuing on. After a short rest(in which Jemima hounded Gineye for a while in regards to his new undeadstatus, one he couldn’t really deny when the gaping hole in his chest magicallypatched itself up) they trooped off to the castle, preparing for a confrontation.

Lord Darius was inside when they entered, Gineye fullyprepared to take him down one-on-one, were it not for the young noble killinghis older counterpart in front of the bard. Remembering the request from thegnome earlier, Gineye used a new spell, revivify, to revive him before whiskingthe old man outside to protect him. Then, as he returned, finally ready for hisrevenge, that moment was stolen from him as a dark shape appeared behind theyoung Darius, taunting the party before snapping his neck and summoning shadowsto attack our heroes. After having fought them once thanks to Grug, the partyknew how to deal with these shadows and the fight was brief, but by the timethey finished the shadowy creature had left, leaving behind the empty husk thatwas once Gineye’s most hated foe.

Gineye was all set to use his magic to revive or preservethe body, but the arrival of a man through a dimensional door stopped him. Itwas Monty, the diviner they’d been told about, who was more than happy to usehis magic to prove that even if Gineye preserved the body, there was no soulleft to revive him. However, Monty was able to speed them along on their waytowards finding the rebellion’s missing leader, as he directed them towards a dungeonarea that his scrying couldn’t see into—which must be the place as he couldfind her nowhere else.

Inside the dungeon lay a maze of traps, pitfalls andsentient doors who kept their rooms locked with riddles. Inside the very last doorin the maze was a set of stairs leading down to a large room, where a strange,sinister ritual was taking place. A number of cultists surrounded summoning circles,two of whom were wreathed in flame, the one in the middle conjuring up a domeof solid darkness. As stealthily as they could, the party slid closer, Gineyemanaging to make it all the way to a door on one side of the room where he cameacross a terrifying sight: the same exact cell in which he had been tortured.

Unleashing the full power of the axe, he demolished the cultistsin a single hail of swords, which left the summoned fire elementals free toattack at will. Again, the fight was short, the most notable event was Jemimadoing her best to attack one of the elementals with the rapier she’d beencarrying all this time—while forgetting that without magical properties to it,the enchanted fire could easily melt it. Rest in peace, rapier, you were loved.Once the fires died down (literally) the team set about investigating the roomand the dome of darkness in the center of the room. Sadly, efforts to dispel itproved fruitless so the party turned their attention towards a mural on thewall, one depicting a multi-segmented circle, each with a crowned creature carvedinside. After close inspection—including noticing that one segment seemed todepict the same tarrasque they had unleashed upon the world previously—the partyguessed the mural was related somehow to the cult they had encountered, worshippingprimordials from the different planes (each of the elementals seemed to bedepicted, along with ones that looked celestial and infernal.) Finally, theygave one last attempt to dispel the dome, finally breaking the spell with awell-placed arrow, but instead of finding the leader inside as they’d hoped,all they saw was a shadowy creature who disappeared in seconds, followed by hermagical cloak which Zareem kept for himself.

As they went to leave, who should they run into but Grug andthe same paladins and clerics from before? Gineye, remembering their reaction tohim, attempted to hide in the stairwell, but the storm cleric (who still lookedshockingly like Zareem) detected him with his own divine sense. As the partyrushed to protect him, Zareem himself squared up, drawing his sword anddemanding that the paladin face him instead. It only took one single mightyblow from the paladin’s mace to instantly kill the already injured Zareem. Therepresentatives of the Raven Queen left, telling the group to keep “theirundead” on a leash, as everyone tried to figure out what to do now. It was thenGineye posed an idea: someone should let him borrow a 3rd levelspell slot. His words were cryptic, but nobody had any third level slots leftafter the long day they’d had, so Gineye lowered it to a second level slot. TentativelyJemima offered him one of her second level slots, and Gineye in responseplunged his hand into his own heart, pulling out an axe and handing it to her,fading into the axe as his mask appeared on her face. From inside her mind, heused her body and magic to cast a spell to preserve Zareem’s body, before the groupset about a much longer rest.

About halfway through their rest, Zareem revived, his coinhaving activated—giving him permanent wings and a new set of powers. Gineye leftJemima’s mind and reformed in the physical world, and after a bit of foolingaround with him trying to mind-hop into Pip the owlbear’s mind that ended withGineye accidentally killing (and immediately reviving) the poor creature, the teamdecided it was time to move on. The war had died down across Paplus, and theirmission was over though at great cost. After delivering the news of the outcometo Tai, the team set off in search of a Gnoll paladin of Silvanus who they weretold had a scroll for them

What they found instead was a mysterious bar—the same barthey had encountered in Lunacy, still run by the extremely shady feeling manwho just so happened to sometimes be the primordial of Earth. Zareem andZuradar both asked to see what goods he was peddling today, leading to Zareemgaining a +1 chain shirt and Zuradar acquiring himself a +2 bow (for only twoof his hit dice, a total “bargain!”). Meanwhile, Jemima found the gnoll seatedat a table and retrieved the scroll from him. The man let them leave afterthat, noticing how uncomfortable the other three were, but with a reminder thatthey could find him if they only looked for him.

Outside the shady bar (which had mysteriously vanishedagain) they discovered that the scroll was a teleportation sigil, but one thatthey weren’t capable of activating. One person however, was, and it took only asingle utterance of Monty’s name for him to appear through a tear in reality,casting the spell that would take them off to the tournament.

After the chaos of a holy war and a rebellion all in thespan of less than a week, the gang was happy to have a chance to settle down andrelax. Once in the tournament building, they had to sign up, either in solo matchesor groups of 2, which lead to Zareem and Zuradar becoming a group (fittinglynamed Heaven and Hell), Lei and Jemima teaming up (as Swords and Chords) andGineye going solo (under the name “The Entirety of France.”) Then, with an hourto prepare, the teams wandered the building, discovering their old friend Jonahhaving set up a merchants stall there. Jemima immediately informed him of theloss of her rapier, relinquishing the melted remains. In return, he gave her asword he’d fashioned from some of the dragon bones she’d given him, a rapierelegantly combining master swordcraft with the sublime beauty of the naturalworld.

Geared up once more, the matches began. Zareem and Zuradarfound themselves heavily outmatched by a pair of orcs. After Zareemaccidentally hit the younger (and far more badly damaged) of the two with acritical hit poison spray, inadvertently killing the orc, the older and moreexperienced orc proceeded to knock both of them out. Jemima and Lei’s roundwent much smoother, against a lizardfolk and a man in a strange leather dusterwho carried what could only be referred to as guns. Despite the strange man’sapparent prowess with his weapons, he managed to score only one hit on Jemimabefore he was knocked unconscious himself, and the Lizardfolk surrendered soonafter.

Gineye’s match however was stranger still. His opponent wasa man who seemed to disappear shortly after the match started, stayinginvisible or hiding behind dust clouds the whole match, but doing significantdamage to Gineye in the process. Finally, angered, Gineye readied a crossbowbolt, striking as soon as he saw the man’s arm clearly. The petrification boltworked perfectly, petrifying the man and winning Gineye the match (though notbefore a contingency spell activated, using lesser restoration on the man whograciously conceded.)

After their match concluded, Gineye left to find his friendsin the infirmary (though only Zuradar and Zareem needed much attention.) In themidst of their conversation, the man he had just fought walked in, joining thediscussion of the fights he had witnessed. He introduced himself as James and extendedan offer to Gineye to meet him for breakfast at a specific tavern the nextmorning. Tired from their battles, the group headed out to an inn to rest. Itwas agreed that Gineye should go to the tavern to meet James the next day (sincethey might be more relaxed if it was just him) while the rest would return tothe tournament location to find out what was going on. The tournament itselfwouldn’t start for two days, and the actual matches were entirely team-based,but since Lei and Jemima both had passed their matches (as well as Gineye) theywere allowed to form a team and invite the two who had failed their matches aswell.

Gineye’s investigation only put him more on edge. Jamesseemed very eager to recruit him away from the others, even offering to “helphim leave” should Gineye need it, in a way that suggested assassination wouldbe involved. He also knew more than he should, particularly about the war inPaplus and how Gineye’s party had come through a portal in Paplus that shouldhave originated north of the town of Tance, the same as another group whoarrived recently (where, unknown to James, the hidden town of Sylvenstand waslocated.) Gineye played along as best he could, mocking his teammates and theirdecisions and offering to send a package later that day that might be useful toJames’ group. However, once he returned, he clearly wasn’t eager to join such ashady group, but instead had Lei send a package over to the tavern—one containingthe Axe Gineye had pulled from his own heart yet again. However, to his dismaynobody actually took the axe while he was there and in fact nobody was home forthe full day, leaving him to sneak out the next night with a pilfered spellbookand a sour mood.

Finally however, the day of the tournament arrived. The gangwas among the first to compete, finding themselves soon in a large arena packedwith thousands of onlookers. In the middle of the arena, a Kenku introducinghimself as Veo Elmwood was acting as the Emcee, introducing first our heroes asthe “NaCl Pain Delivery Service” and their opponents as “The Hands of Nature.” Theparty (and especially Jemima) were pleased to see Edan again, along with hisalternate Ivan, the ranger Alice (whom Zuradar had attempted and failed to seduceback in Sylvenstand) and Leafsong, the Gnoll paladin from earlier.

However, instead of a fighting competition as the party hadexpected, it was instead a series of games and tests of skill, each with a “firstto 3 points” system of one-on-one matches. The actual games were chosen by diceroll, with the first being a drinking contest. Gineye stepped up, certain hecould win with his undead constitution, even against his opponent Ivan, butonce again Ivan’s luck was on his side as he came back with three points toGineye’s two. Next, Jemima found herself face-to-face with Edan in a challengeof pure luck as they rolled dice, each hoping for a higher roll than theiropponent. Right at the last moment, when it looked as though Edan would scoreanother point for his team, Jemima caught a glow around Ivan’s hand for amoment as the dice flipped over onto a natural 1. Finally, it was Lei and Leafsong’sturn, a test of endurance as they were forced to withstand increasingly harderthrown rocks without crying out in pain. In the end however, Lei managed tohold out the longest, scoring another point for our heroes. And as we left themat the end of that session, they were preparing for the next round of combat: atrial by combat, forced by Ivan again using his luck to twist the die to his favor.

And there you are, thirty episodes summarized as best Icould, with deep apologies for not being able to condense it even further. Ihope you enjoy reading it, and feel free to check out our episodes on youtube!

#d&d #dungeons and dragons #dnd #NaCl D&D #i'm so sorry about how long this took #turns out 8900 words takes several days to write #i could have been more succint i'm sure but i didn't want to miss anything #consider this a recap for anyone wanting to catch up?#again i'm sorry for the extreme length XD i'm more wordy than i think #venusvirago

9 notes · View notes

obannthepunished · 6 years

Text

im sad and angry and heres tonights notes

They're not going back to zadash straight away, Jester is just going to send a message to the Gentleman using Sending. Mid-morning.

Theyre going to blow up the trolls house. fucks sake.

theres a cluster of vines at the bottom of the trees. Fjord comes painfully close to stepping on. they roll shite

molly throws a bit of jerky in and the vines NOM HAED Molly: I love camping They can outrun it, but Jester throws bits of mouldy pastry for it anyway cause she feels bad.

Caleb is bad at directions apparently.

OOH TROLL CHIMES

Jes gives nott blessing of the trickster

they semi-circle

Nott sneaks up. troll is inside being large. they're all holding attacks/surprise round til it comes out

they cant fucking light it like idiots

this is a disaster.

they FINALLY get it lit and mage hand it into the FUCKING HOLLOW.

BOOM Matt: Can I get a pair of scissors???? (cutws the whole thing apart)

troll takes barely any damage, nott gets shrapnel'd

Initiative order Caleb Nott Molly Beau Yasha Jester Fjord

Molly's Enthrall still fails tho, charisma not my baby's strong suit

Travis: YOU SHOULD HAVE PTSD FROM THIS Marisha: HAVE YOU MET BEAU?

Spiritual weapon cracks out and hits reel hard. Toll the dead happens

VENOM SPRAY on BEAU and YASHA MUCH

Molly falls in the fucking water like a bitch.

nothing hits. they set fire to skulls.

Molly gets slashy, fjord gets bit and clawed

Caycay casts slow

Moll gets the hdywtdt

Molly does blood shit to extract poison

IT COMES BACK

THANK GOD FOR SLOW?????

shit happens they drag Fjord Cay scorching rays all three hit Nott hits too 5 dmg Nott Caleb 27

Cay gets the hdywtdt and flashbacks Beau walks him away.

Molly: "Lets not crowd the boy"

Molly + Nott find some loose change

Beau damps a sash + wipes Caleb down, gives him some alcohol.

"Don't stab humans, don't eat humans" (Kiri)

Jester is insensitive.

Jester sends Sending out

The gentleman: "Keep truckin'"

Horace is there!!! :D

Molly: (sees apothecary) Molly: OH YES >on it like flies on shit

Jester + Molly foing to sell the troll heart Taliesin is so excited

They want healing potions and drugs. mostly healing potions.

BETTER INN TIME

The innkeeper is called Uma, they have 4 rooms free Jester is mad jelly about fjord being hit on.

Nott is tryiing to steal the book and Fjord flirts with Uma to distract an d jester is jealous

Caleb: What are you reading??? Uma: A book, you fucking heathen

They try and tempt the name out of Uma and fail badly Molly manages it.

Jester sends a message to her mom, gets a love back<3

Fjord: "Can I confide in you molly" gay lol

Molly recognises the stone as the stone fjord jammed in his tum, that its very old, something that resides beyond the land, beyond the sea.

Molly charm person's fjord. and he resists it. "You coulda just asked."

Molly: May I? (reaching for falchion) Fjord: Don't take any offence but... no. (disappears it)

BR8K

They forge a valet ticket. nope. Fjord and Yasha go for the cart.

Caleb calls kiri cute <3

theyre trying to figure out what to do with kiri

theres a potion of (greater?) healing + a "potion that insulates" against something No drugs.

"i can give you fantasy viagra" basically. Taliesins face.

Molly needs smt to help him sleep, buys lavender oil and that stuff.

Caleb gets a rock.

Nott hands over the scroll of invisibility. finally. "DOES AN ARMORED BEAR SHIT IN THE WOODS"

C, about Beau: "She's probably a good egg."

"Yezo? Yeza?" was the halfling man from Nott's past. C: Names are important.

Kiri repeats the halfling man's name, and "she's probably a good egg" to the group

Beau trying to slip around Trent for caleb <3 HUPPERDOOOOOK

Caleb has 32 pockets. canon.

Caleb trying to make the transmutationy stone and slaps Jester's hand when she tries to draw a smiley

The sending spell for kiris parents fails

Fjord + Caleb take watch first night

jes + Mol night 2

Crossroad stall towny village thing

Tents with bone jewellery, general goods, etc

Bone lady is from the Zemni Fields O:

Moll buys 5 tents, a repair kit, and some canvas. 40 gold total.

Fjord is bored out of his fucking mind. "Checkin' half-orc grindr"

Fjord + Caleb havin a Moment. a gay moment.

Jes buys kiri warm clothes

4 carts heading south nothing that is a problem.

Nott, message: "Are you being kidnapped?" Kid: "No, we are just escaping our home" Nott: "Where's home?" Kid: "Nodvarat(sp)"

Caleb confirmed "fuzzy boy" thanks widomauk discord

Yasha + Beau keeping watch Beau shitty half joke flirting

Caleb + nott next night something in the grass overturned wagon. Silent image goes over, nothing happens NVM CROSSBOW BOLT Caleb wakes everyone nott gets shot

nott gets shot a Lot Molly shoot

OH SHIT one shoots molly the other sees Molly and shouts "OH GOD STOP STOP STOP"

thick green cloth masks.

Molly: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa."

oh its not a lucien thing its a mighty nein thing. "THESE ARE THE ONES THAT ASHED TREVOR"

J: You know the drill. Take off your pants, and walk away. Fails the persuasion check tho.

Molly: "I feel so bad im gonna give this motherfucker some armor"

Caleb pretends he can track him and nat20s oh god the guy pisses himself

Beau robs the one she knocked unconscious, takes his mask and pants and then knocks him back out. Fjord puts two gold in his pocket.

M: There's nothing better than waking up in the morning pantsless with flowers in your hair

Theyre gonna take the cart cover from the bandits cart

Layered city- two tiers.

Bottom part of city is industry, upper is where they go for inns. the blushing tankard tavern? mostly gnomes?

theres a lot of guns. so many guns. i got distracted by the chat spoiling some shit so now i am very nervous and edgy so thats nice.

someone catches em as a local lookin for funsies. Reesa? Risa?

N: She's NICE! Why? Let's kill her.

Caleb/Yash bonding.

Lots of inns, taverns, life, not in use atm tho. on "the shelf" Silver falls. core of where most residents live.

apartment complexes lmao

Caleb: "We're a motley group of assholes."

FIREWORKS YOOOOO Shouts, voices echoing from the shelf, steam whistles, streets suddenly come to life. its work out time mothafucka.

#Critical role #Critical Role Notes

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sophie-actualgeekqueen · 6 years

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Rough and Mumble

Alright, my First attempt at writing so eh?

When a 7ft tall woman sporting a large greatsword, whose green skin and large Tusks betray her orcish heritage, walked into the tavern known as “The Swashbuckling Scabbard” several of its human patrons suddenly found the tables they were sitting at incredibly interesting. She walked up to a table and sat down before making several hand gestures to the barkeep who simply nodded and went to work.

Not every patron was avoiding the gaze of the woman however as she scanned the room for any angry patrons or some foolish bounty hunter who might've fought today was a lucky day but instead the only eyes on her were those of a blonde man, clothes in multiple clours and eyes long and pointed, in a corner smiling at her before blushing and nervously strumming on a lute covered in ornate carvings.She looked back to her table just as the innkeeper arrives at the table with his hands full with a tray of assorted meats in one hand and a tray of cups in the over containing various kinds of alcohol. She set into the meats with her hands in total disregard to the increasing worry of the patrons as the door swung open as 3 armed men sporting the arms of the Goodleaves, the towns local halfling crime family. Two of them moved towards the bar keeping their eyes trained on the woman's table as the larger one stepped towards her.His pompous black hair and arrogant smile were about as good indicators of his assumedly noble status as his assumedly new, unused and ornate armor. “Excuse me...Sir, My name is Malvern and we’re just around looking for some fool who decided to piss off Papa Goodleaf , now I'm sure you'd know a thing or two about idiots Half-Orc so I’ll ask you first” As the man chuckled with a grin on his face as his subordinates laughed in the corner, the woman sighed to herself and looked up before turning back to her meat.The Man in the corner looked over nervously towards the woman and started mumbling to himself before standing up and moving to a slightly closer table as Malvern continued “Well look at this boys, it's not answering me maybe it doesn't even speak the common tongue, My gods, they'll let anyone into the city these days”.She continued to stare into her now empty plate of meat before starting to quickly gulp down the cups of ale and whiskey before staring up at the elven-looking man, giving an almost imperceptible nod of the head then meeting Malven’s eyes. “Alright lad first off and surprisingly I can speak common and my name is Juniper and secondly you little cockthistle I'm gonna give you till about the count of 5 to piss off and let me continue my calm evening before you starting punching yourself in the face” . The man's grin only widened at the words “ Seems I made a mistake my fellows, clearly it does speak the common and with such elegance I might add”

“5″

Malvern's smile shrank only slightly but enough for the Elven looking man at the nearby table to notice and start to strum his lute in subtle song. “You realize your threats mean nothing to us right? Now why don't you stand up and come with us and maybe the Goodleaves will kill you quickly”

“4″

The song grew slightly louder and gained in tempo. “Wait, isn't Juniper a halfling name? Wow, I'm sure its difficult for anyone to take you seriously at all huh?” The two armored men moved their hands to the shortswords at their sides, looking more nervous than they would like to admit. Juniper moved her eyes around the room before moving back on Malvern and finally settling on the Elven man whose face was just about as worried, though it seemed theirs was more directed at Juniper than the men about to brandish weaponry.

“1″

Malvern reached for his sword in a panic as his men ran forward with weapons drawn, as Juniper shifted. Her eyes turned amber, her muscles bulged, growing in size and claws emerging from her fingers, as she smiled a toothy grin showing off her tusks as well as her new sharpened teeth. The men stopped in there tracks as Juniper moved with almost unnatural speed past Malvern towards the two smaller men. before they could react their weapons were thrown to the side and they hit the floor groaning in pain. Juniper stared at Malvern before raising an eyebrow to the elven man she'd been staring at “C’mon Pepper we haven't got all bloody day”. The elven man walked forward continuing to strum their lute before as the music filled the air and Malverns ears as his body went rigid and he was frozen in place with a look of terror plain on his one confident face. The man walked up and smiled at the man as her image flickered revealing the reality of her form - that of a dark-skinned woman with almost glowing golden eyes. “How was that milady? I'm sure that was worth at least a couple gold yeah? Bards don't get paid as much as you’d hope and you scared me half to death there ,your lucky I’m such a good actor” Pepper’s nervous look was replaced by a mischievous smile at Juniper with a hand out expectingly while The Half-Orc simply shook her head ” Sorry Pep can’t do it till the deal is done. Her eyes narrowed at Malvern “ If he wants to leave with his most important organ he's gonna punch himself in the face and apologize” she unsheathed her massive greatsword and instead of pointing it at the mans head or heart as one would assume she would she instead pointed it at his trouser area while Malvern’s face filled with fear, stifling a scream. Pepper sighed and mumbled several arcane words before finishing with a strum of her lute and a flare of the golden energy now emanating from her eyes caused Malvern’s body to be released from the magical hold joining his men on the floor. suddenly his body jerked around as he stood up suddenly, clenched his fist and punched himself directly in the face again and again and again. With a satisfied look and a few gold into the Musician's hand, Juniper finished her last drink, placed two gold pieces on the table before holding out her clawed hand to Pepper” You coming, lass? we've got that guild meeting coming up and I want to at least make a small batch of pastries or else no one's gonna hear a thing is”. Her outstretched hand lingered for a moment before she realized she was still in her Half-lycan form. She withdrew her hand, focussed for a moment and groaned to her self through the pain of the reversal process- Her claws retracted, her bones ached and muscles shrank as she returned to her normal size and appearance.Pepper took a strum and Malvern fell to the ground stopping the assault on himself and running out of the bar with his underlings in tow.

This time Pepper reached out her hand towards Juniper” Always surprises me that the nice big scary ones always know how to do something cute”.Juniper raised an eyebrow “You think I'm cute Pep? Well let's see how the day goes and maybe we’ll back to this over a steak dinner” They exited the tavern into the street as they disappeared in a burst of arcane energy.

Okay so that was kinda horrible but I thought id give writing a go after playing an amazing game of dnd with a new group and feeling basically useless.

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screamingtofu · 7 years

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D&D sessions 8&9 - No pudding before bed

So, I forgot to do this last fortnight but we just finished for the weekend and I figured it was better to do them both at the same time. For everyone who couldn’t be arsed finding the previous post from a month ago, the group were sent to look into a sickness that had been affecting townsfolk. We had stumbled upon an Orc priest who seemed to be the origin of the disease and after a brief bout of murder we ended up in the main city in the kingdom to speak with the ruling council and their resident seer. We were pointed towards a ruined outpost to the north that hadn’t been visited for several years. Making our way there we found what looked like an entrance to an underground bunker and decided to make camp for the night in a nearby building.

After an uneventful rest, we make our way down into the bunker to find a bit of a corridor and a single door. After our rogue (Lerisa) did her roguey thing and confirmed there was no traps and before anything else, our Paladin ( Drackuss) tries and fails to kick down and my cleric sighs, opens the door, turns to stare at the paladin before going to close it, locking eyes with the Orc inside and trying to close the door without a word ... but the paladin stopped me and everyone bursts in to fight! We take out the first orc pretty quickly and manage to take out a second as he’s screaming for backup. While our barbarian (Merla), our Fighter (Olgum) and my Cleric (Eridol) posted up at the door as an additional 3 orcs rush us, Drackuss and Lerisa wandered off down a corridor, set off a fire trap, explore a bit of a cavern and Drackuss falls into a spike trap. After the rest of us dealt with the orcs and cleaned up the scene so it wasn’t an obvious blood bath we found what looked like a secret passage before putting the bodies to bed so it’d just look like they were sleeping and went looking for Lerisa and Drackuss. We ... may have fallen into the same fire trap as them before finding them in the cavern. Eridol puts it to the team that we should check the secret passage because it either gives us back a hint of surprise moving forward or it removed the chance of being flanked. We put it to a vote and it’s decided to go back and check on the secret tunnel. While we’re looking for the switch to open it, Drackuss rips the bookcase off the wall while Eridol looks mortified in the background. We all check out the secret passage and after Lerisa gives us the ok for no traps, we wander down to a hidden supply room with three chests. Lerisa busts one open and gets a face of poison as a result, once it’s cleared she finds a sack of gold and a sack of silver, the gold goes into the party funds and she pockets the silver for herself while no one was looking. We bust open another chest and find nothing and Olgum decides to open the last one and well ... it wasn’t really a chest. Surprise, it’s a mimic and how it’s eating our fighter. While the half of the group in the room tries to deal with that, Lerisa runs into the centre and has a darkmantle fall from the roof and starts suffocating her. After a nat 20 strength check, she rips that sucker off her head and the fight begins proper. After a few rounds, We end up with a dead mimic, a bisected dark mantle, an Olgum at 1hit point and an unconscious Lerisa and Merla. They get brought back up and we decide to take a nap in the bunk room the orcs were using. After setting up a very basic alarm and barricade it’s time for another long rest. We end the session there and pick up today, having been informed that the player for Lerisa is taking a maybe permanent hiatus while she sorts some stuff out. So, until we can get back to town I’m running my boy Eridol and Lerisa. Towards the end of our rest, the alarm goes off and we’re attacked by some orcs and kobolds. After a brief battle involving Merla using an orc like a meat puppet, skunks and explosions, we move further into the dungeon to a store room of sorts where we find a lizardfolk monk named Achuak who was on a mission from the god of murder to build a shield. A shield specifically for Olgum. A shield that had been taken when he was thrown into a barrel to rot. We burst into a throne room of sorts where everybody is waiting for us. After taking out some shit lizard kobolds, the Orog chief wanders into the fray and Lerisa gets knocked the heck out and fails 2 death saving throws. While a bugbear who was holding his action smashed a button and part of the floor opened up to a super go happy fun slide to doom which Drackuss and Eridol nearly fell into. After Olgum and Drackuss kneecapped the Orog the corpse fell down the slide and took the fancy Bhall shield with it and the bugbear gets his throat ripped out thanks to Achuak, Merla jumped down the slide once we tied a rope to her and after about 80 feet of dips, dives and corkscrews there’s a brief 20 foot drop to a totally normal bone pit the locals described as the pudding pit. We all make our way down to the bone pit to retrieve the shield and get attacked by several skeletons and a gelatinous cube which sucks Merla and Olgum in it. After they barely escaped, one of the skeletons knocks Lerisa into the cube and she goes down again. Olgum ripped her out after a round and she gets brought back from the brink for a second time in about 5 minutes. Being severely rattled, she books it back up the rope and about 40 feet back up the slide. After a few more rounds, the cube goes down and we begin picking off the skeletons with Lerisa coming back and getting the final blow. Once they’re taken down, we all gather up in a platform for a short rest and Achuak mentions the shield needs one final component, the blood of a dragon who is just ahead. Considering our last run in with a dragon ended with Eridol being a chew toy, we all stop for a drink as Drackuss pulled out some dope arse wine, after a few drinks he drunkdials our NPC guide, Core before using the one use, emergency teleport function of the sending stones we had to bring Core directly to us. Admittedly he was half naked at the time and without most of his supplies, but at least he’s here for the fun times next session.

#d&d #Eridol #Merla #Draccus #Olgum #Lerisa #the Monstars #d&d shenanagins

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shonikado · 7 years

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Warning: Contains "Shonikado Does Tabletop: Episode 6"

I waited all week for this, this was basically my experiment with doing D&D fights in a more engaging way (with mixed results, good feedback though)

First up, there's some stuff that the human barbarian went through that wasn't RP'd out, but instead I just sent the player the stuff that happened so we could get to the next session where another player would be joining in. Here's what that all was:

The barbarian and the frogs traveled onwards, reaching the mountain range between them and their destination. But a magic storm hit (those happen this time of year) and they took shelter in a cave to wait it out. She got bored waiting in the cave though and explored, and found a peaceful cult town full of blind cultists and bat-winged beholders. She didn't really care to find out what was going on, although the cultists were niced and offered her the opportunity to trade her standard eyesight for the ability to have a vague psychic sense of the whole continent. But standard eyesight is useful, so she declined

The storm passed and the party continued onwards, a day behind schedule, taking with them an old dwarf cultist who was meaning to go on a supply run later anyway. There was a tribe of orcs-and-miscellaneous that watched the group from afar but they didn't make any moves, they just scared the frogs a bit. But the mountains were left without issue, at which point the party ran into a giant who collects the toll to enter the city. They paid the toll, but the giant saw the merchant frog's amulet and was like "hey gimme that too" and it was reluctantly handed over. And then they went onwards

So then they arrived in the city, at which point the frogs and cultist departed and Ulyana went to the giant-hunters guild. There was a giant who seemed to be helping run the guild, which was confusing, and also he was a bit condescending. Anyway, Ulyana learned that the guild only accepts 100 members total and they're careful about who they pick, and the most convenient way to tell them "hey I'm a good pick" would be to win the Azure Tournament happening in a few days. So Ulyana was like "sure I'll go have fun fighting people to prove I can fight even more people" and went off.

OKAY SO THAT'S WHERE THE SESSION BEGINS

Started off introducing an elf monk, who used to be a sailor but got into boxing. He's very old. He wanted to enter the tournament so he was tasked to fight three little anima (my world's word for animated constructs, pretty much simple robots) and display his fighting prowess. He used flurry of blows or something to destroy them all in a single turn.

Later in the day, the barbarian applied, and smashed one with an axe and had her displacer beast destroy another, and then finally tore the last one apart. Which was maybe excessive but definitely displayed ability.

But since a lot of people had been applying to the tournament and they didn't want to overdo it on applicants, they were both asked if they'd be cool with partnering up, and ended up getting teamed up with each other. So a monk, a barbarian, and a displacer beast all show up to kick some butt

but first they were like "hey let's spar" which gave me an opportunity to do a silly joke regarding the arena I had prepared, and then I sat back and let two players basically drive things for me and get some character development going on. (The monk won because the barbarian forgot to rage and dodge and stuff at first and the monk is GOOD at damage-dealing.)

so at this point I introduced the system where they got double EXP for going into a fight without researching their opponents prior to the fight, the idea being "figure it out on the fly" is more challenging than "know what you're getting into". To start off, the monk went off to try and figure out who they'd be doing their tournament-entry-culling match against (there were too many applicants still so they were being pitted against each other to determine who the public-audience-getting fighters would be), and ended up finding a place where bets were being put on the fights. The person running the betting booth said it wouldn't be fair to divulge that sorta stuff to a fighter but offered to tell in exchange for a bit of gold. As it turns out, the monk is very cheap and immediately walked out of the roleplaying closet. (We went into the closet so the barbarian's player wouldn't know what went down.)

they needed 3 EXP blocks to reach level 4, 7 to reach level 5. Going in blind meant 2 blocks, going in prepared meant 1.

i gave them half a block for their spar since neither of them tried to actually kill the other

Anyway, having failed to research their opponents, they went in blind and encountered a bugbear who seemed dressed for much colder weather than was actually present, wielding a malicious-looking green longsword. The other creature was a new race they didn't learn the name of, that looked somewhere between a lobster, a cockroach, and a fish, with eight arms and totally decked out with weapons. The bugbear was super nice and said hi.

then they proceeded to curbstomp them both, meaning I never got to even show off the bugbear's special abilities and the other combatant just barely got to hint at what their moveset was

ALSO the bugbear looked at Ulyana weirdly but then decided it was probably nothing. That was before the fight. The bugbear was unconscious after the fight. So was the monk, which was fun!

Also, some extra stuff about the arena: there's some height-advantage parts of the arena, also you can only have as many potions as you have team members, also there's these clerics called the "angels" who are there to let you fight lethally because they prevent anyone from dying. The way it works is that they focus protective magic on people, and if they'd die, they instead go into a sort of near-dead state that it takes a few weeks to recover from. So they'd be out of the tournament, but not out of life in general.

anyway, the party won, the monk didn't die so he got to continue fighting (I basically explained the death rule to the barbarian in an effort to convince her to stabilize the monk since he made two death fails)

ANYWAY they went on to the next round, and the barbarian decided to investigate who the opponents were - she ended up interviewing drow twins who had been in the entry-to-actual-tournament fight against two dragonborns (the next opponents) and lost. They explained one was a paladin with healy stuff, and the other was a warlock with spooky spells. The barbarian nodded and half-understood and then left.

when they got to the arena the next day I introduced the fact that the grass in the arena has flowers planted in it to make mosaic ads, the first of which was "Rope! You Can Never Have Enough" which was a reference to a character I made for a campaign that never really happened, in which my char owned I think several miles worth of rope because we were given a lot of starting money and I didn't know what to spend it on.

anyway so the fight happened, the paladin proved to be ridiculously hard to kill, and also made it very hard to target the warlock because of two tiers of protective stuff going on. So the paladin got downed, then was revived by the warlock's potion, then the paladin was downed again and the warlock revived her with her own potion, and then she was downed a third time and the monk was very mad about the whole thing and curbstomped her face. Seeing defeat was already gonna happen, and not wanting her to get dead'd or himself to get curbstomped, the warlock surrendered and the party won.

also the warlock cast a spell that had a bunch of grabby tentacles that was supposed to do damage but when the drow twins were explaining it they were like "oh but it doesn't do damage it just grabs you" SO WHOOPS I FORGOT. WHOOPS. WHOOPS. I don't think it would have been more fun if it did do damage though, maybe just more frustrating

anyway the party was like yaaay we won and then they leveled up and it was too late to move on to the final 8 fighters (so 3 more fights, although the final fight is gonna be a bit weird) so the session was ended, more like paused but basically ended.

~DING~ SO WHAT WENT WRONG

missing happens a lot and it's frustrating for the players. Also I didn't really get to show off what made most of the fighters cool because they immediately got pummeled by the rush-and-deal-all-the-damage team.

My current ideas are this: since everyone begins at the same time, the first round of combat lacks any movement, and is just what you do IMMEDIATELY as the fight begins. This means my enemy characters can set up any fancy interesting fun fight-changing stuff that they've got (for instance, the warlock had a weird spell that would deal a lot of damage but required casting it/some prep time, and the paladin was gonna defend him while that happened, but then the party rushed up and immediately attacked so he was like "I'm getting out of here" which was not the best tactical decision maybe. There are things I could do differently.)

My second idea is that, if you miss, you can choose to automatically hit instead, but this invokes an opportunity attack. I don't know if the attack would happen before or after (so miss -> opportunity -> autohit, or miss -> autohit -> opportunity?) and this would just be a mechanic in the world. I think I'll consider it the "baiting" mechanic, like, you get the opponent to strike at you, giving you a chance to land your own hit.

Maybe I'll make it so the opponent can either opportunity attack, or take half damage. Maybe make it so that you can respond in one of the following ways: 1. Defensive. Take half damage. 2. Neutral. Opportunity attack, then take full damage. 3. Aggressive. Opportunity attack. Take half damage if you land the hit, get critted if you miss.

Both of these ideas are things that ANYBODY can use, player or enemy, making it fair but also making it easier for me to deliver on better experiences overall.

also I think I'm gonna inject a bit more roleplaying into the sessions. I was planning on skipping it to mostly experiment with combat, and it was mentioned this hurt things a bit - the fights were largely just "okay we're fighting these people now". I have ideas on how to make the fights more engaging on a narrative level (basically having the party MEET the other combatants, though learning what they can do is another story entirely and retains the EXP thing).

overall I think it was decent but I'm definitely glad it ended earlier than expected because that gives me time to refine what I have coming next.

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ciathyzareposts · 4 years

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Ishar: Legend of the Fortress: Won! (with Summary and Rating)

Our hero does . . . something . . . in celebration of his victory.

Ishar: Legend of the Fortress

France

Silmarils (developer and publisher)

Released in 1992 for DOS, Amiga, and Atari ST

Date Started: 22 February 2020

Date Finished: 10 March 2020

Total Hours: 21

Difficulty: Moderate-Hard (3.5/5)

Final Rating: (to come later)

Ranking at time of posting: (to come later)

Summary:

First of a trilogy for which Crystals of Arborea (1990) served as a prologue, Ishar offers a classic kill-the-evil warlord adventure with tile-based, first-person gameplay similar to Dungeon Master or Eye of the Beholder. It has excellent graphics and sound but limited RPG mechanics, including combat and spell tactics, character development, inventory, and puzzle-solving. A couple of original features include a party morale system by which party members can override the player’s choice to recruit or dismiss a character and a saving system that requires the party to pay gold, but neither really plays much of a role in the end.

****

I could have gotten three more entries out of Ishar, as this final entry covers more than 15 hours. But I played it over a week-long period in which I was moving from one house to another, and something about the process made it easier to just keep playing than to stop and write. I apologize if I elide anything important in my summary below, but the good news is that a lot of Ishar‘s gameplay is repetitive. The constant need to replenish your supplies and find a tavern for food and sleep means that you backtrack frequently to the towns of the west while overall gameplay drives you east.

Approaching the titular fortress.

When I blogged last time, I had explored about half the game, having just crossed the bridge into the land of Silmartil. Lands further along include Kandomir, Urshurak, Vargaeon, Baldaron, Zendoria, Gil-Aras, Uldonyar, Elwingil, Halindor, Fhulgrod, and finally Valathar. That sounds like a lot of territories, but each one generally only has a couple of (respawning) monsters and a couple of encounters. The entire game world consists of four outdoor villages, two indoor cities, two dungeons, and a smattering of huts and other wilderness encounters. It spreads across the entire game what Might and Magic would have on a single 16 x 16 map.

The culmination of the game was far to the east, in the large dungeon (or, I suppose, fortress) actually called Ishar. But to survive its perils, I had to solve several sub-quests in the main game area.

When I last blogged, my party consisted of Aramir the warrior (the starting character), the monk “Unknown,” Nasheer the spy, Kiriela the priestess, and Golnal the warrior. Golnal and Unknown were pretty ineffective, and redundant, so I soon replaced Golnal with a paladin named Karorn, and eventually I dumped Unknown for a wizard named Zeloran. To get around party members overriding my dismissals, I simply put the unwanted characters at the front of the party with no armor, and I let them get killed by the next enemy.

This is infuriating. I don’t know why some NPCs do it and some don’t.

Naheer eventually took off while we were sleeping, so I replaced her with a third warrior named Manatar. I liked that balance, but soon afterwards I had to get rid of Manatar to accommodate a quest NPC–a spoiled princess named Deloria who had been kidnapped from her village in Baldaron. I found her in a building in Elwingil, the furthest city to the east.

Manatar had good stats, but he wasn’t with us for long.

Returning her to her father rewarded the party with a vital key to Ishar, but getting her out of the party was a bit of a chore. Karorn decided he was in love with her and refused to let her go. I tried killing Karorn, but his infatuation simply transferred to Aramir, and I didn’t want to kill him.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

The solution to that problem involved a potion. Potions become important in the game during the second half, and it took me a while to figure out how they work. First, you have to find an empty vial, of which there is only one in the entire game, in the dungeon in Rhudgast.

The manual gives you the formulas but not the effects.

I had previously noted that various shops sell reagents like rat’s brains and salamander oil. The manual tells what proportions of these reagents you need to make various potions, but it gives them nonsense names like “Trillix” and “Bymph.” What you have to do is find an alchemist named Jon the Unique in Kandomir, who gives you a scroll that translates the nonsense names into actual potion effects. (I think these might be randomized for each game as a copy protection exercise, but I’m not sure.) The manual has recipes for 15 potions, but the scroll only translates eight of them: “Physical Regeneration,” “Psychic Regeneration,” “Invulnerability,” “Cure Blindness,” “Apnea,” “Disrupt Charme,” “Pig Detransformation,” and “Brain Wash.”

A scroll in the game tells you which words correspond to which effects.

“Disrupt Charme” turned out to be the potion I wanted, but it required a unique ingredient, “turtle slobber.” Fortunately, I’d managed to obtain a vial by first finding a turtle near the sea in Silmatil and then giving it to an alchemist in Zendoria. I fed the potion to Karorn, and he got over his objection to losing Deloria.

Where did Jarel get the key to Ishar?

By this time, I was so enamored with my wizard, Zeloran, that I decided to fill the empty NPC slot with another one. I found one named Khalin in Elwingil. I spent a fortune getting them both equipped with the “Lightning” spell, which damages all visible enemies on the screen and makes wizards more valuable than warriors except that psychic energy runs out faster than physical energy.

Blasting dwarf-bandits with “Lightning.”

A lot of the game’s magic system is wasted. It costs so much to purchase spells that even by the end of the game, each of my spellcasting characters only had three or four. There’s no point wasting money on “Healing 3” when three castings of “Healing 1” do the same thing. I never explored a lot of useful-sounding spells like “Dissolve” (turns the party into a gas cloud that can blow through enemies) or “Inversion” (changes NPC alignments). Some of them seem useless–I never encountered any poison for “Cure Poison” or any invisible enemies for “Invisibility Detection” (except for one that you can’t detect that way). “Radar,” “Invisible Party,” and “Invulnerability” aren’t even described in the manual, just listed. “Regeneration,” “Resurrection,” and “Repulse” (sends all your enemies to hell!) could have been useful but I just never had the money. I basically had my wizards cast “Lightning” (and “Mental Shield” when it was clear it was needed) and my priest and paladin cast “Healing I,” and that was it.

I never learned most of these spells.

Money is tight throughout the game. You need it for sleeping and eating–one meal and one night’s rest costs over $2,000 in the eastern cities–saving ($1000 each), reagents (enough for a single potion might cost $7,000), spells, weapons and armor, and the occasional training. The shop in Elwingil sold high-level weapons and armor, and by the end of the game I was able to get my two warriors into magic armor and wielding the best swords, but no one else. I spent most of my spare gold on potion reagents because potions of “Physical Regeneration” and “Psychic Regeneration” are worth every penny if you’re far from a tavern.

Meanwhile, the places that train characters in strength, agility, and intelligence (I never found one that trained constitution) seem to be there to compensate for very weak characters, not to provide regular character development to already-strong ones. Every time you try to train, there’s a chance that it will go very well (increasing the attribute by 2 points), just okay (+1), or poorly (+0). I don’t think I ever saw an attribute increase when it was already past 10. Thus, for most characters the only form of development is by leveling, which improves maximum health. Several of my characters hit level caps (Level 10) near the end of the game, but not everyone did.

I grinded quite a bit for my gold and still arrived at Ishar mostly broke. (Ishar itself has tens of thousands of gold pieces, but you’d have to slog them back to civilization while very near the endgame.) I decided the best way to grind was to repeatedly enter and exit the two indoor cities in Elwingil and Urshurak. Each one spawns about half a dozen orcs that leave 500 or 1000 gold pieces each. Repeatedly entering and exiting the city was a good way to build both wealth and experience.

By killing a large knight in Osghirod, I got a special helmet that allows you to see invisible enemies. This let me kill the invisible lizardman Brozl, who roams the huge area called Fimnuirh, and to loot from him five fire protection rings.

I spent a lot of time tracking down five rune tablets that you need for the final battle, or you can’t hit Krogh. One was out in the open, on a pedestal in Lotheria. A second was in a hut in Zendoria called “The Forbidden House,” so-named because my characters got cursed and slowly died of a wasting sickness after entering. I had to inoculate them with a potion before entering. Another was in the dungeon in Rhudgast. A fourth was on a pedestal in the outdoor area called Gil-Aras, but the party went blind the moment I entered the province. I had to use the “Cure Blindness” potion to see well enough to explore the small area. The fifth was in Ishar itself.

A rune tablet in an area that causes blindness the moment you enter.

In a house in Elwingil, one of Jarel’s companions from Arborea, Thurm, gave the party five monks’ robes that would disguise us as initiates in a certain place in Ishar.

Eventually, having explored everything else, I entered a teleporter in Halindor and found myself across the channel in Valathar. The entrance to Ishar is in the northeastern part of this island, but there were a few things to do first, including defeating the wizard the guarded the entrance. In the far southeast past some encounters with much tougher dwarf-bandits than I’d faced before, I found a pig standing in the middle of the forest. Since a wandering alchemist had recently given me some toad eye, a necessary ingredient for “Pig Detransformation,” I figured that’s what I wanted to use. I mixed the potion and applied it to the pig, and it transformed into an old woman named Morgula who offered to join my party.

When there’s a potion called “Transform from Pig” and you find a pig, it’s not hard to figure out what to do.

If was reluctant to get rid of Khalin, but I figured Morgula must be special in some way since I had to go through so much trouble to get her. Sure enough, although she’s weak as hell and her physical energy depletes while you watch, she has a spell called “Anti-Krogh.” After I won the game and was doing my usual post-game research, I found that several web sites claim that Morgula is Krogh’s mother, but I don’t know where they get that, as her name appears nowhere in the backstory or in any of the NPC dialogue.

How do you turn down that kind of appeal?

It was finally time to take on Ishar. The fortress is quite large, with three separate sections separated by teleporters. There are numerous doors that you have to find keys to open, and one area that serves as the game’s only real puzzle: a sequence of six levers, each controlling two doors in a small maze of corridors. You have to find the right sequence of levers to open the right doors, which I did through trial and error. There’s a huge area full of poison gas that you have to mix five “Apnea” potions to successfully traverse.

A lever puzzle took much of the time in the final dungeon.

At one point, I killed a mage and looted from him an object that looks like the Silmarils logo, but I never found anything to do with it.

Anybody want to take a guess?

The final corridor features multiple encounters in succession. First, a medusa, for whom you need “Mental Shield” active for everyone to avoid petrification.

Why does it look like medusa is a statue? She’s supposed to turn people into statues?

Then there’s a huge red dragon. It takes a long time to kill him–and my primary fighter had to drink two “Physical Regeneration” potions during the process–but he doesn’t do much damage as long as you have the gold rings from Brozl.

Poor dragon looks like he’s cramped.

After the dragon was a door we had to be wearing our robes to enter . . .

This is the first I’ve heard of Krogh starting some kind of cult.

. . . then a corridor full of individual fights with spellcasters.

Killing wizards in the final corridor. I thought this was Krogh at first.

It all culminated with Krogh himself. He had a powerful magic attack, but it only took three castings of “Anti-Krogh” to kill him. I assumed it would be harder. I guess maybe it is if you don’t take Morgula.

The evil Krogh. Fortunately, Morgula has a spell called “Anti-Krogh.”

Alas, there was no real endgame. After Krogh died, the game played some triumphant music while one of my characters–Aramir, I guess–knelt in a circle of rotating pillars and held a crown above his head. One element of the game that I never solved: there’s a sword in a stone that was supposedly left there by Jarel when he swore off violence. Despite the message, I couldn’t pull it out at any level or with the highest strength statistics.

Any ideas?

In a GIMLET, the game receives:

3 points for the game world. I like the layout, but otherwise it’s a generic high-fantasy place with a generic high-fantasy quest. 1992 CRPG addicts are no longer satisfied with vaguely-described evil overlords trying to take over the world just because they’re evil.

3 points for character creation and development. There’s no creation process, just an assemblage of party members from the NPCs you find across the land. Development is quiet, almost invisible, and besides those of wizards and warriors, the game really doesn’t call upon the varied skills of its other classes.

4 points for NPC interaction. There are a few fixed NPCs who provide hints and items, and then there are the NPCs who can join the party. I’ll allow a point for the uniqueness of Ishar‘s approach to alignment, where party members must vote to admit or expel new members, and apparently you can order one NPC to kill another, perhaps creating ramifications down the line (I never explored this), but none of it amounted to anything.

A few unnecessary hints do not constitute much in the way of “RPGs.”

2 points for encounters and foes. There aren’t really any non-combat encounters, and monsters are generic high-fantasy denizens with the standard types of attacks. They’re not even named on-screen. I thought the respawn rate was useful.

Here was a powerful thing from inside the final dungeon.

2 points for magic and combat. Even if I’d bought all the spells, I don’t think they really would have afforded much in the way of combat “tactics.” There isn’t much to do in combat but attack, cast, and keep an eye on the related meters. The party deployment grid is mostly wasted, and you can’t even do the “combat waltz” or other strategies common to Dungeon Master-style games.

4 points for equipment. You have a reasonably good selection of weapons and armor, with numbers denoting their relative effectiveness. The potion system isn’t bad except that you only have one flask.

This shop in Elwingil offers the best weapons and armor.

6 points for the economy. It remains relevant to the end, and I like the way that it forces you to make tough choices throughout the game. It just lacks a certain complexity that I would need for a higher score, plus perhaps more of a “money sink” in those attribute trainings.

2 points for a main quest with some sub-quests but no side-quests. There are no alternate endings or player choices.

6 points for graphics, sound, and interface. The graphics and sound are some of the best we’ve seen, just about perfect for the scale and nature of the game. I particularly appreciated the ambient sounds (including a murmur of voices in the taverns that I came to believe was “I’m riding down to Livermore with some recruits”). The music is suitably epic, though in my case turned off. The interface was only okay; too much mouse, too little keyboard.

6 points for gameplay. It has some minor nonlinearity and minor replayability (with a different party configuration). It’s almost perfect in its challenge (including its enforcement of limited saving) and its length.

That gives us a final score of 38. That seems about right. I was thinking that it should at least cross into “recommended” territory, but in the end the game is too sophomoric in core RPG mechanics to break into the “truly good” range.

I expected the Amiga version to do quite well in European reviews (most U.S. publications, including Computer Gaming World, don’t seem to have taken note of it), so I was surprised to find mostly low scores even in Amiga magazines. Scores ranged from 48 (Power Play, September 1992) to 89 (CU Amiga, July 1992). The consensus seems to be the same as mine: the graphics are great, but it lacks in RPG mechanics like combat and character development, and it doesn’t have much of a plot. A few noted that with a Dungeon Master-style interface, they expected Dungeon Master-style puzzles. A paragraph from the British Amiga Action (July 1992), which gave it an 82, is representative:

Noticeably distinguished in the graphics area, Ishar: Legend of the Fortress plays almost as well as it looks . . . Perhaps the downfall of Ishar is its simplicity; you begin to wish for more activity, interaction, and involvement, more problems and less roaming . . . Certainly a valiant effort by Silmarils and, if they can learn from this, a firm foundation for a sequel.

Not everyone felt as positively as I did about the pay-to-save mechanism. My fellow blogger, Saintus, abandoned it after one session for that reason. Magazines, if they mentioned it, mentioned it negatively. In contrast, a lot is made in the magazine reviews about the party morale or alignment system in which characters form bonds, defy orders, and “have their own personalities,” none of which is reflected in the game in any interesting way. I suppose Ishar did some trailblazing here, but I’ll concede that an NPC “has his own personality” when he actually says something. Yes or no votes on other party members aren’t quite enough.

Does this really add that much?

Silmarils will have plenty of opportunities to continue to improve on this system. Ishar 2: Messengers of Doom will be along in 1993 and Ishar 3: The Seven Gates of Infinity in 1994. We also might have them for Robinson’s Requiem (1994) depending on my decision on the genre. After that, Silmarils changes its focus to action games and ultimately goes out of business in 2003.

Although some commenters have suggested a certain amount of “Frenchiness” to this game, I think it’s safe to say that we’ve long-since exited the era of truly outré French titles like Mandragore (1985) and Tera: La Cité des Crânes (1986). Instead, Silmarils seems to be following early-1990s Germany by producing copies of successful American games, albeit with some of their own twists. I’ll miss the bizarre nature of the 1985-1989 French “golden age,” but then again there are still a few titles on my clean-up list.

I gave the choice of the next “upcoming” game to Sebastian, who designed my banner, and he opted for Lands of Lore (1993). That’ll be along in a few games. Next we’ll finally take a look at Planet’s Edge.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/ishar-legend-of-the-fortress-won-with-summary-and-rating/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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dietaku · 5 years

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Amazing Quest 1: Chapter 2

The second chapter. I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 2: We’re in Toruble Now! The scene reopens in sepia with Lil’ Hiro and his sister, who retains the same sprite for this scene, talking in a field. Emilia: Alright, little brother, today, I will teach you the basics of sword fighting! Lil’ Hiro: Um. … Must I? Emilia: Yes. You’re the product of the Pudding Eugenics Program. Generations of selective breeding and dedication to the cause of finding the Pudding Savior have come down to just the two of us! Lil’ Hiro: I had no say in that, though! And it hurts when you hit me with the stick. Emilia: It’s not a stick. It’s a training sword. Lil’ Hiro: You’re missing the point. Emilia: Exactly, that’s what it’s a training sword. Lil’ Hiro: D’oh! Emilia winds up and bonks Lil’ Hiro, putting him on his back. Lil’ Hiro: Oooww… mommy! Emilia: *Sigh*. Maybe that’s enough for one day… The scene fades out and then back again as Hiro opens his eyes, lying on a bed somewhere in a small room. Hiro: Ow? A door opens and the huge woman we saw previously walks in. We get prompted to name her but I tend to stick with the defaults – this is Ozma. She’s the biggest party sprite in the game, towering over Hiro by a good head and a half (and several more in the front if you get my drift), her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. The catchy song playing during this scene is her theme, Merciful Heart. She walks over to the bed. Ozma: How are you feeling? Hiro: Like I just was blown up and hurled several miles through the air. Ozma: … Err… Hiro turns to face Ozma. Hiro: ! M-m’lady! Sweet Angel of Lul Invictus himself, I implore you, tell me your name or my life will surely come to its end! Ozma: Ah?! Ozma’s sprite lights up red here. Ozma: I-I… I’m Princess Ozma Zorus Toruble, good sir! I was the one who found you in the smoldering crater and brought you here to the hospital. Hiro: Ah. The Princess herself. Tales of your power and beauty spread far, even to my remote hamlet, but I see they do you no justice. Ozma: Kyaaa! You~! Ozma blushes, puts one hand to her beaming face, then socks Hiro a good one with the other. The sound clip that emits is much like a chicken squawking in mortal terror, leading to the bizarre, oft-repeated nonsense meme of “Chicken Hiro Sub”. Hiro falls back, doing his best impression of The Scream. Ozma: O-oh! I overdid it again! Shoot! At this point, we take control of Princess Ozma herself. If we inspect Hiro she says… Ozma: It was just a playful little bump to the shoulder, but there he lies, near death. I better find a doctor… We can then inspect our inventory. Ozma has no spells to start and begins at level 1. Not like she needs them, as even at level 1, her physical stats nearly eclipse Hiro’s. Ozma’s real weakness is her low magical offense… big effing whoop for the character who barely gets any. Early JRPGs and their sense of “balance” was always an odd relationship. Anyways, we head up to the throne room where we can speak with the king. King: My dear, where are you going? Ozma: I might have sort-of crippled a man just now. I’m going to get the doctor. He’s still at his house on the end of the lane? King: Erm… y-yes, that sounds about right. Ozma: … About right? You can then leave into the town, which is comprised of small, narrow roads and the open-air market. We have Hiro’s money and items, so we can upgrade right away to the Glass Knkls and Regal Gown for a small sum. However, we can’t leave town as the guards block the way. Guard: Yes, ma’am, Lady Ozma! We cannot lower the drawbridge right now! Ozma: Why? Because it’s before daybreak? You realize as the Princess of Toruble, I AM the embodiment of the law? Guard: No ma’am, it’s not that. We actually cannot. The only one who knows how to operate them is currently on the other side of the canal. Apparently we locked him outside last night. Ozma: … Guard: I swear we’ll have this straightened out in just a moment, m’lady! Please, just another event flag or two, I swear! Ozma: *SIGH*. We then go to the doctor’s house. Ozma will knock. Ozma: Doctor? Doctor! I already put the lime in the coconut and it didn’t help! … Doctor? Ozma knocks again. Ozma: Doctor?! … What the hell? Why isn’t he answering? This confounded American gamers. In the Japanese script, it’s made plainly clear no one is home, but in the English, Ozma makes it sound like he’s merely ignoring the door. The answer is to return to the throne room and speak to the King again. Ozma: Father, the Doctor is missing. King: Oooooh yeeeah. About THAT… I might sort-of kind-of banished his ass from the kingdom. Ozma: Father! Why would you DO THAT?! King: Have you SEEN his rates?! Ozma: FATHER!!! King: It’s okay! I totally know where he went. He went to live in the Mountain of Outcasts. Ozma: … I’m not aware of any such place. King: It’s on the mountain behind the kingdom. It’s where everyone I’ve banished lives! Ozma: FATHEEEEEEEEEEER!!! You can then leave the castle, whereupon two castle guards go to Ozma. Guard 1: M’lady! We insist we accompany you! Guard 2: The denizens of the mountain will not be welcoming to a member of the Toruble House! Ozma: You’re the ones without faces, names, or legitimate backstories. Your funeral. Guards 1 and 2 join. Though I can’t fathom why, as Ozma grossly outclasses them both. You’re now free to leave the town and go to the world map, but a wild stampede of migratory sea sponges prevents Ozma from revisiting earlier cities Hiro was at prior, so for now, we can only venture to the mountain range behind Toruble City. We enter the foot of the mountain and begin up the winding trail. You’ll soon find Ozma leveling up while the guards are locked at level 5 permanently, meaning they’ll be the ones holding YOU back. On the bright side, you can equip the Earth Talisman on Ozma which will bolster her overall defense. About midway up, you’ll enter a cave with an eerie mist. Guard 1: Hm. This must be the dreaded Mountain Maze! Ozma: What’s so dreaded about it? It’s just a cave. Guard 1: Guard 2, why don’t you explain it? You always explain it so well. Guard 2: Thank you, Guard 1. The Dreaded Mountain Maze— Ozma: Wait, is that a part of its name or an adjective?! Guard 2: -- As I was saying, the dreaded Mountain Maze is a, well, a maze within the mountain. Ozma: Is it also dreaded? Guard 2: Sometimes! Ozma: I give up. The maze itself is hardly anything dangerous. The enemies are merely things like Blind Bats (which are strong but constantly suffering 50% hit rates), Mounted Munchkins (munchkins who ride atop mules for added stamina) or Portly Pigs, orc-like monsters who Ozma dismisses with a single punch. When you reach the end, the team fans out and looks around. Ozma: The maze comes to a dead end at every path! What do I need to do to get out here?! Ozma punches the wall in frustration which shakes the map. After a moment, there’s another, smaller shake as a boulder falls from the ceiling, taking Guard 2 down through the floor). Ozma: … Guard 1: NOOOOOOO! Not Guard 2! He was the finest mind of his generation! And two days from retirement! Ozma: Oops? Down one helper, we can leap down the hole the boulder made and walk out of the small cave there to the other side of the mountain road. You head around the long, curved strip which eventually goes up to a town nestled amidst the rocks. Ozma: Is this it? Guard 1: It appears so, m’lady! The Mountain of Outcasts! Ozma: Yeah. Try announcing that a little louder. I’m sure they’d all love the reminder! The camera pans down the road as several doors pop open and civilian sprites, dressed in their Sunday poorest, come out, various farming implements in tow. Guard 1: … This is about to turn ugly. Ozma: *Cracks knuckles* The people approach. Man: Whaddya want? We’re then given a prompt. 1) Hello, sir, have you heard the good word of Lul? 2) Pizza delivery! 3) OZMA SMASH!!! If you pick prompt 3, you just fight some weak mooks, which even the Guard 1 in our party could best. The others get varying responses. -Prompt 1- Man: We don’t take kindly to THAT kind ‘round these parts. You ain’t a Toruble, are you?! Ozma: Uh. No. I’m the OTHER giantess with the royal seal emblazoned on my armor that lives in the same city. Man: Well GOOD then! We got nothing to worry about. The villagers put their weapons away. Ozma: … Um. Right then… -Prompt 2- Man: About time! We ordered that thing like a month ago! Ozma: Uh. Yeah. It took me so long to get here I had to eat it to survive. So, no charge. Man: Awww… okay. Well, since you’re here, you might as well come in… Once you clear up who you are, you get to move around the town freely, with some slightly different flavor text through some NPCs. Head to the furthest back building to find the missing doctor. Ozma knocks. Ozma: OPEN THE DOOR OR LOSE IT! A click is heard and then the door pops open as a tall, skinny gentleman in a lab coat is there. Doctor: P-Princess Ozma?! What are you… I told that crowned buffoon that it wasn’t right OR possible but he wouldn’t listen!!! Ozma: Explanations can wait. I want you to help a guy who’s totally into me. So I hope you can understand why I’d prioritize that over your previous banishment. Doctor: I… what happened to him? Ozma: I might have kinda put his lights out. Doctor: … And he SURVIVED? Ozma: DOC! Doctor: Okay, okay! Here. Give him this. Ozma gets the Heal Herb key item! Ozma: Thanks! And I’ll see if I can’t get daddy – the King – to overturn your sentence! Doctor: I’d rather you not, frankly. If anyone asks, you didn’t get that from me! Ozma: Huh? … Well, if you insist! Doctor: Good. Now, kindly leave, if you’d be so good. Take the road here next to my house and you’ll find the shortcut. Good day, little Princess. We can then access the road (as the fence there moves out of the way) and allows us to return back and forth freely, now that the road through the mountain is one-way. We return to Toruble City and suddenly find it slightly darker and overrun by punks on skateboards. Ozma: What in the world?! Guard 1: The city is under attack by ruffians!!! HOLD THE FORT, MY LIEGE! I AM ON MY WAY! Ozma: No, wait! The Guard runs off screen, only to get kicked back onto it, on his back. Guard 1: N-no! I… I was… just… ONE… day… from… retirement… ugh. Two skateboard punks walk on screen. Skateboard Punk 1: The Dark Puddings gave us run of this drab city and now we run it the way we want! Skateboard Punk 2: Like a giant SKATE PARK! Ozma: Punching you is going to feel a little TOO good. We then deal with some Skate Punks to clear out the path. We can hurry back into the castle and go straight to Hiro now. Ozma: Let’s see… what does the label say? “Warning: may cause underwritten romance”? Well, this is a JeffCom game, that ship has sailed. Ozma gives Hiro the Heal Herb which, in the western release claims “Ozma nursed Hiro to health”. In the Japanese, it said “Crammed it in his mouth”. The scene fades then reopens with Hiro on his feet again. Hiro: My lady, you have saved my life. Uh, again. I’ll ignore you were the one who endangered it, really. Ozma: Right, but unfortunately we have more pressing matters at hand. Hiro: Then allow me to help you. It’s the least I, Hiro, can do! Ozma: Then let’s go, Hiro! Hiro and Ozma reformed the party! Next, we’ll want to leave the castle and head out. On top of random encounters, there’s also set ones, with Skate Punks terrorizing the locals. This not only nets us some nice items from the populace (including a Skateboard Hiro uses as a shield), it also helps make up any difference in level the two may have had. Once we’ve done everything, we can go to the castle throne room, where the King is cowering in a corner. The skate punks zoom around the room as one in particular is perched on the throne. Skate Punk: Man, 90s skater culture will NEVER DIE! Ozma: Yeah, it will certainly never replaced by… hell, NASCAR, beanie babies, or some other cultural flotsam. Skaters: *GASP!!* King Skater: Aha! The prodigal daughter of the recently-dethroned Toruble! While you were out, I have claimed this kingdom for our OWN amusement! The Dark Puddings will reign forever and SKATING WILL NEVER DIE! Ozma: Bastard! Hiro: Now, now, Ozma, maybe we should give them the chance to explain their policies. King Skater: Huh? Hiro: Yeah. As king, surely you must have a bold new vision. After all, you don’t overthrow a monarchy purely for the pursuit of trivial temporary athletic competition. King Skater: … Hiro: Oh God, you really did. Ozma: Can we start punching him until he stops living now? Hiro: Sounds good to me. -Boss Fight!- King Skater x1 LP: 2300 MP: 120 Skate Punks x 5 LP: 750 MP: 0 This fight opens with the message “Haha! You can’t reach me!” and is, unfortunately, true, as so long as even a single Skate Punk remains in the way, Hiro and Ozma cannot target the King Skater. Using Rice Pudding is completely useless, by the way, as the Skate Punks and King Skater keep letting into him, which takes its toll when you’re the punching bag. After a few rounds of impotently killing Skate Punks, Hiro kneels. Hiro: Nnngh! It’s no use. Every time I try to act, they strike as one. Ozma: Hiro! Are you alright?! Hiro: (Pudding Eugenics program… looks like selective breeding lost the bet on that gamble. I will be bested not by the Dark Puddings themselves, but mere children…) Hiro falls flat. Hiro: Nnngh! Ozma: No! Hiro! Don’t tell me your wounds are flaring up again?! Hiro: (Sister… Ozma… forgive me. But so long as I hold the Earth Talisman… the Dark Pudding’s ignoble ambition will still end…) A flash of a huge, red monster eye staring right at the player, followed by a black screen. A moment passes and then a text box appears on screen, with the faint silhouette of a strange, tiny creature appears on-screen. ?: Do you want to live? To experience life to its maximum potential? 1) Yes 2) No -If No- ?: Think REALLY hard about this decision one more time. Because if you say no, you kind of die. -If you select No 128 times- ?: I… really? Seriously? Well… okay. Be that way. Jerk. You then get the game over and “The Era of War never ended…” message for this too. -If Yes- ?: Ask yourself this – why DOES Pudding conform to the shape of its container? Is Pudding solid or liquid? Or is it BOTH?! Hiro: Uh…? ?: You must be as malleable as the Pudding from which you derive your name! You must be both sweet and tangy; both filling and light! Do you understand? Hiro: Not a word. ?: EXCELLENT! Then let me say it another way: when one flavor fails to satisfy, what then must the Pudding do? Hiro: Uh. Open another snack cup? ?: PRECISELY! You understand your own base nature! When two flavors become as one, a new powerful flavor is born! As such, you must discover which flavor best complements your own! Embrace this change and evolve eternally upward! HIRO! Hiro! Hiro?! Hiro: Wha--? The screen goes white, as Hiro gets up, back in the fight. Ozma: Hiro! Are you alright?! Hiro: I felt… something awaken just now. Ozma, do you trust me? Ozma: The script says I do, completely! Without an iota of hesitation! Hiro: Then let’s go! Under Hiro’s skill list is a new Pudding morph: Swirl. Swirl is a catch-all that, when you meet specific requirements, lets Hiro fuse with one other party member. Ozma’s fusion is given to us as of this battle, giving us Chocolate-Raspberry Swirl. Hiro and Ozma become an entirely new entity, carrying an enormous, stone axe and has physical stats so high the Skate Punks will struggle to deal 1 damage to it. One blow will send each Skate Punk packing. Once you take out two or three, you get the new message “Skate Punks are terrified!” and they’ll flee, in turn, until nothing stands between you and the Skate King. Skate King: I-I-I’M N-N-N-NOT A-A-AFRAID OF Y-Y-YOU!!! At this point it becomes a slam-bang contest to the finish. Chocolate-Raspberry Pudding has no skills to its name, but it’s still a little game-breaking-ish… but then again, so are ALL the Swirl (and eventual triple and party swirl morphs) modes. Just send this guy packing. -Boss Fight!- Ozma: Wh-what WAS that power?! Hiro: I don’t know. But when I activated it, my P-Centage begin skyrocketing… I have no idea… Ozma: Daddy! Ozma rushes to her cowering father, who immediately rushes back to the throne and reclaims his crown. King: *AHEM* Yes, indeed. That was a difficult trial, but I was so confident you had it all under control, I simply stood in the corner and awaited the obvious outcome! Hiro & Ozma: … King: YES. So… this is a trying time for us all. I must thereby request you, Leroy— Hiro: Hiro. King: Hiro, to go west from here and crush the Dark Pudding’s stranglehold on the drawbridge which links my fair nation to the next! Hiro: Alright. I can’t think of anything better to do. King: EXCELLENT! Ozma: … (I want to ask all about what Doctor was saying but… I get the feeling I’ll just get stonewalled, as usual.) Father, I will accompany Hiro. In order to ensure that his mission succeeds and the welfare of Toruble is maintained, of course. King: Good. Great. Perfect! I await news of your success! Ozma: Come, Hiro. Let us depart now. We then return through the town one last time, as the citizenry thanks us profusely for our efforts, then we head a short trek west. With the sea sponges safely in their new homes, we can go to the drawbridge encampment. When we enter, the rules change a bit. We have three ways of going about this – sneaking by everyone patiently, killing them all hastily, or sneaking up behind them and systematically knocking them out. That last one is only available here and pretty much nowhere else in the franchise, so the fact it’s even an option is a surprise to most until they deliberately TRY to get into a fight, then realize stealth kills yield no exp. The real prize is when we find their storage tent and load up from their losses. Next to it is their prison tent, where a curvaceous ninja girl is holed up in a cardboard box, animated with a “HELP!” balloon over it. Hiro: Um. Are you alright? Voice: No! Please, get me out of this prison! It’s hell! I can’t see! Hiro shrugs, then cuts the tape. Voice: *GASP* The girl climbs out quickly, panting with surprisingly well-rendered jiggle physics. Hiro: Who are you?! Girl: I’m Kimyawa. Enemy to the Dark Pudding’s evil ambition! And you are— Hiro: I’m Hiro. This is Ozma. Kimyawa: Hiro-nii-chan! We must escape immediately! Across the bridge and some ways in, we’ll find Loyroll! Hiro: Who is… Kimyawa: My nii-san! Hiro: Sure, whatever. That totally makes sense to me with all my English speaking and all. Kimyawa: Let’s hurry! We then get to stealth our way through the camp’s remainder to the drawbridge. If you came here without Kimyawa, Hiro would stop and mention he felt like they needed to look around first. Now that the gang’s all here, Ozma runs to the chain and shatters them with her hand, dropping the bridge like a lead weight into place. Ozma: C’mon! Hiro: W-wow! Such brute strength! Such primal beauty! Kimyawa: Later, nii-chan! Let’s go!

#Adventure #fiction #fantasy #science fantasy #writing #Amazing Quest

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