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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 4 months

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queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me

since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.

(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)

harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.

harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.

louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around

the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!

louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.

the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”

louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'

harry flirting with stanley tucci

louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!

all along

harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc

rainbow flare during the btm mv

harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes

28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!

kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing

harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?

harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)

louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling

harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."

louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour

harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket

louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel

harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)

louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival

harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."

continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here

harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel

louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar

harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)

harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23

the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals

harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally

as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.

louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it

oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too

harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped

that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????

harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up

louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks

harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex

harry dressed in skirts for gucci

"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"

"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"

satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt

louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????

harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits

harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol

and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.

#queer signalling #my posts #long post #anyways............. hmu if you have more bc i know there's more that i've forgotten but i didn't want to wait #but these were my personal highlights #this is for me more than anyone i know. i don't really know if anyone's really waiting on this #but i personally have been feeling like i gloss over a lot #and forget a lot #and minimise a lot for fear of making a big thing out of something small #but... then i make big things into something small.#which i hate #going through my archive just shows how fast an event passes by and i just stopped talking about it #ive complained about this many a time i know #anygays #for whoever wants to come scream with me <3 #also i have left out some events that were too easily deniable and i didn't want to clutter the post #since what's actual tangibly real and straight from them is so insane already #also that gif is how i feel rn.#how i often feel tbh #i want to be braver again

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savage-rhi · 1 year

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Immortal Shield Chapter 33: Day One

**DM or comment if you want to be tagged in updates on tumblr

**To read previous chapters, hit this link

Tagging: @seradyn

The first thing Caelan became conscious of was the sensation of being weightless. Leaving the comfort of the mattress sheets had her body shudder out of inclination, until she felt something warm against her flesh. As soft as her own skin. Instinctively, Caelan nuzzled her head into it. The familiar scent emitting from Ardyn’s body reassured her mind she was safe. Whatever was happening, he was right there to protect her.

Still caught between reality and the realm of slumber, Caelan didn’t register Ardyn carrying her naked body in his arms; walking them both to the bathroom. Even when Ardyn stepped foot into the tub and submerged the both of them in hot water, Caelan was still out like a rock. The heat slowly began to stir her senses regardless of her desires to stay asleep.

A chuckle rumbled through Ardyn while he adjusted himself in the tub, still cradling Caelan close. His tired eyes glanced over her face, head canting curiously. He brought a hand to her face, wet from the water and gently stroked his fingertips against her cheek. The back of his knuckles soon after repeated the same motions, enjoying the soft texture of her flesh against the rough hide of his own.

“Shaa ah haraakii” He murmured, watching her begin to wake. The small gasp that left Caelan when her body realized it was in something warm had him smile. Ardyn leaned down to capture her lips in a lazy kiss then pulled away. His head leaned back against the wall to the tub, closing his eyes while enjoying the steam from the water rise up into the bathroom. His lungs exhaled contently while his fingers absentmindedly fiddled with Caelan’s hair, feeling some of the lengths becoming wet. The smell of the mint and spices he had burnt before drawing the bath water danced among the fog emitting from the waters surface.

“How long have you been awake?” Caelan yawned, shutting her eyes while she remained in Ardyn’s grasp. Her head resting near the crook of his neck. She could still smell his sweat from their lovemaking on him.

“An hour at most,” Ardyn replied. His voice was content. “It’s approaching twilight. Insomnia continues to thrive in the darkness. The dawn will arrive soon.”

“You’re awfully poetic for getting two hours of rest.” Caelan whispered into his skin. They both chuckled at the comment to which Ardyn tilted his head and looked down at her. His golden eyes met Caelan’s exhausted gaze. There were no words exchanged for a time as they combed over each other’s faces.

“I suppose I am. What of it?” Ardyn asked curiously.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” Caelan sighed. Her smile never ceased to leave even as she leaned up and kissed him. The kiss was longing, and they both groaned from the contact before separation.

“Good answer.”

Ardyn leaned his head against hers, his legs stretching out in full in the water while Caelan remained curled up to him. His brows furrowed momentarily. “It might be too early to ask, but how are you fairing?”

Caelan hummed in thought, still fighting the urge to go back to sleep. The water in the tub felt comfortable like their bed, and she could feel the temptation to shut her eyes grow with each passing second.

“I’m feeling good,” Caelan nodded. “A little sore, but I’ll live.”

“Nothing feels off?”

“No,” Caelan raised a brow, shaking her head against him. “Should I be concerned?”

“No,” Ardyn mused. “My paranoia is getting the best of me. That’s all.”

“A penny for your thoughts?”

“I’m much too tired to entertain that mind of yours.” Ardyn countered playfully.

“Pfft,” Caelan huffed and grinned. Her eyes opened more. She made a face looking up at Ardyn.

“This is coming from the man who stated he was out of practice and couldn’t please me long.”

Ardyn couldn’t suppress the snort that left his body. He let out a tired laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. The dimmed lighting in the bathroom hid the blush to his face rather well.

“Would it begrudge you to let me off the hook with that statement?”

“It’ll cost you.” Caelan teased. She was about to say another witty remark at his expense, until a switch went off in her mind. Caelan’s eyes widened while she moved away from Ardyn’s chest, looking upon him with worry as she sat up more in the tub. The water gently splashed against them both from her actions.

“Cahl?” Ardyn was equally concerned as he reached up with both his hands, cupping her face out of comfort as he too rose up from the water. “What is it?”

“We weren’t safe,” Caelan muttered. Her breathing began to pick up. Her right hand pinched the bridge between her eyebrows. “We didn’t use protection. Shit.”

Ardyn let out a sigh of relief. His pulse went down as he chuckled. “There’s no need to fret.”

“No need to fret?” Caelan repeated. She was visibly confused. The situation was rather serious. Her eyes carded over Ardyn's face like he had just gone insane. Her back tremored feeling his damp hands comb through her hair, thumb rubbing circles into her right cheek after the fact.

“I forgot you have no recollection,” Ardyn muttered. His gaze traveled down her body in admiration, gathering his thoughts before meeting Caelan's eyes. “I’m incapable of giving you children. If you’re still concerned, I’ll purchase what you need to ensure you have peace. I'm aware there are medicines for such occasions. Far more than what we had during my time.”

“Oh,” Caelan blinked a few times. "That's not...necessary, I guess."

There remained puzzlement upon Caelan's features, yet the concerns she carried were soon discarded at Ardyn's admittance. She was so caught up with questions she wanted to ask Ardyn, that she didn’t feel him coax her to his chest again while they lied back down in the water, their heads and shoulders protruding from the surface. Her legs stretched out alongside his. The rise and fall of his chest offered comfort to her mind.

“Can I ask you about it?”

Ardyn didn’t answer right away. He could sense his own discomfort towards the subject brewing. Nevertheless, when he thought it over, Ardyn felt Caelan deserved to know this about himself. Even if he had conflicted feelings. He felt comfortable confiding in her.

“Of course,” He replied. “What do you wish to know?”

“When did you find out?” Caelan murmured. She focused on Ardyn's breathing while her ear pressed to his chest.

“When I was first taken to Niflheim after being unleashed from Angelgard,” Ardyn looked up towards the ceiling. His memories gathered before him. “Verstael and his scientists performed studies upon me over a period of seven months. In hindsight, most of the tests were quite painful and cruel. They shared many results with me. I can scarcely conjure them up now, but three that stand out most regarded my cell regeneration, my body acting as a conduit to the scourge, and my infertility.”

“Are you disappointed?” Caelan wasn’t sure how best to word her question. She could feel Ardyn hum underneath her, wondering if maybe that was too personal of thing to ask despite their relationship being upped to another level. There was a part of Caelan too that wanted to go back in time and wring Verstael by the neck. She didn’t like thinking about what they had done to Ardyn to get the results for such things.

“I’m rather mixed,” Ardyn admitted. His free hand that wasn’t holding Caelan to him rubbed the back of his neck. “Knowing Verstael, I wouldn’t have put it past the man to weaponize my genetic material. He had tried so at one point with my blood, but the scourge put an end to that. The young man you met last night, Prompto, he was one of Verstael’s many clones for the magitek army.”

It’s definitely too early to be hearing about this…Caelan thought to herself briefly. She let out a nervous breath, swallowing. The coolness of Ardyn’s voice as he explained the situation had goosebumps travel down her spine. As much as she wanted to go off road in subject regarding Prompto, Caelan stuck to the questions she already had brewed up.

“Do you know what caused it?”

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that. I don’t know if the infertility was caused by the scourge or if I am predisposed. It would’ve been something. Had I taken the throne and couldn’t produce heirs, Somnus would’ve gotten what he wanted after all." Ardyn sighed. "I would’ve had to step down at some point. The idiot could’ve avoided so much bloodshed had he just wait it out.”

Ardyn chuckled, finding amusement in how morbid the situation was when he really thought on it. He looked at Caelan finding her trying to resist a laugh but it couldn’t be helped. It felt good putting her at ease given how serious of a topic this was.

“Did you ever want to be a father?” Caelan felt nervous asking him this, wondering yet again if she was crossing an unspoken line. Even more so as Ardyn’s brows knitted. His left thumb combing underneath her earlobe relaxed Caelan. It appeared he could sense the apprehension in her words and tried to offer comfort.

“Aera and I discussed starting a family. It was too dangerous to consider while I absorbed the scourge, and had been at war with Somnus. We thought if the Gods deemed me worthy as king and once the dust settled between my brother I, we could visit the possibility.” He paused for a moment, thinking over something before he continued.

“My heart lay with the people of Lucis and taking care of them. I didn't yearn for much other than to serve. I would’ve given Aera children because I loved her, but I don’t think I would’ve been the best parent if I’m being completely honest with myself. What about you, have you contemplated such things?”

Caelan almost missed his question, still processing everything he openly shared with her. It felt like another level of trust had been established she had not considered. She shrugged against him, feeling more steam rise from the tub.

“I can’t see myself being a mom much less comprehend anyone wanting to sleep with me.”

“Minus last night.” Ardyn corrected.

“Of course.”

They both laughed for a while, until Caelan decided to continue answering his question.

“When I was growing up, crownsguard were encouraged to have families. To give them motivation to keep protecting Insomnia. There was an old saying among the guard that tied into the concept, 'let love be your guiding armor'. It never felt instinctual for me. I mean if it happened, I could adapt, but I feel like there’s more I can do than just being designated a soldier and parent. If that makes sense.”

“It makes perfect sense,” Ardyn stated. He was quiet for a time before a soft smile graced his features. “You’re the first person I’ve told about any of this.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” Caelan mused, giving him a wink after he planted a kiss to her cheek.

Ardyn chuckled. “You’re a wonderful person. I hope you never lose that side of yourself as I lost mine.”

“Hey,” Caelan’s tone was soft while she gently grasped either side of Ardyn’s face. He turned from her touch, eyes boring into hers. She admired how pleased he looked upon feeling her fingertips card over the stubble on his face.

“There’s still Ardyn Lucis Caelum in there underneath Izunia. I’ve seen him.”

“What do you think about him?” Ardyn murmured, smiling proudly at her.

“I think he’s feeling safe to come out more.”

“That he is,” Ardyn paused. He let a sigh out through his nose, pressing his mouth to Caelan’s forehead and nuzzled her with his nose. Though he was reassured by Caelan’s remarks, there still remained a question that troubled him.

“Would being at my side become a dealbreaker if I can’t give you a family?”

“Absolutely not,” Caelan replied and leaned up from Ardyn’s body. "You are my family."

She gestured her arms out to welcome Ardyn to her embrace. A surprised yelp left Caelan as Ardyn grabbed her by the waist and brought her to his lap, her legs on either side of his. The water from the tub slushed against them both from the adjustment. Her laughter became prominent while Ardyn buried his face in her chest. His arms snaked around Caelan fully to keep her locked to him.

Caelan sighed in defeat, resting her chin atop of Ardyn's head while her arms slung over his neck, fingers twisting and pulling his dampened locks. She could feel Ardyn adjust to where his right ear was pressed to her heart. He tightened his embrace. The security had him feel a calming storm of sensations radiate through his being.

“I love you very much,” Ardyn muttered aloud, closing his eyes and enjoying the peace that surrounded Caelan's touch.

“I love you too--wait,”

“Hm?”

“It dawned on me,” Caelan watched Ardyn pull his head away. He peered up at her with a questionable look.

“You said something about me not having recollection.”

“Oh, that...”

“Ardyn, what aren’t you telling me?”

The growl that left Caelan made Ardyn snort. There was a part of himself that hoped she would have overlooked his earlier statements. Nonetheless, this was Caelan he was dealing with. He should’ve known better than to assume she’d not keep track of the little details. Sighing in defeat, Ardyn pressed a kiss to her heart then pulled back to face her in full. If he was going to be honest, he wasn’t going to cower before her.

“Do you remember our time at Lestallum, the night we enjoyed the festival?”

Caelan nodded. She gestured for him to continue while her fingers played with the back ends of his hair.

“I wasn’t truthful with you the morning after,” Ardyn began. At the time he didn’t feel shame about exploding towards her, but now he could feel it creep in as he continued.

“Feelings were shared between you and I while we were under the influence. One thing led to another. You passed out before we could proceed our activity.”

The confession hit Caelan like a ton of bricks. Ardyn could easily see her mind absorbing the information and fitting it into the unfinished puzzle she no doubt would solve on her own. Remorse took over his features as he sighed.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” The sincerity of Caelan's voice was something Ardyn didn’t feel he deserved at the moment, yet he appreciated her compassion.

“I was being an idiot,” Ardyn bluntly admitted. “I was frustrated and scared. When you told me you couldn’t remember much from the night, I felt awful. Not because of you, but my actions. I had feelings for you I hadn’t confronted, and I wrongfully assumed you only returned the favor because you were intoxicated. I came close to devouring you without a second thought. I was ashamed of myself. I wouldn’t blame you not forgiving my transgressions.”

“You’re being an idiot now,” Caelan mused. She giggled seeing the confusion on Ardyn’s face. Her nose pressed to his, nuzzling from time to time before coaxing him to kiss her. She parted before he could deepen his actions.

“To think I wouldn’t forgive you.” Caelan finished, smirking upon seeing the devious look in his eyes grow.

“You’re terrible, holding me on the edge like that.”

“Consider it payback for all the times you held me on the edge last night.” Caelan teased.

“But you enjoyed yourself, no?”

Caelan nodded. There was no lying to him there regarding what they had done. She didn’t regret anything. Even when she was scared earlier on that there’d be repercussions. As her mind and body awakened more, Caelan was bombarded by memories of Ardyn and the things he had done to her last night. Her body had dedicated his touch to it’s blueprint, and she could feel herself getting aroused with little to no effort. His earlier remark didn’t help in the slightest.

“It’s getting cold,” His voice broke her out of her thoughts. “Do you want me to take you back to bed, so you can rest?”

Damn him…Caelan thought to herself. For someone that once doomed Eos and every living thing on the planet, Ardyn’s consideration was endearing. It amazed her how he acted this way for it was a stark contrast to his public persona she could remember from years ago.

“I had fun being carried here,” Caelan smiled. “But I think I can walk back on my own.”

Ardyn nodded. He was reluctant, but let Caelan get off of his lap after untangling his arms from her body. The sound of the water being thrashed about as they both rose up echoed through his ears. He was the first to get out of the tub, grabbing a towel for Caelan and then himself. Once they were both dried off, Ardyn took a hold of Caelan’s right hand and guided her back to the room.

There was a sudden pause in his steps as Caelan remained in place, looking out the windows of the Via and to the city. In the distance the sun was coming up over the first of Insomnia’s large skyscrapers. Ardyn canted his head curiously, seeing the awe and wonderment in her eyes grow. He smiled and decided to join her. He approached Caelan from behind, wrapping his arms around her naked form. His own body pressed to her while his chin rested upon her right shoulder.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Caelan murmured. There was a pain in her voice that didn’t go undetected by Ardyn as he pressed his lips to her neck. His nose inhaling her scent.

“I’m right here, sweet girl.”

“I know,” Caelan sighed and smiled. There was no easy way to convey her worries about the oncoming days. The information she inadvertently gathered from Prompto and what Ardyn and she discussed on the rooftop of the Via began to invade the contentment both she and him had created. There was a lot of uncertainty. And Caelan was still grappling with her near death experience on top of it all. She wasn’t as scared versus the night Tempus shot her, but fears regarding her mortality began to pool in her gut. The thought of never being at Ardyn’s side again to protect and help him was overwhelming. So much so she started tearing up.

Ardyn felt one of Caelan’s tears land on his nose since he was still at her neck. He carefully pulled away, not before gently grabbing Caelan’s shoulders and having her turn and face him.

“Look at me,” Ardyn commanded. He waited and watched as Caelan lifted her head. The pain in her eyes had Ardyn swallow while he maintained his composure. He wasn’t used to having someone cry on his behalf. Caelan had shed tears for him many times, but it never really hit him unlike now.

“Ji evaah tamdents koreyya aanas mdents evaah jiray colomo. Mdents koreyy ji.” Ardyn was slow as he spoke, making sure Caelan was able to decipher his words. The smile on her face was reassuring to him that she knew what he meant.

“You have my heart, and I have your back.” Caelan repeated. “I love you.”

“Your translations are improving with each passing day.” Ardyn chuckled. His left hand carded through Caelan’s hair, admiring how her face leaned into his touch. “I can’t promise what will happen when I see Noctis, but you do have me. I’m yours, Cahl. For whatever time we have.”

Both of them knew it would never be enough to fully tamper down the mixed feelings and fears either of them shared about their situation. Yet it did bring a calm and acceptance between them both as they basked in the others touch. Ardyn and Caelan hugged each other, letting their hands and bodies speak on their behalf. They remained as more of the suns rays began to bask throughout Insomnia.

“I’m curious about something,” Caelan broke their silence after a time. She could feel her nerves tamper down. “Does your name mean anything in God Speak?”

“Several, actually.” Ardyn mused, pulling back to look upon Caelan’s face. “The valley beyond, the place of solitude, valley of eagles. All fanciful and I’d argue theatrical at worst.”

“I noticed. It suits you though.” Caelan and he both chuckled. “What does my name mean in your tongue?”

Caelan could’ve sworn Ardyn was blushing hard under the warm glow of the room. A snort of a laugh escaped him.

“Darling,” Ardyn murmured.

“Yes?”

He started to laugh hard. Ardyn shook his head seeing how utterly flabbergasted Caelan had become. He bit the inside of his lip, debating with himself.

“Caelan isn’t translated well in my language. The closest to saying your name, is Cahl. Cahl means darling in God Speak.”

The confusion on Caelan’s features were paved away by an epiphany. She started to grin, unable to help herself. Warmth pooled from her heart and flooded wherever her body could contain it all. There were a plethora of emotions that hit her all at once at Ardyn's confession. It dare say rivaled everything she had felt last night with him. She averted her gaze, looking towards her and Ardyn’s feet upon feeling a heavy blush hit her cheeks.

“You were calling me darling, this whole time.” She whispered aloud, mostly to herself; letting the revelation sink in. Caelan was reconsidering several moments from the past they shared given this new context.

Ardyn let out a sigh, and nodded. There was no point in denying it. Not to her. He was smiling from ear to ear, feeling a sense of relief that he finally got this off his shoulders.

“I suppose if you’re offended, I could cease and desist.”

“Hold your tongue. You never give up that easily.” Caelan’s head shot up, looking him straight in the eyes as she laughed playfully. “We’re you ever going to tell me?”

“No,” Ardyn admitted as he shook his head. He chuckled at her jovial nature before his demeanor grew serious. Ardyn was nervous as he decided to lead in to a confession he had no intention to ever make to her. Up until now at least.

“I planned on taking that to my grave along with another. Since day one, you had me smitten.”

“Wait,” Caelan furrowed her brows, canting her head as she studied Ardyn’s expressions. He was never one to look truly scared. Scared in the sense that he was being judged in full, for Caelan had seen Ardyn when he was terrified. His confidence regarding the former was unmatched by any other man she had known in her life, yet Ardyn's eyes were giving away a well guarded secret. Caelan was silent. Not wanting to speak on his behalf and make assumptions, but her heart was stammering as miniscule things, little acts and body language she hadn’t paid attention to, came running back to her the day they met.

“I was drowning my woes nursing ale nearby a Trading Post. The night prior, I barely had rest. Too awake debating whether or not I should try again to snuff out my life. Several folks in Galdin Quay rejected my advances to be taken to Insomnia. I was beyond tired and irate. Suddenly, I heard a voice, and then I look to the Trading Post and saw a young woman arguing with the Post Master. There was a large corpse of a Flexitusk presented, tattered and in disarray. I chuckled at seeing folks leave the establishment because the smell was so off-putting.” Ardyn paused to cup Caelan’s face in his palms, his thumbs rubbed affectionate circles into her skin as he looked deeply into her eyes.

“It was quite the spectacle, listening to her attempt to barter and haggle with the oaf. I couldn’t stop smiling every so often. She had this--air about her I liked. So much so, I paid my tab and decided to follow. I learned she was struggling much like myself, and so I pursued her. Before I knew it, we were talking. I couldn’t stop looking at her. Even though it was clear she was put off by my company, I was drawn in. She had me taken by her mysterious reputation. Wondering what it could be. I didn’t stick around to find out, worried she had caught onto my observations. I handed her gil out of guilt for my trespass, then went away. I had no intention of giving up my name to anyone, yet it was so effortless letting it fall to her. There was a subconscious part of my being that wanted to see her again. I hoped she’d come find me. You can imagine my shock when she did just that, standing in front of my door at the inn. I had fears, many doubts, and conflict worth reckoning, but I knew I didn’t want her to leave.”

Ardyn rests his forehead to hers. Closing his eyes and breathing in Caelan’s scent. He’d never get tired of how she smelled. How she had held his heart since day one.

“I barely knew her, yet I felt at home.” He muttered. “I was so terrified of my fate, and missing my wife that I pushed this woman away. Again and again, until she was brave enough to stand on her own and told me what she wanted. I love her. I never thought I’d be capable of it again, yet here you are, Cahl--”

Ardyn’s breath hitched when he felt Caelan’s mouth come crashing against his. His body froze at first, but then as soon as Caelan’s arms wrapped around his shoulders and neck he was done for. His emotions broke through barriers he no longer cared to upkeep.

Ardyn stumbled backward with Caelan taking charge, his arms grasping around her waist. He let out a surprised grunt feeling his body tumble onto the bed. Caelan’s weight was a pleasurable welcome as he groaned into the kiss and forced his tongue past her lips to meet hers. His hands grasped either side of her face, the tension in Ardyn's body grew, yearning to take her again. One hand began to tug roughly on Caelan’s hair, causing her to gasp against his mouth while the other slid down her body and grabbed her thigh. The raspy moans she unleashed in between their shared breath edged him on. So much so that Ardyn didn’t realize he was being more aggressive to the point of hurting her. He also didn’t notice his claws venturing out, the tips of each sickle digging into Caelan’s skin to where they broke through.

“Ardyn--!” Caelan yelled out. The pained wince that left her had him growl. Ardyn forced himself to pull his lips away from hers and his eyes opened. He was met with a look of surprise on her behalf. It didn’t take him long enough to register that the scourge had made its presence known.

Gently, but with haste, Ardyn had Caelan move off his body. He was quick to sit near the edge of the bed, his face resting in his palms as he sighed with contention.

“I’m sorry,” Ardyn muttered, taking in several deep breaths before he glanced over his hands and arms. His body quaked. Sure enough the scourge had come forth. He shook his head. He was utterly abysmal, not registering Caelan crawl to him, her hands resting on his shoulders.

“It’s okay,” Caelan murmured.

“No it’s not,” Ardyn raised his voice. He muttered an apology under his breath several times over, his head bowed. He hated this side of himself and loathed how it showed up during a time he wanted nothing more than to claim his beloved.

“I didn’t mean to harm you, yet I did. Gods, this is humiliating. You deserve--me, not--this!”

“Ardyn,” Caelan moved around to where she was sitting beside him. He wouldn’t look at her.

There was still blood trickling down her thigh that Caelan ignored. All attention went to Ardyn and his plight. Furrowing her brows, Caelan debated with herself before she let out a breath. Both her hands reached out for his left arm. She carefully slide her fingers down his skin, tugging here and there. Her fingertips followed the black spider web patterns of the scourge upon his flesh. It was enough to get his attention. Ardyn's golden irises pulsed amongst the darkness of his eyes. Caelan kept her gaze locked on his while she trembled, then brought his wrist to her mouth. She suckled and kissed, leaving small bites here and there that had Ardyn biting his lip to suppress moans wishing for escape.

“Cahl--”

Caelan didn’t say a word as she stopped her ministrations. She slowly reached out to him, holding his face in her hands. She shuddered watching his daemonic eyes search hers with hesitation before giving him a soft kiss. They remained frozen in time, before she pulled away from the cold touch of his mouth.

“I love all parts of you, even this one.” Caelan murmured, her lips were mere inches from Ardyn's now while they shared breath. “It’s okay. I don’t mind it.”

“But I might--”

“Ardyn, you can let go.”

He shut his eyes, shaking his head.

“I--”

Caelan got up from the bed, deciding she wasn’t going to push Ardyn further. If he was uncomfortable, she would respect his wishes. Being daemonic wasn’t something he bragged about despite the vast powers he had at his disposal. She knew Ardyn well enough to know that on a fundamental level, as a man and human being, having the plague remain inside himself was a different hell most would never fathom.

Caelan offered Ardyn a smile, nudging his shoulder playfully. "I'm going to get us some snacks from the fridge, to ease the tension, yeah?"

Before she finished taking her first step, Caelan let out a startled gasp. She felt Ardyn’s right hand grab the back of her neck, keeping her in place with a forceful grip. His nose pressed to the back of her skull, breathing heavily against her. The sickle tips of his claws gently carded over her skin. The entirety of her naked flesh was covered in goosebumps. Fear and arousal pooled throughout her body as she felt Ardyn's bare chest to her back along its steady rise and fall.

“Cahl,” His voice, inhuman and low breathed out. “I can’t promise you won’t be left unscathed.”

She closed her eyes, swallowing the last of her concerns and smiled.

“That a fact?” She knew very well she was playing with fire, and didn’t care she was standing on top of it.

“Get. Back. Here.” Ardyn enunciated each word with a primal hunger behind his tone as he guided them both to the bed, shoving her face down to the mattress. His body didn’t waste time climbing on top of hers, chest to her back, pressing his full weight against her so she was trapped. Ardyn’s head lowered to Caelan's neck. He bit and suckled along her flesh. Her pleasured moans had him reward her with nuzzles and deeper bites while his hands caged hers to the bed. It wasn’t long before he was inside her, and ravaging her body. The control Caelan handed to him was unlike anything he experienced with another being. Ardyn couldn’t love her enough for this.

Once more, their concerns to fate and what lied ahead didn't matter. All that was encompassing was them, and them alone.

#immortal shield #ardyn lucis caelum #ardyn izunia #ardyn #original characters #ffxv #ffxv ardyn #final fantasy xv #fanfic #fanfiction #oc x canon #yeaahhh some after glow and spice before the big shit storm comes through #im not done with chapter 35 but fuck it #felt like posting #and fuck my fibromyalgia

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