#and minimise a lot for fear of making a big thing out of something small

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me

since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.

(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)

harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.

harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.

louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around

the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!

louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.

the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”

louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'

harry flirting with stanley tucci

louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!

all along

harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc

rainbow flare during the btm mv

harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes

28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!

kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing

harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?

harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)

louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling

harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."

louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour

harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket

louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel

harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)

louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival

harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."

continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here

harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel

louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar

harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)

harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23

the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals

harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally

as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.

louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it

oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too

harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped

that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????

harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up

louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks

harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex

harry dressed in skirts for gucci

"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"

"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"

satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt

louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????

harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits

harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol

and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.

#queer signalling #my posts #long post #anyways............. hmu if you have more bc i know there's more that i've forgotten but i didn't want to wait #but these were my personal highlights #this is for me more than anyone i know. i don't really know if anyone's really waiting on this #but i personally have been feeling like i gloss over a lot #and forget a lot #and minimise a lot for fear of making a big thing out of something small #but... then i make big things into something small. #which i hate #going through my archive just shows how fast an event passes by and i just stopped talking about it #ive complained about this many a time i know #anygays #for whoever wants to come scream with me <3 #also i have left out some events that were too easily deniable and i didn't want to clutter the post #since what's actual tangibly real and straight from them is so insane already #also that gif is how i feel rn. #how i often feel tbh #i want to be braver again

[gmdental]

7 Ways for Nervous Patients to Overcome Their Dental Anxiety

There are lots of jokes about how scary dentists are, and from a young age, we get these messages that dental examinations and treatments are something to fear. Of course, seeing a dentist regularly is essential for oral and general health; plus, we’ll help keep your smile looking great. 

But dental anxiety is a very real problem, and it’s something many people experience. Whether you’ve had a phobia since a young age or developed one following a bad experience, these fears are enough to prevent you from getting the care you need. 

We often see patients with severe dental problems who have been scared to visit for checkups or minor treatments. But we understand that it takes a lot to build the courage to visit us when you have a dental phobia. 

In this guide, we’ll share seven of the most effective ways to combat your dental anxiety and reclaim the health of your smile. 

1. Talk to Us About Your Fears

Dentists are human, and we understand the fears and emotions associated with something you’re uncomfortable with. We’ve also helped countless patients get the care they need. 

Of course, your anxiety may not be centred around the same thing as the next patient. For this reason, we don’t make assumptions or treat everyone the same way. 

If it’s been a while since your last appointment, talking to us about your fears is a great first step to overcoming them. If we know about any specific worries you may have, we can often help minimise your anxieties. 

We often discuss ways to communicate feelings of anxiety with us ahead of examinations or procedures. Knowing you have a way to let us know you need to take a break can stop you panicking. 

2. Use Positive Reinforcement

Gradual exposure to something you’re scared of can give you more confidence around it. By making small, controlled first steps, you can have positive experiences that help you gradually change your mindset. 

Even just visiting the practice to sit in our waiting room, meet the team, or see the clinic are steps that can help desensitise you.  

3. Come to See Us At Quiet Times

When you’re already feeling anxious, a busy waiting room can tip you into irritability or panic. Although we do everything to maintain a relaxed practice, talk to our team and book your first appointment with us at the quietest time of day. 

4. Bring a Friend

You don’t have to come alone. Bringing a friend, partner, or family member can often be a big help. Choose someone you know well and that understands you’re anxious. Ideally, pick someone supportive. 

5. Bring Distractions

If you feel anxious about something, it’s often all you can think about. The more you think about it, the worse you’ll feel. Distractions can help break the cycle of anxiety. Bring something you can listen to music with. Noise-cancelling headphones are useful as they really block out unwanted sounds. 

Some patients like to listen to music, audiobooks, or podcasts as it takes their minds away from what’s happening around them. 

6. Breathe Deep and Use Mindfulness

Anxiety is a product of our nervous systems. It’s the “fight or flight!” instinct that’s triggered when we perceive we’re in a dangerous situation. Your body gets a rush of adrenaline; your heart beats faster, and blood is diverted from your brain to your muscles. 

Taking several slow, deep breaths will help reset your nervous system. Slowing your breathing and heart rate gradually removes you from the panicked state. 

Practice deep breathing exercises ahead of your appointment and learn grounding techniques to shift your focus away from anxious worries.

7. Consider Getting Further Help

It can take time to overcome some phobias. While there’s lots you can do to manage your anxiety yourself, getting the right support can get to the root of the problem quicker. Speak to your GP or find a counsellor. With medication or therapy, you may find it easier to work through your fears. 

Caring Dentistry at GM Dental 

If you’re nervous about coming to see us for a checkup or treatment, we can help. Our caring and supportive team are here to make you feel more at ease. We understand how hard it can be, and we’ll take things at your pace. 

#gm dental #Dental Anxiety #Ashford & Rochester

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [three] // wanda maximoff

summary: Wanda's boyfriend continues to be an aggravation in your life, causing some distance between you and Wanda

warning/s: none

author's note: i really appreciate the feedback you guys gave in the last part – it’s always motivating to read your reactions/comments 🥰

part one | part two | part four | part five | masterlist | wattpad

Sorting things out with Wanda made everything return to normal in no time. So much in fact that she decided I was worth inviting to her and her brother's birthday party.

Never in a million years did I expect the most popular girl in our grade to know who I was, let alone invite me to her birthday party, so to say I was surprised was an understatement.

"It's not a big deal if you can't make it," she said when she handed me the invitation in class. "I mean, I'd love it if you could, but yeah, no pressure."

I was in awe, accepting the invite and reading it quickly. It must have been a pretty expensive party if she was giving out special invites, that's for sure.

"You want me to come?" I asked, still unsure whether this was a joke or not.

"Only if you want to," she said quickly, eyes darting around the room and anywhere but at me. "Like I said, you don't have to. It's not a big deal and– I– yeah." She pressed her lips together and stopped rambling, offering me a small smile.

"Thanks," I said quietly, slotting the invite in my notebook. "I'll, er, I'll think about it."

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and faced forward, nodding. "Yeah, sure, no rush."

After that awkward conversation, I discovered she'd also invited Y/BF/N, the two of them developing a little friendship the more she'd hung out with me. He didn't mind going, but only wanted to do so if I went.

"I feel like I kinda don't wanna go," I admitted to him after school as we were studying in the library.

"Oh?" He rose an eyebrow. "And why's that?"

I played with the pencil in my hand. "I don't know, it's just– it's gonna be full of all of her other friends. And they don't really like me. Plus, her dick of a boyfriend is gonna be there. I just think she might have invited me to be nice. Like she might have felt like she had to because we sit together, y'know?"

"I think you know that isn't true," he said knowingly. "Maybe, just maybe, she actually wants us there, wants you there, to celebrate her birthday."

I chewed the inside of my mouth, giving it some thought. But the idea of going to Wanda's house party and seeing a bunch of people I didn't care about getting pissed wasn't comforting. Besides, even if I went, I'd probably see Wanda once before she'd get scooped away by Nate. What was the point?

"Nah, I don't think I'm going," I decided. "She won't notice. I'll just get her a present instead."

Y/BF/N sighed, clearly not impressed with my answer. Nonetheless, he said, "Okay, suit yourself."

"You can go if you want," I added, knowing his presence wasn't linked with mine.

"No Y/N, no party," he said with a dismissive shrug, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Such a good friend," I said teasingly, but there was truth to my words. And I knew he knew that. 

When I saw photos and videos of Wanda and Pietro's party all over my social media the day after, I knew I'd made the right choice in not going. It was the same visuals of everyone getting drunk, doing stupid shit and making a mess. Call me a loser, but that wasn't really my scene. Pietro and Wanda both seemed to enjoy it though, judging from the pictures.

Instead, I bought her a birthday present, knowing I didn't have to but I kind of wanted to, and planned to give it to her when she turned up to class. It was her birthday today, despite throwing the party over the weekend, so I hoped it would make up for my absence (thought I doubted she noticed).

She showed up and settled beside me as I was writing the date in my notebook, making me look up to see she'd made an extra effort to dress up for her birthday, looking fancier than usual. I couldn't help but smile at the giant '18' birthday badge pinned to her jacket.

"Happy birthday, Wanda," was the first thing I said when I saw her. "You look amazing."

A bashful smile appeared on her lips. "Thank you, Y/N."

"I hope your party went well," I said, giving her my full attention whilst trying not to drool over how beautiful she looked.

Surprisingly, her smile faded and her eyebrows knitted together. "Yeah, it did... could you not make it? I tried looking for you and– yeah..."

I opened my mouth to speak, admittedly a little embarrassed that she'd caught me out. I was sure she wouldn't notice – the pictures made it seem like there were loads of guests, I'd definitely have blended in if I were there – but clearly I was mistaken.

"I just thought–" she began, before shaking her head. "Never mind."

"Sorry, I thought–" I started, but like her, didn't know what to say. "Parties aren't my thing," I admitted truthfully. "But it looked fun. You enjoyed it, right?"

She nodded, a small forced smile on her lips. "Yeah, right. It's cool. No biggie."

I swallowed awkwardly. It seemed like a biggie and now I felt bad.

"I, er, got you a gift," I blurted, hoping to change the subject. Reaching into my backpack, I pulled out the terribly wrapped present and held it out nervously. "I hope you, er, like it."

Her eyebrows raised as her eyes flickered between the present and I. "Oh? You didn't have to. I wasn't expecting anything."

Was it hot in here or was it just me?

I pulled my collar away from my neck, hoping to circulate some air. "I wanted to. It's not a big deal."

She accepted the gift, fingers brushing mine and making me even more nervous, before opening it up. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she revealed a brand new leather paintbrush carry case.

"The one you always carry around is tattered and falling apart, so I thought I'd get you a new one," I explained, feeling like I had to. "I mean, unless the other one has some sort of sentimental value, then in that case, I can just return this."

"Are you kidding? I love it!" she exclaimed, looking to me with a grin. "It's beautiful, Y/N. I don't even know what else to say."

My shoulders relaxed, a relieved smile tugging at my lips. "Good. Th-that's good. I'm glad you like it."

Without warning, she moved forward off her stool and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug. I was startled, unable to think straight with her body pressed so close to mine and her floral perfume wafting into my nose. Why did she have to smell so good?

"Thank you," she muttered, pulling away but not quite letting go. Her eyes were glowing as they watched me carefully, accompanying her weak-in-the-knees smile. I was sure I'd melt. "It means a lot."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak for fear I'd say something stupid. I resisted the urge to look down at her lips, which were pulled into a small, appreciative smile. She let go of me, looking to the case again and unravelling it. I caught my breath meanwhile, my senses still on override as her perfume lingered.

She was just so damn beautiful.

—

"Okay, how about this – robotic or organic aliens. Which would you rather invade our planet?" Y/BF/N asked.

I chuckled at his question. "Definitely haven't thought about that one, but let's see..."

We were hanging in the bleachers out near the football field as we waited for football practice to end. Y/BF/N had a Film project to do and needed to film the field, so I offered to help like the good friend I was.

"Probably organic," I answered as I balanced on the bleachers, standing up and tiptoeing down them like steps. "At least we could reason with them if they tried to kill us because they'd have a conscience. Robotic aliens would just be programmed to take over and that's it."

Y/BF/N seemed against the idea as he played with his camera. "Yeah, but if they were robotic, all we'd have to do is launch a missile at them and they'd explode. You can break metal. It's harder to break organic matter."

I stifled a laugh. "You've given this much thought, I see."

He gave me a knowing look. "You telling me you don't think aliens exist?"

I stopped tiptoeing and stood still as I looked down at him with humoured eyes. "You know I know aliens exist."

He waved his hand like that was enough reasoning. "There you go then!"

I laughed, wondering how he thought of this stuff, then continued to balance as I walked down the bleachers. Probably the wrong choice as when I heard a voice call me, I looked up, saw it was Wanda, then proceeded to miss a step and fall onto my arse.

"Oh God, Y/N, are you okay?" she asked, moving forward to help me.

My face heated up as Y/BF/N laughed his arse off beside me. I accepted Wanda's hand and let her pull me up, before letting go immediately when I could handle it myself. Her presence always made me nervous, but this was just terrible.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said, glancing at her and freezing at her piercing gaze and suppressed smile.

"You sure?" she asked, glancing at Y/BF/N, before trying to hide her own laughter.

Fuck me, why was I such a mess whenever she was around?

"Very sure," I said, though my back began to ache from where I hit it. "What's up, anyway?"

Y/BF/N finally shut up, to my relief, and Wanda minimised her laughter before scratching her head.

"I'm waiting for practice to end so I can take Pietro home," she said, nodding to the field. "I saw you both sat here and thought I'd say hi. Are you guys watching practice?"

"Not really," I answered, before tilting my head to Y/BF/N. "We're just waiting for it to end so Y/BF/N can film for his project."

"Ooh, that sounds interesting," she said, intrigued and looking to him now. "What's that about?"

As he caught her up on it, I found myself checking Wanda out without realising. She was animated as she listened to Y/BF/N talk about his assignment, eyes giving him all of her attention, and a permanent smile was fixed on her lips as she listened to him. Though it wasn't directed at me, I felt butterflies swirling a storm in my stomach and clutched it, hoping they'd go away. I loved and hated the feeling all at once.

Breaking me from my reverie, a football flew past all three of us and hit the bleachers, startling us all. We looked in the direction it came from and saw the football team looking back at us, some laughing and some disgruntled. Two players ran towards us and when they got close enough, I made them out as Pietro and Nate.

Nate was laughing as he looked between us all, before his gaze fell on me. "It's Y/N, right? I feel like I'm always throwing that thing at you. Sorry about that."

But his constant laughing and lack of guilt refuted his words. I merely clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes his way, not that he seemed to care nor notice. I was a mere fly in a world that revolved around him. He'd never notice.

"Babe, I'm sorry, I didn't even know you were over here," he added, looking to Wanda. "You okay?"

Wanda crossed her arms and seemed frustrated. "I'm fine, Nate. Just get your ball."

He shrugged and grabbed his ball. Before leaving, he pressed a kiss to Wanda's cheek which made me wince, but she made no attempt in enjoying it. He didn't seem to care as he took off running back to his team. Pietro smiled apologetically at the three of us.

"I'm sorry," he said genuinely. "He can be such a dick sometimes."

That was the understatement of the century.

With that, he turned and ran back to his team to finish up. Wanda sighed, running a hand through her hair, as Y/BF/N and I exchanged glances.

"I should get the car running," she said awkwardly, pointing a thumb over her shoulder and towards the car park. "Good luck with your assignment, Y/BF/N. And I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N."

Waving goodbye with an awkward smile, I watched her leave and wondered the same thing I always did whenever Nate decided to make an appearance in my life.

How could she be dating such a dick?

—

Apart from the birthday party I didn't go to, I'd never been invited (or had a reason to go) to Wanda's house. I'd seen it, rode my bike past it, but never actually been in it. So, when she invited me to her place to work on a project we'd been assigned in class, I was unsure how to feel. She was adamant though and I had no reason to say no, so the only thing left to do was say yes. Even when she offered to drive me there after school.

"This is your car?" I asked with disbelief.

I knew absolutely nothing about cars, but I wasn't blind. Hers was a gorgeous deep red colour with a convertible roof that was currently lowered so anyone in it would feel the sun on their back and wind in their hair.

"Yeah, you like it?" she asked as she got into the driver's seat.

I gulped and sat in the passenger's seat, throwing my backpack at my feet. "It's so nice. You sure you don't mind me drinking in this?"

I had a Pepsi bottle in my hand and was deathly afraid of opening it now in case I spilt it and the cleaning bill would be more than I made in a year at the pizza parlour.

She laughed, already pulling out of the car park. "Of course. Don't be silly."

I glanced in her direction, trying not to get distracted by how good she looked in the driver's seat. She was wearing a red leather jacket, funnily enough, matching the exterior of her car, and she had dark eyeliner around her eyes, accentuating the shape and colour of them and leaving me speechless whenever she looked my way.

"There's CDs in the glove compartment," she was saying as she focused on the road. "Or you can mess around with the radio. It's up to you."

"CDs?" I asked, it piquing my interest. I reached into the glove compartment, adding, "What is this, the 2000s?"

She rolled her eyes playfully, accepting my teasing, as I flicked through the small stack of albums.

"I don't know, I guess I just like having the physical version," she said with a shrug. "It's kind of like a collection."

I chuckled at her need to explain herself, watching the way she rubbed her neck nervously, smiling with embarrassment. Looking back to the albums, a particular one grabbed my attention and I plucked it out with raised brows.

"Oh my God, you like Paramore?" I asked, looking to her with surprise. "Now it's definitely the 2000s."

Her cheeks flushed as she grew flustered. I nudged her in the side gently, getting her attention briefly.

"I'm kidding," I reassured, tilting my head her way playfully. "I actually love Paramore. They're my favourite band."

"Really?" she asked with surprise as I put the CD in her car. I hummed in response, to which she continued, "Have you ever seen them live?"

As For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic played quietly in the background, I nodded my head. "Yeah, once. It was a few years ago, but the tickets were shitty and I could just about make them out on stage in the distance."

Wanda laughed, the sound making my heart skip a beat. "No, that's so sad!"

I chuckled in agreement. "Yeah. It was, but oh well. They have a tour coming up this summer, right? Maybe I can get better tickets this time 'round... what about you? Have you ever seen them live?"

She hummed, making a turn at some traffic lights and chewing her lower lip as she focused on doing so. It was definitely the wrong time, but I found myself admiring how attractive it was, especially when her jaw tensed and her defined jawline was on display.

"Yeah, I saw them a few times," she finally responded, pulling me from my stupor. "Some really good seats, some really shitty ones." She giggled at the end, making me smile. "Maybe we could go to that concert in the summer. If you're up for it?"

This seemed like one of those times where you made plans with a friend that you knew would never happen, so to not cause an awkwardness in the conversation, I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, maybe."

She glanced at me and I mirrored her smile, the flash of excitement in her eyes knocking me breathless.

When we reached her house, I was awestruck at how big it was from the inside. I mean, it looked huge from the outside, but the inside was even better. Her family were rich, I knew that, but this was some other level of rich.

"Here, c'mon, I'll get you a drink, then we can go into the dining room to start," Wanda said, failing to recognise my amazement and instead leading me to the kitchen. "We have tropical juice, apple juice, water, Sprite, Cola... which d'you want?"

I settled at the island, taking a seat and subtly admiring her kitchen. "Er, apple juice is fine with me."

She smiled brightly before pouring me a glass, whilst pouring herself some Sprite. Standing opposite me, we both took a moment to have a drink, but didn't get chance to exchange words as her mum entered the room and noticed me instantly.

"Y/N, it's so lovely to see you again!" she said kindly, patting me on the shoulder before heading to the fridge. "You girls hanging out? Studying?"

"We have a project," Wanda filled in as I nodded in agreement. "We alright to claim the dining room?"

After grabbing some water from the fridge, Wanda's mum pressed a kiss to her daughter's cheek. "Sure thing, sweetie. If you need anything, just let me know." Smiling once more at me, she said, "It's good to see you, Y/N."

"You too," I said with a friendly smile before she left.

"Come on," Wanda said, motioning for me to follow. "We have tons to do."

The next hour and a half was spent with Wanda and I planning out our project, our work sprawled along the dining table messily. We were making progress, until she got a call suddenly. It seemed serious as she gave me an apologetic glance and excused herself. I let her go and leaned back in my seat, wondering what I could do as I waited for her to return. That thought was resolved quite quickly when Pietro popped his head in the doorway and spotted me.

"Y/N! What an honour to welcome you to our humble abode," he exclaimed, entering the room fully. "What brings you here?"

Pietro's presence always brought an amused smile to my lips. "Wanda and I are working on a Chemistry project. She's just nipped out for a phone call."

He tutted dramatically, crossing his arms. "Well, well, well. We can't have that! Wanda needs to learn to entertain her guests. C'mon. I was about to head to the gaming room and could use the company."

I was visibly surprised. "You have a gaming room? Dude, that's awesome!"

He laughed. "C'mon."

Joining Pietro, the two of us headed to this so-called gaming room and I was not disappointed. There was a huge TV with a PlayStation and Nintendo Switch connected to it, a snooker table, a foosball table, a dart board, some old arcade games – it was amazing, any gamer's biggest dream.

"What you feeling, princess?" he said with that flirtatious smile of his.

I rolled my eyes playfully. He was being overtly flirty, more so than his sister was – was it a Maximoff personality trait or something? – and I wasn't sure whether he meant it or was just being his usual self.

"Are you flirting?" I deadpanned, tilting my head curiously. "I can't tell."

He pocketed his hands, swinging back on the heels of his feet. "That depends. Is it working?"

Despite my lack of interest in him like that, I felt my face heat up at the attention. "Pietro, I must tell you that any moves you attempt to make kind of won't work."

"And why's that?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the snooker table with a cheeky smile on his lips. "Am I not your type?"

"Unless you change into a girl, then no," I played along, making him flush with embarrassment. "Hate to break it to you, but I'm gay."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense," he mumbled to himself, before sighing and meeting my eyes. "We can still be friends, right? Or is that forbidden since you're already friends with my sister?"

I laughed and approached him. "Friends works. I don't think Wanda will care. I certainly don't."

He grinned. "Awesome! Well, d'you wanna play a round of foosball?"

"Sure," I said with an amused expression. "Bet I can kick your arse."

He pushed himself off the table and feigned surprise. "Oh? Game on, Y/L/N."

I didn't realise how long Wanda had been on the phone until I managed to get through three rounds of foosball and was in the middle of a snooker game with Pietro.

"You may have beat me at foosball, but you're terrible at this," he pointed out with stifled laughter.

I'd missed my third shot and it was more funny than it was embarrassing.

"Your talking distracts me," I said dismissively, before lining up the next shot with my cue.

He watched as I tried to take my shot before sighing loudly. I glanced at him with a quirked brow.

"You have a thought you'd like to share?" I asked playfully.

He hesitated, moving forward to correct my posture. "Look, if you just aim it like this–"

"Don't even think about it, Romeo," I said jokingly, standing up straight and pushing him away gently. "I know what you're thinking."

He laughed. "What? I was just going to help you aim!"

I gave him a knowing look. "So holding me close is just a bonus?"

"Fine, take your shot without my help and see what happens," he said dismissively, waving his hand.

"I'll do just that," I said with confidence, before bending down and taking my shot. The ball hit the other and neither were pocketed, which was an achievement as I'd got the cue ball in several times before, but still pretty shit as I didn't score any points.

Pietro smiled with satisfaction, leaning on his cue. "You happy with that?"

I held in a laugh as I looked to him. "Shut up."

He chuckled before bumping me out the way. "Now for the professional."

Bending down to take his shot, he pulled back his cue before hitting the balls. They rolled around on the table and one ball was about to go in, but I quickly grabbed it before he could get the point.

"Y/N!" he shouted between laughter. "That's cheating!"

"Technically we didn't establish rules," I pointed out, before moving backwards as he tried to grab it from my hand. "What do you say to calling it a draw and playing something else?"

"I say that's a childish way to admit you've lost," he responded, before moving forward quickly. I dodged his attempt and he pursed his lips. "Y/N."

"Pietro."

He smirked. "Seriously?"

I grinned.

He tried to grab it again and ended up chasing me around the room as I avoided giving in. Taking the piss out of Y/BF/N enough times had prepared me for moments like this, so I was able to avoid Pietro long enough to run into whoever walked through the door.

"Shit, Wanda, I'm sorry," I said between laughter, steadying both me and her.

She smiled with confusion, about to speak, but Pietro caught up to me and lifted me up, throwing me onto the couch before I could protest.

"No more cheating," he said sternly, as I lifted my head from the pile of cushions on the couch to look up at him.

"You're an arse," I said, pushing myself up off the couch.

"And you're a sore loser!"

We had a mini staring competition before the two of erupted into laughter.

"You're not half bad, Pietro," I complimented as he helped me up.

"Thank you, princess," he said, the flirtatious smile on his lips again.

I shoved him in the shoulder playfully before looking to Wanda, who was chewing on her lip as she looked between Pietro and I with an unreadable expression.

"So, what prompted you to leave Y/N alone for an hour?" Pietro asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, making me shove him away. He grinned at me before looking to Wanda.

"Nate called," Wanda responded carefully, arms crossed as she continued to look between us. God, I hoped she didn't think Pietro and I liked each other. That would be embarrassing.

Pietro scoffed from beside me, making Wanda sigh with annoyance.

"Don't start, Piet," she said and gave him a look which he seemed to understand.

By the sounds of it, Pietro didn't seem to like Wanda's dick of a boyfriend either. That was strange since wasn't impressing the brother the first part of being in a relationship with someone? And they were on the same football team, so I figured he'd at least tolerate him.

"Are we alright to get back to studying?" Wanda asked, directing her stare to me. The annoyance she held for Pietro was still present in her eyes and I suddenly felt nervous when she looked my way.

"Yeah, of course," I said, before giving Pietro a half-smile. "Rematch at snooker next time. Sound good?"

"Try to keep the balls on the table and we'll see," he teased, before nodding to Wanda. "You should get back to your project before Wanda kills us both with her deadly glare."

I smiled awkwardly, looking back to Wanda as she was indeed glaring at her brother. Clearly there was some sibling rivalry going on here, and I definitely didn't want to get in the middle of it, so I headed to Wanda, signalling I was ready to leave.

The two of us headed back to the dining room in an uncomfortable silence. I felt like I'd done something wrong and she was giving me the silent treatment which was strange. Then I figured it was probably something with Nate that made her annoyed, so didn't question it too much.

We sat back down and I looked at what we'd done so far to try and pick up where we left off, but then she spoke out of the blue, taking me by surprise.

"Do you like my brother?"

It was so abrupt that I took a moment to acknowledge it, blinking. "What?"

"Pietro," she clarified, saying it with such dismissiveness like it wasn't a big deal. Her attention was on the books before us as she continued, "Do you like him?"

I tried not to laugh as I shook my head. "No, Wanda. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. But yeah, no, I don't like him like that."

She chewed her lip, nodding, but I swear I saw a hint of a smile on her lips. I hoped it wasn't the thought of Pietro and I that made her annoyed. I wasn't that bad, was I? I know she cared about her brother and was probably overprotective, but me being his girlfriend couldn't have been that bad, right?

We got back to work in no time, getting a lot done. I didn't realise how late it was getting until Wanda's mum poked her head in, asking if I wanted to stay for dinner.

"Dinner?" I asked, eyebrows raising with surprise. I checked my watch and realised how long I'd been here. "Damn, maybe I should head back."

"Nonsense, you must stay," her mum insisted. "Y/M/N won't mind. A daughter of hers is a daughter of mine."

"You can even sleepover if you want," Wanda offered, and I almost choked on my own spit. "It's getting pretty late."

I shook my head, forcing a small smile so they wouldn't get offended. "Honestly, it's fine. I can head back."

"Please?" Wanda asked with a hopeful expression. "It's the least I can do. I kinda wasted your time for an hour earlier..."

"I should ask my mum," I said, chewing on the inside of my mouth.

"Oh, I'll ring and let her know," Wanda's mum said breezily, before looking to Wanda. "D'you think you can clear your things up? Your brother is gonna set the table."

"Sure, mum." Wanda smiled her way as she left, before looking to me. "I've got clothes and a spare toothbrush you can use tonight."

I smiled awkwardly, nodding. Sleeping over at my crush's house wasn't how I thought I'd be spending my Wednesday evening, yet here we were.

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen #marvel imagine #mcu imagine #marvel #mcu

[animeomegas]

Hi!!!, first, congratulations on 1000 followers!I wanted to ask you something, could you make a list of omegas that would have worse self esteem during pregnancy.if you can't don't worry, have a nice day and again congratulations.

(Hey, thank you so much for your congratulations!! Hmm, I’m sure I can make a little list~)

Warnings: Insecurities of all sorts, mentions of sex.

Insecure over appearance:

· Itachi – Itachi is worried about how skinny and sickly he is. He’s always been on the small side but pregnancy has stopped him being able to keep much food down, and so he just kept getting smaller and smaller. It’s a small insecurity at first, but he does find himself staring at his reflection and wondering if his mate finds him attractive. Itachi goes a long while without sex because of how sick he gets during pregnancy and after birth, and that feeds the insecurity that his alpha doesn’t find him attractive.

· Tamaki – He’s completely fine until he gets lost in a rabbit hole on some parenting and omega focused forums. He finds all these posts from other omegas about how their alphas don’t find them attractive anymore, and about how they’ve stopped having sex. Now, Tamaki is extremely sexually needy during his pregnancy, so he’s suddenly paralysed with fear. Has his alpha been forcing themselves this whole time? Have they just been doing it to please him without enjoying it themselves? He cries about it quite a bit until his alpha finds out and knocks a little bit of sense into him.

· Asmo – Asmo puts so much effort into his physical appearance. He’s very proud of it and he’s very reliant on his appearance to carry his self-esteem. So, a drastic change of any sort would be extremely distressing. He buys every cream and treatment imaginable to stop stretch marks, and acne etc. but things still change with his body. And because Asmo views his worth through looks, he assumes that his alpha does also. He tries to hide, to turn down sex, but of course, this alerts his alpha immediately to the fact that something is wrong. He never really gets over the insecurities while he’s still pregnant, but his alpha can minimise the effects with copious love and praise.

· Julian – He’s extremely insecure as it is, constantly questioning why his alpha finds him attractive at all but being pregnant adds enough layer on to the pre-existing insecurities. He always tries to reassure his alpha that they don’t have to touch him if they don’t want, that they should leave the room before he gets changed or when he’s bathing because they probably don’t want to see him like that. His insecurities run very deeply, just like Asmo’s, so they can’t be fixed, but they can be helped with lots of comfort and reassurance.

Insecure over abilities (e.g., being weak physically etc.):

· Sasuke – The fact that he can’t go on missions or train pisses him off. And as the months go by, he’s gaining weight and losing muscle definition and it freaks him out because he feels like he’s losing who he is which drops his self-esteem. Training has been a part of his life for as long as he can remember. Just design some softer workout routines for him with a mednin and remind him that he can still practice throwing kunai before he loses his goddamn mind.

· Bakugou – The physical condition of his body changing isn’t that big of a deal for him. He has a very small tummy, especially considering he’s pregnant with twins, and he knows he can bounce back after the birth because he’s super dedicated to his physical routine. What he’s not so confident about is the slipping control he has over his quirk. He has (had) an iron clad control, and the random explosions while pregnant are so embarrassing. Not to mention the disruption that his quirk causes in his nest. He has to replace so many cushions which makes his instincts go wild because significant changes to an omega’s nest while pregnant is distressing. If his friends tease him about the loss of control, he gets genuinely mad about because it’s something of a sore spot.

· Jumin – Jumin tries to keep his life while pregnant as close to his life before being pregnant as possible and in many ways, he nails it. He buys copies of his favourite suits and has them tailored every other week to fit his growing stomach. He buys non-alcoholic wine and drinks it with a grimace. He schedules lots of massages to keep the aches and pains away, so he feels normal. But there is one thing that isn’t so easy to keep normal: his emotions. Now, this fits into this category rather than the one below because Jumin gets insecure about how his emotional control impacts his ability to work. His emotions had never impacted his career before, but now he can’t help but tear up when he gets overstressed, he can’t work long hours without getting lonely and wanting to go home, he can’t take business trips because he doesn’t want to leave his nest for too long. It makes him feel a little like he’s lost himself because these things are things he’s been doing with ease for his entire life. He’s quite irritated by it and it damages his self esteem somewhat.

Insecure emotionally (e.g., unsure about being a good parent etc.):

· Tamaki –Tamaki also makes it onto this category. His insecurities are very specific, but he worries about being a bad role model socially for his pup. If his alpha is very socially adept, I’m not sure he would worry as much, because he knows that his pup can learn from their other parent, but if Tamaki’s alpha is also a little shy or prefers not being around people, then he gets really worried about it. Him being so shy and anxious has really impacted his life and he really doesn’t want it to impact his pup in the same way. He really worries that he’ll be a bad influence in that regard. (but the prospect of an extremely extroverted child is an equally terrifying concept in a different way haha.)

· Lucifer – He is very worried about being a good parent because all he can focus on is the past times when he wasn’t a good older brother. I mean, Satan hates him, and that’s as close to a father/child bond that Lucifer has, so surely that must mean he’s not cut out to be a father? He’s not good at emotions or reasonable punishments or showing affection or… well, point is he doesn’t think he has what it takes to be a good parent, when all he’s ever had is a shitty father himself, and all he’s ever been, is a shitty older brother that drove his family apart.

· Levi – Levi is insecure about most things that have to do with himself, so it’s not surprising that he gets very insecure about being a good parent which drops his self-esteem to an all time low. He can’t even watch any anime that focuses too much on parent/child relationships because he can’t help but compare himself every time, and he works himself up into a mini panic. It’s difficult to calm Levi’s insecurities but his partner can help him somewhat.

· Hawks – Keigo is very insecure about his abilities to protect his pup. His has this conspiracy theory that the hero commission will try to kidnap his child. They were furious when they found out he was pregnant during the peak of his career and they pushed him heavily towards abortion. Keigo leaked the pregnancy news to the public to force the commission’s hands, but he’s still so paranoid that they’ll stage a 'tragic accident' for his pup to force him back into hero work, or try and kidnap and raise his pup as they raised him. He doesn’t have any proof, per se, but he’s terrified that he can’t protect his pup so he really doesn’t like to leave his alpha’s presence. When he’s close to his due date, he’s too insecure with all his conspiracy theories clouding his mind to even let his alpha shower by themselves.

· V – Jihyun sort of convinces himself that he’s cursed when it comes to looking after people (Rika, Saeyoung, Saeran), so he’s very upset by the prospect that he’ll probably fail at raising his child too. He originally says that he wants to give the pup up for adoption to save them, but eventually you talk him around and start working through his problems. He just doesn’t thing he’ll be a good role model. The longer he waits to have children after the more traumatic events of his life, the less these issues crop up.

Miscellaneous:

· Aizawa – Shouta gets insecure when people pay too much attention to him being pregnant. He doesn’t like people giving up their seats for him on public transport, he doesn’t like his students and colleagues asking invasive questions, he doesn’t like those awful shop attendants that try to shoehorn him into buying baby supplies he doesn’t need. He wishes people would just treat him normally. (and he absolutely starts to activate his quirk every time someone tries to touch his tummy without asking first.) But yeah, all the eyes and attention makes him super uncomfortable and it makes him overanalyse everything he does which does impact his self esteem.

· Light – Light has a very specific insecurities while pregnant which revolve around the fear that he’s lowering himself by carrying a pup. All his life he’s had people tell him that because he’s an omega, he should give up on all his dreams and have pups and stay home instead. It really doesn’t sit well with him that he’s doing what all those awful people told him to do (at least it feels that way to him). He feels ashamed and he hates it. He avoids everything stereotypical while pregnant. He’ll kick you in the face if you try to rub his feet, he does everything in his power to avoid giving in to cravings, and he doesn’t make a nest. It all takes a serious toll on his health but it would take one hell of a stubborn alpha to get him to bend on any of that. It puts a strain on the relationship.

#a/b/o #omegaverse #reader insert #naruto #bnha #death note #mha #mystic messenger #obey me #omega!light #light #omega!aizawa #aizawa #omega!v #v #jihyun #hawks #tamaki #lucifer #levi #omega!hawks #keigo #omega!tamaki #omega!lucifer #omega!levi #bakugou #sasuke #jumin #omega!jumin #omega!bakugou

[twstheadcanons]

Any hcs for pomefiore, like how its students interact socially. Or hcs on the etiquette lessons?

this is long

·         I stand by what I said about Savanaclaw – Night Raven College has a bunch of stupid high school boys in its student body.  Being in Pomefiore does not erase your dumb high school energy.  It is just redirected.  As the oldest dorm, Pomefiore has some antiquated decour, and its own pride in maintaining them, including its gratuitous amount of candles strewn about.  Are the candlelit flames real?  Yes.  Can students touch them and light them themselves? Absolutely not.  They’re enchanted to light up and extinguish on their own. Vil’s seen firsthand how hotheaded and confrontational Pomefiore students can be.  He finds enchanted candles reasonable.  

·         There’s a garden in the back of the dorm building.  As the dorm known for its prowess in poisons and potions, it’s important for Pomefiore students to be able to identify specific types of flora commonly used in formulas, alongside their potential benefits and dangers.

·         Gardening can be grueling, especially when dealing with tricky, difficult flora. Vil has extensive instructions under his belt when it comes to making sure all students do their part (there is no avoiding gardening duty).  As such, alongside gardening itself, he’s put a lot of time and effort researching and specialising methods to minimise/mitigate the amount of mess and physical involved – and that’s without cutting corners.  Every new year brings in new students with their own personal strengths, so he has to make sure no stone goes unturned.

·         That said, absolutely no one shares gardening gloves.  Crowley is crying at the expenses of just damn gardening gloves but Vil is Not going to budge.

·         Of course, the apple trees are ones Pomefiore plants as well.  It’s their signature after all.  Rook hawk eyes both the trees’ growth and makes sure no one’s snagging them beforehand.  Ever since Epel enrolled, he’s lowkey more instructive of the process whenever Vil’s not around.  He’s also got his own shortcuts and tricks for general gardening.  Having a more hands-on approach since birth, it comes naturally to him.

·         Like, no offence, but the Pomefiore apples are not as good as the ones the Felmiers grow.

·         Epel is constantly on the verge of going apeshit when something he KNOWS he’s good at and knows his shit about is getting nitpicked, so for Vil’s safety I am making the executive decision that Vil’s noticed Epel sometimes taking charge in helping other students and just lets Epel do his own thing when it comes to helping out with Pomefiore’s plants and apples.

·         Honestly, having the two different approaches work in Pomefiore’s favour.  Some students need/want more structure and guidance, making Vil a better option.  Others benefit from Epel’s self-assured, informal approach since it makes it seem less daunting for beginners.

·         Rook likes to indulge himself when it comes to apples.  By that I mean he likes to ‘help’ students ‘slice’ their apples by doing the classic arrow-through-the-apple thing.  A lot of students think it’s actually pretty awesome.  

·         Right up until Rook asks for a volunteer to have the apple on their head.

·         The science club actually has its fair share of Pomefiore students apart from Rook.  Some are simply following the example of a generally respected vice-leader, whilst other took it for their own interests.

·         The same goes for film appreciation.   While small and mostly Pomefiore students under Vil’s lead, it’s a close circle of students working together.

·         The ballroom, like gardening, requires its own care and maintenance.  Keeping floors, windows, and mirrors clean.  This actually goes for the entire dorm, but the ballroom hosts a lot of Pomefiore’s recreational and group events (makes for a good place for film appreciation rehearsals).

·         Another reason it’s important to keep the dorm itself clean overall: absolutely no one wants perfume and cologne just lingering in furniture.  That is not the life anyone wants.  Ever.

·         This is something Rook’s especially quick to get on others’ cases about (in his own Rook Hunt way that is).  He’s a hunter, so he doesn’t want to risk even the most wonderful of scents blowing his cover.

·         Speaking of Rook, if you’re familiar with French in Pomefiore, but don’t use it often.  You Do Now for the sake of your fellow dormmates that want to know what the hell Rook is saying.

·         Students in Pomefiore tend to grow up into more hands-on careers.  Of course, there’s the ones in professions like show business, fashion, and cosmetology, but other common careers they gravitate to are generally science or fine arts related.

·         If you know what’s good for you, and you’re interested in fashion, start learning about the ethical issues and dangers of fast fashion ASAP.  As someone surrounded by aesthetics and designs, Vil knows his shit and idealistic views that overlook the shady business practises of even big-name groups get under his skin fast.  In general, as passionate as he is in his line of work, Vil’s still disillusioned to the glitz and glamour of it, which is why he takes such an aggressive stance on his own management.

·         Since first years share four students in one dorm room, Epel’s roommates will never escape the apple smell.  It’s gone from charming, to a bit sickening, to being plain desentisised to the scent. While all three are kind of over having an apple or apple juice every time Epel’s family sends them, they’ll happily accept them from time to time.  The apple juice especially is popular since it makes for a refreshing change from water.

·         Makeup brand debates.  They’re a thing.  Vil mostly thinks they’re dumb on a surface level since people just gravitate to what works for them and is within their budget but if you ask he’s got dirt on which brands have the worst practises that don’t need Anyone’s money.

·         Considering his ‘villain’ typecasting the guy has no fear using his platform to be outspoken on those types of issues which is why a lot of Pomefiore students end up actually respecting him outside his acting and modeling career.

·         For the record, it’s not like Epel’s the only student from a rural background in Pomefiore. There are plenty of others, it’s just that they didn’t literally get into a fight with a dorm leader during the opening ceremony.

·         The way he acts with Epel early on, however, does leave a rather unflattering impression on said rural students.  Epel doesn’t really keep his background a secret, so it’s easy to hear Vil scold Epel’s informal, direct way of speaking as him disliking the actual accents a country person may have.  So like. Vil’s gotta work on clearing that up with them, lol.

·         This is a “Vil’s done a good number of things wrong” zone regardless of his background and actual intent and also a “Pomefiore isn’t only about beauty but considering the way its students act and speak in general Uhhhhh” so as focused as Vil is on image and Pomefiore on seeming ‘proper’ I am Forcing him to reevaluate his approach to educating less experienced students on westernised and Eurocentric etiquette expectations.   You’re going to have students with staunchly different mannerisms and ideas of etiquette that do not affect their work ethic whatsoever sweetie.  

·         In a similar vein, older Pomefiore students that happen to be beastfolk (I’d like to imagine the Mirror of Darkness doesn’t magically toss Savanaclaw into some unholy ‘this is the beastfolk ghetto’ hell.  Do not burst my bubble I won’t listen) usually end up being tightknit with first years.  Honestly how else are first-years going to survive Rook Hunt being their vice-leader.

Vil also takes his own measures to minimise how up in their business Rook gets with Pomefiore’s own beastfolk.  

Being a detail-oriented dorm, Pomefiore has the most amount of students experienced in hands-on work and crafts.  If the individual students get along, Savanaclaw and Pomefiore students can get a lot done when they put their minds to it.

“Absolutely Beautiful” blasting from the ballroom at 5am so the less morning-inclined can wake up properly for the next three weeks.

·         Look Vil and Rook have particularly polarising personalities you cannot expect the entire dorm to worship them nor their way of doing things.

·         Master Chef, although a small elective, also has its fair share of Pomefiore students.  Something about a practical skills class appeals to them, and it actually makes for relaxing classwork.  

·         First dorm that sorts out people’s allergies.  If you think it’s excessive Pomefiore has forms prepared for new students to fill out regarding any extenuating circumstances and conditions think again. No health accidents happening in this dorm.

·         Mentions of students struggling tend to result in other students helping each other out. Study groups are pretty encouraged within the dorm if it works out for the people involved.  The lounge aside, the ballroom’s surprisingly popular for study groups when it’s not in-use for anything else.

#pomefiore #twisted wonderland #Anonymous

[falling-fineline]

Native of mine you’re just my kind

(A Cake one shot)

Title and lyrics from “Lonely Hearts” by 5SOS and some inspiration from Ashton’s breakdown of CALM that he did for #1yearofCALM.

Summary: Distance makes the heart grow fonder, or so they say. What they don’t tell you is that it also exhaustingly lonely.

Warnings: smut and fluff! You’ve been warned!

can also be found on ao3!

Our house on fire

We’re burning

We dance inside

You’re hurting

If you leave me in the morning

I’ll have such a

Such a lonely heart

“I’m only gone for a week to see the family, Luke. Not moving back there forever. Plus, it’s my fourth day here so there’s technically four more days until you see me again. There’s no need to bring out that pout of yours, pet.” Calum rolls his brown eyes but smiles fondly at how childish his boyfriend is being right now.

Luke pouts for a second longer at the screen, then a small grin breaks the pout.

The blond loved these facetimes they have. There were no verbal promises but they’ve been facetiming at least twice a day, sometimes more. Mostly about silly things, most calls that don’t last more than 5 minutes. But these little nuggets of seeing calum’s really are the sole thing that’s Luke got looking forward to every day since Calum’s been gone. Luke won’t admit it to himself, and he thinks that Calum has caught on but just doesn’t say anything about it, but most of the calls are from Luke, and it’s whenever he gets a spike of ice cold fear that he calls Calum. An irrational fear, he knows, that calum’s going to stay in Aus, and not come back, essentially breaking up with him.

Aside from walking Petunia around the block every morning and night, Luke hasn’t doesn’t anything else other than lying around in bed, waiting for Calum to call him.

A pretty sad sounding existence, he knows. But ever since Calum left to visit his family in Australia a few days ago, luke’s been spiraling. He had sensed the his mental fragility settling in when he said goodbye to Calum at the airport and his mood has had a downward trajectory ever since. Luke went from quarantining with Calum ever since they came back from tour, seeing Calum every day, to suddenly not seeing him. This has thrown his head into a pitiful sad loop.

“Luke, you still with me, love? I know it’s late over there in LA but you called me.” A light chuckle rang out from Luke’s phone, in his hands as he laid on his side in bed.

“I just… couldn’t sleep. Wanted to see your stupid face again.”

Luke actually hadn’t slept for more than 2-3 hours every night ever since Calum left. This morning, Luke woke up, head in a hazy state, and just sat out on their balcony, staring at absolutely nothing. Begging to feel the sun that’s shining on him, the warm hug she would have beared for him. Anything but this dark pit that regenerated out of thin air, in his chest, that seeped into his bones during the night Calum left and he hasn’t felt a thing in days.

Calum sees through Luke right away. It’s as if their souls were grown in the same origin, or something. Calum’s the only one that takes one look at luke and instantly reads him like an open book. Eager to read every word, every sentence, meticulous in not missing any clues along the way.

“Luke, you can be honest with me. This is your 5th call ever since I woke up and I’ve only been for 6 hours. I’m not saying to call me less, but today’s been a lot, huh? How have you been feeling?” calum’s concerned brown orbs search Luke’s through the screen, trying to see any minute change in the blond’s features that would give him away.

Luke closes his eyes for a moment, thinking of a suitable answer. He readjusts on the bed so he’s sitting up against the headboard. The younger lad had been so caught up in his head, wallowing in his sadness, he hadn’t really checked in with how he was feeling. Luke’s speak is thoughtful when he speaks.

“ive been feeling… lonely. Nothing new to me, nothing new to you.” A dry chuckle leaves the blond’s mouth and he see’s his boyfriend readjust in his own bed, mimicking Luke’s position. Calum’s eyes are filled with concern for the blond, a frown on his lips.

“now what have we talked about using humour to minimise how you’re feeling? Remember, for me to understand how you’re feeling, you gotta be honest with me, especially with how you feel.”

“I just hope that you’re missing me half as much as I’m missing you right now, cal.” Tears begin to form in the blond’s eyes, making his vision of Calum a misty one. But he continues on with how he truly feels. “Like, my heart hurts whenever you’re not here with me. I’ve got such a lonely heart without you here, cal.” A choked sob escapes out of the younger lad’s lips. He’s quick to wipe his tears with his hoodie sleeve before he looks like a right mess in front of his boyfriend.

“Oh, pet. Don’t cry. If anything, I do miss you, so, so, much. My chest can barely hold myself together. Every song reminds me of you and I’ve been listening to my music nonstop without you here with me. Mali keeps making fun of me cuz I’m glued to my phone, chatting with you all day long.” A wet grin appears on Luke’s lips then, reveling in the feeling of being missed. Of being thought about. Of feeling wanted.

Interest grows in Luke’s as he watches Calum innocently lick his lips. A low groan comes out of Luke’s mouth as he sinks into the bedframe, sinking deeper into his beige hoodie, his hood flipping flat on his blond locks.

“oh, I know those eyes whenever I see them. You in the mood right now, Hemmings?” Luke blushes even when he sees Calum strip out of his black calm sweatshirt through his screen, revealing a number of scattered tattoos all over his abdomen and arms. Luke drools at the thought of what comes next.

Luke begins to play with his growing bulge that’s beginning to come alive in his briefs, causing the camera to shake a bit. Calum noticed the movement and smirks.

“Are you touching yourself right now, babe? Is me being shirtless causing you to become hot and bothered, my boy?” just to seemingly directly add to Luke’s erection and to the mental wanking log he has of visuals of Calum, Calum flexes his tattooed arm for the camera, muscles seemingly bulging out of his skin.

Luke moans in luau of responding, one hand starts the task of getting his dick out of his briefs and one hand holding the phone steady. He moves his camera back a bit, revealing his angry red cock that glistens at the tip with precome. Calum’s whistles lowly at seeing his boyfriend’s big cock.

Luke overtly stares at calum’s tattooed arm. The way the 5 o’clock shadows are casted on his muscles, clinging to every curve and jutted out vein. The blond fantasizes that it’s calum’s hand that’s jerking himself off right now, arm pumping up and down, muscles working overtime to get Luke to his climax.

Luke’s eyes become hooded eyelashes fluttering as he feels the familiar warmth coil itself in his abdomen, close to release. Mouth hanging open, Calum doesn’t think Luke realizes the soft continuous “ah ah ah’s” that are leaking out of his mouth as he feels his orgasm building. Small tears escape his eyes with how good Luke feels as he imagines it’s his boyfriend’s thumb that goes over the tip of his leaking cock, sliding his precome over his slick dick. At one point during their FaceTime, Luke had stopped jerking himself off to hike up the beige hoodie that he has on, tucking it under his chin, revealing perky nipples and pale skin with luscious chest hair.

“Look how pretty my boy is, all desperate for me.” Luke preens at calum’s words, warmth growing in his cheeks and heart. “Look how beautiful you are, at worked up, just from imagining me jerking your big huge cock off. And it’s at for me, my eyes only. God damn it Hemmings, what am I gonna do with you?” Calum lips his lips in anticipation. Luke loved when Calum got possessive in their dirty talk. It made him feel wanted, lusted over, and more importantly, loved.

A low whine escapes Luke’s lips as the blond imagines face-fucking Calum. He’d take his cock so nicely into his mouth. His greedy greedy mouth. Luke imagines calum’s jaw going slack as the brunet succumbs to his own pleasure and with a dazed look in his brown orbs, the blond imagines fucking calum’s throat relentlessly as he jerks himself to climax.

With a shout of calum’s name, Luke comes all over his stomach and chest, huge spurts of white spunk paints his chest hair, mingling in the unruly curls.

Eyes glazed over with his orgasm, the blond sees his boyfriend’s mouth open in a silent scream as Calum cums too in his own pants.

After a couple minutes of silence from both ends as they came down from their orgasmic highs, Luke chuckles.

“I really needed that cal. Thanks. I’m so relaxed now…”

They stay on the line for a while longer, just smiling like goofs to each other.

#cake hoodings #cake 5sos #calum hood #luke hemmings #one shot #smut #fluff #drabble #fan fic #my work

[evakuality]

Even and David comparison, season three, episode five.  You can find the other comparisons in this series starting over here, and the Isak and Matteo versions starting here.

I’ve been procrastinating on this one a bit simply because these next few episodes are so difficult emotionally.  They were hard when it was Isak and Matteo and they’re even harder with Even and David.  These boys really take a dive at this point, from some giddy heights to some very hard lows.  There is a lot to be said about their own internal thought processes here, and I’ll try to do a bit with them, but I will try to limit myself to things that are likely based on other things we know about both characters.

The most interesting thing about the start of these episodes, of course, is the difference in how Even and David deal with discussing their issues.  Even is so jaded about it, which makes sense given his experiences.  To him, becoming fatalistic is just part of growing up (“I forgot how young you are”) rather than actually understanding that it’s a reaction to the trauma that he’s experienced.  To Even, Isak doesn’t have the dark swirling thoughts, the fear of being alone with his brain etc the way Even does not because that’s actually a perfectly reasonable and healthy mindset, but because he’s too young to have got there yet.  There’s an assumption that it will come eventually.  Even’s protective method for himself is to live life to the fullest while you can, grabbing every opportunity when it arises and deal with the consequences later.  Life is short, the only way out is death and therefore he goes after beauty and love when he can.  He’s going to get what he can out of his life.  He only runs away when something hits too close.  

David, on the other hand, has a firm plan worked out.  He’s not going to put down any sort of tie if he can help it and if anything happens that threatens him again he’s going to run.  He’s very explicit about this.  “I run.  Hide.  Then I wait.”  And he’s explicit about doing it alone.  His definition of ‘alone’ is interesting, though.  To him, being alone is being away from your family.  Therefore his ‘hiding’ was always likely to happen with another person, just one that he sees as his family (and we will get there, but his suggestion that Matteo come with him when he runs in episode 9 reflects this: by that time, Matteo is his family).  He believes that Matteo, living in a shared apartment, is actually living alone.  It’s quite different to how Even reacts to Eskild, who he does see as sort of Isak’s family (after he clarifies that it’s not sexual).  We don’t know much about David’s family except Laura, but we can already see that those bonds are very important to him.  Even’s family remains a mystery, so it’s safe to assume he doesn’t have the same sense of need around them.  Which makes sense; the things both boys are struggling with are different.

These two boys are both desperate for control of their own lives, but it comes out in such different ways.  Even wants to grasp everything, do everything, and chooses to retreat only when his secret is threatened.  In some ways, David feels this too, but his secret is threatened much more often and is more easily exposed.  That’s probably why his need to be in control of his own life and story is so much more rigid.  Or rigid in a different way.  Even masterminds an image and projects it, but even here where he’s letting his guard down a little he still has the need to be in control.  It’s just that his control is to minimise his experiences and what they mean, and suggest that everyone will feel this way when they grow up a bit.  David’s rigidity is around the way he lives day to day, and his ability to remain aloof from everyone to enable a swift departure when he needs to again, the need for ‘free will’.  He stays small, hopes to be unnoticed.  This conversation with Matteo is probably more threatening to him than Even’s is with Isak.  Because David is opening up, being seen and known.  He’s laying down a connection, one he desperately wants and needs, but one that drags his secret much closer to the light.

What’s really interesting is that in this first cuddle clip we never see Even ‘alone with his thoughts’ because Isak is awake for the entire thing, whereas David is shown in his own head for quite a while at the beginning with Matteo cuddled up into him.  This puts both of them into different headspaces and makes a lot of sense of the reasons why Even, who is so obsessed with how difficult being alone in your own head is, doesn’t actually get sucked in too deeply in this bit.  David, who doesn’t have those hangups, is however put in a place where he has to think about everything this might mean for him.  Even so, the tone of the Skam clip is very different to the Druck one.  While both deep conversations are serious and both Even and David are very open about their issues there, the surrounding stuff is different and shows up the differences in their personalities.  Even and Isak, when they aren’t talking about serious stuff are either kissing or just as seriously talking about random entertainment stuff (Nicholas Cage or making movies about boys with drops of water in their throats).  David and Matteo, on the other hand, are wrestling, biting, shoving, being total idiots as well as some kissing etc.  There’s a lightness there that isn’t the same as with Even and Isak.  This all makes sense for our boys.  Even has wanted this for such a long time that he’s revelling in being able to touch and hold Isak and keeps him close to enjoy that, whereas David has fallen into this thing the same way Matteo has.  They’re both young and silly and overwhelmed and so this stuff is natural to them (and also, this characterised their time the day before even though we didn’t see that yet; they mess around and do stupid stuff together and that’s part of who they are).  The connections they built over the previous weeks helps here, too.  They’ve had a lot more one on one time than Even and Isak have and so David is more used to being like this with Matteo.

The ending of the clips shows the differences too.  Isak and Even are interrupted by Eskild which shows Isak’s ‘fears’ of being caught, but it’s over quickly without the secret being exposed, but then the intrusion from Sonja is bigger because the threat to their togetherness that she represents is more real.  David and Matteo are interrupted by both Sara and Leonie (presumably they have been together and decide to contact the boys together), and so there’s much more of a sense of ‘we’re in this together’ as the moment is more secure for both.  Isak has reason to believe still that Even is messing around with him because of Sonja, but Matteo isn’t in the same boat, despite his own connection to Sara.  Even’s ‘I’m so fucked’ becomes David’s ‘we’re so fucked’ and his ‘can I stay in here with you?’ becomes ‘we’re staying here’ and so there’s a much surer sense of togetherness.  Obviously, David needs this at this point.  He’s been the one who’s more reticent about it all and so he needs that reassurance that Matteo is part of it the same way he is.  Even wasn’t likely to back off at this point, having finally managed to get what he wants.  David still has some big decisions to make about how, when or if to tell Matteo he’s trans.  If this is to work for him, he needs that closer sense of togetherness and companionship.

Both Even and David leave a picture behind for their boy when they leave the next day, but Even’s is much less specific than David’s.  Even’s suggests connection and refers to the parallel universe.  It’s a little melancholy, but displays a desire to be together if the universes align.  David’s again makes it clear that he would leave Matteo behind, but he would take with him something that reminds him of Matteo.  It’s a start, but it reinforces (in a way that Even’s talk and picture don’t) that David still plans to be alone.  If ‘disaster’ strikes, he still isn’t sure enough of what’s happening to really let Matteo in, and this becomes very important at the end of the episode.  While Even tries to draw Isak closer with this picture, David is still keeping Matteo at arm’s length.

Having said that, Even then goes mia for a while and Isak has to try to hunt him down.  David sends coordinates and is the one to make a connection with Matteo.  I get the feeling that he was considering what to say to Matteo here, and whether to tell him, but things got a bit too real for him when Matteo told him he finished things with Sara for him.  When they were in Matteo’s bedroom it was still a fantasy and sara was still there as a buffer.  Even pulls back here at a moment when Isak makes a comment that cuts him to his core when he had been all-in, whereas David is suddenly confronted with a Matteo who is clearly all-in himself and who wants a real relationship.  For Even, the knowledge that Isak doesn’t want people like him in his life is devastating but he holds it together and gets out of the situation as gracefully as he can.  David doesn’t hear anything like that, in fact what he gets is the opposite but it’s just as terrifying for him.  He has to decide whether to open up or whether to try to hide again.  We see effectively the moment that he decides he has to hide and pushes Matteo away but like Isak, Matteo doesn’t realise this is what’s happening because like Even, David hides the way he’s feeling.  It’s easy to tell that something is up, but Matteo doesn’t really pick up on how serious it is.  

That’s partly because Matteo is so head over heels, and so deeply into the way he feels, that he can’t really see the different places the two of them are at.  But it’s also at least partly because The last two times he’s spent with David have been characterised by a lot of fun and silliness and a lot of bonding behaviour.  They’ve spent literal hours together over this week and David has definitely made it seem like he’s as into this as Matteo is.  Of course, that’s actually true.  David is into this, but the problem is that those moments that seemed like a growing budding connection to Matteo are filled with one major road block for David.  The closer they get to each other, the less secure that secret becomes and the more likely he is to feel like he needs to run.  By now they’re very close, Matteo is making it very obvious how open he wants to be and David feels backed into a decision.  His picture was a major clue that he’s not ready to be that open, but everything he’s done is opaque enough that there’s no reason for Matteo to pick up on it.  

Even, too, makes something of a snap decision and in a closer look we can also see with him when that decision happens.  His reasons are very different, but the effect is just as devastating (for him and for Isak).  They both feel a need to protect themselves and they both indulge their own tendency to pull back.  For Even, this must be worse tbh.  After the weekend, he would have been giddy.  The boy he’s been into for so long kissed him and spent a lot of time with him.  It felt like they were at the start of something big and exciting.  He then speaks to Sonja, tells her about Isak and then goes to him.  It seems like things are really about to start, there’s so much promise.  And then Isak says he’s better without the mentally ill in his life and Even’s world crashes around him.  To David, the promise of a new start is the terrifying thing, but to Even, the terrifying thing is the knowledge that he is or could be unwelcome in Isak’s life.  The boy he’s been so connected with, the boy he broke up with his girlfriend for, will reject him once he knows the truth.  While David runs because everything becomes too real and too likely and too much, Even runs because everything he finally thought he was getting was smashed to pieces and what had seemed to be real and promising turned to dust.

That affects how they each deal with Isak and Matteo as the episode comes to an end.  Even sends a text that things are going ‘too fast’ and then goes back to Sonja.  As much as he doesn’t want to be with her anymore, she knows about his mental illness and she hasn’t pushed him away.  He obviously leaves things open with Isak by saying he needs time, which suggests he hasn’t entirely closed the door.  Even so, he goes back to Sonja and the soft comfort of her understanding.  It’s not what he wants but it’s safe.  David sends effectively the same text with the addition of ‘don’t be angry’ but instead of being the nice final thing it was for Isak, Matteo comes to his home.  There’s no girlfriend for David to shield his feelings behind, and Matteo is once again making it very plain that he’s going to do what it takes to be with David.  He’s made his decision, sent his text, but Matteo isn’t sticking to the script so he sends another message in a panic.  This one is as harsh as David can make it because he needs to push Matteo away.  Again, he’s left in no doubt as to Matteo’s intentions, and again it’s too close for comfort.  So he does what he needs to in order to be safe, even though it’s not what he wants.  They both leave the door open, but Isak doesn’t step through yet.  Matteo does and it’s so scary for David how fast that happens that he immediately lashes out.

So there we have it.  By the time the episode comes to an end both Even and David have retreated into a safe space.  Their reasons may be different, the things that drove them there are different, but they are in the same space.  David’s is entirely self imposed.  Matteo has made it clear what he wants and it’s too scary.  Instead of allowing himself to trust in Matteo, which is completely understandable given his experiences before, David has chosen to hide.  Even feels like he’s going to be rejected if he takes things further with Isak, so to him this feels like it’s coming from the outside.  It’s not really; it’s his own hangups but they are exacerbated by Isak’s words.  So again, he retreats and hides from having to be vulnerable.  Both boys are too scared of the reactions they might get so they pull back into a space they perceive as safe (Even with Sonja, and David with his family) instead of having to deal with what they each fear.  In both cases, it’s totally understandable but in both cases it’s not necessarily the most satisfying or healthy option for them.  They do it not because they think it’s good, but because they’re scared.  What’s interesting is that from here on out, the way they deal with that fear is even more different than the ways they’ve dealt with other things, so that’s going to be good to look at over the next few episodes.

episodes six and seven can be found in this post

#skam #druck #my meta stuff #my even and david comparison stuff

[sanguinesprout]

A fearsome brooding storm (some updates and blah)

So... it’s been a while, almost 10 months since my last entry, wow. That’s sounds like a really long time in words but in reality it went by like a flash. I didn’t forget about this blog and I’m not gonna abandon it though!

The reason for the long break, well, to be honest at first I just didn’t feel up to writing. I wasn’t feeling too bad mental-wise actually but I didn’t feel I had much to say that wasn’t already kinda said. Things went on unexpectedly steadily and I felt I was actually making some progress up until a few months ago with the world being thrown into disarray by the pandemic and more recently with my physical health suddenly taking a sharp turn for the worst (not related to the virus).

I don’t know what to say other than I’ve been and still am really scared right now. I know this sounds overdramatic, but I’ve been genuinely worried that I might die any day now. Whenever the symptoms get really bad my mind just spirals into all these anxious thoughts and worst conclusions. 

I feel so terrified and numb at the same time, I just really hope I’ll be okay in the end. I’ve been trying my best to not panic, reassuring and distracting myself when I can. I wish I had some more support from my family in that way too, but they don’t really know how to give that sort of thing I guess. I know they are concerned for me though, even though I feel like such a nuisance to them especially right now... I have to remind myself that becoming ill wasn’t my fault though, life just really sucks sometimes.

I have been desperately waiting for news of appointments for tests every day but there’s a really long waiting list, so who knows when I’ll hear from anyone. It's really saddening and depressing, there are so many people suffering and the pandemic has only made it so much harder for everyone to get help. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for those working non-stop to help others right now too. All illnesses suck! I wish they didn't exist so no one would have to suffer!

It’s difficult to be positive right now, but I have to try. Don’t worry yourself so much silly me, you’ll be fine! Like with every other difficult time, you’ll pull through and look back on it and maybe even laugh about it. Most things are never as bad as you expect them to be. You’re strong and have lots of nice things ahead of you to accomplish. Don’t give in to the dark thoughts and feelings! You’re gonna be okay!

Because of the illness and the pandemic situation, I decided to quit my job. I feel like maybe I took the bad and avoidant way out and cut it off instead of just being brave and prolonging it with a sick note and sick leave. The thing is though, I’m uncertain if and when I’ll get better and also with the pandemic situation, I want to protect my parents as much as possible and that means minimising exposure to other people. 

My parents were supportive of this decision, they worry a lot for me too (though I wish they’d worry about themselves more and take their own health more seriously!!). I hope I will be able to get another job in future and maybe even in some place I feel more passionate about, that would be nice.

Anyways, to get away from those dreary topics. In the time between the last post till now I’ve been trying to get back into drawing and actually managed to make some small simple pieces I actually felt proud of. It took me so much will power to do it though with all the anxiety and reluctance still overpowering my motivation to do just about anything, so that made it even more meaningful. A tiny step forward is still something!

I’ve also been poking my blogs around some more. I agonised over the small details far too much again, but I can say that I’ve finally got them sorted for real this time. It’s just the actual use of them that is a hurdle I still struggle to get over. I’ll get there though! I have much more determination this time. 

There were a few times I tried to comment on other people’s things elsewhere and that was super difficult and I may have deleted some of them but I tried at least. I just need to do things more to get used to them again. It’s just so hard to not let all those judgey thoughts about myself occupy my mind. C’mon me, you can get over it, you can do it!

The friend I occasionally message hasn’t written back for a long time. I worry that maybe they got tired of me and finally split, but they told me previously that they were very busy and were apologetic, it is probably even more so with the current state of the world. It’s rude of me to jump to conclusions, but even if they did ghost me, I wouldn’t really be offended or anything. A lot of times I felt like I wanted to get away myself. 

It feels really bad to say that and I know it’s mostly the avoidant in me talking, but sometimes friendships just fizzle out too and there’s no helping it. I wouldn’t want to drag anyone along and make them feel uncomfortable. I wonder if I should contact them again, because I am worried about them too, but I don’t want to disturb or put any unnecessary stress on them. I guess I��ll just wait for now until things become normal again at least.

I think for this blog, I’ll just write whenever I feel like it rather than trying to force myself to write it every month (which I already failed lol). I do have a lot of other things I want commit my time to now and if I do them, I’ll maybe end up with more stuff to write here too, so it’s still going to be work out fine!

I kept thinking whether there would be any point of me posting things, seeing as my situation right now is so uncertain, but that’s not optimistic of me at all. You only live once, so you should try your best and do the things you want to do no matter what! 

I think I’ll stop here now. But maybe a little more last second pep talk first before I sign off! Things may be tough but you’ve got this! You are way stronger than you think and can overcome all the difficulties you may be facing! Every little step amounts towards big progress! The best time to do the things you want to do is right now! Don’t let your fears control your happiness and desires! You can do it!

Until next time (hopefully)! Take care and don’t give up! ^^

#avpd #depression #social anxiety #mental health #physical health #you're stronger thank you think #nothing ventured nothing gained #baby steps #keep going #be brave #be proud of who you are and what you can achieve #do what makes you happy #believe in yourself #you can do it! #optimism ftw! #look after yourself and your loved ones

[bamby0304]

Spanner in the Works- Ch.12

Series Masterlist

Summary: Your car breaks down, leaving you stranded in a small town. Waiting for your car to get the all clear, you find yourself getting closer to Sam Winchester, the handsome mechanic working on it. Will he be able to break down your walls? Or is this just a pit stop before you continue to run?

A/N: Check out the scent Sam from @scentsfromthebunker for a next-level fanfic experience!!

Warnings: Fluff. Angst.

Bamby

The next morning, you and Sam headed off to the garage like you said you would, and he carried you like he said he would.

You found you enjoyed sitting on one of the crates and watching him work. The way he worked out each problem in his head, the focus on his face, it was so mesmerising. Then when he actually got to work? Seeing him lean into the engine and work away was… well… let’s just say the hormonal part of your brain was drooling.

“Hungry?” Sam asked after about an hour.

All the two of you had for breakfast was a banana each, a coffee for him and a hot chocolate for you. So yeah, you were hungry.

“What do you have in mind?”

Chuckling lightly, he shook his head as he wiped his hands on a dirty rag. “That’s a dangerous question.”

“Huh?”

“Never mind.” Tossing the rag onto a nearby bench, he stepped over to you. “I was thinking… Charlie’s?”

“Is she even open this early?” you countered.

“No, but she’ll be there. And she’ll let us in,” he assured you, reaching out for you.

Taking his hand and letting him pull you to your feet, you raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “You sound pretty sure about that.”

“I know she will, because she’s got a crush on you,” he noted as he lifted you up into his arms.

Sure enough, Charlie was more than happy to let you and Sam into the diner before it was even open. Right away, she set the two of you up with a vanilla and strawberry milkshake, and then got to work on Sam’s egg white omelette and your pancakes.

“So… Dean is coming in to work today,” Sam told you as you went to take a sip of your milkshake.

Pausing halfway to the glass, you looked up to catch his gaze. “He is?”

Nodding, he watched you carefully as he picked up a fry. “Thought you might appreciate the warning.” When your gaze dropped to your drink, and your mouth fell shut, Sam put the fry back and leaned in closer. “Hey. Talk to me.”

“Your brother hates me, Sam.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“He’s mean to me,” you reminded him.

“Dean… is complicated.”

“I’m a big girl, Sam. If someone doesn’t like me, if they’re mean, I know how to deal with it. But… You and I are… you know…”

“Making out like teenagers?” he filled in for you.

The corner of your lips pulled up into an amused smirk as you nodded. “Yeah. That. And that can become something more.” Eyes going wide, you quickly backtracked, “Not that you want that. Maybe you’re happy with just this, the kissing, and that’s okay. I like it. And it’s safe. I don’t want you to think-”

“I want more.” Your mouth snapped shut and eyes remained wide at his admission. Realising what he said and the implications, he added, “I want more, but I don’t want to rush you. I get it. I get that you need time to adjust, and to think, and to do whatever you need to feel comfortable. But I want more.”

His words gave you pause. Where you should have been flattered and flustered at the prospect of him wanting more of you, something else occured to you… more meant staying.

Before meeting Sam, you were running.

That ‘more’ Sam wanted meant forgetting why you were running. It meant letting your fears go and trusting him. It meant trusting yourself. Could you really do that? After everything you’d ever been through and all you’d lost, could you trust yourself to be with this sweet stranger who actually wanted you?

Sam gave your hand a squeeze, pulling you back to him. “You okay?”

“I don’t know.”

Back at the garage, things were tense. First there was Dean, who you were certain didn’t like you- and had shown no proof that you were wrong. Then there was John, who you felt awkward around considering he’d caught you and Sam making out. Lastly, there was Sam…

Since answering his question at the diner without really answering it, neither of you had really said much. There was small, idly chit chat, but all conversation regarding the two of you had stopped.

Part of you hoped it was just due to your unease… but another part wondered if you’d upset Sam.

He’d admitted a lot to you, and you’d given nothing in return. There was nothing for you to give, though, because you really had no idea what was going on, around and inside you. Everything was suddenly conflicting. Your need to protect those around you meant you had to continue running. But your desire to have that something more Sam had mentioned was only just now blossoming, and the feelings that came with it were quickly becoming addictive.

Keeping Sam away from you would keep him safe. Leaving Sam would hurt you more than you were sure you could handle. Plus… you weren’t even sure he’d let you go so easily.

Already he’d made it clear that he cared. Sam didn’t have to let you stay at his place that first night. He didn’t have to offer to take care of your car. He didn’t have to carry you because of your injured foot. Everything he’d done since meeting you had shown care, understanding, patience...

Sam had been nothing less than an angel, and now you were left with the decision to either stay with him and see if what was growing between you would only get better… or leave and break both your hearts.

“Dad wants me to go with you to get lunch.”

Your head snapped up to look at Dean as he stood in front of you. “What?”

He rolled his eyes. “Lunch. You. Me. Get.” Lifting his hand, he jangled a set of keys in front of you. “I’m leaving now, if you don’t get in the car then it’s not my fault you didn’t do as he wanted.”

Before you could reply, he turned to leave. Obviously not wanting to disappoint John- and also grateful for the distraction, even though it meant spending time with Dean- you got to your feet to follow.

Dean glanced back as you started to walk, and quickly stopped, frowning as he watched you limp slightly. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Stood in glass,” you answered automatically while focussing on taking each step carefully to minimise pain.

He cocked an eyebrow at you “When did that happen?”

“The other night.”

There was a pause as he watched you before glancing over at his brother and father who were busy at work. You had no idea what might’ve gone through his head in that moment, but whatever it was had him sighing and walking towards you.

He wrapped his arm around your waist. “Put your arm over my shoulder.”

“What?”

“Put your arm over my shoulder,” he repeated. “I’m helping you to the car.”

Shock left you speechless as you did what he said. Right away, you felt the pressure from your foot lessen as Dean helped take some of your weight. What surprised you even more was the fact he didn’t complain, or even comment, the whole way to the impala waiting out front.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you mumbled as he helped you to the passenger side door before opening it for you.

“Yeah, well, last thing I need is Sammy biting my head off ‘cause I was treating his girl like crap,” he countered as you slid into the car.

“His girl?”

“You saying you’re not his girl? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure he’s had his tongue in your mouth and when it comes to Sammy, that means something.” Closing the door, Dean moved around the get into his side. “Plus, I see the way you two look at each other. It’s gross.”

“And that means something, too?”

“If you were a nobody fling I wouldn’t give a shit. So, yeah, it all means something.”

Bamby

#sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester fic #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x y/n #spanner in the works

[razieltwelve]

Underwater Combat (Final Rose)

Lightning paced at the edge of the small lake. “Although the vast majority of combat occurs on land, you may find yourselves confronted by aquatic Grimm. Not only are aquatic Grimm some of the most ferocious you’ll ever encounter but humans and Faunus are also typically far less effective underwater than on land.”

“It is not uncommon for even experienced huntsmen and huntresses to panic if they find themselves fighting underwater.” Lightning stopped and turned to regard the students with a stern glare. “When fighting underwater, panic is the enemy. You must remain calm not only to minimise your usage of oxygen but also to ensure you can use your Aura properly. When you are calm and focused, it is possible to use Aura to fuel basic metabolic processes. Although you will still have to come up for air, proper usage of Aura will allow you to fight underwater for periods in excess of ten minutes.”

A slow smile crossed Lightning’s face, and the students all gulped. They could tell where this was going.

“For obvious reasons, attempting to master the use of Aura for underwater combat in the field is basically an exercise in suicide, which is why we’ll be practicing now.” Lightning’s smile widened ever so slightly. It was not a nice smile. “You might be wondering why I didn’t tell any of you beforehand. Isn’t it obvious? Do you really think aquatic Grimm are going to let you change into more suitable clothing before you fight them?” She pointed. “Get in the lake. Now.”

An hour - and several near-drownings - later, Lightning was reasonably satisfied that all of the students could at least perform the technique. It was time to progress to the next stage.

“Performing a technique in a training session is a lot easier than performing it under the strain of a real situation, which is why we’re going to be making this a bit more realistic.” Lightning’s lips curled. “Everyone out of the lake except Pyrrha.”

The redhead tried not to shiver as she suddenly found herself alone in the lake. “Uh… professor?”

“Look over there.” Lightning pointed. 

Pyrrha squinted. “Is… is that a shark, professor?”

“Not exactly.” Lightning chuckled. “You’ve shown a remarkable level of proficiency in today’s technique, Pyrrha, which is why you get to go first.” Lightning pulled out a stopwatch. “You need to last five minutes.”

“Five minutes?” Pyrrha frantically called her weapons to her from the shore. “What exactly am I going to be fighting - gah!”

X     X     X

Diana had often dreamed of being a sea monster in her younger days. She would swim through the ocean’s depths before emerging to terrorise unsuspecting ships. People around the world would fear Diana the Dreadful, sea monster extraordinaire!

Naturally, she'd moved on to other dreams. However, when her mother had asked her if she wanted to help with a training exercise, she hadn’t been able to resist. Getting to act like a sea monster while receiving course credit? Perfect.

X     X     X

Pyrrha had fairly little experience with underwater combat. So when something rammed into her with all the force of a truck and then dragged her underwater, it took every bit of her control to keep from panicking. Instead, she mustered her Aura and did her best to stab at the eyes of whatever had grabbed her.

Despite her best efforts, however, her strikes barely seemed to do anything to the strange creature that had seized her. It looked like a cross between a shark, a crocodile, and some kind of… well… it was really quite difficult to say what it looked like.

A blow thundered into her gut, and Pyrrha folded. Her Aura flashed. The creature let go of her, and Pyrrha tried to get her bearings back. Yet the battle had carried them deeper into the lake, and the waters were a little too dark for her to easily spot her opponent. Unbidden, panic began to well up in her. And that panic only increased when something grabbed her by the foot and began to drag her down into the depths…

X     X     X

Lightning watched one of Diana’s drones pluck Pyrrha out of the water. The redhead coughed and hacked before rolling onto her side once the drone had dumped her onto the shore. The other students were all looking between the redhead and the lake in absolute horror. Pyrrha was one of the finest students in the academy, and she’d barely lasted three minutes. At the centre of the lake, the water churned as the ‘monster’ swam in swift, powerful circles.

“Blake,” Lightning said. “You’re up.”

X     X     X

Diana almost felt bad about grabbing Blake and dragging her below the surface but then she remembered the time Blake had stolen some of her tuna. Still, she had to be careful. Pyrrha had only panicked when placed under real danger of drowning. The instant Blake’s head was below the surface, she had begun to get uneasy, and in less than a minute of fairly pedestrian combat, her concentration was too frazzled to maintain her control over her Aura.

X     X     X

“Well…” Lightning watched Blake glare at her balefully as she wrung water out of her hair. “I do believe it’s Elsa’s turn.” She paused. “And, no, Elsa, freezing the lake solid is not a suitable way to complete this exercise.”

X     X     X

Elsa took one look at the monster rushing toward her underwater and decided that discretion was the better part of valour. Alas, her attempts to retreat to shallower, less murky water were completely futile. Even so, she managed to keep some semblance of calm, right up until the monster opened its mouth to reveal jaws laden with very, very, very big and very, very, very sharp teeth.

She opened her mouth to scream and promptly got a mouthful of water.

X     X     X

Diana cringed. That wasn’t quite the reaction she’d been going for. Oh well. She twisted her body and hurled Elsa out of the water. 

X     X     X

Elsa was vaguely aware of flying through the air before someone caught her.

“Are you okay?” Averia asked.

Elsa blinked blearily. “Huh?”

“Oh, good. You’re conscious.” Averia leaned closer. “But I think you might have swallowed some…”

Elsa passed out.

X     X     X

One by one, each of the students went into the lake. And one by one, they emerged spluttering, coughing, hacking, and generally miserable. The control and precision required to maintain the Aura technique in the midst of combat was exceptional. Panic was the quickest way to lose control of it, and panic was completely natural when people weren’t used to fighting underwater. 

Lightning’s brows furrowed. She could tell the students weren’t happy, but this was necessary. She’d seen too many good huntsmen and huntresses lose their lives due to panic and inexperience. It was better for them to struggle and fail while at the academy than to struggle and fail on a mission.

“All right,” Lightning said. “That’s enough for today.” Her voice softened ever so slightly. “Don’t feel bad for failing today. The purpose of this exercise wasn’t just to show you a new technique but also to show you how far you have to go before you can use it properly. We will be doing this exercise again, but I doubt any of you will last five minutes. What I want, however, is for all of you to do better than you did today.”

“Uh… professor,” someone asked. “What is that thing we’ve been fighting?”

“Oh?” Lightning shrugged. “Diana!”

The teenager stepped out of the water, flesh shifting and changing as she adopter a form more suitable for travel on land.

“Oh.”

“Ragnarok is an exceedingly powerful Semblance,” Lightning said. “Its user can basically do whatever they want with their own body. Using genetic templates, a bearer of Ragnarok can easily take on a form perfect for underwater combat.”

“So… it’s basically cheat, right?” Jaune asked.

“Pretty much.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Yep, Lightning is evil. But that doesn’t mean she’s wrong.

You can find me on fanfiction.net, AO3, and Amazon.

Definitely check out my Amazon stuff if you enjoy my sense of humour.

#final rose #fanfiction #lightning farron #pyrrha nikos #elsa #blake belladonna

[sky-scribbles]

1-5, 15-18 for Wren!!

Aaah, thanks so much for asking! (Warning: some Retribution spoilers in these answers.)

1. What is their secret identity? do they have any nicknames? what is the meaning behind them?

Their full name is Wren Serrano; first name chosen simply because they love small birds - something always in danger, always vulnerable, but free - and the surname chosen because it was the name of a bookshop owner they met shortly after their first escape from the Farm. He sold them their first book, gave them free coffee, and talked to them about authors for hours. It was the first time Wren had felt like a person.

The only person who nicknames them is Ortega. He either calls them ‘the human espresso’ (because they’re small and bitter) or variations on ‘bird,’ including ‘Wren-bird,’ ‘little bird,’ and ‘tiniest bird in the entire world.’

2. What is their sexual/romantic orientation and gender? 

They’re nonbinary and pan-demiromantic demisexual! One day I may make a main OC who’s not ace-spec and/or aro-spec, but it is not this day...  (I’m still figuring out their exact relationship with their gender, but I might talk more about it once I know more!)

3. What is their villain name? why did they choose it?

Myriad. None of what Wren’s doing as a villain is for them: it’s for the Re-Genes, and everyone else chained and exploited by the system. Wren’s the spokesperson for the myriad who’ll go voiceless unless someone stands up and fights.

4. What does their villain armor look like? what is their typical style of dress?

Officially it’s the ‘mysterious’ style, though I picture it more as half mysterious and half functional - I have art here! Telepathy and speed upgrades, because Wren would rather enhance skills they already have than risk learning (and messing up) completely new skills like super strength.

Their dress is nondescript and casual, because Wren really just doesn’t get the concept of fashion (especially without Anathema around to help them out.) They can generally be counted on to be wearing a hoodie or jumper that’s much, much too big for them, jeans, and/or a lot of plaid. It’s comfortable and it requires minimum effort. 

5. What is their zodiac sign?

Wren considers their ‘birthday’ to be the day their chose their name: September 5th, which makes them a Virgo. Apparently that means they’re methodical, sensitive and prone to over-thinking, which sounds about right...

15. What is their greatest flaw?

Wren has a tendency of... solving different problems to the ones they actually have. When they feel scared and alone and helpless, they comfort themselves by making new villain plans, learning to make new kinds of tech, studying their favourite books. They arm with knowledge that makes them feel stronger, more prepared, more like themselves... but which is actually a way to avoid confronting their habitual self-isolation or trying to heal from their trauma. 

16. What is their best virtue?

Cliche as it might sound, their empathy. It’s their compassion for their fellow Re-Genes that made them a villain to begin with, someone who might just change the broken system; it’s their compassion for the Rangers and the people of Los Diablos that means they always minimise the damage of their villain plans. It’s what made them adopt a stray cat they really didn’t plan for, what made them train Herald and make peace with Steel. 

It’s what’s giving them people (and a cat) to care about, and who care about them. It’s what’s making them feel a little less alone for the first time in years. And I think it might just be what pulls them through all this mess.

17. What is their ultimate goal?

Show the world the truth. Make them see that the Re-Genes are people, or can be - and make everyone care about it. Destroy the Farm and every institution that holds it up. Free everyone from the leashes the government’s placed around their necks. 

And then... find the Re-Genes. Help them become people. Help them find lives in the world. They’ll do it one Re-Gene at a time for the rest of their life if they must.

18. What is their greatest fear?

Being vulnerable. Vulnerable to the Farm, to another creature like Heartbreak. Vulnerable to the people they love. They’re not sure they can bear the pain of exposing themselves and their secrets to someone, only to have them turn away. Naturally, this doesn’t help the self-isolation thing any.

Thanks again for asking! My birb child is a mess but they’d trying very hard and I love them very much.

#aurrieccentrics #fallen hero #fallen hero: rebirth #fallen hero spoilers #oc: wren serrano #long post #sky answers stuff

[anxietysroomsupport]

This might be 1/2 @ I sent my dad wanting to see my scars and yesterday we got in a fight and I locked myself in the bathroom because I didnt want to see him and he was gonna take phone for something stupid, me and my step mother dont get along at all so if she has to tell me something then she'll tell me quickly and we move on with life and if she is still talking afterwards it's usually something negative about me and I dont know how to describe it because you have to live through it I guess

2/2 and so my stepmother told me not to do something and I said okay and put my headphones back on because I know shes gonna say something petty afterward and my dad doesnt understand it and if I ever tell him anything about her he does nothing but "talk" to her which probably gets her more pissed and either way I dont know how to tell him without overreacting because it used to be huge stuff but now it's small so she doesnt get in trouble sorry it turned out to be three

I'm in the bathroom and I unlock it because hes saying I'm just making it worse so I hide my phone and open the door and he locks it and demands to see my arms and I'm telling him and that I'm not doing it (and im not) and that he just isnt listening and he said hes gonna grab my arm so he does just that but im stronger and I dont let go of my sleeve because why would i want to show it, it's a constant reminder of how fucking pathetic I am in the end he doesnt see and I'm sorry this is four

And after he calmed down and stopped man handling my arm he asks me what it's all about and why I'm depressed and that pisses me off because if he even payed the tiniest bit of attention hed know literally nothing is wrong. He asks me why I started and I start mention he didnt let me cut my hair and I probably sounded so stupid to him because he doesnt know why cutting my hair was such a big thing (I was really dysphoric about it) and i cant explain anything to him without sounding dumb

I'm sorry everything turned into a long thing I'm sorry I was the dad one sorry didnt mean to send so much an didnt get to send all of the stuff that went on so I probably sound like and idiot I'm sorry

Sorry I'm the same anon I didnt explain very well and sorry a bit I slept off but a lot I didnt and this is gonna sound stupid but I had an attack after and during but he didnt know but I think it was worse after when he finally left me alone or maybe better idk I was talking to a friend after and I feel like they think im such and idiot because they probably didn't understand a word I said and my dad just kept saying what's wrong with you when I wouldn't give him a hug

Hiya anon! First of all, you don't have to apologise for sending in multiple asks, that's more than ok! I understand what you're saying.

There is nothing "stupid" about having anxiety attacks, particularly in what sounds like a very stressful scenario for you. Your dad had no right just grabbing you, regardless of whether he warned you beforehand. During anxiety attacks, I know it's hard in the moment, but try and focus on grounding yourself and breathing. Ask yourself simple questions about your surroundings, such as "What can I see," "What can I smell," "What's the temperature like?" If you're alone, there are videos made to help calm you down, I'll link some here and here. There's also an app called Clear Fear which some of us find helpful.

Self harm does not make you pathetic. It's an unhealthy practice, one that you should try to steer away from, but it doesn't make you a failure. It's a sign that you've put up with a lot of sh*t, which takes a lot of strength to persevere through. I think you're pretty d*mn strong, anon. There's an app called Calm Harm which our admins recommend, it's quite helpful for a lot of us. It's also a good idea to try and work on using healthier alternatives, like doodling on your skin in red pen, pressing ice to the place you want to harm, or pinging an elastic band against your skin.

I'm sorry your hair makes you dysphoric, that must suck. If you're uncomfortable with your dad knowing that, maybe you could explain that you like the style and want the freedom to express yourself? It's your hair, and you should get to decide what to do with it. Maybe say that experimenting with styles now will help you figure out what you'd like when you're older.

It sounds like stuff isn't great at home, so if it's an option, you can try looking into volunteer work or 'studying' in public spaces like libraries to help minimise the amount of time spent in the house. Some people also find journalling and writing thoughts down/venting helps them cope with things at home. If it's an option, I think it'd be a good idea to look into therapy as well, purely on the basis that it sounds like you're going through a lot, and you deserve to have people there to help you. If you go to school/college/uni, there are normally counsellors there you can talk to. You can probably take a friend with you if that's easier. Speaking of which, I'm sure your friend doesn't think you're an idiot. From the messages you sent us, it sounds like you're distressed, but you're still coherent to me. I'm sure they're not going to think badly of you for being shaken up after being put through a lot of stress.

Hope this helps, we're rooting for ya xxx

Good luck~ Clover

#long post #self harm #tw self harm #tw: self harm #scars #stepmother #stepmom #dad #anxiety #anxiety attacks #swearing #censored swearing #dysphoria

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Cape Town. (Chapter 6) (Ryan Ross x Reader)

Note: It’s been more than five months since I’ve updated this and quite frankly, I am disgusted with myself. Thank you for being so patient. x

~Monday, 22 March 2009~

“What the…” Ryan awoke with a start, shooting into an upright position as he felt something press against his leg.

His hair was totally messed up from being pressed against the pillow, and his eyes were still swollen almost shut with sleep. He rubbed his fingers over them and groaned, trying to wake himself up.

When his body finally processed that he was awake and his vision cleared, he noticed the presence of his bandmates gathered around his bed with Brendon sitting practically on top of his legs, and he felt the anger well up inside of him.

“What the fuck, you guys?” he croaked angrily. The swelling in his eyes might’ve gone down, but his morning voice remained.

“Ryan,” Brendon spoke softly before pausing, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath – all for dramatic effect, “this is an intervention.”

The guitarist scrunched up his face and groaned in agony as he unsuccessfully attempted to literally kick Brendon off of the bed. “Piss off. Let me sleep.”

“George Ryan Ross The Third-“

“I’m gonna fucking punch you.”

“-as your bandmates – but more importantly, as your best friends – we decided to call for this event because we’ve noticed an alarming change in your character. Over the course of the past eleven days, you’ve managed to give in to the sweet temptation of a ‘vacation fling’ and turned yourself into a lovesick puppy. We’re here to put an end to it.”

“Uh huh,” Ryan drawled with a bored expression as he leaned against the headboard, “And how exactly are you planning on doing that?”

“That…” Brendon turned up his nose. “Is not for you to know.”

“So you have no plans, then.”

“Actually,” the singer scoffed at his friend and casted an offended look, “we have tons of plans, thank you very much.”

“So nothing, then.”

“Fine! We have nothing, okay?!” Brendon snapped, tossing his hands in the air exasperatedly as Ryan sniggered along with Spencer and Jon. The singer turned to toss a filthy look at the drummer and bassist, who were supposed to be backing him up; the two cleared their throats and displayed neutral facial expressions, while Brendon turned back to Ryan and began pleading desperately. “Ryan, come on, man. Please just recognise that you’re making a huge mistake with this whole (Y/N) thing!”

“Nothing involving (Y/N) is a mistake,” Ryan retorted with a frown.

“You see?” Brendon extended both hands out. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You’ve known the girl for less than two weeks and you’re already head-over-heels!”

“So what if I am? What’s the big deal?” Ryan raised his voice slightly, shifting even more upright as he gestured between his bandmates. “Everyone here likes her – we all think she’s incredible.”

“Yes, we do. Which is exactly why we don’t want to see her get hurt!”

“I’m not-“ Ryan cut himself off by sighing and squeezing his eyes shut. He wanted to argue his point but he realised that continuing with this argument would bring nothing but unnecessary effects.

“Look,” the guitarist shoved the duvet off of his body and swung his legs onto the floor as he reached out to clamp a hand on Brendon’s shoulder, “I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, B. Really, I do. I know that you’re just looking out for me. For both of us. But we’re both adults – we’re perfectly capable of making our own decisions, and as much as you hate it, you’re gonna have to just deal with it.”

After a long moment of silence, Brendon sighed and stood up.

“Fine,” he caved, “Do what you want. But know that I still do not approve, and this conversation changes nothing. When you’re making an ass out of yourself in front of (Y/N), don’t expect me to jump in and help.”

Ryan scoffed loudly. “You haven’t been doing that, anyway! In fact, you’ve been doing the exact opposite!”

“Yeah, well,” Brendon headed for the door, “Don’t expect me to stop doing that, either.”

 ~Monday, 23 March 2009~

Standing in the en suite of his hotel bedroom, Ryan grumbled and frowned at himself in the mirror as he attempted to articulate clearly and fluently.

“Soo… soos heemel op ar-aarde,” he tried, growing more annoyed at himself with every second that passed, “Soos-“

“What are you doing?”

Startling a bit since he didn’t know Jon had been watching him, Ryan whipped his head around to look at his bandmate. Jon raised a questioning eyebrow and Ryan sighed heavily.

“I’m trying to speak this sentence in Afrikaans but as you heard, I’m completely shit at it.”

The guitarist turned back to the mirror after explaining himself and resumed practicing as Jon watched in silence, leaning against the doorframe with folded arms. He watched his friend struggle for a few more minutes before speaking again.

“You’re really serious about her, huh?”

Ryan stopped reciting the string of foreign words and turned his head ever so slightly. He didn’t offer a response, though. He only twitched his lips upwards, and then went back to practicing merely seconds after.

“What does it mean?” Jon tried again, referring to the sentence Ryan was so desperately trying to perfect.

It was clear to Jon by the way that his friend turned all shades of red and started shifting his weight from one leg to the other that the translation was no doubt something unbelievably cheesy, and he rolled his eyes.

“Ry, if you’re worried about me judging you on the cheesiness of the sentence then you’re an idiot. Are you forgetting that I’ve read practically every single lyric that you’ve ever written? We’re way past judging at this point.”

As if contemplating all of his life decisions up until this point, Ryan closed his eyes and groaned loudly. Running one hand through his hair, he turned around to face Jon.

“It means: ‘You’ve made these past few days feel like heaven on earth’.”

Jon couldn’t stop the raucous laugh that erupted from his throat and just barely managed to stop himself from toppling over from laughter. Ryan, on the other hand, was not amused, and stared at his bandmate with a straight face.

“So much for no judging,” he scoffed under his breath.

Finally able to compose himself, Jon shuffled forward to pat Ryan on the back.

“Don’t worry, man. It’s the thought that counts. I’m sure she��ll appreciate it.”

~

“Die, Kirstenbosch bus,” Brendon read aloud as your group strolled past one of the branded buses in the parking lot of the world-renowned Kirstenbosch National Botanical Gardens; his face screwed in confusion and he turned to give you a worried expression, “What did the bus do? Why do they want it dead?”

You and (Y/B/F) immediately erupted into a fit of giggles as the boys watched you in puzzlement. When you managed to control your laughter, you shook your head and waved your hand to show that he had misinterpreted the wording.

“That’s not what it means. ‘Die’ means ‘the’ in Afrikaans; so it actually says ‘The Kirstenbosch Bus’,” you explained, letting a few more giggles slip as you did so.

“Ohhhhhh,” Brendon made an ‘o’ with his mouth and raised his brows, “That makes so much more sense.”

“Speaking of Afrikaans,” Jon cleared his throat and not so subtly elbowed Ryan in the gut before moving from his spot next to the guitarist and striding over to walk with Spencer, Brendon and (Y/B/F), leaving you and Ryan to walk next to each other.

You tossed him a warm smile and slowed your pace ever so slightly so that both of you fell a few steps behind the rest. Ryan returned your smile, but was battling internally to get his erratic heartbeat under control; he took to readjusting his jacket just to give his hands something to do. He had hoped that you hadn’t noticed his bandmate’s earlier actions, but sadly for him, you had.

“What was that about?” you quizzed, glancing at the flushed face of Ryan.

Ryan struggled to think of a cover excuse, since he really didn’t want to admit the truth – especially since he hadn’t been expecting to so early on in the outing. But with the expectant way your friendly eyes were staring at him, awaiting a proper response, he found himself incapable of thinking on his feet, and he was left with no choice but to come clean.

“I, uh,” he nervously wrung his hands together and darted his eyes between them and your face, “I’ve been practicing… a little bit.”

Your face lit up at his revelation, and the sight alone was enough to banish all feelings of nervousness from his overhyped psyche.

“Yeah?” you smiled widely, “What’ve you learnt? Can I hear it?”

He chuckled under his breath at your eagerness and tilted his head to the side, nodding. “Yeah. It’s actually for you, so…”

“Go for it,” you urged, beaming at him.

He smiled a small smile, took a deep breath and then spoke. “Jy het hierdie afgelope paar dae soos hemel op aartappel laat voel.”

He delivered the sentence which perfect dialect and exorbitant confidence; he was convinced that he’d nailed it, and you could tell it, too. So, in order to try and minimise any damage to his feelings, you bit down hard on your lip to supress the laughter that was unforgivingly fighting to be let out.

Ryan picked up on your reaction and he frowned in perplexity over why your instinct was to laugh when he was so sure he’d spoken correctly. The rest of your group had heard his attempt at speaking the language and devastatingly for poor Ryan, (Y/B/F) wasn’t nearly as self-controlled as you were; she burst out laughing.

It was then that he realised that something was wrong, and he urgently looked between you and her, searching for an explanation.

“What?” he asked, “What’s wrong?”

(Y/B/F) was too busy laughing her ass off to even attempt to explain to the guitarist what the problem was, and you kept your mouth shut in fear that should you open it, laughter would come flooding out.

Ryan found his saviour in an elderly gentleman who had happened to be walking past your group at the time of the exchange, and the man gently placed a hand on the musician’s shoulder and leaned in to inform him of his mistake.

“It should have been ‘aarde’ instead of ‘aartappel’. You just told her that she’s made these past few days feel like heaven on a potato,” he said.

You lost it then, and a string of laughs escaped past your lips, prompting you to cover your mouth with your hand to try and silence them. Ryan stood there, having an existential crisis and wishing that the ground would open up and take him under. His cheeks were tinged a ruby color, and he tried to shrink into himself. He’d never been so embarrassed.

“Hey, no,” you willed yourself to stop laughing and cooed as you reached out for Ryan; you slowly took his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, making the tinge in his cheeks a deeper red and bringing a light flush to yours, “It’s okay; even I mix up words sometimes. It’s a tricky language. And I’d like to focus more on the thought behind it; I can’t believe you went and learnt that just for me.”

“Yeah, and I can’t believe I went and screwed it up,” he scoffed, shaking his head at himself.

You smiled sympathetically and rubbed his arm in reassurance. “Don’t worry. You’ll be borderline fluent by the end of the trip.”

~

The six of you leisurely strolled down the winding pathways of the gardens, with the boys turning their heads to admire all of the natural beauty and making sure to take heaps of photographs of anything and everything that they found beautiful.

For Ryan, that included you.

You'd come across a wandering baby tortoise along one of the paths and you stopped, crouching down to get a better look at it. You were fascinated by the little creature, and smiled down at it as it started moving along again; you were far too engrossed to notice that Ryan had snapped a few pictures of you.

He tucked his phone away right as you looked up at him, and he gave a closed-lipped smile as he extended a hand to help you up.

“Thank you,” you scrunched your face up in appreciation once you were upright once again.

“Don’t mention it.”

Brendon groaned audibly from behind the two of you but both of you chose to ignore him, turning into the section with a board that read ‘Fragrance Garden’.

“These are the nicest smelling plants in the garden,” (Y/B/F) told the boys before extending a hand in invitation, “Go ahead.”

The group dispersed, with everyone moving to a different plant and examining the information boards next to them. There was one plant in particular that caught Brendon’s attention, and the singer readily pointed it out to everyone.

“Ha, this one is a thirst-quenching plant,” he said, turning to smirk evilly at Ryan for a second before looking to you, “Do you know where we can buy one of these? I think Ryan needs some.”

You rolled your eyes and went back to smelling flowers, while the guitarist ground his teeth and glared at his friend, who merely sniggered before he also resumed appreciating the natural beauty.

“Mm.” Brendon peered into the soil at one paling flower that caught his attention, and began leaning in to get a waft of its fragrance. “Jasmine scented.”

Turning to check which flower he was gravitating towards, your eyes widened in shock as you spotted one of the garden’s inhabitants laying still in the soil, mere inches away from the flower.

Soundlessly, you began nudging Ryan with your elbow, trying to bring it to his attention as well. He turned around to give you a confused glance, and you silently shushed him while simultaneously pointing at the object of your attention.

Once he followed the direction of your finger and focused his gaze, he noticed it, too, and his mouth fell open in realisation. He shot you a quick, cheeky grin and you returned it before both of you resumed watching the blissfully unaware Brendon attempt to get up close to the flower.

And get close, he did. A little too close.

The miniature frog wasted no time in hopping onto Brendon’s face, causing the singer to let out a terrified shriek and tumble backwards as he tried to claw the unwelcome visitor off of his face, with you and Ryan laughing hysterically all the while.

His efforts proved successful and a couple seconds later, the amphibian hopped onto the stone path and retreated into the expanse of greenery, leaving a panting, dishevelled Brendon in its wake.

Still in shock over the incident, Brendon stood perfectly still as he stared after the creature; the only movements he made was the rise of fall of his chest with each heavy breath he drew in.

A sniggering Ryan sidled up to his friend, placed a hand around his shoulders and leaned in to whisper to him.

“You can try as hard as you like to try and mess this up for me, dude, but the universe is clearly on my side.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

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#ryan ross #ryan ross x reader #patd #p!atd #panic! at the disco #panic at the disco #the young veins #emo #music #emo trinity #emo quartet #band #bands #band members #band imagines #band member imagine #celebs #imagine #imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #capetown #cape town

[chezzkaa]

Numb pt 18

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Lumberjack AU Pairing: Ryan Haywood x Reader WC: 2300+

Date posted: 28 Oct 2018

“What the absolute fuck was that?!”

“I don’t know,” you admit, so uncomfortable with your own body that you want nothing more that to tear off the offending fixture and hurl it across the room. Preferably out the window.

Lauren doesn’t look like she’ll take that as an answer. “You’re hand lit up like a fucking beacon and shot a goddamn bear, Y/N.”

“I don’t know, how many times do I have to say it?” You stand, hurling yourself into movement. “This has never happened before, I don’t even know why I did it.”

“Go over it again for me?” she sighs, so exhausted that you can feel it dragging you down, too. “We can figure this out.”

“Figure this out?” you demand hollowly, falling onto the couch and sinking into the cushions. “Can’t we just be thankful that it didn’t kill us and deal with it in the morning?”

“We’re past the morning.”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Y/N-”

“Lol,” you plead, tearing your eyes from the silver scars adorning your palm and burying your gaze in the concern of your friend. “I can’t do this right now. Just let me breathe, please? Just - just for, like, a minute. I’ve got…” You sigh, head meeting the tops of your knees and a sob that you hope she confuses as a complaint rattling through your ribs. “I’ve got too much bouncing around right now. I need to be in a better place before I do this.”

She’s quite for a moment, chewing on her lip and picking at her fingers. “Okay. What do you want to do?”

“Smudge the house,” you say, concept not having crossed your mind until now. The thought feels alien in your muddled head. “Salt the entrances, and place charms on the walls. See if we can get some runes engraved on the posts and steps.”

“Which ones?”

“Protection, mainly. Warding. I want our coverns displayed. I want to make this place a fucking fortress.”

“This is… a lot for an animal, Y/N,” she says eventually, “or an entity. We don’t even know what it was, and you’re the only one that saw it.”

“I know,” you groan, hurling your useless stones into the armchair.

“Maybe it’s the new environment,” she prompts helpfully, brewing tea and a coffee for herself. “I did a lot of reading before deciding to live here, unlike you. And I found all sorts of stuff about how new environments, big emotional changes, and trauma can mess with a sister’s head. Can’t see why that wouldn’t mean that your abilities wouldn't be affected.”

“Emotional changes?”

“Girl.” She raises her eyebrows, snatching the piece of paper on the kitchen island and waving it at you. Even from this distance you can see the small kiss Ryan has left at the end of the note, heart squeezing at his acceptance of your dinner invite once everyone has settled in. “You haven’t been close to someone in forever. You seem to really like this guy, there’s no way this isn’t affecting you. I felt your heart do weird shit just then. Don’t ignore this.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that. But what about the weird thing I’ve been seeing?”

She shrugs, as though the explanation is simple. “Well, you’re the most powerful witch I’ve met. Most powerful ever, arguably. Besides Grandad, anyway. Maybe you’re projecting?”

“Projecting an evil monster in the snow?”

“Yah, wouldn’t be the weirdest thing you’ve projected. Remember when you watched the Grudge and we all saw that bitch everywhere for a week?” she takes a loud sip, grimacing with the scalding liquid. The smell coaxes you to your feet, shuffling over and taking a chair. “You’re in a new place that is practically isolated from the rest of the world, you’re in the environment best suited to you, you’ve got a crush, and the person you worked with on the case that finally broke you is hanging around.” Her voice softens, though remains careful. “Maybe you’re just frightened. You’re going through a lot and you have too much energy for one body. You’re most likely releasing it during times of fear so you don’t explode.”

“That… makes sense?”

“I know.”

“But maybe the Widow of the Woods is real? Wouldn’t that explain everything better?”

“The Widow of the Woods wasn’t a giant, fuck off bear thing… But I suppose it could be either. Though if we’re gonna work with the paranormal I’d at least like to have proof. Or know what the Widow is supposed to be. I can’t prove a ghost is behind this, but I can sure as hell prove that you’re a mess. So we’ll start with you and work from there. Sound good?”

You sigh, giving in and accepting the fact that you’re going to have to find some firmer footing so that you can minimise whatever it is that you might be projecting. “What would I do without you, Laurie?”

“Fuck knows. Probably die a horrible death, or live a boring life and freeze your ass off.”

“I like the cold.”

“Shut up and drink your tea,” she retorts, “I’m going to bed. Don’t wake me up until summer.”

-

Your knees ache, bruising beneath your weight and time spent kneeling. But you don’t relent. Sat out in the cold with a small blade clutched between numb fingers. Looking away from the final structural support pole you’ve been working on, you return your attention to the beaten book on your left, worn pages lying open and paper covered in your notes and symbols. You’d started as soon as Lauren had ascended the stairs, smiling until the last sight of her disappeared behind the door and you could panic in peace.

All that has been on your mind since has been your spellbook.

Nodding, you start to carve out the final line, muttering incantation as you go. Each groove eases your concerns and brings new blisters to light, skin red raw and begging to stop. You don’t. Not until the final set of protections are permanently etched into the wood making up your home and all that remains is to smudge what’s left.

The sound of footsteps crunch up the path and through the snow, heavy and confident. Closing the book, you twist. Repositioning to sit on the step while the blood flows painfully back to your feet. Jeremy continues to bob towards you, smile bright and hair start against the whiteness of the world. He’s dyed it again, the once pale blues now vibrant and joyful, and your lips tug into a grin. “Hey there, Detective.”

His chest puffs slightly at the use of his title, still proud of his achievements. You pat the space beside you and he collapses onto it, admiring your handiwork. “Hey, this is cool.”

“Thanks,” you reply flippantly, fingers absently tracing the marks you’ve made, “figured it was about time I did some decorating. What’s up, got a new case file for me?”

“Nah,” he sighs, seeming quite relieved about it. “I wanted to swing by and check to see how you were.”

“Better. Thanks for, err, answering my phone call the other night. Without you we’d have been fucked.”

He smiles warmly, lightly knocking his shoulder against yours. “Don’t worry about it, it’s my job. You’re lucky you got any signal, it was really weird. I didn’t even hear it ring honestly. I just heard you asking for help in my pocket.”

“God, that is weird,” you murmur, watching the trees sway. Trying not to think about uncomfortable your changing abilities are making you. “But I really do appreciate it, Jeremy.”

“You were pretty spooked when I picked you up though,” he responds carefully, eyes clouded with concern. “Did you see something strange?”

You shake your head. “Just a bear.”

-

You take the steps two at a time, eager to share the town you’ve come to love with your friends. The past month has seen your footing grown steady, confident as you maneuver across the ice they struggle with. You’re at the bottom in no time, breathing in the fresh air laced with baked goods and chimney smoke.

“First thing’s first,” you declare fondly, glancing back to make sure that everyone is still in tow - if not a little winded by the walk. Lauren, despite all of her layers of warm oranges and oatmeal wool, looks hopeful, enjoying your excitement while Trevor and Alfredo slip along behind, gripping each other for support. “We’ll hit up the local store. Geoff keeps it open pretty late, which is great.”

“You know the store owner by name?” asks Trevor, bewildered as you set off again. He takes hold of Lauren’s mittened hand and clings for dear life. “That’s crazy.”

“It’s a small town,” you reply, offering your arm to Alfredo, who takes it gladly, and making your way down the worn street. “Everyone knows everyone here.”

“Isn’t that a little annoying?” pipes in Lauren, desperate to keep Trevor on his feet, lanky legs slipping at every opportunity. “Everyone knows your business.”

“Yeah, it can be a lot,” you admit. Geoff’s mercantile comes into view as the group keeps walking, windows welcoming and storefront dotted with the flowers Jack so diligently tends. “Like, I’m pretty sure everyone knows that Ryan and I are fucking.”

“Fuck dude,” sympathises Alfredo, catching his cussing as a group of children rush by waving. You smile back, the man attached to your arm lowering his voice. “How do ya deal with that shit?”

“Easy,” you reply, waving off Bea and her friends, and smiling kindly to their parents as you pass. They offer you quick, warm hellos, Bea’s mum insisting that she owes you a cup of tea. Oh, she loves you, she calls, just adores you. Please, if you ever need a babysitting gig! You grin, returning your attention to your friends after eagerly accepting the offer. “Where was I?”

“You were telling us how to deal with everyone butting into your shit,” offers Alfredo.

“Oh, yeah. You just stop caring.”

“You say that like it’s easy for you not to panic about everything all at once,” laughs Lauren, leaning against Trevor as you draw to a stop, free hand resting on the door.

“Here’s the thing, I’ve gotten to the ‘fuck it’ stage of my life. Right now I need consistency, and this is the closest I’ve got.”

And with that you push into the store, cheerful bell greeting your entrance and even brighter Geoff opening his arms with glee. “Y/N!” he calls, working his way from around the register and taking his steps in quick bounds. “How are you doing?”

“Really well, thanks,” you reply, smiling into his warmth and accepting the hug he pulls you into, happy chuckles resonating against your cheek. “How’re you?”

“Fantastic,” he affirms, “Detective Jackass hasn’t broken anything in a week.”

You grin. “That’s gotta be a record.”

“I know!”

“I wanted to introduce you to some of my friends.” You motion to the three huddling together in their nervousness. “This is Lauren, her boyfriend Trevor, and their third wheel Alfredo. They live with me.”

Amidst Alfredo’s determined denials Geoff laughs, lines folding his face with age. “Well, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine.” He turns slightly, bellowing into the back room. “Hey Gavin - Asshole, get out here and meet Y/N’s friends! Now, what can I do for y’all?”

-

“I love him,” Lauren deems as you leave, backpack full of the biscuits Geoff had insisted she take. “I love my grocery dad.”

“It’s weird when you put it that way,” Trevor teases, earning himself an elbow.

“I don’t care,” she retorts. “He’s my grocery dad and I love him and he’s my favourite.”

“You just wait until you meet Lindsay,” you smile, “she’ll be your favourite too.”

Trevor pouts. “I thought I was your favourite.”

“Nup.” Lauren shakes her head, Alfredo attaching himself to your side and looking dubious down at the ice. “You’ve been replaced.”

“Wrecked,” you laugh, patting his arm as you pass. “Better luck next time.”

The rest of the morning is spent with banter and introductions, working your way through the town and stopping off at every notable location. Jon fills their hands with free coffees and cake, Lindsay and Meg insist they stay for a beer, and Jack happily entertains Lauren for an hour in the garden.

You’re relieved to see that they’re enjoying Motbury as much as you are, and the soft chime of your phone only adds to your positive mood. After scanning the screen you groan into standing, stretching until your shoulders pop and Alfredo casts you a critical eye. “Where’re you goin?”

“Work,” you reply, collecting your bag. “I’ve gotta pay for you fucks somehow.”

“Hey, I ain’t expensive,” he rejects, grinning. “What’re you going to work for though? I thought you’d have taken the day off, you know? To relax with your friends.”

“Nah, she’s fucking her boss, Fredo,” sneaks in Trevor, leaning across the stone wall he sits on. “Of course she’s gonna go to work.”

“Oh fuck off,” you laugh, waving away his words. “You can’t talk, you and Lauren met when you were her boss.”

“It was very unprofessional,” he muses fondly, watching his girlfriend explore the flowerbeds.

“Do you really like this dude?”

The question catches you off guard, Alfredo’s words thumping against your back. Chewing your lip, you turn to face them, both men looking at you with curiosity. “What do you mean by like?”

He rolls his eyes. “You know, like ‘like like’. Like, Trevor and Lauren like.”

Your hedge around the answer, having not admitted it out loud yet. “I mean, I guess.”

“You guess?” Trevor holds up a hand, stopping your apprehension in its tracks. “C’mon Y/N, we all know it’s more than that. As soon as anyone mentions Ryan - there, there you’re doing it right now! - you get a stupid smile on your face! You fucking fancy his pants off.”

“Alright, maybe I do. So what?”

“So?” Alfredo shakes his head, shocked. “So when are we going to meet him? We gotta put him through the rigorous testing procedure if he wants to date our girl.”

“Okay, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that cute shit.”

“I’m serious girl-”

“I’m leaving, bye guys!”

#Achievement hunter #rtah #ryan haywood #ryan haywood x reader #lumberjack au #lumberjack ryan #jeremy dooley #detective!jeremy #geoff ramsey #michael jones #lindsay jones #jack pattillo #gavin free #trevor collins #alfredoplays #alfredo diaz #numb #numb fic #witchy!reader #rt reader insert #rt imagine #achievement hunter insert #achievement hunter imagine

[race-jackson]

Maladjusted Chihuahua Tempers

Fandom: MCU Characters: Bucky Barnes, Darcy Lewis, Steve Rogers Summary: 

When his best friend from the 1940s meets the daughter he'd recently reunited with, the result is everything Bucky ever feared: chaos. Utter. Chaos.

alternatively: five times Darcy and Steve get Bucky arrested and the one time it's on him.

Read here on AO3.

Back when Darya had been growing up, there were times that Bucky wondered what life would be like if Steve had survived his plane crash to meet Bucky's kid. If they would get along, if he would be the Cool Uncle or the Strict Uncle, if he would recognise the person Bucky had become. At times, he even wondered if Steve wouldn’t just take Darya away from him, take her somewhere safe where he couldn’t hurt her.

It was hypothetical of course; Bucky's bizarre yet terrible history with HYDRA ensured that. But still, he couldn’t help but wonder.

And then he forcibly ejected the thoughts from his brain, because if one stubborn bisexual with the temper of a maladjusted chihuahua was bad enough, two would be an utter nightmare.

1

The Dad!Bucky of his youth had been right. The two of them were a nightmare.

By the time he'd managed to get his shit together enough to go back to his family, Dary–Darcy and Steve had been good friends for some time. They hadn't been at first, from what he could gather. As Natasha told it, in the beginning, the both of them were too stubborn to get along without knocking heads and spent several weeks either ignoring each other or exploding into raging arguments. Not that that was completely unexpected, considering their infuriatingly similar personalities and ethical codes.

Evidently, that had changed. As he found out within an hour of moving into the Tower, Darcy and Steve were as thick as thieves. Much to their significant others’ consternation – and Bucky's, definitely Bucky’s – the two had clearly decided that their efforts were better spent in tandem rather than in opposition, and thus had become very close.

It was everything Dad!Bucky had hoped and feared. That became very clear the first time they all went for a walk in Central Park together.

Warm for early November, the walk had nevertheless started out pleasantly enough. It was quieter than usual on a Sunday afternoon, with fewer people milling around than Bucky would have expected, but that only made it nicer. As they ambled around the Reservoir, Darcy and Steve chatted a bit, Bucky only a step behind them. Though they kept throwing him (what they thought were) subtle looks here and there to join the conversation, he stayed silent.

He wasn’t exactly sure how to convey that he was remaining quiet out of contentment than anything else. Knowing them, they would probably think he felt left out, or something equally stupid, and would then go to such great pains to include him that he would only end up annoyed.

Unfortunately, pissing him off seemed to be at the very top of their lists. At least, that’s what he reasoned when they came across the protest.

For a protest, it was pretty small. The counter-protest seemed, to Bucky at least, to be much larger. There were about one hundred or so people on one side, crowding about with placards and pamphlets. A banner proclaiming “New York State Right to Life: Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things” hung above them. On the other side, a much larger group also had placards to wave about, and, though the few closest to the other group were quite angry, most of them seemed

they had even started a sing-song chant.

“Keep your rosaries off our ovaries!”

It was creatively done, he’d freely admit.

Apparently, Steve and Darcy thought so too.

“Come on, dude, it looks fun!” exclaimed Darcy, tugging his metal arm towards the protestors.

Though HYDRA had left her strong, she was not nearly muscly enough to drag him wherever she wanted, and so she stood there for a moment with her biceps trembling with the effort of moving him. It was only when he relented that she was able to make any headway, falling over a little in her scramble to join the protests. Despite not saying anything, Bucky could feel the excitement emanating from Steve too, no doubt left over from Mrs Rogers’ impassioned speeches during their boyhood on reproductive health.

Bucky couldn’t hold back the sigh as they were eagerly handed spare signs that proclaimed “If it’s not your ute, you should scoot.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t agree, because he did, wholeheartedly. The problem was that Darcy and Steve … well…

“How dare you?! What gives you the right to dictate that?!”

Neither of them had what anyone would call–

“The fuck did you just say? Come back here and say that to my face you fucking cowardly piece of shit!”

–impulse control.

Th odd feeling in his chest as Natasha bailed them all out post-protest was hard to name. Maybe it was apprehension as he saw the almost-identical, satisfied grins and knew that this would only be the first of many times, or maybe it was resigned tolerance as he realised he would only be useful to minimise their bullshit. He wasn’t sure.

He did recognise a slight twinge of pride but quickly shoved it down. Such a thing would only encourage them.

2

It happened again when they went out to lunch the next week and Darcy overheard the man in the booth opposite theirs telling his girlfriend that she ought to order a salad.

The lunch date was another of their attempts to integrate him into society, like the walk in Central Park and trips to the downstairs coffee shop. Like the first big outing, however, it was ruined as Darcy, in over-alert puppy mode, perked up upon hearing the jerk in the booth over.

Darcy tapped the table in front of Steve’s bowl, but the lug was too engrossed in his chicken soup to notice. She then proceeded to kick him. Only she didn’t, because she missed and nailed Bucky’s shin instead, and so Steve remained oblivious until Bucky elbowed him in the ribcage after Darcy’s second failed kicking attempt got him in the knee.

“What?” he yelped.

Darcy jerked her head in the direction of where the man was saying something about weight loss programs while his girlfriend’s eyes filled with tears. After a moment, Steve’s jaw clenched shut, the rest of his face growing stormy with poorly-disguised disgust.

But when Darcy made as if to leave her seat, Bucky put his foot down.

“No,” he said sharply, though quietly enough that only Darcy and Steve could hear. “Don’t. You don’t know either of ’em and it’s not your place to get involved in other people’s relationships.”

“But–!” Darcy started to protest.

“No,” repeated Bucky. “We’re in public place and the wait staff don’t need to be dealing with your lack of self-control. Sit down.”

“But she deserves better,” said Steve. He’d gotten that glint in his eye which said he was disappointed with Bucky’s life decisions, which, what a fucking hypocrite. “You can’t think she deserves that, someone should say something.”

“I don’t think she deserves that,” Bucky responded, an aura of fake calm overtaking the need to pummel Steve’s face into the ground. “But I do think that you two have no idea what “escalation” means.”

Steve looked as if he was going to say something else, but at that moment, the guy from the other table exclaimed, loudly enough that the whole café could hear him, “I deserve better than a girlfriend who thinks shovelling food in her face is more important than my happiness.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Bucky cursed. And next thing he knew, Darcy had leapt out of her seat with pie in hand and an already-lecturing Steve at her side and proceeded to threaten the guy with pie face. In the next moment, it ceased to be a threat.

Luckily for Bucky, that time, the plainclothes officer that had been conveniently sitting at the breakfast bar was sympathetic, issuing only a warning.

3

The next police officer was not so sympathetic.

“There was an armed robbery, which we stopped. We were literally stopping an armed robbery. Which is, y’know, your job. We did your job for you. No need to thank us.”

The cell door was locked with an audibly loud clang. Without even looking at them, the officer stalked away to sit at his desk and continued to ignore them, seemingly unable to hear Darcy’s exclamations. She huffed, and Steve turned to her with a serious expression on his face.

“You just made that worse,” he told her.

Her eyebrows jumped in derision, her mouth curling, and she snorted.

“Says the guy who threw the robber into the aisle and damaged five thousand dollars’ worth of wine.”

“Yeah,” retorted Steve, having the grace to blush slightly, “but at least I–”

“Both of you are equally dumb,” said Bucky, stretching his arms. At an audible crack, he winced and reclined back into his corner. “Neither of you are smart enough to call the other dumb. You’re both dumb.”

If he hadn’t been languishing in a prison cell, he might have worried over the twin glares they sent him. As it were, he was languishing in a prison cell, so he didn’t give a fuck.

4

The next time they were arrested due to Steve and Darcy’s bullshit, Bucky gave even less of a fuck about their anger than the last. Especially since it was over Bucky being called a “hobo”. He did, however, realise that he should have been more apprehensive about their meetings in his retrospectively insane Dad!Bucky wonderings.

(He didn’t know why he called the period of time when he raised Darcy that. It was probably Darcy’s fault.)

5

The time after that, though, he could genuinely say he wasn’t mad.

By then, Bucky had improved a lot. Calm was his usual setting, and the slightest stressful moment no longer had him running for the hills. Which was useful, considering he spent most of his time around the two most stressful people on the planet. So yes, yay for improvement and all that. Apparently, though, that meant he had to start pushing himself to be out in very busy, very public places.

With the two most stressful people on the planet.

(Ok, so he didn’t have to. He just felt obligated to. At least one of them was his fault, and he hadn’t managed to stop the other from engaging in bullshit the entire time he’d known him. It was, therefore, his responsibility to protect the world from them.)

So they were out at a bar, one of the ones Darcy called “a complete dive”. Though they all nursed glasses of Jack, she’d managed to pinch some of the Asgardian mead Thor favoured, which was, incidentally, the only stuff that would get any of them even the least bit drunk. They were all slightly tipsy as a result, and from there the conversation had just gotten strange.

“On a scale of odd to really freaking weird, how weird is it that I’m out drinking alien liquor with my dad and his best bud who happens to be one of my best buds but both of them are from the 1940s and it's currently 2016?”

“I think,” said Bucky, pushing her glass away, “that you’re jumbling up your grammar and need some sleep.”

She nodded but made no move to leave. Instead, she curled up into Steve’s side, resting her head on his shoulder and dozing off the second her crown hit skin. Even Steve’s chuckles weren’t enough to rouse her.

“She’s got moxie, this one,” said Steve, his voice pitched low so as to not disturb her. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “You have a good kid, Buck.”

Bucky shook his head, a grunt of self-deprecation escaping his throat.

“Hardly,” he said. Feeling Steve’s eyes on him, he looked up and continued, “I’ve fucked her up more than anything.”

“I doubt that,” said Steve softly.

Meeting his gaze squarely, Bucky replied, “I almost killed her when she was three. She woke me up while I was having a nightmare and I almost gutted her like a fish. And that’s not mentioning HYDRA, or the moving around, or my apparent death. If anything, she’s a good kid in spite of me."

Before Steve could disagree, as Bucky could tell he vehemently wanted to, they were interrupted by Darcy. She jerked awake suddenly, hitting Steve’s chin with her forehead and nearly knocking him out as she did so. As Steve cursed loudly much to Bucky’s amusement, Darcy’s gaze zoned in on the bar.

“Did you hear that?” she asked, focused unwaveringly.

Bucky shook his head no.

“What is it?” he said, also turning to focus on the bar.

Nothing out of the ordinary was happening, just a few clusters of people here and there. One guy in a purple shirt was accepting a drink from the man he was chatting to, and another couple were sequestered in the corner between the bench and the wall. Everyone there seemed to be having a good time. The only thing of note was that the bartender, a heavyset woman with beautiful tatts running up her bronze arm, looked a little bit flustered from having to deal with so many people by herself.

He turned back to his daughter, eyebrow raised, but she wasn’t paying attention. Gaze still fixed on the bar, she was eyeing the man talking to the purple shirt girl with a familiar single-mindedness.

“Darcy,” he said slowly, yet she still acted as if she hadn’t heard him. Far more forcefully, he hissed, “Darya!”

“He’s going to put something into his drink, or he already has,” was all she said. Her body had gone stock-still, zeroed in on the object of her scrutiny. “I heard the scumbag talking about it. He’s having his friend distract the bartender so she won’t notice him.”

The stillness was infectious, it seemed. As Darcy relayed what she’d overheard, Bucky felt himself becoming rigid. That voice in the back of his head that he’d fought so long to control got just a bit louder. Next to him, Steve had stopped cursing and had gone quiet, also intent on watching the scene play out by the bar. And true to prediction, as soon as the purple shirt guy had turned around, his companion had leant around him and tipped something into his glass.

Instantly, Darcy was out of her seat and partway to the bar. The only thing holding her back was Bucky’s hand, a restraint on her arm with its metallic grip. Steve halted too, sending Bucky puzzled yet anxious looks that urged him to speed up his explanation.

“We are going to alert the bartender that this has happened,” said Bucky, quietly so as to not alert people around them. “She will call the police and while she does that, we will go and watch to make sure that that man is ok, and get him out of there.”

Both of them nodded in agreement, and with that in mind, Bucky sidled over to the bartender, waving her over with his most urgent “there is an issue” face. In a low voice, he relayed to her what he’d seen. Meanwhile, as her face went white and she fumbled for her phone, out of the corner of his eye, Bucky saw Steve and Darcy approach the couple at the bar. Whatever they said was too quiet for even him to pick up (though that may have been the music), but the expressions on their faces?

There was no way he could misunderstand that.

“Shit,” he cursed, launching himself across the bar in time for Darcy to take a swing.

From there, the fight wrapped up pretty quickly. Scumbag put up a shit fight and went down quickly. Then the scumbag’s friend took obvious offence to his friend being beat on by a girl, but then Steve was there. When body-checking him didn’t work, the tap he delivered to his head did – an effective knock that would leave the guy with a headache the next day.

Even so, the cops weren’t exactly thrilled with them. The time they spent in cuffs was shorter than usual, though, so that was a plus.

+ 1

Bucky didn’t like to admit it (mostly because it undermined the parental aura he purposefully exuded to command respect from his wayward child and to scare off potential threats), but while Darcy reminded him of Steve, a lot of the shit-stirring behaviour she had was inherited from him.

Out of necessity, he had become good at being the cautious friend. The one who pulled his mate out of strife whenever it occurred, who wiped up split lips and dragged Steve from the fray. The only reason he didn’t get into trouble as often as he could was mostly because he was too busy chasing after Steve and making sure he didn’t get beat to death to get involved in anything else. But before Steve?

Well, Winnie Barnes had some stories. And after that day, so would Darcy Lewis.

It was late, so late in fact that it was almost early, and they were walking back from the dive bar from the week before. That particular time, Steve had gotten more than a little drunk and became quite cuddly and weepy as a result, so Bucky had an arm slung around his shoulders to help him walk back. As usual, tipsy Darcy was more interested in waving around the bi flag she’d pinched from the bar and was no help with Steve, not that Bucky blamed her. Helping Steve walk was like accepting a ton of bricks onto your back.

“I love you, bud,” slurred Steve into Bucky’s jacket. “You’re the – the bestest.”

“Betterest,” corrected Darcy.

Steve nodded.

“Yeah, that. Betterest.”

“Oh boy,” Bucky sighed.

But only three blocks from the bar, they encountered the Problem™ of the night.

For once, it wasn’t Steve or Darcy starting shit. It was a group of rowdy, possibly-drunk men instead. The three were the kind that overdrank at sports events and got themselves kicked out of the stadium for racist remarks. Or beat their girlfriends because they weren’t quick enough to bring them sandwiches or something along those lines. They were the kind of drunk, angry men that Steve Rogers had spent his teen years standing up to, and so Bucky was surprised when he, not Steve, was the one that threw the first punch.

“How have you fags been tonight?” the one with a nose that looked like it had been punched one too many times called. No doubt someone who thought that calling out two very obviously buff men and a similarly muscly woman got punched in the face a lot. “Had fun sucking each other off?”

Despite being so inebriated that he could barely stand properly, Steve was conscious enough to flip them off, much to their amusement. Their laughter ringing in his ears, Bucky resolved to ignore them and sent Darcy a look warning her to do the same. It was really too bad that she didn’t listen.

“Why don’t you fuck off back to your jail cells, you homophobic pricks?”

Oh boy.

“The fuck did you just say, bitch?” shouted the second one. This one’s face was bright red like a tomato, but Bucky couldn’t tell whether it was from anger or from overeating. Then the man’s piggy eyes spotted the flag Darcy had tucked into her back pocket, and he let out a howl of laughter. “Well, well, a couple of fairies and a dyke! No wonder you’re such a cunt.”

Oh boyyyyy.

The uneasiness of the Winter Soldier, that uncomfortable rage he had spent so much of his time since HYDRA controlling and smothering, reared its head. He pushed it down, suffocating the flames with bullshit rationalities, and while he tackled his literal demons, the other men had moved closer.

“The fuck you just say, you disgusting fuck? How about you say that to my face when you don’t have all your little friends standing around?” Darcy retorted, almost falling over as she took what she no doubt thought was a threatening step towards them.

The men were still far enough away that Bucky and Co. could leave, but it was a close thing. Motioning for Darcy to stand down so that they could leave, Bucky hefted Steve up on his shoulder and started walking, trusting that his daughter would follow, which she did with only minimal grumbling.

“Where are you going, baby? Don’t you want a real man to show you a good time?” one of them called at their backs.

And then they said it.

To Darcy’s resounding no, another of them shouted, “You don’t have to want it for it to be good, I promise!”

One look at the well-concealed fear flickering in Darcy’s eyes was all Bucky needed.

In one moment he was transferring Steve over to Darcy’s capable hands, and in the next, he was throwing Pig Eyes into Cracked Nose and high kicking the third in the ribs. Pig Eyes jumped up for more almost immediately. Holding up his fists menacingly but feet arranged in a weak, indefensible position, it took less energy than Bucky expelled in waking up to dispatch the guy. Cracked Nose took one look at his friend and held up his hands for mercy.

Within seconds, the men lay groaning on the floor. Nursing their various bruises, they looked far more pitiful than they had before, and not at all likely to go for another round.

As became apparent quite quickly, though, someone had called the police when they’d seen the men have a go at Bucky’s family. All too inconveniently, those police turned up as Bucky doled out the last of his vengeance, and the cuffs they clapped on him made it clear that they weren’t exactly impressed.

Usually, Bucky wouldn’t be impressed with his own behaviour either. But when he caught sight of the ugly pricks as he was carted away, he couldn’t find it in himself to care all too much.

After all, less chihuahua-like than not, Bucky’s temper was also pretty maladjusted itself.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #darcy lewis #darcy lewis fanfiction #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #mcu #mcu fanfic #mine

[interestingarticlesforme]

Quick Guide to Digital Transformation and the Role of Data

This quick version of the Digital Transformation and the Role of Data Best Practice Guide provides marketers with a starting point for actioning digital transformation by building a data-led strategy.It looks at how data underpins modern businesses, the challenges it presents and what the future holds, covering:The role of data in the digital transformation journey, and the areas of business touched by data The two key business models that are powered by data and the pros and cons for each An introduction to the best data models and processes, and strategies for putting these into action Actions businesses can take to avoid the pitfalls when following a data-led strategy Where data and digital transformation will go next, and the capabilities this will present businesses. This Quick Guide draws from Econsultancy’s Digital Transformation and the Role of Data Best Practice Guide.

1. Introduction Technological advancement, human ingenuity and data – lots of it – underpins digital transformation. But what data should marketers collect? And how should it be structured?This abridged version of Econsultancy’s Digital Transformation and the Role of Data Best Practice Guide aims to help marketers better understand data within the wider scope of digital transformation, how data underpins modern businesses, the challenges it presents, best practice strategies and what the future holds.

2. How Data Powers Digital Transformation

2.1 What do we mean by digital transformation? Digital transformation is a journey undertaken to futureproof businesses. Its success is underpinned by people, technology, processes and data and often involves re-engineering and automating business processes and culture. The aim is to change at a timing and speed that allows the business to disrupt the market before it is disrupted by others.Data is one of the main ingredients to digital transformation. Digitised data points need to be housed in such a way that many business units may access and use the data at the same time. It is the accessibility, ‘query-ability’ and usability of data by many lines of businesses simultaneously that underpins transformational business changes.

2.2 The role of data Digital transformation is about enabling data usage for forward-facing projections – predicting or influencing the likelihood of something happening. Bringing datasets together can surface unexpected things not previously considered as opportunities or options.Companies need to capture data about customers and logistics, as well as peripheral, contextual data. For example, a single piece of financial transaction data needs to link to a customer, products purchased, method of purchase, delivery, the device used to make the purchase, time, date, place and much more. It must then be accessed across most business units simultaneously; sales, ecommerce and marketing should all be using the data to understand what drives long-term higher productivity and business impact.

2.2.1 The multi-storey building analogyA foundation determines how high, solid and robust a building will be. Imagine processed, cleaned and catalogued data as the strong foundation of a multi-storey building. Get the data right and unimaginable business heights can be built.However, data is evolving and not yet mature enough for companies to build upon. Data development is in the discovery phase. Emerging volumes of data lack the rigour to build upon. Marketers must construct the conceptual build and then source appropriate materials.

2.2.2 Marketers need to lead on data literacyData increasingly continues to determine who sees what, where, how and how often in marketing products and services. Data also underpins the design of better customer experiences and more personalised communication. Marketers must show how data-backed evidence-based knowledge and insights deliver business results.

2.2.3 The automated and the XXaaS business modelsThere are two key types of business models that are powered by data: the automated model and the XXaaS model. The automated model aims to drive down cost and improve on speed. XXaaS businesses aim to drive up value and so command a premium on services while also encouraging more time spent with the brand.Digital transformation often diminishes the middle-of-the-range brands which are neither efficient nor personalised enough for consumers to keep buying them. The challenge is the companies that have been first to adopt automated solutions, such as Amazon, grow exponentially into other sectors as their efficiencies have scale.If it is unclear what digital and transformation strategy the organisation should take, picking one of these models is a great starting point.

The automated model

Customers want things to be easier, cheaper and faster. Digitalisation delivers speed and efficiency, increases productivity and sales at scale, minimises human error and maximises choice combinations by automating capabilities as much as possible. However, the automated model requires a huge volume of data to use for modelling out predicted successes. Consumers win with the automated model through independent self-service, 24 hours a day. The data being collected through this process is used to fuel personalised communications.

The XXaaS (something as a service) model

The XXaaS digitalisation business model focuses on using data to create more value during a service experience. It is the opposite of the automated model, which enables independence.The ‘XX’ in XXaaS refers to an industry or offering. Many major industries are moving towards service models, including transport as a service, retail as a service, entertainment as a service, or even laundry as a service.Such models often entail consumers having access to something ‘as a service’ or an enhanced ‘serviced’ experience rather than outright ownership or self-service. The ease of experience, relevancy and high-touch nature of the service is appealing and may also remove perceived hassles.With the service model, consumers may not need to make an upfront investment in an asset purchase and all repairs and maintenance become part of the service cost, which might be a monthly subscription model or a per usage fee.The aim of XXaaS is to establish deeper customer relationships via the extensive, built-up history of relevant customer data including their engagement with the business, preferences and habits.

3. Why Data Fails Many companies are still in data discovery mode and have not reached data maturity. There is uncertainty and fear for some and a spirit of adventure for others. Ensuring data is used appropriately in the process of digital transformation is a continual work in progress.

3.1 Lack of strategy Less than 50% of companies have formal corporate data strategies documented for their data and analytics teams, even though it is key for delivering enterprise value.[1] Consumers usually only want to share data once. Without a data strategy, data collection is resource intensive, costly and can inhibit value-producing outcomes.

Organisations need strategies for what exactly they want to build from data. Once this is defined, the associated metadata can be designed and implemented.

3.2 Legacy data, systems, tools With legacy digitised systems, data has typically been purposely collected and housed in a very structured and restrained way for a specific (often singular) purpose. Businesses can find it hard to shut down or switch off redundant services. Strict centralised data governance can be like herding cats and requires a taskforce on its own if the business is sprawling with disparate data.

Organisations should get leadership buy-in, explaining the impact of not breaking contracts or decommissioning redundant data sources, systems and tools. Legacy siloed data ownership can break transformations as teams refuse to or cannot see benefits to digital transformation.

3.3 Data quality, hygiene and access A lot of data is captured with little structure or clarity on its business use. Often it is poorly formed, not granular, big or rich enough. A lack of harmonisation in data fields, labelling, metadata and structure will render most data nonsensical and incompatible with meeting the needs of the stakeholders and use cases.When it comes to data hygiene or integrity, painful amounts of time are spent by data engineers and data science teams doing repetitive manual cleaning work. Ideally, teams would have access to the original data source – though this may be difficult.

Attention to detail is crucial, as well as clear guidance on use cases for data collection.[2]

3.4 Misunderstanding software capabilities Visualisation software is a great case in point. It is often, incorrectly, thought of as an analytics platform; visualisation software can filter data, but it cannot calculate or compute it. This distinction often leads to marketers being wooed by visualisation solutions and onboarding them, only to realise internal data is in no state to be visualised.

Visualisation software needs to be paired with systems and tools that can manage the computations before loading.[3]

3.5 Leadership and decision making Data decisions are often micro-decisions with major implications. Not getting the small decisions right can cause long-term implications.Seeking perfection in data can lead to inaction. Having too much data can also cause decision-making paralysis. If a business culture is extremely risk adverse, choices can feel like risks.

In order to succeed in their digital transformation, businesses must unlock decision-making bottlenecks. C-suite buy-in, skillsets and datasets all need to align. Clear awareness on who owns the decision-making responsibility can greatly speed up productivity as teams fall in line with defined roles and aid decision making rather than lobbying for their own position to be agreed upon.

4. Best Practice Data Models and Processes

4.1 The Data-as-a-Service (DaaS) Transformation Model Transforming data so that it can be used by many teams, systems and processes simultaneously, for a multitude of business uses and outcomes, involves a democratisation of data access.The Data-as-a-Service (DaaS) Transformation Model explains the step-by-step journey to democratising data for multipurpose. The building blocks allowing deployment of the model are:

1. Data sitting in business silos (lines of business data)

2. Breaking down the data (data transformation)

3. Making the data accessible, regardless of where it is stored so it can be blended with other data including second- and third-party data (DaaS)

4. Systems and tools that are used for internal as well as external data

5. The strategic outcomes from the process leading to business solutions being built like a skyscraper (digital transformation)Some of these steps have been covered in previous sections. This section will explore step 4 (systems and tools) in more detail.For a step-by-step outline, details on what it is like to experience the process as a business stakeholder, case studies and illustrations, see Econsultancy’s Digital Transformation and the Role of Data Best Practice Guide.

4.1.1 Selecting and using systems and tools: best practice

Understand internal business data

When selecting systems and tools to aid digital transformation, knowing internal business data is key. If necessary, lean on vendor expertise to determine what value can be extracted from data. Most reputable vendors allow test drives, proof of concept tests and, under non-disclosure agreements, a look at capabilities with live data. Consider how many vendors, tech platforms, or service and data providers are needed. The right cultural fit into a wider ecosystem also needs to be explored in depth.

Know who owns what data

Investments in digital transformation systems and tools should focus on whether the data inputs are first-, second- or third-party data sources. Building and procuring solutions with first-party data inputs gives the business better control over the course of its transformation and future costs of enhancements and iterations.

External data, systems and tools The further away an organisation is from controlling data as the primary owner, the less time should be spent on customising solutions internally and building expensive infrastructure around the data. Minimise multiple dependencies on data that the business has limited control over as the knock-on effect to losing the data source can be substantial. Focus on data with clear use cases and quantifiable business outcomes to justify investing in second- and third-party data sources. Plan alternative sources of data if the future growth potential for the business warrants such investments.

Internal data, systems and tools If software and tools are not part of the core business competencies, then partnering, subscribing or renting is advised. When buying in solutions, ensure that they come with ongoing upgrade support and the scope for product enhancements and customisation. Equally, the system and tool providers need to fully audit the data and understand it to appropriately help with onboarding, scaling and cost control.

Decide where to start

Start with data controlled by the business and work outwards. Marketers should start with knowing the use case for data and then work backwards from that. Having data sources with common data points that match with internal sources is a key advantage, allowing companies to assess what incremental value the new data sources, systems and tools will add to the business before onboarding them.

Centralise data taxonomy and governance and simplify access

Data taxonomies, data architecture and management require strict compliance frameworks so that data engineers and data science teams can work with and build models upon clean data, within the law. Lines of business metadata should be designed and detailed enough to support changes in those lines of business. Data extraction, data appending and classifications are increasingly automated, as cataloguing by humans is simply too slow and not exhaustive enough. Enterprise data management strategies are required to enable metadata automation and the creation of innovative metadata details and cannot be avoided if businesses are working globally and in many languages.

Make data ownership a centralised track with clear stakeholders

Data will eventually have many users; assigning one impartial data owner who is accountable to many stakeholders and their requirements is advised. Marketers as champions or stakeholders need to be actively involved decision makers with the responsibility of focusing on the business aim and how well it is translated into the strategy and design of the data collection. Having senior business sponsors for data initiatives that tie into bigger transformation plans, as well as clear KPIs around well-rounded goals, helps with business buy-in and can instil discipline needed to stay on track.

Communicate purpose, benefit and strategic outcomes to staff

Educating staff on how data can help them, how to use it and what insights can be derived to aid better work outcomes, will take goal setting and time to implement. Being aware of the current data literacy among staff will help manage expectation from the start. The 6 PsThe 6P framework should be considered when planning a transformation. It can be used alongside those of the IT and product teams, who will have detailed frameworks specific to data schema, taxonomies, infrastructure and operating models:

1. PURPOSE: understand the business focal point today

2. PLAN: map out strategies to make them tangible

3. PROCESS: build frameworks to execute decisions

4. PEOPLE: set expectations

5. PARTNERS: hire vendors to work with

6. PILLARS: ask the right questions to understand more

5. What is Next for Data and Digital Transformation? Exponential volumes of data will continue to be created in the foreseeable future. The aim will be to make data simpler, more meaningful and accessible to all parts of the business.The Fourth Industrial Revolution[4] is advancing, as organisations start to work with artificial intelligence to replicate human-like capabilities and emotional intelligence. Detecting mood, tone, feelings and more subjective data points will be the next evolution and revolution.

5.1 Data growth areas

Natural language programming (NLP)

NLP data is generated by and about people and their thoughts, feelings and communications. While text is being codified, digital transformation data will evolve into data covering human relationships and wellbeing.

Signal data

Signal data is sensor data from any kind of item that can send data from one location to another, such as from fabrics and clothing, to rooms, surfaces, cars and devices. The collection and analysis of biodata – signal data generated by wearables, for example – is expected to enable the development of game-changing solutions in healthcare.

Biometric data

Biometric data can include facial encoding, fingerprints, iris scans, voice data, DNA and biodata.  Coupled with personally identifiable data, it can create a very powerful dataset which is transforming governments, corporations and people – and raising ethical concerns on appropriate usage.

Surveillance data

Surveillance data can be as simple as capturing data at regular intervals or in a systematic way through to enterprise level, 24/7 video and image monitoring. This data might allow marketers to audit stock placements, sales and competitors in innovative ways. For example, by taking photos of shelves in stores, promotions or sales receipts, and digitising, decoding and analysing what is happening at point of sale, marketers can move into near real-time data decision-making capabilities.

5.2 Future marketing with data Influencing a buying journey which is part-human and part-machine will be the new paradigm. Marketing skills will need to adapt to changing buyer behaviours and machine-enhanced capabilities. Marketers will need to understand how smart voice command devices make decisions and then find ways to make the voice output choose the brands they represent. Being open, agile and continuing to learn will be key to the ability to thrive.6.

Key Takeaways Marketers must understand the main characteristics of data: its quality, its purpose and its context.

Data transformation is a human journey:Humans transform data for human purposes. Data must be electronic and ideally collected for many uses from the start. Mindsets, skillsets and datasets within an organisation all need to align. Successful journeys start from top down; leadership and culture are paramount.

Data management needs a higher level of rigour:Data architecture, governance, policies and strict metadata management must be set. There must be considerations of privacy and ethics as more personal or biological data is collected. Having an operating model in place for all vendors to work together speeds up productivity.

Digital transformation shows no signs of plateauing:Data science roles and functions will continue to evolve as technology advances. A diversified team needs to collaborate and so good communication is vital. The DaaS model is a tool to help explain the transformation process for data as well as the human impact of data transformation. As laws evolve, businesses will need to react quickly to legal changes. Being digitalised, businesses can pivot and respond more readily.

There are many time-saving tips that can help guide marketers through data transformation. However, these are likely to continue evolving. Keep learning, while leaning on strong foundations and networks. Further reading

Econsultancy | Digital Transformation and the Role of Data Best Practice Guide https://econsultancy.com/reports/digital-transformation-and-the-role-of-data/

Econsultancy | The Fundamentals of Marketing Measurement and Analytics https://econsultancy.com/reports/the-fundamentals-of-marketing-measurement-and-analytics/

Econsultancy | AI, Machine Learning and Predictive Analytics Best Practice Guide https://econsultancy.com/reports/ai-machine-learning-and-predictive-analytics-best-practice-guide/

Econsultancy | Customer Journey Mapping Best Practice Guide https://econsultancy.com/reports/customer-journey-mapping-best-practice-guide/

Econsultancy | Measuring Digital Marketing Effectiveness Best Practice Guide https://econsultancy.com/reports/measuring-digital-marketing-effectiveness-best-practice-guide/

Econsultancy | Digital Transformation Monthly https://econsultancy.com/digital-transformation/