#blonde buff dilf

[meat-wentz]

pics of pete that make u wanna bend him over the nearest surface

#pete wentz #fall out boy #fob #you are not immune to pete wentz #no one is #he has a charm about him that is indescribable #ALSO OKAY NOTABLY LACKING: #more novena/arma angelus/2002 pete with the earrings #red 2004 buzzcut #pink dye job #blonde buff dilf #long haired tennis star #ask #anon

[enkas-illusion]

The Night Is Still Young

Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Nanami x f!reader

Rating: 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Genre/Theme: One-night stand; non-sorcery au

Content warning: fluff, drinking, flirting, Nanami got rizz, suggestive, no smut.

Summary: You are exhausted from working the entire month and you need some stress relief. What's better than finding a gentleman at the club and things take a turn for good.

Author's Note: This was supposed to contain smut but I really hit writer's block. So here's a quick drabble with my husband Nanami. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy it!

~ Nanami's Munchkin

“Shots! Shots! Shots!”

You shoot down the 6th shot of the night, the bitter liquid no longer tastes so bad anymore but the buzz keeps getting stronger.

It’s another Saturday and your plan was to stay home, sulking for the weekend but your friends had other plans.

You had just submitted your assignments and were exhausted beyond repair. Your friends were kind enough to give you an option (not really) between staying home and drinking your exhaustion away only to feel worse the next day – of course, you had to choose the latter.

“You know what would have been better than getting shitfaced tonight?” you asked your friends. Your friends roll their eyes, already knowing you are gonna bitch about being here again for the nth time but what you say next surprises them.

“If a man would fuck me so good that I see God,” you say in all seriousness.

“Damn she’s drunk drunk” your friends laugh at your confession.

You were neck deep into assignments for the past month. You didn’t leave your house except for going to the library to get shit done. So naturally, this also meant that you were frustrated mentally and sexually, needing nothing more than to melt your stress away. 

So what could be a better way than coming to the club to find someone who can help you with it? For your friends, it might mostly be the alcohol talking, but you knew the motivating factor that really convinced you to step out tonight was yet to be met.

“So you’re here to find a guy to hook up with... but all you’ve done is cry about being here. Make it make sense?” your friend Mila counters.

“It’s cause there aren’t any hot guys in here!” you cry out loud. “You need to help me find someone. Please—“

You go quiet as your eyes land on the group of guys that enter the club. Your gaze is fixated on this tall buff guy with blonde hair. He has a tired look on his face that rivals your own and he is oh so handsome.

The thing that catches your interest is his outfit. He’s wearing a black dress shirt with tan pants. His shirt hugs his muscles so tightly that it might rip open any moment. He stood out amongst the crowd of boys who wore T shirts and cargos and called it a fit. 

Your friends have already caught on to him with the way you were shamelessly checking him out. “Go talk to him,” your other friend Dia suggests.

“Oh God! He’s hot isn’t he!?” you whine. 

“Girl, you have a type. And it’s always the stoic, uninterested men.” Mila interjects.

“You forgot the hot dilf body.” Dia chimes in.

You don’t realize that you haven’t taken your eyes off him until you see him catch you staring. You revert back to your friends with a groan.

“Oh shit.”

“Why are you still here? Go talk to him.”

“Urghh… he doesn’t look like a guy who would be interested, you know? I mean look at him. He looks like he was forced to be here,” You say, sneaking looks at him.

“Oh my! You always do this. You thirst over men but never make a move. This ain’t window-shopping! Stop acting like a bitch for once,” Mila states clearly annoyed.

“Don’t you get started, Mila. Why don’t you go ask out the guy at the coffee shop. Harry, was it? You even made me ask for his name! So stop calling me a bitch.” You snapped at her.

“You know what? Let’s make a deal, go dance with that man and I’ll ask Harry out.” Mila replies, her lips twisting in half a smile.

“Deal,” you say, shaking hands with her.

“But I need a little bit more of that liquid luck.”

You head to the bar, ordering two shots of tequila and instead of drinking it, you walk up to the mystery man.

“Hey there, handsome. Care to join me for a drink?” You say almost screaming over the loud music blaring in the background. You were so fixated on him that you didn’t notice his whole group was staring at you.

“Oh he won’t drink, he's a buzzkill, you know. But I can take you up on that offer, pretty girl,” a guy with white hair butts in and you give him an annoyed look.

“Leave her alone Gojo,” the blonde says, pushing the snow haired guy away. “Don’t mind him, he’s annoying that way. Sure I’d like that drink.”

He takes the shot glass from your hand and you click it before shooting it down together.

You move closer to him to introduce yourself so as to not scream in front of others.

He holds his hand out and says, “Nanami Kento, nice to meet you.” When you go to shake his hands, he gently lifts it to leave a small peck on the back of your hand and you feel chills run through your body. 

“I didn’t know you got game, Nanamin,” the Gojo guy shouts. Nanami rolls his eyes and looks at you. 

“Do you wanna—“ you both say at once which makes you laugh. “Go ahead,” he responds.

“I was gonna ask if you want to dance with me?” you ask, suddenly shy.

He nods, holding his hand out for you and leads you to the dance floor. “Hmm… didn’t know you were such a gentleman. You don’t look like the guy who goes clubbing on the weekends,” you tease him.

“Trust me I’m not. I was forced to join them. Need to keep them out of trouble,” he says with a sly smile while his hands move around your hips and you both sway around to the music.

“So, you are the daddy of the group, huh?” you ask, which comes out more seductive than you intended and you cringe slightly.

He spins you around so that your back is touching his chest and you take this opportunity to grind back on him.

He leans closer to your ear and says, “Umhmm… is that the reason you were undressing me with your eyes ever since I entered? Need daddy to take care of you, too?” 

You turn around to face him and snake your hands around his neck. You have to stand on your tiptoes even with your heels on to reach him.

“So what if I do?” you look at him with dark eyes.

He pulls you into a messy kiss and you melt into it letting him take control. You don’t remember how long you’ve been making out in the middle of the dance floor. 

You hear your friends hoot which makes you self aware about your surroundings. You pull away from the kiss breathlessly to look at your friends and give Mila a look to which she mumbles ‘okay, okay’ with a shrug while Dia gives you a thumbs up.

You look back at Nanami who witnessed the whole interaction. “What was that about?” he asks with a quizzical look.

“Argh… nothing. Just a stupid bet between friends.”

“Is that what I am? A stupid bet?” He asks feigning hurt which makes you chuckle, “So what was the bet? Get a kiss?”

“Well I could tell you the truth that it was just to dance with you or I could just lie and say that it was to get you to sleep with me,” You reply with your hands running over his biceps suggestively.

“Hmmm… the lie sounds much more convincing to me,” he says lowly in your ears.

“So Nanami-san, you gonna help me win the bet or not?” your hands move up to play with his undercut.

“How can I resist when you ask so nicely.”

~fin~

#nanamismunchkin #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsukaisen x reader #jjk #nanami smut #nanami kento #jujutsu nanami #jjk nanami #kento nanami #nanami x reader

[zombu7]

Also I hate how they make Harry big and strong and Draco delicate and feminine in Drarry fics sorry but Harry is the delicate, small one. Draco is canonically taller than him and Harry is always described as small and thin for his age. “But he got strong bc of Quiddich!” How tho? The role of seeker is the least demanding physically. And it he was to fill up bc of Quiddich wouldn’t that apply to Draco too? I just hate how people try to force top Harry onto things. He’s a bottom.

I think people can have their preferences but I definitely understand what you mean when they overexaggerate / make HP buff lol.

I think Harry being shorter was only canon in the movies but you’re definitely right about how they make Draco a twig HAHAHA it’s just people wanting him to fit into their subby bttm cowardly view of him because that’s what they want and they see the ship through that lense. Also for some reason people view bottoming to be in the same level as smth cowardly and there’s no such thing as strong bottoms apparently 💀

I love muscled / dilf Harry though I love buff bottoms 🤤 I love any HP honestly bc he bottoms… I think it just puts me off when it’s from HP/DMs bc the intent is to just make Draco as uwu softie while Harry is super hyper masculinized as possible and also everytime I see this huge physical exaggeration they usually make HP’s skin darker?? Like it just gives off seeing POC / darker skin tones as aggressive / hypermasculinized after some white maiden… it’s usually from ENG fans too. Like at that point if your “rep” is going to be stereotypical like that just keep them both white hfhfhf. Also they just see him as James. And treat Draco like an oc 😂

Those types of drarry shippers have been known to switch their personalities and physicalities for the longest time, and will continue to stay delusional for their token uwu softie misunderstood white blond boy 😂. A lot of my bttm hp friends and me too have been attacked by them so much, such behavior by rude fans is pitiful. In the end as much as it annoys me, I just block them. Secure in the thought I am not as chronically online as some of them to the point I go after others for t/b pref. Just stay in ur lane, we will be ok! ❤️

#zombu answers

[bthebeachboi]

LA WON <3 aka LA n how I see him

Kinda sad that my boi SF didn't win or Oakland since I didn't make anything of him before, but!! LA it is (and for the people who wanted San Diego, there's smth small under the cut, tho remember that's how I see him)

LA, since he's not built like Austin, has his own body. He suffers a lot for beauty, since he fully believes that he has to. Him and San Francsico are totally different that way, since he doesn't care how people see him and still ends up being usually beautiful.

Things that LA did for beauty: he dyes his hair blond, since he got Cal's hair color (like most cities); he keeps his hair long and spends hours taking care of it, usually loosing his sleeping time; he uses different online diets and it gets bad enough that Oakland gives him a visit with an actual dietishan(?) so he has a proper one; he keeps himself smooth, so he shaves a lot since all of the cities are prone to have some body hair.

I am a firm believer that LA doesn't exercise that much, he usually likes to keep himself skinny, not buff. A lot of his beauty standards are very female beauty standarts, which does come from the fact that ma Cal is trans! When none of the cities ended up being female (how I see it - there's a version of male and female states and their cities and some of the versions disappear (("male" Hawaii exsisted, but was removed for obvoius reasons; since My Cal is trans, his "male version" would be B!))), people who were "watching" them didn't know what to make of it and the more popular cities (San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles) were being "pushed" toward the female stuff, but with SF they failed, SD was used as "male California" since he couldn't get a word in at that time (ignoring the when he went full cryptid few times and ended up killing Gov. men :D), somehow Los Angeles was a very easy target.

California still feels guilty that he couldn't keep him safe, though he shouldn't have to in the first place.

BUT, SINCE THOSE HC WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE "PRIDE"

LA is pansexual, he never really questioned it much, which is the only thing he never questioned, even if he's an overthinker. He realized at his first Pride Parade when he saw how he loved everyone, he was actually overwhelmed by how he found so many people attractive, since he tried his best at distancing from people for years.

I feel like LA, from all the cities, would be the one to like and feel good with They/Them pronouns, but he also doesn't fully care about them! He believes more into catching people with his looks than catching people with who he is.

He is lowkey poly, but he doesn't actually realize that, since he believes that it "comes with his sexuality" that he loves a lot of people. Not fully his fault, since he actually likes to say that "he is still learning about himself and who knows, stuff might change!" (it will.)

San Francisco knows. He was the one who mentioned to him the "pansexual" stuff, since he's questioning himself all the time (the only thing he overthinks.)

From other cities n stuff, those are the ones that he had/has a crush on:

Austin, because he's the only reason he actually can survive Texas without trying to skin him (SF is holding a rock, a very sharp rock.); he ADORED NYC for a while, but it was only because of the idea of him, not actually because of him; he's aroused and scared every time he sees any city from Alaska or the bearman himself; flirted with a lot of fem NY cities, not proud of it because it made him like B (who still flirts with every fem state that is interested in men in one way or another); he did like Mom and he still believes that her father was a dilf (he was).

Since I believe that B is like the sun and Cal is like the moon, LA would make a good polar star, wouldn't he? He shines the brightest, still believes that it's not good enough. And like a star, one day the fire - the thing he feels he needs more of - will be his end. (I believe that my boi would absolutly wear glasses too, but i hid most of his face anyway)

Now!! Some stuff for the San Diego fans:

He is the one I see as most likely not minding he/she pronouns, he believes that since Cal is both versions, then he must be too!! But that comes from the fact that he's very very queer, he doesn't know any specifics nor does he care about them. He likes the good vibes and colors, but he'd like it more if people wouldn't try to get him into "a box", even if he's okay with being called "queer", he likes how it sounds, doesn't really care about it much more.

He likes pretty peope and he has a lot of body art (tattoos) made by pretty people ;) do the math yourself.

If Cal is the moon, B is the sun, LA is the star and SF is the eclipse then San Diego is the earth.

He is us, he is our love and he is everything that we love. He looks at us with softness that one isn't born with, but that one made by seeing us at our lowest. He is the one thing that would stay if it could, for us, but it only depends on us. (am sorry that sky is so fuckin bad I just suck at 'em).

He's also one of the only California's cities with natural blond hair!! I usually imagine him looking closely to Florida - shirt with no sleeves to show off his tattoos, sunglasses n messy blond hair - he's every "stereotypical surfer" combained.

#just rambling rat #rat rambles #bthebeachboi #beach!cal #beachcalifornia #welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #wttt #wttsh #ratty shipping #its fuckin looong post #long post #:') #i just noticed that i didnt shade diegos “belt” #bad eng probably #wttt headcanons #wttsh headcanons

[conradrasputin]

scraps of an idea I’m stuck on

gonna really au/bend canon quite a bit; Logan meets what he thinks are two twins but they’re actually escapees of the test tube baby biological military  weapons program (an early variation of what happened a la ‘Logan’ film). Cory would be the actual original born mutant (edit his eyes to Sandman teeth eyes upper right btw), part of the subdivision experiments, ‘The Morpheus project’ (see what I did there, ooh subtle), with strength and the power to enter people’s dreams and hunt them in their newly turned nightmares. Still bitter because he recollects the dark haired scientist that he followed since he could remember, who called him his greatest creation, and gladly assisted every experiment, only to be abandoned when he starts harming the guards in real life instead of in their dreams (wasn’t this what he was designed to do?)

Donald is a clone of Cory, from an attempt to alter mutant dna, into human dna. Almost 100% physical copy of young Cory but he comes out missing one hand. He’s almost terminated then and there, except they find he’s strong and has a mild control over technology which keeps the scientists interested (a power I kinda garner from wiki, but tbh the comic is a lot less interesting than the movie/what Bunny is doing) Donald’s clone birth came into the picture after Cory was acting up and his creator abandoned him. Donald takes to Cory right away, and Cory may be pissy, but when Donald tears the tongue out of another scientist with his teeth when they try to sedate Cory, he warms up to him. 

So something something these twinks escape the facility in glorified violence and make their way into the world, tasting life one daddy (and daddy eyeballs) at a time. Donald cuts his blond locks short and dyes Cory’s hair pink when he convinces Cory it’ll double the eyeballs that’ll look at them. They hitchhike and travel all over with their tight clothes and bright lips, Cory in sunglasses for obvious reasons, Donald with stolen prescription lenses for his mildly defective blurry vision from his cloning. They’re making their usual bar daddy run to see who can treat them to a decent meal and fuck before Cory can get his eyeball dessert. 

Enter this BUILT dilf with the handlebar sideburns who isn’t even LOOKING at them, just nursing his drink and cigar, his muscles obvious under his clothes, and his huge bulge even more obvious. Cory’s interested, but he can see Donald is a GONER, taking Cory to a dark corner ‘that one, I want to KEEP that one!’ and Cory’s a bit pouty because how is this going to work with his very obvious mutation behind his sunglasses plus he wanted his ocular dessert, but hey, there’s always a chance this buff daddy will be a bad lay and he can get rid of him (although he doubts it the way those muscles are coiled up.) He agrees, with Donald lifting Cory’s sunglasses up so he can give a sweet affectionate kiss to each mouth. 

Donald goes in first, and it’s a laugh, the guy is still only looking at his drink and every pissy remark waved with his cigar is having Donald making involuntary horny squeaks, not becoming of his dilf seducing abilities. Cory decides to jump in and cut the shit, full out asks whether or not this guy wants to work out his frustrations in a fuck, or in a fight? The guy actually looks up to scoff and stops short when he gets a proper look at them. Donald’s all flushed and blushy with his red mouth open in embarrassment and Cory’s mouth is at full pissed off pink pout and giving a waiting stare behind his shades. The guy takes a moment, a real quick stock to ask himself if he’s a fucking idiot in more than one way, and says ‘Alright. I got a room.’

‘Well how wonderful. Lead the way’ Cory drawls, all sarcastic southern belle, and the guy is clearly realizing the similarities in their looks and vocal twangs. ‘You guys twins?’ and Cory could tell it wouldn’t matter, given the guy’s growing package starting to strain loudly against his belt. 

‘The answer ranges from, it’s complicated, to not really,’ Donald adds with his own drawl, getting back into his groove, ‘but how about you take off our clothes and find out?’ 

The guy grunts and reigns in the urge to heave both of them up and over his shoulders to his room. Donald reigns in nothing and finally settles onto his lap.’You got a name daddy?’ moving his hips up and down. 

‘Logan.’ and he hungrily licks into Donald’s mouth and pins one huge arm around his waist, using his other arm to drag Cory closer. Cory doesn’t have time to appreciate it because his shades fall off from the force. Logan turns a lustful gaze at him before freezing and everything is still. 

It’s dark in their corner of the bar, but Logan can clearly see all three sets of Cory’s teeth. Donald is reluctantly braced to end this night badly, but Logan takes a breath and strokes a gentler hand on Cory’s face. Cory’s still startled and even more so when Logan brings his own hand out of the way and watches sharp steel start protruding into full claws that look like they could tear him to shreds.

‘We all have our secrets.’ Logan says, before they slide back. . Donald slides off Logan’s lap and puts Cory’s sunglasses back on for him, and they’re both staring at Logan. Logan gives a grimace, tries to feel out the room. ‘...Your names?’ 

Donald and Cory give them, and then they’re BOTH on each side of Logan’s lap, getting their mouths wherever they can reach (and Cory’s other mouths are already drooling under the shades as well) and Logan says fuck it, and hauls them over his shoulders after all. From there it’s a frenzy to Logan’s room, with Cory and Donald realizing that while their past dilfs only handled one or the other, or only one at a time, LOGAN is taking them apart at the same time.

They’ve all torn the clothes off of each other, Cory’s shades happily lost somewhere, and the boys are slobbering their pink lips all over Logan’s cock, actually gagging when that’s NEVER happened before, licking mindlessly on Logan’s huge balls before Logan hauls them into bed and stacks them on each other to spank them red, licking and fingering their holes deep, Cory and Donald squealing until Logan lies down and arranges them on each arm, telling one of them to sit on his cock while the other can wait by sitting on his face. Donald has no dignity scrambling on top of Logan’s cock, but Cory’s not going to complain, smothering Logan’s face with his cheeks. 

I’ve got no gift for smut, but ergo, one on Logan’s face, one on Logan’s knot, and you know Logan is planting his feet on the bed to take Donald on a mechanical bull ride while pinning Cory against his face to get every inch of his tongue in that bussy. Then they switch of course, and then some, and then it’s blissful post coital rubbing with Logan softly kissing them (all four mouths, to be clear.)

Cut to a post fuckfest night where for one reason or another, the boys wake up the morning after, alone because Logan probably got caught up in some deadly fight getting his boys some breakfast, and either it takes him too far way, or he wins, but either way, he feels his life is too much of a danger to put Donald and Cory in the life endangering shit he goes through too often, so he leaves them behind. 

Cut to years later when the even older dilf finds out the boys have grown not only into incredibly filled out bodies, but he finds out he accidentally left a parting gift in their last meeting that have Donald and Cory put the M in Milf. 

#loganxdonald #loganxcorinthian #prompt #also along with the teeth imagine the tats on mr holebrook but I needed that tit picture' #my brain could barely put this up but you get the idea' #I also have some wants to get x24 or even richard involved but it's like branch off au au #have a knot au

[eruden-writes]

An Entertaining Dream

I wanted to write this earlier, but I had shit to do.

So, I had a dream involving, like, 5 couples? In the dream, I knew what I was seeing was some sort of adaptation to a series of romance books, like Ice Planet Barbarians or any romance world that pairs up a lot of its characters.

I don't remember the exact mechanics of it, but I think the pairs were matched up kind of Katee Robert's A Deal with A Demon series. There was an implication that they could ask for more info about each other. Which they may or may not get, for whatever reason.

I also don't remember exactly what happened in the dream. Just the bulk of the cast were rushing somewhere to fix some perceived issue.

Where they ended up was a castle that had a vampire (and I think a matched partner, but I don't remember.) The vampire was, like, a total buff DILF. For some reason, he reminded me of a mix between Draculaura's dad and Joseph from Dream Daddy, but buffer.

I don't remember much about the other couples. Except there was this pair that were grungy troublemakers. Like a goth Onceler and Wednesday Addams vibes. (I'm sorry, that's the best descriptor I can give.) ((Maybe one had Jeff the Killer vibes??? My kid is into creepypasta media so I guess that's where that came from. So I guess I consider Jeff the Killer a goth Onceler...))

Anywho, while in Vampire DILF's castle, they were told to avoid something while looking at a map and both Onceler and Wednesday just got these slow shit-eating grins on their faces. They were totally going to go to the restricted area.

There was also a wood nymph woman, who was cuddling up against some sort of creature that was capable of changing shapes to various woodland creatures. This creature reiterated intel about her match to her, I think? The nymph wasn't part of the main cast yet.

This wood nymph had hair that grew or shortened on her own. She reminded me of Persephone from Lore Olympus, but her hair shifted between blonde and green and she wore a green dress.

Honestly, now that I think about it, I'm wondering if the cast were trying to get to the bottom of a Persephone-and-Hades-esque match involving the wood nymph and her match...

My brain just decided to blend together a lot of media and vomit it up into a story in my head. 😂 It was honestly a great dream. I was very entertained.

#personal #dream #lol #omgoodness #one of the best dreams I had in awhile and I wish I had written it down before I forgot a lot of it

[skiplo-wave]

What if episode ratings ( in my opinion)

What if ep1: Captain Carter 4/10 speed run captain America movie but also we get buff Peggy and Bucky isnt winter soldier

What if ep2: Star Lord! T’challa 6/10 Chadwick last role :’) Blonde Nebula plus dilf Thanos that didn’t kill everyone

What if ep3: Hank just goes feral killing all the avengers 2/10 didn’t take long figure out killer. Writing could’ve been better. But hey we know how kill hulk I guess

What if ep4: Dark Stephen 10/10 Writing was good, pacing good, actions do be having consequences. Goth dilf wizard nuff said

What if ep5: Zombies 8/10 Auntie Wasp and her spider nephew! Also Yandere Vision. Like idea all zombies effecting heroes kept their skills. Guck zombie Thanos tho

What if ep6: Tony x Erik friend to lover to enemies speed run edition. 6/10 Really could’ve just gotten Erik and Tony being baddies together but alas. The ages and timeline still bug me tho. Only episode we get Rhodey and ya kill him -7/10

What if ep7: Party Thor 9/10 college AU we deserved and end the depression train for past 4 episodes 12/10 for Jotun Loki Stan healthy frost king

What if ep8: Ultron Vision 8/10

Thanos getting one shot killed was cool. Also watcher no loner watching and now acting lol. Thanos was very merciful killing us via dust. How humble of him

What if Ep9: 5/10 hot ass mess and very lackluster finale. Erik really didn’t have be in this episode because Ultron still be in the timeout ball while Steohen watched him. Gamora was wasted because everyone else had their own episode to be brogg ig ht back later. Should’ve been ZH peter, Avenger Loki, Good guy Thanos, FUCKIBG SERIAL KILLER HANK. Party Thor was funny but borderline annoying.

Series overall: 6/10 writing and pacing kills it for me. But hey all out AU fanfics are canons plus new rareships :)

#what if series #skip reviews

[daisys-gard3n]

*Thinkin' about Dilf!Don Giorno* ok it's nothing out of the world but don't tell me he wouldn't got such a built body cus Joestar genes and let's not forget about the beautiful gold long hair, he is that one dad who's Karens are afraid off and carries his baby around like "my kid is the cutenest than yours, watcha gonna do about it huh?"

The dio/joestar genes just hit later in life, just like how his hair turned blonde later on.

@ladybugblues has some sketches of dilf giogio with the long hair and buff bod on her blog

He shows up to the PTA meetings in a full designer-brands outfit: gucci shoes, cartier shades, a rolex on his wrist, real italian leather or fur jackets when its cold outside, all of the extra shit. And when one of the Karens complain about him and or his kid, Giorno just tips his glasses and be like: "I literally fund this whole school, do you think now is a good time to talk crap about my kid?"

The principle is obviously telling that karen to shut up because the school literally cannot function without don giorno's influence or money.

For the bake sale, bambina has procured the best cannolis in italy! Her papa helped her make (okay more like buy) them and gets the most sales. When any karen comes up to claim that she's cheating or whatever, Giorno gives the l o o k. And that karen runs away.

This buff italian don wearing these fancy clothes carries around his tiny bambina around as she wears a rapunzel dress to school (she wears all the princess dresses and gets to go to disneyland pretty often, her favorite princess is Rapunzel because "she has my daddy's hair!"). He already has her packed lunch (he full on cuts her sandwiches into little hearts and other shapes) and fixed her hair with cute braids and little flowers in her hair as he drops her off at school. No one dares to bully bambina, because they're afraid of Giorno and gun-wielding trigger happy Uncle Mista. Giorno visibly melts when Bambina presses a kiss on his face and says "See you, love you Papa."

Bambina gets lots of valentines day cards and candy because she's so cute! But Papa Giorno isn't so happy, he's full on about to whip out GER to make sure no one is even breathing around his daughter. Trying to confess your love to the daughter of a mafia don??? in your dreams.

#lauriewildfree #'dilf jojo' #dilf giorno #wholesome

[brdie]

god really said "ahhhh ur attracted to buff blonde dilfs, no take backs!!" and just left. and now im a fucking simp. don't you dare look at the tags.

#simp #erwin smith #reiner braun #zeke jaeger #thor #steve rogers #jason grace #thranduil #all might #feel free to add on #aone takanobu #mirio togata #paul bettany #coach ukai

[foxymoxynoona]

Hey Foxy!

Do you have a specific look from Jungkook that is your absolute favorite? Like from a concert or a behind the scene video… literally anything. Can you post a pic of it too? 🥰

THIS is the hardest question I've ever been asked. How can I choose one?!!?

OK, my favorite thought tends to be fluffy longer-haired dark hair looks

This Ddaeng performance? I'm dead.

Saudi Arabia performance and behind the scenes, never recovered. Like what the heck?

This fluff-fest, yes, ESPECIALLY with the ear-tuck

Look at these beauties

Not fluffy, but JK in this Vlive was a defining moment for me love of him

Buff baby with swagger knocked me over

All the dilf and badboy looks from that recent show were illegal

I have watched this clip 1 million times

While I prefer the dark, I've loved some of his color experimentations --cherry koo way back was adorable, the recent long blond/silver was beautiful, and I liked the classy red of that Christmas concert season a couple years ago

And I don't have quick links, but DNA JK and The (infamous) Lotte Family concert are super nostalgic for me, even though they both happened before my army time, they were early discoveries that mad eme Feel Things.

Ok is this sufficient? Because I can't stop...

#asks #anonymous

[vake-hunter]

The Masters’ human forms

Headcanons about human forms in general: A Master can change their form when in sunlight. They have to request the change from the Judgement in charge (Sol, in this case). It is similar to the human forms Devils use, but more delicate. It starts to become less human at night, in dark areas, and under high emotions. Mirrors can also reflect their true appearance and their shadows tend to be winged. 

When their illusions start to break down, they will often have sharp claws, fangs and sharp or extra joints. They can also have horns and wings depending on how far they stray from the light that gives them their illusion. 

Hearts/Apples: vitiligo. Red hair, green eyes. Femme but doesn’t shave. Fat and proud. Wears crop tops. Cam ‘girl’. Prep. 

Iron: dilf. Scars, especially around neck. Greying hair. Big and buff. Grey-blue eyes. Always has random ass weapons with it. Masc. Has a sword cane. Hair usually shaved close to head. Looks like a soldier. 

Mirrors/Cups: always dusty or dirty. Digs through the trash. Always has a camera. Brown hair, brown eyes. Eyes are green in reflections. Its weird. Fluid presentation. Cups is more Masc, Mirrors is more Femme.

Spices: blonde with no fashion sense. Always high. Wears weed socks. Masc.

Wines: Red hair that is obviously dyed, probably does ombre hair styles. Wears makeup and corsets and stuffs its bra with those flexible flasks. Femme.

Veils: always dresses extra. Very androgynous and fluid in gender presentation. mostly grey hair, cut short usually due to society but would rather have it long. Body hair is salt and pepper. Missing right index finger and wears gloves to hide it. Wears plain but expensive suits, usually with long coats (would much rather be in Gothic Lolita fashion but…) Uses a cane to help walk. Russian accent.

Fires: jock. Wears shorts in winter. Has a big full beard. Will do your nails, tho. Ginger. Plaid and tattoos. Like a hipster. Masc.

Pages: nerd. Brown or black hair. The art school student. Wears glasses but doesn’t need them. Femme. Probably Dark Academia. 

Stones: has so many piercings. Dyes hair. Will offer to align your chakras or read your fortune. Buff Femme. 

Candles: Masc. Albino. Dyes hair black sometimes. Gets really excited when it grows facial hair. Short hair. Like ouji style fashion or pastel goth.

#fallen london #headcanons

[bitter69uk]

Recently watched: Heller in Pink Tights (1960). Taglines: “Her Lady Godiva act started the excitement that couldn't be stopped!” “Men Called Her "The Heller"... Women Called Her Worse!” 

International superstar. Naples’ greatest export. Glamour icon. One of the twentieth century’s preeminent sex goddesses. The fabulous Sophia Loren is so (justifiably) heralded as all these things her achievements as an actress (aside from the acclaimed Italian comedies she made with neo-realist auteur Vittorio De Sica in the sixties) seem almost secondary. While the movies Loren made during her Hollywood sojourn in the late fifties are a decidedly mixed bag, some – like Heller in Pink Tights – convey a genuine campy retro charm and deserve greater analysis. Heller is a fun, satirical Western (the sole time “woman’s director” George Cukor dabbled in the cowboy genre) set in nineteenth century Wyoming about the misadventures of a traveling music hall troupe touring through the Wild West. (Anthony Quinn is the troupe’s leader. Loren is their star attraction with a fiery Mediterranean “artistic temperament.” The duo has a complicated hot/ cold, on / off romantic history). 

Tonally, Heller is strange and uneven. As it progresses, it lurches from kitschy show biz comedy with musical numbers to straight Western adventure (complete with Indian attacks) to serious melodrama and back again. But who cares? The deluxe production values are lavish and ornate, and the scorching fifties Technicolor palette (heavy on fuchsias and shocking pinks) is worthy of comparison to Nicholas Ray's Hot Blood (1956). The supporting cast is exceptionally strong (including Eileen Heckart, Margaret O’Brien and poor, doomed Ramon Novarro in his last film). Most importantly, Heller succeeds as a star vehicle for Loren. Sporting a startling platinum blonde wig and styled to evoke a Toulouse-Lautrec illustration come to life, she’s lovingly costumed (by Edith Head) and photographed. As an actress, Loren switches from dramatic conviction to high comedy with ease (she’s a natural, earthy comedic performer), and she's nicely partnered with the charismatic Quinn. (By this point Loren and Quinn had already appeared together onscreen twice: in Attila (1954) and The Black Orchid (1959)). Note that the third party in Loren and Quinn’s romantic triangle is ruggedly handsome ultra-butch actor Steve Forrest. Think you’re unfamiliar with Forrest? But you are! Years later, Forrest portrayed dashing hotshot Hollywood lawyer Greg Savitt, Joan Crawford’s (fictional) lover, in the 1981 film adaptation of Mommie Dearest (he’s the buff DILF who memorably joins Faye Dunaway in the shower). Forrest’s snarling delivery of the inscrutable line, “If you're acting, you're wasting your time. If you're not, you're wasting mine” following a heated argument with Crawford ensured him cult movie immortality.

#sophia loren #george cukor #heller in pink tights #western films #mommie dearest #steve forrest #kitsch #retro #lobotomy room

[herecomesnaya]

overwatch

OH BOY HERE WE GO something I actually do see a lot of despite not playing myself!!

so this is a pvp game about Overwatch heroes fighting... members of... the bad organization?? something happened and there was a war, and all these Overwatch people fought in it, and now most of the world is fine except for Australia which is... actually nevermind I think Overwatch Australia is just pretty standard Australia

so you have Tracer, the one who made a million fuckboys mad by being a lesbian, even though it’s pretty obvious to anyone with 2 eyes that she plays for our team. (the gay one.) is spirited and British and teleports with her mecha-heart somehow

she’s friends with Winston the gorilla, who’s super-smart and like, the Overwatch boss

there are Genji and Hanzo, who are brothers? I think? Genji is a robot Buddhist and Hanzo is the one everyone ships with McCree, who in turn is basically APH America on steroids. I think he wore a Confederate flag in one of his concept designs, so I’m glad that got cut

what I’m not glad got cut? original Mercy. talk about a babe. normal Mercy is okay, I guess, but kinda boring as just a blonde, white angel girl. apparently she did some experiments on some people and is actually A Fuckton years old, despite being both gay and straight people’s loli-looking waifu.

she’s shipped with... Pharah? and Pharah’s mom, Ana, is a MILF (mother I’d like to fight because she is so strong)

then we have uhhh... Symmetra, who is autistic, and Torbjorn, who is a dwarf, and Mei, who is thicc but not thicc enough for some people, that’s most of the discourse I know about her. lives in the cold. oh yeah and people ship her with Junkrat, which fills other people with a flaming hot rage, bc they hate each other. or she just hates him idk.

Junkrat is a Messy Boy who likes to explode things, and his thicc stud of a friend Roadhog is his silent partner who steals things with him in Australia. both are disgraces. also the Australian queen is hot af hmu

WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED Genji isn’t the robot Buddhist, that’s Zenyatta, fuck I’m such a robot racist

speaking of robots: there’s a little girl in one of the robots? right? and she’s like a child engineering prodigy? and I think D.Va is also in a robot, and she’s even more of a waifu because she likes video games and is Asian, which makes otaku dick rise even faster than the thought of a half-off body pillow.

Reinhardt is lorge and jolly and if he’s anything like the version of him I RP’d with once, he’s just chill and fun to be around. very into STRENGTH!! and probably beer, since he’s German. could crush your whole head by twitching his thighs. a DILF for sure.

Widowmaker is my waifu if I had to choose. she used to be married, but then Evil Organization made her kill her husband and also somehow made her skin blue, and now she feels no love, unless it is love for sniping. not sure how spiders and sniping fit together, but I’m for it

she hangs out with Reaper, who seems super incorporeal but is always shown in porn as a human guy, which is just all kinds of disappointing. he and Widowmaker adopted a child in the form of Sombra, who’s absolutely the most bisexual character I’ve ever encountered. her skills include hacking and Spanish accents.

others I don’t know much about: 76 (some sort of... buff soldier? with a mask?), Zarya (could also bench-press me and then crush my skull like a grape and I’d thank her for it), and Lucio (Cool Guy here for a chill time, rollerskates over your hopes and dreams, wears headphones so I assume he likes music). there’s a new Evil Organization lady whose face is very sharp to the point where frankly it frightens me

and then, looking over this character list to see if I missed anyone, there’s this Bastion robot fellow who I don’t recall seeing in any Overwatch posts ever. who is he? what is he like? or is he a she, or a they? whose waifu/husbando are they? this robot likes birds. probably the only good character in the whole game.

Overwatch consists of fighting, occasionally using “ults” which make your character shout things like IT’S HIIIIIIIGH NOOOOOOON before executing a move that makes half the board quit in sheer outrage. Mercy’s was nerfed at one point or changed somehow in a way that made people very upset? everyone needs healing. especially this fandom.

#ask #ask meme #maiiau