#but i don't have alternative wording

[ps1demodisk]

Sorry I'm not low empathy autistic in the "mysterious loner boy who secretly cares about his friends and talks in a monotone voice" way and I'm actually just completely indifferent to the suffering of people I don't know personally and help strangers out of a sense of "this is the right thing to do" and not "I feel so bad for this person" or guilt.

I sit and listen to my friends even though I don't really care about hearing about their problems because I know they'll be upset if I don't, and despite the fact I honestly can't genuinely care about the issue itself, I care about the impact it's having on my friends and that's enough to make me want to help them through it.

Did you know that's actually an expression of empathy all of its own?

It will absolutely happen again I literally am not even sorry

#actually autistic #low empathy #low empathy autistic #seriously #personal rant #serious post #the first part isn't a dig at people with high empathy or regular empathy btw #i know it reads like that #but i don't have alternative wording #you can't just say #support all autistic people #then turn your back on people who's presentation of autism you dislike #you're just as ableist as any other bigot #and I mean that #don't try to debate me on this post I'll actually bite you

[bumblingbabooshka]

Harry Kim saying Naomi is lucky to be born on Voyager and that he would have given "anything" to have her life when he was a kid...

#He sees NO downsides???? #Also I love how Neelix was yelling and panicked and Harry was like 'haha ok buddy. Hey this little guy is ugly huh~? See ya later!' #absolutely unbothered and not the least bit curious - love him <3 #saw someone post about how they don't like 'once upon a time' bc Neelix doesn't tell Naomi right away about her mother .... bro. #c'mon. Anyway I love Neelix and him trying so hard to shield Naomi from bad things / upset bc he KNOWS how fucking painful #it is to lose a family DID make me tear up. #Also Naomi in that burned-down forest (symbolic of innocence?) was a kickass visual. Neelix telling her about his family and Naomi trying #to comfort HIM??? SHE'S SUCH A GOOD KID MAN....Neelix making her a flotter doll was also v cute #OH AND Naomi going 'I Am Borg...' and Neelix going '~??? No you're not~!!!' and Naomi giggling...added NOTHING to the #episode - as it should be!! Sometimes you've just gotta have a really cute silly moment <3 #Tuvok: [says something] / Tom: Nice bedside manner Tuvok =_= #Tuvok: [about to say the most beautiful comforting words you've ever heard one parent say to another] And I took that personally. #Love how Naomi is scared of Seven at first...girl that's your roommate. #HEHEH she starts off the series scared of her but by the end she's her little buddy and also her intern #but yeah never forget that Harry Kim can and will say the most unhinged things but so casually that no one will really clock it #NEVER forget that he says he remembers.....either being an infant or his own birth - both WILD to me #Harry Kim lowkey loves destiny and being special and the idea of 'chosen ones' and the narrative even though he will fight it all if it #harms the ones he loves #Harry: (guy from an alternate timeline who replaced the dead Naomi with the alive one from his own) That kid's living the dream <3

[anistarrose]

what I mean when I say I'm tired of people making found families into nuclear families:

among other things, it's kind of annoying when people act like the romantic couple are automatically the "most obvious" candidates to adopt a kid; or act like a pair of people in a romantic relationship can't happily co-parent a kid with people outside of that romance

what I don't mean when I say I'm tired of people making found families into nuclear families:

people using "siblings" or "parent and child" as a shorthand (or even non-shorthand) for characters' relationships sometimes

#like yeah i've personally encountered instances of “these characters are siblings” that i feel are slight oversimplifications #but there's also not a great concise alternative word #and sometimes? characters CAN just be adopted siblings! #and also if i can be completely honest #sometimes i want a way to gently clarify that i'm interpreting the relationship of two characters in a non-shippy way #without having to put a big aggro “don't tag as ship!!!” disclaimer up #i actually we believe we need to decouple “i'd like to avoid mentions of this ship” from the implication of moral judgment #(or even like “i am judging you but only for your subjective taste and you don't deserve harassment”) #but in the meantime some people probably *will* interpret “don't tag as ship” as moral judgment #so i need a concise little way to bring up organically that i'm not into a ship!

[dracaelus]

From The Uncanny X-men #200

This godamn issue, I swear to god- !!

I'm crying my fucking heart out. This was just too good. It broke my heart

#are you afraid? and with good reason #charles i'm not worthy-- of your trust of this awesome responsibility #please do not ask for what i cannot give #DAMN THE DIALOG IN THIS IS JUST TOO GOOD #THIS IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE #it will be hard. consider the alternative. well? I shall try #suppose I fail and betray your dream--?! OUR dream blast you! #I gave you my word charles come what may I will be true to it #all of this is rotating inside my head #kinda healing my traumas with how bad dc handled ghostmaker's redemption also #<- just kidding i'm still pissed #anyway this is a banger #issue 199 was also amazing #i don't think i'll ever be normal about this scene between erik and charles #i mean liked what they did in the x-men show but god- !!!!! wish i could have seen this #drac panels #marvel comics #magneto #charles xavier #cherik #x-men #the uncanny x-men

[icewindandboringhorror]

reminders of the passage of time moodeboard

#my blog is in his last year of middle school. he'll be off to high school next year (at least I think so..? 13 yrs old is usually 8th grade #at least from my experience. 9th graders are usually 14. 10th are 15. etc. etc. and then you're in 12th grade #and graduate high school usually 17yrs old.) ANYWAY.. wow he is so ancient.. #maybe he's still in a preteeny early teen emo phase or something.. I hope he gets some black and white striped armwarmers and black eyeline #r for his birthday. Maybe an MP3 player of course. Though because I don't really like most alternative music and he is my son he's actually #not allowed to listen to metal or pop punk or emo rock whatever stuff. I open the mp3 player and pre-stock it with only #disco and funk and classical music. he can have a little chiptune or techno stuff as a treat (sometimes emo adjacent maybe more #scene. I think a lot of scene kids were into that more.. emo's weird eccentric brother)) #Also he starts taking iron pills his 13th birthday because he's probably incredibly anemic just like me #so on and so forth and et cetera (I'm just being silly.. I am not pro-controlling your children down to whatmusic they #listen to or etc.etc. lol) #THOUGH I love that it's in january... january is one of my favorite months if not my favorite. yeeaaay #just such a nice cool month. I like that it's the start of the year mostly and that it's sometimes snowy here. Like where I live nov - dec #isnt really actually snowy?? You always associate those winter Months with snow but I think snow happens later on this coast #so it's more like Jan - March or even april sometimes. Though that may just be climate change lol.. But it's cool that Jan is winter AND #ACTUALLY snowy. plus the Beginning Of Year vibes and energy.. hrm... nice nice.. ANYWAY #AND this is not even my first tumblr blog. I had a different one before it I think.. #evviilll to be on one website for so long lol.. Very thankful that most websites I used to use as a 10 year old or whatever #are now defunct. There's something weird about how humans are just creating endless streams of words and pictures and all of this stuff #and it just goes out into the void and stays there long after the person themselves has forgotten it. not even like 'oh no what if i said #something bad!!' but more just the general sense of.. people create so much more ideas than they can actually hold in their heads. nobody #remembers exactly word for word every post they've ever made or etc. It's like parts of yourself that you've externalized and then fade awa #from you but they're still you but they're not so you just have little snapshots of yourself in time floating around entirely unbenknownst #to you. like making clones of yourself and then forgetting you did so but every once in a while going 'shit... there's clones out there.. #of me and I don't even have track or awareness of them anymore.. what an odd concept..' etc. not EXACTLY like that ghbj..you know what I me #n.. or maybe you dont.. hrmm... ANYWAY #I am just now slightly recovering from my most recent mysterious illness spell and etc. so I would like to post more again and mAYBE even #do a costume if I'm being ambitious.. but after so many times of being randomly stricken by problems I'm now fearful of ever being too #hopeful lol.. always like 'I would like to go to the grocery store tomorrow! .... MAYBE.. if i CAN.. possibly... NOT getting my hopes up'. #etc. etc. etc. every statement has a caveat and a backup plan and so on and so forth and such is life.. anyway. happy birthday evil tumblr

[lizzybeth1986]

How the Court is Allowed to View A Polyglot Kiara

More photodumping for the upcoming Drake and Kiara essay!

So this is a compilation of the times I remember Kiara's skill with languages being viewed with disbelief, disdain or disrespect. There may be others, but these are the earliest ones and often the people who say it get away with saying it:

TRR1 Ch 16 - If the MC chooses "dare" at the Truth or Dare game, and calls Madeleine acting as a member of the press:

(Screenshots from the HIMEME YouTube channel)

TRR1 Ch 18 - A dialogue option where the MC can "quiz" Kiara on which other languages she knows:

(Screenshots by the My Choices (Fabbylous) channel)

(Possibly Inaccurate Translation: Good day (German), my friend (Spanish). Are you happy (Italian, though I get the sense that she's saying it sarcastically like...when someone says "satisfied??" after they've answered a stupid question you asked).

TRR2 Ch 4 - At the garden party in Applewood, when Madeleine is sending veiled threats to Hana about getting a suitor:

(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube channel)

Madeleine engages in a bizarre play of exoticization against Kiara in this scene, and her "advice" to her fails dramatically (but perhaps that was the intention?) when Rashad is unable to even understand either Kiara's French or German. As you can see from these screenshots, Kiara herself is not happy with this suggestion.

TRR2 Ch 14 - Gossiping with Adelaide

One of your gossiping options (the one that fails) is if you compliment Kiara ("Did you know that Kiara speaks more than just French?"), which gets a pretty negative response from Adelaide:

(Screenshots from @cassiopeiacorvus)

Ironic how this is one of the rare times the MC can truly compliment Kiara on her skills...and she's shot down for it!! Also it's funny how "nobody cares about Kiara's linguistic prowess" yet there are more than enough people out there just pouncing to discredit it and pretend she's lying!

TRR3 Ch 7 - Before meeting Kiara at her estate:

(Screenshots from the HIMEME YouTube channel)

There is plenty I hate about this scene (more on that in the essay) but I find it extremely sus that this shitty attitude towards Kiara's most prominent skill is allowed to go on without any pushback for three fucking books.

#essay series: trr's alternative lis #kiara theron #the royal romance #listen i know that kiara's peppering of french words in between isn't a thing you often see among users of that language #and esp to those language users it may sound wrong #but what do you expect #the writers arent going to do anymore research than is strictly necessary for this character so...stop making it a character problem? #y'all don't have this energy for madeleine's abominable time management or olivia's butter knives 🧐

[pillowprincessvarric]

No one is going to like this but the solution to people misusing mental health terminology like hyperfixation & special interest is to bring back the concept & framing of Nerd Culture. Also the term "squee".

#look we really threw out the baby with the bathwater in the process of distancing ourselves from 2010s nerd culture #and now there's a terminology vacuum #which is why people are like ''im hyperfixating'' when they're actually. ahem. ''fangirling'' #i know a lot of people have convinced themselves that the level of investment in fiction that people #with tumblr accts have is actually 'normal' and therefore you don't need to call it anything. but that is simply not true. #fandom and 'nerdiness' is Considerably more mainstreamed than it used to be #but it is still not a thing that 'everyone does now'. and so people are going to want words #like to specify that they are an above average level of invested in something #so we might as well direct them away from the dsm even if the alternative is Cringe or w/e

[urpurplehairedsage]

aro lesbian culture is using lusting instead of yearning. yearning hours? nah, it's late lusting hours over here, wanna fuck o'clock? <3

#if any of you have alternative words or phrases to ''yearning'' #send 'em through #something about the word ''yearning'' just doesn't do it for me #perhaps because it's mainly used to describe romantic floresque depictions of sapphism #which I just don't relate to #shoutout to all allo² sapphics though all love <3 #tw sex mention #aromantic #aro #arospec #aromanticism #alloaro #aroallo #aromantic allosexual #sapphic #wlw #lgbtqia+ #queer

[astralalmighty]

I wish there were commonly used non-romantic "shipping" terms for parent-child relationships and friendships. I want to look up a term that's synonymous with motherly love between my favorite characters and not find weird incest. I want there to be a way I can look up ekko/jinx from arcane and not find romantic or sexual content. I wish there were more words for friendships, and i wish we prioritized these relationships enough to have terms

#idk #an alternative could be smth like adding a word at the end of the term? #like i know the romantic shipname for jinx/ekko is timebomb #so... #timebomb friendship? #timebomb /f #i don't ship them #but like #i just want there to be a tag I can click on #and find a bunch of friendship stuff between them #you know what i mean? #i don't want to have to filter through ten thousand things and still not find it #arcane #ekko #jinx #same with things like silco and jinx or vander and vi #like #let me see the friendships #fucking hell this would be amazing for non-canon friendships #personally i think caitlyn and viktor would get along really well #i want a tag that's like #caitlyn/viktor /friendship #just #something like that

[journeythroughtherain]

I DID IT!!

Aaaaaaaah 😭

I am mildly impressed that I can't remember seeing a single wing fic. It's honestly fascinating. I have more thoughts about the general trends and types of fics this fandom seems to be drawn to (or seems to skip entirely), but those will have to wait for a more reasonable time of day.

Maybe sometime tomorrow I'll also go over my ao3 history for an estimate of how many of these I ended up reading in the end. 🤔

I'm going to leave the tab open in my browser but now I'm finally going to allow myself to filter out everything I found I didn't vibe with (which... Will probably remove quite a bit of fics. Especially from the E rated ones. Once again I find myself at odds with the majority of fandom when it comes to certain aspects of my otps' characterization). But I did it!!

#911 #911 abc #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #it's taken me a year but i've gone through the entire tag #admittedly there will probably be at least one more page added before I wake up tomorrow but oh well #now that i'll allow myself filters i won't have to scroll past like fourty fics in a row going 'squick. squick. character bashing. squick.' #'squick. author i don't vibe with. squick. another alternative meeting AU where buck is written out of his found family AKA squick.' #speaking of filtering my biggest wish for any fandom #is for people writing dom/sub vibe smut (that they have tagged as such) to actually tag which character is written as which #and no using 'top' and 'bottom' as a weird sort of 'shorthand' does not count #those are not the same #i just wanna be able to not have puzzle it together from vague tags and even vaguer summaries #in order to know if it's a fic for me or not #honestly same goes for all those AUs tagged with 'insert career here AU' #where it turns out that no it's just buck not being with the rest of them #and i have no way to figure that out until several thousands of words in #okay rant over i need to sleep now

[gingerbreadmonsters]

skimming through all of the dead text at the end of an old fic is so strange but weirdly satisfying and i could not even begin to explain why

#so like fun fact #all of the sort of half-sentences and not-quite-fully-formed ideas that i've had over the course of writing a fic don't actually get deleted #generally they just get relegated to the bottom of the document until either a) i've reached the point where i want to slot them back in #b) i've reworked the wording or whatever to make it fit better into the rest of the fic #or c) the fic has ended and i've decided i don't want to use them any more #so going back and reading them is kind of bizarre bc all of a sudden i am flung right back into the headspace of that fic and what it #felt like to write it #remembering 'oh yeah i was going to say that wasn't i' #and 'ooh that was a good phrase i should use that somewhere else' #and ' woah this would have been so different if they had done this instead of that' #its that sort of re-reading a diary feeling #the bottom of a fic document is a weird sort of liminal space for me it's fab #i'm back in the 'resist and elongate' document today to do some work on an alternate version #and included in that dead text is a list of the songs i was listening to as i wrote it #so i'm REALLY back in that space and it's great :DDD #the songs are a deeply bizarre mixture but its the vibe to ME #radiohead karma police is still the song of all time #i can drop the list if u like but it might be exposing my slightly hatstand music taste lmao

[perilegs]

every time i try to do something scary on purpose for my social anxiety the universe decides to add in unexpected situations 😔

#i was supposed to go pick up a package and then i was like. ok wait. ive gotten good at buying something while pickiing a package up. what #if i also buy stamps #bc you have to ask the cashier for those (same as with the package) #and it was just at my cornerstore so it's a safe nonscary environment #well. as not-scary as any store can be. #but. there were a lot of ppl there. which! i thought would be fine bc the line was still relatively short but. what happened was that they #opened another register. #and i was queuing for the reguster that had stamps and handles packages #and i would have loved to stay at the queue. but. only one person went to the queue of the new register. so there were 2 ppl in line before #me. one already had their stuff on the conveyor belt and the other was about to put their stuff there too #and the person who went to the other register only had like 2 things to buy. so. it was me. in line behind 2 people. versus an almost #empty register. so. i had to switch to the free register before the cashier had the time to b like 'there's a free register here!' #bc i don't have a script for hearing that and saying 'no' !!! #so i just. switched over and bought my snacks. leaving the store with no package and no stamps. #bc if i hadnt i would have had to say something i dont have a social script for and probably stumbled on my words and gone red and dizzy #which. not ideal. #and this sucks ass bc all i really needed was one (1) success in a social situation #bc this week has been kicking my ass social anxiety wise #usually when i go and get coffee from a coffeeshop they dont ask me shit and just make my order to regular milk which. ok. i dont have an #allergy or anything. i just think plant alternatives taste better in coffee #but this week. i got asked 'do you want that in regular milk?' and i was not expecting that #so i was like 'yes please 😊' and drank my grossly milky coffee dreaming about what i could have had #and that happened TWICE #after the first time i did think about it and decide i could have said 'do you have oat milk or something' and then the barista #could have either said yes or no and both of those would b easy to answer #but instead of asking if they have oat milk i just said yes. again. #can you guys imagine some people speak without being scared #some people even go to the store without feeling even an ounce of fear. imagine #leevi talks

[ikishima]

.

#the amount of compassion you have to pour directly into a bad-faith asshole's mouth without knowing whether there's even a point #in order to get them to the point where they're willing to engage at a level where they actually take your feelings & words into account #the point where they even start hearing you and seeing you as a potential equal in conversation #the point where learning and growing becomes a possibility #is fucking exhausting. and i understand why a lot of people refuse to do it. i understand why some people dont practice what they preach #because sometimes the congregation in question is just there to throw tomatoes without any intent of listening #but idc! idc! im not gonna let a bunch of assholes close my heart off. id rather be naive but kind and get taken advantage of #if the alternative is leaving people behind or making a single person feel the way i have felt #having good intentions but being unable to express it w/o negative emotion or without the correct words or not being given a fighting chanc #to never be seen as a person or heard or listened to is so hurtful #i never want to do that to someone #and if i have parted ways with you or made you feel like that at any point please know it is only when i have no other options left #i know it's an autism thing to be so utterly gutted at being misunderstood and i'm most likely giving energy to people who don't deserve it #but i dont care! i dont care! #my compassion IS a renewable resource because i keep feeding it hope and humanity #i get mad sometimes but please know every angry word i've ever said has stuck on my mind like a glue trap #i remember every fight i have been slightly too aggressive and potentially awful in since the fifth grade and i continue to ruminate #on harm i have caused however big or small #i feel so surrounded by hate and anger and i just want to be that person who doesnt get caught up in it and can be compassionate no matter #lots to think about today ... #x

[midnightcowboy1969]

my monk genderbending fic which i do want to continue is an exploration of Leland's own sexuality, a way for me to express my own discomfort with gendered expectations, and me being horny and that's sorta beautiful I think

#again i'd like an alternate universe episode in which Monk's a lady #it would work because the show does emasculate monk for his perceived femininity due to 2000s misogyny #which stems from being unable to separate femininity from womanhood #but i don't mind #because its like hell yeah that is my girl my wife #but i am critical of it #but i think about mrs. monk (adrian) p-word every day ;) #I can have several thoughts in my brain at the same time

[erabundus]

scaramouche  is  such  a  fun  muse,  because  he  can  be  playfully  annoying  like  a  little  brat  —  only  to  turn  around  and  do  something  genuinely  (  horrifyingly  )  malicious  without  an  ounce  of  hesitation.

#𝟎𝟎𝟒 : 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥. ◟ hc .◝ #( i don't even say this in an ''oooo he's so edgy and dangerous oooo watch out'' kind of sense i just find it deeply interesting. ) #( he's cruel in the same way you might call a child who tears the wings off a butterfly cruel ) #( he understands violence but he's kind of numb to the gravity of it all. empathy settings have been turned to low until tree therapy. ) #( he only sees violence as a tool to get what he wants? he gleans just as much amusement from breaking a bone as he does using words ) #( if one method doesn't get his desired results he'll use another and keep escalating. ) #( the danger comes in how he has no reservations ABOUT escalating bc he sees everyone else as lesser than him. ) #( he cares more about whether something would inconvenience him than whether it would be morally right or wrong. ) #( so he may appear to show mercy but it's largely because the alternative would be more tedious. he's a bit lazy at times. ) #( that's also why he usually doesn't immediately go for the most destructive option. he prefers a slow burn. testing the waters. ) #( unless he's convinced murder is the most efficient option. or you genuinely manage to anger him. ) #( in a twisted sense there's a kind of purity to his cruelty?? i just think he's neat. )

[colorstormx]

what if I renamed Storm as Zephyr instead. what if I renamed myself Zephyr. hmm. hmmmmmm.

#nothing permanent decided just yet of course #but I was just reminded that the word exists and hit damn. it sure does have a certain pull to it #if I do rename Storm then like... 'Storm' would definitely still stick around as a nickname at the very least #but like. I'm honestly considering it for my own name. I've been looking for a better one #my birth name is just ehhhh to me. I don't feel a ton of connection to it really #and Color is fine for online spaces/with people who know this side of me. but it's not really something I tend to introduce myself as irl #I mean to be fair Zephyr might not be taken much more seriously either but it does have a certain feel that I like #eh. if it doesn't really really stick with me then maybe it'll end up as the name for an alternate Storm form or something #like that angel design I made for her yeaaaaars ago #ironically it's about this time of year that I decided to change her name from Color to Storm. that was back around new years 2017... #holy FUCK how is that SEVEN years ago #I. huh. what .. what the fuck. yeah it was winter 2016/17 I'm pretty sure? if not then it was 2015/16 which means eight years and. man. huh. #okay checking old refs it was in fact 2017 when she officially became Storm #wild. #anyway that's tonight's 2:30am thoughts #the snowjag speaks