#beef Satan for each other
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watched the siren episode for the first time. what the actual fuck is wrong with the Winchester brothers??? like uhh "Dean doesn't want a bitch in a g-string, he wants you, [his baby brother]"
#they're freaks your honour#I knew there was something wrong with them since the start but lol#this is actually brazy to me#mfer are ready to die#go to hell#beef Satan for each other#and like I have siblings and we agreed we wouldn't do any of that to each other cuz we wouldn't go to hell#like if I'm dead#I stay dead#they're actually insane#Idc what anybody says but they're codependent and oh boy#and Dean said “oh you c-blocked me dude” in that Dr office when Sam was there before him and feeling up the Dr????#Dean doesn't actually actually give a fuck abt the girls#my man only cares abt Sam#and he only thinks abt how those girls Sam fucked couldn't taken him away#Dean is not normal#who counts and remembers the people their sibling has fucked#uh anyway#they're freaks and I'm here for it#dean winchester#supernatural#sam winchester#spn#Castiel#sam and Dean#sam and dean
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Even if you don't watch every episode (which, unless you have to - my condolences to the HC Recap team - I assume most people won't) one way of narrowing things down that I HIGHLY suggest is picking at least one person from each of the mining teams to watch, because the vibes are wildly different and equally hilarious.
Team Blue Bin Bags - Spend the entire mining session roasting each other. Climactic moment involving a faux ad for project management software. Would sell each other to Satan for one cornchip.
Hypno
Iskall
Mumbo
Ren
Stress
Team Red Rashers - At one point Etho says, "I don't understand some things about social dynamics, I tell you," and that's this group's motto! Simultaneously the most competent and the most nervous team, like a bunch of racing greyhounds.
Bdubs
Etho
False
Jevin
Team Mustard Milk Tots - They get a lot done, which I think is mostly because 90% of their dunking is targeted at Doc. Very 'parents out for drinks' vibes, despite constantly descending into childish bickering.
Beef
Cleo
Doc
Skizz
Tango
Team Purple Pickles - Lowest intra-group antagonism, made up for by their choice to run straight towards environmental dangers. The cave diving and sculk could make it a horror movie, but everyone is so unruffleable (excepting X, who is perpetually ruffled) that it wraps back to comedy.
Joe Hills
Keralis
xB
Xisuma
#hc 10#hermitcraft s10#s10#salem tag#finally felt equipped to make this after watching hypno#also i imagine some ppl will disagree with my summaries but theyre made 90% on memory of ep events and 10% re-finding quotes#so some are probably better than othwrs
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What if anonymous!MC starts shipping the nobles with the angels (Paimon×Selaphiel, Eligos×Michelleel, Foras×Michael, Amon×Raphael, Glasyalabolas×Gabriel)
MC doesn't ship the Paradise Lost guys with angels but ships Marbas×Buer as a joke knowing they're beefing w each other
How would the kings and nobles react to finding out MC did it again after another doxxing/exposing incident by the Hades guys
The second time it happens I think all the kings would less open to sweet-talking.
Satan: Paimon x Michael? Why though? What was your thought process when you not only wrote this, but posted it as well?
Mc: Paimon likes blood and Michael likes killing people. It just works!
Satan: ...You just lost phone priveleges for a week
Mc: You're not my dad! Give that back to me!
Satan: I'm your guardian in this mess, that basicly gives me parental control!
Mammon: Master, have you got a moment?
Mc: What is it?
Mammon: I have noticed that a lot of your online activity consists of you writing erotic fanfiction about devils and angels... is this a fetish of yours, or do you want to talk about it?
Mc: I thought you liked my last fanfiction
Mammon: No no they're great. It's just that I'm starting to see a pattern and I don't know how I feel about it.
Leviathan while chocking you with his own hands: If you ever write that filth again, I will kill you without hesitation!
Mc: It...w-wasn't... even that...bad
Leviathan: That's 100k words! That's longer than most novels! Instead of wasting your talent in writing shit, you should try to do something worthwile with your life. Is this fanfiction of yours the reason you haven't spent as much time with me? Do you care more about your offensive filth than for me?
Barbatos: Your Majesty Leviathan... I think the human passed out.
Beelzebub: Angel cum makes for great medicine, so if Raphael cummed on Amon's wounded chest it would cure it.
Mc: I didn't know that. Thanks for the feedback
Beelzebub: Also, Raphael is into feet so maybe you could add that. And the scene where they fight should be a bit longer. It's like forplay, but more aggressive and animalistic.
Mc: I was thinking about them biting eachother's throats off.
Beelzebub: That's such a good idea. Write that down.
Lucifer: ...
Mc: Come on, it's not that bad. Marbas and Buer would make for a great couple.
Lucifer: (why do I even try to impress this human)
Gamigin: Yeah, but Marbas and Buer are brothers. Our brothers.
Mc: Then I'll just tag it as step-cest.
Lucifer picks up their phone and breaks it in half
Gamigin: I think you should leave... now.
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb satan#whb mammon#whb leviathan#whb beelzebub#whb lucifer#whb gamigin#shipper au
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lust and war
pairing ↠ werewolf!jennie x (f) reader x vampire!lisa
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, light dubcon, mentions of blood, biting, vampire!lisa, g!p jennie, werewolf!jennie
summary ↠ for two people that hate each other, lisa manoban and jennie kim have very similar interests. you don't understand the rivalry between the two girls, not until they lock eyes on you and compete for your attention.
wc ↠ 5.0k
a/n ↠ part 5/5 of the legend has it series!
don't like it, don't read.
jennie thought lisa was the spawn of satan.
lisa thought jennie was the wicked witch of the west.
for reasons unbeknownst to you. it was your first day on campus. but you were quickly made uneasy, unable to ignore the whispers of students you brushed past. fresh meat, was what they called you. for lisa and jennie.
you tried your best to put up a front and act as if their whispers didn’t bother you, strutting through the halls with your head held up high, but deep inside you were wondering what the hell that meant - and what in tarnation did it mean for you.
when you walked into class, you deliberately snagged a seat at the back of the room. it was obscure, which was perfect. no need to draw any more attention to yourself than there already was.
then the unimaginable happened - one of the girls (you couldn’t tell them apart from each other yet) walked inside and sashayed right to the end of the room, stealing the seat squarely beside yours. you were in disbelief.
she surveyed you with unfamiliarity, looking you up and down. “fresh meat?”
“um, yeah,” you replied tamely, flitting your attention to the textbook on your desk or otherwise you would drown under her hooded stare like an anchor in water. you preferred to play it cool, because you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she was getting to you.
in spite of how withdrawn you were, the girl introduced herself with a beaming smile, “jennie kim. what’s your name, darling?”
your heart fluttered a little at the petname. coming from someone as beautiful and sweet-sounding as her, it was very welcome and made you giggle. but it also gave you a hunch on what this whole thing was about. still, you gave her your name.
jennie repeated your name in a flirtatious purr that had your attention, but you ignored it for your own sake. she added, “that’s pretty. since you’re obviously a newbie, i wanna give you a rundown about the people here - the professors, the student body, every asshole you’re gonna meet here. i’d hate for a cute thing like you to fall into the crowd.”
for the first time, you genuinely looked into jennie’s hypnotizing eyes, and felt as if you were being put under a spell. a part of you later worried that you might have actually been, because you gave in and let jennie give you the gossip. she told you everything; from the habits of the professors to the red flags of every jock to the personalities of the cheerleaders. you appreciated the heads-up and found it to be generally informative.
then, she told you about lisa. that she was a snake that would stab you in the back the first chance she got and she was someone to be avoided at all costs. given her tone of voice and choice of words, it couldn't've been any more obvious that her beef with lisa was personal, but you didn’t dare voice your realization and accepted her words with a gracious nod.
“you know,” she started not too much later. “one of my friends are throwing a party friday night and since i think you would be a nice addition to my crowd, you’re invited as my plus one. i bet they’d like you.”
the feeling of her fingers on your shoulder nearly made you shudder and your breath got caught in your throat. “yeah?”
“yeah,” she repeated, smiling at you, and reduced her voice to a sultry whisper. “are you down?”
you bit your lip in hesitation, mulling over the offer. everything about jennie kim screamed trouble, but she was too alluring for you to give a damn. the textbook definition of temptation. needless to say, you would be going. “yeah,” you replied with a nod, because she had won you over. “i’m down.”
“good,” jennie chirped, pleased. “give me your number and i’ll text you the deets.”
you did as told, but with one thought racing through your brain. what am i getting myself into?
on the night of the party, lisa and her friends were gathered around the couch. jennie’s friend, jisoo, was also her friend, because jisoo was everybody’s friend. so essentially everyone was invited and few people were very off-limits. perks of being sweet and popular.
“streets are saying lisa and her girlfriend have fresh meat,” announced ryujin, parading over to the couch and taking a seat beside lisa, who shot her a glare that said more than words alone could convey.
ten sneered, “let’s see how long this one lasts.”
“oh, please, ten. what ever happened to goldilocks?” lisa retorted.
at the mention of said golidlocks, ten was grinning from ear to ear, and replied blithely, “i think you mean johnny. and for your information, he’s a brunet now. he’s over there.”
the four glanced over to where ten had pointed, mixed reactions settling in on the couch as they watched the brunet, formly known as goldilocks, chat up somebody else. it went without saying that lisa had constructed a friend group of players, but the amusing part about ten and his latest conquest was that he seemed to be getting beat at his own game. lisa shook her head in disapproval. and maybe a smidge of disappointment.
“shame,” lisa muttered under her breath. “i liked him better blonde.”
ten rolled his eyes.
seulgi squinted. “hey, lisa. don’t look now, but i think your new plaything just got here.”
ever the disobedient soul, lisa glanced into the crowd until her eyes eventually fell on you. then, she broke into a wide smile. just as ten had his latest conquest, you would be hers. she was deeply determined and built on resolve.
“ooh, is that a smile i see?” rosé teased, materializing out of thin air with a lighter and a bag of marijuana, which her group of friends on the couch immediately began to reach for.
lisa explained, “me and that feral bitch are tied. and before any says anything - because i know you motherfuckers will - yes, again. i have to win her to break the tie.”
as her eyes continued to follow you, her lips tugged into a downward frown when she noticed you fall into jennie’s company. “fleabag,” she grumbled under his breath.
“and it’s gone.” rosé shook her head, disappointed, and not surprised. and also somewhat entertained while she followed her friend’s gaze.
“i said don’t look now,” seulgi muttered.
ryujin took a drag, blowing out a shroud of smoke, then asked, “uh oh, what happened now?”
“jennie got to her first,” lisa huffed, crossing her arms. “i’m assuming that’s how she got the invite. but no worries, that just means puppy girl’s done half of the job for me.”
from across the room, you could feel eyes on you, but you figured it was because of the attention drawn to you that came with being an affiliate of the likes of jennie kim. that, or you were paranoid.
maybe it was a distasteful combination of both.
“you look cute,” complimented jennie, beaming at you with rays even sunshine couldn’t match.
you had to admit, she was good-looking too. good-looking was an understatement, but from her perfect smile to her stylish selection of clothes, you were rendered speechless when you looked at her. she was like the epitome of beauty, or maybe a goddess. something supernatural, if you believed in the supernatural.
“thanks,” you chirped.
jennie’s smile never left her lips, but she arched a brow, brushing her fingers against your bare arm. “aren’t you going to tell me i’m cute, too?”
cute didn’t do her justice. you sucked in a breath and said, “you don’t need me to tell you that. everybody’s looking at you.”
“no, honey, they’re looking at you,” jennie told you, as if she knew it for a fact. which singlehandedly confirmed that you weren’t crazy and people were definitely watching you.
the next second, one of jennie’s friends swept in and declared she needed to tell her something, and jennie uttered something to you about not getting lost before she was pulled into oblivion.
you glanced around, as if you were looking for someone, but there was no point considering you certainly didn’t know anybody in the area. you went to the kitchen to grab a drink to down for some liquid courage and decided to maneuver around the place.
outside was a better place for you. the air was less stuffy but nobody was afraid to bring the party outside, which meant you weren’t missing anything. you saw a group of students flock around some dude attempting to do a keg stand and shook your head, observing from afar.
then, you noticed a presence beside you as if the person had emerged from a shadow itself, and felt all the blood in your body rush for whatever reason.
lisa snapped her head at you, asking, “jennie leave you to fend for yourself in the wild?” sounds like something that dog would do.
“um, yeah,” you stammered out. “lisa, right?”
“that’s my name,” lisa chirped, flashing you a full set of teeth. jesus, these girls were pretty as hell. way too pretty to hate each other. “you can say it as much as you’d like.”
you introduced yourself to lisa, and as if she hadn’t already known, she acted oblivious and complimented you much like jennie had. you guessed flattery was how these girls worked their way into people’s pants.
lisa, in her endeavor to make small talk, asked, “how’s the party? you don’t look like you’re feeling it.”
“not my idea of a fun night out, but it looks fun. probably would be if i knew somebody out here,” you mumbled under your breath.
“such a shame she left you all alone,” lisa told you, wedging just a bit closer. which you neglected to realize. “you’ve been drinking, too. it’s unsafe to wander by yourself.”
you wrapped your arms around your frame, feeling a little nip in the air. “i’m not by myself - anymore.”
lisa chuckled. “no, i guess not. good thing i’m here.” her eyes fell to your bare arms. “you know, if you’re cold, we can go inside. i know somewhere if you wanna get away from the crowd.”
given how borderline freezing it was outside, that proposal sounded like heaven to you. “but what about jennie?”
it took everything for lisa not to roll her eyes. “oh, please. the party will be over by the time she finishes talking to all of her friends. i’d never abandon you like that.”
well, to be honest, you did feel somewhat abandoned. and she never exactly gave you an estimate of what time she would be back. or if she would be coming back, for that matter. you were trying to clear your head anyways, preferably somewhere warm. you ultimately caved, replying, “okay, fine. let’s go.”
lisa burst into smiles, grabbing your hand and leading you indoors with the excuse of needing to keep you close so that you didn’t get lost. you didn’t mind it, although you were a little nervous to be holding hands with a girl this gorgeous, so your biggest worry was your hands sweating.
though lisa greeted a couple of people on her way upstairs, she didn’t spare them much longer than a second, fully bent on taking you up for whatever reason. it made you think. why would jennie invite you to a party in unfamiliar territory just to leave you by yourself?
there was a room on the right side of the hall and lisa opened the door for you, politely letting you enter first and closing the door behind herself when she came in after you. scanning the bedroom, your eyes wandered over the decorated walls and cute patterns. it was pretty cozy to be a guest bedroom.
“so,” lisa started, plopping down on the bed. when she beckoned you over with her finger, you didn’t hesitate to obey, sitting beside her. “what do you like to do? since you’re clearly not a party person.”
“i, uh, like to paint,” you admitted quietly, as if you were embarrassed.
lisa’s eyes widened. “really? i love painting. matter of fact, i have some paint in here,” she said, standing to walking over to a desk rooted near a shelf. “jisoo, the host, lets me crash here sometimes. so some of my things are in here.”
that explained why it looked fairly lived-in. not dirty or anything of the like, but there was a difference between hotel-esque rooms and ones where you could feel the life in them. there was a lot of vampire art on the walls, pictures of them sucking the blood out of random girls, which you didn’t pay any mind to. it wasn’t as if they were real.
when you glanced back up, lisa was bent over, looking for something inside a drawer. you swallowed and glanced down, looking at your feet. it was inappropriate to stare and you didn’t want to come off as a creep, even if she did look spectacular in that skirt.
“here it is,” lisa said, pulling out a set of red paint and a couple of brushes. “sorry, i only have one color here. i like to do realistic body paints.”
“that’s cool,” you chirped, intrigued by the fact that you shared a mutual interest. “you paint on people?”
lisa was sporting a huge smile, walking over to you with her things in tow. “i love it. it’s so fun. i could try it on you, if you want.”
from the look on her face, you could tell she was mainly asking because she wanted to, and with that coaxing smile she wore, there was no way that you could turn her down. you threw your hands up. “sure. why the hell not?”
lisa’s smile got wider, much more than you thought possible. you were a sucker for pretty girls with equally pretty smiles. “yay,” she cheered, throwing her stuff on the bed, “i have the perfect idea in mind for you.”
brows furrowing, you asked, “shouldn’t you grab like a towel to work over in case things get messy?”
“the messier, the better,” was all lisa said, not sparing you a glance while she picked out a brush from her selection. “do you mind lying down? i prefer working… over people.”
you swallowed the dry lump in your throat. “um, okay.”
lisa was still cheesing, though it looked a bit cheekier now.
sprawled out on the mattress, you shifted a little, trying to find an adequate position. the bed was plenty comfy, at least. you might’ve fallen asleep while she worked on you. “is this okay?”
“it’s perfect, babe,” lisa replied in a heartbeat, setting the paint to the side and grabbing brush just before straddling you.
being so close to lisa, your body flush to hers, made you feel a little hot. outside, inside - everywhere. you couldn’t even breathe. you instinctively grabbed her hips, internally swearing to yourself for doing so, but lisa didn’t really seem to mind, merely chuckling as she damped the brush in the paint and went for your neck.
though you tried to stay stiff, aware that sudden movements could lead her to make a mistake, it was unfathomably difficult. she was on top of you, for fuck’s sake. given that so much of her skin was revealed, you could feel it on yours.
distract, you thought when you felt a wetness creep between your legs. your eyes locked on one of the paintings behind lisa, hoisted on the wall. the one of the girl getting bitten by a vampire. it was eerily beautiful, and you’d already made note of her fascination for bloody art.
“you make such a beautiful model,” lisa whispered when she was done with your neck. you thought she was finished in general, but you were quickly proven wrong when she said, “can i take this off? i wouldn’t want to ruin your top. it’s so cute.”
when you realized that she was asking if she could take off your shirt, a couple of cells in your brain immediately fried. you weren’t wearing anything underneath either, which wasn’t too difficult to see, but lisa didn’t seem bothered.
too scared of how you’d sound if you spoke, you merely bobbed your head.
lisa didn’t waste a second to tug at the strings at the front of your crop top, watching it unravel before her eyes as your tits came into vision. your cheeks burned and you placed your palms over your bare chest, bashful, but lisa grabbed your wrists and set your hands back at her hips. “you’ve got nothing i haven’t seen before, baby,” she purred in your ear.
the throbbing between your thighs intensified. your mouth was so dry that you couldn’t even speak.
your breath got caught in your throat every time you accidentally made eye contact, her gaze flickering up to meet yours every now and then. the feeling of the brush tickling your neck made you shudder a little, much to lisa’s amusement.
she couldn’t help but chuckle. you were so, so naive. to be frank, she didn’t think that that blood cover-up would be buyable, but you genuinely believed that it was just red paint. as if there weren’t other colors featured in her paintings.
it was almost endearing how gullible you were. your neck was covered in blood - her blood - and the longer she spent looking at the fake bite on your throat, smelling her own scent on you, it became increasingly more difficult to resist her natural urges.
you shrieked out when all of the sudden you felt something protrude into your throat and instinctively recoiled, reaching out to push her off of you. lisa pushed you back against the mattress, making your eyes widen in sheer panic, and had the door not swung open when it did you would have been in deeper shit.
there jennie stood, arms folded, the most reproachful glower on her face. “you just really couldn’t help yourself, could you, lisa?”
lisa leaned back, groaning in annoyance. “why are you here, jennie?”
you sat up, backing away.
“because you stole my date,” jennie retorted, shutting the door behind herself.
“can’t steal what you abandoned. she was free for the taking,” lisa shot back.
“and,” jennie added, ignoring that quip. “i could smell your blood.”
that made you freeze. her blood? you glanced down at your body, covering your chest again when you remembered you were exposed, and whispered to lisa, “you said it was paint.”
“you sweet, naive thing,” lisa said, her voice wavering as the scent of your blood overwhelmed her. all she wanted was to feed on you a little.
it was all starting to click, the paintings on the wall and the lack of other paint colors she claimed to not have owned. you wondered why you didn’t smell the blood, but she must have had a cunning trick for that too.
vampires are real, you thought to yourself. you brought your fingers to your neck, glancing down at them to spot your own blood. the wound on your skin proved it. as did the way lisa visibly tensed with hunger when she sensed your blood on your fingertips.
you glanced at jennie, asking, “what are you?”
jennie said nothing, just opening her mouth to bear her sharp teeth and lifting her hand to summon claws out of her fingers. you jolted back, somewhat frightened, but enticed nonetheless. the fever between your legs was a testament to that.
“werewolves,” jennie exhaled contentedly, stepping towards you. “the natural enemy of vampires.”
“you wanna know why?” lisa asked, leaning into your ear. you sucked in a breath when you felt her so close to you. “because we compete for the same source.”
“me,” you whispered in realization. “you’re competing for me.”
“ding, ding, ding,” lisa sang.
jennie was standing in front of you, a slight flush to her face. “i can smell how wet you are.”
you didn’t really know how to respond to that, shutting your legs as if it would help.
“you can?” lisa asked, a little envious.
“all you can smell is blood,” jennie quipped before turning back to you, much to lisa’s annoyance. “but i can smell everything about you and it’s so overwhelming. your scent, your arousal, your…”
you gasped when she ripped your shorts off of your body and quickly moved onto your underwear, leaving you entirely naked. “jennie,” you rasped.
jennie didn’t stop to listen, because the next thing you knew, her mouth was on your cunt, sucking and licking at your clit. you fisted the sheets in your hands, throwing your head back, which gave lisa perfect access to your exposed neck and you moaned when she attacked again.
you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel good to be bitten. not to mention you were somewhat aroused by the idea of fucking vampires and werewolves. there was a weird fascination and you couldn’t help but be turned on.
once lisa had her fill, she drew back to give you and jennie a quick scan, grinning slyly at the look of pleasure on your face and jennie’s need while she desperately grinded into the side of the bed as she ate you out. lisa mocked, “just couldn’t help yourself, could you, jennie?”
“shut up, leech,” jennie hissed. you frowned at the loss of contact when she stood, but your attention was caught when you glanced down at her hard-on.
“whatever you say, puppy.”
ignoring lisa for the second time, jennie cast her eyes at you, her lips puckered into a pout. she almost looked like she was going to cry because of how tight her cock felt in her jeans. “can i?”
you bobbed your head, swallowing to damp your throat. “please.”
“i have to warn you - i’m a handful.”
“i don’t care,” you replied, impatient. “i can take it.”
for the briefest of seconds, you swore lisa and jennie made eye contact with each other, before lisa was forcing you into a mating press and jennie was stuffing you full of her cock, unable to wait any longer. you gasped, not expecting it so soon, but jennie didn’t pause and she was quick to bury herself to the hilt.
it was a good thing that you were already extremely wet, having already been aroused coupled with the fact that jennie was eating you out a moment ago, but it didn’t make the stretch feel any less insane. you had no clue that she was this big, it almost looked painful, and there was a hazy stare in her hooded eyes.
you reached for her, whispering, “jen-”
“no,” lisa said, smacking your hand away. “you asked for this. you said you could take it, remember? now take it.”
jennie gave you all of two seconds to adjust before she was pounding you out, your thighs trapped beneath hers and giving you no room to escape if you were suddenly inclined to writhe and squirm. when your walls clenched around her dick, she let out a borderline animalistic howl, quickly slapping her hips into yours.
lisa was mainly content with just watching, like there was something enjoyable about watching you getting fucked into oblivion by something barely human. you cried out when she pinched your nipples between her fingers, solely to watch your face contort in a blend of pleasure and pain.
you had all but forgotten the bites on your neck, the blood staining your skin, because jennie fucking you like you were some toy and not another living being was all that your minded dare to consider. she was so erratic, like a needy virgin. like a puppy, you considered, reminded of the nickname lisa had bestowed upon jennie, but you would never say that aloud.
jennie had started to ramble, her voice so close to your ear, “you have the prettiest, wettest pussy i’ve ever seen. i should get you all to myself on a full moon. god, i’ll break you.”
“break me,” you purred, smiling at her enticingly.
“be careful what you wish for,” she growled.
the bed felt like it was going to fall apart. you felt like you were going to fall apart, but you loved every second of it. you were thankful that the party was downstairs and much of the blaring music would cancel out the sounds of the bed thudding against the floor with the rhythm of your bodies.
in the corner of your eyes, you saw lisa slide a hand under her skirt to touch herself, getting off to the wonderful sight before her. you wished that she would take it off, just so that you could see her cunt glisten in the light.
like she could read your mind (frankly you were beginning to fear that she could), lisa stepped out of her skirt and underwear, the same underwear you’d seen when she was bending over. the same underwear you’d felt when she was straddling your crotch, most likely to get some kind of reaction out of you. you badly wanted to fuck her, but that would have to be saved for another time.
you glanced at jennie, quickly falling for the feeling of her weight flush against your chest and the sound of her desperate little howls as she used you, but lisa grabbed your jaw and forced your attention back on her. “no,” she said. “keep your perv eyes on me.”
that was rich. you scoffed, “i’m a pervert?”
“upon many things,” lisa chirped. “what, you think i didn’t feel you staring at my underwear when i grabbing the paint-”
“the blood,” you corrected. “that you tricked me into thinking was paint because you wanted to claw your fangs in my neck. how perverse.”
lisa chuckled, spreading her legs a little to give you a perfect view of her cunt. “what can i say? all’s fair in lust and war.”
“both of you are perverts,” jennie butted in, though realizing her breathy voice didn’t made her look any better, added, “we all are. that’s what makes it fun.”
“amen to that,” lisa replied, shoving two fingers inside of her pussy and you tightened at the thought of them being yours.
this was not how you were expecting your night to go. you didn’t come to this party expecting to get railed by a werewolf and bitten by a vampire. you had no idea how you were going to explain the literal holes in your neck, too small to be of an insect. but you would let her do it again. god, did it feel good for whatever reason.
jennie trailed her fingers down your chest, not slowing down, and if anything she was more sporadic than before. she just kept moaning and crying out, her sounds pitching higher and higher, like she genuinely intended for them to reach the moon.
there was a part of you that wondered if this would be the last time, if you would get another chance. it didn’t take a genius to put together that lisa and jennie literally only competed for bragging rights, to have a higher number than the other. you wondered if that’s all you would be after tonight - a number. they were going to move on and find other girls to make themselves feel superior.
jesus christ, you really wished you would have known that you were inserting yourself into a body count contest. not that it really would have changed much.
none of it especially changed that you were on the brink of climax, trying to writhe, but jennie had you so glued to one place that it was nearly impossible. you were slumped under her weight.
“jennie, i can’t…,” you trailed off, losing your voice.
“just a little bit more,” she replied breathlessly.
even lisa’s fingers were moving quicker now, thrusting in and out of her tight pussy. the room started to feel hot and you almost felt dizzy, like you could have passed out any moment now.
the breaking point for you was lisa calling out your name as she neared climax, her voice seductive and airy, alluring like the true nature of a vampire. you couldn’t help yourself when you came, shuddered under jennie, whines spilling from your mouth but you dared not to say any of their names.
no one person had got you there.
moments passed before you were in your right mind again, having blacked out from your orgasm for only god knew how long. jennie was still inside you and the overstimulation was driving you mad, but she wouldn’t back off, not until she was completely done with you.
it was just so much. you didn’t know how to handle all of it. your body was exhausted and you could barely feel your limbs.
“cumming,” jennie hissed. “fuck, i’m cumming. i’m…”
you didn’t really hear anything after that because the second you felt her load filling you to the brim, everything else became white noise to you. it was warm and made you feel fuzzy, almost like a second orgasm. you whimpered when she pulled out, leaving her release to drip out of you, but you couldn’t even move. you were slumped, rooted to the bed.
“too much?” jennie asked, backing away from the bed. “i tried to warn you.”
“she asked for it. it would be a shame if she couldn’t take what she was asking for,” lisa added, hovering over you.
your eyes flickered. “i’m fine. i just, uh, need a moment.”
lisa was naked, much to your excitement. “let us know when you’re ready. i wanna ride your pretty face.”
jennie was between your legs, to your shock, about to lick her own release out of your cunt.
there was a challenge here, even if you didn’t see it. even if it only existed between lisa and jennie. all’s fair in lust and war, as a wise person had once told you.
#tw: dubcon#jennie smut#lisa manoban smut#lisa smut#blackpink smut#girl group smut#gxg smut#revehae fics
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I have a little idea that during God!MC period of learning how to God, whenever they use their power, it makes them hungrier and hungrier each time. And that could be like a gateway to inviting different devils to eat with them, it'd be a fun bonding experience. Since MC have some Godly power, they should be able to create something of value to pay for the food consumed.
MC inviting Amon to eat with them every other day to make sure he's at least eating more often than before. Or treating Bael to a fancy lil dinner before sending him to his bed to sleep, telling him not to worry about the paperwork and that they'll take care of it(*cough cough* MC hunting down Bell and bound him to his office til he finishes them)☺️ inviting Satan to go eat to have some alone time with him (〃ω〃)
MC could try bonding the angels and devils through meals, first invite both Gabby and Satan because they've been beefing with each other since the beginning of the game, I doubt it'd work since Gabby can't get along with his own peers, let alone bonding with an individual from a species he've been hating on for so long.
I also thought of MC needing lots of sleep after using their power, but then it would cut down the time they get to spend with everyone so I chose the former idea over this one.
This fandom, along with a few others, is making me consider reviving my Tumblr acc and upload things...
-🐰
But, like, this is actually so cute? I love it. No notes. I just need domestic fluff.
If you do, then please let me know! Your creations are so pretty and I want to see them all! I literally have no other social media
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Helluva Boss Theories
Caught up with Helluva Boss and now idk what to do with myself so have some theories!
(Not including my next episode/Asmodean crystal theories cause I already discussed that here)
There are so many plates spinning at this point in the story so here are my current theories/hopes/ideas in where each thread is heading:
Stella (and her brother)
Stella is a simple woman with simple goals - to kill her husband and take all his money (not necessarily in that order).
But as established in S2 E4, if Stella kills Stolas all his money and possessions will pass to Via, leaving Stella with nothing. Of course he also won't give her anything willingly on account of how she, you know, tried to kill him.
This leaves two obvious avenues that I can think of that Stella is likely to take in pursuit of Stolas' fortune:
1. Blackmail - It's only a matter of time before Stolas' deal with Blitzo is going to come back and bite him in the ass. It's pretty much an open secret that he's been loaning out his Grimoire so that Blitzo can illegally access the human world and at some point someone is bound to leverage that fact to their advantage.
As soon as Stella realises (or more likely, her brother points out to her) that this is prime blackmail material, I think she'll jump at the chance to squeeze as much money out of Stolas' as possible.
2. Ransom - I think this is much less likely because it's too similar to previous storylines and is likely to feel repetitive, but Stella could also potentially hire Striker to kidnap Blitzo and demand a ransom in exchange for his safety.
Mammon
Given that S2 E7 ends with Mammon warning Asmodeus that he'll regret crossing him, I imagine that Mammon has a plan of his own that will emerge in future episodes.
I don't know how likely this actually is given it would be pretty large scale and would likely impact the plot of Hazbin Hotel too, but I would love it if this leads to a civil war across Hell.
Mammon is all about money and he'll be losing a lot of it now his top money-maker has publicly decried him (and I doubt Asmodeus will continue production of the Fizzy fuckdolls either).
It could also be an opportunity to finally introduce Satan (Demon of Wrath) and Leviathan (Demon of Envy) as potential allies to Mammon (whose desire for vengeance is motivated in part by the sins they embody), leaving Beelzebub and Belphegor as potential allies to Asmodeus. Of course the other sins might also have beef with each other that we don't know about which could exacerbate the situation further.
Striker
Striker has been a major player in season 2 in particular, popping up over and over again as an antagonist to IMP due Blitzo's connections to Stolas and Fizz respectively.
While he's ostensibly killing for money, he clearly has a more personal agenda stemming from his hatred of the upper class.
At the moment it's hard to know how exactly his plan will come together but in the last episode we saw him approach Crimson with the intention of forming some kind of alliance, though the details weren't specified.
I think this must be the first step in Striker's long term plan to bring down the monarchy and topple the hierarchy of Hell, though how this will play out is unclear.
I don't see the show killing off Stolas but I can imagine Striker's next appearance being in conjunction with the assassination of another royal character like Stella or her brother or even one of the Sins like Mammon or Bea.
I can also picture him trying his hand at kidnapping again in order to lure in a royal target - maybe kidnapping Blitzo or Via to draw in Stolas.
D.H.O.R.K.S
Thanks to IMP's consistent failure to keep a low profile, they've drawn the attention of D.H.O.R.K.S, an organization on Earth that appears to investigate paranormal activities, and as of S1 E6 we know they have video evidence.
I don't see them finding a way to hell without dying but I suspect they'll continue to cause problems during IMP's visits to the surface. They might even find a way to bind or command a demon.
That said, rather than the D.H.O.R.K.S themselves posing a serious threat, I think major consequences for IMP and/or Stolas are more likely to arise from the D.H.O.R.K.S drawing the attention of Higher-Ups in Hell.
What do y'all think?
I'd love to hear alternative theories on where all these storylines are leading!
Do you think all the different threads will end up intersecting?
If so, how do you think they'll tie it all together?
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
tagged by @thefreakandthehair @stevethehairington @wormdebut @just-my-latest-hyperfixation and @morningberriesao3 thank you loveliess
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
27 dresses starring katherine heigl and james marsden
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
138,103
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Stranger Things <3 My fics are all pretty exclusively Steddie or platonic Sstobin as the main focus, but I like to play around with the background ships - the best part of being super into a show with 14000 characters is you have so many opportunities for weird pair-ups
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
No Son of Mine
relax (lay it back)
TITS! magazine
Monsoon Season
relax (that's that)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! I try to answer every comment I get because like, thank you for taking the time to let me know you read and liked my story you didn't have to do that and I love that you did
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
mmmm. I don't- HAHAHAHA okay wait, I was about to say "I don't really do unhappy endings" because I don't, but I did do a single angsty ending microfic as a personal challenge back in July
at the bottom you'll find all our friends
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
weirdly enough I think it was the sex tape fic I wrote for @inklessletter lmao that fic turned out so much more 'aggressively married' vibes than I originally planned. Just absolute sap city
Satanic Ritual: DO NOT WATCH!!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Hope not lol
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
ADHD crack smut with a heart of fluffy gold
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I have written exactly one chapter of one crossover, which is a modern Stardust AU where Eddie is Tristan, Steve is the star, and 1980s Indiana is on the non-magical side of the wall. Also Eddie was trying to find the star so he could grab a chunk of it and barter it for a new electric guitar lmao. I really loved the premise I came up with and thought the first chapter was great; unfortunately the fic is fuckin cursed and will never be finished (by me. if anyone wants to take a swing at the story where I left it off feel free!)
stupid fucking star stuff
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
See #8
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I don't think so!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yes! @gorgeousgreymatter-x and I co-wrote the first installment of the yogi steve vs adhd eddie series as a birthday gift to @flintandfuss <3 we broke each other's brains with our linear vs non-linear writing styles lmao but it was a really fun project
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Steddieeeeeeee
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I started working on this goofy little crack fic forever ago where Steve was a member of the snooty grandmas-only Loch Nora Gardening Club, and he was all stressed out because the ladies had beef with the neighboring town's club and had somehow put Steve in charge of operation "publicly humiliate them by throwing a better annual fundraising party"
and then Eddie, being the impulsive horny dumbass that he is, was jokingly like "hey, you could come to my garden party some time" and Steve's like "you're in a gardening club?" "yeah, technically! sure!"
then Eddie drives him to Indy and pulls them up to this shady little sex club called The Pleasure Garden and Steve gets gently bullied by a drag queen lmaooo
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue dialogue dialogue. Also I think in weird synesthesia (some words taste bad, some memories smell like cinnamon, ya know what I mean) so I feel like my imagery toward the fun and funky side
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
All the silly important shit that goes around the dialogue. And writing a seamless big group scene - more than four people in a conversation and the pacing gets so ssx tricky
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Mmmm. I mean, I tend to avoid it unless the fic/character actually requires it. Like I did a Robin POV fic where Robin would think certain curse words in different languages because it seemed fitting for the girl who's fluent in four languages, ya know? Ooh, I do also love a good "character royally botches what they're trying to say" moment so foreign language phrases are fun for that
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Twilight
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
I'm really just unreasonably proud of myself for writing almost 30,000 words of continuous story in 30 days. I've been trying to do that for years and never even come close
okay sick thanks for letting me ramble incessantly about myself this was fun!
as usual I'm late to the tag party but tagging a couple people anyway <3 @steddieas-shegoes @thisapplepielife @wormdebut @aidaronan @gorgeousgreymatter-x
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The brothers Helping Giant MC in a "Special" Way.
Ever since you were a giant. You were starting to feel insecure. You looked in the Mirror to see your reflection gain weight. But you didn't. A side effect of the potion was negative thoughts because it was mixed with human hormones, so you laid in bed with the cover over you completely only to feel 14 feet or 7 pairs of feet on you. Each one a different weight. "MC, What's the matter? You have failed to make it to class since 2 weeks and you never leave your dorm." Lucifer spoke. Eventually you spill out everything, Lucifer and his brothers discussed something and eventually he cleared his throat.
"We have an idea. But we would need to be in your body for it."
You were confused "We will get rid of your problem internally." He meant you to eat them. You were nervous as the brother's can be out of control at times, with Beel getting hungry, Mammon being easily irritated, Satan getting upset over almost anything and Asmodeus not liking getting dirty. "MC darling, you'll be okay. We'll be okay. At least I can be inside you and you get to taste my great flavor!" Mammon gave his brother a glare "Oi, I am going inside them first!" You were shocked but gently picked up the tan boy who was spooked at first but you gave him a peck, before he could even react he was in your jaws, he had the taste of golden Caramel. He got to smell your fresh breath before sliding down to your pit. He was being hugged through your gullet and you could feel it, you also felt him land which he poked a bit "I'm okay! Whoever ends up next better not land on the Great Mammon!" You giggle and rub your gut. You held out your hand and Beel Levi and Asmo went inside. "Let's get this over with..." Levi went in tasting like grape soda, Asmo tasting like Skittles, and Beel like Beef jerky. They landed on each other but you gave them some soothing rubs. Satan and Belphie both sighed and went in next, Belpie tasting like a Blueberry Muffin and Satan like Peanut Butter. You were assuming that Lucifer saw them causing a ruckus since your stomach was poking a lot hearing them bicker and your gut go off quite a few times. It felt like you could throw up or ot felt really nice, he sighed and went into you hand. "As the eldest I must prevent my brothers from causing our dear friend to feel uncomfortable. With that he went in your maw tasting like Earl Grey Tea. Once you felt him land the ruckus had stopped. You gently laid down and you felt the brothers travel to different parts, they were eating away any fat you didn't like along with the negative thoughts and memories in your brain and heart, making you feel and look more toned and much happier but Beel did all the eating. Satan and Lucifer were killing any familiars in your body that shouldn't be, Mammon and Leviathan were patrolling your whole body, secretly liking it in there. Asmodeus was charming your brain. Making you love yourself more and Belphegor making you rest better. Lucifer even added some pride in your thoughts. They also rested in your body before leaving. Rather it was in or on your heart, lungs, stomach, mouth, you were asleep to, but you felt better thanks to your great friends.
#soft vore#obey me beel#obey me levi#obey me scenarios#shall we date obey me#obey me#obey me headcanons#asmodeus x y/n#obey me mammon#lucifer obey me#obey me belphegor#MC#male prey#multiple prey#pred reader#obey me shall we date#giantess#giant
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Hazbin Hotel Episode 5 Live Blogging
Spoilers below
Oh god this is kinda long. Again it is past midnight and I wont be editing this.
Three minutes in and I hate everything about Charlie's dad. Dude moves like a pool noodles. Not that big of a fan of his voice, but it matches everything else that's going on with him.
Rubber ducks?
The texture on whatever the edge of that couch looks like frozen static. Why is it like that? is it supposed to be glittering?
Everyone helping to fix up the hotel is nice but that level of support and cooperation kinda feels like it comes out of nowhere. Not a single on of the hotel gang had a comment about showing Satan a beatup hotel or that he's THE GUY in hell and they are perfectly okay and normal about meeting him. NONE of them are nervous about it???
Alastor looks like he's about to go feral, lol
Razzle and Dazzle suddenly showing up with zero introduction, that neat. And there the kitty that I assume is the hotel key and a mich needed plot device at the end of the season.
Wait are R and D pets?? Oop, they're they go. Nice cameos guys.
Acknowledging that Alastor named it the hazbin hotel only raises more questions as to why the named was kept.
Alastor not knowing what lucifer looks like feels wrong. Again he is THE GUY of hell, how does no one, especially an overlord, not at least know what he looks like.
Alastor saying fuck you is jarring, but in a funny way.
Lucifer is so hard to watch. Song time.
Alastor as a nun
Why are they having a dad battle?? what is their beef they've literally never interacted. It's just on sight.
oh god the fiddle.
accordion??
He called him a deas!?!
random woman...? Mimzy, okay.
She did not need to push Pen like that, poor man.
Finally Alastor backstory- hold on that doctor overlord tho.
Alastor being aggressive toward Husk is good development with Ep 4, but this should have happened first or in the same episode. Or the two episodes should've been released as a set. Anyway, see him come off as an antagonist is good considering he's supposed to be one and all.
Vaggie why would you mention Angel's drugs while trying to sell lucifer on your road to redemption plan?
Lucifer's 'wackiness' is getting tiring fast what's his character supposed- THAT FUCKING STATIC IS BACK. Its on the windows too now.
Somebody fucking said it, thank you. I don't doubt that Charlie coukd redeem so sinners, but most of them are used to doing whatever they want. Being in heaven is a hard switch and considered tge extermination are for fun, anyone who might get redeemed is not looking at a good time. Maybe if there was a way for them to be reincarnated thenthat would work better.
Giant Alastor. Welcome back to may favorite character list.
The hotel gang eating popcorn is funny. No notes.
Alastor actually carring about the hotel is interesting. Even if it is just for entertainment, him telling Mimzy to leave like that was neat. Also, is it just me or is Mimzy animated odd. It feels jerky, but not in an intentional way.
Song #2.
He sounds like a country singer trying a new genre for the first time.
He says that he cares about her so much, but he actively doesn't interact with her. Charlie says as much at the beginning of the episode.
Oh cool so they were never close, why?
Lilith is faceless because...? It kinda takes you out of the sad song moment.
Literally what was stopping them from getting to know each other? They lived in the same house. If ut was Lilith, she's been gone for seven years. If Lucifer cared about knowing his daughter that much he should have jumped on the chance, not make rubber ducks, or whatever he was doing. It wasn't like he was ruling hell cuz no one knows what he looked like.
Wait, why could Mimzy guess who he was if Alastor hardly knew him?
Credits are rolling. I did not care about either of the songs. Alastor makes this episode, Lucifer shatters it. He isn't even convinced Charlie's plan could work, he just wants to support her. Like good job as a dad, but support alone isn't going to get the job down.
Hopefully the next episode will answer if redeeming sinners is even a possibility, like physically.
Ep 5 is like my second or third favorite only cuz I don't really feel anything for the first two.
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Unpopular takes, idk if they are super unpopular tho.
Hopper should have stayed dead, the entire Russian plotline was stupid and did nothing.
S3 is the worst season plot wise, they shouldn't have introduced the Russians as the big bad, but should have continued with the American government being the villain. Plus Kali should have been there as well so they could have introduced Vecna sooner. (With Kali being by his side, serving as Kas who then betrays him because she realizes he manipulated her.)
Also Vecna being the main villain instead of the the Mindflayer was stupid.
S2 Jancy plotline was stupid as well and did nothing really for Nancy's character or the overall plot.
I don't like Byler endgame because it's too messy. If it's handled like the jancy/stancy triangle it's gonna be garbage.
Hopper and Ted are the same kinda person when it comes to parenting. Though I would prefer Ted over Hopper's aggressiveness. (That being said the only good father figures are Charles Sinclair and Bob)
Jonathan should have had Eddie's role in s4, it would have made more sense for the town to hunt him down. (Also the Hawkins gang acted like the town was crazy for thinking Eddie was the killer, when Chrissy's body was found in his trailer. The whole satanic panic plot felt flat because of this)
Overall people should have more negative feelings towards each other (esp within the teen group) instead of being instant besties.
The show is not that deep with metaphors, not everything is a parallel (I'm looking at the insane shippers that make everything about their ship)
And lastly, the show suffers the most from having too much plot and not enough time to execute everything well. We need more eps so character can breathe and grow (probably not an unpopular opinion)
Sorry this was kinda long lmao
No bc I think I agree w everything you said. Imagine if we got shorter episodes but longer seasons??? I miss the golden age of TV so damn bad. I wish I could grab all tv developers by their shoulders and tell them that you can make an amazing, plot heavy, character driven show in 20+ episode seasons (Lost, This is Us, Heroes, etc.)
But literally yes I agree abt season 3 being weakest plot wise, but looking back at season 4 I’m like ?? Was Jason really *that* out of pocket for wanting justice for his girlfriend??? Hawkins is historically a town where people die and don’t receive justice unless you fucking grill government officials or become a whistleblower?? Of course he’d want to take matters into his own hands for his girlfriend who was horribly mutilated in the living room of a guy who has insane beef with him??
Like Jason did not deserve to get fucking BISECTED and burned alive ??? But the duffers get their rocks off torturing characters who were popular bc they were losers in hs I fear……..
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It’s crazy how we out there downgrading each other speaking negatively into each other reality..and it’s also crazy how we don’t get along we out here beefing with each other do to jealousy, judgement, criticism, y’all don’t want to hear the truth but christianity and religious is the same thing you are praying to the god eye keep saying it satan has many names. lucifer, antichrist, jesus christ, lord, allah, he is the same dark forces with different names...it doesn’t matter if you are a christianity, religious, muslim, catholic..they all a cult of destruction, that has been taken place in our lives. It’s a man image that was made up to brainwash us it’s time to wake up..so hate on each other because that’s how we was programmed to do because they know we are powerful together then we are apart it’s time to realize everything in your life you was programmed to do..we was taught to hate each other..we was taught to believe in someone else’s image christianity/religion..eye am saying this because eye hear a lot of my neuromelanin being talk bad about other african neuromelanin being when we all have african, indigenous in our DEA bloodline..
..remember you feed the negative force your energy when you are jealousy, judgement and show hatred towards each other. Again it’s time to wake up and remember who you are and get your power back our people has lost so much that it turned us against each other it’s time to fight back not each other stop taking the blue pill and taking the red pill.
🔴Red pill you go down the rabbit hole to see how far it goes and wake up.
🔵Blue pill you continue to believe what the want you to believe and stay sleep.
———————————more———————————-
Also christian’s folks keep saying everything comes from god himself. But they think the rainbow is gay and a sin but he created everything right..yea ok..the rainbow doesn’t represent nobody gender or sexuality it represents energy from your aura of the electricity from your body and its called chakras and christian’s folks don’t even like the color red because they say it’s the color of the devil..but they be talking about calling on the blood of Jesus but when you bleed out ain’t your blood red but y’all don’t like red..
———————————-more———————————-
And have anyone ever noticed that demonic force comes from christianity, religious, muslim, catholic everything always led back to the churches..they show it all the time in these movies and shows they won’t just be putting it out there in every movie unless it’s true.. christianity, religious so annoying ignorance is bliss. It’s time to wake up.!
❤️Red the blood our people shed.
🖤Black the people we fight for.
💚Green the land we lost and will regain.
Asé 𓋹𓂀🤎👁️🫵🏽😘
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oh sweet summer child you can't just ask something like that and not think I would appear here.
The most effed up thing Nives has ever done is gaslighting Lucifer into believing that there's no skeleton in his room. That the "skeleton holding the column" near the fireplace is probably either his imaginary friend or his old tired eyes acting funny. She even showed him pictures (perfectly edited already) where it didn't appear. Not only that but everyone at the Hol joined in, denying the existence of this "skeleton". To this day he still looks at it with doubt. No one has told him the truth. His brothers forgot about it and despite Nives still remembering everything, she keeps taunting him.
This ofc before lesson 16. After that things only escalated. She tried to kill Belphegor and managed to punch Diavolo... more than once.
About the future, who knows! Murder is always a possibility!
Her darkest intrusive thoughts are mostly about killing Belphegor. Belphegor is no longer allowed near Nives alone cause the last time they happened to sit next to each other at dinner she kept thinking about how easy it would have been to kill him with the fork and Lucifer could read that on her face.
But hey! They are intrusive thoughts! She wouldn't do that Ꮚ˘ ꈊ ˘ Ꮚ ...
right? Ꮚ ʘ ꈊ ʘ Ꮚ
Oh my my if it isn't my absolute FAVOURITE MC OF ALL TIME! And if course, I was absolutely waiting for you to show up here!
Shio: Skeleton in his room you say? *Checks his room in wallpapers* I mean is it really gaslighting if you're telling him the the truth? I mean there's nothing there, Lucifer.
Lucifer: Seriously, you too??
Nives: See what did I tell ya? Noone from Purgatory Hall could see it either and now Shio agrees too!
Satan: *joining in* I think Lucifer might be haunted. But what can haunt a demon like Lucifer?
Nives: Diavolo's Paperwork.
MC: Mammon's credit card bills?
Mammon: Oi mine is not nearly as bad as Asmo's shopping sprees!
Solomon: The Anti-Lucifer league?
Belphie: Solomon wanting a pact.
Levi: A distinct lack of Ruri Chan in his life!
Asmo: Those dreadful wrinkles on his forehead?
Beel: Maybe he's hungry? *Offers hand eaten sandwich*
Nives and Shio: Awww Beel~
*******
As for wanting to kill Belphie. Oof. Nives, girl, I relate SO DAMN HARD. Nives is sitting at the table contemplating murder with a fork? Shio is right next to you with a knife.
We're having tender BEEF STEAK from the murder cow, tonight!
Nives is forever gonna be so badass and cool. I will forever adore her. Also I just imagine Nives being super petty because she can't get him directly.
Imagine during Christmas.
Belphie: Nives, you gave me a sack of coal.
Nives: Yes cause that's what Santa would give brats like you on Earth.
Shio: Here's mine.
Belphie: It's a box of matches?
Shio: Yes so you can use the coal and matches to set your tail on fire!
Nives and Shio: *highfives*
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Satan incarnate and I have some beef so he’s on my “blacklist.” He keeps changing his fucking username and sometimes account, so no repot link. We have each other mutually blocked but on discord we don’t anymore. He’s in some servers I’m in and I catch when he announces in his status he changed his name- I’m not gonna check if he switched accounts bc that’d be evading but if I ad that new name to my blacklist is that too much?? There’s already like 5 names…
im not sure
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Hiiii! So I heard you were taking requests? If so, how do the mercs react to a family member joining the battle field (like a sibling or something)
I am taking requests! I don’t do familial requests a lot so I hope these are alright!! I decided to do it as if the reader was their sibling!
Also I’m so sorry this took so long to get out, I got about halfway through before I realized I read the ask wrong and had to redo it auddisnfksn 😓
-gender neutral reader
TW/CW: some minor swear words
Scout
He hovers you a little bit, slightly because he wants to make sure you’re doin alright, and because he wants to show one of his siblings how cool he is
Maybe you’re being dominated by someone on the enemy team or they get a nasty kill on you, whatever beef you got goin on Scout will make it his mission to get vengeance
He acts as if he holds all the knowledge in the world about the different battle fields and weapons and such
Definitely teases you a bunch even while on the battle field
Soldier
He will push you harder during training, try not to collapse from exhaustion
If you are okay with physical touch he will ruffle your hair a lot or do a lot of the playful headlocks
Will tackle you until you say “uncle” or tap out. A lot of rough housing
Dont worry, if you dont like physical touch he will still find ways to pester you. He also screams a lot around you
He will beat up people for you
Pyro
Pyro will commit a lot more arson around you, whether you encourage it or try to yell Pyro not to do it is up to you
Pyro shows you everything. Pyro will show you the new really cool cosmetics that Pyro got, and will also show you the funny position the corpse that Pyro just killed had landed in
Pyro will give you pep talks whether you are in need of one or not
Pyro is Engi’s best friend, but will also tail you around and spy check a bunch and reflect any rockets headed towards you
Demoman
“Ay, watch this” *proceeds to blow up about half the other team*
When he goes out with the other mercs or gets into some shenanigans with Soldier he likes to invite you to tag along
Lots of playful sibling rivalry
You two probably get each other sent to Medic a lot
Heavy
Even if you can hold your own well in battle he still likes to check in on you occasionally
He will hand you his sandvich or such. Don’t try denying it because he will give it to you
He’s a little worried for you that you ended up in the same place that he was in, but in the end he knows his teammates are good and he is proud of how brave you are
He is protective over you. If someone did something wrong to you and you tell him then there will be no more left of that person to do something wrong
Engineer
You? Here? Guess it runs in the family
Even if you grumble and complain about it or roll your eyes he will still babble to you about whatever invention or gadget he’s working on
You will have to stop him from getting killed. Somewhere along the lines Demo convinced him to figure out how many toasters and how many bathtubs it would take to create an electrical current strong enough to charge a phone
Pulls all-nighters and knocks on your door at 1am to tell you the most incoherent sentence ever and leave without any other explanation
Medic
Will probably ask you to baby-sit his birds and will give you a list thats taller than you on what to do and what not to do
He already holds back very little but around you he has no restraint. You two will be in the middle of a conversation and he will just randomly blurt out something that can only be repeated to satan
He goes to you whenever he is bored and probably asks you to pull all-nighters with him
He keeps an eye on you during the battlefield and usually will crossbow you from across the map
Sniper
He isn’t necessarily more social, but he’s more open to your company if that makes sense?
If you’re sitting by yourself he’ll come up and sit/stand next to you or nearby
He says he’s just watching over you on the battlefield but really he likes to just be an ass to you but in the playful sibling way
He’ll reflect the pointer light from his sniper rifle off of a window or such and try and aim it towards you. Theres almost always a glowing dot somewhere near you
Spy
He is very weary about you being on the team. He was already concerned about one of his kids having to be here and now you?
He acts similarly to you the way he does with Scout in a sense. He is around you and watches over you, you just don’t know it 99% of the time
He considers you one of the few tolerable people on the team and will offer you some wine to drink with him. If you don’t do wine he has some oddly fancy water for you
He might not tell you but he laughs at you whenever you eat shit during the battles
#some of these I was not sure how to write for it well so im sorry about that😅#i hope these are alright!#tf2 x reader#team fortress 2 x reader#tf2 x sibling reader
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which ones were the horrorpunk bands 👀
It was Superhorror!! Short story, I got their set list, got my CDs signed by 4/5 of the band and kissed the singer (who turned out to be 16 years older than me and possibly taken after I did some stalking today 💀💔), long story under the cut
So one of their songs is called Satan Loves You and to introduce that the singer said "you know what the devil whispers in your ear? Drink one more beer, kiss that singer of the band that's on stage because Satan wants you to live your life, Satan loves you". I was front row all night and that was pretty early on in their set and I was considering just kissing him whenever he gets close enough. Their music was really good and I had so much fun! Necrophilia and cannibalism references in their songs ❤
At some point he walked through the audience and just grabbed some girls and danced with each of them goofy partner dance style spinning around etc and he said he wants to practice his German so he complimented random people in German. Before he got off the stage he gave me the set list with a wink and stuck his tongue out 😫
After the concert when I was going outside, he was standing there with the guitarist and I got out the CDs I had bought and asked if they could sign them (that's how the hangout with another band last year started so it's my go-to method)
They were like sure and asked if I have a pen because if not they'd have to go back inside and look for one. The guitarist offered me a cigarette but I declined (I already had beef with my mom for accepting a musician's cig before and my sister was sick waiting in the car with my parents and they were all mad at me for taking so long so I couldn't stay for the afterparty which really pisses me off, next time I'm definitely going alone) ANYWAYS I found a pen in my bag and the singer was like "grazie" and after fighting together to get the booklets out of the CD cases, they signed them and the guitarist went to look for the rest of the band
When I was alone with the singer, I asked "so saying Satan whispered it in my ear would be a good reason to kiss you?" and he grinned and went "oh yeah absolutely, but I smell like shit now, like really" and I was like "I don't mind" and he said I can kiss him on the cheek, which I did and left a lipstick stain on his white face paint (should have taken a photo of that) and then he was like "actually you know what" and I kissed him and we both had a bit of each other's lipstick on lmao
We chatted a bit and he asked if I enjoyed the show and if I'm from near here and I said I'm from the next town about 20 minutes away and he was like "lucky, this bar is great but it's not your first gig here, is it? We played here in 2016, was this your first time seeing us?" and he apologized for his bad English and not being super talkative because he woke up at 6am to travel up here from Italy and it was so hot in there and he lost everything including his ability to think. He asked me for my name and was like "ooh Melissa *thick Italian accent* such a beautiful name I like it" 🥹🥹🥹
He went to get my CDs back and apologized for not being able to find the other guitarist so he suggested I get the missing autographs next time they come to Germany. He asked if he can hug me and we hugged and we said our goodbyes and see you next time etc
And when I turned around my father was standing a few meters away from me 💀💀💀 he said he only got there when I got my CDs back which I SURE FUCKING HOPE
#i wanted to take a pic together so bad but thanks dad for cockblocking me 🙄#sorry this took so long i needed to type it out coherently#i cried in the car btw. as i should. award for best first kiss goes to me#ask#star-that-howls#judas#mel's concert stories
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