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upsidedownwithsteve · 2 years

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Promptober: Day Sixteen

Steve Harrington x fem!reader 1065 words.

Steve was already on his way over when the power cut out. With your parents away for the weekend, your house seemed so much larger and more empty in the dark. With the street lights off too, the only light came from the moon and you knew Hawkins well enough that the shadows in the tree line made you uneasy.

You knew what could hide in the forests.

It’s why you were perched on the stairs, arms wrapped around yourself in the dark of the hall, the moon a kaleidoscope of light through the patterned glass of the front door. And then, a rumble of an engine, the bright flash of headlights as they pulled into your driveway.

Steve didn’t have time to get to the door before you were wrenching it open and the relief on your face must’ve been palpable because the boy got out of his car and walked towards you with a little more purpose than normal.

“Hey, hey,” his hand was on your cheek and it felt like your heart rate was starting to return to normal. “Y’okay?”

You nodded, pushed your face into his chest for a beat or two, just to smell his cologne, the laundry detergent that still clung to his sweater.

“Yeah I’m fine,” you mumbled, shivering on the porch, the fresh autumn air turning frigid at night. “Just… I just don’t like the dark.”

And with good reason, Steve understood. But it had been a while since anything had happened, months since monsters and gates and death and looking over your shoulder when the sun went down.

But your boyfriend knew as well as you did what could happen when the lights went out, when they started to flicker. It was hard to try not to look for a pattern in the buzzing of electricity, to not find a hidden message, or to sit and wait for something evil to appear.

So Steve nodded, coaxed you back into the house with his arms still around you as you clasped at his jacket collar.

“I know, babe,” he told you, and his voice was soft, gentle. “But it’s just a power cut, the whole town is out.” He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, soothing. “Nothin’ more.”

This time, he stopped himself from saying.

He locked the door behind you both anyway, squinted into the dark of your home and gave you a reproachful look. “Baby, didn’t you get some candles? Or a flashlight?”

He hated the idea of you sitting in the darkness, on edge, alone and waiting for him. He’d driven faster than he should’ve across town when the street lights flickered and faded, draping Hawkins into an inky black that you usually only found out by the farms.

“They’re all in the garage,” you mumbled and well, Steve couldn’t argue.

The garage was darker than the other parts of your home, damp and filled with your dads tools and the memory of a fucking demogorgon ripping itself out of one of the brick walls.

Steve kissed your cheek, then your forehead, ducking down to catch your lips with his own and every press of his mouth told you, it’s fine, I get it, you’re okay.

“You wanna wait here and I’ll go get them?” He asked you and god, his voice was so tender it ached. His hand was encased by two of your smaller ones, all fingers linked through this, your face pressed to his bicep. “I’ll be real quick, sweetheart.”

You shook your head, nose rubbing against the rough material of his jacket and you started towards the kitchen, where the moon bounced off the tiles and lit up the door to the garage.

“S’okay, I’ll come,” you told him and shit, you sounded braver than you felt. You hated the garage. You hated the dark. “I just didn’t wanna go alone.”

Steve’s hand squeezed yours, reassuring and warm. “I know,” he said mildly, trying to not make a bigger deal out of your fear than needed. He knew you got embarrassed, even though he’d told you you didn’t need to be, even though Eddie slept with a light on too, even though Jonathan still sometimes slept on Will’s floor and Robin kept her radio on through the night because she hated the silence of being alone. “I’m here now, yeah?”

So Steve led you to the garage, kept you close and away from the crack in the wall that looked like an open wound. The roots that bled out of it were dried, black but there was a lingering threat in the air, something that whispered to you that it was quite as dead as it looked.

You pointed to a drawer, let Steve fumble around with loose change, old instructions from the sixties and some batteries until he found a flashlight, some candles and matches.

He lit the living room with them, turned the room into a safe haven of light and warmth. The fire took longer to light, Steve swearing under his breath as each match fizzed and died before it could take to the logs but eventually, the hearth lit up and the room was filled with heat.

Candles lay across the windowsill, the coffee table, neat lines of light that kept the nightmares and dark thoughts at bay. Steve joined you on the sofa, let you curl close before huffing out a laugh and tugging you onto his lap.

You pressed your face to his neck, settled back into him and the corner of the couch and hummed.

“S’that what you wanted?” He asked, one hand on your thigh, the other curled around your back. He kissed you sweetly, tasted like mint and something sugary. “Yeah?”

You weren’t brave enough to tell him that’s what you needed. That he was able to make you feel safer than anyone else could, that he kept the darkness away even in the middle of the night, that he made storms feel like summer and everything was alright when he was around.

So you nodded instead, tucked yourself into his solid frame and let him talk nonsense to you about Dustin and his latest gadget, how Robin managed to knock over an entire stand at work and god, it was exactly what you needed because you forgot all about the darkness that lay outside of your living room door.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington oneshot #stranger things fic #upsidedownwithsteve's promptober

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bylertruther · 1 year

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a collection of my thoughts + notes as i read lucas on the line —

first of all, i am, of course, feeling yet another wave of anger at all the "hot takes" that floated around cheapening lucas's season four journey or vilifying him for wanting to try new things, make a better life for himself, and be in the company of other black people that weren't related to him for once. as if his experience as a black boy doesn't make his life all that much harder, so much more complicated and isolating, even as he tries to better it. just... sigh. the more i read the more upset i felt about how fandom, no matter which one it is, treats black characters, especially ones with darker skin.

max breaks my fucking heart into a million pieces in this, over and over again.

i already know that people mischaracterize mike to a horrendous degree, but it is just... funny, for lack of a better word and in a terribly unfunny way, just how egregious it is. mike's written as such a stern stubborn hardass. he's a good older brother, and even uses that Older Brother Voice on others when necessary. he thinks motorcycles are cool, as well as the people that ride them. he's mopey and broody and irritable. he wants to fight to defend the ones he loves, but he won't do it if the offenders are bigger than him, which they often are. he fidgets with an old dnd die. he likes board and card games. he's honestly kind of a Cool^tm nerd guy—just has that standoffish vibe to him. he's the most difficult person to convince, apparently. he's also incredibly cut-to-the-chase, no-bullshit, mega blunt. of course we know that mike can be kind and sweet beyond his years, too, but i feel like that outer, more prominent layer of his—which, honestly, has persisted since the very beginning—is often cast aside by people for something more palatable. sad.

mike is the heart, i know this, everyone knows this, but... it is kind of funny that dustin and mike gave up on calling themselves a party, and what remained of them in hawkins wasn't much, didn't support lucas at all (which did hurt him a lot, because he couldn't give up hope that they eventually would), and that they only came together again like old times when will and el came down, but that togetherness went away once they left again. "look how the party fell apart just by will and el moving away." mike is the heart of the party, yes, but he relies on will, whether it be the support he offers or the inspiration he serves him, in order to be that heart. just interesting to see that repeated here, too.

the party doesn't understand or even see the racism lucas faces, which is to be expected, but still sad.

lucas is prone to nervousness and anxiety, and he clenches his hands into fists to keep them from visibly shaking. he also doesn't like the aggression that's prevalent in hyper-masculine spaces and takes note of it.

lucas's father was adopted by a white family, but they're not allowed to talk about them—ever. he's a vietnam veteran and doesn't talk about his time there either. he prefers keeping a low profile, because he feels that keeps his family, and people like them, safer. he also used to be a barber and he's the one that gives lucas his hi-top fade.

will didn't only wear jonathan's clothes. he also wore joyce's.

so many beautiful and heart-wrenching passages about the monsters of hawkins, which is a repeating motif in these tie-in books. it's classism, racism, homophobia, ableism, and so much more, and it's always there, lying in wait. those vulnerable are expected to remain small and hidden to survive, lest they become targets.

lucas has a dnd character that sounds a lot like robin hood. hashtag commie king 🤝

robin was the wise-beyond-her-years, nonjudgmental mediator between lucas, dustin, and mike. it took them hours to reconcile and she would interfere when it got too heated. lucas also felt that she would've fit right into the party were she their age.

nancy was their official chauffeur. hehe.

max flinches whenever anyone mentions neil or calls her maxine like he does. she also tried to run away on halloween, but talked herself out of it.

mike wasn't interested in dressing up for halloween because will and el were gone. max wanted to go as green lantern and lucas wanted to go as mad max, thinking he could borrow the costume from her.

eddie is apparently a freak, jackass, always high, and looks like he hasn't showered in a week. nice.

lucas knows the "i contain multitudes" walt whitman quote and it was a black boy that shared it with him. that boy, jay, also showed him james baldwin. the sinclairs are also fans of prince. 🌈 :)

i already knew this before reading, but it was nice to have even more proof that lucas is indeed the bestest boy in all of existence. this is #real and true.

#man. this book made me cry so many times lmao. fucking felt. also it was just so... good? beautiful? what a lovely dive into race and class #as well as adolescence and identity and friendship.#books #lotl #now to tag everyone...#lucas #max #mike #will #robin #i might eventually screenshot all of my highlighted passages because i want to archive those but... sigh. that's so much lol.#i'll queue them at some point. probably. hopefully.#mine

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arriansarchive · 10 months

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could you do soft dom!top!male reader x jonathan byers where it's his first time and he's really whiny but reader is super gentle about it? thank you

Sub!Jonathan Byers/Soft!Dom!Male!Reader

Ugh I love this sm

I usually don't go for soft dom reader or soft reader ANYTHING but I like this one so I tried

Warnings: my first full on smut story, so yeah fucking included

I hope it's good enough because I really do like this prompt

This might be a little short because I just don't know how to do soft smut so I'm sorry

Okay thank you anon!!!!

Summary: Jonathan's first time.

"Y/N, it hurts." Jonathan whined as you pushed into him slowly.

He had came to you earlier wanting to talk about something serious. Of course you had said yes, and he told you that he wanted you to fuck him.

Now this surprised you since Jonathan never really seemed the type to want to do this. You asked him why he just decided this now.

He seemed content in letting your mind roam around the fact and simply climbed on top of you, kissing roughly.

A second later clothes were off, and that's how you got here with Jonathan whining under you. You felt a little bad for him since it was his first time, but you also knew that he would say his word if he felt too bad about it.

"I get that, but if you want to do this you'll have to stick with it for a second or two." You grunt and push in a little further to which he gives a groan.

"You haven't ever taken it up the ass. Do you really get it?" He asked incredulously.

You raise an eyebrow in question. "How would you know?"

"Have you taken a look at yourself?"

"You might be right, but that was just rude."

You smiled softly whenever your hips hit him, and you were all the way in. Jonathan had gotten so distracted by talking that he didn't even notice that you were pushing into him bit by bit.

You saw something in his face flicker from pain to pleasure. His eyes grew a little darker, and Jonathan's bottom lip was crushed in-between his teeth

You started to pull out, moans from both of you filling the room. The warmness radiating from your bodies could heat an entire room.

You looked down at your boyfriend's stomach to see pre-cum leaking from his tip, beads of it rolling down and onto the bottom of his diaphragm.

You pushed back in while stroking him painfully slowly. He arched his back in ecstasy, and you got a smug smile on your face.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked, pausing to wince between words.

"I'm just happy to be your first." You admit and put your hands down on his hips to grind him against you quicker.

You felt your release coming and stuttered out a warning that went to deaf ears.

Again it was said. "Jonathan, where?"

He mumbled something along the lines of 'not in', so you obliged and pulled out swiftly. You took both of yourselves in one hand and slid up and down furiously.

You groaned out as he let a whine slip whenever you both came. Your hand was now covered, and it made slick noises until you eventually got down from your high.

"That was almost too good." He breathed.

You chuckled and little and went to grab a rag to clean you both off. After that was finished, you collapsed next to him.

He pulled you towards him and hugged tightly, thanking you silently.

Before you dozed off you heard him utter. "I love you."

#jonathan byers x male reader #jonathan byers #jonathan byers x you #jonathan byers x reader #stranger things #fanfiction

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decaffeinatedharmonycycle · 30 days

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Point Nemo

[Jonathan Crane x Reader]

[Jonathan Crane x fem!Reader]

Warnings: 18+, no mention of y/n, mentions of torture, gruesome descriptions of injury and mind matters, shameless smut, dacryphilia, Jonathan Crane because he is his own warning, dead dove;do not eat <you know what you're getting into>

Word count: 4k

Summary: Jonathan Crane is still working at the asylum, perfecting his fear toxin with your help. You do not find the enjoyment that he does in the experiments though and a night of comfort develops into more.

~~~

You hummed quietly, a simple song coursing through your mind, eyes focused on the paperwork in front of you. The rain hadn´t stopped for days now and you had started getting used to the rhythmic pattering against the windows of the Asylum that was the core of your studies. You had gotten used to many things over the years, though some had painted your mind in darker colours than you would´ve liked them to. The door behind you opened with a soft crack, the old wood aching under the impact of being moved, but it didn´t urge you to turn around. The door ached once more, announcing that it was being closed again, followed by steps that were as rhythmic as the rain itself. Jonathan sat down on your bed, not finding it in himself to utter any sort of greeting as he looked over his own stack of paper. You had started your work for the asylum two years ago, freshly out of college at the time, knowing that it was the best chance at getting to further your research in the field of complex traumatic exposure.

Technically, you had been right in that assumption, yet you would not have dared to imagine just how far you needed to go to achieve that goal.

The first weeks had spent watching silently, your eyes observing everything that they could get a grasp on, but it had quickly turned into more when you noticed the work of Dr. Crane, his experiments with the subject of fear intriguing you in a way that walked the line between being appalled and fascinated. You had taken to shadowing Jonathan after talking to some of the others about his experiments, after being assured his work was allowed and it turned out that Jonathan didn´t mind it much. Watching turned to helping and helping turned to you becoming his partner sooner than you had anticipated, the flash of his dark hair and those striking blue eyes had steadily grown to be your favourite sight. Jonathan and you didn´t talk much, at least not outside of your shared studies, but you didn´t need to. He was brilliant, more so than anyone you had ever met and you took whatever he was willing to give you, each day filled with some new knowledge that threatened to overwhelmed the boarders of what felt possible to you.

Where the days were loud and had you in a constant struggle, the nights were almost eerily silent, making you thankful that Jonathan had made it a habit to sneak into your room whenever you needed some company. You had no idea how he managed to know exactly when the sharpness of your mind was at its end, yet when it did he was always there, looming close but not to close for comfort. It had scared you when you were younger, the quiet slip of his form as it slid through your door in the darkness and the way he seemed to need a reminder to have polite small talk, but you had picked up on the fact that he was doing this for you after almost half a year. It was strange, utterly and completely strange, that the two of you had found peace in a place that was far from the sense of the word, your own presence here only adding to that. It was why you needed Jonathan´s presence after all, the things you did by daylight.

When you were alone you saw their faces, remembering each and every name, the horror you and Jonathan instilled into their minds over and over again until you reached the result you hoped for. You would stop if you could, but then it would have been wasted, years of research and study, thrown into the bin. You couldn´t have that and you were certain Jonathan felt the same way. He never let you do the dirty work, instead allowing you to build his subjects back up after they had been subjected to the toxin he had worked on for longer than the two of you knew each other. He had been called crazy for what he was doing and you could not help but think the same thing. In a way, the both of you were no better than your subjects, but you had the luck of being on the acceptable side of the soundproof wall. That was what it was, was it not? Luck. Your hands combed through your hair, the motion absentminded and meant to soothe the restlessness of your troubled mind. You were afraid, oh how ironic, of failing the project in its entirety.

There had been some subjects that had not shown any improvement after being induced with the toxin, those were the images that haunted you the most. Their faces had been twisted, fingers clenched around their beds so hard that they were broken in some cases. You visited them often, taking time to talk to them softly, to read them stories and the news, but none had ever come back from that crazed look. You had taken to call it stage nemo, the point of no return, after the earth´s farthest point from land. Jonathan however did not concern himself with the shells of humans he left behind and you would have been mad at him, screamed at him or hit him to make him see that he should care for what your experiments did to them if you could. It would have been useless, sometimes it felt as if he was satisfied with exactly those results, so you did not, just trying to tend to them yourself. If you could travel back in time and make it all undone you would, but those thoughts were void of meaning now. You were in too deep and the hope that all of this trouble would one day be worth it had a hold on your mind that was painful but addicting as well. You believed in Jonathan´s ideas, his vision of a better world and god, you could not care less if everyone else judged you for it. You did plenty of that yourself.

True intelligence was something that was impossible to contain, it worked beyond the understanding of moral and order, beyond the laws of the universe itself and you had never doubted that Jonathan had all of it. He was above everyone else, more of a concept than an actual person inside the deranged depth of your very own mind. He was perfection and as that, he could do no wrong. If this world were any different, it would be the two of you getting needles stuck into your skin. You felt a shiver run down your spine, it must have barely been visible, but it was enough for Jonathan to notice, his frame suddenly behind you, his fingertips placing a small stroke onto the soft skin of your shoulders. "Don't get into your head." Jonathan whispered, the words soothing you slightly. The knowledge that those hands had caused suffering beyond your imagination was ever present though, but you still decided to shut it out and for once succumb to the flutter of your stomach and the way his touch incited a different kind of nervousness inside of you.

You couldn´t remember when he had first touched you, if it had started with a slip of his thin fingers over your hand when you worked on your research or if it had been a night just like this, dark and gloomy with only the moon to keep you company, but you knew that it had always gotten your mind to quiet down for a moment and if only for that fact, you craved each second of his skin on yours. Jonathan himself felt a different, yet similar, way around you. He had been a man of obsession for all his life, you were no exception to that fact. He was observant, taking note of the way you had followed him around when you arrived in Arkahm. It had grabbed his attention immediately, at first with plain curiosity, but that feeling had grown to fondness disregarding how much he scolded himself for allowing those thoughts to enter his mind.

It had taken him some time to allow you in, the change in his behaviour so small that it would seem insignificant to anyone else. You were not anyone else though, having taken each step closer in stride, the way you never hardened towards him confusing the living hell out of the man. His work was well respected, but people stayed far away from him when they could, his presence a silent reminder of the sheer cruelty it took to do what he did, to achieve what he achieved. You had not moved away, instead staying by his side like the shadow that you were, persistent but not overly close. It had annoyed him, but he´d found himself more and more curious to know what made you act the way you did. You had to be some kind of abnormal to be like you were, but he had never found the fault he was desperately reaching for, clawing at the hope that there had to be something that could give him reason enough to push you away like a dog at its owner’s door. He had never found it and somewhere along the passage of time, he´d accepted the way things were. If he could not get you away, he thought he might as well get some use out of you and so he started involving you in his research.

When you had seemed shocked he was convinced that this was the point that you would back out, but you didn´t, even proving yourself useful. You tried to understand what no one else but him had dared to think, your pretty little mind struggling to grasp the concept of his experiments. It was not until a few weeks later that he had realized that all of it was taking a tool on you, that despite helping him, you did not share the depraved desire, the obsession, to see the full effect that pure terror could have if it was unleashed on the human mind. You did not enjoy it and although it disappointed him, he knew that your work had furthered his research considerably, though he would never even think of saying that out loud. He wanted you to stay sane for as long as he could keep you that way. That was the moment he had first made his way into your room at night, not explaining himself at all and just sitting down on your bed for a few hours.

He had not expected it to become a regular thing, but sooner or later it had become his own sick kind of a routine to scare away the very demons that he himself had allowed into your life. It had worked for some time, yet not long enough, your mind getting used to falling into darkness even in his presence. He had tried talking to you, but soothing words were not enough to keep the monsters of the day from haunting you until late at night, until sleep overtook your body and granted you a few rare hours of blissful ignorance. He had found out that you reacted better to touch, treating the whole thing much like his experiments and trying out every solution that he could come up with. It wasn´t that complicated in the end, a single stroke of his hands over your hair enough to calm your racing thoughts most of the time. Sometimes though, even that did not suffice and the horror continued to plague you in your sleep. When it wasn´t he pulled you close, falling into the habit of staying with you until sunrise so he´d be there to calm you when you woke from yet another nightmare.

His behaviour could easily be mistaken as softness and in a way, maybe, just maybe it was, but he didn´t do it for your sake. He needed you, your work making his own research undeniably easier and he wouldn´t lose the chance to perfect his formula because he was foolish enough not to make sure his partner was capable of doing as he needed her to. That notion was not entirely true though, the man finding himself seeking your company almost every night, finding excuse after excuse to do so. He did it just in case you were not well, that is what he had taken to tell himself. Just in case, that was also what he told himself when he had fallen asleep in your bed for the first time, waking up long before you did, the moon casting a soft light on your skin. He had been tempted to let his hands roam over you right there, but the thought of waking you up did not sit right with him.

Jonathan wondered what drove you to find his presence comforting when it was you who saw all of his darkness in its worst way every day, so much so that it had disrupted his work one day, his thoughts everywhere but where they should be. You made him angry like no one else could, but you had stayed. You would always stay; he had accepted that. Some days even had him debating with himself if making you go back home would be the better option, but that perspective had made him throw a whole vial of fear toxin across the room in frustration and accidentally exposing himself to it. He was immune, he had been since some particularly rough encounters, but when he breathed in deeply, he had found his heart racing in his chest and his breath catching in his throat for the first time in years. He expected the usual, death or torture but that was not what he saw when the hallucinations set in. He saw you. Your bags were packed and you did not look at him, walking out of the Asylum, never turning back and Jonathan panicked, reminding himself that this was only a hallucination. It was not real, it would never be real and he would make sure of that. No one would ever hurt you, no one would ever take you away from him. You were his, you had been his from the moment you decided to take this job, but he felt no need to allow you any knowledge of it.

You looked up at Jonathan, the present moment soothing you enough for your bones to ache with the exhaustion of the day, meeting his blue eyes and growing warm as you took note of the supple softness that had taken the edge off of his sharp features, his usually pursed lips locked into something that could have been described as the ghost of a smile, but it was so subtle that you would have missed it if you did as much as blink. “Can we go to bed?” You asked, your voice breaking the silence so suddenly that you almost regretted speaking up at all. “Of course.” Jonathan stated, his own voice achingly smooth, making you ask yourself if it was possible to grab a hold of someone’s voice just to feel running trough your hands.

Jonathan moved away, clearing the bed of his paperwork, setting it down on your desk in a neat pile. Of course he would not let it lay around in a mess. You slipped under the covers, embracing the warmth that still lingered below them. You did not want to sleep alone tonight, longing to be held and feeling the strength to deny that fade from your body as soon as you felt Jonathan settle beside you. His body was familiar to you, each curve of his frame edged into the part of your mind that you fought to forget so much, your head settling against his chest as one of his arms wrapped around you, his slender fingers drawing slow circle on your waist. “Need anything?” Jonathan asked, his words speaking of a tension that you were not able to pinpoint. “Could you stay with me?” You asked, hesitating to ask him but eventually overcome by the need to be close. Jonathan froze for a second, as if you had struck him down with a brick. It did not last long, the hand that wasn´t laying at your waist coming up to your jaw and turning your head up to look at him, your heart skipping a beat with the sheer intensity of his gaze. You were used to his stare being cold, calculated or even angry, yet this was different. This look, it was careful, making him look as if he was trying to tame a hurt animal. You could almost get lost in it, oceans and rivers pouring from a single man’s gaze.

“Why?” He asked, sounding entirely to unsure of the answer he expected to hear, maybe he did not know what the answer he wanted to hear even was. It was confusing to you, seeing him like this, but you could not pull away, could not stop yourself from craving whatever was happening. “I don´t know.” You answered, honestly not sure yourself. Jonathan did what he had always done, analysing you instead of waiting for an actual answer, just that this time around it did not take him more than a split second until he pulled you flush against him, placing an experimental kiss to your lips. He pulled back just as quickly as he had come, his eyes never leaving the mess that you were, searching your face for any kind of reaction. You were shocked for no more than the time it had taken for him to pull back, somehow having expected this moment. You had hoped for it and now it was there, but it had been so quick that you barely felt it and you were having none of it. You adored him more than anyone else, if he wanted a kiss from you, you wanted the chance to prove that you were worth it, one of your hands coming up to tangle in the hair on the back of his neck hesitantly. God, you did not know what you were trying to do, emotions rushing through your body as if they had been held back by a leash for all of your life and yet you showed none of it. For all the rush you felt, it was not overwhelming, it was peaceful.

Jonathan did not need more than that, his lips almost crushing yours with a vigour that damn near rivalled the way he was with his work, his intensity returning in full force. He did not ask himself anything anymore, he did not want to, it made no sense either way, he just knew he craved this as much as he craved to be perfect, his whole body aching to get closer to you. The passion that you returned when you kissed him back made his mind blank, one of his hands finding your waist and holding you tightly while the other made its way down to your thighs painfully slow in its pursuit, taking his time in savouring this properly. You gave a soft sigh, quickly hushing yourself as you fell into a state of worry that you had somehow broken the spell of the moment, your expression twisting into one of concern.

“You liked that, didn´t you?” He asked, not allowing you any time to realized that he did not mind your behaviour at all, his experimental nature returning to him more with each moment, his fingertips grazing over the inside of your thigh and his body relaxing at the same moment. He did not need you to answer that question either, the knowledge that you were already his dawning on him with a warmth that made his breath grow irregular. You gave a court nod, still embarrassed that it took so little to make you practically fall apart at his touch, but Jonathan had other plans. “Use your words.” He demanded, the words sharp while his tone stayed gentle. You could get out of this, that was what you needed to remind yourself of, but if you were being honest, you would do anything for him and he knew it. “I did.” You hummed, voice barely holding up anymore. Holy hell, this was humiliating enough without you stuttering like a damn idiot. The humiliation faded into a cry as his fingers found their way to your cunt, your reward for listening without a doubt, drawing a line over your underwear, the silk fabric sticking to the wetness that had gathered there.

“If only you could see yourself right now.” Jonathan´s voice had dropped lower, a dark rasp that made you shiver once again as you felt the sheer vibrato of it hit the sensitive skin of your neck, his lips finding the spot right below your jaw and placing sloppy kisses wherever you you would let him. If you could see yourself right now you were pretty sure you would fade out of existence, but you could not, the only thing in your field of view being the man that had settled above you now. Your hands had latched onto his back, fisting the cotton of his shirt harder than you should, making you pray that you would not rip it on accident. If you had known that that little action alone was enough to make his pants strain against his cock painfully, you would've had him then and there. He was beautiful, looking perfectly angelic with his full lips, his hair falling slightly into his face and his shirt unbottoned half way. You couldn't remember opening it up, but you didn't care, grateful for the inch of skin that he let you see.

Jonathan pushed your panties aside without much effort, his own eyes growing hazed with the heavy feeling of want seeping into his very core like it had never done before. He needed you, needed each piece he could get and it was frustrating him more than you could begin to imagine. He watched your reaction patiently, taking care not to move on to quick with everything, but the way your head fell back against the pillows and your lips parted when he let his fingers glide over you without any layers to separate your skin and his told him all he needed to know. It wasn't long until he slipped one of his fingers into you, your hips bucking into the movement involuntarily as he added another finger, a smile of amusement coming to grace his lips. He gave you time to adjust, only moving his fingers after you had relaxed, finally pumping them into you slowly, his thumb still swiping over your clit in lazy circles.

You were aware that you would not last long like this, forcing yourself to form a half coherent thought so you could manage to speak up. “Please.” You muttered the word, not knowing how else to formulate the plea.

Jonathan wanted to tease you further badly, maybe to get you over the edge before he even gave you any part of himself or to make you spell out that you actually wanted him, the control he held in that moment more pleasing than an entire week of research. He did not do so though, instead allowing your hands to roam lower on his body until they had found his pants, gasping as you felt the strain they were under and rushing to free him. You did not even have the patience to shrug of his pants entierly, just pulling him out after you unzipped his pants.

You took a moment to admire his length, swallowing hard as you doubted that you could take him. Jonathan picked up on your nervousness, letting a hand come back up to your face and making you look at him firmly, his eyes demanding and soothing all at once. "I'll be gentle." Jonathan cooed, your mind instantly falling into hazy adoration as it always did when you looked at him. When he actually pushed into you though, he was not entierly gentle, his girth feeling like it was splitting you open as he pushed in to the hilt with a single thrust, a groan falling from his lips. You gasped, hands gripping uselessly at the sheets and your eyes welling with tears at the combination of pain and pleasure.

You had no way to adjust this time, his thrust setting a steady rhythm as they hit you just where you wanted them to, brushing over just the right spot again and again. The tears were falling down your cheeks, the feeling overwhelming you so much that it made you cry and moan at the same time. Jonathan did not think about stopping once, the tears that ran down your face making a whole diffrent kind of his mind light up in utter fascination. You were perfect to him in that moment, crying and breathing hard just for him, just because of him. He plunged into you once more, his thumb coming back to your clit and eliciting yet another sigh from your lips.

You had been with men before, but no one had ever come close to making you feel like this, your hips moving to meet his thrusts entierly on their own, not taking long to topple over the peak of your ecstasy, drowning in pure pleasure with a sob. Jonathan felt you clench down on him in rhymic waves, your walls wrapping around him in the most delicious way and he leaned forward, eyebrows furrowed and lips parted in a sigh as he spilled into you.

You did not speak, did not move, neither of you wanting to change the situation until Jonathan let himself settle beside you again, pulling you close to him. To him, this was as close to heaven as he would ever get, salvation for a sinner that was beyond redemption. To you, it was your very own point nemo. The point of no return, of being utterly lost, of being found. "Do you want to leave?" You asked, not wanting to make him feel like he had some obligation to you, even though you yourself were still panting heavily, the afterglow still clouding your mind and preventing any thoughts about the future. "No." Jonathan stated, the word simple, but still making you want to jump with joy. Only then did the exhaustion finally get a hold of you, your eyes closing just as he pressed a kiss onto your head.

~~~

#jonathan crane #jonathan crane x reader #batman #nolanverse #fanfiction #smut #Spotify

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strickland527 · 2 years

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Jonathan and Joyce

I think one relationship that has been utterly ignored by the show since season one is the one between Jonathan and his mother. I’m struggling to think of a single scene with any kind of heft behind it that they’ve shared since that first season. And that’s a damned shame because there was SO much drama to be mined from what that first season sets up. Instead in the three seasons since, they hardly interact and get defined by their love lives.

I should add before I start that this isn’t a criticism of Joyce. As someone who was raised at times by a single mother, it’s an impossible situation to be in. It’s not her fault. But that doesn’t negate (sadly) the real damage done to her kids, Jonathan in particular.

Season one sets up that Joyce is a hard working single mother that also has had a tough time of it emotionally. In many ways Jonathan is the rock that the Byers family prior to season one is built upon. Joyce, we are told. has “anxiety issues” and Jonathan is seen both trying to help her through those issues “you need to eat” and also to push her through “this is not a good time for you to shut down”. Which is notable since it shows he’s had to deal with this in the past. He’s 15/16 in season one. So on top of all his responsibilities to Will and the house as a whole, he’s seemingly got some emotional caretaker responsibilities to his overwhelmed mother.

In one of those early episodes, Karen Wheeler asks Joyce how Jonathan is doing. And she responds, “he’s ALWAYS been good at taking care of himself”. Which is about as sad a line as any Stranger Things character has uttered. Joyce is all but admitting in this scene that Jonathan has been on his own for a long time, emotionally, and that he’s learned to cope with it. Again, he’s 15/16 in season one It’s also something that, while she believes it, is also wildly untrue. Jonathan is pretty fucking far from okay.

And that’s before we get into the Lonnie of it all. Adding abuse to Jonathan’s parentification is something that makes the situation darker and even more complex. I don’t think it’s a bridge too far to say that Lonnie emotionally abused Joyce, Jonathan and Will. I think that’s pretty much canon. As is his physical abuse of Jonathan. Did he physically abuse Will or Joyce? I’m less certain of that. I can see either way.

But Jonathan was physically abused by Lonnie. Joyce either knew and did nothing about it (which doesn’t really jibe with what we know of Joyce) or she never knew about it. And given she was working all the time and the scene where Lonnie tells Jonathan to keep quiet for Joyce’s sake, this seems like the logical answer. But either way, Jonathan was physically abused by his father and Joyce wasn’t there to protect him from it. Add into it that the show intentionally parallels the Demogorgon/Mind Flayer and Lonnie multiple times and we see over seasons 1 and 2 just how far Joyce is willing to go for Will but seemingly didn’t go for Jonathan when he was a kid. Is that fair to Joyce? Absolutely not. But it’s there.

In season two Joyce is in a relationship with Bob, one of the nicest guys in the show. Jonathan is, as Bob says to Joyce, “a tough nut to crack.” Lonnie has given him major trust issues. Does Joyce talk to Jonathan about it? Nope. And Bob is killed before they can get into it.

At this point, all I can pretty much hope for is one scene where Joyce (and maybe Will) acknowledges what Jonathan sacrificed for his family. And then tells him to live for himself, to follow his dreams. Be that Emerson with Nancy or NYU by himself or even community college in California.

Do I think the show gives us even that? I hope so, but remain skeptical. My guess is that lots of season 5 for Jonathan Byers involves a love triangle that no one really wants.

#stranger things #jonathan byers #joyce byers #will byers #nancy wheeler

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kingofjohto · 2 years

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HEADCANON TIME|| Will Byers X M!Reader & rest of party take part in the school musical

Also this takes place AFTER season 4 so SPOILERS. Also this takes place during the year after season 4, so let’s pretend this is a world where after season 4 they beat Vecna and everyone survives also Max wakes up and recovers! She’s still blind, and don’t ever expect me to write that out.

Note: I had to look up stuff for the DND reference so something with that could be incorrect but I still don’t know much about it, sorry!

You were the first to notice the audition posters around the school and you immediately brought it up the next time the party got together

Almost everyone immediately shot down the idea, but after a while you were able to convince them to do SOMETHING

You were the only one to go for cast, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin all went for running crew, while Will and El both decided to help with costumes

After waiting a few weeks, the cast list finally came back, and you got the role of the prince! Everyone was happy for you, especially Will.

During rehearsals, they began fitting people for costumes, and of course, Will wanted to do yours. He wanted his Prince to look as best as possible.

You would go Over to the Byers house and practice your Lines with Will and El, and whenever El was busy you and Will would practice the romantic scenes.

You absolutely loved practicing your Lines with Will while he worked on his Costumes. He showed you all the different Costumes he had designed with El, but refused to show you your costume, because he wanted it to be a surprise

Eventually dress rehearsals started, and everyone had to get into costume. Will made you put on a blindfold and then helped you get into yours so it would be a surprise

When he took it off, the first thing you noticed was the crown. It was tall, and there was a large jewel in the center that crown, which was painted to look like an Aquamarine. The regal suit itself was a mix of lighter and darker shades of blue and black, with white undertones, and the cape itself was long, with a navy blue color and galaxy pattern weaving itself down, folding like a reflection. That’s when you noticed the pattern in the stars on the cape. It was Ursa Major.

You were enamored with the suit, and with Will as well. The reason the suit was special is because it was based on your DND character, a level 12 Water Genasi, known as the Son of Ursa Major, Caspain

Only the people in the party understood what the suit meant, Mike thought it was Sappy (Eleven quickly shut him up) and the rest of the party thought it was sweet.

When Lucas described the suit to Max she too agreed it was Sappy, but still pretty cute. She was really excited about the show and when tickets started selling she bought one for every show night.

Eventually those nights came. Everything was going well backstage, and all your lines were memorized thanks to your constant training with Will and El.

On the first night Max came, Nancy, Jonathan, Erica, and Steve all came along with her (Robin was in the pit orchestra because Vickie convinced her to join.) and Erica would describe everything that was going on in the scene while Max listened to dialogue (and would quickly silence anyone who dared to try and silence her)

The last 2 nights Max came, she didn’t need Erica. She already knew what was happening and she brought Lucas a single rose every time.

Each show got a huge round of applause at the end, by the last show almost all of Hawkins has seen it, and it was the best show they had put on in quite a while.

On the last night, after the curtains closed, you gave Will the deepest hug you’d given anyone. You had all put months of time into it, and it was so worth it. He also got you a huge bouquet of red roses, which you put in a vase in your room and smelled them every morning.

You got to keep the Crown from your costume, but you’d decided to give it to Will, and he kept it on his night stand next to his bed.

The first thing you all did once you got back together afterwards was start preparing for the next theater performance.

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #will byers x reader #will byers #will byers x male reader #will byers x male!reader #stranger things headcanons

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racefortheironthrone · 1 year

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Do you have any recommendations on where to start reading X-Men comics? I've always found the idea and the characters interesting but the massive amount of content has felt intimidating to say the least.

Sure. Let me update my old recommendations:

First, it's really hard to go wrong with the Claremont run. Marvel Unlimited makes it pretty easy: start with Giant-Size X-Men #1 and then that goes straight into X-Men #94 and, after a few issues where a novice writer in his mid-20s is figuring out how it works, it's all hits for 180-odd issues. However, you don't have to read all 180 issues in one go, and I highly encourage you to treat the Claremont run as a series of interconnected stories that can be enjoyed on their own, a little bit like riding a scenic trolley with a daily fare that lets you hop on and hop off as you please. So what are the classic Claremont stories you should read?

The Phoenix Saga and the Dark Phoenix Saga (#94-138)- ignore the lousy movies, this is the original dyptich space opera triumph and tragedy of how one woman saves the universe with the transcendent power of love and Jewish mysticism, and then is destroyed by men's desire to harness godlike power for their selfish ends. If you're going to read anything of the classics, read this arc because it's brilliant and it'll give you the basics of what you need to know about the X-Men.

Days of Future Past (#141-142)- only two issues, but it's basically the inspiration for the original Terminator franchise - a desperate resistance from a dystopian future where robotic overlords oppress surviving humanity uses time travel to avert their own timeline from ever coming to pass. It's fantastic.

God Loves, Man Kills (Marvel Graphic Novel #5) - the basis for the best bits of X2, it's some of Chris Claremont's best work on the mutant metaphor and a prescient exploration of the power of evangelical religion. Some of the racial politics haven't aged the best since the early 80s, but the rest is straight fire.

The Brood Saga (#154-167) - Chris Claremont watched the Aliens movies and thought "but what if the X-Men fought the Xenomorphs?" and it was awesome. Interesting explorations of when it's right to kill even a lifeform one considers to be evil, the moral quandary of suicide, and space whales.

From the Ashes (#168-179)- meet the Morlocks, is Madelyne Pryor the resurrected Jean Grey, Wolverine goes to Japan - will he marry the head of the Yakuza?, and the intended retirement of Cyclops. Also, some of the best art in the history of the X-Men.

LifeDeath (#186) - Storm loses her powers and learns how to keep on living. Some of Claremont's best writing, and some great Barry Windsor-Smith art.

The Trial of Magneto (#200) - Magneto is put on trial for crimes against humanity. Xavier almost dies and makes Magneto his replacement.

The Mutant Massacre (#210-214) - the first major X-Men crossover and the beginning of the X-Men's time as outlaws on the run. Signals a shift towards darker and more adult themes.

Fall of the Mutants (#220-227) - the X-Men die for our sins and are reborn as Aussies.

Inferno (#239-243) - Madelyn Pryor enacts a Medean programme to revenge herself against a world that treated her as a "nothing person in a nowhere place."

Second, you can read Grant Morrison's run on New X-Men (#114-154), which was both revolutionary in its approach to mutantkind as a minority subculture and was intended by Morrison to be the very last X-Men story. Incredibly influential and powerful writing, even if I don't always agree with their characterizations.

Third, there is a reason why Connor Goldsmith of Cerebrocast calls it "the 2019 soft reboot House of X and Powers of X by writer Jonathan Hickman." HOXPOX requires a bare minimum of knowledge about the X-Men, and it entirely redirected the focus of the X-line and the mutant metaphor itself for the last five years - and, whatever happens in the upcoming Fall of X, will continue to be influential on the future direction of the X-Men for years to come through the X-slack writers' room, which created a collaborative spirit that hasn't existed in X-comics since Chris Claremont was palling around the Lower East Side with Anne Nocenti and Walt & Weezy Simonson.

#xmen #xmen meta #book recommendations #chris claremont #grant morrison #jonathan hickman #hoxpox #marvel

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juniperhillpatient · 2 years

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i think i just really enjoy human villains in fantastic settings when it’s done right. because possibly my most controversial buffy opinion is that the trio are the best villains narratively (rivaled closely by angelus & faith). of course glory & the mayor are more powerful & make for better fight scenes. but the trio is scarier in a way that makes you think, & gets under your skin (at least in my opinion).

having three goofy nerdy guys, the kind who’s predatory views on women would have been played for laughs during the early seasons (see: ‘go fish.’ see: half of what comes out of xander’s mouth) as the main villains in a season focused on the horror of depressing mundanity is just SO scary in a way that monsters & vampires can’t be. not in this season, not after watching glory defeated. season 6 is all about how buffy has to face the music that she’s a grown up now. she has to work a boring fast food job. she has to worry about finances. she has to take care of her little sister. ‘normal again’ is so explicit about the way the horror of this season is the lack of monsters where they should be. and that makes SO much sense after season 5.

buffy has fought a god. she’s died to save the world. you really can’t ramp it up from there in terms of scary monsters. so truly it was just narratively genius to not even try in season 6. instead we see what happens AFTER you save the world & that’s somehow darker than the prospect of dying to save the world in itself. ‘once more with feeling’ is pretty explicit about this theme with lines like ‘now the battle’s done & we kinda won so we sound our victory cheer. where do we go from here?’

buffy can fight vampires or a hell god or a monster snake or an evil government agency & win. but what about a guy with a gun? what about the crushing reality that even people who are charming or funny (andrew), even people we’ve been kind to in the past (jonathan) can be influenced by people who are fundamentally cruel (warren) to do dark & twisted things? the moment in ‘dead things’ where katrina accuses the trio of attempted rape is such a turning point. the trio think of themselves as silly menaces. comic book villains. super villains with a super hero rival. but they’re none of those things. they’re 3 human men who represent the type of guy that most women have encountered & that makes them so much more disturbing to watch than any monster

#the trio #btvs season 6 #btvs meta #buffy the vampire slayer #I’m full of rambly thoughts today I guess 😂

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steddielover · 7 months

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Tw contains swearing, darker themes for some people.

No Shame In Running

Chapter 2

A few hours later Steve made his way to the Byers’s house, the only reason he was doing it was because of who it was. He wouldn’t have wanted to go and wouldn’t have agreed to if it weren’t for Nancy and Dustin, carrying the snacks and presents he’d gotten. He wasn’t sure what Will would like, he’d gotten himself some stuff as well that he wanted to try and get into. Really Steve was only there to catch up with Nancy. He couldn’t help it, he just wanted to be with her once more, even if she was with Jonathan. Hesitantly he raised his hand and dropped it to his side once more, after a few more minutes of debating on it, Steve finally knocked. Not knowing who he expected to answer the door, he was surprised to see Robin and some of the others there.

“Steve, you made it. I wasn’t sure you would, I’m glad you came though. The others are out back.”

Smiling at Robin Steve nodded, it had been too long.

“I missed you guys, I’m happy to see you though.”

Stepping into the threshold Steve looked around, placing the bag of records and other little knickknacks he thought Will would like, he made his round of hellos and followed Robin outside. Locking eyes with Nancy, there was so much he wanted and needed to say, he needed to be honest with her.

“You know you’re always welcome here with us, I’m here if you need to talk Steve. I can’t get you to open up to me though, which makes it harder for me to be there for you.”

Feeling somewhat like a dick Steve didn’t know what to say.

“It’s not just you Robin, I’ve not really talked to anyone. I mean Dustin barely got me to talk, I don’t get out much anymore. Really only to the trailer and cemetery.”

The lump in his throat was a bit much, he’d had to deal with it off and on for months. Feeling a hand entwine with his Steve looked down at it, smiling somewhat as he knew who’s it was made it a little easier. The warmth mixing with the cold of their hands, wasn’t something he was used to anymore. Steve still loved Nancy and always would, but he’d also had his heart stolen by someone else too.

“I’ll take good care of him Robin, we’ll be back soon.”

Not registering what Nancy was going on about Steve just went along with it though. Taking in her appearance he noticed something different about her, he hadn’t actually seen her in a good minute. Steve didn’t really trust himself alone with her, he didn’t trust himself with anyone right then.

“Nance, I’m sorry. About everything.”

Following her deeper into the line of trees surrounding the backyard he leaned against one, they weren’t too tucked away where they couldn’t be watched. Feeling the heat rise to his face Steve wished he knew what would go down. He couldn’t really imagine anything, there was so much that could happen between the two of them.

“Steve, it’s alright. I’ve been meaning to tell you, everyone else knows. I should have told you first.”

Not knowing what she was about to say he waited a moment, feeling his heart sink a bit Steve wondered what was going through Nancy’s mind.

“Please, just let me explain myself? I mean I know there’s allot going on and I’ve not been here much. But I’ll always love you Nancy. You were my first love. And I’m happy for you, whatever you need to do, I don’t care. If you’re happy I’m happy.”

Knowing he was talking in circles Steve was trying, tears welled up in his eyes. Balling his hands into fists he watched Nancy with uncertainty, Steve didn’t know where this was going. He was just thankful for the time he got with Nancy, even if it was just the two of them.

“Steve, that’s not it. That doesn’t matter, we all make mistakes, but I can promise none of this is your fault. What I wanted to tell you though, I-I’m pregnant, I know you don’t want to hear this. But you’re happy with Eddie, were I mean. I’m happy with Jonathan. And I agree, there’s always going to be that part of me that loves you too.”

Taking everything in was going to take allot to sink in. Steve wanted to be happy, he wanted his friends happy too. Feeling his heart shatter into even tinier pieces Steve couldn’t help it, he wasn’t used to feeling all of these different emotions.

“You’re right Nancy, it’s not something I want to hear and it’s really hard for me to hear this. But I’m happy for you two, you deserve the best.”

Stepping away from the tree Steve made his way to Nancy, looking her in the eye he leaned down closing the distance between the two of them and kissed her. Putting his hand to her stomach, not knowing they were being watched Steve flushed as he pulled away.

“We should go inside, they’re getting ready to sing happy birthday and cut the cake. Then we can take you home.”

Pulling a hand through his hair Steve walked silently into the house with Nancy, running everything through trying to process it all he looked to Jonathan.

“Happy birthday Will.”

Sitting down at the table Steve ate some cake and icecream. He didn’t know if Jonathan knew about the kiss, but he kind of felt like he already knew. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife it was so thick, feeling somewhat normal being there with his friends made him happy.

“Let’s go Steve, I’m taking you home tonight. We can get the car tomorrow.”

Looking towards the voice Steve nodded, getting up he wasn’t sure how this would go. He would be pissed off too if he was with Nancy and saw her kissing another guy that wasn’t him.

“I’ll be back, you guys stay here and we’ll talk about this later Nancy.”

Taking his cup with him Steve buckled up once he got into the car. Wondering if this would be okay he wouldn’t be surprised if Jonathan punched him again, although he did deserve it.

“I’m not mad Steve, you’re going through hell right now. I get it, I’m hurt. But it doesn’t matter, I don’t know if Nancy told you or not, we were trying to figure out when and how to tell you. She’s pregnant, we don’t need all of this stress put on her though. And I know you’re drunk right now too, which makes it a little easier on me.”

Rolling his eyes as he heard this Steve turned his head, he didn’t want to see it. He could hear the hurt in Jonathan’s voice.

“I-I’m happy for you guys. And I’m sorry I kissed Nance, but you’ve got to understand what I’m going through. I’m not sure anyone would ever understand though, I know it’s not all about me. I wasn’t thinking. Please don’t take it out on Nancy? It was all me, not her doing.”

Sobering up somewhat Steve tried to keep focused, he didn’t want Jonathan taking it out on Nancy though. He never meant to hurt anyone, he just wanted to find himself again. Looking out at the road Steve did a double take.

“St-stop the car Jonathan. It’s Eddie.”

Steve didn’t know if his mind was playing tricks on him or not, not waiting to hear what Jonathan said he unbuckled and unlocked the door. Opening it he threw himself onto the ground from the moving car, not caring to know if anyone else was out there or not.

Righting himself Steve stood there in the middle of the road. He didn’t hear the honking of a horn, he didn’t see anything but a blinding light and what he thought was Eddie.

Please continue to read and I hope you have fun with this. Not too sure how many chapters it’ll run, but I’m really proud of this baby.

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fangirlisms13 · 1 year

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Robin buckley x byers reader!

Warnings : tw: mentions of su1c1de and anxiety!

Type: fluff / angst ( set in the readers' pov and robins )

Summary: reader has been distancing herself from the group because they feel as though the group doesn't like them and it sends them into a spiral but robin shows up to help them <3 can be platonic or romantic!

Please listen to phoebe any song of hers while reading ( made this while listening to her ! This is me comforting myself laugh out loud )

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What if they hate me. What if they're hanging out with me because they pity with me. What if they aren't really my friends. What if my robin will stop being my robin. Would they still want me If I'm nothing new ?

Those were my thoughts every day. I would have constant reassurance from my friends, but it just didn't feel right. So after we hung out last, which was on June 15th, 1986. I stopped. I stopped accepting invites using lame excuses such as " Oh my mom said I need to watch will," johnathan, of course, caught on since ya know the whole sibling thing. But thank God he just let me be. I know Will,mom, and him have noticed me slowly sinking into my thoughts, disappearing in my room, but I swear the billboard in my mind said the end is near, and I believe it. I just think if I distance myself, they'll be better without me. How did I grow up to breaking down.

Robins pov:

It's been weeks since I've seen my y/n . I miss them. Jonathan said to let them have their space, but I just can't, knowing something is wrong. Nancy says that jonathan probably just thinks that me going over there will trigger something,but it's been too long. Working at scoops isn't fun without seeing their smiley face when they see me at the register. Or seeing them watching me with a knowing look in their eye that we have a ubreable bond, but maybe that's not what it is anymore...

fuck that. I'm going over to their house. I can't just sit her knowing they're in pain.

Your pov:

I've been sitting in the scolding shower for almost an hour. I can't get out. I don't have the energy to play with will or to gossip with my mom or to make fun of jonathan for his stupid love with Nancy. I don't have the energy. I'm so drained. Maybe it would be different if I hadn't seen the things that I've seen. It isn't the trauma, though it's my mind. Fuck I can't even remember half the shit that went down. It's hard to being able to tell anyone and I know Jon always says I can talk to him but it's hard letting your family know that you wish to end it all. So I play the radio and sit in the shower and hum along till the feelings gone yet it only last for a few until it's back. I can't stay in the shower all night so I get out and press the pause button and slowly changed. I get into my room until I hear a knock at the front door. Mom isn't supposed to be home till 5am and Jon is with nancy... and wills supposed to be with Mike. I grab Nancy's bat that she left here and slowly open the door and see a drenched Robin looking back into my eyes.

Robins Pov:

I knock on the byers door as hard I possibly can until they open the door. They looked so different. It has been only weeks, and yet they've changed their hair, the bags under their eyes have gotten darker, and the sadness in their eyes got bigger. I give them the biggest hug I can, and then they break down. I rub their back as we stand at the byers doorway, trying to calm them by telling them that they're safe with me and that they're okay. We slowly walk back into their house, still in an unbreakable hug as we sit on the couch.

Your pov:

Robin asked me after I calmed down. " Why?" The pain I could hear in her voice stung. Realizing the fact that I didn't know that I was hurting others so I could hurt myself is what ended up bringing me more pain. I try to tell her but ny quivering lips and the tears on the brims of my water line stop me. All I could bring myself to say is " I don't know. ".... she begins to calmly ask me questions to distract myself, but it isn't working, so I start telling her how I feel. " Robin. I can't explain it, but sometimes I think I'm a killer, and I don't know if the killer in me can tame the fighter in you. I feel like I fail you anytime I do anything, but I know I can't give up, but I need to. I'm hurting, mentally drained, and I just want to quit. I need to quit. I just-" the hot wet tears slowly fall down my cheeks as I begin spilling all my thoughts, the thoughts I sore to myself would never be brought up to anyone start pouring out of me similar to how writers just start flowing while writing. I finally stop after a million tears , snot running down my nose, the anxiety pit in my stomach becoming bigger, and my hands shaking more than ever. Robin looks at me with the most hurt and betrayed eyes I could ever see.

Robins pov:

Holding y/n while they spill everything made me wonder how long they've felt like this and how long they sat by themselves, wondering if tonight was the night they died. I hug them with the most strength I can possibly give and just comfort them the best I can. I start giving them affirmations to make then realize that we all love them and I told them that " my y/n , I love you so much, you're my star in the sky, and if you were a waiting room I would never see the doctor. You're the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, and I don't think I could live if I couldn't live with you." They look up and just started sobbing, saying thank you.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this !!! I honestly live laughed live writing this and let me know if you catched on to my little phoebe quotes <33 !! Ilysm and if you ever feel like this please know you are not alone.

#robin #robin buckley x you #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #robin buckley fanfic #angst #fluff #robin buckley #stranger things #will byers #jonathan byers #joyce byers

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