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ppnuggie · 2 years

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Hello, I do hope you'll have a great day! I really like your writing style, it feels fresh and nice! Can I request a oneshot with G1 Astrotrain and his future s/o? S/o has been in love with him for a long time. Being higher and plumper than a usual human, they're afraid Astrotrain may not like them. S/o thinks so much on both why they should and shouldn't confess, that one day they just overwhelm and cry inside the bot. Sorry, I love some hurt/comfort! If that's too specific, you can change it!

　　　　　　ASTROTRAIN x gn human reader

　　　　『　astrotrain ,, gender neutral human reader 』

　　-> messy relationship stuffs w/ astrotrain

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort ,, angst

　　— i didnt make it to where they feel he wont like them for their body type ,, as i try to make my fics as inclusive as possible :D but to where they feel astrotrain wont like them for being human ,, bc he’s a decepticon and theyre more known and prune to hate humans ,, but tysm for requesting ! 🥹 need some astrotrain content in life 🤲 this is quite long so just a fyi !! <33

butterflies always fluttered in your stomach any time he spoke ,, voice unique and different from what you heard before. the mech before you had kept talking about something you werent all that sure ,, too mesmerized by his ruby optics to even think about what he was saying. it was definitely about humans ,, and nothing too good at that.

oh how your heart had wished for him ,, nights wasted pondering about what your relationship with him could look like. yet ,, your heart squeezed tightly every time he belittled your species ,, how he went into detail of how much he despised their existence. it hurt ,, knowing the one you desired so much would never accept you.

it almost brought you to tears ,, focus turning from those deceiving optics and towards his speech and words. he kept on talking about wishing megatron would hurry with destroying the human race. how they dont do anything and definitely dont deserve their lives nor their planet. it wasnt until skywarp had came up to him did he stop his painful speech. you didnt bother to pay attention to skywarp’s message ,, too caught up with trying to blink away tears.

“ really ? fine ,, (y/n) come with me .” the mech grumbled as he glared at skywarp’s form in the distance of the hallway. your head perked up at your name ,, jumping to your feet as you quickly followed astrotrain down the opposite sude of the hall. “ where are we going ,, astro ?” you asked using the nickname you gave him ,, curious to know about the sudden location change.

“ megatron wants me to collect something from the constructicons ,, nothing too special ,,” he huffed and crossed his arms. he muttered something under his breathe ,, catching the words ‘stupid’ and ‘useless’ and ‘megatron’ and ‘hate’ from his mumbled speech. you shrugged your shoulders and kept to yourself ,, thoughts retracing to what they were before.

there was a lot of complications. you loved astrotrain ,, so very much you did. yet ,, it wouldnt ever work out between you two. as much as you could fantasize and wish and pray and hope ,, nothing good would come from confessing. there was never a good time ,, the mech seemingly to always be in a horrible mood lately.

as astrotrain transformed you quickly made your way into his alt mode and buckled up ,, blocking out the noise from around you. it wasnt long till you got lost in your mind once again. pondering over the pros and cons and the fake scenarios of you confessing. so much could happen if you were to reveal your true feelings.

curse it all. it certainly wasnt fair. you always wished to be cybertronian ,, hoping that then you would be able to be with your loved one. but you couldnt ,, he wouldnt bare being with a human ,, let alone you. there was so much wrong ,, but as much as you searched for a good outcome you'd never get it. your little scenarios only ending with you dead or heartbroken. you hadnt noticed a tear slip by and roll down your cheek ,, planting itself on one of astrotrain's chairs.

" hey ,, did you spill something on me ?" the mech grumbled ,, already in a bad mood previously. your eyes widened as your hand smudged the tear drop away ,, quickly denying him. " no no ! i didnt !" you dried the wet spot in a rush to prove his accusation wrong. " then what was it that had touched me ?" he huffed ,, flying in a straight line through the clouds. he kept his focus on the direction he was going ,, not really bothering to pay attention inside him.

" nothing ,, it was nothing ,," you reassured ,, voice breaking just the slightest bit as you said that. curses ran through your mind ,, degrading yourself in your own thoughts. " hey ,, are you alright ?" the mech asked ,, suspicion obvious in his voice. " your voice sounded a little strange just now . you better not be sick !" he added on.

" no ! i'm not sick !" you waved your hands in the air ,, your voice caught in your throat as it cracked up a bit more then before. " i'm perfectly fine ,, i promise ." there was a few moments of silence before he huffed again. " i dont believe you ,, im pulling to the side right now and you better tell me whats wrong with you ."

and so he did. just as he had said ,, he changed course from flying in a straight line to readying himself to land. once he made contact with the ground the seatbelt around you unbuckled and the door opened. a sigh fell from your lips ,, complying with the stubborn decepticon and making your way out of his alt mode. he transformed ,, quickly grasping you in his hand gently and holding you up to his face plates.

" now ,, what's wrong ? youve been quite silent since when i first picked you up earlier ." he interrogated you ,, not giving you the moment to answer. " did something happen ? did someone say something ? tell me who it was and ill have a word with them ." he grumbled at the thought of someone even being the slightest bit of rude to you. sure ,, the decepticons werent fond of humans but most the cons enjoyed having you around.

" its nothing ,, i promise astrotrain ,, its not that important ." you kept avoiding his questions ,, not wanting to confess what you were actually thinking about. you were too worried that your scenarios would become reality. the mech pondered a bit ,, thinking over your words and reaction ,, before starting to piece together things.

“ was it ,,” he started out ,, optics looking away for a secokd before returning to your own eyes. “ was it something i did ?” astrotrain couldnt think of anything he might’ve done wrong to upset you. sure ,, he often complained about your species but he never meant any of it towards you. he couldnt bring himself to think badly of you.

the thought of even doing something to cause you emotional pain only bruised his spark. you’d been one of the few who actually saw him for more then another random decepticon ,, as more then a space shuttle or storage unit like the other decepticons had. you actually took the time to talk and listen ,, spend time with him. it felt nice ,, having someone wanting to take their own time and spend it with him.

your breathe hitched in your throat ,, tears brimming your eyes for the third time. “ no ,, it wasn’t anything you’ve done .” you casted your head downwards ,, avoiding his glance towards you. “ then what is it ?” his head tilted to the side in confusion.

“ please tell me ,,” he frowned ,, optics softening upon your form. “ i just want to know ,, (y/n) ,, please tell me whats wrong .” his speech became a bit slower ,, voice lowering as he tried to pry at your invasive thoughts. you ,, on the other hand ,, were sure he would reject you immediately the moment you did tell him. that he’d throw you and leave you here in the middle of nowhere. yet ,, with how soft his voice was ,, you felt you had a small chance. a tiny sliver of hope. that maybe ,, just maybe ,, he’d see you no different or bring you harm.

“ fine ! but ,, just promise me that you wont be upset ,,” your eyes stared into his optics ,, seeking trust and hope in them. he nodded ,, not speaking a word. “ okay ,, well ,,” you didnt know how to word it ,, casting your glance aside once more. “ i kind of like you ,, astrotrain ,, like a lot .” you bit your lip ,, waiting to see if he’d say or do anything ,, yet nothing happened.

“ and i can understand if you dont feel the same ,,” your tears were ready to burst by now ,, the agony awaiting you and your heart pounding heavily. it felt torturous ,, he didnt even say anything or react just yet ,, only urging you to continue. “ and i know that i may be human ,, that you dont like humans ,, but i want you to that i love you. i love you so very much ,, and it hurts to know that you wouldnt feel the same .” a few tears had already slipped down your cheeks ,, voice cracking as you continued.

“ so ,, you can do whatever you want . kill me or leave me out here or something ,, but id rather you know that i cherish you more than anything in this universe . i cherish and love you more than i love my own life . i love you astrotrain ,, i love you a lot .” you finished ,, tears streaming down your face as you refused to look at him. only imagining he’d be looking at you with disgust ,, trying to think of a way to rid of you the quickest.

instead a soft pat to your head was what you had received ,, and his voice speaking up. “ is that true ?” he asked ,, watching as you lifted your head. he could see the pain in your eyes ,, the sorrow they held. a small nod was all you gave him ,, not bothering to do anymore then just that. his mouth dropped just a bit ,, before turning into a soft smile.

“ dry your eyes ,, little one ,, i wont be harming you nor abandoning you here . you wont have to worry about that ,,” he brought you closer to his faceplate. he gave you a soft kiss ontop of your head ,, optics full and heavy with adoration. “ there is no need for all this . im happy to hear you feel the same as i do ,,” he gazed down at you.

you were left flabbergasted ,, the small sliver of hope had sought to be true. your hands smudged against your eyes ,, drying yourself as you returned the smile to the mech. “ you feel that same ?”

“ i have for a couple of your earth months . just because you happen to be human never changed my feelings for you ,,” he replied as he set you down on a platform. he quickly mass displaced himself and brought his arms around you ,, pulling you into a tight hug. “ i never would’ve thought id get to see the day where you’d be in my arms ,, and yet primus grants me such a gift .” he whispered ,, frame warm as you kept your arms tight around him.

the panic you felt earlier replaced itself with relief ,, happy to know that those scenarios never became reality. the mech pulled away for a moment ,, optics taking in your features before grasping ahold of your face with his servos. he gently brought the two of you together ,, planting a kiss upon your lips.

#transformers x reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader #🌄.g1 #g1 x reader #transformers generation one #transformers g1 #x gn reader #astrotrain x reader #transformers astrotrain #g1 astrotrain #🌄.astrotrain

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fuck-customers · 2 years

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Finally quit my awful fast food job a while ago. I was finally able to cut my hours without losing my position so i could focus more on school, but i was still struggling and my job was just /killing me/ even tho by then i was working 10hrs a week instead of my usual 20-25+ during a semester. I would work a 5hr on Saturday and Sunday, but more often than not I was the ONLY manager on shift bc no other shift managers were scheduled and the gm always had things to do during my shift specifically, especially during the two hours I had 5-8 people, and having 7/8 was a VERY lucky day. Not to mention very few of the crew on my shift were cross trained, so if i was short someone in service or in the kitchen, i was just fucked. And I didnt get the proper recognition either, except by the coworker who I sometimes handed my shift off to who said I gave him a good shift bc i tried to use my very last hour, typically the only hour i had enough staff to do so, to stock and clean for him bc i couldnt deal with the idea of getting bitched for a messy store even though I just wasnt getting staffed like i shoulr by the scheduling manager and GM. Im also a very feminine presenting person who is short, not very strong, and is in my early 20s so being the only manager (and sometimes one of if not the oldest) in the store was also incredibly stressful bc i had to be scared about getting the wrong kind of pissed off customer. They started cracking down on every little thing the last few months too- exact uniforms, phone use, /daily deepclean walkthroughs for every shift manager every time they run shift/... It was just exhausting. My last straw was getting a week suspension over something incredibly petty when i was already so damn exhausted. Ive literally had to clean feces off the wall at this place before, and had to deal with so much bullshit from higher ups and worked my ass into the ground just bc i was scared i had no other opprotunities. So glad i finally said fuck it. Im doing so, so much better.

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spikeinthepunch · 11 months

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few posts ago i was made thinking about past cosplays i had, and honestly i realized i forgot... a lot of them??? i pretty much only thought about my last two bc i did them most multiple times and i liked them most. those were dipper pines and wirt. i still have my legit (heavy as fuck) wwii nurse cape for that and i like it a lot.

but i want to go through a list of what i recalled now bc its fun seeing the timeline of fandoms that it reflects. these are semi-chronological, some i dont know exactly when they happened but its in the same-ish era

Holo from Spice and Wolf - i am quite sure this was my first. One of the earliest animes i watched on youtube, and i got a orange wig, made ears out of cardboard, and had a decent tail i got at a furry con. tho i had no clothes that fit, i just wore my normal clothes lol.

Medusa Gorgon from Soul Eater - Hard for me to determine if there was something before this but i am p sure this came before the next ones, as it was 7th grade and before tumblr fandoms i got into later. i bought this cosplay entirely online so it was p good. But i remember wearing it to school and kids making fun of me.

Zacharie from OFF - a little vague on timeline again. I quite liked this one. i had a black wig and made a mask out of paper. i didnt have anything else like a sweater for it specifically. (this cosplay lasted for a while through 9-10th grade)

Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians - iirc this was The First for the tumblr fandoms i got into, bc technically i got into it pre-tumblr and then went to tumblr as my first fandom. however i didnt really 'cosplay' him properly, i had no wig or staff etc. it was 'casual' w a cosplay sweatshirt i bought and that was it. (this cosplay lasted for a while through 9-10th grade. also note at age 16 i cosplayed him light again when i dyed my hair white)

Swag onceler/teen Swag - i nearly forgot this one lol. i didnt have the blue glasses, but it was his highschool one as i had the white button up and pink sweatervest. i dont really remember how much i wore this though.

teen Oneler - another onceler AU guy i cosplayed very lightly but also not for long.

Dave Strider - i only really cosplayed him at first before i read homestuck bc my friends assigned me dave strider lol. i did get into it eventually and i went to anime expo a few times to the homestuck meet, and met a really nice john egbert there too.

homestuck OC "Doubie" (i cannot recall the last name lol) - decided to cosplay my homestuck oc, made my own horns! but i never got far enough to make my custom shirt or anything. (from here forward i really dont know what order these are in)

Sherlock Holmes from Sherlock BBC - yeah. i have a very cool expensive high quality coat though. like REALLY good. i still intend to wear it but its never cold enough here in socal lol.

Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler - i had wanted to cosplay him in middle school, but couldnt bc i wanted to buy the intricate outfits. i was able to get one of the black outfits tho i recall not having all of it? like maybe just the top? idk. i had the rings too and a wig. it was alright and i also owned the classic brown shoes too as i intended to get his normal outfit but i didnt. was frustrated this cosplay wasnt as good as i wanted for a variety of reasons. (note: i cosplay at "casual/modern" version from that meta episode a year or two later when i dyed my own hair navy blue)

Alois Trancy, modern/BTS episode Black Butler - there was a like, behind the scenes/modern/meta episode in the anime, and being blonde i wanted to cosplay him casually. "casual" cosplays for me were fun bc i felt i could be the character all the time and it wasnt weird. i also own Alois' ring too.

Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Nightvale - one very significant cosplay for me tho i think i only did it at a con once, but it was a big one w my friends at the time in highschool, a friend cosplayed Carlos and all of us just really loved wtnv at the time. i was blonde and could fit the role, i had the vest, purple shirt, glasses, and had painted eyes/etc on myself. i did a photoshoot w my friend who did Carlos. I did the whole cosplay to holloween at school. it was a fun one.

Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls - i liked this one a lot and it was very very simple and lightweight, so i did it a lot going forward as i drifted from other fandoms. had shorts, shoes, vest, hat, and wig to match. I cosplayed him further when i dyed my hair brown at one point.

Wirt from Over the Garden Wall - the last thing i cosplayed. i did this one to anime expo twice i think but good god was it hot for that summer con. the cosplay was simple enough i didnt mind it but the cape was heavy- it was a real wwii nurse cape, as that is what wirt had. its genuinely so cool and i also intend to wear this casually like thw Sherlock coat but again, it is never cold here lol. had the whole outfit for this one tho- shoes, pants, shirt, suspenders, hat. i still own all of it and i would cosplay him again for sure.

i think this is it. i love cosplay and a lot of these mean a lot to me and define so many fandom eras for me!! and my attachment to characters is really really strong.... being them in some form always made me so happy and its why i still think about cosplaying some time again.

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tangonmarga · 1 year

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It’s.. it’s been a long time since i wrote something on here.

2022, well, it was different. But im gonna walk you through it - put you on the loop.

I spent january this year chasing my then-boyfriend. Don’t know who it is? Of course not, but you believe me if i told you. It’s the dude i liked my entire junior high. Thats right. I dated my crush. Shit was way different than i had imagined - but its done. Anyways, he often hurt my feelings bc he was a very tactless person. He was ugly too. The cum face was unbearable. Sorry to that man. I ended up leaving him, only realizing i wanted him back. I chased after him for some reason. Spent the last of my money on his expensive ass medicine. Went around looking for a specific kind of drink he wanted. Did all that only for him to tell me “what’s not clicking?” Like the fucking asshole he is. That was when i realized i didnt want to do anything with him. I wanted him gone from my life. And he is gone, finally.

Then the next few months happened. I got assaulted twice in the same year. The first time, i realized it only after a few months. I had hooked up with my senior high school crush then. I told my friend dexter about it and he said “why are you so grossed out by xx but you’re so happy about yy”. Then i realized why i slipped into a lot of self-loathing of xx. Its because i didnt consent to it. I didnt want it. I didnt enjoy it. It was fucking traumatizing. I fucking hate every moment that memory crosses my mind. I wish i never had to go through it. The second time it was also with a friend who i trusted naively. Idk why the fuck i decided to go with him. It was the wrong fucking choice. I only realized it wasn’t okay when i drunkenly called my ex-bestie about it, and he told me it wasn’t okay. The trauma for this one was so bad because every time a room would be completely dark, i’d be scared shitless and i’d teleport back into that fucking bedroom. I fucking hate it so much. I don’t know why i had let that night happen.

Despite it all, i was able to date someone. We lived in together, he let me drive his car, i bought him an expensive ass wallet, a lot. Shit ended ugly tho. He ended up man handling me. We would often get into screaming matches.

I hate myself when im angry. When i have to raise my voice in certain situations. I really fucking hate it. To realize that he brought out that version of me makes me fucking sick. Makes me hate the person i allowed myself to become just because of him.

Dont get me wrong. I didnt want a relationship. I wasnt ready for a relationship. Which made me wonder, why the fuck did i ever force anything to develop between the two of us? Even when i got an ick on the first date? If i could turn back time, i honestly would. Because fuck that situationship for real. Makes me so fucking upset he brought out the worst in me. Making me feel all fucking worthless. Like im always the bad guy. He stole my friends from me too. What kind of fucking person does that? He’s so fucking greedy. He doesn’t give a fuck that my friends no longer hang out with me as long as he gets to hang out with them.

I fucking hate the fact i ever dated him. It was the worst fucking emotional and mental turmoil i ever had to fucking go through. Beat my relationship with gg on a whole mile. Yawa jd kaayo gyud. Ngano man kong nipatol adto niya?

The amount of emotional labour i had to do. Even when he knew my mental state. He’s such a selfish fucking person emotionally. He’s so fucking greedy in the name of “love”. Like what the fuck kind of person makes u feel guilty about leaving them? About wanting some time for yourself? What a stupid fucking situationship. He accuses me of not knowing him when he has this narrative of me being the worst fucking person. Fuck that man for real. I wish all my exes bad luck. I dont care. I know I’ll get guilty once the karma hits them - but shit doesnt happen just because karma wants to. Shit happens to people because they deserve it. The universe thinks they deserve it so its gonna hand it to them.

If im getting my karma. Thats fine. Im the type of person who knows i dont make a lot of great decisions so if karma goes my way, ill let it happen as it should.

I dont know how im gonna move forward from all of this. Ive been feeling so fucking lonely ever since he fucking stole my friends from me. I dont know what to fucking do but i hope i bounce back better when i get back to duma.

I wanna stay optimistic. I wanna have something to look forward to. And yet all ive done since the break up is be so self destructive. I kissed pp, and have him reject me weeks later. Then i hooked up with bb and nn. Then i had kk pick me up and we made out for a bit. He confessed on new year’s but idk i really dont want to deal with anything. I didnt want to do anything with nn because i didnt like his build, his personality is too fucking kind its actually the fucking worst 😭 made me reminiscent of the dude i dated this year. Its always the fucking nice guys who give the most emotional labor so im avoiding nice guys. Or guys in general.

Im in a man-hater phase rn. Fucking pp is crushing on a girl who tried to set me up with him. Yawa. Worst fucking feeling ever. Yawa jd kaayo. It made me see how much of a fucking asshole he is. And i dont wanna deal with him na jd because of how awful he is. Yawa. Pero i might give him cookies still when i get back? Im not sure. I probably will.

I dont know. Im just not bothered to entertain anyone but i am still talking to bb for some fucking reason. It’s probably gonna die out soon. Or probably not. Being with him is fun. But i hope it wont cross to the relationship level. Ill probably just decrease the amount of texting we do. Shits too risky. 2022/3 marga would know why. Hahahahahaha. If something bad happens out of this, you know im gonna either edit this post or make a separate post.

I still dont fucking know if 2023 is gonna be good. Its just making me anxious. Im writing this long ass post knowing i havent finished my plates yet. I havent done anything remotely productive. I dont know why im so fucking depressed. And normally, when i write, i feel a bit better. But only my mood changed. Im not as fucking depressed as i was a few minutes ago but my fucking soul still feels like it has weights on it. Shits so fucking heavy.

I think im still not over the fact that i had to go through months of whatever he put me through shit was so fucking tiring. I did not have to go through that. I did not have to go through every single thing he put me through during and after the relationship. I think my biggest takeaway from all of this is the fact i can feel And see the change that happened in me and it wasnt for the better. I lost so much of my light and life because of him. This is the only relationship i could ever completely say i wish i got back the person i was before him. Yawa jd kaayo. Ambot makalagot nga ing ani na akong state karon. Unta mabalik akong gana sa tanan. Kay sa tinuod lang, nawala gyud. Maka disappoint jd kaayo ang outcome bwiset.

Yawa huhuhuhuhu unta madayon akong mga gi look forward sa 2023.

1. New hair color and hair cut

2. Motor pls

3. cookies for all my friends

4. Mental stability

5. Reclaiming my old self

I really just want to bring the person i was before him. I just want peace. I just want to feel better. I just want to be productive again. I just want to be better.

Ive been rambling for the past few paragraphs as u can see but im just typing as much as i can until i finally lose the dreadful feeling weighing down on me because honestly i still feel like shit. Yawa huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

I wanna buy a new vape but i think that also contributes to why i feel like shit so i might quit. Im gonna try hard and quit this year because my nicotine addiction is unexpected and unwelcome and i want to be better about it. So i might actually stop vaping. Please God make me stop vaping 😭

Im also so fucking upset because i looked forward to writing something on tumblr hoping it would make me feel better but the dread isnt going away. I want to feel better but i really cant im so fucking sad and upset and i hope its just the estrogen jud but like this has been going on for months and i honestly just need to meditate and be more accepting of my fate and have to look forward to things because theres so much to unfold for 2023 and i really really really hope my looking forward doesnt go in vain. I love you world. Please dont let me down.

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vampkomori · 3 years

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anyone else think neo’s reports are weird about composers i think theyre weird about composers. lets make sense of joshuas status as composer and hazuki as comparison

this is gonna be a bit long. so anyway the og reports are p straightforward about what Composers (specifically, joshua) can and cannot do:

- Joshua can only pick up Hanekoma’s vibe, because Angel vibes are too high frequency for him to pick up

- Inter-planar contact (so, communication between the UG and the Higher Plane in this case) is difficult, which is brought up because

- The Composer, Joshua, only resides in the UG.

- But the Producer, who is an Angel, mainly resides in the Higher Plane, and only occasionally lingers in the UG.

The whole matter of jumping between worlds highlights the difference between their abilities even more:

- As Composer, Joshua is one of the beings who can jump between worlds, but isn’t meant to do so often. His vibe dipped too low, so Hanekoma had to come retrieve him, because as an Angel this sort of travel is simple for him.

the OG reports make it pretty clear Joshua isnt an Angel

*But. unfortunately its not that easy. because by clearing the final time trial joshua gives you an item called Angel Feather (天使のハネ in JP), of which the description says “Our buyer used divine means to acquire this mysterious feather that was once in the possession of Shibuya's Composer.“ (which some have interpreted as, “in the possession of” meaning “it was given to him” potentially by hanekoma, who actually IS an Angel)

and if things are vague, we turn to the JP to clear us up! but its. still vague there bc it says “バイヤーが特別な力で入手した渋谷エリアのコンポーザーが持っていた謎の羽根“ (The mysterious feather that was held/carried by the Composer of the Shibuya area that the buyer obtained with a special power)

so. we are none the wiser about whose feather this is. i imagine its up to interpretation whether its joshuas feather or hanekomas, who then gave it to joshua. but given how clearly the reports differentiate between the Composer and Angels in regards to their abilities, suffice to say theres two interpretations that are most likely

- Composers arent Angels, their power disparity is just too much

- Composers are Angels, but theyre so much weaker compared to the Angels who reside in the Higher Plane that they’re never referred to as Angels, just as Composers

which takes us to neo, and hazukis little lightshow

i think its notable that the reports dont comment on kubos so-called “exorcism”, and only on haz erasing his noise.

haz himself refers to his little stunt as “exorcising” kubo, while in JP he actually says haiki 廃棄, get rid of, revoke, invalidate.

i think its important that he clarified “i didnt erase him, i exorcised him”. because with kubo, the executor, being an Angel from the Higher Plane, a Composer shouldnt be able to erase someone of higher ranking than them. i think as the person who called upon kubo in the first place, haz could specifically revoke his services and send him back to the Higher Plane.

which means kubo wasnt erased, he was just sent back. hes still kickin

we could leave things right here as they are. Canonically, Composers are so far beneath Angels to a point where even if they were Angels themselves, they are so much weaker than them that they could hardly be referred to as such

this is where the facts end. but im gonna keep going and have fun speculating about things and include some i dont have physical proof of (yet)

its notable that in JP, hazuki says that kubo tried to purify shibuya probably because he wanted to be praised by Hazuki. which is weird if kubos supposed to be higher ranking than haz. (in EN, haz just says hes always been an overachiever) but lets put a pin in that for later 📌

which takes us to the matter of Shinjuku’s Producer. or their lack thereof

throughout all of neo’s reports, there is not a single mention of Shinjuku having a Producer. before neo, we kind of assumed every UG’s setup follows largely the same structure. a Composer, a Conductor, a Producer, and then some Reapers. but Shinjuku does not seem to have a Producer. and i think its because it doesnt need one.

its important to remember Who is writing these reports and Who theyre for. the reports are written by shibuyas Producer, and theyre written for the Higher Plane. and shibuyas Composer cant pick up the vibes of any Angel except hanekoma, so he cant be the one writing the reports for beings he cant even pick up the vibes from, especially since he only resides in the UG.

and yet, hanekoma comments that Hazuki should have filed a report, and that haz is disinterested in the lower planes.

in English its a little vague about who hes talking about, but the JP specifies Shinjukus Composer as the subject of this sentence.

throughout both reports, the UG and RG are considered part of the lower planes. its strange for a Composer to have no interest in the very planes they govern, plus for a Composer to file a report to the Higher Plane when its been established that Joshua, as a Composer, cant even perceive anyone from there.

so i think Hazuki may actually be a proper Angel from the Higher Plane, who was potentially demoted to become Shinjukus Composer.

though you can very much interpret haz “exorcising” kubo as simply “sending him back whence he came”, its of course pretty anticlimactic to see this massive laser beam essentially disintegrate kubo on a molecular level, only for it to have been a quick ride back to the higher plane with kubo being perfectly in tact after. if haz were actually much more powerful than an ordinary Composer, itd make sense why he would have been able to erase an Angel like kubo so. thoroughly.

this would also explain why kubo may have wanted to be praised by hazuki in the JP dialogue. with hazuki potentially being an outlier for Composers and being far Higher ranking than kubo, our executor may have wanted to sucker up a bit. maybe get promoted and away from his “basically a janitor” job if haz puts in a good word for him upstairs

theres also hazukis entire demeanor, and how Bad he is at acting like a normal person

we know of four paths that Players can take

they can choose erasure

they can choose resurrection to return to the RG

they can become Reapers

they can become Angels

and Reapers can eventually become Angels, though its yet unclear if the only way for that to happen is

for them to become Composer (potentially the Lowest Angel-rank there is) and thats it.

or if Composers can ascend and become Actual Angels and eventually reside in the Higher Plane, though how a successor for the seat of Composer is chosen in that scenario is yet entirely unknown since Usually the seat only becomes vacant when the previous Composer is defeated

or if they, as a Reaper, need to Ask the Composer who then asks the Producer to send a guy for evaluation or something

or if the Higher Plane has like, a talent scout guy somewhere.

potentially more than one may apply but at least the last point is the most likely, because

Conductors are invited to the Higher Plane (probably to become Angels) upon purification

(interesting to note that Composers are not mentioned as being invited, which would point to “theyre Angels, but like, weak-ass Angels”)

anyway, the point is that so far weve been told that Angels were Players or Reapers at one point. we know Joshua was a Player for sure, given the morsels of backstory we get from him and Hanekoma. but we dont know if All Angels came from the RG at one point, or if Angels that have always been Angels exist.

either way, the point is that for Hazuki to act so non-human like and to be disinterested in the UG and RG, he either must have been an Angel for a very long time, or he was never human to begin with.

this is relevant to how he interacts with joshua in the Secret Ending, though its a lot less obvious in English, in JP their dynamic is clear: Joshua is his senior, and as his junior, Hazuki looks to him as an example.

for one, thats hilarious. secondly, that recontextualizes like everything

‘course, you could keep the interpretation that theyre just Both weak-ass angels and hazuki just made kubo use a flashy dramatic elevator to the HP and nothing groundbreakingly powerful happened, but thats kinda anticlimactic

so. staying w the idea that hazuki may be a demoted Angel from the Higher Plane, then itd make sense for Joshua to have been Composer for longer than him, and for haz to act Like...That, since he couldve been not-human for a Very long time, or Never was one in the first place, but is still a younger Composer bc he got demoted like. 4 years back or something.

it also explains why Shinjuku may not need a Producer, and why Hazuki is the one writing his reports. its because hes still an Angel from the Higher Plane, so he does not need an intermediary to contact other Angels.

so to summarize what im tryna say here

Hazuki may have initially been a regular Angel from the Higher Plane, before he eventually got demoted to become Shinjukus Composer, despite how disinterested he is in the UG and RG. (he is considered to be “infamously unsympathetic”, a trait which is reinforced in the JP version to be something he is known for amongst the Higher Plane, which could potentially be the reason for his demotion)

Since hes Joshuas junior, that means he hasnt been Composer for as long as Joshua has, so Hazuki looks to him to know what youre even supposed to do/how to act/etcetera as Composer. With his Special circumstances, he does not need a Producer as an intermediary to interact with the Higher Plane, because hes already an Angel so he can do it himself.

whatever Angel Hierarchy there may be, Hazuki is at the very least a higher rank than an Executor, considering how kubo wanted to impress him, and how haz effortlessly got rid of him. with kubo being from the Higher Plane, joshua is decidedly lower ranking than kubo, and cant even pick up his vibe. which clearly positions haz into a unique circumstance as a Composer bc of this discrepancy in ranking and power. amen

<><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><>

theres other things that back this up but i unfortunately do not have a source for them, so This section, take with a grain of salt.

Supposedly, in neo’s data files:

Joshua is referred to as an Advanced Angel

Kubo as a Junior Angel, and

Hazuki as a Senior Angel

i only heard this secondhand and have no way of corroborating this myself, but if this is true then that lines up with the super long super sexy little essay i just wrote up there

this “ranking” solidifes Kubos position as Hazukis underling. which, if he were an ordinary Composer, wouldnt even be possible.

Joshua is notably a different rank from Haz, though its difficult to figure out if “Advanced” is supposed to be Lower than junior, or Higher than senior. thats up to interpretation until its possibly ever acknowledged,

but my interpretation is that an Advanced Angel is lower than a Junior Angel. i think “advanced” in this case is meant to refer to the traditional evolution of players to reapers to the composer, advancing from one status to the next.

**Little post-edit, @/inkerii gave me the actual designation in the files! (so this ones backed-up!)

so in the files, theyre designated ranks are as follows

Joshua: 男、天使上級 ※前作 (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel ※from the Previous work)

Hazuki: 男、天使上級 (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel)

Kubo: 男��天使下級 (Male, Junior/Lower Grade Angel)

so haz and joshua are the same rank bc theyre both Composers! since thats an internal data text kinda thing it might not have any bearing on like, potential Technical exceptions since they Are both the same “job”, but mightve gotten it under different circumstances.

as for kubo potentially being lower ranking than even a Composer, i think unless we find out what a Producers ranking is, we cant say much abt whether an Executors lower or higher. i kinda mean it in the sense of, Producers are a Composers subordinate bc they follow their orders and have to create the things theyre tasked to make by the Composer (pins, etc), but may still be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the Higher Plane/jump between parallel worlds, while a Composer cannot. an Executor may be in a similar position where theyre a Composers underling, tasked by Composers to purify things, but may actually be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the higher plane, etc!

i think regardless of whether kubo turns out to be lower ranking than joshua or not, hazuki could still be Even More Higher in a way where he actually has like, sway over whether he could get a promotion! if that was his intent. he could also just be a huge suck up. a real kiss ass. teachers pet for angels

---

theres also the ntwewy Official Guidebook, which has a small comment beneath hazuki that says

and i additionally remember an interview, though i dont have a source for this claim and i could very much be misremembering, but i recall seeing the reason for hazuki not being the final boss is because they did not think players could suspend their disbelief far enough to accept that the twisters would be able to defeat a being from the Higher Plane.

which is perfectly reasonable, but

Composers are meant to be able to be defeated by Players or Reapers. if hazuki really was so powerful that itd be impossible for them to defeat him, then hed be far too strong to be an ordinary Composer, since thats. how you take over in the first place. thats kinda the whole plot of og twewy.

anyway that concludes my case

#neo twewy spoilers #neo twewy #ntwewy #the world ends with you #twewy meta #hazuki mikagi #twewy composer #vampymori.txt #(uses my gay little brain to figure out a way the neo reports dont retcon lore) BEHOLD....#i like this bc its funny as hell to think haz like. did something to be DEMOTED?#SORRY THAT CONCEPTS HILARIOUS TO ME #i didnt talk abt it much but the fact that hes called Infamously Unsympathetic #and in JP it additionally implies that the Higher Plane thinks this way of him as well #that means. they hated his ass so much they were like GET OUT #oh another thing. i didnt know where to add it #but in neos social network joshua is referred to as 'a being from a Higher Plane'#its notable that it says 'a' not 'the' Higher Plane (capitalized) bc the og reports do say the UG is on a higher plane than the RG #so like. its true. just a weird way to say hes from the UG #im p sure joshuas never BEEN to The actual Higher Plane #he wouldnt even be able to SEE anyone there. much less elevate his vibe that high #anyway. godspeed thanks for reading #hazuki demotion theory #is what im basically calling this LOL

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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ask game for gakuen alice! 1, 6, and 25

OOOh im so excited to be asked about ga <3

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

i guess i'm not really a multi-shipper so i only ship natsume and mikan with each other. ive never really been able to ship mikan with anybody else even tho a few times i have tried to open myself to the idea of multishipping (pretty much in any fandom tbh)... it just never clicked with me. so i dont really ship hotaru or ruka with mikan at all. its not necessarily that i dont get it as much as its just not really my thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

i dont really think so? for ga specifically, the stuff i hate i wouldnt ever like no matter how much fandom i saw of it (like. despite the fact that ive seen the existence of way too many persona x mikan and even persona x natsume fanfics on ffn theres no way id ever be able to stop hating stuff like that lmao). there's ships i was okay with but started to really love because of fandom though, like hotaruka!

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

DONT GET ME STARTED MLMFBSHDUFID

i generally dislike the entire final arc (ill get to that in my essays if anyone is interested) bc the main four have unresolved character arcs. like. all four of them. have unfinished character arcs. ALL OF THEM. and stuff that was set up from the very start was abandoned?? for some reason?? it all feels really pointless, but its hard to see just how unsatisfying it is bc youre crying the whole time. like i didnt get that i disliked the whole final arc for a while bc it was so emotional. it was easy to dislike the last couple chapters bc it was so rushed but the whole last arc was a bit of a let down as well, and when i looked at it without the emotion attached, i realized just how incomplete the story is. in general i think ga has some masterful storytelling, so having it end in such a lackluster way, when so many things were brilliantly set up, is pretty disappointing.

so yeah i WOULD change it. not to get too into details, but mikan shouldve been able to save natsume with her nullification alice. if she still lost all her alice with that then even better (i wouldnt necessarily change that). her losing her memories is something that couldve been used more narratively bc it wasnt used to its full potential. hotaru shouldve promised to find mikan again, the exact reverse of how the story started, with hotaru running after mikan instead of the other way around. ruka shouldve been involved in saving natsume somehow, bc his arc abt being a burden to his best friend is left hanging wide open otherwise.

oof but me saying "should" is very bold... these are just ideas that i feel would suit the rest of the story and complete the character arcs. if the arcs were completed in other ways that would be nice too, but having them completed is important to me.

thank u so much for asking me all this... sorry my last answer is so long!

if you wanna send me a salty ask, feel free!

#ga #gakuen alice #thank u for taking the time to send me this #i always get so excited abt ask games!#answered #anonymous #ask games #salty asks

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alittleemo · 3 years

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I wanted to leave valentine asks in all of your inboxes but it’s late and im tired so im making an appreciation type post instead!!!! long post under the cut bc i dont want to subject yall to that lol

@shades-of-blue- faith you add so much positivity to my day and you show so much love for me and all of your other mutuals and i hope you know how lovely you are <3 i love your art series and how positively u interact w your mutuals and followers, and seeing u in my notifications reminds me that other people are interested in what im saying and it really means a lot to me so thank u, sending u all of my love <3

@lunawedlers- audrey you bring so many new movies and shows to my dash and i adore it. you are so kind and supportive of others and your talent is out of this world and it brightens my day to interact w you or even see u on my dash and u deserve the world and all of its beauty. I may have no idea still what the plot of succession is but i thought i saw Tom when i was watching Star Wars the other day and thought of u and i think thats what love is yk? (it wasnt actually him but its the thought that counts <3). i love u sm bestie, im rlly glad we’re friends <3

@12monthoctober- grace you have always been one of my fav mutuals, you show so much consideration for others and your enthusiasm for the AO3 remakes brings me so much joy and u are such a friendly, supportive, and caring force on my dash and i love u and miss u. you were one of my first mutuals and quite honestly in the early months i was on tumblr and we were mutuals were able to ground me and bring me so much joy and ive stolen so much of my music taste from skam nt and the fact we already had similar tastes rlly enhances the vibe. I love seeing u on my dash and on my Spotify bar and i hope u are doing well, i love u sm <3

@lesbeanfatou- clara you provide such a chaotic and kind whirlwind force on my dash everyday, and your boundless love for all of your friends and followers is so wonderful to behold. literally the joy i had in u immediately following me back and interacting w me in the beginning meant the world to me and i hope u know im here for u always. your love for 1d passed on to me and now i actually follow the convo when ppl talk abt them and my sister and bestie love me for it and ive saved too many of ur reaction images to use myself so ty for that too <3 love u queen u deserve the sun and all of her stars

@coffee-and-moo- grace i literally cannot describe how much joy i get from seeing your Star Wars and marvel posts on my dash, u share and encapsulate so many of my fav interests that i feel like we were destined to be mutuals. your enthusiasm inspires me and i love seeing u on my dash and in my notes—i feel like at this point we are equally spam liking each other’s posts and i love u sm for it bc i see posts to rn specifically for u now lol. you are so lovely and sweet and i hope the world is treating u well and i love u <3

@pianoandcookiedoughlover- you’re such a lovely presence on my dash, and it means so much to me that u took time to check on me after some of my rant posts, j the feeling of knowing other people care enough to check in and your calm, rational way of looking at situations was so important to me. im so excited for skam colorado s2 and i hope you’re doing well and ily <3 (also ive taken to calling u honey in my head bc of ur profile pic color/bc u have no name displayed lol but if u would prefer smth else lmk!!)

@maade-of-stardust- val you were my first mutual and literally the rush i got from a person following me for the first time fueled me for weeks. we don’t talk a lot but i love seeing u on my dash and your fics are incredible and deserve so much love and attention considering all of the love you’re put into them. I hope you are doing well, there are so many people who love and care for u and i love u <3

@paint-dreamscapes-on-the-wall- iris you are such a sweet person, and i still havent forgotten how u took time to give me phoebe bridgers recommendations when i didnt expect to get any—your thoughtfulness and excellent music choices really brightened my life a lot. i happened to find skam boston in the middle of quarantine (may or June i think??), and waiting for your updates everyday grounded me and added a sense of stability to my life as i watched graciela navigate her season. u are such a lovely being and i love u a lot <3

@fakieu- aj u are so creative and your sense of humor is immaculate and you have been such a positive influence on me (that sounds weird lmao but fr your calmness and creativity have inspired me and helped me so much). skam dc was the first remake i actually listened to with music, and i j have to say literally my music taste this summer was almost entirely stolen from u, so i appreciate that a lot. I hope you’re doing well and that school isnt beating u down to much, love u <3

@womenstan and @nori-in-pink- we haven’t interacted a lot but both of u are so sweet and the support u have for your friends and the enthusiasm u have for others is so affirming and rlly helped me feel like people cared about what i had to say here. em- it meant the world to me that u actually made something out of my gif suggestions, i have lots of ideas bouncing around but actually seeing them was mind blowing and i loved them. courtney- i love the cheerfulness u bring to my dash and u are such a lovely soul and i hope u are both doing well

#this is rlly long lol #anyways i hope u all had nice valentines days if u celebrate #lee’s bullshit #sorry if theres any mistakes lmao my reading comprehension is barely existent rn

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thoughts-of-the-unheard · 3 years

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oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)

ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking of replacements fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off

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vampireqrow-moved · 3 years

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um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

#if u have follow up questions ill probably answer them 2morrow #if u ask something just be nice its my birthday 🙄🙄#anyways time to tag this lol !#pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #q slur #long post #my post #ask to tag maybe??

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reineyday · 3 years

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bnha characters as volleyball players (au headcanons)

i have never in my life played volleyball outside of gym class and the occasional beach jaunt, so this is all based off of what i learned from haikyuu LOL

anyways, this started as tags from this fanart by @syblatortue of deku, kacchan, kiri, sero, iida and shouto as vball players, and then it got away from me so if you wanna read 2.9k worth of headcanons about powerhouse athletics high school UA then go ahead and press “read more” :)

deku's the calculating setter like kenma and he fanboys over stats from the international to the national to the high school

kacchan used to make fun of him and look down on him bc he used to think too much on court to move properly, and as a kid kacchan used to think that it was spiking or bust so he always gave deku grief and bullied him over being slow and weak

in middle school kacchan was a starter since first year and eventually became the ace but deku was always second string setter

his athleticism was nothing to write home about but he was just good enough to make the bench

in their middle school tournament their starting setter got injured and deku had to step in to set for a match for the first time ever

powerhouse volleyball high school coach yagi toshinori is watching and he sees all the aborted plans in deku's setting choices

he sees the gutsy sets that miss and the one successful dump he did that threw everyone off-guard (even deku himself), and yagi remembers what it was like to be hungry for volleyball seeing the look in this kid's eyes and he recognizes the brain on him

their team loses there though bc the fact is that deku wasnt athletic enough to do it and kacchan is yelling and deku's crying

but yagi approaches deku (who freaks out bc all might is THE legendary vball player of their country, and the nation was SHOOK when after getting severely injured by a malicious spike in the wrong place he chose to coach high school vball, even if the school was a powerhouse school and also his alma mater lol)

but anyways deku babbles and fanboys even through his tears and says he got into UA but he's not sure he can make the vball team, and yagi says he sees the potential in deku's plays and if he trains hard every. single. day. from now until the tryouts at UA, he might make at least the bench

(cue montage)

kacchan is angry to see deku at tryouts and fuckn RAGING when deku more or less keeps up bc deku got buff since their last high school match

unfortunately for kacchan he is actually the one most familiar with deku's playing since they trained together in middle school too, and he almost pops a blood vessel just thinking it but ever since deku started actually being able to get to the ball in time, vball has been more fun ‘cuz the things deku ends up doing are fucking batshit crazy and his sets are begrudgingly his favourite to hit

deku sets right where kacchan can just hit the ball as violently as he can, and it sounds like a bomb goes off when the spike hits the ground

(kacchan also obviously has the best serves and he mixes it up with the power ones like his ap shots, or floaters when he's strategic; he knows how to read the opposing team and either wait or serve really fast and serves up high to blind them like his flashbomb explosions, and he’s really arrogant about his serves but at least he can back it up as per classic kacchan)

anyways they become a really intimidating duo, apart but especially together, because despite the way deku still occasionally cowers from kacchan’s rage and kacchan is often yelling and antagonizing deku, they can read each other really smoothly on court and they match each other really easily, and they both go for the really gutsy shit no one else would think to try (like samu and tsumu going for the freak quick with samu setting kind of gutsy)

kacchan is also antagonizing af and calls the other team extras lol

but yeah, those two along with renown olympic vball player todoroki enji's son shouto are the three most intimidating first years at UA

enji has a very aggressive playing style and where he targets people on the opposing team specifically to make them sweat, makes them feel like he’s hot on their heels even from the other side of the net, always glaring, always strong

shouto hates it and hates the way his dad made him train day in and day out just because he had a good reaction time and instincts for the ball when he was young

fuyumi and natsuo were slow as kids and got immediately dismissed bc of it bc to enji if they werent athletic enough for the ideal vball playing style as children then theyd never be athletic enough to beat all might’s vball career and metrics in the future

touya was fast enough but he overtrained and strained his knees and then continued straining them to play anyways till they were permanently damaged, and by the time he graduated middle school, his doctor put him on orders to never ever ever do anything that might be overly strenuous for his knees ever again

anyways, shouto plays very cool and detached, like even when he spikes the ball right into your face you’ll feel like he wasn’t looking; he’s a middle blocker like suna, stays calm but uses his whole body

deku eventually convinces him that playing with fire every once in a while, especially when he spikes, can be a good thing because at the end of the day, his dad may have taught him the tricks but it’s shouto himself who’s playing, and so it’s not his dad’s style, it’s his own

also the spikes just aren’t as good or as psychologically effective if shouto’s not 100p IN it when he goes to spike one of deku’s demanding sets

and im gonna say shouto is ambidextrous but more comfortable with his left hand in this volleyball au because shouto’s left side is his fire side, and it’s more parallel to the character to make his more aggressive spiking hand his left one but still have him be able to use his left hand for spikes too (it’s also SO stressful for opponents bc angles)

also yes he does indeed only play with his right hand (his ice side) when he gets into UA, and is initially very hellbent on proving to his father that he can become a pro vball player without being as aggressive as enji on court and without using his more dominant hand, the hand that his dad’s been focusing on whenever they trained at home, the hand he’s spent hours and hours spiking and serving with since he was like five years old

one day deku notices shouto’s writing with his left hand and then connects the dots and sort of badgers him into spiking one of his sets with his left hand too and then yeah shouto tells him his life story and deku manages to emotionally coerce him into being okay with his left-handed spikes

(shouto also feels better about it when deku points out the left-handed angles thing)

so yeah that’s the big three scary first year starters: calculating and gutsy deku, who occasionally makes plays so gutsy he’s at risk of twisting one of his limbs in a very scary way (he’s always bruised in weird ass places from volleyball); raging, aggressive but also cunning kacchan, who is undoubtedly the loudest on any court he’s on, and ambidextrous hot and cold shouto, who does a pretty solid general defense with little holes but has scary aggressive spikes

btw shouto’s got a fanclub and they call him the volleyball prince

also at one point they totally play a practice match against shiketsu and UA loses bc inasa starts antagonizing shouto for being exactly like his father (inasa asked for enji’s autograph after a match once when he was a kid and got rudely blown off) and shouto gets offended and starts targeting inasa and then they get outplayed (it was a close match though ‘cuz both of them couldnt get their heads out of their asses and both their teams were suffering as a result)

alrighty, the other players in that fanart lmao!

kirishimaaaaa my dude my bro, super solid libero, always pumps up the team, and his defense is unbreakable! will receive even the scariest, most powerful spikes and smile cheerfully through it; will always insist that you’re manly for playing with everything you have and never letting fear get in the way of going for it

his middle school had a huge and scary substitute gym teacher who didn’t have mercy and spiked hard right to the faces of the students, and kiri really wanted to run forward to receive the spike and yell about how unfair this teacher was but he froze because the spike seemed unforgiving and if he received it wrong, what if his nose broke? what if he fell and broke something from the impact? mina didnt pause though and she received the spike and told off their substitute teacher and then reported it to their homeroom teacher and it was so manly of her, he promised himself he would never hesitate just bc of a scary spike again

btw mina’s all-around athletic and could probably make it onto the girls vball team but she’s probably on the UA dance team (UA is a powerhouse school for many sports, and theyre famous for their athletics department bc they often hire (former) pro-athletes to teach and coach)

iida comes from a family of sprint runners and he’s the one they trust for the most running; he’s their first year decoy and he’s fast af for such a big guy, and he often also provides extra block support from zooming left and right

also enjoys helping out the managers and corralling his team into being good students; he’d offer to tutor kirishima but kiri seems to have fun trying to be friends with bakugou lol; he makes it known that he’s there if kiri wants some extra patience to go along with his studies though

sero guess blocks so accurately people like to say that he’s got tape coming from his elbows, bringing the ball straight to his arms so that he can block; actually he’s pretty known for having weirdly accurate control bumping the ball back from places other than his hands (esp his elbows though), like he’s just so aware of his body, and he uses everything he can to keep the ball off the ground so he’s good at general defense

some other people i wanna mention:

aizawa’s their supervising teacher and the first year homeroom teacher (he gets to hear bakugou explode both first thing in the morning AND right at the end of the day, oh joy); all might just coaches ‘cuz he does other former pro stuff during class time, so he somehow ended up in charge of the volleyball club after the previous teacher stopped being able to

he never went pro but he’s a black belt mixed martial artist, and he still does those parent-child karate classes with hitoshi (who is now close to black belt and on the demo team, since they’ve been doing this since hitoshi was like five) and eri (who just got her yellow belt! aizawa is soft)

only hizashi, nemuri, oboro and his kids know this but he’s also REALLY good at doing aerial silk and he looks graceful af when he does it

hitoshi started kinda learning aerial silk when hizashi took him to a rock climbing place that had the silks on the ceiling (dont at me, there’s a place EXACTLY like this where i used to live lmao) and found out they offer classes there, and hizashi laughed and said “yknow your dad is pro at those right”

ochako is their first year manager, and when everyone is confused about kacchan continuing to call deku something so mean, she talks about how the nickname is cute and gives off the impression that he’s trying his best and when deku grins and blushes and seems to be happy with it, the whole team starts calling him deku with the same intentions and fondness behind it

every time other people hear UA calling their starting setter “deku” theyre so confused

nejire is the third year manager leaving and she does gymnastics and dance outside of school

mirio is the ace and his thing is that he is very strong and very precise, and he moves like he phases through the other players

tamaki is a middle blocker that can adapt all kinds of playing strategies pretty fast as long as he’s got time to digest them and decent food in his stomach—he’s a great decoy ‘cuz his spikes are hard and he’s pretty fast too, and while he prefers read blocking, there are a few times he guess blocks and it’s accurate af and kinda scary honestly

tamaki and mirio are also pretty fearsome ‘cuz people start off scared of mirio’s power spikes and serves (btw his goal is to spike a million service aces LOL), and then tamaki kind of surprises them ‘cuz he seems to be able to just? do everything??? (and theyre extra surprised bc no doubt he’ll be talking himself down and doubting himself before the match and the opponents will think like “oh good he’s mentally weak” and he kind of is but also holy shit??? we got blocked AGAIN???) and so they sort of only keep a peripheral eye on mirio while they start focusing on tamaki, and then all of a sudden mirio’s not where you thought he was and how’d he get there so fast and there other players in the way??? and then mirio spikes one in

this isn’t really related to anything else but you BET mirio can bend low and do insanely accurate bump receives from pretty close to the ground like! his thighs and knees are legend

we don’t really know any second year bnha students, but i’d like to think their starting team isn’t just first years, so i’d say like… hm or mb tamaki is starting setter (all the stuff about adapting and easily digesting strategies still applies, as well as his flexible skillset, it just now includes setting) and mirio is his ace, but all might puts deku in a lot more than you’d expect a bench player to be subbed in not only ‘cuz it shakes up the other team to see such a meek-looking kid do these gutsy-ass sets, but also bc it’s good for tamaki’s mental health that he feels like he’s got a really great setter right there supporting him as well, even though he knows (objectively) that he can hold the fort on his own

so yeah, id say tamaki and mirio for sure starters (mirio is captain), kirishima’s a starter (he’s always been really good, he just used to get a little scared off in matches sometimes, but since the thing with mina, he’s been really gunning for it, and also conveniently their last really good libero graduated the year before and they didn’t really have a good backup), shouto’s a starter (he’s lowkey mad about it bc it feels like he’s fulfilling his dad’s legacy and he doesnt want to be), and probably two second years, that feels fair

bakugou’s benched bc his temper’s still a little too unwieldy for the court (much to his dismay), sero’s still patching up holes in his defense, and deku could stand to watch other people’s playing styles, but u bet theyre all fearsome af when theyre on court: deku seems to be the only one that seems to be able to bring out shouto’s terrifying spikes for now; after their first qualifiers, rumours fly around the vball circuit about his angry pinch server that’s so mad he’s not a regular, he takes it all out on his serves and rip the team that has to try and receive them

well okay, so bakugou is the only that i can qualify as actually fearsome bc even when he’s being intimidating sero is a pretty chill dude, and deku looks too nice to really be scary so the opponents usually arent scared until he starts playing and then for them it’s just this internal monologue of “what the fuck? what the FUCK???”

and sero, while chill, is the type to be aggressively cheerful and grin really wide after he blocks and gives you, the opponent, really supportive feedback that sort of still offends you but in a way you cant refute because every word he said was nice and his demeanour was nice too and yet? you kinda wanna strangle him??? and then he laughs winsomely and blocks your next spike too (like, “awh i noticed you have a tendency to follow here when xyz happens, but better luck next time right? that’s usually a pretty good play”)

and of COURSE their school banner says “plus ultra”

ANYWAYS i went OFF lmao i can’t believe i really wrote 2.9k of headcanons for this

i have waaaay more ideas about what the rest of the class and other characters are up to in this au that is powerhouse athletics high school UA so if for some reason you got all the way to the end then thank you and please interact if you wanna talk more about it!!!

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha headcanons #mha #my hero academia #mha headcanons #haikyuu fusion #sort of #rei rambles #rei writes #(sort of)#it was fun trying to parallel their quirks to their vball playing style haha

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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