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#because even though she clearly thinks i'm brilliant (and basically said as much) i missed like two weeks of class
astriiformes · 1 year
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Talked about this with the counselor I've been seeing at school earlier today but my intense, desperate need to leave a mark on the world (not even in a fame way, in like a "I need to leave this place better than I found it in a big, tangible way" one) and the fact that I only value myself when I feel like I'm adding good to it paired with the fact that I've been an insane perfectionist since I was a very young child and tear myself to shreds and lose all my confidence over tiny mistakes is literally going to kill me some day
#had been thinking about applying for a leadership position in our university ostem chapter for a while now#but psyched myself out of it last night before applications closed#because with everything that's gone wrong in the student group i was involved in this year i no longer trust myself to be a good leader#or frankly even a good person#i also had a slightly soul-crushing talk with a professor yesterday about my grade in her class#because even though she clearly thinks i'm brilliant (and basically said as much) i missed like two weeks of class#specifically because something happened with another student who i know i managed to make upset#(on accident. but it seems like she found my apology wanting)#and i feel so awful about it that i decided the only way to handle this was to avoid her so i didn't make her uncomfortable#so now my grade is suffering in a class i could've gotten an 'A' in#and it's just like. what am i even doing#i care so much about making the world a better place but i feel like such a bad person and trying makes it worse#and i know i'm under no obligation to put myself through this kind of stress but i don't know how to value myself if i don't#lately i feel like i'm beating myself up for being too fragile and unstable to even make a good martyr#and i know it's not healthy but if i try to step back i just get sad#like how now i feel awful about not sending in that application. and at least half dozen other similar things#i just want to make a real impact but it feels like the only thing i'm good for is making things worse#i'm not even fun to be around most days. i'm just.... sad
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thebroccolination · 1 year
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Is it okay if you go into greater detail about Win's personality, fears, and insecurities?
OKAY SO.
Win's my favorite character! I love him deeply! And I've been enjoying his character growth in Between Us more than anything.
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The interesting thing about following him as a character is that there're different versions of him with similarities and differences: currently unfinished Hemp Rope, his brief appearances in UWMA, the specials, and now the ongoing main series (currently episode four).
His character in Hemp Rope is hard for me to get a read on because we only have unofficial translations and an incomplete story, so a lot of his motivations and emotional interiority are missing nuances.
Here, have the most beautiful image ever drawn of Win, taken from the Twitter account of the official Red Thread mangaka:
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Meanwhile, UWMA is tricky as well because as Boun has said, he put a lot of his own personality into the performance because he didn't have a layered character to study. He kind of created his own version of Win out of necessity. He only had about an hour total onscreen, and apart from his stairwell scene giving Dean advice, he didn't have much of an impact on the plot, so he wasn't a central character with a lot of detail.
That said, we got some crucial moments in his scenes with Team that helped us understand what kind of person he is.
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So! When I wrote WinTeam fic over the past two and a half years, I used a composite of his characters in Hemp Rope and UWMA. The flirtatious side we see in UWMA, the nurturing side we see in Hemp Rope, etc.
The specials weren't meant to be canon, and honestly someone on here recently called them unofficial workshops, which…yes?! That's a brilliant way to think of them, I think. The feedback they got on the specials (mainly that they were portraying BounPrem more than WinTeam) probably helped them focus their performances in the main series.
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So now we're seeing the main series unfold, and since Win has a full development arc to go through now, it's a lot easier for me to see all of these little nuances. He's a full-fledged, multilayered character! One of the leads! YAY FOR MY SON. <3
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His core fear seems to be that he's going to be alone forever, and while he seems resigned to it in episode one, he still clearly has some hope by the fact that he's grabbed onto Team with both hands. Even though he also has no idea what to do to keep him, he wants Team.
I think he also has a craving for validation. That "Team helps Win feel wanted" from the synopsis has been an ongoing chant in my head for the past two years, and it's fascinating to see it play out onscreen. I want to see his interactions with his parents before I go too deep into analyzing anything with his family, but it's pretty telling already that no one's actually sat down with View – a sixteen-year-old – and explained what's expected of him. Not until Win did.
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Win's mother seems to be the one who nurtures Wan, but then you have scenes where Wan is criticizing both of their parents when he talks to Tul and Win. (Maybe because she doesn't stand up for him strongly enough to his father?) I thought it was fascinating that Wan views Win as the favorite, but he doesn't seem to hold any serious resentment toward him. My guess is it's because of this "rule" Win apparently made up: they're equals to him. Even if their parents have chosen a favorite (unconsciously or not), Win isn't using that leverage over his brothers.
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He's even enforced that same equality with food. Maybe it's a conscious or unconscious response to their parents making their favoritism obvious? Or it's just something he thinks is the right thing to do in general. I'm waiting on more scenes with his family, because right now I feel like it could be a number of things.
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Basically, my dear Anon, I'm in the middle of a whole new Win Phawin analysis stage. I knew my characterization of him would change with his series, and I'm delighted by what we've gotten so far. :')
I hope this was what you were hoping for!
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shadowsinger11 · 4 years
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You, The Stars And I
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader
Word Count: 3.8k (oops)
Requested by @amira3113: Can I request a fic abt the reader seeing Fred and George comforting a kid after Umbridge punished him and the reader helps them and Fred thinks it's so cute what she is doing and she does the same and extra mega fluff, pls?🥺 you don't gotta do it if u don't want to btw.. so no pressure ;)
Warnings: A bit more angst than intended, Fred being a soft boi™️
A/N: I don't know how to feel, I just roasted myself hardcore with this and I'm feeling even more single. I'm sorry for not being able to use a 'keep reading' tab
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The sun fell asleep behind the endless hills, enveloped by dense, opaque darkness. Its golden rays no longer shone through the wide windows of the castle and instead let shadows creep into the long, empty hallways, revealing the ugly truth about what the school had turned into over the past few months.
The naked walls stood tall, towering over you and inching closer with every step you took, and you hung your head low, aiming to block out the singular buzzing thought in your head.
Hogwarts was no longer home.
Your heart ached at the memory of hundreds of students chattering and laughing all day long, freely walking around the school grounds and simply being children. You so terribly missed being careless and having fun without the fear of potentially facing a life-threatening punishment.
But now there was no laughter, only your footsteps echoed in the hallway.
You were headed straight to your common room, determined to go to sleep early. The curfew and the dozens of new restrictions prevented you from meeting your friends, and you hoped that sleep would at least somehow distract you from your worries for a couple of hours.
The deafening silence nearly caused you to miss the muffled sobs and quiet whispering, coming from a turn not far away. It seemed as though there were more than one voice speaking, and your chest clenched with dread.
You hurried your pace until you reached the source of the noise, and peeked from behind the wall.
The sight most definitely surprised you, but the pain in your chest only sharpened.
There, on a bench, Fred and George were sitting, hunched over a small boy, probably no older than a second year. You could tell by his green robes which house he was in, but his red, tear-stained face was what alarmed you.
You immediately approached him and fell to your knees. George was on his left, rubbing slow, soothing circles on his back, while Fred was on the other side, holding his small hand in his, on the back of which a few words glistened with fresh crimson blood.
I must not ask questions.
You sent the twins a questioning look, but Fred dismissed it by shaking his head; clearly that was not the time for an explanation, nor was one necessary to begin with.
You placed a hand on the boy's knee to make your presence known.
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
This only caused the child to sob harder and you internally cursed for having to go through this routine.
"It hurts…" he whimpered, "I thought Hogwarts was fun. I met friends last year and it was great. But now… Now I really want to go home."
Your jaw clenched and you swallowed hard, furious about seeing innocent children slowly losing faith and joy in life, turning into hollow shells of the amazing people they could have grown to become.
The horrifying experience would inevitably have a massive impact on them and unexplainable guilt twisted your stomach. And even though the long-term damage had already been done, you could at least take care of the temporary pain.
"It's not going to hurt for long, I promise," Fred whispered, tenderly playing with the boy's trembling fingers. "Ours are already fading."
"That's true, see?" George showed the back of his hand on which you could make out the faint, bloody words 'I must not cause trouble.', and you felt sick. "Soon you won't even remember it was there."
Tears stung in your eyes, but before you gave them a chance to fall, you turned to the redheads.
"I can heal the wound. Well, to an extent. If anything, I can lessen the pain," you began. "But I need to grab something from the Charms classroom."
Fred frowned, confused, "Wouldn't you need a potion for that? Why Charms?"
"Snape isn't the only one armored with potions for just in case things go wrong. And we can't risk going to the dungeons at this hour. It's not wise to tell Madam Pomfrey yet either."
The twins nodded. George said.
"It's not a good idea for all of us to go at once. I suggest one of us returns and covers the others up if necessary."
"I'll go with her," Fred stated without a second thought. "I can get them safely where they need to be, let her do her thing and bring them back."
Fred's eagerness to help filled you with warmth and for once that night you had the strength to smile, even for just a second.
"That sounds like plan then. But you should really take the map," George added, already pulling out the neatly folded Marauder's Map from his backpack. "Don't wanna risk getting caught by the ugly toad, you know."
"As if she'd be strolling down the hallways late at night. Doesn't she have hobbies?"
"Does hanging creepy pictures of cats on pink walls count as such?" you commented and the second year giggled, which made you feel slightly better as well.
Fred took the map from George and you grabbed the boy's hand.
"Good luck, guys. And, like, don't die."
"Woah, greatly encouraging, Georgie," you replied sarcastically, but appreciated it nonetheless. "You sure you'll be fine?"
"Absolutely. I got the route memorized like the back of my hand. I'll be careful."
And with that, George headed towards the Gryffindor Tower while you, Fred and the boy went in the opposite direction - the East Towers.
The night was eerily quiet, only the footsteps and shuddering breaths of the three of you keeping you sane. The soft light, gleaming at the tip of your wands, didn't do much to brighten the empty hallways which now seemed like endless voids of darkness.
Occasionally Fred would warn you about Filch's cat approaching, or Peeves causing trouble nearby, but fortunately, you reached the classroom sooner than expected.
"Alohomora," you whispered, but the door didn't bulge when you tried to open it.
Fred grinned, "Surely a Charms professor wouldn't let such a cliché unlock his own classroom."
"Shut up," you grumbled. "Aberto!"
The door opened. Fred's eyes widened in amusement and you flashed him a charming smile on your way in.
You placed the boy to sit on a desk as you and your friend rushed to look through drawers and chests for something useful. Most of them were full of basic items such as old books and quills, half-full jars of salamander blood, pearl dust and gillyweed, and after long fifteen minutes of not having found anything, you slid your back down against the wall, sighing in frustration.
Sleep-deprivation was kicking in, but your anxiety was getting stronger.
You needed to do something. Fast.
"What about this chest right here?" Fred asked from the other side of the classroom, pointing at something under Flitwick's desk.
You shook your head, "Doesn't open, already tried. Even if the cure is there, we can't get it."
"I take it your brilliant spells don't work anymore?" the redhead teased and you so badly wished to slap away the cocky smirk on his face. Or kiss it. There was something oddly attractive about the way he'd set your nerves on fire, and you hated yourself for enjoying it. Fred seemed to love it too.
"If you're only here to be annoying, just leave."
"I'm here to help too. I can multitask."
You nearly jumped from the ground to strangle him, and he clearly saw through your intentions because his toothy grin almost split his face in two. That bastard.
That super annoying, devilishly handsome bastard.
"Are you gonna keep staring at me, or are you coming? Not that I mind the attention," he shrugged.
You rose to your feet and made your way over to where he was standing, not granting him the pleasure of facing him, "Don't flatter yourself, Weasley. Your stupidity is simply impossible to be unnoticed."
Fred laughed, "Oh, so I was annoying and now I'm stupid too? Make up your mind, woman."
You pulled out your wand and smirked at him over your shoulder.
"You said it yourself that you can multitask. Aberto!"
Nothing.
Fred squinted his eyes as he stared at the wooden chest. What spell could the professor have possibly used? Could you have even heard of it? The chances of ever finding the precious item were becoming grimmer with each passing second and the inevitable sense of dread had started to settle in.
After a minute Fred finally spoke.
"I think your problem is that you're using spells that only work on doors. You need a charm which unlocks containers."
"You might be right. What would that be then?" you enquired, glancing at the redhead. He took his own wand out of his robes.
"I know a spell that's come in handy before. Hopefully it will work now," he wettened his lips and said. "Cistem Aperio!"
Blinding light caused you to cover you eyes,  and the chest opened with a loud thud which could have easily alerted the entire floor of your presence if it wasn't for the silencing charm you were lucky to have used when you first entered the classroom.
You finally dared to open your eyes and kneeled on the ground, carefully rummaging through fancy-looking boxes and vials sparking with liquids that seemed to be quite important.
"What are we looking for?" Fred asked as he crouched next to you.
"Wound-Cleaning Potion. Purple."
It was weird having Fred stand this close to you; sparks of electricity would pierce your heart every time his shoulder brushed against yours, or his fingers would accidentally graze yours. And when they did, they had you longing more and more for their touch, for their warmth.
But this warmth did not belong to you.
You swallowed down the disappointment and instead attempted to focus on the task at hand.
Just as you had expected, the precious crystal bottle was carefully wrapped in sparkling cloth and placed inside a box that was hidden deep in the corner of the chest. You breathed a sigh of relief and got on your feet, determined to stay away from Fred. For his sake and yours.
"Here it is," you smiled at the boy as you walked over to him. "Fred, can you get me some bandages from the drawer in the back?" you asked, pointing right behind him, and he did as he was told.
You took the hand of the young Slytherin and examined it closely - the wound was sure to leave a nasty scar, one that would never heal.
"Can you make it disappear?" he asked, fearfully.
Your heart dropped. But you replied with all the courage you could muster.
"I can try."
Fred was soon by your side and placed the medical items on the desk; a half-full packet of cotton, some bandages and a small box of bandaids. You muttered a 'thanks', not even looking at him, and opened the middle-sized bottle. It spread a characteristic smell of ashes, mint and lemon when you lifted it towards your nose - it was ready to use.
"So what now?" Fred asked.
Not granting him a reply, you simply took a small piece of the cotton and dipped the opening of the bottle into it, soaking it with a generous amount of the purple, dense liquid. The smell grew stronger.
Fred could only watch as you yet again gently grabbed the boy's hand and carefully dabbed the back of it; a thin steam of smoke soared from the contact of wet cotton and wounded flesh, purple mixing with red, and the kid hissed in pain. You worked attentively but quickly, with measured gestures and a straight face, and you missed the way Fred's eyes seemed to soften at the sight of you helping a small kid.
But one thing baffled him - why did you suddenly start acting so emotionless? Even towards the youngling who didn't know a thing. And though your expression seemed calm and collected, the Gryffindor noticed your tensed jaw.
What he wasn't aware of, however, was the racing speed of you heart, increasing each second. He wasn't aware of the short, shallow breaths you were taking because if you had allowed yourself to breathe freely, you'd certainly let out tears along with the deeps sighs.
Every move was calculated, every word and breath.
You pressed a fresh piece of cotton against the now cleaned wound and kept it there as you began to roll the bandage over it, securing it in place. When you were done, you placed a gentle, lingering kiss on the hand.
"There. It should do the trick."
The boy's face lit up and he hugged you, not giving you another choice but to wrap your arms around his small body. At least you had managed to bring him back some of the lost warmth.
"We should get him to his dorm," you told Fred and despite not facing him, he knew the words were directed towards him. That still didn't prevent the stinging pain in his chest from being so effortlessly avoided by you, and he frowned, bewildered by your unexpected coldness towards him.
Had he accidentally done anything to upset you? Were you mad at him? What for?
The boy jumped to his feet, visibly less burdened despite the present tear stains on his puffy cheeks. You hoped he'd be able to get some sleep that night regardless of the circumstances.
The three of you left the classroom as quietly as you had entered it and went in the direction of the dungeons. Fred, as usual, did his job at looking at the map and keeping track of the names, moving on the yellow-ish piece to old parchment.
Fortunately, you reached the Slytherin common room without any disturbances along the way, and the boy went inside, eager to crawl into bed and not think about the ugly lady who had punished him so unfairly just a few hours ago.
The door closed without a sound, leaving you and Fred on your own.
His soft voice broke the burdening silence.
"Are you going to bed?"
If you were being honest, you hadn't even thought about sleep during your secret adventure and though your body was on the verge of giving out, your restless mind was sure to wander all night. And the idea of being alone with your thoughts scared you.
"Actually… I don't think so," you began, fiddling with your fingers in hopes to not let Fred see how much they were trembling. "I doubt I'd be able to get any sleep now."
"Me too, I admit," Fred scratched the back of his neck, uncertain as to how to make the situation less awkward than it was. Trying to get you to talk was hard enough as it was, but your sudden avoidance wasn't helping either. All Fred wished for was to witness the hopeful spark in your eyes, the spark that he had noticed diminish on the first day of school when the unsettling news was announced.
Fred was determined to bring the light back and see your joyous smile again.
Without skipping a beat he said.
"Come with me."
Your eyes shot up in surprise, meeting Fred's for the first time that night. You expected to see the ever-present playful mischief in them, but instead they glistened with something you could not quite recognize. The corners of his mouth had formed a smile, one that didn't intend to mock or provoke in any way, but still contained his usual boyish charm. It was humble and sincere, and along with the anticipating look in his eyes it read.
Trust me.
Your mouth went dry, any and all reasoning to stay vanishing in thin air as you tried to make sense out of your inner conflict. Fred surely wouldn't care if you said no, would he? It's not like he'd be offended that someone like you refused to go with him; why would he even be interested in you in the first place?
But the idea of spending some time alone with him did sound very tempting - you desperately needed some positivity in that moment, feeling exceptionally drained of all your energy after having to witness the emotional and psychological impact of Umbridge's dictatorship. And if there was someone who could lift your spirit even in such dark times, that would be Fred.
Screw the idea of a potential relationship, you needed a friend right now.
"Where to, Weasley?"
Fred grinned at the nickname and shoved hands into his pockets.
"The Astronomy Tower. Are you coming?"
You smiled at him.
"Sure."
It was indeed a brilliant idea to spend the night at the place where anyone rarely ever set a foot. Regardless of it being crowded during classes all day, the Tower wasn't a common choice for students to meet, them much preferring locations like the common rooms, the Great Hall, the school grounds or even the Black Lake. But the Tower did possess a magnetic, obscure charm which many people failed to comprehend and appreciate; charm only meant to lure the wandering souls seeking peace under the stars.
Fred approached the iron railing, breathing in the cold, early spring air, and sat cross-legged on the ground. As he saw you standing a few feet away from him, he patted the empty spot next to him.
"Come on now, don't leave me sitting on my own like that," he joked and his face lit up when he noticed the ghost of a smile on your lips for a brief moment. You joined Fred on the ground, settling on a polite distance from him, and though he was slightly disappointed by the gesture, he was grateful to be in your presence nonetheless.
Silence fell over both of you like soft velvet while you stared off into the horizon; the view reached the Forbidden Forest, the outlines of which had melted into the pitch black sky like ink, the lines between the two practically nonexistent in the dead hours of the night as they blurred into one endless void.
"I don't remember the last time I saw stars on the sky," Fred addressed your ever-listening companions above in a low, hushed voice that caused warmth to blossom within you regardless of the cold surrounding you.
"Me neither," you agreed, nostalgia creeping into you, but you decided you'd welcome it this time. "Such a shame we can't see the moon though."
Your friend nodded, lips pursed into a thin line, "That's because it's currently new moon. We'll need to wait for awhile until it's visible again."
You turned to Fred and the air was knocked out of your lungs. All you could do was silently admire the way the starlight was softening his sharp features and giving his usually flaming red hair a calming shade of copper. His eyes seemed to glow in the dark, and you found yourself coming to the conclusion you had realised long ago.
He was such a beautiful man.
Those glowing eyes landed on yours and you felt your face heat up.
"How are you?" he asked abruptly and you choked out in bafflement.
"Y-You mean, right now? Or in general?..."
"How are you coping?" he rephrased. "You know, with everything going on. I noticed Umbridge bothering you recently."
A shuddering breath.
"I like to think that I'm doing better than others," you nodded hesitantly, finding it hard to sort out your emotions. "I'm more worried about the most vulnerable among us, the youngest students. They're just children. They're the ones that are most terrified. I really hope Dumbledore will be able to do something about it… no matter where he might be right now."
Fred was watching you intently; he did not miss your expression, darkened with concern, nor did he miss your slumped figure, slightly hunched over for a reason he believed was other than exhaustion. Your friend moved closer and nudged your foot with his.
"I don't want you to talk to me about the rest. I want to hear about you. I can clearly see you're being tormented by her."
"As if you're not."
"That's not the point," he insisted and placed a hand on your knee, causing you to face him. His smile was gone. "I need to know how this madness is affecting you."
"I couldn't care less about what that toad puts me through," you shook your head dismissively and shrugged. Why was he getting so worked up about it? "It doesn't matter."
"Of course it does! It matters to me!" Fred hissed in frustration. "Do you think it doesn't hurt me every time I see Umbridge picking at you or calling you for detention? Because it bloody does and you have no idea how horrible it feels to not be able to help you."
He gave your knee a squeeze.
"For once, just for one time, please. Please, stop trying to be the hero of everybody. Believe me, we see- I see how hard you're trying to keep your chin up despite all the shit you're facing, and that's admirable, but right now it's not necessary. Let go. It's just me."
A way too familiar lump formed in your throat and your chest constricted painfully before it harshly dilated, letting out choked breaths. Fred was quick to envelope you in his long arms before your tears even rolled down your cheeks, and when they did, they met his shoulder. Your hands flew around his neck, body falling into his and soaking up his warmth. Fred pressed his soft lips to your temple, calming the racing pulse as you cried freely and unapologetically. Darling, you feel too much.
It's just me.
Your friend didn't let you out of his hold even when your heart-wrenching whimpers were reduced to weak sobs. He continued cradling your exhausted body which was on the verge of completely giving out. But Fred didn't mind, finding astonishing strength in your vulnerability.
After what seemed like hours, you forced yourself to timidly whisper, lip quivering, "I'm scared... And confused."
"Me too, sweetheart," Fred hummed into your ear. "Me too."
You wiped away the trails of dried tears lingering on your face.
"There's just too much going on. Too much that I'm not ready for."
Realization flashed in Fred's brown eyes and they looked down at you with so much longing, sincerity, but also sympathy and understanding.
You weren't angry at him. You were afraid.
And that was alright.
There was enough time, not need for a rush.
Fred had been waiting for years to find out whether his burning feelings for you were reciprocated, constantly suppressing them in fear of scaring you away and losing you. And now that he knew your heart belonged to him like his did to you, all the stars above couldn't contain his untamed happiness, pure and hopeful.
Surely he could wait a little more for you to grow comfortable with your own emotions.
Fred tightened his hold around you and pecked your cheek tenderly, the subtle touch sending a shock throughout your body and subsiding your need for sleep.
"That's alright," he whispered. "Rest now."
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smolstarthief · 3 years
Text
Persona 5/Persona 5 Strikers: Pro-Police or Anti-Police?
Hoo boy... So this honestly has been a LONG time coming on my end because I have seen so much of that debate on social media (Twitter namely) and I can see the points of BOTH sides but there have been moments where it just got out of hand... Especially whenever people tried to put in a more grey/nuanced take only to be slammed and taken out of context. Even repeatedly mentioning the interrogation at the beginning of P5 which, I will admit has gotten tiresome. At least for me, I do still feel for Joker and I wished the game acknowledged his trauma more but there's a thing called, "beating a dead horse" and this is one along with "Haru says ACAB" in Strikers (which was done THREE TIMES in the same arc and it got annoying fast, like shut up already! We get it!). So, let's dive in a little bit:
MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!
Persona 5/Persona 5 Royal
Now let me just say I know! Police in Japan are just as bad if not worse than the West and I STILL hate the idea of Makoto wanting to become a cop for such naive reasons (especially with what happened to Sae, her own sister!)... But there are at least some of form of nuances sometimes and by that I mean, I can see what they were trying to do? I do agree that P5/P5S backpedaled SEVERELY by deciding to sweep issues under the rug after addressing them and not continuing from such. In fact I feel like it could have been a hell of a lot better. But P5 did something different compared to previous games and addresses the issues DIRECTLY right at the beginning of said game! It was tense and horrifying, but needed. Of course... They then sweep it under the rug and act like nothing traumatic happened to our protag which is NOT a good look at all and I'm still pissed off about it. In the main game's case, it's portrayed as more black and white with only a SMALL amount of nuance like that cop that was trying to help Futaba when she went out by herself and got lost (which people ignore entirely by the way). So I CAN see where people got the "anti-police" message from... But that's only the tip of the iceberg as it's ACTUALLY more about Systematic Corruption, not exactly or JUST police corruption. Namely in politics with Shido and the Conspiracy (which is apparently still somewhat around in Strikers until Owada's downfall) controlling everything all the way to law enforcement. The force had been basically under his payroll (including the corrupt SIU Director before his death) whether by force or not (mostly not in this case though). Now honestly, the police depicted there are undoubtedly rotten to the core save for a VERY SMALL handful (the cop that was trying to help Futaba which, again, gets ignored by several). Look at the interrogators who ruthlessly beat and drug a minor without any second thought or remorse for example. But again, the black and white narrative the game kept unwittingly doing ended up being to its detriment in a way. I'm not defending those assholes AT ALL! They deserved every punishment given to them! But for a game that goes on about grey morality... It doesn't quite deliver on that. Still though, it does emphasize that it's more of the fault of the whole corrupt system, not just one part of it. There needs to be change and reform which is what our MCs were trying to do in a way (more like inspiring change but still). In the end, it's all about the following:
Corruption and abuse of power.
Again the police depicted in this game were incompetent at best, corrupt at worse with very few silver linings. But it's not just them but rather the one person responsible for the whole mess. Who had them under his payroll? Who controlled them and by extension all of Tokyo? Who was willing to dispose of anyone who "outlives their usefulness" or is perceived as a threat to what he wants (including his own family)?
SHIDO AND BY EXTENSION THE CONSPIRACY
Bottom line: They are definitely a problem but it's not just them.
"But, Joker and his trauma?"
I definitely understand that and still do. I fully believe he has and still has trauma with the police. Easy! But... I do feel like people go too far with it sometimes. It's hard to explain but there have been moments where people either use it as a justification/argument against someone trying to provide a more nuanced view of things or... Dare I say, depict him like a "uwu soft traumatized boi." Like I said, it's hard to explain on my end so feel free to ignore it. Everyone deals with trauma differently so there is STRONG chance that I'm overanalyzing it. I just remember moments where I just feel a little, I guess annoyed? I'm not sure exactly but final thing: I understand what he went through and I can't imagine how long it would take to recover but I hope he DOES overcome it.
"Sae? Akechi?"
Yep, even though their jobs are different, they are by and large members of law enforcement no matter how you spin it. Both were broken in a way. Akechi is pretty easy to explain with how Shido negatively impacted his life but not much about Sae, who dealt with sexism/misogyny at her workplace along with the trauma of her father's (also a cop) death. She no doubt had some idealism only to be hit with the fact that she's gonna have to use underhanded/downright illegal tactics to get by and even rise up the ranks. She, therefore ended up (well, nearly) corrupted herself before coming to her senses. That's honestly one of the BIGGEST REASONS why I felt like Makoto joining the force to become a police commissioner isn't a good, even a downright naïve, idea. I honestly would have been somewhat fine with it if it weren't for that fact among other things. Regardless of her willpower, it will go south fast.
Now... Onto Strikers!
Persona 5 Strikers
Since the game came out and I started playing it, I still feel like the system is still beyond saving, especially when attempting to do it from the inside. But I don't mind the added nuances that P5 didn't do much of. It's still continuing the critiques, just shows more of what does happen within said system and even has an ACTUAL officer (Zenkichi) say, "Yeah, my job sucks, everyone's corrupt, there are much better ways to do things and make a change but not this. I'm only staying because I have a daughter to take care of and it's all I know. I'm no different from them." Was it all handled well? I wouldn't say "yes" (Joker's trauma is BARELY addressed at all of course) but a little better than what P5's narrative did which only addressed the issues but not exactly follow up on them. Now to be fair... In the system, regardless of where you live, any one within it who remotely tries to do something or speak against it either lose their jobs or even go "missing" irl. Those have happened and it's more proof that yeah, it's rotten to the core. There's no denying it but regardless, that's NOT what the game is about at all. At least that's what I feel about it as it's only PART of the narrative. I think Zenkichi puts it best here:
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Speaking of Zenkichi... Oh boy... Now I definitely understand some of the criticisms with him but honestly, he was the best written (PT) character I've ever encountered! He was honestly the perfect representation of those that genuinely want to help and do good, only to be held back by an extremely harsh reality. It was already hinted at with Sae but here? It 100 percent confirms just how harsh and even cutthroat it can be if it could break someone's idealism so badly. Even Kaburagi of all people thinks the same thing Zenkichi said:
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Then there's his past and it's a tragic one! But let's look more at the decisions he ended up making:
While it was no doubt done to protect his daughter, he ended making a selfish decision along with a selfless one (which was brilliant!) with not only allowing the cover up of his wife's death and denying justice for her, but also ruining an innocent person and their family's lives.
It's horrible, but also... There's a grey area/nuance as with the rest of his character. It was both understandable, but also wrong as he, as Akane's Shadow puts it:
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He sacrificed his values, his morals, all for the sake of having a peace of mind. Speaking of Akane, she's also an interesting case in a way that she more or less perfectly represents the more "black and white" views on justice in general. Namely the more toxic/biased kind. Her reasons are also understandable but she was also acting selfishly by only focusing on how SHE was effected by Aoi's death and not even considering those that were also grieving her death and/or that people grieve/handle grief differently than her. But back on topic.
Her own views and beliefs that law enforcement basically SHOULD be dismantled (mostly out of said childish bias and black & white views) and it's framed as WRONG and it's very much correct on that. Chaos and order are two sides of the same coin, one can't exist without the other. When I say ACAB, I'm calling for reform, defund, have the corrupt held accountable for EVERYTHING and even face jail time for their crimes! Defund the police, have the ones that arrest, harm, and even murder out of bias (race, gender, etc.), lose their badges/jobs and locked up, make improvements! It's saying that there IS still corruption out there and there's no denying it. But fully eliminating the law in general will just lead to more problems. Now granted, she's young and clearly doesn't fully understand why those views are ultimately wrong but still... It was a very interesting subject to tackle and I feel like they handled it well.
Now back to Zenkichi, he was at first in denial about his decisions ultimately being the wrong ones too and even tries to justify it. Of course, his Shadow said otherwise and that was when he finally admitted that he really did act no different from the criminals he despised. But it also doesn't mean he can't redeem himself and that's what ultimately leads to his new resolve:
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That right there along with everything else! There's the nuance! And ultimately despite some hiccups, Strikers handled the grey morality and nuance beautifully! Especially regarding law enforcement! Dare I say, even better than the base game! It continues the critiques with no problem but also showing different sides and areas of it! There is good and evil, but what about in-between? What about the more greyer area? It still says that there IS corruption, sometimes even beyond saving but... Sometimes a small silver lining is hidden somewhere.
Now, the ultimate question:
Is P5 & P5S (namely the latter) Pro-Police or Anti-Police?
Personally, my answer is this: Neither.
Why? What theme do they both have in common?
JUSTICE
Someone puts it best on Twitter that the games are more pro-justice and I fully agree!
P5/P5S gives the idea about following your OWN justice, your OWN moral code and rules, paving your OWN path and not let others dictate it! That's what the MCs ultimately start to learn in both games. Therefore it's pro-justice. Again, do I agree that the system is beyond saving? Yeah. Do I at least acknowledge and understand what the narratives are trying to say and nuances regardless even if I don't agree with some writing decisions (ex: Makoto wanting to become a commissioner despite everything)? Also yes. But at the same time, don't judge a book by its cover for other people (not just law enforcement and politics mind you). Especially some that genuinely DO want to help at best. That there is nuance and greyness, just have to look closely. Some of the MCs are still TERRIBLY written and executed (even annoying) but the message was still somewhat there.
Final Thoughts
Now I fully understand how you all feel of course! I still believe in ACAB and even I agree that maybe I'm one to talk and have a lot more to learn about the world... This is just my own attempt at putting my own two cents in. If you disagree, that's fine! This is just what I've felt should be at least talked about more often. And I tried to phrase it as best as I can without coming off as insensitive or ignorant and if I did, I sincerely apologize for that! I'm not trying to say, come off as a "bootlicker" or any of the sort. I'm just trying show discuss more of the grey areas and nuances that are, more often than not, constantly overlooked. How one interprets both games is ultimately up to them. You, the player. And this is my own interpretation. Simple as that. I hope you all have a good day/afternoon/evening!
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anasticep · 3 years
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Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 2. Heroes and Villains or Let that foil shine
NOTE: Thanks again for your kind response to Part 1. I never expected that. It being my first tumblr post and a first meta in quite a long time I was blown away. I read all the tags, some were really hilarious. About having more than one brain cell xDDD I laughed so hard. It means a lot.
NOTE2: Please remember that the gifs are made by me, so don't crop, edit or give as yours.
Part 1.
Before diving into meta, I have to mention that the Villain of the story is actually one of the best in the decade. He’s cool, evil from the start, we understand his motives and we certainly are not supposed to love and make excuses for him. The writers made sure of that. So back to the main topic.
A foil is a character who contrasts with another character; typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist
Foils in literature are not necessarily antagonists. A friend can be a foil or sometimes even a thing, a song. Whatever can make a good and real contrast to the protagonist. But it’s not very simple to use this author’s device and not fall down a deep hole. Because you have to make sure you did just the right amount of work to make it understandable for a reader, the things you want to contrast are definitely there and still you don't waste a character. On TV it can be even harder given limited air time. And, well, I don’t come across this device being used in full very often nowadays. It’s usually good and evil fighting for the plot. That’s why I personally appreciate JaTP so much.
Caleb is clearly a foil to Luke. As much as I’d love to say that Julie also has one, that’s not entirely true, at least not this season. Carrie is not her foil though it may seem so, and I really think that’s cool as Julie’s journey is being presented through her own demons and I'm going to cover that next. That being said, of course Caleb doubles as an antagonist plotwise, but I personally consider him being written more as a contract to Luke so we could see and appreciate his character and journey better.
1. Origins
Caleb and Luke have extremely similar backgrounds. They are both natural performers. They know how to deliver, because c’mon, “Now or Never” is something and so is “The other side of Hollywood”. Stage is their natural habitat, their element, power. Although they channel this power from completely different places.
Let’s start with our little ball of energy. It’s emphasized TWICE that he doesn’t care about the money aka the physical side of art.
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All Luke wants is to make music. Connect with people. He is so happy just to be heard despite him loving to perform. Making music is what makes him feel alive and basically that’s enough. I think if there was no “hologram” magic at all, Luke would have still been extremely happy to make music with and for Julie. Because that’s the way he is.
But Caleb doesn’t know that. He knows, and I’m standing by that, right away that Luke is the one to aim at. Because we always feel the similarity in people. If Luke said yes, Reggie and Alex would have followed. So Caleb recognizes the passion and shoots at them what he thinks is appealing. And, oh boy, he delivers.
“The Other Side of Hollywood” is a perfect song to emphasize Luke and Caleb being foils for each other. Follow me here:
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But these lines come from very different places. For Caleb the only thing that matters is himself. He owns the show, he IS the show. It’s about being famous, drowning in applause, admiration. Look at how he performs. Confident, yes, but still very much in control. He must keep his perfect face. No flaws, no real emotions, no real connection (Did you miss ME? I did too // This band is back). Whereas Luke is simply living the best time of his life each time he performs. Is it just jamming? Bring it on. Doing fun riffs? He’s all for it. He doesn’t care how he looks (though who could deny gorgeous sweaty Luke), he owns the show just because he is a natural.
So back to the business. Caleb immediately puts the boys in his own shoes:
On the other side we live like kings // Your soulprint on the walk of fame on the boulevard of your wildest dreams // I got your glamour, got your gold, got all you’ll ever need
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And, I mean, he is not that wrong. You can see the appeal on the boys’ faces. They are young, passionate, handsome, talented musicians. Of course they wouldn’t deny fame. Of course they would want all that to some extent. And Caleb is very sure he pulled the right strings.
Watch me make a move, I’m your number one choice
Also I have to mention, as we are talking about TOSOH (IKEA name again) and it being a foil for Luke, thy lyrics still don’t forget about what is important for Reggie and Alex (we’ll talk about that just a bit later):
Welcome to the brotherhood -> Reggie
Where you won’t be misunderstood -> Alex
Then again, lots of foreshadowing in the song, if you listen carefully the lyrics are stressing the true colors of the offer:
A tomb with a view
Man, what a metaphor. I would have run out of there the minute I heard this line. But our boys share one brain cell (I can’t get over how funny this is) and it’s currently taken by Julie, so I don’t blame them.
Disappointment is huge. Caleb read it all wrong. So we are moving to the next point in our Heroes and Villains essay.
2. Recruitment
It’s very cool that Caleb offers the boys to join his band right after Luke offers Julie to join Sunset Curve. They both are going out of their ways to get that (although have different budgets apparently. But look, they live in a garage). Luke made a hit with a bunch of Julie’s not very well structured lines (I love Flying Solo with all my heart as a song, but as a poem it just looks weird to me) to impress her, and we all saw the show Caleb had thrown to impress the boys. Plus food. And fancy dancing. But here is where contrast comes again.
Caleb offers to join the band, yes, but only as backup singers. It’s his show, remember? It’s only about him. He doesn’t care if they are even good. He wants their magic under control.
Share the spotlight with ME / How do you like MY new band?!
Luke offering Julie a spot in the band is a completely different story. He saw what she is capable of. He instantly knows she must be the key to a new sound, a new level. And he, a natural performer, frontman, lead guitarist, steps back and gives the spotlight to Julie. To think about it, he could have just got her magic under control by giving her simple lines, incorporating piano in the songs and that’s all. They would be visible, he would still be a center of attention, and Julie herself wouldn't mind that much. But that’s not who Luke is. Yes, there is a funny scene of “Hey, I’m your lead singer” and “you don’t have to be mean”, but it’s just messing around. Because right after that he finishes Flying Solo, writes several other songs with Julie, seeks her approval of Sunset Curve songs and basically follows her around like an adorable excited puppy.
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Moving on and back to the rejection. Again the writers are mirroring them. Julie quits the band & the boys decline the offer. What does Luke do? Well, he tries the way he knows: books a gig, makes Reggie and Alex sing in perfect harmonies and does his puppy eyes thing. And it doesn’t work. And Luke goes to reflect and then probably try to come up with a plan. But something tells me he would not have haunted Julie until she joined them.
What does Caleb do after the initial rejection? Puts a cursed stamp that leaves them no choice but to join HGC. You don’t need to say more.
But in fact the more I think about it, the more I suspect Caleb also not possessing enough mental capacity for a human being. Like, if it wasn’t for Willie, how would they even know? Has Caleb planned to simply show up one day and casually explain? Look, foils in everything.
“You’re in a tough spot… So, you wanna join the band?” | “Looked like it hurt… you know where to find me”
But we sidestepped a bit.
3. Pulling the strings
After the song Caleb comes out to consolidate his success. What he does is clever and, btw, that’s the only time he becomes Julie’s foil. They are stating basically the same thing.
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Again, Julie is concerned about the band and the boys, while Caleb is only concerned about having them under control. But they both are pulling basically the right strings.
What is interesting, Caleb actually impressed the wrong person (and that person is our sweet Reggie). Luke follows the string Julie pulled. Although the offer is tempting, he insists twice that they are in a band already directly to Caleb and then in Eats&Beats he says "It's like Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound». No matter what Caleb promised, Luke is not affected at all although Caleb’s offer is a very-very safe choice.
Speaking about using friends as foils, Alex and Reggie also serve as contrast characters for Luke at some points. Luke’s indifference to money is first stressed through Alex who is clearly the chief accountant for the band. His lines about not getting tips, living in a garage and «it’s a little bit about the money» are waved aside by Luke. Reggie is clearly the most affected by the whole Bobbie thing. His lines «I don’t care what Julie said, I’m glad we scared Bobbie», «So we’re gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?» are getting a clear contrast by Luke’s «It’s what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound» and «He has to live with that guilt».
While editing the article I realised a very cool thing I haven't noticed before. How badly Luke wants to go on tour. And again that's another thing Caleb offers as if reading his mind. That's actually brilliant, to think about it.
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Caleb is a VERY good reader. He tests the waters with a speech about disappearing from stage and going around the world and all dreams coming true. Still he doesn’t know the boys and especially Luke, so his phrase “no real connection” doesn’t register that much.
But he learns. Remember the lines I’ve marked before?
Reggie is afraid they will not be together after they cross over. He is in desperate need of a family. So wouldn’t it be nice to spend the rest of your afterlife with your brothers? (Reggie's main insecurity is loneliness, feel of a broken family. That's why he is the most concerned about crossing over. Will his family stay intact?)
Alex is insecure, and not being understood by the people closest to him will always hit hard. So welcome to a place where you won’t be misunderstood. And actually we know there is a guy you like and find comfort in. (Alex's insecurity is growing up in times when he could not truly be himself even with his family and for sure not believing he would ever be able to find someone meant just for him)
That mirrors the whole Luke’s beach speech perfectly. Only comparing them we can truly appreciate why Luke is the leader. He shuts down his own demons to make Alex and Reggie remember that they are not alone (“and I believe in you”. sorry. Olicity fan).
Caleb makes them suffer to get what he wants. But this time he is careful with the words aimed at Luke. Yes, he repeats his words about vanishing and applauses BUT he makes sure that his words about CONNECTION are the key words for Luke. Intense look, calming voice, touching - these are all elements of hypnosis. And Luke is in a daze. (Continuing the parents' thing, for Luke the main insecurity is not managing to connect with his mom. Maybe that's such a big thing for him: through all these people he wanted to find that connection with her)
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4. The Hero’s journey
That’s the best part actually but I won’t be saying anything new or that you don’t know. Luke is made of lyrics and music. That’s his soul, heart, that’s the feeling running through his veins. He doesn’t need anything other than that in his life. Playing for eternity is “a gift no musician would ever turn down”. But he actually does turn it down. As well as his dream to go see the world with his band (is there covid in jatp universe?). He is the one who resists the hardest to the pull. Luke, who always has a guitar in his hands, doesn't want to play. Because it’s not only about the music now. He has this amazing girl in his afterlife who was willing to accept them for who they were, helped Luke battle his own demons, eased his pain and made him open up. And it doesn’t make sense any longer without her anymore. “And you’re a part of me now till eternity”.
Caleb, being Luke’s foil, completely misses the whole point of connection. It’s not in his nature. His house band are just recruits (Just so happens you’re in luck we’ve got a vacancy). For Luke his band is his family (We are the only family we ever gonna need). The Connection theme is one of the main in the show. And it’s so cool to show it focused through Luke whose best way of interaction is a touch. But not being able to touch Julie Luke has to find other ways, although it’s not that simple for him. And Julie backs that up: We connect in so many other ways. They literally touched each other's souls. Without knowing she put a stamp of her own on Luke, Alex and Reggie. They’ve never felt loved enough, appreciated enough, supported enough. They’ve only had each other. And Julie’s stamp is love. And for Luke (as well as Reggie and Alex) from now on this girl is worth dying for all over again.
_______
So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, as I for sure enjoyed writing. There is gonna be a part 3 about Julie and a few honorable mentions of parallels of the Pilot and the Finale (I hope at least to do all that). I’ve also figured very very cool connections in the songs and I can’t wait to share.
Also as I was heavily speaking about The Other side of Hollywood, @catty-words has a wonderful meta on rain metaphors here (sorry for tagging, if you don't want to be tagged), check it out if you somehow missed it. It's super clever.
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captain-apostrophe · 3 years
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Hi cap! I love the prompts idea so... Either 19 or 31 for nmj/wq? Ty! ❤️ (I have no idea if prompts are still open bc rn time is p much an illusion for me rn, so feel free to delete if they're closed 😅)
Prompts were still open, and I’m glad you sent one in! I hope your schedule eases up on you and that you get some time to rest. Thank you for your support this year, and as always for reading! <3
(also on ao3, if you prefer to read there)
[gen; QingJue; zoom meeting gone wrong]
- Policy -
When the door behind Mingjue opened, it was all Wen Qing could do not to sigh. They'd already been going over this contract for hours - this wasn't even their first call working on it - but they'd been interrupted three times already by phone calls and each time it had completely thrown them off-task. She just wanted this done so she could finish her work day in peace before she had to start thinking about dinner.
   "Ah," Mingjue said, "excuse me a moment, would you?"
   "Of course," Wen Qing said, through gritted teeth, because it was easier in the long run to be polite in the short term.
   Mingjue grinned - and she did not stare at his dimples - and then leaned in, squinting at the screen as he clicked to mute his feed. Wen Qing looked back to her spreadsheet... and then froze, as they began to speak.
   "So that's her, huh?" Mingjue's little brother said.
   "If by 'her' you mean my respected colleague, yes."
   "Excuse me," Wen Qing said, "it looks like you missed the mute button."
   They didn't respond - neither looked toward her. She frowned, and brought up the 'participants' panel, and saw that Mingjue had in fact muted her by mistake.
   "You know that isn't what I meant, dage. I mean... is that her, the one you have a crush on?"
   And then, very deliberately, Huaisang looked at her over Mingjue's shoulder. It wasn't for long, but he made eye contact, and she knew that he knew. He didn't mention it.
   "Don't be ridiculous," Mingjue snapped, and Huaisang laughed.
   "What, so you were talking about someone else being brilliant, and beautiful, and mean but in a hot way?"
   "Hey!" Wen Qing protested. "I'm not mean!"
   They didn't hear her, of course. Huaisang now was making a point of not looking at her, not drawing Mingjue's attention to his computer. She clicked into the chat and sent him a message, and then another, but he still didn't look around.
   "Okay, none of that was what I said," Mingjue said. "What I said was that she was - was intense. And she makes an argument compelling, and she's... efficient. She's very good at her work. Stop trying to twist it!"
   Wen Qing blushed. Huaisang's compliments had been clearly exaggerated, but hearing Mingjue say nice things about her was... a little devastating, actually. On a purely professional level, of course. He was her respected colleague: dedicated to his work, supportive of his juniors, broad-shouldered - no, no, she wasn't objectifying him she was respecting him. Him and his work ethic and his foundational skills and his mustache...
   "Oh, I'm not twisting anything. Just trying to keep you honest, dage."
   She should have ended the call. Wen Qing knew that she was basically eavesdropping at this point, no matter whose the initial mistake had been. It wasn't fair to Mingjue that she keep listening in.
   "I'll keep you honest," Mingjue muttered. "I'll keep you honest upside the head."
   Huaisang laughed and waved off the threat like it was nothing.
   "Fine, fine," he said, as he went. "I'll leave, if you're so desperate to get back to work."
   "Don't you have someone else to pester?" Mingjue said, and then he turned back to face the computer and Wen Qing froze with her cursor over the 'end call' button. She knew her cheeks were red; he couldn't know why though, right?
   She held her breath as he frowned at his screen and un-muted her.
   "Sorry about that," he said.
   "No, that's fine," Wen Qing assured him - and then, before she could think better of it, she continued. "Let's get this done, I'm sick of the sight of spreadsheets. And - maybe after, we should. Get a drink? To celebrate."
   Mingjue stared at her, and a blush to match hers spread over his cheeks, and then he grinned.
   "Yeah," he said. "Why not? I think we've earned it."
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fenheart87 · 4 years
Text
Blue Changes
We had a fun little challenge, we picked a prompt and had 3, 15 minute sprints to write something for the prompt. Then 24 hours for light editing to finish sentences if needed, grammar etc. This is my take on the the prompt "Has anyone ever told you just how adorable you are Because you really are." Dedicated to @verfound 🧡
“Marinette, where is my favorite designer at?!” Jagged burst into the studio, Fang trotting happily next to him on her leash and Penny multitasking between her phone call and tablet. Technically he was supposed to be on a plane to New York, but decided to swing by Paris on his way because he had an idea that just could not wait and wanted to check on his unofficial niece anyways. There was only one speed bump in that plan, the studio was completely empty. The chaos of fabric strewn about and pieces half cut with scissors still mid snip definitely screamed someone was working hard or trying to at least, the mannequin with a half-pinned design and ripped fabric seemed to lean toward the latter.
“Looks like she’s not here… Must be taking a break. Penny, why don’t we order from my favorite bakery and make sure something extra special for Marinette. I’m glad we came here before the next stop on tour.” Jagged poked around at the sketches laying in abandon on the desk, some half crumbled on the floor and more stacked on a sketchbook.
“Seems like she is having some massive creators block… We should treat her when we have a break on the tour.” Penny suggested, already on the phone with Tom and trying to insist they would pay for their order.
Some of the sketches were brilliant but had marks of black throughout them, others were completely marked out and you could not even tell what the design was to start with. It hurt to physically see what pain Marinette was going through, most of the ones with the darker markings were of the same style. He could clearly see the thought of Adrien in the suits and matching dresses for Marinette, the anger of the marks showing something had happened or changed. Sighing heavily, Jagged gathered the papers, Fang batting the ones further away with her tail over to her owner. One paper had him blinking in surprise.
“Penn! Pen! Lookie here! D'ya see this?!” jagged shouted, shoving the paper into his assistant’s face, not even minding when she sighed and pushed it to a proper distance. It was a one-of-kind leather jacket and a custom hoodie drawn to match it. Either could be worn seperate or paired together. The colors were a contrast of electric blue and smokey turquoise, the theme was music and snake. Jagged recognized it as a rough sketch due to the lack of color or material notes along the edge that appeared on her finished drafts.
“Why was this crumpled up? It’s a really great idea!” Penny wondered aloud, noticing that the eccentric rockstar she commonly felt like she had to babysit was scheming. “Jagged no, whatever is it the answer is no.”
The door opened and in walked the designer they were looking for, Marinette seemed stressed and a bit run down. Her hair was thrown into a messy bun, one sleeve was pushed higher than the other and her shirt was wrinkled where it was tucked into her pencil skirt. Flip flops clacked along with her steps, another sign she was worn out if the basic shoe was more preferred to her custom made and very comfortable flats. An energy drink dangled from one hand and her design tablet occupied the other. Both guests watched as she made it all the way to her desk without noticing they were there.
“I have no idea what I'm going to do! I don't have anyone that fits that one or the orange one… I could make it a dress but who would wear it?! Ugh! I’m going to fail at this rate and then I won't graduate and I'll never design again, who would want something made by a failure-” Fang chose that moment to nudge her head onto the petite woman’s lap, startling her so bad she screamed and fell out of her chair.
“Well I reckon that I would love to have exclusive rights to all designs made by my favorite niece but we all know that’s not fair to the rest of the world. Now I know you are in a pinch and you’re stuck like a boat in the desert, so you’re going to take a break, spend some time with uncle Jay and make sure that you show poor Fang some love, she was all excited and you just screamed right in her poor face. C’mere my poor baby, Marinette is so mean I know.” Jagged showed the croc in love through pets and scratches. 
“When.. How, why?” Poor Marinette was lost and couldn't believe the rockstar was in her studio when he should've been halfway around the world for the next stop on his tour. 
“Okay, the only thing we’re doing right now is leaving all this behind for a much needed break for food and maybe a nap in your case. Time to relax and stop stressing for a minute." Penny authoritatively stepped in, stacking the papers on the desk, handing Marinette her purse and phone and with the help of Fang scooted the younger woman out the door.
Marinette protested "Wait I need to finish, it has to be done! I can't take a break, I just did!"
"Negative, now it's time for chow, and you need a shower, at your parents then we need to have a little chat. Ladies first!" Jagged gently shoved the designer into the car with cheer, allowing Fang and Penny to enter before him. 
"So my little brilliant niece, we have some great news and a rock and roll deal for you! Can't tell you what is until after you've taken a break though." They grinned as Marinette grumbles as she gave fang the attention she wanted until they pulled up to the bakery.
Getting out of the car first, Marinette sighed at the smell of her parents baking, the smell melting off some stress like butter melting on a fresh from the oven croissant roll. Her stomach grumbled and she opened the door for the other guests, sneaking an excited Fang upstairs to not scare the other customers. Deciding to take a refreshing shower, Marinette went to her bathroom and put on some zen meditation music before getting in the shower. Quick ten minutes later and she was feeling much more alive and hungry. On a whim she grabbed a random outfit that she had made but never worn, pleated plaid skirt with a red checker pattern offset by the off the shoulder fitted top in a burgundy color, and threw it on before joining her guests. 
"Oi looking good! One of yours?" Jagged shouted with his mouth full, causing Penny to smack his arm as a reminder to use manners. 
"Sure is! Never worn it before but decided change can be a good thing and sometimes you have to start the change instead of waiting for it to happen." Grabbing her favorite pastry and a croissant because you can't just smell one and not eat it, she missed the concerned look her adopted guardians shared.
"So your studio was, well, you seem to be having a hard time." Pen tried to be gentle but made a face at her words.
"Yeah… Life is… Changing." Marinette mused, picking at the pastry.
"Marinette, what can Uncle Jay do to help?" Jagged's serious tone drew her gaze and his heart broke at the sight of unshed tears.
"I uhm well. I- That is, we-" With a huff, she calmed down and a look of determination shone on her face. "Adrien asked me out, on a date date in this really elaborate way. I turned him down. I have no idea what I was thinking but when he asked me I was so happy and then all I could think of was blue and how soft its is and it can be so calm or so chaotic and it’s always changing like the ocean but yet it's always the same and there this feeling of calm and I just couldn't say yes."
The quiet settled into a slightly awkward silence, Marinette was ignoring it and Penny was having nonverbal argument with Jagged on what to say next. With an eye roll that spoke louder than her shouting at him, the assistant took the lead once more. Quietly she rose from the chair she was occupying and sat next to the young designer smoothing out the crumpled sketch she had taken from the studio.
"Is this the blue you're talking about?" 
"Yeah… That’s my blue." A gentle smile touched peach lips briefly, blue eyes going soft.
"Is this the skater kid?"
"Skater kid?" Marinette blinked in confusion.
"Nah Pen it's the boat kid."
"He has a name you guys!" Marinette broke down into giggles, looking much more like herself and less like a zombie just waltzing around and going through the motions. "His name is Luka, yes the one who went me skating with Adrien and Kagami, yes the boat kid who has a heart way too big for just his mom and sister. And now me…"
"Sounds like you made a change?" Penny prompted smiling widely.
"A blue one yeah, I did."
"Has anyone ever told you just how adorable you are?" Jagged shouted, picking up the younger woman and swinging her around as she shrieked. 
"Okay Jagged, let's not take over her whole day. We did have a reason to show up here after all." Penny handed the tablet to Marinette after he relinquished his hold. "This is what we're looking at for a surprise concert once we are back here in Paris. There's some issues I'm ironing out but I wanted to see what you think and if you would take lead on the design aspect."
"Wait, lead designer for your show?" Blue bell eyes swiveled between ocean blue and hazel sets, wide with disbelief and building excitement.
"Yup, this tablet is yours by the way. I do ask you to keep just business on it for the show, if you want more traditional sketches that's fine but once it's done it needs to be uploaded on here." Jagged explained, clapping a red clad shoulder.
"Oh you need an opening act? I've got that covered." The sparkle was finally back in her eye to match the mischievous grin.
"I agree with Jagged, are you sure no one has said it before because you really are adorable."
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skamamoroma · 3 years
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Meg WTF, I've been away from tumblr since the end of skam italia basically (I dont have a blog, I just check on my fave blogs to read their opinions) I randomly came back to find out you fell into the ITSAY rabbit hole I'm so happyyyyyy I miss it so much I can't wait for March 2021.. and I'm so glad you love Teh cos twitter isn't that woke about him. My confused boy. Anyway I read all your posts about it and really, I could rewatch this show countless times, what a masterpiece.
Oh we have watched a million and one things since then, my love ❤️ hahaha
But hello! And goodness. Do you mean the end of season 4? Because that took me ages to get over. I still find myself shocked how wonderful s4 was and how much I adored Sana and how well it was all wrapped up. Oh Skam It always be just so precious to me. Such a happy place!
And LORD. Where did ITSAY come from? A friend in Japan recommended it to me. She knows me pretty well and knows I’m weak as hell for a lot that the show does, mainly that type of symbolistic metaphorical writing and also the sheer god damn beauty and that type of nuanced acting... ugh all of it. So yeah I have never really watched many shows from that part of the world as I kinda rely on recommendations (kinda wanna avoid a lot of the stuff I see that screams “made purely for people to fawn over handsome guys kissing” because that just ain’t it for me and I feel uncomfortable) and I wasn’t sure what to expect from ITSAY until about 5 minutes in and it’s just blissful. It is just a v well made tv show clearly created with a lot of care and I was heartened to see it marketed really seriously and sophisticatedly. The show feels kinda weird to me and I am all about that. Weird in terms of how refreshing and surprising some of it feels even if some is kinda stuff we have seen before - a lot isn’t. I love when characters are a little weird and strange and intriguing.
Teh is 100% that for me. He’s a weirdo and he’s emotionally stunted. I wonder if people maybe don’t click with him is because he ain’t created for easy consumption as a character. He screams, to me, a character created by LGBT+ folks for that audience, same with Oh. He isn’t easy to digest! But that’s what I love. He’s a really fascinating character because of the amount of layers you have to get through to see his truth but the way the show is created, it’s like we get to see both sides of him simultaneously mainly because the acting is so nuanced. I love how some of the shots are so telling too to add to his state of mind like the tiny moment he’s trying to charge his phone and is in emotional turmoil and he’s driving in circles on the road like he just can’t make himself go home in the opposite direction to Oh and like the moments when he just can’t express himself and just collapses all over stuff 😂 how can you not love him? He’s brilliant. He’s intense, a cry baby at times, arrogant at others! He’s silly and petty and sweet and over the top and had a fabulous array of Hawaiian shirts! His journey in self discovery with Oh, his family, Tarn, himself and his dreams is just so meaningful that by the end he LOOKS different, acts so different (that whole end montage is just ever so sweet from his perspective as he’s so relaxed and not once does he do his nervous Teh thing) and is so confident in himself and sure about many things, even in terms of his dream accepting its fundamental that it exists in his heart and as his passion more than as something to prove
I genuinely adore his character and I think BK did a fucking spectacular job at portraying a complex, loveable, tricky young LGBT+ soul. I’m always down for weird characters and complex souls who are difficult to decode and isn’t that the damn title of the show?! 😂 (well, the Thai version!). Isn’t that what Oh does and what the entire show is about? It’s the foundation of the message and the story - translating your feelings and your identity and finding someone who can maybe do that when you can’t or who will try etc - but above all, working yourself out. I can see how he’d be a little bit of a marmite character at times as early on he is a bit of a dick but the writing and acting makes complete and utter sense as to why and god do I love when writing is capable of taking characters from that to the other end of the spectrum carefully and navigating the depths of a character... and using subtext and metaphors and every possible trick in the book to manage it.
I mean, Teh uses every possible method he can to express himself and try to work himself out from actually verbalising right down to flash cards, physical movement, silence, Instagram, scent, touch, food, distance, Chinese language, hidden meanings, colour, gestures, fictional characters and double meaning. There’s no way I wasn’t going to be absolutely fond of a character like that?
How can you not adore him in that moment at sunset when he’s just staring at it crying and you can SEE the relief and gratitude and peace. Ugh makes me cry just thinking about it.
So yeah, clearly I have nothing to say about this show 😂 so glad you loved it too. I had no clue it was always intended to be 2 parts and that a second part was due until I got to the end of the last episode and saw the teaser! If the last 5 episodes are even close to being as bloody magical as the first 5 then I’m down for another 5-6 hours of being emotionally compromised! I have a lot to say about this show and I doubt anyone wants to read it but when shows get to me like this all I want to do is ramble about them which obvs happened ridiculously with Skam It s2/4 and other shows but I think it’s all been said already 😂 i must ask my mum to tell me again about her time living in Phuket because I’m certain I recognised a couple of places from her photos and it made me miss when I’d receive her home videos when I was a teenager and she lived over there 🥺
Feel free to come shout at me about the show btw. I don’t know many who have watched it and so I’m kinda shouting into a void 😂
I hope you’re well though and hello again - your message made me smile a lot!
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serenagaywaterford · 5 years
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6) a flip of the dime. The nasty parts were always there, but he concealed/controlled them. Maybe bc said parts wouldn't exactly make him endearing to others? Anyhow, your interpretation makes him quite the interesting antagonist/villain, so I'm rolling with it, lol. /// There was another thing that was bugging me about S2: the baby's name. Obviously, Serena chose Nic(h)ole as a "fuck you" to Fred. But June in the finale? Of course, she stuck to it for Nick's sake, but also bc she recognized
7) Serena’s selfless (well, if you can call it that) act. Thoughts on this? /// As for your older responses, I forgot to describe what an epiphany it was for me to realize the significance of Serena’s use of the word “rape” for the first time. The anger I felt after 2x10 blinded me to the VERY OBVIOUS connection between her realization in 2x10 and her outburst in 2x11. (Silly me!) Imagine how much more intense that fight would have been if they included the marital rape. I remember a writer
8) that June didn’t kill Serena, bc she actually felt sorry for her in that episode. (Ngl, June’s kindness baffles me at times.) I knew that she wasn’t gonna do it of course, but it was 50/50 whether I wanted her to shoot them or not. /// Something I have not addressed so far is how lukewarm I found their explanation for June getting away with all the shit she does. Well, she’s no Janine (who loses an eye) or Emily (who gets mutilated), but still. Like you said, Serena and Fred might get away
9) get away with a lot more bc of their privilege, but June? Hm. // I’ll start quoting later (or maaaybe tomorrow).
———–
I always thought that was a really weird sort of thing for June to do. And it seems to be entirely because of Serena? Like, it was Holly, Holly, Holly. Even when she was talking to Nick. Then she has the exchange with Serena, and suddenly she adopts Serena’s supreme dickmove of a babyname? 
And I LIKED Holly. It meant something. Nichole (I HATE THAT SPELLING SFM LMAO) means nothing to June? Can you imagine the convo: 
“Mommy, why am I called Nichole?”
“Well, baby, you see, your Daddy’s name is Nick, so the lady that stole you decided to name you after him to eternally piss off her husband who she clearly hates and wanted him to be reminded that he’s impotent every time he looks at you.”
Like, on the one hand, Serena is fucking brilliant and it just shows the extent of her hatred for Fred. But then it’s kinda shitty to use a child as a pawn in that.
Then again, maybe there’s another reason Serena chose that name? I know there’s like a whole history about St. Nicholas and his role as a patron saint of childless couples, or something. (I can’t recall exactly rn). And there was something about St. Nicolette and babies. (Which is where the names Nicole and Collette come from.) Something like she raised a dead baby back to life. So, I guess, at a stretch perhaps that was her inspiration? I doubt it, knowing Serena. LOL.
It’s really curious June’s decision though. Despite EVERYTHING Serena’s done, June just wipes it clean and names her fucking baby after Serena’s choice? Maybe she was trying to retain the memory of Nick for Nichole? I dunno. And not only that, but she seemed 100% genuine when she said that farewell blessing and held Serena’s hand (again). 
I dunno, June’s own preoccupation with Serena is something I don’t truly understand but she clearly thinks there’s some odd connection or something. It’s funny cos I was reading a review about S2 and June’s choices in the finale, and her constant support of Serena despite ALL the reasons not to, and lemme see if I can find it… 
 Nah. I can’t. Anyway, it was something about how we all know June’s going back for Hannah, but this writer thought June was also going back for Serena.
I’m not convinced about that tbh, but I can see the argument cos June is strangely protective and compassionate towards Serena considering. I just have a sinking feeling that the show is gonna play that “Oops, Serena is evil again!! SHE WAY MAD JUNE GIVE BABBY AWAY trolololol!!!!” and make her despicable in order to get Nicole back. If that is the case, I’m gonna roll my eyes right outta my head. I have no issue with Serena having regrets, tbh. I think that’s pretty understandable and expected. But having Serena go hogwild with abuse and using Fred’s power to get back at June or something is just going to fucking piss me off cos like, c’mon my dudes, been there, done that. Over and over already. It’s the 3rd season and either you’re gonna put this bitch on a mild redemption arc or you’re gonna make her a full-on villain. Make up your minds. The will-she, won’t-she thing is old by now.
I dunno that was a random OT rant.
Also, TRUTH! Serena’s use of the word “rape” was important. Like, part of me is like DUH how did you JUST figure that out?! And, honestly I feel like the marital rape is sort of necessary for Serena’s epiphany to get recognised. I think, Serena is just wilfully ignorant enough to not truly consider the Ceremony rape. I honestly do not think she totally understood what she was suggesting with the 2x10 rape. (Serena really does lack forethought for like…all of her actions. That’s sorta her whole problem.) I think she thought it would be just like a sort of unsanctioned ceremony. But by the end she did seem to recognise what it truly was. And having her raped by Fred in the previous episode would have really helped with that. (Then again, it’s really hard to understand how a woman who was just raped turns around and basically suggests it. And this person is supposed to be not Satan. A pure evil woman sure. But Serena’s not meant to be that.)
I think Yvonne’s delivery of the line was interesting too. Part of it was like, “HOly shit it was rape” and part of it was like, “ha! you’re a monster!! you did that!” Like she had no culpability in it. I want to know if Serena has realised that ALL ceremonies are RAPE yet. I wonder if she’s got there. I’m not totally convinced she has. But… I dunno.
Oh! I hadn’t read that about June’s reasoning! That’s interesting. I mean, it fits with June overall but it’s a very odd thing. Like, to be holding a gun trained on the couple that literally held you down and raped you not 24 hours earlier… and feel SORRY for the woman (whereas the general population’s consensus is that Serena is even worse than Fred for doing that to another woman)? I went and watched it after reading your message I didn’t really see that on June’s face. (But that’s really neither here nor there since editing, directing, etc. all differs from what the writers/showrunners had in mind and those are the guys doing the interviews!)  I take that back! I watched it again and I can deffo see that if that’s what they were going for. Totally missed it and likely wouldn’t have picked up on it if not for this convo.
That said, I totally see June reasoning it out that way. For some strange reason, whether it’s Stockholm Syndrome or whatever, June seems to have a blindspot/softspot for Serena and she seems to have unlimited Get Out Of Jail Free cards for her. Like, c’mon, she literally held her down to be brutally raped, and at this point it seems like Serena could murder June and June’s ghost would just be like, “Hey youuuuu, wanna be my bestie in overthrowing the patriarchy?” (Okay, I’m not at all complaining cos I love their dynamic and I ship them soooooo… lol. On a personal level, it works very well for me and my crackshippy fantasies. I choose to believe June honestly sees something nobody else does and believes in Serena’s capacity for redemption–WHICH IS INSANE. But hey. I love it.)
So, for June to feel sorry for Serena, even after everything really does fit when you think about it. And also when you think about book!June’s attitude towards true power being in forgiveness.
I remember sitting around watching the ep the first time and thinking “I don’t want June to shoot them and be a killer” but also, “WHY ISN’T SHE SHOOTING THE FUCKING PLACE UP! DOES SHE NOT WANT TO ESCAPE????” And I was sitting there with the wifey and she was like, “She can’t. What if she misses? Then you’ve got 2 incredibly angry people chasing you.” And I was like… “Uh. Reload? Shoot them as they’re coming up the stairs.”
Because I have never fired a gun in my life so to me it seems really easy lmao. But to me, I didn’t even care about her shooting Serena but I did have an inkling she didn’t want to shoot Serena with the amount she paused. That would have been a perfect shot with teh type of ammo to take out –or at least injure– two people at once. I was like, “You gotta kill Fred and Serena is pretty useless then. It’s not like they have mobile phones! You can then choose to leave Serena to die there lol, or hostage her. And steal the car. You could get pretty far since nobody knows that Fred/Serena are even there.” To me, rationally, it didnt’ make sense not to shoot them. But… emotionally, obvs, I knew she wouldn’t cos a)the series would like… end rather abruptly lol, and b) that’s just not June.
AND yeah, June getting away with all her bullshit is insane in comparison. Janine literally lost an eye for backtalking once at the Red Centre! June has, well, done so much more and just kind skates away from ALL serious punishment. (Well, living with Fred and Serena is a pretty awful punishment in general.) And, sure part of it was cos she was preggers but … how Aunt Lydia/Fred/Serena/TPTB trust this crazy Handmaid not to KEEP breaking the rules is insane. I feel like nobody would trust her to just be a docile little thing after running away for 92 days. Not even Pervy Freddo. Despite all his creeptastic fetishes, he’d be like, “OMG she is way too high maintenance. i just don’t have the patience. give me that baby so i can shut my annoying wife up and then get me another more docile babyslave to play Scrabble and shave!” The plot armour is strong in this one!
Anyway! I got a bit carried away there…
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