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cat-and-fox-hub · 4 months

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Alliance DDLC AU!

Made by Cat, aka Researcher Serif

(TW: suicide, death)

Welcome, one an’ all to our DDLC AU ft. @cosmica-galaxy's Alliance bois! this has been stewing for a while but I finally done it!

Since the Bois tend to go in trios, I added a two special guests; Veteran & Brown-Coated Cameraman!

Veteran here has a platonic/familial relationship with the Literature Club's resident human, you! But, when it comes to you, dear Viewer, it's another story altogether~.

Brown-coated Cameraman is also like Veteran in terms of relationship with you but also you as well.

Anywaes, I do hope you enjoy!

(Sorry in advance if the format is janky, I'm still experimenting styles for my writing.)

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[Close ups and extra commentary below!]

As a forewarning, I will being using -dere typings, a suffix to that derives from the Japanese onomatopoeia 'deredere' meaning 'lovey dovey' to describe characters that express their affection in different ways, or on different levels, for their personalities with a summarized explanation of what the -dere type is given.

(Also keep in mind that while they take the roles of the DDLC girls, their personality don't exactly match with them. They more take some aspects from them into their base personalities, which has been ever so lovely provided by Rus.)

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The Main Trio! Took some finagling around to put them in roles I think was most suited for them but I decided on this!

ღ⊱ | Sayori!Cameron |

His base personality is a Dereyandere, mostly a Deredere, a sweet and happy-go-lucky energetic type character, with hints of non-violent Yandere, an obsessive and lovesick character willing to go varying (usually extreme) lengths for their perceived beloved

In this AU, he's more ditzy than his base self and that's pretty much it. Not much change here really.

I chose him because his cheerful and jealous pouty nature just reminds me of Sayori and his yan side reminds me of the Act 4 ending should you choose to delete Monika's file resulting in Sayori becoming the Club President.

ღ⊱ | Yuri!Vee |

His personality is a Kuutsundere, mostly a Kuudere, a calm, and collected character type that usually appears stoic in nature, with hints of Tsundere, a prideful character that seems/acts harsh on the outside but is softer on the inside

In this AU, he's a bit shy and into strange literature like Yuri but no less stoic and mature like his base self

He also adopted the yandere tendencies, obsession with knives, and 'testing' them on himself as Yuri does when his personality values are tampered with

ღ⊱ | Natsuki!DJ |

His base personality is a Deredere with go-with-the-flow/chill vibes from my observations

In this AU, he's a bit more exasperated and possessive than his base self. He's still the chill and happy-go-lucky unit we all know but just a bit more mellow in the way he gets a little more defensive about his feelings towards you, both to you and those that seem to like you too

Basically, Nastuki's tsundereness somewhat cancels out his more joyfully energetic side a tad

Initially, he was in Sayori's role before I started swapping with Cameron for a while. They were going back and forth roles the entire time lol

I was nearly done with drawing this when I realize he'd probably be a bit better as Sayori, but again, I was almost finished so we get this!

( _-ヮ-;)\

ღ⊱ | Monika!Veteran |

His base personality is serious and fatherly-inclined. He doesn't really align to any -dere types but if we were to stick to the whole -dere personality typing, the closest -dere type he'd be is a Jendere, a calm, gentlemanly, and distinguished character type.

There's more terms that attach itself to it like strict, fatherly, kind, and/or elegant which is why I thought this was the closest -dere typing for him

In this AU, he has more yandere tendencies that manifest in a similar way to that of Monika's own tendencies, just in a more guilty, conducted way seeing as he's the eldest, their senior, and shouldn't be causing the destabilization and deaths of his younger, junior club members because his deep love for you.

He's also younger in this AU considering DDLC's setting but that still doesn't offset the DILF vibes he got goin on lol

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ღ⊱ | You've achieved the Bad Endings! |

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Hey! You there, looking at the screen! You seemed quite startled when things didn't seem like what they were at first. Especially since you exited so suddenly.

Monika!Veteran's been... watching, among other things. He's been waiting for quite a while for you to return so he's just a bit... antsy, to say the least, so please, don't be too alarmed looking at him!

But, your back! So all is good! And now, without the others in the way...

ღ⊱ | Monika!Veteran | "Let us spend the rest of our eternity together. What do you say? Just the two of us?"

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Veteran likes to pat his child our resident human like any good dad senior he is!

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The Main Trio giving you some well deserved affection! Veteran seems to have his Dad Instincts™ involuntarily flare up at this though...

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And of course, to top it all off, we have a Bonus Alt! AU ft. Rus' Mimic Trio and special guest, Brown-coated Cameraman!

ღ⊱ | Sayori!Pal |

His base personality is a Deredere to the max. A chipper and friendly guy to literally everyone he meets

In this Alt AU, his personality hasn't changed much from his base one, really. The only difference is him being a tad clumsy and a bit more somber at certain times, which is from Sayori's clumsy demeanor and depression.

ღ⊱ | Yuri!Buddy |

His personality is a Kuuyandere, majorly a Kuudere with hints of non-violent Yandere

In this Alt AU, he's quieter than his base self and a bit more maniac in his yandere tendencies when his personality values are tampered like Yuri's in DDLC.

He's also has a bit of shyness in the form of hand fidgeting from Yuri's own habit.

ღ⊱ | Natsuki!Fiend |

His base personality is a Kuutsunyandere, mostly a Kuutsundere with hints of non-violent Yandere

In this Alt AU, his tsundere side is a bit more prominent. Still a smug bastard, he's much more susceptible to getting flustered by things that involve his emotions due to Natsuki's influence

ღ⊱ | Monika!Brown-Coated Cameraman |

His base personality is a Megadere, a Deredere whose love is more obsessive and fangirlish in nature, which is rather obvious to everyone else, and sometimes, the love interest themselves

In this AU, his personality is more that of a Yeredere's, similar to a Megadere but even more crazy and obsessive like that of a sweeter, mostly non-violent Yandere which comes from Monika's own yandereness

He also very much leans into Monika's 'why can't I just be the one for once?' as a person who has very strong feelings of love and longing slapped in him

He just loves you so much. Won't you stay with him? Forever?

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Check out my main blog: @researcher-serif

Here's my NSFW blog if that tickles your fancy: @grandfather-of-sin

#all reblogs are appreciated!#no art thieves allowed #do not repost #without permission at least #reader insert #mine art #skibidi tag #skibidi toilet #skibidi toilet x reader #alliance x reader #skibidi mimic #skibidi toilet mimic #ddlc au #tw: death #tw: suicide #I hit my 'once in 5 years good post' quota #hope i get moar out before my usual quota repeats

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yanderefan-kimi · 10 months

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What makes a good yandere character for you? What are some of your favorite yanderes? And what are some that you like the least?

Aaa my first ask! Thank you so much!! Yes, as you can tell from my username, I do like yandere characters quite a bit! And I'm super excited to finally start ranting about them lollll Alright, this might get pretty long so I'll put my answers under the cut!

What makes a good yandere character for you?

This is a very subjective question, but first I'll explain what makes a character yandere.

"Yandere" comes from the Japanese verb 病んでいる which means to be sick. This can refer to any sort of illness, but with yandere characters, it's referring to ailments of the soul so to say. Basically a "yandere" character is anyone who becomes sick with love. Which is really vague, I know - but that's how it is.

A character can kill for love and still not be considered yandere. A different character can respect their target's (the person they are affectionate toward - their "darling") free-will and autonomy and still be considered yandere. It's vague and open to interpretation. What one person considers yandere, another might find them just being possessive.

Just getting a few common misconceptions out of the way first:

-Yandere characters can be abusive to their targets, but just because a character is abusive, that doesn't mean that they're yandere

-A character doesn't have to go around killing people to be considered yandere

Okay, with that out of the way, time to talk about my favorite kinds of yandere characters!

I like characters who are subtly manipulative, the characters that mess with their target's perceptions of reality to mold them into someone who can accept their isolation. I like to describe the buildup as "walking into a spider's web, and only after you think to turn around do you realize that it's too late." These characters can appear to be very doting (溺愛) to their targets and lull them into a false sense of security, and usually only show their true selves to people they see as their love rivals. These characters can also be commonly described as haraguro (腹黒) or scheming.

But I can go for any sort of yandere character! I'm not so good with gore tho so I try to avoid that, but any other type has their own appeals. There was this huge chart about the different types of yandere characters and their "symptoms" I found before, maybe I'll dig it up and explain it in detail in another post eventually. But for now I will move on to the next question!

What are some of your favorite yanderes?

I can explain a bit more about the kind of yandere characters I love by using some of my favs as examples! Please note that I read a lot of shoujo, especially because the yandere trope is gaining some good popularity in that demographic, so these are all male yanderes. Though, I do love me a good female yandere character too!

My absolute favorite yandere character is Haruma from 恋と心臓 (Love and Heart) Seriously, no one does it as well as him. I don't want to spoil anything since it's more fun to experience the craziness yourself and the series is available in English!

But to give a brief summary: Yoh (the main character), having lived a life where she didn't have anyone she could rely on, is incredibly independent. But then her childhood friend (who she doesn't remember), Haruma, moves in with her and suddenly she finds herself in the position of damsel in distress again and again, with Haruma being the only one to save her.

It's a great blend of psychological horror, romcom, and drama with a huge dose of unhealthy relationships and a happy ending! I recommend it to everyone who is comfy with the subject matter.

Kuroyuki from Nightshade deserves special mention for being the reason I started liking yandere characters in the first place.

I never really got the appeal before him, but when I played Nightshade, I liked him from the start. I tend to love comic relief characters (who are secretly quite sad/serious) so he caught my eye right away and then when the cray-cray hit, I was like,

Oh no, that's hot.

And it was over for me after that lol. Yandere love interests in otome games have a reputation for caging, and Kuroyuki has a subtle approach to this. He spins this (not entirely false) tale that everyone is trying to kill Enju (the main character) except for him, and that he's the only one who could protect her. I won't go into his backstory, but an unhealthy amount of delusions feed into his obsession as well.

The game is fun and intense, and I highly recommend it if you would like to cry. Check out my Why you should play Nightshade PowerPoint here:

If you're looking for other good otome games with fun yandere characters, I also recommend: Amnesia: Memories, Taisho x Alice, and Mystic Messenger.

After Kuroyuki, I started reading a lot of Japanese webnovels with yandere characters (I literally have a page in my browser with just the yandere tag on shousetsuka ni narou that I browse thru regularly) I could probably do a whole post just about yandere characters in webnovels, but for a quick recommendation, I suggest checking out Kotoko-sensei's (琴子) works or, for something a bit more bizarre, check out Inaida-sensei's (稲井田そう) works. (I once went thru a phase where I was obsessed with all of Inaida-sensei's works around 2~3 years ago.)

Anyways, on to the final question!

What are some yanderes that you like the least?

Well, I tend to dislike the yandere characters that are not well thought out. It's easy enough to put a knife in a character's hand or make them shove someone in a cage, but it's not interesting unless they have a compelling reason why. What leads them to decide they have no other choice but to kill a rival (or their target) or take away their target's freedom?

This is why I tend to dislike side characters who are yandere (especially in harem series) because they're usually not given a whole lot of depth or character building - like a main character would have.

I think a lot of the appeal from yandere characters comes from their depth, complexity, and how they can be hypocritical by nature. I love them but I hate them because they care about other people. I don't want to scare them but I need to protect them. I don't care if they hate me as long as they stay by my side.

If I were to name a yandere character I dislike, though, I would have to say Yuno Gasai (from Future Diary) who is a rather famous case. I don't think she's a bad character - in fact, she's a really great character and a good example of what happens if obsession is left to fester in a high-stakes, dangerous environment. But her character has been boiled down to crazy anime girl who kills a bunch of people for her crush by the internet, which has completely changed the way many people view the word and perceive the trope of "yandere." I just find it irritating and as the self-proclaimed saleswoman of yandere, it makes my job a lot harder.

Can yandere be considered problematic? Sure, absolutely. But does it have to involve murder, rape, gore, or other triggering content? Absolutely not.

(This goes for this whole post, but please note that I am talking about fictional characters, and this in no way reflects real life people)

All in all, I'm very passionate about yandere characters and yandere content. I just find them so compelling, and especially love exploring relationships involving a yandere character - because it usually involves having to come to some sort of compromise. I could probably rant on and on and on about it but this answer is already so long lol

Thank you so much for the ask again! And anyone can feel free to send asks if they would like me to clarify on any of this! I do love ranting about these sorts of things

#ask #zer0stormz #thanks for the ask!#my ask box is always open #yandere #male yandere #yandere characters #koi to shizou #love and heart #nightshade #nightshade kuroyuki #kimi rants

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thehandthatleads02 · 1 month

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Hi, Morgan here! I'm a 21 year old 5'4 mousy brunette in college. I've always done my best to behave well throughout my life and perform well academically. I've slept with very few people, have never had sex earlier than a month into a relationship, and have never really done anything outside of missionairy. In my four years at college I've been on the Dean's List every semester, I've never gotten lower than a B, and in highschool I never got lower than an A in any course, even ones which gave college credit. Thing is, I have this fantasy of being someone else. I've always had large breasts, and I know that if I ever decided to change my life, to focus on showing off my body rather than my brain, that I could do it. I could be the girl who's all boobs no brains, the one who's only able to live her life because she uses her body to get other people to take care of her, and it turns me on more than I could accurately describe in words whenever I think of that. I just wanted to reach out because I've loved your content for years and now that I'm really starting to come into my own and feel more confident in myself I decided to take the step to finally make a blog of my own and try my hand at reaching out to one of the most iconic members of this community. I don't quite know yet how to reconcile my kinks with all the work I've put in over the years as an academic but it's at the point now where I really don't think I can ignore it any longer. I used to proudly call myself a feminist and now I honestly feel a little guilty anytime I make a claim even somewhat related to the topic. What should I do? How should I move forward?

Although I'm not sure I would consider myself a "cornerstone" of the community, I do appreciate the sentiment. I think it is very normal to get to a point in your life and realize that the road before you is not the one you wanted. Often times it is a path we did not chose for ourselves, and I think it is healthy to eventually chose your own life when you have more experience. Sometimes that decision can come later that is ideal, but I always encourage people to explore their desires even if they seem unusual. (Assuming they are not harmful, of course)

For you? I'd say for now just explore where these feeling take you. Try some edging if you haven't, it can be an enlightening experience. Talk to some people who have blogs that seem to fit your interests. Don't be disappointed if that doesn't work out, because sometimes it goes really great. Don't let anyone push you into things you aren't ready to do.

Basically, enjoy yourself but be safe. Life's short, do something that makes you happy

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darthvaderofmiddle-earth · 5 months

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I... I went through a LOT in therapy today.

Basically, a month before this session, my father sent a cease and desist letter to my therapist via lawyer, and harassed her and her assistant for information he legally could not obtain because I never put him on my release forms, knowing well that he would go to extreme lengths for information I was not comfortable giving him. And he REFUSED to stop until he got that information, even though he literally could not get it in any way, shape, or form. And I didn't want him to have it.

Well. After that month, I went and met with my therapist today finally for a much needed session. And my therapist said exactly this: "I believed you before [about your father], but I think this situation is worse than you've been describing it." She told me, "You hear about patients' lives, but you rarely get to experience them. And I've gotten a glimpse into yours. Your life is hard."

That really struck me. The fact that she confirmed my situation is horrible, and that I possibly am still not confronting the entire situation but rather holding back some because it really is *that bad*... Gods. That was... a huge relief.

In short, she and I concluded my father struggles to keep meaningful relationships. People don't actually like him all that much, if at all, they instead, are held on by a string of fear that he controls, and are constantly walking on eggshells with him, wondering what will set him off next. Nothing will ever satisfy my father. Nothing. At all. Last time I confronted my father, I said exactly, "I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with you." I never said that to my therapist, and she used the exact phrase, as though she knew.

My therapist straight up told me as well, "If you wanted to put [your father] on the release forms, we'd be having a serious discussion. I don't think that's good for you."

Before I even realized I was being controlled by my father's fear, I subconsciously knew I had to take control over myself and my life by excluding him from private matters like therapy.

And as an adult, I am making decisions for myself. To satisfy myself. To keep my well-being in check rather than satisfying my father. I am not giving him any information about my private talks in therapy, and I am going to save up to move away from him and live on my own. I am focusing on what will make me happy, not my father. I've spent my whole life trying to make happy a man who's never once been happy.

But me? It's real easy to make me happy. Give me stuff to create, write, print, whatever. Take me to a concert. A LARPing event. Play a game with me. Give me a small gift. Show me an animal of any kind. Share a snack or drink with me. Be kind to me in the smallest way. Literally anything, big or small, means the world to me and makes me smile to the moon and back. I've been happy so many times, despite the anxiety my father causes me. I've known true happiness in a way he will never know, and has never known. And that's sad. I wish he will find happiness someday. But clearly, I'm not responsible to help him find it. I'm responsible for my own happiness, and that's just about it. I matter. My well-being matters. I don't have to spend a lifetime trying to satisfy someone who is impossible to satisfy. But I can spend a lifetime satisfying myself.

And I will. By moving out someday soon.

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friendofcars · 8 months

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“what he wanted was to know what he wanted.” for the quote ask thing. such a cool idea!

thank you - it's been so fun answering these!

my guess: incredibly dream thieves era ronan sentiment. i think this is when kavinsky is teaching him to dream and says something like "you have to know what you want" or "you have to go after what you want." not sure which chapter but maybe in the 40s?

the answer: well. this went well for me.

(which is tdt, chapter 41!)

my thoughts: this phrase is the key to ronan's arc in tdt imo (or at least the first part of it. he has to know what he wants but he also has to lean how to obtain/achieve it). "what he wanted" refers, beyond controlling his dreaming, to his repressed feelings for adam/his second secret, the path in life he wants to take, whether he wants to follow the example of kavinsky or gansey, whether he wants to live, and whether he wants to stop hating himself. by the end of the book he makes his choice(s), but it takes time for him to realize that the choice isn't strictly kavinsky or gansey, it's himself/his life (and through his realization of his own self-esteem and self-love, adam. he basically also chooses gansey, but that's a whole other story.). he has to choose himself before the second secret becomes clear. interesting that he also has to choose himself/his human life/humanity in greywaren. i think ronan wanting to know what he wants is not the same as him interpreting all of his intense emotions as (or replacing them with) anger, but there's a common theme of his own thoughts and feelings being inaccessible to him.

this line also contrasts ronan with adam, who has a long list of conscious wants (many of which are basic survival needs). this also makes me think of adam (as all things do) because of ronan and cabeswater's clumsy attempts to communicate with adam (in ronan's dreams and in adam's visions) which i think is in league with ronan's inability to articulate feelings. i'm trying not to write a novel here but this arc leads me to ronan learning to ask and cooperate with cabeswater to pull the replacement camaro out of his dream, as well as his use of the puzzle box at the end of the book to ask cabeswater "please" in dream language, and as we all know, ronan saying "please" in the presence of adam is !!!!!!! there's something in here about kavinsky's strategy of being a thief and taking what he wants (and also the way he treats ronan, kidnaps matthew, etc. it literally just hit me that kavinsky is a dream thief not only because of the way he dreams and carelessly drains cabeswater, but because he kidnaps matthew, who is a dream.) versus ronan's requests to cabeswater to work with and support his dreaming. i'm sure there's something to be said here about art forgery and original work as well as attitudes towards natural resources/the environment and other such things.

and a bit more about kavinsky: kavinsky forges ahead in the conversation without ronan responding. his wide smile = hunger (which is greed, desire, maybe even insatiable loneliness). the mitsubishi is described as voracious earlier in the book. we know that ronan looks for someone to lead him since niall cannot teach him how to dream from the grave, and kavinsky is a compelling option to him for their shared experiences and kavinsky knowing what he wants and how to take it. but as ronan follows kavinsky down the rabbit hole of thieving (doesn't kavinsky erroneously reference a white rabbit in chapter 6 or 7?), he understands how this hurts cabeswater, so he concludes that kavinsky is not the kind of dreamer he wants to be. gansey is the kind of leader he wants to follow and protect. and ronan doesn't know it yet, but gansey = cabeswater anyway. so kavinsky does teach him how to figure out what he wants- but what ronan wants is in opposition to what kavinsky wants: for their relationship or lack thereof, for the ley line (and adam, and noah, and cabeswater, and all that depend on it or are tied to it), for themselves, etc.

#and then in cdth ronan is like uh oh gansey left me again. time to find/make a new bad influence to teach me to dream again #sorry it took me a bit of extra time to respond! i think i got off track but this was such a good line to choose #rchl #ask #trc

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is-the-snake-video-cute · 2 years

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Hi! Are you aware of any common issues that a shelter snake may have? I'm planning to get my first snake in the near future, and the shelter is usually where I'd go for a pet, but I'm a bit worried that the snake may come with baggage I could lack experience for, especially since the local shelter isn't specialized in reptiles (I'm sure they do their best, but they seem to have a lot of corn snakes housed in duos, and also a duo of Dumeril's boas that are described as "inseparable" and could only be adopted together). The snake I've currently got my eyes on is an adult female kingsnake, who does live alone, if that makes a difference.

If that's something a new keeper should probably avoid, do you have tips on how to find/spot ethical breeders? Finding any in Germany has been surprisingly hard, and I'm a bit worried I might end up supporting an unethical breeder due to my own ignorance.

Sorry for the long text!

Sure! (And yeah, the shelter housing snakes together is a massive red flag! Snakes aren't social animals and describing two of them as "inseparable" is absolute baloney.)

A few of the most common issues I see in shelter snakes:

Poor handling. This is something that can be worked on at the shelter and once you get the snake, but the odds are good that your average rescue snake won't be super well-socialized and you'll need to put a bit more work into developing a trusting relationship with them. They'll usually be handleable by the time they're adopted out, but it's something to be aware of.

An unusually strong food response. You'll see this most often in snakes that are already pretty food motivated - like kingsnakes. If a snake doesn't get the proper food early in life, they'll often be pretty worked up around feeding time. You can expect a very strong food response to involve things such as biting inappropriate items in the enclosure, getting so excited they miss their food, and very possibly mistaken bites to you. Mistaken feeding bites aren't a big deal, but if you're worrieda bout being bitten, it's something to know beforehand.

On the flip side, I see a poor food response a lot. Many rescue snakes were fed live before they were surrendered (it's no coincidence that most people who surrendered their snake because they realized they didn't know how to properly care for them also fed live), and for some snakes that can lead to a fear response when they're fed. You'll just have to be super patient when feeding those snakes, and it'll get better with time but might not ever go away entirely.

Mobility issues stemming from injuries or past malnutrition. The shelter should be able to tell you this beforehand, but a rescue snake might have minor mobility issues that might require lower or wider climbing branches or a softer substrate.

You should be able to ask the shelter you go to about the snake's handling and feeding habits! If they can't tell you, I wouldn't trust them enough to adopt from them.

And if you choose to go to a breeder, here's what I look for!

They don't breed unethical morphs. Things like scaleless cornsnakes and spider ball pythons.

They don't keep their snakes in tiny racks. If you can see pictures of their facility, look to see if the snakes aren't being kept in racks the size of desk drawers.

They don't maintenance feed their snakes. This can be hard to spot for the untrained eye, but you're basically looking to see if they're not just feeding the snake the bare minimum to survive. Baby snakes can vary in size a lot, and often look skinny just naturally, so you're looking for things like a three-month old snake not weighing as much as a newborn. When in doubt, ask the snake's weight and compare to a hatchling's weight.

They don't feed live. This should be easier for you, since I think live feeding is almost vanishingly rare in Germany, but it's still something to look for.

Hope this helps!!

#not a rating #buying snakes #adopting snakes

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luimnigh · 1 year

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I identified as a lesbian for a long time (14 - 21 or so) and for a lot of that time I felt really threatened by mspec lesbians. I was super proud of my gold star status and the fact that I had figured out I was a lesbian so young. I'd identified as bi, briefly before I came out as a lesbian, and I didn't have the words "comp het" yet because it was the mid-00's but I basically felt like that's why I thought I was bi for so long.

And I had all these lesbian friends who were like well i've had one boyfriend or one male friend with benefits and it was awesome but I still identify as a lesbian, and actually you should try it sometime, it's very enriching as a lesbian to have one single relationship with a man. and I was like you're crazy, that's disgusting, I'm not endangering my gold star, I'm not attracted to men at all and I don't think I actually ever was, you guys are just buying into comp het and want me to do the same. But that wasn't really true because the whole time I identified as a lesbian I was still attracted to famous men and trans men, so obviously I did like men at least a little bit, at least in certain situations. But I was a gold star lesbian and it was very important that I stay that way!

Eventually I realized I'm actually demisexual and the reason I spent 14 - 21 only attracted to women is that I didn't have any emotional attachments to men strong enough to make me experience attraction to them during that time (unless they were famous, or trans). And now I play fast and loose with labels lol and my gender identity has also changed significantly in that time, but lately I've been drawn to the idea of identifying as a lesbian in addition to other identities. Because lesbian culture is still an important part of me and even now that I fully love and embrace men and having relationships with them, and I also am just... so gay for women wow.

I'm not saying that all lesbians who are against mspec lesbians are themselves mspec lesbians in denial, like I was. BUT my fear of mspec lesbians was totally rooted in my own insecurity and internalized biphobia, and I had to unlearn a lot of things to be comfortable in my own sexuality and to allow other people's sexuality to be fluid and shifting and difficult to put into exact terms. And I get the vibe, especially from that "mourning our identity" ask you got, that people need to be more confident in their own experience. If you think you're a lesbian, you're a lesbian, whatever that means to you. If what other people do is factoring into it at all, then you're thinking about it wrong. Because even a group of gold star, genuinely not attracted to men, definitely cis lesbians are all going to have different opinions on what a lesbian is, what being a lesbian means to them. You can't distill someone's entire lifelong experiences of sexuality into one word or phrase. If using lesbian as an identifier helps someone describe the indescribable, even if they like men, that's only a big deal if you're insecure about your own lesbianism.

#asks #anonymous

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juneviews · 1 year

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i've seen love in the air (LITA) and i would like to argue in its favor... i think in 2022 we should all be past demonizing or belittling bl shows which plot focuses mostly on sexual relationships as if they're an unimportant part of lgbt people's lives (this has happened recently with ''only friends'', just after the trailer was released, its own director had to come out and /defend/ himself against what were blatantly puritan and subtly homophobic ''bl fans'' making this same argument). first of all, LITA is a romance bl so of course, the main plot is about the main characters falling in love with all it entails. and they do a excellent, excellent job at portraying 4 very different people in 4 different stages/backgrounds in life with 4 very different life experiences and how they come together and work through all things standing between them. LITA is more than a simple romance bl that says nothing once it's done. it has incredible SA survivor representation with all that it entails (dealing with PTSD, how it affects someone's perception of love and sex, how people help victims, how to slowly heal from it, etc) and it also has a great representation of ''you're more than just someone's boyfriend and being in love is not everything in life'' in the sense of academic success, hard work, determination, etc. yeah the NC scenes are good because the chemistry between the actors is great, but there's literally 5 NC scenes in 13 episodes total and they all make sense in the totality of the TV show.

i understand romance-based bls might not be everyone's cup of tea and people would rather watch things like triage, manner of death, not me or vice versa, which are more about the storyline than the love line, but ruling out LITA just because it's got NC scenes in it is doing a disservice to the effort and talent the actors have in portraying human, real and raw lgbt love experiences.

i hope you can give it a try, especially prapai and sky's story, since it tells a very beautiful tale of care, acceptance, overcoming trauma and building a healthy support system. <3

okay, that's another way to see it. the way you describe this series makes it sound way better than the basic university bl it seemed to be, which makes it seem actually interesting. I still probably won’t watch it bc I have many other shows in store & also sa survivor storylines that are too graphic bother me. (also mame’s OBSESSION with having sa survivors in every single on of her stories is weird, I’m sorry 💀 especially considering she’s romanticized sa multiple times as well 💀) that being said, I wanna make something clear (which I thought was clear if you scrolled to my blog but anyways): I am not against sex scenes. only friends is one of the 2023 shows I'm the most excited for, and I've praised p'jojo's (the same director) works featuring sex as an important part of life like the warp effect before. my issue with sex scenes in bl comes with bl not being a genre for lgbtq+ people to start with. it suffices to look at the original novels that inspire 99% of thai bl shows: they almost all feature & excuse sa in some form, and rely heavily on stereotypes of the small feminine main character with his pushy masculine love interest to only present ONE type of relationship, when lgbtq+ people are all unique & different. sure, bl has now a huge lgbtq+ following & many of the people creating bl shows are now lgbtq+ themselves, but that doesn't mean that most bl shows aren't still mostly meant for straight women. and if anyone opens their eyes for five seconds, they will realize that there is a reason why bl shows are a thousand times more sexual than straight thai dramas: bc most of those scenes are for fanservice rather than in service of the plot. and fyi I LOVE romances. it's the reason I love thai dramas so much, bc pretty much all of them are romances in some way. and I LOVE well done sex scenes like seanwhite's first time. so to pretend I'm demonizing all bl sex scenes instead of acknowledging the truth that most bl sex scenes are unnecessary & only there to arouse its audience is misplaced. if non bl thai dramas were as sexual as american shows for example, I wouldn't say a thing bc this oversexualization would be generalized (still not sure it would be okay though.) but here it's present ONLY in bl, which tells me everything there is to know.

xxx

#answers #also - I didn't start the discourse about love in the air so I would appreciate it to not continue further #I don't have the energy to argue about shows I haven't watched.#ALSO the thing with only friends is that it uses sex to carry a message - that often sex is used to avoid real intimacy & love with others #the sex in shows like don't say no & cutie pie said what? that the couple is in love? yeah we got it the first time.#(also a dumb pet peeve of mine is when people talk about a group of bl shows & don't put not me first cijdeihbdc let's be fucking for real)

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xxlovelynovaxx · 1 year

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hi!! I was wondering if u could answer a posic question? if that’s okay. im trying to understand exactly what it is. can someone be posic if they understand that objects are not alive since no heart brain etc and by society are not seen as alive. but still gets an attachment? to some and worries about them feeling uncomfortable as if they are alive. cuddling (romantic?) and kissing them. sometimes wanting to take care of them in a pet/platonic/familial way? does that still count as sentience even if when u think about it u know they aren’t alive? Also having a hoarding issue and see everything as sentimental and feel bad for them when they’re thrown out.. wanting to keep them safe. how do u know if objects are just a comfort/interest or if it’s a posic or objectum thing? Can objectum be a platonic thing? what are some common posic and objectum experiences that people might not realize are posic and objectum? thank u.

Sorry it took a while to get to this!

Hm, I'd say there's two approaches I've seen to this. The first is "things can be sentient without being alive" - basically, do you define life as a requirement for sentience? The second is "the definition of life needs to be expanded to cover all sentience" - essentially, something can be alive even if it is not biologically alive. I think either are valid and count as POSIC!

As for knowing the difference between POSIC and objectum - objectum is orientation. Essentially, are you platonically, romantically, or sexually attracted to an object. So yes, I'd say platonic counts. POSIC, on the other hand, is basically just whether or not you perceive the object as sentient. You can be attracted to it even if you don't, and you may perceive an object as sentient without any attraction, including platonic. They basically only overlap if you are attracted in some way to an object you perceive as sentient.

As for a comfort/interest vs posic and/or objectum, I'm not really personally sure how to differentiate those? I think if you perceive an object as in some way sentient (whether it's the level of a small animal or that of equal sentience to a person or even a separate type of sentience for stuff such as planets or concepts or other stuff, as my own POSIC identity encompasses the whole potential range) then you can call yourself POSIC if you want, but ultimately only you can decide.

If you do want any advice for the hoarding aspect, I'm happy to talk about the coping skills I've developed for that exact issue, but since I can't tell if you were asking specifically for advice, I won't offer mine unsolicited just in case.

As for common posic and objectum experiences that people don't realize are... hm, growing up, my plushies had a very specific gender that I just innately knew, and it felt like they'd get upset if I didn't acknowledge it or misgendered them. I had a genderfluid plush long before I knew what genderfluidity was, let alone before my own egg cracked!

Another might be... hm, I've sensed before that certain stones in my crystal collection wanted to come with me when I'd leave the house. A lot of pagans and even just people who like shiny pretty rocks have mentioned feeling similar, from what I've seen.

Those are both POSIC, so objectum... maybe when you buy a doll or plush and keep wishing you could be in a relationship with it? Or having a parasocial crush on Hatsune Miku despite her not being a human/living celebrity? I am objectum but for me the experiences are a little hard to define because they're so intertwined for me with being POSIC.

Basically from what you've described I think you absolutely could call yourself POSIC if you wanted to, but obviously I can't make that call for you.

I hope this all helps! :D

#POSIC #object sentience #objectum

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gohnnyjuitar · 11 months

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2 and 4 for tex, cobalt, rose, and romulus 😈

"what's the evil face for" i wondered before i spent an hour and a half hunched over this ask

2. a song lyric to describe their love life

Tex

"Yeah, I'm scared but I'll disappear Running around before it corners you Like he's someone who lost his way"

Houdini - Foster the People

a lot of the songs on his playlist that are about relationships are from the pov of the people he's broken the hearts of :') this one part of Houdini is chef kiss for an anxiety filled cowboy who only realizes what he had when he's disappeared for several month's with no goodbye!

Cobalt

"I can tell that you're tired But you keep the car on While you're waiting out front"

400 Lux - Lorde (runner up song was Happy Accidents - Saint Motel)

Cobalt is a very "live fast, die young" kind of fella, even with him approaching his 40s. his major relationships end (Mercedes) or almost end (Remington) because Cobalt is faced with the fear of settling down and becoming stuck (even though neither of those relationships asked him to give up what he loves to do, which is travel). this bit makes me think about Cobalt in the sense that, he sees that his partner wants to slow down and settle in, so Cobalt springs for more travel and more exploration because he's scared he'll get stuck.

what's funny is i think you added this song to their playlist dfhhgf

Rose

"I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself"

Two - Sleeping at Last

Rose is a fixer, and it's easier to fix everyone around her than it is to try to fix herself, especially after losing her memories. surely if everyone around her is happy, then she can be, too. Rose puts her all into a relationship because, for a while, she feels like she has to earn reciprocated love.

Romulus

"I took a low road in I'll take the high road out I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without"

The High Road - Three Days Grace

this bit basically has to do with Romulus being full of self-hatred and regrets. he doesn't understand why Rose gives him the time of day, let alone insists on helping him when she has a million of her own things going on. it goes from him begrudgingly thinking he owes her for helping him, to him fearing the worst because he's developed feelings. in the end, she makes him want to be a better person.

4. a song lyric to describe their personality

Tex

"I'm a hold my cards close I'm a wreck what I love most I'm a first class letdown I'm a "shut up, sit down""

Polaroid - Imagine Dragons

i think this is a pretty god summary of Tex's personality whether he realizes it or not. he's pretty good at freaking out and wrecking something good and not talking about any of his own personal issues. smiley face

Cobalt

"I wanna taste love and pain Wanna feel pride and shame I don't wanna take my time Don't wanna waste one line"

Could Have Been Me - The Struts

Cobalt loves life and all the experiences it can bring. a lot of his personality revolves around wanting to not miss an opportunity to experience something new and incredible. he's a very open minded and happy fella :)

Rose

"When they see you around You look down at the ground But when they walk away You wish they'd stay"

Bleeding Heart - Regina Spektor

a big part of Rosemary's character is her struggle with low self esteem and how this affects her normally happy disposition. she loves people and loves interacting with them, but there's always that horrible feeling gnawing at her insisting that they have no interest in her.

Romulus

"You were a child who was made of glass You carried a black heart passed down from your dad If somebody loved you they'd tell you by now"

That's Okay - The Hush Sound

this just so happens to be like one of the most recent songs on Romulus' playlist and boy does it make me think of how he's trying to come to terms with his father's emotional abuse and shitty childhood that he misses sometimes despite himself :)

lyric meme :)

#this was so. mean #corvyknight #admitted evil intention too #ask meme #oc; tex #oc; cobalt bishop-king #oc; rosemary rosario #oc; romulus

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marissabrameyer · 2 years

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5/11 Labels & Movements

I've been thinking about labels a lot recently so I love that this is the topic for the first day of class. I'm queer, I've been out as some form of queer since 2012 and my relationship to labels has changed a lot over time. At first I really appreciated labels, having language to describe the things that I was feeling internally was really liberating to me. Over time my labels changed as I discovered new words that better explained how I see myself. This has been especially true since I started working in trans history, as reading about different ways that humans have described themselves over time has helped me parse out my own identities. But then for a while I just called myself queer. The sheer number of labels available can be overwhelming and for a while I was content with just the label that my sexuality and gender are non-normative and that is beautiful. I still largely hold that belief, but I have since found the labels that truly describe me and thus I once again have a more fonder relationship with labels. Of course I have been labeled by others as well, I grew up in the suburbs of Houston and went to a 5A high school where I was one of two out queer people...out of two thousand students. Slurs were used towards me, but my memory of high school is more a general feeling of bad vibes and disbelonging.

I'm white and grew up in an upper-middle class family so queerness is the only vector by which I really experience harmful labeling. I try not to label others anymore given my experience with being mislabeled or maliciously labeled. I had never thought about specifically the hispanic v. latino argument before todays readings. I knew the technical differences between the two, but my engagement with these labels is with the more recent divide between latine and latinx. And since I've been in graduate school I've been exposed to scholarship that uses more specific language like Mestiz@, Chicano/a, Nepantleras etc. So given the discussion of hispanic signifying right-leaning politics and latino signifying left-leaning politics, I thought back to my childhood and realized that much of the political content I was exposed to (right-wing) used the term hispanic. I found it interesting that conservatives found lumping all spanish-speaking peoples together to be more useful as opposed to linking on the basis of latin american heritage. It is understandable though as conservative politics thrive on pitting white Americans against the highly recognizable, but still vague and amorphous "other". For that purpose, it would make sense that they would denote the defining characteristic of the "other" as being a spanish speaker.

I think there are absolutely benefits to labels, as we can see in Anzaldua's work. Labels like chicano/a, mestiz@, and nepantlera resonate really well with people who have spent their entire existence in a liminal space, not belonging to a specific side of the US-Mexico border, but both, and also neither. People can find liberation and community in labels. We are able to more effectively find others like us and advocate for ourselves when we have language to describe our experience. But hyperfocusing on labels, and the labeling associated with identity politics can be extremely detrimental. No label will ever fully encompass a person's identity and so each label is at least partially incomplete and inaccurate. Additionally, every label has politics and a history behind it and thus being labeled, by yourself or by an outside party has political implications that very much affect the labelee's material reality.

I think everyone uses labels to some extent. Nerd, athlete, gamer, kpop stan are all labels that help describe different aspects of people's identities. So on a very basic level, if I identify as a gamer, I am going to look for other gamers. As a queer person, I look for other queer people. We're all just trying to make sense of the insane world that we live in and how our unique (and shared) experiences affect the way we show up in the world. Labels are just one vector by which people make sense of the world around them. Yet labels have a deeply problematic history. Labeling and dividing up humans is historically how a minority ruling class keeps the majority working class suppressed.

To end on a positive note, there is a bunch of recent media that is making steps towards providing authentic representation of different labeled identities. "Crush" on Hulu and "Dr Strange in the Multiverse of Madness" are my two most recent examples of this, and while Marvel's relationship with queerness is definitely not healthy, it makes me so happy that the current generation of queer girls can see themselves represented in comic book movies. We stan America Chavez and Xochitl Gomez. We now have a young, brown, queer superhero in the MCU and that is beautiful.

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scandalsavagefanfic · 3 years

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Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is.

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative.

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency.

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him.

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine.

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

#Batman #red hood #batman: urban legends #nice art #shit story #or at least shit characterization #jason todd deserves better #this response got long and I didn't edit it #please forgive any errors #and/or unclear spots #spoilers

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omegas-spaghettios · 3 years

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In Defense of Hunter, Wrecker, Tech, and Echo

I want to clarify that I like Crosshair. I used to love him and I just kinda like him now, but he's a great character. I hold nothing against his fans. I just want to talk about how people are slandering these 4 like they did everything wrong when everything they did was pretty justified.

I need to talk about Crosshair's chip, because that affects how we all view these final episodes. While I agree things don't add up completely, Cross has no scar, nursing a headache, etc., his behavior DOES indicate he is telling the truth.

Chipped clones have been shown to show loyalty to the Empire above all else. They killed the jedi, they'll kill innocents, they forget all sentimentality, and we see with Jesse that they will more than happily die to accomplish the chip's commands. The Batch has experience with this with Captain Grey in the premiere and later Wrecker. Chipped clones are basically battle droids.

Crosshair does not act like that at all. He shows sentiment and loyalty to personal history, he defies orders to even kill his fellow imperials, and he puts aside his anger in order to escape Kamino. NONE of those things are congruent with him having a chip in at all. So while it doesn't add up completely either way, the evidence honestly seems to favor that he's telling the truth as his behavior is a huge tell that has not been shown to be able to be countered for more than a few seconds (love you Rex) while an absence of a scar could indicate a variety of things and the headache can honestly just be chronic pain from his insane head injury in Episode 8. I'm not saying that is the truth, but what I am saying is the evidence provided can easily line up to more than make it believable that Wrecker, Echo, and Tech believe he has it out.

Wrecker does know what a chip feels like, so we all expected more empathy from him, but Crosshair is not acting the way did Wrecker did AT ALL. Wrecker lost all control and immediately tried to kill the people he loves most, while as stated Crosshair is exhibiting almost opposite behavior. Wrecker knows what a chip does to you and Crosshair is definetly not showing that, so why would Wrecker show empathy for it? Wrecker knows first hand that is not what the chip does to you so it more than makes sense that he sees Crosshair's behavior and story and believes it.

Crosshair's intense feelings of Supremacy and loyalty to the Empire are not out of no where. We see in TCW that he is incredibly cruel about regs, he has always hated them. So considering the journey he went on this season it does feel like a realistic progression of belief.

Crosshair also is hurting his own cause here. Now we as the audience know for sure he had it in for Episode 1, we are shown explicit evidence. We have no idea when he got it out though due to the lack of a scar, and his refusal to specify hurts him here because what he actually did as himself vs. chipped is VERY important. I also want to say that while the audience knows Crosshair has the chip in in Episode 1, no evidence is provided to the Batch to know that, so Crosshair saying he had it out "a long time ago" means it is reasonable that the Batch could even suspect everything he did since Episode 1 was him. And here's a quick rundown of some things he did this season that the Batch would know about:

Obeyed Order 66 and shot at a child jedi even when ordered to stand down

Advocated to kill civilians to the others

Shot Wrecker and used him as bait to lure the others out

Lead dozens of Troopers to Bracca to kill them

Went out of his way to order his troops to kill Omega during that confrontation within earshot of Hunter

Tried to burn them all alive with an Ion Engine

Contributed to the oppression of Ryloth

Arrested Howzer, a clone who was trying to do the right thing

Spouted supremacist jargon about how they are superior to regs (something Hunter, Tech, and Wrecker have been shown to be softening up on)

Said the might of the Empire was the only way and basically gave them all the choice to join or die.

And remember, our heroes just got the revelation that potentially all of those actions were taken of Crosshair's own free will. They have every right to be harsh or unwelcoming after that. Sure they didn't try to rescue him but he also tried to put multiple blaster bolts through their heads, no one is innocent.

So the general coldness and harshness is more than understandable considering that Crosshair just admitted to trying to get them all killed on multiple occasions on his own free will, that would sour your relationship with anyone I reckon, so why are they expected to be okay with Crosshair doing all of that?

Anyway, to specifics. When Wrecker says Crosshair never even tried to come back and that they would have taken him, there is truth to that. During both Bracca and Ryloth, Crosshair was right there and had opportunities to turn heel and help them all escape, but he never did. I've seen this described as victim-blaming but you guys need to realize that Crosshair has potentially done ALL of this of his own free will and is actively trying to pull the others to the Empire. Wrecker is right, Crosshair put more effort into killing or converting them than he ever did in returning. It's harsh but it's true.

And Tech saying it's in his nature is like, classic Tech. I don't necessarily agree that they all have set paths due to their biology like Tech does, but Tech began this season rattling off about how Wrecker was made to be the way he was, this is just how Tech rolls.

The one I see a lot is after Crosshair rescues Omega and they still have the guns up and then never thank him. First of all, Crosshair never thanked them either for saving his life so let's not go around expecting any shows of gratitude from everyone. But more importantly, how were they supposed to know that Crosshair was saving Omega? As a viewer I legit thought he was aiming for Hunter there, it makes more than enough sense that they pulled their weapons on him. And considering their recent history, it makes sense that all three of them keep their weapons up longer than needed, both Hunter and Omega are potentially at risk. We all saw how quickly all of them drew their weapons in Episode 13 at even the slightest hint of danger to Omega. Considering everything before, it makes sense they kept them up until he disarmed himself, that's just good self defense honestly.

And my final point:

CROSSHAIR WAS NOT ABANDONED AT THE END OF THE SEASON

He was given multiple invitations and opportunities to join. Sure, he was not made to feel all that welcome, but even after all of the season and the finale, Wrecker stops to ask if he is coming and Hunter gives him one last chance. He was given many opportunities to go with them. He said he made his choice, that isn't abandonment, that's stepping away.

In Conclusion

Honestly all 6 of the main characters really dropped the ball on this season's conflict and no one is blameless or unjustified.

I'm not mad about it because it makes for compelling character drama, but everyone involved kinda didn't do their best, so maybe let's not slander one side over the other?

(Small lists of commenters who showed interest is seeing this: @violettavie @shilsvampsinger @rain-over-kamino )

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #clone force 99 #ct 9904 #crosshair #hunter #omega #tech #wrecker #echo

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lvnatiq · 3 years

Text

Random Relationship Headcanons | Felix Escellun x gn!reader

a/n: Hey ! On todays menu I am serving you modern au relationship headcanons. I know for a fact that I can’t write headcanons AT ALL yet here we are, out of spite I will keep trying until I can manage to write good shit. I’m going through a chaotic time in my life so please be patient with me 😭

I’m currently working on tattoo artist! reader x Felix headcanons and college!enemies to lovers one-shot. Knowing that Felix’s fav trope is enemies to lovers, I will post it hopefully before his new chapter drops. I used most of the hcs that were sent to me but if you couldn’t see yours, then it will probably be used on the other works.

No beta we die like men.

warnings: curse words, nsfw under the cut, random sage moments, felix being a ‘the neighborhood’ song basically.

You persuade him to start an Instagram account, and because of his family's popularity, he quickly gains followers. His account is practically empty because he would rather spend his time stalking your account on Instagram. You noticed the emptiness and wanted to take him out and take some photos for his account, which turned out amazingly. He is a little camera shy, so be patient with him.

You like to watch him apply his eyeliner but he finds it so stressing to do under your gaze. He used to be able to do it easily, but it has now become one of his most difficult tasks. You wanted to ask for his assistance in applying eyeliner to you in the hopes of making it simpler for him; he agreed but quickly regretted it when he realized how near your faces would be. You with your eyes closed, waiting for him to drag the line as he was only thinking about how bad he wanted to kiss you.

Felix has a Polaroid of you and stella in his wallet I said what I said.

When it comes to himself, he can be a pessimist, but when it comes to you, he is the most loving and positive boyfriend you could ever ask for. You have a dream ? He is ready to help you achieve it. Do you want to change in your life ? Go for it, He’s more excited than you are.

He can be quite insecure at times when it comes to your relationship because he feels like you deserve the world but the world is too big for his tiny hands. Will his cuddles be enough ? God he hopes so.

He almost cried when you told him you loved him for the first time. He's also baffled as to how you might feel the same way about him.

Drunk Felix is really clingy and honest. Whatever he can’t say sober drunk felix can and definitely will.

“May the stars let my death be between your glorious thighs amen-“ “Felix-”

Felix is weird but it add to his charm. It’s not unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night and find the pillow besides yours empty. In the dead of night, you will find Felix munching on some weird ass food combinations.

He also has a habit of doing things that are extremely adorable without even noticing it. Like walking around the house in his oversized shirts, his hand clutching at the cuffs whilst the other one sheepishly rubs his eye.

“Can I lay on your lap ? I promise I won’t fall asleep. I just need to rest for a little.” His voice is so soft and hushed. “Of course, come here.” He throws himself onto you as he comes hopping on his tip toes.

He falls asleep on his desk too often, so you have to carry him back to his room, where he snuggles against you while you lead him there. Once he's in his room, he insists that you stay with him, so you wait until he falls asleep as you play with his hair, and he wakes up thinking it was all a dream.

I firmly believe that Felix’s love language is acts of service. Like making you coffee and bringing you random snacks as you work or wrapping you up in fluffy blankets whenever he catches you slacking on the couch.

He's been romanticizing anything and everything since he met you. When he sees beautiful flowers, he wants to bring them to you, but he also believes that their beauty stems from the fact that they are alive, so he argues and stresses a lot when deciding what to do in simple situations like these.

His edginess belongs to his impulsiveness and his style only at any other situation he's a complete softboy.

And I'm certain he knows a variety of card tricks. He enjoys showing off, and he enjoys it even more when you become fascinated and beg him to share the trick.

If you're a morning person, you'll probably spend your mornings alone in solitude, finishing work before the day begins, but if you're a night owl, you and Felix will go out for night walks and Felix would go out for night walks, sharing headphones to play some music, enjoy each others presence and develop a habit of watching the sunrise together.

Felix makes you playlists at the most random times and with the most random names. Until one day he sent you a playlist at around 4 a.m called “you”, filled with his favorite music. He usually sees music as a safe space for himself and now that you are his safe place too it’s only appropriate for him to do so. This only further proves how he spends his time thinking about you.

I feel like Felix would have what most would call "attachment issues" but it’s mainly because of his protective tendencies. This is not to say that he’s this "overly jealous toxic" character; rather, he has never had anyone to truly call his own in his entire life so he would do anything to protect it.

Felix is also big on astrology, so if you want the perfect birth chart, he'll give it to you. Also he owns a lovely deck of tarot cards, and if you ask him for a love reading, he can't manage to keep his words and feelings to himself so he modifies your reading according to him and his desires. Let the boy abuse his powers for the sake of love.

His style could be described as dark academia, his wardrobe mainly consists of dark colors, lots and lots of blazers and a lot of oversized shirts. He also loves jewelry so he owns a lot of rings and chains. Just so you know, if you're wearing any of his rings, his heart is doing cartwheels.

Is it obvious that he loves it when you place your hand in his and play with his rings with your fingertips.

Spoil him. Buy him that baby blue hoodie with cat ears.

“Ah, you look adorable.” “Isn’t it a bit too b-big ?” “You could say that. Do you mind ?” “No, I like it that way.” “I would know.” You smirk followed by felix’s gasp. “If you so desperately wanted a cat boy you know you have me right ?” Nudging your shoulder, Sage leapt into the conversation. “What is he talking about ?” Felix grumbled, only to notice two fuzzy triangular fabrics on top of his head as he brushed his fingertips over it.

He’s obsessed with your hands, kissing your knuckles, drawing circles in your palm. At a certain point it became an involuntary gesture he does it quite often without realizing.

He’s also canonically extremely blushy but he would never admit it. You’re convinced he uses some sort of make up because it is not possible for the pink dusting his cheeks to look this good.

He insists that you’re cold even in the warmest weathers because he wants to see you in his coat.

Sage forces Felix to take his thirst trap Tiktoks.

He really appreciates it when you add to his herbal tea collection without him noticing and he considers it a sign of affection because he takes his tea very seriously.

He loses it when you call him baby he gets flustered and frustrated but it’s all because it rolls off of your tongue so nicely that he can’t get enough of it.

Felix owns a broad collection of scented lip balms some of them are tinted. You didn’t hear this from me.

He never once took anything the Sage says seriously until he saw how well you two got along. He never thought that he would be standing there taking relationship and flirting advice from the frat boy.

Felix is a complete asshole when he wants to. He’s very verbal about it too. Consistent sarcastic remarks and eye rolls. I mean it runs in his blood, look at Escell.

You love it when he suddenly whips out the confident Felix, it’s not a daily occurrence you know.

When Felix is concentrated, he’s lost and there’s almost no way you or anything else can distract him. So it’s time to grab some colorful hair clips and ties to fuck around with his hair.

Felix is not the best at verbally expressing his gratitude towards you. He doesn’t know what he would do if you weren’t there for him at the lowest points of his life where normally he would close himself and bare the weight of his family problems and personal life issues that he can’t seem to get out of. Now he has you, someone who’s willing to listen to him and offer him a warm embrace when he needs the most.

While you to play games together, when he wins he wears that iconic shit eating grin of his with pride looking at you through the corner of his eye. “Shit, what do you want me to say to that felix ? Perhaps I should call you master now that you won ‘one’ fucking round.” He is praying that the screen light is covering the fact that he is a blushy mess after hearing you say that.

NSFW

I cannot stress this enough but he is extremely vocal in bed. Whining, trying to restrict himself from making too much noise but failing miserably.

Muffled pants, choked sobs and lots of pleasure infused tears.

He loves getting praised during sex but what he loves more is to get praised after it’s all over. Like you telling him how great he was, how well he behaved, how good he made you feel. He experiences sub drops a lot so please assure him that he did well :(

He’s into power-play but not in a submissive or dominant kind of relationship, it’s more of a psychological thing where the fact that he can see how good he makes you feel gives him a rush of confidence and adrenaline.

I believe that this motherfucker is a masochist, pain makes him more excited than getting an update on his favorite author who went on a year long hiatus and that is saying a lot.

Bite him. Scratch him. It is so stimulating for him he can reach his high just from those actions.

Fuck do anything to his ears bite, lick, pull, blow on it. He is extremely sensitive so anything you do will basically drive him out of his mind. It will most definitely lead to him trembling beneath your fingertips.

You must think that you are the only one who is such a tease but you’re wrong. Felix teases you quite often mostly to direct your attention towards him or to keep your attention on him. He’s quite greedy when it comes to you and your hands on his body. Unbuttoning unnecessary amount of buttons on his shirt to show a little skin that he knows you’ll notice. Playing with his necklace placing the chain between his lips dragging it towards the inside of his bottom lip teasing the metallic charm with the tip of his tongue. He definitely ain’t oblivious he knows exactly what he’s doing and he makes sure that you know exactly what he’s doing.

When he’s in the mood he will tug the hem of your top meanwhile his eyes are glued to the floor or graze the temples of his glasses between his lips, his teeth lightly nibbling the pointy edge. He loves to play dumb too. When you question him, he acts like he doesn’t intend anything and that you need to get your head out of the gutter.

At the end of the session Felix looks divine. Drool leaking down from his bottom lip to his jaw line towards his neck, his bangs sticking on his sweat coated forehead, his chest rising up and down quickly. His eyes rolled at the back of his head, his hands still clutching tightly to the sheets. Faint whimpers and deep breaths filling the air.

Leading up to the after care, his shy self returns. He buries his face to your chest hiding his blushy cheeks beneath the palms of his hands.

He likes to experiment a lot and you are his favorite subject.

It shouldn’t be surprising to find random kink definitions or role-play ideas on the search history of your laptop. After all Felix just asked for it to write an email, that’s all there is to it. That’s until you offer to try them out.

He doesn’t act upon his jealousy, what he does instead is that leaving marks on you especially around your neck and your chest where he knows it will show. Don’t cover them up if you don’t wanna deal with him.

“People just don’t appreciate art anymore.” “Felix these are, hickeys.” “Oh so now you are judging my art medium ?” “Since when proving Sage that I got railed by you is a form of art ?”

I didn’t see anyone point this out but whenever he is in the sub space he tends to be more on the bratty side. He starts of shy but his confidence builds up as the tension rises. Meaning that you should be ready to get your patience tested.

When you two are in separate places your suggestive words and tone leads up to phone sex, which Felix secretly fantasized about a lot. What made everything even more dirty was the fact that you didn’t know that he was laying on your bed surrounded by your scent and humping your pillow. Once you come back home you are greeted with a fresh pair of sheets on your bed. Apparently Felix decided to do you a favor and clean your room as well as the the whole house. He’s crossing fingers that you don’t notice because he knows that he’ll never hear the end of it.

Felix knows a lot about sex but his knowledge is based upon fiction rather than experience. So, naturally, he is more interested about learning specifically how your body responds to certain actions, what you enjoy and what you’re interested in so teach him. He’s a good student and oh well he’s a quick learner.

Pull his hair pull his hair put his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair.

When he settles between your legs as he ties his hair, he places the hairband between his lips and looks up at you with half lidded eyes. It’s his definition of torture.

Even though he doesn’t give off that vibe, he is very freaky if you would’ve known what his AO3 tags consisted of you would agree.

Tag list is open

#felix escellun #felix #fictif felix #last legacy #fictif #fictif last legacy #nyx hydra #felix escellun x reader #felix x reader #mc #felix fictif

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