#but I am still like.

[antiqua-lugar]

I think that what is bothering me the most about Gale's Waterdeep VS Baldur's Gate romance epilogue is that I am an immigrant born of immigrants, most of my friends are immigrants, I just turned thirty, the idea that two grown ass men can't have an actual conversation about where to live is insane to me.

Like yeah, it's a game mechanic, that's what headcanons and fanfictions are for, blah blah blah but like. Besties. The whole game establishes that Waterdeep deeply matters to Gale and Baldur's Gate can deeply matter to your PC as a Baldurian.

So why are we half assing this very important life decision based on what I said five minutes after fighting a netherbrain as one of my best friends run away in the shadow, the other flew away on a dragon to save her people, two other just went to Hell and I barely recovered emotionally from my boyfriend insisting he should blow himself up. Also did I mention we just fought a netherbrain and then we fell from the fucking sky.

#antiqua plays bg3 #like I know some of it is gale being gale where he is like truly you love me like no other but deep down I still believe I don't deserve yo #so I don't wanna risk it #but like he did previous to patch 5 #like i know there are things the game can't account for issues like the fact that apparently waterdeep has like zero tieflings #and if there is anything this game has thaught me is that community is important especially because tieflings' lives suck even in bg #but they tie his baldur's gate ending specifically to you saying that you wanna rebuild baldur's gate and then six months #then six months later gale has single handledy fixed all the upper city and he even made it better #so like just throw a line in about how once recostruction is mostly done they can just move to waterdeep #like if you want to make where to live such a big deal to a character then keep it consistent #idk #ugh #i think this is just nitpicky because this line of thinking is insane to me #like I googled it it's 800km between waterdeep and baldur's gate #that's. that's doable. #like #this annoys me so much and it's very nitpicky but it is very annoying #like his baldurian ending is still sweet and connects to some other aspects of gale as a charcter #but I am still like. #also apparently that ending counts as an adventurer ending...? girl what adventures #it's all refugee work and reconstruction #yeah I had this great adventure of getting corpses out of rubbles and round up some brand new orphans #oh boy was that fun

[skrunksthatwunk]

see 0 note flop posts aren't that bad when they're personal but 0 note fandom posts feel literally so bad. like if you don't wanna play toys with me anymore just say that. i'll pack up my super cool awesome things and go and i'll sit on the other side of the playground by myself and i won't even look at you. fuck

#yes i AM thinking about a particular post. no it wasn't that good but still. a moment of heartache for sure #like it feels so bad but im too prou dto delete it and also too lazy

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

#and also. am a ilittlel kitty :3 #mine #cats #brain empy. felt tip cats ONLY #we were promised snow today n then they decided actually :) rain all day for u #i bought new wool for a cardigan today im SO excited its gna be so colourful #i was going to do some sort of Thing on the back like a heart or something but im still too scared to do colour changing stuff #maybe....maybe next time #i think i will try a patter w like. an actual grid with it first rather than just rawdog it #bc i . do not know what im doing :3

[barblaz-arts]

Hell's most vanilla couple

#hazbin hotel #kinda nsfw? or well. suggestive #how do i tag this #i still like to stay classy but i am an adult playing with adult characters here so pls bear with me :) #chaggie #charlie morningstar #vaggie #my art

[astearisms]

catalysts, protectors

#man those episodes #so many things put into perspective #like Simon’s role as a protector and his kindness and empathy and compassion and existence being the catalyst for the rest of ooo to #flourish #and Betty is a protector of Simon #I wonder if the last two episodes will explore more of her character? there’s so much to be explored about her giving so much of herself #to Simon but not thinking about what she wants for herself #do we get to explore her feelings or see her at all? will she have changed or learned to let go #I think there will be some sort of closure for the both of them #but at what cost #I am still crying over that scene with Simon’s memory of Betty and their song #my art #fionna and cake #fionna and cake spoilers #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #golbetty

[mamawasatesttube]

BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...

#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually #and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash #and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change #also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb #from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs #and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash #or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into #and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is #ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)! #rimi talks

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like #completion consistancy i am thinking for with this #personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥 #i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional #i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic #but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one #it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played #however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music #because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do #so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan #very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay #TO ME 🤫 #if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this. #but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt. #i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

[lgbtlunaverse]

Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.

#writing #fic writing #like this is stuff i'm doing for fun with my perfectionism meter turned down as far as i can get it #and i am still thinking about it A LOT #talk to me about how in red string fic jgy perceives the memory block both as syrup and as mud but nmj thinks it feels like blood #it's just a thing in their heads that mentally feels kind of thick and sticky but they both made something different of it #it's about issues with cleanliness / lies as a way to craft an illusion of a better lopking world vs the constant violence nmj lives in

[voidoffline]

!This is a drawing! Not a screenshot!

This is nineteen hours of work. (Not the build I based this off of- it only took me like a few minutes to build it XD)

(This is the next build of mine that I will draw)

#art #digital art #my art #fanart #<- ? #minecraft #minecraft art #minecraft fanart #okay so this would be considered fanart #gottcha #minecraft build #at least this is based off a build #sunrise #I am very proud of this #likely because it took me nineteen fucking hours #and gosh I still have one more to go- #I’ll post the other one when it’s finished on its own. and then both of them together in another post #drawing not a screenshot

[theoldkyokodied]

Really quick doodles of a few scenes from the stream yesterday. Including combat flirting taunting, gale’s magnificently distracting shoes and.. whatever you wanna call gale agreeing to give 15 gold to astarion 😐😑😐😑😐 (that’s me blinking)

#bloodweave #astarion x gale #gale x astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #they are so funny god help. thank you to whoever sat Neil next to Tim #my roommate turning to look directly at me whenever they were interacting lik bestie please stop I am trying to be normal. don’t look at me #my roommate also said Neil acting low-key obsessed with gale and I could only say wow he’s just like me fr fr. #if I didn’t still struggle with getting shadowhearts likeness you would get a drawing of her hugging bing bong too but alas … #anyway the stream was so fun #can’t wait til tomorrow hehe

[frownyalfred]

“You wanna fight someone, you fight me” seemed like a silly rule at first. but after there was more than one batkid living in the Manor at the same time, suddenly the prospect of having to spar with Bruce on the mats because you couldn’t stop yourself from throwing a punch at Tim earlier is terrifying.

#stolen from Yellowstone #I think this is a great way to discourage the batkids fighting among themselves #mostly #like it still happens #but damn if getting beaten into the mats at 4 am reminds you why punching Tim won’t help you in the long run #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #batfam #thoughts

[fairydriver]

if you post an image in discord itll round the corners, but once you hit a certain smallness it rounds into a circle. so basically if you make an image that is 32x32 and you post it in discord itll go from this

to this.

so you basically can just draw a little face in mspaint or something and paste it into discord and itll look like a little emoji. you can potentially mess around with this a lot, its proportional to your image going smaller and it doesnt have to be a square either.

#I THINK THIS HAS A LOT OF FUN POTENTIAL #discord #i am reblog locking this bc i lack the ability to properly issue corrections (see replies) #and also because getting notes like this causes me some distress #please feel free to issue a version of this post that is more accurate yourself (any reader) #but i will refrain #i still think its fun tho i initially noticed this at the 16 scale where it works regardless #just have fun and express yourself in a carefree manner

[brookheimer]

awards shows are ridiculous and asinine and are everything wrong with the entertainment industry. that is unless my favorites win in which case awards shows are wonderful and objective and are arbiters of merit and justice in a world devoid of true talent recognition

#this is a joke i still hate awards shows. but i am eating well tonight i must admit!!!! #golden globes #succession #kieran culkin #sarah snook #<— speaking it into existence #edit: SHE WON ! #not like there was any other possible outcome #sister sweep!!! #100 #500 #this time on posts i didn’t expect to get notes #1000 #lolol #5000 #damn y’all

[devilfruitdyke]

we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible

reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️

#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3 #too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture #its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it #there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic #the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho #plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric... #... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages' #that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world #i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop