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outerbankspov · 1 year

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- thank you love for your passionates ❤️ @giannadrichardson-blog

You and Drew have been dating since outer banks season one and you adore one another more than anything. The way you both met was a story you both say “We will tell our kids about this one day”… you needed a job asap in order to get recognized by the public for your future singing career so you signed up to play the love interest of a character name “Rafe Cameron’ WHO happens to be played by Drew Starkey. You for sure saw his face around in your favorite movie “Love Simon” and since then you’ve been together and laughed about him in that film.

- Present day.

“Drew!!” You squeal as you run into your shared bedroom before you jump up and down in excitement. “What’s up, baby?” He smiles while asking you. “My agent just called… and they gave me a green light to tour my album!!’ He jumps off the bed to catch you in his arms. “BABY?? WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS GOOD!” he kisses your lips as you smile up at him nervously. “What’s that Face about?” He asked as he Brough you down with him on the bed. “Thing is it starts in 3 weeks..” You closed your eyes shut. “Well, that’s good news. What with the face?” He asks again, You bit your lip and shook your head “Can you come with?” Knowing this the worse idea to ask is because you know Drew has to stay just in case he gets a call back from his agent about the new movie he was offered that will be filming in ITALY. “Baby.. you know I would to go with you but I can’t” You nod and looks down, pushing your hair behind both ears and smiling weekly as you plaid with your nails. GOD you know you can’t do this without him, you would be a wreck you know that for sure. “What’s going on in that pretty little mind of yours?” “I just really wish you could come, what if I fuck up?? I will never forgive myself” A tear slipped passed your eyes and Drew brushed it away.

“My love you are gonna be so good I promise you” you sniffle and nod. “You’re just saying that because your my boyfriend-” , “No I’m saying that because I believe you can. Baby of course you can” he kisses your forehead and you finally accept it.

Tour has been a real fun… scary experience. Going out on stage and seeing a huge crowd every two days and seeing them actually enjoy your music made you feel like you’re doing something right. But apart of you still wishes Drew was there, you go to sleep every night after a FaceTime with him and talk about your day and how nervous you were. This time when calling Drew, he didn’t answer. You started to get worried but soon after got a text saying “a bit busy. Talk later” confused you just decided to go to sleep.

“Y/N YOU ARE ON IN- 3,2,1 GO” your manager tells you. You put the biggest smile on your face and runs out on stage greeting everyone. “Hello NEW YORK CITY!! As you might know I’m dedicating this night to my love Drew Starkey, we actually met on this day 4 years ago… kinda insane! All I’m asking for you all is to enjoy this night like I’m gonna be and yell loud !!” The group cheered and smiled. You started singing and you Just felt so free until a gut feeling and the feeling in the air made you want to shut down. God you hate this, it’s a big night and your stupid mind wants to shut down now ???. You finish the song and runs off of stage.

“Y/n? What’s up?” Your manager ask calmly.

“Stacy. I can’t do this- it’s like my hearts being pul-“ you was interrupted by a call she picked up. She nodded and said okay to the person and hung up. “Wiped those tears baby! Go back on stage !! You got this” she encouraged, and like the person you was you walked out again and started singing. At this part of the song no one sings because they know it’s a slow part that you enjoy so much. Nope not today- you start to sing and it seems like you got 6 sense because all of a sudden you felt better, it’s like their was this light telling you to continue. Once you was done you made your way back stage ready to run to your manager put stop in your tracks, turning around you see him, them.

“DREW??” You squeal as you jump into his arms. “You’re here? You’re really here!” You kisses his lips and he chuckles. “ m’course I’m here. Wouldn’t want to miss this day ever. Or any other” he looks at you with a knowing look at you jump in excitement. “You’re staying ?” He nods and you kiss him again. So beyond excited and your heart felt completed. “How about we get something to eat baby?” You smile up at him and nod. “I will like that”. You couldn’t believe it, you look at your other friend and runs into their arms. “You guys are amazing”. The day was spent like any other, Drew by your side constantly kissing you and your best of friends next to you.

#outer banks #obx #drew starkey #drew starkey fluff #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey x fem!reader #rafe cameron x smut #rafe x y/n #drew x y/n #omfg i love this #i hope you like this

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popcornforone · 5 months

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Cobwebs

A Frankie (Catfish) Morales Fan Fic

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, & all that shiz. This is it. This is my Christmas Fic for the year. & I decided come September it was gonna be Frankie. I’ve always kinda wanted to do part of this myself, which you’ll all work out (I mean you know some of it I’d love to but we all know we don’t live in that world) so I wanted to share something sexy & romantic at the same time. & I think Frankie always gives those tropes.

Synopsis:- Circumstances mean both you & Frankie are off the grid so it’s time for you to both celebrate a Christmas neither of you had really planned.

Word count: 4100

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! PIV sex, swearing, pleasure, oral, depression, mission gone wrong but no details, self doubt but not suicidal thoughts, wanting to belong, alcohol.talk about sobering up.

Thanks as always for the read peoples. All feedback is welcome. I hope you enjoy & I wish you all an amazing couple of days & all the best for 2024.

“Are you crying?” You turn to face your beautiful catfish as he cuddles you on the sofa. Christmas Eve night it’s tradition. It’s time to watch Love Actually. It’s as Andrew Lincoln starts doing his signs.

“No” he says. His shoulders shake slightly, his hat which covers his curls is pulled down his head a little. His breathing is sharp. Yea he’s getting emotional. Your hand goes into his hair removing his hat for a few seconds to ruffle it.

“To me you are perfect” you say to Frankie quoting the film, before your lips softly kiss his lips. They feel so soft & you hold his face as he kisses you back.

“Surely im meant to say that”says Frankie.

“But you don’t need to win me over” you smile & you pass him a tissue. “I just want you to hug me, the second the score kicks in for the airport scene” you sip in your hot chocolate & pull your blanket up over you again.”that’s when I blub, it’s pure love”

“As pure as ours?” He asks.

“You tell me baby? Would you run through an airport to declare your love for me?” Frankie pauses for about 3 seconds & then smirks.

“Wouldn’t need to baby,” he giggles” I have my license we don’t need an airport. We can escape when we want to” your thumb wipes his last tear away. He grabs your hand & softly kisses each knuckle.

“Such a romantic” your hand scratches his beard before you pull him in close for a tender kiss on the lips. Everything is right with the world each time you smooch.

The way frankie holds you as the score kicks in & you start blubbering at the airport scene, makes you feel like home. You wish you were at home, but due to Frankies last mission, hes had to all but disappear for 6 months, to make sure no one can track him down. He sent you the code word you’d agreed on if anything happened & you upped & left your entire life behind in 6hours. Frankie had always warned you this could one day be the case & that if the time came, it would prove if you were his or not, were you willing to change everything to be with him? His face 4 weeks ago, when he arrived at this little house you have next to the beach, & he saw you standing in the kitchen made him sob. The sex that night was phenomenal too, you lost your voice from moaning his name. You got married 5 days later. You’d proven you would give up everything for your man & he had been given the love & loyalty he had always craved for. You genuinely had just abandon everything & were happy to live off the grid until Frankie could return back home. He’s heard from Pope who thinks it should be the start of June by the time people stop looking for the people involved.

“You okay baby?” He strokes your shoulder as you just let your tears fall & land in his tshirt.

“Never better Frankie” you mumble. Your arms are wrapped around him & you hug him tightly. His tummy filled with the nice food you’ve eaten & is now full of the love you have for each other.

“My beautiful girl, you’re so beautiful when you cry, I mean not that I want to see you cry but I love that you are so comfortable being vulnerable with me.”

“Isn’t that what marriage is all about Frankie?” You ask “if you can’t accept me at my worse, you don’t deserve me at my best?”

“Maybe” he states & then softly chuckles “I thought marriage was about who does the washing up & having sex 3 times a week”

“We must be having another couples sex then” his comment made you smile, blush & feel aroused. The good thing about living off the grid & only having an emergency burner phone, is that there is no work & no distractions for either of you. Most newly engaged or married couples have a honeymoon period but Frankie has made love to you every morning & night since you both arrived. Afternoon sex after a beach swim or walk has also been a rather pleasurable experience. This little town just know you as the newbies & nothing else. You are his. He is yours.

As the credits start on the film, Frankie disguards his hat onto the coffee table & thrashes his head so his hair is free & messy just how you like it. You know what gonna happen. No words need to be said. Your lips find his, as you help each other undress on the sofa, hands tugging at clothes, exploring the familiar landscapes they have done for the last month. The way Frankie always gasps when you lick his nipples always arouses you. His hand slips inside your knickers to check. Those long fingers are sodden in seconds. The moan you make intoxicates him.

“That’s my girl” he says.

You watch in awe as he uses his teeth to remove your knickers. He uses them to wipe his already building sweat off his brow, it’s now sticky with something else. You slowly turn over & grip the end of the sofa nearest the small Christmas tree you have. Your bum presenting itself for your man. The way he teases you. So large & girthy his length. It collects all your slick. The way it brushes your enterance has you fluttering, ready to accept his pleasure.

“Frankkkkiiiiieeee” the e is drawn out, as he slowly pushes inside you. Your legs part a little more so you’re comfortable as he slow rocks into you.

“Oooh darling” his grip around your hips always starts gentle, but never ends that way. “Oooh so so good, so wet” you rock back into him as he slowly thrusts inside. His curls already sweaty. The look of desire spreading across his face. The noises you make get louder.

“Don’t stop frankie”

“I don’t plan to” the panting is starting, & a firm hand smack your tight arse cheek making you yelp & clamp around him. “Oooh don’t act so surprised girl” he smacks the left one “I know it gets you going” your hand start grabbing the arm of the sofa grips harder. Your other hand which is underneath you, it pleasuring your clit. Frankie usually would but when he’s taking you from behind, he likes to stroke your back. The goosebumps that form on your skin from him trailing down your spine always have you whimpering at the slow sensitive touch. He is right, you enjoy a good smack in the arse. He’s always been a bum guy more than tits. But you both know it’s the long tongue of your catfish that makes you crumble. His mustash always tickles but no man has ever made you squirt during oral before. Frankie makes it happen every time including the first time. You know on Christmas morning you will probably wake up to Frankie being inbetween your thighs lapping away. He enjoys it as much as you do. Says you are the best breakfast a man could ask for.

“Oooh fuck” you bite the back of your hand & stop pleasuring yourslef. Overstimation is happening. Frankie is pounding away.

“Tell me baby, tell me how good it is”

“Fuck it good, oooh fuck fuck fuck yes more”

“More?” He snarls & slaps your arse again. “damn” he feels like he is in your belly. So long & girthy. So deep inside. Your special spot probably needs a break it’s been hit so much, it needs to explode.

“Frankie please please please”

“Tell me baby” the noise of his thrusts have disappeared due tk the heavy breathing & both your volume as you moan.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m…I”

“My slutty wife, oh fuck”

Frankies words finish you off. You fully put all your energy back into his next thrust & then freeze. Thank god you’re gripping onto the sofa, because your thighs crumble & you drop slightly as your orgasm hits you. Frankie is almost instantaneous with yours.

“Jesus oooh fuck” he crys as he spills inside you, fill you up with his seed. His thumbs digging into your skin. There might be marks there in the morning. You think you’re going to go blind as you scrunch your eyes up. It always Feels extraordinary when you cum at the same time. It makes it so intense & phenomenal. Frankie growls & you collapse your head onto the arm of the sofa, trying to regain composure from your high.

“Baby” Frankie lifts you back up a few minutes later, himself also in an exhausted sweaty state. “Oooh baby” soft kisses fill you lips, filled with love. You only muster 2 words as you look at Frankie with a devilish smile.

“To bed?”…

You don’t turn in your sleep that often, not that you know of, but for some reason you have & you can feel a cooling matress next to you. But no flesh. You half open your eyes & then they fully open. Frankie is not beside you. The curtains are still pulled, the door is shut. Where is he? He’s in the bathroom you think but you can’t hear anyone walking around your small house. You slowly sit up to check he’s not anywhere in the room. Nope no Frankie. Usually if he’s up early especially considering your current circumstances, he leaves you a note or a message or he’s left you a cup of coffee for when you wake up. But no there’s nothing. You can’t even turn on your phone to see where he is. You’re off the grid. you can also see the burner phone sitting on his bedside table. You stretch getting out of bed & find a pair of long shorts & an oversized blue fluffy jumper to go & search for him around the property.

You search each room & the garden & look up & down the road looking for your man, but still no sign. This isn’t like Frankie at all, not since he’s been sober, but even with his issues he always told you what he was going to do or if he needed some him time. You head back inside & make yourself a flask of coffee, before then thinking about what you should do. It’s as you sniff the coffee brewing that you remember something. You put on your old running trainers, grabbing the flask & head through the lounge out of your house to go find him, you notice his hat is still on the table from last nights rampant escapades, so you put that on your head too, grab your keys & head to the beach.

People walk past you & wish you a merry Christmas before looking at the state of you. You’re wondering why so many people are up at 7am, but then you remember there’s a church at the top of your road. They are all going to go & bless Jesus but you just want to find your god of a husband. You are now regretting the shorts as a rushed choice of clothing. It’s not cold cold but the closer you get to the beach the breezier it gets. It’s a bit of a shock to the system but you are now fully awake. You walk the 7mins to the beach & start walking over the pebbles & rocks to get to the bay.

There he is. Your Catfish. Your husband. His shoes are off as he paddles in the incoming tide form the sea. He has also gone for shorts, his old jeans which he cut up a few years ago when he got engine oil down the bottom half of the legs. He’s got a grey jumper on underneath a big stripy woollen hoodie. His hair is a mess & his face looks like he’s conflicted. That’s him. That’s your Frankie.

“Frankie” you shout as you carefully but quickly manoeuvre your feet to get to him across the stony beach.

“Hey” it’s soft & a sigh follows it.

“Baby what are you doing, you left no note, you didn’t…” you see his shoulders, they are stressed & carrying the weight of the world the closer you get to him. You slow your steps down but you’re only a few meters away now. “Do you just need a minute”

“I’ve had a minute” he says as he steps out of the water onto the rocks to put his own trainers back on. “I think I’ve been here for at least 45 mins having a minute” it’s exasperated his tone.

“We can talk or not Frankie, you know I’m happy to do whatever.” He stands up & walks towards you, you see in those eyes that there’s still so much he wants to tell you but as much as you know your husband & have done everything for him, he doesn’t want to burden you with his struggles. He has now got to you & he takes his hat from your head, ruffles his own hair as he puts it on his own head, before he ruffles your still bed hair. Long, messy & mousey blonde.

“I just had so many plans, for us, for the next year, for this Christmas” he says. Sorrow ringing in his voice.

“It’s okay Frankie we…”

“No it’s not” he interupts. “We were going to do so much today, we were going to tell both our families we were going to get married, we were going to eat a fantastic feast sourrounded by those we love. But no I had to listen to the guys & go on the stupid fucking mission.” He kicks at a few stones as he turns a few bounce off the rocks. “Why can’t I catch a break”

“Shhh shhh shhh” you hold his face.”baby, this might not be what we had planned but we’re here & we’re making the best of it. There will be other Christmases but this one is more than unique” you look dead in his eyes & make intense eye contact. You both close your eyes & sigh, all the stress you’re hoping is leaving his body.”I love you frankie”

“I love you too” Frankie whispers your name against your lips before your lips meet. Soft & slow, taking in all of him. His hand is in your hair after he’s pushed it off your face a little. You could be kissing for just 5 seconds, 5minutes or 5 hours. Time stopped. Frankie realises as his lips slowly part yours that you are right. He needs to accept that this now is your Christmas. It might be away from home, in hiding & just the two of you, but you can still make it special.

“Sorry baby” Frankie whispers as your eyes flutter open. “I just feel like I’ve let you down, you didn’t even get a proper wedding”

“You could never let me down baby” you say before kissing him again “& who needs to spend 10grand on a wedding when you can get married with 2 random people as witnesses & a registra. It was perfect. Me & you.”

“I guess” he states, “that’s when we first came here. To this bay”

“Yes frankie” you giggle”it clearly left an impression”

“It did, I often sneak down here to get rid of the cobwebs in my brain & calm the stress”

“Does it work?” You ask as you sip you coffee, it’s getting colder in the flask.

“Try it?” He suggests. “Take 5 steps forward & close your eyes & just listen to the waves”

“Promise not to run off” you ask him as you step away from him.

“Never, I’m never leaving you again”

You stand completely still & face the sea & slowly close your eyes. The waves crashing into the rocks at the right of you, the way the salty beach air hits your face. Your own breathing being shallow. The warmth just about clinging to your flask & the fact your lips still taste of coffee. You stand in silence & feel the weight being lifted & a sense of calm rolls over you. It works Frankie was right.

You then feel Frankies own head rest in your shoulder. Your eyes stay shut.

“Forever” you mumble as your breathing hitches.

“Til death do us part baby” he whispers in your ear & the kisses pepper around the top of your shoulder & around your neck. This is the moment you realised you made the right choice. His hands wrap around you & you both just stand in silence. His own breaths are music to your ears better than any waves or music or bird song. You slowly feel at peace with everything.

“So…” Frankie says & you slowly open your eyes, cobwebs gone. “…I didn’t give you a proper Christmas wake up did I”

“Well I’m very awake now…”

“Ahhh I meant something more personal than running around trying to find me”

“Well this was a unique way to start Christmas day” you chuckle.

“Personal wasn’t the right word, I meant intimate” no one else is on the beach as Frankie seduces you with those words & he also slips his hand inside your shorts & his eyes light up when he touches flesh. You let out a short gasp as your mound receives its first touch of the day. He scoops you into his arms. “I’m not waiting another second.”

Frankie all but runs with you in his arms back to your house. People watch as you squark his name & he laughs.

“Merry Christmas” you each separately yell at people as he hurry’s you back into the house & kicks the door shut behind him a before he finally deposits you on the bed. The warmth of your house already feeling good to you both but what feels best to you is his hands dealing with your jumper.

“Oooh you were in a rush to find me,no underwear at all” Frankie says as he sucks licks your nipples. “You must love me” Your head rolls back.

“Frankie”

“Oooh fuck baby” he takes his hat off & puts in on your head as you are sitting up. His hoddie & jumper are quickly taken off. His chest always looks magnificent. A few scars from his missions in the past. A little bit of hair. It forms a happy trial. He drops to his knees & you lift up once his hands are in your waist band. The long shorts are slowly removed. You keep your legs together, you know he likes to ask.

“Show me baby” he says as he licks his lips.”please, slowly” you part your things revealing yourself to Frankie. He always looks like an excited puppy when he sees what he gets to taste, it very quickly goes to a brooding desperate husband. “Ooh darling.” He’s panting. His erection growing. He wants to go slowly but he knows once he’s between your legs he will get his fill. “This is the sexiest you’ve ever looked, naked except for my hat & your trainers. So beautiful” his words have you wanting him more. “What did I do to deserve you”

“So much Frankie” you lean forward & caress his face. An impish look glances at him & his smile is one the devil would have. His two large hands push against your breast & you are now laying down, it means you legs open a little bit more & he slide towards your treasure.

“Oooh baby, come to daddy” he say & he slowly licks your clit. Such a large tongue just starting its magic. His tastebuds excited.

“Mmmmmmmm” you make noise but you’re not sure what it registered as. “Frankie…”

“Mmmm exactly” his large thumb takes over, your clit being pleasured has your hips already moving. You can feel yourself clamping already. “Oooh what a lucky man I am” he then parts your legs a little more. “But now you’re going to be my lucky wife…” Frankie does say something more but your too busy trying not to cum at this early stage of the session, to comprehend the end of the sentance. But then you moan.

“Oooh frankie, fuck” he’s buried his head inside you. Not just lapping at the residue or keeping you stimulated. That magnificent tongue is more than just pressing against your enterance, is popping inside your cunt. You feel so sexy. Frankie is the king of oral.

You thrust your hands into his hair, grabbing the pillow or your own breasts werent doing it for you. You tussle his curls as you moan & everything unravels. You push his head further down. The more you push the more pleasure he gives. His nose is rubbing too, making your own rhythm faster. Your pussy quivers at each sensation much like his taste buds must be as he licks.

“Fuck, oooh fuck” your panting. His mouth taking in your sex. Your arousal growing. Your thighs griping around him, hard, but not for much longer at his pace. They will soon be jelly. You will soon be cumming all over his lips. He enjoys the salty taste & you like to make out afterwards as he starts to make love with you. You’re always so sensitive after this & the way his girthy penis will push into you, will have you reaching multiple highs this morning. The way his thick curls feel in your hands as you rustle more, as you feel each motion getting you higher has you whimpering. The words no longer able to be heard. But he can tell from your body you’re close. He’s being squeezed between your legs. His entire face is sticky. Sweat & your arousal. He knows he’s going to get a better taste soon.

He then removes the hand that was griping your hip & slips a finger inside you.

“Jesus” that makes a noise. It’s high pitched & breathy. The finger inside you, the one on your clit & the way his mouth tastes you has you gasping. Your hands dig into his head, thighs grip around him. He’s struggling now but he know it’s coming. You screech”Fuck fuck fuck” & you fall apart. He smiles not that you can see it as he tastes your cum. The clit is furiously rubbed by his thumb to keep your high going. He slurps & sucks away at the new sticky sensation in his mouth. Always his favourite meal. Your chest rises & falls, your nipples are hard, but the rest of your body relaxes in euphoria. He is the king of oral. No man has ever satisfied your cunt more than Frankie.

His head eventually rises after you’ve let go of his hair & you smile. What a mess your husbands face is, red from blushing & being excited. His hair a mess, those front few curls dripping with sweat. But it’s how slick his face is. It glistening like cake icing. You’re both proud of the mess you’ve made of him.

“Never gets old” he says as he unbuckles his belt & gets on top of you on the bed. The fingers that were inside you he trails over your breasts, especially around your erect nipples.

“One of my favourite joys in life” you managed to muster back. Your eyes are transfixed onto how sexy your husband looks right now.

“Mine too baby” his head is now above your, hoover. His hand removes his hat from your head, ending up on the floor. As you had hoped his lips meet yours & the way they feel & the way you can taste yourself on them has your heart pounding. Both your & his hands make quick work of his shorts & boxers. Just feeling his leaking length against your skin has you whinging into your kiss. Now your done with the clothes your hands go back to each other bodies. Touching all you want. He slowly moving up & down your body. He knows he’s doing it right. You both feel the sensation of his tip slowly gracing above your clit. The ultimate tease.

“Frankie” you moan & lift his head up slightly. This big brown eyes on that charming face look back at you. “I didn’t need anything for Christmas, i just wanted you to be happy.”

“& that my beautiful wife, I am.” Your body gives in & he slowly as his tongue finds your tonsils, exploring like it did your cunt earlier, fills you with his penis. You moan & feel full. The stretch is magnificent.

“Happy Christmas beautiful” Frankie says “the best gift of all was knowing you cared” & so continues your Christmas Day feast. It might not be your big planned day, but your circumstances, no matter how unfortunate they are, means you & Frankie can have some quality time together & multiple orgasms.

#pedro pascal #fanfic #my fics #smutt #no minors #over18 #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #frankie catfish morales fan fic #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales #frankie morales fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal fan fic #triple frontier #Christmas

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cpunkwitch · 8 months

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answering my own questions

[pt: answering my own questions]

dont really get sent anything and not many people sent in the questions when the games were posted and reblogged, and i wanted to talk about stuff, so here we are.

this might end up being a multiple part post series?

ask game one (link)

(if comfortable) tell us about your condition? as much info as youre comfy with sharing.

i have a defect in the base of my spine, since i was born its caused me chronic pain all throughout my development and in recent years its only gotten worse, twisting my spine, headaches, jaw issues etc. i've also got highly suspected rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and ive been diagnosed with a pretty bad case of anemia so bad that everytime a doctor looks at my results after bloodwork they give me a pained look and say "heyy...did you know your iron is low? like...really really low?". that and a hand full of other things, vitamin deficiencies, etc. i dont mind talking more about this

2. do you know about the spoon theory? if yes, what do you think of it?

i'll be honest, the majority of my knowledge of spoon theory off the top of my head is that "drawer with limited supply of spoons" is the disabled way of saying i only have so much motivation and energy (phys, as "battery" usually refers to social and emotional) in me. i've read up on it ages ago but would not be able to put into better words what i still remember about spoon theory (esp since we had a different host back then), i like that its just so much quicker and easier to convey my amount of ability to do things for the day by saying whether or not i have the spoons for it.

i do like to joke that my drawer is always stocked with knives and forks for the ablests, but sometimes that requires spoons to handle too. /silly

3. do you have mobility aids? if yes, which ones? if no, do you want any in the future?

i've mention how i really wish i could have a wheelchair if i were in a different situation, i dont know if i'll ever get one and i almost cried when my brother responded to my joke of "would you make on for me?" with an "i would if i could", i really would like a wheelchair of some kind in the future if the world were more accessible and i were in a safer place. right now though, i've just got my cane that still needs repainting. i guess my moms back brace counts too, i take it with me to work sometimes.

4. how did you find out about cripplepunk? what drew you to the community and movement?

i dont exactly remember but i've known about it for years. i (prev host) might have come across it looking up different punk aesthetics, though im not completely sure why it showed up in a punk aesthetic list, possibly because its punk and people misinterpreted it? my first glimpse was seeing patches on jackets, spiked customized aids, cripples/phys disabled people in your classic punk attire (piercings, dyed spiked mohawks, ripped jeans and fingerless gloves) and i loved it. im a sucker for self expression through appearance and customizing things and then when i found out it was a whole community for support and centered around being physically disabled in general and slowly came to terms with my own disabled body and started accepting myself, i kinda fell in love with cripplepunk in the "this feels like home" sense.

i could probably ramble way more but i'll stop there.

5. if you deal with any kind of pain, what's your method of pain management?

i use hot packs, ice packs, voltaren cream, sometimes i take a cbd gummy, i do little stretches when i remember them, i take walks and hot baths/showers, im trying to go back to the chiropractor and my favourite instructors in rehab (theyre trans friendly and complimented my cane when i first came in with it i love them so much), and i take whatever meds i can, normally anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen but because i cant swallow pills i either take liquid (yeah, childs liquid meds works, the couple hours of mild relief is still worth it) or powdered tylenol or something. the hot/cold stuff depends on the pain and where on my body the pain is.

6. do you stand or sit in the shower or do you prefer baths/find bathing easier rather than showers?

i take baths for my muscles and during the damn monthly ouch in order to relax my body. i take showers just for my shoulders and when im feeling icky and wanna rinse off or something, i take showers on a "regular" basis and i normally stand because the only way i sit is if im crouched in the tub and if i do that i get extra dizzy standing up to get out when i turn the water off. thankfully im no longer near passing out when i take a shower but i still have to sit on the floor matt after because my legs demand rest. i gotta be careful with hot water cuz not only will it make me overheat quickly (i will not realize if in standing in blood-boiling hot water and turning myself into a cooked lobster until after im out) but it can also cause me to literally fall asleep in the bath which can go wrong.

7. do you have a sort of comfort item or safety blanket that helps you feel better, especially on the worst days?

a couple things. a few of them are stuffies/plushies, or music, games or books to help me keep my mind off it i suppose.

8. name 3 things you hate about hospitals/doctors/nurses/the medical system

a) a lot of them refuse to take people seriously or actually listen. sure maybe theyre tired or heard the same shtick before and wanna make sure this person isnt just a drug user trying to pity their way into getting more, but even then all matters a patient presents them with should still be taken seriously and never brushed off or mocked.

b) the fact that the er, the place you take a ticket and wait, is called the Emergency Room, when its normally scheduled appointments and people taken in by the ambulance that are top priority. sure its called the er because most visits through the er are rushed "emergency" last minute visits, people going there because they couldnt schedule an appointment and needed to see someone on that day, but still it feels wrong to call it the emergency room when its really just a waiting room and regardless of the visit they arent actually treated as emergencies. the whole system of just going to see a doctor feels messed up and most of the time you end up just going to see a nurse, get a check up and leave when they tell you what they got after a talk and examination or they schedule to see you again when a doctor is available. because of this i tend to prefer walk in clinics.

c) the fact that they charge to damn much, no matter if youre insured, it still charges so much. no matter what they do. and yeah, healthcare in canada is free to an extent if youre insured but a lot of times they charge more than your insurance can cover and not everyone can get/has insurance. not to mention the medical debt so many people have in america. i get that staff and hospitals need pay and funding but the government should have that covered and not have the patients charged so much for getting help. i almost got charged over 3k just for my short visit to the ward because there was an issue with my insurance and thats a whole angry story for another time.

9. whats an accessibility tool you wish was more accessible/that you had access to?

one of them is aac, the one i have on my phone i have to disconnect my phone to and has a limited amount of phrases i can pick from. id like it better if the app or just aac programs in general when directly to your device speaker by default, had more options for more ease conversing and none of them were behind a damn pay wall, in-app purchase or otherwise. i rarely use it for several reasons but i'd love if i could use it more with less limitations.

also wheelchair ramps. i dont have a wheelchair ramp but i wish people stopped walking on them when theyre clearly able-bodied, i wished my parents taught me and my siblings what the ramps were for and not to run up and down them as well as other parents to their kids because those things are supposed to be clear for a wheelchair user. i also think the corners should be rounded for ease of turning and that wheelchair accessible paths in general should be firm to the ground (not a wimpy matt on the sand that flips over and gets buried on the beach unmaintained), maintained and cleaned regularly, not have any gaps (ive seen so many of the small ones installed in doorways that have a height gap above the ground which causes trouble getting the wheelchair on the ramp let alone through the damn door) and not have railings made of metal if theyre outside (they can often reflect light into peoples eyes and get too hot to touch in the sun both of which are not good issues to have no matter how small they seem.)

those are at least the first to come to mind.

10. whats the worst accessability cockblock you've seen ableds do/make?

theres quite a few i've seen but atm nothing significant comes to mind other than overpricing mobility aids or placing paywalls in front of aids in general.

however there was the few times in more than one school i went to you had to go to the office, provide a 'valid' reason and ask them for a key to the elevator, otherwise they make you take the stairs. i know they do it because they dont want able-bodied kids messing with it n shit but its stupid, it should be accessible to everyone regardless. thank fuck both collages ive been to so far give free elevator use to any staff or student but in the schools i went to i was only allowed have the access key because i couldnt walk up the steps on my sprained/twisted ankle and i had to give it back at the end of every day. the last school even limited my use to just the morning or 1-2 periods that i had on the second floor. nevermind if my locker was up there.

11. whats an accessibility tool youre very thankful for?

screen readers. my little brother uses/used em more than me and i dont use them too often but im glad they exist in general i used them when i was younger and my english teachers gave us work on the computer, i used it like an audiobook and it helped me majorly. i hate that people dont always provide translations to things and make things harder on screen readers by using coloured, tiny, non-serif font-ed or 'quirked' text but ever since i was a kid i was just as happy they existed as i was about braille.

12. name 3 things you like about hospitals/docs/nurses/the medical system

a) that there are some people there who are actually hoping, willing and ready to listen and help others.

b) that they provide things for kids like toys in the waiting room, people who specialize in caring for kids in the hospital, some doctors even have their office decorated. one doctor i went to had her entire office winnie the pooh themed and it helped me out a lot when i got blood work done n stuff, it was really comforting to stare at pooh bear instead of the sharp pokey in my arm.

c) that things are usually kept quiet with low voices, as it reduces risk of overstimulation as well as avoids hurting anyones head and protects privacy of those talking about whats going on. voices are usually only raised to a normal talking level when in the privacy of a nurse or doctor office and its something i dont see really acknowledged anywhere.

13. do you have any favourite disability rep? (media or character)

not picking from my own sources, when it comes to physical disability rep, its hard for me to pick something that involves a realistic character because most of them arent very well portrayed or i cant personally relate to. i can list Freddy freeman as one, hes a crutch user and how the shazam movie portrayed him does well in expressing what ableism can be like for some visibly disabled kids in school. i could probably list some shows that handle disability well through other means if i thought of them, i know theres a few that handle it through super heros being disabled (the one spider-person who's got both a wheelchair and a cane from the recent spiderverse movie for example) or non-human characters having differences that are implied to be disabilities, and i adore that creativity, especially with showing disabled super heros as it tells disabled kids theyre still strong, not broken, they can still be cool and do great things just like able-bodied people. hard for me to name specific things off the top of my head though, guess i like specific tropes around disability rep more than anything. it helps normalize disability and thats what really makes me happy with it. (thats a big reason why i made @/your-fave-is-crippled)

14. least favourite/worst disability rep?

not phys disabled but sia's fucked up movie right off the bat still angers me. i cant name any specifics once again, normally if theres some rep that i dont like i purposely forget they exist to begin with, they arent worth remembering if they arent gonna do it right, y'know? id rather forget and move on than linger and rage about it if i can help it.

15. list some creators (youtubers/bloggers etc) that are disabled and/or cater to a disabled audience that you enjoy? (if any)

@crippled-pvp, @cripple-culture-is are a couple blogs i follow that i enjoy seeing on my dash (sorry if you dont want to be tagged!)

there was a deaf/hoh girl i used to frequent the content of as she talks a lot about signing and i really enjoyed her videos, shes such a sweet person but i never remembered her name nor any of the other creators i watched/followed. no one else comes to mind atm

16. favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

i like that there are people with advice at the ready, whatever question you have or info you need etc, theres always going to be someone with the words you need. i just like how helpful people can be in general in this community and how easily support is accessed through the community.

17. least favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

the fact that theres in-fighting, fake claiming, judgment, quick assumptions, and general internalized ableism still going on when we're supposed to be a community helping each other out not tearing each other down. im not just talking about the fight over "inclusion vs exclusion" on cripplepunk and other sub/separate communities in the disability community.

18. favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

i think my answer to "what drew you to cripplepunk" also answers this.

19. least favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

honestly? none. i hate the people forcing themselves into a space not meant to include them nor benefits them in the first place. i cant actually think of an issue i have with the cpunk community, only issues with people outside being upset over how "exclusive" it is because they want in.

20. free space:

feel free to ask me about any of my answers! i'll make a second post for the second ask game some other time. its currently 11pm and i have to get up early for morning classes yuck

[ID: banner reading "dni if... proship, transx/id, syscourse/discourse blog, anti-mspec lesbians/gays, anti-lesboy/turigirl more in pinned rentry. this blog is protected by the addams family, the de rolo family and co." in all black lowercase text. It has a grey cloud background. On the left is the De Rolo coat of arms with a cobweb in the top corner and symmetrically flipped on the right is the symbol of Vox Machina with the same cobweb in the bottom corner :End ID]

#cass rambles #disability blogging #actually disabled #physically disabled #cripplepunk #physical disability #cpunk #disabled #cripple punk #cpunk blog #answers

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moonjxsung · 2 months

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Star, got an update and it isn't a good one. It's early, so if there's any typos... Don't mention them please 😭

Girl, gotta sit down for this one, grab yourself some snacks while you're at it. Let's start.

We're gonna go back 4 days ago. When I last talked to you. After some thinking, I was going to ask him on Friday, I told my best friend this because she was the one person I knew I could trust (remember that little detail)

Let's call her hmm.. Charlotte, cause that's her actual name 😋

We've been friends for 15 years, so more than half of my life. I was telling her that I was gonna ask the guy out. Something that I should've caught was when she said he didn't like him at all, and that he was annoying. (She said this the first time I brought him up)

Anyway, when I was telling her I was going to ask him out, she was quiet so I asked "are you okay?" She said yes, but I obviously didn't believe her, but i changed the subject because I know she'll tell me or I'll ask her later when she's ready. Did I have a speculation after that? A little bit. But I thought if she liked him l, she would have brought it up a while ago.

Friday comes the day after, and I'm trying to pump myself up a bit, I texted him asking if he wanted to hangout and he said he was busy atm but he'll be free later. I was like "okay, good! More time to get these nerves under control"

I tried calling char but she didn't answer which I was a bit bummed about cause she's my rock, and I wish I had her support.

2 hours later I was getting antsy because char hadn't called back, and he hadn't texted yet.

I decided to go to my favorite Cafe, because it's a sort of comfort for me when I need it.

So I drive to the place, and walk inside. Guess what I see in the cafe? The guy I like and my best friend. Some might think "oh that's not that bad" and you'd be right except, THEY WERE FUCKING KISSING.

And it's not the fact that she was kissing him that made me mad, it was the fact that she didn't tell me.

So instead of being my comfort Cafe it just ruined my whole day. And instead of confronting her about anything I just left because I'll ask her about it when we're alone later because I think that's the right thing to do.

A couple more hours passed by, my phone dings but it isn't from Charlotte it's from the guy I like. He said that he's free now and that we can hang out. I didn't agree because I wanted to be petty (well..) I agreed because I wanted to know more, how long have they been together? Have I been talking to my best friend about her boyfriend? Is that why she wouldn't tell me?

We meet at a park, and I find him swinging on the swing set. I took the seat next to him and he greeted me. We had some small talk for a little while, I felt so guilty.

That's when I finally asked him the question "how long have you and Char been dating?" When I looked at his face he was confused.

He said "how did you know about that" so I thought I obviously wasnt supposed to know at all. I was a little hurt

I said "I saw you guys together today.." I kind of paused at that moment because it's kind of weird idk. "Kissing.. so" I said

He kind of just laughed so that's when I got confused. I asked him what was so funny and he replied with "today, she asked me today"

When I tell you my heart broke. This whole time I thought they were secretly together but no she knew I liked this boy, and she still went for him, she didn't tell me anything about liking him at all. I felt betrayed.

I just replied with an "oh"

He said " yeah, it was kinda unexpected. We barely talked but I thought she was pretty and wanted to know her more" yeah got to know her mouth good alright.

After that conversation we just went back to small talk, or talking about our childhood.

We said our goodbyes and I went home.

I cried myself to sleep that night not because I lost someone that I liked but because I was betrayed by someone I thought I could trust someone that I loved.

I haven't talked to her for the rest of the weekend she was pulling up my phone but I haven't answered. I don't know what to do. And I have to see them in a few hours 🤗

So... I came here, cause I know my shooting star never does me wrong 🫶

-💍

Me:

HUHHHHHHH???:!:!/!/!.!.!/!/!/!/!:!:! HELLO?????? DID I ACTUALLY READ THIS CORRECTLY????? Aur naur….. bestie……. Charlotte is cancelled. Like…… 15 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP and she couldn’t just be upfront about it?? Huh?????????? AND THE FUCKING GUY LYING ABOUT IT????? Literally what even was his plan like…. He was just going to go out w you WHILE he’s with charlotte?? Hello????? Why are men sooo….. the way that they are 😟

First I am literally beyond sorry that this happened to you, trust me I’ve had my fair of being two-timed and LIED TO by men and what I’ve learned coming out of it is that the fact it happened is a blessing in disguise because you don’t deserve to be with someone that shitty in the first place!!!! Like you fr dodged a bullet with this guy, if he’s going to lie about it all while FRESHLY going into a relationship w Char then he should just stay with her and you should live with your peace. I personally would give it a few days before talking to Charlotte again just to make sure you’re in the right headspace and it’s totally up to you if you even want to keep the friendship, but also don’t let some stupid man get in the way of what you have established with her. She’s a victim of his lying too if he wasn’t honest with you and she’ll learn in due time that he’s not a great guy either :( someone better will come along and you’ll know they’re better bc they won’t LIE about who they’re with!!! Chin up and keep doing you my angel, there are plenty of other fish in the sea (it’s me I’m the fish)

I love you !!!!! Take care of yourself and let yourself be angry about it but remember this is just a small bump in the road the universe gave you to avoid ending up w a shitty dude. Better things are coming 🫶💘💞💖💕💞💓 and in the meanwhile we are still married ‼️‼️

#💍 anon #ask

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just-a-mod · 10 months

Text

I played Soul Void : Redux.

starting this off with : this is a good review and a happy thing

i am putting it under a read more for spoiler purposes uwu

about 5 or more years ago, i first played Soul Void. i found it on tumblr, and thought 'wow, that looks interesting' and showed it to my at the time GF

we both sat down and played it, me watching her at first, before deciding i wanted to play it along side her and go through the experience

getting into this game, immediately i began to see parts of myself in it. struggles i've had, words i've heard from others and from myself. i looked at the characters around me and felt them resonate with me and i felt.

feelings. sorrow, grief. the want to help, compassion and the hopeful feeling of 'don't give up, it will get better!'

i wanted to help them, and in turn by the end of the game, wanted to help myself

that was 5 years ago

i haven't played since, and not for a lack of not wanting to, just not feeling i needed to. i still remembered The Seeker, i remembered how The Leech and The Waiting were. i remembered how it felt, and i continued on.

then i began to forget, but still, i didn't go back. 'not yet', 'i don't need it yet'. it felt like

lately, it's felt like i did. a refresher, a chance to...process? a chance to acknowledge 'hey, these are struggles. these are feelings, but they can be helped. they can get better.

then i saw Redux was coming out. 3-4 months or so ago, i saw the update was set to release July 26, and i waited.

i'd forget for a few weeks, remember, check the date, and then go back to the day to day, only to repeat the pattern a few more times.

yesterday, i remembered. yesterday, i checked the date.

yesterday after D&D, i threw myself into playing again. and it was everything i remembered it to be.

it feels, oddly enough, like a medicine. a kind of salve that stings and soothes at the same time. my mental health isn't (and hasn't been of late) the greatest. victories in some places, loses in others. but progress, i believe, all the same.

going into Soul Void, i get to see all of these people doing their best. encouraging each other, the player and myself to do our best.

seeing The Waiting, The Husk, The Seeker. The Leech. all of them

new faces too, people i hadn't spoken to before! people i had yet to befriend! places i hadn't' seen!

i stepped into the game and hearing new music, reading new dialogue, having a chance to laugh and feel pain and sympathy and 'oh girl, SAME' energy.

getting a chance to stare evenly at the Grim, to find them less scary and more funny this time around.

getting to help The Seeker.

getting to HUG The Seeker.

getting the necklace. having it in the real world. the message behind it.

(ngl i'd pay some amount of money for that necklace as merch, by the way, if not try to juts make it myself. just tell me how it looks and by golly i will figure out some kind of way)

but i sat, and i loved, and i teared up and cried. i felt an ache in my chest that was soothed the further i went in

i listened to my own words being so automatically offered

'you'll be okay'

it'll be alright'

'this will pass'

'you'll get better'

offered to pixels on a screen that held a reflective piece of something i can see inside of myself, and it reminds me to share those with myself.

Soul Void is a game that sits in a special place in my heart. along side shows like Inuyasha and games like Undertale. it is a game that changed my life in an important time, in an important way.

for years to come, i will revisit it. for years to come, i will remember how every one looks at the end of the game, when you've helped them all. when you've helped yourself.

i will be drawing art of Hugging Seeker.

(also i wish we could hug more people, like The Waiting and The Leech. im not upset we cant, i just also wish we could.)

((also also does any one else have such an emotional attachment to The Waiting because i stg i kinda wish we could just sit with him, as the veins stop pulsing? so he's just not...alone..? but idk that's me))

@kadabura from the bottom of my heart and soul, thank you for making this game. Thank you for updating it.

thank you for all the work you've put into it, and for making it a free to play game.

thank you for sharing it with the world, as this game is one of the most beautiful and cherished experiences i've had in my 30 some odd years of life.

thank you for making such a beautiful story and journey that can allow people like me to see kindness for ourselves

i was originally going to send an ask, but tumblr just does not have enough space in one ask for me to express my love for this game.

Thank you so much. i hope your days are filled with the joy and strength to keep getting new ones, and that your nights are filled with dreams of laughter and music

for any one who may be reading this and NOT know what this beautiful game is

and the beautiful soul who made it

Thank you @kadabura

Be safe and Be at peace <3

#justatext #justapost #soul void #soul void redux #kadabura #my two cents #this is a long thing and i am normally too shy to do this #but this feels important to me so im doing it #hopefully it doesmt come off weird haha;;#it also bares mentioning this game helped one of my daughters as well #she use to feel that she could only make bad things or do bad things #but this game showed her that horror and darkness can be beautiful too #that it can be kind and healing and helpful #she does alot of things relative to stardew valley now but with horror and im so proud of her #this game is important to me and my loved ones and i will continue to sing its praises until this mortal coil expires #also im serious aabout the necklace though i love that so much???#like fr if that becomes merch i will drop some amount of money for it #or at the very least if a design is released i will try to make one #i might try to make one any way given it has a description #i cant wear metal but by golly i will get leather thread > : ) ive done it before #im being al ittle silly but its becaues i just really love the ending okay #my discord icon is literally the leech and the waiting rn no joke

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drawing-way-outside-the-lines · 9 months

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☔ Raven

🌟 Malou

🍺 Evan

🌜 Willow

💃 Adrian

🐁 Dalton

📙 Andy

Thank you very much :D I'll do something I haven't done in quite a while, let them answer in person:

For a heavy, emotional secret. Raven: *Sighs heavily* Some men blood related to me, and not far down the blood line, abused me for many years. I had a sort of *hesitates* amnesia, it uh... I didn't remember till one of the perpetrators told me a while back. I wish I was still oblivious. I'm honestly not coping quite as well as I make it seem.

For a secret wish or desire of theirs Malou: *Chuckles awkwardly* well... *chuckles again* last year someone returned to my life. Someone I've been in love with since we were.... kids. Uhm yeah, he's a bit of a mess, and not good at answering on Facebook, but... he's both my secret wish, and desire.

For something bad/mischievous you did as a child or teen that your parents don’t know about Evan: *Chuckles deeply* once Andy, Daniel and I stole my dads brand new very expensive bottle of Vodka, drank it all, got really wasted, wanted to go to a party, but we didn't have money for neither more booze, nor cigarettes, so I called my brother Alex, asking if we could sell him a bottle of Vodka cause we bought the wrong alcohol, but already opened the bottle, so couldn't return it, however he could get it half price. He said yes *chuckles again* so we filled the empty bottle with water, and sold it to him. We got our booze and cigarettes, but I also paid later with a very large bruise on my upper arm after Alex found out he paid almost 70 bucks for water*chuckles*

For a ‘weird’ habit or tic that no one knows about Willow: *Snorts* I'm a pretty open book to be fair, so I dunno if there's anything I do that no one knows of? Well maybe there is, but not like it's because I keep it as a secret, maybe more the fact that I live alone, and I suppose I do stuff in my own home all the time that no one witnesses? Hm.... I eat Tabasco on wine gums when I watch pro wrestling, I dunno if that's considered a weird habit? Anyway, *shrugs* no one knows abut this cause I watch wrestling alone, since I don't know anyone who wants to watch it with me. Wusses *laughs loud and hoarsely*

For a talent that they like to keep hidden from others Adrian: *Annoyed sigh* I have 3 talents... 4.... which I don't really share with people, unless they are really close to me. It's not secrets, it's just... *shrugs*.... private. I'm private. I paint and draw, I play guitar, I sing, and I cook. All 4 fairly well. But I keep it mostly to myself, cause if others know, it always leads to some sort of social escapade, such as 'sing for me!'. *Frowns*

For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc) Dalton: Uhm *chuckles deeply* that's kinda sort of embarrassing *cheeky grin*... I'd rather not tell *chuckles more shyly* I have this lock of Malou's hair, I keep in my wallet, to always have a part of her with me, wherever I go when she can't join me. It sort of grounds me in a sense.

For a secret journal/diary they keep (Bonus: Share an entry from it!) Andy: *Cheeky hoarse chuckle* Who says I have a secret diary? I mean I have *chuckles cheekily* but who said it? *Cheeky smirk* ......... you're serious? *Chuckles more awkward this time, then reaches under his bed, dragging out a small dark brown leather bound journal, flipping a bit through it* .... alright *short chuckle* this is so fucking cringe man, I don't exactly expect someone to fucking read this yanno? *Chuckle* Uhm... okay... so this I wrote a while ago, but like within this month I think, there's not a date on everything... uhm yeah... *Starts reading the entry*

We learned to kiss silently Reaching into old fears Swallowed by this convenient illusion Selling canned dreams to bystanders And after all this pain After the smog clears You're still my favorite colors.

#ask answer #Raven McKinney #Brandubh McKinney #Malou Jensen #Evan Thompson #Willow Amalthea Shaw-Cullman #Willow #Adrian Blackwood #Dalton Red #Andy Shaw-Thompson #Andycorn

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astral-from-afar · 10 months

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Ooh nice to see a fellow Kamen Rider type of person

Personally, out of the three main tokusatsu, I think I watched Kamen Rider more than anything. I did watch all 3 equally at first but my interest went from Ultraman and Super Sentai (from when I was little) to more of Kamen Rider as I grew older.

I haven't watched much from Reiwa since I stopped watching Tokusatsu maybe 3 years ago. But growing up, my parents were into tokusatsu, so I was naturally shown a lot of it, lmaoo. I kinda stopped being open about it after some kid in third grade made fun of me for it 💀

After that, I became self-conscious about it as I grew up, so I told myself I had to stop watching it. My parents still watch it though, and they tell me it's good, but I don't have the courage to start watching again 😭 Lately I wish I didn't do that cause now I feel like I'm missing out on the fun lmao- it was really fun to watch because they tend to have a deeper/darker meaning to them, even if it seems to be for younger audiences at first glance, which I find neat.

I don't really remember much from W, since I watched it way back when I was younger, but I remember the acting was great (I think the actor for Philip was only 15 at that time? I've seen that guy in other J-dramas and his acting is amazing). I remember liking W but I just don't really remember what it was about. Maybe I should revisit it sometime.

I think my favorite was Den-O. I'm pretty sure I've watched all of the heisei ones but I can't recall all of the good ones that I liked. I do remember liking the 3 last Heisei ones which I believe were Ghost, Exaid, and Build, but out of those 3, I think Ghost was the best.

ALSO YOU ARE SO RIGHT the kamen rider soundtracks tend to be bangers

Oops I kinda talked too much about myself LMAOA (I tried to shorten this the best I could. i really did. I DELETED 3 PARAGRAPHS LMAO)

No way you used to be a fan AS WELL. Now I feel a bit embarrassed for recommending stuff. Also Den-o is top tier. Deneb is probably one of my favourite kamen rider characters just for how funny he is.

To be fair I was more of a Power Rangers kid growing up. I started off watching mega force when it was still airing and religiously watched the reruns of older stuff like Dino Thunder, which was my favourite.

I stopped watching after a bit because man are kids RUTHLESS. Some of them made fun of me so I stopped watching for a bit. Luckily I have younger siblings who were watching the show up on it so I became a casual viewer, mostly watching for my siblings and then lying at school the next day.

The reason I got into Toku was actually because of a YouTuber that I was subscribed to. I had 0 clue what kamen rider was and they were praising fourze so I thought ‘I’ve seen jojo part 4, this is practically that with superheroes’ and then proceeded to watch the series. I then moved onto the other series like ooo, build,gaim,W,Den-o,ex-aid and blade.

Funny story about my watch through of blade is that I had no context for where most of the memes in the fanbase came from so I watched Blade to mainly understand everything. I had gotten up to the final arc but had to take a break since mock season was going on. When I finished I remember that I rushed home and decided to watch the last arc, despite being very tired. Yeah big mistake. Who knew a bench could make Astral cry but it did

I’m wondering right now what series to watch now. The smartest decision is to probably catch up to the latest season but I’m probably going to wait until it finishes to binge it. I’m torn on watching a late heisei era show or trying to see more early heisei works. I’ll do what I do best which is spin a wheel and decide what to watch lol.

Nooo man you don’t need to shorten down your thoughts. It’s fun reading this stuff and believe me I’ve been holding back from spamming the dashboard with my random Toku thoughts so you shouldn’t worry about if you’re saying too much. If you want to get back into it the newest season of kamen rider is around the corner so you could start getting back into it from there.

#astra writes #i am no way shape or form intelligent about this topic #but it did give me severe brainrot during 2021 #luckily TR was able to get me to speak about something different #ask has been answered #ren 🗡️

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i-am-dulaman · 1 year

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Tell us about your dnd character ideasss!!

Okay SO.

The 3 ideas i have at the moment fall into 3 different kinda genres of dnd campaigns. Like one serious one for a lotr-esque game, one silly one for a monty python-esque game, and one in the middle somewhere around a thor ragnarok-esque game.

The silly one I haven't really fleshed out at all but basically she's a world war 2 nurse who has been magically transported to the dnd universe without knowing how. She's a 'proper lady' like character with all the manners of an upper class british woman of the early 20th century and takes to the rough and tumble adventuring life like a baby otter to water and all hilarity follows. Once she gets her bearings she dedicates herself to learning magic (wizard class) to get back to her true love, a sailor in the war.

The middle serious/silly one I've actually talked about on here before. I played him for like 2 sessions of a campaign (long story why we don't play anymore nevermind that). He's a total himbo, really dumb but really friendly and charming with everyone. Bisexual (obviously) and always happy to have a drink and chat with anyone at the pub. He's just an ordinary human tho, as far as he knows. Hes a potato farmer. And one day when ploughing the field he digs up an old rusty sword. When he picks it up, magic bolts fire forward from it. He thinks he's found a magic sword but actually he's a sorcerer and has been too dumb to realise until now, dismissing any magical things that's happened in his life before as something else (luck, someone else, random acts of god, etc.).

Then there's the serious one with a dark back story. I'm gonna tell this one in first person I think.

My name is Ký and 120 years ago my life ended. 120 years ago I met Betrand Dupont. Of THE Duponts. One of the wealthiest families in the kingdom. He was a young human of just 23 when we met, just married and a father to his newborn son, Jacques.

Betrand was of a noble heart and never considered me his servant or him my master. He introduced me as his friend to all his wealthy acquaintances. Imagine! Me a friend of a Dupont! He was kind and never asked anything of me that I would not offer. In fact he never asked anything of me at all. Actually that's not true. He asked One thing of me. Just one.

We met through chance, and through what I thought at the time was extraordinary luck on my part. A runaway cart hurtled down a steep road directly at me. My back turned and too focused on making my next sale, I was the none the wiser. Betrand saved me, pulling me out of the way at the last second. Looking back now, I wish that cart had flatted me into the cobblestone.

I am a Gnome of the kali culture, and when someone saves your life it is your duty to pay that debt. I dedicated myself to serving Betrand Dupont from that point on.

With his last words he asked the first and last thing he would ever ask of me. Take care of Jacques.

4 years after he saved my life I finally had a chance to repay the debt. A mugger had pulled a knife on him. Betrand was a proud man, and never one to shy from a fight. He deftly knocked the knife from the muggers hand and the two of them ended up grappling each other on the ground, wrestling for control. I picked up the knife and shouted at the mugger to let go. He didn't. So I stabbed.

The knife went in clean but not into the muggers back as I had intended. In the same instant of my thrust, the mugger and betrand flipped around in their wrestling match. The knife went straight into the back of Betrand Dupont.

How could I refuse? Why would I refuse? Not only had I failed to pay the debt of my own life I now owed him his. More than that though, Betrand was my friend and a great man I would do anything for, debt or no debt.

However i couldn't bring myself to admit to his accidental murder. I blamed it on the mugger. He was found, tried, and hanged. Another death on my hands.

And so it went, I would serve Jacques to the best of my ability to the end of my days, or his, whichever came first, humans dont seem to live very long afterall. He was a good boy in his early days. Kind and thoughtful. But the years took his toll on him. He grew arrogant first, then stubborn, and finally bitter in his old age. But he always treated me with respect at the very least.

But his kids. His grandkids. His great grandkids! The little shits. It seemed with each generation of Dupont they got worse and worse. They didn't treat me, or anyone for that matter, with respect. Corrupt, cruel, sniveling brats the lot of them.

Jacques had become the Patriach of the Dupont family, and I had become the head of his household staff. It was a large household to take care of. Jacques, his 1 surviving daughter, his 8 grandkids and their husbands and wives, and his 23 great grand kids. All in one house but it was my duty to care for them. So long as Jacques lived I owed him everything, but damn did he live a long time. He was 98 when he finally passed.

And now I was finally free. But now what? I had no where to go. For the last century I lived with and served the Dupont family. So I stayed, despite the horrible offspring I now served.

But with the death of Jacques the family seemed to become even more hostile. Gone was the respect I was shown by Jacques. After bringing Jean, Jacques eldest grandson and the new head of the Dupont family, the wrong suit jacket one day I received a beating. I couldn't walk for a week. Something Jacques would never have allowed to happen to me.

Those little shits deserved it.

Just a few weeks later while in the markets I was approached by a man. He offered me something I couldn't refuse. A way out. Enough money to buy passage home and more still to live comfortably for some time thereafter. He asked, knowing I commanded the household staff and the grounds, that I arrange for guards that night to be off duty and for the gates to be unlocked. They wanted, they claimed, to rob the Dupont household.

So. I did it.

I changed the guards schedules, and that night I fled with the gates left unlocked behind me.

As I waited at the docks to board my ship, hidden in my crude disguise of an oversized cloak, I heard it. The cries of fire.

Looking from the docks, the Dupont mansion could clearly be seen on top its hill, ablaze.

By the next evening it was revealed to all what exactly had happened.

Every Dupont, evey single one of them, was dead. Not by fire, no. The marble mansion was relatively unscathed by the fire once was all said and done. No, every Dupont was murdered in their bed, their throats slit. Even the babies.

I didn't know what to feel? Horrified? Or glee? They wouldn't hurt anyone again. Or at least that's how I justified my mixed feelings.

That night i slept on a pile of grain sacks at the docks, as all ship departures had been delayed for the time being. But i didnt sleep much, not because of a guilty conscience, no but because I was visited by the ghosts of the Dupont family. All of them. Including my beloved Betrand.

I couldn't look him in the eyes.

They all screamed at me. Their eyes were white but filled with rage. Betrand said I betrayed him.

The ghost of Jacques commanded me. I still belonged to him, he said. He commanded me to protect the one thing left of the Dupont family.

In a box, buried far underneath the mansion, was a treasure so important to the Dupont family that apparently even I, their closest servant for the last 100 years, didn't even know about it.

I was still not allowed to know about it, the ghosts told me. I was to protect the box for the rest of my life, but never open it.

So now I live in a crypt. The Dupont crypt where the family is buried. I hide the box in the grave of Betrand. The ghosts give me the demonic powers of a warlock which I used to protect the crypt at all times, usually by creating the illusion that the crypt is haunted. Which I guess it is. But it seems to keep out any curious eyes.

So this is my punishment. An eternity of living in a crypt surrounded by the hateful dead. Do I deserve it? Probably.

#i wasnt expecting that to be that long sorry #first time ive ever used the read more thingy #dnd #anyway thanks anon that was fun!!

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julien5-malfunction · 4 months

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26012024 LONG ASS RAMBLING/ VENTING. GET'S BORING AF.

I'm having the agressive flashes in my mind again bc my neighbours have been yelling and being loud for the past 5 hours and I do not cope well with unwanted noise.

I'm even scared of myself for the moment I might actually snap (someones neck). I allready saw it in my mind; me telling them to be quiet because it's late allready and them laughing at me because I'm a short, weak, little girl, what am I gonna do about it. Then :

A. Pulling a knife out and attacking.

B. Going back in to grab my airsoft pistol and aiming for eyes.

C. Letting the guy know that it doesn't matter if I'm small, I can yell real fucking loud if I want to and I wanna yell something like 'DO YOU WANT ME TO YELL IN MY APARTMENT TOO' or 'IF YOU CAN'T BEHAVE LIKE A MAN THEN GO SOMEWHERE TO ACT LIKE THAT' or something. Idk. I'm really bad at improvising effective insults when I'd need to cause some heart felt emotional damage. I hope that would at least cause damage to his ears if nothing else.

In reality I can't do shit. I can't do shit about anything. I'm a powerless, weak little scum, I just have to put up with this, if I snap I'll just embarrass myself. I don't wanna cry bc everything makes me feel like shit about myself. I don't even feel real anymore. My whole life is a joke and I don't think I'll ever get better. I really need to scream. Like I REALLY NEED TO SCREAM. I need to just fucking be somewhere where NO ONE can hear me breakdown. And I have to be certain that there is NO WAY anyone can know.

Last summer, I used to rent a studio. Just to. Be alone. Be somewhere quiet. Blast music so fucking loud. Scream my lungs shit. Literally the only thing that somewhat kept me from destroying myself in the shit pit that was 2023. The studio was taken down about the same time I moved out, about 4 months ago. I have no fucking relase from this pent up rage, it just compresses inside of me until I fucking spill and I destroy something again.

I miss my violent dreams... please, let me go lucid again I need to have control over something, my life is a lost cause. I want to. Do horrid things to non existent people in my dreams. I want to kill that one son of a fucking whore again. He fucking violated me and ripped me off. Stepping on shit isn't bad enough. I want him to fucking suffer. And I want to fucking destroy him over and over and over and over again. Bc I cannot. forgive. what he did to me. Can I just please have my vengence even in my crimson dripping dreams because I know I can't do shit in real life even if I did snap and go berserk on people.

I'm so sick of being weak and powerless and small and useless.

Non-threat and well meaning, always trying to help.

Just to get used and used and used and used and used again and again and again and again.

Nothing seems to make me feel better anymore, nothing makes the feeling go away. Nothing is satisfying.

I can't even sleep like a normal person.

I wish I knew what the fuck was wrong with me or how to fix it but I kind of don't want to and it seems there is so much wrong and broken, I'm like some infinite source of bad energy, I poison everything around me.

I have drug induced moments of 'not-being all of the above' but I dunno how I can fight it on my own. Being full of depressed rage is kind of all I know. All I can remember. Like an abusive home, but it's still home. I wish I could wipe my memory clean and try to make it better. I miss the days I was sick, back then I had a reason to fight. Now I kinda don't. I'm getting screwed over by the system that was supposed to help me. And I'm too stupid to find another way out of this myself. I wish I could. Wish I had a working brain and wasn't so god damn tired all the time. If I was smart I would use all this time to advance the progress on things I used to care about. It's been years and I still can't figure out what caused this. That nothing interests me anymore. That I don't care anymore. Eveything just sucks. And I should die.

Idk. I wish I had fucking drugssssss (and before you call me an addict, you can't assume that bc you dunno everything) it's the only thing that has helped me and I can't get any and what the fuck, how the fuck, I can't fucking cope with this. I feel like this is slipping back to what it was before, just all suicide suicide suicide in my mind, all the time. Alcohol and sleeping pills bc I can't sleep. I can't sleep again, the insomnia makes it so much worse and the pills don't work. I just want to sleep, I'm so tired all the time. I'm so tired please end me

#vent #i hate myself #trauma dump #insomnia #tw abuse #i guess #tw sh related #tw substance abuse #i don't fucking know #tw sui ideation #Don't tell me to get therapy #kill me

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fr0gb0gb0i · 8 months

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I feel like I've kinda given up on myself when it comes to finding a future partner. I just feel like I've made myself into someone that only a niche few would find attractive, and it really makes me wish I would've done things differently...

Looking back at older pictures of me, I used to be much thinner and prettier, I find myself wishing I was her again. I used to think I was so fat and ugly but good god, if I had the opportunity to go back and become who I was 4-5 years ago I'd do it in a heartbeat. I looked so much better back then. If I tell people how I feel, they usually just tell me one of two things: either "you're still beautiful now though" or "well then try to lose some weight", and neither of those responses really make me feel any better. I don't feel beautiful, I feel big and blemished and unsightly and masculine and just not attractive to most people. I wish I could easily lose some weight so I could feel better and hopefully look better, but my deep-seeded self hatred runs so deep that I'd probably still hate myself even if I did lose weight.

I want to look androgynous, I really do, but I also live in a podunk little midwestern town with little to no LGBTQ+ people in my area, so all the options I have in my area are just straight dudes. And I'm pretty damn sure that the majority of them would find me ugly and "manly" looking because of my haircut and lack of makeup, since I'm not skinny. I just wish I was more beautiful...

#personal #please ignore #don't reblog #vent #I'm just so tired of being alone #even my little sister is married already #meanwhile I'm 27 and all alone #I thought I'd be ok with being on my own but I'm so lonely

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itsfoxycleopatrainthehishouse · 1 year

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Update of soap opera of my life (this is honestly just for me to vent) so anyway my boyfriend of 4 years left me a couple months ago cause he couldn't handle emotion for like a week. But anyway remember he broke up with me right because he thinks he can become a rapper. He said I was holding him back like motherfucker I literally let you move in with me for two years cause his mom lost the house and he had nowhere else to go. This bitch the entire time said he was homeless cause he said it was my home not his. Then he finally moves out with his cousin cause him and my sister were butting heads they did not like each other. I felt bad for the cousin because my boyfriend wasn't holding down jobs cause he was entitled AF cause his grandma was rich but when she passed the aunt took all the money and he actually had to start living like a normal ass person. So he was a shopaholic and couldn't save for his life. Like as I'm typing it out I kinda feel like I dodged a bullet. But I was blinded by love cause I legitimately thought I could change this man I was in love with his personality but he did such dumb shit and had a terrible dream but damn the fucking abs and shit but anyway I'm getting away from myself. He has been calling and texting me constantly acting like the victim like he didn't break up with me. Like he didn't make me feel like I was so used and fucking hurt that his dumbass broke up with me. You see he's allergic to hard work. That's all I do. I'm a construction worker I work usually 60hrs a week and have my own home I just bought it last year I was renting it before that and he has the nerve to tell me that I have it easy that everything was just given to me. I work so hard to afford everything I have. I just feel so belittled by him. He says he wants to be friends he broke up with me like I was so hurt I felt so alone. He broke up with me the weekend after my sister's funeral. The house was so empty it was my sister and my niece in the house with me then my sister died and my niece went to live with her father I had just never felt so hurt lost alone and just rejected. I felt unlovable. And he destroyed any hope of me caring about anyone probably for the next 3 years lol. But I think I'm finally focusing on myself for the first time in a long time the sadness helps me understand priorities. At least I was smart enough not to go back. "Sadness is caused by intelligence, the more you understand certain things, the more you wish you didn't understand them." -Charles Bukowski.

#soapoperaofmylife

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thedysphoriadiaries · 1 year

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Entry 4 - Game Time - 17 February 2023, 12:48am

Today passed without much fuss. Great, I suppose, given how I woke up from yet another dream in which I was a girl, or, at least, doing gender-affirming things like using the right washroom. TMI. Yes.

Some might say that dreams are stupid, that they don't make sense. Others say that dreams are telling of things going on in your life.

I don't know what to think. Even scarier, I don't know how to think about it.

All I know is hate, and...

I hate the fact that I'm so hopelessly attracted to girls. That, or, being hopelessly attracted to the prospect of becoming one. A part of me wishes I could be... normal, whatever that means.

I just don't get it. Someone I know underwent knee surgery, and still came out being... more positive than I am.

I've gone through nothing compared to them. Just some first-world issues called gender identity. I'm just a stupid guy who wants to be a girl.

...

It's no secret that I hate myself. I hate being everybody's rock. I was there when my brother couldn't handle himself in an abusive relationship (he was abused, emotionally). I was there when my father spat into my grandfather's face. I was there when mom threw dad's iphone into the floor, seven or so years ago, when he became depressed after an ankle injury, and couldn't work for awhile. I was there when people told me to fuck off with my “sperm guitar”. I was there when mom was stressed out with work.

...

Nobody was there. Nobody was there for me when I hit myself. I only stopped when I could not take the pain.

Nobody was there for me when I admitted I couldn't feel anything. I shut up about it. Eventually apathy becomes a blessing.

Nobody was there for me when I helped my brother out with his relationship. I went to sleep worrying about him, especially after every episode of his ex emotionally abusing him. I feared for his life; like me, he's sensitive. And she hurt him. Irreparably. I see it in his eyes, how scared he is to be vulnerable. So, I bring out his vulnerability, with Gyoza (my stuffie duck). But I digress.

Will anybody be there, for me?

Do I even want anybody there, for me?

Those words sound so foreign, that, I have to make sure I'm willing myself to say them.

Honestly, if you're reading this, go fuck yourself. I don't want you around. I just want to be alone so I can be put out of my fucking misery. Killing me would be a mercy, compared to having me be around, as everybody's rock.

I can't do this anymore.

I don't want to, anymore.

...

them: “Prioritize life! Come to us, and don't die.”

me: “Why? You've got your second-chance woman here.” (I played a support/healer character, if it explains anything.)

them: “Because we'd be in a 2v3! I don't care what binary you are in.”

That's... kinda true - whatever I identify as doesn't change the outcome of a virtual fight.

Still... it got me questioning.

And, inevitably, it all leads me down to the same question:

Why am I like this?

...

That was the same question my ex-partner asked me. In her exact words,

her: “things happened that led you to be this way”

her: “we gotta look back in time to see how that problem showed up”

me: “what if I told you...”

me: “it just happened, when I was 7?”

her: “cant be it just happened 🙃”

so...

...what happened?

I wish I knew.

Do you, for one moment, think that I'd want to keep ogling girls?

That I'd want to feel lovesick for a life that isn't mine, because of how I was born?

That I'd want to keep envying people of the opposite gender, so much so, that I'd get envy over a fucking animate flower in a fucking video game?

gosh.

...why?

What is wrong with me?

... Is the very concept of me, wrong?

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shachiruka · 3 years

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#maybe it was a mistake to reread those youth fiction books again that made me think about love and stuff #it did make me have another one of those dreams. you know one of those where i finally fall in love with someone who shockingly even likes #me too! and then you feel warm and loved and then you wake up and it's back to being lonely as usual #just a bit worse since the memory lingers even if it wasn't real. and then you feel like the world's most pathetic heap of trash #bc of course you keep thinking about the dream and try to bring that warm feeling back although you shouldn't #ah man... and after that i found a website where i could read the missing volumes of the series #(i used to have all 5+1 volumes except the 2nd but i already took them to a fleamarket once years ago where i sold only the last 2) volumes #but reading the last one made me remember that i felt alienated even back then bc the main character who was p relatable to me #fell in love towards the end of volume 4/was with her bf in volume 5 and i could not relate to that anymore #and the one girl i felt i could relate to anymore bc she was the only one without any interest in boys and love and relationships #well she fell in love too (with a girl which was a nice change of pace in the literature i read but still. wasn't my experience as well and #made me feel even more alone and stupid for not being like anyone else)#hhhhhhh... usually i like being ace as a concept but tbh there are so many moments where i just wish i could be like p much everyone else #around me. asking myself why i can't fall in love with a nice boy or girl since my mom already asks about both when it comes to this topic #or at least to understand my friends instead of feeling uncomfortable and trying to hide it bc i also want my friends to be able to tell me #things that affect them! i feel like i'm such a bad friend sometimes... like i can listen to talk about their partners and details about #love lifes and stuff for a while but i've also caught myself thinking 'sounds kinda disgusting when is this over?'#and i feel i should show more interest but i just don't know how bc i'd kinda rather talk about anything else #anyways... maybe i'll at least have another nice dream tonight even though it's only smoke and mirrors #i am sorry if anyone had to read this stupid moping tho. i just don't know where to stuff my thoughts sometimes #rukarambles #personal

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huge-enthusiast · 3 years

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Miraculous fic recomendations!!

This is just an excuse to show all my bookmarks? Yes. Yes, it is. I'm pretty sure most of this fics are really popular, but try see if you find something you didn't knew about!

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don't put the author's tumblr is because they didn't put it in the fic or/and I couldn't find it.

Pairing: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

knowing you by emsylcatac (they are not really the author of the fic but that's the account that says in the fic, the actual author doesn't have an account).

After dropping their transformations months ago, Marinette and Adrien see each other for the first time after being apart. They've both left too much unsaid and have to work to pick up the pieces of their confused hearts.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal but mostly ladynoir, light angst with happy ending.

the last day on earth by Reiaji

The first time Marinette sees Chat Blanc, she's fourteen years old. The second time, fifteen—the third time, seventeen.

The closer she grows to Adrien, the harder it is to save him.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, kinda heavy angst, hopeful ending.

tell me something i don't know by carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?

The odds of having a soulmate are about negative one billion (or something like that). But somehow, like they always have, Marinette and Chat Noir find themselves together. They’re ready to finally tell each other everything, but it turns out that even soulmates have to keep secrets, and while their bond draws them together, duty forces them apart.

Chapters: currently 17/28 (WIPs can be exhausting but this one is 100% worth the wait!)

Mostly marichat but almost all of the lovesquare sides make an appearance, soulmates au, mostly fluff but it can get angsty if it wants to.

One Thing After Another by SKayLanphear

Marinette notices that, sometimes, Adrien acts a little out of the ordinary--like the time he stood in a cardboard box for no reason, or when he actually hissed at Nino. It's only when she starts to notice the similarities between Adrien and a certain feline that she begins to get suspicious.

Basically, Adrien acts like a cat when he probably shouldn't.

Chapters: 15/15

Mostly adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, miraculous side effects (by both sides wich is really cool!), it's fluff with a lil tiny angst for drama.

This would take some getting used to by Codango (@codango here on tumblr!)

Adrien peeked out from behind the chimney even as the magic of his own Chat Noir mask fell away.

She was still visible, her dark hair bobbing under the street lamps a couple blocks away.

“Marinette.”

Adrien blew out a confused breath. His fiery Ladybug… was the quiet little mouse who sat behind him in class?

“What. The.”

This… would take some getting used to.

Chapters: 8/8

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Adrien's part, awkward flirting, just fluff, nothing to worry about.

comfort food also by Reiaji!

In Marinette's house, cooking is a language of love, and Marinette loves Adrien more than most.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette with a little of ladynoir, super super fluff, a lot of insight into Marinette's chinese heritage.

The right side of his face by walkingonthestars (@hamsternamedmarinette here on tumblr!)

Marinette and Adrien are able to remain in their new seats in the back of the room at the end of Chameleon.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette, fluff with light angst.

it's a long way forward so trust in me by aloneintherain (@captainkirkk here on tumblr!)

“You’re not the only strong one around here, Chat,” Marinette said. She looked a little winded, but she wasn’t struggling to hold him up.

This close up, he could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose. He could see how that smug smile lit up her eyes. He could feel the strain of her arms—and wow, okay, he really wasn’t the only person around here with muscles.

Six times Marinette carried Adrien (plus one time he carried her).

Chapters: 1/1

All the sides of the lovesquare! Fluff with LOTS of mutual pining.

a fight that you were born to lose also by aloneintherain

When the prosecution starts throwing around the word victim in reference to Adrien, he has to stuff his hands under his thighs to keep himself from bolting out of the courtroom.

Adrien had felt unsafe during those last few weeks, but, until he had woken up and seen Father silhouetted in his bedroom doorway, that had only been paranoia. Father was controlling and cold, but he wasn’t hateful. Adrien was isolated. He was often hungry. And some weeks ago, when he had snuck out to visit Nino, sitting thigh-to-thigh on his bed while Adrien cried in that silent, crumbling way of his, he hadn’t argued when Nino put a hand on his shoulder and said, tentatively, That’s abuse.

But Adrien remembers being small and Father touching his hair after he’d aced another test; Father holding his scribbled drawings like they were something precious, and framing them around his office; Father, dressed as Hawkmoth, his eyes wild behind the mask, lashing his sword against Adrien’s baton; Father, collapsed against Mum, crying into her ashy hair.

Adrien finds out Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action.

Chapters: 1/1

This one doesn't really focus in the ship that much as is an Adrien character study and an exploration of his relationship with his father, but they're still there so I put them here. Really heavy angst (this is one of this fics that haunt me in the middle of the night) with a happy ending. ❗TW: parental abuse, eating disorders❗

Supercut by LNC

Marinette loves her friends and Adrien can't deal.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, again light angst, an exploration of Adrien's insecurities, Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves the world, happy ending.

Madame Snare by jettiebettie

“Sounds like a lot of work for nothing. She should take this as a sign to have a relaxing weekend with no responsibilities.”

“It's a lot of work she put her whole heart into. It wouldn't be right for it to go to waste,” Adrien whispers to him. The look on Marinette's face is enough to cause Adrien's own heart to ache. If anyone deserves the satisfaction and pride from a job well done, it's her.

“Too bad there isn't anyone else who can walk in those death traps,” Plagg says. Adrien hums in thought, tapping his chin.

“I could.”

Chapters: 1/1

Marichat, episode-based, Chat Noir in a dress!!!, light angst but it's mostly just idiots being idiots and a lot of fun.

in the same sun by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

"It’s hard to believe that I saw you last at the peak of summer, when the sun was close and warm - and so were you. It should go without saying that I miss you. I miss you something terrible."

"It’s been seven months to the day since I’ve seen you. I wish you were here more than anything else."

Two letters, signed with initials instead of names, found in Paris, France.

Chapters: 1/1

Ladynoir, just angst, that's it, written like letters. No ending, just pain.

an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles (@ladyofthenoodle here on tumblr!)

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Chapters: 1/1

Ladrien, it says it's crack, and don't get me wrong, is super funny, but I also found it sad as fuck?

An Open Secret by Kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Chapters: 4/4

Post-reveal... but is it? Mostly adrienette and ladynoir, fluff with light angst and them being absolute idiots at hiding their secret identity.

golden (like daylight) by okayanna (@anna-scribbles here on tumblr!)

Friendship, Adrien decided, shaking off the mental image of Marinette’s hurricane eyes and hesitant mouth, parted in a small, careful “o.” He had a very strong friendship with Marinette. That was all.

Adrien thinks a lot about words, love, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Chapters: 1 + epilogue

Adrienette but has lots of ladynoir, another Adrien character study because I hate myself, it tries to not be angst but the writing will punch you in the guts and make you cry, it's so good.

Strangers in the Bright Lights by poodles (@ladybeug here on tumblr!)

Adrien is about two drinks in when he sees a girl at the end of the bar wearing black cat ears. It's kind of weird, so he watches her, and although it's crowded he can see her face when she turns around. She’s wearing a Chat Noir mask. He takes a quick look around- nobody else is wearing a mask. Just her.

Adrien finishes his gin martini and heads over to her. He could use some company tonight anyways, he hasn’t told anyone he’s back in Paris and Nathalie won’t arrive in town for another month. And it’s been a rough day, okay? A rough move! He’s not sure he wants to be back yet, and he spent most of the day in the Agreste mansion sorting through some photographs of his father he found in the study. Maybe he wants a drink and some stranger to tell him he’s pretty! That’s not a crime, is it?

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette but it's also ladrien??? I think??? It's super super angsty but they're both drunk the entirety of the fic so it's also really funny.

Pick-Up and Chase by also SKayLanphear

After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans.

A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.

Chapters: 10/10

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, it doesn't say it in the tags but I'm pretty sure the characters are much older than they actually are in the show, so much fluff and so much flirting.

Pairing: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe

Nino Has Done Nothing To Deserve This by GuardianKarenTerrier (@guardiankarenterrier here in tumblr)

It's nothing, really- just an innocent comment, a joke. But when they hear it, Nino and Alya come to a realisation.

There were, in retrospect, dozens upon dozens of hints. Now that they're suddenly aware of all their friend's flimsy excuses and rushed explanations, they're not only sure how they've missed it, they're not sure how anyone else has either. They realise that it had to be magic protecting their friends- and that same magic has ceased to work on the two of them.

Well, this means they'll just have to start watching over their friends themselves.

Chapters: 7/7

This is more a found family fic than anything else, Alya and Nino are the mom friend, has light angst but it's mostly identity shenanigans in the most bizarre way. ❗TW: eating disorders❗

christmas lights by demistories

Nino checks up and down the street, checking to make sure there’s no raging akuma headed his way before he crosses quickly and ducks inside the small café. He closes the door quickly before the icy air can blow inside and tugs his beanie down over his ears. He spots Alya sitting alone in the corner.

Chapters: 1/1

Just fluff!! Really short but really sweet.

hold on, i still want you also by Missnoodles!

Written for the @thedjwifizine ! Wich I also recommend if you wanna binge a lot of djwifi fics while also looking at amazing art!!!

Five times Alya ran into her ex, and the one time he stopped being her ex.

Chapters: 1/1

Light angst with a happy ending! I don't really like the ex-lovers to lovers trope but this one is the only exception.

I will continue to expand the list in the future! But by now I hope I was helpful in the search of new fics!

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jungwonenthusiast · 3 years

Note

hi ! enhypen smut prompt request ! can i have the reader whos a female say #4 with jake or sunghoon whos a hard dom ?? if u can , can u add how the reader and the partner are enemies who got lots of sexual tension so they kinda trease e/o a lot with words and actions ? u dont have to use that plot but thank u♡

A/N: This is one of my favorite works now lol i hope u like it :) <3

Warnings: unprotected sex, rly brief oral (f recieving), degredation

Word Count: 2.9 k

“But it’s a Tuesday,” you tell Jay while zipping up your backpack.

“So?” he says. “Don’t be lame.”

“I’m not lame, just responsible.” you sing your bag over your shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s lame.” he walks with you to the lunch tables. Jungwon and Heeseung are already there chatting it up.

“You guys are coming right?” Jay asks them and they nod. “See? You gotta come.”

“It’ll be fun noona,” Jungwon says. “And you have to come because Heeseung hyung and Jay hyung are probably gonna leave me for girls.” he rests his head on your shoulder for a moment.

“Why don’t you get yourself some girls too.” you suggest and he shakes his head.

“I’m too shy.” he says quietly and you giggle.

“Alright fine, I’ll go.” you finally say and they all celebrate. “Jake’s not gonna be there right?”

“Uhm,” Heeseung looks over to Jake’s lunch table nervously. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?” you cock an eyebrow.

“He won’t be there,” Jay says. “It’ll be fine.”

You feel someone bump into your shoulder as you walk to history.

“What the hell?” you say and turn around to see who the culprit is. Of course it’s Jake. He shrugs with a half smile. That fucking ass.

After a few more classes you head home and start preparing for the bonfire party. It’s at a beach so you decide to wear your favorite bikini under your shirt and shorts. Your phone begins to buzz and it's a facetime call from Jungwon.

“Hola~” you greet him.

“Hi~” he says. “Can you take me there? My parents are at work.”

“Sure.” you say while putting all of your essentials into a purse.

“Also,” he hesitates. “I think Jake hyung is gonna be there.”

“What? How do you know?”

“I heard him talking about it during p.e.” he says quietly and you groan.

“Fuck, I don’t wanna go anymore.” you say.

“No you have to go, I will die without you.” Jungwon pleads. “It’ll be fun, we'll just stay away from him.”

“It’s gonna be hard to stay away from that giant ego taking up the whole place.” you roll your eyes.

“He’s not that bad noona, he’s actually pretty nice.” Jungwon shrugs.

“Don’t betray me like that,” you scold him. “You’re on my team alright?”

“Okay okay.” he surrenders, giggling.

You pick Jungwon up and give him the aux for the 30 minute drive to the beach.

You guys groove to SZA together.

Jungwon rolls down the window while you're on the highway and sticks his head out like a dog. He kind of is like a dog (in a good way). He’d be a shiba inu.

“Whoooo!!” he screams as the wind whips through his hair, you smile.

When you get there you park your car and get the beach towels from the backseat.

“Did you put sunscreen on?” you as Jungwon and he shakes his head. “Why do you never listen to me?”

You get a bottle of sunscreen out of your purse and rub a dollop on his face. He scrunches his nose.

“It feels like you're rubbing cake batter on me.” he complains.

“You’ll thank me when you’re fifty and you aren’t a wrinkly wreck.” you tell him while spreading it over his cheeks.

“Can we be done now?” he whines and you sigh.

“Fine.”

You two approach the crowd of people suntanning, drinking, playing volleyball, and playing in the ocean.

You drop your stuff next to Heeseung’s and Jay’s before looking around for them. They’re playing volleyball with who on the opposing team? Jake Sim.

Jungwon must’ve noticed you shooting lasers through your eyes because he grabs your arm. “Come on, let’s go swim.” he tugs his t-shirt over his head and jogs over to the water.

You follow suit, only feeling a little self conscious about stripping with Jake Sim only so far away. But it’s only because you don’t want to be vulnerable in front of your worst enemy, right?

Jungwon’s already relaxing among the waves when you get to the shore. “Why’d you go so deep?” you call out to him.

“It’s not that deep,” he says back.

You swim around with him for a bit before forcing him to look for pretty shells with you.

He gasps. “Baby crab!” he rushes to pick it up. “Look.” he holds it up to you.

You try to pet it without freaking it out. “What if it bites you?”

“It won’t, we’re friends.”

The sun is nearly gone by the time you’re done shell searching and swimming so you head over to the bonfire. You wrap a towel around yourself and snuggle up to Jay. He scrunches his nose.

“It’s cold,” you defend yourself.

Heeseung hands you a white claw and you crack it open.

“What are we doing now?” you ask but you can’t hear Heeseung’s answer over the sight of Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Niki sitting right across from you. You notice how the bonfire highlights the muscles in Jake’s chest and arms. The warm orange light washing over him makes it look like he’s glowing. Is this what Apollo would’ve looked like? “Huh?” you ask Hee.

“We’re probably just gonna play dumb highschool games.” he says.

You inhale and take a big swig of your seltzer.

“Truth or dare time~” Bree sing songs. “Sunoo truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Sunoo answers.

“Do you have a crush on anyone and if so, who?” she asks and he rolls his eyes.

“I have a crush on myself.” he says confidently.

“Fair enough, you go now.” she says to him.

“Heeseung hyung, truth or dare?” Sunoo asks.

“Dare,” he replies and Sunoo giggles.

“Give your phone to Jay and let him text anyone anything he wants.”

Heeseung groans and throws his head back. “Oh God.”

Jay cackles an evil laugh. “Gimme.”

Heeseung reluctantly hands Jay his phone. “You’re gonna text Sophie aren’t you.”

Sophie Morales, Heeseung ex. They broke up only a month ago after half a year of dating. This was about to be brutal.

“You know me so well.” Jay smiles.

“Please don’t say anything too horrible.” Heeseung pleads.

“Sophie,” Jay narrates his text message. “I miss you and your huge tits. Also I’m sorry for not telling you while we were dating but your feet are really fucking ugly.”

Heeseung buries his head into his hands, laughing. “Fucking Christ.”

“And your breath stinks,” Jay continues. “At least your boobs are nice.”

This is what I get for befriending males. You think to yourself.

“Alright that’s enough.” Heeseung snatches his phone away while everyone giggles. “My turn since I was the victim. y/n, truth or dare?” “Truth,”

“What’s your biggest regret?”

“Becoming friends with Jay, because he’s insane.”

Jay guffaws. “I’ve been nothing but good to you.”

You roll your eyes.

The game goes on for a bit until it lands on Jungwon.

“Noona, truth or dare?”

You’d usually go for truth, but you didn’t want people to think you were boring. “Dare.”

“I dare you and Jake hyung to talk to each other in private for at least five minutes.” he says, crossing his arms.

Your eyes widen and you look over at Jake, he looks like he wants to drown himself.

“What? Why?” you ask urgently.

“Because I’m tired of you guys hating each other for no reason. Now go.” Jungwon shoos you away.

“Yeah go talk.” Niki says to Jake.

Both of you don’t budge. Jay tugs at your arm. “Come on, Jake and y/n becoming friends!”

The whole group starts chanting. “JAKE AND Y/N BECOMING FRIENDS!”

You had to admit that their enthusiasm was kind of endearing, so you swallow your pride and walk over to the lifeguard tower. You hear him not far behind you.

You climb up the stairs and let your feet hang over the ledge of the patio.

He sits down next to you.

You let a few moments of silence pass before speaking up. “I don’t want to be here as much as you do, so let’s just wait for the five minutes to pass and then go.”

“Damn,” he says. “Do you really hate me that much?”

You roll your eyes. “What do you think?”

“What did I ever do to you?” he scoffs.

“I don’t need to justify my feelings.” you cross your arms.

“Why are you so dense?” he grumbles.

You whip your body over to him. “I’m the dense one?”

“Yeah,” he says proudly. You want to slap the smug look off of his pretty face. Normal face. Slightly, almost, barely good looking face.

“Such a prick,” you mumble, turning away.

“What’d you call me?” he scrunches his eyebrows.

You look him right in the eyes. You never noticed how dark and piercing they were. “A fucking prick. Cause you are one.”

His black hair is still damp and poking into his eyes. His lips are parted and they look so soft that you almost want to kiss him. But he beats you to it.

I should push him away. Push him away you dumbass. You kept telling yourself but you couldn’t do it. His lips felt too good against yours.

Your arms snake around his waist as he lays you onto your back.

You wish you had a hundred hands so you could touch all of him. Two weren’t enough. He feels like silk and he tastes like red velvet.

He pushes your jaw up so he can get to your neck. You exhale as his tongue dances on your skin. He grinds his hips into yours and you let out a small moan. Why are you letting him affect you like this? Idiot.

“I thought you hated me?” he smirks while kissing your chest.

“I do.” you breathe out.

“You sure?” he asks, his fingers traveling down your stomach and into your bikini bottoms.

“Mhm.” you say.

He kisses your collarbone. “People you hate don’t make you wet like this.”

That just makes you throb even more.

“Fuck off,” you say and he backs up.

“Really?” he says. “Because I will.”

You roll your eyes and pull him in by the back of the neck.

“Touch me,” you say and he happily obliges. You knew were in public but it was dark and honestly, you didn’t care.

“Such a slut,” he says while running a finger up and down your slit. “If you wanted me this badly you should’ve said so sooner.”

“I don’t want you asshole.” you breathe out as he circles your clit.

“You just asked me to touch you princess,” he kisses your neck. “I think that’s good evidence.”

You rub your fingers through the back of his hair and tug it back, exposing his neck. He lets out a small moan. You kiss his neck, sucking and nibbling every now and then. When you pull away there’s at least three red blotches that go from his throat to his chest.

“People are gonna see those you know?” he says.

“Whatever.” you roll your eyes.

“Are you marking me or something? Telling everyone that I’m yours?” he boasts.

It’s confusing how your anger is feeding into your lust for him.

“Shut up and fuck me.” you say and he cocks a brow.

“Maybe if you ask nicely,” he kisses your cheek sweetly. You want to wipe it off and slap him in the face.

“Who do you think you are?” you scoff at him.

“Come on dont play with me,” he pushes one finger into you and you moan. “I can tell that you want it.”

It was true. You were practically gushing.

“More,” you say, wanting another finger.

“Where are your manners?” he smirks.

You swallow your pride. “Please?”

“Good girl,” he says and it sends tingles down your spine.

He pulls your bikini bottoms to the side and rubs his thumb up your slit. “Such a pretty cunt.”

Your thighs are already trembling.

“I really thought you’d still be hating me right now.” he says lowly. “Do I make you that weak?”

You snap to your senses for a moment. “Fuck you.”

“I am.” he snickers and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t give me attitude princess.” he warns you with a dangerous smile.

“Or what?” you test him.

“Do you really wanna find out?”

“What do you think you’re intimidating or something?” you ask and he scoffs.

He sits up and grabs your arm. “Get up.”

“What?”

“Get up.” he says sternly and you do.

He grabs your hand, leading you somewhere.

“Where are we going?” you ask, agitated. If you really didn’t want to go you wouldn’t, but you secretly wanted to continue what was going on.

“My car.”

“What? Why?”

“You’ll see.”

“Hey! Where are you going?” Jungwon calls out. “Don’t leave me!” “I’ll be just a second!” you reply with an unsure smile.

“Backseat.” Jake says as you approach his Mercedes.

So bossy, you think.

You sit in the back seat and before you know it he’s pulling you into his lap.

“Let’s continue shall we?” he says and you don’t waste any time getting your lips on his.

He pushes your hips down onto his and you whimper. You were already so wet and this was just making it worse.

“Please, I can’t wait any longer.” you say, not being able to hold it in.

“For what?” he nips at your neck.

“I need to feel you inside of me.” you plead.

“That’s better.” he tugs his shorts down and pulls your swimsuit to the side.

You grab the base of him before slowly sinking down. “Fuck yes.” you moan in relief.

He fills you up perfectly and his tip brushes your g-spot every time you bounce.

“So fucking tight.” he growls, holding onto your hips tight.

Your legs begin to tremble from the pleasure so he grabs you by the waist and lays you on your back.

He snaps his hips into yours and you whine.

He smirks. “Look at you all spread out for me,” he kisses your neck. “Taking this cock deep inside you.”

Your fingers trail down to rub at your clit. “Please don’t stop.”

He flips you over into doggy and tugs your hair, bringing your ear up to his mouth.

“Tell me how bad you want it.”

“Really bad,” you whimper.

He smacks your ass and you let out a small squeal.

“Touch with yourself while I fuck you.” he lets you go and you rest on the door. Your fingers move to play with your pussy.

His hands are tight on your waist as he pounds into you.

You feel your knees start to give out and your cunt start to pulse around him.

He chuckles. “Are you close sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” you exhale. “Please make me cum, please I need it so bad.”

“Why should I think you deserve it?”

“Please, I can’t hold it any longer.” you say and he stops his movements completely.

He gets close to your ear. “You get to cum when I say so okay?”

You accept defeat. “Okay.”

You start to get more and more flustered as he continues to fuck you just right.

“Fuck Jake I can’t,” you whimper and hold onto the car door for dear life.

He pulls out suddenly and you complain before feeling his tongue on you. Your body tenses up from the pleasure.

“You taste so fucking good,” he says and you arch your back, pushing your pussy into his mouth. He moans against you.

After only a couple circles on your clit with his tongue, you’re ready to come undone. You grab onto his hand.

“Wait wait I’m close,”

And before you can utter another word he slams his cock into you and brings his hand around you to rub your clit.

“Cum on this cock sweetheart, I know you can do it.” he encourages you.

He smiles as your moans get louder and more high pitched.

Your legs start to shake and he grabs you tight. He comes up to your ear. “Be a good girl for me won’t you.”

Your eyes roll back as bliss runs through your entire body. He was probably the best lay you’ve ever had.

Your body goes slack as he cums inside of you.

“Fuck,” he growls and slowly pulls out. He picks you up and holds you in his arms as you try to ride out the trembling.

“How am I supposed to clean up?” you ask.

“Maybe you can swim again?” he jokes and you punch him in the arm. “Do you still hate me?”

“One hundred percent.” you say confidently.

“Are you kidding?” he scoffs. “My kids are in you right now.”

You fake gag and he laughs.

#enhypen smut #Jake smut #Jake sim smut

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