#how i often feel tbh

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

queer signalling: louis and harry living their beautiful queer lives, collected by me

since we must take note of our fellow queers when they signal that they are very much one of us, despite being closeted. since i've had a very very queer few years thanks to them, thanks to their signalling, thanks to them being brave.

(!! this list isn't exhaustive, and if i've forgotten your favorite, by all means let me know. there's always room for another edition. it's been a while since i made a compilation and felt there was a need of a new one on my blog. this one goes a few years back, since my last one dates from 2021 :'o. so yeah. here we go.)

harry in my policeman, playing a closeted queer man, based on the book that's long been one of his favorites. lauded by the director and co-stars for how well he portrayed this character, how well he understood.

harry wearing a green flower on his chest for the mp premiere, placing himself (once again) in the same line of history as oscar wilde.

louis's green flowers on his initial 28clothing jersey at the first afhf, which includes bonus roses and 28s all around

the entire late night talking mv bc!!!!!

louis's rainbow stage lights during sibwawc. he really did that. every single night.

the entire dazed magazine happening. “I’ve always tried to compartmentalise my personal life and my working life,” he explains. / “I have unlocked an ability to be myself completely, unapologetically,” he says with conviction." / “I think through my own sense of self and personal journey, I am realising that happiness isn’t this kind of end state.”

louis's gay exit songs: most notably 'ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've)'

harry flirting with stanley tucci

louis and his gay ass tank tops !!! we must point it out !!!!!!

all along

harry kissing a pride flag during harry's house ono in nyc

rainbow flare during the btm mv

harry being gifted a mask of his own face at munich n2, which prompted him to say that he feels like he's wearing a mask sometimes

28 in a triangle for 28clothing!!!!!!!!

kit connor soft launching 28 clothing. a young actor starring in a queer coming-of-age series, who was forced to come out after being accused of queerbaiting. he was the first one, besides louis, to wear 28clothing

harry's grammy's speech "people like me" (which ppl sadly misunderstood), echoing what he's been saying on tour for years. this doesn't happen to people like him. if they only knew, right?

harry's freddie-inspired outfit for the grammy carpet (which also brought back his theme for clown/jester fits, like harryween 2021 n2. wonder why)

louis's merch graphic where a boy is trying to smash a glass ceiling

harry posing for david hockney, actual living legend, gay artist of the ages. "Styles seems to know how lucky he is, adding, with a tinge of disbelief: “I’m in awe of the man with enough one-liners for a lifetime.” As to what those one-liners might be? Styles and Hockney’s mutual silence on that question suggests that what happens in the studio, stays in the studio."

louis having suspicious visuals during back to you, the only visuals of that type on tour

harry's 2022 harryween outfit: dressed as danny (literally. he did that. he went grease on us.) but wearing sandy's jacket

louis at barricade aka held safely in the arms of strong security personnel

harry singing man, i feel like a woman and still the one with shania twain. while wearing a rainbow discoball jumpsuit (parallel with kacey musgraves wearing a rainbow dress to sing it with him years ago.)

louis's gay ass merch for the away from home festival

harry dressed in nina ricci by harris reed, an explicitly gender-fluid line. "At 18 I found myself living in london creating ruffle blouses, corsets, fabric flowers and flares from my kitchen floor (...). My creations at the time were met with nothing but criticism for being “too feminine” or “costume”, teachers said I should focus on “menswear” or “womenswear”. l remember it really wasn’t until I started dressing for myself and who I was that it all clicked. @harrystyles was my first ever client who embraced the fun, fluid and expressive clothing I was creating."

continuous bluegreening. to name a few: harry's werchter fit, all this time lights, satellite caps in two colors only, louis's smiley flickering bluegreen on tour in 2022, the james cordon shit, louis in uncasville. enjoy this post here

harry's snl shoot unseens: him as ariel

louis out in amsterdam at a gay bar

harry going to the women's only swimming pond (on a day it was open for men, but this is important to me okay)

harry's use of orchids in his visuals during 'she' during love on tour '23

the 'hairy mermaid' tour visuals

harry as a mermaid during the mfasr mv. as a supreme physical manifestation of harry as the mermaid he truly is inside. but in his true form he gets chopped up and consumed. literally

as it was mv and its parallels with the matrix, hints to harry as the woman with the red dress.

louis jumping up on barricade against the one spot where a pride flag was draped over it

oh yeah that exact same thing happened in 2022 too

harry forming a skirt with a pride flag in brasil after his pants ripped

that gay ass denim getup with the fur collar?? while wearing the fucking peace ring????

harry and phoebe breaking gender norms in the tpwk mv dance. no i'm not over it yet shut up

louis wearing a basquiat t-shirt, another famously queer artist joining the ranks

harry bought an actual genuine basquiat. flex

harry dressed in skirts for gucci

"happy pride! happy pride! 'tis the season! can you tell i'm relaxed?"

"isn't all of this sparkly bi music?"

satellite mv rainbow planet tshirt

louis's bigger than me promo where he's literally george michael like??? IM SORRY???????

harry kissing lewis capaldi at the brits

harry kissing nick kroll at the dwd premiere. lol

and... harry as friend of D O R O T H Y. sang over the rainbow. we all cried. especially me at this clip of harry glancing in relief at his band after over the rainbow.

#queer signalling #my posts #long post #anyways............. hmu if you have more bc i know there's more that i've forgotten but i didn't want to wait #but these were my personal highlights #this is for me more than anyone i know. i don't really know if anyone's really waiting on this #but i personally have been feeling like i gloss over a lot #and forget a lot #and minimise a lot for fear of making a big thing out of something small #but... then i make big things into something small. #which i hate #going through my archive just shows how fast an event passes by and i just stopped talking about it #ive complained about this many a time i know #anygays #for whoever wants to come scream with me <3 #also i have left out some events that were too easily deniable and i didn't want to clutter the post #since what's actual tangibly real and straight from them is so insane already #also that gif is how i feel rn. #how i often feel tbh #i want to be braver again

[isot1ne]

i like to think goth is a gender in of itself

#goth #gothgoth #gothic #gender #gothgender #i usually just go by nonbinary but gothgender resonates quite a bit tbh #and there is something to be said about the overlap between the trans community and the goth community #and especially with how goth often rejects typical gender norms #idk there's definitely an essay to be written here but im not good at articulating my thoughts #but i dont really get dysphoria from looking more feminine or masculine the way i do if i feel like i look too preppy #and being able to be goth feels like its improved my mental health #idk tho im just someone on the internet throwing words at a wall

[sunburstkisser]

To selfshippers who constantly change your self inserts; IT'S OKAY!! Just because you change your sona, tweak their design, shift their species, swap their clothing, completely redo them from the ground up, that doesn't mean you're indecisive or some other mean-sounding word. You're just exploring what fits you, and your FO(s), best.

There's nothing wrong with feeling fickle over a design for your self insert, I don't think anyone has ever made any kind of original character and stuck with their design forever. Designs change and grow as you change and grow, and that's beautiful to me :] Don't feel bad that you change your self insert the second an idea strikes, or inspiration smacks you upside the head, you can change your self insert however you'd like and whenever you'd like!

[Pr*shippers and the like; do NOT touch. This is not for you, and never will be for you. You can disrespectfully fuck off.]

#talking ! 💫 #self ship #self insert #self shipping #self inserting #selfship #selfinsert #selfshipping #selfinserting #safe ship #safeship #safe shipping #safeshipping #self ship positivity #self insert positivity #positivity #Feel free to ignore the following; #If you follow me then you KNOW how often I go through mlp self inserts jkghfj #I bet you could find a minimum of five different mlp creatures on this blog that I have used to represent myself 😭 #And tbh I don't think I'll stick with one forever! By the time I'm on T I'm sure my sona will be someone other than Night Bright!

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

not me immediately getting jude from this

who did you guys get? 👀

#idk any of them i just see jude around a lot so it made me chuckle #@/judejazza and their wonderful posts i often run into #victor is apparently my opposite from these options and elbert is my 2nd choice or smth #(friends and i usually do 'quizzes' 3x to get our main/secondary/opposite) #anyway im just snooping around now. still not sure how i feel abt it but was never too tempted for ikevil. #the less gacha in my life atp the better ngl ;;;;;;;; its why ive stayed away from most of the new games and tryna limit current ones #though if they ever do finally drop ikegen (unlikely asf) ..... count my ass in #i can't even be mad ikepri dropped bc ive enjoyed it so much more than i ever thought i would. easily my fav or 2nd fav bc ikerev #i still adore ikerev and magic and the world building and everything.. alice is just pretty dumb sometimes #which is why i adore b&tb-esque belle/emma so much. also why i like mai in some routes (ikesen humor op) #ikevamp has always just kinda been there tbh. usually the events feel more interesting than the routes ngl;;; charas are fun tho #anyway let's see how this bad boy goes #who did y'all get?? #ikevil #ikemen villains #my post 📫 #aerin.jpg #from the official ig acct btw

[lunarharp]

being attached to that moment qifrey held a baby one time and my ideas for the future :)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #brief small post before i return to Real and Emotional things again...but tbh...this makes me feel real emotions too #i think the manga will end up with a epilogue chapter showcasing little things in the girls' future and orufrey holding hands or kissing... #to like Indicate things. if it doesn't happen beforehand. #But. Who. Knows. also then i suddenly started thinking about them raising a baby for ages today because of how narratively poignant it'd be #for things to end that way after having raised almost-daughters all those years. and how healing it could be for qifrey and etc. #thing i said on twt: girls visit so often that the kid's first words are Professor Olly #“deja vu.. i'm not your professor kid - i'm your father!” #sorry but they are literally a gay couple where one truly is like The Mom and one truly is The Dad. to me #i think a housewifey homemaker type lifestyle would make qifrey happy. be harder now that he's disabled - well that's why he has his man. #i dont normally care about stuff like fankids or whatever..characters becoming parents for real..but like..Come on #This is the couple to think about this with.....they already ARE parents..i want them to be happy for eternity #once all the horrors are over we have to make it there.....children are so precious families are so precious.... #i have bad relationship with parents personally and haven't interacted with children in years. And yet i still know that. #the fact that orufrey fight for children to be safe and educated and happy...qif wants to help coustas too.. #aaaanyway today was a pretty weird and difficult day so i deserved to think about happy futures for a bit. i hear it's possible #btw i'm most sure about tetia becoming the princess of zozah. i think that will happen. and riche should have the ribbon tassel.

[welcometogrouchland]

I just think Hunter was obsessed with Willow and didn't even know it during the period from any sport in a storm to labyrinth runners. They maybe don't talk as often as they could, they're both busy and have conflicting schedules, so when they do talk, Hunter absorbs everything she says.

After roughly 3 weeks of texting (hexting? I feel like the kids would call it hexting), He knows that her favorite colour is orange, she likes her tea with extra milk and a bit of honey during winter, she likes working out to the noisiest angriest music in her playlist, her dad Gilbert is a construction witch who specialises in pottery, she used to listen to breakup songs and think about her childhood best friend (Hunter doesn't know it's Amity) and she actually has a mild pollen allergy despite being a plant witch and has to take potions for it.

He casually drops all this info piece by piece during their stay in the human realm and willows like. Well I can't not marry him. It'll have to be a winter or fall wedding to account for her allergies </3

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #hunter toh #willow park #huntlow #Hunter is often ignored and hides and compartmentalizes his identity in order to survive and be respected = his love language is listening #he doesn't just go quiet around Willow bc he's shy (tho that's definitely a factor) he's also like wow everything you say is amazing #i want to listen to you 24/7 #(Willow realizes this and thinks back to how often she was ignored and isolated- #-and how it made her feel worthless and she's like. i must make him my bride) #i haven't rewatched in a while so i can't exactly tell how much of this is self indulgent and how much is like. actually character accurate #it's in limbo but it feels true to me #we don't know the details of their text exchanges beyond him sending her (presumably) a cute pic of flapjack #I've seen ppl argue that they didn't talk much over text bc she's slightly suspicious of him at first in labyrinth runners #but tbh I've always chalked that up to the general mindfuckery going on at hexside at that time #ergo she couldn't immediately trust that this was actually Hunter until he mentioned something specific about Gus #so i like to imagine it was semi-frequent chatting but i payed lip service to the idea that it wasn't super duper close #playing both sides so I always win etc etc #this is really just a covert way of babbling my willow headcanons

[attleboy]

found out pomni has a page on the sexypedia and i feel... called out

#“many fan works” SHUT UPPPPPPPPP #tbh i often worry about the effect my chompni stuff has had on fanon... if i think about it too hard it's gonna drive me to drink /j #ik i'm not the only person doing it. but i feel like i've made a sizable impact with it and idk how to feel about that #like oh god am i a part of the fandom collective consciousness #i need to go hide under a rock and never return #i joke. kind of #me chat.

[rave-lord-nito]

For being something that you use for maybe 10 minutes in the early game, the skyrim iron helmet sure has had a lasting cultural legacy

#skyrim #like i know it was because it was in the trailers #but it truly is like 90% of depictions of 'skyrim dude' that has that helmet #ask yourself; how often do you actually use it? #tbh this might just be a me thing #but i like playing warriors in skyrim so i feel i would have worn it more #TES #Elder Scrolls

[skitskatdacat63]

2012 Malaysian Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel & Fernando Alonso

#it is like always palable shock whenever i notice how significant their height dif is #by significant i mean theyre both small to me so seeing that seb is actually noticeably taller is so ????????? #logically i know hes taller but still. it doesnt feel right #it just is not noticeable usually bcs theyre both often around taller men so to see proof of it breaks me #okay about these. they seemed pretty friendly with each other in early 2012 ngl 🥺 #its one thing being friendly when youre on a podium or something bcs its courtesy even if theres tension imo #but them walking together randomly hehehehe 🤭🤭🤭 #i wonder what they were talking about. i think they were prob going to the drivers meeting tbh #aaahh also there were other pics(but imago watermark ugh) and theyre just walking so close...pressed shoulder to shoulder #EEEEEEEEE seb always looks so pleased and happy and giggly to be talking to him #every day a catie in your area gets taken over by looking through vettonso pics. it is truly an epidemic. #you can only save her by talking to her about vettonso. ...might make it worse though. #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #2012 malaysian gp #I LOVE MALAYSIAN GP SO MUCH BRING IT BACK ALL MY FAV PICS ARE FROM SEPANG AAAGAHHHH

[saetoru]

i think taking a break from writing smut for like almost a year has been rly refreshing bc i think it made me stop questioning if my writing is interesting without sex and just write it how i want. and then tbh a part of me has realized i like writing without the sex half the time. it’s nice. it’s fun to explore intimacy in as many non sexual ways as you can

#not that i don’t like writing smut #bc tbh sometimes u just have to write gojo cumming #to feel fulfilled #but #yeah idk #dipping my toes back into sm.ut has been a journey #bc on one hand i actually didn’t like it at all when i started writing it again #i was like bro how did i write this so often #this sucks ass i will go back to sfw fluff cuteness #but then i slowly got back into the swing of things #and now it’s like #ok yeah i did miss this a bit #but i think if anything #the break was good for me it made me #overall more confident in my writing and it’s ability to compel / draw in an audience without sex appeal #but also just have more plot based development #which is why i’m so happy w that post canon geto fic #bc me of a year ago #could never fathom writing 10k words of no smut #yeah anyway ramble over #but that being said #ima till write pure filth for october LMAO

[gizmothorne-art]

Vamptember Day 3; Dream

You are in death as you were in life-- bittersweet

#vamptember #vampire chronicles #the vampire lestat #lestat de lioncourt #nicolas de lenfent #the caption can be about either nicki or the witch's place tbh #idr how the witchs place is described exactly in the book but i always imagined it as a circle of stumps to some degree #i feel like lestat would dream about it often tho; specifically the time he spent there with nicki #recontextualize it as a place of joy rather than fear; still with a pinch of sorrow #mine #fandom #tvc #showcase #framed

[itspileofgoodthings]

my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.

#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all #which. again. is false #but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept #and like. It’s FINE #but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony #and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom #unable to move or function #I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing #but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully #like an unseen wound #and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people #is one of the most painful things #just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them #and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning #and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb! #tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams #or impetus or forward motion or anything #because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy #so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE #actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it #when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions #that’s the problem #anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.

[mummer]

whats fun about barry as a protagonist vs other Morally Complicated Guy Shows is that he seriously has no ambition lol, his wildest dreams arent like becoming super rich or relishing in holding power over people, like all he wants is simple happiness, maybe career success, normal life stuff, his wildest dreams are like…. being able to have a wedding. having a kid or two. and theres something reasonable about that, it makes him relatable for a while until the show is very clearly like No dude, that is a fucking serial killer, you should not gaf! and you’re like oh right lol. it’s crazy to make such a simple desire seem so malicious but still human

#like the true success of the show is that he feels just as entitled as walter white even though what he wants is so much smaller #L + serial killer + you’re a war criminal + you’re abusive + kys #barry #but i think it threads the line a little where by s5 of brba i had 0 care for walt i did not feel any emotional attachment #and tbh by the end i didnt even find the whole corruption arc interesting because he was just so painfully malignant and annoying #but barry wants sooooo little. and he’s sooooo stupid. and hes soooo arrested development 15 year old boy #that it still manages to be compelling and he still manages to feel like a human being #not a knock on brba which is incredible television obviously just doing different stuff #idk. something about how it’s tragic but also held at an appropriate distance so as to be laughed at too #like: the irremovable mark doing violence leaves on you.. the inescapability of it… IS sad! it’s sad #and most often IS the result of social conditioning and masculinity constructs and your dads friend grooming you etc #but it’s not the prime sadness. which would be of course the victims of that violence #like. duh #walter my reaction is just. Well i wouldnt do that. I would never choose to do that so who cares #but with barry. all he wants is to not be defined by the hurt he has caused. which is something everybody wants! #but the extents of that hurt are so extreme and are teased apart so well in the show. like theres 0 apologia just exploration #anyway if im doing brba comparisons barry is literally todd

[museenkuss]

loving and moving my body this week (06.11.-12.11.)*

Monday. 20 MIN EVENING PILATES TO RELAX AND FEEL CALM - EASY AT HOME WORKOUT

Tuesday. Beginners Belly Dance Tutorial | Beautiful Hips & Arms!

Wednesday. Everyday Pilates Mobility and Stretch | Posture, Hips and Hamstrings

Thursday. Victoria's Secret Train Like An Angel Live: Martha Hunt + Ballet Beautiful

Friday. 20 MIN FULL BODY PILATES WORKOUT FOR BEGINNERS - AT HOME PILATES or Waistline Shimmy | Belly Dance Workout

Saturday. 30 MIN FULL BODY PILATES WORKOUT FOR EVERYBODY - AT HOME PILATES

Sunday. "Chocoholics" Valentine's Day Waist Winding Workout

__

* the idea here was to find fun little ways to stay active according to my schedule this week. This is completely 'no suffering, joy only'. :)

In case the suggestion doesn't feel right for that day, here are some alternatives (12 minutes or less, can also be used as add-ons). No shame in taking it slow! Let's move according to our needs! :) nightime flexibility stretches // bedtime yoga stretch to release stress & tension // 8 min beginner's ballet flexibility. // 10 min | Beginner Belly Dance Workout | Slow & Smooth Tutorial // 15 min Gentle Pilates Workout For Beginners

#my personal highlights for this week are - well. most of them tbh. #the Saturday one is new and I don't think I've done 30 minutes with Isa before? that's exciting. #I'm also really looking forwards to the Victoria's Secret Angel one. I've been meaning to try those videos for SO long and never did #so this is my excuse to finally do it! <3 I'm excited. If it's too hard I'll most likely add it again a few times #like the waist shimmy vid! I thought I might add it in the evening during the second half of the week whenever I feel like it #we'll see how often I really end up doing it hah. #but I also wanted to add something new so I put a new one on Tuesday. exciting!!! #I really liked Lottie's energy - I tried her for the first time last week and liked it a lot! she explains things very well imo. #I'm excited about Wednesday's stretching one in particular because i've been MEANING to add more stretching to my routine #and oooooh I'm pumped for Sunday again!!! I remember doing this one a WHILE back and I just love Tiffany #I feel like she's perfect for sundays with her high energy dancer sensuality and this looks so fun!! #I try to balance new things / dancing / pilates -- relaxation / energy #Museenkuss #Workout

[kaeyapilled]

kid kaeya sitting quietly on a pew during mass in the favonius church feeling so distinctly alienated from everyone else in there that it borders on despairing

#yknow? #what are our thoughts on how religious the ragnvindr family was btw i need to know what you think #i cant picture them going to church super often. ljke take jeans family for comparison they were definitely in there more frequently #but yknow maybe every sunday? or every special occasion. do mondstadtian holidays include mass too #unclear tbh all of the ones we know about just include day drinking and singing #but there HAS to be more solemn/serious holidays. where youre supposed to go to church #they're catholic coded after all #barbatos died in the cross for our sins etc. ok enough. can you imagine though #Is Venti/Barbatos Jesus-Coded? #this was NOT MY ORIGINAL POINT uhhhhh #yeah kaeya and the gods man. kaeya and religion #kaeyaposting #kaeya alberich #my posts #this post is projection but only mildly because kaeya has such worse relationship to going to church #like im normal about it i just remember sitting in church camp while everyone was having a Moment With God and thinking #(not feeling god's presence at all) Man ... what the hell am i doing here..

[thedreadvampy]

btw about Neil Gaiman I periodically agree with the 'Neil Gaiman is annoying' stuff bc I feel like both he and Amanda Palmer seem like people who I would go insane stuck in a room with bc we have very different ideas about art and suchlike. and I also do think that the career trajectory he's on lately is cynically redoing his greatest hits and pretending that was the dream all along when it clearly was not. which is at best meh.

having said which

as far as I can tell by far the most common complaint about Neil Gaiman is "Snow, Glass, Apples is problematic/gross/it's got incest and rape and frames the child as the aggressor"

which strikes me as a weird complaint to pull out of a 40 year body of work tbh when that short story is pretty clearly coming from a place of 'how far can I push this'. like you don't have to like the story. I don't really like the story. but it is. a horror story.

like and this is the thing with particularly 90s alt horror right? a lot of the interest is in transgression and sitting in the worst possible perspective and seeing what happens if you pull those strings. like I really like Clive Barker for example but there's a good chunk of his short stories that I'm like I'm not picking up what you're putting down Clive this seems Kinda Off. but that willingness to write some trite or Bad Message horror fiction that doesn't land is imo a side effect of being willing to try writing uncomfortable and unpleasant fiction at all. which is what horror is for, among other things, it's for creating discomfort as a form of catharsis or engagement.

like I am not a huge fan of the type of sex-horror that pops up in a lot of Gaiman's work and other contemporary horror writers - to me I don't find it upsetting or horny it just ends up feeling kind of edgy and tryhard - but I'm also a bit like. it does seem like a lot of people's beef with Neil Gaiman is that In The 90s He Was A Horror Writer

and this approach to Problematic Horror in Snow, Glass, Apples I find kind of microcosmic of how The Discourse often approaches art in this kind of 1:1 way. if you write a story which seems to line up with rape apologia it can only be because you agree with it. if you write a story about transphobia you're a transphobe. if you write a story that makes me genuinely uncomfortable you're attacking me.

but artwork, especially art like horror that's not necessarily trying to provoke enjoyment as its main response, is necessarily hit and miss. and if what you're shooting for is discomfort then whether it works, falls flat or goes too far incredibly depends on your audience. and making good art - as in art that makes its audience think, art that opens the audience up to discomfort and catharsis and sticks with them and changes them - requires the space to experiment and tbh the space to fuck up. like they aren't all going to be winners and they certainly aren't all going to work for you as a singular audience.

personally I don't see the appeal of Snow, Glass, Apples, less cause it's nasty and more cause it's hack. ooh an edgy monstrous version of a fairy tale where there's lots of rape and cannibalism? you're soooo original Neil. but like. that's fine. I don't really vibe with like 70% of Neil Gaiman stuff I've read but I still like Neil Gaiman because the stuff that works for me really works for me.

idk I think there's a lot of folk on this website who shouldn't interact with horror cause they clearly aren't interested in being horrified. that's not everyone who dislikes Snow, Glass, Apples, but it's a real undercurrent to a lot of the criticism and tbh this kinda vibe is shit for art. making standout art What Is Good also requires being ready to make art which stands out for the wrong reasons. sometimes they'll be the same art to different people.

#red said #not to Cancel Culture this but isabelle fall springs to mind in a lot of how folks talk about stuff like this #like she wrote a transgressive piece exploring her own negative feelings about transness and her anger around a transphobic trope #and she made something which i found really resonant and interesting #and she got torn apart for it because it Might From Some Angles Agree With Transphobia #and I'm not making a direct comparison. because i think attack helicopter is a really GOOD story and i think SGA is gratuitous and hack #but that's the thing right? transgression and discomfort and speaking about unpleasant things in an openended way are KEY #to making art that engages directly with your own pains and angers and discomforts #and that's hard to mediate tbh. but it's also very necessary. #i think as well thinking about Gaiman this is also a thought I've often had about Amanda Palmer #who over the years has written a lot of songs about things i find genuinely uncomfortable or offensive. #and i can engage with 'it's fucked up to tell your ex they transed their gender At You' or 'your partner's suicide is not about you' bc yeah #but #you can't celebrate someone for making confessional music then get mad because you don't like everything they confess #if you only take about your socially acceptable thoughts it's not really confessional is it? #if you only talk about discomforting things that people are comfortable hearing about its not really discomforting #and you can only really discern what's Good Transgressive and what's Damaging Transgressive through doing i think #so if you want challenging art you are going to have to get some art which challenges you and you go hmm no i still disagree #is what i think #so yeah you can hate the artwork but when an artist is specifically setting out to make challenging art it's weird to hate them #for making 50 pieces of art you like and 1 you hate